#im not even allowed to spend money wtf do i do

[gyuscoquetteribbon]

svt headcanons (them as genshin impact players)

-> warnings: none !!

-> a/n: aaaaa I love writing headcanons sm bear wit me pls </3 also i wanted to save up for baizhu but i really wanted layla and i pulled for her and got mona instead im actually devastated i gotta kiss my baizhu goodbye ;-; I've been waiting for him for two years T^T

-> seungcheol:

his team : zhongli, raiden, ganyu, bennett

absolutely loves lumine over aether.

somehow has the best luck ever and almost never loses 50/50????

however, he also has the worst luck when it comes to artifacts and almost never gets good artifacts at all but he kinda deserves it for all the 50/50s he won >:[

would definitely start rage killing hilichurls, abyss mages, samachurls or literally any enemy that decides to come his way after wasting all his resins on artifacts that he does NOT!! WANT!!

never allows the rest of the boys enter his world (ESPECIALLY JEONGHAN) because they always steal ascension materials that he is in need of.

but, he also has the AUDACITY to whine and sulk if the other members don't let him in their world.

all the children in the game (qiqi and maybe even nahida included) are his own children now idc (i may or may not be projecting here).

"I even got you dinner with my o w n money and you have the audacity to reject my co-op request????"

-> jeonghan:

his team : ayato, ayaka, scaramouche, raiden

definitely put raiden and scaramouche in the same team for shits and giggles given the history the two share

he definitely has venti or childe as his avatar picture or whatever idk he just gives off that vibe.

DEFINITELY CHOSE LUMINE AT THE BEGINNING

enters people's worlds under the pretense of collecting easily available things but ends up stealing stuff like onikabutos.

stands in the sidelines when he feels like he's gonna lose his characters in a co-op fight

BIGGEST PAIMON ANTI EVER !! HE HATES EVERYTHING ABOUT HER !!!

would kill timmie's pigeons just because .

"Hey can I just collect cecilia for my venti real quick?" (those are NOT his real intentions)

-> joshua:

his team : ganyu, nilou, yae miko, xinqui

no.1 aether defender !!

LOVES LOVES LOVES HYDRO CHARACTERS FOR SOME REASON. THEYRE ALL SO PRETTY !!!

has such pretty serenitea layouts fr !! absolutely loves the serenitea pot <3333

spends so much time in making things in his serenitea pot that he doesn't even get the time to build his characters.

almost never plays in co-op mode.

knows where you get what wood and where to mine certain items BY HEART

definitely has a thing for the mirror maiden and the pyro fatui agent. he literally goes heart eyes <3___<3 for them.

"Oh sandbearer wood? You'll find it all around liyue !"

-> jun:

his team: ganyu, xiao, yanfei, razor

you can hear him screaming from across the street, even with the door to your house closed and locked everytime he loses 50/50 and gets qiqi

definitely has c6 qiqi by now. he hasn't even got her past level 1 (he's petty)

was definitely stressed when he was asked to choose between aether and lumine (he chose aether in one server and lumine in the other purely because he couldn't choose who he wanted)

cannot pronounce the mondstadt characters names for the life of him like wtf is a fischl 😐

BIGGEST GANYU LUVER <33333 HE WAS SO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT BUILDING HER !! she's literally the only triple crowned character.

another paimon hater. he doesn't even give her a chance to speak he's clicking past it in the speed of light.

he loves the lore but hates having to read the voicelines like that takes SO. MUCH. EFFORT.

definitely gave scaramouche a goofy name and had a good giggle about it for 3 mins before he realized this name is final and it can't be changed so now he's stuck with a goofy name for his wanderer :///

"NOOOO I DIDN'T MEAN TO NAME HIM SCARAMUCUS !!!"

-> hoshi:

his team : itto (it just makes sense), childe, venti, xinyan

AETHER LUVER™

definitely cried during the inazuma archon quest. (and the inazuma world quest where they had to do that cleansing ritual)

literally gets past all the quest out of pure luck because he does NOT know how to build his characters for the life of him.

wonwoo would ocassionally help him with artifacts but that's about it.

wouldn't even want a certain character and he'd still pull for them because he likes to collect 5 stars 😧

his quest list is endless because he just never completes them.

has a teeny tiny crush on all the sumeru enemies, men and women alike (I'm most definitely projecting here)

"WHY MUST TEPPEI DIE?? *sniffle* I HATE THIS GAME SO MUCH!"

-> wonwoo:

his team : yae miko, al haitham, hu tao, nahida

probably the only one that knows how to build his characters properly.

definitely chose aether.

NOT an f2p player.

he completed the aranara quest in a single day 😰 (it took him 6.5 hours)

completed the spiral abyss 😧

hasn't opened his serenitea pot. like, at all.

he let's out a guttural scream everytime he gets yunjin in place of a 5 star he wanted (definitely projecting here, I'm not sorry

" Let me help you with your quests since I'm done with mine." (To hoshi, of course)

-> woozi:

his team : raiden, heizou, ayaka, nilou

most of his archon quests were completed by wonwoo.

chose aether in a hurry.

doesn't really pull unless he thinks the playstyle of a character suits his taste.

fought a ruin guard ONE (1) time and decided the game isn't worth it.

HATES HATES HATES DRAGONSPINE !!

only does his ascension quest if wonwoo or jun are around so that he could do the first half and they'd take care of the rest.

actually feels sorry for timmie instead of hatred the way most genshin players do :(

Just pure screams of agony because he's been made to fight a rifthound.

-> minghao:

his team : yelan, fischl, kazuha, kokomi

strictly a f2p player because he thinks it's pure insanity to even pay money for a game that he'd get tired of in two years. moreover, humans shouldn't be so greedy and must also face the downs of life (losing 50/50) and not just the ups.

is actually very interested in the lore and has probably read the genshin comic.

biggest lumine defender !!!

diluc >>>>> kaeya for some reason.

strategically builds his characters. he first builds his main team and the other characters he switches now and then, depending on the enemy he's fighting. he, then, builds the healers that are left and then the shield users that are left before getting to the characters that he personally fancies.

has reached friendship level 10 with most of his characters.

another person who actually takes some time out to build the prettiest layouts in his serenitea pot.

"Luck shouldn't be BOUGHT. It should come your way on its own. So, you getting Al Haitham through welkin doesn't really count as a win, but that's just my opinion 🥰"

-> mingyu:

his team : yae miko, al haitham, yelan, bennett

chose lumine as the traveller in one server and aether as the traveller in another server because they're both so precious to him.

has the BIGGEST, FATTEST crush on the mirror maidens and the oceanid (something about the shit-talking gets him going 😧)

he chose his team based on how hot they are, excluding bennett, of course. he chose bennett because that's his son and he's a healer.

accidentally plunges down where the npcs are walking and scares them.

only buys welkin when he REALLY wants a character (basically, if the character is hot)

is actually pretty good at building his characters, but has a horrible luck when pulling for them. and he's almost always getting yunjin like at this point bro has c6 yunjin please hoyoverse stop this madness 😰😰

only buys welkin when he REALLY wants a character (basically, if the character is hot)

has so many people in his friends list. so much so that, he's actually nearing the limit. HE DOESNT EVEN ENTER SOMEONE'S WORLD MORE THAN ONCE HE JUST HAS STRANGERS IN HIS FRIENDS LIST!!

"Oh, I don't know who deez is; they're just. THERE."

-> dokyeom:

his team : yelan, heizou, layla, fischl

LUMINE IS HIS DAUGHTER.

he's so sweet, he let's jeonghan and other people into his world every single time only for them to steal the things he really needs.

uses raiden's skill and then stands in the sidelines with jeonghan. he is NOT GETTING IN THERE AND DYING >:[

everytime he's fighting outside of co-op mode, you can hear him screaming 3 neighbourhoods away.

uses klee's skill to bomb you up when he gets mad at you.

definitely tried to ice bridge his way to inazuma when he was a low ar player and died by a lightning strike. 5 times. On different ocassions.

actually enjoyed the aranara quest because the aranaras are SO cute !!

(To jeonghan) "So...do you wanna bet who'll die first in this domain among those two?"

-> seungkwan:

his team : tighnari, xinyan, fischl, barbara

he's planning on naming his firstborn lumine.

though barbara doesn't cause a lot of damage he's actually content with the way she heals others.

he's the one fighting for his life in domains while dokyeom and jeonghan are standing in the sidelines, placing bets.

he can't even pause the game to text them in-game, so he just yells from his room.

he isn't very good with bow users but he loves tighnari's character. SO MUCH HE JUST CANT NOT PUT HIM ON HIS TEAM :(((

he refuses to switch tightnari out of his team, no matter what!! he WILL be there.

everytime paimon speaks, he gets into a one-sided conversation (argument) with her. OUT LOUD.

"CAN YOU BOTH S T O P PLACING BETS AND COME HELP ME??? YOU KNOW WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH QUICKER IF YOU'D JUST COME HERE. IS THIS HOW YOU'RE GONNA BE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN APOCALYPSE TOO???!"

-> vernon:

his team : childe, albedo, dendro traveller, kuki

loves aether so much for an unexplainable reason. like he literally built dendro traveller with so much efforts <3

he's there for the lore.

AVOIDS GOING TO THE CHASM AND DRAGONSPINE LIKE THE PLAGUE.

is the only one that helps seungkwan out in domains.

doesn't get on co-op that often unless it's seungkwan.

takes his own sweet time in completing the archon quests insead of rushing head first into them.

if he can't complete a quest, he'd be on youtube IMMEDIATELY. if he fails the first time you are NOT gonna see him do it on his own the second time without a youtube guide.

"Oh...the chasm? You wanna go to the chasm? Ah...give me a sec, I need to use the bathroom real quick." *vernonline has left your world* (legend has it that he is still in the bathroom)

-> dino:

his team : eula, razor, hu tao, diona

always gets smacked left and right by the ruin hunter before he could dodge its attacks.

he loves lumine so much. He even has a lumine plushie.

loves getting on co-op mode with his members please he just enjoys playing with them so much <3333

he makes headcanons about the characters during his free time and gets so excited when someone asks him about it.

he WON'T stop talking about his headcanons.

sometimes he gets bored of the game but then remembers that he needs to get to the end to see how the story plays out.

anybody can join his world because this silly fool did not choose the ask before joining option. and then, he'll freak out when he sees another person in his world.

"OH MY GOD!?@*! WHO ARE YOU??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? WHAT????"

[abvfluxing]

Several months ago i told my roommate i wasnt interested in looking at a new place to live, bcus at the time i figured there was a good chance i wouldnt still be living in ohio in the next several months to year. (I never told her why i didnt want to look at new places thankfully). Bcus i thot things were going to keep moving in a positive way with him. Very stupid of me.

I waited 6 months on two things. "Idk how I feel " and "we will meet in person". 6 fucking months of waiting patiently.

And when i finally bring up the first thing i get "well i don't think i feel that way... but who knows what the future holds". Wtf. half a year and you still cant say it decisively. I tried so hard to take that as a definitive response and move on, but it wasnt and i couldnt. Bcus im an idiot.

After the first cancelled meeting i waited. Then a second cancelled meeting. And he says "well im not going out of my way looking to pick up trips to go that way, itll happen when it happens". I keep waiting. One day i try to sincerely explain how much its hurting me to wait to meet like this, and how much I want to take the initiative and plan a trip to his city. And how worried i am about the whole "flight school" on the horizon since its going to most likely alter his schedule in such a way that him and i will have so little free time at the same time. And how that scares me bcus it feels like the first step to losing him completely. And this is another reason im pushing to make a meeting happen.

So Making it very very clear that i only would want for one small simple meeting, like a lunch, and that if thats all i got with him that would be enough bcus i also just really want to travel somewhere and see things jve never seen and that taking a plane by myself is a very scary thing, but if im going somehwere where i know a friend is on the otherside it gives me the strength to do something so extreme for myself, i mean im someone that gets stressed and anxious just trying to go to a store or run errands. He says "no, i cant guarantee it would work out to meet, and i dont want you to spend all that money and be disappointed" also "im not out to my family so itd be comllicated to have you over as anything other than a friend". First of all, im not even allowed to try and make something happen. 2nd with weeks ahead of time anybody can plan for a single lunch to happen once out of 2 or 3 days possible. 3rd it must not matter how important it is to me, to be able to try and do something like this, how little i expect how little commitment im asking for it, how unobtrusive im trying to be but also experience something. It doesnt matter. 4th, what the fuck is that second excuse coming from? I didnt ask to meet your family, i didnt ask to come over to a family dinner and ve introduced as your boyfriend. How is that a concern when ive made it clear none of that is expected? (Well stupid ass me thinks only someone thinking of doing those things would randomly bring them up when they were not previously stated). 5thly, if you had a job that would literally PAY you to go and visit your alleged "best friend" ... wouldnt you kinda fucking want to do that? Wouldnt that be cool as shit? If i could get paid to visit some of my friends, i think maybe i might try and make that happen every once in a while. So he wont take a paid trip to see me, and im not allowed to pay for my own trip to him. Kinda really sounds like "i dont want to meet you". Only took this dumbass about 8 months to realize that one.

The last couple of weeks ive been trying to act "normal ". Im not messaging him everyday, even tho i want to. And it fucking hurts me. And idk how he feels about it, or if hes even noticed. Not like he would ever really tell me the truth anyway. So im an idiot and an asshole.

I can't even get him to say something as simple as "i want to spend time with you" i tried so hard one night to see if he could even say that much, it didnt work. Bcus im an idiot.

We had two big fights recently too. The one everyone could see where he made it clear he thinks im stupid as shit. And then a second one a few days later while in a discord call. He was upsetting me so much i had to hang up on him before i blew a gasket. Then i explained to him why i got so upset and his response was "wow you got upset over someone elses opinions". He was going to let the night end like that. Soni explained further why I was so upset. And he said something like "ok". And i had to be like "do i even get an apology?" (After i had already apologized for hanging up and getting upset, earlier in the convo). And only then did he finally give a half assed barely covering the problem apology. But I took it and rejoined the call after calming down a bit more. Once again i was being stupid and an ass.

Ever since those two fights i feel like i get treated like shit all the time. Like he is mad at me about stuff but cant even remotely bring it up outside of treating me like shit. But then the one day he streams its all "this is the game brad recommended for me, he knows me so well" blah blah blah. And weirdly nice replies sometimes. Like clearly something is up. But more likely im just an idiot.

He was trying to talk to me the other day, just a couple days after my "worst day" of the very very bad past two weeks. I told him "sorry i havent been feeling well". Him "oh are you sick. Me "well not like cough cough sick". Him " then what is it?". Me "its hard to say out loud". Him "oh ok".

And that was it. No reassurance, no "im here", no "i understand but you can talk to me if itd help". Nothing. Is that really how someone responds to their "best friend" clearly not being well? Its hard for me to tell bcus im so stupid.

And then the announcement earlier. Came with no warning to me. Last i heard he hadnt heard back from any places. And hours before he posted that he asked what I was doing, and i was playing totk amd watching gdq with the roommate. Not really a good time for him and i to play a game together that would take the main tv in the living room. So he said ok have fun. And i said "if you want to hang out in a call thatd be cool". Him "well id have to go in the other room, ill just stay in the living its more comfortable". Me "ok well lmk if you figure out how to use discord in the living room and id be down to hang out". Him "id either have to wear headphones and not hear the game or put you on speaker and youd hear my game. Which is so annoying". Me "i normally use headphone and just leave one ear uncovered to hear the game. Also so when my games have been too loud". Him "its mostly my friend nate 'blah blah blah" convo ends. And a couple hours later we get that announcement.

Hes got his next two months planned out basically. One month of "working back to back" which contains two weeks off, one of which an international vacation! Lmao. Followed by starting school the next month. two weeks before my birthday! How perfect! I messaged him and told him im happy to hear that he finally heard back from a place. And that im happy for him. But im also so fucking pissed. Ive told him how this school thing coming worries me, and he makes a group post instead of telling his "best friend" first. Isnt that fucked up? Once again im being treated like shit. And hes able to have two weeks off in june, including an 8 day international vacation. But i get "ill try to stream for those other days". Somebody you said "we will meet eventually" and you cant make room for me after all this time before turning your whole lifes schedule around making it so you know we wont be able to hang out anymore. So clearly im a huge fucking asshole for having such selfish fucking thots when all i should have thot was "oh yay good for you!". But hey thats what you get when your a stupid worthless ashole am i right? 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆

[interdepartmentalconcersations]

wow i just cant really get passeed it i just dont know. i know noeone will ever see these and they certainly wont guess who i am but man, i just dont think that i can pretend anymore i am pretending so much about my life and so much about who i am. i dot dont think that my life is anywhere how i i planned for it to be. im already 22 and im about to turn 23 realy soon ai just feel like i let my parents down and more importantly i feel like imletting myself down, i have been througha whole lot of fucked up things in my life and i jst dont get how i can fuck up this bad.

i have a shitty job, i was makeing more money at 18 than i am now. My body is unhealty and ugly and as much as i would kike to change i dont really know what to do to gain the motivation. i feeel like i have a whole lot of obsticles in my way and its not helping however i dont know. '

if i could manifest anything it would be the motivation to eat nothing but healthy things, hva e aperfect wardobe , do healthy things everyday throught my day and to have a healthy relationship with my artner. these things seem so easy to say but obtaining them has taken litterally tekn up my whole life and i still havent achaived anything. if i cant figure it out in 23 years whos to say i can figure it out in another 23 ears?

how do i just allow myself to do this . how have i gone through so much and made it through so many diffrent levels f hell only to hae gotton nothing from it but truama responces and defeat . its not like the movies, it not romantic to be abused . it not romatic to eat aay your pain, it not romatic to just graze through life with no money.

the relationshi i have with money is beyond fucked uo i dont know what to do with it. i am relyant on my signifigant other for money and its fucked up. there are so many things that i need but i am afraid to spend moeny on but the things i dotn need like histty food are so easy to spend money on and i dont know what thats all about. like wtf what am i suppose to do with this. how do i fix this. i hat eowrk somuch every job and job type i hat ei dont like the work itself and i dont like my cowerkers, the workers theselves can couse me to be okay with not eating anything bt a bag of chips for dinner for two weeks if that means i dont have to kr with them anymroe. plus i have no friends

at my age there is no inbetween, you either are super succeful and have a shit tone of money already and are succeful or your super broke just like me and the succesul people dont want to hang out with a bum like me and a oerson who is broke is working all the time and doesnt have time or the money to go and and do stuff.

when your olnly friend is your partner it drags you down especially when that person doesnt act like they like you anymore, even when ou hear the " i love you" of the " i care about you more than anyone" but when you look into there ayes and they have nothing but irritation and disdain its fucked, it makes you worry especially if you have been through the situation where someone says all the right things but hates you and tell you in other ways, like by their actions and by there mood toward you, before. you begin to worry.

" is this the same thing that was happening back then?" " is this going to be like this forver " " i remember those looks and those moods"

it makes you wonder if you are cabable of having someone love you or if you are worhty of the correct kind of love . the trauma repsonses click on without you even thingking about it and it ruins your relationship with your signifigant other and with yourself over and pver again.

you would tell a friend but you dont have any, but they do . they talk about it to all of their 90 frinds and family that would listen and form opinions about you. which sould be fine and it wouldnt bother you if you could do the same thig but all you have is you. and you dont even like yourself or think there is anythig you can do to make yuourself lovable.

the things in life that fuck with you them most are the things you create for yourself wheather or not they be on purpose or all by accient, you hurt yourself the most.

and allowing other to do it to you too.

[mydiaryx]

wed 16th nov

Not feeling good today, really not good. Anxiety is so high, like higher than its been in forever, is it just bc of my nose piercing? And the fact that im so behind with work, stressing me big time. If I just get over it tho it will be fine. Also I hate how im spending money, like ill literally have none soon. Scary, im not gonna get much from urban either. Need to charge up may Mac too. I don’t feel like going home. Kind of like oh are they gonna ask me about young lean too lol. Bet my dad will make fun. Ill just make up something like oh like George got guest list lol. Why do I even care. Im really letting it effect me.

So tempted to have that val. but feel like I should have it the morning of the presentational, lmao. Kill me, I should talk about my issues maybe ! Im in absolute just like want to shut down and die. I cant deal , deffo need a drink big time, I wanna talk to tara but its difficult over the thingy lol. Ill stay here for a bit and get to 100 then ill go down. And then ill actually start doing my work. I should definitely have a tutorial for sourcing, even if it is really scary. Also I do actually need to file my nails a bit im already finding it hard to type. Friction hell !! At least I can paint them properly now, feel like I should check critical path too. That’s so weird they just said critical path at the same time lol. Anyways, like if I sleep at home ill wake up early tmo, then ill feel much better, ill be able to stay in uni literally until I go to pole. I do feel afwul tho, like I can’t believe I didn’t send eden any of that shite !! I hope she don’t mind. I would really love to see her ! I just really need some more fucking valium man. Fucks sake I miss having no anxiety. Its just got so bad now. I feel like I just need to throw myself into the deep end or something, I get that feeling like when I was younger, I just used to jump into a pool and stay under the water for ages. Like that’s all I could do. Its weirdly comforting, like the silence of nothing. At least later ill have like loads of H3 podcasts to watch, need to work out how im gonna get there and back too !!!

Don’t wanna be spending p really. Fucking annoying how I can’t get arriva click anymore. Suppose it was just like too unused. Lets see if I get invited to press. I hope so !! Would be nice. Can’t believe that was fucking 2 weeks ago. Like if I think about it I’ve actually hardly done any work since then. Like fucks sake !! Like I have been doing things just not like really properly. Anyway I need to focus on something today, either sourcing or design cult, or tbh could do a bit of FMP. But for deffo im saving COLLAB for tomorrow. That’s why I need to look at critical path ! I just really did not realise like how much going away would throw me off. I can’t believe how much work I have to do ! Damn. Also i. Hope that me working inn the week like next week won’t fuck me too much, but tbh I think it will big time !! Bc ill be spending the weekend with George. Oh well, look I just have to do what I have to do. I thin k most of my anxiety today is jut stemming from my parents seeing my nose piercing. And it literally does not matter at all, its not like im saying im pregnant, or like I’ve got some massive tattoo, just a little one lol, that ill keep secret for a while, until I just tell my mum one day lol. I can imagine what Skye just said hahahaha. Also wtf I really want some fucking food now agh, need to resist the temptation, and the temptation for coffee, although that is more tempting, and sort of like more allowed because it helps me I suppose. You know, once I start doing my work it really wont be that bad, I just need to actually start doing it. Like ill just fully start on my sourcing, and then ill do that until like a certain time, then ill go sit with the other guys for a bit, like when im fully charged, bc we can talk about later! Its cute tho that im invited now to things like this lol. Im not even sure who’s coming and who’s not, think it will be interesting… still not sure what ill wear, not sure what vibe to go for tbh, like could do like cute or slutty, like will my docs be like annoying and not slay. Hmm decisions, one thing I do know is that ill be wearing black, as always. Anyway I should start on my sourcing now. And like actually do it. And you know what ill have a chewing gum too, so I don’t want food lol. Slay slay slay all day bestie

. Bye love ya xx

[ragingbisomething]

Great christmas is coming up which means i actually have to try and

use my brain

in order to make a gift for my family (ฅ⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́)و ̑̑

[shiftynightshade]

How Half Of Class 1-A Gained A Crush On Iida At 5 AM

It was at 5 AM that class 1-A learned how hot Tenya Iida actually was.

Now it was granted that the class already considered Iida ‘good looking’, but between his constantly uptight attitude and rather comical gestures, Iida was a rather funny person to look at. But it wasn’t until one rather inconspicuous morning that their ‘holy shit Iida’s hot’ revelation actually smacked them in the face out of left field.

Only a little over half of the class was awake, some were already wide awake and dressed like Aoyama, Todoroki and Jirou. Some were half awake with their pyjamas still on like Bakugou, Tokoyami, Yaoyorozu, Kirishima and Uraraka. The rest had stumbled down only a few moments before, eyes barely cracked open and barely coherent. Kaminari was half babbling over his mug of coffee while Ashido and Midoriya were blinking away sleep from their eyes slowly, bags prominent in the early morning.

It was pretty peaceful, if not slightly disconcerting to not hear or see Iida’s frankly, endearing hand chops and rambles.

As if he had been summoned Iida ever so slightly stumbled down the stairs, glasses in one hand as he let out a yawn that interrupted his “Pardon me” and ran another through his hair, blues strands becoming mussed and undercut on full display.

As he delicately placed his glasses on his face (perfectly of course, Iida doesn’t do anything in half spades) the rest of them could just picture the rosy background and sparkles around him as if they were in a cheesy anime, before his eyes blinked open to reveal ruby red eyes that positively shone as he peacefully smiled at them, surprisingly calm for once compared to usual loud way of speech.

“Good morning all!”

Everyone that was in the room had quickly spreading blushes across their faces, all dumbstruck except for Aoyama who simply squeaked out “Magnifique!”

Hell even Bakugou was blushing even if he was still frowning, which was probably his default expression. (Don’t worry though, everyone knew he was a big softie.)

Thankfully Iida didn’t notice his classmates blushing as he walked into the kitchen, presumably to make himself breakfast.

“What the fuck” Bakugou sounded so startled that somehow didn’t even begin to match what they were all feeling at that moment.

They all though that it was a onetime thing but nope, the universe hated them.

When they arrived to class Iida greeted them with a blinding smile and energetic hand chops.

And much to the amusement and confusion of their other classmates, whenever Iida either glanced in their direction or talked to them they would furiously blush and stammer like underclassmen around their crushes.

Whenever he would see their expressions, Iida would his head to the side in concern and frown (but that only worsen the blushing and stammering as it him look like a curious puppy-)

“Are you alright? You’re bright red! Are you sick?”

The concern in his eyes would make them melt and it would be physically be painful to try and not collapse into a puddle of goo on the floor.

Midoriya would be frantically texting Shinsou in a bi panic whenever Iida would smile at him (so ninety-five percent of the time) while the rest would scream with their friends in a blubbering mess. Midoriya basically spent most of his time with Iida so this was pure torture.

Of course it got worse as the week dragged on. When they decided to use the pool Iida just had to forego a swimming cap dammit. His head shone in the sun from where it was plastered to his forehead and poor Kaminari was subjected to seeing a shirtless and soaked Iida in a new light.

Kaminari, being the chaotic dumbass he was, nearly short-circuited and electrocuted everyone in the pool, but thankfully was splashed out of his stupor by Yaoyorozu, who was blushing just as hard as him, but they all managed to pass their blushing off as simply being hot from the sun, which earned them a small lecture about sun safety.

Oh and don’t even get them started on heroics class with All Might. Tokoyami and Iida had been paired up for the exercise, which some of the others both were grateful for and lamented the fact that they weren’t with the class president.

They had agreed to split up and search the two buildings beside each other, only for Tokoyami to be thrown through one of the top windows by one of Bakugou’s more aggressive blasts, which had stunned Tokoyami enough that he wasn’t able to be prepared enough for the fall that came right after.

All Might was seconds away from stepping in only for Iida sans his helmet to burst through one of the other windows opposite of the building and catch Tokoyami by wrapping his arms around the smaller male, and essentially wrap his entire body around him before crashing through another window, allowing his body to take the brunt of the fall.

Tokoyami had thankfully walked away from the fall with only a few bruises while Iida had gained a slightly dislocated shoulder from the impact, some bruising all along his right side, arm, neck and a small graze along cheek.

Tokoyami had been apologising profusely for Iida’s injuries at the end of the lesson in Recovery Girl’s infirmary while Dark Shadow crowed sadly, but Iida had simply waved his apologies off with a smile and a “Do not worry about it at all Tokoyami-kun! Bakugou-kun is a strong person, and I am pleased that I managed to catch you in time!”

Later that night Tokoyami had screamed into the recently made group chat that the eleven had made, which was aptly named Tenya Iida Simps™, which had only existed for roughly two nearly three days, but had already gained just shy of two thousand messages.

Funnily enough,most of it was just key smashes.

Tenya Iida Simps™

Bananabeak: UHBWDCIDEIEPEI

Assid: couldn’t have said better myself toko

Peppermint Bastard: Is this about what happened earlier Tokoyami?

Bananabeak: WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU THINK????

God Herself: It’s okay Tokoyami, get it all out of your system.

Bananabeak: I- he’s just so soft!?!? He cradled me so gently I felt so safe an grateful that he caught me because I certaintly wouldn’t have walked away from a fall like that uninjured like I did today and just jkhuhlehlhdf he so kind because even though he was hurt and took nearly all the damage form that fall be still asked me if I was alright like excuse me sir you are BLEEDING AND YOU ARE ASKING ME IF IM ALRIGHT!?

JackJack is jacked: oof I feel ya there Tokoyami

Voltboi: yeah! Just like when Iida has helping me and ashido do some revision before a test but I could barely even concentrate cause his eyes are just so fucking pretty

Voltboi: I mean how are his eyes such a nice shade of red wtf

Bakugou? More Like BakuBITCH: Normally I would yell at you lot for that, but honestly?

Bakugou? More Like BakuBITCH: Valid

Of course even though they would all scream into the void at some point (The void being the chat) it didn’t help things in the slightest.

Aoyama had been asking Iida about different outfit designs that he would create (Of course everyone in the class knew about his designing hobby, but Iida was one of the only people who he shared the process with) and the class president was ecstatic when he was asked for his input.

Aoyama had confessed to Iida at one point that he had doubts about his work, only for Iida to smile and offer to be a model for his designs at some point, which only made Aoyama nearly burst into tears while hugging him.

While most of the groups interactions with Iida were soft and heart-warming, Bakugou and Kirishima had both agreed that training with Iida was both annoying and fun because one; Iida was so attractive that they kept getting distracted and two; Iida fought ruthlessly and wasn’t afraid to play dirty.

Todoroki of course enjoyed spending time with his friend, (when they weren’t plotting Endeavour’s murder that was) except when he had to make sure that hadn’t caught fire or anything.

And of course Uraraka couldn’t stop blushing whenever she and Iida were out about the city with the rest of the squad, and without fail she would nearly burst into tears and nearly start to blubber whenever they would be out to get food. Iida would ask them what they want, and every time she would say “S-sorry Iida but I don’t have any money” he would simply narrow his eyes at her and say “I didn’t ask you if you had any money, I asked what you wanted.”

Of course Tsu would send all three of them knowing looks whenever Iida’s back was turned.

Yaoyorozu and Jirou both loved that whenever Mineta was trying to creep up on the girls or feel them up that Iida would immediately call him out on it, and even that one time he dragged him outside and used recipro burst to kick Mineta into the principal’s office via an open window and yet somehow didn’t get any punishment for.

Of course when the week came to a close Iida happened to be visiting his family for the weekend, so he waved a cheerful goodbye and left a warm fluttery feeling in their chests.

Ojiro watched as the small group quickly dispersed to their respective rooms, Shoji, Tsuyu and Sero all having knowing smirks, (or a knowing glint in his eye in Shoji’s case.) “Man, they’re in deep aren’t they?” His comment drew snickers from the other three.

*Bonus*

“So Tenya, got anything to tell us?”

Tenya looked up from his food to look at Tensei, only to smirk.

“What, you mean that all of a sudden just over half of my classmates have suddenly gained a crush on me?” Kayama let out a cackle. “Looks like the Iida genes strike again!”

Shouta smirked. “So that’s why half of my problem children were a blushing, stuttering mess all week?”

Tenya laughed. “Oh most definitely.”

“Wait wait wait, hold up!” Hitoshi pointed his fork at his cousin. “You’re telling me that you were aware of everything? So Midoriya was texting me about how oblivious you were, only for him to be completely fucking wrong!?”

Tenya nodded. “Absolutely, even their ‘secret group chat’ which is honestly barely even a secret.”

Hitoshi sat back in his chair with a small “huh”.

Hizashi leant over the table eagerly. “What’s the name of the chat?”

Both boys snorted. “You sure you wanna know?” Hitoshi cackled.

Kayama laughed. “Okay, now you have to tell us.”

Tenya smirked. “Tenya Iida Simps Trade Marked.”

A brief bout of silence- then Tensei slammed his head against the table with shaking shoulders while the rest of them let out loud shrieks of laughter that echoed throughout the house.

“THEY CALL THEMSELVES SIMPS, OH MY GOD”

Shouta leaned over to look at Tenya. “You gonna make next week absolute hell for them, aren’t you?”

Tenya laughed. “Oh, absolutely.”

A small crash then pained laughter came up from the floor. “H-HELP, I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UUUP!”

Tenya laughed. “Looks like Hitoshi’s died.”

Another small crash and Hizashi’s head disappeared from his seat as he slid to the ground, squeaky wheezes escaping his lungs.

“Aaaand there goes Hizashi-nii.”

Shouta snorted. “Welp, looks like both my husband and son are dead, best get more cats to fill up the now empty space in the house.”

“W-WOW LOOK AT THAT DAD, WE’RE GETTING REPLACED BY F-FUCKING CATS.”

Hizashi wheezed from his place on the carpet.

Tenya smirked. God he loved fucking with his classmates, and if a video was taken of the other three laughing their asses off and stored in the blackmail folder in one of the darker spots of his phones storage, well that was a fact that Tenya would keep to himself with a small smile.

[into-control]

Into i need help. I bought a oculus quest 2 right and i tried to connect it to my laptop and it wont work so I realized i needed and actual pc gaming setup you know, problem is idk anything about PCs and i dont wanna get scammed. Can you help me? Ive looked online and idk wtf im looking at tbh. Can you give like advice and shit lol 😂 love you into 💕

well i'm not a professional at pcs by any means but i've always had a huge fixation on them so i can try to help as much as possible and i'll even try to put it in simple terms. fair warning, i talk A LOT in this post because i love rambling about computers :') i tried to use the simplest terms possible since you seem confused but if something doesn't make sense just ask and i can try to reword.

it all depends on what you want out of your pc. and do you want to build one or get a prebuilt one? if you want my advice i recommend building one. getting a prebuilt pc is the easiest way to get scammed because retailers tend to overcharge and they think they can get away with it because they stuck a flashy high end graphics card and colourful lights in it even though it has shit airflow and they cheaped out on the motherboard and power supply or something like that. if you're going to get a prebuilt pc make sure you look at allll the specs and consult some online reviews to see if they're any good, and figure out if you're going to be overcharged. now i'll talk about building one. a lot of this will still be useful if you're considering buying a prebuilt though.

the very first step is deciding your budget. idk where you are but in USD the typical amount to spend on pc parts is i think like $1000 - 1500 (you can spend less but that's if you don't have a lot of money to spend and are still desperate to have a gaming pc). i'm spending around $1700 CAD (before taxes, eugh) on mine bc i want to get into more demanding games eventually. it sounds very costly but computers like these can last you a decade and are very multifaceted. figuring out your budget first instead of going right ahead and buying stuff is important because each component should take up specific percentages of your budget. another important thing to consider when deciding your budget is if you want RGB (the colourful lights as previously mentioned), because components with that capability are slightly more expensive.

after deciding your budget, your first move is deciding what graphics card (GPU) you want. the GPU is responsible for processing and presenting the visuals on your screen. theoretically it should take up between 35 - 40% of your budget because it is the powerhouse in a gaming system. you have two developers to choose from here: NVIDIA or AMD. from what i've seen people tend to prefer NVIDIA but AMD cards aren't bad and they definitely compete in performance. i'll talk about nvidia though because that's what i know more about. by searching up the oculus quest 2 system requirements it tells me you at least need an nvidia geforce gtx 970. this card came out in 2014 and is by no means bad however it is actually the same base price as a lot of newer cards. if you want to go better than the minimum requirements, first consider what your monitor is capable of. if you don't have one yet, consider what you want it to do. monitors are not considered a part of the budget i keep mentioning by the way. idk how much this matters to you since we're talking about the oculus quest 2 but i'm just kind of assuming you're going to use this pc for other games too. the main two things to take into consideration are max resolution and refresh rate. my monitor has a resolution of 1920 x 1080 and a 144hz refresh rate. what the resolution means is that there are 2,073,600 pixels in the screen, and can go up to a resolution of 1080p in video games. the refresh rate means the monitor can refresh the picture on the screen 144 times a second, therefore can show a max of 144 frames per second in a video game. to put that in to perspective, most screens have a refresh rate of 60hz, such as regular laptop screens, iphone screens, etc.. monitors come in mainly 60hz, 75hz, 144hz, and 165hz, and for resolution they mainly come in 1080p, 1440p, and 4k. seeing as i don't have any plans on upgrading my monitor any time soon, dropping extra money on a GPU that can achieve more than 144fps and 1440p/4k would be pointless. but forget about the monitor, the oculus quest 2 has a max refresh rate of 120hz and its resolution lies somewhere between 1080p and 1440p. if you know what kind of games you're going to be playing, look up how they perform with different kinds of cards. i'm fairly certain anything above an nvidia geforce rtx 3070 would be pointless because of your display limits, and anything below the nvidia geforce gtx 970 simply won't be enough for the system. you can look at all the GPUs ranked here. after deciding which GPU you want you need to figure out which brand of it you want (NVIDIA themselves, asus, gigabyte, evga, etc), because they all perform at slightly different levels, although the difference is usually only a few frames so it's better to save money. something to watch out for is the quality of the fans in the GPU because if they aren't good, it will overheat and underperform. i'm aiming to get a 3060 or 3060 ti, if that helps. the only problem is that there is currently a worldwide GPU shortage due to covid, tariffs, and the cryptocurrency mining boom (gpus are used in bulk to mine). fortunately there is currently a crypto mining crackdown happening in china, where majority of mining in the world happens, so the demand for GPUs will hopefully start going down soon. you wont be able to build your pc right away but the market is looking better than it has in awhile. this is just about the only argument i have in favor of getting a prebuilt pc, because they have GPUs in them and are more readily available. i don't think that's a good enough reason though especially since part of the reason i'm building my pc is because it looks fun lol. another thing to note is that you should not overspend on your GPU. the shortage has caused a lot of GPU prices to skyrocket into the $2k-3k range but none of them should be above 1k except the highest end ones. when deciding on a GPU, search up the manufacturer's suggested retail price (MSRP). cards made by brands other than AMD and NVIDIA will almost always cost a little extra, but do not pay hundreds of

extra dollars. but anyways!! the GPU is now out of the way and is definitely the longest paragraph here because it's the most important part.

next up is the central processing unit (CPU), which you should be spending about 20 - 25% of your budget on. its job is essentially to retrieve instructions from the RAM and execute it. i suppose you could call it the brain. again you have two developers to choose from, this time between intel and AMD. i've had two laptops with an intel CPU and my current one has an AMD CPU and both are very good, however the general consensus is that you can get the same performance for less by going with AMD. CPUs have cores, and each core can run its own process. the more cores you have, the more your pc can think about basically. you can get CPUs will all sorts of amounts of cores but for gaming, 4 or 6 cores is all you really need. 8 is actually already a bit overkill. so you really don't need to get the best CPU out there. the one you get should depend on what GPU you get (hence choosing that component first). you don't want to bottleneck your GPU by getting a CPU that isn't good enough for it, but bottlenecking your CPU with the GPU by a small amount isn't as big of a deal because the goal is to allow your GPU to be used to its full ability. another detail about CPU is clock speed, which determines how quick it can complete tasks. the higher the faster, obviously. my (non gaming) laptop's CPU clock speed is 2.30 GHz and has 4 cores. the cpu i have for my build is the AMD ryzen 5 5600x. it has a base clock speed of 3.7 GHz but it can be maxed out to 4.6 GHz, and it has 6 cores. the oculus quest 2 has a minimum requirement of the AMD ryzen 5 1500x or the intel i5-4590, which is a little low on the performance list. but like i said the CPU should depend on the GPU. all it takes is a google search for which CPU goes best with the GPU you've chosen and you can find several answers depending on if you want the best possible performance, best budget performance, etc.. a nice little fact about choosing AMD over intel is that most AMD CPUs will come with a stock cooler, which is absolutely necessary otherwise your CPU will overheat (this is another thing prebuilts will cheap out on). this only adds to the whole price-to-performance thing. the stock cooler will most likely do unless you push your pc or want the build to look prettier.

next on the list is a motherboard, where all the parts come together in unity. you should spend 8 - 10% of your budget on this baby. it's easy to over and underspend on a mobo. the most important thing when it comes to choosing a mobo is that it supports your CPU. you cannot use the same mobo for intel and AMD CPUs. fortunately the product page will straight up tell you which CPU brand the mobo is meant for and will typically have two versions of the same board. it's important to note that motherboards don't always have onboard wifi, meaning it wont be able to connect to the internet via wifi and instead needs an ethernet cable or an external wifi adapter. if you can't get an ethernet cable to the room where you want your pc, you're going to need onboard wifi, or a wifi card/usb. onboard wifi mobos tend to be more expensive so it's up to you, but i personally bought one with wifi included so i wouldn't have to worry about it because our ethernet cables are in the basement and i'm upstairs. another very important thing about motherboards is that their BIOS version (operating system i guess?? idk how else to describe it) doesn't always support your CPU out of the box and must be updated before using it. this can present as a problem if you don't have another CPU to perform the update with, however some motherboards allow you to 'flash' the BIOS with a only usb drive as long as it's hooked up to power. there are plenty of step by step youtube videos about how to do this. i will have to do this with my motherboard when the time comes because it doesn't support ryzen 5s out of the box. don't let this deter you from getting a certain board as long as it has a BIOS flash feature. next up is what I/O ports you want, which are the ports (usb ports, headphone/mic jack, hdmi port, etc) you'd find on the back of any desktop computer. that is the side of the motherboard. basically just be aware of how many of each ports you want, and remember that there will probably be even more ports on the front of the case you get. the last thing i can think of right now is making sure your motherboard has all the headers (where you plug components in) you want it to have but i'll get to that later.

next up on the list is RAM, aka random access memory. this stores short term data. the amount of RAM you have kind of determines how much your pc can multitask. RAM sticks typically go up by some multiple of 2GB. most standard laptops and desktops nowadays will come with 8GB of RAM, which is enough for day to day use. it can be enough for mid and low end games however it cuts it pretty close most of the time. 16GB of RAM is the sweet spot for gaming and anything above that is pretty much overkill (and once again a waste of money) as long as you don't have a billion unnecessary background processes. a large amount of RAM is typically needed for video editors or computer programmers. you should always make sure your motherboard can support the amount of RAM you want although any good motherboard will support 64GB or even 128GB. the best option is to get a 16GB RAM pack, which will include two 8GB RAM sticks. splitting RAM between two sticks will increase efficiency. this is called dual channel. i also recommend getting DDR4 RAM, which is simply faster than DDR3. a good speed to have is around 3600 MHz. make sure your motherboard supports DDR4. you also want to be weary that your RAM is compatible with your CPU brand because they do have to interact for your pc to function.

next is storage. there are three-ish options here depending on how much you're willing to spend. generally you should spend 8 - 10% of the budget here. you can always get a good ole hard drive for the cheapest, however they are the slowest and physically biggest option, meaning whatever you put on it will take a bit longer for your pc to retrieve and open (they can load about 100-200MB of data per second). the next option is a solid state drive. they are a little more expensive but can load as much as 600MB of data per second and take up less space. the last and most efficient/expensive option is an m.2 nvme drive. these things are physically absolutely tiny and can load up to 4GB of data per second. anything you put on these will open very very quickly. the fairly standard solution for this is a combination of two of these three. personally i'm using one m.2 drive and one hard drive. the hard drive i have can store 2TB while the m.2 drive can only store 256GB. funnily enough these two drives are roughly the same price. the idea here is to install your operating system on the faster drive. this makes it so it only takes like 8 seconds tops for your pc to start up. you can also put any other programs you use most often on there (like your main browser and favourite games) and they will open very quickly, while the bulk of your games and other files will go on the bigger drive. that's all there really is to say for storage, just make sure the reviews are good on the drive you want to get, but that goes for any component.

next is your power supply (PSU). very very important to not cheap out on this. 6 - 8% of the budget should go to this. the function of the PSU is to do exactly what its name implies: supply power to all the components. this is where the website pcpartpicker can come in very handy. not only does it help you build a list of parts that are all compatible with each other, it will also estimate how much wattage you will need to run your pc. 600W is usually enough for a normal gaming pc. PSUs are ranked, and you should never really go below a bronze ranking. you can also choose between non-modular, semi-modular, and fully-modular PSUs. non-modular PSUs have all the cables permanently attached. this can be desirable to people who are confused by what cable is plugged in where but also undesirable as unused cables cannot be removed and make cable management harder. fully-modular PSUs come with the cables all in a separate bag so you choose which ones to plug in. semi-modular power supplies have the necessary cables attached and the rest can be attached need be. it all depends on preference and how much faith you have in yourself. i have an 80+ gold certified fully modular 750W PSU because the thought of unnecessary cable management makes me sick lol. corsair is pretty much the most trusted brand for power supplies. be careful because this is another place prebuilts will cut corners.

now for the case! this one isn't overly difficult to choose and mainly will just appeal to your aesthetics. it's less important to stick to a precise percent of the budget for this one but you also don't want to spend more than 8%. do you want a black case? a white one? do you want a glass side panel so you can see inside your pc and admire your hard work? besides that, you also need to make sure the case is big enough for your motherboard, GPU, and PSU. most info pages for cases will tell you the max size of the GPU and PSU and what size of mobo it's meant for. you also want to make sure there is a place to put your storage drives (unless you only have m.2 drives which are installed on the motherboard). you also want to make sure it has optimal airflow abilities. a case with no airflow will cause overheating. the best ones have mesh fronts and tops to allow cool air to be pulled in and hot air out. it's even better if you can get a case that comes with fans in the front, because they are what pulls that cool air in.

next is the CPU cooler, which i briefly mentioned. if you don't get an AMD CPU then you'll need to buy a separate cooler. you can choose between air coolers (a fan and a heatsink) or liquid coolers. i don't really have much to say about them and i recommend doing your own research on liquid coolers lol.

last but not least, case fans. like i said a lot of cases will come with front fans and also an exhaust fan at the back, however you might want more, or even replace the ones you already have with better ones. pay attention to how many fans your case manual says can fit and plan accordingly. check out reviews to see if the fans you want are quiet and efficient. if you buy a three pack of case fans there is a chance it will come with a fan hub. this makes it easier to control all of them in sync because the hub will connect all the fans to one header on the motherboard. generally 3-6 fans are pretty good for a gaming pc. two or three in the front pulling in cool air, one at the back and two on the top to pull out hot air.

now that i have all the components out of the way i'm gonna talk about RGB lighting. numerous components that i've mentioned have the option of including LED lights to make your pc brightly coloured, which is always nice if you have a glass side panel on your pc. it's an extra bit of money but i personally was willing to sacrifice that because i want to show off my build lmao. motherboards, RAM sticks, GPUs, CPU coolers, and case fans are the main components that can come with RGB lighting. you can also get special LED strips and power connectors designed for PCs. if you decide to go for RGB lighting, do try to stick to one RGB ecosystem, meaning make sure all the RGB components can be controlled by one program. RGB is controlled by your motherboard. for example if you get an asus motherboard you'll probably want to use their program, aura sync. most components can be controlled by any brand's program however if the motherboard itself has RGB lighting it can only be controlled via its own brand's program, along with the GPU. if you want RGB case fans you really have to make sure your motherboard has RGB headers (the thingy on the motherboard where you plug the fan's LED lights into). most motherboards will only have two-ish RGB headers so if you're going to buy a bunch of fans make sure they come with a fan hub, which lets you plug them all into one header on the motherboard. also, never sacrifice performance for RGB. specifically when it comes to GPUs. if you have a choice between a GPU with RGB and a GPU without RGB, always take the one that has better performance (given it's within the parameters i mentioned earlier).

that's all i have to say :) if you couldn't tell i really love this stuff. i will also recommend you watch youtube videos about this, you can see the build process and the reasoning for using each component, and also tips on what to do and what not to do. i hope this helps and wasn't too confusing. i know you said this is mainly because you got an oculus quest 2 but if you're going to get a gaming pc you should definitely consider games outside of the oculus too.

[viktoriakomova]

idk i feel kind of conflicted about the whole issue of national team coaches (chow specifically, bc of recent discussion over him) not wanting to allow marta to be an abusive psycho toward their gymnasts but not standing up to her.... i want to draw a hard line and say “anybody who won’t say no to someone acting that way toward the children theyre responsible for is complicit” but i dont think its that simple in a system like this where the gymnasts appeal to marta’s authority to even be given the opportunity to compete internationally. i think its good that he shielded them from her as much as he could (although i dont think it was defensible that he allowed gowey’s asthma attack near-death experience to happen AT ALL, like if theres a time you should discard any fucks you have to give about what marta thinks it should be then, wtf?!) but the athletes are there because they want to compete at the highest levels of the sport, and whether chow OR the gymnasts like it or not, they have to be in marta’s good graces to do that. i think it just gets a lot blurrier the deeper you look into it, bc it gets into things about “is a medal worth it, for the gymnast herself OR her coach OR even her parents?” i would answer a resounding NO, but clearly these gymnasts who destroy their bodies before they even graduate high school, even at the JO level (not to mention their families who bankroll that participation in such a grueling activity to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars) would say they feel it IS worth it. if they didnt, they wouldnt make it to that level to begin with.

which also gets into another thing that has been discussed a bit in the last few months, about the role parents play and their culpability in abuse gymnasts experience in the sport. im talking just about american (and presumably other anglo/commonwealth sphere countries which mostly seem to operate similarly?) gymnastics, because the way the whole system is structured in countries with centralized training systems and developed ministries of sport, etc. creates a very different environment in terms of motives to continue the sport and family involvement. but american gymnasts’ families, by the system’s design, have to devote a tremendous investment of money and time to a child’s extracurricular activity for them to get to an elite level. so if you quit your job to be a full-time gym parent and literally PAY an abusive coach six figures over the course of maaaybe 10 years (?) to traumatize your kid for her entire childhood, you are absolutely responsible. at a certain point, the sunken costs incentivize turning a blind eye to horrendous treatment, because walking away is so devastating and obviously seems like a total waste. even if you wanted to find a new coach, unless you’re lucky enough to live in a place where there are multiple elite/L10 gyms within a reasonable driving distance, switching gyms means cutting your losses on everything you built in one place and spending another huge sum of money to relocate. 

i think it would be a lot different if a gymnast’s personal coach were acting the way marta did at those national team camps, or if the coach was following marta’s lead because “she wins!”... subjecting a child to that kind of treatment on a daily basis is basically torture lol like thats what we’re looking at, at that point. and if you rationalize it by saying “but my daughter WANTS to make this dream come true and i cant just say no to her!” you are an accomplice in your child’s abuse, regardless of your intentions or motives. but i think its different, in a way, for a personal coach who is great and tries their best to advocate for their gymnasts without pissing off the abusive people who could ruin their careers on a whim, and i think its easy to just call that cowardly behavior and wipe your hands of it. at the VERY least, chow’s gymnasts knew when they were at camps for a few days out of the month that they had someone who was in their corner and was willing to put up some kind of fight to protect them. and i think that emotional security is why his gymnasts so adamantly defend him and say he is totally blameless in the entire situation. because of the difference in treatment they seem to have externalized the camp environment and were/are painfully aware that its not business as usual, and so they recognized her for what she was instead of having a personal coach who incessantly kissed her ass giving them the message that “this is all perfectly okay and normal and healthy and i wont do anything to help you, so buck up kiddo”

[coolgirl]

Hey what's Jason's relationship with nocturna? It's the first time I've heard of her😣 and nothing on her wikia mentioned anything about Jason. She seems interesting character and I would like to know more about her.

okay I went. A little insane. Here's a retelling of her pre crisis arc, long as hell  

(this part covers Batman #529 / Detective Comics #363 / Batman #530) ok for some context: it’s pre crisis, meaning this Jason was also a circus boy. He has recently lost his parents, and was taken by Bruce, but isn’t dealing with the loss well, finding himself missing his past life. PLUS Bruce isn’t allowing him to be his partner, and that has him sad as well. 

SO he wants to go back to the circus, since hes lonely and directionless etc.

NOW. ENTER NATALIA KNIGHT! Shes a villain, think.. Catwoman meets Poison Ivy? She’s a thief, but seduces men to do the stealing mostly. 

Her backstory is basically that she was an orphan living in the streets, and met who will then become his adoptive parent Charles Knight when she was 12. When she’s already an adult, Charles gets killed, and she finds out he had big money bags bc he was a criminal. and she said. awn man i like being rich. well. time to do crimes.

she’s rlly into the night and the stars (she was the head of the observatory, which Bruce was funding through his company or w/e)

anyways. she gets away, Jason helps bruce find her (but! bruce wouldnt le him help which rlly hurt jason), and as her and her partner anton are getting away (again) batman catches up to them, but only manages to bring anton to justice, while Nocturna escapes in like. one of those giant balloons idk whats the name

the issue ends with Nocturna/Natalia sending Bruce money for the maintenance of the observatory and with Jason deciding to leave

NOW onto the next part. So in this issue we have Jason escaping home, Bruce going to court against Natalia’s partner Anton, and Natalia just vibing around, and she happens to find Jason running away from home, and they have a conversation in which she tries to convince him to go back home.

but Jason. well.

So Bruce gets back home and Alfred tells him about Jason running away, and bruce, in real bruce fashion, is all like ughg i shouldve listened to him.. well lets go get him. and alfred is like. sir. do i have to remind u u arent his legal guardian yet. u have no right to decide where he stays.

so bruce is like ugh fine. i’ll go patrol then. which he does, and turns out Nocturna was trying to help Anton escape, and well it fails, and she gets captured too. 

and that’s that for Natalia… for now ;)

NOW. this isn’t relevant for Natalia & Jason but again some context. Covers um  covers fuck a bunch of issues. SO. what happens in this time

jason goes back to the circus but is deeply unhappy

he’s still doing detective work. hasnt seen bruce or alfred in a while

alfred visits

case stuff case stuff case stuff it was the clown all along

Jason ends up helping Bruce, since they were both working the same case separately, and they make up

NOW. a lot of shit happens not relevant to nocturna. Jason isnt robin for a while, then he uses Dicks costume, then bruce gets mad at him for that bc its not his costume, so jason uses his own costume, then dick gives him the robin costume, so jason becomes robin. um stuff stuff happens and all it matters is the panel below.

NOW! BACK TO NOCTURNA! 

her comeback arc kinda starts in batman #374, where this lady is like hold on.. bruce wayne isnt jasons legal guardian wtf, is he even fit to have a kid?

so she starts digging around, asking questions 

and shes like yea this is real fishy, give me that kid

so bruce and jason try to behave like uh yes no robin and batman business. let that kid be a kid.

but welp.

and so.. Jason is taken away :( and both of them are heartbroken :( 

but u know what! bruce wayne is one stubborn fucker! and he will fight to have the legal guardianship!

and even if they’re not living together anyomre they’re still the dynamic duo in a way, which like. lol. this lady took this kid away bc she was worried about him but he still ran away.. tch tch tch.

they’re both rlly depressed about the situation

AND THATS WHAT U MISSED ON GLEE!!

NOW. SHES BACK. look at this epic cover

shes now parterning w a dude named nightshade or smth, and he like. rlly wants to hit that, but shes like um pause ⏸️✋my love is the night. the dude, like every other man, is like so im not getting anything from this? fuck u, and leaves. shes like whatevers, ugh how annoying i dont have a partner again & anton is still in prison… &  while shes again chilling she finds out about Bruce trying to legally adopt jason & recognizes jason from the time they talked

& goes to visit him

and theres also this dude, whos not rlly relevant for now, will try to stop bruce from adopting jason which will be relevant later hehe (there's a whole subplot with him and bullock but like it's not rlly relevant to Jason n Natalia) (shrug emoji)

and so. Bruce finds out..

and so the cover becomes a reality, Bruce and Natalia WILL fight in a chuck n cheese parking lot to become Jason’s parent.. and Natalia may try to pull a reverse card on Bruce

and well. Bruce rlly has no chance now does he? and turns out Jason wants this to happen since hes convinced he can unreveal Natalia’s secrets from the inside

and a lil sweet moment between father & son

and then a moment with Amanda, who, in my opinion, did nothing wrong ever

meanwhile Anton comes back, tells Nocturna he killed the dude that was bothering her, and she gets PISSSSEDD OFF shes like u TARNISHED the night by SPILLING BLOOD, u absolute BEAST, Bruce gets there, some weird stuff happens that aged rlly poorly, then Nocturna stabs Anton to save Bruce, turns out she knows hes batman, again shes like marry me to have our son (Jason) and hes like no! and leaves. While Bruce tries to find Anton, Jason is like ive HAD IT i wanna go out, but Natalia stops him

then the next morning Amanda gets her head straight and talks to Jason

but well Jason is hellbent on exposing Natalia from the inside or w/e, and eventually she gets the custody, even if Amanda tries to convince him and the judge Bruce is a better choice (since she noticed Jason clearly favors him and was in pain when he wasnt at the wayne manor)

and everyone is coddling Bruce which im adding bc its cute and i miss this relationship Bruce had with Vicki and Julia 

MEANWHILE, at the knight house. mad hatter is a a weird creepy rat bastard n tries to get control of Natalia & get the information of her brain or smth. Batman gets there & we get a Batman vs Controlled nocturna fight and then Robin also arrives and its Batman & Robin vs Nocturna, but B tells Jason to focus on getting Mad Hatter, which he does and then gets Nocturna back to normal whatever, and she again asks Bruce to marry her, which hes again like no thank u! the issue ends with this page which is rlly sweet imo

next up Anton is back but it doesnt matter rlly. a woman is tending to him, n because shes blind hes like. im batman. yeah. and she believes it. 

AND then Jason is formally adopted by Natalia

Jason is still trying to find proof that shes evil, and they share a moment. 

but jason is like. gotta fight crime! and so Natalia is like well i tried. wanna go be robin a bit?

Batman & Robin go after mad hatter, and then Nocturna joins them bc shes epic

and takes jay home bc its a school night smh

Natalia & Jason spend some time together but Jason still doesn’t warm up to Natalia which like. makes sense since shes a villain and all that, but she tries nevertheless

and then everyones most hated bitch comes back (Yes, anton) n he attacks Natalia, and then Jason when he hears the ruckus and goes to help

but gets a chop

but! Bruce was just on his way to visit them so 

fight fight bruce gets shot in the head n gets amnesia and thinks the dude anton shot & killed was him

Anton swaps their costumes n makes Bruce believe that Anton is batman not him? or smth

afterwards Jason blames himself

and him & Natalia team up to find Bruce which includes.. carrying a corpse around

for three days (well. nights) anton just runs around stealing n shit dressed as batman, n bruce is. literally chilling on a rooftop. alfred is losing his mind bc !? jason hasnt contacted him!? about what happened!? but Julia comes home and comforts him

gotham is a lil in chaos with gordon vicki vale n bullock being suspicious, and the girl who was helping anton finds the stuff he stole and realizes hes not batman.

on the fourth night Jason n Natalia find Anton

n they fight him

but Anton gets the upper hand w Nocturna so Jason jumps in to defend her

and then Nocturna defends Jason bc thats his baby

but Anton doesnt get like. killed w that ofc, and hes like fuck u i’ll kill u one day but when the kid isnt here and after batman has fallen, bye (throws jason from building)

and Natalia reagroup n well.. some things are said

bc like even if Nocturna is helping shes a villain.. right? (thinking emoji)

meanwhile Bruce finally got his mind back. not important. who cares. the lady who was helping Anton goes to the police to tell them about Anton/fake batman dun dun dun. but Anton finds out and knocks out the policeman who went w the girl (Tina!) to check for proof n shit.

and guess whos back! amanda!

back to new dynamic duo

so Jason the little rascal (can i say hes a rascal when hes doing the hero thing n trying to expose a criminal?) goes looking for proof that Natalia is Nocturna n stuff, and finds some stolen things

1. singsonging.. hes such a little shit lmaoo, 2. she was worried… pause…

anyways. they have a confrontation 

in which Natalia swears shes reformed, but Jason doesnt buy it, and is like. im gonna get gordon! and Natalia is like.. do what u think is best

but. he can’t do it..

n hes like. well shes not bad anymore.. i wish i could go back to bruce without sending her to prison which… please development..  n natalia DOES want his love..

AND THEN! BRUCE IS BACK! and he teams up with Nocturna to find Anton, but its just their luck Amanda sees them

they do sm stuff not relevant and then Bruce is like go back to ur son now, and Natalia is like.. OUR son :)

well whatever whatever they get Anton, Bruce goes back to being Batman, they clear his reputation, Jason goes back to the manor since Amanda saw Natalia, etc

(he munches he crunches) also im gonna add this that isnt relevant bc its just so funny, buenos dias alfred

anyways stuff hapens, like idk 14 issues without nocturna, the most important bit that happened is that selina is back. which she was gone. yeah. but shes back and around.

ANYWAYS! 15 issues later! shes back! some dudes entered her old observatory n were vandalizing and she was like hold up

meanwhile we have Jason calling amanda bc he well.. misses his mom and as much as he loves bruce and hes his dad its not the same for some reason

jason in every universe: i miss my mom i want my mom :(

at school Jason overheards some kids talking about Natalia in the observatory

Jason goes looking for Natalia n turns out Bullock was also trying to see what was happening in the observatory, so they kinda team up for two whole panels to find her

but Jason is like im not telling u shit.. n goes w Natalia on his own

google always taking pics

n they share a moment ;_____;

n theyre reunited.. now ur gonna have to excuse me bc i didnt download the high quality of the next tec issues n all the download links are sadly broken

but… what about natalia?

then bullock finds them

well bullock lets her go n while retelling the stuff to gordon he has.. a theory

meanwhile Nocturna.. well Nocturna is back at it again, taking charge of a band of thieves.. sigh. 

anyways, they talk, theres something weird happening w the sky that may mean the world is ending or smth, and they make up AND make out

n they have a talk thats basically like. what now? should we be together? well depends if ur still gonna steal. i need funds to get the observatory back in track (HELLO BRUCE IS RICH HE COULD PAY IT..) and hes like oh so ur gonna be a thief again.. and shes like well havent u noticed im only stealing from corrupt rich politicians!? (QUEEN) n theres this gorgeous shot

n then they go their separate ways bc its fucking batman

anyways. Selina was also investigating the group of thieves (that were like black masks old gang but he was sent to prison so Nocturna took over etc) and she sees Nocturna leaving and follows her to the Observatory but.. Jason is there too

Selina wants her GOOOONE she needs to clear her name but Jason is like. over my dead body

n well ……. the girls are fightinggggggggggggggggggggggggg

but Bruce intercepts

n now Batman n Catwoman fight and its like the girls are fightingggggg… 2! but doesnt matter look at them

and then Selina gets struck by lightning

n then theres a earthquake bc god what a damn comic, and the observatory collapses, and Natalia is trapped inside

anyways Selina is in the hospital, Anton is still killing people and knows where she is and is trying to get to her, and this little scene happens with Jason n B

n while Bruce stays with Selina Jason goes to find Natalia which is so funny like. she went to Natalia, his mom, when Bruce told him to go home and well– we al know that story.

n now its a race to get to Natalia before Anton gets to her

n its rlly sad bc like Natalia is ready to die

n 

but both Bruce n Jason are trying to reach her

and here comes Jason!

AND LIKE. the fact she wants to live after all bc of Jason rlly makes me emotional not gonna lie! not gonna lie!

and no offense but a mother’s love………………………………….. no thoughts head empty

first of all i hate anton so fucking much. secondly here comes batdad..

n Jason tries to help Natalia escape and then get back to Bruce who is getting his ass kinda kicked

guess whos coming in that helicopter.. selina freaking kyle.. the legend.. and she helps Bruce with Anton. 

I REALLY DONT GET THIS TBH LIKE. he puts her into the giant balloon so she can get away but like shes hurt buddy shes gonna die up there.. 

and. shes gone.

n Jason is absolutely devastated

n like. Bruce. as always. is like ok champ i see u got it in control, lmk when u wanna go home

LIKE HES SO SAD.. OF COURSE HES SAD THAT WAS HIS MOM....

And thats. pretty much it. Natalia is gone. 

However Jason still grieves her, and when Bruce and Selina are trying to get back together and... hes not a big fan of their relationship.. at all. But bruce tries to pair them up so they can become at least friends, since he loves them both and doesnt want to like. pick between his son and his lover

and they make a fine team, even if Jason grieving Natalia and how Selina doesnt want to take her place is brought up a couple times :(

and it gives it a bittersweet ending to the arc

and well. thats it. thats the Jason and Natalia dynamic.

Natalia reappers later post crisis but well w/o her connection to Jason.. and i really dont wanna talk about the version of her that appears in batwoman comics LOL.  

conclusion: natalia was a bad lady, who at first wanted to use jason to get money from bruce, but then she had a change of heart, and development and became a kind of anti hero? well not antihero just.. she was trying her best man. i wish she hadnt disappeared like she couldve stayed relevant to jasons story without having to be romantically with bruce? bc if u read her comics u can see that she was killed off/voided for batcat to comeback which... typical batcat! anyways. i think she genuinely loved and cared for jason and that jason loved her and cared for her right back :( 

[toshisae]

call me baby

summary: in which chenle gives you the entire world in exchange for some love

genre: crack, fluff and another pinch of angst 

theme: ceo!chenle (sugardaddy au but without the sexy shit its just he buys you things in exchange for you loving him ok? ok) 

word count: 2.8k

author’s note: HIIIII ITS BEEN A LONG ASS TIME SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING SO HERES THIS also theres no sexy time unless the sexy time u want is going on an endless shopping spree then this fic is for u!! its just another crack idea i had lol and this is just to get rid of writers block or smth despite having this in my drafts for the longest time

–

you know how people say not to chat with random strangers from the internet?

because it’s terrifying and shit??

well you never listened 

here you are on a friday night on your phone

looking for some 40 year olds to troll

on this sugar daddy app you randomly found one day

not like you needed money or whatever

you lived with your brother jaemin who’s a doctor

so i guess you could say u’re: $$$$

and it’s just that you have nothing to do

what’t the worst that could happen right?

ding!

your phone vibrates in your hand

it looks like you’ve matched with your designated sugar daddy

“congratulations! you’ve matched with 6chittaphon9”

you looked at his profile and saw that he’s a 23 year old dancer

not up for it, you swiped left

“give me the good shit bro” - you tell the phone

you clicked the globe icon on the bottom of the screen

it switched you to a radar where it scans for possible sugardaddies who use the app

a little later your phone dings again

“congratulations! you’ve matched with zhong$”

and when you clicked on his profile,,

you let out a big big gasp 

he’s a 18 year old ..

looking for.. sugar babies??

if you were drinking something then you would’ve spat out that liquid real quick

you swiped to the right and sent this dude a message

“hi”

ok so chenle right

chenle is the youngest billionaire in the world

bye kylie jenner oof

after his father’s passing, his company, zhongs inc. was in his hands

his father’s last wish was to have chenle get married at a young age

but chenle obviously didn’t like that idea

he wanted to experience a normal teenage life where he parties, drinks, date some random girls or whatever a pesky teenager does

so he found himself downloading a sugarbaby app

also just for the lolz like c’mon this is chenle the king of clownery

the c in chenle means clownery wbk

he had the money, the looks, almost anything you need for a man

so he quickly made his account

and not a minute later he already matched with someone named ‘<y/n3’

he sees that this y/n person already sent him a message

so obviously he replies

“hello”

you: asl?

chenle: 17 / m / seoul; u?

you: same except im a female

chenle: well ain’t that obvious

on the outside you bursted out laughing

you: ok capt. crunch so would you like telling me your name or is it confidential

chenle: i mean, i guess its kinda confidential but the company wont know anyway but im zhong chenle 

you: ????? are u important or sumn

chenle couldn’t believe his eyes

chenle: um.. im ZHONG chenle

you: whats so special with your name

chenle was actually quite glad you dont know about his name or his background

chenle: nothing so wyd

it didn’t take awhile for you two to get along 

since you two had the same type of humor and age

you: why are you on this app tho if you are “young and rich”

chenle: i could ask you the same question

you: its friday my dude and im bored 

chenle: well,,,,,,,,,,, idk my friend recommended it to me

you: you’re friends with a bunch of old people?

chenle: nO I MEAN YES?? I MEAN NO 

you: ... are u fucking with me

chenle: no i’m not fucking with you, im talking to u :D 

in the end chenle asks you if it was okay that he’ll send you some money for fun

chenle: yk this app is about sugardaddies looking for sugarbabies right so lets make the most of it and give me your paypal or venmo and ill send you some cash for talking to me <3 

you: wtf chenle no its fine!!! i had lots of fun talking to you and this app is just a whole ass joke but im glad i met a new friend here but its okay dont send me some money !!!!!

chenle: nooo think of it like i’m treating you out for some dinner so please allow me 

you: still ! i wont let you,, till i get to see you so i know youre not some 40 year old i still think you are

chenle: how many times do i have to tell you im really 18 years old ffs but sure, when are you free?

on the inside youre just like: ASJDHJHDUIADHASJKDAHAHD WHAT THE FUCK

you: uhh i have school so i’m always busy hehehe

chenle: then i’ll see you in your school, what school do you go to?

this kid doesnt know when to give up

you: hhhhhhh i guess then i’m free tomorrow 

chenle: GREAT! I’LL SEE YOU ON HONGDAE here’s my number boo

and there you have it

your first unofficial meet up with zhong chenle himself

you were too much in thought about meeting him you didnt even notice jaemin standing there with pizza in his hands

“what are you staring at sis?” - jaems

“uh nothing” you snatched the pizza from his hands

fast forward to tomorrow

you were getting nervous to meet chenle

“hey where are you going?” jaemin takes a peek of you in your room

can he stop scaring you like that

“going out” - u 

“going where?” - jaems

“hongdae”

“cuteee do you have a date today?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you

“no-”

“are you going out with that pizza delivery boy?!” jaemin suddenly gushes

“jeno?” you ask him

“yeah that one” - jaemin

“no, i’m just gonna go shopping” you brush him off

jaemin shrugs and gives you some pocket money to spend

“be safe and have fun” he closes the door of your room

after safely arriving in hongdae, you sat somewhere thats not that crowded

who knows if this chenle person is famous right

so there you were waiting for him to text you or something

and just like that, your phone rings

it was an unknown number

but you answer anyway

“hello this is chenle, may i ask if you are in gongcha right now?” 

you looked around the people who’s passing by hoping to see someone fancy looking holding their phones

suddenly someone stops right in front of you

“found you” 

with that, chenle hangs up and sits across the table from you

“hi, i’m chenle” he gives his hand out for you to shake

and man, you were shookt

he looks like an ordinary teenager 

or a hypebeast for this occasion 

“o-oh .. h-hello” you bow

chenle suddenly laughs at your reaction 

his laugh is beautiful 

“don’t be nervous baby, i mean no harm” he smiles

his smile that totally made your heart melt

“how could i not? you’re the youngest billionaire out here” you gushed

chenle shushes you after the billionaire part

“sorry about that, it’s just i don’t like it when people tell me that” he tells you casually

ok humble king

“have you ordered yet? if not let’s order right now, on me” he grabs his wallet from his pocket and heads inside gongcha

after taking your orders, you two sat outside again with your drinks

“so y/n.. tell me about yourself” chenle takes a sip of his drink

“well, like i told you last night, i’m a student in college and i live with my brother who’s a doctor and that’s about it.. what about you, mr. zhong” you giggled

“first of all, don’t call me mr. zhong. you can call me lele instead and i love music and i like to play the piano and sometimes i sing” he shares, showing off his pearly whites

and after some many more conversations with him, he finally asks you an important question

“ok last question” he laughs, “i know it’s kinda weird but i really like your company and i know we met through a sugar daddy/sugar baby app but would you like.. stay with me..?” he asks cautiously

you stared at him with wide eyes

“i’ll pay for everything you want.. just,, stay or keep me company..?”

you kept quiet, just in shock on what just happened

“it’s okay if you don’t want to, just forget that i asked” he laughs awkwardly

“no it’s okay, i’ll keep you company but please please don’t pay for everything. i can pay for myself” you tell him

“why not? i got money, i can spoil you with gifts” he looks at you confused

“if you can’t remember, i’ve got a brother who’s a doctor and i guess we’re loaded too you know” you roll your eyes at him

“pfft okay then so.. where were we” 

and with that you guys carry on your conversation 

months has passed and you’ve been with chenle through everything

every time something happened in his company, you were there comforting him or just keeping him sane through out everything

and within those months, you’ve seen different sides of him as well

like the serious side of him– when he’s in business meeting and you’re his plus one 

aside from his secretary of course

the funny side of him– when he’s cracking jokes to literally everyone

sometimes he takes days off in the midst of his own company just to pull pranks on his secretary, renjun

and of course, his vulnerable side– when he feels he can’t do what his father left him, the family legacy

there were night where you had to stay over at his place just to make him calm down or just to make sure he’s sleeping or eating well 

and tonight was those vulnerable nights of chenle

here you were in his room, on the floor holding his hand as he rants about how his day turned to shit 

“it’s just so.. hard you know?” he opens up, “when everyone expects you to follow a certain life but i’m not all about that business shit life! i want to sing or fucking play the piano or do some teenager shit not this paper work life!” his voice cracks at the end of his sentence

“ah shit i’m crying in front of you again” he laughs, wiping the tears 

you don’t say anything but held his hand tighter

“thanks y/n.. you’re the best” he smiles down at you

“anything for you, chenle. that’s why i’m here for you right? to keep you company” you smile back

“can you.. come up here with me” chenle motions for you to sit beside him on the bed

you agree and climbed up

chenle sits up awkwardly, staring at you.

“woah this is the first time i had a girl on my bed” he giggles

“then i’m honoured” you laugh

suddenly your phone vibrates multiple times

you take a look and its your brother looking for you

“who is it?” chenle asks

“it’s my brother, he said i should go home” you slowly push yourself from his comfy bed

“no, it’s late. i’ll take you home first thing in the morning” 

“i don’t want to be a burden to you lele” you say shyly

“you’re never a burden to me y/n” chenle smiles again

that night, you slept in his very arms for the first time

you wake up earlier that him and decided to prepare breakfast for him

you set the eggs and bacon on the table with orange juice

you smiled at your efforts, hoping he’d like it

chenle woke up in distraught since you were no where in sight

he was in his pajama pants and he rushed downstairs to check if you were still there

and thankfully, you were

you were on the dining table, waiting for him with breakfast ready

“good morning” he grins, face looking brighter than ever

you smile back at him, “good morning to you too, sleepyhead. help yourself with some breakfast”

chenle takes a seat and sips on the orange juice next to him, “did you make this?” he asks

you nod, “for you” 

you could’ve swore you saw him blush for a moment there 

and with that, you two ate in peace, just enjoying each other’s company

a few days later

you couldn’t make it to chenle’s office since you had classes and it was exam week 

chenle was obviously very lonely that week

even his own secretary checked up on him cause he was awfully quiet ever since you came into his life

“so how are you and y/n huh” renjun casually asks chenle who was busy reading papers on the table

“we’re doing great” chenle replies nonchalantly 

“are you two going steady now?”

that question made chenle halt to a stop on what he was doing

renjun notices that chenle turned quiet

“i never asked her to be official” chenle gasps, scaring renjun in the process

“wha-”

“renjun hyung can you get me the biggest bouquet bundle you can find” chenle rushes

renjun nods and grabs his ipad, looking for what chenle requested

“fuck.. what did y/n wanted again” chenle asks himself, trying to remember the bag or things you told him about

“call jisung and tell him we’re going to the mall” chenle tells renjun yet again, rushing to the elevator so he could go to the mall with his best buddy

“so what are we buying your special someone again?” jisung asks chenle who was busy pacing around the mall

“y/n said she wanted a bag but i cant remember what was it” chenle tells jisung who just looks as lost as he was

chenle ended up going to every luxury store they had in the mall

like louis vitton, gucci, prada, balenciaga, fendi

you name it he went there and bought one bag each

he even went to some make up stores thanks to jisung’s suggestion

surprisingly he had a girlfriend who was a makeup artist and puts make up on jisung’s face when they have nothing to do

and of course, chenle followed what his best friend suggested

now they were on their way back to your place cause you just texted chenle that you were almost done with your exam

chenle and jisung unload his car and went straight up to your apartment that you shared with your brother

and your brother answers the door

“uh chenle? what are you doing here?” jaemin answers the door

chenle stood there in shock once again, “jaemin hyung? you’re y/n’s brother?” he stares at jaemin confused.

jaemin nods slowly before realization hits him, “you’re the person y/n is seeing?!” 

chenle nods uncertainly, slightly offended you never told jaemin about him but quickly shrugs it off. 

“well surprise! now can you help us with this? i’m asking y/n to be my girlfriend when she arrives home” 

jaemin immediately steps in and helps the two boys

after an hour or so, everything is now set into place

now they were just waiting for you to arrive

chenle stood there with his usual work attire which was a formal suit, holding a big ass bouquet and the paper bags right behind him

“jisung how do i look?!” chenle looks at jisung who was showing him two thumbs up

“dashing bro, she’ll say yes in no time”

and as if on cue, you walked in

and to say you were shocked to see chenle standing there 

“lele! what are you doing here?” you covered your mouth in shock as you saw the never ending line of paper bags right behind him and the bouquet he was holding

“i’m here to ask you to be mine” he replies, staring at you once again

“does my brother know you’re here?” you look around your living room and you spot jaemin in the kitchen, watching the entire thing go down

“yeah. why didn’t you tell me he was your brother” chenle pouts, but shakes his head as he hands you the bouquet

chenle clears his throat once again, “na y/n.. would you be my first and last girlfriend?” he closes his eyes tight, waiting for your response

“i would be honoured” you take the bouquet off his hands and jumped into his arms

“about time you asked her” jisung comments in the background

“baby look, i got you some gifts!” chenle puts you down and shows you the abundant amount of things he got you

you smacked him in the chest, “what did i say about you giving me expensive gifts!” 

“let me spoil you, please? you showed me how loving someone wholeheartedly is priceless, and i want to return the favor in my own way” chenle shows you his infamous puppy eyes.

“lele you’re making me cry!” you tear up, hidng your face in his neck

“also because i can’t remember the thing you told me you wanted a few days ago so i had to compromise” chenle giggles

you were happy

and he was happy

who knew an app could bring you two together and end up like this

the end!

[welcometotheocverse]

🌟 for Elliot pls?

:D aaaah! I’ve had him in the brain a lot lately okay sorry this got long And also im rewatching rn so its sorta season 1ish.

Elliot is Rory’s younger twin. He was given Christopher’s middle name. He’s mostly grateful it was the middle name.

He and Rory are super close. It was just the two of them ( and then Lane) The Twins That Read A Lot. Because they had each other they didn’t have much incentive to make friends outside of each other ( Elliot more than Rory) and extrapolating from the Pilot where Rory doesn’t seem like she has a lot of friends ( or any sans Lane) and is lowkey scoffed at for reading the assignment I’m gonna go with “other kids weren’t that keen on making friends with them either”

Rory’s the talkative one, he’s the quiet one. This is a bit of Rory also being protective of him/noticing when he looks overwhelmed and just...talking up a storm as is her wont and subtly getting attention away from Elliot. For a lot of the early season they’re not seen one without the other ( keeping in mind their arch is to learn it’s okay to have different dreams and even go different places ) 

Sorta shy and a bit more introverted than Rory. Once you become his friend however he pretty much would die for you and his face absolutely lights up when he sees you as opposed to his usual reserved nature and he talks to you albeit not as much as his twin ( unless hes super excited or talking about something he finds interesting then the resemblance kicks in lmao but thats the exception)  its like a switch ( seen with Rory, Luke, and Lane in canon and Sophie/Paige in their xover)

Likes hanging out at Luke’s. They both sorta enjoy... being quiet around each other. Elliot thinks he has a really calming vibe …when Taylor’s not there.

Ms Kim doesn’t like him because he’s a boy so he’s not allowed at Lane’s like Rory is ( honestly the feeling’s mutual bc “I’m pretty  sure locking you up for days and keeping you from school falls under child abuse also wtf” and lowkey the girls are like “lets just keep you not in the house” Lane might be closer to Rory but they still talk music together. She’s part of the reason his music taste actually started deviating  from  Lorelai’s and Rory’s.)

He doesn’t like unfair treatment of other people. It really gets to him. Examples are Ms. Kim to Lane and his grandparents and father to his mom. Later examples are Mitchum Huntzberger, and Marty. ( he’s pretty unimpressed with Marty and how his feelings for Rory make him act in general tbh but what he does with Lucy is just...it really bothers him he’s adamant that  Rory should tell Lucy the truth.)

Highkey  he has about zero patience for bad/toxic parents partly bc of his own feelings about Christopher and to an extent his grandparents that he keeps minimizing so they get projected on...everyone else with bad parents lol.

 Logan’s still a bit amazed that this shy soft spoken kid he met in his junior year went off like “He’s not your fucking property” when Mitchum went on his “You’re available when i say you’re available” tirade ( Elliot was ngl intimidated/scared of Mitchum who pretty much went “Who the hell are you??!” but Logan’s his friend and that wasn’t okay and he kept eye contact with the asshole until Logan diverted his attention back to him/the fight they were having and made sure he at least told Logan afterwards because “but he shouldn’t..” and “he shouldn’t have” and “No! No..it’s not Okay. “)

But also like constantly “it’s not a big deal” when it comes to his aforementioned feelings about Christopher and pretty much anything he might be angry about. 

Lowkey spends a lot of time Rory goes through relationship drama between “????” and “wowww dodged a bullet” Rory throws pillows at him for the latter because “If I’m gonna rant at you El, you could at least give me sympathy.”

He does have some insecurities about his orientation born out of just..f.eeling othered due to isolation and also some stuff he’s heard his dad say.

He figures out he’s asexual before he figures out he’s aromantic and has to deal with a lot of “Are you sure?” and “is that..is that normal?” from some townsfolks before he figures out Luke can scare them off and he lowkey spends a lot of time at the dinner during this time. Luke smiles at him and gives him muffins tho he’ll deny deny deny if you mention it.

A bit more sensitive than Rory like on the pilot episode when he notices Lorelai is worried about Chilton/having to ask her parents for money he stops at the base of the stairs and asks “is...everything okay mom?” and is kinda just in tune with how the people he cares about are feeling/picks up on things like that.

He...doesn’t super like his grandparents because of how they treat his mother.  Emily already made him a bit anxious because of her passive  aggressive nature ( he’s giving me some anxiety vibes tbh) and the fact that he thought the fact that his mom kept them away sorta ominous.  A lot of season 1 is him looking down at his plate and tensing with every “your mother’s golf clubs are in the attic along with the rest of her potential” and Richard’s “he ( Christopher) always was a smart one that  boy, you two must take after  him” and “as a maid with all your brains and talents” and it sorta...yeah he spends a lot of time looking at his plate and swallowing resentment. There are times where it gets better but overall he’s never completely at ease around them. He’s very quiet but civil around them even as he grows some affection and builds bridges with them along Lorelai and Rory. And I haven’t even figured out the fallout with the thing they pull at the wedding.

Emily at least once asked off handedly why Elliot wasn’t seeing anyone and I’m still figuring out if she says something like “that’s not normal” before Lorelai or Rory intervene.

(( Full disclosure Emily reminds me a bit too much of my own relationship with my mom and its really hard to write her favorably though I at least try to be fair. So Elliot is sometimes  a bit harsh on her and very in Lorelai’s corner when Emily and Richard are...less than nice. ))

Sort of a mamma’s boy. Rory and Lorelai have their special connection but so do Elliot and Lorelai. Rory was a bit more extroverted and would play/hang out with Lane while Elliot was perfectly content as a babie curling up with his mom and reading. It worried Lorelai a bit, how hard it was for him to reach out ( she never had that moment she had with Rory and Lane of “my kid has a friend” with him) but he always had Rory yknow so she calmed herself with that. Sometimes when Rory’s with Lane he’ll hang out at the Inn and work there. He somehow got in to Michel’s good graces ( “because you are quiet and unobtrusive”  and got him to teach him French 

Very tactile. When he’s getting nervous Rory will reach out and grab his hand or Lore will put her hands on his shoulder and he’ll calm down. He does the same when wanting to comfort friends or just wanting to show affection ( will lean on Finn and Colin a lot as he gets closer to them or accept that they’ll just throw an arm around him)

Meeting the LAD bridgade kids makes social events with his grandparents so much easier like ohmygod subparties with Logan Colin Finn and Rory  become lifesavers. ( its not so much the drinking as having someone you can laugh with while dodging your grandparents friends and the girl they told to look for you yknow)

He has more resentment towards Christopher than his sister and doesn’t see him with the rose colored glasses Rory sees him in their younger years. His absence hurts him a lot. He hides it well and is nice enough towards him because he loves Lorelai and Rory and wants them to be happy/have a good time but if you catch him on a bad day you might get a rant about how little Christopher knows about them and how little he was there  and “he just drops by, spends like a day with us and leaves yknow...it’s...and we’re supposed to be happy???” and the fact that he doesn’t wanna tell Rory or Lorelai bc he thinks it’ll upset them just  sorta...makes it worse.

And then at some point  Christopher pops off with “and how long are you gonna entertain this phase of his Lore, a boy his age should be dating” and while Rory’s making angry noises and Lorelai’s saying “Outside. Now” ( though they don’t know the twins are listening) he just gets...this thin unsurprised smile and...yeah it’s not great. 

Very supportive of people he loves. He’s constantly telling Rory through the Chilton years that she’s smart enough, more than smart enough to get through this and helps her study. He makes sure he tells Lorelai he loves her or hugs her if he can tell the dinners are a bit hard on her. Honestly a total cream puff. The resentment for his grandparents and father is mostly buried and comes out like when he’s upset/they do something that provokes it. Mostly he’s a really soft boy and kinda soft spoken, loves reading about science and space ( he balances out Rory’s preference for literature and history though they both like poetry and Elliot occasionally reads prose as Rory lets him infodump sometimes about science journals) and loves his friends so so dearly. Will get angry a la Beware The Nice Ones if you hurt them though the first thing he’ll do is comfort them/try to cheer them up.

He loves Stars Hollow but being the only aroace person he knows of there ( and fielding well intentioned “are you sures?” and “oh honey you’ll find someone someday”s and just..alot of early 2000s Star Hollow-ness ( “Hey kiddo you gonna bid on a basket this year?” “oh you’re getting handsome, gonna find yourself a girl for the starlight festival?” “is he..youknow?” is just...a lot? He wants to spread his wings and find his place/people like him/feel less isolated.

He still loves his town though as its his home and raised him his sister and in a way his mother. He visits while he’s at Yale ( the distance helps tremendously as does the ability to just...leave again) like Rory and says hi to Miss Patty and Gypsy and Andrew ( he loves Andrew omg. One of the few people who didn’t just assume he and Rory were always reading the same books) He helps the 30-Something gang find jobs/fine tune resumes  though im not including anything else form ayit and checks in how they’re doing bc..its still his town. They’re his family. “my nuts-o, extended...well meaning but sometimes overly invested and too-pushy-and-slightly-overbearing family.” even as he dreams of getting out a lot and once he does he...really likes it. He loves them

He goes to Yale because Rory goes to Yale (because again the whole Learning To Be Independent From Your Twin...kind of a slow process for him) and gets sibling-adopted by Finn and Colin  in a turn of events he’s pretty much confused over like im p sure they were like “hes ours now” and Elliot was like “im ...you’re...w..what?” and Logan who Knows Finn and Colin is like “don’t fight it” and lowkey adopted him too.

Im cutting myself off bc this got Long and im sorry lol

Thank you so much for the ask <3

send me a ✨ and i’ll tell you about a random OC

[mydiaryx]

ketmine diary entry

Fucing hell, what am I thinking, well, it was deffo a weird idea getting on the k for a diary entry, and listening to lean too wtf, depressing. I want to take those benzos so bad.

Im actually sad I can’t go and chill In uni next week now. Its just gonna be a weekend of working, and now my nails are too long, I hate this feeling of being like home alone, but  not home alone, I just feel like I should be doing something all the time. I hate being in the house, its not even like I hate being with my family, I enjoy the time I spend with them, im just having this weird existential dread but acceptance of the dread. I just sort of flow through life, the less anxious the better, I do love my friends, but they can give me a hard time sometimes, I feel like I can’t please everyone. I always feel guilty in some way for the way I am. This ket feels good but I feel like this isn’t a good thing. I need to get some benzos from Enrika. I need to stop being anxious, fireworks, I would like a little more k, I would really like a benzo. I shouldn’t really, im sure geo would know because there was 2 left in the pack. What am I writing about, I feel like my life has changed so much in like the past month, also I should ask geo what he thinks about meeting me in London on sat, will just be annoying for me with like a big bag of stuff, ill just try take like nothing tho, like ill actually try and pack so light lol, its annoying tho cuz its winter its like what can I wear, maybe I should get more inspired.

I should be able to be alone with my mind, this is what I struggle with, is this like a weird therapy session lol ?? Im really not sure, it does feel good to get my thoughts out, isn’t it just so weird how my life has taken the trajectory of drugs, like this is what my life is based around now, I mean, not really but slightly, its just confusing, when I can hear the blood pumping noun d my head, thats when my thoughts are most intense. I just completely forgot, last weekend, that ws really intense and horrible, I don’t really remember much, maybe its best if its kept that way, I feel as if im really uncovering something here. Like I just really was completely oblivious to what I did last weekend, what the fuck! Is that the benzos do you think, or like the comedown, im not sure. I kind of wish I didn’t uncover that tbh. How did I function so well after being so fucked up for the whole weekend, and then literally forgetting about it all week, has it been more than a week? Surely not! It was last Friday im sure, wow. Maybe I should do this in the morning, am I just going to fucking confuse myself tho? All I want to do really is just talk to myself, I can’t believe how long I really have been doing this, like how self aware I must be now. Why do I feel as if I’ve forgotten everything thsts happened like last week. I really can’t tell if Maya actually wants me around or not, this is an issue I really do have, I like her and I like to talk to her, but I feel s little used sometimes. and like the money thing, that just usually gets me a bit.

What would make me happy this weekend? Maybe a vape right now? No George fucking has the one Theo gave me !! Figs !! Although there is one literally in my coat pocket over there. See now, when I think back to when I returned home earlier, it makes me feel guilt, like I’ve wasted my time, like I had all thee things to do and I haven’t done them. Its fine tho, I can fully deal with this, I just seem to think that im not allowed to relax in here, like there’s always things to be sorting out. How do I feel about the ket wearing off, okay I suppose, I would have rather taken a benzo, if I were to post this, which I am, I do wonder if anyone would ever reach out and reply, it would be interesting. And at least I can type with these nails. Im just so confused, last night was weird too, I definably have some issues that need sorting out, maybe if I take some bentos with my friends I can spill everything. I should sort that tommorow. I do just need to do things more often, instead of not. I do wonder if Jesse and Enrika think that when they tell me about all the stuff they have been doing constantly annoys me, because I know that it would annoy them if it were the other way round. I suppose it doesn’t hurt to be on the other side of the spectrum. I could just facetime them, maybe not tonight, I hate sort of keeping quiet whilst on FaceTime. It makes me just want to FaceTime George or something.

Omg that makes me sort of remember being back at geos and trying to facemtim Dylan lol, and then I was so sad he didn’t reply. Am I still lonely, not so much I don’t think, I feel so much more loved now. However, this time that I do spend alone, I just need to not feel as if im not doing enough ect, because really it does not matter! Like maybe ill wake up early tomorrow, if I really wanted I could go on a walk, but prob not, I think ill have a shower and just try and look slay, and take a slay pic. Thats all I need to do really, oh and like water my plants, and tidy my car. Damn that podcast earlier really did have me in an existential mood, like what the frick!! Realising that nothing does really matter. I really do think that ketamine like not fucks your brain up but really jumbles things up in some way, one day will be the end of all the ketamine I take, and one day will be the last day I take drugs. But I do really think, like what happens to people like us, like we take so many drugs, how do we lead a normal life after. Who really knows. I think one reason why I got my guilty depression thing tonight wass because I'm not doing work. But it’s fine, its literally so fine. Anyway, I think im nearly done here, that was a fucking wild ride. Hopefully it actually helps me and I don’t have some kind of existential crisis lol. Oh and just one other thing, I really did think me and tara were like besties after that night, but then after like, I just can’t read her !! Its so confusing, I do wonder if I did anything that put her off, I really don’t understand like how or why lol. Maybe we will go to Italy together, that would deffo be like different, I do feel like she dent wanna go anymore tho.

Oh well, I guess we will see after the next time we drink together, I suppose that’s when we are both more confident, I do really like her, I think she reminds me of Eden that’s why lol, hopefully, I can Meet up with Eden again soon too, the stuff with her and Charlie is just so hard to believe. Oh, I do just feel like I'm not really done yet, my brain Is like telling me, to talk about your grandma, but I just really don’t want to open that can of worms in my brain. At least I did tell George the other day so he knows, I just actually fucking hate talking about it, so peak !!! Benzos are fully like truth serum tho, like I be telling everyone my shit! I feel like I'm gonna come out o this a different person. I just feel like now that I really need to move out and move on with my life, moving out would feel so weird, I suppose if it's just to a city to work it wouldn’t entirely feel like moving forever tho!! I suppose ill cross that bridge when I get to it. Anyways gonna stop talking now, or else ill never stop, bye ly xx 

[themagicaltunaa]

Answer all the questions

well i have nothing to do so sure

1. What have you eaten today? 

some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

never kissed anyone, don't really care about that

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

light grey sneakers

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday

5. What is your favorite scent?

I love the smell freshly baked goods

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.

8. What color are your nails?

the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something

10. What is something you find romantic?

i dont know romantic things 

11. Are you happy?

eh

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

no not really

13. Dogs or Cats?

cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

museum

15. What is your style?

my style is “im trying”

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

stay up all night to catch up on videos

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

single babeyyyy

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

nothing, because im not attracted to anyone

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

i dont like celebrities

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing 

23. Were you ever in a school play?

I’ve always had stage fright so no

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? 

oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety 

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I dont like sharing

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

too much to list

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

fuck if i know

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

can’t think of anything rn

31. How long was your longest relationship?

never been in one

32. Have you ever been in love?

pretty sure I have not

33. Are you currently in love?

nope

34. Why did your last relationship end?

see question 31

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid

37. Name someone pretty.

the anon that sent me this ask

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)

39. Do you get jealous easily?

no

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

no

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

sure

42. Ever had detention?

no because I was a good bean in school

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous 

44. What do people call you?

by my name

45. What was the last book you read?

I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

uhhh idk

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre

48. How tall are you?

my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2

49. Do you like kids?

they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any 

50. Favorite fruits?

watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

i hope not

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what

56. Do you save money or spend it?

i try to save it

57. What would your dream house be like?

something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

see the previous question

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

a heart?

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go

64. Do you like the beach?

It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

no? wtf does someone special mean?

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything

67. Do you talk to yourself?

in my head all the time

68. Describe your hair.

brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying

69. What is the meaning of life.

I wish i knew

70. What is your ideal partner like?

no one

71. Do you want to get married?

no

72. Do you want to have kids?

 ew no

73. Like or dislike your family?

 they’re bearable

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass

76. What would you change about your life?

everything if i could

77. Religious or Not?

no not really

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

I don’t drink so this would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

it sure isnt because no one is there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

idk

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

i’m not opening the door because no one is there

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy

84. Do you like bubble baths?

no

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

I need to drive in order for that to happen

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

not really? 

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why does god allow suffering

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

1.greece

2. peru

3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there

theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list

90. How was your day today?

it was fine

91. Play an instrument?

used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

it’s scary

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no 

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it

96. When are you vulnerable?

always

97. How much free time do you have?

doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time

98. Do you like to go hiking?

never been

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken

[chwesolai]

change up. | lee chan

inspired by change up by seventeen and grease, yes, the movie (you’ll understand why in a second don’t you worry)

university au!

nerd!chan x class clown!y/n

-

chan spent his times in his books, in his studies, in ‘always looking in the future’. he never took a break. but towards the end of his senior year of high school, his parents wanted to reward his hard work and studious efforts. it was post-finals, he finished, he got into the university he dreamed of. 

he was free, finally.

so the trip began, his family packed their bags and the road trip to Daecheon Beach from Iksan. chan and his younger brother remained silent most of the ride, chan's brother playing on his phone, occasionally showing chan the new character he unlocked.

"you're going to fry your brain because of those games," chan scoffs, lifting his head up from reading.

"you're going to become evil because of all those scary books you read."

"then, let me."

the two brothers laugh and slowly immerse themselves into their activities and as the sun sets, the two fall into a deep sleep.

four more hours later and the sun began to warm chan's face, they have arrived.

y/n's parents allowed her to pick this year's summer family vacation, her older sister picked last year and her older brother did the year before. they've been to the us, europe, japan but she just wanted to stay home. but her family just didn't allow that so she picked the beach. 

"THE BEACH? Y/N ARE YOU KIDDING?" her sister wasn't here for that, but her brother backed her up, "hey less money spending for us then. we wouldn't need to exchange money, buy flight tickets, bla bla blah."

"exactly." y/n proud of her decision.

"alright, i guess we could go visit my hometown's beach then," y/n's dad shrugs looking at her mother, who was nodding in agreement, "ok, saving money this trip, I like it. we could stay at mom's house then," it was set.

y/n packing her bags, excited to just bathe in the sun, swim, eat her grandmother's food again, this was her trip.

the car ride was absolutely chaotic.

y/n gained the entire back seat to herself with her two older siblings stuck ripping each others' heads off in the middle seats.

"I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MY LAST TWO POCKY IF YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW." 

"ok bet," her brother held out his hand as his little sister handed him a strawberry pocky packet and her older sister then received her chocolate pocky.

"thank you," y/n bathes in the silence as she goes back to her drama.

the two met at y/n's grandmother's restaurant. y/n was peeling oranges as chan's family walks in, if you're offered to earn some money on vacation, you take it, y/n dropped the peeler, telling her grandma she can take this table.

chan pushed up his glasses as he looks up at the possibly cutest girl he's ever laid eyes on. she was definitely she was shorter than him, her hair held back in two braids, she kept her pen behind her ear and she looked just like how chan envisions the female characters in the classic novels he reads.

"hi welcome to kitchen by paradise, i'm y/n and i will be your server today and if you have any questions about any items on the menu, i'll be more than happy to recommend you anything! now, could i get you all anything to drink?"

chan's mom ordered water, his dad got a cola, his brother banana milk and chan didn't have a clue.

"and for you?" y/n says as she turns her attention towards chan.

"u-um. um. do-do-o you guys have any specialty drinks?"

"oh yeah! we grow our own oranges so we have a whole specialty of drinks. we have an orange-hibiscus iced tea, an orangeade, an orange-pineapple refresher and an orange mint sunrise."

"could i get the orange-pineapple one? please?"

"of course, that's my personal favorite," y/n smiles and chan could've sworn his heart melted, "i will get those ready for you guys and again, if you guys have any questions, call out for y/n!"

"thank you!" chan's parents chimed in as y/n walks away.

"channie has a crush channie has a crush." 

"i will drown you." chan glares at his little brother as his cheeks began to flush.

chan never knew he could fall so easily, i guess this is what happens when you're not focused on studying instead of girls, but this charismatic waitress got his attention.

chan watched y/n peel oranges and make the drink he had ordered, almost feeling bad because the drink looked so tedious to make. he saw the tray of drinks coming their way as she finishes pouring the yellow-orangey iced drink.

"here we go!" she places the drinks at the table, handing each drink to its rightful owner, "so are we ready to order?"

y/n took everyone's orders and y/n couldn't help but giggle at this nerdy guy stuttering ordering his seafood bibibimbap.

he's cute i can't deny it.

"alright let me repeat your guys' order and i'll send this to the kitchen!"

-

chan's family finished their meals and had left while y/n was on her break, disappointing chan, so he jumped to this opportunity. his 18 y/o heart couldn't believe himself that he left his number for this cute waitress he just met, i mean she probably is a local here and i'm here for the next two weeks.

y/n couldn't believe either. she smiled that that dorky kid thought she was cute, so she saved his number, texting him around sunset.

to orange boy: hey! this is y/n!

to server girl: hi! i'm chan i can't believe you actually saved my number ha

to orange boy: i just had to thank the guy who called me cute and also thinks my favorite drink is good because its our least popular haha

to server girl: thats surprising its rly good omg

to orange boy: so are you free tomorrow?

to server girl: i think my family is just hanging out tmr why?

to orange boy: my grandma is sending me to the market tomorrow to pick up some ingredients and i know you're here for vacation and i know im just a stranger but idk want to explore the coast tmr?

chan couldn't believe it, in his 18 years of his life, he is being asked to go out. with a girl. and she isn't trying to steal his study book.

y/n couldn't believe herself, she just asked a stranger to go out with her.

to server girl: i'm down wanna pick me up?

to orange boy: tmr 12pm i'll bring us lunch 

to server girl: sounds like a plan, so whats your favorite color?

the two spent all night getting to know each other, learning they're the same age, chan was older by a month and a half, y/n's favorite color is every color and said some picasso joke making chan laugh in his hotel room. they both felt like they've known each other for years.

the next day came and y/n packed her backpack and her scooter for the day, writing down the list her grandmother has told her the night before and then sending a text to chan for his address.

"I'M TAKING THE SCOOTER!" y/n yells as she runs down the stairs, "TEXT ME IF YOU NEED ME!"

her family all replying as they hear her leave.

as she makes it to the garage, she ensures she brings the second helmet.

this is a vacation. the wind blowing in her hair as she follows the directions to chan's hotel. her dark blue scooter shimmering in the sunlight and she arrives in front of chan's hotel, rich kid huh?

to orange boy: outside by the lobby!!

chan was already in the lobby for the past ten minutes, didn't want to look like a complete weirdo and come out right when she texted so he waited for a good minutes before walking out. he was wanted to be casual, didn't want to screw anything up with her.

"hey! chan over here!" he walked out seeing the pretty girl from the restaurant on a blue electric scooter? taking off her helmet waving her hand around. he smiled and waved back as he walked towards her.

"this is tomi, my trusty stead," she smiles proudly at her scooter making chan stifle a laugh, leading y/n to laugh at his poor hiding of a laugh, "this is yours, hop on!"

"did not expect this to be the start of my day," he laughs as he puts on the helmet, he gets on the back of the scooter and before y/n turns on the scooter, she grabs chan's arms and to his surprise, wraps them around her stomach, "we're going fast so i don't want you falling off," she turns and smiles at him. what am i feeling right now? butterflies swarm around the two teenagers' stomachs, falling in love before they've even gone out.

"oh o-ok."

and they were off. 

y/n parked the scooter in her usual spot, the noise of the market sang to her and before getting off, she introduces the market, "welcome to daecheon market where old men try to peddle tourists and where local teenagers find the best clothes AND one stand has the BEST fruit produce." 

"y/n i think i should just call you fruit girl because you seem very enthusiastic about them," chan smirks

"i dare you to, orange boy."

"alright fruit girl."

the two laugh as they barely even notice chan's arms are still around y/n, y/n begins to take off her helmet right before she bumps chan in the face with her helmet.

"OH MY GOD! i am so sorry chan oh my god im sorry oh my god i-"

"y/n its ok really," chan laughs at her worried look, "i'm all good no bleeding see?"

"alright im still super sorry i kind of forgot i had a passanger with me," she nervously laughs, im such an idiot what is wrong w me wtf y/n

chan hops off and helps y/n down, "thank you, sir," y/n bows.

"you are very welcome madam," chan bows back, leading them both to laugh once more because of their dorkiness.

"here hold this," y/n opens the scooter compartment and hands chan a camera, "thats my prized possession, keep it safe." she pretends to glare at him but ending up laughing anyways, "you're on picture duty and i am on food duty," y/n pulls out a picnic basket and a large water bottle, "before we explore lets eat!"

y/n leads chan down to a secluded area next to the market, "my siblings and i love coming down here and eating lunch and playing ball. its our secret hideout, and you are a new member of paradise cove, mr chan."

"i'm honored," chan couldn't believe how comfortable he felt around her, a stranger that he had a very long text conversation last night about their favorite colors and whether or not aliens exist. y/n couldn't believe either. why did she feel so bubbly around a kid she met on the job at her grandmother's restaurant?

chan helped her put out a small picnic blanket from the basket and y/n began to pull out the food, “so i remembered your order from the other day and grandma pulled through and made some more this morning and a special touch, an orange-pineapple refresher. dig in!”

-

their picnic was nothing but boring, time passed so quickly while they talked more about the city and high school and where they want to go for univerity, and what they want to be. a convesation nether of the two have had with another human being. they both took some pictures while they were at it, y/n always doing some silly pose when chan had the camera and chan always looking away from the camera. they were comfortable with one another. 

“so, let’s explore the market shall we?” chan standing up, offering his hand to her, she was hesistant at first, “come on y/n i don’t bite,” he laughs, looking away. feeling odd with  his hand out for so long, he looks back at her smiling this time, “i’m feeling a cramp coming on”

standing up, she grabs his hand and pulls him close to her, both of their faces flushed now. y/n had NO idea what she was doing, “can i?” she looked at his lips and then back up at his eyes, prepare for any reaction

“yes,” once y/n heard his answer, his hand caressed the side of y/n’s face and pressed their lips together, almost melting into the kiss. y/n felt her cheeks burn up, the kiss lasted a few seconds but felt like an eternity. pulling away, the two laughed with their eyes closed and foreheads pressed against each other, “so the market?” y/n slowly opened her eyes, seeing the flustered boy in front of her interlocking their hands together.

“i thought you were the romantic,” he smiles back.

-

two spent nearly everyday together. y/n told chan she didn’t live in daecheong, they both knew they were both on vacation and the day one of them was leaving was soon appoarching them. “what will you do without me?” “cry.” “shut up chan” “you asked i answered~!”

chan didn’t want to believe but neither did y/n. their two weeks was up, y/n helped chan pack. “are you really going to cry?” “y/n you’re my first kiss, my first love, my first crush, the first girl that actually has gotten my attention so what do you think?” “now, you’re going to make me cry.” she pouts “y/n you have my number, i have my license, you have a kickass scooter. we have ways to still see each other even if that means our universities are miles apart, we can do this.”

-

to orange boy: i miss you

they couldn’t do it. the long distance lasted about a month and then school started.

to server girl: i’m sorry

chan was at yonsei university and back to his old ways. head in the books, no partying no social interaction just studying. this physical therapy major wasn’t moving an inch.

now, what chan didn’t know was y/n was ALSO at yonsei. this visual arts major was the biggest party animal on campus. she ruled frat parties and she was a good students. her professors loved her and her charm.

- ten months later -

HALLOWEEN

“CHAN! you have to come dude!” chan’s roommate, xuxi, begs him. xuxi was the polar opposite of chan, same age same major COMPLETELY different social class.

“no ‘xi for the last time, i’m not a party guy.”

“chan please dude, its a costume party, nobody will know its you.” chan began to consider it, when was the last time i had fun?

“what are you dressing up as?”  “i’m going to be capt. american because im going as the avengers with mark and the other guys. if you don’t want to be recognized then wear a mask, be a masquarade ball dude? idk wear a suit and a mask, be that DUDE”

“i’m in.” here we go lee chan

to server girl: finally going out with the boys for the first time hope you’re well i miss you

y/n read the text almost immediately, “i wonder where he’s going?”

“who?” y/n’s roommate jungeun asled as she’s doing her makeup.

“some summer fling, he just texted me after like three months.”

“he’s more than a summer fling hon if you saw his text so fast.”

“shut up”

“kiss me,” jungeun stuck her tongue out at her, “so what are you dressing up as y/n?”

“poision ivy, mark said they’re going to be the avengers and so i’m showing him up and being dc’s sexiest villian.”

“you’re such a heartbreaker miss y/n let the boy breathe, he may have cheated but-”

“but nothing! he treated me like a one night stand and i wanted more! im going all out!”

-

chan looked at himself one more time in the mirror and xuxi walked behind him in his captain america outfit, “my son you look so fucking good,” pretending to tear up

“shut up,” chan rolled my eyes, sitting back down on his bunk, “should i still go?”

“YES! you look good dude! can’t even recognize you, you look so different and the contacts? you’re really hiding your identity with this one channie.”

“this is the only night we get to be other people so,” he puts on his lacey masquarade mask he bought from target, ‘let’s go.”

xuxi wraps his arm around him, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

-

“MISS Y/N YOU DID THAT HONEY!”

jungeun and y/n nearly in shock of how well this costume curves around her body.

“green is your color girl,” jungeun sighs, “you knock them dead baby.”

“you look amazing yourself j OMG ms daphne over here.”

“I’m finding my fred tonight ok?” she smiles as she ties her scarf around her neck.

y/n places her red mask on, “i’m heading out!”

“HANG ON!” y/n was practically out the door before jungeon runs out, “ok ready.”

“let’s go fuck shit up.”

-

the party was everything chan was not used to, drinking, loud music, people EVERYWHERE, you could say he was slightly overwhelmed. 

you could say he also wasn't used to the attention around him, girls coming up to ask if they wanna hook up or take a shot with him which he declined all of them until she walked in.

ms poison ivy walked in.

it was about 30 minutes after the party started and y/n walked in like she owned the place, jungeon next to her, y/n walked in red heels and green latex in its full glory.

"i'll go get us drinks!" jungeon pracatically screams in y/n's ear.

"OK!" now alone, chan saw this as an opportunity, still not knowing who that was or even who he was in this moment he walked up to her.

"hi!" y/n was drawn back but the handsome stranger in front of her

"HI!"

"I THINK YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY!"

"THANK YOU! I THINK YOU LOOK PRETTY HOT YOURSELF! LET ME GUESS, a VAMPIRE?"

the music got increasingly louder as this conversation went on so chan yelled back, "NOT EXACTLY, IM A MASQUERADE BALL HOST"

y/n felt eyes beaming her up and down and she saw him, mark, and before he could come any closer, y/n kissed this handsome stranger in front of him.

chan had no idea what was going on but he really didn't care anymore, this kiss began to be a full makeout session in the middle of the dance floor.

"IM SORRY BUT DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?"

"YEAH I DO ACTUALLY"

 both of them walk out of the loud frat house, "so who do i owe this honor to mr masquerade man?"

"chan, i'm chan. how about you?"

"i'm sorry did you say c-chan?"

y/n hasn't heard that name in what feels like ages until today.

"yes? is something wrong?"

was it really him?

"no its just i knew someone named chan awhile back, ha." she sadly smiled.

it can't be him chan was never this bold.

"ah i see, how about you ms poison ivy?"

"y/n"

"y/n huh?"

"yes, what about it?

"do you still have that blue scooter?" chan takes off his mask and turns to face the girl he's been wondering about for so long.

"c-chan?"

"long time no see huh?"

"i-i-i didn't even recognize you? where're your glasses? did you get your braces off too? your hair's lighter, you look really good, chan," she sighs in disbelief.

"college does stuff to you i guess," he nervously rubs the nape of his neck, "and you? wow. i didn't think someone could look so gorgeous in latex." he smiles all goofy.

"chan."

"y/n?"

pulling herself into his chest, "i've missed you, im sorry for being an asshole, im sorry for saying those things i shouldve held on im sorry im-"

"nothing is your fault y/n, look at me," he pulls her out of his chest, "i'm here now! we just needed time i guess," he lets out a small laugh.

"now you're the jokester mr lee."

"lets restart. hi im chan."

"hi im y/n," she smiles and takes his hand in hers, "lets never leave again."

"yes ms poison ivy."

“never call me that again.”

[gallickingun]

(I’m the accountant from the previous ask) does the University you attend influence your reach in job attainment? Do you think when I get my masters, I should go to some brand name Ivy League college? Does it matter? Also (IF IM BOTHERING YOU LET ME KNOW) whats the biggest wtf moment u had entering a job that college didn’t prep u for? Also, what kind of accounting do you do and would u recommend it?

Ah yay, I love helping! Okay, so....

I went to a local University because I wanted to save money, and my dad worked there so I got a discounted rate on tuition. The only way I would say that it influenced my job possibilities was that they held a job fair every year where a bunch of accounting firms would come in and there would just be this open-ended event that you could walk around and introduce yourself and pass out your resume. That’s actually how I got my first internship that turned into a 3 year long job opportunity! I know that it’s different at every school, but I’ve found that it doesn’t really matter a whole lot where you went to school, it matters if you know the material. Once you get your license, where you went to school doesn’t really matter lol. Unless it’s just used as a talking point at a fancy schmancy dinner. 

To follow that up, I’m still at the same University for my masters. It’s just the most cost effective option, and I am of the mindset that it doesn’t matter where, it just matters that you go. Honestly, at the end of the day, they’re looking for the paper. Now some big firms may put more stock in that, but I’ve made good money working at local firms, so I wouldn’t really say that going to any big school is a must. Unless you just want to go, then I’d say knock yourself out!

The biggest wtf moment.....honestly? All of it. I mean, you get the simple debits and credits down pat, but I think the real world, real life examples of accounting just blew my mind. Seeing all the moving parts - tax, bookkeeping, audit - put into action really was just an eye opener for me that even though school is necessary and practical, it doesn’t really mean that it’s going to teach you everything. I have had a couple of WTF moments with clients, or with my coworker, but in general, the biggest one is just kind of a “Oh, so this is how it all actually works.”

I am a public tax accountant! And no, I would not recommend it lol. It’s great if you’re single and want to waste your life away, but I think for people who are looking to have a family, it’s not a career I would suggest. I’m not allowed to take vacation from January to May, I’m expected to work upwards of 70 hours a week during that time, and clients are the neediest bastards because every single one of them thinks they’re your only one. I’ve actually decided to try and make a career lane switch after I get my license (because the company I’m working for right now offers reimbursement for passing your tests) to something more private. I want to work for one company, not a whole lot of clients. However, if you like high stress, high demand, then public (specifically tax) accounting is for you! I just don’t work that way. I really want to be able to spend a lot of time with my future family, my kids and whatnot. I don’t want to have to plan my pregnancy around tax season lol.

[tumblunni]

Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

SO

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house