#im not even sure what that means i have berserk on the mind and came up with that phrase

[waywardsalt]

sitting huddled in my little writers hut trying to piece together what kinds of effects i want bellum’s possession to have on linebeck

[dionnaea]

Promises

pairing: kenny ackerman x reader (platonic), slight levi x reader

warnings: angst, character death, mild swearing

wc: 4.4k

a/n: so, so sorry this took so long!! i decided to combine these two requests and change them up a little, so i hope that’s okay! i’m really proud of this piece, so i hope you all enjoy it, too. xx

side note: technically this is a sequel to my other fic Pot Meet Kettle but it’s not entirely necessary to read that first.

requests:

Your writing’s so good I’m cryin’... Also, I’d LOVE to see what you have in mind for Kenny and Reader’s background! 👀 Were they both underground? was Reader already in the Corps when they met?? did she learn how to punch creeps from Kenny?? Plus I’m very curious about what he meant by her fixing broken hearts!

could you do a part 2 to the pot meet kettle levi fic? i really loved it and i think it would be cool if you could write a part 2 based off the kenny vs levi scene in season 3? like maybe kenny sees the reader and he's like good to see you again and levi is like mf what idk im not creative :(( sorry if this isn't enough

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After Rod Reiss had been taken down, the scouts were sent to search the ruined fields for survivors. It was unlikely that any were left, but Erwin was adamant that no soldier would be left behind. You respected him for that, and went on your way to do your job. 

As you wandered, you ran into a returning scout, someone you didn’t know the name of but were sure had been paired with the Captain for this mission. His head was down as he walked, like there was something he had seen that he shouldn’t have, and your mind began to fill with worries for Levi. Had something happened? 

Making your steps slightly heavier in the grass so that he would notice you, the man finally looked up, quickly saluting to his superior. You brushed him off, instead getting down to business. 

“Where’s Captain Levi, cadet?” 

The man’s eyes darted away from your own before he answered. “Taking care of something, I think.”

You raised an eyebrow in suspicion at the soldier’s weary tone. “Oh? And what is he taking care of, might I ask?” Everything about this seemed peculiar, and you weren’t having it. 

“I don’t know. Something… personal.” When he finally met your gaze, he relented, sacrificing the Captain’s privacy for his own sake, too scared to see what your reaction would be if he kept playing coy. “He’s that way, by the big oak tree,” he stated, pointing in the direction he came. 

You squinted, making out the shadow of the tree in the setting sun. You dismissed the cadet, and quickly made your way towards Levi, his body becoming clearer as you approached. Once you were a reasonable distance away, you called out, but were met with silence. As your worry grew, you moved faster, only stopping when you realized what was going on. 

Levi was kneeling, his body covering the person in front of him. It didn’t matter, you’d recognize those spurs anywhere. 

“Kenny?” The name was uttered in disbelief, and as you stepped around Levi, your eyes grew wide with fear. “Kenny!” 

Immediately, you jumped into action, your scout training taking hold of your body as you knelt by your friend. Your hands hovered over his burnt and bloodied body, not knowing where to start but ignoring the possibility that it was too late. “How… How do I help you? I-I don’t know what to do.” Your eyes were tearing up, and your breathing was getting ragged as you struggled to find some solution. “Please, Kenny, tell me how to help!” 

“Kitten…” His voice was rough as he spoke, his usual tones of confidence and charisma gone. You met his half-closed eyes with your wet ones, begging for him to give you some answer, some, any sort of reassurance that things would be alright. 

“Please,” you pleaded. You had never sounded this pitiful in your life, but you didn’t care, and as his shaking hand grabbed your own, a sob wracked your body. “Kenny, please. Please stay.” You couldn’t help, you knew that, but you hoped for once in his life he would listen to you. 

His eyes began to shut, and his voice fell to a whisper as he said, “Stay safe, kitten.” With a barely there squeeze of your hand, his body went limp, his hand dropping from your grasp.  

You stared in silence, shock overtaking you for a moment. But then, all you felt was anger. “No. No! You promised!” You were yelling at this point, fist reaching out to bang on Kenny’s chest in retaliation. A strong grip on your wrist stopped you, but you weren’t done. As if he could read your mind, Levi wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you back from the now dead man. You were screeching obscenities at both Kenny and Levi as you struggled to break free. Soon, your screams turned into sobs, and as you fell limp into Levi’s arms, you let out one last whimper, a last cry for help. “You promised.”

Later that night, as you pulled a camisole over your head, a knock sounded on your quarters’ door. Truthfully, you had absolutely no desire to talk to anyone. You had had a long day, you had just changed into your pajamas, and you weren’t in the mood to join your fellow soldiers in celebration. Still, you pulled the door open a few inches, hoping it would be someone you could easily send away. To your surprise, Levi stood outside dressed in plain clothes and hair wet from what you presumed was a shower. Even more surprising was the newly formed bruise on his cheekbone. The reddish-purple mark stood out against his normally flawless skin, and you found yourself staring, only Levi’s sharp voice bringing you back to reality. 

“You did that, you know,” he commented with a blank face. 

“What?” You opened the door a bit more, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

His left eyebrow cocked up just barely. “When you went berserk earlier. Before I managed to snag both of your wrists,” he explained. He reached up a hand to brush against his cheek. “Damn, you hit hard.” 

You weren’t sure, but the tone in the man’s voice made you think that maybe, just maybe, he was trying to cheer you up. Against your will, the corners of your mouth turned up the slightest bit. “Did you expect anything less?” You quipped, wondering what his answer might be. 

“No.” He shrugged. “Just surprised it took you this long to punch me in the face.” 

At that, you let out a laugh. It was true, the man had managed to push every single one of your buttons during his time with the Scouting Regiment. The two of you were in constant conflict, arguments over the smallest things popping up out of nowhere. At some point, Erwin had decided that Mike would be the babysitter of you two, keeping you both in line during training and even more so during squad leader meetings. You started to smile at the memory, but when you remembered that Mike, like so many of the others you loved, was dead, your expression fell. 

Moving your eyes to stare down at the uneven floorboards, you spoke quietly, but sincerely, “I’m sorry.” 

Levi knew you weren’t just apologizing for hitting him but for everything, and as he studied your face, he made a decision. “Do you want some tea? I keep a special brand in my room.” It was the only thing he had to offer, and both you and him knew it. 

You froze as you tried to figure out the best course of action. Follow the Captain to his room or mope around alone until you cry yourself to sleep? In the end, it was an easy choice. Still, your heart stuttered in your chest while you gained your composure. You took a breath before responding, “Um, sure.” 

There was a beat of silence, as if the two of you were readying yourself to take on some new, mysterious foe. And in a way, you supposed, you were. About a month after Levi had joined the scouts, there had been an… incident of sorts. It wasn’t disastrous or anything like that, but Erwin had quickly ruled that the two of you weren’t allowed to be in the same room together without someone else present. A wise decision on his part, if you were being completely honest, and something that Levi nor you argued with in the slightest. But now, years later, it seemed both of you were ready to break that rule, Levi making the first move as he turned on his heel and waited to see if you would follow. 

Out of all of the scouts, you were known to be the most stealthy. Mike was usually the only one who could sense you were coming, claiming you had a distinctly pleasant smell that his nose had no problem picking up on. One time, he had even claimed that you were the best smelling person in the Survey Corps, and you couldn’t help but swell with pride. Hange had whispered to you later that evening that that was his way of flirting, but you never took her seriously. You weren’t interested in dating anyways. No one had ever really caught your eye minus one man, but you always said it was more of a fascination than a crush. 

Even your ODM gear seemed to be quieter than the rest, and you once managed to spook even the Commander when you landed on the same tree branch as him without him knowing. You naturally existed silently and sneakily so when Levi picked up on the sound of your sock-clad feet shuffling behind him, the pit of concern in his stomach grew. 

Reaching his quarters, he unlocked the door wordlessly, holding it open so that you could enter first. Your eyes widened as you took in the space. First of all, it was much bigger than your room. While you only had a bedroom and bathroom to yourself like the other squad leaders, Levi had a small living area with a couch, small coffee table, and even a desk. There were papers neatly stacked on top of it, and the rest of the area was just as orderly, his tea kettle sitting in the exact center of the coffee table. Only when you sat down on the couch did you see the small fireplace he had. It was just big enough to fit a tea kettle over it, and that’s what Levi proceeded to do. 

You let out a low whistle, capturing the man’s attention. “Wow. When did you get so important?” You asked, motioning lazily about the room with your hand. 

Levi scoffed and placed a hand casually on his hip. “Erwin gave it to me when he moved into the Commander’s quarters. Reward for the highest kill count or something like that.” His voice was so nonchalant that for a moment, you didn’t realize that he was insulting you. No, you thought, it was more of a tease than an insult. 

Now it was your turn to scoff, well aware that your fellow Captain was just trying to get a reaction out of you. Levi watched as you rolled your eyes playfully, firelight glinting off of your irises. Had they always been such a pretty color? 

The whistle of the kettle broke him out of his reverie, and he swiftly turned back to take it off of the heat. When he brought it back to the table, he was pleasantly surprised that you had already prepared the teacups, him only having to pour the water in and wait for it to steep. Hesitantly, he moved around the table to take a seat next to you, wondering when the two of you were ever this close. The events of the day popped into his head, and he did his best to ignore the fact that the thing he remembered the most about it was you being in his arms. Still, a question had been lingering in his mind, and he figured now was the best time to ask it. 

“Y/N,” he started, and you looked over with wide eyes at the use of your first name. You honestly weren’t aware that he even knew you had a first name. “Can I ask you a question?” You knew what was coming, but you forced yourself to nod anyways, giving him silent permission to know your secrets. “How do you know Kenny Ackerman?” 

It was a loaded question, and you let out a breath as you tried to figure out the best way to tell the story without getting either you or Kenny into trouble. Even the secrets of a dead man needed to be protected sometimes. Despite it all occurring years ago, the government’s threat towards you regarding the release of information hung heavily in your mind. Both you and Levi would be in danger if you revealed too much. He could swear himself to secrecy, and you would trust him, but the risk would never be worth the reward. You fiddled with your fingers in your lap, worrying your lip as you thought of how to start to explain. 

“Well,” you bit the inside of your cheek, gathering your nerves before continuing, “About a year and a half before you joined the scouts, I got myself into a bit of trouble.” He raised an eyebrow in surprise as you were widely thought to be the most well behaved and well intentioned scout there was. He thought he was the only person who could get you riled up, your scoldings from the other squad leaders and the Commander always leading back to him. You sent him a small grin. “I wasn’t always the goody two shoes I am now, Levi.” 

“Anyways, it became kind of a big deal in the Capital, and a lot of higher-ups were calling for my head.” You let out a light chuckle. “Imagine just turning 19 and having almost every MP looking for you. Scary stuff.”

“Wait.” Levi held up a hand to stop you before you could continue. The story had just started, but he was already having trouble believing that this was the truth. If not for the darkness that rested just behind your eyes, he would’ve called bullshit as soon as you said your first sentence. “What exactly did you do?” 

You looked away from the intensity of his gaze for a moment, an internal debate raging on inside your head. With a sigh, you relented. “I… I can’t tell you everything, but let’s just say it had to do with a certain Premier and confidential papers being stolen from his office.” Levi’s eyes grew wide, and you took that as a sign to continue. “No one knows except Commander Erwin, but I spent most of my teenage years in the Underground. I was born within Wall Sina, so I had papers to be up top, but I much preferred being below gro—”

“Why?” Levi was quick to cut you off, his expression hard and tone almost offended.

“My parents owned land in Wall Sina, and when they died, they left none of it to me, so folk got the idea in their head that I was a problem child. I wasn’t wanted there, so I left.” You shrugged, and Levi’s face softened. “I admit, the Underground wasn’t easy, but I was quick on my feet and smart for my age. I survived and I survived by myself. Help wasn’t something I wanted, but when you’re suddenly being chased by the royal government, it becomes something you need. That’s how I found Kenny, and it’s why I owe him my life.” 

It had been a week since you had completed your assignment, already turning in the materials to the man who had hired you and returning back to your comfortable life underground. All had seemed to go swimmingly, and your confidence had grown tenfold. The feeling of being unstoppable was addictive, and you craved the sensation of that feeling again. You let your thoughts drift to what you could accomplish next, but sudden screams quickly snapped you out of your daydream. Straightening in your chair, you peeked out of the window of the tavern you currently resided in. Fear grew in your chest at what you saw.

Standing right outside were five MP’s, fully equipped with ODM gear and holding up a wanted poster with a poorly drawn sketch of your face on it. It was clear that they were asking for your whereabouts, and you were thankful to see that every person was shaking their heads to say no, they had no idea. Even with the solidarity of your fellow Underground citizens, you knew you had to get out of there and away from the sharp swords that hung off of the men’s waists. Before you could move, though, two of the men entered the bar, their eyes sweeping over the patrons. 

Right before their eyes could meet your frightened ones, your world was encased in darkness, the only light you could see coming from below you. You blinked, trying to understand what exactly just happened, but soon realized that a large hat had been placed over your head. Carefully, you lifted the brim so that you could see, and were met with the piercing silver stare of a man a good amount of years older than you. Apparently your confusion showed on your face because he quickly pushed the hat back down so that it shaded your features. 

He spoke in a quiet voice, only letting you be privy to whatever information he was about to share. “I’d keep that on if I were you, kitten. Don’t want the MP’s seeing your face, now do we?” You didn’t dare speak, but quickly shook your head, showing him you were listening and following instructions. “Good,” he dragged out the vowel, and the table shook as he placed his leg onto the table. Were those cowboy boots and spurs? You were pretty sure people only wore those in stories. “Now,” he stated, “We’re just gonna have a nice, pleasant conversation. Lots of giggles, ya hear me?” You nodded, the hat moving up and down your forehead. 

As the man started spewing nonsense, you did your best to play along, laughing like he said to and keeping your face covered as best you could. You could hear the MP’s getting closer to your table over the man’s rowdy voice, and the hand gripping your drink began to shake in fear. Smoothly, the man took your hand in his, making some weird comment about how soft it was. You frowned. Your hands weren’t soft at all. What was with this guy? 

The realization of what his plan was smacked you in the face, and you let out light giggles in response, putting on your most fake voice as you thanked him for the compliment. The things you were saying to each other became sickly sweet, so much so that you almost laughed at one point. As the soldiers approached your table, the mysterious man leaned in close, his alcoholic breath fanning over your face. Calmly, he swept the hat off of your head and placed it so that it covered both of your faces from the men who were now only a couple of feet away. 

A swift kick from under the table spurred you into action, and you let out a girlish moan followed by an exaggerated giggle. He followed suit, making a comment about how nice your lips were. If it were any other situation, you would punch this man in the face, but for right now, you’d listen to every command he gave you. From behind the hat you heard one of the MP’s mumble about ‘couples these days’ with a gagging noise coming from the other. With one last lovesick comment from the man in front of you, the MP’s retreated, leaving the tavern with muttered curses leaving their lips. 

Your savior leaned back into his chair, a smirk adoring his features as he placed his hat back on his head. For a moment, you both just stared at each other, you in shock and him in some state of glee. You decided to speak first. 

“Who are you?” 

“The name’s Kenny.” He kicked his other leg up on the table with a thwack! as the spur hit the cracked wood. The silence grew again, but this time you were at a loss for words. Sure, his name was Kenny, but was that all he was going to say? Apparently not, but when he spoke up again, it was entirely unhelpful. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”

You frowned, unamused. “Maybe for you. I should punch you for some of the things you said. Strange men shouldn’t talk to unassuming ladies like that.” Your tone was laced with a bit of sarcasm, and he guffawed.

“I don’t think fugitives from the crown can be considered ladies,” he shot back, and you huffed. His face grew serious. “I’ve been watching you for a while, kitten.”

You raised your eyebrows at the nickname. “It’s Y/N, and, uh, what?” Once again, this man completely took you by surprise. 

He shrugged. “You may not know it yourself, kitten, but you’re well known down here in the Underground. A mysterious girl who arrives without a sound, stealing from the above-grounders and sharing the wealth with the rest of us? You’re practically a legend; some people don’t even believe you’re real, but those that do would protect you with their life.”

This was all news to you. Yes, those were things that you did, but people recognized you for it? You furrowed your eyebrows and blinked quickly as you tried to puzzle the situation out. “I…” You struggled for words.

Kenny held up a hand. “It’s true whether you believe it or not… But, it seems that you’ve bitten off a little more than you can chew this time, my friend. Stealing from the Premier? Tsk, tsk.” His tone was more playful than condescending, and you gave him a weary grin. 

You sighed and finally relaxed back into your own chair, studying the man’s face. It showed his experience rather than his age, and you wondered just exactly who he was. Taking a chance, you pried for more information. You hated being in the dark. “So, you didn’t answer my question. Who are you?” 

His smile grew at your curiosity, crooked teeth appearing under chapped lips. “Someone who can help you. If you want it, that is. It seems clear you like to work on your own.” There was a challenge laced into his words, and you wondered what the right decision was. On one hand, getting involved with someone else, someone else you knew nothing about at that, was a dangerous game. On the other, you were in trouble and you needed all the help you could get. 

Taking a chance, you slowly nodded. “Okay. What do you have in mind?” 

He explained his plan. The MP’s didn’t know your name, so it would be easy to get above ground using your old Wall Sina papers. After you expressed your concern and with a chuckle, he dismissed their drawing of you, stating that once you got above ground and cleaned up, you would be unrecognizable from your old self. Then, with his next words, you lost your confidence in his plan. 

“You want me… to join the Survey Corps?” You shook your head in disbelief. “Uh, no way. That’s right under the government’s noses!” 

He brushed you off. “Eh, not really. The government already dislikes the Corps. They’re not gonna care who’s in it; they figure you’ll all die soon enough.” At that, you gave him a very blank stare, and he just laughed, stealing a swig from your mug. “You’ll be fine. You don’t seem like the dying type.”

It was true, you had escaped the jaws of death on multiple occasions, but you weren’t in the business of actively riding towards your demise. That seemed plain idiotic to you, and you made that known. “This isn’t a joke. It’s my life on the line,” you countered.

With a swift movement, his legs were off of the table and his body was leaning in towards yours, the weight on his elbows making the table creak. His eyes turned dark, levelling your gaze. “It’s your life either way. Would you rather die by the hands of the Military Police after they’ve done God-knows-what to you? Or would you rather die on your own terms, possibly fighting for Humanity’s freedom?” 

It was a good question, a fair question, and one you immediately knew the answer to. You sucked in a breath as you resigned yourself to your new fate. “So, how do we do this?” 

With another grin, Kenny explained the rest of his plan. It really wasn’t a bad idea, and you were grateful for the help. But still uncertainty settled in your stomach.

The day you were to join the Corps, Kenny had told you he would meet you before you left. You hadn’t seen him in about a week, and in that time, you had completely changed yourself, moving up top, getting a haircut, and finally wearing clean, untorn clothes. It was weird and different, but a part of you enjoyed it. This was a new start, you had chosen to believe.

“Kitten!” You turned towards the easily recognizable voice with a roll of your eyes, but the playful smile that toyed with your lips gave away your true feelings. “Give me a spin!” He requested, and when you did, he let out a loud whistle. “Damn, you really look like you belong up here.”

You raised your eyebrows with a grin. “That’s the point, right?” 

“Precisely, my friend, precisely.” Slinging an arm over your shoulders, he began to walk with you towards where the ferry would pick you up. His pace was slow, obviously not in a rush to say goodbye, and you felt the same. Somehow, the two of you had grown close over the past month. Even with all of the secrets you both kept from each other, there was an air of freedom when you were in the other’s presence. No lies, no false personalities, just friendship. 

It was refreshing, to say the least.

For once, you both were quiet as you walked. The weight of the future hung over both of you, pressing your mouths shut. He managed to speak first, his voice cracking for the first time since you met him and giving away his true emotions. 

“Stay safe, kitten.” The words were serious, and something in him couldn’t stand to let that be the last thing he said. “You’ll kick those Titans’ asses.” 

Normally, you’d laugh, or at least smile, at his cheesy jokes. Instead, you stopped walking and turned until you both faced each other, looking up to meet his eyes. With a swallow, you asked something of him that you knew was unfair, was selfish, was wrong. Yet, you still asked, knowing Kenny wouldn’t hold it against you. 

“Promise me you won’t die before me.” 

His eyes softened in understanding, crinkles forming around their edges as he gave you the most gentle of smiles. He knew what you needed to hear, knew it would be a lie, knew you’d hate him for it. But, he said it anyway.

“I promise.”

[teenwolffan-with-nolife]

The Witch and The Wolf Pt.50

Word Count: 2,539

Characters: Derek Hale, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Deaton, Malia Tate, Peter Hale, Noah Stilinski, Jordan Parrish, Kate Argent, Berserkers, Reader

Pairings: Derek Hale x Witch!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, nothing else that comes to mind ig

A/N: im done with this series and i still have like 10 parts left oof 

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Scott held onto Derek’s body, as you pulled into the parking lot of Deaton's office.

The group of you entered, laying Derek on the table as you looked at him nervously, holding his hand.

“We just found him like this,” Stiles started.

“Please tell me you know what’s going on,” you begged.

“I’m not sure I do. How did you find him?” Deaton asked.

“He was buried under an Aztec temple in Mexico, covered in Wolfsbane,” you sighed.

“Well, I think we’ll only learn more once he wakes up,” Deaton started.

“He’s shivering,” you pointed out.

“Then we’ll get him some blankets. Here is the safest place for him. The rest of you should go home and get some rest. It is a school night, after all,” Deaton said to Scott, Stiles, and Lydia.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine here?” Scott turned to you.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ll stay here with (Y/N) and Deaton,” Lydia said, standing next to you.

“Yeah, no,” Stiles protested.

“Stiles, Scott, go home,” you said.

“Call me if anything happens?” Scott asked.

You nodded your head, before turning away. You could hear Stiles’ protests while Scott pulled him away, taking him home.

“What are you thinking about?” Lydia asked you.

“I don’t know. But nothing good can come of this,” you sighed, leaning on the table while you continued to look at Derek, stroking his hair softly.

Lydia rested her head on your shoulder, trying to comfort you as you wrapped your other arm around her.

“Thanks for staying with me,” you smiled softly.

“Well, what are friends for?” 

---

Lydia fell asleep on your shoulder, as the two of you sat on a small bench. You continued looking at Derek, letting your mind drift off.

The two of you walked in the woods, while Derek held his hand over your eyes.

“Surprise,” he removed his hands, revealing some string lights set up around the trees, with a tent in the middle. You gasped slightly, turning to him.

“What’s all this for?” you asked softly.

“I know that things are getting worse with the alpha pack and with Erica and Boyd missing,” he started, before stroking your cheek softly.

“I just wanted us to have a small night away from my loft. Maybe take your mind off things,” he explained.

You laughed softly, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Thank you for this,” you sniffled softly, burying your head into his chest.

“Things are gonna get better, (Y/N/N), you just have to believe it will,” Derek whispered.

You nodded softly, looking up at him.

“I love you, Hale,” you said.

“Love you too, (Y/N/N).”

You wiped away the tear from your eye. This could be reversible, possibly. Derek will wake up, and you needed to try and focus on that instead of the other possibility.

Deaton walked to Derek, as you sighed, sitting up before waking up Lydia.

“Come on,” you said.

You walked to Derek again, putting your hand on his forehead.

“Now he’s warmer,” you frowned.

“(Y/N), hold his hand… I’m gonna try something,” you held Derek’s hand, while Deaton took a scalpel, pressing it along Derek’s arm. It healed within seconds.

“That's… strange,” you said.

“What does it mean?” Lydia asked.

“I don’t know, but it can't be good. (Y/N), will you get me a 5-milliliter syringe? Top drawer,” Lydia followed you as the two of you walked to the cabinet.

You heard stirring behind you, as Derek sat up, hopping off the table. His eyes were blue, as he held his head in his hands.

“Derek?” you said softly.

He looked uncomfortable, groaning softly as backed away from the three of you.

You pulled Lydia behind you.

“Derek,” you said again.

“Who are you? How do you know my name?” fangs began to come out of his mouth, while his claws grew. 

He didn't have control, you realized.

“Derek, just calm down and-” you started.

“No!” he pushed Deaton aside, while he collapsed on the floor while Derek ran away.

Damn it

You ran to Deaton, examining his wounds.

“He got you good,” you said.

“I’ll be fine,” he groaned, while he sat up.

“Lyds, call Scott and Stiles,” you helped Deaton stand up, while you grabbed some rubbing alcohol, pouring it on a cotton swab.

He bit his tongue, wincing softly as you bit your lip, slightly nervous.

---

“He’d probably go back to the Hale house,” you explained, finishing patching up Deaton's wound.

“You said he didn't recognize any of you?” Stiles asked.

“No, not even (Y/N),” Lydia replied.

“That just means his mind and body are younger. But why? All young Derek is good for is, well, losing control on full moons and not listening,” you shrugged.

“Losing control?” Scott asked.

“He had trouble with the full moon till he was about 16,” you explained.

“Okay, but why would he go to the Hale house? And worse, how’s he gonna react when he sees it burnt down?” Scott asked.

“Well, he won’t be happy for sure,” you started.

“I mean, how would it benefit anyone? Except for Kate of course. His eyes were blue, which means after Paige, which means…” your eyes widened.

“A time where he still trusted Kate. He doesn't know she caused the fire, he doesn't know anything she did,” you said.

“So then should we tell him?” Stiles asked.

“No. He won’t believe us. W-We just need to find him,” your phone began to ring, receiving a call from Parrish.

“Hey, nerd. What do you want?” you asked, answering the phone.

“First, rude. Second, you said to call you if anything about Derek Hale came up. Well, we found some kid and according to these prints, he’s Derek Hale. But the kid looks 15,” Parrish explained.

“I… I’m on my way, thanks for calling,” you hung up the call, motioning to Scott and Stiles before walking out with them.

---

You could hear Sheriff Stilinski’s frustration towards Scott and Stiles while you waited outside of his office, looking down at Derek.

“So, Derek,” you started.

“Who are you people?” he asked.

“It’s a long story but-”

“Where’s my family? Where are my friends?” he asked again.

“I know that you’re probably very confused, but you just need to trust us for a minute. You see that one in there?” you pointed at Scott, while Derek shook his head.

“He’s an alpha. He can help you, okay?” Derek nodded his head, before sitting quietly.

“Now I’m gonna go tell that deputy to take off your chains. Will you stay still?” you asked again, receiving another nod from him.

“Parrish,” you turned to face him.

“Can you take off his handcuffs?” you started.

“No, he can’t,” another deputy who you recognized interrupted.

You gave him a blank stare, before replying.

“Parrish, I didn't know there were two of you,” you sassed.

“The little bitch hurt me. He’ll probably try to run away,” Haugh responded

“Well, you tased him, like three times. Here are the keys,” Jordan walked to Derek, unlocking his handcuffs while you glared at Haigh.

The only person there you liked besides Sheriff Stilinski was Parrish, and you made it obvious.

After a few minutes, you and Derek walked into Sheriff Stilinski’s office, Scott and Stiles watching carefully.

While Scott talked to Derek, you talked with Stiles.

“Have you figured out what Kate wants with Derek?” Stiles asked.

“No, and, I never thought I’d have to say this, but I think we need to ask Peter for help,” Stiles looked slightly in shock before nodding his head.

“That girl said that you would be able to tell me what happened to my family and our friends,” you heard Derek as you turned your head to face him.

“Well, there was a fire…” you saw the light fade from Derek’s eyes as his face dropped while you clenched your jaw.

“But they’re all safe. They just had to leave Beacon Hills,” you knew that Derek wouldn't be able to tell you were lying, not at that age.

“E-Even (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and her mom?” he asked skeptically.

You felt chills going down your spine as he said your name.

“They’re all safe,” you nodded your head.

“When can I see them?” Derek asked.

“As soon as we get your memories back,” he stayed silent before nodding his head in agreement.

“Scott, come with me to see Peter. Stiles, take Derek to somewhere safe, like Scott’s house, okay?” you looked between the two of them, while Stiles protested.

“You’re sticking me with sourwolf?!” Stiles groaned.

“Don't get into any trouble, and yes. Scott’s the only one who’ll be able to stop me from killing Peter,” you sighed.

Before the two of you left the station, Sheriff Stilinski’s pulled you aside.

“This may not be the best time to talk about this, but, have you given any thought to the offer I gave you last month?” he asked.

Oh my god!

You completely forgot, your eyes going wide. He wanted you to come and work for him at the station, with proper training.

“Can I let you know by… uhh, next week?” you asked.

“Okay, but I need an answer kiddo,” he said.

You nodded your head before waving goodbye to him, leaving the station with Scott.

---

“His eyes are blue, Paige probably died recently, which means he trusts Kate,” you explained.

You, Scott, and Peter joined with Malia all stood in the loft.

“You said Kate was a werejaguar?” Peter asked while you nodded your head.

“Look…” Scott got a message from Lydia, showing you and Peter the phone.

It was a dead body, a man laying there with his throat ripped out, blood splattered everywhere.

“Lydia said Kate did it,” Scott said.

“She doesn't have control,” Peter pointed out.

“So she wants Derek to teach her?” you raised an eyebrow.

“No...she wants the triskelion,” Peter gasped.

“So, she’s headed to the vault,” you poked your head up.

“What vault?” Malia asked.

“It’s this place, it's filled with basically all the Hale’s secrets and whatnot,” you explained.

“So where is the vault?” Scott asked.

“It's by Beacon Hills High. We gotta go.”

---

You heard something walking behind you four as you turned your head, seeing nothing.

“I’m getting that feeling again…” Malia said.

“What feeling?” you asked.

“The one I got in Mexico. That thing,” Malia shook her head.

“So Kate brought them with her? They’re these guys o-or something, wearing animal skulls,” Scott explained.

“You mean Kate has Berserkers?” Peter groaned.

“Are you insane? Berserkers aren't real,” you scoffed.

“Then what the hell is that?” you turned to face what Malia was pointing at, as your jaw dropped, seeing the Berserker standing in front of you.

“It’s only one… we can take it,” you said.

“I’m pretty sure he has some friends…”

---

“Praefoco,” the Berserker froze in front of you, slowing down as your eyes glew purple, watching it fall to its knees.

Peter must’ve run off somewhere to avoid having to fight, while Scott was pinned against the wall by another Berserker, Kira on the floor.

“Inspiratione,” all five of the Berserkers fell to the ground, nearly unconscious as you heard Scott gasp, dropping to his feet while he leaned against the wall to take a breath.

You could feel pain running throughout your body, while you looked down at your arms, seeing thick dark veins running through them.

Not again

You winced, buying your lip as you scrunched your eyes, taking deep breaths. You heard the Berserker growl, standing up once again while it wrapped its hands around your neck, shoving you against the wall and taking you by surprise.

You gasped for air, trying to fight it before hearing a familiar roar behind the Berserker.

Derek pulled the Berserker away from you, kicking it to the floor. His blue eyes looked at you, noticing he was back to normal, and no longer 15.

You stumbled slightly, while he put his hand on your shoulder, helping you stand up.

“They’re gone!” you turned to Scott, hearing him yell.

You frowned slightly, looking around to see that all the Berserkers had gone.

Derek turned to you, mouth open before you wrapped your arms around him tightly. You shut your eyes tightly while he wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you back.

---

“Where do you think Kate went? With the Berserkers? They can't just disappear like that,” you asked, walking alongside Derek.

“Well, we haven't seen the last of her. She’ll pop back sooner or later,” he shrugged.

“Oh, your place is such a mess… I need to clean up all my stuff,” you were slightly nervous as the two of you walked into the loft.

“You’ve been staying here for the past two months?” Derek asked.

You nodded your head, giving him a small smile.

“I got your text, and then when I got here you were gone. Severo and a bunch of Araya’s men were just laying there,” you explained.

You could feel the tension in the air as the two of you stood across from each other.

“I can’t… thank you,” you gave him a small smile before you wrapped your arms around yourself.

This couldn't be more awkward 

“Hey, how come you didn't tell me the truth? About my family?”

“I didn't want to see you upset,”

The two of you stood in silence, looking into each other's eyes before you inhaled softly, turning away from him.

“I should go get my stuff,” you started.

“(Y/N), wait,” you bit your lip before turning to him.

“I-I… did you mean what you said?” he asked.

You frowned slightly, in confusion.

“At the… when the Oni got to you. Did you mean it when you said you love me?” you could feel your heart racing as you nodded softly, unable to say words.

“Is there a but?” 

You felt your eyes water slightly, before you wiped them, laughing softly before you nodded again.

“I love you. A-Always have and always will. But we always end up hurting each other, and getting mad at each other… I don't want to lose you… I don't want to hurt you again,” your voice wavered before you cleared your throat.

He stayed quiet, before looking down. Your eyes watered quicker before you let out a small breath.

“I’m gonna… I’ll come back later to get my things,” you walked past him, before he held your hand, pulling you back. 

He put his hands on both sides of your face, kissing you as you closed your eyes, sinking into the kiss. You put your hands around his neck, before looking up at him.

“You can never hurt me, (Y/N). You can never lose me. I love you, always have, and always will. Breaking up with you was one of the dumbest mistakes I’ve ever made. There is no one who’s made me happier than you. I love you,” you could see his eyes watering as you wiped his tears.

“I love you too,” your voice broke as you laughing slightly, pressing your forehead against his.

“Forever,” 

“No matter what.”

[dinolikes]

IMPOSTER - PART THREE

summery ❤︎ Nobody has any quirks and is stuck on a ship like Among Us

pairings ❤︎ Imposter!Dabi x Reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character deaths

| prev.|

"at least this means we dont have to worry anymore." kaachan shrugs, you snap your head towards him,

"what do you mean?"

"I mean usually theres only like one, right? meaning we're most likely in the clear." you nod, you honestly forgot kaachan existed there for a sec, he was just so...quiet.

"kaachan c'mere, you too deku." the former looked at you weirdly but complied, while the latter bounced over to you.

you briefly let go of dabi and pulled shoto with you, and hugged all three of the young boys closely.

you knew that them and ingeniumu were in the same classes all through highschool, and they joined headquarters together, to lose a friend like that...you couldn't imagine it.

shoto grabbed onto your arms again, hugging himself close to you, deku, wrapped his arms around you and kaachan -surprisingly- leaned into you, he didnt hug you back but he showed his appreciation and a few sniffles could he heard from all of them.

"c'mon guys, we just have to finish our tasks and soon enough we'll be home, okay?" they nod and slowly pull themselves off of you. "ill show you guys my place and we'll get froyo, all of us,"

shoto lets out a small smile whereas deku didnt hide his, even kaachan didnt bother hiding the goofy smile that broke through.

during your time together you had become a bit of a mother towards the three, especially kaachan and shoto, deku already having a healthy relationship with his mum.

as deku and shoto walk away, kaachan lingered.

"thanks." he mumbles, looking at his feet, you hold his cheek in a protective way

"no problem kaa, now shoo, go with deku," kaachan smirks and walks away.

dabi almost regretted when the moment ended, but was happy to have you in his arms again.

"that was sweet."

you hum, "yeah, your gonna have to include those kids in our little life plan you wrote," you smirk up at him, teasing him about the page you found a couple months ago, which was filled with things he wanted to do with you.

"shup up," he smiled, genuinely smiled at you, and you leant up to give him a peck on the lips.

"wonder, you ready to go?" you turn slightly to see hawks, and you pout.

"actually, do you mind if I take her from now? you and shoto can team up," hawks shrugged.

"sure! ill rescue shoto and let him be with someone cool for once!" hawks laughed as dabi was obviously annoyed.

as everyone went off with their group to finish their task you couldnt help but think.

you were glad fun loving hawks was back, you were glad everyone was back to normal actually. you dont think you guys would ever officially be healed but the thought that this was over made you happy.

dabi tugged on your hand and you looked towards him.

"can I kiss you?"

you blushed, he never outright ASKED, but you nodded anyways, filling with electricity as he cupped you cheeks and smashed his lips on yours.

you both moved in synch, as you ran your fingers through his hair and lightly tugged at times, knowing that made him go feral and right now you just wanted to forget.

you thought of how ingeniumu would react to finding you and dabi like this, the kid would probably start waving his arms and going berserk, thirteen would probably have to calm him down and tell him that it's fine, he's always nice like that.

or, he WAS always nice like that.

you felt dabi pull away and you were about to question it until you felt the tears on your cheek yourself.

"what's wrong doll?" he cupped you face and you saw worry in his eyes.

"n-nuthin." you hiccup, the weight of the reality of this situation finally crashing down on you.

they were dead, they really were dead.

"is it because of, yknow?" he jerks his head towards the cafeteria, referencing exactly why you were crying.

you let out a sob as you bobbed your head.

"awh, c'mere doll," dabi cooed and grabbed the back of your head, pulling you in for a tight hug and his other hand slipped around your waist, softly squeezing to show support.

"t-theyre go-gone! a-and ingeniumu will n-never be the-there to sco-scold us ag-gain and a-and and-" you hiccupped out, they were gone, they were really fucking gone.

"shh shh doll, it will be okay, think about having froyo with the kids and me, how about we make it a tradition? every Sunday how about?" you slightly nod as he moves his hand around you head to cup your cheek, whipping your tears, "yeah? and with me, you, kaachan, deku and shoto, we'll all have froyo each sunday, and when we eventually have kids we'll bring them along too,"

you hum, that did sound nice.

"kaachan would probably try to teach them how to probably beat up deku before they reached 5," you let out a laugh, he would do that.

"and if they didnt learn how to properly throw a right hook on their own before 3, he would probably stay up all day and night to make sure," your voice sounded croaky but dabi still smiled.

"exactly. even if we have to change the life plan a little bit it will still be our life plan, and we're gonna spend it together," you smile and look up at your boyfriend.

"thank you touya," you lightly kiss his cheek,

"anything for you doll,"

he went to kiss your lips again before both of your watches beeped, an emergency meeting.

you both ran back towards the cafeteria, deku, shoto, twice and hawks already there, where was kaachan?

hawks seemed to catch your eye looking throughout the room, and spoke up, "kaachan is dead."

suddenly it felt like everything came crashing down.

you didnt understand, he was- he was there and alive! and your plans- oh god you cant go for froyo now.

it seemed silly to worry about that but you were panicking, it was what you were supposed to do!

you stared at hawks, "n-no. no. hes not dead."

hawks took a step forward, "wonder-"

"no! he- he cant be dead! t-the froyo and the the-" dabi grabbed you and pulled you into his chest again, your newly dried eyes watering again but you just pathetically leaned into your boyfriend. "he cant be dead." you whimpered.

dabi affectionately rubbed your back, "it's okay doll, its gonna be okay,"

everyone stared at you in sympathy, they were all affected but it was obvious you were struggling.

twice had a different look though, like guilt, one that hawks didnt miss.

"hey twice?"

he snapped his head up towards the blonde, "yeah?" his voice slightly cracked.

"where were you?"

"I-"

"oh god not with this shit again! hawks will you give it a break for two fucking seconds?" dabi snaps, "I dont care if this is your way of coping is fucking interrogating us or something but just leave it alone!"

"oh im SO sorry for worrying about who's gonna be dead next!"

"i dont ca-"

shoto interrupted the two, "tomura said he was with twice last time and twice agreed. but now we know tomura was killing." shoto's voice cracked.

twice widened his eyes, but nodded. "i-im sorry."

everyone stared in shock, even hawks was silent.

he didnt look up, "the system is fucked, I'm telling you that, but I didnt want to hurt any of you i swear!"

hawks didnt say anything as he pushed him into the trash chute room, and neither did twice, he didnt even protest.

"can I ask you one more question?" hawks asked, twice slowly nodding.

"are there anymore?"

twice makes eye contact with dabi, another look hawks doesnt miss, and nods, holding up a finger.

with that hawks pulls the switch and out went twice, into space.

| next |

[withered-tears]

OKAY SO I'M 95% SURE A FACEHUGGER WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO IMPREGNATE A CYBERTRONIAN BUT FUCK IT ITS CROSSOVER O' CLOCK. I have an entire backstory/headcanon for the fella dhbgdsjhsdjhv

also woah i ranted for too long so more below the cut:

also the design is not final, I still gotta work a lot of things! specially, a vehicle mode, cuz i want they to be a triple changer. But i still gotta figure out HOW thats gonna look like (mostly were to add the vehicle mode kibble) ANYWAY. So i think the most obvious problem when it comes to the, uh, impregnation, is the sheer difference of scale. BUT THEN THERES THE MINIBOTS/CASSETTES. So thats what happened here, some very dumb minibot (coff rumble coff) got too close to a weird abandoned egg. Dont worry tho, cybertronian are pretty tough so he survived with no side effects. Exept trauma. Now for the interesting part, xenomorphs are supposed to be almost mindless drones, connected to the hive and to the queen. BUT at least in some comics they have show that certain species can produce a basically rogue xeno, they are either too aggressive or too different and branch away from the hive.

in this particular case, having a now cybernetic brain, the drone is unable to connect with other organic xenos, so even if they came across another hive they would not be recognized/accepted as one of them. Now, personality wise, remember in TFP how predaking wasnt aware at first that he could transform? same here, this fella spends his first years in his xenomorph mode, but when you combine their ridiculous fast learning brain, with a literal super computer, yeah they are pretty fast at figuring things out.

But even after figuring out how to transform, they still act mostly feral. Not like, berserk feral, just you know, cant talk, sneaks around, hisses, etc.

But then theres Soundwave.

The xeno will stalk Soundwave nonstop, but it takes him a while to figure out why, until fed up Soundwave attempts to scan his mind, and the xeno does so back. Soundwave isnt the only telepath around anymore. From then on the xeno pretty much imprints onto Sounwave, he being the closest thing to a queen or a hivemind.

Soundwave basically gets a new child is what im saying.

I also have this adorale scene in my head of the xeno curling all small and napping inside Soundwave's chest, cuz it feels like home. (they dont have a cassette mode, they pretty much have to kick all the other kids out to fit)

jeegus i didnt mean to rant for so long jhbvjhbvsjdmh PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

[nahslain]

HANAKO KUN THEORY, TIME TRAVEL AND “BUTTERFLY EFFECT” (Careful SPOILERS!)

First of all, I’m in love with this gorgeous gorgeous work. That said: I have a theory.  I wasn’t sure where to start writing this from, but I guess I’ll take from the most prominent thing that catches my eye. Ok, so, at least 2 times, we have seen Hanako adress the same sentence:  “I’ve made up my mind now; IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE” 

So far, on both times, this sentence usually has been made to look like he was giving up or was willing to stay there forever; as Tsuchigomori Sensei, stated, “The world was full of hope, and this one boy says “I’m not going anywhere”. 

Ok so....I’ve been thinking, what if those words are meant to be said in a REASSURING WAY...TO SOMEONE ELSE? Like, for example, when someone is scared of being left alone and you tell them “don’t worry I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE”? And with that said, it occured to me 2 possible people this sentece would be refering to. 1)The first one, could be Tsukasa. 2)But the second one....could actually be Yashiro We have several evidence that this manga is (beautifully) writen in a way that it subtly foreshadows things to come, but what’s more, it has a knack of repeating senteces that subtletly change their meaning each time they’re used in different context, so they take a completely new, deeper tone.  Ok, that said , let’s take now into count the element of TIME TRAVEL present in the story. Actually,  time is kind of a recurring theme along all the story, even to a phillosophical level if we relate it to the topic of life and death, and what you make of the time you are given, among other things. But that aside, till now, it has been at least 2 times that Yashiro has actually been able to Time Travel back to the days when Amane was still alive and not only that but she can also interact and infuence the events of the past, be it spending a festival with a small Amane (ending up with him using his wish to meet her again), or be it picking up the rocket keychain he droped (while also leaving an impression on Amane while he runs away out of shame for being crying) On the other side, there’s also the fact about Nene’s impending fate.  So, till now, not much has been revealed about Amane’s past. But, something tells me that his decision of “changing his fate” “throwing his future” and “not going anywhere” came from a very deep place of love and/or even, sacrifice.  I have a deep feeling that at some point he became aware of  something greater that made him willingly give up his original dream, even to the extreme of giving away his Moonstone, the one thing that gave him hope because he no longer wanted the “longing for a better place” this stone gave him. By the way I think IT’S VERY VERY POSSIBLE that the night Amane killed his brother was actually the same day he gave his moonstone to Tsuchigomori sensei. That would actually explain why of all things, it turned into his yorishiro, because it’s very possible that it was the last time he saw Amane alive.  So, one possibility I see, is that before the moonstone event, at some point he actually became aware of Yashiro and her fate and all the events of the future, and one of the reasons he gave up his original dream was because he wanted to give her and maybe everyone else (if something major happens) a chance to live, even if it meant he’d have to go all the way through Tsukasa’s death and his own, eventually becoming “Hanako”. Pretty much ala “time loop”, Butterfly Effect style.  But there’s also still a lot of plot holes regarding this, mostly because we still don’t know WHAT WAS TSUKASA’S DEAL.  The other possibility I see, is that this phrase, as I said, might have been said originally  as Amane’s way of reassuring Tsukasa he would never leave his side. What we have as evidence of this it’s Tsukasa’s EXTREME controlling, manipulative and abusive behaviour, specially towards Amane (and later towards Mitsuba and others). Something has to have happened between the dates surrounding the Apollo launching and landing that was so drastic it made Amane completely give up his dream and deciding to “be with his brother” (even if the murder wasn’t on his plans at all).  If not, at most, I trully believe that at some point, this phrase WILL COME UP AGAIN, and when it does, I kinda foresee it will be close to the end and it will be directed towards Yashiro in a “don’t worry, I’m not leaving you alone” kinda way, and it will beautiful as heartbreaking.  Lastly, there’s a lot of questions that come up as I was redacting this:  Why doesn’t Tsuchigomori sensei ever talk about Tsukasa? Why doesn’t he mention him when they talk about their school days?  And what’s more Why don’t we ever see Amane and Tsukasa together on the same space ever, except for a few flashbacks of them being very little? We always come to see Amane JUST after he has been bullied or beat up. Some might say that maybe they’re just in different classrooms, but something’s just OFF. The same goes with their parents, we never see them.  On the other hand I wonder how was Hanako actually before he was sealed by Kou’s grandma? What happens if someone removes the seal of his cheek? Does he go berserk?  Also, it seems all this time Hanako was HIDING from his brother on purpose; and I wonder who actually sealed Tsukasa too, putting aside the very possible fact that he might be Amane’s Yorishiro.  I will post more stuff regarding Tsukasa and questions that come up along the manga soon. I’d like to know what you think, thx for reading guys. 

[fuwafuwamedb]

Kinktober - October 7 (Jekyll, Mordred, Hyde)

“So we tied and gagged him.” Mordred glanced over at Jekyll, crossing her arms. “What’s the plan now?”

Honestly?

He had no idea.

Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that they would successfully transfer his alternate and berserker side to his own physical body. For the first time in their entire lives, Hyde was not a part of him. He was his own human being with his own mind and his own- well, they didn’t know about a soul, but still.

Jekyll could feel his hands on his own waist, feeling his own shirt on his own person.

He could finally wear briefs.

The thought made him snort a little.

Of all the things to do when one was separted from their evil half, he would immediately think about having the safety and security of a pair of men’s briefs rather than the boxers that Hyde would, on occasion, decide to let him indulge in wearing.

It had nothing to do with anything right now though.

It was actually a bit perverse to be thinking about right now.

“Oi! Jekyll!”

Jekyll jumped a little, looking over to the blonde only to find his gaze returning to Hyde.

“What do you wanna do?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“What? So why did we go through all this trouble? You’ve been workin’ with Da Vinci for months on this kind of shit.”

“I know. I know. I just…”

He reached down, petting Mordred’s beast of a cat while she wound between his legs. “I’m going to um… Allow me a few moment with my thoughts. Do you mind-“

“Eh, whatever. I’ll watch ‘im. Just think of what we’re gonna do. He probably will need his own room if we’re going to register him as his own servant for Gudako.”

He processed a total of none of that information.

In fact, he was already moving out the door and heading towards his closet that he shared with Mordred instead.

His mind was on other things.

Exciting, one personality kind of things.

However, Mordred remained behind.

Mordred sighed at the man as he skipped off to do God only knew what. The excited little smile that had been adorning his face had been weird. Not in that it looked wrong or he wasn’t supposed to smile, but more in the fact that it just made her face feel a bit warm when she watched him.

There was a strange heart issue that she needed Bedivere to help her with that she got sometimes when looking at Jekyll.

I’ll talk to Nightingale about it later.

“He’s getting to leave,” Hyde warned, spitting the fabric out of his mouth.

“That’s because he doesn’t really kill people… outside of the master’s commands.” Mordred glanced over at him, propping her feet up on a nearby table and pulling out her sword for sharpening. “You, on the other hand, have a real problem with that.”

“And you have a thing for men in knots.”

Mordred paused, mid-swipe with her whetstone.

“You have me bound here, waiting for who knows what, but I noticed you brought me to your old room… away from everyone.”

“No one knows you exist separate from Jekyll.”

The man hummed, those eyes glinting.

“I don’t know what kind of shit you’re gettin’ at.”

“You have a fetish mind. You wanted me bound here. You like the feeling of standing over me like the king that you are.”

“I do- The hell you mean?!”

Hyde laughed, leaning forward in the seat. “Untie me.”

“You think I’m that stupid?”

“Come on, I’ve seen you at your worst. You could take me easily. No, I’m just saying that you don’t want to let me go.”

“And why’s that?”

“…Untie me.”

The demand was given in a weird low voice, his eyes gleaming oddly as he smiled at her.

On the one hand, he was right.

She could definitely take him if he was up to something. The sheer amount of strength that she had was far greater than Hyde. She also knew he had weak ankles, much like another servant she knew from training.

On the other hand, he had something in mind. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she didn’t trust it.

Then again…

“Fine.”

Mordred pulled the ties off, setting them aside and looking at him expectantly.

If he had something to say, like he’d insinuated, then he needed to go ahead and get on with it. What was he talking about? What had he been trying to-

His arms wrapped around her waist.

His lips, surprisingly, slammed against her own, bringing a strange feel to her being. Her legs were wobbling, losing their strength as though he were some succubus. She couldn’t fight it when he was doing magic shit to her. Her hands, grabbing at his chest, was failing to find purchase there.

Legs buckled, she found herself slumping against him before those lips were back.

More of her air was gone.

Her hands were tangling in his hair, yanking hard only to hear the moan escape his lips.

“My king,” the man breathed. “You wanted this, remember?”

She was sure she hadn’t.

She was sure…

His mouth moved to her neck, pressing to a place that made her body shiver.

“My great king, ruler of me,” he breathed, that voice by her ear. “There is no other I’d follow, no other I’d bother to kill for. I can feel your warmth against my leg. I missed this between us. That fool doctor kept taking you from me. You want to do filthy things, not lay in the same position day after day.”

What?

She closed her eyes a moment, attempting to gather up her senses.

Mordred, a voice something like Bedivere’s own echoed in her head, I swear, you and the other knights share a single mind sometimes, one that can think backwards at all.

Her eyes opened to the man moving up her body, his hands stroking at her mouth.

“I’ll pay reverence if you do the same.”

“Wh-what the hell’re you talkin’ about?”

The soft chuckle came from his lips, the man leaning in.

“You make me think there’s something better than life or death. I intend to drink you down to the last drop, but you’re going to do the same.”

Drink…

What the hell was he talking about?!

Something came to her mouth, stalling her thoughts. She could feel the fabric of his boxers against her chest, brushing against her chest and sending a thousand sparks through her body. She opened her mouth wider, gasping a moment before he pushed himself in deeper.

She gagged, watching those eyes flash.

“Take me in,” he breathed. “Please… You gorgeous king, you.”

Damn him.

The man was no better than Merlin, getting his way without having to really try.

Mordred closed her eyes, attempting what he asked.

The feel of his length was as big as it felt elsewhere, but her mouth wasn’t the same as down below. Her mouth pressed on him more, her throat itching and aching as she found him moving slowly in and out. Her teeth grazed against him, her eyes drifting to look up at him.

“Take more, my king,” the berserker pleaded, “There’s no other way but to drink it in. Come on. Yes! YES!”

She could feel her throat tighten as he went in further. She couldn’t keep this up. Even if his hands were petting her and her body was on fire. Even if all she could do was hold his hips and hold him close, trying to take more of him in.

“Mordred… Ah, my king,” the man’s hair was wilder than before, his eyes closing a moment before he cried her name out.

“…WHAT ON EARTH!”

Mordred squirmed, pushing at the berserker and flipping herself over.

Jekyll’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her further away and leaping at his other ego. Their fists rose to one another, leaving her to pant and taste the semi-sweet taste that had flooded her mouth.

That had been… different.

“C-call me king again.”

The two men paused, staring over at her.

“Let him go for a minute, Jekyll.”

She had to know what they’d just done… and what it meant. But before that-

“Call me king again, Berserker.”

[knivxsanddespair]

It Takes Three Redheads (Brick/Blossom/Berserk)

The city of townsville.

At what should have been a normal day by their standards was interrupted by a furious red flash breaking the sound barrier, zipping left and right, from one hospital to another. "MOVE YOU IDIOTS, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT IN TIME AND SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!"

That was the sound of a very panicking, concerned Brick clotheslining and pushing everyone out of his way. Knowing that he was going to be a father was an unexpected feeling he didn't believe he could had, neither was it ever a thought at his mind, but a lot of things had happened over the years. "Now where is-"

"BRICK! I AM DEFINITELY GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU DO NOT COME OVER TO THIS ROOM THIS INSTANT!"

One of those things was of course, marrying both Blossom and Berserk.

"YOU'VE ALREADY KILLED ME ONCE WITH A KISS, GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!"

"Brick, I don't think Blossom's screwing around. You better haul your ass here right now!"

Without even responding, he directs his movements towards the room to make his appearance known. The first image he was greeted was a tired Blossom, holding their daughter and Berserk chuckling at him. "At least you arrived just in the nick of time, you worry-wart. Say hello to our new daughter."

And for the first time, they could see him not knowing what to feel. No snarkiness, no wise ass remarks..for a while. Brick took a step forward and hold her in his arms. "She has your eyes Bloss."

"Mmhm. And she has my birthday as well seeing as how today really is my birthday. A lucky child that one."

"Heh, this kid is gonna be spoiled. If not by me, by your other self."

"Speak for yourself, daddy. Look who's getting all worked up!"

"Let him have his moment Berserk. So..do you have a name for her?"

Brick thought of it for a minute. "It ain't gonna be Blossick, that's for sure."

"You do that, you lose your naming rights just like Butch."

"I'm not that much of a dumbass, pinky. I was going for..Athena."

"A greek goddess. I like that."

"So..welcome to the world, Athena. We may not know much about this parenting stuff yet but..we promise to do our best."

-------------

Athena learned quickly most of the patterns of each parent by heart at age six. She knows all of the nooks and crannies to get out of the situation when a confrontation rises. Brick seems to love it when she gets him laughing with a smart remark, and her mirror mom will back her up when she needs it to get out of her birth mom's long winded lessons. "And so Athena, what's one plus one again?"

"One more if you're not careful."

"Wh-BRICK! Did you tell her that joke?!"

"Oh whatever do you mean, my darling?" Brick was trying hard to to quake with laughter, with the only indication was his hands vibrating along with the newspaper he was pretending to read. With that reponse gains him a body slam from his wife, and knowing that he was ticklish did so in petty payback.

And the playful banter started again, which seemed more comedic to her rather than two actual adults arguing. "Are they always like this, Mirror Mommy?"

"Believe it or not, they were a whole lot worse when they are around..say your age." Berserk nodded. "That includes Mirror Mommy as well."

She concluded her parents are weird, as much as they are loving and kind.

-------------

"Athena, we need to talk."

She was dreading that four exact words. She could have been anywhere but in her house right now with them just staring at her. "Mom.."

"Athena, what were you actually thinking back there? What in that conciousness of yours decided that this is actually okay?"

At thirteen years, she was formulating her own thoughts and opinions. Her disdain for snobs and bullies was in an all time high. That made her the biggest target in school, and it didn't help that she was very vocal about it. Being home in bruises was a normal day necessity as long as she gets the point across. But that was not why she got in trouble today.

"Athena Jojo, I am not talking to a brick wall. Please give me an answer when I ask you something."

The tone was set. She really meant business this time and she can't use her loopholes or sweet talking to get out of it. "Mom..I didn't mean to steal that make up set."

"Athena, it was in your bag when you left the mall. You're lucky Grandma Bellum let you off with a warning. If it was anyone else it would have been juvie for you. Does it sends you thrills to see us worried like this? What did we do to ever make you do this?"

Brick sensed something was off. "Bloss, let her some spac-"

"No Brick, I need to hear this out of her right NOW! Why did you do this, when you know nothing good is coming out of it?"

That was the last straw for her. "YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS COMING UP, MOM!"

Blossom could feel pins sticking her stomach. "M..My birthday? Athena..you mean.."

"Yeah…sniff." She couldn't contain her tears anymore. "That set costs an arm and a leg, and I don't have that much money, no matter how much I squeeze out of my friends for doing their homework. I-I've seen the way you look like you would have died and came back if you had it. I know I can't do much and I always cause trouble at school..but what kind of daughter would I be if I can't..IF I CAN'T EVEN GIVE MY MOM A SINGLE LOUSY BIRTHDAY GIFT!"

Regret flooded in Blossom's heart when she realized how wrong she was. Looking back, she did the same thing just make her own father happy, even if she knew it was wrong.

"Athena.."

Brick was the first to hug her, before her other moms joined in. "Kid, what you did there was stupid, but your heart and intentions were good. We would rather not have anything than to lose you, you know that better than anyone else."

"Your father's right." Berserk continued. "You are one hell of a gremlin, but you're our gremlin and we won't change that for anything."

"Athena..I'm so sorry I misunderstood your intentions. It may be wrong but you just wanted to do something for me. I know it's gonna take a while for you to talk to me but, I'll try my best to work it out."

"I hate you."

"I know, Moms can be stupid at times."

"Im sorry as well, I shouldn't have done that as well."

"It's all water under the bridge now Athena, let it all out."

From that day on, their bond has been tighter, despite the many differences in opinions that they had.

[ambistep]

Mutual Aid, pt 3

Mina goes to the doctor for help nursing her wounds, and has to make yet another confession to Mortum, solving a mystery that wasn’t a mystery. Just a little wrap up.

lil fic, like 1k words, Retribution spoilers, mention of blood, no proofreading, im tired

Part 1

Part 2

Your fingers have started drumming against the laboratory table - nervous, being undressed, all the equipment, the table itself. It pushes all your buttons, no matter how many times you reassure yourself it’s fine, this is fine, that you’re safe here. That Mortum wouldn’t hurt you. Probably wouldn’t. Another tiny spear of pain.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sit still, mon chéri - you have too many nasty scars already.” She chides you, and you try to make a sheepish smile.  Mortum wouldn’t hurt you on purpose. Not likely, not right now anyway. That is the most reassurance you can give yourself. “Well, how did it go?”

“The marshal’s tired of being lied to, tired of not asking questions. They’re all almost ready. So… you know, smooth as could be expected.” You watch the floor, trying not to make the work any harder on the good doctor.

“Is that why there’s a hole in my suit?” She sighs in disappointment, “That you manage to get hurt even with that much armor, absolutely dreadful.”

You grin, remembering the moment the Phalanx speared you with a tempered iron lance - it’d have taken out most of your torso without the armor, instead of a punctured flesh wound. “Actually worked out pretty well. You should have seen the surprise on the Rangers’ faces, at this selfless act from Clarity.”

“It was just them that were surprised?” Mortum glances up from the wound, eyebrow raised inquisitively. 

You can feel your face start to frown, turning to look away from the doctor, “Hmph.” She had a point - it’s nice now to pretend you planned it that way, that it came from a rational place but… Ortega was in trouble and you panicked.

“You forget, mon chéri, I’m the one who’s known you when you weren’t so caught up in being you.” There is a smug grin on her face, a laughter withheld but only just. A smile that calls back to mind late nights in this lab, laughing, a little bit of drinking, heated discussions of research and plans, science and the world at large. 

The memories come in two flavors, those wrapped and filtered through Yasmin’s senses, and those of your own. Yasmin’s felt vivid, vibrant, maybe free of the burden of… this body, of being you. Your throat has gone dry, and your voice small. “...that was nice.”

You can see the mirth tinged by sadness, at the corner of her eyes, “It can be like that more often, you know.” She makes it sound so enticing, even as she snips the last of the sutures

“...unfortunately, it can’t.” You have to remind yourself that, all the time. Your hand reaches out to rest on her shoulder, squeezing it tenderly, just a moment.

With a pouting huff, Mortum brandishes the cauterizing tool for a few touch ups. “You do so love a masquerade, don’t you?” Her gloved hand comes to rest upon yours as she matches eyes with you, your blood from her work on your skin. 

“I'm masks all the way down, doctor.” You suck wind through your teeth as her free hand applies a cold alcohol wipe to clean your side. “A little warning?”

“Lapine sot, that’s what you get for being maudlin.” She plucks the gloves from her hands and begins to clean her workstation - you instinctively scramble for your shirt, eager to redress, “And you’re wrong - you think you’re clever, but there’s so much of you just oozing to the surface.”

That isn’t reassuring - you work hard for those masks, to keep everything intact. Still, she’s trying to be encouraging, so you risk a goofy grin - a Sidestep grin, “You think so?” But she doesn’t know.

“I know so.” She doesn’t. “And you need to tell me about your dance with that lovely tank - I saw the images before the media blackout went into effect, très magnifique! Phalanx, what a name.” 

“I’ll try - I got a closer look than I’d like, I might still have some of it… tucked away in my brain.” Imprints from Core 02, strange metal thoughts in your mind, hopefully nothing too permanent, not like the other ghosts tucked away. “It was very impressive though - not the tank itself so much, but the telekinetic triune interface...” Mortum’s face cracks in a grin again, ready to pique your mind for the science. 

“The possibilities! In another configuration, you could do so much more with that telekinetic array than hurling metal around. What do you suppose made it go berserk like that?” Did she suspect? Not likely.

You feel butterflies fill your stomach - a mixture of guilt, over the sheer manipulativeness, and pride, at the accomplishment of pulling it off. Would she think you were a manipulative monster? She’d be right. “Okay, I wasn’t sure I should tell you, but… I’m trying to be more open - I did it.” 

She laughs a little. That’s good, right? Shaking her head, “What?”

“I did it. I… I infiltrated El Toro this morning, before the live exercises and I gave them a little encouragement.” It had been pretty easy, really. 

“You set that behemoth loose on the city, just so you could help the Rangers stop it?” Mortum’s face is hard to read. As she searches for her response, your shoulders slump - why are you like this, anyway? 

“I know, I just…” It was supposed to erode the Rangers’ trust in the federal government. The brain cases would set Ortega and Chen toward looking into the Pentagon’s Enhanced human research projects, you hoped. “It makes sense. In the grander scheme of things. I think.” You keep your eyes to the ground, trying not to choke up. Don’t be such a baby, Mina.

Her hands, unexpectedly, touch to either side of your head, sliding down your face, resting on your neck, “And what a grand scheme it is. You weren’t going to tell me? Why?”

You can feel the shame creeping up your throat, “I use people. All the time. I didn’t… I don’t like for you to think of me like that.”

“But you are like that. I make black market tech for villains. You think I care? What you really mean is that you don’t like to think of yourself like that, no?” Her hands slip down your shoulders, thumbs brushing over the tops of your orange brands, just beneath the collar of your shirt. “Oh, mon lapine, such fascinating ways your little brain works.” 

She gently lifts your chin back up - when you look her in the eyes, she’s smug again, “Where are your masks now, hm?” The doctor leans forward, touching her forehead to yours - grinning. You think you must be smiling too. “I told you. Oozing.”

[ais-n]

2| and where is the trauma? both hsin and boyd were severely sexually abused. and emilio's illness is always treated as a joke. look Ais, your series has done me so much good between the bad it did. i found i'm gay lmao and i'm grateful for that. i'm grateful that you wrote this ok. but there are things that were offensive, and maybe it was unconscious, since i doubt you wanted to be racist or write a mlm relationship but more like hetero. i wish i could just enjoy the books but my heart breaks

3| idk what the one who questioned that could possibly mean between all the things but thats what i mean. i appreciate you a lot. i hope this didn’t make you feel worse or whatever. but some people really did end up hurt badly after reading icos and im one of them. with all respect, and hope that i didnt disturb you much, farewell.

++++++++++++

Aha I just realized I can put both 2nd and 3rd asks in one! Which is good because, again, the gay comment makes me laugh out loud XD As I said in the other post, thank you again for reaching out, for explaining your concerns, and for the courage you no doubt had to bring forth in order to do so.

I’m getting right into the answers in this one although I will probably ask more questions for clarification on some of the points, as I did on the first one, to make sure I’m not misunderstanding or misinterpreting anything.

More below the cut! :)

EMILIO’S ILLNESS

I’m really sorry but I wasn’t sure what you meant by that. Which illness? How is it treated as a joke? Could you clarify? 

TRAUMA

So this I thought was super interesting that you felt there was no representation of trauma in ICoS, or I assume you also mean its aftereffects. That’s actually one of the few points I feel pretty confident saying the series does portray a lot of, both in some cases the experience of it and in other cases the repercussions. 

One of the reasons both of them are so severely dysfunctional individually and together is because of trauma.

I don’t want to muddy up this post with a huge tangent but someone had asked a few years ago about the result of the Aleixo mission on Boyd, if he was diagnosed with anything, and so on. If you’re interested, I wrote a long ass reply about the psychological effect of sex trafficking on survivors/victims and talked about some of the things you see Boyd do that are a bit reflective of that. More info at https://aisness.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/boyd-aleixo-psychology/

I think there probably would be more information on all this by now, or at least I certainly hope there would be, but at the time of writing Fade that was the sort of research that was available. 

Although, full disclosure, I don’t tend to write characters looking up the DSM symptoms for this or that; I write what feels right for them psychologically, mentally, emotionally, and oftentimes later look it up and realize they would have likely been diagnosed with this or that thing or they could be displaying traits of this or that.

At any rate, with Boyd, his trauma started early on, and pretty much everything about him is a reflection of that in some form. I don’t see trauma as specific to sexual assault; it’s most certainly a result of that but also of many other things. Boyd dealt with a lot of neglect and/or emotional abuse as a child, he was bullied by his peers, and generally speaking it was difficult for him to feel like he belonged anywhere. He was very often judged by others, often negatively, for things completely outside of his control, like his parents, their jobs, his home, the amount of money his family had, his looks, etc. 

If you look at the Mayo Clinic’s list of child abuse, Boyd falls pretty well under emotional abuse and a bit under neglect, and you can especially see the toll that had on his personality by reading the signs and symptoms of emotional abuse in particular:

Loss of self-confidence or self-esteem

Social withdrawal or a loss of interest or enthusiasm

Depression

Avoidance of certain situations, such as refusing to go to school or ride the bus

Desperately seeks affection

And general symptoms:

Withdrawal from friends or usual activities

Depression, anxiety or unusual fears, or a sudden loss of self-confidence

An apparent lack of supervision

Self-harm or attempts at suicide 

If you look at Complex PTSD, and in particular Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) you can see a lot of Hsin:

Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”

Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”

Dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events”

I wouldn’t say Hsin dissociates quite that extensively but I feel like he does display some dissociative tendencies at times.

Boyd has some too, like

Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.

I think in some ways you could argue they both display aspects of:

Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”

When Boyd was little, he often wondered why other people were treated better than him - why, when he was getting perfect grades, he was going above and beyond whenever possible, when he was trying to be “a good boy” all the time, when he went out of his way to stay quiet and not bother anyone – why, despite all his attempts, other people were celebrate yet he was reviled, even if the people being celebrated were awful people doing awful things. He used to study other people relentlessly, trying to understand what it was about them that made them acceptable and what it was about him that made him not.

That’s why, despite being such an introvert, he’s good at blending in and going undercover; it’s why he can adjust to new situations and, in a way, act - because he always had to monitor and adjust himself his whole life just to feel seen and loved. His dad loved him on his own so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but with the trauma that came from the loss of his dad, and what happened with Lou, plus everything afterward, it really messed everything up.

Boyd was not a victim of childhood sexual abuse, but more of emotional abuse. Well, I guess, I should say for the most part he wasn’t.

Hsin was definitely a victim of childhood sexual abuse and probably physical abuse (that bit I can’t recall for sure). He was raped even as a small child, and that led into different aspects of his life. One reason, for example, he would go berserk and was seen by the Agency as unreliable in cases of him seeing sexual assault was because he saw, in some way, himself in those victims. It was probably his way of protecting people when he hadn’t been protected, himself. 

I can’t speak too much on Hsin’s specific mental health status or repercussions because I didn’t write him so I’m not fully in his mind, but I do know that sort of berserker aspect is part of what came from his sexual abuse and physical abuse and just generally how he grew up. If I recall correctly, a lot of that led into why he was so unstable and dangerous when Emilio first found him; why it took so long to get Hsin to find a way to deal with the violence and aggression and anger in him, in addition to everything else that would have happened regardless of that childhood trauma. Why, too, it was such a huge deal when Boyd was able to earn Hsin’s trust, because he had learned in his life to trust almost no one.

You can see some of the way they both display aspects of C-PTSD as adults as well in the list at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder#Adults

I should be clear: I am NOT a psychiatrist or psychologist so I’m not suggesting that they would be specifically diagnosed with any of these disorders were they to get official diagnoses. However, the reason I bring it up is to show that a lot of the series reflects the way their coping mechanisms lead them to interact within themselves and with the outside world, all of which is often directly or indirectly tied to trauma.

Why is Boyd so terrified of anyone seeing him without his shirt in the beginning? Trauma. Why is he depressed? Trauma. Why is he suicidal? Trauma. Why does he go out of his way to avoid a certain block? Trauma. I would have to look at specific symptoms of different things but I would guess that you could also tie back some of his instability and his sometimes inconsistent reactions to trauma as well. Sometimes he does things or says things that may seem a bit reckless, or cold, or some other unexpected thing at that time - and a lot of times it’s probably in part related to how he learned to cope with things and what his levels of defensiveness are or his fears are at that moment. But he also has a complete inability to see the good in himself for a long time which also ties back, I would think, to some of the things he experienced growing up/previously.

Boyd is an incredibly unreliable narrator. He spends most of his narration thinking about how awful he is, how he should just die, how he isn’t doing a good enough job, and so forth. Yet, that fails to show the impact of some of his choices and decisions. Boyd was pretty much the first person to treat Hsin like a normal human being, to not see him as a surrogate of anything or anyone, to not have any ulterior motives or expectations of him (no matter how well-intentioned), and to truly gain his trust as a result. Yet, Boyd didn’t really see it that way. He didn’t see how important it was for Hsin that he ended up in his life; he didn’t get why Hsin was exasperated the times Boyd said he (Boyd) should just die, that there was no value to his life. He didn’t believe he could be loved so he couldn’t see it was even a possibility at first. Therefore, he spends a lot of his narration over the series belittling himself and downplaying any of his own achievements while simultaneously rewarding or acknowledging what others around him are doing. Not every moment of his narration, of course, but his default state of self is to think he sucks and others are probably better.

Conversely, Hsin is a confident narrator. He often doesn’t doubt himself, doesn’t care what other people think, and is very sure of himself in a lot of aspects like his physical prowess which, itself, is already above and beyond nearly everyone else. Yet he also learned not to trust or rely on anyone else in his life, so he’s incredibly suspicious of others because that’s how he had to learn to be. So, especially in the beginning of the series, in his narration he tends to be very factual about his own achievements and not shy away from acknowledging the things that are powerful about him (even if he doesn’t always see it as anything that special), while simultaneously seeking out anything untrustworthy, unreliable, incompetent, or unworthy about those around him. His narration tends to point out the flaws of those around him because he learned that if he doesn’t protect himself, he’s vulnerable, and when he’s vulnerable he gets hurt.

The result of that is, if you read their narrations straight as if it’s all perfectly reliable, Boyd seems even more unreliable and Hsin seems even more perfect than they actually are, because their default states of being overlap in a manner which magnifies the flaws in Boyd and the merits in Hsin. 

Both of them learned to be how they were because of how they were raised, what they went through, and more. Same as how they react to various things throughout the series.

I can’t more specifically comment on anything without knowing what in particular you were thinking of when commenting in the ask about trauma and sexual abuse. But I think generally speaking, they already start the series having learned coping mechanisms that work for them based on trauma they already individually experienced. Those coping mechanisms end up oftentimes being challenged and at times destroyed or reworked throughout the course of the series. That is what leads to a lot of their ups and downs as individuals and as a couple; why their story isn’t a straight arc going up but instead derails a lot. And why they both spend the entirety of the series coming to terms with who they are both internally and externally, and what that means for their relationship, and how they can find a way to grow as a person and a significant other. They both ultimately have to work on trust; Boyd has to learn to trust himself, Hsin has to learn to trust others, and they have to learn to trust each other.

The way people deal with trauma is not the same for everyone. Sexual abuse doesn’t result in the same reaction for all people. I’m not sure if maybe one of the things you were thinking is maybe about sexual abuse during the series itself? I already linked something that goes more in depth on Fade so I won’t touch on that book, and I really can’t speak for Hsin because he isn’t my character so I don’t want to misrepresent his thought process as hidden behind narration or actions at different points.

The only other thing I can think of that maybe you’re thinking about is Boyd’s valentine status, and how he doesn’t seem to have overtly strong reactions to anything until Fade. If that’s one aspect of what you were thinking about, part of that is just how Boyd deals with things. He tends to avoid things that are difficult for him or he has difficulty focusing on, and oftentimes shuts down emotionally. 

I think honestly he probably dissociated to some extent during a lot of things; kind of separated his body from his mind and felt like whatever happened, happened. For a lot of the time that he was a valentine early on, he had such little love for himself that regardless of how upsetting anything was, how little he wanted to do certain things, he felt on some level like he deserved it. Some things were probably a subconscious form of self-punishment for being born, for being who he is, for surviving when Lou didn’t, for surviving when his dad didn’t, for never being enough for his mother, for just plain existing. Then as time went on he grew to rely on Hsin and find strength in him. It’s also not like every mission he had was a valentine one, or even that every valentine has to end in anything physical. 

That’s why he was able to find ways of dealing with things in some form, even if he didn’t like it or was uncomfortable at times, until the Aleixo mission. He thought he knew how to handle things; he thought he had found apt coping mechanisms. But that mission tore that all apart and nearly destroyed him. His coping mechanisms didn’t work the way they had and now he had to find a new way to survive, and from there came a lot of his instability and more that you see in Fade and as I mention in that blog post.

But in short, I feel like the majority of the series ends up touching, indirectly or directly, on some form of trauma as experienced currently or in the past by one or more of the main characters, and their resulting actions then drive the plot. That is one thing we were very specific about doing: having the plot adjust to the characters rather than force the characters to adjust to the plot. That’s why Afterimage exists, actually; the original plan was sort of like 3/4 of Evenfall and then kind of jumping into aspects of Fade. But we realized at the end of Evenfall that certain things would occur which would then lead to Afterimage and Afterimage then led into aspects of Interludes, which then led into aspects of right before Fade, which then affected a huge part of Fade itself, which then informed 1/27. We didn’t set out to write a series specifically about trauma, it’s just sort of one of those things that happens if you take two characters who have been treated so cruelly or poorly for so much of their lives, and put them together as any sort of team - but especially a team that becomes a couple, and a couple that becomes all but married.

+ +

Regarding the other stuff, I haven’t had a chance yet to check if you answered my question about the hetero relationship comment, so I can’t comment on that until I know more of what you mean. But I would say that generally speaking, I don’t know that I believe it’s necessarily fair to label anything as strictly “hetero” vs “m/m” vs anything else for a relationship. That brings with it a lot of assumptions of what it means to be not only gay or LGBTQIA+, but also straight. It seems to suggest there is only a single way or a very strict set of ways for a cis male and a cis female to be together both in a relationship and to have sex, and I guess I don’t feel like that’s necessarily reflective of reality. People are very complex and so are their relationships, as well as their sex lives.

I’m not sure how specifically the series ended up hurting you but I’m very sorry you felt hurt by anything. That’s a terrible feeling to have to experience. I hope that in whatever way, however it may work best for you, you have the time and space to reflect and recover and rejuvenate. You, like everyone, deserve it.

And honestly, if that means you have to leave the series completely in your past, never to think about it again, if that’s what’s healthiest for you, I truly wish you are able to do so. Stories are there to connect with other people, to share our thoughts and sometimes help us work our way through our own while reading. No story is worth your mental health being put in question. If it is truly upsetting to you to think about the series, it is absolutely not worth your energy. You are more important than a story will ever be. Everyone is. And I say that despite how much I love and rely on stories to get me through life.

If part of your duress is you like aspects of the writing style but the series itself and its contents upset you, you could try reading some other stuff. I have some things I wrote solo that you can find on my AO3 if you want. But also you can find other writers entirely. Depending on what you’re looking for in a story, and the sort of topics you’ve learned work well for you or don’t work well for you, you should be able to find a ton of great series out there and great authors out there who will leave you with the happier aspects of your reaction to ICoS without anything more detrimental like it sounds happened for you with ICoS.

Regardless, I truly wish you the very best. As I said in the other one, please stay healthy and safe! And, if you’re in a place to manage it, stay happy as well :)

Brightest of blessings to you and yours, my friend!

[bunny-banana]

For the director's cut thing, the story where Fabri asks Ermal out on a date but Ermal doesn't realize that? 👀

YO SO WE GONNA DO THAT OR WHAT

Its this fic btw if anyones curious.  

Chap 1

Even with closed eyes, he sensed the man lying next to him turn towards him but Fabrizio did not spoke immediately. No, he just stayed silent for a bit, Ermal wasn’t quite sure what he was observing but before Ermal could ask, Fabrizio broke the silence.

its u. he’s gazing at u, u idiot.

*

*

’You didn’t exactly give off the vibe that you’d say yes’

“What the fuck does that even mean? I don’t give off the vibe?!”

mr no-homo meta has NO right to be surprised at that. boy went into a panic attack every time someone as much as breathed the suggestion ofc fab was Anxious

*

*

A certain Roman showing up at his doorstep looking like he’d belong to the Milan Fashion Week.A tight grey shirt whose top three buttons almost begged to be opened (yet remained miraculously, in Fabris case, closed!) clung nicely to the body underneath it. A very fine silver chain hung around his neck that perfectly fit with the rings and the watch on his hand.Instead of ripped denim, now tight & shiny dark jeans were worn and to round this look up, an impeccably tailored black, suit jacket was thrown over him.

so not to be Hoe on main but we all just love Sexy Fab.  but more so, i really thought Fabrizio would have put a lot of effort into dressing nicely this time around. Probably called a few friends, crying to help him. He just wanted Ermal to like his look. Which he did.   A lot.  again, outstanding heterosexual of the year, ermal meta is completely mesmerised by that look.

*

*

“Well, well, Fab. Gotta say, this place is on a whole different level“ The curly haired man commented as he flipped through the menu.“You like it?”“How could I not?”

again, Fabrizio intentionally looking up a fancy place for their Date, something he actually felt a little bit uncomfortable about himself and wouldnt normally chose for himself. But then again, he was greatly relieved when Ermal actually did say he liked it.

*

*It felt.. nice. The whole evening was quite nice, Ermal had to admit, even with the unusual ambient.

Ermal is just honestly iconic in this fic. man enjoys fabrizios appearance, enjoys talking with him,  eating out with him, just spending time with him in general sooo much……and yet.

*

*

Fabrizio tilted his head and was it the candle light or something else, but a intriguing shine filled his eyes.“I’d know something sweeter than this.” In the next moment, everything turned upside down when Fabrizio suddenly took his hand and intertwined their fingers, his thumb gently brushing over the back of the younger man’s hand.

THE COURAGE THIS TOOK. THE NERVES WHICH WERE WRECKED.  Fab really just went “ok here we go balls to the wall now or never”

*

*

Chap2

“So, Fabrizio….Fabrizio likes me. Apparently.” It felt interesting to say it out loud. Ermal got a tingly feeling at the thought. So ..it was him who made Fabrizio blush earlier? Who made him nervous? And smiley?  Christ, he actually really wanted Ermal to like his outfit, didn’t he? A small smirk found its way on Ermal’s face. Who would have thought that he’d have Fabrizio Moro of all people wrapped around his finger.

erm: so im het

also erm: wow i really really like the fact that fabrizio is into me. its actually super exciting. kinda makes me happy in a way.

*

*

“Wait, what?! I should ask him out?!”“Yeah? Isn’t that something you want?”Is that something he- But that would imply that he’d want to pursue Fabrizio, his very male, masculine, manly friend Fabrizio who was definitely not by any chance a woman. To have a relationship with guy that was …..romantic… and oh sweet Mother of God, sexual?!“I- I- I don’t know.”

so yeah, to get to the bottom of this, when you’re in the process of realising your own …..non-heterosexuality, its just A Lot to take in.  I thought, realistically, that would just be a bit too much for Ermal to take in at that moment. He had to process the mere thought of “yes, you could have a romantic relationship with this guy, since he’s into you. Its absolutely a possibility”. When you’re conditioned to think “i can only ever date people of the opposite sex” all your life, it takes a bit of time to get accustomed to new possibilities.

And then theres the sexual aspect which is like, on Jupiter, for Ermal’s current state of mind.

*

*

Chap3

The video he currently was immersed in showed a slow-mo fight between a mongoose and a cobra that in all its intensity outdid any action movie in a heartbeat.

i remember watching that vid before writing that chapter and being mesmerised by it. u fucking go lil mongoose!

*

*

[Bizio]: sorry i cant this weekend

First, i just love the thought of him being saved as Bizio on Ermals phone. Second, the reason why he replied so late was because he was wrecking his mind about it. Should he go? should he not? god, the thought of seeing ermal excited him and yet scared him. nonononno. he’s trying to get Over Ermal. He needs space. he is not ready yet.

*

*

[Ermal]:Fabri!! Heard you’re coming up North! 😁 I have this excellent bottle of wine that a fan gave me the other day (don’t ask) so how about we open it at my place? I know you love a good wine 😉🍷

He couldn’t even slide the phone back into his pocket before it started buzzing. Surprisingly, the reply came almost instantly this time.[Bizio]:sorry no the schedule is pretty tight for me at the moment i dont think ill have much time in milan

i just image him getting the weirdest fucking fan gifts. also lmao the lightning speed with which fab replied. homeboy saw that wine would be involved and imemdiately thought “nononononono. worst case, my drunk ass might kiss him, god forbid. we are absolutely not gonna do that”

*

*

[Ermal]:So I’m flipping through the channels at home and there comes a baking show and I wouldn’t normally stop to watch but you know what they’re baking? Those creamy pastry things we had in Lisbon!

Now the idea about the Pasteis de Nata stemms from a real life event! During ESC 2018 i slept at a friends house and since the contest was held in Portugal we decided to cook something portuguese. Thats what we did. They fucking slap. Also, one of the best weekends ive ever had

*

*

However, this is how things continued as to all of Ermal’s messages, he’d receive rather uncharacteristically short replies. When he sent him photos he’d often not reply at all and even when he called Fabri didn’t pick.

Okay we have to image in WHAT kinda mental state Fabrizio is in that time. Boy is EMBARASSED to death. Then obviously, he is trying his hardest to get rid of this crush.  So he just isnt talking to Ermal at all. Which in turn makes him lonely and sad.  So then Ermal shoots him a message, sends him a picture and Fabrizio is immediately head over heels again. Which he shouldnt be. Bad Fabri. And the circle repeats itself.

*

*

Fabrizio who smiled sweetly at the host, who hugged her tightly, who joked with her and oh, whose eyes didn’t stick to her face but wandered more and more south.

Dude honestly, Fab was not flirting with anyone. He was just being nice as he usually is. And we all know he a lil bit sleazy so yeah, he might have looked down once or twice. but he really was not flirting. It was just Ermals affection-deprived mind going berserk.

Also that was the first time Ermal witnessed Fabrizio being affectionate with someone else. And the contrast to that cold shoulder he received was just the last straw for him.

*

*

“Why is he all smiley and lovey-dovey with her while he treats me as if I’m a war criminal?!” Ermal shouted the second the other line got picked up.“Uhm, hello? Maybe a ‘Good morning’ first of all? A simple ‘how are you doing, Sabina?’ would have been appreciated too.”

Damn bitch can ya greet ur sister first before going off smh

*

*

And would it have been really that bad if Ermal had just held on to his hand? Let Fabrizio gently stroke him with his thumb, maybe even squeeze back while Ermal’s finger draws circles over letters that covered the older man’s knuckles.It would have been nice and Ermal would have liked it.

I think he just needed to see what he was missing out to realise what he really has always wanted. If things were to go back to normal, he would have never made any realisations.

*

*

“Am I- Do I like Fabrizio?”

No, we dont ask what he is. Because thats for another time, a calmer time. Or maybe not at all. He doesnt know the answer to that question and its not important right now. All he knows is that despite it all, he likes Fabrizio.

*

*

The fact he was a guy was new, but those feelings involved weren’t.

I feel like this is just a very bisexual experience. At least to me it was. Its very confusing when u are genuinely attracted to the opposite sex, so you make the conclusion: you are obviously straight. Its not possibly that you are not-straight.  

Then u start feeling attraction to someone of ur own gender and its like “hmmm. Obviously this must be fake since we have established that Im genuinely attracted to the opposite sex ”

But the thing is..it aint going away. And then u think how you’d perhaps be down for sex, and perhaps be down for something more, and perhaps do all those nice things you would be doing with someone of the opposite sex.  

So yeah, its ..its really confusing and complicated to figure it out. And if you actually do have a feelings for someone it only makes matters more complicated ig

*

*

“Jesus, I really do like him. Me. Liking a guy.”

Again, once u made That Realisation, its just the WILDEST thing in the beginning. a complete NEW concept being applied to yourself.

*

*

“LISTEN CUT THE BULLSHIT I KNOW EXACTLY THAT YOU’RE HOME! OPEN UP OR I WILL STAND HERE ALL NIGHT I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND!” In addition to the knocking he now also started ringing the doorbell. He sure as hell wouldn’t move here until that door wasn’t opened.“I DONT GIVE A FUCK, I WON’T EVEN SLEEP AND NEITHER WILL YOU. I CAN GO ON FOREVER YOU HEAR ME, FABRIZIO MOBRICI?!”

Ermal is just unhinged in all my fics.

*

*

Epilogue

[Ermal💛]: You ready?

Fabrizio added that heart right immediately after Ermal left his house a week prior.

*

*

Ermal looked….cuddly.

So yeah we all know Fab isnt the keenest on fashion and shit. And i just though Ermal would want him to be as comfortable as possible on their date, so he was like “ay come casual” . and also, its sort of cute that Ermal lets Fabri see him so casual too, its sort of more private in that sense.

*

*

And those were still the mild surprises, let’s not start with the downright shock he felt when his brain started providing words like kissable, attractive, sexy and hot during lonelier nights.

i have a fic for those kinda nights too

*

*

“It’s not that far and God knows men your age need the exercise anyway.”

ermal just cant show affection like a normal person, he has to roast u even when he’s madly in love with u

*

*

What followed behind the colourful door was a small chaos. Literally. People constantly coming and going, with buzzing voices chatting in every corner. They made their way half through the rather crowded establishment, got greeted by a waiter who rushed past them, before they finally spotted a couple leaving, liberating two chairs for them.

SO YEAH. the restaurant. it is loosely based on a place here in Vienna. Its pakistani food too, its a buffet, its kinda chaotic like described in the fic. also u can pay as much as u want.

i just thought, yknow, its home made cooking and its kinda relaxed and chill and casual and has a certain liberal flair to it. and i thought yeah that has fabri energy we gonna use that. also their mango rice puddings fucking slap

*

*

Languages were not his forte, those belonged to Ermal, but Fabrizio ran through his options. It surely wasn’t French or Spanish, that he would at least recognise. German looked different too; they had those dots over their U’s and those curly B’s which allegedly weren’t B’s at all. Swedish? Danish? No. He’s been to Ikea often enough to know that his wardrobe wouldn’t be called Qershor. And Russian had different letters but maybe it was something similar to Russian?

Okay, so I’m a known Slut for Languages.  Fabrizio is not. I can pretty much recognise most European languages in written form at some point in a text. Fabrizio can not. Therefore writing this from the perspective of someone who really isnt into languages was kind of interesting and a bit challenging. I was just thinking ‘how would he recognise them when he isnt into them?’  And i think, in the end, i did it realistically.

*

*

“Is it like..Serbian? Croatian? Or something?” He mumbled while putting a piece of eggplant in his mouth but quickly realised the answer when Ermal almost spit out his water from laughing.“No, definitely not. I can guarantee you, it’s very much not Serbian or Croatian ‘or something’.” Ermal chuckled with a bright smile, obviously enjoying their little guessing game. “But you’re close. In a way.”

This is SO embarrassing but this whole language guessing game was just a setup to an inside joke I have with myself.  So, for those who don’t know, I speak Serbo-Croatian. And I study Slavic studies. The first things they tell you in the first lesson of the Slavic Linguistics course is “Please, for the love of God, PLEASE, dont say Albanian/Hungarian/Romanian is a slavic language”. Apparently many europeans assume these languages are because theyre surrounded by slavic countries. BUT TO AN ACTUAL SLAVIC NATIVE SPEAKER, the difference is immediately obvious and so its quite comical when people assume theyre related languages.   So i thought the reverse would be kinda funny to Ermal too.

*

*

“I can be anything the teacher wants me to be. A good student, a naughty student, whatever floats his boat…” He asked sultrily before winking at the man across of him whose higher brain functions seemed to have ceased at once and just gaped at him like a fish.

boys whole brain got fried when the sexiest man in italy started flirting with him. issokay, he was just shocked. fabrizio has never been flirty with him before, he’ll get used to it.

*

*

“I was just trying to give you the best date that I could.“At those words, the Roman frowned however."Wait, this was a date?!”

im just an asshole honestly

*

*

They giggled as they finally closed the gap between them going for a slow and deep kiss.

i just love them being all SOFT and in LOVE

*

*

“Erm, I- I have an instore tomorrow, I better be well rested.”His counterpart just huffed and raised an eyebrow.“So were you planning on staying up all night, huh?”

Fabs horn dog brain definitively went HmmmmMmm this is nice:) ..could get even nicer:)  but no fuck, i have work to do tomorrow

*

*

“Love how you immediately forget about a good night’s sleep once you have a tongue in your mouth.”“Fuck off.”

He just got carried away as if u were complaining ermal smh

*

*

"I bet on everything I have that your password is 'liberoanita1’ so yes, I actually can.”

Parents culture is just using ur children’s names as all your passwords and we all know Fabri is that kinda parent.

*

*

All in All, i also wanna talk about how the epilogue mirrors the first chapter, but in a more successful light.

Fabrizio dresses for Ermal - Ermal dresses for Fabrizio

fancy place - more casual place

They take the car - they walk

Fabrizio takes Ermals hand on the open for everyone to see - Ermal takes Fabrizios hand under the table, in private

They eat their dessert seperately - they eat theri dessert together

they fall out - they become closer, kiss

they dont talk - they plan the next date

anyway thanks for reading and thank uuuuuu for this ask julchen

[gattius-starfrost]

Harboring Shadows - Part 2

(( Follows Part 1, found here ))

“Tell me something only Alteris would know.”

The Cryromancer’s emerald gaze flickered over Alteris, expectantly. She didn’t recognize him - how could she? He’d changed rather drastically since he was a Blood Elf, bound to a body of Nepen’thea’s design. There were days he didn’t even recognize himself! If only Gattius were here… he could vouch for him! But he wasn’t sure how much longer the doctor would be. And time was running out...

“Oi, might be tough, lass. I know a lot other folks dunnae.” he smirked cheekily, stalling for time to think. “But… aye, gimme a second. Head’s a wee bit fuzzy, thanks t’ yer brutish friend, there.”

Alteris looked Grakkar over. Where had he heard that name…? No matter. He had to focus. The ren’dorei struggled to think of something that would prove who he was. To Gattius, it’d be simple. But to Syrielle? He had no idea what she did and didn’t know about him. Or about Gattius… But it wasn’t the time to be cautious with information. She may have thawed him out, but she’d proven decently enough that she didn’t mean to keep him alive if he wasn’t who he said he was. Especially if she thought he were Sunborn. He wouldn’t blame her, either. Sunborn was a dick. But walking all the way back into Quel’Thalas again sounded tedious… he had to give her something.

“Alright, well… I know Gatto’s favorite drink’s whiskey. An’ he smokes, thanks t’ me. Got ‘im hooked back durin’ the Outland Crusade.” he stated, almost proudly. “An’ he’s got a tattoo on ‘is shoulder. Phoenix-lookin’ bird. Had it fer years.”

These were all things that came off the top of his head. He hoped they’d be enough proof…

Syrielle crossed her arms. The information he gave matched up. Either this was Alteris, or this was another Ren’dorei that had done his research. A frown remained on her features. Obviously she wasn’t convinced.

“Let’s pretend you are Alteris. What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be conducting… business… elsewhere.”

She made certain to leave out what ‘business’ meant. There were other ears in the room, after all...

“Oi, y’mean fuckin’ Gatto?” he shrugged - clearly far-less concerned about who heard. “Aye, normally we go someplace quiet fer that. But I ain’t ‘ere fer that.”

His smug smirk faded some, as Alteris shook his head. He sighed, heavily - coughing again a bit as a result.

“M’ situation’s changed. I need t’ lie low fer a bit.”

Grakkar’s face contorted in confusion. He looked to Syrielle, brow askew… but remained silent. Maybe that had multiple meanings in elf culture…? He’d have to ask Kai’eka later.

Syrielle’s ears twitched and she grimaced as the Ren’dorei so crudely clarified the word ‘business’. She let out a sigh, both upset that Grakkar had overheard, but also relieved that this was, in fact, Alteris.

“You can release him, Grakkar,” she finally said, “This one is a friend. And uh… not a word of this to anyone, yeah?”

It was difficult for Grakkar not to say anything in that moment. And while he didn’t utter a word… his expression said it all. He averted his eyes, awkwardly, from Syrielle, as he set to freeing Alteris. He gave the void elf a look as he unbound him. Alteris smirked back proudly in response. He felt vindicated at least - if this wasn’t proof enough, he knew Gattius would vouch for him once his work was done. As he was untied, he moved to stand up from the chair. He chuckled at Grakkar, noting the incredulous expression on his face.

“Hmph! Wot’s th’ matter, Orc? Ne’er fucked a lady’s husband b’fore?” he taunted.

A quick and strong hand thrust Alteris back into the chair, as Grakkar growled. He leaned in, teeth bare.

“Mind yourself, you little purple weasel.” he snarled. “She said you’re a friend… not that you needed all your limbs intact.”

Alteris only grinned wider. This Orc… was damn hot! He looked him over, lightly biting his lower lip as he did so. His face was… nothing special. But that muscular form, those tribal-esque tattoos, and that commanding presence he had… not to mention he’d managed to sneak up on him earlier! He nodded slowly, compliantly.

“Aye… whate’er y’ say, Muscles.” he winked.

Grakkar backed off, still snarling, and took position beside Syrielle. He didn’t fully understand what was happening, but he got the majority of it figured out. He was no stranger to meeting various needs outside committed relationships. This void elf was clearly some manner of vice to Doctor Starfrost… and Lady Starfrost seemed okay with it. Still, he didn’t like how this one eyed him up. It wasn’t sizing up for a fight… more sizing up for something else. He grunted.

“Quit looking at me.” he barked.

“Hard not t’, big guy.” Alteris smirked in response.

--Then it clicked. The name… he knew it from Kai’eka!

“Figured y’d be used t’ ren’dorei attention, aye? Seein’ as yer th’ one fuckin’ my sister, Kai.”

Grakkar’s shoulders sank. Eyes wide. He glanced quickly, wordlessly, to Syrielle… and the immediately away. Azeroth was too damn small…

Syrielle opened her mouth to ask Alteris to stop harassing her employee… but instead her jaw dropped and she looked over to the Orc. The way he snapped his gaze away awkwardly indicated that it was true.

“—err… you keep our secret, we’ll keep yours?” Was all she could think of saying. Clearly, she was in no position to judge.

She frowned, gaze turning to Alteris once more, “Wait… you mean the berserker woman is alive?! I thought she was dead!”

“--Aye, she died once.” Alteris grinned wide. “On that orc’s dick.”

Grakkar brought his face to his palms, sinking down where he stood. So much so, Kronk concernedly came to brush up against him. Ancestors, this was awkward! Alteris reveled in it, however, as he rose once more from his seat. He wandered back over to the bar, where his drink was still waiting for him. He felt rather securely in, at this point.

“Like I said, lass… I know ‘lot other folks dunnae.”

Syrielle brought a hand to Grakkar’s shoulder to give it a comforting pat. Part of her wanted to know exactly how he had ended up in bed with Alteris’s sister, but another… more wise part of her, told her to just let it be. She made her way to the bar, across from Alteris. Her fingers weaved in a specific pattern, levitating a bottle of arcwine and wine glass over.

“Want anything to drink, Grakkar?” She asked out of courtesy. He certainly looked like he needed it. She didn’t even wait for an answer, already pouring him a mug of ale now that she had her wine.“So, what’s going on, Alt? What’s got you running off to hide in Horde territory?”

The Void Elf looked Syrielle over, hesitantly. He felt no obligation to tell her anything, now that he’d proven who he was. She wasn’t exactly going to kick him out - she knew as well as he did Gattius would be more than a little upset if she did. His smirk grew a bit larger, before he took another swig of his drink.

“Long story, lass.” he shrugged the question off. “Suffice t’ say… I got nowhere else t’ turn.”

“Hmph. What of your sister?” Grakkar asked, as he took up the mug Syrielle offered. “Will she not take you in?”

“Heh, th’ only guy she’s been ‘takin’ in’ lately is you, big fella.” Alteris quipped - much to Grakkar’s displeasure.

The Orc growled lowly, drowning his anger in a large gulp of ale. He didn’t like this elf… not one bit! Alteris chuckled a moment longer at his witty wordplay, before sighing, and shaking his head.

“--Nah, but seriously… cannae turn t’ ‘er on this’n.” he vaguely explained further. “Won’t go inta detail… but I went’n pissed a lot o’ folks off. Includin’ Kai.”

He shrugged a shoulder, before taking another sip of his drink. It wasn’t exactly a lie…

“Gatto already said I could stay. Pointed me t’ ‘is lil’ passage inta th’ manor, an’ all that.” he gestured to the door through which he’d come. “Dunnae know how long I’ll be, but hopefully nae too long. Dunnae wanna… interfere…”

Try as he did, he couldn’t mask the disgruntlement with this situation. Specifically, with Syrielle. His tone betrayed it just a bit.

“I, uh… I know it’s askin’ a lot.” he added… for cover.

Syrielle raises an eyebrow, but took a drink of her wine. She highly doubted that Gattius would make a big decision like that without consulting with her first, but she didn’t feel much like arguing.

“We’ll do everything we can to help you out, yeah,” she finally said, “My only concern is this: do the people coming after you know to look for you here? I’m all for providing you with shelter, but we have a son to protect. I just need to know if I should be ramping up security measures or not.”

It wasn’t something Alteris considered, really - he expected the Coterie would know well enough to check here for him, given his history with Gattius. But at the same time… it felt too obvious a place he’d go. Kai’eka knew him well enough, from the last time he ran out on her. She didn’t find him for years after that. Surely she’d find searching Quel’Thalas for him to be a waste of time. Hopefully. Besides… if he could hide amidst Gattius’ shining Light before, he could do it again!

Either way, telling Syrielle seemed like a bad idea. One that could cost him his little hiding place… And he simply couldn’t afford that.

“Doubtful.” he shrugged, casually. “Folks think I’m dead. They won’t come lookin’ fer me. Jus’ need t’ keep outta sight fer a few weeks. Couple months, maybe. Let ‘em mourn an’ move on, y’know?”

He almost felt bad, lying to her. Almost.

Syrielle nodded, swallowing down another gulp of wine. She doubted Alteris would do anything to bring harm to Gattius and his family. She didn’t know him well, but her husband did, and that was enough for her.

“If that’s the case, it shouldn’t be a problem at all. I’ll let the staff know you’re here so that you can move about the manor, though if any of my co-workers drop in, you’ll have to stay out of sight, yeah?,” she twirled her glass as she made the to do list in her head, “I’ll have one of the spare bedrooms ready for you tonight… —Ah, unless you prefer sleeping in our room? Our bed is pretty big.”

Of course she couldn’t pass up making that offer. She gave him a playful smile. Gattius would no doubt roll his eyes at her if he were there.

"--Light, I leave you alone with him for two minutes…" came a voice familiar to the trio.

Gattius emerged from the door leading to his clinic. He looked frazzled, worn down from stress not only from working so much, but also thanks to Alteris' surprise visit. He did indeed roll his eyes at Syrielle, letting his half-quip hang as he went for the bar. If was only about lunch time… but the doctor needed a drink.

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Heya purge! I saw in one of your tags that you’d been consuming fic for around 20 years! That’s like my whole life. Mind telling us how things have changed? I’m sure places like ao3 have changed things a lot. I’m just really curious in fandom and fanfic culture! :3 x

Ao3 is a fucking godsend let me tell you. I won’t make a lot of the same points and stuff that fannish history folks have already documented (how it literally changed, and all the fic we’ve lost that isn’t backed up on floppy disk somewhere… I’d say we’ve lost an equivalent to the digital burning of alexandria honestly) but i can tell you my experience :3

I’ll stick it under a cut cuz i kind of rambled… but i had fun doing so ahahha xD sorry you unleashed the tiger from the cage xD

We all make jokes about ‘being there’ when stuff in fandom history happened, but i’ve been around since all the major purges (LOL my name is so fitting in retrospect ahahha). ff.net’s various purges (and the whole anne rice suing fanfic writers and shit… i never DID agree to their new terms of service haha), geocities sites going down, obviously the more recent shit too, but like I’ve been around even for the creations of certain, older fanfic sites too (one of the oldest slash forums for lord of the rings fics for example… I was there, Gandalf LOLOL!!… and now that i check the date on that i feel old as balls thanks anon xDDD and wow my one fic is still up there PFFFFT) but like, I come from an era where you took your floppy disk and copy/pasted shit from online (once it even loaded) for later reading, and also so you could find it again, because also before ff.net it was hard to find stuff. I’m pre-google ya’ll xD You dont UNDERSTAND the horrors of trying to find anything pre-google. Ya’ll have it so fucking good D:

There was never an abundance of content like there is today, and so you can bet your shit we were grateful as fuck for what was out there, let alone for someone with a decent command of writing and storytelling. Everyone commented on everything (once that was something even implemented… it was email lists before that, and comments sent in that way… i still have my e-mailed comments from fic readers haha), and it was (and still is, in my honest opinion because people entitled as FUCK now) one of the GREATEST faux paus you could do to be reading a fic (esp. multi-chaptered) and not comment. The indignity of not giving back a little (and it still is a little, which is why i get so damn fired up on this subject) for aaaaaaaall the words and story and everything you just read was a serious sin against fanfic writers. I still think its seriously fucked up not to comment (and again, i’ve mentioned that if you dont got the spoons, thats obviously different) but like, the entitlement that runs rampant today did not even exist back then. Yeah, you still had the assholes whose comment would literally consist only of “where’s the rest?” with ZERO actual thanks or input while expecting/thinking they deserve more (and THEN you could remove chapters or stories, cuz god giveth and damn does she taketh away xD), but it wasn’t nearly as prolific as it is today.

The commenting culture today and the backlash against writers wanting comments on their work in return for providing said free content makes me mad enough to wanna curb stomp some people. I’m a bartender, I don’t put up with shit HAHA xD But the entitlement especially now and people who act like writers are being uppity for wanting a small return on their craft are disgusting. Same type of entitlement as art thieves (we all know the type). We didn’t put up with that shit back then. People acting like little bitches wanting free stuff for literally nothing? We’d pull the whole fic. And the community would handle it and it usually turned into a teaching moment about how damn important it is to comment and just how much freaking control writers DO have over their media. We’d pull it from public view unless amends were made (whether that be a private note from someone entitled finally paying their fucking due with proper humility, or reaching a comment count when you had hundreds of people reading but not commenting). Damn i miss taking away fic xD We played hardball back then xD

That was the fucking worst and people were rightfully denied access to fic if hits didn’t coincide with comments. You could publish a chapter and then decide to remove it from view (either for editing, or hostage taking for comments…. which i miss dearly AHAHAH it forced people to learn to be proper commenters and interact with those whose media they were consuming). It’s a big part of what I miss because just like a proper community, people kept each other in check and made sure everyone played nice. You enjoyed a fic? You sure as hell let that writer know. Now though…. the entitlement drives me up the fucking absolute walls and makes me wanna put stuff behind a paywall sometimes…. everyone is lucky im lazy as shit tho AHAHAH and im usually fine after venting xD

But yeah, fanfic culture in general has shifted in a major way to constantly consume and NEVER give back, either in comments, or creating new content yourself to also add to the community (for example as i’m sure we’re all aware, like ALL the people who bitch about certain ships or ‘why ship this when you can ship THIS?’…. Like, instead of bitching that ‘WAH WAH this author doesnt WRITE the ship I LIKE why can’t they write THAT??’ people came up with the radical idea of CREATING the content they wanted to see :| And if weren’t that good of a writer/artist to do so? Well then you SUPPORTED the writers/artists you enjoyed by leaving comments on their shit OR getting a commission… Goddamn i remember when even ‘commissioning’ people was a wild concept… Ya’ll dont know ahahah xD

I do believe that this is a huge source of where Anti-shipper behavior has stemmed from; entitlement gone berserk. And public schools and shit are still largely full of my parents’ generation who were not computer-literate either in function or courtesy, so even as internet social skills are not being taught correctly (or safety; they scared the SHIT out of us back in the day and now everyone has all their shit and pictures online haha) so there’s also a huge disconnect socially which i think has impacted online fandom spaces and what is considered acceptable or not. People also turn into fucking swine when they think they’re anonymous online (and boy do they change their tune fucking quickly when you out them) and i think the whole anonymity thing is also a factor of this whole entitlement issue in fandom spaces; making demands without giving ANYTHING back. Like I’ve mentioned in the past, I don’t put up with that shit, and it’s not a coincidence I was going to work for the CIA after I just left Japan about 3yrs back (thank fuck I didn’t cuz FUUUUCK this administration) cuz people are dumb as shit and basic tracking skills to call someone out on their bullshit has been my bread and butter since i was like 12 haha. You act dishonest and entitled, and it’s gonna come back to you in some shape or form. You’re going to reap what you sow. That was the motto back then and I still believe in it today.

Hell, it has shocked the FUCK out of me the few times i’ve had people tell me ‘omg me and my friend were talking about your latest update!’ and i’m just like O_O????? because also back in the day, ‘fanfiction’ was kind of a taboo word. You never said you were into fanfic in mixed company. You more or less NEVER discussed it publicly (I’m not even talking dirty stuff, just normal, sfw fanfiction) because it primarily existed only online (for me; i’m post-fan magazines but pre-internet fanfic sites LOLOL). Hell, I got my college english professor into fanfiction. She didn’t even know what it was, let alone that something like that existed, and I had to explain it to her my first year of college kind of with a red face xD She was a writing-professor too so like, let that date the culture a bit. Like, if that was literally her major field of expertise and she didn’t know about it, that should tell you how not-mainstream fanfic was.

I’m kind of out of touch with that myself. Do kids (ya’ll are kids to me okay? xD) mention fanfiction as a reading/entertainment medium in normal conversation? Like, you could mention, without getting weird looks, ‘oh i enjoy reading fanfiction’ or (and i’m like internally gasping at the idea here) being able to say ‘yeah i enjoy writing fanfiction’? Is that a thing? I sure as hell don’t tell my peers that I write fanfic, let alone that i’m approaching 1million words for borderlands stuff alone AHAHAH It’s STILL taboo and seen as a lesser writing medium to folks my age. If you weren’t in a ‘geek’ circle (and i mean, i had friends who played D&D at lunch, and one friend who we mentioned fanfic together with) then culturally, as an art form, it wasn’t acceptable to discuss. Like, i’m STILL in that mindset that fanfic is not something to be discussed off the internet with people and it makes me very very uncomfortable to do so unless i know 100% I can speak discretely with someone. That’s what the offline culture was. I know its way different in some respects, like me and my youngest sister are 10yrs apart and her experiences with fandom are wildly different, but the idea of people actually talking about someone’s fic together with friends absolutely blows my fucking mind.

So, it’s changed in good ways too xD I just fucking HATE people who think they’re entitled to never comment or give back to the community sooooo i tend to get stuck on that issue, ESPECIALLY, again, as a writer approaching 1million words. *salute* doing my duty to the fandom community LOLOL or polluting the fandom community if you’re an anti AHAHAH antis can suck my entire ass and i’ll go on to put another million words of what they HATE into the world and they cant stop me ;3 spite is a fabulous motivator xD

The tools back then were a lot more crude, abilities and functionality was limited (but also better in some ways; moving fic to the ‘backroom’ so to speak), and even finding stuff was hard and relied on the hushed whispers of friends, but damn the community was better. So much better. So much more positive and accountability made people decent. So like, I do LOVE a lot of what we have now, but we have lost SO much. Both in terms of content and sense of community. I wish people would put more positivity into the content they’re consuming and lift up others. It’s why i try my damnedest to leave commenting tags on EVERY SINGLE THING i ever reblog here, because i *know* firsthand how much it means. To scream your art into the silence and only get the equivalent of stares back is maddening.

So yeah. Stuff has changed. Capitalism and censorship are running especially rampant hand-in-hand right now, and lord forbid we come full circle where there are no more places for us. I mean, if we have to go back to email lists, hell I’m already ready and an old veteran to that system anyhow. I’d miss all the content we all have access to…. but then there’s also that 90% commenting rate you get with that kind of system so HEEEEEY let it all fall down! bahahah xD

[maedarakat]

✍🏻 please

(Thanks!!! You didn’t include a pairing tho so I hope you’re cool with me just doing my fave boys? XD This is going to be around season 1 and maybe 2, pre-redemption Dagur bc he’s fun.)

—-

Dagur stared at the parchment in his hands, expression extraordinarily dumbfounded. One of the Riders had just … Terror-mailed him a letter?

The Terror was even still hanging around - just out of reach and ridiculously good at avoiding thrown knives. Almost like it was waiting for a response to this drivel.

He’d of course spent a good portion of time over-analyzing it. Was it a distraction? The set-up for a trap? It wasn’t from Hiccup and it didn’t ask him to meet him anywhere though.

Nope, just inane babbling from one member of Hiccup’s little dragon-loving group. There was nothing to really do but tear it up and throw it overboard. Which he almost did, but Savage stopped him.

“If you don’t mind me suggesting, sir, this could be an opportunity? Write back and tell the boy to meet you alone if he really wants an … “ Savage peered over Dagur’s shoulder to re-read the lines that had his leader so flustered. “An arrow-launcher for Snoggletogg.”

“Arrow-launcher! As if I’d actually send anyone else a Berserker crafted arrow-launcher for anything, let alone for -” Dagur paused, mid-tirade. “Wait, is it Snoggletogg today?”

Savage shook his head. “Not for four more months sir.”

Dagur scowled, but made his decision and stormed toward his cabin. “Nobody disturb me and leave that Terrible Terror alone. I’m writing a response.”

——-

Dear Blithering Dragon-Rider Idiot #1,

OF COURSE IM NOT SENDING YOU AN ARROW-LAUNCHER FOR SNOGGLETOGG, YOU COMPLETE MORON! Why in Loki’s name WOULD I?!? I cannot believe you’d even DARE ASK ME for such a thing?! Are you serious?!? 

Can’t you ask your parents?!?! I heard you can get a pretty nice selection at the Northern Market. None as close to the quality on my ship, so I guess you’ve got decent taste, but still - DON’T YOU EVER, EVER ASK ME FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN. 

It seriously weirded me out. 

- DAGUR THE DERANGED

P.S. And I hope your tree catches fire!!!!

—–

“There, I sent it.” Dagur and Savage both watched as the Terror flew off, disappearing soon in the fog that surrounded the Berserker armada.

“What did you write?” asked Savage, nosey as ever.

“What do you think?!” Dagur snapped. “I told that rider where he could shove his stupid request!”

And that was the end of it, until the next letter came.

——

Dear Dagur the Deranged,

Wow, I had no idea you would be so offended? Sorry. You’re always offering Hiccup stuff and he doesn’t appreciate it, so I figured I could use some of that misplaced affection to fulfill both our emotional needs.

And also my need for a totally awesome arrow-launcher. 

You sure you don’t have a spare one? Or a broken one I can fix that’s just taking up space on your ship? I promise I won’t mind if it’s a wreck, just put a festive little bow on it or something. It’s the thought that counts, right?

Ooh, but besides all that, do you worship Loki too? I’m so happy to hear that if it’s so - it fits you! You’re clever and devious, He’s clever and devious … If you ever want to talk trickster gods and their frustrating yet endearing ways of making life interesting - then I, Tuffnut Thorston, am your man.

Also, thanks for the tip about the Northern Markets, but if my parents actually liked me enough to get me one, they’d probably make me share it with my sister. 

Do you KNOW how hard it is for two people to work the same massively destructive weapon at the same time? Trust me, the projectiles do not go where you want them to. Just ask Sven’s sheep. We all had to eat a lot of mutton that night. It was good too; I still don’t get why the Chief was so mad.

Anyway, I hope your tree catches fire too! Ours does every year, as a tribute to that time Astrid decimated almost everybody’s house with exploding dragon eggs.

Have a Happy Snoggletogg! (I’m wishing you one early, in case you manage to kill us all before it gets here. Hopefully with an arrow launcher because that would be ironic and kind of funny.) 

See you on the battlefield!

- Tuffnut Thorston

P.S. What would you like for Snoggletogg, assuming we all live to see it? I probably can’t afford or steal anything fancy, but I can always write you another poem.

——

Dagur was enraged. Livid. Also, more confused than ever. 

This had to be some sort of trick. Why was this crazy Rider still talking to him? It was like having a prisoner you just couldn’t make shut up.

Or resist talking back to. 

What he should do was crumple this stupid parchment up and throw it over the side. But then that Terror would hang around all day and annoy him. 

Dagur growled and ignored the strange look Savage gave him, as he ordered the man to find him better parchment and some more ink. 

He didn’t write letters that much; but he wasn’t about to send something smudged and tattered back to this dumb kid. Maybe if he wrote completely bluntly and in big letters, the Rider would get that they were enemies.

Not friends. Not … quill pals.

—–

Dragon Rider, 

You seem to be confused, so let me help you out here. 

I’m not sending you anything for Snoggletogg, and I don’t want anything from you either. Thanks for the offer, but –

We are enemies. I want to kill you and your buddies and all your little dragon friends, including your stupid Terror that keeps dodging my knives. Actually if you wanted to send me anything, send me more knives. I’ve lost at least three over the side because of that thing. Who knew they could be so fast?!

Seriously, write to me again asking for anything, and I’ll blow up your entire house the next time I attack Berk.

- Dagur the Deranged

—–

Dear Dagur,

Okay, I get it. I won’t ask for anything. Just surprise me. 

Some knives are totally coming your way, though. Nice ones too, with polished antler handles and sharp edges. The merchant almost sold them out from under me, but I distracted him by pointing out a rainbow and snagged you four. 

Also, if you blew up my house, you’d be doing us all a favor. It’s a total mess. I’ve been begging the local dragons to ‘accidentally’ torch it, but Hiccup keeps stopping me. It’s a shame; my mom would get a new house built and new furniture, so she wouldn’t have to clean for a while. She hates cleaning. Gets it from me. 

Oh and I guess Pop would have to drink out in the sunshine. Or the rain. He could use a quick rinse either way, he’s gotten kinda ripe since I last visited.  Pshh, Dads today, am I right?

Anyway, that last letter was so serious. Dare I say formal? You sounded like you could use some cheering up, so I wrote you a poem. 

I know it’s not Snoggletogg yet, but I’m sure we’ve missed your birthday by now, anyway. (Hey when is your birthday? Let me know.)

Here’s the poem:

There once was a rider named Hic, Whose tyranny would make you sickThough love him we will,And we follow him still,Sometimes he can be a real prick

——

Dagur snorted and started laughing out loud, causing a few heads to turn. He quickly caught himself and glared them back to work before turning back to the letter in his hands.

He had meant to get rid of it this time, really. But it had just been so boring today. 

He had to admit, the kid had some nice poetry. Also, the thought that he had an actual belated (or was it early?) birthday gift coming his way honestly thrilled him - especially if it was stolen. 

Because buying things with money and prestige? Boring! As a chieftain’s son,  expensive gifts had always felt like people were sucking up to him, so whatever it was had no meaning really. 

But this do-gooder dragon-rider had actually broken the law (and definitely had gone against Hiccup’s wishes) just to get him a nice gift. 

That was … That was just so … thoughtful?

He bit his lip, a little conflicted, but then shook his head to clear it. If someone was wanting to be nice to him, it didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean he had to be nice in return. 

But maybe it wouldn’t hurt anything to keep writing back.

—–

Rider,

Thanks. That poem was pretty funny. I’ll accept those knives too, since you’re technically just paying me back for the ones I lost. I hope you don’t expect anything big in return, like mercy or extra food rations when I eventually kill and capture you all. 

I’m no good with poetry … maybe you’d like a story or something? I know some pretty scary ones. Ooh, I bet you can make that big kid with the Gronckle scream like a little girl!

My birthday is the 15th of September. 

Regards, Dagur

P.S. When’s yours? Maybe I’ll just try extra hard not to kill you that week.

—–

Well, it wasn’t anything he’d brag about to his men, Dagur thought, watching the Terror fly off. But maybe being quill-pals with the enemy wasn’t such a bad thing.

[lolsmurfaccounts]

Most Bizarre League of Legends Puns of 2018

When it comes to coming up with jokes and puns, League of Legends players cannot be outclassed by anyone. There are lots of different types of puns out there especially, so we have gone through the internet with a fine-toothed comb to find the most bizarre, the funniest and the best. These are definitely not the only puns out there for LOL. There are enough of them that you could fill up an entire series of encyclopedias and still need more room.

But these are definitely some of the best ones out there. We’ve also divided them up into eight different categories so that you can choose the ones that you like the best. Some of these are great, some of them are so bad they’re good, but they are all worth reading. Let’s get started.

When Forum Users Are Asked for League of Legends Puns

The first category that we’ve chosen is simply the one showcasing the responses that come when League of Legends players are asked to come up with puns. There are quite a few that have been bandied around the internet for a long time, but what is surprising is that many users are able to come up with some of the funniest puns out there right on the fly.

Part of that is being inspired by the post above you, but some of them are so truly original that all you can do is upvote the post and laugh to yourself. Here is exactly what happens when LOL players are asked to post their best puns in a forum.

I could tell you a zilean of them but I could not be bothered

I’m sure Ziggs would have a blast making some dynamite puns on this thread. Surprised this thread hasn’t exploded with more replies!

Jarvan puns would be Exemplar-y.

Urgot to be kidding me, these jokes are Tibbersable. Half of them are Ireliavent.

C’MON post more!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t want to have posted this thread in vayne.

I don’t Evelyn know what to post…

Dat Ashe

Need to post it in my new twitcher account

My brain Ziggs and Zaggs trying to think of more. I’ve come to think that coming up with a good one is just Lux. Post more pl0x!

Well i think im pretty VIKTORious when thinking up lol puns

Fizz decided to take mid-lane for the halibut.

Yall can follow this horrible thread to your graves

Knock knock. Udyr?

Volibear: Hmm… You might be expecting some un-bear-able pun. I’m going to tear the enemy apart with my bear hands!

Karma is a *****.

Wow let me Ashe you guys a question; what kind of twist of fate put us all here ? Is there Annie answer for that question?

Go Diana fire.

If I post in this thread while in my car, does it could as texting while Draven?

Oh, god why Zyra want to communicate with me using a thornmail im gonna leaf her alone

Kayle yourself.Go Diana hole.This thread isnt really Nasus ary.

We Kennen this right now.

I managed to get away with it though, so at least my efforts weren’t in Vayne.

Alright, this is getting Downright Darius, so I’m gonna leave. (Your leaver status has risen to 1)

The Chinese was A.K.A. Li.

An enemy has been sWain.

Viktor-y.

Gankplank.

Masteryies.

Jokes? I got a Zilean of them!

Urgot to be kidding me!

Annieways, let’s start!

Hey, Anniebody home?

Could i ashe you a question?

TIME to win the Euro Zileans!

Stupid people! They are Phreaking me out, man!

Sivir me Tibbers!

You ** Ashe hole!

I wish you good Lux.

This will work, i Garen-tee!

That TANK will RAMM-US!

This left me SIVIRly disappointed.

Well, that was a nice Twist of Fate.

Annie is pretty hot.

Ashe is cool, but Kayle is divine.

Irelia don’t know what you’re talking about…

Pfft, Lee sin to reason.

Ryze and shine.

Your digging your own Graves.

Udyr challenge me?

Seems like bad Miss Fortune to me.

Dont get Corki.

Cho´gath! Eat my Fizz.

I Garen-tee that you will lose.

All hail the glorious Chairman Maokai.

Man i miss-clicked becouse of thar Twitch.

Maan, you could hear that Ziggsplosion from miles.

I-realy need a nerf mor my W.

Want to get out of elo hell? You gotta Ryze to the occasion.

how do you Darius that computer when I’m not home?

Sona we are doing these puns again…

Vi must stop with the puns!

Long-Form League Puns

Most of the puns out there are really short one-liners. But then we came across people that really must have thought about the puns that they were going to create and then worked to turn all of the puns that they came up with into a coherent paragraph. That was extremely impressive, and it took a great deal of work, so we thought that they deserved their own category.

That’s why we have listed these long-form puns below, so that you can appreciate them in all of their glory – as well as their corniness – by themselves. These are truly the best of the long-form puns. Whoever came up with these should be proud of their work, and if you search for them, you will be able to find the original posts yourself.

Okay… Are you guys for ez-real? This has been done to death, and I Garen-tee that Annie of the puns Urgot have already been used. I mean, there’s a Zilean possibilities, and I’m not just triforcing to get a Ryze out of you, I’m being sincere. Stop with the puns. They’re lane.

This is really lane. Some of you champs needs to Ryze to the occasion. Anivia would have thought this thread would be reborn again. Seriously Brolafs? I feel like I’m going to go berserk if I don’t see some more puns here. I never Everlynn would have thought my hate would have spiked towards you guys like this. It just makes me twitch. I think I’m done with this post, before my endless rage ignited again, I need someone to come stand united with me. I think we’re all on the same team fights here. Bye!!!

But on the other hand, I asked my girlfriend and she said Shyvana keep on making up LoL puns. She thinks they’re a Riot. I swear, she has a Renekton of them. Speaking of my girl, she’s more of just a friend. Our parents just tried to Rammus together. (She’s a Phreak sometimes though, if you know what i mean) But i still Twitch when i think of her in Amumu. Enough of her though. That was irrEvelynnt.

I accidentally Draven to an old lady crossing the street today. But killing is a BIG Nunu, so THERE’s some bad Karma for you. I was scared so i took the body to a river (I didn’t want her to Ryze from the dead)

I Garentee these puns are not funny, I heard a Zilean of them but I always Zed they aren’t funny, in fact, it Lux like they are Aatroxiously not funny. They are Anniething but new, so atleast please make Brand new funny jokes or Elise people will downvote you

LOL Puns So Bad They’re Good

While compiling the puns for this article, we came across lots of bad ones. Some were just bad so they were chucked out, while others were so bad that we couldn’t bear to discard them. They are like some old horror movies – they are so awful, so terribly bad that they are actually good. It is a fine line when something surpasses that mark, but just take a look at these and see if you don’t agree that they need their own cult following.

These so-bad-they-are-good puns are going to make you groan, but you will also remember them later and hopefully, if we have done our job well, they will elicit a chuckle, even against your own better judgment.

I hate Vladimir, he really sucks…

i wouldnt mind these threads if the puns were at least thresh.

OMG that pentakill was Kata-strophic!

I told you not to steal that blue from our AP carry, and now you got killed, it was all bad Karma.

What’s the holdup? Why Ahri waiting?

I ain’t ‘Cho b***h!

Annie’d blue!

Put on some pants. I can see your Ashe.

They need to rename Brand to “Bland”…

Elise you get an assist..

Sometimes I wish this game Ezreal

All this hype is turning out to Fizz!

He needs a Graves because I just destroyed him!

Irelia think this is a bad idea.

Top Ten League of Legends Puns

Okay, so there had to be a best of category. There are a lot of puns out there, and it is really difficult to narrow the thousands that we went through to find the best. However, these are the top ten of the League of Legends puns that we could find on the internet.

You may not agree that these are the best ever (and it is quite possible that there are many that we failed to unearth in our research) but you will almost certainly agree that they are among the best and that they deserve their own category here.

These are the top League of Legends puns, which encompass the really clever, the original and the simply so-true-they-are-funny categories. Let’s take a look at the top ten.

Malphite is once stoned again.

If you’re going to put a blind person in charge of your lottery like Lee Sin you’re going to Miss Fortune.

Teemo and Cho’Gath walk into a bar.. only one of them got hit.

Q: What do you call a Bronze team with Dr. Mundo, Nurse Akali, Surgeon Shen, Kennen M.D., and Soraka? A: Doctors Without Borders.

They should make a League of Legends Broadway show about “Playing Under No Sight” (PUNS). It’d be a play on wards.

If Quinn kills Lucian, is it a hate crime or is it fowl play?

A guy playing top lane, hit 7/7/7; announced in all chat he’d hit the jaxpot.

If I ever achieve 0/0/7 on a support, I steal the next kill. If I get called out on it, I respond ‘license to kill’.

U Vlad bro?

Example of OP Shaco: JAX in the box.

Hilarious Puns from LOL

Sometimes, puns just make you laugh out loud. This is a highly subjective matter, because what is funny (or punny) to one person, might not be to another. So, these might not be as hilarious for you as they were for us. But if you can relate to them, then we’ll bet that they are going to make you laugh out loud as well. Sometimes, the most hilarious ones were the ones that you least expected, and that’s part of what is included here.

But sometimes, it was originality, or a twist on an old pun that was extremely clever. In any case, they are all terrific puns that deserve to be showcased. There aren’t very many of them, because most of the best ones from this category were placed into the top ten instead. Enjoy the few that are here though because they are great too.

Teammate intercepts Caitlyn’s ult right before it hits you, your reaction: “TANK you!”

Undead scientist: SION-tist.

So, there I was eating chicken and Ryze. But it was disgusting, so i threw it in the Thresh.

LOL Puns Straight from the Champion’s Mouth

What about puns that come straight from the champion’s mouths themselves? We found a few of those and they were really funny. They might have been just as funny if someone had else been saying them as well, but the fact that you could imagine your champion saying them was what really distinguished them from the pack. With some champions, you know their personalities so well that you simply can imagine them saying such a terribly funny thing or making a terrific pun.

The creators of these puns knew those champions as well as you and us do, and that’s why we have put them into their own category. These puns are all straight from the mouth of the champion that they are about or are referring to in some way.

Ryze: “Take this scroll and stick it… somewhere safe”

Karthus talking with Anivia: “Do you… feel a chill?”

The mighty Ymir once said: “2 Mushrooms sit in a closet. One tells the other: “There’s not mushroom in here”

Master Yi: “Wuju pass me that potion?”

Rammus: “OK.”

Vayne: “Evil Lux around every corner.”

LeBlanc: “Lux can be deceiving.”

Zilean: “Your TIME has come.”

Garen: “Shut up, we’re losing TIME now….”

Do you even Rift bro? -Kassadin

League Puns in Terrible Taste

Okay, so the fact is, there are some League of Legends jokes out there that are really in terrible taste. For example, there is a joke about Americans not being very good at LOL because they cannot defend their towers. That joke is still unfunny to most Americans so we have not showcased it here. We have also decided to skip the ones that glorify awful things like rape. You might be surprised how many of the puns out there in terrible taste that we simply decided to skip.

But there are also puns that are in terrible taste that are still pretty funny. We think that those puns deserve to be recognized, but that they should come with a warning label so that everyone knows what to expect before they read them. That’s why they have been placed here into their own category.

If you’re swapping main champions; never go from Ashe to Malph.

Why does no one like Annie lategame? Because she’s 18.

Q: What do you call a toxic Thresh that just whiffed his ult? A: A dick in The Box.

Q & A League of Legend Punnery

Finally, we have a category of puns that are sort of Q and A jokes. Most of the good Q & A jokes we came across were included in another chapter of this book. So, we didn’t find very many that were worth including here in this category. However, there were a few and they definitely deserve to be recognized for their originality and hilarity.

These are not usually classified as puns, since they are mostly in joke format, but the pun was there in each of them. Let’s take a look at some of the Q & A puns that we found.

Q: How do you know Alistar is dyslexic?

A: He always goes oom!

What do you do to a toxic Zyra? Repot them.

Q: What do you say when you unintentionally outplay your opponent as Zyra?

A: All plant.

Q: How long does it take to save up enough money for Locket?

A: Aegis

Q: What is the Undead Juggernaut’s religion?

A: Siontology

Q: What do you call it when renekton rushes a chain vest?

A: An In-vest-igator!