#im not joking when I say this is. the Best thing I have Ever drawn traditionally

[bleetusmcyeetus]

Take a lil sun that I doodled today

[honeekyuu]

love affair. [tsukishima kei x f!reader] chapter one.

>>The unsavory reputation that Tsukishima Kei has built for himself as the Sendai Frogs' rudest rookie puts his upcoming contract renewal at risk

or

Tsukki really needs a girlfriend, and you really need everyone to stop calling you his pathetic, pining best friend<<

series status: [complete]

masterlist. || next.

a/n: i have a lot of feelings about these two. welcome to those feelings.

[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]

---------------------------------------

Sendai Frogs Middle Blocker Tsukishima Kei Caught in Heated Argument with Fan

Sendai’s Tsukishima Kei Breaks Paparazzi Camera

Sendai Frogs Player Threatens Reporter Outside Home

You sigh, scrolling down the list of news articles that had populated when you’d entered his name into the search bar. 

“This fucking guy.”

The top links are all reports of his most recent altercation, his newest scandal, the next thing he’s done wrong. Only a few talk about his performance during a game – luckily, he’s beyond talented and had drawn in a substantial amount of the Frogs’ fanbase, so his… poorer points have been overlooked by their management.

Until now.

You sigh again, remembering the text you’d woken up to this morning.

[5:07 AM]

Tsukki: im fucked

Tsukki: management called me in for a morning meeting

Tsukki: come over tn?

You’d groaned, instantly exasperated. You texted back that you would expect him to have dinner ordered by the time you arrived and left it at that, going about your day with a feeling that this had been the last straw for him.

Because Tsukishima Kei had always been trouble.

The boy you’d known in elementary school had been sweet and playful, but he’d had a mischievous streak. It had paired well with your general tendency toward chaos, and your friendship had been built on shared scoldings from teachers and parents.

The boy from middle school – the one who’d learned about betrayal – had been snarky and bitter, tongue sharp and words crafted to draw blood. Stones pelted at those who’d ever spoken ill of you – you, growing into wider-set hips and chubbier thighs than the other girls. You, who’d always hid your insecurities behind Tsukki, your wild smile and silly demeanor keeping others from seeing how painful stones could truly be. 

He’d been almost imperceptibly softer with you – just a bit gentler, lacking the same heat that had scared others off – but he’d still cut you a handful of times. Retorts thrown too quickly in times of high stress, sarcastic comments snapped at your heels a little too thoughtlessly. But you’d always been tough — turned by the cruelty of a few mean boys and girls into something just sharp enough to handle his temper — and he’d learned that he should take care not to cross any real lines with you.

He’d still managed to cross a few in high school, and you’d taught him that you hadn’t been joking. He’d had to learn that the words ‘ I’m sorry ’ were hard to say, but that having you ignore him was harder. 

And one day, those words had stopped working, too. Because a friend shouldn’t lash out enough to need them as often as he always had.

Tsukishima Kei had learned – in the middle of your third year at Karasuno, when a fight had gotten to a point worse than things had ever been between you – what it might mean to lose you. You’d walked away from him that day, and you’d gone weeks without speaking to him. He’d finally shown up at your door after a home game, drenched in the torrential downpour that had started so suddenly that you’re still convinced the universe had put you in a dramatic movie moment on purpose.

But he’d stood there anyway, waiting you out until you’d be willing to talk. Because you’d never once missed a game of his, and because – even if he’d been trying everything to get your attention since your fight – it was starting to feel like this was the nail in the coffin of your friendship. And he simply couldn’t have that. You could yell at him – bicker and snap and fight – but your silence was unacceptable.

He’d stood there at your door, blond hair plastered to his forehead and rain-covered glasses hiding his eyes completely, as you’d beaten his walls down to nothing. Screaming, you’d gone on and on about his lack of consideration and care for you – about every moment that had felt like a punch to the gut when nothing of the sort should be allowed in a friendship – until you’d run out of breath. Until all you could do was stand there on your doorstep and sob, the storm drowning you out to everyone but him.

He hadn’t said a single word, only stepping up to you once you’d stopped and wiping your snot-covered face with the front of his drenched volleyball shirt.

“ Okay, ” He’d finally mumbled, voice thick with regret as you’d cried into his chest. “ I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. ”

You two hadn’t had a single problem since. Things had gone back to normal, with Tsukki toeing the line but, without fail, never crossing it.

You’d been secretly glad he hadn’t changed all that much. He was still the same. He was still Tsukki.

The rest of high school had passed by in a series of rolled eyes and exasperated comments. College had started just the same, with new friends made and roommates come and gone, but Tsukishima Kei right where he’s always been. People here were less rude, less judgmental of your size and the unapologetic demeanor that had been built because of it. You’d made friends here, although never ones that could compare to the Karasuno Volleyball boys, who still float in your social orbit even now. Shimizu Kiyoko floats closer still, one of your dearest friends to this day.

And, still , already three years into college, Tsukki’s what he’s always been. 

Brutally honest and annoyingly coarse.

Sarcastic at best and a cloud of misery at worst.

Immovably loyal and at your side without question.

He’s the same as always, if not a bit more mature with age. Your relationship’s developed into one of constant exasperation, witnessing his every moment of idiocy into adulthood. He’s a nightmare to have a serious conversation with, but you’ve learned that he always listens, even when he wants to do anything but that. Your arguments are frequent, but never serious.

Any hint of a real fight is always squashed promptly under his feet, his hands calming on your shoulders and his tone losing its edge the moment he’d spot the telltale signs of your anger – he’d always give in first, even with a personality as stubborn as his. The balance between his commonplace sarcasm and something more serious is a delicate one, but he’d managed to find it with you. 

The issue, however, is that you are the exception.

Tsukishima had been recruited by the Sendai Frogs in your third year, playing successfully and renewing the year-long contract for the following school year – the unspoken agreement being a full-time professional contract with them after graduation. He’d been sheltered, in a way, last year, because it had been a soft launch – a trial run to see how he’d do, how the Frogs fans would take to him.

As it turns out, the road to going pro comes with as many problems as it does benefits.

Upon signing the contract for this year, the Frogs management had officially introduced their It Boy to the world. 

Tsukishima Kei – 21 years old, Middle Blocker. 

He’d been thrown into an unending schedule at the beginning of the year – any time outside of practice and games is taken by interviews, sponsorships, media promotion. His face and name had been plastered over billboards and brand collabs, the Sendai Frogs’ Middle Blocker a player slated to bring the volleyball world to its knees.

But the most important, truly – the thing that had started all his problems – is the invasion of privacy.

He’d managed to make it to the start of summer vacation while juggling the newfound fame, but – with the halfway point of his temporary contract approaching quickly – the Frogs fans had recently become rabid. People clambering over each other in classes to get a better look at him, baristas writing their number on his coffee cups at cafes (and then posting his coffee order online, of course), and his face posted all over the internet. Every miniscule move he makes is posted to Twitter – his class schedules, his mealtimes, his practice hours. Paparazzi at his apartment, at his car, at his classes.

He’s everywhere, and that’s too much, even for him.

He and Yamaguchi had had to move to a gated, private townhouse together, unable to stay in their dingy off-campus apartment anymore – too many people had tried the locks and camped out in front for a single glimpse of the up and coming star athlete. 

You hadn’t escaped the public eye unscathed, either. You’d seen enough comments about yourself online – what your relationship with Tsukishima Kei might be, and why it always seemed just non-platonic enough to be questionable but completely unable to be pinned down. What you may or may not be gaining from hanging around this rising heartthrob, and – notably – how you could possibly think he’d be interested in you, given your… physical attributes.

You’d learned to be good at ignoring those comments, but it hadn’t come without damage. Damage that had taken the form of quiet arguments with Tsukki about not wanting to go out into the world with him, irritated demands that you not let the irrelevant comments of a few internet trolls affect your friendship. More than a few instances of Tadashi and Kiyoko showing up to your door with takeout and some reassurances, Tsukki’s barrage of whiny texts set aside for a night.

It had gotten easier over the summer, your ability to ignore the public’s opinion not necessarily stronger, but your ability to hide the effects of it certainly solidified. You manage to shake off the minor stress that comes with leaving your little studio apartment every morning, and you’re happy with the balance of your private and public life by Tsukishima Kei’s side.

What you’re not happy with – very crucially – is his inability to keep his name out of the tabloids for picking fights with paparazzi.

– 

By the time you make it to his townhouse, it’s well past 5pm and you’re nearly dead on your feet from the full day of work and classes. School’s just picked up again, and your professors seem to not know the meaning of ‘syllabus week’. 

Tadashi answers the door, glancing over your shoulder at the poorly hidden paparazzi across the street before gesturing you into the house.

“He’s not here.”

You blink, taken aback. “What?” Where the hell-

“I am now.” 

You turn, finding Tsukki just behind you in the doorway, a bag of takeout in hand and his gym bag slung over his shoulder. He shuts the door and kicks off his shoes, eyeing the narrow glare you’re giving him.

“Got something to say?”

Your tone is sharp. “Did you really break a reporter’s camera last night?”

He nods, not even a little bit ashamed. “He was sitting on my car after practice, waiting for me. And then he wouldn’t get off of it.”

You sigh while Yamaguchi nods understandingly. 

“Yeah, alright, that’s annoying…”

“ Annoying isn’t enough to justify my reaction, apparently.” He shakes his head, following the two of you into the kitchen. He leaves the bag on the island for you to unpack and disappears down the hall toward his bedroom to change. You withdraw containers of curry and set about serving three plates of it, navigating their kitchen without issue.

Tadashi mumbles quietly beside you. “How fucked is he?”

You shake your head, sighing again. “Infinitely fucked, I’d say.”

“You saw the look in his eye?” He cuts a questioning glance at you, his concern apparent. You just nod, pouring out drinks for the group.

“He’s not telling us something.”

“ He’s right here.”

You both look up, finding Tsukki in the doorway with a pinched scowl and high, tensed shoulders. He lifts a brow at you.

“I’m fine. ”

You and Tadashi make brief eye contact before snorting in unison and pushing past him to the living room with the food. You take a corner of the couch, and Yamaguchi occupies the armchair beside you.

“So, what’d they say?” You ask. 

“Off the team yet?” He follows up with a joking smile.

No one acknowledges the underlying nerves you’re both displaying when you look Tsukki over. As much as he needs to get his attitude in check, neither of you can fathom a world in which the Frogs had let him go.

Tsukki flops down on the other end of the couch and breathes out a quiet sigh, slumping back into the cushions. “Management is unhappy with the reputation I’ve created for myself.”

You nod, taking a bite. You’d expected that.

“Okay…?” You draw your knees up under yourself, watching him stare up at the ceiling.

“They have asked-” He lifts his brows, considering something. “-well, more like threatened – that I make a major change to my lifestyle in order to fix the growing impression of me before it becomes ‘solidified’,” He quotes with his fingers, smiling mirthlessly. “Or my full-time contract’s on the line. They want me to find something to make me seem more…” He trails off, staring off to the side now, in your general direction.

“Pleasant. Approachable. Relatable. Soft.” He shrugs. “That kind of thing.”

Months of watching Tsukki adjust to the celebrity lifestyle makes translating this a breeze. 

“They want you to get a girlfriend,” Yamaguchi concludes, spooning curry into his mouth.

He laughs bitterly. “And they want it fast.”

You take another bite, shrugging when he looks over at you. “Better get to downloading dating apps, then.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re enjoying this.” He tugs his phone out of his pocket, anyway, glancing briefly at his roommate. “You’re both enjoying this.”

“Well, you didn’t get kicked off the team, so-” Yamaguchi relaxes, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“Mm-hm-” You agree. “You did this to yourself.” And then you scoot in, watching him download a few apps. “Cast your phone to the TV so we can watch.”

“You’re funny- hey- ” 

You snatch his phone away, connecting his phone to the TV and projecting his open Tinder screen. You slap his hands when he reaches for you, setting his profile up for him in a matter of minutes. He snorts.

“Experienced in online dating?”

“Gotta do something to pass the time in between classes.” 

You only realize how it sounds when they both eye you in amused surprise. Tsukki sits up to look at you properly, scandalized and face split in a wide grin. “Gotta do what in between classes, exactly?” 

“Wait-”

Tadashi giggles into his hands, sinking low in the armchair, and Tsukki shakes his head, tutting in disappointment at you.

“That’s a crazy thing to admit out loud, Y/n-”

“Shut up ,” You shove him, tossing his phone back and then pointing at the TV. “Start swiping.”

He relaxes back into the couch with a laugh, and the three of you eat your dinner with the entertainment of the night.

–

“Pass.”

“Aw, she’s cute.”

“Exactly. Girls who are cute usually can’t handle me.”

“...Was that a reference to his personality or to sex?” You ask, eyeing Tadashi fearfully.

He shakes his head beside you. “Better not to ask, I fear.”

Tsukki’s suspicious grin is enough for your lip to curl in disgust.

“Ew.”

“I’m just being honest,” He shrugs, unapologetic.

You lay a hand on his shoulder, speaking down to him like he’s a child. “Well, if you don’t start swiping right on cute girls, your contract’s going up in flames, sweetheart.”

“ Ugh -” Tsukki groans loudly, throwing his phone down on the couch. “This isn’t working. None of these girls are the right fit.”

“Then maybe your standards shouldn’t be literally impossible to meet!” Yamaguchi throws his hands up in exasperation. “We’ve been at this a whole hour, and you’ve only swiped right on one girl.”

“Yeah, but she had nice tits,” He admits plainly.

You and Yamaguchi stare, deadpan. “You’re terrible,” You say eventually.

“Yeah,” Tsukki sighs. “I know.” He takes a breath, and then he’s turning to you with wide eyes. “Oh, hey! You have nice tits, too – you be my girlfriend.”

Yamaguchi promptly chokes on his drink, and you reach to yank the pillow out from under Tsukki’s head.

“Stop-” You smack him in the face with it repeatedly. “-Being. Gross.”

“It was a compliment!” He laughs, blocking his head and then catching the pillow with ease. You enter into an unwilling match of tug-of-war. “And I already know our personalities work together, so I don’t have to go through the pain of a talking stage!”

You eye him with suspicion, pulling the pillow toward you. “You’re not actually considering this.” You look back at Yamaguchi. “He’s not actually considering this, right?”

Your friend just stares, shocked.

Tsukki pulls hard on the pillow, catching you off guard and launching you toward him. “Oh, I most certainly am.”

“Tsukishima Kei-” You tug, hard. He resists. “Get that thought out of your head right now.”

“Come on-” He argues. “We are clearly a match made in Heaven.”

“In Hell, you mean!” You laugh. “There’s no way!” You look at Yamaguchi in panic. “Help me!”

The man just shrugs uselessly. “This conversation wasn’t on my bingo card for the year. I’m stumped.”

Tsukki rolls his eyes. “Come on, Y/n. It’s not like you’ve got guys lined up outside your door-”

“How would you know?” You snap, a little offended. “I could be going on dates every night-”

“When would you have time for that? You’re with me most nights.” He leans in, a wicked gleam in his eye. “Even more evidence that we should just date.”

“Get away from me-” You push him back with your foot, putting distance between you. He just grabs your ankle and pulls you toward him, and you scream as you’re dragged down the length of the couch. 

Tsukki starts to clamber over you, but that finally sets Yamaguchi in motion, the boy standing quickly and yanking Tsukki by his hair back to the other side of the couch.

“Play nice, you freak,” He says, smacking the blond hard on the forehead. Tsukki just laughs, one of those rare laughs that makes you forget why you were ever mad in the first place.

“Okay, okay!” He yells, struggling to be freed from Yamaguchi’s torture.

You crawl back to your corner, kicking him for good measure while you go. “You’re fucking crazy.”

“Come on, Y/n,” Tsukki argues, still smiling wide. “This is literally a win-win.” He fixes himself, keeping an eye on Yamaguchi while he talks, because the freckled boy is grabbing a magazine off the coffee table and rolling it up. “We’re good together.”

“This is only a win-win for you,” You fight, listing things off and ticking them on your fingers as you go. “You’re annoying, arrogant, have poor impulse control and a short temper, and– importantly – we don’t even like each other!” You throw your hands out as best you can, emphasizing it. “Why would we date when we’re not attracted to each other?”

He doesn’t answer, only flicking his gaze down the length of your body appreciatively before meeting your eyes again. He sees that you’ve seen it, your gaze wary, and he grins wickedly.

“Who’s ‘we’?” 

That earns him a rolled magazine to the head.

“I’m just saying,” He laughs. “Just think of how much Management would like it if I found a girlfriend right away, and one that they know is good for me-”

“Alright-” You plant your feet on the floor with an irritated sigh, suddenly tired of this conversation. “-don’t bring them into this to guilt-trip me.” You stand, clearly making to leave.

Tsukki’s smile drops, and he stands quickly, his jokes forgotten. “What? Wait-” His eyes are wide, betraying genuine surprise. You frown, and his eyes track it. He gauges your annoyance, seeing that it’s starting to tip into something more.

“Okay,” He breathes, suddenly quite serious. He holds his hands out toward you carefully, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you back to the couch with him. Yamaguchi perches on the arm of the couch, observing quietly.

“That’s not what I meant,” Tsukki tries. “I actually kinda do think we’d be good together.” When you don’t seem to believe it, he tries again. “And I’m not trying to guilt-trip you. I do think Management genuinely knows that you’re good for me-”

You know that, too. You know that Management has always liked you. That’s why this idea scares you just a little bit.

Because it’s feasible.

“No one’s going to believe that we’re together if we clearly-” You swallow hard and gesture between you. “-don’t have that kind of kind of chemistry, Tsukki.”

He shrugs. “It’s not that hard to act. We have the friendship chemistry, so we’re not uncomfortable. We would just need to add-”

“Holding hands? Kissing? Entirely different body language? Clear physical attraction?” You argue, lifting your brows.

He nods like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “Yeah. That’s not that bad.”

You level him with a meaningful look. “Tsukishima.” You smile bitterly when he blinks at the use of his full name. “ Look at me.”

Tadashi makes a noise of protest over Tsukki’s shoulder, clearly disapproving of where you’re going with this, but the blond just stares.

“I am looking at you.”

You laugh, shaking your head and standing again. “Good luck with Tinder, Tsukki, but I’m outta here-”

There’s a 6’3” wall in your way when you try to leave.

“You really need to get over that shit.”

You whip your head up to look into Tsukki’s eyes, affronted.

“ Excuse me?”

He’s unyielding, golden eyes hard on yours. “I’m not taking that as a valid reason. Come up with something else if you really don’t want to do this.”

“Tsukki-”

“Give me a better reason, Y/n.”

“It makes no sense, Tsukishima!” You scoff, all but laughing in his face. “Not a single person is going to believe that we’re together. We’re going to look stupid together-”

“I don’t think we look stupid together,” He cuts you short, turning to Yamaguchi. “Do you think we look stupid together?”

Tadashi flicks his gaze back and forth from Tsukki’s to yours, clearly torn. When he sighs and it becomes clear he’s about to take Tsukki’s side, you gape at him.

“Yamaguchi!”

He gives you a regretful look. “It’s not unreasonable , Y/n. People already wonder what you two are, anyway.” He rolls his eyes when you stare at him in disbelief, lifting his hands helplessly. “We all know you balance him out. Think of the good you could do, whipping this idiot into shape.”

Tsukki turns to you with a victorious smile, eyebrows lifted. “Consider me whipped.”

You groan, snatching your bag off the floor and pushing past them. “Goodbye.”

Tsukki’s slipping his shoes on at the door with you, only snatching his keys from the bowl when you shoot him a questioning glare.

“It’s getting late,” is all he says as he props the door open for you.

You’re about to remind him that 7pm in the summer is not that late, but the flash of a camera catches your attention. You turn, shielding your eyes from the paparazzi snapping pictures at the end of the driveway.

“Don’t you have a family to spend time with or something?” Tsukki says over your head, his voice tense.

You elbow him hard. “You really gotta stop giving them what they want,” You grumble, stomping down the front steps. The blink of Tsukki’s headlights and the gentle purr of his car remote-starting is the only response he gives you, and you trudge over to the passenger-side door. You wave tiredly at the cameraman standing just past the gate and give him a smile.

“I’d love to say he’s above hitting you with his car, but he’s having a bad day.”

The man chuckles at your joke. “I suppose I shouldn’t take any chances, then.” He takes a few more photos, but he steps out of the way regardless.

Tsukki stares at you when you settle in next to him with a sigh.

“How do you do that? I had to break a guy’s camera to get his ass off the hood of my car.”

You shrug, closing your eyes and leaning against the headrest. “It’s not groundbreaking work, Tsukki. Try being nice once in a while.”

He drives you home in silence.

You keep your eyes on the sideview mirror, watching the unmarked van that’s trailing the car the whole way there.

What would be the difference, really, if you pretend to date Tsukishima Kei? You already get followed home and to classes. You already hear all the whispers when you walk anywhere with him. You’re already all over the internet, comments about your body plastered everywhere for the world to see.

It doesn’t really matter that you’re not interested in Tsukki, does it? It’d be laughable for anyone to question that you could fall for him – he’s tall and objectively gorgeous. Everyone wants him.

The issue is you.

You’ve seen the girls he goes home with at parties.

Your eyes shift from the unmarked van to your own reflection, and you chuckle under your breath.

Yes, you’re good for Tsukishima Kei – you manage his unacceptably short temper. You support him unconditionally and keep him in check. You always have. You’re everything Management needs from him.

But the issue is still you.

“Would you cut it out?”

You blink, turning to look at Tsukki’s side profile while he drives. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel, the other tapping an irritated rhythm on the middle console. He shifts his eyes briefly in your direction before lifting them to watch the van behind you, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

“What?” You say, the silence in the car a bit suffocating.

“I’m asking you to cut it the fuck out. Whatever’s going on in your head – cut it out.”

You lift a brow. “And what would that be?”

“I don’t know, Y/n – whatever insane shit you think about yourself.” He shakes his head, pulling into the parking lot of your apartment complex. Thankfully, it’s a big one with hundreds of units, and the paparazzi have always had the sense not to follow you in.

He pulls up to the main door, putting the car in park and leaning back in his seat with a tight sigh. You both watch the van pull up in front of you, the man on the passenger’s side hopping out and snapping photos of the two of you staring back at him.

“Look,” He says quietly, in a way that reeks of an oncoming argument. You can see him gripping the middle console like he’s stopping himself from getting out of the car. “I know what people say about you. The comments they make about your body and your looks and everything else.”

You stare out the window, nodding. It’s amazing how desensitized you’ve become to the barrage of flashing lights that comes with Tsukishima Kei. “I’ve been hearing it since we were kids-”

“Yeah, exactly. Since we were kids , Y/n. Are you gonna let this be an issue for the rest of our lives?”

You look at him, your skin flushing with anger. “What are you trying to say? It’s not like you have the same problems I do.”

He meets your eyes, gaze burning. “I’m telling you to get the fuck over yourself. Are you gonna listen to a bunch of assholes who don’t matter? Or are you gonna listen to me ?” When your jaw drops, he pushes. “If you don’t want to do this, that’s fine. I’ll let it go. But not if this is your reason.”

“My reason, Kei -” You spit, matching his anger. “-is that I don’t feel like being the laughing stock of your little fanbase.”

“And you think this is gonna stop them?” He smiles, but it’s irritated. “You want me to find some supermodel to date? You think they won’t make comparisons between you and the girl on my arm?”

You hadn’t thought of that.

That you wouldn’t be the pathetic, pining girl trailing after Tsukishima Kei anymore.

You’d be the jealous friend.

Pathetic, pining, jealous little Y/n.

A light flashes in your periphery, and a headline flashes with it – a week from now, when the Sendai Frogs have confirmed his new, unnamed girlfriend to the public.

Tsukishima Kei and Friend Y/l/n Y/n Seen Arguing – New Relationship the Cause?

You’re unable to stop the aggravated growl that spills out when you sigh through your nose.

“They think they know who you are, Y/n. But they don’t. They fucked it up.” Tsukki keeps your gaze locked on his – his eyes are dangerous, like he’s predicting the headlines, too.

He leans toward you. “So show them,” He says. “ Show them who you are.”

You lean forward, too, your face a little too close to his. 

“And how do you suggest I do that, Kei?”

The camera flashes, and your chest flickers with some unknown excitement.

His smile is wicked, mocking.

“ Fix me.” He lifts a brow when you glare, doubling down. “Or be the girl that watches someone else do it.”

You kind of want to kill him.

–

You lie facedown on your bed for hours that night, listening as Kiyoko laughs on your couch. She lives in the same complex, only a few floors above you, and she’d made the long journey all the way here just to laugh at you.

She stays with you the whole night, laughing until she cries. And then she laughs some more, because that picture of you in Tsukki’s car is already circulating the internet.

“You’re so fucked,” Kiyoko heaves between breaths, sometime around 2am. She’d moved to the bed with you hours ago, scrolling through Twitter and showing you some of the more unhinged reactions to the photo.

[12:24 AM] TsukkiFan0927 : no because they MUST be fucking????

[1:07 AM] user9329348 : those two have always been so shady together,,, no way that this is new

[1:46 AM] TsukkiYnShipper : TSUKKIYN NATION WE RIDE AT DAWN

You just groan, dragging your phone out and pulling up your text thread with Tsukki.

[2:09 AM]

You: my life would be so peaceful without you in it

He responds immediately.

Tsukki: ill pick you up tomorrow <3

Tsukishima Kei is nothing but trouble.

–

There are an unusual amount of paparazzi outside your apartment complex the next morning.

You stop short when you exit the building, taken aback.

Everyone stares back, no lights flashing. They just stare.

“Uh-Good morning?” You say, blinking at the group of about 15 people. One or two wave in greeting, but no one else wants to break the seal.

No one wants to ask, not yet.

You pull out your phone, about to text Tsukki to hurry the fuck up before things get weirder, but you hear the purr of his car pulling into the lot before you can send it.

The seal breaks all at once.

You lose sight of the car, flashing lights all going off at the same time and effectively blinding you.

You hear your name, over and over again.

“ Y/n, is it true? ”

“ Over here, Y/n! ”

“ What did you two talk about in his car last night, Y/n ?”

There’s a hand on your arm, wrapped tight around your bicep. You inhale sharply, worried that you’re about to be mauled on the very first day of dating Tsukishima Kei.

“ Move your feet, dumbfuck. ”

Oh. It’s him.

“ Mm-kay ,” You mumble, letting Tsukki drag you to his car and all but throw you in the front seat.

Somehow, the lights are worse in here, and you can’t tell if your name is still being called or if that’s just an echo ringing in your ears.

Tsukki climbs in beside you and slams the door. “Put your seatbelt on.”

“Why?” You ask, already grabbing for it. 

He shifts gears jerkily, and you go flying against the door as he peels out of the lot.

“Tsukki!” You scold, hearing his tires squeal against the pavement.

“You were too slow,” He jokes, eyes on the rearview mirror. You turn, spotting the army of vans that are following behind him.

“Dude,” You breathe, sinking down into the seat. “It was one picture .” 

“Regret anything yet?” He says, catching the light just before it turns red and leaving all the vans behind.

“I regret everything,” You say without hesitation. “All of it. Every second.”

When he doesn’t respond, you turn to him. He’s got his eyes on the road and the mirrors, seemingly calm. But his teeth wear down on the inside of his lip, and he’s not sparing you a single glance.

You sigh, nudging him gently. “I’m kidding.”

He gives easily, lip released from its torture. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, Tsukki. It’s fine.”

“We’re good?”

“We’re good ,” You say, smiling when he scoffs. “It’s better than me being labeled the sad, jealous friend while you date some airhead that’s after your fame and fortune.”

He grins then. “Aw, you’re not that much of an airhead.”

“Let’s break up.”

He laughs the whole way to campus.

–

You finally understand why Tsukki snaps at the paparazzi.

They’re everywhere – outside your classes and at your favorite cafe. Just two of them, but you’re uncomfortably familiar with them by the end of your second class. You’d given up sometime around lunch, turning in place on your way to the dining hall and asking if they just wanted to walk with you instead of trailing behind.

You eat your lunch with Hiro from SMZ and Nariko from Sendai Sports that day. You don’t answer a single question of theirs, just smiling and spooning rice into your mouth as you ask about their lives instead.

They’re bemused at your strange approach, and you play this game all afternoon with them – by the time Tsukki’s practice is over, you’re hoping you’ve gained at least some of their favor. 

Hopefully, they’ll post nice things about you. Only the good photos, maybe.

Still, the air shifts when they realize you’re heading for the university’s gym – Tsukki practices on campus with a private coach in the afternoons, going to the Frogs’ gym to practice after classes are done. 

You can see them itching to lift their cameras, itching to ask the same questions again.

When did it start? Are you official? How did it happen?

The building comes into view, and you spot his blond hair near the entrance. You clear your throat.

“So… I think I’m gonna have to leave you here,” You say, gesturing around you now that you’re at the base of the stairs. 

They both look dejected, like they were hoping for an introduction. You just give them a thin smile and turn, hurrying up the stairs before they decide to stop being respectful of your boundaries.

Tsukki’s got his eyes over your shoulder as you approach.

“What’d they want?”

“To know my regular order at the dining hall,” You say simply. You stop a friendly distance away, seeing when he eyes the space between you. His smirk speaks before he does.

“You forgot a few feet.”

You grimace, taking a single step toward him. He takes the rest, his body brushing briefly against yours.

You look up at him expectantly. “How should I greet you?”

“However you want.”

“I wouldn’t suppose a friendly hug would do.”

A light flashes when he smiles down at you, and you’re wondering if the world’s ever seen it before.

“No,” He says, humored. “I don’t suppose it would. But a not-friendly hug might.”

You stare down at your shoes, thankful your back is to the cameras.

It’s a bit strange to realize, but you’ve never hugged Tsukki before. Not really.

A casual pat on the back, yes. The occasional side-hug, maybe.

But a hug – despite its simplicity, its lack of meaning – is not something you can ever remember doing with him.

You think of how you hug Tadashi, how you’d hug Hinata or even Kageyama after a game in high school. It’s so easy with them.

The idea of Tsukishima Kei wrapping his arms around you is… odd.

Very odd.

Still, you’ve wasted enough time already. It’s the only option.

You lift your arms, wondering if you resemble a petulant child, and Tsukki just grins and bends down, his bag slipping off his shoulder when he slides his arms around your waist. You’re pulled onto your toes, face hidden in the crook of his neck.

Hugging Tsukishima Kei is not what you’d expected.

You’d always seen him as some cold wall of annoyance – a big, dumb athlete who was always a little painful to smack on the chest after a crude remark. A boy who’d always been rough, who’d grown strong and become some untouchable statue made of cold marble.

But he’s not cold at all.

The air around him is warm, smelling just slightly of sweat from practice but more than anything of that scent that’s distinctly Tsukki . That clean smell that you’d unknowingly grown to associate with comfort. That unplaceable warmth that smells like your childhood.

His hands are bigger than you’d realized, fingers long and warm against the small of your back. His chest is just as hard as always – that unmoveable wall that towers over you – but it feels weird against yours. It feels weird to feel his heartbeat – have you never felt his heartbeat before? Has he always had one?

You wonder if he can feel that your cheeks burn against his neck, if the heat is notable in this little pocket of quiet you’ve found. If your skin warms under his fingers, which rest strangely against the spot where your shirt’s ridden up a bit.

“ How was practice? ” You mumble shyly against his throat, feeling when he swallows hard. You can’t decide if it’s his heart or your own that you’re hearing right now, pounding somewhere near your ears.

“‘ s fine, ” He says, and you hear the hitch in his breath. 

This is weird for him, too, then.

Good. That’s good. This is weird for both of you. You’re not alone in this.

You pull away, clearing your throat quietly. Tsukki lets you slide carefully down to your feet, his fingers skimming the skin under your shirt just before he pulls away, his movements rushed and sharp.

Your skin burns where his fingers had been, and trying to ignore it only makes you more aware of it.

You glance briefly up at him, unable to control the double-take you do when you see him. He won’t meet your eyes, but his face is radiating heat, a blush high on his cheeks and his ears a rather interesting shade of red.

You watch him glance at your ears, too, and the tiny smirk he suppresses tells you that you don’t look much better.

You swallow, wondering where the hell this humming under your skin’s come from.

“Uh-” Your breath catches when his golden eyes meet yours, and you recover clumsily. “I have-”

What do you have? 

Class.

“I have to get to class,” You blurt, blinking rapidly.

He just blinks back, as though he’d also forgotten why you’d met him here.

“Right,” He says. “Class. I’ll walk you.”

“Okay,” You respond, turning on your heel and heading down the stairs. You hear him follow after you, but then there’s a hurried shuffle behind you, the lights of the paparazzi flashing in a frenzy.

You turn back quickly, finding Tsukki tripping over his own feet to get back up the stairs, his bag left abandoned at the top.

You can’t help the wide smile that spreads across your face, and you know the flashes that follow are for you.

Tsukki snatches his bag up and turns to you, spotting your teasing grin before you can smother it.

He rolls his eyes, stomping to catch up with you.

“Shut up.”

You laugh the whole way to the crosswalk.

–

Kei doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.

He doesn’t understand why he feels so skittish, why his fingers are a bit numb. He doesn’t know why he keeps looking at you, what he could possibly be searching for when he watches you.

His eyes scan you while he walks you across campus to your next class. He barely notices the people whispering around you, his gaze tracking the uneven rise and fall of your chest and the white-knuckled grip you have on your bag.

Okay. So you felt it, too.

Good. He’s not crazy.

The memory of your skin under his fingers flashes through his mind. You’d been so soft – he hadn’t realized how soft you are. He’d never even considered it. Soft and warm, heartbeat racing against his chest and arms wrapped tight around his neck. Breath shaky and fanning out over his skin when you’d whispered something about practice.

His fingers itch to touch you again, because he’d never thought to do that, either.

Fuck. He probably is going crazy.

He clears his throat, watching when your fingers twitch on your bag in response.

“We, uh-” He lets out a breath, seeing your building come into view and wanting to say something – anything – to smooth this silence over before you leave. “-probably shouldn’t do things for the first time in public like that again.”

It works. You laugh under your breath. 

“Why? Scared to look like an idiot again?”

Okay, it’s at his expense. But you laughed.

“I’m sure you didn’t look so great yourself,” He says, biting down a grin when you smile.

“That’s too bad,” You say, a teasing edge in your tone. “I was just about to hold your hand.”

Kei chokes, his cough loud and embarrassed. He shoots you a glare when you glance up at him in amusement.

“I swallowed a bug.”

“A bug,” You repeat, nodding and turning away to hide your laugh. “Still think it’s so easy to act, Tsukki?”

He wants to go back in time and beat his past self into shutting the hell up for once.

But that’s not an option, so he just braces himself and shifts minimally closer to you, the back of his hand brushing up against yours. 

He feels you falter beside him, and it gives him just enough courage to do it.

Your hands are a lot smaller than he’d realized. But your fingers slot easily with his.

He can’t tell if it’s his hand or yours that’s clammy, but he’s tempted to say it’s yours because this has never once happened to him before. Not a single one of the girls he’d ever dated had made his palms sweat, so it can’t be him. Had any boys before him ever made you nervous like this?

Had there been any boys before him?

“Is this your first time?” He vomits those words right out, hating every fiber of his being once it’s done.

You look up at him, so taken aback that you visibly become less nervous. “Holding hands with a boy?” You say, smiling mockingly. “No, Tsukki. This isn’t my first time. Sorry to disappoint.”

He rolls his eyes, flushing. “Not what I meant.”

“I know.” You laugh to yourself, pausing outside the building where he’s meant to leave you. He can see people lingering, but no one’s close enough to hear your conversation.

“You know I’ve had boyfriends before, right?” You level him with that teasing look you always have.

Had you? Had he known that?

Oh, God , you totally had. He remembers now, the guy from first year whose face he’s forgotten. And the summer fling after him.

He knows this. Of course he knows this – why hadn’t he remembered?

How far had you gone with them? Had you told him?

“So,” He swallows. “You’ve…” He trails off and hopes you’ll understand, but you just frown up at him. He sighs. “You’ve done… everything, then?”

Your expression changes to one of alarm, and he all but feels the air between you warm.

“ Why ?” You ask, your tone sharp and your voice lowered to a whisper. “Do you plan on changing the answer if I say no?”

Kei’s heart flies to his throat, and his face burns with a horrible, horrible heat.

“No, I-” 

Why the fuck had he asked you that? Why does that matter? What’s he so curious for?

“Y/n,” He starts, holding tight when you start to pull away. He hadn’t even realized you were still holding hands. “Fuck. That’s not what I meant.”

Your face is still burning with embarrassment, and you mumble a response up to him, glancing around.

“You know that’s not gonna happen, right?”

“ Yes- ” He sighs, frustrated and more than a little humiliated. “I’m not expecting-It was a stupid question. I was just curious.”

“You gonna be okay, player?” You ask, and he thinks maybe he’s just seen the ghost of a teasing grin on your face, but he can’t tell. “You ever been celibate before?”

“God, please leave me the hell alone,” He groans, laughing pathetically and dropping your hand to rub the heat out of his cheeks. You definitely smile then, suddenly enjoying his embarrassment more than anything. 

He realizes after a moment that people are starting to file out of different buildings – it must be passing period, then. 

“You should go,” He says, nudging you toward your building. 

You nod, stepping back toward him and lifting onto your toes to wrap your arms around his neck again. His breath hitches, and he barely manages to loop his arms around your waist.

You’re just as soft as you were the first time.

You lower away from him, and he realizes distantly some other students are taking photos and whispering. But you just smile briefly up at him, your voice gentle.

“Not so weird that time.”

Was it not?

He nods dumbly and smiles when you wave bye.

When you’re gone, he has no clue what to do with himself. What is he supposed to be doing right now?

Class in an hour and practice downtown afterward. Right.

He turns on his heel, ignoring everyone’s stares and trying his hardest to squash the stupid look on his face as he walks back toward his car.

He’s about halfway there when his phone buzzes with a text.

[2:47 PM]

You: and for your stupid information

You: i have done a lot

You: but no

You: i have not done everything

You: goodbye

Kei has to take a seat on the nearest bench, ignoring the paparazzi and random underclassmen that are following him.

He sits and stares down at nothing, wondering why the thought of you being a virgin is making his head spin and his ears ring. Wondering – as he drops his head into his hands and sighs loudly – why his palms are so fucking sweaty.

–

“You told him what ?”

You groan, throwing yourself back on your mattress. Kiyoko clambers onto the bed after you, shaking you violently.

“ Why would you tell him you’re a virgin?!”

“Because I am ?” You laugh pathetically, hiding your face in your hands. She just shakes you again.

“But why did you tell him ?!”

“I don’t know! He asked!”

“ What?! ” 

“ Kiyoko- ” You protest and turn over, assuming your standard face-down position of dread. “I don’t know. It just happened. And it was weird.”

“Well, what did he say-”

“Nothing!” You toss your phone next to her on the bed, hearing her unlock it and search through your messages. “Nothing, because there’s nothing he can say. It’s not like there’s anything to do about it.”

There’s a silence from her, one that prompts you to look at her. She just stares at you, disbelieving.

“I mean,” She starts. “Do you know that for sure?”

You hide your face again. “Shut up. We agreed that things wouldn’t get that far. There’s literally no reason for us to ever do that.”

“No, I get that-” She coughs, and you figure that she’s hiding a laugh. “-but he did ask… and you did tell him…”

“ Kiyoko, ” You whine, pulling your pillow over your head for good measure while you complain, your voice muffled. “ I can barely hug the guy without it being weird. ”

You hadn’t lied. It was definitely easier the second time, and even easier the third time, when he’d picked you up from your last class and driven you home before he’d left for practice downtown. 

It had not, however, been a comfortable ride home, because you two had just sat in uncertain silence – uncertain, because neither of you could fathom why you would ever tell him how far you’d gone before him.

And it had not been easy the fourth time he’d hugged you, in front of your building and about ten reporters. Because he’d turned his head just enough to brush his lips tentatively over your cheek, and you’d stilled in his arms, your face thankfully hidden in his chest again.

You couldn’t bear for the internet to see the look on your face the first time Tsukishima Kei had ever kissed you.

He’d gotten into his car and driven off, and you’d run upstairs and called Kiyoko without a second thought.

You can barely hug him, and that sad excuse for a kiss had put you on high alert.

There’s absolutely no world in which it would be natural for you to have sex with Tsukishima Kei. No world in which it could ever be considered.

“Okay,” Kiyoko laughs when you groan in fresh embarrassment. “I’m sure you’ll get used to doing the smaller things in public with him.”

You’re about groan again, but a quiet ding comes from Kiyoko’s palms.

“Uh-” She cuts short, and your stomach flips nervously.

“ What’s it say? ” You mumble, knowing it’s him.

She clears her throat awkwardly, and your nerves worsen.

“He wants to come over.”

You wither, there in your hiding spot, and mumble a pathetic response. 

“ Okay. Sure. ”

–

“Do you… want to shower?” You gesture lamely down the hall to your bathroom, Tsukki standing awkwardly in the foyer with his bag.

You see him swallow hard, and you realize how it’d come out.

“Because you’re gross,” You blurt, watching his eyebrows fly up and his tense expression become a teasing grin.

“Yeah, I got it the first time, Y/n,” He says, padding into your living room. “But thanks for clarifying.”

You flush, watching him drop his bag and head for your dresser. He plucks a set of his own clothes out of the bottom drawer, chuckling to himself as he does it.

“I probably shouldn’t stay long. If I leave in different clothes, things’ll get weird downstairs.”

And then there’s silence, because he’d said it without considering the rather salient implications of that sentence.

You sigh when the bathroom door clicks shut, falling onto your bed and contemplating hiding your face again.

He emerges after ten minutes, as you’re texting a very nosy Kiyoko. He stares down at you until you nervously lift your eyes to his. And then he takes a breath.

“We good?”

You hadn’t realized how much you needed such a simple question.

“Yeah,” You say with a breath of laughter. “We’re good.”

His relief is apparent in the way he throws himself down beside you and extracts his own phone, opening Twitter. You’re both quiet for a while, scrolling through his feed together and seeing that his name is trending.

“ ‘#tsukkiyn ’,” He says, snorting. “Look at us, going viral.”

You see a video of him tripping over his feet on the stairs of the gym, scrambling for his bag, and you purse your lips to keep from laughing.

“Look at you. You’re a wreck.”

“Shut up,” He laughs, scrolling past it to a photo of the two of you walking across campus. He’s got his fingers interlaced with yours – it must have been the moment he’d done it, because your eyes are bugged out with shock.

Tsukki laughs loudly, immediately liking and retweeting it without thinking. You gasp.

“ Tsukishima Kei- ” 

His notifications flood with replies and likes, the whole world seeming to react all at once.

[6:59 PM] tsukkiynstan77 : HELLO??? IS THIS CONFIRMATION????

[6:59 PM] kookooforkei : NO FUCKING SHOTTTTT NO FUCKING SHOT TSUKISHIMA KEI

[6:59 PM] sendaitsukki : I FOUND HER @ EVERYONE I FUCKING FOUND IT IT’S @/ynlovely !!!

“Uh oh,” Tsukki says under his breath, turning to look at you. You stare at him, a singular moment of silence between you before catastrophe.

Your phone starts to buzz incessantly, your notifications blowing up in a surge of sudden city-wide attention. You both stare at your phone screen, watching the notifications come in so fast that your phone starts to lump them all together.

15 New Notifications

16 New Notifications

17 New Notifications

99+ New Notifications

You stare at it, watching your phone glitch and struggle, and all you can do is laugh.

“Are you… Are you stupid?”

“I think so,” He says immediately, nodding beside you. “I definitely think that’s possible.”

A text notification stands out over the rest, its ding different than the others.

[7:01 PM]

Kiyoko: im going to assume your sudden lack of response means that youre fucking that man right now.

Your eyes go wide, and you drop your phone on your face in your haste to hide the screen. Tsukki coughs next to you, and you spot the telltale burn of embarrassment on his face as he turns away.

“ Fucking bitch ,” You mumble, snatching your phone up and rolling onto your side to hide from him.

[7:01 PM]

You: you fkin gbtich

Kiyoko: oh, did he see???

Kiyoko: oops :)) 

You hear snickering behind you, and you turn to find Tsukki peering over your shoulder at the texts. You gasp, and he reaches over to pluck the phone away from you.

“What do we have here?” He asks, standing from your bed and taking three giant strides to get away from you.

“ Tsukki! ” You roll off clumsily, chasing after him in a panic. “Don’t read those-”

“ ‘You need to kiss him for real ’,” He reads aloud, sidestepping you as you chase him all around your shoebox of an apartment. “‘ I saw the pics of him kissing you out front, that shit was pathetic- ’ What the fuck?” He stops, lifting the phone over his head to read it again. “I’m not pathetic -”

“Give me-” You jump, knocking the phone from his hand and onto the couch. “-my phone, you fuck.” You retrieve it, glaring up at him. “Those are private-”

“Was it really pathetic?” He asks, entirely caught up in this. “I thought it was fine.”

You roll your eyes, going into your notification settings and muting everything related to Twitter. “It was fine.”

He just pulls his phone out, and you catch him scrolling.

He’d searched for photos of the kiss.

“You’re joking,” You say, dropping down onto the couch and shaking your head. “It was fine , Tsukki.”

He just hums, unconvinced, and throws himself down, all but sitting on you. “Look at this.” He shows you a photo, zoomed in to where his lips barely touch your face. “That’s pretty bad.”

It is pretty bad.

You purse your lips, hiding your laugh when you see how he scowls down at his screen. “I’m sure we’ll get better at it.”

He doesn’t respond, just staring down at the photo. And then he locks his phone, tossing it down next to him.

“I thought it’d be easier than this.”

“I told you it wouldn’t be,” You say, smiling pitifully. “Regret anything yet?”

He snorts, shaking his head and combing his fingers through his wet hair. “Unfortunately, it looks you’re stuck with me. I talked to Management after practice.”

You shift, your interest piqued. “And?”

“They approved.” He throws you a half-laugh. “Obviously.”

“Do they know it’s fake?”

“Oh, please-” He waves your question away. “The whole team knows it’s fake. I was getting my ass handed to me 24 hours ago.”

You wring your hands together nervously. “And they’re all cool with it?”

“They like you more than they like me.”

“I barely know them.”

“Exactly.” He sighs. “Trust me, they want this to work just as much as we do. There’s too much riding on this.”

You nod, feeling a bit of relief seep into you. If the Frogs are on board with this, it can’t be a terrible idea, right?

“Anything they need me to do in particular?”

He shoots you a grin. “Make me a decent person?”

You grimace. “Bit above my pay-grade.”

He rolls his eyes. “They want me to have a social media presence. Pictures, tweets, teasing comments – that kinda thing.”

You blink. “So, earlier-”

“Come on,” He levels you with a deadpan stare. “You really think I’m stupid?”

“Extremely, yes.”

Tsukki just rolls his eyes, snatching his phone up and laying his body across yours.

“Smile, baby .” 

You spend an hour getting manhandled into different angles and positions, your debut as Tsukishima Kei’s girlfriend consisting of poorly shot selfies and a head of blond hair in your face.

“Go home , Tsukki,” You finally say, shoving him off of you and wiping your cheek where he’d just licked you like a freak. “You’re getting on my nerves.”

He just laughs, scrolling through his cursed camera roll. He picks one out from the collection of blurred shots and ugly laughing.

“What about this one?”

It’s one of Tsukki biting your face. Your eyes are squeezed shut as his mouth opens over your face, teeth clamped down on your cheek. You’ve got one hand curled into his hair, the other gripping the side of his neck as you try to shove him off of you, but it’s obvious you’re mid-laughter.

You stare down at it, hating that it’s perfect.

“Yeah, okay, fine.” 

Tsukki snickers, sending it to you. “You post it. It’s weird if I do it.”

You roll your eyes, opening Twitter and ignoring the million notifications in order to type a simple tweet with the photo attached.

[8:22 PM] ynlovely : freak. [photo attached]

It’s met with instant engagement, but Tsukki only adds to it, retweeting it just a minute later with his own comment.

[8:23 PM] tsukei : i got that dog in me

He’s out of your apartment before he has time to apologize, but – somehow – the headlines are faster.

Sendai Frogs Middle Blocker Tsukishima Kei Dating Longtime Friend: Confirmed

–

Despite the rocky start, things become surprisingly easy over the course of the next week.

The topic of kissing doesn’t come up again, but you find Tsukki making a habit of pecking you quickly on the cheek whenever you part ways, one hand in yours and the other on your waist. You follow his lead, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling him down to your height when you want to plant a kiss on his face, laughter shared between you when you find new and strange places to put it. One on the bridge of his nose, another on his jawline just under his ear.

One accidentally smacked against the corner of his mouth in your rush to get to class on Friday morning.

A photo of Tsukki crouching against the wall of your department had circulated Twitter only minutes after that, his face hidden in his hands but ears clearly burning a beautifully bright, summery red. 

You hadn’t realized it then – that one accidental moment could call into question the validity of your relationship with Tsukishima Kei.

–

Your eyes scan over the most recent tweets under the ‘ #tsukkiyn ’ tag as you sit in a cafe on Friday afternoon, a strange dread settling deep in your gut.

Everything before – the excited commentary and overwhelming chaos related to the announcement of your relationship – had been due to the novelty of it all. The newness of Tsukishima as a taken man.

But this photo, where it’s apparent that Tsukki is flustered and unfamiliar with you in a romantic capacity, brings to attention a lot of the assumed details of your relationship.

You skim the tweets that address the issue, Tsukishima fans and haters alike all asking the same questions.

Why would he be so caught off guard by a simple gesture of affection? Something that can’t even be considered a kiss?

Isn’t it the case that you two had been dating for a while in secret and are only now confirming the relationship publicly? 

Is it a bit suspicious that the announcement of a relationship had comes only hours after a series of reputation-ruining headlines for the Sendai Frogs’ most promising rookie?

And there, posted only mere minutes ago, is someone who’d half-guessed at the truth.

[12:20 PM] numberonekei : lol the frogs probably paid her to be his fake gf to make him seem more likeable. not like shes actually his type.

You lock your phone, throwing it in your bag with a sigh and reaching for your coffee.

Nariko from Sendai Sports is sitting only a table away. She’d been with you almost all week, and you’d come to find some strange comfort in her presence – she’s proven herself to be a normal human being just doing her job.

Even now, she looks up from some shots on her camera when you sigh, and you feel her looking you over.

“Rough day?”

You smile wryly, pulling some books out to get work done. “Just glad it’s almost the weekend.”

“That’s a vague answer if I’ve ever heard one.”

You laugh. “Any weekend plans?”

She waves her camera at you in explanation, and you nod with a hum of understanding. She eyes you just a moment longer before returning to her shots. 

“I’ve been curating only the best photos of you, if that makes your day any less bad.”

You snort into your coffee. “It does, thank you.” And then you swallow, figuring it wouldn’t be too much detail to mention some things to her. “Just getting used to it all. The attention.”

“People kind of suck, huh?”

“Kind of,” You agree, staring down at your textbook without really seeing it. And then you blink, shaking yourself out of it. “It’s fine. I’ll feel better once he gets here.”

She looks up at you again, and you find minor surprise in her expression. “Is he really that good of a boyfriend? He’s kind of…”

“An asshole?” You smile, enjoying the breath of laughter she lets out. “He’s… hard to explain. You gotta think about how this might all feel for him, too, I guess.” There’s a moment of silence, one where she looks like she might understand what you’re saying, but it’s interrupted by a quiet knock on the cafe window.

You look up, finding Tadashi and Kiyoko, both of them gesturing for you to join them. You furrow a brow, reaching over for your bag, but there’s a hand there already.

“I texted you, loser,” Tsukki says, opening your bag and closing your textbook. “What’re you dissociating about?”

He clearly had not seen Nariko sitting fifteen feet away.

You shake your head, helping him collect your things and hoping she views your dynamic as one of playful banter. “Nothing, you ass. It’s just been a long morning.”

Tsukki crouches next you then, taking your face in one hand and forcing you to look at him. “Yeah, you look like shit.”

“Thank you. I do try.”

He only stares, scanning your face. “What happened?” It’s less of a question and more of a demand.

“Nothing, Tsukki,” You say, trying to shake him off. “Let’s just go.” 

But he’s reaching for your phone, unlocking it before you can stop him.

“Tsukki, don’t-”

“What’s…” He stares down at your Twitter feed, at the tweet you’d last read. And then he rolls his eyes, sighing heatedly and throwing your phone back in your bag. “I fucking hate the internet. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

You frown slightly. That person had guessed at your fake relationship, but Tsukki’s denying it while thinking this conversation is private. Why?

He mumbles to himself as he finishes packing your bag. “ What would anyone know what my type is? ‘s bullshit .”

Oh. He’s trying to make you feel better.

“Just forget it, Tsukki,” You say, leaning forward and pressing your lips to the corner of his eyebrow. “I’m not that upset about it.”

“You clearly are,” He snaps. “I’m gonna start kicking people’s asses if they say shit to you.”

You roll your eyes, taking his hand and standing when he offers it to you. “No, you’re not. I’ll kick your ass if you try it.”

He just shrugs. “I’m just saying – teaching by example isn’t a bad idea.”

“Your stupidity amazes me sometimes,” You say, and then you turn to Nariko. “Have a good weekend.”

“I hope your day gets better,” She says, smiling kindly and avoiding eye contact with Tsukki.

He waits until you’re outside to awkwardly mumble, “Was she there the whole time?”

“Yes, she was. You’re just an idiot.”

“Who’s an idiot?” Kiyoko asks as you approach. When you gesture up at Tsukki, she smiles plainly. “Well, lucky for us, he’s just a dumb athlete and not a rocket scientist.”

Yamaguchi laughs a little too loud and is forced to run back to Tsukki’s car with the blond on his heels.

–

“So… Tsukki won’t tell me anything about how things are going with you two…” Yamaguchi leans in close to you. The Frogs have a home game on Sunday, so you sit with him and Kiyoko in the stands at their gym, half-watching their two-hour practice as you work on some assignments. 

You turn to the freckled boy now, an eyebrow raised.

“Okay…?”

He smiles, and you catch Kiyoko snickering to herself on his other side. She meets your eye and shrugs.

“Social media can only say so much.”

Yamaguchi nods, his smile conspiratorial. “A little hug here, a little kiss on the cheek there…”

“That’s about it, Tadashi,” You say slowly. His grin widens.

“Yeah? Nothing else?” When you don’t respond, he and Kiyoko start to nudge each other. “Nothing about someone’s virginity?” 

You gasp, flushing hard. It hadn’t come up again all week, and you’d nearly forgotten about it. 

“What the- fuck -” You shut your notebook and reach around Yamaguchi to smack Kiyoko with it. “You were not supposed to tell anyone!”

Kiyoko laughs as you hit her repeatedly. The ruckus catches the attention of some of the players below as they take a water break, and you’re met with Tsukki’s questioning stare, Koganegawa and Kyoutani on either side of him with bemused smiles. You wave lamely at them, aiming one last smack at your giggling friends before putting your notebook down.

“I needed someone else to join me in my exasperation,” Kiyoko says, leaning close and creating a secretive huddle for the three of you to whisper. “You two were acting weird and it had only been, like, 10 hours of dating.”

“It was just a fluke!” You whisper-yell, boxing Yamaguchi in as you argue. “It’s not exactly a smooth transition from 15 years of friendship into something romantic.”

“Something romantic , huh?” Yamaguchi throws a traitorous arm over your shoulder. “Do tell, Y/n.”

“You know what I mean. It was a rocky start, and there may or may not have been some oversharing along the way.” Your face is still hot from having to explain, but you want to cut these two off before they can start concocting stupid ideas.

“Yeah, well, you’re not out of the woods yet,” Kiyoko says, her grin a little evil. “I’ve seen what people are saying today – they’re not exactly convinced that you two are the Hallmark movie you need to be.”

You grimace. “What do you want me to do? We’re moving at a decent pace, I think.”

“ Decent pace ?” Yamaguchi snickers. “You kiss Tsukki the way I kiss my grandma.”

“I don’t have time to unpack that sentence, Tadashi,” You joke, wishing this conversation could end already. “But-” You sigh in frustration. “Fine. I see what you’re both saying. I just don’t know how to fix it.”

“It’s not like you need to give him a lap dance, Y/n,” He says. “But something needs to change before the game.” When you just stare at him blankly, he and Kiyoko share a look of disbelief. “You don’t think the whole world’s gonna be watching you that day?”

You deflate. You hadn’t even thought of that.

“What if they win, huh?” Kiyoko prompts. “You gonna give him a high-five, Y/n?”

Yamaguchi nods. “You at least have to kiss him. And if you’re really committed to this-” He glances over your head, eyes going wide as he leans in quickly to whisper in your ear. “- you’re gonna have to make it good. You know sweet, innocent girls aren’t Tsukki’s type .”

You blanche, remembering the joking way that Tsukki had hinted at cute girls not being able to ‘ handle ’ him.

“What are you three scheming about over here?”

You jump, turning quickly to see Tsukki standing over you, hand on hip and eyebrows furrowed in suspicion.

You swallow, shaking your head. “Nothing… Nothing-” You blink, clearing your head. “Practice done?”

He nods, hoisting his gym bag high on his shoulder. “Are we still drinking tonight?”

“Drinking?” You turn to look at your friends. “Where?”

Yamaguchi smiles and lifts his bag, and you realize only now that there’s a quiet clink every time he jostles it.

“Your place.”

–

“Oh. I brought this over.” 

Tsukki reaches into his bag, extracting a bright green Frogs jersey and tossing it at you. You catch it without looking, tipping another shot back into your mouth. 

The four of you are sitting on the floor around your coffee table, some bottles of liquor and your many preferred mixers strewn on the table with the shot glasses and three bowls of varied snacks. A random movie plays on your TV, the volume low and the plot serving as nothing more than background noise.

You squint at the shirt in your hand, his last name stretched in capital letters across the back. The letters double up and hover a little, your vision not what it should be right now.

“Your… jersey?”

“For Sunday,” He says with no other explanation, just reaching over the table to pour a shot of rum and a splash of Coke into his cup. It spills over the rim a little, and he has to shake his head to clear it as he’s putting the bottle down.

Your heart jumps a little, the reminder of Sunday bringing back Yamaguchi’s words.

‘You’re gonna have to make it good. ’

You glance at Yamaguchi now, seeing that he’s eyeing you with mischief. When he sees the panic tinging your expression, he grins.

“Yeah, Y/n ,” He says, giggling drunkenly. “You gotta look the part so people don’t say you’re not his real girlfriend.” He and Kiyoko lean heavy on each other, and he mumbles to her in a voice that’s a lot louder than he realizes. “ Gotta act the part, too. ”

You glance at Tsukki, finding him staring at the pair over the top of his glasses, his cup halfway to his mouth. His eyes narrow in suspicion at his roommate.

“ Yamaguchi …” He mutters. It’s suspicious, you realize – a warning. You glance between them, wondering what’s happened.

Yamaguchi catches you, his smile wicked. “I think he’s mad at me, Y/n.” He tilts his head toward, his whisper deliberately loud this time. “It’s just that he’s been so blushy lately. I’m dying to know why.”

“Soon enough, you’ll just be dying,” Tsukki says, downing his drink. 

Your head spins a little as you look around. Kiyoko and Yamaguchi are both red in the face, the vodka having gotten to them almost an hour ago. Tsukki, too, is undoubtedly drunk – his eyes are heavily lidded, his blinks long and slow. And his fingers rest on the rug, just slightly over yours.

That’s one thing about Tsukishima Kei that’s just so hard to believe – he gets touchy when he drinks. And even if his version of touchy is nothing more than fingertips brushing over the back of your hand every few minutes, it’s touchy nonetheless.

Unfortunately, you get touchy when you drink, too.

And it’s just so truly unfortunate, because your version of touchy isn’t exactly his version of touchy.

“Tsukki,” You start, his name heavy in your mouth. “Do you plan on winning the game on Sunday?”

His golden eyes cut to yours, narrowing with unspoken questions. “That’s usually the goal, yeah.”

You swallow, your heart pounding a little louder than usual. Your drunken mind had really thought he might say no.

“Why?” He asks, but you don’t hear him.

You just sit up on your knees, struggling to put your drink on the table before scooting close to him. You hear Kiyoko gasp behind you, she and Yamaguchi starting to smack each other’s arms when you reach out and take the front of Tsukki’s shirt with both hands.

His eyes widen, and he allows himself to be dragged toward you. “What-Y/n-”

You lean forward, stopping just shy of his mouth and sighing roughly. His breath catches in his throat, and you smell the rum on his tongue.

“Be quiet, Tsukki. For once.”

You can confidently say you’ve never tasted rum quite like this.

It’s quick, but the jolt to your system is sharp, a live wire in your veins.

You pull away with the hint of a gasp, your pulse drumming in your ears. Tsukki stares with wide eyes and parted lips. You think you hear Yamaguchi mumble ‘ Holy shit’ to Kiyoko, but you can’t spare any attention for it.

Tsukki’s eyes flick between yours and then back down to your mouth, and the drumming in your ears skips a few beats.

He leans in before you can pull away.

This kiss is as short as the last, but he lingers this time, alcohol tainting the air that hovers between your lips. You gather the courage to try again before he does, and it’ll only be later that you realize how relieved you are that he tangles his fingers in your hair and kisses you until his courage finds him, too.

His lips are softer than you’d expected – rough and assured, just like everything else about him, but soft nonetheless. You find yourself unshakeably curious to discover if they’re still as soft after just one more kiss. Over and over again, curiosity on repeat. Needing to keep testing it, because there’s an almost desperate need to keep finding out.

Just one more, you think, again and again. One more, and then you’ll stop. 

His other hand finds your thigh, palm searing hot against your skin, and his tongue brushes against your bottom lip just as his fingers slide accidentally under the hem of your shorts. Your heart jumps, and your teeth catch ever so softly on his lip. A sound escapes from deep in his throat, one that sounds suspiciously like a groan.

What an addicting little sound it turns out to be.

Just as Tsukki’s fingertips are digging into the plush skin of your thighs, Yamaguchi clears his throat loudly behind you. Kiyoko’s got her hand on your shoulder, pulling you away.

“Y/n,” She says gently, tugging on your sleeve.

You gasp, realizing what’s happened and reeling back quickly. Tsukki’s fingers tighten in your hair for just a second, but he lets you go almost immediately, his eyes wide as he comes to his senses, too.

“What-” He breathes, gaze flicking in a panic between your lips and your eyes. You stare back, your heart pounding in your ears and your head spinning like a carousel. “What was that for?”

You just scan him, watching as a blush blossoms furiously across his cheeks, his chest rising and falling rapidly. You blink, your voice muffled in your ear when you respond.

“Just practicing. For Sunday.”

And then you whirl around, your back pressed against the bottom of the couch as you stare emptily at the TV. Yamaguchi snatches the remote from the floor and boosts the volume until there’s no way you and Tsukki can have a conversation about this.

Kiyoko and Yamaguchi start to whisper furiously to each other after a few minutes, but you and Tsukki stay silent until it gets late enough that you all fall asleep.

–

You wake sometime around 3am, shifting and covering your eyes with a quiet groan when you realize the TV’s still on. The room is completely dark otherwise, so you have to search clumsily around the floor for the remote, still tired but thankfully not drunk anymore. 

You only realize Tsukki’s awake and sitting on the couch when you see that the remote is in his hand. His eyes are trained on the screen, unseeing, and he’s got his cup in his other hand. He flicks his gaze down to yours when he senses you looking at him.

“Too bright?” He mumbles, quiet enough not to wake your friends, Kiyoko sleeping on the armchair and Yamaguchi passed out on the rug. You shake your head, joining him on the couch and shivering slightly from the running air conditioner.

“Body heat,” You say plainly, and he rolls his eyes but allows you to press your side against his regardless. “You’re gonna be too hungover for practice tomorrow if you keep drinking.” You gesture to the cup in his hand, watching a slow smirk stretch across his face.

“What’s wrong?” He teases, setting both the cup and the remote on the table in favor of draping his arm around your shoulders with an mocking lift of his eyebrows. “Worried I won’t do well on Sunday? You must really want to kiss me.”

You don’t bother hiding the flush of your cheeks in the dark, too busy rolling your eyes. “You recovered quickly, Tsukishima,” You say, your tone just as airy and full of amusement when his eyes light up a little at the use of his name. “Alcohol got you feeling confident?”

“It had you feeling confident,” He counters, smirk deepening when he sees the embarrassment cross your expression. And then he leans into you, nose brushing against yours and breath fanning across your lips when he whispers to you.

You only realize he’s actually about to kiss you when his gaze drops to your mouth.

“ My turn .”

You suck in a surprised breath, unsure what to do with the excited flutter of your heart when his lips turn out to be just as soft as they were before. Your fingers slide into the hair at the base of his neck, and you shiver when his hand finds your waist, his palm heated even through your shirt.

“Still cold?” He whispers against your lips, angling his head and smiling when you lean into him. You shake your head, because you’re suddenly so, so warm, but then you realize his breath doesn’t smell like rum anymore.

“You were drinking water?” You ask, a flash of heat spreading from the crown of your head down to your toes when he just kisses you again with an amused hum.

“Did you really think I would risk being hungover tomorrow?”

You breathe unsteadily, goosebumps spreading all over your skin when he drops his head and brushes his lips against a spot just under your ear. “Why are you kissing me, Tsukki? You’re sober.”

His breath is warm when it fans out over your throat, his voice low in your ear and muffled against your skin. “ So are you. ”

Your stomach flips. He’s right.

“But I wasn’t the first time.” You lift your brows, mustering as much confidence as you can. “What’s your excuse? You wanna kiss me that bad, Tsukki?”

He lifts his head then, meeting your eyes evenly as a knowing look fills his expression.

“Just practicing, of course – for Sunday.”

The implication brings you pause, and then you laugh, covering your mouth so as to not wake your friends up. Tsukki watches you do it, a matching smile spreading across his lips.

It’s relieving, being able to laugh about this with him.

After an entire week of moments belonging to the public – moments that have meant too much, with too many eyes on them and too much on the line to risk messing them up – this is one moment that belongs only to you and him. One moment when you don’t have to think so hard.

Maybe that’s been the issue all along.

“Tsukki…” You start, meeting his eyes with an idea growing in your head. He hums, watching you closely. “What if we just… stop thinking so much about this?”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, only offering a long, slow blink. And then he tilts his head, the conspiratorial look in his eye all too enticing. You’ve been seeing that look your whole life.

“You wanna have some fun, Y/n?”

Maybe you’re just as much trouble as he is.

“I could be into that.”

–

It turns out that ‘ having fun ’ looks a lot like you sitting in the packed stands on Sunday afternoon, wearing the name TSUKISHIMA on your back and hiding your phone from your friends as you text him. Both teams are down below doing their pre-game stretches, and you wait for Tsukki to be near his bag pressing send .

You don’t hear the quiet ding from where you sit, but you see his blond head swivel around at the sound. He extracts the phone from his bag, and you watch him read the messages.

[1:21 PM]

You: in case you forgot

You: winning this game comes with the added bonus of me kissing the soul out of your body

You: in front of all these people

You catch the smile that creeps out just before he smothers it, and your own smile is hidden behind your hand. He looks around, searching the bleachers until he finds you. He shakes his head at you, typing rapidly and sending his response just as Koganegawa’s approaching him.

[1:24 PM]

Tsukki: dont threaten me with a good time, you freaky little dementor

Tsukki: you WILL be paying up when i make the winning point

You snort into your hand, locking your phone and waving off Yamaguchi and Kiyoko when they give you matching looks of interest. The intro commentary starts shortly after, with the teams greeting each other through the net. The game starts promptly at 1:30 PM.

True to his word, Tsukishima Kei makes the winning point at 2:58 PM. 

You watch in disbelief as his block sends the ball back over the net, spinning quickly and slamming against the floor between two players on the other team. You’re left stunned in your seat as everyone jumps up, the name on your back screamed across the entire stadium as Frogs fans celebrate yet another win at the hands of their star rookie.

Kiyoko grabs you and hauls you to your feet, and you can’t help the laughter that fills your body as you cheer alongside her.

By the time you find him in the mass of his teammates, Tsukki’s already looking right at you. His teammates all jump around him, shoving and hugging and clapping him on the back. 

But all he does is lift his arm, a single finger pointed right at you.

Yamaguchi makes a noise of surprise, and Kiyoko turns to you with a shocked smile.

“You’re not actually…?”

Tsukki crooks his finger twice, beckoning you to him with a satisfied grin.

'Show them who you are.'

Kyoutani sees you next, his smile widening as he cups his hands around his mouth and yells, in that deep baritone that shakes the room-

“ Kiss! ” 

Your laughter turns giddy, and you dart out into the aisle to get to the stairs. You take them two at a time, his oversized jersey fluttering behind you as you run down to the court. You hear the whispers and whooping all around you as the fans realize where you are and where you’re headed, but you ignore them in favor of meeting Tsukki halfway across the court.

The smile he gives you is that wild, genuine one that reminds you of your childhood – of playground sand boxes and toy dinosaurs, of excited storytelling and playing volleyball with Akiteru in their backyard.

Of a Tsukishima Kei who would pretend he knew nothing about why the class bully was suddenly sporting a bloody nose after making fun of your body – one who would pretend he couldn’t hear you when you’d say you weren’t hungry, only shoving a spoonful of his lunch in your mouth with that smile that would make you forget why you were crying in the first place.

That’s the Tsukishima Kei that picks you up now and spins you around like you weigh nothing, his arms wrapping around you while you tangle your fingers into his hair and kiss him like your life depends on it. He tastes like salt, and he breathes a laugh past your lips when the crowd starts to follow Kyoutani’s lead, the room erupting in cheers and the thunderous chant of ‘ Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! ’. 

“ Congratulations, ” You whisper against his mouth, wrapping your legs around his waist. A shiver runs down your spine when he holds you there, his grip on your hips and thighs possessive and his body flush against yours. 

You wonder if maybe he’d seen his life in your smile, too.

“ You gonna greet me like this at every game? ” He asks between kisses, the chanting and cheering becoming nearly overwhelming. 

“ Only if you win, ” You laugh, barely able to hear the response he gives you even in your little pocket of solitude.

“ Guess I should start training for Nationals.”

You’d forgotten how easy it is to have fun with him.

[woojungz]

park seeun x fem!reader 🌼🪁

❝ one shot

𓂃𓈒 helping your best friend (to whom you have a miserable crush on) buy valentines gifts for someone else was probably the worst decision you've ever made. but that's what besties are for, right?

word count: 4.4k

author's note: typed out the initial plot on my notes app at 3am, got dizzy, then passed out. i thought when im gonna begin to fully write this out it's gonna be like a 1k word count kinda thing, but then boom… 4k. i really need to get used to writing longer fics, i find that i get very impatient and that i want to get it all done quickly! (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠)

( likes and reblogs appreciated!♡ )

it’s monday again, your most dreaded day of the week. especially now in particular, thank god your classes were over, but the walk through the halls were a pain. not only were the valentine's day decorations already set up, but the student body was buzzing with all these talks about love, relationships, and couples.

you didn’t want to call yourself a hopeless romantic, but you couldn’t really toss away the sliver of thought that one day you’ll finally be able to understand all the fuss about valentines. so far, your advances when it comes to romantic matters weren't smoothly sailing. it’s just that… you’ve hit a rock when it comes to getting past the best friend level, as you call it.

and when you stop in front of his open locker door, you begin to recount the memories of your friendship and how all this one-sided romantic bullshit needs to come to an end once you graduate. thankfully though, you’re in your last year of high school, hoping to move to the far end of the city and forget about your silly crush.

you’re startled when he slams his locker door close, snapping you out of your thoughts. speak of the devil… you like to joke around that your neck might grow sore from the way you always have to look up at him.

“oh, y/n! perfect. i’ve actually been thinking about you earlier, wanna ask you about something.” his words melt into a chuckle as you nod in response. park seeun… the guy you have a silly little crush on. and of course you’re not gonna start having a session in your mind and ramble off about how dreamy and cool he is that you’ve developed feelings. enough of that corny nonsense. whatever it is, aside from the fondness you’ve developed with him being your best friend, you’re not really sure what’s drawn you in to want something more.

but hold on, what was he saying again? he’s been thinking of you earlier, and wants to ask you about something?

well… you were previously trashing on the cringiness of valentines and all but of course you can’t deny it—does he secretly have feelings for you and wants to ask you out on a date… for valentines?!

really, y/n. if those floating little angel and devil that hover on your shoulders do exist, they’d probably already smacked your head hard you’re gonna knock over.

let’s be real. it’s probably gonna be some dumb question that’s bound to piss you off.

“hm, what is it you wanna ask?” you reply, watching him sling his bag over his shoulder as you trailed beside him through the halls.

“i think it’s better if we talk about it somewhere by the bleachers.” his brow raises a bit, a grin tugging by his lips that you were so familiar with. he looks so charming right now, but you’re bringing those thoughts to the grave because for sure he’s never gonna let it go if you stroke his ego the slightest bit.

your lips parted at his response, raising your gaze back it him. “why at the bleachers though, can’t we just talk about it at some corner here?”

seeun begins looking around, seemingly in deep thought. “i wanna talk about it with you alone.”

oh. never in your life would you think that the same plot you’ve been witnessing in countless romance movies is finally gonna happen to you. there’s just no way he’s not gonna ask you on a date once you get to the bleachers by the football field. and add to that… he’s so serious right now you kinda miss the usual banter the two of you engage in everytime you’re together.

it’s just all clicking together too well… so you do your best in trying to suppress a squeal from your throat, ignoring the hammering beat of your heart in your chest. no way you’re gonna ruin the greatest moment that’s gonna happen in like what, five minutes? so you tune out the background noise as you wordlessly follow seeun to your destination, thinking of the perfect response to say when he asks you out on a date for valentines.

“oh… i don’t think i have any schedules past 3pm. i’d gladly go on a date with you!” well yeah dumbass… you guys have the same schedule that day so he knows what time you’re done. and what’s up with that last sentence, you sound too excited. that’ll totally not do...

“really seeun? i’ve been waiting…” gosh you sound like you’re utterly in love with him. well, if you don’t mind seeun making fun of how you’ve probably been crushing on him since forever, then go ahead. i’m just gonna leave a warning, you’re probably never gonna hear the end of it.

“you’re so sweet seeun, of course i’ll go with you.” the way you’ve managed to think of a worse response than the first two is honestly quite impressive.

argh… this kinda stuff is unexpectedly too hard, and you’ve got your stagnant love life to blame.

only when you hear the crackle of the grass beneath your shoes do you realize you finally reached the football field. seeun suddenly begins to run swiftly towards the bleachers as you follow suit. what do you expect from someone who self proclaims as your school’s messi.

you’re out of breath, laughing as you finally caught up to him. he doesn’t even look fazed from running, his hair a bit tousled by the wind. “so what is it then seeun… better make sure whatever it is you’re asking me is worth it. we had to walk all the way to the other side of the school building for this!” you tease, hoping to shake away the subtle nervousness inside you.

“alright then, i’m not gonna waste time anymore.” he stands closer to you now, hands in his pockets as you hold your breath.

“i need your help, i’m buying valentines gifts for someone else.”

oh.

and just like that, your fantasy was absolutely shattered.

“huh.” you snort, a frown immediately falling over your face. “why me…”

you look to the side, masking your disappointment with irritation. so he’s got a girlfriend now? how come you never saw him with someone else.

“well, wouldn’t you know what are the best gifts to get girls, since… you’re a girl yourself?”

you don’t know if your brows could get any more narrow than they already are. “park seeun logic i guess.”

“come on y/n! i never ask you for favors anyway.” he begs, hands together in a pleading pose.

“honestly i never expected you were the kinda guy to do all this romantic nonsense for valentines… thought your head was only full of bullshit.”

“what’d you say?!”

“full of bullshit. want me to spell it out for you?” you cock an eyebrow at him, but the way a giggle is starting to bubble up in his throat is suspicious. seeun suddenly holds out his arms, like he’s gonna tickle you once he gets his hands on you. “hey, hey—stop that or i’m not helping you out!”

your voice echoes throughout the field, starting a playful chase with seeun, running around in tiring circles over and over. you’re yelling as he catches up to you in no time, gripping onto your bag hung over your frame. you have his legs to blame, with the way every step of his is double the distance of yours.

and as you catch your breath, panting, you settled down on the grass with seeun claiming the spot beside you. you fish out your water bottle from your bag, along with a piece of paper and pen.

“don’t lose this alright.” you mumble, his attention towards you as he watches you scribble notes on the paper.

by a minute you hand it over to him, the tips of his fingers touching yours in the exchange, mentally slapping yourself from noticing the miniscule detail. got to move on from your silly crush right now, unfortunately.

he blinks at the inked words: flowers, chocolate, necklace, and… movie tickets

“i knew i could count on you! thanks by the way.”

“if it goes well for you then you have to order me chicken alright!” you were already starting to think of distancing yourself from him right after valentines, thinking it was the right move as he’s probably gonna spend most of his time with whoever his girlfriend is anyway. talk about a pity party while chowing down fried chicken.

“of course.”

you spare him a short glance at the reply before turning your head somewhere by the horizon. “i think i gotta go, the sun is gonna set in a moment.” standing up, you stuffed your water bottle back in your bag and dusted your clothes from the grass. you were about to walk away without a goodbye, but seeun was quick to catch your wrist.

“—wait, wait. one more thing.”

“what is it now.” you pulled your hand from his grip, preparing yourself for another one of his takes.

“can you accompany me tomorrow when i buy all this stuff?” he waves the now crumpled piece of paper, eliciting a huff from you.

“fine, whatever seeun. don’t need to act like i got a choice since you’re probably gonna drag me with you anyway!” you joke around with him, making the both of you laugh in unison. your eyes catch his one last time this afternoon, turning around to walk away from the field, his gaze never leaving your figure until you were just a blur in the distance.

it’s the day after you got indirectly rejected, yet you’re spending it with seeun.

“so, which flowers do you think are the best around here?” you watch as he points to a bunch of displayed bouquets on a shelf, awaiting your answer.

“i don’t know seeun… how about you ask the florist over there instead? they’re experts in this sort of thing.”

he looks back at you with his lips in a straight line, his hand sneaking around your wrist. “i wouldn’t be asking you to come with me here if i wouldn’t trust your opinion you know.”

to be fair, he has a bit of a point right now. you shake free from his grip, taking a step towards the shelf. “alright whatever, move aside and i’ll take a look.”

you inspect the rows on display, until a particular one catches your attention. seeun’s gaze never left you, and he swears he could almost see a spark within your eyes as you saw the bouquet.

“this one looks cute,” you pointed to your favorite one, seeun inching closer to you. “and the bouquet wrapping’s your favorite color too, isn’t it?”

you nod, eyes flickering to him. “yeah… but wait seeun, wouldn’t it be better if you buy one in their favorite color instead? feel like it’ll be a bit more personal—”

“nope, nope. i trust your choice so i’m getting that one.” he’s rushing over to the florist, huffing as you watch him make the purchase. he better not blame you if this backfires because of his stubborness!

you’re about to give him a rant about the whole scenario until you realize that he’d probably not listen to you since he’s so hardheaded, so you just remain silent. but as you’re walking with seeun on the way to the candy shop, you can’t help but notice everyone else looking at the both of you while passing by.

“what a sweet couple the two of you are!” you’re startled when an old lady suddenly blurts out as you walk by her on the sidewalk, shock riddled all over your face. you turn towards seeun, waiting for him to clarify that the two of you were indeed not a couple.

i mean, if you look at it from another perspective, some guy holding a bouquet of flowers along with a girl would definitely look like a couple. but seeun only laughs, leaving dead air in between every single one of you.

“oh, we’re just friends!” you chuckle, watching as seeun remains wordless, only releasing another laugh.

“what a shame, you look really good together,” the old lady adds, making you sheepishly smile at her.

seeun nods, initiating the two of you go on as he bids goodbye to the old lady. honestly, you were expecting him to quickly deny the allegation of being a couple, bracing yourself as he’d probably throw in a playful insult. something about how he’s never gonna be in a relationship with someone as crazy as you or whatever.

but it never came, and it made you even wonder why he was only laughing as the small talk ensued a while ago.

maybe he’s just busy thinking, right? you figured that must be the reason as he leads, approaching the candy shop nearby. yeah… he’s probably just thinking of all the sweets he might buy as you get there.

a little bell rings as you go through the door, eyes lighting up at the amount of candies and chocolates displayed all around.

seeun beckons you over to a display by the counter, wanting to choose from the selection of special chocolate bars the shop has prepared for valentines.

and he’s off again in his own little world, staring intently as you choose from the display. noticing the way you were beginning to pout subtly, even stepping closer to inspect the chocolates. “woah, this one has different flavors together. i’ll try this one soon once i get to come back some other time.”

seeun doesn’t wait a second to ask the cashier so he could purchase the one you were ogling on the display, teasingly waving the chocolate in front of you once he’s paid for it.

“hey park seeun! you know people have different tastes right, what if they don’t enjoy those flavors?” you strike a conversation as the two of you begin strolling by the sidewalk.

seeun scoffs, the bouquet and paper bags rustling with every step of his. “oh don’t worry about that, i’m sure they’ll like this. you know them very well anyway.”

“huh?! the hell does that even mean.” you send him a peeved look, trying to catch up to him as he starts speeding up his pace. “are you trying to say they’re in the same class as me?”

he continues to ignore you as he starts another playful chase by the street, not missing the grin tugging on his lips.

“hey! park seeun, stop being so cryptic. is that why you keep coming to our classroom?!”

your shouts faded into giggles as he turned a corner, suddenly knocking yourself on his back when you managed to catch up to him. “we’re already here by the way,”

at least you’re finally halfway done with this whole fiasco seeun invited you in. you can’t deny the growing sullen mood you’re feeling in your heart. there’s probably already a stormy cloud floating above your head and raining on you, except you’re not in some silly cartoon.

you begin to follow seeun inside the jewelry shop, the sparkle of displayed accessories were a blur as your mind kept running with countless thoughts.

all this time you were under the notion that seeun kept showing up at your classroom because he wants to hang out. you didn’t want to admit it, but the only conclusion that you could arrive on was that he’s probably just spending time with you because his girlfriend is in the same class as yours. you mentally facepalm yourself at how oblivious you’ve been all this time.

you snap out of it when he starts dangling a necklace in front of you, attention flickering towards the heart shaped pendant he laid over his palm. "this one's a bit cool isn't it? and it opens up so you could put a photo or something."

"hm, it's perfect if you wanna put a couple photo inside the locket!” you beam, meeting his gaze.

and he lets out a scoff, the same one he does whenever he's about to spew some nonsense.

"or... they could just put a photo of me! y'know, so they could look at it whenever they miss me or something."

he laughs at the way your expression fell, lips almost in a straight line as you glare it him. "i've honestly never met someone so full of themself like you."

"guess that probably means this ones the best choice out of all, gotcha!” you only scrunch your nose at him, feigning an eye twitch before he turns around to pay for the necklace.

you're honestly quite confused on how he could have you sinking into a sullen mood and have you reeling in irritation the next second.

park seeun you're such a mystery...

you were startled and greatly embarrassed when seeun’s voice blared throughout the hall of the cinema, earning a few sharp glares here and there. add to that… he was calling you by your name, walking towards him with your head hung low in shame.

“seeun! have some decorum, will you?” you kept your voice to a volume, landing a harsh slap on his arm. he hissed, rubbing the impact of your hit.

“yeah, yeah whatever. kinda your fault you’re standing too far away from me.” you acted as if you were gonna playfully smack him again, flailing his arms in front of him in defense. “i know you’re probably tired by now since we’ve been walking around since morning, but i’m sure you’ll love this one.”

he cheekily grins before pointing to the poster stuck on the wall, and seeun swears he’s seeing the same glint in your eyes again. “wasn’t this the movie you were spamming me about days ago?”

“yeah but—” you take a step forward before getting interrupted by seeun.

“great! then i’ll go ahead and buy tickets for this now, seems like a fun movie for a date, don’t you think?”

he’s quick to rush towards the counter, the squeak of his shoes fading away as you remain slumped in front of the movie poster. the same movie you’d always talk to him about, to the point of gushing over it, even. seeun knew how much you loved that movie series after begging him to watch it with you every time he’s over at your house.

when you found out about the news that it’s getting a new movie in theaters around this time of the month, you wasted no time in getting tickets for the two of you in advance, planning to invite him for a movie hang out right after valentines—having expected that seeun will share the same sentiments as you, that valentines was pure bullshit and that he’d rather spend a day with his best friend than all that lovey-dovey nonsense.

guess not anymore. as you follow him out of the cinema, you couldn’t care less about what he was babbling about, his voice a mere blur as you hear it. sinking into this miserable reverie of having to probably drop your fixation towards your favorite movie series, because now it just reminds you of him. how he inadvertently rejected you.

“are you okay y/n? you’ve been out of it ever since we started walking to the bus stop.”

curse seeun and his hyper aware self, always sensitive to your moods and such. making it even harder for you to move on, as you call it.

but he was met with silence, trudging along to your unusually faster pace tonight. he’s your best friend after all, so he pushes, even poking his finger repeatedly on your shoulder to get you to talk.

you’ve had enough of dealing with him today, wanting to hear the end of it. and so you dig your heel on the concrete, meeting his eyes with a glare as you raised your voice. “would you quit it!?”

thank god there was no one else around, only the chirp of the crickets and your heavy breathing. “alright, alright geez… it’s just, if you’re not feeling okay, then i don’t wanna leave you going home by yourself.”

he gently presses the back of his hand to your forehead, to which you harshly swatted away. the bus conveniently neared the two of you, immediately rushing to step into the vehicle once it came into a halt. seeun’s eyes never left your figure until you disappear in his sight, taking a seat on the opposite side of the bus that's further away from him.

and he watches the bus leave into the distance, unaware of the heartbreak you carried all the way home.

you were honestly surprised that no tears threatened to well up as you rode the bus home, until you slammed your bedroom door shut did it all come flooding in.

seeun and his stupid—his stupid attitude, stupid obliviousness, stupid… stupid everything!

you also blame yourself for choosing to spend the whole day with him, at this point it’s like you're begging your heart to get shattered to pieces. you bury yourself in the sheets to comfort yourself, seemingly making it worse as you recognize hints of seeun’s familiar cologne on your blanket, making you burst to tears even more.

you even start to wonder if you’d done any crimes your past life that led to all your current predicament: at the end of the day, he’s got this collection of gifts that you like, except… he’s not gonna give it to you. and knowing seeun, he’s probably gonna force you to come with him as well to help with his valentines surprise, and you have to plaster on a stiff, fake smile and pretend everything else is alright only your end.

and about those movie tickets… you’d probably just set a bonfire to throw it in and watch your hard earned money burn into ashes, pretending your heartbreak’s also fading away with it.

talk about brutal. you scoff, stuffing your face impossibly closer to your pillows, crying yourself to sleep.

you surprisingly felt numb when you woke up to the sun streaming through your blinds, immediately unlocking your phone to a dozen missed alarms and… calls.

you couldn’t even care less about missing class today. despite the way you cried your heart out last night, the wound still felt fresh as you read a bunch of notifications that came from seeun.

it was a bit difficult to read from your puffy, half-awake eyes, but you managed to see his messages asking why you’re late, begging you to come today. all because he’s apparently gonna give you the coupons to that fried chicken place he promised.

you groaned, rolling over to the other side of the bed, contemplating. fuck fried chicken honestly, if it means having seeun witness your horrible state right now, you’re out of there.

unfortunately, you always manage to amaze yourself at your audacity to go against your thoughts, letting your feelings lead your decisions instead of being rational.

thankfully seeun’s nowhere to be found as you attended the rest of your afternoon classes, hoping no one would notice the remnants of a breakdown from your eyes.

pft… and why would you even be looking for him anyway. starting today, you’d wanna avoid him as much as possible, so you’d successfully move on, right?

but as you clutched your bag tight, walking through the halls as class was dismissed, it just made you even more bitter seeing the couples around you be all over each other. you wonder why you even bothered to come in late when you'd wanna just skip today's classes because valentines irks you to the core.

you didn’t even care anymore as you pushed through the crowd of people, along with a blur of reds and pinks from the littered valentines decorations all around, almost making you wanna throw up from cringe.

but you yelp when you suddenly got yanked at a random corner of the hall, ready to kick your ‘kidnapper’ into oblivion until you look up, craning your neck far too much until you realize it’s seeun.

and you don't miss the sight of the bouquet of flowers and gifts he's holding behind him.

"really seeun? i'm not gonna be helping you with handing it to them. you're on your own now by the way. i know you can do it." you say, face completely deadpanned.

“wait—” he firmly grasps onto your bag once you turned in an attempt to leave. “if this is about the fried chicken, i don’t care anymore. just keep it, i’m going home.”

“y/n i think you’ve got it all wrong.”

he doesn’t let go of your bag, trying to free yourself from his hold, fuming.

“yeah, it’s so wrong trying to shove to my face that you finally got yourself your own love life! i know we banter all the time but i also have my limits.” he watches as you raise your voice at him, a hurt expression falling over your face, one that he doesn’t like.

"just because we're best friends doesn't mean you can ask me for help with this kinda stuff! because what if... what if i..." what if i actually have feelings for you? you choke on your words, preventing yourself from blurting out an unwanted confession.

seeun's hold on your bag turns weak, his eyes softening. "what if you what, y/n? you've been acting weird since yesterday and i'm honestly getting a bit worried. tell me what's wrong then, so i can help you feel better."

"it's not something you could help with." you turn your gaze at the lockers, anywhere but focusing him.

“y/n if you just listen to me for a second then we’ll—” he attempts to calm you down, until you interrupt.

“you just don’t get it because you’re a guy!”

he takes a deep breath before grabbing your shoulder with his free hand, shaking your frame with every word he lets go. “all these gifts are for you y/n. it’s my valentines surprise for you!”

you take a step back, mouth parted in confusion.

“is this some kind of sick joke?”

“god… do i even have to spell it out. i like you, more than friends… or best friends! l-i-k-e y-o-u. got that?”

he lets out all of his thoughts, desperate that you get the message, rendering you speechless.

"i'm not really that good with words but... i've had feelings for the longest. i hope these gifts could make you realize how i feel?"

“me too seeun, it's a bit embarrassing to admit that i like you as well... i just, got a bit confused since you were talking about it as if you’re giving it to some other person. i'm sorry about what happened yesterday.” you look away from him, focusing on the floor instead.

“you know i got you always, right y/n? besides, why’d i give it to someone else when i got gifts that are personally your favorites?”

he finally got his point across as you let out a huff, rolling your eyes as you let him stare down at you with that beady gaze of his, feeling his fingers ghost towards your neck as he laces a necklace around it.

“well, what can you say about it? did i do good in trying to find out what gifts you’re gonna like huh?” you roll your eyes once again, snatching the chocolate and bouquet of flowers from him. you wordlessly linked your arm with his, starting to wander through the halls, biting your lip to keep yourself from smiling. you swear he’s never gonna let it go if he sees you show the littlest bit of enthusiasm over his gift.

as you step outside the field of the school once again, you manage to break the silence, looking up at him. “oh. but i… i did buy us tickets for the movie as well. it was supposed to be a surprise.”

“you’re so bad at surprises y/n, you know that?” he flicks your forehead, earning a glare.

“coming from you?!”

“yeah, well… you seemed to be happy with it from the way you were avoiding my eyes once i handed—hey, hey— wait y/n i’m just kidding, don’t hit me with the bouquet! y/n! @#%@&”

[slafkovskys]

surprise pregnancy with nico, he’s so sweet that i feel like he would just be over the moon, even if him and reader are only dating or whatever that’s girl dad nico to u

“so,” his voice is slow, drawn out, “what are your plans for tonight?”

“oh, you mean if i don’t end up finding out that i’m someone’s mother in the next three minutes?” you stare at the wine glass that was filled to the brim on your bathroom counter, beside it three tests. you sighed, “i’ve got lisa on standby. if i’m feeling better and these are negative, we hopefully will be celebrating freedom in a bar.”

“and if they’re positive?” you watch as his eyebrow quirks in the dim light of the hotel lamp.

“what about you, ni? what are your plans tonight- or, it’s still yesterday for you, isn’t it?” while it was seven am in bern, it was still the night before in north carolina, where nico was lodged for the night.

“well, whether or not if i find out that im going to be someone’s father,” his tone is teasing and you’re thankful that he didn’t mention the careful avoidance of his previous question, “i have a hockey game to play.”

“i forget you do that sometimes,” you send a teasing grin his way and he rolls his eyes. you’re about to say something else when the timer you had set goes off. something twists in your abdomen and suddenly the feeling of dread feels your chest. you let your eyes drift from one test to another, all reading the same answer, “fuck, fuck, fucking fuck!”

you bend down, resting your elbows on the counter and burying your head in your hands. you can hear nico shuffling around from your phone, but he doesn’t say anything. there were so many thoughts going through your head, so many emotions, so many questions. you weren’t sure how long it was before you can make yourself look at him.

“we always talked about a future together, y/n,” his tone is gentle when he speaks for the first time, breaking the silence that you had created.

“yeah, when we were in our thirties and if we hadn’t found anyone else by then. not when we’re 25 and living on opposite sides of the globe, nico,” it had always been a thing of convenience between you and him. ever since your school days and even as you both moved into adulthood, you always found your way back to the ‘no strings attached, but still best friends’ deal that you had worked out. and now you were staring at four positive pregnancy tests after he had barely been back in jersey for a month. you pick up the wine glass and you watch his face shift to one of alarm, “i’m not stupid, nico. i just want to smell it.”

“okay?” he watches as you take a deep inhale of the red liquid you had been so excited to drink after the tests came up negative. the bouts of nausea and fatigue that you had been experiencing for the past couple of weeks were just a bug and not at all related to the night you and nico shared before he left. hell, it could’ve been the morning that he left for the airport, too, now that you really think about it. “y/n-”

“i need you to be straight with me, nico,” you set the glass down and stare at your phone, “do you want a baby? don’t bullshit me.”

“with you? yes. no bullshit,” and you’ve known him long enough to know that he wasn’t lying when he spoke. “if i had to have a surprise baby with anyone else, i’d want it to be you.”

“oh, you’re so sweet,” you make a face, “this isn’t a joke. this is a life, this my life too-”

“i know that,” he insists, “but i don’t want to wait until thirty to have my shot with you. this isn’t conventional or ideal, but maybe this is how it was supposed to happen for us. it’s not like we’re strangers, we’ve known each other since we were kids-”

“please don’t tell me that you’re in love with me right now. i’m already feeling a lot of things,” you hold up a hand and he stops, “you’re thousands of miles away from me. how would this work?”

“come to jersey,” he says it so simply with no hesitation, “leave bern and come be with me in jersey. i don’t have a plan before you ask, but we can figure all of that shit out later. just- just get here.”

you close your eyes and take a deep breath, “we’re gonna be parents.”

the biggest smile you’d ever seen him adorn graces his face, “yeah, we’re going to be parents.”

send in things for combo weekend ✨

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

aha,,, I had this really in-depth thing I wrote about how much I like your art,,, and the first half, maybe even first 2/3 got deleted,,, I was so excited writing it, I have no idea what it all even contained anymore,,,

So... the first paragraph after this here is rewritten from what I could remember writing the first time. I know it's not as in-depth as it originally was. Hopefully it still gets the depth of what I want to say across... The second paragraph is what DIDN'T get deleted. Aaaa

I only just recently found you and started following you, but I have to say, your art and comics and writing for the ASL brothers is just. So unbelievably good. You're up there in my favorites. Top three. Top two even. The way you write them is like watching a group of close friends interacting in real life, down to the silliness and shenanigans and inside jokes and abrupt changes in topic or mood in a conversation, including superficial changes (one that comes to mind is when Ace goes something like "I'll bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS" or some incredibly large number, really intensely suddenly, in response to Luffy's saying he'd be $20 or something, and then there's a beat, and then Luffy is like "$20 is fine :)" and Ace is just like "Alright :)". That kind of thing is something Ive had happen, something I've seen happen to others... but I've never seen it written/drawn so well.) Everything about their interactions is so incredibly natural, so full of life. Every time I read one of your comics I'm in constantly in awe and taking mental notes. Well. Okay, no, that's a lie. I WISH I were taking mental notes, but I get so caught up reading because it flows SO smoothly that I forget to.

And that's another thing!! How the way you do paneling and story beats in your comics makes reading while also visualizing movement and transitions so seamless. It's like, the visual-narrative equivalent of a hot knife through butter. I've read plenty of comics-- from novice to professional-- that have really clunky paneling and/or pacing. And similarly, I've read as many that let you read everything easily, but it's like, TOO easy, and there's no weight drawing your eyes to the actual art or keeping them there. And I've seen comics that are somewhere between these two, but still don't feel like they have a good flow. (All this as passive observation, I'm not one to actively look to critique something.) Anyway, what I'm saying is, the way you set up your comics-- the art, the paneling, the pacing, the speech bubbles, the shots, EVERYTHING-- makes them just. MM!! An absolute frickin delight to read. And it's combined with some of the best, most natural-feeling writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. You balance everything so well. In this age of being desensitized to humor online, I must say, the silliness in parts of the Water Is Thicker Than Blood comic make me genuinely grin and even laugh to myself alone in my room. It feels so real, so genuine, so... I'm running out of words. I'm sorry. I just... REALLY love how you make stuff. I want you to know that I'm a big fan, and, even though I'm older than you I'm learning a lot, and your stuff is so well-done. I hope this isn't too strange, aha... if it is, I apologize. I got a little intense

Oh woweewowee!!!!!!

Thank you for enjoying how i depict them! I really enjoy drawing them as realistic as i can. I really want people to understand them how i do in my head, and im glad it comes off perfectly because i love these little gremlins! And it really is surprisingly easy to think up situations of them being little dumbasses together :) just put them in situations, think about the ways any normal person could possibly react to the information thats given, scrap all that, use the outlier, and bam! That’s a bonafide ASL dynamic right there!

Thats really nice of you to say how you like how i panel my comics because thats one of the things im a bit self conscious of, truthfully. My formatting isnt as neat or polished as other comics are, and i really dont care to change that, but its nice to know that there is still charm and interest in my style of comics.

I get what you mean with the being desensitized to humor online nowadays. Idk what about it but its kinda hard to get me to full on laugh at memes like i used to. But i really enjoy putting in gags that i think and I chuckle to myself about for a while after i thought of it. The “that doesnt taste anything like ass” gag got me chuckling for so long to myself while i was at work. Just like,,, the shock and awe that Sabo is in from having witnessed that is so funny to me, i dont think that gag will ever get old in my head.

That’s really cool that me just goofing around can be a learning opportunity to people :0 ive never even considered that could be the case

Not at all! Thanks so much for your thoughts and opinions! This is very heartwarming and im very happy i could produce something thats so meaningful to others :)

Thanks for the ask, too :D

[necroromantics]

Please tell us about them (I am listening intently)

BRO OK Im guessing you mean my OC. His name is Tobin Lawsen he's 19 years old currently. He's my first ever OC and I made him with my friends for a Creepypasta AU we made called Creepedverse. BIG PARAGRAPHS WARNING UNDER THE CUT I LOVE YAPPING 🔥 (Also adding on that all the content about Tobin is under my #tomboc tag)

He's canonically shipped with my girlfriends OC Tali Marks and he loves her very much, she's the only person he really cares about and is very protective over her, but he keeps that to himself cuz he knows she can defend herself. He's an arms and narcotics dealer so he makes money through selling illegal drug and weapons. And hes good at it. He's really dumb when it comes to booksmarts, barely knows how to read or do maths, but is very street smart.

Tobins an insensitive asshole and generally uncaring of himself and others. Nothing matters to him. He's also really unserious and bored all the time so he does annoying or stupid shit to entertain himself. He's petty, defensive, mean, likes to joke around and make people laugh or make himself laugh, and also a huge prick. Has a habit of insulting people just to get a rise out of them, he thinks its funny

Besides being a lil jokester and having fun, he's very out of tune with his own emotions. Really emotionally inept. He doesn't feel much of anything besides apathy, anger and joy. Maybe awkwardness or discomfort. Tobin is very very indifferent about a lot of things, he's the definition of this: 😬👍. The things he cares about are the things that actively negatively impact his life. And even then, he's unable to really care about himself or his own wellbeing, just as hes unable to care about everyone else. He has self-respect, and always puts himself first though

He's pretty morbid and vulgar. Very socially inept so he doesn't have any sense of right/wrong, respect for boundaries and doesn't consider whats appropriate to say/do. Always runs his mouth and gets into fights. Off-putting, but not necessarily a horrible guy. Tobin barely has any moral code, but the one he does, he stands up for with his life. He was raised in a way where people who hurt children and women get the shit kicked out of them, and thats the mindset he keeps. Besides this though, he genuinely does not care about whats deemed morally acceptable or not, which makes his job a lot easier. Would befriend a cannibal for fun

Some themes I associate with him are the sun, dogs, peaches, war and fire. Sometimes Ill throw in some rot, religious, or death themes

The general story with him is that he killed his dad with a shotgun and then went on the run with Tali, and they ended up in a fictional town in Alabama called Farnbury. From there, he got Slender Sick and became an unwilling, mostly unaware proxy. He'd wake up in places with no memory of how he got there, blood on his hands, dirt on his jeans. Random nosebleeds, coughing up blood, paranoia, seeing things. It got to the point he starts obsessively looking into the cause of it all, and discovers more and more about Slenderman. He tries his best to get rid of it, and the sickness cuz he hates being controlled and used as a puppet

ALL ART DRAWN BY MY GIRLFRIEND @clockeyedtoy

[effervescentdragon]

Galex and the feeling of being wanted

im in a mood and i love you and i keep thinking abt my george has a mental breakdown fic so yeah i need to get some things out

You look at him and you want.

You think it may consume you, this much desire. It can not be healthy, nothing that is this powerful is healthy, nothing that makes your heart hurt this much can be good, nothing that makes your body react like someone put every one of your nerves on fire can be healthy. You burned your hand once; put it on hot stove and you've never forgotten that feeling, nor will you ever forget it. You push your body to the limits every single day and you endure so much pain - tiny cockpit in Sakhir, tiny shoes in Sakhir, biggest shoes you've ever had to fill that didn't fit you, that could never fit you, that would never ever fit you no matter how much you try - and still none of it hurts as much as your heart does when he looks at you.

You're in a car with a beautiful boy, you think you read about that once, a quote somewhere online that stuck with you. You're in a car with a beautiful boy and you drive, he lets you drive him, he lets you go wild and he lets you go fast and you step on the gas pedal so you wouldn't think about how much the skin of your face hurts when you smile at him. Your face is plasticine, skin drawn over cheekbones they tell you have the charm of old Hollywood and you drag the rubber around in the way you've practiced, the way that will result in you having distinguished, proper smile-lines someday when you get old, lines that will be described as prominent and remarkable when you're too old to mould your body into a car as much as your mould your smiles and your answers to all the cameras always there and always asking you questions you don't want to talk about, but - you're a Mercedes driver, you're the Mercedes driver, this was your dream so now go out and live it, live it and deal with all the consequences, be careful what you wish for Georgie b3cause you just might get it - you still do despite everything.

He puts his hand around your shoulders and you want. He presses close to you during an interview and you want. He laughs at your stupid joke and you want. He teases you about your hair and you want. All you do in this life is want want want, and all you want is him - and a Championship and a good car and respect and wins and to be the best - to be right there by your side.

You look at him and you want him, and you think the desire will drown and burn and consume and evaporate and bleed you dry if you let it take over.

"Change the song, Alex," you say instead as you're rushing through the French riviera because you need to be fast to show him you can be and you need to get to your destination as soon as possible because you need to stop looking at him because you think you may have to gauge your eyes out if you don't.

"Oh, fuck off, George," he says with a laugh that tears at your intestines and echoes so loud in your ears, you can't even hear the engine of your - brand new brand given brand gifted branded - Mercedes.

He changes the song and then puts his hand on your knee, tapping the beat to some song you won't remember.

You don't look at him because you don't dare, but you still want.

All you know how to do is want.

All you dare to do is -

- nothing.

[dogbunni]

dude your nendou HCs?? on fucking point.

anyway!! if you'd like to: nedou and saiki! friendship hcs!

OUGH friendship hcs??? let's see

[sits bolt upright as my eyes start flickering and emitting light] [several nendo&saiki headcanons are projected onto the wall]

-nendo is an extreme extrovert and saiki is an extreme introvert. now we've all heard of extrovert/introvert friendships and how the extrovert adopts the introvert and yes absolutely nendo did adopt saiki but also get this: nendo is an extrovert who struggles to make friends. he is loud and crude and not super smart and most people find him a little off-putting. saiki on the other hand is an introvert with an insanely high stat in charisma for no fucking reason and most definitely against his will. people are drawn to him despite his best efforts to push them away. therefore nendo and saiki are the dream team. they compliment each other. nendo's unlikeability keeps the normals well away from saiki, whereas saiki's baffling magnetism attracts the weirdos not put off by nendo's nendoness. nendo finally has the friendship group of his dreams, and saiki gets his likeability score tanked every time nendo calls him "pal". incredible.

-theyve been friends long enough now that they can do that weird BFFL thing where they can finish each others sentences and guess pretty accurately each others train of thought. this caused a crisis for saiki bc for a minute he thought nendo actually could read his mind.

-when I say saiki can pretty accurately guess what nendo is thinking I mean that nendo is pretty much always thinking about ramen

-nendo however will have real conversations with saiki where saiki says nothing. not even with his telepathy. nothing. nendo just knows through BFFL magic what saiki would say. saiki loves this, despite being a bit scared that nendo is always right on the money

-sometimes saiki indulges nendo's weird impulsive thoughts. they're both teenage boys. saiki is repressed, but also a silly little guy at heart. he has pushed nendo down a very steep hill in a shopping cart, while nendo stood upright in it, T-posing and screaming the whole way. he fell out and split his lip on the pavement.

-they play saiki's weird bargain bin games together. you can't convince me that they don't.

-they absolutely bully each other and yes it is a love language. sometimes you just need to tell your best friend that he is ugly and a freak of nature and that is okay <3

-they clown on saiki's dad together. saiki likes the challenge of pranking kuniharu without using his powers. nendo just likes seeing kuniharu suffer

-they once bought up every single coffee jelly for miles and then had a taste testing tournament involving a sticker chart to find the best coffee jelly factoring in best quality for money. granted, saiki did a lot of the heavy lifting for this one, but nendo enjoyed putting stickers onto the chart. it holds the record for the most saiki has ever smiled in one day

-once kusuke came over and tried to pull some bullshit while they were hanging out and they just looked at each other and then started throwing shit at him. like;

kusuke: KUSUO I HAVE COME TO EN-

kusuo: (throws TV remote at his head)

kusuke: TO ENGAGE YOU IN-

nendo: (throws a half eaten sandwich at his head)

kusuke: IN A BATTLE OF W-

kusuo: (throws a water bottle at his head)

kusuke: OF WITS- STOP THROWI-

nendo: (throws his chair at his head)

this only ended bc kuniharu thought it looked fun and tried to join in. they then started throwing things at him instead.

-nendo got them matching "I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND" t shirts. saiki has never worn his and never will but nendo wears his fucking constantly

-saiki retaliated by getting t-shirts that said "IM WITH STUPID" and "IM STUPID" on them. jokes on him tho bc nendo loves that shirt too.

[trsrina]

What smaus do you recommend ? It can be any group 💗

BRO I HAVE SO MANY

- recall ex-student president/bad boy! jungwon x fem! reader @seungstarss

after spending months suffering from amnesia in the hospital due to an "accident," you return back to your normal school life where your close friends who you remember stick by your side 24/7. Unexpectedly, you cross paths with ex-student council president yang jungwon, who you failed to remember but feel oddly drawn to. however, after the meeting things start to get odd and you slowly begin piecing together the mystery behind your accident.

this smau is so good i can’t explain it in words like im still not over this?? legit cried at the end literal pain

- all clear! badminton team captain! jungwon x badminton team captain fem! reader @amakumos

for as long as you’ve been on jyp university’s badminton team, your team’s main rivals have been hybe university. the rivalry goes way back, and as the team captain, you’re well aware of your team’s disdain towards the hybe team - but it just so happens that you’re secretly dating hybe’s team captain, yang jungwon. and since tournament season is coming up soon, the rivalry between hybe and jyp is stronger than ever, and you and jungwon both know that if the secret got out, conflicts would arise. you’ve heard of enemies pretending to be lovers, but have you heard of lovers pretending to be enemies? 

this smau right here is fhsbfbsjdhsxjshdh i have an obsession for sports smaus like not even joking rn

- super sad songs idol! park sunghoon x idol! fem reader @kynrki

yln yn and park sunghoon are sworn enemies ever since highschool. unfortunately for yn, she had undeniably huge feelings for sunghoon and wrote love songs for him. now they both are out of school, one being an idol, the other still writing songs in the comfort of their home. what happens when yn accidentally leaks one of her songs that miraculously ends up blowing up? and why does her voice sound so familiar to sunghoon?

my pookie is so talented like rlly this smau is so good fr my reason of living

- deuce! volleyball player!Jay x fem!volleyball player!reader @ddeonuism

one may ask, what would happen if you put a prodigy and a hard worker in one room? Absolute chaos. Jay and Y/N absolutely hated each other’s guts. Having been rivals from middle school until present, it’s a cruel twist of fate that they ended up going to the same university years later. To make matters even worse, both have been selected as captains for the men’s and women’s volleyball team respectively.

i love myself a good enemies to lovers smau 😋 once again sports smaus are the best 👍

- wrong room! idol! yang jungwon x idol! fem reader @soov

yang jungwon, the leader of enhypen, keeps using his senior’s dance room to practice, even after his manager calls him out. what is he going to do when the said senior finds out that he's not only doing it on purpose, but also trying to win her heart?

i love simp jungwon this smau is so cute tears fall out of my eyes every time i read this 🥲

- more time with you idol! nishimura riki x idol! fem reader @yenqa

a new idol variety show makes 4th generation maknaes take care of a kid for a month! what happens when niki gets paired with a random girl who he maybe had one interaction with a few months ago? and when the reality show ends, why does he want to spend more time with you?

this is so fluffy and cute like i can’t do this anymore

- pick me! idol! yang jungwon x idol! fem reader x idol! nishimura riki @urszn

in which y/n debuts in the group new jeans and ends up getting the attention of her seniors jungwon and niki, as new jeans and y/n get more attention, y/n starts being considered a it girl ! which leads to a host asking enhypen what new jeans members are their favorites…. “y/n!” they both say in sync.

this one is just so good my esther pookie’s smaus are so good like not kidding rn

- room 505 student council president!jungwon X heeseung’s little sister/new girl!fem oc @urszn

IF YOU’VE EVER been in hybe academy you would have heard of lee heeseung and R00M 505 — R00M 505 being the detention room. — lee heeseung was a well known troublemaker, once he graduated everyone felt at peace knowing they wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. one day jungwon finds himself at R00M 505 thinking nobody would be there…wait what?!? “i’m lee y/n”

i had to put room 505 here too bc it’s just that good i love you esther mwah

- love news! classmate! jungwon x fem reader @hanniluvi

BREAKING NEWS! valentine’s is right around the corner, yet you still had no partner. you didn’t think too much of it, you probably thought it was just another year where you’ll be single again. not a big issue at all. however, your favorite gossip account proves you wrong! what if you find out someone actually likes you? after gathering all the hints you’ve been given, you narrowed your list down to one person. that one person ended up being yang jungwon, one of your crushes. there’s no way, one of your crushes actually liking you back? will you believe it’s just fake or actual love news?

simp jungwon best troupe no explanation needed

- bad news! heartbreaker!sunghoon x gn!reader x second-lead!soobin @haknom

mr. ling has been nagging sunghoon to join a club, something about meeting the needed credits to graduate—of course, he wasn’t close at all. since he didn’t have any club in mind, his teacher recommended that he’d join the broadcasting club, despite the low chance of being accepted. but sunghoon was accepted not long after he applied, surprisingly. the bad news is, he wasn’t expecting to see a certain someone. jeon y/n, decelis’ top grade student, and sunghoon’s next target.

i love this so much like a bad news update is always the highlight of my day

- pr stunt idol! kim minji x fem! lesserafim! reader @silantryoo

y/n didn’t hate kim minji, but because of some idiot decided to out their ‘relationship’ and the need to cover up their senior's scandal, she gets caught in a not-so-ideal situation. she just hopes that she can get through it without any problems.

minyn is so cute like the way they freak out over each other is so fjsnfnandandn this is so cute ☹️

- polaroid love idol! kim minji x idol! nmixx fem reader x idol! hanni pham @spadesolace

y/n did not intend to join the kpop industry but after her brother had convinced her, she's taken the industry by storm. what happens when she unintentionally catches the attention and heart for two members of the rookie group that's taking everyone by storm, newjeans?

this one is just adorable i like girls 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

- love is (not) easy choi yeonjun, choi soobin, choi beomgyu x gn! reader @beom1e

between commitment issues and your busy college student life, you just didn’t have time to bring another person into your routine. that’s why you had soobin, your secret not-boyfriend, but you were always no good at keeping secrets. now your two best friends are working to figure out who the secret boy is.

actually obsessed with this smau it’s so good??? all the drama and stuff is so fjsnfnsnfns

[b3llb00]

" We Pull The Tail, Now We See Who Bites. "

Robin of Loxley/ The Hood X Fem!reader.

Summary: Robin got injured during a chase to get some coins for the commoners, so Y/N offers to heal his wounds if she gets something else in return from him. ;)

A/N: I need to stop watching this movie, I’m obsessed and it’s gotten the better of me.

Contains: Kissing, 50% dom/sub reader and 50% dom/sub Rob, mentions of sex, injuries. [WILL INCLUDE: Smut, Unprotected Sex (Use Protection, Yall.) P In V, Oral (Male/Fem. Receiving) , Fingering, Creampie, Multiple Rounds. Mild Dirty Talk.]

Wc: 1.2k * I think. * (Will Prob Change.) IM COPY AND PASTING AND EDITING THIS FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT, SO DONT SAY IM A COPYCAT. THE FINISHED IMAGE WILL BE UPLOADED HERE. IF YOU WANT TO LIKE AND FOLLOW ME, LIKE AND FOLLOW THIS ACCOUNT.

DONT REPOST OR COPY MY WORK, YOU CAN REPOST WITH PERMISSION, ENJOY.

(Btw sorry if this picture is bad, just ignore John and pretend it's you lol.)

»»———-　🏹　———-««

You are setting up traps for Robin to shoot at later, when all of a sudden you hear a loud, groan from him coming upstairs, making a shiver run down your spine. When Robin was back in Arabia and you had to fight him, you ended up sparing his life, but your mercy to him didn’t do much as you still got captured and was set sail in a boat with him for 3 weeks. Surprisingly, you too starting talking and some would even call you " friends " .

You decide to go upstairs to see what Rob was groaning about, and there you saw him, shirtless, his toned torso on display. In nothing but his pants with a wet, bloody rag resting on his massive thigh where he been impaled. You had to close your eyes for a second, trying to push the weird desire you had for him to the back of your mind.

I wasn’t joking when I said the treasury itself was a hard target. You say, slowly walking toward him, this made him look up from his leg to look at you. He decides to ignore your statement and press his rag into his thigh further, making him hiss through gritted teeth. You decide to go grab your medical supplies you used whenever you two got hurt. You always had wanted to be a nurse, but ever since the Sherif of Nottingham drafted you, things changed. But I guess it’s pretty useful to know how to properly treat somebody’s wounds.

Hey! You heard Rob say from across the room, Where are you goin-

I'm getting my medical supplies, dumbass. You say back with a bit of an attitude, not wanting to be told where you’re going or what you’re doing when all you trying to do is help. Oh, sorry, love. Carry on. He said, making you turn your head to see a light smile adorning his features.

As much as you sometimes hated Robin's attitude and sarcasm, you just can’t help yourself to be mad at him. It’s almost like you're drawn under a spell that will keep you from ever getting into any sort of confrontation.

You finally got all your medical supplies and you headed to the small table that he sat in on. Letting the supplies fall from your hands, you organized it quickly, while Rob eyed you carefully the whole time.

Once you got everything ready and set up the way you wanted it, you took one more look at his thigh. ' Shit. ' You thought, his cut is too deep to get a good look at what’s going on, so you’re gonna have to find a way to ask him to take his pants off.

The cuts- uhm. You stutter, Your gonna have to take your pants off if you want me to get a good look at it and fix it.

You were looking everywhere except his face, not wanting him to see your blush-coated cheeks. Even though you weren’t looking at him, you could still feel his gaze burning a hole into the side of your head.

Just the pants or the braies too, love.? He winked at you, causing you to basically turn into putty right in front of him. (Keep in mind they didn’t really have ' boxers ' in medieval England, but they did have what were called braies. They were basically the same thing.)

You decided to try and flirt back to the best of your abilities by saying. Well, first, take your pants off, and then I’ll tell you.

This earned you a chuckle from the handsome man as he threw the bloody rag to the side and very carefully came up from his spot on the table, you watched him intently as you noticed some of the blood continued to trickle down his clothed thigh. He didn’t seem to care, he kept eye contact with you the whole time as he slowly took his pants off. To be honest it felt like an entity had passed when his pants finally hit the floor, and you weren’t disappointed, let’s just say that.. there was definitely a buldge hidden underneath the fabric of his braies, and you could actually see it growing..

You could practically hear Robin’s smirk as he called out to you, his voice low and teasing. Hey, my eyes are up here, love..

You immediately snap your gaze back up to his face, and he just has an amused expression painted all over his features. You could feel the heat start to radiate off your cheeks and your heartbeat start to pick up as you mumble out defensively. Yeah, yeah, I know.. You close your eyes for a second, trying to recompose yourself.

He takes a step forward, biting his lip to hold back a groan from the wave of pain that just shot up his leg. He cocks an eyebrow and says in a lower octave. You sure about that?

[I am currently editing this, and right here is my stopping point. If the story shifts or changes I’m sorry, I will fix it soon.]

" Hmm. If I fix up your thigh, will you give me a kiss? " You say before continuing, " I’ve always wondered if your a good kisser or not. "

He let out a small chuckle when his eyes kept flicking down to your lips. Then he finally spoke up and said, " Sure, love. " You blushed at the pet name. " Maybe I’ll give you something more than just a kiss. " He winked, making you roll your eyes at his audacity to be this flirty when he’s impaled.

" Fine, let me get my stuff.. " You say, heading away to get your medical supplies while Rob just watch you leave with a smile on his lips.

~

" Mkay, done. " You say as you wrap up his leg and stand up straight, pretty of yourself.

" Well, here’s the kiss that you wanted. " He said as he grabbed your arms, lightly pulling you in before his lips collided with yours.

It feels amazing, and you wanted to be immersed in this feeling forever. You didn’t know what to do, but you were able to make room by spreading his thighs wider so you get closer to him, which made him moan into your mouth. You smiled into the kiss, knowing it could be any moment when John could walk upstairs and see you two start to make out like teenagers, you didn’t care. You just wanted to feel Rob, you wanted his weight on top of you, you wanted him to pin you against the wall and fuck you till your legs went numb and you were cockdrunk.

He wrapped his muscular arms around your waist, pulling you closer and you felt his buldge in his pants grow. You let go of his lips for air and you almost whined at the loss of contact.

" Sorry, love. I don’t want us to get caught. " Rob said with a frown. You cupped his cheek with your hand and kiss him again softly before saying. " It’s fine, we can continue later. "

~

[keithal]

Do you have any supernatural fic recs?

ANON. i have been waiting since 2019 for someone to ask me this. prepare to regret this decision (FYI: i'm taking all these recs & following notes from my public bookmarks on ao3, which you can find here. i'm cutting the notes short, so if u don't mind spoiler-y drawn-out comments, check that out too if u want!)

deancas focused:

A Reasonable Amount of Trouble by xylodemon -> an spn au where dean is a p.i. and a hunter on the side, cas is still an angel, and they get caught up in a plot that's a mix of seasons 4, 6, 8, and 9. this was my introduction to spn and deancas. the characterization is flawless and the prose is beautiful (very cs pacat-esque). the plot is crafted with close attention to detail and the pacing is perfect

the point of our being by noviembre -> a post-s15 fix-it that takes place immediately after the penultimate episode. noviembre is undoubtedly my favorite spn writer of all time. one of the best dean voices i've ever come across. this ties up the narrative threads into a beautiful, sound, satisfying ending, and both destiel & saileen survive. despite the odds, they're happy.

i projected onto dean winchester when i was twelve years old and now im making it your problem by alittleduck (amidsizedfrog) -> another post-finale fix it. and, to date, the funniest thing i've ever read. every fic in this series has a good balance between scenes that make u laugh so hard u hurt ur throat and Scenes That Make You Want To Gurgle Cement.

So Says The Sword by komodobits -> a s4 au and a fandom classic for a reason. if u haven't read this, i'm of the firm belief it's best to go in as blind as possible. but definitely keep this verse in the back of ur mind while reading: "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father" (matthew 10:29)

sir this is a wendy's by noviembre -> yall remember when misha collins said that a modern au deancas would be like if a wendy's janitor and the president of the usa fell in love? well noviembre took that seriously and now we're here. and u should all be thankful bc it's somehow the single funniest and most romantic thing i've ever read

the pie isn’t a metaphor (it’s just pie) by noviembre -> post-finale s15 domestic deancas fic that's the emotional equivalent of drinking tea and lying under a warm weighted blanket. it makes me so happy and i think abt it every time i eat a pastry. i just sit there chewing like “dean and cas are eating fresh pie in their kitchen” and it puts a smile on my face.

Muscle Memory by komodobits -> a "50 first dates" au that i think abt every single day. i'm not joking. it's so sad and touching and sweet and unexpectedly funny, and no one writes deancas like komodobits. it just FEELS so them and i'm obsessed w it.

Strandlines by aeli_kindara -> au where s4 cas meets stanford-era dean. dean's voice and characterization is incredibly in-character with the early seasons and his voice doesn't falter once. and of course castiel! robotic s4 cas with this tremendous power and this fierce yet wavering loyalty to heaven that eventually focuses solely on dean! likewise, his character is spot-on and i enjoyed reading from his pov immensely.

[podfic] right hand on his rife, swore it on the bible by be_brave13 for quensty, floorsirens -> u can't possibly expect me NOT to include this. YES my friend and i wrote the fic but be_brave13's love and appreciation for it makes it feel like a completely separate work. my favorite podfic (and gift) of all time so i implore u to give it a listen.

something suddenly everywhere by noviembre -> the finest post-s15 fix-it of all time. cas is in the empty, they've defeated god, jack is gone, and all that's left is sam, eileen, dean, a bunker, and trying to move on. i know i already said that but this is the same author so it still counts! i cried, i laughed, i grieved, i jumped from excitement. it's a rollercoaster of emotions. it should be put behind a velvet rope at a museum so we can all gather around and clap.

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess -> au where dean writes star trek fanfiction. it follows him from the beginning of the show to the older seasons and is told entirely thru his fic summaries, reader commentary, and livejournal dms. warning that it is unfinished, but it's a masterpiece

saileen focused:

Loveletter (Dear Eileen) by voynichs (Xenerik) -> a short and beautiful meditation about love and eileen from sam's pov. it's only 300 words but it feels like 15k. definitely at the top of my fave saileen fics of all time. when i first read it i stayed up until 2 am crying abt it

Livin' on a Prayer by Dredfulhapiness -> EILEEN MEETING EARLY SEASONS DEAN AND SAM I'M SCREAMING. do u understand how this could've changed the timeline but, more importantly, me as a person. eileen there when dean and sam were trying to find a way out of the deal, there when everything happened with ruby, there for dean's resurrection, there before they met cas, there after sam dies and dean retires and cas goes m.i.a. and DEALING with the aftermath of a foiled apocolypse. everyone hates the winchesters but the winchesters are gone and all that's left is eileen to deal with the brunt of it.

With Hands Clasped by Xenerik -> a handful of snippets from the eileen wedding that explores gender and religion and love so beautifully. i haven't been able to read it completely yet, but i can tell this is going to be another saileen fave.

other pairings/no pairings

The Love Story of the Runner Up by Margo_Kim -> told from the perspective of a guy cas had a brief affair with as a semi-drunken story he tells a friend in a bar. it's technically deancas but since cas's relationship with another man takes main focus, i elected to put it here.

Ten Years by Margo_Kim -> a bela talbot character study and the best i've been able to find, no contest. *rowena voice* good girls are pathetic here's to evil skanks <3

The Archangel Gabriel Is Dead by seizethefire -> fics that have half a million kudos in my mind. it's about how and why rafael comes to think that god is dead. it expertly explores the familial relationship between gabriel, lucifer, michael, and rafael. it's devastating and beautiful in equal measure. definitely a personal favorite and one i think everyone should read

put them in a box somewhere by amidsizedfrog -> a mary & dean fic told from mary's pov from before she died. a gut-wrenching story about performative/toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia and mothers.

lastly, if ur interested, i also write spn fic >:) which u can find by clicking here. happy reading!

[casualavocados]

talking about ep6 and how much it means to me is...hard actually. sometimes. because there are so many reasons. reasons that feel silly to me on occassion and reasons that have all been said before but i have to say again because it will never not get to me, how rare it is to see any of this. rare in a bl and rare in entertainment in general tbh.

i can’t believe this show is allowed to have lines like “when there are other people around, talking to you feels like a matter of life and death.” / “what can we do? we’re just born this way.” and have the context not be about homophobia. the way pat and pran get to go out to the market and get groceries together like it’s nothing, be told they look cute together in passing without consequences, experiencing those things they missed out on in high school - which alludes to the way queer ppl irl share many of those domestic moments later in life. the way pran comes downstairs when pat rings his doorbell and hangs back and watches their parents confront is explicitly a metaphor for wanting and being drawn to something you know you should not or cannot have, mixed with the feelings of being something “different” than what your parents want for you.

these moments just hit so hard. they are so small. and yet they mean so much. 

then ofc there’s the huge focus on communication this episode - the way pat hurts and struggles and tries over and over to reach out to pran, slowly learning to meet pran where he is, all along respecting pran’s boundaries enough to not cause a scene himself but also not backing down from his own needs. it’s simply something i dont see often enough in romantic relationships in television. so much that’s portrayed to the world focuses on miscommunication and dishonesty rather than how worth it vulnerability can be. 

something that also stands out to me that started in this ep in particular (that’s why im bringing it up), is the way any sexual implications that arise are never used for jokes that play off the fact that pat and pran are a mlm couple. they’re taken seriously instead. like i’m not sure how to say this right, but the sexual tension feels so real because attention isn’t called to it. it’s just something that happens. and a lot of this also has to do with the fact that neither pat nor pran ever devolve into heteronormative, misogynistic gender roles as well (which i could talk about forever especially in the context of bl but i wont here). there are no onlookers pushing their own agendas onto the main characters ever in this series, not romantically, and not sexually. 

(not even korn in ep9 feels that way to me, because he comes across as a goofball who wants the best for his friend(s), an observer rather than someone trying to push his way into business that isn’t his. also imo he’s speedrunning his bi realization in that ep as well so he gets a pass and a pat on the head). 

and because of all that, to my astonishment, i have never once felt any second hand embarrassment watching pat and pran. whether it's a serious scene like the newspaper game in ep6 or a silly scene like the one in pat’s room in ep7 - everything feels like it’s just for them. not catering to the audience. they’re allowed to be goofy, they’re allowed to be serious, they’re allowed to be visibly attracted to each other - without the show making a big deal out of it. and to me, that makes it a big deal. the fact that it is so normal. and ofc so much meta has been written about the casual physical intimacy in this show - the fact how on the other hand, not every touch between them has sexual undertones. that they can just exist in each other’s space and it be normal.

(and i feel like that’s where a lot of disagreement comes from, from a minority of audience members. i’ve seen takes where people thought pat and pran acted more like friends than lovers once their relationship actually became romantic - and i feel like not only does that point to the twisted societal pressure to differentiate between what classifies as “romantic” and “platonic”, but also the stigma that every act between same sex couples is inherently sexual, and therefore “dirty”. so simply put, the people who have those takes just don’t understand what this series has done.)

because for real, any other bl would have shown the physicality of pat and pran’s affection and interest in each other very differently. 

idk it just really gets to me. it’s spread throughout the rest of the show ofc but i specifically remember watching ep6 for the first time and being so shocked by how subtle the difference i saw in this series was - and also shocked by how much it meant to me to see it.

so yeah, this is just a silly romcom. but also no, it’s so much more than that. and episode 5 might be the ep that began that shift, but episode 6, for me at least, is the one that solidified it. and the rest of the show just continued to do the work to prove that.

[ambiguouscheese]

Hi can I request a basic personality matchup for honkai star rail please with a male character ? I don’t want a minor, I’m an adult.

In my free time I enjoy reading, playing video games, drawing, doing crochet, and swimming. I have a hard time with small talk, I dislike noisy and crowded places. I like cosy and quiet places , playing card games with my family and rainy days.

I’m a Virgo, my mbti is intj, enneagram 5w6 I’m mostly withdrawn, individualistic, introverted and very honest even blunt at times. I need a lot of alone time.I’m extremely determined, ambitious and very career oriented.

When im with people i’m close with, I tend to be more cheerful and energetic, I like to joke around too and tease people.I’m also very observant and I try my best to be attentive to my friends, I’m a good listener and very loyal.I have a hard time opening up and I’m an over thinker.I suffer from insomnia and probably a bit of social anxiety too, my love language is physical touch and act of services. I’m only affectionate with those I trust a lot

I specifically do not want Caelus and Argenti.

I hope this wasn’t too long.

Have a nice day !

you have been matched with . . . gepard landau !!

✧ gepard, initially, was drawn to your determination and ambition. if there's one thing he knows how to appreciate in a person, or more specifically, you, it's the fire in your eyes when you're intent on doing something. he most definitely would be supportive of you and whatever career you are most focused on, and would even be willing to learn the basics of whatever career that is just so that he understands what it is you're interested in.

✧ even though you're on the quieter and more introverted side, gepard doesn't mind and i think he'd start conversations with you by asking questions about a book you're reading, or a crochet project you're working on, or inquiring about anything you're interested in rather than indulging in small talk. of course, he wouldn't be overbearing when getting to know you first, but i think he'd keep a mental note of anything you mention about yourself such as your likes and dislikes just so that he remembers. when the two of you begin a relationship though, i don't think he'd mind and in fact he'd quite enjoy cozy stay-in dates with just the two of you where you guys play cards or even play video games! (he 100% mains toad if he plays mario kart with you this is simply a fact) i also feel like if he doesn't know how to play a card game or video game, he would give his all in figuring out the mechanics of the game inside out just so that he can be an adept enough of a player for you!

✧ at first it was your determination and ambition that stood out to him, like i said earlier, but later on in your relationship gepard grows to greatly appreciate your honesty and loyalty. he would definitely be patient in getting to know you and would not rush you into trusting him, but i think slowly as you two get closer, he'd notice your loyalty the most- the assurance in your eyes that you would stick with him no matter the circumstances the two of you go through. he of course also appreciates a bit of blunt honesty, and if he ever asks for your advice on things, he will actually listen and think about what you have to say.

✧ gepard loves joking around with you and was extremely happy when you made a joke for the first time with him as he was glad that you felt close enough with him to do that. he is understanding of your insomnia and slight social anxiety and honestly probably would scour libraries trying to find recommended herbal teas or anything that could help with your insomnia. if the two of you were in a social event and you preferred not to be there, he would definitely understand and would excuse the two of you to retreat back home where you could have alone time and even read a book or two! even though you have a hard time opening up, he is patient and understands that you may not immediately tell him everything, but as long as you know that he's there for you to support you, he's happy.

a/n: hi, thanks so much for requesting! i thought a lot of gepard while reading your ask- i hope you enjoy!

[sk3tch404]

The fact that I actually recognise that person-

Was actually debating whether to block them a while back and then forgot about it but omfg yeah I shoulda done it 💀💀💀💀 idk how to explain it properly but they strongly remind me of the IRL_Clowns situation back on TikTok for some reason (the summary should still be up when you search for it I think) although they haven't reached that same lvl of..... 'Bro wtf' yet, I think

Also it's not like Aponia could whitewash Naib more than Netease already did themselves fr

Yes just block him soon...

Wait, did I ever tell you guys we were mutuals? Oh no, I didn't. Let's recap.

I understand as a fictive you can't control the characters you see yourself as, but uh yeah...

I don't mind irl's or fictives, but sometimes y'all get a little out of hand. Like...

Wow defending Phillips racist backstory and character... How interesting.

You can be an irl of whoever u want I really don't give a fuck. I'm glad they're 'not racist' as people, but can they at least acknowledge PHILIPPE'S CHAFACTER IS RACIST? HIS CHARACTER TRAILER LITERALLY HAS A BLACK PERSON WITH DRAWN WITH ETHNIC FEATURES TURNING INTO A WOLF. AN ANIMAL.

DEEMING THEM AS CRIMINALS BASED ON PHYSICAL STRUCTURE. HOW IS THAT NOT FUCKING RACIST.

You don't have to be EVERY SINGLE TRAIT of that character as a fictive, but at least acknowledge the character you are is a bad person dude 💀

Ain't it funny when you pick and choose what to speak out on?

He can't STAND IT when racist black caricatures are on screen, but when his irl S/O cries about being seen as racist even though the character they are, Philippe, is racist in his work, deeming ethnic black features as a aggravated wolf ready to strike, that's when he goes tell them to do they things they like. Take their mind off of things and take a nap.

Yes this makes total and perfect mature sense. Good job team of 7 braincells.

I also think how it's a bit funny how despite me telling him my real age when I was 13 (almost 14) and they were 16, (Probably almost turning 17 because a bit after that they had 17 in their bio) they still replied with sexual implications for the characters even though they told me,

Murder stuff only huh? I get making sexual jokes with your friends, but I can't look down at someone nearly 3 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME, and be comfortable making those kinds of jokes.

I'm not saying he's a predator, no no not at all. What im saying is, that even though he may have tried making me feel welcomed and tried to be friendly, it was not in my best interest safety wise.

This had me thinking that making semi sexual jokes with older people was normal and okay. It is alright once in a long while, but I remember multiple occasions where he would respond with something like, "Oh yeah Naib blows readers back out when Eli isn't around."

Of course that isn't specific, but it isn't too far from incorrect.

At the time, I was still trying to be more social and getting over my social anxiety. It made me happy that someone ONLINE paid attention to me with positive things to say. Even if they were very... Effortless or braindead smut.

Now I'm not saying he had to reply to every one if my asks with a full mental analysis, but at that time, I just felt worthless and disappointed with the responses. Though I can understand why he had only replied with one sentence or two most of the time. The guy was answering a FUCK ton of asks every single day. I'm sure there was a lot of pressure there too.

He was also reblogging with his S/O a million times every day so there's that I guess.

He uses the same 7 brain cells with every ask. Literally just porn, porn, porn and porn. I don't have an issue with legit pure thirsting, but honestly the intelligence in the room dropped to 25 everytime I went on his blog.

He claims not to be racist and points out misrepresentation, yet chooses to turn a blind eye to his irl fictive S/O when they feel bad bc the racist character they are, is being seen as racist.

He didn't tell me to not make sexual jokes and set those boundaries once again knowing I was about 3 years younger, but encouraged them with keyboard smashes and more thirst.

Sending in semi sexual asks were mistakes I made on my part alone, but seeing it as entertaining and allowing it to continue was something that made him amplify the issue even further.

Being a fictive is difficult and messes with your mental health a lot, but that doesn't give him an excuse to defend explicitly racist characters when your fictive gf/husband cries about it. Just because you're ill or are an irl doesn't mean you are excused from these sort of things.

I don't know how it is to struggle with being one, or will ever know what it feels like, but I can be sure when I say, I do not tolerate picky hypocrites.

He wants to point out Kurumi for 'white washing' Naib? Okay, I get it. Doing the right and moral thing huh? Well then, allow me to point out the things I had experienced during time I spent and lost during the late year of 2020 and the entirely of 2021 - 2022.

Naib was already pale to begin with. Kurumi couldn't white wash him if he was already that color.

After all, even if they wanted to 'white wash' Naib, Netease already beat them to it. Netease is a colorist, racist, offensive, and overall problematic company.

Every single character of theirs has their issues and faults, but this 'white washing' accusation that has fallen on Kurumi's shoulders has weighed heavy enough. They are simply not true and have fallen short.

Kurumi is not a native English speaker. They were confused and anxious while he confronted them. They only had a basic understanding of what he was trying to say. I talked to them and it was never their intention to hurt anybody, especially people who are colored like me.

If he wants to confront someone improperly, it should be me. Not her.

I don't want drama. I just want what's hiding in the dark, to come out into the light. Thank you, have a good rest of your day.

[br1ghtestlight]

thinking about bubblegum's family too...... which is very much a play on the typical popular girl x nerd trope thats seen in high school dramas but it ends up being a bit sadder. her parents started dating when they were maybe fifteen and her dad was a SUPER socially awkward nerd while her mom was a typically cute fun and popular cheerleader but she asked him out and he was like uhh okay sure?? they dated throughout high school yknow irregardless of what other ppl thought and after that they decided they wanted to be Adults and her dad went to college they bought a house together etc and then of course they got pregnant and had a baby (bubblegum) but when she was like maybe a year or two old her mom went out on errands and she'd always been ditzy and distracted by bubblegum (my beloved btw) so she was talking on the phone while crossing the street and there was a truck driver who wasnt really looking where he was going and yeah she got hit by a car and died. her dad took this VERY hard bcuz they were high school sweethearts and now he was left alone with his tiny baby and no support but his mom/bubblegum's grandma moved in with them to help him thru his grief and eventually said if you dont start actually taking care of your daughter and being there for her im going to fight for custody (this was all when bubblegum was REALLY young like she doesnt remember any of this) and after that he Got Better and was like the best dad ever and it was always him and bubblegum against the world they are very close <3 i always like to joke that bubblegum got the worst traits from both her parents (unlikeable and socially awkward + generally stupid and oblivious to things) but she has lots of good traits too and i love her dearly

i always believed in another universe if bubblegum's mom hadn't died she would have had a baby brother :)

also i guess relevant to say that bubblegum's dad chose to never remarry. personally i think if your spouse dies when you're young its okay to remarry or date other people and its ALSO okay if you decide that you dont want to be with anyone else. its a very personal decision there isnt a wrong answer but it isnt because bubblegum's dad never moved on or got over her its bcuz he didnt want to. he's living a happy and healthy life without romance and thats okay bcuz romantic relationships arent the most important thing in the world

i think bubblegum's parents really have the same vibe as the love letter to end all love letters tbh

"I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world’s cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decided to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday."

"I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me."

"I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way."

[hirsheyskisses]

Wondering what ideas you can write with this song ! 💛 I have been addicted to the song 😭 Im sorry-

❝MISTERRRR POGCHAMP!❞

ᥫ᭡┆Luca Kaneshiro x Reader┆ᥫ᭡

𖥔 Absolute Fluff 𖥔

°⌜ Summary: ...THE SONG?? HHEBSn- ⌟°

A/N: HELP IVE PUT THIS OFF FOR SO LONG IM SO SORRY - its ben in my box for weeks as ive tried coming up w ideas- ANON IF YOU SEE THIS LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINKKK!

A/N 2: IIIII WINGED THIS ENTIRE THING BUT I HOPE YOULIKE

❝Mr. PogChamp, bring me a dream.. Make him the cutest that I've ever seen!❞

Meeting Luca Kaneshiro? It was like a dream. He came into your life with a bang, his smile brightening any room he was in, shining brighter than the sun itself. That time you met the members of Nijisanji? It was the best thing ever.

❝Give him two lips like roses and clover.. Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over~❞

Everything about Luca was absolutely beautiful. His smile, eyes, jokes, everything. Luca had stuck around you, and you had been drawn to him; you stuck to him like sap to a tree.

❝PogChamp, I'm so alone.. Don't have nobody to call my own.. Please turn on your magic beam- Mr. PogChamp, bring me a dream!❞

Every moment with Luca Kaneshiro was amazing. A frown would never be on your face when you were around him; and when it was, Luca would be sure to turn it upside-down. The more you got to know him, the more time you spent with the mafia boss, the more you felt yourself falling.

Falling for everything about him.

❝Mr. PogChamp, bring me pudding (balls in your mouth) Make him the cutest that I've ever scream (Scream without the C) Give him the word that I'm not a bofa (both of deez balls)-❞

These damn jokes-

Hah, you thought you could escape them? The 'deez nutz' jokes, or any? You thought wrong. But it was another one of his charms. He could easily start a conversation with a deez nuts joke; and you especially adored when he allowed a bit of his unseiso side sparkle through the seiso.

Though, some did manage to truly fluster you. Luca could be really charming.

❝Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over PogChamp, I'm slobberon (slobber on these nuts) Don't have nobody to call Rhydon (Rhydon deez nuts)-❞

As you dug deeper and deeper into who Luca was, you'd find- he was naturally extroverted. So those many, many nights he'd spent alone, or in his weaker moments with you, you'd see he truly did get lonely.

Well, that was until he talked you, as a friend, to move in with him.

I mean, how could you say no to those damn puppy eyes?

So now.. every morning, you awake to Luca's sunshine, eat together, spend so much time together- and be even further subject to his deez nutz jokes. There was no winning against him.

Or getting away from his hugs, for that matter.

❝Hey Boss! Happy 200k! That's... Amazing! But you know what else is amazing? You… -I mean deez nuts-❞

Being able to always be at his side while he grew was amazing. But.. you saw past it. You truly knew him.

And he had your heart.

❝Mr. PogChamp (Luca: Yes?) bring us a dream Give him a pair of eyes with a "come-hither" gleam Give him a lonely heart like POGliacci (stop) And lots of wavy hair like Liberace❞

So, did you become a menace? Well of course you did. As you grew even more with Luca, you decided it was your turn to fluster him. Returning his energy with ease, reducing him to nothing more than a flustered mess.

❝Mr. PogChamp, someone to hold (someone to hold) Would be so peachy before we're too old❞

Cuddling.. Luca insisted on it. Movie nights? You better be in his arms, or let him in yours. Reading a book? Well don't mind him resting his head in your lap. Dreamily looking out the window? Hah! He's got you in his arms in a matter of seconds.

And if he's sad or sick.. Well, he wants hugs! Those are the magic cure.

...And he knew exactly how you felt.

❝So please turn on your magic beam Mr. PogChamp, bring us, please, please, please Mr. PogChamp, bring us deez nuts--❞

...Even before the two of you had "officially" dated..

...Luca asked you to marry him.