#im just very bad at managing more than one social media page

[kinseis]

Stars are aligned today, I couldn't not make something to celebrate both the Year of the dragon and one of my fave character's birthday.

Happy new year! ✨

(Have a timelapse as a treat!)

[captainmera]

ello mera,

I wanted to ask how you post your comics online because i was thinking about making my own web comic series but i dont know where to start hehe

I think the website you used for IBWR was called Hiveworks but im not to sure how it works...

Also if you have any other tips when it comes to making comics like time management, planning, or even how draw those gorgeous backgrounds, it would be much appreciated :D

Thank you for your time ヾ(•ω•`)o ✧.*

Sure thing buckaroo, get in the backseat and let's hit the comic road!

ヾ(•`ω´•)o ✧.*

this is all from my perspective though, some stuff may not work for you, but hey - no knowledge is bad knowledge.

Hiveworks is a... Publisher! of sorts! Kind of. They're not like webtoons or Tapas when it comes to comic hosting, you have to be invited to Hiveworks (like me!) or apply to join them! :) They also have Hivemill which is a place where they sell merch for the comics. Either Hiveworks helped making the merch, or the artists themselves made the stuff and Hiveworks helps distribute it (I THINK, don't quote me on that. I haven't made or sold merch with them before. But it's what I understand. They have explained it to me, I'm just kinda dumb).

However! Comic control, of which Hiveworks uses to make the websites are free for anyone to use! :) So if you want your own website, go ahead and make one!

I'd still recommend you buy the URL you'll use in that case though. I pay a yearly fee on GoDaddy.com for mine. It's affordable and honestly worth it as a precaution, lest a dirtbag buy it just to ruin my day and give me distress for a year(s).

But my recommendation is that you mirror your comic in as many places as possible.

Now, my website has ads on it, so if you switch off ad-block when visiting IBWR, I can get ad rev from it! :D (thanks to Hiveworks, that is, they added the ad stuff on there. Idk how it works but it's nice passive income that I really need. It pays for my food).

That means I will prioritize the website over the secondary mirrored places. So that's the place I always link to first. So if people REALLY want to get the next page sooner, they can always check there first.

However, mirroring is great because it is very difficult to get people to read the story you've put so much love into. I want people to enjoy my story as much as I do. The more places you update it to, the more people will discover you.

I've noticed that people like to follow the artist/author on social media for update announcements and general news of what's going on for the comic - so know where your presence on socmed is at! If it's instagram, well, then prioritize instagram but don't forget bluesky or tumblr too! Just know where you're at.

BUT!! And I cannot stress (lol) this enough - but don't stress (lol) about it. which is easier said than done.

It can feel super overwhelming to constantly make each update of a page feel like a check list of "okay, posted announcement to insta, tumblr, twitter, I have scheduled a mirrored post to comicfury and tumblr, I have added all the links in the author section, uuuh, I gotta add a cropped panel sneak-peak in each and I gotta--" that shit gets tiring quick. Work smart not hard. I copy paste from a document and I print-screen crop a panel from my comic on my phone kind of flimsily and that works. Nobody cares if it's fancy. It's just extra energy on my part that I can't be arsed to worry about.

Like Webtoons require that you to always have a preview icon for each update. That's as complicated as I'm willing to get tbh. If it requires more than that from me I'm gonna hate it. But that's just me.

you want to be able to do something consistently.

Which brings me to..

MANAGEMENT

bro, it's a job. It takes work. Work is not always fun, but you gotta show up for it. you're the only worker here. If you don't show up, it doesn't get done.

And people are not going to read it until there's at least pages enough for them to catch on to a story. If you're here for recognition right away, stop. You'll hurt yourself. I know we live in a time of quick-positive feedback through likes and shares, etc. But that's just not reality most of the time when starting up.

So, you got to want to tell the story more than whatever you are expecting to get out of this.

Which will also help you with managing your feelings if your reader count grows or declines. Just remind yourself of why you even want to tell your stories. It's easier said than done, but I found it to be a helpful philosophy to try stick by.

Everything I gain from sharing my story is just a plus. Not the reason.

What I did, also, was to just post whenever I finished a page. I had no readers, only commitment to myself and the comic. That's it. You'll find it easier if you don't force yourself at first, at least I did. And then as you gain your own momentum and work-pace, you'll be able to be like "Oh yeah, sunday works for me. I'll aim for that." Aim for it, don't promise. But show up. You're not a machine, shit happens, life comes in. If you have a deadline that makes you feel guilty, you might start avoiding it etc. So maybe just cut yourself some slack and go "whenever I'm done with a page is a good day."

You are your own boss. You make your own rules.

Yes, there is an algorithm to it all - when's the best time to post, getting new readers through memes or what have you. You might discover that the best way for you to get readers is to make funny videoclips on instagram or tiktok - there is no wrong way.

However, it shouldn't feel like too much of a chore. You should enjoy it at least a little bit. Like, maybe you kinda like making goofy vids of your comic, or draw memes, whatever, right? But you should enjoy some of it. If you hate making vids, but you know it is a good pond to fish in.. well, like... I'm sorry but you're gonna get frustrated with it.

I like posting THANK YOU FOR READING doodles of my characters on instagram stories! :D <3 I like that! That's not too much trouble for me.

BE CRINGE, BE FREE.

who gives a shit.

enjoy yourself you goofy ass little comic artist. Blast your story everywhere, be proud, have fun. People enjoy having fun, they usually want to join in with the fun.

If you have fun, others have fun being with you.

DRAWING COMICS

dawg I wish I had any better tips than... Fuck it, poke at it however you want.

I usually have ten pages flimsily sketched out with speech-dialogues so I know what's gonna happen in the next pages, so I can pace the scene somewhat.

I say that, like I'm some kinda professional, but I jump between pages. Whichever page seems a little more fun. Sometimes I stare myself blind on a page and gotta draw on something else.

Some pages are super well sketched, others are just bald stickfigures making faces at other bald stickfigures.

BACKGROUNDS

Get references. Either look at photographs or take the yourself. Start getting into looking at buildings in real life. I, myself, spend quite a lot of time looking at different windows and brick buildings going "Dang, so that's a widow huh? Architects sure just make windows like BAM ENJOY THIS ONE huh?"

Basically, start appreciating the world around you. There's art everywhere. Someone has put thought - however big or small - into that sidewalk.

Is it a shitty sidewalk? Well, that's really grounding isn't it? Someone, at some point, looked at this space, sighed and thought "fuck man I just wanna go home. That's good enough." and that really grounds you visually into that this world is a place where people have been before you.

Sometimes I get lazy and at the same time in a mood to challenge my memory, and I'll start inventing what the heck a building or street looks like. And you can probably easily tell in a page when I, too, am going "fuck man I just wanna get this page done with, that's good enough."

AND THAT'S FINE!!!

Not everything have to be an awestriking master page! Damn, the pressure I'd be under if that's the only thing I had to produce asdfghj! if anything, great pages look better because some pages are shite.

It's okay.

It doesn't have to be perfect every time. Learn what didn't work, what worked. Post it. Move on. You can't sit on this forever or the story will never be told. Just post it, it's fine.

THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME TO POST YOUR STORY.

Post it in chunks or page by page. It doesn't really matter - new readers are going to read it all in one sitting anyway.

-------

I think that's all I can think of for now??

Hope that helped!

Oh also I have this side blog I've been neglecting a bit, but feel free to check that out: @comicartistcentral

[vixenpen]

Fuck A Fan (Bakugo x Camgirl reader pt. 1)

You had gotten the idea from one of your best friends in the cam industry.

“You sure this will work?”

“Trust me boo,” he had replied, “sometimes the best motivation for a man is a little friendly competition.”

Your bestie had insisted that a fuck a fan contest would be the perfect way to get CallMeKing to finally make good on his unfulfilled promise to see you.

Putting the finishing touches on your flyer, you finally posted the announcement to all social media. You knew CMK was still lurking. So he’d definitely see it. Hopefully, this little contest would be enough to spark his interest, if this failed, you were going to scream.

Because for the first time in your cam career, a man had you chasing him.

The audacity!

To be fair, he did say that he wanted to see you too, but had to keep a low profile due to his career. He promised as soon as worked dialed down you guys would meet up.

Well that had been over a year ago, and not only had you guys not met face to face; he also didn’t seem to check in on you as much anymore.

He still tipped and re-subbed to your page. He had even cash-apped you money for Christmas and your birthday.

But aside from that, there were no more late night, sexting sessions, no more random check ins, no more nude trading.

At first, you brushed it off.

He was apparently a very successful man. Successful men were busy. They couldn’t give you every second of their time. As a successful woman, you could relate to that.

Not to mention, you were a bad bitch and bad bitches did not pine over any man.

PERIODTTT.

Buuuut...when the man in question was fine as hell with boulders for biceps, a big dick, and long money, well...you’d like to think the City Girls, Meg the Stallion, and all the other bad bitches you looked up to would understand your thirst.

“Alright, King,” you sat back in the furry, white computer chair and glared at your laptop screen. “Ball is in your court now.”

“Mr. Ground Zero, can I get a picture too?”

A precocious looking blue haired kid asked. He stared up at Katsuki with wide, hopeful eyes.

Katsuki grimaced.

“Whatever kid, c’mon.”

He leaned down, attempting to keep a safe distance from the walking germ pool, while keeping in the lens of his camera phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thanks a lot, Mr. Ground Zero!”

The kid giddily ran back to his group of friends.

Kirishima slung his arm around Bakugo’s shoulder, weighing down on his slightly shorter friend.

“Wow, Bakubro, looks like those public relations training classes have really been working, huh?”

“Whatever, I just don’t need anymore shitty press with kids.”

“You still have energy for happy hour with Sero and Me tonight?”

Bakugo replied with a noncommittal shrug. He scrolled absentmindedly through his phone as he and Kirishima headed towards their agencies to call it a day.

He decided to check in on (cam name’s) IG page to see how she was doing.

A pang of longing tugged at him. He missed her. A lot. Sure, she was a cam girl, and being friendly and flirty was her job, but she always brightened his days. With crime picking up steadily over the past year, Bakugo could use her presence in his life now more than ever, unfortunately, nothing in his schedule would permit it.

He was researching a new threat that had been developing in the crime world. Apparently the new mob of villains seemed to have some connections to the crime world in America, and Bakugo found himself flying back and forth to the west for meetings and to make media rounds to help put the public at ease.

His sleep schedule was completely out of whack with all the stress he was under, so any spare moment he wasn’t working, he was sleeping. Which meant no time for his virtual boo thing. Though he did try to make it known he was thinking about her with bill money.

As he flipped through her newest posts, something caught his eyes.

Fuck a fan contest? Winner gets to make content with me at secure location!

What the fuck was this shit?

Whatever it was, he was certainly going to get to the bottom of it when he got home.

CMK: Hey, (cam name) what’s this all about?

Y/N: what does it look like? Fuck a fan contest

CMK: fuck u mean? You don’t do meet ups!

Y/N: 🤷🏾‍♀️ first time for everything.

Anger hummed beneath Bakugo’s skin. Since when did y/n start doing meet ups? She had always told him she didn’t trust her fans as far as she could throw them.

He had encouraged her to not be forthcoming with personal information and never feel like she had to meet up with randos online for money. He would take care of anything she needed before it came to that.

So what was the meaning of this? Had he not been taking good enough care of her? Keeping her bills paid? Her nails and hair done?

Y/N: u entering or what? 👀

CMK: hell no im not entering and neither is anyone else. Now take that shit down.

Y/n: (voice note) first the fuck of all, you don’t tell me what to do. Second the fuck of all, do you know how much money is in this? You ain’t stopping my bag boo. Period! 💅🏾

He was practically seething. Who the fuck did she think she was talking to like that?

Who the fuck did she think she was saying no to?!

His dick stirred in his pants as he re-listened to the voice note of her cursing him out.

CMK: how much does it take to win?

Y/N: just whoever has the most.

CMK tipped $150,000

CMK: now take it the fuck down

Y/N: nobody else has entered yet.

CMK: nobody else up here has the money I have.

Y/N: if you’re not meeting with me, I ain’t takin it down.

CMK: god fucking dammit y/n. Tonight. 9pm. Text me the addy. I’ll have my driver pick you up.

True to his word, CMK had his driver pick you up an hour and a half before the time he had mentioned.

Your knee bounced, causing the black mini dress hugging your shapely thighs to ride up. You pulled it down absentmindedly.

You could count on one hand how many times you had been flown out by one of your fans. It certainly wasn’t a weekly occurrence for you the way it was for other models.

Fear and excitement fluttered in your stomach.

You wondered what the driver thought of you. Heading to this rich and powerful man’s house in the middle of the night.

You had tried to dress up as if you were going to be taken on a fancy date. Your hair styled, silver chandelier earrings dripping from your lobes to match the long silver necklace that dipped between your pushed up cleavage.

If the driver gave two shits, you at least hoped he thought you were going to get a nice meal before getting dicked down.

The community where CMK lived was on the outskirts of town; hidden in a forest of natural and manicured foliage. One could go literal miles between each home before they saw the next one.

You pressed your forehead against the window to take in the flora and fauna, manicured lawns, and huge mansions. So. Many. Styles. Of mansions!

“Here we are ma’am.” the driver announced.

He drove you up a looping, stone drive way that led to a very modern home that reminded you a bit of abstract art what with its odd angles, jutting sides, and square architecture.

The driver stepped out and opened your door. Once you were faced with the massive stairs and wooden doors before you, the song: Pretty Woman blared in your mind. You certainly felt that way.

Before you could knock, the door swung open revealing a pair of red eyes that were devouring your body head to toe.

“Oh my god...”

“Wasn’t expecting to hear that before I even touched you, beautiful.” He chuckled. His lips quirked into the cocky half smirk you’d grown familiar with from his interviews.

Was this real? Call me king was Ground Zero?!

“C-call me king?” You managed to stutter out pitifully.

“I would prefer to call you by your real name.” He joked. “Come in, beautiful.” He grabbed your hand gently and pulled you through the door.

You couldn’t even appreciate the high ceilings, polished wood floors, and tasteful stone wash colored furniture as you followed Ground Zero through the door.

He took leggy strides into the airy kitchen taking out a couple of glasses from a cupboard. You could only gawk.

He looked good as hell in his short sleeved denim button up shirt and ripped black jeans. His physique flexed under the well tailored clothes showing off the broad chest and bulging biceps you’d seen in the Nudes. His spiky Blonde hair looked soft and a bit damp.

“You wanna drink, beautiful?”

“I don’t accept drinks from new people in new environments.”

He looked up to shoot you a half smile. The usual mischief was missing from his red eyes, replaced with genuine affection.

“Of course you don’t. My (cam name.)”

“F/N,” you replied.

“Bout damn time you gave me a real name. Mine is Bakugo, babe.”

He strolled over with a glass of water for himself.

“So, f/n,” his ruby colored eyes darkened with a predatory gleam as he stepped right to your face. “Why don’t you have a seat? I promise the couch won’t bite.”

He brought a hand down to smack your round ass, making you jump.

“Can’t say the same for myself though.”

Licking your lips, you lowered yourself into the couch. Bakugo settled beside you so close the sides of your bodies touched. He draped an arm around your shoulder.

“I know you got a camsona and all, but damn, y/n, where’s my feisty little c/n? Huh? Lil Ms. Period!” His voice took on a lighter tone as he tried to imitate your twang.

The attempt earned him a giggle.

“Well excuse me, sir, but I wasn’t expecting the number two pro-hero in Japan to be my biggest fan.” You snapped back, playfully rolling your eyes. “Forgive me if I’m still wrapping my brain around it.”

“There’s that smart ass mouth I love so much.” He tucked your chin.

This close to him, you could feel his warm minty breath fanning against your lips. A familiar warmth was already growing between your legs.

Pulling away you asked: “Why me?”

“Hah?” His brows knit in confusion. “Fuck kinda question is that? What do you mean why you?”

“I mean, I’m a bad bitch or whatever, but I’m just...me and you’re...you.”

“Tch. You just answered your own damn question, dumb ass.” He tilted your face back towards him. You felt his other large hand roam the bare skin of your thigh and shivered.

“You’re a bad bitch. You don’t seem to forget that any other time, don’t fuckin’ forget it now, got that? Your confidence is what’s sexy about you.”

A smile tugged at your lips as heat flooded your cheeks.

“You know, when you’re not being a fuckin’ asshole, you can be pretty damn charming when you wanna be.”

“And when you’re not being a defiant little brat, you can be real fucking cute.”

A moan slipped from your glossy lips as his hand crept steadily up your thigh

“Please,” you leaned closer to him, “you love my brattiness.”

He scoffed, amused.

“I’ll show you just how much I like it.”

Without warning, Bakugo scooped you up. His large, rough hands dug into the soft flesh of your round ass as he straddled you on his lap.

Your wet, bare pussy pressed into his bulge as he stole a greedy kiss. Your gasp quickly morphed into a moan as desire burned in your core and flooded your entire body.

His tongue overtook your mouth effortlessly.

“No panties, huh, brat? I can feel you leaking through my jeans.”

“I hate panties,” you managed between kisses. “And bras.”

That little confession just inspired more arousal in Bakugo. He deposited you on the long couch and let his hot tongue snake along every sensitive bit of exposed flesh he could find. Goosebumps rose on your skin.

“Damn, beautiful,” he managed between kisses, “can’t wait to taste the rest of you.”

His bulge rubbed your aching clit deliciously.

You tugged his shirt up over his mess of blonde hair.

He grabbed the deep ‘V’ of your dress and ripped it open, drawing a gasp from you.

“Now we match.” He grinned

“You ass—“

“You’ll have a new outfit by tomorrow afternoon, now shut up.”

True to his word, Bakugo tasted every inch of you. He nibbled your ears making you shiver, licked your nipples making you hiss his name, and devoured your toes like blow pops.

Your body was trembling from sensory overload.

“God..” you moaned.

“You look like you want something, babe,” Bakugo smiled wickedly as he hovered above you. “What is it?”

“Eat me.”

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hi my Tumblr Peeps😃Sorry I haven't posted my very own fanfics in a while😅 The fanfic Im posting ended up being a part 1 thing kinda last minute, because kinda last minute I ended up deciding to work on a 2 part fanfic thing for the 1st time ever😅I wanted to makesure I'm close to being done or very close to being done with every part when doing a 2 or more part fanfic before posting part 1 of a 2 or more part fanfic, because I have noticed 1 of the pages only completing only I think a couple parts and never continued on with what I think is supposed to be a multi part fanfic😅 It's not gonna be very often I do a 2 or more part fanfic when writing down my fanfics,however I managed to get 2 parts of the fanfic so I'm gonna be posting the 1st part now my Tumblr Peeps😁👍Hope you enjoy😃👍

It's The Only Way, Part 1(Keigo Takami aka Hawks x Any Gender Reader)

Genre: Angst-+18

Hawks was prepping for just incase you end up spending the night at his place for the first time ever. For the couple of years you and Hawks have been together your mom hasn't let you spend the night at his place. It was always him spending the night at your mom's place and your mom madesure since you're living under her roof like you have been for almost your whole life, when it comes to spending any nights, it will always be Hawks spending the night at your mom's place and not you spending the night at your place.Well Hawks was looking forward to you spending the night after he asked your mom if you're able to spend the night at his place and your mom saying she will think about it.

  Meanwhile at your place,your mom tells you no. You have been having a lot of doubts with your mom for a while anyways.Even tough your mom has been short of easier on you and Hawks, you still feel that your mom is showing you that your mom doesn't want your relationship with Hawks to work out.Hawks thinks that your mom wants your relationship with Hawks to work out as he thinks that there's something else to your mom's behavior on and off,however there were things that Hawks said to you that makes you feel that what he said has proven your case about how you feel on your feelings that your mom doesn't want your relationship with him to work out without Hawks knowing it.

  It's not just about weather or not your mom is ever gonna let you spend the night at Hawks place.There are times when your mom gets on your case about Hawks. You even keep overhearing your mom get on your case about him as your mom tells other people(during phone calls even)and getting on your case about Hawks behind your back even though your mom doesn't want to to say anything to anyone about your side of the story or how you feel about certain things. This has proven your case to you about how you feel about,if your mom wants your relationship with Hawks to work out or not, also. So you decided you're gonna have a talk with Hawks about it.

  Hawks decided to call you.Your cellphone rings, you answered. Hawks said,"Hey, Tweety. Did your mom answer you or not? I would like to know.". You explained, "Yes she answered me and she said no to me. The way she sounded to me is that she wanted you to live far away in order for me to ever spend the night with you, so here's what I'm gonna try to do. I'm thinking about trying to move out and get my own place anywheres from a couple months to a few months.". You continued,"I just feel things have been becoming a hassle with mom when it comes to my relationship with you. And something you said weeks ago weather you know it or not has proven my case when it comes to mom and I feel I need to do something to makesure to try to live closer to you and to ensure I can rely on myself with walking to your place more likely. Also I want to makesure mom doesn't have as much involvement with my relationship with you."

  Hawks was shocked about everything you were saying. And he didn't expect you to walk to his place no matter how close you live to Hawks' place. You then said,"Don't worry Hawks.Once I find my own place we won't have to worry about mom's involvement as much.And when I do find my own place the biggest rule I will have for this place is no one will be allowed to down (verbally bash) you. The main reason why is, because one of my brothers seems like he has mostly bad things to say about you and sadly thinks his girlfriend is better than you are, which I don't like when it comes to my brother.I feel he never supported my relationship with you honestly. It might be hard to move out and be at another place,however it has its perks and I know I won't have to worry about relying on people taking me to see you as likely. However wherever place I live in, if one person (neighbors included) say 1 bad thing about you (even if I find out about it), either they will not like what I will say about it,I will block their number, I will block their social media account(s), end the phone call with that person,not let them in the house anymore(depending on which place let's me have company and which place doesn't),two or more of the above,or all of the above depending on how I feel. So that's one change that will be set once I find my own place."

   After that Hawks and you finished the conversation during the call on the cellphone(s) and before the call ended you told Hawks you love him and Hawks said he loves you too,then you and Hawks both said goodnight to eachother before hanging up. Then as you were about to go to bed you heard knocking on the door.

       To be continued...

I really hope you like part 1 of this fanfic my Tumblr Peeps, because part 2 will be posted soon😁👍

[mirrorballls]

* liana liberato, cis woman + she/her | you know rory hanna, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to cool by soccer mommy like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that loud pen clicking rapidly in the corner of kahlo’s, collegiate sweatshirt two sizes too big, and constantly waiting for that deep breath of relief: a longing hope that one day, it’ll all settle down thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is august 26th, so they’re a virgo, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

hey team.

admins made poor decision and let me take up two more muses. i want to plot but we all know i’m butt ass slow at getting to those messages so. i’ll probably make a day of that once i finish starters this all makes sense in my little twisted head.

basics.

full name:  aurora catherine hanna. answers exclusively to rory. birthday:  august 26, 1998. big three:  virgo sun. aquarius moon. capricorn rising. sexuality:  bisexual. occupation:  social media manager for the local paper. neighborhood:  lives in her childhood home on orion avenue.

bio.

rory was born the youngest of three and it shows. i’m not saying third child syndrome is real, but if it is, rory has it. her family was seemingly average in every way: the white picket fence, the house on orion avenue, parents happily married, and not many curveballs coming their way. but as the youngest, rory has always been more of a self-starter. from a young age, she was both fiercely independent and constatnly doing whatever it took to get her parents attention: it’s a paradox, but it’s who she was. she burned the candle at both ends, making sure she was taken care of, on the right track, but always looking for a pat on the back about it.

education had always been a priority in the hanna family: both of their parents were teachers and they were sure to instill a sense of how important an education was. and it left marks on them all in a different way. for her brother, it meant pursuing teaching (smiles at austin) and for her, it was turning her education into something competitive, something she was so passionate about getting the absolute most out of, she was willing to go to extreme lengths. she, like many others, will blame it on the aftermath of gifted-and-talented programs, and being made to feel like she had to achieve at this high level or fail, no middle of the road.

and so, school became almost her singular focus. she was naturally clever, smart enough to learn little ways to come up for air, but for the most part, it was always at the forefront of her mind. and for that, she became her mother’s prize jewel. she would beam and laugh and joke with her bookclub friends about how rory would one day be at duke with the best of them. and her third child syndrome just ate that up. she loved the attention and the praise that dedicating herself to school got her, and she’d do anything to keep that high for a while.

so high school kind of sucked. she had her sights set on duke and knew, that to actually be able to go, she’d have to get enough scholarship money to make that feasible. because the more she talked to her mom about school, the more she indulged her desire to see rory succeed, almost as if she was living vicariously through her, school kept getting bigger. because at first it was getting to the top of her class. then it was duke. then it was law school, preferably ivy league. they had it all mapped out, ready for rory to just succeed and make it happen.

but obviously it’s not as easy as just succeeding. for four years, she was stretched thin. she got involved with as many clubs as she could, she took as many ap classes as her bloated schedule would allow. she played it cool around her friends, whenever she was actually able to see her friends, but for the most part, she spent high school holed up in the library or her bedroom studying and working on whatever paper or project would click her along on her way to duke.

but it all paid off. in the end, she got into duke, and was able to check off that box. but she also got into university of north carolina, and they were a lot more generous with the scholarships. she got a full ride, and with ambitions beyond undergrad, it just made sense to go ahead and take it, save her money for the big league law school she would pick out later. plus, she still got the satisfaction of knowing she got in, she had done enough to impress them, so she convinced herself that was all the payoff she needed.

she majored in journalism and political science, always with intentions of it being a solid base for law school. but she always had a preference for her journalism classes. she got really involved in campus publications and, while it wasn’t all consuming like high school extracurriculars had been, it was something she loved. she loved writing, she loved piecing together each week’s issue, she loved exploring her world through that lens, getting to shine a spotlight on the good and the bad in her community. if she had it her way, she’d pursue that full time. but she didn’t think that was possible.

about a year ago, around the time she was working on law school applications, her parents got divorced. it sent shockwaves through her family, rory and her siblings were largely blindsided by the decision, and it brought her to reconsider a lot of things. seeing her mother in this new light, it felt like half of her decisions for the past ten years had been made to please someone she felt like she didn’t even really know.

so, partly out of hedonism and partly out of spite, she decided to defer law school, eventually deciding to all together not go. she was breaking the cycle and doing something for herself for once. she would take her degree and pursue journalism, she would keep living with her dad and largely cut out her mom, she’d become the person she wanted to be and not who she was expected to be.

but living an amazing life out of spite is harder than she expected. she’s working on finding her footing again, but she didn’t expect to be out in the real world so soon. she took the only job the local paper had available, and she’s hoping to work her way up to writing and editing more, but for now, she’s taking what she can get.

personality wise she’s very determined and stubborn when it matters but she’s also always been a little impish. when she took breaks from studying to go out, she wanted it to count, so she’s been known to raise a little hell. just wanted to make sure she didn’t read as fully joyless nerd even though she is like at least a third joyless nerd.

connections.

high school friends!! rory came back to irving on the weekends/in the summer, but she kind of fell out of touch with a lot of her closest friends from high school. i picture her to have been close with a bunch of other smart girls with ambitions, so maybe its just a matter of them all being in town again to get back in the swing of things

summer flings!!! she hasn’t done a lot of dating dating, but she was prone to messing around a little in the summer. maybe ur muse was apart of that! they could be on the same page as her or maybe they wanted something more and it just didn’t pan out.

former rivals!!! maybe if they were in high school at the same time, your muse and rory were rivals. they still be rivals, and your muse has the upper hand since rory gave up on law school, or maybe they’re more on the same page now.

im very bad at thinking of these. but i would love to make plots with you all :)

but im gonna keep this short and sweet because i have Another Intro to write.... ugh

[prorevenge]

After months of putting up with my roommate from hell, I got the revenge of lifetime and screwed her over out of a fuckton of money and got her to pay rent and life has never been sweeter! (This is a long one)

This is a long one but very much worth the ride, so buckle up. (also, English isn't my native lang, sorry if there are any mistakes)

This story takes place a couple of years back. During college, I lived with several roommates, all of them were nice and we got along well, except for this one bitch, let's call her Karen. if Satan and Hitler had a child and that child had a child with Stalin and Cruella de Vil, that would be Karen for you, she is a loud-mouthed stupid, egocentric bitch who has the face that scare the shit out of a toilet. She would never clean up after herself, she would always leave her plates and things at the spot where she last used them. I have lost counts of how many times, I caught her stealing my clothes without asking and if you so much as touch her clothes she loses her shit on you, or her drinking our lactose-intolerant roommates almond milk and any time we confronted her for drinking it, she would shrug and say "I only had a sip, stop being so stingy." She plays her music loud at night, invites stranger without giving any heads up, a time or two she didnt pay rent even though her parents are FILTHY RICH and she is wearing gucci and prada shit, Karen also fucking lies about everything, even things that are not worth lying about. like if she woke up 7, and you ask her, she'll lie through her fucking teeth and say she rose with the sun rise because she is a natural. (ps, this is something i actually heard her say to her parents while she was skypeing them....so cringy, who the fuck says that? but i digress)

Months we have fucking put up with her, of course we tried to get other roommates but unfortunately when we all moved in everything, all documents and contracts were done in her name so kicking her out would require a lot of effort and most of us were busy with school and work and life happens. So we ignore it as much as we can and try to move on.

We are now all seniors and in our final semesters, meaning graduation was coming, AND Karen is planning a backpack trip across Europe with her friends as a graduation gift to herself, this is important so remember this.

One of our roommates and my closest friend, Sasha, has had a crush on a guy that lives down the hall. Any time the two of them are together, Sasha and the Guy keep giving each other googly eyes and blushing faces; it was sooo cute. Sasha is a verbal autistic person and has never dated anyone because she has a hard time with socializing and understanding social ques and subtlety, which lets face it, that is the core of dating, especially flirting but with a lot of encouragement from me and the final roommate, Lola we got her to ask him out. He said yes. She was so happy, you guys, she flew back into the apartment and did an hour of happy dance with her arms flailing about and a shit eatin grin on her face; needless to say we were all so happy. Karen caught wind of this and it just so happens at that time she was having relationship problems, I guess her bf finally realized he's dating human garbage. Not one to be outshined, Karen behind all of our backs went to the guy's place and spun lies about Sasha, saying she is a serial cheater and even made a fake account for Sasha's so called bf. the guy never called Sasha, and eventually weeks passed by he told us why but by then Sasha felt like the damage was done and lost interest in him.

I. WAS. FUCKING. FURIOUS.

This, this level of dickery and bloody pettiness is the straw that finally broke the camel's back and I vowed I wouldn't fucking leave until I served my slice of justice. Here's another character that you must know about, Prof C. His wife two years ago was in a horrible car accident and as a result is in a wheelchair, this is especially problematic because she was a stay home mom that took care of their two special needs kids and they have a toddler at home. Home life is a mess for him, he is running ragged between working and single-handedly is taking care of his family, the uni took pity and also feared the workload would see one of their best and most beloved teachers leave the school struck a deal with him to help him out. In all of his classes there will be quizzes and midterms, this doesnt change, but assignments you submit and he corrects at the end of the year, this is important cuz our uni has zero tolerance on proffs that dont constantly update the students course works so that students have the chance to improve their grades.

Karen, the lazy and stupid bitch she is, is somehow skating through his assignments, even though they require a shit tone of research and writing. I accidentally learned that one of her older friends told her that she only needs submit the paper on its due date and to only write the first 3 pages and use a paraphrase tool for the rest of the paper so the plagiarism software wont detect it and would think its original material and when the end of the year comes, submit a hard copy but with the first pages being her actual work and the rest being completely plagiarized, professional work. Prof C won't know cuz the likelihood a man as busy as him thoroughly checking the work of 120+ students is pretty low. I grinned. A plan was beginning to formulate in my head. Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, she is going down! All semester long I let her do this for all of the 7 papers, one of them which is a term paper that has 20% on it alone, all the while I spied and gathered all of her pass codes, social media, her student ID, everything.

The end of the year came and I compiled all of her assignments, both the original one with the paraphrasing tools she used to circumvent plagiarism and the one she finally handed them in, and I even made photos were there are side-to-side comparison of the assignments. This is a good start but not enough. So, One day chillin at the living room I open a conversation about relationships, Karen is two timing her new boyfriend and is sleeping with some other Person. so, I ask her questions like "don't you feel guilty for cheating?" and "You do realize this is wrong?" and I even paraphrase my words in a way that is vague but also clear, for example I would say "It's not fair, so many people work so hard everyday to be successful and you are here cheating and lying your way to success." Karen, narcissistic as fuck, would respond with snippets of I dont care and how she isnt cheating, she is only having fun and that everyone does it so why not her too. This is too good to be true, even her answers are vague, its like god put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said, "burry this bitch". and Id be damned if I didnt. As you probably have guessed it by now, I was recording EVERYTHING. The recording plus the photos, and her assignments were more than enough evidence, I sent an anonymous email to the Professor, and i tell the girls so that they can prep for the shit storm thats coming. Three weeks later, results are out. she failed and LOST HER SHIT. She was screamin, crying, wailing, what a sight to see! you best believe, the girls and I were laughing. She tried to talk to the prof, but he was not having it. she cried and begged for a second chance but he said a hard no. So now she has two options: she goes ahead and doesn't graduate with us, and takes on a whole 'nother semester for one measly course or take summer course and cancel her trip to Europe, which mind you she spent a fuckton on, something like 13, 000$ and I know it could have been much cheaper but Princess Karen only wanted the best so yh. The next couple of weeks she spent sleepless nights because she was calling and cancelling all the reservations she made, tryin to get her money back BUT (again, GOD really was out for blood that day) because the cancellation was so close to some her trip most places refused to refund, or some charged her cancellation fees. She only managed to scrap 5.5 K back together, lossin 7.5 K. OUCH!

Its not over, having damning evidence I, with earned gusto, told her she was going to pay all of the bills till we move out, which was in two months, payback for all the times she was late on payment or defaulted and she would from now do her part of the house chores or else Im gonna send it all to the admin and faculty dean and she will fo sho be kicked out and all those uni years will have been for nothing. She hated it, she fucking threw tantrums and cussed me out but my god if she didnt do whats told. she cleaned her stuff, apologized to Sasha for what she did, I forced her to come clean to her BF (dont know the guy but the few times i met him he was super sweet to us and i felt bad for the guy), I watched her actually do the dishes for the first time in like years. IT was fucking amazing and I don't regret it one bit. In fact, anytime I feel sad now as an adult, i kick back my feet and reminiscine and a slow shit eatin grin draws itself upon my face.

tl;dr roommate was super mean, i found out she was cheating on her assignments and so i snitched on her and as a result she had to stay the summer and retake the class again or else she wouldn't graduate.

(source) story by (/u/let-the-write-one-in)

[sat-cong-al]

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[jeongfm-blog]

               hello  everyone  !  my  name’s 𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒂 (  pronouns  they  /  them  )  and  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  !   it’s  been  a  while  since  my  last  city  rp ,  but  since  it’s  one  of  my  fave  kinds  of  rp ,  i  figured  i  would  give  it  a  whirl  once  again  !   some  boring  facts  about  myself  is  that  i’m  a  sucker  for  golden  hour  despite  not  even  having  an  instagram ,  i  spend  too  much  time  watching  youtube  videos  (  i  recently  got  back  into  watching  my  girl  jenn  im  and  now  i  remember  why  i’m  so  obsessed  with  her  ) ,  and  i  have  books  on  my  shelf  that  i  got  for  christmas  and  haven’t  read  a  single  one  !  i’m  super  excited  to  introduce  you  guys  to  my  pride  and  joy  𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒊𝒂  𝒋𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈  as  well  as  to  plot  and  interact  with  everyone  !

full name : sofia jeong.

nickname(s): sof and posy by her dad only !

birthday : february 9th, 1997.

zodiac : aquarius.

moral alignment : neutral good.

gender : cisfemale.

pronouns: she/her/hers.

sexual orientation : bisexual.

romantic orientation : biromantic.

height : 5′6″ ( five foot, six inches ).

hometown : ascot, brisbane, australia.

nationality : australian.

ethnicity : korean.

language(s) spoken : english, korean, and conversational portuguese.

occupation : social media influencer.

aesthetics : bright computer screens at two am, a pristine instagram theme, morning dew, perfect lighting, clear lip gloss, glass skin, selfies in small circular mirrors, freshly dyed rose gold hair, oversized tees and denim shorts, soft skin on white sheets, foreign languages, bright early mornings, staring in awe into someone’s eyes, honeyed laughter, music playing in the background, late night drives, early morning hikes, iced coffee on cold mornings, vanilla scented body lotion, the sound of pencil on paper, highlighter gleaming in the sunlight, perfectly styled hair, and soft pink on crisp white shirts.

i. background.

taemin jeong was a freshman at the university of queensland, studying computer science, when he met his future girlfriend grace kim, who was studying architecture. he was awkward and bumbling while she was sociable and graceful ( no pun intended ), but somehow the couple was a perfect match from the moment they met in freshman algebra. they made their friends sick with their love and moved through the challenges of college with one another. 

the summer before their senior year, they moved into their own off-campus apartment. this same summer, grace discovered that she was pregnant with their first and only child, who the couple later named sofia. when the couple graduated, sofia was three months old and featured in a lot of their graduation photos. 

after their graduation, though, things for the couple began to fall apart. while taemin wanted to marry grace and have a family, grace was feeling trapped as she wasn’t expecting to have a child so soon. so, one day when taemin took sofia to visit his parents, grace packed her things and one picture of their daughter before leaving a note for taemin.

to put it lightly, taemin was heartbroken upon discovery that grace was gone, but he couldn’t sulk for long as he had a wide eyed seven month old to care for. so from that point on, taemin focused on his career and sofia. he thankfully had the help of his parents while he worked long hours to save money, but after two years they moved into their forever home.

growing up, sofia’s life was pretty normal, despite the fact that her mom wasn’t around. there were times where things were tight in the one parent household, but for the most part sofia has no complaints about her childhood. much like a lot of people, sofia was a kid who liked filming weird videos with her friends and doing absolutely nothing with them other than leaving them on the computer for her dad to find.

the very first beauty youtuber that sofia ever watched ( like a lot of people ) was michelle phan ! she absolutely fell in love with michelle and began wanting to do her own makeup videos as well. she made a really crappy channel when she was like ... twelve and let’s just say that the video she made was horrific ! like most youtubers, her channel’s name was like like sofiaposybeauty60 or something ugly like that.

a few years later, when she was about fifteen, sofia tried her hand at youtube once again. this time she made a twitter and instagram to correspond with it, hoping that she could build something of a platform. her videos were of terrible quality and her makeup was probably really bad, but she did it anyways. she’d post her makeup looks on instagram and when that grew, so did her channel.

skipping along because i talk too damn much, now at twenty two, sofia has five million subscribers on youtube and 1.6 million followers on her instagram. if i were to compare her to an actual youtuber, i’d say she’s a mix between jenn im and sophia chang. she’s very much into staying in her own lane and her videos are pretty ~aesthetic and chill. she has her own online clothing store as well called ( something, idk yet ).

anyways, sofia made the move to barcelona from brisbane about a year and a half ago because she wanted a change of scenery. she came to barcelona previously on a trip with some girlfriends and after a while of planning, she made the move ! she currently lives in a cozy little apartment with her eight month old goldendoodle named rockie !

ii. appearance.

sofia’s appearance is pretty much canon to rosé’s ! her hair is currently strawberry blonde and is always a variety of such. she likes to change her hair color every so often, but this is the one that’s been around for a while. sofia hasn’t had dark hair since she was about thirteen years old, which is when she first dyed her hair from black to brown. since then, she slowly began to lighten it to where it is now.

when it comes to her sense of style, it’s very much inspired by model off duty. it includes a lot of denim, a lot of black, ankle boots, and sneakers. she’s a big fan of tote bags and is usually always seen with one ( since she’s always carrying around a camera, her laptop, and other little things ). it’s no surprise that she has a container in her closet full of them, but she of course, has her more luxury ones in her collection as well.

for the most part though, when she’s just lounging around her apartment, sofia is super casual. it’s fuzzy socks. it’s oversized tees that swallow her physique. there’s no makeup on her face. she has on her glasses and her hair is piled onto her head in the messiest of messy buns. she’s a huge fan of jewelry though and is hardly ever seen without rings on her fingers and her favorite necklace around her neck.

iii. personality.

vociferous, precisian, and beguiling : when it comes to her positive traits, most of it entails from her career on social media. prior to being on youtube, sofia was more on the quiet side and kept to herself, but since then especially with doing vlogs, she’s more comfortable being the one to start a conversation. she’s a big perfectionist, also stemming from her career, but it’s trickled into behind the camera as well. she doesn’t like to half ass anything, no matter what it may be. and finally, sofia is as charming as ever. she can charm the pants off of anything with a little eye glimmer and a hair flip, she’s got them in the bag.

advantageous, negligible, and censorious : as for her negative traits, sofia is advantageous in regard that she knows how to work people into believing that she’s the best choice for them. it’s how she’s gotten most of her sponsorships -- sometimes her manager jokes with her that she doesn’t really need him. sofia is super petty as well, which is actually bad -- she’s the girl who doesn’t let ignorant comments slip on her instagram or twitter, but sometimes all it does is get her into trouble with her public relations team. finally, sofia can be critical of people at times, even if she doesn’t mean it in a malicious way. maybe it stems from being analyzed constantly herself, but she can sometimes immediately regret it after it’s been said unless it’s someone that she doesn’t get along with.

iv. wanted plots.

i’ll have a wanted connections page up every soon with a couple of detailed plots that i’d like to have, but i’m always down for ( but not limited to ) enemies with benefits, ex friends, best friends, flirtationship, failed relationship, best friends, squad, almost relationship, good/bad influence, family friends, someone who appears on her channel, slow burn ( !!! ), workout buddies, neighbors, confidants, and above all else, chemistry !  

[teachers-are-nerds]

why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic

theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics

i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it

why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home

what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol

i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive

well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk

im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.

i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement

god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit

and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore

i hate that im a whore in general

like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year

the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today

everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e

oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end

idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever

idk

idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol

what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry

yells

[mollydollyjournals]

Monday 8th Feb, 157lbs. I feel a little disoriented. I drank yesterday and was tired and hungover today. I'm close to running out of lax so I had a bit less today. Yesterday I did a microenema as well but today Im tired, it's late and I don't know if I can be bothered. I missed a delivery today and I hope it wasn't the lax. I don't think they would have sent it that fast. I hope it arrives tomorrow basically.

My period is ending. Way too long this month for some reason. I still feel kind of bloated but that could also be from drinking yesterday. Idk.

Big argument with hb today over something really small. I started looking up divorce procedures. No fault divorce will apparently be a thing later this year. I'll probably go for that. We made up a little afterwards but mostly I think he's just pretending things are fine and ignoring it. I feel like that one thing could be fine but the underlying issue is still there. Every time this happens I get closer to leaving. Then I miss the good and try to forget about the bad. Then it happens again. I don't think we'll be together by next year. Not unless something really changes.

I still haven't directly spoken to bf in more than a month. He's very distant. From some brief exchanges on social media pages, he's also not dealing well with lockdown things. That's not surprising. I just hope he isn't also annoyed at me. Idk. I miss him so much. I also don't want it to seem like I just go to him when there's an issue with hb so I don't tell him much about that. There was a time when it was good. It'll take a lot to get that back though, with hb. I guess maybe it's hypocritical of me, but I hope bf doesn't feel that way about me like I do with hb. Maybe it's easier because I've had more space to miss bf. Idk. Idk.

I just want things to be okay. I want the outside to be safe and for people to stop dying and to get along with hb and to have my own money and for bf to be close and to see him all the time and to be happy with my body and appearance and to be healthy enough to do things. When you think about it, those things are super basic. I guess aside from the polyamory aspect you could say it's even normal. But millennials & gen Z are finding that increasingly less achievable.

I haven't managed to go to a supermarket to get safe foods. Im hoping I won't feel so hungover tomorrow and can go to the local shop by myself. At least get some berries or something. I drank quite a bit yesterday - nowhere near as much as I used to but still most of my weekly quota. So I should have a week off. If I can do that, it'll be useful to work out during that time. It keeps me distracted. Maybe by some miracle I'll be well enough to do that and can even lose some weight.

I hate my metabolism. I hate that I'm still at this point. I hate that I can't keep control of myself for long enough to make a difference. I hate that it only takes a couple of days to undo weeks of progress. I hate that I have no idea what's going on with my digestive system right now. I hate that my insides hurt and I don't know if I should still go to a doctor or not. I hate that there's still this stupid pandemic because our government has been so shit at taking care of its people so I still can't just go to the shops or go see friends or see bf and get some physical touch. I hate all of this.

[jasperrollswrites]

Tome of Another Realm

Another one for randomwolf91 - this time he wanted a TF into his Roegadyn character from Final Fantasy XIV.

———————

If you're not one to use a computer much, it's hard to really explain how much it sucks when it breaks. It's an escape, a way to relax, and catch up with the world. It can feel like you've been cut off from something very important in your life - even if you don't do stuff considered particularly important by most people.

This was Loez's situation now. His computer had gone on the fritz - been that way since the weekend. He still wasn't totally sure why it had happened. He'd been playing Final Fantasy XIV, when the whole thing had just suddenly cut out inexplicably. The screen went black, the fan of the computer shut off, all the lights on the tower went down. There hadn't been any sort of power cut or anything, it hadn't overheated. It just wouldn't turn back on at all. At least one saving grace was that he hadn't been doing anything majorly important when it had cut out.

He'd taken the computer to a shop on the Monday, and they said they'd let him know what they'd found by next week. So here he was, 4 days without a computer. No games, no important files...in the modern age of smartphones it wasn't too bad. He still had access to social media and IM chat clients, but it's never quite the same. So here he was, at home, frustrated and bored out of his mind. All he wanted was his computer back.

He was lying on his bed, fully clothed, his phone lying at his side. He couldn't really think of anything to do...well, not quite. He could think of things he could be doing, he just didn't want to do any of them. Even the things that otherwise sounded like they might be fun seemed unappealing and boring. He scratched his belly through his red t-shirt.

He stifled a yawn, even though it was the middle of the day. Maybe if he just curled up and slept now, he could sleep through to the next week, when he already had his computer back. If only it were so easy. Slowly pushing himself up, leaving his phone on the bed, he walked over to the window and stared out at the street below. Surely anything would be better than just laying in bed all day.

What could he do? Something he hadn't done in a while maybe. Nice as a computer was, by its nature if you spent too much time with it, it left you kind of a hermit. He should go out somewhere. Somewhere he hadn't been before...or maybe somewhere he had, but not in ages. Where, though?

He scratched his beardy chin, trying to think of a place to go. Maybe a restaurant or something...nah, that'd be kind of weird, going on his own. What was a good place you could go to on your own? He glanced around the room looking for ideas. Most places you went with someone. Not that he didn't necessarily have people to go with, just...

He caught himself absentmindedly staring at a bookshelf with a few books placed on it. He considered reading them, but he'd read them all already, and he didn't feel like looking at them again right now. He should probably buy some new books...or...

The library. It seemed kind of obvious, when he thought about it. They were places designed for you to be alone in, practically. Maybe he'd go, spend a few hours there. It couldn't hurt. Might make him feel less like he was trapped in this place. He pulled up his jeans at the waistline, looking around for socks to put on. It was sounding like a better idea all the time.

---

The walk to the library wasn't too far, but it was long enough for Loez's mind to drift, inevitably, back to the night his computer had shut off. He'd donned a pair of converses and a blue hoodie for his short outing, and was walking along the main street now. The sun was shining, although it was a little weak, as summer was starting to end. He adjusted his glasses. What had caused the sudden outage was still a mystery to him. He tried to remember exactly what he had been doing when it had happened. He'd just finished a mainline quest - luckily the game had saved, so he hopefully hadn't lost all that much. As far as he could remember, he'd just started a new one...something about forgotten memories or something, and then the whole thing had shut off.

He supposed what he missed the most about not having FFXIV around to play right now was his character. A handsome, stylish roegadyn, with grey skin, and muscles to spare. They were a very attractive race, he thought - a little beastly, but not too much, and naturally powerful. It was nice to play pretend at that kind of thing. 

Realizing he was getting close to the library, Loez stopped thinking about his PC for once. He stopped for a moment, taking in the building. It was a pretty small local library, all red brick with some windows set in the walls. The electric sliding doors admitting entrance to the building looked a little out of place. He headed inside, getting out of the heat that was starting to make him sweat a little bit.

It was cool inside, thanks to the AC. The decor was pretty simple - dark blue carpets, white wallpaper, with some colourful leaflets and such pinned up on notice boards. The corner for kids books had some colorful paint on the walls, but otherwise, the rest was just simple wood furniture and shelves of books. It was a nice thing he'd sort of forgotten about libraries. No-one would bother you here unless you asked them to, really.

He began walking through the library, mainly sticking to the fiction section. Thinking about Final Fantasy had put him in the mood for something fantasy-based. There was a lot of books that seemed interesting, that he'd never heard of before. Some weird takes on Alice in Wonderland, a darker version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but about holiday mascots instead. He raised an eyebrow at a small manga section, surprised a little library like this would have something like that. He guessed it had been a while since he'd been here.

Now he was finding licensed books - books based on videogames in particular. Stuff like Halo, and BioShock, spin off books and graphic novels. He didn't feel like reading any of them in particular...then one particular book caught his eye.

It stood out, mainly by having nothing immediately identifiable about it on its cover. Unlike the hard, plastic cover of the books that surrounded it, this cover was leather, with straps bound around it. It looked very out of place. He reached towards it, pulling it out of the shelf. He was surprised to see that the straps binding the book were for real - he suspected they might have been drawn on, at first glance. He tugged at them - they looked like simple belt buckles to unstrap.

He looked around for a reading area, and saw one of the little cubicles set aside for quiet reading. Walking over, he sat down in the chair and set the book on the table - it was quite heavy, and landed with a thump. He unstrapped the bindings, and was surprised again - the book seemed to have no title. Just a nondescript, brown leather cover. Maybe there was something on the inside. He opened the cover up. There didn't seem to be any publishing information, which seemed odd. He turned a couple of pages, until he saw the first words, in a classical, somewhat large font.

"Tales of Adventure - A Realm Reborn A record of recent Eorzean history."

Loez raised an eyebrow. Figures. He'd managed to pick up a supplementary book about Final Fantasy XIV. Although, it was a little strange. Usually, Square Enix couldn't resist putting the logo all over anything related to Final Fantasy. It was a surprising amount of restraint they were showing. Maybe to make the book feel more "authentic"? He turned a couple more pages, with fingers that had thickened slightly...but only very slightly.

The book seemed to be acting as a sort of primer for the game, but as if the book itself was directly from the game, being written by an Eorzean historian. The opening section talked about the initial, infamously bad version of the game - although it didn't seem to be making as many jokes about it as Square Enix were more prone to do these days, given how bad the original version of the game was.

This section was pretty short - they seemed to be talking about it as if it was long ago, mythical times that no-one really knew all that much about. Of course, Loez, knew how it ended, with Bahamut destroying the old world, and the adventurers being sent of the world to the "realm reborn". As he read further, reminiscing about the couple of weeks he'd spent in the old version of the game, his body was changing.

He was starting to lose weight...no, that wasn't quite right. He was losing fat. His belly, which would normally push out against his shirt, was beginning to...well, it looked a little like it was deflating, at first. This wasn't quite the case, however. The fat was being converted. His stomach was losing its softness, the abdominals beginning to harden. His hips widened slightly, and he felt a warm feeling over his body. It wasn't too much, not really all that noticeable, just...pleasant.

Loez read on, to the "Realm Reborn" part, which was a bit more dense than the preceding section - mainly because the writer seemed to know more about it. As he read over the creation myth and early history, his hands were thickening further now. His digits gained extra mass, the palms of his hands broadening. There was a very slight tickle, as the tips of his fingers became more calloused, and small scars split the hand open, before the skin knitted back together. A black mark appeared around the inside of his right hand, between his thumb and forefinger, as well as on the tip of his thumb - the mark of someone who used a weapon such as a gun relatively frequently.

The book went on, about wars throughout the history of Eorzea, the various rulers and classes, races that populated the realm. Loez wondered if they were going to talk about the stuff you did in the game, and how they'd handle it. His forearms were bulking out now, gaining in muscle, any fat they had being converted. As before, there was a warm feeling going through him, but it wasn't breaking his concentration. His biceps were bulking out now, connecting up with his shoulders and back, which were getting wider - if anyone was to watch, they could see him getting bigger in the cubicle, gaining in muscle spontaneously.

His skin was beginning to lose its colour, the pink fading from his skin. He was becoming paler all over, his skin beginning to turn almost white. His back muscles were piling on the strength, that warm feeling going through his shoulder blades. It was like a pleasant massage, and the front of his body wasn't long in trying to catch up. His pecs were pushing out now. Before, they'd been soft, and kind of plump with fat, but as with the rest of his body, that fat was being converted to more muscle, the muscle of someone who spent a lot of time around physically taxing jobs.

Loez was starting to get to the actual "recent history" part of this book...and as he did, it was now his clothes turn to start changing. It started with his hoodie, the blue colour draining from it, as the soft cotton was toughening up, becoming a harder leather, the colour becoming more of a dark brown. The sleeves were riding up, exposing his much bulkier arms for a brief moment. However, they were then covered up by his undershirt, which was doing something like the opposite of his jacket, the sleeves there lengthening, but only up to the lower part of his wrists.

The zip of the hoodie simply seemed to fade away, the material knitting together into a solid piece of brown leather. Buttons were pushing out instead, marking the starts of straps that were hanging loosely down off the former hoodie. The sleeves had now come all the way up to his shoulders, before pulling back over them making his hoodie more like a tough leather vest. His shirt, meanwhile, was losing its colour. The red turned to a soft pink, before turning white. The collar rose up around his neck around the back, but the front of the collar opened up, folding back on itself. Buttons bloomed underneath the leather vest, becoming undone at the top, exposing his collarbones, and the tops of his pectoral muscles, the skin turning back from white, to a darker shade...more of a grey.

Loez pushed up his glasses with his right hand, oblivious to the changes, exemplified by the fact that the hand he'd just used was having a glove formed around it. It started simple enough, around his wrist, a similar brown to his vest. White markings drew themselves in, as the leather of the glove raised up around his hand, before stopping around his knuckles, leaving his upper fingers bare. A metal plate shimmered into place, a bit of blue light surrounding them briefly, before setting into the glove, to protect his hand.

"Eorzea has many adventurers - some may even call them heroes," the book read. "The next section of this history concerns itself with the 7th Umbral Era, an era in which there are many notable adventurers. However, perhaps the most notable would be one no-one at the time would have expected - a roegadyn by the name of Loezkirz Sykursyn."

That line made Loez stop. Because that was his name.

No, it was...the name of his character...in the game. Of course. Where had that come from? It wasn't the point. Why was his...character's name in this book? He'd figured they would just use the generic "warrior of light" nickname for anything the player did, but here it was. It was his...his...character's...name...here in the book. It wasn't drawn in. It had definitely been typed in the book. Why would they put his...character's...name...why was he getting hung up on that? With his right hand, he turned the book over to the back cover, hoping for an explanation - and noticed the glove.  

"Uhhh..." Loez stammered, in a noticeably lower voice, jumping with surprise. The realisations came quick and fast - the glove, the skin, the size of the hand, then down along his bulked out forearms, biceps triceps, his pecs pushing out, the strange new clothes. No, not new clothes. He knew these clothes, they were his clothes! Uh, his character's clothes, he meant. In Final Fantasy XIV. Which was...a game. Wasn't it?

Except...that didn't feel quite right any more. His head was getting fuzzy. He was...just...a human, right? He had a computer, and stuff, and he just lived a normal life, and he played video games? That couldn't be right. He remembered it, but it didn't sound real to him. Then what was he? The roegadyn? The adventurer the book spoke of? That didn't sound real either. He looked around, but it made his head hurt more. The walls were spinning, the wallpaper was shifting...one moment it was plaster, the next it was ancient, stone brick. What was happening to him?

He looked down at the book, and his head seemed to get less fuzzy. Did the book have the answers? It seemed so strange that he should forget who he was in this way, but...just looking at the book seemed to make him feel better. He took it in his broad hands (did he have those before? He couldn't remember), and opened it up, trying to find his page again.

"...a roegadyn by the name of Loezkirz Sykursyn." The name that made him stop. Why had it bothered him so? He hadn't expected to read it...maybe if he read further it would explain. He began reading the next section in earnest, slightly fearful of what might be coming. It talked of the events of the 7th Umbral Era, the exploits of this roegadyn with the name that had made his head hurt so before. As he read on, his hair darkened in shade, going from chestnut brown to a more jet black shade. His beard was growing out, becoming fiercer, but finely combed, like he took extensive time making it look good. As he read about encounters in dungeons with fierce enemies, his softened jawline began to harden, becoming squarer. He licked his dry lips, as they thickened.

His lower body wasn't exempt from changes. His legs had packed on the muscle now, powerful and strong, his endurance and stamina increasing as he read. His jeans had gone from denim, to the brown leather of his vest. A belt snaked it's way around his waist, the left side beginning to bulk out and hang down - a large pouch attached to the belt. Anyone else might have trouble carrying it around, but his powerful leg muscles were more than up to the job of carrying the items that were beginning to fill the pouch.

As he read on, learning more about the adventures of this roegadyn, the more it...felt right. He was beginning to recall these adventures, with much more clarity than the historian. Descending into the dungeons - he could remember fighting the monsters the book spoke of. He remembered the kick of the gun in his hand most vividly, as a strap wound its way around his body, and the gun in question shimmered into place, not unlike the metal plate on his gloves. The double barrels of the weapon pointed at the ground, as it slid into its holster, strapped to his back. The weight of the gun on his back felt familiar...felt right.

His nose was broadening, his skull getting wider - his glasses stretched to accommodate, and he felt no pain, as they refit himself to his reshaping face. His brow came lower, harder set, as he frowned at an inaccuracy. His hair became shorter, closer to the nape of his neck, finely combed, just like his beard...he stroked the beard in question, fondly remembering some lighter moments in his adventures. The jet black colour went through all of the hair that adorned his head, save for the tips of his hair, which had streaks of light green complementing it.

The final touches fell into place. His converses hardened out into large boots, with metal spurs. Two markings drew themselves in under his eyes, light green ink pressing into his skin, becoming a permanent, tattooed feature, and as he came to the end of the section about himself, earrings pierced through his lobes, settling lightly into place. He smiled, and closed the book with one hand.

Perhaps a bit self-indulgent to read about oneself, but the way Loezkirz saw it, if you didn't know your own history at the very least, then there was nothing to stop you repeating mistakes in the future. It was very nice of someone to write out his history for him, at least - not everyone had that luxury. Standing up, he looked for where he had taken the book from, and returned it to its shelf, walking past the old stone bricks that had seen so many days pass.

Some people would see it as a shame that perhaps the book could not see into the future, but as Loezkirz exited the old guild building into the sunlight of Limsa Lominsa, he figured that would spoil things. Half the fun of adventuring was never knowing what might come next. To him, the future wasn't something that was prewritten, to be determined by the divine. He took matters into his own hands, and made the future he wanted to see. 

He took a moment to admire the beautiful coastal city he called his home, the stunning stark white buildings and pavements that he knew so well. He wandered towards a bridge, simply enjoying the scenery, and stopped on the side. He closed his eyes, letting himself listen to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks far below, and feeling the coastal wind blow through his hair. He couldn't be happier to be back where he belonged.

Back in the library, a blue light surrounded the book Loezkirz had returned to the shelf, before flashing. The book disappeared, the name of the handsome young roegadyn being erased, and replaced with the name of a different hero, before appearing in another library, in another world.

The call to adventure was waiting for yet another, and the gateway was through a tome of another realm.

[yourwinglesswarrior]

FINALLY!!!!

I really had to manage my expectations when I started this program because I wasn’t sure what was in store for me.  I was as scared about a business program as I was of math and science while getting my BFA in Creative Writing.  As me to write a 10-page paper and I won’t break a sweat.  Ask me to crunch numbers and get them correct and it’s going to look like I’ve been in a sauna.

Personal Development and Leadership I felt was pretty straightforward, as it was more an introduction to the material than the material itself.  It was easy to get acclimated and have my feet get wet.  I understood a bit of what was coming my way and I committed myself to it. My thoughts on the course itself remain aligned with my journal entry found here:

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/178772662160/intention-statement

Completing the entire program has had the benefit of showing me how to dedicate myself to the business aspects of writing and my brand as well as the creation process.  Also, My Addams family quote, “We gladly feast on those who would subdue us,” became an internal mantra, when the world felt like it would crush me.

Executive Leadership.  I’m still very staunchly in the corner of Maxwell’s style of leadership.  It suits my natural stance on most things in life. But learning new leaderships styles also sent me down the rabbit-hole of looking into and really thinking about my personal styles.  The DISC model and being an ENTJ, horoscopes and Taurus moons… tons of things I never considered before.  Knowledge of self is important and Executive Leadership really made me take stock of that. It also helped me learn to switch between styles and take what’s good from each.

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/179984187935/maxwell-or-greene-that-is-the-question

Project and Team Management.  I’ve been working on teams as long as I can remember.  But organizing those teams, getting down the specifics and organizing funds is a completely different beast.  I learned ways to strategize the process of creating my team, organizing, and project and setting up goals in a fashion that favors the work being completed.  I should mention that the class was challenging but I also COMPLETELY bombed an assignment by not turning it in and not realizing.  It was a killer.  But it was something I had to bounce back from.  I had no choice.  So PTM showed me how to be stronger and battle back from my own mistakes.

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/181188917010/im-not-one-that-usually-has-any-difficulty

Business Storytelling and Brand Development.  Here I thought I was going to dive into my forte.  I get to tell a story.  Here’s the big time.  Then the word “Brand” came into the picture.  I hear it so often on social media from people who have no brand, to begin with, that it becomes frustrating.  But through research, I was able to get passed my aversion to branding and create a vision for my company and my personal brand that I can stand behind.  Not only did it help me realize that it helped me sell my personal brand in a way that’s generated multiple copy-editing and comic writing jobs.

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/182521601650/i-started-this-course-with-a-somewhat-negative

Entertainment Business Finance.  I still hate numbers.  But I have a MUCH better understanding of them.  I didn’t know what a Pro Forma statement was before the course.  Now I can create one with proficiency.  I understand what’s needed to make my business work and how I need to approach it. It’s helped me realize that time truly is money.  Being able to articulate the cost of writing and creating great stories is invaluable. Too often up and coming writers and artists are undervalued.  This gives me a chance to display the necessity of funds at a certain level and assists in creating my business plan overall.

Digital Marketing.  I needed digital marketing more than I knew, even when I finished the course.  The lessons I learned there enabled me to run an amazingly successful Kickstarter campaign.  I reached to the correct people, placed the ads in the correct places and reset my little space in the market to where the companies that I researched are now following my lead.

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/183837696765/digital-marketing-was-a-very-important-class-for

Negotiation and Deal Making.  This course helped more than in just its application for my personal business.  It’s helped define the way I work with my subordinates and co-workers.  Understanding underlying interests and people’s bargaining positions has enabled me to create a better overall environment.  Most conversations are some sort of deal-making. Something needs to be done and the parties involved have to make it happen.  Because of this, I’ve used the principles liberally in my personal life and the deal-making process.  Also, I was able to get the assignment that I mentioned in my journal entry turned in. Thank the lord!

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/184314638190/work-in-progress

Product and Artist Management.  You mean to tell me that I can make a video game and potentially an action figure series AND it’s viable?  That’s all I needed to hear.  Toys to life styled games and understanding that I am both the artist and manager was beyond important.  The products and placements expanded as I completed the course.

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/185235513815/before-i-started-this-course-i-was

Advanced Entertainment Law.  If I hadn’t taken this course when I did, I potentially would have made a bad contractual decision.  Working with Konkret Comics, there are a lot of things that go into who owns what.  That being the case, I almost released some ownership of my IP through mistaken word placement.  Scrubbing through contracts made the mistakes in contracts easily identifiable.

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/185878171815/ael

Entertainment Media Publishing and Distribution.  I had a little background in publishing, having self-published my novel.  I still didn’t know the entertainment portion of it, truth be told.  Finishing my Kickstarter campaign as well as the course solidified those two things for me.

https://yourwinglesswarrior.tumblr.com/post/186613291025/when-i-started-the-masters-program-and-in-month-2

Business Plan Development.  I learned here that I knew more about the business plan and my focus than I thought. While there were places that I needed to clean up, I was standing on a strong footing.  The fact that my financials were fairly close to what they should be was a victory in itself.

Final Project: Business Plan.  I’ve never had a problem presenting an idea to a group.  This was a little different.  I felt like I was presenting a piece of myself to the world. It was a little different than I expected.  Thankfully no one threw tomatoes at my head.  I wasn’t boo’d off the stage.  That lets me know I did something right.  It lets me know that I learned what my professors attempted to teach me.  It helped me learn that I could complete a business plan and present it to potential investors.  It taught me that Wingless Entertainment has a viable future.

[philippagoranson]

Essay: Can we move beyond lip service on the art of listening in health care?

Listening in healthcare can be a very complicated matter and concerns many different aspects of healthcare encounters. Even if one spon­taneously asks oneself: is it not the most common sense thing to do? I have been caught up on this topic due to previous bad experiences in healthcare where the lack of listening properly or even listening at all was completely missing – even if I was speaking to a healthcare professional in the same room. After some time I got to read the medical journal, that one of the specific non-listening physicians I had met had been writing and realized I was only being observed. I even remember very clearly hearing myself saying repeatedly: “Can you listen to what I say?” Even that did not help. It just made things worse. It is as if it is up to the healthcare provider to decide when or even if to ask the relevant questions or if they even are going to be asked at all. That way of being from the healthcare provider’s side of things was just pretending to hear. At this point of time in my life, I had had physicians whom all acted likewise – they always excluded what I was trying to communicate and they got it all wrong. Incorrect diagnosis, wrong treatment ideas, no one even tried to put my story together properly. They seemed to want to start the discus­sion from a set of ideas or rules on how to ask questions and what questions to ask that does not always correspond to what the patient really has to say. Their structure of things made their compre­hension of why I even was attempting to get help into complete chaos. Later I came to understand what I had been subjected too and this is part of why listening in healthcare does not always work. The culture of evidence-based medicine is reductive, it simplifies and cannot handle the complexities of life that need to be interpreted and put into context. Evidence-based medicine devalues individual experience. At this early stage, I started to wonder if I no longer could express myself. I have previously been a radio broadcaster and am a verbal person and I like words so that was not the problem. Actually, being a humanities student made me react to this hierar­chical structure very strongly and it made me lose faith towards the realm of healthcare and start to question their knowledge production. If they can’t listen properly what else are they getting wrong about medicine as a scientific field? Are healthcare providers not supposed to be humani­sts too? My idea of the humanist is about meeting the other and this kind of reasoning can be found in diffe­rent philosophical schools of thought. At one point when the lack of listening was exceptionally frustrating, I was asking myself: do we have to make listening in healthcare a human right? That was when I started to go to the university library to find books on other people’s experiences of healthcare and it was very helpful to see other people had noticed the same things as I and, sad to say, had even had even worse encounters than my own. I even started reading books on the medical law to help me get a bigger picture of the idea of healthcare.

In the end, everything turned out, but I had to force my narrative structure and storyline on top of how healthcare providers usually want to be addressed. I was sensing a cultural sensitivity problem and this aspect is imperative to better listening in healthcare too. Interaction is on the linguistic level. I understood I had to find a medical professional that comes from a different culture where the speaking structure is different from the Swedish way. Medical humanities research has also explained that to get the right diagnosis the patient and healthcare provider need to be on the same page when it comes to the use of words and their interpretation and how they are applied to make sense to each other. Not just that, Iona Heath explains in an essay in the BMJ: “Clinicians need to be just this – experts in the feelings we attach to words – otherwise our efforts to communicate with our patients will oscillate between the tedious and the cruel”i. There is also another side to this aspect explained by Dr. Gavin Francis in Aeon magazine “Storyhealing”: “War metaphors in health and healing can be valid, but bringing different ideas to the mind of each patient – an appreciation of storytelling can assist physicians to choose the metaphor that will best help their patients, and also help patients articulate inner experience to their physician.”ii As a patient, one always has a story of some kind that cannot be neglected. My new encounter in healthcare was to become a part of a shift of paradigm in my life. The big difference now in this new encounter also was the attitu­de this person had towards information and sharing ideas with the patient and the appreciation shown towards a complete story as to how I also had come to understand myself. This medical professional happily took everything I had and replied: “Great! Otherwise, I would never have understood!”. At the time it felt like a surprise and that this person was actually listening. I could see it in the facial expression that something else was going on inside of this person. Later this doctor told me he even had one of my illnesses too. What actually happened here was the combination of the how and the why I even got ill and where a medical professional was integrated as in a more interpretive listening process. I was also due to all this going through a change from just being a passive patient into a combination of what is known to be called the healthcare consumer (knowing my patient’s rights and becoming better informed) and being the expert patient (knowing how to strategically manage myself through the healthcare system). This was something I had to learn by myself. One needs to be empowered before even being listened to properly in healthcare.

I have read a big amount of patient experience books, pathologies, medical humanities research and research by the nursing science. I do not even have to look far into social media to stumble across a Twitter account defending patient’s rights where the beholder of the account defines the account with a message that says: “I am not a slave; I will not comply to tyranny”. Not being listened to is tyranny. On Twitter, I have also come to know the phenomenon called the patient’s voice. The fact that this has appeared also shows it is close to a human’s rights issue. The concept of the patient’s voice can be interpreted as the downside of the patient’s status in healthcare. The attempt of the patients’ voice is about something else. Patient’s Voice is about change and is challen­ging to the healthcare structure. The patient’s voice phenomenon wants to create a better awareness on how hard thing can get for a patient and is a way of questioning what is not working. On a personal level, it can also be about just being listened to in healthcare in a one-to-one situation. The idea of doctors’ ears is not being used very much on social media to debate the lack of listening in healthcare. At least not yet.

There are a variety of hashtags on Twitter and one even explicitly concerned with listening to patients’ #listentopatients. It is as if healthcare providers have a particular form of hearing im­pairment. Hearing is easily something that can get mixed up with listening. Listening is a much more complex process than just hearing. The big difference between hearing and listening is that listening is part of a hermeneutic process that integrates both intellectual and emotional capacities to extract the correct meaning.

How can patients be perceived through the lens of listening instead? A listening culture or feature is about trust. Researchers have come to regard, especially three components as most important to listening: empathy, being inclusive and supportive. This is not easily handled in healthcare. Still, is it not just common sense?

Over and over again, I see the same thing being pronounced and debated about healthcare and the big problem with not being able to deliver the right care and attending or even listened to. Head­line such as: “Healthcare has to be able to listen to patients” just appeared the other day in the Swedish daily newspaper Svenska Dagbladetiii. The headline concerned a report from the Swedish authority that analyses healthcare from the point of view of the population, Myndigheten för Vårdanalys, “Vården ur befolkningens perspektiv” (Healthcare from the point of view of the population). Only one third agree to that Swedish healthcare is actually working. There is an international comparison and Sweden is not the worst country in the world but the strangest thing is that Sweden, in general, is understood as a democratic country, not in the healthcare setting. The level of patient participation is 69 %. Germany is ranked as best on patient participation by 87 %. Do healthcare professionals explain things so patients understand? 78 % of the Swedish population responded positively. In Australia, 93 % of the population responded positively to having being addressed comprehensively. Only 43 % of the Swedish population says doctors even discuss treatment options and risks. Australia ranks highest at 69 % in this regard in the report. Only 23 % of Swedish patients get a care plan to help them navigate their care. In France, the population says yes to this by 53 %. This just to give some examples. The study is the results from The Commonwealth Fund International Health Policy Surveyiv. Why are the cultural differences as big as they are? Does it have to do with if a country has a national health literacy strategy or not? More in-depth political, cultural and historical processes can give explanations beyond that I am sure.

What I am missing from this Myndigheten för Vårdanaly is the phenomenon the patient’s voice – the struggle people have in the healthcare process. How hard it can be to even get the correct diagnosis and integrated care needed. At some point, these repetitive stories people have need to stop. An article by Tiffany Simms,”When ‘Once Upon a Time’ gives us more than a story” gives a very good account of these problems and the problems patients encounter in terms of not being listened too. Tiffany is discussing from the listening point of view and her example concerns people with autoimmune disease and how many years it can take for the patient to even get the correct diagnosis. In the meantime, many are being really badly treated even when it just comes to communicating. It is sort of like a battlefield about what symptoms seem to be real or not or how they can be interpreted and Tiffany adds: “Even when patients are listened to, healthcare providers only care for the symptoms and leave root causes unaddressed.” Lab reports trump patient experiences. Or as Tiffany is explaining and I am sure many patients or their next-of-kin will recognize themselves in the following statement: “A doctor should be a partner in making you healthy, but for the most part I feel on my own. I feel like a doctor should say, ‘Okay let’s start with the most natural, least invasive way to help you heal, and if we need to go to a stronger regimen then we will’ instead, it’s always ‘here’s a medication with worrying side effects. Next, please”v.

If I go hunting on different social media channels or patient engagement accounts for patient advocacy, health literacy, patient participation, patient associations, individual patient bloggers, and even medical professionals – they are more or less telling the same story of what a catastrophe the lack of listening is in healthcare. Have we really looked deeper into what this lack really is about?

It is not about the lack of soft skills. I just need to look closer at what narrative medicine is about and the threat against it to understand how hard listening in healthcare is. On Wikipedia the obstacles against narrative medicine goes like this: “People who are physicians have been trained to believe, that it is a scientific objectivity that makes them most effective, in their efforts to un­der­stand and resolve the pain that others bring them, and a mental distance that protects them from becoming wounded from the difficult work. Objectivity, empathy, and global thinking are stated not to be incompatible with a degree of dissociation from the patient’s suffering that is sufficient to protect oneself.”vi It is not only that. I have looked at textbooks that are passed out for educational use on patient communication and these texts always look good. The bigger problem against listening in healthcare is what is being said and can be taught in medical education classes. I even attended a medical class once just to see for myself what is going on and what is being said and how long it takes to see and hear how healthcare professionals are taught not to respond to patients and to deliberately not pass diagnosis out even if that is what a patient seems to have. I only needed to be a fake medical stu­dent for one medical class and it all happened within ten minutes. I know this is not represen­tative for the whole, at the time I told myself I do not need to see more because I was sure it might even get worse if I saw or heard more. The culture of oppression in healthcare is real. My observations can be confirmed with the help of the medical memoirs of the Swedish novelist and doctor P. C. Jersild. In his memoirs, he explains how it usually works, when and how doctors are taught not to listen to the patient’s story. When practitioners train medical students in the healthcare setting, they also teach them how not to listen. If a medical student tries to be attentive and lets the patient speak from beginning to finish the teaching practitioner, will make sure to correct the medical student and then make sure to show how the patient’s voice is not allowed by being interrupted as soon as possiblevii. This is just one part of the problem with listening in healthcare. Other sides of these non-listening behaviors are actually even stranger than what has just been said. Doctors are train­ed to think thematically and they at times do not even let the patients explain themselves. Doctors are not trained in how to make meaning out of how a patient narrates. Already just on their way to greet a patient in the waiting room, they can have decided beforehand what the pati­ent has or that patient does not have anything at all. At least 20 % of all misdiagnosis are due to this kind of error in thinking strategies according to Dr. Jerome Groopman. Doctors do not want to interact with people with mental illness conditions. Doctors do not even want to interact with people who cannot communicate properlyviii. I remember sitting in a waiting room and a woman next to me grabbed my arm and asked what is wrong with doctors. It is as if they already have made up their mind on what one is seeking help for even before one has had the chance to explain oneself. The healthcare setting is disturbing and constructed in such a way that it actually creates harm. It is not easy to make oneself heard in this environment.

In the healthcare debate, there are very many different managerial concepts that might just help make things worse. Sometimes it almost seems like different managerial concepts for healthcare are most suited for debate and not the reality of healthcare. The debate is of course very interesting to follow, but does it really help? Are these concepts really helping to reshape the culture of healthcare? The situation is very ad hoc concerning who actually listens to the patient or not. All these different managerial concepts are tiresome. And the only thing they really have to do it to listen to the patient to get it right. Physicians often deliberately choose not to take into account what the patient actually is saying and why it counts. Even when a patient is just trying to give correct information or add on details that have been lost in the continuum of the healthcare process.

The debates I have been reading concern the following concepts:

New Public Management. The patient is currency.

Patientcenteredcare. The patient is an individual. The patient is interpreted by others.

Valuebasedcare. The patient reported outcomes measures. Doing the right thing. Patient participation.

Personcenteredcare. A holistic approach to the patient’s life and health issue/s. Patient awareness.

Healthcare providers do not discuss prognosis or what the patient can do to improve their quality of life. The providers do not even explain what steps are to come next regarding treatment plans. They do not let the patient be involved in how to help the patient also help themselves to better healthcare outcomes. Listening to patients is also about giving patients the right kind of infor­ma­tion at the right time. The other day I read a blog entry by the most prominent Swedish e-patient Sweden even has, Sara Riggare.

Sara Riggare explains that being an informed patient is a provocation. She uses herself as an example to show how the culture of healthcare works to force her to diminish herself instead of making her more competent or even feel better. Just trying to ask well-informed ques­tions is a provocation on the healthcare structure. Instead of being able to knowingly being a part of a patientcentreredcare situation where the physician actually listens to her questions she is for­ced into a physciancentered way of managing herself and it makes her play the role of being ignorant. The culture of healthcare is always very apparent for a patient and Sara Riggare has learned she has to play by the rules as of an Albert Einstein quote: “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.ix” Sara Riggare is an empowered patient who only wanted to be listened to. She just had concerns regarding medical research in regards to herself. The saying goes that listening is a key to leadership. Suzanne Gordon explains in a BMJ Opinion article: “Research shows that hierarchy, by its very nature, dramatically reduces speaking up by those lower down in the pecking order. We are hard-wired, then socialized, to be acutely sensitive to power, and to work to avoid being seen as deficient in any way by those in power.x”

A tweet concerning what patient empowerment is about also revealed how physicians misinterpret a well-informed patient and patient empowerment due to the hierarchical culture of healthcare: “Empowerment isn’t about bestowing one’s power on another. It’s education so they find their own power.” Team. Intake-Me retweeted @Intakeme

Another way of putting it more nicely concerning listening in healthcare is how Sharon Roman explains herself in the British Medical Journal: “While years of experience may make way for a knowledgeable doctor, years of listening help make a great one. I am aware that I may talk too much, but I also need to feel heard.” There is more to it than this. Often a practitioner will think he/she has seen it all before. Sharon adds on: “Listen to what I have to say without preju­dice, not racing ahead to the answer you may or may not already know”. Sharon then explains patients have to be let to ask questions, even if the questions are no good, answer anyway xi.

I have been listening to stories in healthcare and listening still seems to be something that mostly happens by chance. Dr. Alicia Conill shows a typical example of that when one of her patients takes her off guard by making her listen to her patient’s story. Dr. Alicia Conill concludes on listening in healthcare that: “Listening to someone’s story costs less than expensive diagnostic testing but is key to healing and diagnosis” xii.

The biggest obstacle for a better culture of listening in healthcare is the hierarchical structure and how doctors are trained to have the status of a God. At times, it can even be worse than this be­cau­se this Godlike doctor does not even talk to the other semi-Gods in the healthcare setting or care to listen to when the patient explain why they need a certain treatment. This makes the doc­tor the same thing as an autocrat. The someone listened to. Not the listener. This is the oppo­site of what a culture of listening is about. I have read a patient story about exactly that when an anesthesiologist refused to listen even if there are national guidelines on how to proceed and it was exactly how the patient was explaining why the treatment she already was on was essential to her before surgery. The problem being the anesthesiologist was trying to remove it. The medical professional’s response went like this: “I am not going to let this happen – a patient is trying to tell me how I am supposed to do my job.” The author Åsa Moberg who wrote about it called her article: Doctor’s prestige is lethal xiii.

I want to focus on the most typical concepts used and the Sara Riggare blog entry put it into place. The dichotomy patientcentric versus physciancentric. If you take a closer look and think about these definitions you should be able to see how narcissistic they both are. The idea or ideals of listening in healthcare need to be rethought and restructured in terms of communication struct­ures. Communication is still seen as speaking “which unfortunately is still a phallogocentric enterprise” according to reasoning on the practice of interlistening by Jaishikha Nautiyal in the Inter­national Journal of Listening demonstrates that since nobody listens to this it wrecks the cultural practice of listening itself. We need to make way for the Silent Other in the part of the listening process. Communication is a lost project. “And while speech thinks that it is whole and healthy, it does not realize that the denial of listening as a lost and melancholic object only thrives in the pathologies of speech. In sickness and in health: there is no speaking and thinking without liste­ning”. Patients are often interrupted within seconds. There is almost no room for them to voice their concerns properly. No time to stop and think and for the healthcare provider to really under­stand what good listening can do to enhance their own professionalism. I have seen figures saying patients in Sweden get 18 seconds to explain themselves, in France 23 seconds and appa­rently in England as much as 54 seconds before they are interrupted. The act of listening is both an empathic and an ethic approach toward the Other. The problem in the healthcare culture in regar­ds to listening is that it is not seen as an active process. In traditional communication theories, lis­te­ning is excluded from the participatory dimensions of sensing in communicative experiences. “There is a homological pattern to the absence of listening from the academic discipline of com­munication that privileges speech acts and speech making”xiv. This is also typical of the culture of the west. This way of thinking mirrors democratic processes in the western school of thought. So, is a culture of listening in terms of democracy going to come from the East? Or am I just stuck in stereotypes…

Dr. Danielle Ofri explains from her book presentation on “What patients say, what doctors hear” that doctors do not wish to let patients voice their concerns properly because they think it will take too much time. A study she comments upon explains that patients do not really need as much time as doctor’s fear. The patient really needs something between one and a half minute and four minutes to explain themselves properly. She also adds on that doctors loathe informed patients. Even if the debates say they are for. Doctors prefer to work against this development xv. The art of listening in healthcare has still a very long way to go. Some time ago Sara Riggare posted on Twitter that if she only did as her health provider said she would be worse off. Sara Riggare also added in that healthcare providers need to be more attentive to patient information needs. The fact that she is a successful patient is because she at least is listening to herself and making sure she is properly informed. No wonder people are all over the Internet, health apps and social media. The Internet always gives the impression of listening. The biggest truth of them all is that it is not a health professional who is the best listener. A fellow patient is often the one who best understands another patient’s needs. One just has to start hunting on different social media and find bloggers to realize how it all really works out. Being a listening officer on the Internet is mind blowing in this regard. Another example I can add in to make you, the reader, think a bit more is from when I a few years ago I read an article in The Language of Caring about a cancer specialist who herself was attained by cancer. She stated that it was first after being a patient herself that she truly understood what patients need to know. My question to this is: why does medical training not include this or even think it by itself? Why is medical education not teaching listening to patients? Today it is all still called communi­cation. How much can narrative medicine really help to turn the culture of healthcare into a listening one?

What do we actually need as a remedy against the non-listening culture in healthcare? The culture of listening is about openness and awareness. Still, maybe we need a managerial concept or policy of listening in healthcare. If we do not think about it before acting upon it nothing will change. Change can start bottom up or top down. The culture of healthcare needs a serious shift towards what the culture of listening is about. I am not sure it is going to work by itself from the bottom up.

Health policy, in general, is based on evidence-based medicine and founded on utilitarianism or egalitarianism and the values of clinicians are hopefully deontological. The last commitment is, according to Iona Heath, “poorly understood and little appreciated by policy makers, whose priorities relate to population or societal levels. Yet, without this foundation in deontology, patients would find themselves unable to trust clinicians, with less efficiency at societal level”xvi.

There is a need to make way for change. A policy is needed since there also is a need to be able to evaluate. To begin, the deve­lo­pment of patient policy to make sure legislation and organizations act accor­ding to how a liste­ning policy that empowers patients and at the same time enhances professiona­lism of healthcare providers to become better listeners. The making of listening policy sculptured to align the patient experience in accordance with what modernized patient participation is. Patients need to be included in the making of listening policies. It is time to move beyond lip service on the art of listening in healthcare.

©Philippa Göranson, Lund, Sweden, March 2017

I am open to the idea if others want to share this blog content on other publication forums but I ask to be contacted first and want to know where I am agreeing to before and want a reference. A shortened version can also be discussed as long as the meaning of this text is not altered.

This essay is originally written for http://www.globallisteningcentre.org/ and published by them.

This essay has been published as an entry on Sweden's first patient association for patient safety http://www.patientperspektiv.org/ Patientperspektiv on Twitter: @PatientPersp

This essay has been published on the Dahlborg Healthcare Leadership Group. Thomas Dahlborg is Studer Group Coach & Speaker, President of DHLG & Author of the forthcoming book: From Heart to Head and back again. Thomas Dahlborg is debating on the cause of relationship-centered care and empathy in healthcare. Thomas Dahlborg on Twitter: @tdahlborg

This essay has been published on Healthcocreation forum in Spain. Healthcocreation is part of the first Patient Experience Institute in Spain iexp. One of the founders Carlos Bezos Daleske has made this happen. On Twitter: @Carlos_Bezos

References:

Dr. Alicia Connell, www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storytold=100062673

Suzanne Gordon, blogs.bmj.com/bmj/2017/01/26/Suzanne-gordon-on-soliciting-input-not-just-listening

Dr. Jerome Groopman, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3XxS-p31qY

Dr. Jerome Groopman, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0AEGnQ0L5s

Dr. Gavin Francis, https://aeon.co/essays/medicine-and-literature-two-treatments-of-the-human-condition

Iona Heath, http://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i5705?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Dr. P.C. Jersild, Mina Medicinska Memoarer, Albert Bonniers Förlag, Stockholm, 2006

Åsa Moberg, https://turtagning.wordpress.com/2015/11/08/lakares-prestigelystnad-kan-fa-dodlig-utgang

Myndigheten för Vårdanalys, www.vardanalys.se/Rapporter/2016/Varden-ur-befolkningens-perspektiv-2016--jamforelser-mellan-Sverige-och-tio-andra-lander

Jaishikha Nautiyal, www.tandfoline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10904018.2016.1149773

Dr. Danielle Ofri, http://www.youtube.com/watch+v=mv0R2PXZHSQ

Sara Riggare, www.riggare.se/2017/02/18/patientcentrerad-eller-personcentrerad-vard-for-lakarcentrerade-patienter

Sharon Roman, blogs.bmj.com/bmj/2017/02/28/sharon-roman-notes-from-the-less-comfortable-chair

Tiffany Simms, https://tincture.io/when-once-upon-a-time-gives-us-more-than-a-story-f312734c2382#.5o7ttqfk0

Svenska Dagbladet, www.svd.se/sjukvarden-maste-kunna-lyssna-påa-patienterna

Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_medicine

Footnotes:

i http://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i5705?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

ii https://aeon.co/essays/medicine-and-literature-two-treatments-of-the-human-condition

iii www.svd.se/sjukvarden-maste-kunna-lyssna-påa-patienterna

iv www.vardanalys.se/Rapporter/2016/Varden-ur-befolkningens-perspektiv-2016--jamforelser-mellan-Sverige-och-tio-andra-lander

v https://tincture.io/when-once-upon-a-time-gives-us-more-than-a-story-f312734c2382#.5o7ttqfk0

vi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_medicine

vii P.C. Jersild, Mina Medicinska Memoarer, Albert Bonniers Förlag, Stockholm, 2006

viii https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3XxS-p31qY & https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0AEGnQ0L5s

ix www.riggare.se/2017/02/18/patientcentrerad-eller-personcentrerad-vard-for-lakarcentrerade-patienter

x blogs.bmj.com/bmj/2017/01/26/Suzanne-gordon-on-soliciting-input-not-just-listening

xi blogs.bmj.com/bmj/2017/02/28/sharon-roman-notes-from-the-less-comfortable-chair

xii www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storytold=100062673

xiii https://turtagning.wordpress.com/2015/11/08/lakares-prestigelystnad-kan-fa-dodlig-utgang

xiv www.tandfoline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10904018.2016.1149773

xv http://www.youtube.com/watch+v=mv0R2PXZHSQ

xvi http://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i5705?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

[ripplestitchskein]

I have a lot of Anons in my inbox right now. Far too many to answer individually so blanket statements for Nonnie's: Thank you for your support lovelies who sent me nice things or further examples (like Liam and the navy thing, Regina getting credit for Neverland etc). I'm glad that I'm helping a portion of the fandom who maybe aren't seeing their feelings represented elsewhere. I really do appreciate it. I know it's very popular to attack those who are displeased and cast them as ungrateful or whining or pointlessly worrying so seeing a different perspective can help when you just aren't as excited and see things from a different point of view beyond the surface shiny things that don't have meaning if they aren't backed up in the overall story. This show and the creators are very rage inducing and frustrating if you are a fan of Hook, and just want him to get a fraction of the same things other characters receive. Did I give more credence to one line in one interview than is probably deserved? Maybe, I can see the validity of some of the counter arguments, but for ME it was just another piece of evidence from several seasons of disregard both on the show and on Twitter/interviews. My view of the motivations behind those things are just my opinion for why they do it. So it's nice of you guys to let me know that IM not alone either. Thank you. For the other Anons that might be arguing against my POV, I'm willing to discuss it if you provide specific examples that aren't just the same trite "of course they love Hook", "of course they wouldn't do that". I'm willing to listen but so far all I'm seeing are platitudes and the party line in my inbox. My issue wasn't with that one statement alone, my issue was with that one statement compounded on the numerous things I listed, which it seems you conveniently ignored and offered no counter examples to? If you are only going to focus on me getting angry about a line in an interview sure that seems out of proportion, but you are deliberately ignoring literally everything else I said and cited from the show. I think people assume motivations a lot of the time, that I only want the show to be about Hook or CS, or put it down to a lack of understanding about how this works or that works, but I can assure you I understand perfectly. Beneath my emotional exterior I consider myself a pretty intelligent person who goes out of her way to understand a lot of things and who makes sure she's not letting emotion always override logic, who is very cognizant of her shortfalls and who knows she doesn't always look at things detached from emotion, and who on the whole, looking at Hook's storylines, even during relatively good seasons like S3 or S5, and the way he is treated in interviews and by the creators on their social media, feels like her viewpoint has merit. I'm not ignoring the good things in favor of the bad. I've acknowledged there are a lot of beautiful moments and squee worthy things, I am the biggest fan of Dark Hook that exists and I have spent many hours writing meta to support this show and some of their decisions. I have defended it over pages and pages and calmed my fair share of fears and given my fair share of justifications. I'm simply stating, especially after 6A, the bad far outweighs the good and that the things I mentioned are not present for any other character, excepting maybe Emma who has gotten her fair share of neglect as well. I've even in the past considered looking at datapoints, screentime, scene breakdowns, storyline focus counts, character specific tweets (a little harder since he deletes them), frequency mentions in interviews, etc but at this point who cares, who has the time? Why spend any more effort on this show defending myself to people who don't matter? If you look at my blog as a whole, from S3 when I started it until now you will see that this isn't just an all of a sudden out of nowhere flip to anger, I loved this show, a lot. It's actually really interesting seeing the progression. At the end of the day you believe what you believe, I believe what I believe and I'll continue to post how I feel and continue to detach from this show. As always I tag everything appropriately, I don't force my views on others, to see them you have to be specifically looking for them in negativity tags since I don't tag mains, or following me. I don't send anon hate, I manage my dash. I do what I'm supposed to in order to make sure that my experience is my experience and I'm not forcing it in others. If you get upset about what I'm writing here that's on you, you don't have to follow me or those tags to read it.

[mariska]

hey everyone. sorry i’ve been gone for a while. life has been really difficult, more-so than usual and i’ve been struggling to do anything social including posting on most of my social media pages. im hopping on because i need a place to vent and i dont have therapy until next thursday but my moms went up to bed and im trying to fight off a panic attack so if ur bothered by vent posts or whatever i wont take any offense if you scroll past this, i dont really even need anyone to read it i just need a place to vent my thoughts out right now

so things have been really hard for me lately. im still fighting to try an get a diagnosis for being on the autism spectrum (and im trying to find as many reliable sources of information about ‘non-traditional’ autism symptoms as i can so if u happen to have anything saved like that i’d super appreciate it if u sent it my way) and i still havent gotten the full results of my neuro/psych eval yet, but my moms are going to have a private meeting with the woman who tested me on wednesday so im crossing my fingers that goes well. today we decided to go to the local renaissance faire as a family and i found an old dress that i bought at the same faire when i was 10 (that was way too big for me at the time but fits me now) to dress up in and did my makeup and took a shower and was all hopeful about that. it took about two and a half hours to get there because traffic was especially awful today so i was a little stir-crazy from being in the car for so long when we got there but managed to pull myself together. it started off really fun and i was enjoying myself, there were multiple places at the faire that did shows every few mins and i watched some dudes joust and watched another guy who was an expert with whips do cool tricks with that and then happened to stumble upon an acrobatics show, there was like one row of seats (like low to the ground wooden bench type seats) left empty around the area so we sat and watched them. when their show ended i went to leave and one of my moms said we needed to stay in that area because my other mom was getting food for them and a water for me and we would lose her if we left. so we turned around on the bench facing the opposite way of the stage so that we could see her if she walked up. i thought about getting up a few times but kept getting distracted because of my shit adhd brain and also someone asked me to take a pic of their family and i was like ‘ok!’ and did that and then sat back down. so anyways my other mom found us and i was like ‘alright lets get going’ and then they sat back down to eat their food and i was like ok. so we continued sitting the way we were sitting and then like 5 mins later i thought i heard someone talking about us behind me???? like ‘look at them, its the whole row. this never happens anywhere else only in massachusetts’ and i turn around and like two girls are staring directly at me who just walked on the stage i guess???? and i was like ‘oh! i’m sorry, i’m totally oblivious, i didn’t know a new show was starting’ and the one who was talking about me looked at me and was like ‘no its fine its just that its so funny how this only happens here and never when we do shows anywhere else. just think thats weird.’ and then turned away and didnt like....start doing the show they were going to do......just continued to try and drum up an extra audience (and also borrowed some persons apple cider from the audience and drank it? i mean they didnt seem to mind so whatever i guess but. uh?) and like their show hadnt actually even started yet so they were still going to set stuff up. and while they turned away and went to the other side of the stage to continue setting stuff up i scooted closer to one of my moms and told her that i was like kind of mortified and really embarrassed and felt like i did something bad and wrong even though i hadnt meant to and that i felt like i was going to cry. so she removed us from the situation and we walked around for a few minutes and i tried to let it go but i really felt (and still continue to feel to this very minute hours and hours later) like i did something bad and was unintentionally rude and my mom told me that she saw and heard them act like that with the other audience people too and that they had just been trying to joke around with the audience in order to drum up more participation for the show that was coming up and that it seemed like part of how they opened the show, with like, snarky humor or whatever? but then i freaked out more because i hadnt even considered it being a joke? and i still dont get if it was meant to be a joke or not? which is part of why i ended up getting so worked up......i really genuinely thought up until today that i had no problem telling when people are purposefully joking around even if its at my expense because i grew up with a lot of sarcasm (new england is like....Extremely sarcastic all the time) but like......i guess not.......if it was a joke i still dont understand it. anyways i completely was unable to keep it together while we were walking around and tl;dr: burst into tears, became extremely extra flustered and embarrassed that i had burst into tears in a very public environment, managed to wipe my eyes and pull it together enough so that i could properly exit the faire with my moms without anyone asking me why i was sad, then immediately burst into tears again after getting in our car and cried the entire way home.

i just feel so embarrassed and flustered still, as of the time im writing this at almost 10 pm. and i cant stop replaying the scene in my head. and i genuinely dont know if i did something wrong or not or if those girls were just joking and heckling the audience or whatever. i dont understand that concept. i feel a lot of shame. im still trying not to burst into tears at the thought of it. and it makes me feel like i shouldnt even bother trying to do nice things for myself outside of my house because it seems like every time i go somewhere other than the mall i end up misunderstanding a situation with something or someone and end up having a complete emotional breakdown about it for the rest of the day, if not the week. im so frustrated with myself and im so frustrated with the way my brain works and i wish i could just process social interaction the same way as everyone else because the rest of the world seems to think this is not a problem for me!!! for whatever reason! i cant stop thinking about today and every time i think ive forgotten about it the memory replays in my head and i feel my chest seize up and i get a sensation to burst into tears again. even now im scared to post this because im afraid that im just like......taking everything too seriously and i sound unjustified in my reaction which i mean....i guess is true....in a way......i dont know. did i do something bad???? i really feel like i did. and i have no way of resolving this problem if i did. i cant stop overthinking this

[alanajacksontx]

Doing backlink building like a ninja: Six best techniques

As SEOs we know outreach for backlinks has to be done in order to give the websites we are working on the backlink authority it needs. With backlinks being one of the top three ranking factors (depending on which study you’re reading) there is definite value in doing outreach.

Although this is made a lot harder thanks to the mysterious world of black hat SEO. Webmasters out there are savvier to the tactics of sending a generic feeling email, and on our part, it’s a lot of work for usually not much return.

This is why I’ve collated a list of some of the ninja backlink outreach tactics I’ve found which work great for most sites. At the heart of most of these techniques is some good exciting content to make your website stand out, as backlinks and content work hand in hand.

So let’s get going and earn our black belt in building backlinks. (Apologies, there will be a few more bad ninja related jokes in this post.)

Six of the best ways to build backlinks

1. Sponsoring a college or university team

Ok so before we get into this first one it does involve a bit of money on yours or your clients part to get the backlink. Although this would usually cost a few hundred pounds to sponsor the team and all you’re asking in return is a backlink from their team page which hopefully if you’ve done the research right will be on a .ac.uk or .edu domain which will naturally have high authority.

2. Skyscraper technique

This one is borrowed from Brian Dean from Backlinko, and you can get more details from him on this here. In essence, this approach involves finding the top piece of ranking linkable content you can find for a search term you’re trying to rank for. Then you build on that idea to make a better version of the piece and reach out to the right people to gain the right exposure.

If someone has created content on the “best top 10 ways to be a ninja” you can go and make a post of the “top 11 ways to be a ninja”. It is key to this technique to make sure that you find the right area and do the correct research, so if you’re working on behalf of a client get their input then do your own research to back up their knowledge.

3. Interview with someone on your website

Yes, this is a way to get backlinks by doing the bulk of the work on your own website. Find an influential person in your industry and convince them to give you an interview for your website. Unless you’re running a website all about celebs, most people within any industry will be flattered that you would want to interview them.

The only stipulation to this is that they will need to have some type of following on social media. This is as it will be as much in their interest to share the content as yours. So once you have the interview share it with your PR and social team, and allow them to share the piece as much as they can, hopefully, you will get some valuable industry related backlinks from this.

4. Create a free tool

Free tools are a great way to gain backlinks, all you have to do is look at the SEO industry for this and find “top free SEO tools” posts to see a list of free tools, some of which have only been created to build authoritative backlinks naturally. These do not need to be anything fancy only something that serves the user. For examples, a mortgage broker creating a mortgage calculator is a simple solution to get targeted traffic on their site and gain backlinks from sites related to mortgages.

5. Create your own data

There is a lot to be said about the impact of data and how this can be used to gain backlinks. Although, what if you have no interesting data you can share to get out into the news? Well, there are ways you can create your own data. There are great sites like Google Surveys where you can ask a set questions to a specified number of people and get back true related data based on your own parameters.

Although — it is what you do with data that counts in gaining backlinks for this technique, once you have completed the post on your website with a snappy clickbait headline. Head over to Reddit and find the most relevant subreddits you can and post your content anonymously to see if it gets picked up. In case it fails to get picked up by any sites, get on Twitter and start contacting local and industry press journalists. Soon enough someone will pick it up.

6. Video transcripts

So this final technique takes its inspiration from Moz’s whiteboard Fridays we all know and love. On every video, it is accompanied by a transcript of the video. As Moz knows, Google finds it very difficult to understand the context of videos, so they provide HTML text that gives a much clearer indicator to Google. This makes their life much easier.

How can you use this to your advantage exactly? Well, all you have to do is find some recent video content from an expert or influencer in your field. Check their site to see if the content is accompanied with a transcript of the video, if not then jackpot! From there create a transcript for the video which is on your own or client’s website.

The last steps involve a quick buttering up of the influencer on Twitter. It could be something along the lines of “Loved the last video, you’re amazing. I have created a transcript for the video if it is useful for anyone, the link is here.” Hopefully, they’ll give a retweet and with the shares of their content comes some shares and backlinks for you.

Conclusion

Hope the whole ninja theme wasn’t too cringy. The main point is that, yes link building is much harder than it used to be a few years ago. And everyone is so tuned out to an email asking for a backlink that they’re just going to ignore them. Still, backlink building can be done. Just think outside the box, be a bit sneaky like a ninja, get creative, and make the best quality content you can for your users.

Mark Osborne is the SEO Manager at Blue Array, with a passion for keeping up to date on the latest goings-on in the SEO world. He can be found on Twitter @MarkSEOsborne.

For more on backlinks, read:

Backlinks vs social shares: How to make your content rank for different SEO metrics

Understanding 14 types of backlinks – ideal SEO boosters + those to avoid

Eight tools you need for backlink generation

The post Doing backlink building like a ninja: Six best techniques appeared first on Search Engine Watch.

from IM Tips And Tricks https://searchenginewatch.com/2019/03/27/backlink-building-six-best-techniques/ from Rising Phoenix SEO https://risingphxseo.tumblr.com/post/183914996045