#im just drunk and saw a post that set me off

[butchshevik]

Okay actually spoiler for my someday video essayist career but. The secret answer to the question at the heart of the dividing issue of the terminally online contingent of our generation (is homestuck good) is that no matter what poststructuralist five dollar words you put on it, by all metrics the text is actually quite bad. Poorly paced poorly plotted poorly written. Undoubtably racist and sexist. Surprisingly homophobic, on both a casual and also major-plot-point level, for all it gets bandied about as a story about discovering one's own queerness. Dogshit in most respects. But when you are dramatic and edgy and 13 and dont know precisely what gay shit is wrong with you but are aware on a vague and portentious level that some horrific and earth-shattering truth is coming your way on that front, there is a certain meaning you can read into the gaps in the text and the visible insecurities of the author that give it the insightful depth of a Joycean masterpiece pushing the edges of narrative convention. Moreover, its narrative arc eventually centers around the premise that the universe where you are the best version of yourself leads to ruin, and the best version of the universe itself requires a version of you that is perhaps not the most accomplished or smart or brave. That the God-Author genuinely is also just making it up as they go along, and despite their many other flaws the God-Author is, at least, pretty fucking on it with comedic timing and consistent and engrossing characterization, and chose a format to express their skills that reduced the visibility of their storytelling weaknesses (plot, pacing, theme, narration) and magnified their strengths (dialogue, witty wordplay, visual gags, adaptability) which overall elevated the piece well beyond what one can argue was its deserved status based on its textual merits. It's a seductive pice on a number of levels, and often reaffirms the readers most secret fears and most secret hopes - i am annoying, i am misunderstood, i am cringe, i am special, i am not the best version of myself i could be, i am redeemable, i am doing what i am supposed to be doing even if i could be doing more, no one can save me, i have people who will love me anyway - in a way that explains the residual defense of it even a decade after a hundred-odd controversies and a protracted "ending" sequence that I've never seen anyone even step up for bat for. Also dave strider was tween fujoshi angst bait day one and vriska was designer crack cocaine for asuka-best-girl truthers and it's okay to have swallowed it hook line and sinker (+to have perhaps projected a lot of Feelings about that onto john [june] egbert and/or terezi pyrope or karkat vantas) but we all need to be honest with ourselves at some point because, ladies, at best, we are officially pushing 30, and i will #neverforget the best queer media poll final round

[dovveri]

save your love

synopsis: y/n is susie in allie x & mitski's susie save your love song - if u dont know it go listen :P (but also u dont have to lol synopsis is y/n calls bsf sana drunk and sad and angry abt her bf and you don't know that sana is in love with you)

warnings: cursing, sexual harassment, alcohol, slight cheating, gonn repeat sexual harassment bcs its there and its potentially triggering so err on the side of caution and dont read if ur worried - take care🙏

w/c: 3.7k

a/n: still not over the fact that sana used susie save your love in that one ig post like wdym ur a mitski - qpoc ICON - listener and u post a song abt how u wish ur bsf would leave her dumb bf and be w u instead - a quintessential wlw experience like HELLO???? i also think i projected a liiiiiiil bit accidentally maybe im so sorry but writing this shit works better than therapy ngl

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

"y/n where the fuck are you."

you're cursing as you almost drop your drink, phone between your ear and shoulder.

"i dunnoooo one of marshall's friends' places i think. he was supposed to be my ride home but i can't find himmmmmm."

sana's already got her keys in her hand, heading out towards her car, cursing under her breath, "can you share your location with me sweetie? or is there anyone else there that you know?"

you look around at the various stragglers in the living room either smoking, high out of their minds, or completely passed out. loud music, bass thumping hurting your head as you feel the vibrations shoot up your body. "mmmmm noooo but-"

"hey! marshall's girl right?" a deep voice comes over the phone and sana squints to try and make out what's going on, unlocking her car and turning her engine on.

"y/n? hey y/n you still there?"

"mm yeah sana sorry one sec- you guys know where marshall is?"

"think i saw him headed home with someone in the passenger seat, thought that was you cutie."

"someone else? huh?"

"you doing okay? you look a little pale let's get you upstairs in the bathroom yeah?"

"w-wait no-" sana can make out multiple voices talking to you and a little scuffle as you drop your phone, voices fading.

"fuck!" she's about to call your boyfriend marshall and demand for your address when she sees you were able to start sharing your location with her. she sets it into her navigation app and starts speeding to the destination.

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

"umm guys where are we going? i don't think marshall's up here..."

"oh don't worry babygirl. marshall's our best friend he's okay with whatever we wanna do."

"mm okay but like- what are we doing? if we're singing you guys have to know i suck at karaoke so don't laugh."

the three guys holding you up laugh, "nah nah baby we're just gonna get you cleaned up a little before marshall comes to pick you up okay?"

"oh okay~ mmm wait where's my phone? i was just talking to my best friend-" you start to fumble for your pockets while the guys lead you into a dim room.

they shut the door and close in on you, you’re still cluelessly looking for your phone when one guy starts kissing you, shoving his tongue into your mouth.

"w-wait! what are you doing?!"

he's pushing you onto a bed and climbing on top of you kissing your neck while the others slip your top off and unbutton your jeans. "shhh we're just cleaning you up like we said. want you to be nice and ready for marshall right?"

"no what-"

the door slams open and sana's there, breathing heavily from clambering over the steps.

"get the fuck away from her."

the guys exchange annoyed looks when the one who was at your jeans stands up and walks towards sana, "you the best friend? you're welcome to join us if you'd like." he's pulling on her hand and dragging her towards you.

she doesn't give him another second, yanking him back and bringing a knee up into his crotch, letting him fall to the side groaning as she rushes towards you.

you realise belatedly she's got her phone out and the flashlight on as you squint, trying to make out her face.

"get the fuck off her right fucking now. i've got all you shits on camera and the cops on speed dial."

the two guys glance at each other, looking like they want to pull a fight but then they're cursing and moving away, picking up their friend off the floor and stumbling out the door.

her flashlight turns off, and you feel her tugging your clothes back into place before lifting you bridal-style and carrying you out, down the stairs, and into the passenger seat of her car.

you watch hazily as she paces around outside for a few minutes on the phone with someone, stopping to snap a picture of the house and then hanging up and getting into the car, slamming the door close.

you flinch at the sound, shrinking into your seat, pulling the jacket she's draped over you closer.

she starts the engine and pulls out wordlessly.

you don't dare speak yet, letting the soft hum of the engine and the late night radio music fill the silence as you listen to her heavy breaths slow down.

finally she sighs and glances over at you, "what would you have done if i didn't show up y/n?" her voice is gentle, it always was with you.

you can't look at her, tears welling up in your eyes as you stare out the window, shrugging in response.

she's frowning, "did they manage to do anything to you? are you okay? do we need to get you to a hospital?"

you're shaking your head, the movement making you dizzy, feeling gross in your own skin as you pick at your nails. "can you take me to marshall's? i don't wanna talk about this right now." you're voice is croaky when you speak, on the verge of tears.

sana grips the wheel hard at your request, instead, pulling over on the side of the empty road and putting the car in park.

you sigh exasperatedly, "sana please i just said i don't want to talk about this right now."

"that's fine but if you think i'm taking you to that asshole's house then you've got to be fucking kidding me y/n."

you turn your head to look at her then, her eyes are dark with barely concealed rage, fists clenched so tight her knuckles were turning white. you falter under her gaze, "he's not an asshole."

she scoffs then, "are you fucking serious? what kinda boyfriend takes you to his rapist friends' house then leaves with another girl without so much as a text. it should be enough proof he’s a dick that he's even friends with those assholes." she spits.

and you can't help it, you start sobbing uncontrollably.

"oh shit y/n i didn't- i'm sorry-" she's shuffling around trying to get around the console, and you sob even louder at her outstretched hand, careful and wanting to comfort you but making sure you were okay being touched first.

you're diving into her arms and then she's all there. pulling you into her lap and adjusting the position of her seat so you can squeeze in between the wheel and her torso. soft hands running through your hair shooshing and whispering gently into you ear. arm wrapped tightly around your waist while your face is buried in her chest, heaving and letting out your disgust.

she never stops running her fingers through your hair, letting your sobs wrack your body, hearts beating in tandem as she just holds you.

eventually, your sobs reside to sniffles and you feel a little silly, rubbing your eyes onto the material of her betty boop pyjama shirt.

she's still combing fingers through you hair, rubbing your back lightly, and laying soft kisses along the side of your face, resting her forehead against the top of your head and breathing you in softly.

"i-i'm-" your voice cracks as you try to speak up weakly but she hushes you quickly.

"we don't have to talk if you don't want to. we can stay here for as long as you want. i'm not going anywhere."

you feel your eyes well up again, but you swallow it down, speaking up after clearing your throat, "i'm sorry-" your voice cracks again, almost breaking, "i'm sorry you had to see me like that."

you feel her lifting her head off yours and looking at you in disbelief, mouth open and about to protest but you put a finger to her lips, still not able to look at her.

"no let me finish. you were right. i had no idea what i'd have done if you didn't come. i'm sorry that you did have to come. i'm just so sorry for fucking up sana. if i'd- if i hadn't got so drunk maybe, or if i'd followed marshall home-"

she licks the finger on her lips and you yelp, looking at her out of reaction and cringing, wiping the finger on her shoulder in faux disgust.

she chuckles, "can i talk yet?"

you nod shyly, "as long as you don't lick me again." avoiding her eyes.

she's smiling and a hand is on your cheek, brushing the skin there gently and you can't help but lean into the touch.

"y/n... you don't have to apologise for anything. i'm sorry if i made you feel like you did. but i don't care about all of that. i'm just grateful i was there, if anything, i'm angry at myself for not being there sooner." you look at her as she takes a shaky breath in, eyes wet, "but you have to know none of that was your fault. there's no what if. it was no one's fault but the guys who decided to take advantage of you while you were drunk."

you're crying again, head in your hands, "n-no but- like i know that but i just- like i trusted them. i trusted them because they were meant to be marshall's friends and i trusted marshall."

she's rubbing her hands at your lower back, "that doesn't make it your fault for trusting them. they broke that trust the moment they started thinking of you in a way they shouldn't have. you can't blame yourself for something like that y/n."

"i just feel so gross sana. i can't stop thinking about how their hands felt on me, and i want to scrub off every bit of them."

she's clutching your waist, anger building up again, "i'll fucking kill them."

you let out a choked laugh, "yeah? you and your 163 centimetres? against three buff gym rats?" you poke the skin at her arms, "with these muscles i assume?" (it was SO funny and adorable in the ready to be tw-log finale ep when jeongyeon was poking at sana saying how she has zero arm muscles)

she's pulling away from you with a pout and a whine on her lips before her gaze darkens and she says somberly, "i have a car."

you laugh seriously then, a big hearty laugh as your head falls to her shoulder, and she's whining and trying to pull you up. you're so grateful for her.

eventually you come up, wiping at your eyes and catching your breath, "well i'm glad i have someone who'd commit manslaughter for me."

she's pouting adorably and you get a sudden rush of want, and you blush, scrambling away, wondering why the fuck you just thought about how easy it'd be to kiss the pout off your best friend's lips.

sana's confused and pulling you back into her, "what's wrong? where’re you going?"

you come up with the quickest excuse you can think of, "gonna puke."

she yelps and quickly opens the car door, almost falling out in her rush to avoid being covered in sick. you're out the door in seconds, heaving in the fresh air and shivering slightly at the cold, hoping it'll at least cool down the heat in your cheeks.

then you're giggling, and then laughing again, turning back to face her look of disgust. her face morphs as she watches you though, and soon enough she's doubled over laughing as well.

to anyone driving past, you'd both look insane, laughing at absolutely nothing. but to you, you've never felt more free, more relieved. you're safe, and okay, and you're favourite person in the whole world is here with you. you collapse onto the hood of her car, and she follows suit, giggling and breathy.

the two of you lay here, looking up into the night sky, counting the stars. you shiver slightly and move closer towards her until your bodies are touching. she's turning slightly, wrapping an arm around your waist loosely, and watching you watch the stars.

you turn to face her, breaths mingling, coming out in wispy white clouds of heat in the chilly night air. you find your eyes dropping to her mouth again, and you can't hide the blush that adorns your face this time. if you'd just leaned in a little more, you'd be able to answer the burning question in your head of what exactly sana tasted like.

the slight quiver in her lower lip entrances you, the soft breaths she's taking as her warmth fans over your face, smelling of jasmine and the toothpaste she’s used just before bed. you're inching closer and closer, her eyes are on your lips as well.

you lose it though, when a tongue peeks out and licks across her bottom lip, and you're pressing your lips against hers softly, eyes closed, and humming at the warmth she provides.

she's kissing you back gently, lips slotting against yours in the perfect way, and then she's gone, pulling away leaving you chasing after her, but she places a hand on your chest, pushing you back lightly.

"you're drunk. and taken. this is wrong."

you whine, trying to pull her back to you but she's firm, sitting up and walking away.

you're blinking and what the fuck just happened? dazed as you stand up as well, moving back into the passenger seat dumbly, peeking at her expression trying to get a sense of what was going on inside her mind.

she starts the engine and pulls out from the kerb, staring straight ahead, giving you nothing.

you can't help but think you've fucked everything up again.

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

the storm brewing inside your head doesn't stop when she pulls into your driveway and parks.

you muster up the courage to apologise but she beats you to it, "i'm sorry y/n. i shouldn't have done that. can we just forget it about it please? i don't want to ruin anything between us. you're the most important person in the world to me and i can't lose you over these stupid feelings and i'm so sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable at all i-"

your inebriated mind is playing catch up, rolling her words in your head over and over again trying to figure out why that sounded like she was saying she had feelings for you? that couldn't be right. sana was the it girl. she was the girl that everyone wanted. she was the girl that sat through your nerdy rants about space and eels. the girl that bought you ice cream when your first boyfriend broke up with you in grade 3 because he didn't like the way you cut your hair. the girl that cried when she found out you weren't going to the same high school because you were moving away, but then managed to get her parents to enroll her anyway and spent the next 6 years taking the 2 hour commute to school just to be with you.

and holy shit. sana was in love with you.

"sana..." you interrupted her rambling, "i... i kinda have a massive headache right now and i'm more than a little drunk but… this isn't going to change our friendship at all."

her eyes are wide and shining, looking at you in fear, you grab her hands and squeeze them over the console, "i promise i'm not leaving you but i don't want to give you an answer yet when i'm in this state. but if it helps, i'm pretty sure i'm the one that kissed you first." you grin, and she lets out a shaky breath.

you let go of her hands and shyly rub the back of your neck, "i kinda need to get inside and get clean but i'll call you tomorrow if that's okay?"

she's nodding, wiping at her eyes hastily.

you open the door and step out, closing it softly behind you. but you lean back down and gesture for her to roll down the window which she does.

"and sana... thank you for tonight. seriously. i don't know how i can ever show you how grateful i am for you being there."

she purses her lip and is firm again, "stop it. i'm glad i was there. and thankyou for letting me be there for you."

you smile gently as you wave and head towards your door, she waits for you to get inside and the door to shut before she pulls out and drives home, heart thumping, thoughts messy.

࿐ ࿔*: ☽･ﾟ

you wake up in the morning with a pounding headache, stumbling to your kitchen to pop a few painkillers and squinting as you adjust to the morning sunlight spilling through your windows.

thank god you remembered everything that happened last night, you set your lips in a line as you got ready. you had a strict plan for today, and nothing was going to ruin it.

you quickly get dressed, thumbing out a small letter and grab your keys, driving over to marshall's house was step one.

once you arrive, you slam your car door loudly, taking satisfaction in the fact it probably woke him in his self-induced hangover he was no doubt soothing. you stalk up his front door, rapping on the wood loudly and tapping your foot impatiently as you wait for him to open the door.

it's not him though, and you scoff at the sight of a half naked girl, probably barely legal, pushing her aside despite her weak protests, and letting yourself into the space.

you storm up to his room, flinging open the door, grabbing the vase next to the bed, and dumping the water all over his sleeping head.

he wakes up with a start, "WHAT THE FUC-"

you slap him across the face, bringing his attention to you, "we're done." two simple words and you're back out the door, going down the steps, and back into your car.

you're halfway down the street when you spot him in the rearview mirror clambering after you in his underwear, soaking and pathetic.

you can't believe you had stayed with that man for as long as you had.

the relief you feel after your first action of the day is freeing. you're chasing after the feeling you had last night when you were doubled over laughing like madmen with sana on the side of the road. adrenaline pumping as you pull up to your local florist, purchasing a big bouquet of pink hydrangeas and then grabbing 2 coffees and a few bakery goods, shoving everything back into your car and speeding away again.

you arrive at sana's front door in record time, knowing her, she was definitely awake already and probably anxiously waiting for you to call. you grin as you grab the flowers, the letter you wrote before you left the house, and the breakfast you've gotten for the both of you, placing it down on her front door mat and arranging everything nicely so it looked picture-worthy.

then you ring her doorbell and duck, running over to her side fence that you knew she always left unlocked, entering her house through the back door, and sneaking back towards the front.

sana's bent down over the flowers and you can see the slight crease between her eyebrows from her confusion as she reads the letter you've left in the middle of the hydrangeas.

i'm sure you don't need me to tell you what pink hydrangeas represent because you're a huge flower nerd and i love that about you but i'm going to write it out anyway to show you i did the research.

in japan, hydrangeas are used to show you're sorry. and i'm sorry for not realising sooner, for letting you suffer for so long on your own. they also represent heartfelt emotions and gratitude. i'm eternally grateful for you sana. you're the most important person in the whole world to me too. i'd also commit manslaughter for you.

in europe, hydrangeas mean vanity and arrogance. i'm sorry i was so self-involved with my stupid boyfriends. to tell you the truth, i always thought you were too good for me, and that you'd realise that one day and leave, so i clung to anyone i could find, waiting in fear of that day. that was selfish of me, and i see that now, because you could never leave someone you love. because i realised i feel the same way about you, and i could never, never leave you.

pink hydrangeas are the most romantic of the bunch. (they’re also your favourite colour) i'm obviously trying to tell you that i love you too in a more than platonic way. and this time i'm not drunk or hyperemotional, i'm certain.

you silently creep up behind her while she's reading your note, and then grab her waist lifting her up into the air as she squeals, turning her in your arms and planting your lips on hers.

she's caught by surprise, lips unmoving against yours, until she realises it's you and wraps her legs around your waist, arms around your neck, and kisses you back.

you can finally taste her. and there's no way to describe it. you don't know why it took you so long to realise your feelings for her, but you'd never felt the way you feel about her for anyone else. you'd chalked that up to being best friends and that that's the way all best friends feel about each other, but best friends don't sigh into kisses. best friends don't feel like their hearts would explode with each soft press of skin against each other. best friends don't love each other the way you loved sana.

you break away when you feel wetness glide along your cheek, and salt touch the tip of your tongue. "sana?! oh my god i'm so sorry, i shouldn't- i should've asked first- oh shit i'm so-"

she's chuckling brokenly and you can't tell if she's laughing or crying or both but she pulls you back in, melding your lips together again speaking against your mouth, "i'm sorry. i'm just so happy right now."

you smile against her, kissing her again, you think you'll never be able to get enough of this feeling. "i'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up."

you feel her laugh against you, "i'm just glad you've still got some love saved for me."

"always." kiss. "it's all for you from now. i love you."

"i love you too idiot."

[hearts4golbach]

could you write something about reader and johnnie related to the line 'he love me but he fucks me like he hates my guts' from the song yummy? ty 💕💕

Tease.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

warnings: use of ma, baby, mama, love, babe, slut, cheating, rough sex, unprotected sex (please use protection lol), overstimulation, implied hair pulling.

third person.

Johnnie had never thought of you as anything more than his best friend. maybe he had thought about you late at night, biting his tongue so as not to wake up jake in the room over, but never past that. he had always shooed away the thought, anyway.

ever since his past girlfriend, he had refused to ever think of another person romantically. although, he had acknowledged from time to time how funny, kind, and beautiful you were. he admired you in a friend way, he told himself.

although, whenever you had posted a selfie laying in your bed in the cutest outfit he had ever seen, it made him rethink your relationship.

he thought about the way your face lit up brighter than the sun when you saw him and the way your hand would purposefully graze him every chance you got. how could he be so oblivious? he began to think as his feelings for you grew.

you never seemed to mention other guys until you did. it was late at night whenever you had walked into johnnies room and asked him for advice. you wanted to know how to respond to a flirty text some random guy on instagram had sent, you explained. You thought he was cute and lived just a city over. this infuriated johnnie, as his feelings had been brewing for about 3 months now.

it didn't help that he got to see you every day, not that he was complaining, but it was torture. he frequently thought of you in your booty shorts and oversized band t-shirt early in the morning, making breakfast. or the slutty dresses youd wear to parties every other weekend. dont even get him started on the rhinestone belts you incorporated into every outfit. you had one in every different color, and he believed it was the cutest thing, your little addiction to them. it became too much to bear, and he frequently considered pouring his heart out to you. but he never did. things were going well with the other guy, and all he wanted was for you to be happy.

first person.

"Why are we even hanging all of this up? everyone is gonna be too drunk to notice, anyway." i complained, my arms beginning to ache as i held the decorations of choice to the wall while johnnie pinned them.

he shrugged, his eyes trailing down my body as i stretched. "cause were cool."

"i guess," i sighed, "im so worried, the guy I've been talking to is coming tonight." truth was, i could give a fuck less about that guy. yeah, he was sweet, but he wasn't johnnie. he wasn't anywhere close to being as prefect as johnnie was.

i looked into his eyes, praying he would beg me to uninvite him and be his, but that didn't happen. "Don't be, you'll be good," he responded nonchalantly before turning away to go put up valuables in the house that could be broken.

i stared at him for a moment before turning around and tending to my own work.

"Do you think this dress is okay?" i asked frantically.

"y/n, people are about to start showing up, and you're still trying to get dressed -" johnnie began to scold as he turned around.

his face flushed as he admired me in the dress. his eyes hesitated, staring at the slit in the dress that revealed my thigh and how the cut of the dress complimented my cleavage. he stayed silent.

"...so?" i asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"yeah, its whatever. its good." he brushed me off, going to unlock the door.

i hated how much he acted like he didn't care. i rolled my eyes and walked back to my room to put my shoes on. even though it was my own house, i didn't want anyone looking at my feet, of course. i put on my comfiest pair of heels and went to grab the drinks from the kitchen. i organized them on the table, setting out the plastic cups. i felt an arm wrap around my waist as a presence moved next to me.

"hey, its good to see you." the guy from instagram whispered in my ear. i leaned into his touch, ignoring the growing ache in my heart. "you look stunning."

"Thank you," i smile, "it's good to see you, too." This was only the second time we had ever seen each other in person.

i heard johnnie laughing behind me, presumably speaking to jake. i glanced behind me to see him leaning on the counter. he looked at me at the exact same time. He held his breath as his eyes ran over every part of me before turning his attention back to jake.

i sighed, "you wanna go dance?" i asked, hoping he'd say yes and hoping johnnie would hate it.

his eyes shined with lust, "Of course."

i grabbed his hand and dragged him into the other room, making sure we were still in johnnies vision. the guys hands moved to my hips immediately, pulling me onto him. my eye twitched with anger. i hoped it would work. i hoped and prayed johnnie would give in and make me his, so i had a reason to end this situationship. distractions weren't working anymore.

i kept my eyes on johnnie as he turned to watch. his eyebrows scrunched together whenever he saw the way i was pressed into the guy. his hand gripped the cup tighter, his knuckles turning white. i held eye contact the whole time, my gaze never leaving his as our movements became more sexual.

johnnie turned back to jake, saying something before setting his cup down and walking over to me. "can i steal you for a second?"

"Sure, bro," the guy said, taking his hands off of me and letting me walk away with johnnie.

"what, johnnie?" i groan, "im just trying to have fun."

he pushed me into my room and shut the door behind us and locked it. "what the fuck do you think youre doing?"

"what do you mean?" my heart raced.

"You know exactly what you're doing." he whispered in my ear, his pale arms snaked around me and grabbed my hips. "You've been teasing me for so long."

he pulled me closer. i pressed my hands against his chest. "really? what makes you say that?" i taunted.

"Those tiny jean shorts you wear around the house. you never wear them out, so i know they're for me. and those studded belts you always wear that somehow make your body even sexier than it already is." his hands slid down my thighs and pulled up my dress. it bunched around my waist as he squeezed my ass. "you really think i dont notice all the slutty little things you do?"

i bit my lip, feeling his nails digging into my flesh. "i was hoping you did. ive wanted you for so long."

"me too, mama." he replied before crashing his lips onto mine.

the kiss was rough and needy. he pressed me against the wall, his hands dragging up my body to my tits. he squeezed and pawed at them, not bothering to be gentle. i let out a soft moan on his lips. i felt him grow harder through his jeans as he pressed into me. i began to pull off of his shirt, immediately returning to the kiss as it landed on the floor. he wrapped his hand around my neck, squeezing gently. our teeth occasionally clashed as we tried to take as much of each other as possible.

he lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist before bringing me to the bed. he tossed me down on my back before crawling on top of me. his mouth found the soft spot on my neck, biting and sucking until dark hickeys covered my neck and chest. he pulled the top of my dress down, revealing my bare chest.

he hummed, "god, you're so beautiful." he murmured before taking my nipple into his mouth. his tongue swirled over the bud, sucking gently. i moaned and arched my back, grinding onto his buldge.

"fuck, johnnie, let me have you." i pleaded, beginning to unbuckle his pants.

"Yes, ma'am." he complied, pulling his pants and boxers down around his ankles. his hard dick sprung out of his jeans.

i hissed, "shit."

johnnie slipped his middle and ring finger in my mouth. "Spit, baby." i did as he told, licking his fingers before spitting on them. my gaze never left his. i watched as lust overtook his eyes. "Good girl."

he rubbed my spit on his cock, wincing slightly as the friction. his slender fingers slipped through the lace strap of my underwear, pulling them down. i choked out curses as the cold air hit my pussy.

"god, youre fucking soaked." he smriked, "youre going to do so good for me, ma."

he gripped my hips, aligning his tip with my entrance before slowly sliding his cock inside of me. my mouth fell ajar as a soft moan escaped my lips. he bottomed out, giving me a moment to adjust to his size. my walls squeezed his cock, sending shivers through my body.

"fuck," he choked out, "are you okay?" he checked, running his hand over my cheek and pulling on my bottom lip.

i nodded quickly, wrapping my legs around his waist. his fingers intertwined with mine, putting one hand above my head. his other stayed on my hip, gripping so tightly i figured there'd be bruises in the morning. he began to thrust slowly, taking his time with me.

"I've wanted to feel you for so long," he muttered on my lips before kissing me softly. "god, youre so perfect. do you think you can take me, babe?"

i hesitated before nodding. "yes, oh my- please."

he moved his hand, so he had a firm hold on my hips. speeding up his pace, he whispered sweet nothings under his breath. "That's it, baby." his hand flew to my clit, rubbing circles.

my back arched slightly as i threw my head back. he took that to his advantage, his cock driving further into me. "Oh, shit." i moaned, placing my hand on his chest. "johnnie, i-i can't.."

"Yes, you can, love. i believe in you." his eyebrows furrowed. "im not done with you, yet."

i nodded, letting pleasure take over my body. moans and curses flowed out of my mouth. his pace was relentless. my mind was fuzzy, and i couldn't form any words besides his name. i moaned his name loud, forgetting other people could hear.

"you arent worried about your little boyfriend hearing you?" he chuckled in between pants, "youre such a slut, i love it."

"only you," i repeated, "only for you."

"That's my girl," he slammed my g-spot over and over as a knot began to form in my stomach. "youre mine."

i nodded eagerly, "'m gonna cum, baby."

"Me too, where do you want me?" he asked breathlessly. his thrusts became sloppy.

"inside. im on the pill," i moaned out, louder than i was expecting.

"i fucking love you." his raspy voice responded. "cum with me, mama."

his thumb met my clit again as my walls milked his cock, taking every last drop of his cum inside. my orgasm took over my body, making me go limp.

he kissed my forehead. "god, you're amazing," he flipped me over so i was bending over the bed, "give me one more."

all i could do was nod as i was still recovering from my previous orgasm. without warning, he was inside of me again, his quick pace never faltering.

my moans became high-pitched. the overstimulation was a mix of pain and pleasure. his fingers tangled in my hair, pushing my head down into the bed as he hit a different angle inside of me. his other hand gripped my ass as low whimpers slipped from his lips.

"fuck, i love you so much." his sweet words contradicting his actions. i tried to say it back, but it came out unintelligible. he stopped thrusting, balls deep inside of me. "use your words, baby."

"fuck, i love you." i grinded my ass into his hips, "i love you so much."

his cock began to drill into me again as i felt the knot in my stomach tighten again. "You close?" i moaned out in agreement. "Me too,"

my second orgasm hit me like a truck at the same time his did. johnnie collapsed onto the bed next to me. "we'll go shower when everyone leaves." he said breathlessly. i nodded in agreement. i laid my head on his chest and knocked the fuck out.

[fagcifer]

[come around. sped up] pulling the tape measure with my eyes closed to pull out a ridiculous length and girth, and assign that as ciels dick size. i want it to tear through sams stomach and up his throat actually. i want to kill sam one way or another after all^^

anyways, an alternative universe idea that ive poured my night and days over, only to never fucking draw it again ??!??!?!?!?1

hi chat its another sam post, again. im getting bashful posting about him. like... thats my wife chat... this is rather intimate (*´▽｀*) /silly.

for someone who particularly enjoys looking at shoes, i sure as hell dont draw them much.

i left their plot vague for a few reasons; wiggle room and potential to add more. its mostly just going to be cool tropes i saw and liked. nothing will be too set in stone, more so a common theme that might reoccur every now and then.

basic premise of the au that vaguely follows the 'canon', urrrr;

samael volkov, mid 30s, calm and collected, doesnt tolerate rudeness. french-slavic and a normal human. smokes, and drinks socially. cold hands.

ciel, looks to be in his mid 20s. one hell of a drinker but never seems to get drunk and never fail to make a disgusted expression whenever he sips on his alcohol. dont act human very well.

ciel frequents the bar that sam works at, usually with a dark expression on his face; a tick in his jaw and furrowed brows. sams bar, [punny name here], just so happens to be where a lot of stubborn souls running away from death tends to flee to. Last drink before death eat them alive or whatever.

ciel and sam became reluctant acquaintances simply because sam was trying to keep track of the patron that often took a tipsy person home, only for said person to be declared missing and presumed dead. only the lucky(?) few made it out alive, a former shell of themselves.

sam surprisingly didnt tip the police about ciel ,but its not like they could do anything either— they seem to be rather tight-lipped with the disappearances in the area. thats what got ciel curious about sam.

wanted to make tipping a thing, but it doesnt make sense anywhere else that paid their employees livable wage. but tipping is always nice! (additionally, the setting could be in canada. since to my understanding, theres a good population of french speaking people and the other let them. and its cold too.)

(nevermind, tipping is a thing but frown upon by businesses. its as if the customers are implying that they arent paying their employees enough, hence the tipping— a fun dynamic, i thunk!)

i did make sams design intentionally bland. the piercings were purely self-indulgent, i really wanted to fuck his ears. believe me when i say that i wanted to incorporate the red stripes from his original design but it was too flashy for what i had in mind.

derailing here, but i do plan to eventually draw a reimagined design for btd2 sam and zeitgeist sam. though he probably wouldnt be blue since ciel is already navy blue. blue on blue cannibalism. the designs wont be anything too remarkable or unique, im not creative.

never saw a tweet, pointed and barked this loudly in excitement before. thats how much i like the tweet, sowwy💔

initially ciel was supposed to have a more cryptid/entity like feel too him, but i got carried away??? who wouldve thunk. but then again, i draw on a whim without any firm planning, so its only natural to get completely off topic. rather telling of me, but anyways.

jumpscare !!!!! close-ups because i think theyre cute＼(^_^)／

he looks just like his fucking dad, im going to throttle them both with my own wimpy hands💔💔💔

i make life so damn difficult for myself. theres no absolutely no reason other than swag to give them hair like that. drawing and colouring is already difficult enough, imagine making dolls out of them💔💔💔

[mamasech]

Truten fic WIP

[I’m getting back into writing and I’ve been working on a Truten fanfic. I want to post it already but it’s not done so here’s a teaser. Set in Age 796.]

Trunks stretched as he tossed his pen onto the desk, glancing at the clock. Jeez, when did it get so late? He rubbed his face with one hand and reached for his phone.

-9 new messages-

Goten was going out to a party and had begged Trunks to come along. Some other time, had been Trunks’ response. He had too much work to catch up on and he wasn’t really a big drinker. He never really allowed himself the time to and he didn’t like wasting a day recovering when he could be doing something productive.

Trunks tapped on the notification to open the texts from Goten.

[7:24pm] bro im telling u this party is gonna be rad u cant miss it

[7:24pm] we never get a chance to go out come onnnn

[8:17pm] oh shit I think I just saw ur sister

[8:18pm] wait nvm not her lmao

[9:51pm] hey u big nerd thers arm wrstling come fihjt me likea man

[10:09pm] [video message]

[10:12pm] HSJAGSHSHAHSJAH SJE FUCKN DROPPED HIS ASSDSD

[10:26pm] poopin wyd

[10:31pm] truuuuuuuuuuuuunk

Trunks smiled and rolled his eyes. Tapping on the video, it opened to a close-up of Goten’s face. His expression was relaxed and bearing a dopey grin. The camera swayed and bobbed as he spoke loudly over the music.

You’re never gonna believe it. Look what I found. The frame shifted to the side to reveal Bulla mirroring Goten’s expression. Her cheeks were flushed and she smiled widely before poking her tongue out at the phone.

Hey loserrrrr. She giggled and Goten pointed the camera back to himself, beginning to taunt. Ohhhhhh! You gonna take that bro? What you gonna do huh? Whatcha gonna dooo? Bulla patted Goten’s shoulder and turned to approach the group behind them. He watched her go for a moment, then turned back to his phone.

Nah but for reals you should come hang this party’s great I think it would be good for you yeah? I think so. I’m glad we agree so I’ll see you soon. Behind him, Bulla seemed to be getting into a heated argument with a guy. Goten continued his drunk rambling at his phone.

If I don’t see you here in five minutes I’m gonna fly over there and drag you back here and you’re gonna get drunk with me and it’s gonna be- He cut himself off and turned sharply to the commotion behind him.

Oh shit, Bulla’s gonna fight this guy I gotta see this. Hurry your ass up bro- Goten stumbled onto his feet and turned his attention to the gathering group of people.

Oy let me ref, let me ref- The video ended abruptly on a blurred image of half of Goten’s head.

Trunks groaned as he dropped his phone, kneading his eyes with the heels of his palms. Bulla was still underage. He wasn’t sure what his parents would think if they knew about her sneaking out. Vegeta was always protective of her but also knew she could hold her own. Bulma might have stopped her from going, out of principle. But if she found out Trunks knew about this and didn’t do anything, it would be his ear that would get chewed off. Trunks let out a sigh and got up to fetch his jacket.

[To be continued…]

[0scill4te]

.

The line between delusion and paranoia seems to be a very blurry one. i guess its a delusion when you believe it is ACTUALLY for certain 100% that it is actually happening and nothing else can prove otherwise.

i dont know though. can someone just genuinely be aware they are delusional? Simutaneously be scared its real while deep down you know your brain is just kind of crazy and prone to these things for whatever reason? Things like believing you are being keylogged by friends or coworkers? Or that someone deceased (that you knew) is watching you and reading your mind? Or thinking that whenever you chat with someone online, if you share art with them, they will use google to reverse search it and find you on other social media, so you end up deleting the art in fear? Shit like that. I know thats all crazy but for whatever reason I go through phases sometimes where I genuinely believe in these intricate, outlandish, unrealistic things and drug use always worsens it, Im not gonna lie. its why i try so hard to not let myself slip into daily use because its admittedly very easy too- drugs soften life a lot. But it also makes me really lose touch with reality more easily and its not good

I genuinely dont know. i still don't understand what was going on with me in august bc thats when i really reached a bad peak. Its what prompted me to delete my old blog even, i was having unfounded surveillance based fears (ex: thinking one specific coworker was stalking me online?) and felt like people were conspiring against me

i feel more normal these days. but i feel like it could happen again, and it does scare me. Life in general feels weird and I feel like my blog probably reflects that even. I try to contain all the weirdness to myself and not broadcast it so much. I private post most things.i want my blog to be a place where i can be genuine. But obviously oversharing in a public setting comes with its downfalls. I genuinely do feel like a "kooky" person.. like. Kind of ill, not all there sometimes.

I think I really just need to talk to my T. I get mini "hallucinations" too and everything in general just isnt feeling right, even vision wise. Things will feel okay for a few weeks then I slip into these headspaces and its confusing because its like.. maybe the "hallucinations" are merely a bottom-up processing issue, you know? like my brain falsely interpretting stimuli in my environment incorrectly. Iike I will see a cat for a split second but no, its just a towel on the ground. A disconnect between your eyes and your brain correctly interpretting the stimuli. Is that even a thing? I feel like it has to be. Occipital lobe stuff maybe, Idk.

But some things are just unexplainable. Like in the winter, I saw a mouse at my job crawl up the wall and slip inside this hole, and to this day still dont know if it was real or not. Because im so detached, it felt really fast and weird and dream-like, can mice even climb up walls that fast? When i was drunk recently with my roommate i saw an apparition in the kitchen in the corner of my eye, but only for a split second. And in July, i was high and saw an officer outside my fwbs car window , in great detail- a stern old man with a dark blue cap and I JUMPED. i was fucking terrified, it felt so real. I thought we were gonna get in trouble for trespassing. but a split second later, the cop was gone- aka not real.. no cop was there.

my therapist told me use less weed a few months ago and i think shes right- ive actively been trying to use it less and not daily anymore. I think I should see an optician to rule out if the "hallucinations" are maybe just a weird vision or brain thing. It could be a nutrient thing too- my vision in general feels.. weird. I feel like I sound like a hypochondriac with all of this but things just genuinely feel off and weird sometimes. Idk how to fix it and i always wonder if its normal or not but im terrified to get help for this stuff because its really weird and im scared doctors dont actually want to help and find the actual issue, they'll just label the vision stuff as a mental illness thing and throw antipsychotic meds at me.

[pinkcannibal]

not to be insane (lying) but 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 possesive mari 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 some other rando talking to you? her huffing and making sure to sidle up to you and snaking HER arm into your waist and giving you a kiss :3

a guy mistakenly flirting with you? oh honeyyyyyy once you get home her being deranged in claiminh you in all the ways that matter. and you being oblivious abt being hit on YET enjoying the ride.... on god i just want a deranged marilyn giving me all the hickeys and marks and writing all over my body frfr

oh my god im so sorry i only just saw this but EXAAACTLY. i actually need more possessive marilyn in the fic, considering the last time she was so protective like this was w tyler!!

thinking abt putting a scene post chap 23 of reader sneaking out to a club?? bc marilyn's acting cagey and aloof with reader now after wednesday's confrontation. so readers like fuck it i need to get drunk/high and im not telling marilyn abt it. which, of course, marilyn knows where she is 24/7 anyways so its like reader WANTS to be caught, wants to be punished just to have her attention.

and its just, reader unknowingly being hit on by a bunchhhh of dykes, some even older too, which really just sets marilyn off specifically. i think it would be so sexy to explore how possessive and territorial marilyn would get knowing reader has been letting other women flirt with her, maybe even smelling like them with how close they get to her. or, reader goading a reaction by saying things like: "are you mad, mari? god, im just ruined now, huh? mommy's perfect dolly all marked up bc they got so close to me" and it would definitely end in marilyn completely overtaken with the need to mark whats hers in a sense, like readers words would almost send marilyn into a blind rage. when they're home its The most intense punishment/sex/dumbed down state readers ever been in <33

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 14

Oh so the new time machine sent her back to exactly the same point that the first one did. I wonder if this means there are set points in time that she has to travel to.

And now we've got shenanigans with identical red envelopes that they both dropped. Excellent.

It's just occurred to me that in the previous episode when Im Sol was drunk and crying I just assumed it was because Sunjae was dead, but she had already fixed things at that point so she was crying because he doesn't know her now. THEY FOOLED ME!

Aww it's like the early episodes before I found out Sunjae had been secretly in love with Im Sol the whole time

Is Sunjae an actor now instead of an idol? If so I think I see where this is going...

Oh nooooooo has she just sent Im Sol's script to Sunjae by mistake? So I saw where it was going but also not really because I did not expect this!

Not surprised Sunjae is crying. I am also crying.

Well now he's definitely going to do it out of spite

Aww even in a universe where he never met Im Sol as a teen he still sucks at dating other people

Aww they're at the same bar that they went to in the other timeline

This is actually a role reversal of the early episodes where this time he thinks she hates him when actually she's been in love with him this whole time. God, I love this drama.

Never over how people in kdramas wear sweaters and hoodies to sleep in. Is it just because the sets are cold?

Well now I'm depressed. The actor they described as being super old was only born a year before me 😭

She's still answering calls from numbers she doesn't know I see

I love that he's gone from 'she'd better hope I never see her again' to 'I'm going to tell her to her face that I don't want to do her movie' to 'PLEASE LET ME DO IT I'LL WORK FOR FREE 🥺'

Well it's nice that in this timeline he has no self-respect when it comes to her either. Boy is whipped no matter what universe he's in.

Because that is a core part of his personality

Oh no! Of course he's still around. He really is like the terminator! And now he's going to kidnap and murder the stalker girl because Im Sol wasn't at Sunjae's apartment to catch her and take her out for dinner

Aww grandma wandered off and found Sunjae's dad

Oh, I guess Sunjae is still an idol. But a soloist instead of the singer in a band?

Oh, I guess the stalker got away? Unless this is a different woman.

Aww look he's smitten already

Ooh is he starting to remember the other timelines?

How does she not recognise him? They literally watched him present an award on tv a few days ago.

I keep forgetting that grandma in her lucid moments knows exactly what's going on

Oh, good, she did escape

I feel like Taesung might actually catch this dude and do it properly. He seems a lot more efficient than his dad. Also, there's only 2 eps left so someone has to get him soon

Ohhh! Is that the winning lottery ticket? I had forgotten about Im Sol giving her brother the winning numbers

LOL I was just tagging this post and

None of my other liveblogs have shown up as a popular tag wtf

[matcha-lemonade-enthusiast]

i’m going to give a comprehensive list of songs that hit way too hard for me or that i cry to, because im little lonely (only child syndrome) and have no one else to tell 😁.

Liability by Lorde

i so vividly remember listening to this song for the first time, and it was like someone put how i felt every single fucking day into a song. i just felt like a huge burden to everyone and everything. especially since i had to whole sad clown thing going on (being the life of the party and silly until i had to be apart from anything that happily distracted me). so many nights were spent laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling, or sobbing in a dark closet to that song. thanks lorde 😍! (/s)

Stay by Post Malone

by far one of the most embarrassing songs on this list 😭. sorry unfortunately i dabble in hating mainstream artists (particularly yt men). however, an old friend of mine showed me this song as one of her fave sad songs to cry to, and i was like thanks im stealing this for my playlist 😁. once again just a song that put my thoughts into words (omg i love art), and i really just needed someone to hug me and tell me everything would be okay. also strangely, it’s a great song for if you’ve had a rocky relationship with your mom or anyone you love so deeply you’d do anything for but shit happens and you both fumble the ball, so now everyone is pissed off. like post simultaneously asking someone to (hopefully figuratively)put their cigarette out on his face, but also stick around for him and love him and tell him everything is okay? yeah real.

I’m Not A Mountain by Sarah Kinsley

fully almost cried when i saw/heard this live, because Sarah almost cried. *defeated* yeah. just another lonely girl who can’t set a boundary to save her life so she runs from her problems and has a sharp tongue song. i’ve said things that i didn’t mean out of anger and so deeply regret because i caused a friendship to end. i have people i (sort of) want a relationship with that i can’t get back because i’ve learned too much and im living in the past in some ways (rightfully so imo) (yes im contradicting myself ik). but yeah sometimes i wish i was a mountain too.

Last Time We Never Meet Again by Sarah Kinsley

sarah kinsley you will always be famous.

but fr this song was simultaneously a swift kick to the gut, but also a breath of fresh air. i was fresh off of calling it quits with a guy (like a month lol), and i had a lot of firsts with him (first serious relationship, first music festival, first time traveling without family, etc) not s*x though someone else beat him to it lmao.) so basically i was ranting to my mom and friends about him and everything i didn’t like that he did, because everything around me reminded me of him and it PISSED ME OFF to no end. then this album (Escaper) dropped (thank god), and once again this song was just everything i felt. like i can’t stand you, i never want to see you again, but hope everything works out how you want it to (im not a monster guys cmon). he called me tho like last week to make small talk and then ask me questions about his personality and stuff. so then that re-pissed me off bc i deleted his number while i was drunk on vacation, and i don’t follow him on anything anymore like pls take a hint.

Casual by Chappell Roan

self-explanatory.

Magnolia by Laufey

let me preface this by being a butthole and let everyone know how cool i am, because i was into laufey before she was uber famous. like im talking tickets to her show were $30. anyways!

basically a girl strung me along, and then left me for a mid yt man 😁. this song was there for me when i was too embarrassed to tell my friends what happened. didn’t cry, but definitely gazed out of my window on a rainy day and listened to the song on repeat for an hour or two (yes this is a part of my villain origin story) (yes i know im a terrible villain fr, more sad and lazy than vengeful)

Baby by Brittany Howard

feeling like i wasn’t enough and didn’t measure up (especially romantically)

Sullen Girl by Fiona Apple

my mom actually played an old fiona apple cd for me while we packed up our house to move. this song really stuck with me bc that whole summer (‘22) was a blur. the second half of the song genuinely sent me into shock because it gave me war flashbacks of childhood trauma that i try to repress 😍. then my mom told me, she pictured me as the sullen girl during my lowest moments and i cried and we hugged.

Cellophane by FKA Twigs

self-explanatory. especially if you’ve seen anania’s tiktoks to this song (doing mundane tasks, deadpan thousand yard stare, and this song blaring). i feel the same way girl, me too. also that music video is literally stunning.

Prey by The Neighborhood

ahhh an old classic. honestly the whole Wiped Out! album is good to cry to but this is a personal favorite. sobbed for two hours then fell asleep because why not. i felt like a waste of space that couldn’t do anything right (i still feel like that sometimes). you are so right jesse rutherford i do feel like something is wrong (i have extreme anxiety, everything feels off and i will freak out at any moment) i feel like prey (i will be chastised and ostracized the moment i do something wrong, and everyone is watching, also i was unmedicated).

okay besties this was a really short little playlist and long thoughts i randomly wanted to get out. thanks for letting me be annoying and reading 😍 (i say to my 5 followers, 2 of which are bots)

[macbethz]

To answer your questions I mostly talk with people under their posts or tell my buisness through the ask feature because when I post nobody see it fr.

To tell you a bit about my life my mom’s a meth head who used to be a landlord but she can’t do it no more, so I took over for her. And my dad died a few years back and left me a couple bucks so I bought a strip Club with a buddy. He handles the people shit and I mostly deal with the documents and such. These are the only ways I’m able to work because I got issues and I can’t handle people, I’ll break everyone’s teeth if I get mad so I need a job where I’m not interacting with nobody.

Before I got a job that’s good for my situation I had hard times. Lost my girlfriend over some petty shit. I got top from a buddy of mine, I’m not attracted to him, I’m completely straight, just wanted top. She was okay with it until she saw him, said he was “too hot” crazy statement. He’s 5 foot pushing 350 so idk why she thinks that but she did. So we broke up. I went on a coke bender and broke in a local restaurant, set it on fire, was drunk, and then was shitfaced during my mugshot. I’m doing better now

Did a hit and run because I had a seizure while driving and I know if I report it they’ll take my license from me and I need it. They was fine btw he walked it off

My bio is a bit about me and I don’t support agriculture because it fucking pisses me off I don’t know imma keep it a hunnid I don’t fw farmers.

Really love this ask. the completely unprompted gay sex confession is probably my favorite part and im glad i got the height and weight of the guy so i can really picture the situation. still dont quite understand the farmer thing or how you got to my blog but thats ok. glad youre doing better <3

[incensemaniac]

this is irrelevant to everything i post on here but i am in the mood to slag off some movies so here's every movie on the first page of the letterboxd romance comedy list that i have seen and have thoughts about. i left out a couple like princess diaries and big because girl those are not romance comedies in my eyes that is a princess movie and a movie about a guy that accidentally gets old and happens to find a girl along the way

anora : know a lot of you apparently didn't like it but i enjoyed thoroughly. saw it at a film festival and had a lot of fun. whatever. it's not a romantic comedy but i did laugh at some parts

500 days of summer: was one of my favourites for ages but then i watched it too many times so now it's redundant a bit. the pairing of joseph gordon levitt and zooey deschanel is perfect and crazy .! you don't want to know the me that i was when i was into this movie also not really a romantic comedy but i do see romance comedy so i'll let it slide

lost in translation: love this movie but not a romantic comedy so im not commenting

how to lose a guy in 10 days: overhyped. i wasn't rooting for them to end up together until like the last half hour and i found a lot of it really hard to get through. matthew mcconaughey is hot though #true

about time: i'm happy for you if this is your favourite but it isn't mine. it was sweet but nothing about it spoke to me

when harry met sally: people on twitter specifically love to call you insane and that you don't know about real love if you hate this movie and i didn't hate it but i just didn't care really. i hated the scene in katz though that's for sure .. and i've been to katz! once. but still! i've been!

13 going on 30: biased but my favourite. astronomical crush on mark ruffalo. manages to show me love and friendship and values and great fashion. watched many times and never gets old. i liked it ages before shein got a hold of the versace dress so don't start on me my friends can attest to my adoration of this film spanning a lifetime

notting hill: actually such fun.. i love julia roberts. i don't think i have ever caught the ending of the film but i enjoy regardless and i think that maybe it's because it's set in london and i am decidedly from there whether i like it or not

crazy stupid love: i rewatched this recently and it's kind of the best thing ever so silly and cute and dumb as hell.. love you ryan gosling #true

love actually: was my annual christmas movie pick for many years but i've really seen it too many times now and i'm sick of it. but i remember it fondly

pretty woman: i don't remember much about this other than the fact that i love julia roberts

licorice pizza: ughhhhhh such a good cast for such a subpar movie

silver linings playbook: kind of a really good movie even to this day but i do not consider it a romantic comedy .. i seem to be discovering the difference between romance comedy and romantic comedy. why not have two separate tags?

palm springs: really funny i love andy samberg and cristin milioti . i won't say underrated because everyone talks about it but i waws surprised by how funny i found it and how much fun i had watching it

the holiday: the replacement christmas watch .

crazy rich asians: the aeroplane watch. i've seen bits of it so many times why is it always on tv

punch drunk love: everyone loves this but i think i just don't like paul thomas anderson's vision because i didn't really get it

to all the boys i've loved before (all of them cause they're the same to me): just fine. like not as bad as the other netflix romance nonsense movies but not really good either. i was the target demographic when they released so i was into them then i suppose

bridget jones's diary: colin firth is the most charming man in the world

50 first dates: i was obsessed with this film when i was younger and yeah the comedy is stupid but i think that the message is really sweet

friends with benefits: ugly stupid and not funny

chef: this isn't a romantic comedy or a romance comedy this is a movie about a food truck

me earl and the dying girl: i watched this when it came out and i do not remember a single thing about it other than the fact that i saw it but i think it was good

love and other drugs: yeah i enjoyed. they need to start making romcoms again like why has the genre vanished kind of

sleepless in seattle: enjoyed. thought i was getting this mixed up with another tom hanks movie but no i was right i do remember it and it was very sweet

the big sick: i don't even remember watching this but apparently i did. that tells you all you need to know i think (just looked and i gave it 4 stars????)

bride wars: dumb but good for background. do not need full attention for this nonsense

rye lane: such a sweet promising new romantic comedy i really enjoyed it. sooo london too!

[talaxyan]

hello from 2023

hiiiiiii

it's so funny to think that all the posts from this tumblr are all just for me in the future but I hope it's gonna be another good reflection to see what I was like in the past.

but let me give you a little update since the last time I was here ((THERE WERE A LOT!!!))

ok first of all. im unemployed now, I graduated college 4 months ago and still haven't been able to land a job- I'm on my last round of interview for this pharmaceuticals company tho and I REALLY HOPE I GET THE JOB BECAUSE IM DESPERATEEEE. if I don't get an offer soon my OPT might expires meaning it'll be harder for me to escape indo.

as much as i love being at home and spending most days with my nieces and having no worry at all, I miss doing something intelligent like doing all the academic weapon I was supposed to be doing. it was hard landing a job yall, I swear I've applied to at least 400+ job but still 0 offer. IM REALLY HOPING THIS PHARMA JOB WORKS OUT I REALLY WANNA GO BACKKKKKK I wanna live in city I can wander around please

anyway, on the fun part ((my nonexistant love life))

in 2022, i went for a semester abroad in LONDON AND IT WAS WILDDDDD like really good experience and I love london so much I wish to go back there again and visiting my london fam innit- it was surprising really good like i had a solid friendgroup in just a month of settling down (shout out to SHAIMA LOVE U SO MUCH GURL) i went travelling to edinburg and Stonehenge. it was a surreal experience.

oh and i was on dating apps while in London and I got the taste of love (a little bit). my first ever date was really good, i'd give it 7/10 I wasn't that attracted to this dude but he was smart and caring at least before he became annoying and called me a self-obsessed girl- like dude HOW CANT I BE OBSESSED OVER MYSELFF? anyway I didn't continue talking to him because I really thought I should give an ugly guy a chance just bc he seems nice personally but he really wasn't so I went to 7 more dates after that--- ND I GOT MY FIRST EVER KISS??? LIKE HELLO? this dude I kissed, we met on tinder and I went to his place the night I first saw him and I gave him a glockglock3000 it was crazy-- but after that night I learnt why people like dick- and he got a pretty one too and it tasted sweet?????? maybe from the lube he was using but we didn't do the full thing cuz I was kinda hesitant cuz I BARELY KNOW HIM OFC??? but yea I learnt some things but my experience with men in general wasn't really working out bc ALL I WANT IS LOVE and it seems like u cant really find that on dating app.

other than that, i cut off some people from my life. it was sad but I think its about time. this girl I really wanted to befriend with since freshman year, we ended became bestie and even lived together in the apartment, but I think it was really toxic tbh- it think the more I knew people, the more I feel like I withdrew myself form them.thats kinda scared me because I really wanted to accept people the way they are but it was really not good having her around- for some reason in social settings, everytime I spent time wth her, it just irritaes me more and that made me realize that friendship wasn't supposed to be like that, it shouldn't cost you your mental health to be living with your friend so yeah, after graduation, I never contacted her and she also never contact me either so it's mutual I think

my time at skidmore was overall fun, I went to typical college parties, got drunk and wasted but it was all really fun. i love my girl friends my bbygurl I love them so much and they made my time at skidmore 100000x so much better. i would be a lot more miserable if it wasn't because of them. there was rough patches along the way but we are good friends so I was able to let go everything and keep our friendship eventho now w graduated and harder to see each other but I really hope to meet them again<3 I love them thao kim connie rebecca and my isu babies<3

my plan now is hoping i land that job in Boston > lease an apartment > fly from jakarta and meet natan > relocate to Boston and get my stuff at Uhaul in Albany > starting working and getting the sense of really world > SAVE A LOT OF MONEY SO I CAN SPOIL MY LOVED ONES AND MYSELF

i think i can do it. delusion is the key and I quite frankly believe in myself. i really hope so I wish.

so yeah, thats mostly the update from me. hopefully in the next post I can give you a better news and more GOOD STORY FROM MY LOVE LIFE yea. ok goodbye for now and I see u later

[rainbowpotatocakes21]

I didn’t know I needed a girl to waltz up place a drink in my hand and then lift it to my lips all while keeping eye contact but apparently I did bc it was hot as fuck

[ge0rg1ewaa]

"They set it up!" - Neymar jr

A/n : this is so confusing and idk if it makes sense. I just wanted to post something, anything. hope u still enjoy it :)

[Third person pov]

The smell of freshly prepared pasta wafted through the corridors of the apartment. The atmosphere was soothing with a blanket on the couch & a favorite movie on the TV. The setting sun and its last rays were the only thing that could be seen through the window.

Today was Y/n's day off and she decided not to bother going out, to be honest, she wasn't in the mood either. Yesterday, she broke up with her boyfriend of a year and a half because she found out he was cheating on her. She didn't do anything all day. In the morning she went out to do the shopping, but since then she has been at her place, reading the unfinished book and finishing watching the last few episodes of the series she has been bingeing on lately.

After pouring herself a portion of the pasta, she headed to the sofa, taking her phone from the charger. The girl had not yet checked her social media, her phone flooded with messages from Instagram, Twitter and Messenger. There was nothing interesting in the internet world. There were no dramas at the moment, or at least Y/n hadn't run into them. One of the messages was from her boyfriend well ex now, Neymar jr, and read 'I'm really sorry. I promise you, I haven't done anything. You know I would never touch anyone else expect you. I love you. Baby please answer me. ' and stuff like that, but Y/n just blocked him. Less than a minute later, her phone rang. As soon as she saw that it was Neymar, she let him ring, but as soon as she realized that he was not going to give up so easily, she picked up the phone, but remained silent, letting him speak.

"Hi meu amor. I know you are there, but you are silent because you want me to speak, so I will speak and tell you everything. The other night after we won the game we went out for a treat but we got drunk and I don't even know how I got home. I swear to god I don't know the girl who was next to me. They set it up! We haven't done anything, I promise you. I know the pictures you saw don't do justice to my words, but I have a video where she is paid to lie next to me half naked. I'll send it to you so you can make sure too. Eu te amo muito. Eu nunca faria algo assim para te machucar. Você significa muito para mim. [ I love you so much. I would never do anything like that to hurt you. You mean so much to me.]" After he explained everything to her in one breath, Y/n unblocked him to send her the video. And he was right. The girl could be clearly seen haggling for the amount of money and eventually getting it, before taking off her dress and laying down next to the sleeping Neymar. But how did she get into his room?

"You can see for yourself what it's all about. I still don't know how she managed to get into my room and who helped her and why they took pictures, but at least I can rest assured that you know the truth." Neymar sighed, his red eyes filled with tears once again. He doesn't know how he let things get here. Only a day since the love of his life left him, but he doesn't know what is happening around him. At least now that Y/n had let him explain the ugly situation, he hoped she would return to his arms. He missed her, her touch, her kisses, her voice, her laugh, her presence in general. He was so deeply madly in love with her that he was ready to leave his family and end his career for her, and we all know how important family & football are to him.

He was just about to hang up the phone when her soft breaking voice called. "Ney, im so sorry. I should have let you explain earlier, but because of my stubborn head, I didn't and hurt both of us. I wish I could hug and kiss you. I miss you." Y/n said, her voice quiet but understandable. She knows that's not possible because of the miles that separate them every day.

" Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. " [If you go downstairs and go outside, your wish may come true.]" Neymar replied with a small smile that could be heard in his voice.

He was here. He was finally here. Her smile shot across her face. Y/n would finally see him. She was so excited that she didn't even bother to get a jacket and flew down the stairs, opening the front door as quickly as possible. And here in front of her stood Neymar. With his classic smile and different hairstyle. He opened his arms and Y/n ran up and jumped on top of him. Her legs wrapped around his hips, his arms around her back and under her thigh to keep her from dropping to the ground. She nuzzled her face into his neck, smelling his fresh scent & he buried his face in her hair, inhaling her shampoo, which smelled of vanilla and cinnamon.

They pulled back and smashed their lips into each other's. Their lips seemed to be made for each other and fit together like a puzzle. Ney couldn't seem to enjoy Y/n's cherry lip balm & her hands were tangled in his curls.

"I missed you and I'm so sorry I didn't believe you at first." Y/n whispered, forehead pressed against Neymar's.

" Tudo está bem agora. Eu te amo." [ Everything is good now. I love you.]

" Te amo mais." [I love you more.]

[milkiematcha]

Jeno and breeding kink where he's all possessive and wants yn to carry his babies ;)

jeno and breeding is such a good combo, thank you for the ask anon<33

jeno never really thought he had a breeding kink. you were always on birth control or using condoms, so the thought of having kids never really crossed his mind. and he never thought of himself as possessive either, until you and the dreamies went to a bar, just for fun, and he really saw how much drunk guys flirt.

he was obviously your boyfriend, i mean, his hand was resting on your waist and every time a guy came over he'd kiss the crown of your head. but alas, drunk guys don't seem to care much about your boyfriends increasingly annoyed expression or the way his fingers dig more and more into your waist. somewhere around the 4th guy of the night he tugged you out of the bar and into a taxi, his leg bouncing and his jaw set while his eyes flicked from you to the window.

"did you like it?" he'd ask, running a hand through his hair as soon as the taxi driver had dropped the two of you off. "they didn't even notice me being there. fucking assholes."

the way you pout up at him while he holds your wrist and pulls you into the dorm should be illegal, it really should, because he really wants to slam you into a wall and wipe that expression of your face, but he doesn't, he pulls you up to his room and locks the door.

"of course i didn't like it." you'd mumble, kneeling on his bed while he paced in front of you, unbuttoning his pants so forcefully it was a bit confusing. "im your girl, jeno, no need to be jealous."

yep, you were going to be the death of him.

his girl. his pretty girl. the girl he was going to absolutely ruin. the one he could mark up so everyone knows you're his.

it was highly unsurprising when he basically ripped your clothes off and go fucked you like a man possessed. there was something in his eyes, some determination in the pretty black orbs that let you know he was going to absolutely ruin you. so, being a bit of a brat, you'd wrap your legs around his waist, caging him in you when you could tell he was getting close.

"shit, you want me to cum in you? breed you like the little slut you are?" he mumble, letting your fingers tangle in his hair. "nobody's ever gunna think you're anyone but mine after that, huh? pretty girl, would be even prettier with my cum in you."

he barely even heard your mumbled response of whining for him to breed you over the pounding in his ears while he came. and for a second there, he let himself bask in the idea of breeding you and letting your stomach swell up with his baby, then taking you back to that bar to show you off.

you were on the pill, of course, but it wouldn't be the last time he fucked you like that, trying to get you all swollen with his cum and his babies. but who could complain about that? you were, after all, his girl.

i think this turned out weird so im not even gunna proofread before i post lmfao. it turned out more possessive/jealous jeno finds a breeding kink than just breeding kink, sorry anon!!

[angelhummel]

okay so in honor of pride month, i have something i wanna get off my chest for real. sorry if this is super long

I have a tendency to go outside of tumblr spaces when looking at glee content — something i frequently regret. but in my time in those spaces, i often the most delusional take ever. it is basically, “kurt was always kinda pushy towards finn. so did he actually DESERVE to be called a slur??? 🤔🤔🤔 let’s discuss.” this shit boils my blood to no end and while it’s obvious why, i feel the incessant need to defend my boy kurt at all costs.

for one, he wasn’t any more pushy than any other character in the show. i mean for god’s sake, rachel quite literally THREW herself at finn as early as the first episode and i guess that’s fine??? what kurt did was virtually no different bc all the characters do weird, out of pocket shit throughout the show. it really only bothered finn bc kurt is a boy and finn is OVERLY bothered by the prospect of a boy having a crush on him. (more specifically that its kurt — he just simply dislikes kurt being attracted potentially straight guys. thats why he took so much issue to kurt singing with sam. it’s always been about his personal issues with kurt)

moving on to the actual scene in question, so much of what flop accused kurt of was grossly unfair to him. like he says something along the lines of “im scared to even take a shower when youre around,” implying that kurt is some ‘predatory gay’. which is ironic, bc we learn from kurt himself that he never showered after gym JUST to avoid be labelled as something like that. at no point did kurt’s advances move towards remotely ANYTHING sexual in nature, finn just instead assumed that of him

finally, i do believe that flop WANTED to call kurt a slur. he knew that kurt wouldnt call him out for it and you can tell from his tone that that had been building up inside of him for awhile. he wanted something that would push kurt away/scare him. he just went for the cruelest method possible in the moment.

so all this was to basically say that flop hudson sucks and that kurt did not deserve any of the shit that he endured. he was pretty much taught by his peers that it is inappropriate and unacceptable for him to have the same wants and desires that literally any teenager would have simply bc he was gay.

thank you for tuning into my rant. this has been stewing for awhile lmao

lmao yesterday i saw a gifset where cory as finn was doing some good fun acting and i stared at him for like a minute going "if i focus on the cory of it all, can i trick myself into liking finn even a little bit?"

the answer was already no, but if it hadn't been, this ask wouldve set me straight. thank you <3

i've definitely talked about that before tho bc omg. finn has the nerve to call anyone else pushy. i know its not like it'd happened in the show already but. this is the boy setting up a whole kissing booth to manipulate quinn into kissing him aksljfsdlk. or the way he got drunk at the wedding reception in s4 and was hounding rachel. that literally gives me the heebie jeebies lmao sorry to be dramatic about it but i hate it

and god yeah it just breaks my heart bc we know that kurt is always walking on eggshells around these people anyway. and literally 2x04 has become one of my least favorite episodes bc of how hard it is to watch as a kurt stan lmao. sorry it has like two iconic songs but finchel are so fucking manipulative and awful and i've had several rants about this episode before aljsfdlks but basically boils down to them literally making kurt feel like he's committing a crime by asking sam to sing a duet with him and isolating him to an unhealthy degree

and then wanna act all :O four eps later when kurt is like "im getting tf out of here to go to school with people who are nice to me" aslkfdslfjsd

anyway literally just search "2x04 anti finn" on my blog and you will find more posts than you would ever care to read lmao