#im losing my mind im actually going insane

[hellonerf]

endless insanity incoherent shit about ame and love and family(featuring england and cana a bit specifically sorry france i actually do have thoughts about that there but i'm lazy and tired and this is incoherent already)(it didn't start off like that this is honestly like some stream of thought shit hence the incoherence)

some shit when i think about. sorry. colonial ame extremely upset tantrums theres no way england didnt hit him or spank him which would just upset ame more. ame would sulk and wish for england to drop dead because theres not much else he can say or do about the frustration. cana goody two shoes kid would be like why do you have to act out like that so much... ame immediate rage. probably hits cana like GO CRY ABOUT IT!!! and cana cries and then england walks in like America!!! and it just gets worse. but in the end when england has to leave again ame still clings and cries after england is saying his goodbyes. england does feel that he cares about ame deeply, so he does try to show his affection. theres some gap here between the care he shows and his "responsibility as a caretaker" if you will... and he's like a teen dad at this point? with his own shitload of baggage and ideas on responsibility from that baggage. man this family can be so interesting. i love tension

of course. this is just my crazythinking that in situations where, you could say, england's parenting was abusive of sorts, specifically in the physical way, to punish tantrums or etc... i think cana would be inclined to try to play polite kid to avoid punishment. and so he would feel maybe more vindicated? that he's the good example. in this it creates kind of a chasm between england/cana and ame. (why i think mapletea would just drive ame crazy wall smashing head insane, besides that ame already feels jealous/insecure like that anyways no matter what) this feeling is pushed by the revolution where ame and england are Like That, and here again cana sides with england(he's not Fully in it but he does technically side with england, and ame definitely views it like that). to him this is proof... of what you ask? i don't know..... that period where he was on decidedly bad terms with both of them, i always think he's like teenage-losing it about it. won't show it or at least will try not to of course, but it's genuinely something that eats at him so hard. (ame voice Nobody loves me. Everyone should love me. i could probably make that happen.) and ame decides things like that first and foremost with personal relations. this is specific, but im like, i think it's a mental testing he does on people. example, completely without their knowledge, someone's random act can register in his brain as an opposition to him, because his mind decided that's what it means.(somewhere subconscious). so for some time i'd imagine in his mind, that cana and england hated him, or looked down on him, or expected him to wind up dead anyways. ame is never not looking for approval and this fuels that sooooo much. it's like spite and anger and crying and stomping on the ground and in a way grieving. he's staring at the sky like it's unfair. they don't want me in their life. because i'm better than them. i hate them so much.(he wouldn't say it like this to other people, hate is a strong word, and i wouldn't say he hates them here either)

despite his bravado of "whaat? everyone likes me right?" the mental cogs are stuck here no matter what he says. cana loves him, even if it's so frustrating to, cana cares about him deeply. it fucks with ame's brain but he knows this deep down, that cana does love and care about him. at some point too he knows the same for england. but i also think he's like, specifically with cana too when he's specifically being really cynical about relations is like, "oh and he's only around... cause he has to be..." and ame wouldn't entirely be wrong there. and cana would argue so what! do you need a cosmic soulmate love to prove something? and ame is like (yeah i kinda do....). love can't just exist for you right here right now?! cana's love is "invalidated" in this sense. and also it hurts his brain too much to really think about the complexities in his relationship to both england and cana. that they really did care about him, but it's not easy. (hurts his brain... like why is interaction so stressful? why is it complicated? why can't people just go i love you and the end?). ame is not a romantic person but i think his view on love can get so fantastical like this. (he wants to be the one proposed to awwww omg you guysss...) at the same time it's a very simple view on love. he doesn't want to end up humiliated and is willing to humiliate others to avoid it. if love is true then there is One True Love... For him... JK! NOT FOR HIM!(slurps soda) who needs that shyit!!!(eats burger). a lot of things he can't/really doesn't want to accept. this is why i'd say anytime he ever felt feelings significant enough that even he would call it love it was mindnumbingly overwhelming. putting his eggs in one basket... don't fail me now!!! (and i always think none of his relationships are stable. duh. so). i like fics where ame is made to be like a crazy ex girlfriend. because he would. rather than love as a constant thing to do it sometimes feels more like an achievement or endpoint for him. something that happens at the end of movies lol... if love was happening REALTIME it'd be surreal for him to process. and like true genuine love not his fake idea of what love looks like

[holdfastperseus]

Okay there’s been rumors going around in Twitter that in the og script of eps 5 Loki kissed Mobius on the cheek. But after shooting the entire episode eric martin (head writer for loki) was told from the studio that he needed to re wrote the entire episode even though it’s been shot. So wtf I’m losing my mind . If this is actually true then I’m breaking into marvel to steal those clips. Also if this is true maybe this is the real reason why they won’t let Owen talk in any interview because he’ll be like “oh yeah we actually filmed a kiss scene for episode 5 but they re wrote the entire episode”.

Link to post here (x) (x)

[lesbianpegbar]

chainsaw man season 1 episode 1 moodboard

[wongwh0re]

them once again hehe

[concretesweetner]

bro found you

[orv-quotes-tournament]

ORV Quotes Tournament Round 2

Plain text:

Ch 551: The Eternity and Epilogue (Complete): ⸢There are three ways to survive in a ruined world.⸥ … ⸢I’ve forgotten a few by now. However, one thing’s for certain.⸥ … ⸢And that is, the you reading these words will get to survive.⸥ ⸢This story is for just that one reader.⸥

Ch 535: Author's Words, IV: The man who came to her 1863rd regression turn. The man who she wanted to see again. The detestable man with his own brand of ass-kissing. The man who lied really easily. The man who she enjoyed being around, since they could lie about something together and snicker among themselves. The man, who didn't remember her.

Ch 256: Entrance as a Character, II: [The constellation 'Demon King of Salvation' is looking at you.] It was a star that never appeared in the last two rounds. Then why? Yoo Joonghyuk felt like the star had been there for a long time. Yoo Joonghyuk declared, "Get lost, Kim Dokja." Then one of the stars in the sky really went out. “...Kim Dokja?" There was no answer from Kim Dokja.

[murmurmurl]

mentally eel

[jadelemonadee]

THINKING about this right now. if you even CARE

[nostalgic-soda]

I WIN AT LIFE, I WIN AT EVERYTHING I FUCKING WON TODAY, IM SO HAPPY, BLESS THE WORLD, THANK YOU MISTER FATHER MATT JOLLY FOR THIS DELICIOUS FUCKING FOOD

[skitskatdacat63]

I literally can't stop thinking about this sequence of pictures, actually completely brainrotting me

[fluffylixie]

im hyperfixating so bad on pathologic like im actually going insane

[awesomecoolswaggirl]

reasons why i am literally max caulfield

i'm a teenage girl with brown shoulder lengthed hair

i got bullied and called shy in school

i only have a few very close friends

i have ocd/maladaptive daydreaming disorder and i literally live in my head (yes she has these 2. i said so okay?)

i have my own weird little inside joke sayings that are probably very confusing to the average person

my nose is always bleeding for no reason

i like art/different aesthetics

i am a nerd (self proclaimed)

i use tumblr (reason enough)

i'm smart but i don't use my smarts on schoolwork/grades

i've been told i'm smart and mature for my age because i don't like partying and drinking/smoking/"regular teenager stuff" when in reality i'm just a silly girl who stays in my room all day long and doesn't see the appeal in that stuff

i'm extremely nosy and yes i will internet stalk you because you liked one of my posts

i isolate myself with music and then vent out and call it a meltdown because i physically cant cry

apparently shes in iep and i was in something like that (im homeschooled now btw)

i wear the same thing everyday and i dress very average even though i want to dress cool

i'm constantly analyzing everything around me

[wexhappyxfew]

me, waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat - if judy becomes the turret ball gunner for rosie’s riveters does that mean she goes down with him???!!!???!!!??

UM SO THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE UMMMMMMM?!???!?

how did it not enter my brain that this was even a POSSIBILITY of what was to come i-

KATE, FRIEND, I’M-

i’m fine. i am. im fine (i just died on the inside reading this but something awakened in my brain at ALL the potential angst because HOLY SHIT I GOTTA START WORKING WITH THIS HEHEHEEEE) um so i’m totally fine about this (dying). totally valid reason to be up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat over because haha SAME.

THE POSSIBILITIES. what if i said seeing this in the morning gave me the ANGSTIEST IDEA HEHE 😭😭😭😭 though the thought HURTS and PAINS me, i am absolutely bowing down and thanking u for this SWEET TREAT. because. ahem. yes. yes yes yes. THIS IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!

(and you are absolutely correct. she does go down with him too)

[landofgay]

I think I should be allowed to die if I contribute nothing to society except making everyone feel bad and being awful.

[sittinginsunflowers]

I never thought the piece of art that would most perfectly capture the complicated, loving, and fraught relationship between mothers and daughters with generational trauma would be a fucking d&d campaign about stoats and nuclear power plants.

Like at it’s core this is the story of exile, filled with all the generational trauma and grief that comes with it. In just seconds, they lost everything they’ve ever known but each other. They lost their childhood homes, their community, and their way of life. All to find that the thing they were taught to respect and thought was an offer of safety, was just secrets, control, and more danger than they’ve ever known.

People joked for years that Brennan made capitalism the big bad, and then Aabria turned around and went “what if we give communism a turn?”

[autismvampyre]

rewatching doctor who rn and im on season 6 and i might be losing my mind