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#im not adult enough to deal with this where's adam
zesstie · 1 year
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keith doesn't trust people having a sharp object close to him, so he has to cut his hair himself. he has a mullet bc he isn't able to reach the back of his head to cut his hair, so he only does the front and trims the bottom of the back where he's able to reach. once, shiro offered to cut his hair, and keith trusted him enough at that point. but he had grown fond of the hairstyle and continued doing it himself.
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mahuhumaling · 5 months
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changes i liked and disliked in the rwrb movie 📨
ohmygod. i'm finally gonna talk about this movie, aren't i? i've held myself off from making original creations like video or photo edits for this piece of media, and i still am, because i feel like if i start making one i won't stop, but i think a textpost can be an exception because i've made tweets and threads about it on twitter already.
anyway, i just wanted to rattle off on these since these opinions have been simmering up on me since the movie first came out. lol i watched it 15 hours later on a whim with bar-in-hell expectations. karma got to me, because i ended up getting brainrot over it.
this is a long overdue post.
the aging up is both a yes and a no for me. a yes because i have previously never been opposed to aging up YA characters (technicaly rwrb is more new adult that young adult but whatever, it's teetering) like shadowhunters, and matthew does a great job of justifying this choice: grounding their romance into a more mature and real love. it's not to say that young love isn't valid or real enough, but the decision to make firstprince in their late 20s makes the discussion of forever and their adamant to fight for their love is more realistic and believable. with that said, it's also a no for me because their ages are also detrimental to the timeline and character arcs. for instance, henry's grief hits him like a ten wheeler as a teenager, and the whole explanation that casey writes for his grief is that he expected to deal with something as magnanimous as that kind of loss when he's older and not when his brain hasn't even fully developed. another instance is alex's having to grapple with his career choices after college!
matthew's best change is quite possibly firstprince exchanging the key and the ring. hands down, much better. i do understand that since the novel is in third person limited (alex's pov), it makes sense at a literary level (lol) for alex to own both the key and the necklace ("two homes side by side" is a BANGER line), but the equal complete devotion that the two have for each other at that point is excellent through that showcase of exchange. i own part of you, you own part of me. it's such a great display for the trope of "token of love." romcoms are back, baby! cinema is back!
worst change, then, is probably alex's parents being still happily married and in love. my hot take is that i understand why june was cut out and she's not a huge loss, compared to alex growing up as a child of divorce. making that change to alex having parents who are still together removes a huge dimension to alex's characterization because a lot of his issues stem from that, mainly his abandonment issues. you can see the full effect in the scene where he storms the kensington palace. i understand and respect it, matthew essentially explaining that because this was a different henry, then this was a different alex to — that he needed to be softer. he was more pleasing, desperate, confused with "can we please talk?" instead of the brash "your royal fucking highness!" because that's what it is: confusion. movie!alex couldn't fully understand why someone would just up and leave like that, whereas book!alex was immediately angry because he knows full well when someone leaves him. (*ahem* his dad) but anyway someone discusses it here in such great detail and i very much agree!
oh another good change is showing henry's pov during the email leak. nicholas... sir... ugh. fine, we're getting you that damn oscar. but seriously, he did great. t'was devastating seeing his face crumble, and the one show/display of roual authority, of hot flash of anger, of power, just to talk to alex was even sadder because that was the only time he uses it.
another yes and no change for me is "history huh." the placement of the most popular line from being im the email to being said out loud privately for the two of them is something i'm divided about. yes: there is a great deal of comfort that comes with henry getting to hear that from alex's own lips. it's very sweet and romantic and yeah tbh tbh i would've melted into a puddle right then and there. that there is a comfort that comes with at least that wasn't taken away from them. but no: the whole point of that being in the email (along with bad metaphors, an incomplete list, the story of the prince born with his heart on the outside of his body, etc.) is that these two's privacy was violated. the whole world read those words that were just meant for the two of them, but the public ended up using that line for their banners and flags and signs. and it's important why? it was then made into a form of reclamation. that even if they went through shit and worried about the consequences of being public figures, that there was hope that at least a surprisingly large number of the general public voiced their support, that they were backed by the people they were serving. removing that from the email in the movie... well, you get the rest.
should the height difference even be talked about? that's a factor that is 80% outside of anyone's control lmao??? but i do think it's worth noting that i've grown kinda fond with it that now i imagine taylor & nick's physical builds when reading firstprince fanfics plus having a taller alex who has a height complex instead of a shorter alex who has a height insecurity is so fucking funny. what a great running gag. the gaslighting of the audience into thinking henry is taller is 10/10. best lampshading ever, actually.
henry standing up for himself to the king is both a yes and no too. yes: matthew's justification is pretty nice. not only does it save them production costs to hire a princess catherine actress and pacing issues, it also makes sense narratively. the movie has written henry as voiceless throughout it really well, so for him to save himself is a great reason for why. but also it's a no for me because it's equally important that catherine the negligent mother starts compensating for her absences by battling generational conflict lmao. there's also the factor of a woman saving a man too! the rwrb universe emphasizes quite well about how henry and alex are surrounded by these powerful female figures who are near and dear to them in their lives. to grow up learning from them. point is, movie!henry standing up for himself is a nice choice because he's older. and at the same time, book!henry being supported by her mother is a great choice because he needed to be affirmed with a larger support system in his younger age.
making henry the one to clarify at first that their relationship should be casual instead of alex is a big yes for me. the mixed signals henry does in the book makes for borderline inconsistent characterization, but he's younger there so it makes sense for us to be confused. but henry in the movie "explaining himself to alex for the past year" is a great cleaning up because at the start, henry has been clear on "ok but we can't do this long term."
this has been sitting on my drafts for too long (weeks) so i'll just post this now. and maybe update it, idk. this post feels too incomplete but i don't want to sit on it, so. whatever here it is. 🤣
edit:. i discovered this amazing podcast who talk about it in great detail and 90% of their opinions i agree with! imm frothing at the mouth with how they describe and reason with each change and i just 🥺 want to share how cool they are. [part 1, part 2]
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degrassi for the tv show ask 🥰 and if you want since it's not on the list - game of thrones? (although sansa is ofc the only character that counts 😇)
Yay thank you! I'll do both but it's gonna be so uneven lol. Like there's a million Degrassi things worth mentioning and also my GOT knowledge is so fuzzy so... not gonna be much there lmao. But whatever Degrassi is the superior show anyway, duh
Degrassi -
favorite male character: Jay, Tristan, Eli, Miles, Marco, Zig, Jimmy, Drew, Tiny, Connor, Dallas... So many (mostly) good boys
favorite female character: Manny, Alli, Alex, Bianca, Clare for the drama lol, Maya, Fiona, Imogen, Zoe, Jenna, Holly J, Jane, Liberty... That's enough lol
least favorite character: So so so many. Dave, KC, Esme, Frankie, Lola, Ellie, KATIE, Dylan. Then like anyone who should be in jail like Peter, Derek, Hunter, Luke (who was in jail yay) and any adult that had a relationship with one of the students
prettiest character: Manny! Alli also. And Alex until she got that nose job lol
funniest character: So hard to focus on comedy when so much of this show makes me miserable alskfjslks. JT is an obvious one. Moe. Also Jake when he started smoking pot asjsalkfs. A lot of them make me laugh but not for reasons I should be laughing lmao
favorite season: Hmm that's a hard one. Probably like 9-13?? The Clare era. But there's honestly something happening all the time like there's hardly a dull moment. Except all of Next Class, no one needs to see that
favorite episode: Again I just binge this show so much that it all runs together and I don't really remember episode titles lol. For some serious episodes, Rick shooting up the school, and then the one dealing with the aftermath of Cam's suicide. For some fun ones, Degrassi Goes Hollywood (mainly the Manny plot) (even tho that also makes me cry), the bottle ep that's an homage to the Breakfast Club, and the Vegas Night ep is ridiculously iconic
favorite romantic ship: JANNY. I knew they got together before they did and I was literally like "nope sorry im never gonna ship this" well. Here we are. Also love Fiona/Imogen, Alli/Dallas, Connor/Jenna, Tristan/Miles, Drew/Bianca, and Eli/Clare, bc they were so dramatic you have to love them
favorite family ship: Again I hate all these awful awful parents so no one there. Maybeee Adam and Drew? Aww and Dallas and Rocky, and Mia and Isabella <3
favorite friend ship: Fiona and Eli, JT and Toby, Alex and Jay, Adam with Eli and Clare, Tristan with Maya and Zoe
worst ship: Any adult dating a teenager, obviously. All the actual abusive ones (which includes Zig and Esme [put him in the hospital], Jenna and KC [criminal negligence], and Drew and Katie [rapist]). Frankie and anyone, Peter and anyone, Ellie and anyone alskjfslkfs. Miles and Lola, Alli and Dave, I could be here forever talking about this so I'll stop <3
GOT -
favorite male character: Hodor. And Sam, Sam was nice. Aaand Grey Worm ig
favorite female character: SANSA STARK QUEEN OF THE NORTH BABYYY. I also like Margaery, Brienne, Olenna, Catelyn, Shae, and Missandei
least favorite character: Daenerys Flopgaryen. And like all the obvious ones - Joffrey, Ramsay, Petey, whoever. At least they were good villains lol
prettiest character: All the ladies I listed above <3
funniest character: Umm Olenna?? She had all those sick burns lol
favorite season: literally couldnt even tell you
favorite episode: the one where joffrey dies is pretty fun. and the red wedding. uhh the battle of the bastards? that was a good battle i think
favorite romantic ship: Sansa and me <3 i really couldnt tell you this either lmao idk
favorite family ship: the tyrell family? rip
favorite friend ship: sansa and margaery
worst ship: all of them tbh. special shout out to dany x khal and dany x jon bc people actually like those lol
send me a show!
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shorkbrian · 3 years
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Babysitter
Prelude - I do not understand how some people get turned on by spanking, but I still respect that kink. I could never lol I just think back to the days where I got spanked so hard I’d pass out or the wooden spoon would break haha.
Pairing - Bakugou Katsuki X Reader
Prompt - idk I just thought of babysitters being so flipping like “Im in charge here” and stupid and I feel like Bakugou would enjoy babysitting like someone just a few years younger than him cause he’d get such a rush of power. 
Warnings - NSFW, abuse of power, noncon, spanking, degradation, slight misogyny. slight masochism?
Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5E30LdtzQTGqRvNd7l6kG5?si=IG4WgPeSQf2_UzyLXMWR7g
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Your mom was overbearing.
Here you were, a full-grown adult, and your mom was yelling her thanks to your “babysitter” as she rushed out the door.
You knew she was a bit protective, a bit hyper-vigilant and akin to a helicopter parent. But it was hard to be mad at her for it, not ever since dad had divorced her. She was terrified of something happening to you, of loosing the last thing in her life that she cared about. 
Still, it was hard not to feel a little bubble of irritation in your throat as you watched your “babysitter” wave to her as she climbed in her car. You didn’t need a babysitter, not at your age. And you especially didn’t need the gruff, surly man that had lived in the house across the street as your babysitter. You could take care of yourself, thank you very much.
And how come your mom didn’t trust you by yourself, but somehow trusted this Mr. Grumpypants that you had met a total of zero times. You had seen him once, when your mom’s car had broken down at her job and you had to go pick her up. 
You hadn’t minded, rolling up to the curb to see your mother animatedly talking to some blonde man with a stick shoved up his ass, his handsome face grimacing like he just sucked on a lemon dipped in hot sauce. Apparently she worked with him, the younger man a security guard for the complex her office was located in. You watched as his bored red eyes slid from your mother, over to you through the car window, his brow furrowing. The bored look had disappeared, and he regarded you with… curiosity? Contempt? It was hard to tell what emotion was hidden behind his eyes, underlaid so strongly with irritation and anger.
Mom had gushed about him all the way home, telling you details you didn’t really care about. His name was Bakugou Katsuki, he was single, 27, and wouldn’t you know - he lived right across the street!
Well, if she trusted him, you guess you should too. Didn’t mean you had to like it though.
And you didn’t, huffing as Bakugou closed the door and you turned back to your game, mashing buttons and sitting forward as you tried to beat this level.   It was ridiculous, your mom going over to his house a few days prior with a plate of cookies, asking the man if he wouldn’t mind coming and hanging out while she was away on some business trip. She had expressed her worry about leaving you - what if something happened while she was gone for a week? Someone could kidnap you and she wouldn’t even know until she got back!
Even when you politely reminded her that cell-phones existed, she was adamant; you were going to have someone big and strong stay in the house with you. It not only would keep potential burglars and thieves away, but it’d keep you safe, make sure you weren’t doing anything silly like staying up too late or eating too much junk food. It was embarrassing.
Some small part of you wanted to stomp your foot and whine at her, but that wouldn’t help you in trying to convince her that you were an adult. Once your mom convinced herself of something, nothing would be able to change her mind. Even when you pointed out that Bakugou was a strange man, she didn’t budge. 
“I see him everyday at work!” She had pointed out. “Plus, he’s a security guard sweetie - his literal job involves keeping people safe.”
Bakugou locked the door, before glancing your way. You felt his eyes on you, but you didn’t feel like acknowledging his presence, by gracing him with conversation or any sort of interaction. The man moved on after a second, walking behind you and into the kitchen. You heard him rustle in the cupboards, the clink of glasses, then the sound of water filling a cup.
Right - your mom had kindly showed him where everything was. She had guided him through each room showed him the guest room which she had made up for his stay, even walking him through the kitchen and showing him the contents of each cupboard. 
He came back into the living room with his backpack and cup full of water, settled himself down in one of the armchairs by the couch.  You didn’t spare him a glance as he pulled out his laptop, threw on some glasses, and settled himself in for… well, whatever he was doing. You were just glad that the two of you didn’t have to interact with each other.
You continued playing your game, occasionally getting frustrated enough to mumble under your breath at the TV as your character died yet again. This was going to be a long week.
----
You were taking a gap year after graduating, relaxing before you threw yourself into college and working. Right now, your days were spent playing games, scrolling on your phone and laughing at memes, going to the pool for hours on end, the library, bike rides, hikes… lots of activities that kept your mind and body occupied. But this week? Bakugou threw off every plan you made.
It was the second day, and you had gotten up early to go swim and goof off at the community pool for a few hours. It was fun, you could tan a little, cool off, maybe see some cute boys your age. 
When you got out of the water you had two missed texts from Bakugou. 
Where are you
Tell me where the fuck you went
Instead of answering, you huffed, wrapping your towel around your waist. It took maybe fifteen minutes to walk home - you’d deal with your overprotective babysitter then.
He met you at the door, throwing it open before you could even touch the handle. His face was drawn tight in a scowl, the blonde crossing his arms as soon as you stepped inside and shut the door behind you.
“Your fucking phone die? Or are you just ignoring me?”
You shook your head, irritated with how big of a deal he was making out of this. You went to the pool all the time, you weren’t going to die. “I was at the pool, chill dude.”
“Oh, I thought you just popped out to go fucking parachuting!” He spat, uncrossing his arms to gesture at your body. “I can see that you went to the pool dipshit. Why didn’t you fucking tell me, huh? You normally run off on your mom without a damn word?”
You stared at him, curious to see if he would burst a blood vessel with how worked up he was getting. He didn’t seem like someone that knew what the word “relax” meant. Bakugou probably slept all angrily, arms crossed, lips pulled into a frown, eyebrows drawn low.
“Fucking hey, earth to idiot!” Fingers snapped in front of your face, and you recoiled, glaring up at the man in front of you. Before you could open your mouth, he huffed, rubbing a hand across his forehead. “Don’t fucking go anywhere unless you run it by me, understand? I don’t need you wandering into a fucking alley and getting stabbed or some shit.”
Snorting, you moved past him, not even bothering to answer. He was an asshole. Despite what your mother thought, you weren’t a child. You knew how to take care of yourself, you didn’t need some grumpy old guy bossing you around.  Said man was grinding his teeth as he watched you walk away, headed for your room. It probably annoyed the life out of him that you hadn’t answered, but he didn’t say anything. 
When you finished grabbing clothes for your shower, you came out of your room to see Bakugou leaning against the wall. 
“So you’re being a little spoiled princess, not even talking to me? That’s rich. You know I’m gonna be here for the next fucking week - you better make peace with that.”
“Dude, I don’t know what you want. I’m fine, I do this all the time. Just leave me be, and I’ll do the same for you.”
Bakugou grumbled something under his breath, but your skin was getting dry and tight from chlorine, so you ignored him as you slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You could hear his feet stomping away, and almost giggled at the sound. It almost seemed like he was the petulant child that needed a babysitter.
It didn’t take you long to rinse off, get all the chlorine and salt off your skin. Drying off, you quickly realized you forgot a bra when you had grabbed clothes - which was fine, you would just wrap up in your towel and waddle back to your room. Plus, the bathroom was directly opposite your room, and Bakugou wasn’t nearby, you could hear dishes rattling in the kitchen, so that wouldn’t be a problem. 
And it wasn’t, not until you were in your room, door closed, towel on the floor as you rifled through your dresser drawers for the bra you really liked.
“Hey princess, do you want-“
You only heard him as he opened the door, and by that time you were scrambling to snatch your towel up around your naked body. Bakugou choked on his words, face turning a flaming red before he slammed the door shut, giving you your privacy. 
Heart racing, you sat down on the floor, too embarrassed for words. That was awkward. 
“Why the fuck would you grab clothes, only to come back and change in your room!??!” Bakugou yelled from the other side of the door, a decidedly angry “thump” from where he banged his fist against the door.
“I forgot something, geez! Why didn’t you bother knocking?!?” You yelled back, your own face heating up.
“Holy fucking shit, just get some fucking clothes on, asshole. I’m makin’ pancakes and shit.”
Breakfast was an awkward affair, your gaze focused firmly on the perfectly cooked food on your plate. Bakugou was glaring at you between bites, obviously fuming. He was probably just as embarrassed as you were, but at least he wasn’t trying to make small talk.
----
Bakugou doesn’t appreciate how much time you spend playing video games, and it’s only the third day. He’s grumbled about it several times already, but you aren’t hurting anybody, and there’s nothing else for you to do, so.
It seems like the only thing Bakugou is willing to do is sit nearby, glare at you condescendingly, and mutter under his breath about how you spend your time. When you decided to run to the store to get groceries (there was a surplus of food in the house - you just wanted some air and time away from your “babysitter”) Bakugou had suddenly appeared, moving in front of the door and sneering. 
“Are you trying to fuckin’ sneak off again? I won’t let that shit slide twice.”
You huffed, shrugging on your jacket. “Bakugou, I was going to the store. Contrary to what you think, I’m not eight years old, and I can take care of myself. My mom’s just a helicopter parent. You don’t even need to be here, honestly.”
The man scoffed, his face souring. “You’re literally a fucking child. Didn’t you just graduate highschool?”
Stepping closer to him, you squared your shoulders, eyebrows furrowing as you looked up at the blond. “Call me a child all you want - doesn’t change the fact I’m old enough to do stuff by myself. Now-“ you gestured to his body “-please move.”
“No.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “And why not? You can’t just lock me in the house until my mom comes back.”
Bakugou’s head cocked, red eyes burrowing into your head. He grinned. “Why the fuck not? I’m in charge here, I get to make the damn rules. I say your ass stays here, and it’s going to.”
Clenching your jaw, you huffed, spinning on your heel. You weren’t going to be able to talk the bull-headed man into leaving you to your own devices. There was nothing left to do except shuck off your shoes, admitting defeat. It was so irritating - you didn’t need anyone looking after you, you were an adult! You were more than capable of handling yourself! Why didn’t your mom trust you? Did she think that you were too stupid to keep yourself alive and safe?
You left Bakugou at the door, grabbing a soda from the kitchen before flopping onto the couch in front of TV.  
Sure, you could read a book, do a puzzle, browse social media. But right now, you were feeling particularly angry, violent. You wanted to achieve something, finish quests, accomplish tasks. So video games it was.
Of course, that meant Bakugou sauntering back into the living room, groaning as he saw you back in front of the TV. But if he wasn’t going to let you go out, then this is what you were going to spend your time doing. If he wanted to treat you like a child, then you were going to act like one. Show him how much of a brat you really could be.
You turn on your console, select the game you’re going to be playing for the next few hours, and settle further into the couch, making yourself comfortable.  Reaching down to the coffee table, you’re about to grab the soda you had brought in earlier, but Bakugou beat you to it.
“Hey!” You whined, watching the blond pop the tab, take a long, slow drag of the carbonated drink. He smacked his lips and cocked his head, smirking down at you. 
“You shouldn’t drink this sorta shit, ’s bad for you.”
“Why are you drinking it then?!!?”
Bakugou shrugged. “‘Cause I’m in charge here. I get to do whatever I fuckin’ want.”
Huffing, you gave up the argument, starting to push yourself off the couch. Bakugou was one of those people that got off on power trips, liked being the one to call the shots. The best course of action here would be to just ignore him and grab another soda.
“And where the fuck do you think you’re going? I didn’t say you could move.” The blond man was standing in front of you, making it impossible for you to stand. He was so irritating - you couldn’t wait for this week to be over.
“I’m going to get something to drink, since you decided to help yourself to my soda.”
He moved out of your way, clicking his tongue before flopping down into the armchair by the couch. You glared at him for as long as you could, until the kitchen wall hid his face from view. Ugh, he was such a jerk. At first he had seemed somewhat decent, but as he got more comfortable around you, the man was turning into a self-absorbed tyrant. 
Whatever, you were only going to have a stupid “babysitter” for a few more days.
----
“Get off the damn game! Don’t make me haul your ass off that couch.” 
Bakugou threatened. He wasn’t very intimidating, standing there vigorously brushing his teeth like there was something wrong with them. The blond had already asked you two other times, and you had ignored him on both occasions. You were so close to leveling up, just a few more points.
If Bakugou wanted to go to bed when the sun was still up, he was more than welcome to do so. You however, had better things to do with your time.
You saw him stomp away out of the corner of your eye, apparently giving up on trying to tell you what to do in your own house. Good.
If anything, Bakugou should be grateful that all you were interested was playing video games and going to the pool. You could be out getting in trouble, doing drugs, rebelling against the system or something - but you were here, chilling and causing zero trouble. 
The sink in the bathroom ran, then clattering could be heard as Bakugou finished up his bedtime routine, putting his toothbrush away, washing his hands, yada yada.
He appeared back in the living room, arms crossed. His muscles bulged out like that, showcased by the sleeveless black tank top he was wearing. But you weren’t intimidated, it’s not like he was going to hit you or something.
“Alright, last chance. Turn the fucking game off, it’s your majesty’s bedtime now.” He sneered.
You ignored him.
“You seriously wanna do this princess?”
You stayed silent. Just a few more kills….
“Alright, you fuckin’ asked for it.”
The TV turned off, Bakugou yanking the cords out behind it.
“Dude, what the hell! I was so close to leveling up!!” You screeched, sitting up straight. Bakugou’s face was screwed into an angry frown, and he advanced towards you, walking with purpose. You were fuming, rising to your feet so you could get in his face, tell him off. He was acting like he was your dad or something, and he most definitely was not.
When the man got within an arm length of you, you immediately jabbed a finger into his chest, mouth opening to spit nasty words. Those words died when your hand was slapped harshly away, Bakugou still walking forward until he was crowding into your space. You tried to shrink back, but a rough hand latched onto the back of your neck, holding you still as Bakugou closed in on you, bringing your foreheads together.
“You are such a spoiled little princess. Think you can get away with shit, yeah? Never had a man in your life to put you in your goddamn place, that’s why, isn’t it?” 
You blanched, still trying to lean backwards, away from his overwhelming presence. It was kind of scary, how he was all up in your face, how his fingers gripped the back of your neck so tightly, how his face was so close to yours that you could feel his warm, minty breath.
“Bakugou, ple-“
“Nah, shut the fuck up. We’re past any point where you could’ve begged for forgiveness. I am so sick and tired of your bratty little attitude. You keep testing my patience, being a little shit, acting like you own the damn place. You’re gonna show me you’re fuckin’ sorry princess.”
A hand wrapped around your waist, another on your thigh, hefting you up with brute strength and slinging you over his shoulder in the blink of an eye. The swift movement made your head spin for a second, but you quickly adjusted.
“Woah, what the hell man? Put me down!” Bakugou ignored you, spinning on his heel and marching towards the guest bedroom. “Dude, put me down right now, this isn’t funny anymore. C’mon, put me down, I get it. You’re in charge, and I gotta listen. You can let me down now. Please?”
Your pleading went unheard, even as it got more and more desperate the closer to the guest bedroom he walked. When you passed through the doorway, you kicked at the mans stomach, tried to hit his back - you had a faint idea of where this was going, and it was nowhere good.
Without ceremony, you were thrown on the bed, the air getting knocked out of you with the impact, your head bouncing a few times on the mattress.  Bakugou turned, shutting and locking the door before he was back in front of you again, a vicious look on his face.
You scrambled backwards on the bed, holding out one hand as if to ward him off. “Okay, dude, wait, you don’t want to do this. Please don’t do this, you’re a good guy-“
“Shit, do you ever stop running your mouth? Calm the fuck down princess, I’m just gonna spank you ’till you cry, then we’ll be even.”
The idea was humiliating, embarrassing, degrading. But it was better than what you thought was about to happen. Bakugou grabbed your ankle, pulling you back towards him with a quick yank, sitting down beside you on the bed. The man patted his lap expectantly, before getting impatient with your hesitance and grabbing your hair, pulling you across his lap with a pained shriek from you.
“Now, here’s how this is gonna fucking go. You’re gonna sit there and take it, and you’ll be done once I say so. Now shut up.”
Without further ceremony, a broad hand slapped your ass, your shorts providing only the thinnest of barriers. You weren’t ready for the hit, so you lurched forward across the mans lap with a small cry. Another smack landed, and while you still weren’t ready, the sting wasn’t as jarring as the first slap.
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK SMACK SMACK
You tried to not whine, or cry, or make any noise, but it was hard. His hand was coming down with more force on each strike, and it /hurt/.  You could feel your skin throbbing underneath your shorts, red and tender, and you were ready to be done. 
Bakugou however, was not.
He kept going,
SMACK
Each hit harder than the last.
SMACK
You wanted to cry, trying to hold it in, just endure through the mortification of being spanked like a child.
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
You couldn’t take it anymore, bursting into tears, skin burning, blubbering for Bakugou to stop, please.
The spanking stopped. 
The two of you sat there, you sobbing, Bakugou rubbing the skin of your ass over your shorts. Somehow, that hurt just as much as the spanking did, so you reached a hand back blindly, trying to catch his wrist and push him away. As soon as you grabbed his wrist, Bakugou delivered another savage slap to your behind, making you immediately apologize and drop your hands, let him pet and stroke your ass at his leisure.  It hurt.
You don’t know how long you both stayed there, Bakugou further irritating the burning, raw skin of your butt, you sniffling and calming down from the full-bodied sobs that had wracked your form earlier.  It had been long enough that you barely flinched when Bakugou tentatively fingered the waistband of your shorts, twisting up the fabric, as if he were hesitant to go further, but obviously considering it. You didn’t flinched when a decision was seemingly made, and a hand started slowly pulling your shorts down.
You flinched when the fabric slid over a particularly sore welt on your ass.
“What are you doing??” You panicked, trying to rise up, move away. A hand between your shoulder blades held you down, Bakugou’s gruff voice telling you to stay still.
“I just wanna see how it looks, fuckin’ chill out princess.”
It’s not like you could argue, so off slid your shorts. You tried to protest again when you felt fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties, but another swift slap to your rear had you keening in pain, quickly falling silent. You could let him assess the damage, but that was it. If he tried to touch you further, you’d bite a chunk of his skin off, go find your phone and call the police. 
With your lower half bared to the room, you squirmed uncomfortably, immediately stilling when Bakugou’s hand smoothed over the abused skin of your ass. He seemed fascinated by the damage he had caused, and you were sure that there were welts, maybe even bruises already forming. Your skin burned, and not in a pleasant way. God, it was painful.
There was so much pain, your skin somehow felt numb and on fire at the same time. You almost didn’t notice Bakugou’s hand dropping to your thigh, slowly beginning to wiggle it’s way upward, headed towards the little pink slit nestled between your legs. 
When his hand made contact with your pussy, you flipped out.
Almost literally - you rocketed off the man’s lap so fast that you almost flipped over onto the ground, just barely catching yourself at the last second. 
And then you were standing in front of the man, lower half completely bared, him staring at the space between your thighs, before slowly dragging his eyes upward to find your own. 
You turned tail and ran for the door.
A problem with your aforementioned plan of calling the police, was forgetting that Bakugou was a security guard. His job was literally chasing people down, subduing them.
He had you pinned to the door in a matter of seconds, chuckling in your ear. 
“Damn, I really was just only gonna spank your ass raw. You look goddamn delicious though, and it seems like you just haven’t learned your fucking lesson.”
You were hauled backward, a hand pulling your hair, the other wrapped around your waist. For the second time that day, you were tossed onto the bed, but this time you barely stayed for a second, already trying to scramble off the other side.  But Bakugou was faster, his hand around your calf and dragging you back to him with an iron grip. 
A scream tore out of your throat, and you kicked at the man with all your strength as you got closer, catching him square in the jaw. His head snapped back, but his grip never loosened, keeping you stationary while you tried to wiggle away. 
His other hand came up to massage his jaw while he slowly rolled his head down to fix you with the most intense, hungry look you’d ever seen a human wear.
“Ohhh, shit. You don’t even know what you just did, do you princess?”
You gasped at his breathy laugh, the way his eyes seemed to light up. Within a second, he was on top of you, face inches away from your own. You could feel his dick, hard against your thigh.
“Wait, you don’t have to do this-think of the consequences! Please, I won’t tell anyone, just let me go, right now. You don’t want to do this Bakugou, please, it’s not gonna be good for either of us-“
He ignored your reasoning, instead focusing on ripping off your shirt, doing the same to your bra. You tried to stop him, hitting and punching, trying to sink your nails into his back, claw at his eyes. You even resorted to snapping your teeth at his nose when his face got too close, turning your head to sink your teeth into his forearm.
Bakugou just groaned throatily, his eyes fluttering shut. Immediately, you let go, not expecting that response. That was supposed to hurt, why wasn’t he yelling in pain? The man lifted his forearm, watching blood start to drip from where your blunt teeth had punctured his skin. He was breathing heavily, straddling your legs, hunched over you like a dog.
The next seconds were a blur, clothes coming off, his hands manhandling you onto your side, his deranged laughter and low, excited swearing filling your ears.
You found yourself on your side, Bakugou straddling one thigh, holding the other up with his arm. He was lining himself up with your opening, rough hand guiding his dick to nudge against your entrance. You screamed.
“Stop it! Stop it, please! You can’t do this! Oh god, stop, stop, stop, don’t-“
“I can do whatever the hell I want, princess.” The man spat, seemingly unaffected by the way you thrashed your body. You tried kicking the leg under him, but his weight anchored it firmly to the bed. You tried kicking the leg he was holding in the arm, but his tight grip just became painful, squeezing you into place. You tried to sit up, to reach out and grab him by the neck and squeeze, but the position you were in was impossible. He knew what he was doing.
You screamed again, a sound of pained, fearful anger crawling out of your throat. Bakugou just laughed.
“This wouldn’t be happening if you had just been good and listened to me. We could’ve gotten along.” He gathered the spit in his mouth, before crudely spitting onto his fingers. “I would’ve left you alone for now, I mean, I’m not a bad guy. “ Bakugou slapped his spit-slicked fingers down over your pussy, smearing his saliva along your folds, messily rubbing it in.
“I’m an upstanding citizen, I keep little crooks and stupid brats from running things their way, that’s all I’m doing.”
You yelled as a finger entered you, probing at your walls. “That hurts! Take it out, take it out! You’re disgusting, get off of me! Stop-!”
Bakugou kept talking, pointedly ignoring your panicked whining. 
“Yeah, I’ve seen you before, and you’ve got a nice little body. But it’s not like I was just gonna up and hold you down. Good thing you’ve been giving me reasons all week though, being an absolute spoiled-ass princess, you’re so fucking annoying.”
Another finger joined the first, roughly jamming into your cunt, your juices beginning to flow and smooth the way. It was so stupid that your body was responding to this.
“I woulda never touched you, no matter how much I fucking wanted to, if you had just been good. I guess it works for me that you’ve been shit, huh?”
The man laughed again, leaning down towards your face to smile at you in a jeer, adding another finger to your aching pussy. The stretch hurt, it was too soon, but it felt good nonetheless. It’d been a while since you’d last messed around with someone.
When his fingers retracted, you gasped, face quickly blushing red. Another glob of spit was ejected onto Bakugou’s hand, and he quickly slicked up his cock with his own saliva, hissing as he first touched it.
As he lined himself up, you tried begging one more time. “Bakugou, Bakugou, please. Please don’t, you don’t want to do this. You can’t! Just let me up, please? Oh god, please, just let me go, I won’t tell anyone.”
He shoved the entirety of his cock inside with one, jarring thrust.
You screamed, voice cracking in the middle. The stinging pain of your ass was forgotten in the face of the jabbing, spiky pain in your lower abdomen. Bakugou hissed, eyes closed in bliss.
“God, you’re fuckin’ tight. You a virgin?”
Tears in your eyes from the unexpected pain of being filled so suddenly, you shook your head no. Bakugou clicked his tongue.
“Ah, I kinda figured. Slut like you probably can’t go a few days without a cock stuffing your cunt.” A thought seemed to cross his mind, and Bakugou’s eyes opened, peering down at you inquisitively, a slight twinkle in his eye.
“Is that why you’ve been such a demanding little princess?” You shook your head no vehemently, the pain slowly fading the longer Bakugou remained still inside you. “Holy fuck, that’s why you’ve been like this all week! You just needed a cock!” The man laughed before reaching a hand down to pat your face condescendingly. “Don’t you worry princess,  I’ll give you what you need.”
No further words were spoken, despite how much you wanted to scream and yell and curse at the man above you. He immediately drew his cock back, before thrusting into you again, quickly finding a mind-numbing pace that didn’t allow you any time to think.
His thrusts were smooth, steady, fast - it was hard, no, impossible to stop yourself from moaning at how good everything was starting to feel, despite how much you didn’t want it to. It was even worse when Bakugou’s hand found it’s way to your clit, beginning to furiously rub the little button as he fucked you stupid.
“Yeah, you fuckin’ like that?”
You ignored him completely, turning your face against the covers of the guest bed. Bakugou just huffed, increasing his pace ever so slightly.
It wasn’t long before you were gasping, moaning on every other breath, trying to hold yourself back from begging the man to let you cum. You writhed underneath him, trying to arch your hips back to meet every one of his thrusts, ride the hand that was rubbing at your clit so nicely.
Your orgasm hit you out of nowhere. 
It fizzed in your stomach, pleasure racing through you so quickly that you lost your breath, muscles locking up. It felt so good, you couldn’t breath, couldn’t move. Bakugou fucked you through it, smirking down as you obviously rode out your orgasm, his finger falling away from your clit before you could get overstimulated. 
A few more thrusts, and Bakugou pulled out, quickly moving to straddle your chest as he quickly jerked himself off. His hand made the most lewd sound, squelching up and down his length that was drenched in your juices. 
You were so blissed out from your orgasm, you almost didn’t mind when cum started splattering over your face.
You did mind, however, when Bakugou tried to rub it into your skin after he finished.  A quick snap of your jaws towards his fingers made your point clear, and Bakugou backed off.
“We have plenty of time to work on you, seems like you still need to be put in your place by the man of the house. Spoiled little princess.”
——
When your mom got home, you barely kept yourself from sobbing in her arms as she hugged you. You wanted to tell her everything that had happened, what Bakugou had done to you - but that would just make her more paranoid, fearful.
She would lock you in the house and never let you leave. Plus it was embarrassing. “Hey mom, by the way, the babysitter you hired for me, your adult child, raped me after spanking me so hard I bruised, and I couldn’t stop him!” Wasn’t a sentence you wanted to utter. You were weak, and stupid.
Bakugou watched in the background, his backpack slung over his shoulder, ready to head across the street and back to his own house. Your mom kissed your hair, finally disentangling herself from your arms, moving to talk to the gruff blond. You stayed by the door, watching Bakugou with narrow eyes.
“We were fine - although, you were right in having someone come over. She’s irresponsible as hell, I don’t know what could’ve happened if I wasn’t here to stop her from doing stupid shit.”
Your mom threw you a disapproving glance, quickly turning to thank Bakugou for helping the two of you out. She pressed money into his hand, but he told her not to worry about it - he got to eat good food, sleep in a nice bed, and the wifi was better here than at his house. Your mom gave him a quick hug, and you watched his face sour, before he quickly moved away from her grasp.
“Just let me know if you ever need me to come hangout with her again - I think it’s good for her to have a strong male figure in her life. And my wifi sucks, so it’s a win-win for everyone.”
Except you.
Your mom clapped her hands together excitedly. “Oh, that’d be perfect! What a nice young man you are, I knew you were trustworthy.”
Your stomach soured. 
Bakugou said his goodbyes, obviously trying to get out of the house and away from your touchy mother as quickly as possible. Your mother thanked him again, welcoming him over “at any time!” To use the faster wifi, as long as he wouldn’t mind hanging out with you.
Bakugou gave a gruff laugh, brushing past you on his way out the door. He turned, looking at your mother, then at you.
“I’ll be here to help out, don’t you worry princess.”
You slammed the door in his face.
He was never stepping foot in your house again, not if you could help it.
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jade-of-mourning · 3 years
Text
theformat wrote, "im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"
in which i spontaneously take several hours to translate nate’s awfully punctuated commentary on dog problems into Comprehensive English Words. partially so i can write my stupid essay on it for fun. but yes here you go, 4.2k words from a 2006 livejournal archive that i managed to snatch out of two saves. here’s a link if you want to read it from the source, but i’ll have you know it’s a nightmare. early 2000′s nate ruess learn how to type properly challenge.
theformat wrote,
[@ 2006-5-18 18:44:00]
"im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"
Hi,
Sitting on my couch, watching ESPN. Damn, it’s good to be home. Things have been pretty crazy the last 6 months. As a lot of you know, we were dropped by our label — we went and recorded a new record, labels became interested, [and] we decided to release it ourselves. We went on tour, and now I’m [...] home for the next week: my first week off in six months. What do I do? 
Well, my roommate and I got memberships to the YMCA down the street from our house. It’s an amazing place. Downtown Phoenix is pretty much an amazing place. It’s not like the rest of the state — speaking of which, I’m declaring war on Scottsdale, it’s the opposite of Downtown Phoenix.
Anyways, so I wake up at 9am every morning. I don’t know what it is, really — I’ve been a "pro" musician for about 3 years now, [and] we are supposed to wake up at 11 or 12. I know some dudes that wake up at 1, but no; since I’ve been home the last few days, I’ve been going to bed at 1 and waking up at 9. My roommate has a job, [so] I think it has to do with that. 
See, there are 3 showers total in our house. I have the big bedroom, so I have the big shower, [and] since I’ve been off on tour and recording, he has gotten used to the nice shower in my room (Which is fine — anyone that’s gotten close to me knows I’m not too fond of showers, so it’s not like I use it that much). So every morning around 8:45, I wake up to my door opening and my roommate going through my room to use the shower. 
You know what it’s like when you’re half asleep but you want to act like you’re awake so as not to freak someone out with all the crazy babble, but you just end up saying all the same crazy babble? I do that every morning. I turn and look at him and try to act like I wasn’t just dreaming about tootsie rolls and parrots that shatter like glass. "Hey [Roommate's Name], that was some game last night" [is what usually] comes out of my mouth — something to that extent — and I think he feels sorry for me, but continues to walk right into my bathroom, and use the shower. 
At this point, I’m awake. I usually have to pee, and I have to then use his restroom. It’s a terrible swap, and it always ends with me wide awake on my front porch (har har) smoking a cigarette and wondering how the hell I’m gonna fall back asleep when the air conditioning is broken. Ah, what a wonderful life at home, [but] that’s the weird thing — I love it. Now we wake up and we go to the [YMCA]. We run, we play basketball, we jump in the pool, we play pool basketball, we get yelled at for dunking the ball. We don’t use soap before we go into the sauna, and the night usually ends with a poker tournament. This is the life I love to live when I’m away from the road. It too is the opposite of Scottsdale. It’s who I am, [and] it’s pretty much who I’ve become.
See, for the last 23 years, it’s been about the highs and the lows for me. I’ve got an addictive personality, [so] I stay away from a lot of things because of this; however, when I find things, I get generally excited. I go crazy. It’s all I think about and all I do for the next howeverlong. For the first 23 years, it was either talking non-stop or locking myself in my room. It’s either great or terrible; not good or bad. Dog Problems changed that.
Initially, Dog Problems was supposed to be that — the original concept of Dog Problems was to be 2 sides of music, the first half taking over where Interventions [+ Lullabies] had left off: "We'll be together in the morning…"
We weren’t, in fact. We were over before Interventions was even released. We were over two weeks after it was recorded, [and] I spent the next 2 years feeling terrible. We got back together… we broke up… we got dogs… we broke up… we got back together and got dogs…
I was still miserable, but I wanted Dog Problems to get me through everything. I wanted it to help me, not anyone else — just me. The first side was supposed to be me down in the dumps [and] everything that went down: how the two of us were dealing with it differently, [and] the second half was supposed to be a realization.
The first inkling of realization was a day [when] we were on tour. We were all laughing about something I’m sure Marko or Adam said. Here I was supposed to be depressed, but the fact that I can spend all of my days in different states with my best friends, all of us doing what we love — that was major! Then my mom called… I’ve got my parents! My friends! What else could I possibly need?
At that point, I felt as if a relationship in a Michael Bolton sort of way didn’t mean anything. It was the people you surrounded yourself with — those were the people that made the difference, and that was going to be side two. I was convinced that when I just closed my eyes and thought about the wonderful people around me, I was going to be great. Not good, [but] great.
I didn’t get that far, no. I got back into the relationship. 
I was sure it was going to work. At that point, life would be perfect, and we all want perfection right? [But] things went right back to far from perfect. Things went to terrible. I couldn’t stop feeling sorry for myself, but I had a concept. At that point, I figured that even by singing and recording these positive songs I was going to feel better, so Sam showed me what was then just a short acoustic guitar version of Snails.
This was it. This was my first chance to prove to myself that life can be beautiful. The thing is, I had never been more miserable. I remember writing the lyrics to Snails: my roommate was at work, I was on the bed, on my night stand was a giant bottle of booze, and somewhere off in California she wasn’t calling me back on a Friday night. So I went to work, listened [to it] over and over. I wanted to get it right; I wanted to be positive. I passed out, then I woke up the next morning [with a] big headache (P.S. drinking is not really that cool; it’s cool when you condemn it for the first 22 years of your life, then it becomes not cool, then it becomes ok when you moderate yourself) and I started writing everything positive I could think of. [...] Snails was, in Sam’s mind, supposed to be a 2 minute kid’s song, [but] I wrote so much that there was no going back. I thought that was it — Snails solved all of my problems.
It didn’t get that far either. Nothing could shake the depression, [and] I really started to worry about myself. Here I want to feel great, but I only feel terrible, [and] a few months later it got really really bad. I had to go to my parents house that night, I didn’t want to be at my house. I wanted to feel like a kid.
It’s funny how we always want to be adults when we're younger. We want to drive cars, we want to have girlfriends. I still didn’t consider myself an adult — all I wanted was to come home, be tucked in, know that everything was going to be alright. I woke up the next day [and found out] she met someone new. I’ve got to figure myself out…
In the meantime, we've got 4 songs we are recording over at our friend Aaron’s house (he is an amazing producer and [...] musician, and his house and his roommates have gotten me through a lot of tough times. They’re some of the only people I know who would rather spend their Saturdays getting dinner and watching a movie instead of going to a party. I like that). All of this turmoil in my relationship was going on at the time, and I was trying to write side two [but] I couldn’t. There was more fuel to side one. These songs have to be done, so I wrote about what I knew, and at that point I knew how to feel terrible.
So much for side two. Dog Problems is going to be one giant mess of depression and "look what you’ve done to me".
Atlantic got those four songs, as well as a few others. They were not psyched, to say the least, but some people at the label actually cared about it enough to say "go record". So we were able to pick our producer, we met with a few people, talked to a few more. Things were looking up. Dog Problems was going to happen. 
I remember meeting Steve McDonald at his house — Sam and I were excited to be [there] because we knew his wife Anna would probably be there. Anna was the lead singer/songwriter for a band we used to obsess about called "That Dog", her brother was one of the ten drummers in the world that I actually liked, so Steve couldn't be so bad. And he wanted to produce our record, so he had to be pretty cool! 
He was just that, and more. Sam and I were eating every word that came out of his mouth. He had stories; he was young, hip, energetic, and yet very all knowing. We saw someone that was going to let us do whatever we wanted to do, and in the meantime he was going to make us laugh and make sure we didn't lose our minds. From that point on, I knew there was someone I could always trust. I made a friend pretty quick.
Things were moving forward. Steve McDonald was to be the producer. I hated Los Angeles so there was no way in hell I was going to record there, [so] we decided Palm Springs would be perfect. Weird, but perfect. I had a phone conversation with Steve that night and we were finalizing everything. I was going to call Atlantic in the morning and let them know just how everything was going to work, [but] I didn't get that far.
I was sleeping in a blowup bed at the house when my phone rang. I didn’t wake up and answer like it was my roommate and he was coming into my room to use my shower, [because] this call felt different. Right away, I was awake.
It was our manager: "You’ve been dropped." 
When I heard that, the first thought going through my mind wasn’t "Oh man...how are we going to be famous now and make boat loads of money?" It was more like "fuck...but Dog Problems. We were supposed to go make Dog Problems."
The thing is, Atlantic wasn’t into Dog Problems. They were into whatever it was they thought we were. Never had The First Single made more sense — what was supposed to be a song about getting the band started and doing something with it had actually turned into a song about how stuck we were in the labels eyes because of the song. I was past that; we're proud of something we wrote when we were 19 and 20, but when I think of music, I think of progression. 
I think of all of the wonderful records I had been introduced to when I had nothing to do riding in a van. I think of all of the new influences, all the instruments, all of the "How did they do that?" And I think of how much it gets me through everything.
Music has been the consecutive[ly] great[est] thing in my life. It’s been that one thing, and with Dog Problems, it wasn’t about "I want everyone to sing along because I can write a catchy song." It was about feeling. It was paying tribute to all of the bands that we obsessively listened to. It was for Harry Nilsson and Van Dyke Parks, it was for Jellyfish and XTC. It was our way of saying thanks for making our lives better, whether it be lyrically or musically. It was never about being something, being told something, and sticking to something. It was an adventure, for the artist and for the listener.
[And] they didn't get that. They wanted the old record, the old songs, just with different words and a few different chords here and there. They didn’t care about Snails or Dog problems [or] what it meant to write those songs. They knew it wasn't going to be huge; the guitars were not big enough (if big guitars are your thing that’s fine, it’s just not really our thing right now); it wasn’t going to be competitive, and so they dropped us. And rightfully so: we weren’t going to change, and obviously the major label business is never going to change, [so] now it comes down to who goes down first. And we weren’t ready to go down.
Sam and I had conversations about it, whether the business end of things have been fucking with us so much that we'll never be sane enough to just enjoy it. We thought about getting out — it wasn’t [be]cause we hated each other, or the songs; it was because we hated the business.
Steve called to let us know that he was still onboard, label or not, [and] we let him know we were still on board. We were going to make this record, [and] I was going to feel great! But the record was going to cost something. How could we afford it? 
We were lucky that we had a management company like Nettwerk. Not only are they the most forward-thinking music business people around, [but] they’re also (for the most part) Canadian. Oh, and they care a shit load about the music we make. They could have waited for the ship to sink, but they told us they would pay for the record if need be. Fortunately, we were able to get money for getting dropped — Atlantic actually paid us to leave, so we could afford the recording ourselves. The only stipulation was that it had to be done quicker, and when you want something quick, you have to go to the "right here, right now" capitol of the world: Los Angeles. I was a little irked at the thought at first, then Steve said it was his personal goal to make LA a wonderful city for me. Like I said, I would jump off a cliff if Steve said it was the best way to get coffee, but I wasn’t jumping off of cliffs. I was too excited to make Dog Problems, [so] LA it was.
Sam and I moved to the "Silver Palace" in Silverlake California in the middle of December. We found an amazing studio in Burbank, California and an amazing engineer in Ken Sluiter, and our goal was to just do everything free from a record label and someone constantly messing up the recording process by saying things like "that’s not high octave enough". The only pressure we had at all was from our manager saying "You have a tour you accepted in March, [so] get it done by then.” Other than that, it was me, Sam, Steve, and Ken working 13 hours a day for 6 days a week.
It became our lives we were putting so much of ourselves into. Everyone that worked and played on the record was the same way when they were there contributing. I would leave the studio at 2 in the morning and wake up at 10 to be at the studio by 11. There was no free time — the four of us were so invested in this. We all bought into the concept. 
In the meantime, things outside of the studio were getting interesting. We had a lot of labels calling and constantly asking about it. During one week of recording, I remember at least 3 different label people coming down to the studio. Our minds weren’t made up as to what we were doing with the record once it was recorded — all we wanted to do was finish it — but we kept our options open and let people sit in the big chair and listen to what we had been working on. The response was overwhelmingly positive, but we didn’t really think about it too much beyond the compliments we were receiving. Sam and I got used to LA — I was 10 minutes away from where I had been the previous summer when I was back "on" in my “on and off" relationship. I was ten minutes from her, she was calling every day, I was singing about it… but how was it not getting to me? Why did I not care?
My phone was off. I woke up in Silverlake one morning and started wondering why for the last month I had a smile on my face. Sure, I was down at times, but the thing that had been bringing me down for 3 years was now the last thing on my mind. Apparently, it had been that way for awhile. Something that took 3 years to get over… I was finally just okay with it. No big realization — just the fact that things happen. People make mistakes. And I came out of it alright. I was good; not great… I was good, and that felt good.
I wasn’t looking for great anymore. I was okay. The last song on Dog Problems is all about that. Here, this record was supposed to be the downs, and the ups, and it ended with the middle: the realization that I don’t need to be talking; I don’t need to be locked in my room — I need to enjoy what’s going on around me. And if things go wrong, they go wrong. There’s always tomorrow.
Dog Problems means so much to me in so many different ways. I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life. I cried so many times during the making of the record. All the money I had spent on therapy, and all I had to do was go make a record, realize that I’m alright, and realize that I made something that I’ll forever be proud of.
Shit… the record was supposed to be about how California can change you for the worse, [but] it played a huge part in doing the opposite!
So as we were putting the finishing touches on the record (all our friends came in and recorded! A ton of people we admired came and worked on the record! All of their responses were so positive that it's hard not to get an ego about it. These are the people I worship. They’re the ones I wanted to pay tribute to, and they think we've made something unique and special. It’s like Michael Jordan telling you that you have a nice jump shot (no more sports references… I swear I’m done)) and we started to think about what we were going to do with it. How we were going to release it. Labels were getting pretty into it, and we knew we would have to make a decision soon.
After much debate and discussion, we decided that the record was something we had made completely on our own, so why not release it completely on our own? Nettwerk was going to take care of the distribution so it would have a major label distro. It would be inside all of the Best Buys; what more did we want? We didn’t want a big fat check — we did that last time. It made us miserable, and nothing came out of it. Barely anyone at the labels helped us, we weren’t making music videos, our songs weren’t on the radio, so why would we take their criticism? After all, everything that we’ve done — any success we’ve had is from being real people who make music. From showing up to play, from 3 years on the road. 
On Interventions [+ Lullabies], there might have been an Elektra logo on the back of the record, but it ended right there. We were the ones SHOWING people who we were. I wouldn’t have it any other way — no one knows us better than ourselves, so why not release it ourselves? To me, it’s not only a testament to the hard work we put into the band (Mike, Don, Marko, Toco, everyone else involved in putting these songs to life — you guys are the best thing we have. It’s pretty special when your best friends are some of the most talented musicians), but I really feel like the people who come to our shows are such good people that they don’t give a fuck what label it’s on.
They are there because we are doing something positive, and because we care about them as much as they care about us. So for the time being we've said "fuck the middleman": we're the only people we can blame at this point. I’m so tired of even talking about major labels and the split and everything like this. The music is the only thing I care about. Dog Problems is the only thing I care about, so why let someone else ruin it?
The Vanity Label was born.
The record got finished. We had no time to rehearse, and we had to go right back out to tour. Our first show before the Motion City Soundtrack tour was in Nashville — I remember the last time we were in Nashville, there were about ten kids. Reuben’s accomplice kept asking them why they hate whales, so we figured why not go there and get some of the rust out of the way. After all, we haven't toured in a year so there should be like 3 kids there; we can mess up if need be.
Unfortunately, we were not allowed to mess up. On a Sunday night in Nashville, with Ted Leo playing across the street (I <3 Ted), our first headlining show outside of Arizona in almost a year was over sold out. What the fuck happened? 
We thought we were going to have to play for another 3 years just to get back to where we were when we left, and yet it’s sold out on a Sunday night? It didn’t end there either — the whole tour went like that… night after night ("nite after nite?"). I couldn't believe it. As if having Dog Problems wasn’t enough, now we have people showing their support in the most positive way: coming to the shows, being there from the only thing they knew before. Those two months were such good months. It was the last thing I expected. Thanks so much to all the bands that played with us, and thanks so much for everyone that came to the shows and sang along. We'll be back in July.
In the meantime, things were going great on the Vanity Label front. Business actually felt natural. We are shooting a video with the directors we had always dreamed of doing a video with (it won’t be serious...no pouty face). There were magazines like AP and online magazines like AP taking notice, supporting the whole idea and concept. We actually took press photos. I’ve never been through any of this before, it’s exciting. I don’t think it’s going to change who we are, not one bit, but it’s still exciting to see people who can help out actually help out.
So where does that leave me now? Sitting on my bed. I’ve rambled for hours, the air still doesn't work, and I’ve been told that Dog Problems (something that isn't supposed to come out till July) has been leaked. Not the best news when you just got out of the pool, but it happens. I freaked out at first — I thought I was going to lock myself in my room. After all, this is something that we spent over two years making. It’s something that you have to take the time… listen to in headphones… play loud… listen to in order of the tracks… the artwork… Sam did the best artwork he has ever done. The packaging is something we paid extra for because Sam’s concept was so brilliant, and now… it’s leaked on the internet? I was locking my door, then our manager called.
"Hello?" 
"We're releasing it on the website today." 
"Wow."
So, here goes. You’ve read enough. I shouldn’t have to go on about it anymore, but I will say, if you wanna wait for the full hard copy release then do so. It’s July 11 — we are gonna be touring right after that — but if you want to get it now,.please do it by purchasing it right here. We released it, it’s our money, it’s our little baby — you should take the time to listen to it all the way through, free of distraction. You should turn the songs into your own. It’s an adventure, and it’s something that we put everything we have into; and if anyone deserves it first, it’s you guys who have been here with us all along.
Without further ado...
"Dog Problems"
- Nate
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megalony · 3 years
Text
Labour pains
This is a murderer! Ben Hardy imagine that will have a follow up part soon, I hope you will all enjoy it feedback is always lovely.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod
Murderer! Ben masterlist
Part 2
Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have a son together and are expecting another baby, but problems arise when (Y/n) is adamant she doesn’t want to give birth after the trauma of her first child.
Enjoy.
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"Hey baby, you're back early." (Y/n) pressed her lips to the top of Ben's head when she walked into the kitchen, surprised to see her husband sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee. It was unusual to see Ben home from the club anytime before five in the afternoon.
She felt Ben's hand graze over her lower back before she moved past him and headed over to the counter, wanting to get herself a drink.
"James would be excited if you pick him up from school today since you're home now." Turning her head, she looked over at Ben as she turned the kettle on but a surge of unease flooded her stomach when she noticed that Ben had narrowed eyes and he was looking at her with an almost blank expression. He wasn't usually like this, especially not when he was home early. Ben normally clung to (Y/n) like glue and ranted about his day or asked what she had been doing. He was a cheeky sod and it was unusual to see him unsettled like this.
"How was the scan?"
"What?"
"The scan, you know, it's something you have to check on the little one." Ben motioned his hand towards (Y/n)'s stomach and she watched his eyes momentarily soften when he glanced at her stomach before he looked back up at her.
"Oh, it was good, the baby's practically perfect in every way." The smile on (Y/n)'s lips didn't quite reach her eyes when she noticed that Ben pursed his lips in a way that was never a good sign.
(Y/n) took her cup from the cupboard and set it down in front of the kettle, feeling the cup tremble ever so slightly in her hand from nervousness. She didn't like the way Ben was looking at her, he was staring at her like there was something pressing on his mind and it concerned her. It was almost as if he thought she had done something wrong but he wasn't sure.
"That's good, no problems?"
"No, nothing's wrong."
(Y/n) never liked when Ben looked at her like that or like he was disappointed or when he narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips and right now that was how he was looking at her. He made her feel nervous because she hated to upset him just like he hated to hurt or upset her in any way. Ben made (Y/n) nervous when he was like this with her and he knew it which was why (Y/n) couldn't keep secrets from Ben.
"You know I don't like it when you lie to me, sweetheart." Ben stood up from where he had previously been sat in the kitchen but he noticed the moment he advanced towards (Y/n) she shivered like she was suddenly afraid of him.
"W-what are you talking about?"
"The midwife rang, apparently you cancelled the appointment last week but haven't rearranged it yet and she's getting worried. Care to explain?"
Ben watched the colour drain from (Y/n)'s features like the blood was pouring out of a wound on her skin and he hated that he was making her nervous but he couldn't help it. She had lied to him and she was still trying to lie to him and Ben didn't tolerate anyone lying to him, especially not the person he loved and was married to.
(Y/n) suddenly found her mind drawing a blank, she could barely manage to lie to him about the scan but she didn't think what she would say if he caught onto the fact that she had been lying to him. There was nothing but the truth that she could tell him and that was something she didn't want to explain right now. She tilted her head down before daring to try and walk past him but she knew it wasn't going to work. Ben's arm reached out and secured around her waist and his head tipped down so he could look at her.
"Oh no, doll. You don't try and lie to me and then run away when you get caught. If I had got off work any earlier and said I could go to that appointment with you what would you have told me? That midwife seemed really concerned and you've missed more than one appointment. I haven't been to half of the scans for this baby so you tell me how many you've missed and why."
Ben was worried what would have happened if he could have gone to the scan after all because (Y/n) cancelled it a week ago and thought she could pull off lying to Ben about it. He was also worried about how many scans (Y/n) had missed because they were important, they made sure that the baby was okay and growing and developing properly and they made sure (Y/n) was okay. If there was a problem and (Y/n) was missing appointments then they wouldn't know if something was wrong.
"I-... I missed three appointments."
"Three? So you haven't been since I last went with you almost three months ago and you've lied to me about it? Why the fuck haven't you gone to any of them?"
Anything could have gone wrong in that time and (Y/n) had lied for three months about everything being okay and the appointments being fine. Ben wondered if (Y/n) didn't like the scans when he wasn't there because she never sounded enthusiastic. And he knew talking about the pregnancy wasn't something she was all that comfortable with but he didn't think it was anything as bad as this.
"Why does it matter? The baby's clearly fine you call them your little wriggler they never stop moving and kicking and it shows they're strong. And I'm fine, I don't need to go-"
"Doll there could be any number of complications and problems and you know it. You went to every one of James' scans when we had him even the two that I couldn't go, why is this so different?" Ben couldn't see why (Y/n) was so against going to a scan or why she seemed so against feeling close to this baby and this pregnancy.
Ben remembered very clearly when they were expecting James, (Y/n) had the usual nerves of a first-time mother but she had been so excited and eager. Ben loved the way she bubbled up with excitement when they went to each scan and she loved feeling James move and kick. (Y/n) had seemed so happy and ready and prepared herself and everything around her for when they had James. But this pregnancy wasn't going in the same direction and Ben knew it which was why he was getting worried.
(Y/n) didn't seem excited or thrilled or even all that happy about this pregnancy, all Ben could see was how worried she was becoming. Every so often when the baby kicked Ben would see (Y/n) smile and then suddenly her smile would drop and her eyes would gloss over like she had just remembered something terrible. It was as if (Y/n) wanted to be disconnected from this pregnancy no matter how many times she told Ben she was happy or couldn't wait for this baby.
If people talked to her about the pregnancy she seemed to sink in on herself and become uneasy.
There were only a handful of times where Ben could see (Y/n) was actually okay and happy about the pregnancy and it worried him. He knew (Y/n) had been happy when they had James and they had always talked about kids and he thought (Y/n) would be happy to have another baby.
"Doll, why aren't you happy about this baby?"
"I want this baby but I- I can't go through labour again."
(Y/n) watched the way Ben's expression dropped and his eyes seemed to darken in pain but when he tried to put his hands on her waist to pull her closer she pulled away. She swiped her hands under her eyes to try and rid the tears but more tears kept falling until her vision started to blur. When (Y/n) had James she couldn't bear the thought of having to go through labour a second time. Despite how badly (Y/n) wanted more children with Ben, what happened with James had scarred her too badly to want to go through it again. But now (Y/n) had no choice but to be put through that torture again and the thought was scaring her to the point she was willing to do almost anything to avoid it again.
"Oh doll... I know with James everything went to shit but this time it will be different-"
"You don't know that!" (Y/n) felt her chest starting to heave as her voice rose like her panic levels which were going through the roof the more she thought about it. Anytime she thought of labour she despised the baby she was carrying because it wouldn't be the baby who had to get hurt and go through the trauma, it was (Y/n). She had to endure it all for her child and the love she felt for her baby didn't feel like enough love to get her through the labour.
"Doll, it's okay to be scared."
"I'm not scared, I'm terrified! That midwife promised me everything would be okay and then you both let that doctor butcher me! I don't want to be hurt again for this baby I can't do it again I- I can't, Ben."
(Y/n) pressed her palm to her stomach but all she wanted was for the baby to disappear or already been born without the terror and inflicted pain that came with it. She didn't know how to deal with her upcoming labour because there was no way around it but (Y/n) was desperate to find a way because she couldn't get hurt again. If that doctor had never walked into her delivery room (Y/n) would have been fine, she would have coped with James' labour and would have gotten through it with the two midwives and Ben in the room with her. But from the moment he walked in he destroyed what was supposed to be a memorable exciting moment and he replaced it with terror and nightmares.
"Me? Doll I couldn't knock him out when he had James in his hands who wasn't breathing. And I didn't let him get away with what he did to you, that fucker can't butcher anyone else with mangled hands now can he." The anger in Ben's voice wasn't directed at (Y/n) and she knew that but she hated seeing Ben riled up like this. His muscles were tense and shaking and his breathing was deep and laboured.
James' birth hadn't been anything like Ben and (Y/n) had prepared themselves for.
He had been a week past his due date so labour had been induced but everything seemed to be fine right up until the last hour. The midwives had to call a doctor because James had become distressed and his heartbeat was dropping and all (Y/n) could figure out from their hushed whispers was that James was stuck.
When the doctor came into the room he had an attitude Ben didn't care for, he wasn't sympathetic and he didn't bother talking them through what was happening or tell them what he was doing. But Ben hated what he had done to (Y/n). She was a scared eighteen year old girl in labour who was getting concerned for her baby and he was crude and uncaring with her. He had to intervene and cut (Y/n) in order for James to be born and he gave (Y/n) no warning or indications as to what he was doing.
Ben could still hear the screams (Y/n) let out and the river of blood that soaked the sheets. He had butchered (Y/n) and when James was finally born he hadn't been breathing, one of the midwives had to take James from the doctor and get him to start breathing.
For a few dreaded moments in that delivery room Ben thought he was going to lose both his wife and son. (Y/n) had to have a blood transfusion from the amount of blood she lost when the doctor intervened and she blacked out more than once and then James hadn't been breathing and struggled for the first few days of his life.
"Doll, come here." Ben was slow and careful when he reached out for (Y/n) and pulled her into his chest, having had enough of watching her crying and feeling a desperate urge to comfort her.
(Y/n) buried her face in Ben's shirt but only for a few moments before she felt his hands gently cupping her face, tilting her head up so she was looking up at him. He didn't know how to stop her from panicking or fearing that she was going to be hurt in the same way that she was before but all he could do was reassure her that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her like that again. Ben would never forgive himself for not kicking that doctor out the moment he came in with the wrong attitude and an uncaring nature. But he wouldn't make the same mistake again.
"I know your afraid and I don't expect anything less, but we're eight months into this now and I'm sorry baby, I really am, but this baby is coming one way or another and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm calling that midwife back and getting you an appointment so she can talk you through this. You can't stop this from happening but at least you can be prepared and have some help."
No matter how many times (Y/n) said she didn't want to go through labour again despite wanting this baby, it was going to happen. There was no other way around it but at least if Ben took her to see the midwife then (Y/n) could have some help and support through this because she wasn't coping well at all.
The closer she got to her due date, the worse her anxiety was getting.
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"Okay, well baby's a little on the small side but that's nothing to worry about, the heartbeat is strong and they seem perfectly healthy."
Ben looked up at (Y/n) intently, watching the way she smiled at the news and looked down at her stomach like she wished she had x-ray vision to be able to see the baby. But he could also see the anxiety pooling in her eyes because this appointment only showed her that in less than a month she would be reliving her worst nightmare.
He reached over and gently grazed his hand against (Y/n)'s stomach for a few seconds before (Y/n) sat up and cleaned the gel from her stomach. Ben could see in (Y/n)'s eyes that she wanted to say something along the lines of I told you so. She cancelled her appointments because she was scared and wanted to act like this pregnancy wasn't happening and she knew from a mother's instinct that the baby was okay. This only proved that she was right but Ben would rather be safe than sorry.
"Now, Ben told me that you've been getting worried about going into labour, if that's the case then we can help and try to prepare you for that." The midwife took a seat in front of the couple as (Y/n) pulled her shirt back down over her stomach. The light seemed to dwindle from (Y/n)'s eyes and the smile faded instantly from her lips at the change in topic.
"Can you stop it from happening?"
The sarcasm in (Y/n)'s voice was drowned out by fear and it made the midwife's expression fall and a sigh pass through her lips. It was never a good thing to have to console a worried mother but this kind of worry was the worst because there was nothing that could be done to avoid this.
"I'm afraid all I can do is try to ease your worries and prepare you for labour. (Y/n) there are many mothers with this kind of worry and I'm here to help you, what exactly is it about labour that's worrying you?"
"No one prepared me last time, no one told me a doctor could come in and cut me like a piece of meat and let me bleed out and go through that pain. No one said he could rip my baby from me like that and then not bother to help him when he wasn't breathing. How can you help me, can you stop me from going through labour again because I don't want to do it. I can't feel that kind of pain again I don't want to!"
There had been a lot of people who talked (Y/n) through what could happen during her first pregnancy, but not one person had said that a doctor might need to intervene. No one said she might need a doctor to cut her up in order to get her baby out who was stuck and in distress. And nobody told her that the doctor wouldn't need her permission in order to do that, he could waltz in whenever he liked and take charge of her body and the situation.
"Doll calm down." Ben stood up from his seat and rested his hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders but his quiet words made no difference to her.
"No! No one is coming near me or this baby because I'm not going through that again." (Y/n) pushed herself off the bed she had been lying on but she didn't get two steps towards the door before Ben's hands were around her arms and he pulled her to a stand still.
"Doll I don't know what you want us to do... couldn't she have a C-section or something, then she doesn't have to go through it again?" Ben looked between (Y/n) and the midwife as he moved round so he was standing in front of (Y/n) allowing him to pull her into his chest. He knotted his hand in her hair, massaging his fingers into her scalp as his other arm wrapped around (Y/n)'s waist and it hurt Ben to feel how badly (Y/n) was shaking against him.
Her hands were fisting in his shirt tightly and he could feel her tears soaking into his shirt.
"C-sections are only if the mother is ill or unable to give birth naturally or if there is a problem with the baby."
"Then why didn't I get one before instead of him c-cutting me?" (Y/n) kept her face buried in Ben's shirt, not daring to look at the midwife because it wasn't her fault but her words were still making (Y/n) angry. Why couldn't she of had one with James when he became distressed rather than being sliced apart by a doctor who seemed to like hurting his patients.
"If the doctor had to intervene with your labour then I don't think there would have been time to give you a C-section. (Y/n) I can see how distressed the thought of labour is making you but this is your second pregnancy, most women don't need any intervention with a second baby. And although the hospital would be better, you could always have a home birth if that would make you feel any more comfortable."
"I don't want a home birth I don't want to give birth at all! I can't... I don't want to get hurt..."
(Y/n) tightened her hands in Ben's shirt but all she wanted to do was curl up and disappear. This baby didn't seem worth the pain that she would have to endure. James was worth the pain, he was their perfect boy but the point was (Y/n) didn't have a choice with that pain. Maybe she would have still endured it if she had the choice, she had loved James from the moment she found out she was pregnant and she would have gone through with that labour again for him.
But she didn't feel a connection with this baby because she was too afraid of how she might get hurt or become ill or even worse due to this baby. (Y/n) kept telling herself that when this was all over and done with, she would be okay. She would hold her baby and feel overwhelming love like she did with James and (Y/n) prayed to God that it was true. But (Y/n) didn't want to go through the pain to find out.
"Shh, shh doll it's okay. I swear no one's gonna hurt you this time, I won't let them touch you."
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angelmichelangelo · 3 years
Text
i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:
- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode
- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao
- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards
- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO
- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.
- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.
- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress
- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal
- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good
- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.
- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(
- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun
- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)
- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams
- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc
- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU
- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh
- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better
there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad
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angeltrapz · 3 years
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saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal
shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)
also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.
I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.
and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.
family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!
this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.
holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.
fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)
Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.
inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.
n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!
thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk
(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)
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so im just going to have to sit here and deal with the fact that ADAM is absolutely unhinged and if i emotionally distance myself from the other characters i have to say this man is an absolute blast of a villain
like, yes the flamboyant borderline pedophilic bastard with a weird notion of love and just enough nostalgic backstory to evoke the slightest bit of sympathy in the user, and if not sympathy then just plain curiosity as to how this fucker ended up the way he did
like there's this very casual buildup to his complete fuckery; we start with rude and alienated and extravagant with the slightest hint of pedophilia and we go yeah, yeah he's the antagonist and then he starts flirting?? with our seventeen year old definitely-a-minor protag in his weird creepy way?? and like yeah he's definitely perverted and creepy and the living personification of MAKES-ME-FEEL-UNSAFE-IN-THE-SAFETY-OF-MY-ROOM and like that's the target right? that's what they're going for
not to mention, the way he treats tadashi, right? his closest friend, his only confidante, the only person he trusts enough to help him with his shady af double life on the tracks of S !! and he calls him a dog, treats him the way a crappy excuse for a human would treat a stray mutt and is generally super tasteless and extra which is pretty in character of him and you're like surely there is no redemption for this man right?
and there isn't! there is absolutely no redemption for him,,,
,,,but then we have the fleeting moments of vulnerability, of his aunt's revealing their shitty personalities and the way they've tormented ainosuke his whole life and how skating was his only reprieve that was also brutally snatched away from him and so he's filled with bitterness like; yeah, sympathy maybe, sure
and maybe that even explains his toxic and disgusting view on the class divide, maybe it's been forced upon him by his aunts (which btw i can totally see happening, what with the way they completely purged ainosuke of any capability of love) and that coupled with his own bitterness stemming from the fact that tadashi didn't stand up for him in a place where ainosuke genuinely believes he should have (and btw don't get me wrong, tadashi is Not at fault here because his literal life would have been on the line had he tried to defend his master's stupid skating hobby and yeah im saying ainosuke is an entitled piece of ass but that's the thing about entitlement; it blinds you) and still no redemption, but it's just enough to keep you on your toes
// mentions of abuse, emotional manipulation and all the ugly business
and oh, did i mention he had a tragic past? verbal and physical abuse that bent and rewired his concepts of love so that he started to view abuse and hatred as love and care and the determined reassurance from every character who knew him in the past, oh he wasn't like this before and he changed for the worse and like okay, yeah maybe he has some shred of humanity within him
and his interactions with cherry and joe and tadashi back then, that smiling laughing kid of the past being pushed around on the board by tadashi, that quiet terrified little boy hiding in the corner because even though his aunts told him they were punishing him out of love it still hurt and he was terrified, he didn't want to go back to that and so tadashi helped him out of there, offered him a way out on four wheels and a rush of adrenaline and then that same tadashi who was a hero in ainosuke's eyes ended up betraying him in front of his father
the same ADAM who formed an important bond with his best friends and started a whole underground skating movement with them, the same person who kaoru was (im assuming) wildly in love with, to the point that this relationship of theirs blinded him into complete faith and was the ultimate reason why he lost against ADAM in this episode
and like. we see this huge divide between childhood + teenage ainosuke and the way he just wanted to skate because he enjoyed skating, skate to escape from the pain of his responsibilities, skate because he loved his friends and then we have adult ADAM, this wildly unpredictable man-child who flirts with a seventeen year old because he genuinely believes the two of them are made for each other and it really gets you wondering as to whether he really was this manipulative sleazebag in desperate need of therapy all along, or whether something changed along the way that made him who he is today, whether cherry and tadashi, the two people whom we know to be near-canonically in love with ainosuke, were right about him all along and that underneath that terrifyingly creepy façade he's,,, secretly a good guy?
and they rope you along! even if it's just for a second, you feel that slightest bit of sympathy for the bullshit he's gone through like yeah i hate the fucker, but i sincerely wish he manages to free himself from the shackles of a life he didn't want and that he gets that catharsis for all the pain he's suffered-
-AND THEN HE UP AND FUCKING DECKS CHERRY IN THE FACE WITH A SKATEBOARD WHILE THE MAN WAS COMING AT HIM AT NEARLY THIRTY MILES PER HOUR??? BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GET A POINT ACROSS???
man.
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witch-of-ren · 3 years
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hi!! I saw your post titled "Hades' library" and was wondering if you've read anymore books with him since then? im a huge book reader and a Hades devotee that's trying to get back onto better devotionals for him since ive been struggling, so I thought I'd share that w him :) is the night circus good? id love more recs, im more into fiction books but anything u got I can try!! tysm
Hi! 
I have not read anymore books with him, or even finished Night Circus. I’ve been struggling to really get into books recently and reading has seemed like a chore rather than something fun for me recently. BUT that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a ton of books to recommend. I got carried away, so they’re under the cut. :P
The Night Circus, for one. It’s very good! Erin Morgenstern is one of my favorite authors and that book is beautifully done. It has magic, mystery, romance...pretty much everything you could ask for. Including POC cast (Tsukiko being one of my favorites) and LGBT characters. “The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not.”
Next up...The Starless Sea. Another Erin Morgenstern book. I daresay this was better than The Night Circus. Again, POC cast and LGBT. The main romance is LGBT and done very well. Mystery, magic, witchcraft...it’s got a wonderful plot. I read it all in two days, the majority in one sitting and it felt like coming out of a deep sleep when I was done. One of the tattoos I plan to get is going to be related to that book.  “Strange, isn’t it? To love a book. When the words on the pages become so precious that they feel like part of your own history because they are. It’s nice to finally have someone read stories I know so intimately.”
It’s been awhile since I’ve read it, but Even the Darkest Stars (Heather Fawcett) was a good one. It has a sequel now and I keep meaning to read it. Another fantasy one. Magic, witches, demons, adventures. This is similar to the Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone series/Six of Crows) with its setting and some of the magic, but there’s some solid differences. The ending made me mad but I think it sets up the sequel well.  “I wanted to push against the world and feel it push back.”
The Deep by Rivers Solomon is a short novel, perhaps one would call it a novella. It’s POC centered and it has an intense storyline. LGBT if I remember, too. Gorgeous story about mermaids who descended from African people thrown overboard on slave ships as they came to America.  “What does it mean to be born of the dead? What does it mean to begin?”
While we’re talking about mermaids, here’s my plug for the Waterfire Saga (starting with Deep Blue). It’s actually really good and I adored reading it. I think I read through the whole series in one sitting while I was sick once. “One is not born knowing how to lead, one learns.”
These next few are going to be more in the realistic fiction, young adult fiction genre but there’s a reason for each. A piece of what, personally, working with Hades is supposed to mean and what he can represent in a relationship.
My Fairy Godmother is A Drag Queen (David Clawson). It’s a new take on an old fairytale in a modern age, but the message underlying is to be yourself and be that unapologetically. And that money and fame don’t buy happiness. It’s a humorous book and I really need to read it again. “I just felt like . . . me. And whatever “me” meant, that was perfectly fine and absolutely enough. Everyone should feel that kind of peace and self-acceptance far more often than I think most of us do.”
Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman (I’d say any of her books besides Infinity Courts, since that’s a different genre, but there’s two I’d like to talk about in particular). This book features POC cast. I believe Kiko, the protag, is half Japanese and half white? The message here is similar to the one above, but it deals more with breaking away from the trauma added on to expectations or an external force. I saw a lot of my relationship with my step-grandmother in this story and I sent a copy to my cousin. We both learned and grew and healed from this story and the lesson taught.  “I want to find self-worth without needing it to come from someone's approval.”
Summer Bird Blue (Akemi Dawn Bowman). This one is a lot heavier, topic wise. And actually, it’s really fitting for me at the moment. The main character loses her sister and has to figure out life without her. She goes through a period where she loses touch with her music, one of the most important things to her. It’s written partly in Pidgin (a mix of English and Hawaiian) so good luck, but it’s a beautiful story of healing and recovering from losing your other half. “Grief is a monster - not everyone gets out alive, and those who do might only survive in pieces. But it's a monster that can be conquered, with time.”
Broken Things (Lauren Oliver) Murder mystery! Uncovering the truth and laying an old friend to rest. But with drama and healing. It’s told really well and the ending caught me so off guard. I usually can’t read murder mysteries because I always guess the ending and am disappointed when I’m right. Couldn’t have guessed this one.  “That’s the thing about hearts. They don’t get put back together, not really. They just get patched. But the damage is still there.”
Finally...They Both Die at The End (Adam Silvera). Coming to terms with the inevitable end of life. This book follows to characters who know they’re going to die. LGBT romance in here as well. It’s a wild ride of a book and well, the title is completely true. There’s dealing with guilt, regret, anxiety, and other feelings that someone on their deathbed would usually have.  “Maybe it's better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs.”
I hope that gives you some ideas! Some of these deal with really heavy topics, so please look into that just to be sure so you’re not caught off guard. 
- Ren
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ziracona · 4 years
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I reread your bit about rin in the last chapter and oh my god im crying. You did my girl justice. I'm so proud of her and i'm glad she had fun. I love the thought that she's helping him in little ways. ;') and oh my god. i love the myers siblings. Do you mind if I ask for hcs? because oooohhhmygod. need more
Awww thank you so much! I really liked the Adam-Rin segment too. I wanted to talk about Rin, but being an Onryo made it so I just couldn’t feasibly in the bulk of the story. Really glad I still got to give her her moment in the sun. : ) Adam’s such a great dude too, and I’m so happy he found meaning the way he did and keeps up such an active and deep relationship with someone who’s passed on. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I think it’s kind, and meaningful. And sure! I’m not sure if you mean Laurie and Mikey or Judith too since I got a few Judith asks yesterday, but ima assume this is ILM related and you’re looking for post-fic Laurie & Michael (sorry if that’s not the intended ask TuT). I did more but this is already a lot so I didn’t post them all haha. Here you go!
Laurie would be very unlikely to make the first move in a romantic relationship. She’s so used to prioritising survival, even when she’s okay again her brain is always, “keep homeostasis” as her directive, and adding a relationship does not fall under that listing. That said, she definitely still develops feelings, and would want things to happen. But I think it would be slow. I think with Laurie, she’d be going to lunches and having long talks and drinks and staying up and falling asleep on the couch together, in and out like each others’ presence belongs in their respective homes, come to each other for support and with hard days and for life advice, go to the theatre together and let them buy her a drink like they always do without being asked, brought back a nice gift from a trip, she waits up for them to get home to greet them, for like 1-3 years solid before one day they just take her hand and kind of smile and she realises she’s been in a relationship for two years and they just never said it, and maybe they won’t now, maybe not for another two years, but they know it, and she’s so happy.
Michael never cuts his hair short, but does not mind Laurie making him let her give him ponytails when they’re working on something, because it does get in his face.
Laurie softballs Michael for a while, since, well, she’s trying to help him reintegrate into society as a human being after having had a childhood that was basically just a 15 year stretch of psychological trauma, and being kind and supportive is a must. But after a few years, she’s gotten much more comfortable and sibling-ish in her interactions. She’ll definitely still be serious and supportive if anything happens and he needs it, but she’ll also give him shit for eating her food or not getting up off the bed she’s trying to make. He enjoys annoying her and does it for fun. Will hold eye contact and eat the cupcake she was saving just to watch her flip, like a cat batting an orange off a counter (or, you know, a sibling who’s feeling /that/ vibe rn.)
Laurie is 99% of Michael’s impulse control. If he and Quentin do something together without her, it /will/ be a disaster, because where Laurie inflicts neutral levels of chaos on the group w her lawful, Michael will almost instantaneously get Quentin to swap from lawful to chaos if she’s not there. They will both be fine, but there /will/ be something on fire when she gets back.
Laurie, walking into the house and seeing then throwing objects into a burning wastebasket in the living room: I don’t like what I’m seeing. Bring me up to speed.
Quentin: So, we maybe have illegally destroyed a car—but it’s okay! We had a good reason! Plus, we destroyed the evidence. Let me explain. So, this guy-
Laurie: :/
Michael: *gives her a ‘what’s your problem?’ gesture*
Michael and Laurie physically fight for nostalgia’s sake sometimes (for fun-get exasperated and performatively MMA. They would not actually injure each other).
One time, Laurie and Michael were walking home together from a movie and a guy drove by and whistled at Laurie and said something vulgar, and Michael stepped into the road and smashed the front of his car with his foot. It was beautiful. They did have to flee the scene but Laurie was /gleeful/. The dude in the car saw his gd life flash before his eyes and rethought some life choices.
It is a long time before Michael is willing to take any kind of meds for his psychosis (very understandably), but when Quentin eventually graduates Med school, six or so years later (bless u Jake for forging him some credits), he is willing to try a few given by him. It is not a good or easy couple of months, but he does it.
Michael gets along surprisingly well with the survivors. Most of them are pretty intimidated, but he’s genuinely chill, and they’ve been through weirder shit so 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s like “Welp. This might as well happen.” and accept him in. Meg is a big thot. She’s into Susie and would never cheat and Susie knows this, but Meg will still flirt like crazy with Michael bc it’s her personality, and Michael, who’s never had this ever happen, is /beyond/ confused. Every time she says something stupid like, “Damn you’re tall. If I wasn’t a married woman, I’d climb you like a jungle gym.” He gives her the exact look Sam gives Gollum when he’s dissing potatoes in lotr.
Since she knew his and his family’s whole names and his wife’s face, Laurie tracks down Sujan’s family and tells them everything she can about what happened and how good he was, and what a difference the first person in the realm who was kind to her made.
Michael really enjoys traveling. He’s been cooped up his whole life. Spent 15 years in one little white room, and then 40 in reproductions of Haddonfield in the realm. Really, except for his solo journey from Wisconsin to home, he’s never left the state of Illinois. He goes with the survivor squad on their group trips, once he’s comfortable enough, and is consistently amazed. He’s not a very visibly emotive person, and can’t physically be bc of his psychosis symptoms, but his eyes will get big seeing the northern lights from a platform, and he’ll grab Laurie or Quentin’s wrist & point to make sure they’re seeing it too, and Laurie has never been so happy. After his first trip, he very much looks forward to the annual event.
Dr. Loomis is the only thing Michael as an adult has ever feared. (Obviously all humans feel temporary fear, like if a car comes at you or someone with a gun. But past instantaneous shock-fear, I don’t think Michael has ever been afraid of anyone else). This is based off of canon, because to me Michael reads as scared of him, especially in Halloween 2. He pauses and then retreats from Loomis in the first film, and when he sees Loomis running down streets looking for him in 2, he hides (I actually really love the Michael pov in Halloween 2 in the open. It was very humanising). Then, at the end of 2, when he’s blind and Laurie and Loomis have filled the room with ether, and Loomis tells him it’s over, he stops trying to find and kill Loomis and freezes. I genuinely think because he was scared of Loomis and has been for years (after that treatment constantly in isolation as a child, how could he not be?) and has known since he was 6 Loomis wants to kill him, so when he basically says “I’m about to kill you,” he believes him and it scares him. It’s the axe that’s been waiting to drop since he was a kid.
Laurie goes to cons with Nea, Quentin, & Min occasionally, and has dressed up as all three OG Star Wars protagonists like the lovely huge nerd she is. Has also made Michael sit down and watch all the movies w her.
Michael and Laurie go visit Judith a lot. They’ll pack a picnic lunch and talk with her and about her at her grave. It was very hard the first time they went there, especially for Michael, but after a while, it helps. It’s a way to deal with what was done in the past that makes it seem surmountable. It also helps to deal with the loss of someone they both cared for. When they go, Laurie always gets Michael to tell her something about her older sister she hast heard yet. David tracks down an old high school album from 1963, and is able to get three pictures of Judith colorised and they’re able to have a nice full-color photo of her to hang up in the house.
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xxkellsvixen19xx · 5 years
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You are Michael's partner/one & only/second-in-charge. You & Outpost Michael have gotten into an argument regarding the selections & you've had enough of him having the last word. While he's away from your chamber, you pack up & secretly leave the bunker towards the next Outpost without a word of where you're going. Michael immediately senses your absence and ... how will he react to this? 🤔
Breach Michael x Reader
Word Count 1,895
A/N: absolutely loved this concept enjoyed working with it!
Requested by @master-langdon
It was a cold grey day in late November. The weather had changed overnight, when a backing wind brought a granite sky and the nuclear winter with it. It has officially been eighteen months since the bombs fell beginning the apocalypse.
Y/N stepped out of the carriage that had pulled up outside of Outpost 3. Looking around it could best be described as a scene out of a low budget horror movie, there was rarely much left that would pass as suitable much less look like an even remote possibility of surviving. To you it looked like ground zero and to be completely honest it left you with a rather superstitious feeling, hell it actual creeped you out.
Y/N and Michael arrived at outpost 3 it was the fourth one they have visited that actually had even.an inkling of any survivors. The first three outposts they has been either abandoned, destroyed or in the case of the output they visited in Syracuse New York the survivors had been massacred.
Y/N stood inside the main commons area a little later on. Michael glided across the floor im stealth like movement. The nervous faces of the survivors watched in anticipation
Michael spoke up piercing the dead silence that had fallen across the room. “My name is Langdon and I represent the Cooperative, I won't sugar coat the situation humanity is on the brink. My arrival here is critical to the future of your survival.”
When leadership from the Cooperative arrive it was a moment that caught everyone by surprise. Michael is Venable's superior within the Cooperative, she was unaware that a representative had any intentions of course unexpectedly, Michael stood in front of the fire in the commons area. He says the other outposts had been overrun — by what, he didn't specify — and that Outpost 3 is the only surviving beacon besides another mysterious "facility" that he now wants to whisk some of the survivors to.
The questions started firing out one after the other, where was this 'sanctuary. Was there enough food supplies tp last, ect.. ect. Michael turned his head cocking it to the side, he looked stoic showing no sign of commotion. “Classified!” He responded sharply. A few more questions were asked, each receiving that same answer.. “It should take a few days at the most to conduct my interviews and can inform everyone of the results shortly after.
Michael and Y/N had been involved in a relationship for years on both a professional level as well as personal. You served as a second in command to Michael as your role in the Cooperative. They both held in their possession ID cards that contain their signatures. Michael's saying"President" and yours "Chancellor" of the Cooperative, as well as having ID numbers, ranking numbers, and other coding. Your role being that it is second in command means that in the event that Michael that was unable to or not present to carry out the work of the Cooperative then you would act in his place.
There were times that you both equally worked together, but when Y/N and Michael started to pay visits to the outposts to conduct the interviews you noticed that Michael was adamant about doing these interviews himself. You tried on multiple occasions to offer your help because honestly you felt like why should one person be bogged down with all that work it's stressful. Michael often spent late hours either conducting interviews or he was going over files or emails in his laptop.
It wasn't uncommon for you to loiter around the passageways or close to his office door to hear that was discussed between him and the survivor being questioned at that time. Y/N paid attention and absorbed info that she retained to be able to formulate your own observation/opinion as well. Normally you two were able to talk to each other when it came to any matters pertaining to the Cooperative. Y/N and Michael had that dynamic where they could talk to one another, discuss options, offer insight and work together for results. You couldn't understand why Michael seemed to be keeping you 'in the dark’ when it came to the interviews and the information revolving around it. At first you didn't confront him about anything. You stayed pretty closed lipped, knowing that given time you would bring it up. Timing was everything when it came to approaching Michael with something Y/N know was viewed as controversial and or possibly sensitive.
Y/N at various points of time had the opportunity to gain enough info on each of the survivors of Outpost 3. You weren't certain who Michael in his opinion deemed as worthy to join you both at the sanctuary. Ultimately when it came to making choices you were known to think practically and logically. You took into consideration with each person their strengths, weaknesses, the positive and the negative.
Y/N approached Michael carefully, you happen to catch him in a halfway decent mood so you hoped that maybe that since you were discussing this that maybe it would be done so in a civilized manner. “I take it the interview process must be completed.” You observed. “Just about, got a few more to take place tomorrow evening. I may some in mind though but waiting to see after I complete the final ones though.” He responded not looking up from his laptop. You had paid careful attention to who he had already interviewed, you knew exactly when and who as most of the interviews took place when everyone was gathered in the commons area. You would watch as Mrs. Mead approached each party saying “Mr. Langdon wishes to speak with you.” The only two people left yet to be interviewed was Mallory (the grey) and Andre Dinah Stevens son.
You were vaguely curious as to who Michael had in mind or thought to be worthy. “Oh really… who are the possible viable candidates if you don't mind me asking.” You asked carefully silently hoping that he would answer. Michael paused momentarily to briefly look up at you, “Mrs St Pierre Vanderbilt and Gallant.” Your jaw dropped slightly and your eyes held a shocked expression. You just as quickly regained your composer praying that Michael hadn't witnessed your initial reaction of absolute shock. “I have been paying attention to the inhabitants here, just from witnessing actions, overhearing conversations ect it seems to me that Mr Campbell and Emily seem to be viable.” Out of those you have had the opportunity to observe as well as overhear conversations about that those two seemed pretty decent. They seemed level headed and out of those that were currently residing there they had the most common sense.
Michael let out an amused chuckle “When we begin our journey through the new world I would rather have people with experience. Not deal with two fairly wet behind the ear young adults.” You felt your anger rise, normally you and Michael could talk to each other, or at least discuss things maturely. You took a deep breath before you spoke again…”Michael..you might want to consider this. Others may have not acted with the best of intentions—and that you might not know the whole story.” Michael's eyes flushed red, he was definitely angry. Despite the fact that you appreciated this as tactfully as possible it was clear you still somehow managed to strike a nerve with you. There was clearly some difference of opinion, which is heartening, you did your best to hide your emotions from Michael.
You made a final attempt to try and discuss this with him. “I understand it can be a slight oversight..” Pausing for a moment you tried to approach this professionally. “Maybe you haven’t finished thinking this through, the whole selection process a surprise to you, or you want to get a clearer sense of what is going on,” Michael's eyes held yours in a stare that read quite defensive, “I know what I am doing Y/N just drop it!” You could see that your difference of opinion is based partly on the differing understandings of the purpose of the purpose at hand. You didn't say anything more, it seemed clear that Michael wasn't open minded enough to listen to your point of view on this.
The next day while Michael conducted the final two interviews you remained back in the suite packing your things. Michael seemed determined to handle the selection process in his own way here, you took it upon yourself to leave before him to the next outpost. You wanted to handle things professionally and fairly, Michael however seemed to make it personal. Later on that night Michael returned back to the suite, it had been a long day. He didn't completely notice it at first, at one point he caught sight of a dresser drawer that was open ajar. Michael immediately got the sense that something was off, he opened the drawer all the way it was completely empty. Michael looked through the rest of the drawers and your side of the armoire..bare empty everything of yours no longer there. You were gone. Michael had never been so confused in his whole entire life. He didn't understand, why, why had he allowed this to get to this point?
Michael needed to see Y/N again, to speak to her but he was faced with a simple conundrum: what should I do next? Email her? Would the Cooperative or anyone know of your where abouts? Michael could only blame himself, he had let a personal vendetta get in the way of not only a professional relationship but his feelings for Y/N.
Michael POV…
‘My beloved Y/N, you are the greatest thing in my life and it breaks my heart to see that I have hurt you. I hate knowing that I have upset you. The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings and make you feel insuperior. To make you think that your opinions hold no value. You mean the world to me. You deserve so much better than this and I promise I will make this right, Please Y/N forgive me and I hope that I can prove that I mean it when I say that I am sorry.’
An encrypted email came through from Jeff Pfister, Y/N had left heading to outpost 8 in Phoenix Arizona. Michael wasted no time on packing up his things and heading that way. He was going to make this right with you no matter what it took, you were far to important to him professionally and personally to let it end this way.
Neither Michael nor Y/N depend on the other for their feelings of self worth- they know in their heart that they are just as valuable to the world as the other. Good looking, optimistic, and they spark a light in the world that people recognize that goes beyond a normal relationship.
They are the perfect power couple...one of them is flawed, the other makes up for their weaknesses in their strength. Together they are the epitome of what anyone would desire in a relationship. They encourage goodness in the world and make it a better place by being together.
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death-himself · 5 years
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enjoy my theories and me connecting dots that weren’t meant to be connected and also random notes
this is from my third time watching the new episode, including every single tiny detail i noticed because when it comes to theorizing i either dont do anything or go all out
also know that I am terrible at reading facial expressions so most of those parts are likely wrong
(under the cut because on google docs it said it was 7 pages long and i am afraid)
virgil looks automatically anxious and frustrated
logan stutters a lot after roman makes the "take off your glasses" joke and i cant tell if hes confused or if hes actually offended by that
what they all say the first time they yell at logan: virgil: "shut up before i shut you up" thomas: "WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH" patton: "hey now heeeyy nowww" slowly turning into song
thomas calls virgil "the purp man"
references to Sword and the stone? may refer to something?
second time they yell at logan: virgil: "i'm gonna prohibit your BREATHING if you keep this up" (damn virge calm down) thomas: "please stop please i really dont want to think about it" patton doesnt speak (im pretty sure)
virgil glances at thomas a lot
is it just me or around the time virgil says "we're going to talk about something else now" he starts to sound a lot like deceit? Especially with that "sure"
roman gets easily distracted
"of course you're not a chick. You're a metaphysical human being. A chick is a really ??? girl"
why does remus appear behind the TV?
patton notices remus when saying "evil" virgil notices remus when saying "show up" and his tempest tongue comes in
when roman get knocked out the first time virgil looks at thomas like hes frustrated or annoyed maybe he looks at thomas like that because he thought it was thomas that was to blame for him showing up? since he was the one to have those intrusive thoughts?
also why does remus smack roman with a morning star?
all dark sides wear eye shadow confirmed
also this disproves the theory that all dark sides have a more animalistic features, therefore proving the headcanon that deceit just puts on makeup to look like he has scales on his face because hes dramatic
virgil looks kind of scared right before the song starts
during the song: logan looks done with everything thomas looks scared virgil looks furious and maybe defensive (that snarl tho) patton looks confused
why is patton of all sides to be the one to puke out remus (that's probably not the weirdest line i've written)
Remus considers any creativity that isn't dirty or horrific (aka his stuff) to be dull or boring
I think the A-Z part of the song is a reference to this one song video about the ABCs of ways to die but i have no clue
Even early on in the song when logan says "It's fine" it shows that hes trying to sort this out and get to the problem, but Remus prevents him from continuing, then allows Pat and Virge to say their thoughts
ROMAN CALLS REMUS "BRO" 8 MINUTES IN
"recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge" reference to deceit but also adam and eve
one of deceit's hands is holding a gavel reference to SvS
also deceit wears a coat just sayin
"No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you" this means that deceit really doesn't want thomas to lie to himself
why is deceit always the one with multiple arms when half his face is a snake? snakes dont have arms
Is remus holding up the mirror to thomas a reference to remus and roman basically being mirror images of each other?
Remus is SO PALE compared to thomas WHICH IS WEIRD CUZ THOMAS IS ALREADY REALLY PALE
I think remus is actually a lot smarter than he seems he knows how to manipulate thomas into believing hes a bad person by using religious topics and language, something that's been with thomas his whole life
also while remus is singing about hell he turns from normal to fully colored green, similar to all the other sides
Virgil looks so disturbed and frustrated after the song
"I'm really stupid right now" MOOD
when remus agrees with thomas that roman's his creativity he's just like "yeah...." SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS TO A T
Virgil and Remus argue like they know each other super well
Patton's so pure he doesn't even like to say "B-hole" precious dad
Remus uses words that have been said before to back himself up "Why do you want to stifle your own creativity, thomas?" 12 Days of Christmas: "We shouldn't stifle Roman's creative whimsy!" also all the other times roman's admitted to feeling ignored
Virgil's so uncomfortable he might have been afraid that remus would outright say that hes a dark side (bc honestly remus seems like the kind of guy to do that)
Why does remus like Jeffery Dommer so much?
also when remus turned his head to the side at about 10:30 the music matches and sounds like hes cracking his neck
Remus gets confused for a moment when Logan takes his "lot of good that did him!" seriously this seems to be a recurring theme throughout all the dark sides: them being confused by logan taking things literally You think I'm joking? I'm not Virgil early on gets frustrated that logan seems to "only take what he says literally" and I'm pretty sure I remember some time where deceit has to stop to process the fact that logan took one of his metaphors seriously
LOGAN IS A PSYCHOLOGY NERD AND WOULD LIKELY BE A PRETTY DECENT THERAPIST. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE MY MIND
Patton looks so scared when logan asks him to do the experiment. Hes like "what? what do you need me for? what's going on?"
virgil looks so tired and annoyed when he says "good save"
LOGAN GIVING OUT VALIDATION TO PATTON AND THEN LATER TO VIRGIL IS ADORABLE
wait does virgil blow at his bangs whenever he's really annoyed or anxious? because he did that in moving on part 2 while he was dealing with his panic attack in pattons room and then in this episode where he is clearly anxious throughout the whole thing
"No mommy I dont want the mashed potatoes" ROMAN HAS A MOM WHICH MEANS THAT REMUS HAS A MOM BUT WHO TF IS THEIR MOM
when thomas calls remus scary and he responds with that it sounds like a virgil problem Virgil glares at him so clearly defensive and angry remus just smiles like "yeah, i know whats going on"
virgil's the only one who doesnt suspect logan to be deceit when remus claims it
you know when everyone was creating theories about who romans counterpart would be and everyone was expecting them to be extremely elegant and suave? yeah, why the fuck did we think that? If the dark sides are like mirror images of the light sides, then of course remus would be this chaotic demon with literally no elegance whatsoever roman's the elegant, romantic, graceful prince, so of course whatever remus is would be his opposite
Cane and Abel - another biblical reference
also after remus says that virgil looks like hes confused or maybe just deep in thought about something
self-immolate means to set fire to yourself i had to look it up too remus literally wants thomas to strip, set himself on fire and play shake it off
despite all the biblical references reeling thomas in, remus is sooo bad at getting his point across "and then the baby...dies" "AND NO ONE SURVIVES"
a demented version of that "hallelujah" thing plays while hes talking about the baby bird and the airplane
"I am YOUR creativity" at that it flashes to Virgil, who looks like hes thinking about it. probably a sort of build-up to show how long virgil thinks about it before admitting that remus had a point
virgil looks so nervous when remus says that hes never been one to soften the truth
"why would you aspire to be so...boring?" (i feel like the word aspire there is important for some reason)
patton tries so hard to believe that thomas is a good person to the point where he ignores logic
THAT TURN TO LOGAN REMUS DOES IS SO FRICKIN TERRIFYING
it seems like both remus and deceit seem to understand that logan is the most dangerous for them remus threatens logan to try and get him to stop talking deceit chucks logan to the very back of the courtroom in SvS
"TURN INTO A GHOST" "TURN INTO THE HULK"
"I merely gave him a baby...AND A LARGE SHARP KNIFE" ME
"one of you is enough!" I wonder how that line affected Virgil? since it's possible that at this time he was already doubting whether or not hes really grown
PATTON LITERALLY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT REPRESSION IS
that voice-crack when virgil says "But what if he's lying?" That might show how he feels about lying and deceit a bit more. he might be terrified at the thought of being lied to
paranoid is definitely a really bad word to virgil and the others know it. virgil and patton turn to look at logan the moment he says it, and logan freezes for a moment to change it into something better
when both virge and remus say "but what about jeffery dommer" virgil just looks so scared, his eyes darting around as if his mind is racing, probably worried that he really hasnt grown
they keep referring back to "that can't be where the bar is"
Logan says "figuratively" to stop Remus
"I LOVE BEING GIVEN TWO D's AT ONCE"
Virgil looks so afraid that he's still the bad guy in this its so sad
both patton and virgil laugh at poop jokes they are 29— they are very mature adults
"I would never hide anything from you" *glances at virgil* I feel like that might have been the moment virgil realized he couldn't just hide him being a dark side much longer
THEY DON'T EVEN LOOKED SCARED WHEN REMUS SCREAMED THEY JUST LOOKED ANNOYED
as the vid goes on remus tries more and more to be noticed
why did logan ask virgil how thomas was feeling instead of patton? was it because he knew thomas was really anxious or because he felt like patton would claim that he was feeling fine?
while everyone's calming down during logan's lecture, virgil just seems to grow more and more anxious, since he knows that he'll probably have to tell thomas that hes a dark side
thomas and virgil STILL dont want to go to a therapist
virgil just looks so guilty when thomas decides to lie down on the couch
"It was just like old times" when remus says that patton and logan just look so mad that he would say that
after that logan glances up at virgil to see how he feels aww
VIRGIL'S SMILE WHEN ROMAN GETS BACK UP IS SO UNSURE YET SO HOPEFUL AT THE SAME TIME
everyone just looks so proud of logan awww
virgil sounds so lost when hes about to reveal himself
he never calls them "the dark sides", just "the others"
virgil looks on the verge of tears when he says "because i was one of them". it shows how much this affects him, and how terrified he is to tell thomas. this is even more terrifying to him than telling them his name, which was shown to be an important thing to him
and afterwards thomas just goes silent, and looks so lost and confused, maybe even betrayed. he clearly needed a moment to think before saying anything
then virgil shrugs and leaves, his eyes red and full of tears, probably too scared to stay any longer
once he leaves thomas just stares at the ground processing the information
i’m bad at theorizing and my thoughts are a mess rn so all of this is probably complete shit
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archagentnexus · 6 years
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Archagent Scenes: Johann and Jakob Talk
(Scene Context + Synopsis: Johann and Jakob are at the top floor of the Archagent HQ tower in the hallway just before the doors to the High Chancellor's throne room. The two are arguing about the future of the Covenant in what direction it needs to go for the good of mankind. In this last half of their exchange, Jakob is appalled by Johann’s suggestion that they dissolve the House of Lords, a parliamentary congregation of wealthy/talented mages that are “elected” to represent their particular country or district of the country.)
[AN: There are a lot of references to the Archagent lore in this. So much so that I can’t really put up a reference page at the moment, but if you’re ever curious about more on the details of the context, just IM me or shoot me an ask!]
"Johann, y-you can't be serious! How could you say that after all we've done to stop the civil war? To put an end to the madness caused by Richtofen and his Eve of Adam?" cried out Jakob in disbelief. 
Johann held a strong posture with his hands folded meticulously behind his back as he was facing the window away from Jakob. "Do not presume to know me, child. I am aware that the Archagents who collaborated with the Eve, regardless of their intentions and personal beliefs, were dangerous fanatics and traitors to our cause. We are in agreeance on this... however..." His stoic expression becomes grim, almost angry when recollecting his thoughts on Eve’s attempted coup. "While I condemn their actions wholeheartedly and shun their New Human supremacy nonsense, the one thing I cannot ignore is their anger... and where it stems from." He turns his head over his shoulder just slightly to address Jakob more directly. "You of all people should have seen and heard what was going on in that battlefield... For on both sides, the Archagents did not just mourn the loss of their comrades, the people who they once called friends and family, but they screamed out in utter confusion... as to why protecting the House of Lords was considered loyal while the Eve's attempts at purging the corrupt Magistrate system was considered treason." 
Jakob bit his lower lip. He knew well enough what Johann was talking about. He was there. He knew where that pain stemmed from, that anger... and yet... "We don't get to decide that, Johann. You know the face of the New Eden Covenant depends on our ability to preserve our own ideals on democracy! We need that balance. We need to be able to divide that power amongst ourselves even if we disagree. How could the rest of the world view the Archagents as 'liberators' if we suddenly decide to become usurpers and act like our own brand of Gods? It's not right, nor is it just-"
“Just?!" roared out Johann as he turn around, picked up Jakob by the collar of his blouse several feet into the air and pinned the frail brunette against a marble pillar with his massive forearm. "Since when has turning a blind eye to the Magistrate's whole history of corruption ever been just?! Our whole civil war was made possible because of their petty factionalist politics, their greed, their exploitation of OUR ideals!" 
After a few seconds of taking deep breaths from the outburst, Johann released Jakob who collapsed on the floor wheezing as he struggled to get up and compose himself upright. "I... I understand why you're angry," said Jakob quietly. "I've read the archives... about the deal that was struck to stop the investigation on the German magistrates for any collaborators of the Hand of Faust in exchange for-" 
"You're too young to understand, child," interrupted Johann. "You haven't lived long enough to have seen that history yourself. You may have your books and your data, but you never had to sit there and watch the very people, the perpetrators to the destruction of your homeland, become part of the most powerful government in Western Europe and then watch them receive praise and gifts as if they were also heroes of humanity... You never had to hold your tongue and had to listen to the mass graves that cry out for justice when you knew you could deliver but chose not to... because you were told that this was for the greater good..." Johann's voice trailed off as he turned away and started pacing to cool himself off.
Jakob frowned deeply as he walked slowly and hesitantly over to the other. "I get it, Johann... I know what that's like. Believe me, I do. I-I know you've always looked down on me... for having been the Optic's branch leader because of the circumstances around Richtofen and the Third Generation... Not once did I ever believe that I deserved to take that position nor did I ever desire it myself, especially not after know who my predecessor was... but even still... the Third Generation was my fault. It was based on my serum, the one I thought Richtofen was going to implement safely with adults who willingly consented--- but ignorance is never an excuse for the lives lost. I know this... and I have to live with that every day, trying to make amends by helping the ones who did survive while ensuring that we never go down this route again... And for a long time, I felt that the burden of guilt was all on me, but I realize that... it's not just about me, but it's about how the Covenant had participated in letting it go this far... That's why for me, it's important that we always do the right thing, so we never have to go down that path again." 
Johann remained silent for a moment then he speaks without moving a muscle. "If you truly believe that, then you know that the right thing to do is to abolish the House of Lords and have the Magistrates subordinate to the Archagent's authority." 
"No! That isn't the right thing to do.... E-Even if we destroy what's corrupt, whatever we do to replace that system, to restructure our society, no matter what, it would be on a foundation of fear!"
"Humanity has always acted in the interest of embracing as well as combating their fears, Bishop. The fear of death, the fear of loss, the fear of being isolated and forgotten... these things drive every human instinct and rationale. It is not an unnatural thing that we should be honest about that. When the Magistrates fall in line, they will do so because being alive and having some semblance of their former power will be in their self-interest... Meanwhile the public will, for the most part, have no qualms about this either. They would be joyous at the fall of a decaying bureacracy set up by the elite Magistrates and would either cling to our promises of security, which we would always uphold justly, or they will quietly dissent amongst themselves, but they know either way, they wouldn't change a thing because we'll still provide for them everything else they need." 
"But you would take away the one thing that the Archagents had promised them from the very beginning, Johann," said Jakob sternly. "You would take away their hope."
"Hope!" scoffed Johann as he turned to face Jakob with distainful eyes. "And what use has hope to do with us now? They should be grateful that they still have hope to see tomorrow in which they are not yet forced under the heels of Angels or Demons! You are a man of science and rational thinking yet you fancied such pitiful thoughts as creating a system of governance soley based on hope?"
"And what is wrong with wanting to preserve hope?" demanded Jakob. "Is it not every man and woman's right to want something better for themselves and the people they love? Is it not our nature to desire the future in which we could be truly free from fear and not bound by it? I do not need to remind you... that the very core of our Psionics, our power, is predicated on the concept of our Willpower... and mind you, I would be damned if such a thing were never influenced by clinging to our hopes and our dreams." 
"Hmph. You speak appropriately for your youth. So silver tongued, yet damnably naive..." 
"And you talk as if you've never had hope once in your entire life!... But we both know that's a lie..." Jakob's expression softens now. "Somewhere in you, you must have believed in that too... at some point in your life, right?"
The muscles under Johann's visibly twinged with a mix of incomprehensible emotion before he snarled at the other. "Don't play therapist with me, child. That pitiful game only works on the broken and the lost, and I am neither of these things... And whatever hope I once felt before has long since past. You surely must have done your homework and read into my tragic history and how I lost my family all those decades ago, but I've since moved past that-" 
"I wasn't referring to that, Johann... I was talking about Sindro... your former apprentice."
Johann froze and for the first time in what seemed like decades, his expression lost color as it displayed shock.
"He and I were close friends you know, so... it shouldn't really come off as surprising in that he has talked plenty about his experiences with you when you mentored both him, Palladino, and Ulysses... He spoke highly of you, you know... and not in the obvious sense of how powerful or awe-inspiring you were as a leader, but how you were... 'coming around' near the end of the apprenticeship... He was proud to have been your apprentice, did you know that? He thought of you as his fath-" 
"Enough," snapped Johann though the anger in his voice trailed wistfully. 
Normally Jakob would have stopped to let the other recover and absorb all this, but the outcome of this conversation was too important to allow Johann's stubborness to reemerge. "Just answer me this. Did you not have high hopes for him at the time? When you got to shape him into the man that we knew and honored?"
"...So what if I did?" growled Johann. "Even then, where has that sentimentality led us? Led him? Six feet under, that's where! He didn't just carry my hopes, Bishop. He carried EVERYONE'S hopes! The day he died was the day... the day I'd failed him... that I let myself believe too much in the pipe dreams of a foolhardy boy who let the weight of his heroic symbol crush him, and because of that, I let him die when I could have been there to save him... It was the day I had to, once again, bury a son of my own making and then carry that pain with me until the day I die!" Johann gritted his teeth and tightened his fists, shouting at Jakob now. "Is that what you wanted to hear? That I’m just some senile old man who’s afraid of loss and pain? That I have no one else to protect while you have everything?"
"No, you're wrong, Johann!" insisted Jakob. "You don't have nothing... You may have secluded yourself from the rest of the world, but there are things that are still here for you. Your other students are still here and alive. Are they nothing? You wouldn't have trained them unless you felt something for them right? Or what about Zep in particular? Sindro's apprentice? His hopes and dreams live through Zep in a new light! Are you to tell me that everything you done to help Zep and everything that Zep has done to prove he's gotten strong enough to stand against an oppressive world means nothing?" 
Johann looked away in defiance as a look of pain and confusion marked his features. 
"And what about Elise?... Your own granddaughter? An individual who had nothing, was born into nothing, and yet she now sits as the new High Commander of the Sword Branch? A seat that you once held! Is she nothing to you?" 
"She is..." Johann started quietly, trying to think how to even answer such a thing like that. "...stronger without me... She always has been." 
"You don't believe that... I know you don't... and neither does she." 
"You talk and pry too much, Bishop... How can you even think to discuss family when you yourself have nothing of the sort?" 
Jakob gives a weary smile. "The Archagents are my family, Johann... They always have been... and that's why it's important, that as a brother-in-arms, that we win this fight the right way. But to do that, we need to... as you aptly put it in many of your speeches 'set the example and stand on which many may dream to stand on'... or something to that effect." He chuckles softly.
Johann scoffed. "Silver-tongued brat... You are lucky I am too old and tired to continue this further... but I will, out of respect for your insolence, contemplate... on what has been said..."
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cviperfan · 7 years
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OKAY DEATH NOTE 2017 THOUGHTS
Under a cut for length not spoilers because honestly who fucking cares
-So the movie commits many sins but principle among them are two 1) The Death Note is basically just a vehicle for gore porn, pretty much indistinguishable functionally from any other 'Cursed Object' type horror movie.  There's lip service paid to the suspense trappings of the original work but Wingard is clearly much more interested in the kind of brutal deaths that can be extracted from the Death Note's flexibility of options and far less in the moral quandaries that such an object would create, and Wingard's pre-release interview that expressed an interest in creating a Hard-R version of the story was at least for me a clear indicator that he was Wrong for the project, since grisly deaths are not what makes the story interesting, or in fact are even a priority.  The fact that the default way the Death Note kills in the original canon is a heart attack (by all intents a fairly 'clean' method of death) is there for a reason, as is the 2017 version's curious decision to specifically omit that detail.
(In Wingard's interview he expresses a desire to include the "adult themes of anime" which specifically include "nudity, swearing, tons of violence" to him, which suggests that his familiarity with the medium starts and ends with Ninja Scroll and nothing else and that he probably didn't actually watch Death Note outside of a cliffs notes he had an intern scribble out or something)
2) And this is much more fundamentally antithetical to the original work, but Light's transition from Villain protagonist to Reluctant Misunderstood Anti-Hero.
in the original canon it's certainly possible to find Light's end goal aspirational, even if the actual empathy with Light himself doesn't last very long, and part of the paradox of the manga/anime is Light being a pointedly and unmistakably Terrible Person while also being a compellling and interesting protagonist.  Even if you don't necessarily want Light to succeed, watching him operate and maneuver through various obstacles on the path to his goal is fascinating on its own terms.
Death Note 2017!Light, by contrast, is given great, excruciating measures to make him Highly Sympathetic to the audience, and indeed we are meant to interpret him specifically as a Good Kid Who Took A Wrong Turn and is now Way In Over His Head.  His mom died at the hands of Joe Chill a crook who got away with it, giving him a nice clean Batman justification, he's bullied at school, is extremely concerned with his actions being percieved as good and perhaps most crucially, tries to limit his body count outside of criminals (American!Light reacts extremely negatively to the mere IDEA of killing his dad when he calls Kira out, whereas canon!Light, while certainly not enthusiastic about the idea, was right there weighing the pros and cons, reasonably prepared to do so if he proved to be enough of a problem).
He doesn't even use the Death Note initially of his own volition; Ryuk has to be there to straight-up Devil on His Shoulder-him into it (in a hilariously over-the-top introduction, more on that later), and Misa (sorry, MIA) is constantly pushing him to go darker when his resolve wavers, and indeed seems way more into the idea of using the Death Note on a visceral level than Light is.
All of this is contrary to one of the crucial points of Death Note in its original form-- Light was a person of privilege surrounded by a loving family and with infinite potential who had absolutely no reason to have become a power-hungry arbiter of "justice" with a god complex, and yet when a bit of power happened to fall into his hands that's exactly what he became.  He didn't need a traumatic event or a bad situation to become Kira, just the possibility that he could do it and get away with it.  
But even in a Death Note adaptation where the first death we get is someone's head being cut off at the jaw with a fucking ladder, this seems like too dark a conclusion for Adam Wingard to come to, so even when his body count starts rising we get constant excuses and reminders that he's A Good Kid, Honest, He's Really Trying To Do The Right Thing He's Just Got So Many Bad Influences That Pushed Him This Way and in the face of the original work's frankness (and Wingard's talk of "adult themes") this just comes off as cloying and toothless.
Nevermind that in light (heh) of the extremely whitewashed nature of this adaptation, the almost fetishistic effort of the writing team to sanitize Troubled White Teen Boy Light Turner (Who Has His Whole Life Ahead Of Him) of as much active culpability as possible is certainly quite telling isn't it
Okay that out of the way, time for some just Random Bad Shit lol
-just so we know exactly what we're dealing with and what director Adam Wingard thinks is cool one of the very first shots of the movie is Misa (sorry, MIA) at cheerleading practice but see she's not like THOSE OTHER SHEEPLE who are all ACTUALLY PRACTICING AT CHEER PRACTICE SHE'S A COOL DISAFFECTED REBEL BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANNA PRACTICE AT CHEER PRACTICE god look at these PHONIES all having fun and laughing OUR GIRL IS SO COOL SHE'D MUCH RATHER SMOKE AND LOOK BORED WHAT A BADASS -And like later in the movie she's all to Light "I'M A CHEERLEADER nothing i ever did mattered before i met you!!" like then WHY ARE YOU A CHEERLEADER WHY WERE YOU THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?????? YOU CAN DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE MY KIDDO -So the Light/Mia relationship is kind of a mess because not only do they try and play it up as the emotional lynchpin of the narrative (no, for real) but the reversal with Mia being the one who becomes super obsessed with the Death Note (even to the point where she tries to set up Light to die so she can get it) and her being the Other Bad Influence on Light really manages to make even the original Death Note's bad track record with its women fucking shine by comparison.  If the original Light/Misa dynamic was basically a Joker/Harley setup written by someone who understood that it's an abusive relationship, new!Light/Mia is the Hot Topic Romanticized Joker/Harley but also Joker is the Real Victim here apparently -Like they literally get off to using the Death Note together and make out while scanning the internet for targets-- like there COULD absolutely be a place for there to be commentary on Bored Well-Off White Kids abusing power for the fun of it, but again there's no room for insight when there's those practical gore effects to throw around -Dear god there is not a HINT of subtlety in this fucking thing, an especially egregious stylistic choice when the manga/anime is (while ofc prone to Light's.... extreme and borderline comically evil reactions) overwhelmingly grounded with-- especially compared to many anime and manga in general-- comparatively moderate supernatural elements and touches, especially in terms of its visual detail and art direction.  Wingard's Death Note on the other hand, has thunderstorms AND flickering lights that accompany Ryuk's appearances until they... don't (ARE YOU PICKING UP THE SUBTLE FAUSTIAN ELEMENTS HERE AUDIENCE????????), a trip through a Spooky Dark Abandoned Mansion that features a close-up of a busted doll accompanied by a creepy child's laugh NO REALLY IM SERIOUS and deaths that frequently end in torrents of blood because that's what we're really here for apparently -Speaking of a lack of subtlety, while I get the logic in casting Dafoe for Ryuk he ends up being both underutilized and a sadly uninteresting choice, since the apparent direction for him to go more Norman Osbourne really takes away any degree of ambiguity Ryuk has as a patently neutral party in the whole thing (at least as far as the original goes; this really wants to set him up as a Red Herring possible antagonist in a thread that goes absolutely nowhere and ends up meaning nothing).  Like I think he could have worked if the performance was a little lower-key and he had not-terrible writing to work with, but at least someone's having fun in this mess so wth -L fans are gonna be fucking pissed off because HOLY HELL they didn't not fuck him up either -Canon L: Sherlock Holmes but with sweets instead of hard drugs and also he sits weird sometimes -Death Note 2017!L: Fucking Weirdo Asshole With Bizarre Rituals galore and also he can't sleep without Watari awkwardly singing the greatest hits of Celine Dion SHUT UP IM SERIOUS because okay -So the wierd race bullshit definitely doesn't stop at Light because the framing of L (who is played by Keith Stanfield, a black actor and OH BOY I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE IMNOTRACISTBUTS COMING IN) is pointedly, aggressively antagonistic.  Rather than giving Stanfield the collected, analytical, somewhat awkward detective characterized in the source material, Death Note 2017's L's erratic tics and behaviourisms are meant to make the audience find him uncomfortable rather than compelling in his own right, because autistic-coded super detective is such an interesting and not at all gross and played-out formation of a character.  Because again, the movie has no real interest in being suspenseful or focusing on the cat-and-mouse game, L figures out that Light is Kira with very little deduction or buildup, and indeed aside from a pointedly brief midpoint conversation and a completely stupid and pointless chase scene near the end, the two barely interact, so the whole aspect of two strong wills directly competing within inches of each other is tossed aside. -Also WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT A SCENE OF A YOUNG BLACK MAN BEING SLAMMED INTO A TABLE AND NEARLY CHOKED OUT BY A WHITE COP WITH ANGER ISSUES AND A SELF-RIGHTEOUS STREAK IN DEFENSE OF A GUILTY WHITE KID WHO ULTIMATELY GETS AWAY WITH IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TASTE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT -Speaking of poor taste we couldn't find more than one Japanese actor for a speaking role (Watari, natch, with barely a handful of lines) BUT WE CERTAINLY COULD FOR THIS SEX CLUB SCENE WITH A ROOM PACKED FULL OF DEAD JAPANESE PEOPLE IN FETISH GEAR -Ryuk himself also looks Fuckin Bad and they know it since the overwhelming majority of his shots are him BLURRED THE FUCK OUT IN MIDDLE DISTANCE OR OFF IN THE CORNER -"many people have tried to write the 4 letters in my name into the Death Note but nobody has gotten farther than 2 :)" your full name was literally in there but ok -"all the deaths have to be physically possible" Ferris Wheel magically collapses for no reason to facilitate a death -"I need L's full name to kill him, I'll just take control of Watari with the Death Note EVEN THOUGH WATARI IS A FUCKING ALIAS" and also if this was in fact his real name and L knew it WHY WOULD HE HAVE LET HIM GO AROUND WITH HIS FACE UNCOVERED LIKE????????????????????????????????? -Reveals L without ceremony during the nightclub murder investigation/pretends like there's a mystery and a reveal to be had for the audience and awkwardly attempts to re-enact bits of the original introduction to the character anyway
Ultimately there's more that I'm probably forgetting but wow Death Note 2017 is just impressively dumb.  Like, original Death Note could get pretty dumb especially in the last half, but that was more a case of working itself into a corner over time and its reach extending beyond its grasp on occasion.  This just has no aspirations to even try.
Like, shit, I honestly don't like Death Note all that much but I can at least appreciate that it has some weight to it and made an effort to build a complex character-driven narrative while proposing a thoughtful moral paradox, which is more than I can say for the 'fans' who wanted to adapt it and decided this was the best possible approach lmao
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jasonvtodd · 7 years
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comic crash course for @thomasflint & @pansexualbcky 💙 I’ve included Image, Marvel & DC comics ✌ (run, run while ya’ll still can) normal font is my thoughts on the runs and italicized fonts are official summaries  
IMAGE
lazarus (2013) i just sorta accidentally stumbled onto this series by mistake but its so worth reading. strong female character who (as you’d guess by the title) can come back from the dead and kicks goddamn ass while looking damn good
In a dystopian near-future, government is a quaint concept, resources are coveted, and possession is 100% of the law. A handful of Families rule, jealously guarding what they have and exploiting the Waste who struggle to survive in their domains. Forever Carlyle defends her family's holdings through deception and force as their protector, their Lazarus. Shot dead defending the family home, Forever's day goes downhill from there... 
east of west (2013)  (hickman idk if you’ve heard the name before but hes done a lot of marvel runs here and there) is the same deal as lazarus. i dont know many (if any) people who have read it like the above, but i think thats cause they’re aimed at more mature ‘older’ readers kinda deal. this is also a really good comic series which deals with the four horsemen of the apocalypse and this whole other storyline which is jsut pretty cool and a good ride
   This is the world. It is not the one we wanted, but it is the one we deserved. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse roam the Earth, signaling the End Times for humanity, and our best hope for life, lies in DEATH.
MARVEL
iron man, vol. 1 issue #172 (1983) am i going to start this marvel rec list off with tony stark? you’re goddamn right i am. not only that... a stony favourite of mine friend. idc what your quams. this is me. you know who i am. now, anyway, this issue... fuckfu cufkc fuCK me right up scotty. it shows you tony in the worst of his fall down into his alcoholism and steve mentions how his father was an alcoholic and tries to talk tony back to reality... you’re an intelligent man. you must know what you’re doing to yourself with every single drop of that stuff you drink. you have everything, man you have your own company, you have plenty of money, you’re an electronics genius. women find you attractive. you’re respected in the community, you have a brilliant future ahead of you (this is honestly one of my favourites i own)
hawkeye, vol. 1 (1983) this is clints first solo run, its only four issues but i highly recommend it. you get to see bobbi morse in action too which is always a Good Time
Enthralled in his relationship, Clint opens up to new girlfriend Sheila Danning about his super hero origin. The date ends abruptly when Hawkeye investigates a break-in at Cross Technologies…and the intruder’s none other than Mockingbird! Is Cross Tech involved in illegal affairs that are destroying the environment? Mockingbird seems to think so, and she'll stop at nothing to convince Hawkeye! 
iron man: iron monger (1985) He's lost his armor and his fortune, but not his nerve! Tony Stark's back on his feet after everything Obadiah Stane has thrown at him, but now the bilious billionaire is taking away Stark's friends...one of them forever! The enmity spanning more than thirty issues ends in a steel-plated slugfest from which only one can walk away! Plus: vision quests and extradimensional intrigue! Madame Masque and Thundersword! And the debut of the Scourge of the Underworld! Guest-starring the West Coast Avengers!
iron man: armor wars (1987) this is such a good old school tony run as it shows you (that everyone always seems to overlook or pretend isnt Important) tonys guilt that is constantly weighing him for so many things and his own battle with him self
Millionaire industrialist Tony Stark is an inventive genius who has dedicated all of his enormous financial and intellectual resources to a single guiding principle: the creation of technology for the betterment of humanity. Stark's greatest creation is a modern-day miracle: a suit of form-fitting, strength-enhancing, steel-mesh armor he dons to become the living symbol of his ideals, the Invincible Iron Man! But when Stark discovers that the same technology he used to create the Iron Man armor - technology so secret he didn't even dare patent it - is now in the hands of several deadly super-villains, he feels responsible for the evil they have done with the high-tech tools he unwittingly provided. In the face of objections from his government, friends, colleagues and fellow super heroes, Stark swears to use the power of Iron Man to bring the evil to an end - and to take back what's his. The Beatle, Stilt Man, the Controller, Stingray, the Mandroids, the Guardsmen and Firepower don't know it yet, but they've got a problem. The world's most powerful force for good isn't playing by the rules anymore. And he's coming for them.
the infinity gauntlet (2000) soon as avengers infinity wars got announced and thanos started popping up with his gauntlet and infinity stones... i looked this up and was curious. annd wowow what a ride ok thanos is fucking ruthless and this shows it. thing i love about comics is when everyone dies in one whole page... u dont even rlly mind cause u know they’ll be fine somehow lololol #me when reading this (was it still stressful how it all went down? yes) 
For the dark Titan, Thanos, the Infinity Gauntlet was the Holy Grail, the ultimate prize to be coveted above all else. Now, on the edge of Armageddon and led by the mysterious Adam Warlock, Earth's super heroes join in a desperate attempt to thwart this nihilistic god's insane plunge into galactic self-destruction.
captain america, vol. 1 issue #401 (1992) clint ‘im an adult’ barton jumps on mopey steves bed and tony walks into a bar despite just overcoming his recent rehab from alcohol just to speak to steve and tells him in this crazy business we’re in, there’s no one I’d miss more than you. And I… well… you’re an inspiration to me, Steve is my goal to make you ship stony (and all its canon ass shit in its beauty)?? you’re goddamn right 
Clint Barton nags Cap into going out to a bar where Steve confesses he has given up on having a normal life to concentrate in his hero activities. Tony Stark arrives unexpectedly and he and Steve hash out their differences going back to the Armor Wars and make up.
tales of suspense, vol. 2 (1992) is possibly hard to find (but i’d be more then willing to buy for presents for the Feels) but ohmYGODDDDDDDD steve talking about tony in his suit and tony talking about steves clear, azure eyes like ok yeah... thats not gay... at all....... stony isnt canon pshaw...  Tony Stark and his armor. His wonderful metal suit. The end result of all the technology he’s mastered in his hands the ultimate weapon for good. A good that I can never hope to equal. ... psha...w???   Captain America. Steve. I look at your handsome face… into your clear, azure eyes.. and, as ever, I feel the same guilty envy.
captain america: operation rebirth what a good. you get badass sharon carter action, a solid good classic red skull as steves nemesis, and just overall a good captain america read. probably one of my favourite cap trades i have
He was the greatest hero that ever lived. But now the legacy of Steve Rogers had come to an end - the serum that coursed through Captain America's veins killed him. Now, 47 years later, Captain America is brought back to lif e to do battle with evil. 
deadpool, vol. 1 (1997) i have the omnibus and so have only read the first 33 issues plus some specials.... but... lOOK listen... l i s t en ... this is what made me fall in love with wade wilson ok and the reaosn why i enjoyed the deadpool (2016) film so much. because they included so much material from this run in it so well i want to goddamn cry about it (i sometimes do) let me also say though as you can guess... it is wade wilson so suffice to say lolol you gotta be in the mood for it but i highly recommend it
iron man, vol. 3 (1998) first comics i ever read so they hold a special place in my heart. you also get rumiko fujikawa, whom, is probably the only best canon relationship you see tony in in all of 616 to this day. forever salty and bitter over the fact that she just got forgotten about over time. like wades run above, ive only read the first 30 issues of this too so i cant speak of the rest of the run (which i will finish someday i swear it) but was a real good introduction to iron man comics in general and just a good time with cameos from nat (black widow) early on and other known characters pop in and out. shows tonys friendship with carol danvers which!! is!! so!! important!!! and never gets spoken about either after this run much to my knowledge which im always salty over because they both help each other through alcoholism and their struggles. and they both pick each other up when the other has fallen back down to the bottle or is on the brink of doing so.
   It's a new beginning for Iron Man as Kurt Busiek and Sean Chen reinvent the Armored Avenger! Tony Stark is back, with a new company, Stark Solutions...but the Mandarin plans to destroy Tony's dreams before they take shape! And if that's not enough, Iron Man must face Firebrand, Whiplash, MODOK, Controller, Fin Fang Foom, Count Nefaria, the Exemplars, Ultimo and the all-new War Machine - while romancing the beautiful Rumiko Fujikawa and protecting his secret identity! 
black widow, vol. 1 (1999) nats first solo run, only 3 issues and highly recommended
    Natasha Romanov has always led an exciting life - first as a Cold War-era Soviet spy, followed by her defection to the West. She has earned a reputation through the years as a consummate professional, coldly efficient and as deadly as her namesake. Now, her time as Black Widow may be at an end. Yelena Belova, the new Black Widow, seeks to claim the mantle she feels was stolen from her Motherland. Trained in the arts of espionage and combat, and anxious to prove herself and eliminate her counterpart, Belova will stop at nothing to achieve her goal. 
avengers: red zone (2003) steve and tony are stupid and literally give up oxygen for one another to live. self sacrificing jackasses. tony doesnt even hesitate ok i hate him so much (really cool storyline though)
When the Red Skull infiltrates the United States government, he authorizes a biological weapon to be released from the peaks of Mount Rushmore, and it is up the Avengers to contain it! Under the direction of creators Geoff Johns and Olivier Coipel, the Avengers face a threat unlike any they've ever faced - then they take on the Red Skull himself!
secret war (2004) Starring Wolverine, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Captain America, Black Widow, Luke Cage and more! Brian Michael Bendis, the most popular and acclaimed writer in comics, reveals the darkest chapter in Marvel Universe history! When Nick Fury discovers a disturbing connection between many of Marvel's deadliest villains, he assembles a ragtag team of the MU's most misunderstood heroes for a secret mission to do what the U.S. government could never allow - eventually leading to a super-powered blowout between a who's who of NYC heroes and mutants!
cable and deadpool (2004) i think this was my first introduction to wade (either this or his first vol.) and how gay him and nathan summers are like wowow what a duo ok. shipping aside these guys have such hilarious, great dynamics together throughout the whole series and im forever salty we didnt get more of them (50 issues wasnt enough ok)
Wade Wilson is Deadpool, the mentally disturbed merc with a mouth and a healing factor that just won't quit! Nathan Summers is Cable, the messianic mutant from the future who plans to save us all - whether we want him to or not! And now, this disparate duo has just become Marvel's oddest couple - because they're stuck with one another! Can two grown men armed to the teeth with high-rech weaponry coexist without driving each other crazy?! It's action, adventure, time travel, dimension-hopping, black humor, black-ops, Bea Arthur, chimichangas - yes, that whole thing started here - and lots of gunfire as two of Marvel's fan-favorite antiheroes take on each other and everyone else!
new avengers, vol. 1 (2005) steve and tony co-parent a new team after all the core ‘original’ members of the team parted ways after clints ‘death’ quality stony aside, this run (for the first 20 issues before civil war happened) was such a fun ride and introduced me to a lot of other characters i hadnt read much of before and is probably one of my favourite marvel runs
In the aftermath of Avengers Disassembled come the New Avengers With the Avengers disbanded following an attack by one of the team's oldest members, a shadowy villain has taken advantage of their absence to initiate his ominous plans. Employing Electro to disrupt the electrical systems of the maximum-security prison known as the Raft, hundreds of super-powered villains are freed to wreak havoc on New York. Without the Avengers to answer the call, a group of heroes must form a makeshift alliance to subdue the rampaging villains and save the city. In the heat of battle, this new team fills the void left by the Avengers' demise - the New Avengers. After shocking the Marvel fans with the series-shattering "Avengers Disassembled" storyline, writer Brian Michael Bendis and artist David Finch begin an all-new chapter in Marvel Comics history with New Avengers. Featuring a cast of fan-favorite characters including Wolverine, Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man and Spider-Woman teamed with the hard-edged heroes Luke Cage and the Sentry, New Avengers presents a 21st-century revitalization of the classic Avengers concept. Plus: The mystery of the Sentry revealed. The Avengers try to help the most powerful super hero in the world figure out who he is and where he came from. But will this knowledge destroy the man they're trying to help?
CIVIL WAR TIE INS ok so it goes without saying if you get into marvel comics, civil war is an event that i think you should read just so you have as its one of the biggest and well known events it’s had. the aftermath of it affects 616 massively and its better if you know the gist of what happened. it has 7 core issues which you can read here. i’m just not putting it on my rec list as a rec per say as i am not a fan of how it was written and find it extremely problematic, and ooc for both steve and tony with many of what they say/do. in saying all that i am a fan of some of the tie ins it had (there’s like 500 million different civil war tie ins m8 its a mess, don’t even try to read them all. i just went for my favourite characters and was happy to find they were handled really well)
iron man/captain america: casualties of war (2007) a whole issue recapping steve and tonys greatest hits in 616 (when people try to tell me that stony isnt canon i get so goddamn amused because this is the one of many comics i could pull out and school ya’ll with) 
In the midst of Civil War, Captain America and Iron Man meet secretly, one last time, to see if there's any hope of working things out before further tragedy occurs. Don't miss this oversized special that reveals how these two men, once the closest of friends and staunchest of allies, could end up leading opposing armies in the conflict tearing apart the Marvel Universe!
winter soldier: winter kills (2007) remember that time mcu decided to bring in bucky into civil war when he didnt even make an appearance GOOD times buck stops by the city during civil war and stays on the outskirts and decides to school the young avengers on How Shit Gets Done (this issue is one of my favourites bucky wise)
In the midst of the harsh division of the Civil War, James Buchanan Barnes, Captain America's one-time partner Bucky, faces his first Christmas of the 21st century. And faces the truth of the terrible things he was forced to do as the Winter Soldier. And with Cap caught in a conflict he can neither take a side of - or understand - what moves can he make to try to redeem himself? And what do Hydra have planned for New York this Christmas? Featuring guest appearances by the Young Avengers and some of the original Invaders, this Special issue is an action-packed character study that defines the Winter Soldier's future place in the Marvel Universe.
civil war: front line, issue #11 (2007) steve and tony both get interviewed after steves ‘loss’ 
The final issue is here! Follow Ben Urich and Sally Floyd on the quest for the truth about Civil War! Discover the dark legacy of Robbie Baldwin, formerly known as Speedball, now called Penance!
civil war: iron man (2007)  Two tales of suspense ripped from the pages of Civil War Captain America has fallen into a clash with his government and his friends, and the people close to him are paying the price. The life of Cap's girlfriend, Agent 13, is torn apart as her superiors use her divided loyalties against her. Elsewhere, a new villain emerges; the Red Skull begins to make himself known; and the Winter Soldier again comes face-to-face with Cap. Meanwhile, get inside the mind of of Tony Stark, and learn why he feels superhuman registration is necessary - and why he's taken it upon himself to lead the charge for its implementation Big changes are in store for Iron Man in the post-Civil War landscape, and the build-up begins here.
civil war: spider-man (2007) Life couldn't be more complicated - or more dangerous - for Peter Parker. After rushing to the aftermath of the Stamford Massacre to offer aid to its victims, Peter travels with Tony Stark to Washington, D.C., and the White House - where the enactment of the Super Hero Registration Act appears imminent. As the Marvel Universe braces for the implications of legislation that will forever change the societal status of super heroes, Peter is forced to make an important personal decision - maybe the most important decision of his life. As Civil War tears apart the super hero community, will Spidey stay true to that decision?
captain america, vol. 5 issue #25 (2007) steves ‘death’
civil war: the confession (2007) dont fucking do this to yourself. if you’ve read the song of achilles...  think of this as a single issue comic form of tsoa (i dont want to talk about it ok not ever)
fallen son: the death of captain america (2007) these comics were done so incredibly well. each issue deals with one of the five stages of death and shows you how affected and how shaken every member of the superhero and otherwise was by steves death. peter parkers deals with depression and the black suit comes out and i fucking want to puke just thinking about it. tony ‘ive grown up in the spotlight and known how to play audiences and fake it and show im Fine’ stark cant even speak on the podium and has to step away and is shaking and im emo go away
Can the world accept the death of a true hero? In the wake of a tragedy, we visit the top heroes of the Marvel Universe. How do people with amazing powers face a force that no one can fight? Is more violence coming? Featuring Wolverine, the Mighty Avengers, the New Avengers, Spider-Man and Iron Man!
MARVEL - CONTINUED
captain america, vol. 5 issues #26-50 (2007) after steves death... there is no longer a captain america. that is, until... james buchanan barnes decides to pick up the mantle (after much coaxing and support from tony, sam, nat and sharon) and continue steves legacy.... though... he does things a little different. he uses guns and the villians literally shit themselves its fucking hilarious. crossbones i think at one point straight up just yells at him saying CAPTAIN AMERICA DOESNT USE GUNS! ‘this captain america does’ my hero uwu i love this run for a lot of reasons... it was the first time i got to see buckynat and learn their origins from the red room, you get to see their dynamics in current day and how well they still work together, tony and bucky have very good scenes together and you get to see a letter steve left tony asking him to look after bucky (fuck dont talk to me about how steve... despite everything that they were going through during civil war... steve still entrusted tony with the one thing that means everything to him since he first became captain america... his friend, his once sidekick, his bucky) to save bucky from himself and dont come near me ok. you also get bucky and sam wilson working together which 😂😂😂 good fcking lord ok look at this Quality Content the only compliant i have about these issues is the treatment of sharon carter with what they ended up doing to her yikes
In the aftermath of the fabled hero's assassination, Agent 13, Bucky Barnes, the Falcon, Black Widow, and Iron Man come together again in a desperate attempt to keep his dream alive. But the collapse of Steve Rogers' dream was merely the first step in the wicked machinations of the Red Skull, who is determined to see the death of America follow soon after the death of the Captain. As the Skull's master plan kicks into motion, and chaos begins to take hold of the United States, only one man stands in its way - but is he up to the task? Freed from the psychosis that transformed him into the relentless mercenary known as the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes is called on to live up to the dream in ways he never imagined. Eisner Award-winning writer Ed Brubaker refuses to let up on the action, suspense, and human drama in a tale that ties together all eras of the star-spangled warrior's history. {sidenote: if you’re a bucky fan and want to know more backstory with him in 616, check out the winter soldier arc which is the first 14 issues in this same run}
young avengers, vol. 1 (2005) this first vol. is heavily underrated and doesnt get spoken about as much as its following vol. you have lgbt rep with billy & teddy who are just the purest most sweetest beans and you get kate bishop before you meet her in fractions hawkeye and shes just Wonderful
When the original Avengers disband, a team of teenage heroes comes together to fill the gap. Their first order of business: surviving the wrath of Kang the Conqueror and weathering the disapproval of the adult Avengers Next, the newly formed Young Avengers take on super-powered sadist Mister Hyde, the extraterrestrial Super-Skrull and a full-scale alien invasion, juggling their parents and their private lives at the same time.
alias (2006) Meet Jessica Jones, a former costumed super hero who, in fact, stunk at it. With powers unremarkable in comparison to the great icons of Marvel, Jessica never found her niche. But once she hung up her cape, she was surprised at how quickly she fell out of the spandex loop. Sure, she may hang out with some of the Avengers socially, but she`s not welcome in Avengers Mansion. And she feels the rejection. She`s self-destructive, drinks too much, and has a huge inferiority complex. And did we mention that she's now a Private Investigator who specializes in cases of the super human variety? So if you're thirsty for the film noir feel and complex characterization, grab a stool at the bar!
mythos: captain america (2008)  He may be dead, but now you can find out how the man became the legend! Mythos revisits Steve Rogers’ transformation from a weakling with a heart of steel to the Sentinel of Liberty! From the mind of Paul Jenkins’ and the stunning art of Paolo Rivera comes the origin of CAPTAIN AMERICA!
invincible iron man (2008) remember that time tony stark wiped out his goddamn BRAIN to protect the identities of every last superhero he knew? remember when we got pepper as rescue being fucking badass and gorgeous in her own suit? 
Looking for some old school Iron Man super-heroics? Want to see Shellhead let loose with his repulsors? Filled with page-to-page action, this book shows the Armored Avenger doing what he does best: fighting big name villains armed to the teeth with deadly technology in between jet-setting around the world as billionaire playboy Tony Stark. 
secret invasion (2008) like civil war, i think this is another marvel event that deserves to be read and should be read if you’d like to understand certain things that follow it in the 616 universe. as well as i did quite enjoy this storyline {sidenote: read secret invasion: the infiltration beforehand if you plan to read this}
spider-woman (2009) jessica drews first solo run. you find out her origins and the art is absolutely stunning. definatly worth checking out.
The team of Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev return to a Marvel comic for the first time since their Eisner award-winning run on Daredevil. Ripped from the pages of Secret Invasion and New Avengers, this explosive chapter follows the new adventures of Jessica Drew, aka: Spider-Woman, as she rediscovers her life in a world she did not make.   
young allies comics 70th anniversary special (2009)  a really cool buck comic flashing back to his day as bucky and flash-forwarding too bucky!cap
Before they were Invaders, Bucky Barnes and Toro the Flaming Kid joined forces with four teen-age friends to battle the Third Reich as the Young Allies! Their fictionalized adventures thrilled readers on the Home Front throughout World War II, but their real story has never been told -- until now! Discover the truth behind comics' original kid gang! Action! Intrigue! Adventure!
deadpool: suicide kings (2009) Deadpool's latest job has gotten him into a world of trouble. Everyone wants a piece of him - and for a crime he didn't commit That's right: Someone's framed Deadpool, and it just might be the same guy who hired him in the first place, a guy who just might be using the mouthy merc as a wild card in a twisted wager. If Wade's going to clear his name and serve up some revenge, he's first got to avoid getting captured - or killed - by some of the Marvel Universe's heaviest hitters: Daredevil, the Punisher, and Spider-Man. Plus, see what happens when Deadpool goes behind the scenes of "Pain Factor" - the reality TV game show so controversial, it's been banned around the world.
deadpool: merc with a mouth (2009) It's the Merc with two mouths! Deadpool travels to the Savage Land to retrieve what might be the deadliest bioweapon the universe has ever seen. What is this deadly object? Well, Deadpool's employer is being a little vague about that. Let's just say when the secret is finally revealed, it's enough to throw even the Merc with two Mouths for a loop.
iron man noir (2010) Marvel's Noir line ranks among the most intriguing of the alternate-universe superhero reimaginings. Through the lens of Depression-era New York, the likes of Spider-Man, Luke Cage, and Wolverine have a harsher, tougher light cast on their essential characters. Snyder (American Vampire) rips a page from Indiana Jones' notebook and turns Tony Stark into a hard-charging adventurer who must come to terms with a troubled psyche as he races the Nazis for possession of an ancient "metal of the gods." From exploring the deep sea to invading military strongholds, Garcia delivers gritty action to match the drama and darker hues to capture the tone. With appearances by the Noir versions of other Marvel regulars (Sub-Mariner Noir, for instance), this is a fine treat for fans, and although newcomers will enjoy it, too, they should be warned that this isn't Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man. The one major drawback, as with so many mainstream collections lately, is its brevity, at only four collected issues.
avengers prime (2010) the first time steve and tony properly talk to each other since the events of civil war. basically a brotrip to asgard and shenanigans with naked horseback riding ensues. this is such a fun 5 issue ride 20/10 to recommend one of my favourites
They were friends, brothers and teammates through all of Marvel's greatest adventures, but recent events turned them into the bitterest of enemies. In the wake of the Siege of Asgard Thor, Iron Man and Steve Rogers are brought together on the same side once more, but these great heroes can't truly trust each other yet. They better start soon because something only the Big Three can handle is tearing their world apart. This all-new, grand and dangerous adventure will catapult our heroes into the explosive Heroic Age and will unite comics legend Alan Davis with Avengers scribe Brian Bendis for the very first time.   
black widow: the name of the rose (2010) some cute buckynat stuff plus overall just a good natasha story
Natasha Romanoff is not a super hero. And yet as the Black Widow, she manages to hold her own against a world of incredibly powerful enemies and allies. But now someone has tried to kill Natasha and almost succeeded. Now she sets out to find her attacker with no suspects and no leads. Who could be deadly enough to get the drop on Natasha? 
winter soldier (2012) bucks first solo run by brubaker which is highly entertaining with nat along for the ride. when winter soldier (2014) got announced i ran around looking for every comic with buck in it i could get my hands on and this run was such a ride to get an introduction to him in 616 for the first time. we just ignore the shitty writing choices made at the end re: buckynat yes sir we do
He's been Bucky and Captain America - now, James Barnes returns to the role of the Winter Soldier! They're the super-spies of the Marvel Universe - and when ex-Russian sleeper agents awaken, Bucky and the Black Widow must go on the hunt for men trained by the Winter Soldier himself. But when the trail leads to Latveria, Bucky comes face-to-face with Dr. Doom! Can Bucky and the Widow prevent war with Latveria? Can Bucky stop the sleepers he himself trained? 
hawkeye, vol. 4 (2012) for people who don’t even read comics... to try and get them into comics? i hand them this. this run is hands down probably one of the best things marvel has ever produced and is the Clint Barton we deserve. just give me a neftlix hawkeye series based on this and i can die happy. the writing is fanfuckingtastic and the art is very well done too. we get kate bishop fighting alongside clint and you get lucky aka pizza dog (for who has a whole issue of a Day in the life of, its fab) you get being reminded that as much as 616 likes to forget about it... clint barton is canonically deaf and does in fact know sign language and just... just read this. if you only read one thing off this entire list? make it this
The second Hawkeye ongoing series by Matt Fraction and David Aja, the creative team behind Immortal Iron Fist. The legendary superhero during his time when he is NOT being an Avenger. Clint Barton becomes a landlord and a pet owner, but in the process makes some deadly enemies. Plus, can he balance a relationship and a friendship with a certain red-headed Russian spy, ex-wife, and flirtatiousfemme fatale? The series had one Hawkeye Annual. This series lasted 22 issues, after which it was continued into All-New Hawkeye with a new team. 
captain marvel, vol. 7 (2012) carols first solo run as captain marvel :) The "Mightiest" of Earth's Mightiest Heroes is back! Ace pilot. Legendary Avenger. One hundred percent pure bad-@$$. Carol Danvers has a new name, a new mission - and all the power she needs to make her own life a living hell. As the new Captain Marvel, Carol is forging from a challenge from her past! It's a firefight in the sky as the Banshee Squadron debut - but who are the Prowlers, and where has Carol seen them before? And how does secret NASA training program Mercury 13 fit in? Witness Captain Marvel in blazing battlefield action that just may change the course of history! Avengers Time Travel Protocols: engage! 
a babies vs. x-babies (2012) bucky bear. need i say more?  It's coming--and it's bringing babies with it! Who will live? Who will die? Who will get diaper rash? Find out as the X-Babies face the A-Babies in the tie-in to end all tie-ins!
black widow (2014) gorgeous art by noto (iconic) + fantastic writing  You've seen Black Widow as an Avenger and even an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. But on her own time she searches for atonement for her past as a KGB assassin - in ways of which those teams just wouldn't approve. The Black Widow goes undercover in Russia, but from its cold streets, the Hand of God reaches out to crush her...and it is as merciless as its name implies. Outmatched by the brute force of a powerful new villain, Natasha faces her deadliest test, and discovers a deadly plot unfolding that spans the entire globe.
hawkeye vs. deadpool (2014) wade teams up with clint (team up is a strong word... more like wade keeps harassing clint till he caves and helps) and its highly entertaining 
Once upon a time, champions emerged to fight the evil plaguing humanity. They fought for all that was good in the world. They were kind, generous and self-sacrificing. They were heroes. These are not those heroes. Meet Hawkeye: ladies man ("ladies man" because the ladies love to hate this man), mighty marksman and, most importantly, Avenger. He's the only guy on the team without any powers, though. Then there's Deadpool (Mr. Deadpool to you), the regeneratin' degenerate. You can shoot him, stab him, and punch him right in his face, but nothing can keep the Merc with a Mouth down. What do they have in common? Halloween in Brooklyn, and a S.H.I.E.L.D. espionage mystery that has both heroes racing the clock! But will Deadpool and Hawkeye kill each other before they figure it out?
captain marvel, vol. 8 (2014) Hero! Pilot! Avenger! Captain Marvel, Earth's Mightiest Hero with an attitude to match, is back and launching headfirst into an all-new ongoing adventure! As Captain Marvel, a.k.a. Carol Danvers, comes to a crossroads with a new life and new romance, she makes a dramatic decision that will alter the course of her life - and the entire Marvel Universe - in the months to come. But as Carol takes on a mission to return an alien girl to her homeworld, she lands in the middle of an uprising against the Galactic Alliance! Investigating the forced resettlement of Rocket Girl's people, Carol discovers that she has a history with the man behind the plot. But when the bad guy tries to blackmail Carol and turn the Avengers against her, it's payback time! Guest-starring the Guardians of the Galaxy!
silk, vol. 1 (2015) Cindy Moon exploded out of her bunker and into the Marvel Universe when we first learned that she had been bitten by the same radioactive spider from the first arc of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. She then went on to save Peter Parker's life (more than once!) and traverse the Spider-Verse alongside Spider-Woman. Now, as SILK, Cindy is on her own in New York City, searching for her past, defining her own future, and webbing up wrong-doers along the way! Robbie Thompson (writer from TV's SUPERNATURAL) fills this new story with his unique blend of antics and feels. Featuring interiors by future superstar Stacey Lee. 
I’ve been behind in 616 for a few years now, so there’s probably a lot of good runs i’ve left out... but these are just all ones that i’ve personally read and have enjoyed os hopefully there’s a few in here that catch your interest and you also enjoy (616 is currently a mess though with the hydracap fiasco and tonys in a godddamn coma, rhodeys dead and im still salty about everything so dont go there with me #intro post to being a comics fan) also i highly recommend checking out marvel masterworks trades as they’re great to own and such a blast back to the past
DC
batman: year one (1987) A young Bruce Wayne has spent his adolescence and early adulthood, traveling the world so he could hone his body and mind into the perfect fighting and investigative machine. But now as he returns to Gotham City, he must find a way to focus his passion and bring justice to his city. Retracing Batman's first attempts to fight injustice as a costumed vigilante, we watch as he chooses a guise of a giant bat, creates an early bond with a young Lieutenant James Gordon, inadvertently plays a role in the birth of Catwoman, and helps to bring down a corrupt political system that infests Gotham.
batman: a death in the family (1988) fuck dont do this to yourself man. this is the storyline that brutally killed off jason todd in ‘88 because there weren’t enough votes to save him (i will hunt them all down one day i swear on jays name) as painful as it is, i think its worth checking out as you get an insight into jason as a robin and how his death came to be (cry he was too trusting and cared too much and his mother didnt deserve him)
Batman readers were allowed to vote on the outcome of the story and they decided that Robin should die! As the second person to assume the role of Batman's sidekick, Jason Todd had a completely different personality than the original Robin. Rash and prone to ignore Batman's instructions, Jason was always quick to act without regard to consequences. In this fatal instance, Robin ignores his mentor's warnings when he attempts to take on the Joker by himself and pays the ultimate price. Driven by anger with Superman by his side, Batman seeks his vengeance as he looks to end the Joker's threat forever.
batman: knightfall, vol. 1 (1993)  Villainous Bane breaks the Bat. He releases the inmates of Arkham Asylum to create chaos. Batman must push himself to physical and mental limits and capture Joker, Poison Ivy, Riddler, Killer Croc and more. But is Bruce Wayne still beneath the mask? Original Part One: Broken Bat + Two: Who Rules the Night.
nightwing, vol. 1 (1995)  Dick briefly considers retiring from being Nightwing forever before family papers uncovered by Alfred reveal a possible link between the murder of the Flying Graysons and the Crown Prince of Kravia.
nightwing, vol. 2 (1996) The solo book sees the former Robin trying to be his own man, but often leads him back to his roots with Batman. Having left Bludhaven, Nightwing is now re-inventing himself and rediscovering his passion for crimefighting.
nightwing: alfred’s return (1995) After leaving Gotham City at the end of "KnightsQuest," Alfred travels to London. But when a young man who may be his son comes under fire, Alfred calls on Nightwing to mount a rescue mission.
batman: the long halloween (1996) this was such a cool, dark story and was a major influence in nolans film regarding the friendship between dent, jim gordon and bruce as batman. 
Taking place during Batman's early days of crime fighting, this new edition of the classic mystery tells the story of a mysterious killer who murders his prey only on holidays. Working with District Attorney Harvey Dent and Lieutenant James Gordon, Batman races against the calendar as he tries to discover who Holiday is before he claims his next victim each month. A mystery that has the reader continually guessing the identity of the killer, this story also ties into the events that transform Harvey Dent into Batman's deadly enemy, Two-Face.
batman: dark victory (1999) The sequel to the critically acclaimed BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN, DARK VICTORY continues the story of an early time in Batman's life when James Gordon, Harvey Dent, and the vigilante himself were all just beginning their roles as Gotham's protectors.Once a town controlled by organized crime, Gotham City suddenly finds itself being run by lawless freaks, such as Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, and the Joker. Witnessing his city's dark evolution, the Dark Knight completes his transformation into the city's greatest defender. He faces multiple threats, including the apparent return of a serial killer called Holiday. Batman's previous investigation of Holiday's killings revealed that more than one person was responsible for the murders. So the question remains: who is committing Holiday's crimes this time? And how many will die before Batman learns the truth?
robin: year one (2000) Already entrenched in the Batcave and his official training complete, young Dick Grayson has a world of experience to gain, and a ton of new enemies to make, beginning with the truly insane Mad Hatter! Ultimately, over the course of YEAR ONE, Robin crosses paths with many crazed villains in Batman's Rogues Gallery and makes a new deadly enemy for himself, one whose impact will be felt in the present-day pages of NIGHTWING! ROBIN: YEAR ONE explores many facets of Dick's early days as Robin, including his struggle to live a "normal" childhood while continuing to serve not only as the Boy Wonder, but also as the ward of one of the world's most visible, richest and eligible businessmen, Bruce Wayne. Not unlike BATMAN: YEAR ONE, which became an enduring classic because of its account of a hero in the making, ROBIN: YEAR ONE will reveal how Dick became the hero he is today.
harley quinn, vol. 1 (2000) remember that time i was reading a harley quinn comic and dick grayson stopped by and i fell in love and got more into dc and batfam? GOOD TIMES uwu ah, memories. harley has pet hyenes need you know more? 
HARLEY QUINN is not the story of an honorable woman and her quest for justice. Instead, it’s a love story gone horribly, horribly, horribly wrong, especially in the first extra-length issue, as the Joker's girlfriend must do without Mister J's "calming" influence. And considering just how many sandwiches short of a picnic Harley is, you know this book's going to be wild! Harley is driven to astounding lengths to free her loony lover. And that's just in the first seven pages. What follows is too strange for words, though it does involve one itsy-bitsy cameo by Batman. Just one! Once you see life through the eyes of Harley Quinn, you'll find she makes a lot more sense. Would you believe a little more sense? {sidenote: remember when batman animated writers originally only created harley quinn as a character for the joker to beat on and treat like shit? but then dc fixed themselves by making her more then that and developing her properly and fleshing her out in her on solo fun? good times yes}
batman: gotham knights, issue #17 (2001) bruce officially adopts dick  "Matatoa" part 2! Batman battles for his life with the eternal shaman whose destiny includes killing the Dark Knight and taking on his nocturnal crime-fighting duties! It would secure Batman a safe, crime-free Gotham City for all eternity--but at what cost does it all truly come?
batman: hush (2002)  BATMAN: HUSH is a thrilling mystery of action, intrigue, and deception penned by Jeph Loeb (BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN) and illustrated by comics superstar Jim Lee (ALL STAR BATMAN & ROBIN, THE BOY WONDER) in which Batman sets out to discover the identity of a mysterious mastermind using the Joker, Riddler, Ra's al Ghul and the Dark Knight's other enemies - and allies - as pawns in a plan to wreak havoc.
green lantern, vol. 4 (2005) that time i read all 67 issues of gl within a few days because i fell hard for the short tempered piece of shit hal jordan
Hal Jordan has returned to the role of Green Lantern and taken up residence in rebuilt Coast City. This series examines Hal's re-acclimation to normal living as he attempts to protect the world from danger and enjoy being human once again.
batman r.i.p. (2008) Tying into his other blockbuster stories of 2008 Final Crisis and Batman: The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul, the legendary Grant Morrison confronts readers with the unthinkable...the death of The Dark Knight. The troubled life of Bruce Wayne seems to spin out of control when his relationship with the mysterious Jezebel Jet deepens. Soon Bruce Wayne drops out completely, having seemingly become the victim of mental illness and abandoning his Batman identity for a life on the streets of Gotham City. Capitalizing on the fall of their greatest foe, the Club of Villains begin a crime spree through the streets of Gotham that threatens to bring the city to its knees.
batman and robin (2009) we were the best, richard’’ RIP me. after bruces ‘death’, following the events of battle for the cowl (if you’re a jason todd fan for the love of god pretend its a different jason). dick reluctantly picks up the batman mantle... which also means he picks up batbrat damian wayne alongside him as the latest robin. this run is hands down one of my favourite dc runs and i highly recommend it for various reasons (once again though, jasons written terribly and i hate how dc continuously puts my beautiful boy through so much shit even after they goddamn beat him to death with a crowbar they still manage to treat him more poorly)
The new Dynamic Duo hit the streets with a bang in their new flying Batmobile as they face off against an assemblage of villains called the Circus of Strange. They also tackle their first mission investigating a child who's been abducted by the mysterious Domino Killer. But will everything go smoothly? And who exactly are the new Batman and Robin? The newest era of The Dark Knight begins here!
red robin (2009) these are probably my pride and joy of trades that i own (along with all my old school nightwing trades) and took me forever to get, but so worth the running around. tim drakes first (and so far only run you facists dc) solo series 
Following the aftermath of BATTLE FOR THE COWL, a new Batman watches over Gotham City. But not everyone is ready to give up on the old one. Someone believes that Bruce Wayne may still be alive...and that someone is Red Robin. But who is wearing the Red Robin costume, and why is he traveling the globe looking for a dead man? Whoever he is, he's not alone in his search and has been targeted by the League of Assassins. What does Ra's al Ghul want with Red Robin? Why are members of the League of Assassins being targeted for death? And what happened to the life Red Robin left behind?
gotham city sirens (2009) such an underrated run and such a good 
This all-new series features the bad girls of Gotham City! Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are tired of playing by other people's rules regardless of which side of the law they're on. These tough ladies have a new agenda that's all their own, and they'll use any means necessary to pursue it. But can they get along and work as a team? And who will get hurt along the way? DETECTIVE COMICS and STREETS OF GOTHAM writer Paul Dini kicks off this brand-new ongoing series with amazing artwork by Guillem March
batman: under the red hood (2011) jason todd jason todd jason todd one of the few good (any) jason todd based story-lines that treat him well and give you a solid read story wise (i also highly recommend checking out the 2010 film, jensen ackles voices jay and does an amazing job) 
Batman is confronted with a hidden face from the past — it’s the return of the vigilante Red Hood who appears to be Batman’s one-time partner Jason Todd, the same Jason Todd that died many years ago. But the Red Hood’s violent ways pit him against the Dark Knight in his hunt for the very person responsible for his death: The Joker.
red hood: lost days (2010) ignore what they did to him with talia it was hella yikes i pretend it doesnt exist cause its goddamn gross and not at all ok otherwise highly recommend if you want more quality jason todd
After his death at the hands of The Joker, Jason Todd was resurrected by Batman’s foe Ra’s al Ghul as a weapon against The Dark Knight. Now, learn what secret events led Jason on his eventual path of death and destruction as he tours the DC Universe learning dangerous skills in an effort to find his way in a world that left him behind. 
batwoman: elegy A new era begins as Batwoman is unleashed on Gotham City! Marked by the blood-red bat emblem, Kate Kane is a soldier fighting her own private war - one that began years ago and haunts her every waking moment. In this first tale, Batwoman battles a madwoman known only as Alice, inspired by Alice in Wonderland, who sees her life as a fairy tale and everyone around her as expendable extras! Batwoman must stop Alice from unleashing a toxic death cloud over all of Gotham City -- but Alice has more up her sleeve than just poison, and Batwoman's life will never ever be the same again. Also, witness the origin of Batwoman in the shocking and tragic story "Go," in which young Kate Kane and her family are kidnapped by terrorists, and Kate's life - and the lives of her family - will never be the same! (did i mostly put this here so hira doesnt kick my ass? yes. is it also worth checking out though? also yes)
blackest night (2009) i reread this again after i binged some green lantern and lololol it made x100 more sense. however, its not required, and is a pretty cool story even if you aren’t familiar with how gl verse works. 
Throughout the decades, death has plagued the DC Universe and taken the lives of heroes and villains alike. But to what end? As the War between the different colored Lantern Corps rages on, the prophecy of the Blackest Night descends and it's up to Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps to lead DC's greatest champions in a battle to save the Universe from an army of undead Black Lanterns made up of fallen Green Lanterns and DC's deceased heroes and villains.  also the batman tie ins were great too
batman: the black mirror (2011) one of my favourite dick!batman stories as its also incredibly dark and gritty
In "The Black Mirror," a series of brutal murders pushes Batman's detective skills to the limit and forces him to confront one of Gotham City's oldest evils. Helpless and trapped in the deadly Mirror House, Batman must fight for his life against one of Gotham City's oldest and most powerful evils! Then, in a second story called "Hungry City," the corpse of a killer whale shows up on the floor of one of Gotham City's foremost banks. The event begins a strange and deadly mystery that will bring Batman face-to-face with the new, terrifying faces of organized crime in Gotham.
batman: gates of gotham (2011) more quality dick!batman plus quality batfam and a classic original enthralling story
When a mystery as old as Gotham City itself surfaces, Batman assembles a team of his greatest detectives – including Red Robin, Owlman, I-Ching and others – to investigate this startling new enigma. As clues are discovered and the mystery deepens, Batman’s team soon finds itself on a journey that explores different eras in Gotham’s history and touches upon notable Gotham families including the Waynes, Kanes, and Elliotts.
batman, vol. 2 (2011) this was part of dcs new52 relaunch & my intro to dc and batman. the court of owls was an amazing story-line and executed so well as problematic as a lot of runs in new52 were and things in this run too, overall i recommend it for anyone wanting to get to know bruce and the batfam better
After a series of brutal murders rocks Gotham City, Batman begins to realize that perhaps these crimes go far deeper than appearances suggest. As the Caped Crusader begins to unravel this deadly mystery, he discovers a conspiracy going back to his youth and beyond to the origins of the city he's sworn to protect. Could the Court of Owls, once thought to be nothing more than an urban legend, be behind the crime and corruption? Or is Bruce Wayne losing his grip on sanity and falling prey to the pressures of his war on crime?
green lantern, vol. 5 (2011) In the aftermath of a deadly showdown between the Green Lantern Corps and a mysterious foe from the past, Hal Jordan has been stripped of his ring. Left standing is an unexpected new Green Lantern in town: Sinestro! And now, this renegade GL has set a course for Korugar with one purpose: To free his homeworld from the scourge of his own Sinestro Corps, with the not-so-willing help of Hal Jordan!
rebirth (2016) brings us to the latest relaunch ‘rebirth’ of which i am extremely behind whoops but i can tell you right now that basically every title in this relaunch is worth checking out (i only read a few issues of nightwing, green arrow and batman but they’re all worth checking out my guy)
if you’re interested in any of the arrowfam comics go directly too @blackcanarydinah she will school you on things i one day hope to know
for buying comic trades i’d recommend using bookdepository as they do worldwide free shipping, for single issues i usually use tfaw or ebay. if you need more resources i have a shit ton of comic shit bookmarked, just hmu if needed for whatever 🤗💕
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