#im not letting this take away my progress in trusting others... just. fuck.

[iwantabatlleaxe]

Feeeelingsss

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for flirting with my online friend 🌐❓

i (20s, trans man) have been getting closer to my online friend (same as me). we were mutuals for a while in what i can best describe as an online writing community but only started actually talking last year when i approached him to do a project together. we've been pretty strictly platonic for the last year but this year it's ramped up a bit (in part i think due to greater proximity)- we make a lot of sexual jokes at each other. now that's not necessarily a big deal because we do it at other male (and not male in his case) friends of ours, its just sort of how our circle interacts with each other, but it's a bit different for me because i do actually have somewhat of a crush on him. i'm not super sure of how he feels towards me, but i do think he knows at least partially how i feel and is at least humouring our banter.

now here's where i feel like an asshole. i have no intention of dating him at all- even if he does like me back, the reality is that we live on two entirely separate continents and neither of us have the financial means to go see each other. now you could suggest we date long distance or online but i've done that like 4 different times now with 4 different people and i just know it doesn't work for me, for a variety of reasons i won't get into. just trust me when i say it would end poorly. i'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes (nor do i want to be, bar one) and my friend is important enough to me that if we ended up like that then i'd be really upset about it. usually when i break up with someone or am broken up with i'm left with a lot of resentment and bitterness. plus our writing project would be tanked, which i'm not willing to jeopardise because i think it's excellent, he's a great partner.

in addition to that i'm only a few months out of a pretty rough breakup with someone i also had viewed as a close friend (irl, not online). i'm not conflating them here, because they aren't alike whatsoever, but i worry that im using my friend as an emotional rebound to cope with what my ex did to me, even if he doesn't know it. i don't want my ex back and i am honestly still feeling a lot of anger towards him, so it's been nice putting my attention and libido elsewhere. however i know how shitty it feels to be someone else's rebound guy and would hate to do that to my friend. plus i could be stunting my own healing progress?? idk

it initially was just a bit of fun but i've had to privately and seriously talk myself down from getting jealous as fuck when my friend has had other people jokingly (or not jokingly, who knows) flirt with him. i'm a pretty intense person (hi, bpd) so i've been trying to reign myself back and keep things chill and funny between us but i'm getting kind of concerned whether i should stop entirely so my feelings go away or if im fine enjoying giving and being given attention in return, even if it doesn't lead anywhere. even just liking him is kind of breaking three of the rules i'd set for myself after my last few relationship disasters (no more online stuff, no more white boys, let my brain cool down and dont be interested in anyone for at least a year) so i kind of just don't know where i should be taking this if anywhere

[roving-boi]

Dear Diary

I spent the weekend with my mom for my birthday. she picked me up and took me to the county fair which is inconveniently located right across the street from my school. So of course everyone from school was there. Not a big deal, I got to say hi to some school friends and still had a blast. It’s just a little sucky to run into familiar faces sometimes. I don’t really like the town I currently live in, scenery wise it’s alright. I like the small town vibe and stuff I just don’t really like the people themselves.

Anyway it was great and I got to meet an online friend in real life for the first time ever. They actually live not too far away but we never got to meet before. So we just planned to meet up at the fair and then we saw each other and hung out for a few hours. We went on rides together, browsed the shopping stalls, and I even bought him ice cream. He didn’t finish it but he was still quite happy about it so thats fine.

I’ve been writing a book lately, it’s a little far from being finished but I’ve been making progress. I’m hoping all goes well, and I get to have it done this year. I’m a little worried no one is going to read it, but I guess that’s okay. At least I put something out there. It’s this romance fantasy kinda aimed toward anyone looking for escape. The protagonist is this high school boy who is unhappy with their mundane life and one day steps through a mirror that takes them to another reality. They meet this magical bunny person and they kinda fall in love and then yeah. It took a lot of inspiration from deltarune. In case you’re a weirdo who plays indie games and that rung a bell. (No shame though because I think that makes you really cool) im excited to keep going with it but I hope I don’t give up.

Also one of my close friends from school (who I’ll just call Jay.) isn’t my friend anymore. Uh- well let me explain. So basically.. I made a group chat with me and another good friend (who knows jay, but moved away) and I was venting about how I feel like jay mistreats me. I feel like jay ignores me at school and I feel like we just haven’t been really getting along lately at all. Me and my one friend agreed and went back and fourth on our personal opinions regarding jay. Well, there was another friend of mine (who is an online friend, but also knows jay) who was also in the group chat. I guess they took screenshots of everything me and my friend said and sent it to jay. The next day at school, jay blew up at me and told me to never talk to her again. I was like what the fuck.

I trusted my friends and they literally betrayed me and all this drama happened. The reason I didn’t go to jay about anything up front is because I don’t think they would even care or acknowledge it. So I decided to vent to some close friends of mine and thought I could get some comfort. I guess I’m always the bad guy when I speak up about being mistreated. Like that one time my dad was yelling at me and chewing me out for like, no good reason. I told him to “chill” and he blew up oh my god. Yeah. So I never really have the right to say anything. Which you kinda learn to live with, but it’s still gay I guess. So I guess jay and her other little friends have all turned on me. But I don’t really care I don’t need them. It’s still unfair, but if you can’t roll with me then leave I guess.

Anyway, I have one week of school left and then summer. I’ll see what happens i dunno. I’m gonna get some rest. At least I updated and I’m not dead haha

[curly-bangtan]

Heatwave Anniversary Drabble: i miss u like ... a lot (M)

[Heatwave // Godless // Heatwave Drabbles] <- read first! but this drabble can be read alone

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Summary: One night until Taehyung is back from his boys’ trip but you miss him too much.

Genre: fluff, smut, kinda crack?, boyfriend/established relationship au

Warnings: unprotected sex (oc on contraception so don’t u do it), teasing over the phone, riding and grinding, just kinda vanilla i-missed-u-so-much sex, a particular selca

Word count: 5k

A/N: It was Heatwave’s one year anniversay on the 17th so I decided to write a quick(?) drabble for this. I fully intended on posting this on time, but wanted to change up some stuff so only managed to finish this now. Happy birthday to my first fic and forver my baby!

MOSTLY UNEDITED

.

The absolute one thing you hate most about your boyfriend being away from you is your boyfriend being away from you.

You have never been the clingy needy type, that is more his role in this relationship, nor are you really one to show affection. In fact, you would hate for that false image to be perceived of you because all that sappy shit makes you want to throw up your dinner. But one thing you’ve learnt since Taehyung had gone away on a week-long boys’ trip down by the coast is how cold the house feels in his absence, despite being in the middle of a sizzling summer.

Everything is so eerily quiet without his random outbursts into song and fits of laughter. Having spent 3 years living together, you have gotten so used to his constant presence that you had even caught yourself several times calling out for him only to remember that he isn’t here. Waking up without his arm draped around your waist, slided up your top at some point during the night, impacts you more than you’d like to admit.

Are you glad that he’s having a great time with his friends by the beach, relaxing all day and drinking all night? Of course. Are you having a great time all by yourself over here in the absence of your boyfriend? Certainly not.

Though, of course, this isn’t something you would confess to out loud, especially to him. He doesn’t need to know how often the thought: ugh fuck, I miss Tete is crossing your mind, lest you want him to rub his smugness in your face.

It isn’t just that. Your relationship hasn’t been without its tests in the course of its years and things have only finally stabilised. It’s not that you don’t trust Taehyung to be with his ladish friends for seven days, shirtless dusk till dawn, intoxicated to the point where he calls you thinking that you’re the pizza delivery guy but…

A hammered Taehyung at a beach full of girls who are no doubt thirsting over him leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You trust him to be loyal to his core, but you don’t trust anyone else to keep their hands from copping a feel. No matter how you look at it, you would just so much rather he be at home with you right now.

You have endured this for six days. Six full days without Taehyung. Six full days with no sex, no tummy kisses, no clammy hand holding even though you’re only to get groceries. Just one more night and this torture will fucking be over, praise the lord. But you also don’t know how much more you can hold back that I miss you text because you’re combusting from the need to see him again.

It’s almost 4am. Your sleep schedule is fucked and it’s really his fault.

The bright screen of your phone offers the only luminescence at this hour. Your messages from him in the past week have not been shy of your daily dose of Taehyung - clips of the beach (always mischievously caption with something along the lines of “thinking of Mykonos ;D” where you went on your first holiday together), selfies that you dwell way too long staring at because you miss that face buried in your neck, drunk videos of the antics him and the boys get up to that you’ll definitely chastise him for when he comes back yet can’t help but laugh at. You find yourself scrolling through them every single night.

Your personal favourite: a pouty selfie he sent you after he dropped his ice cream, the picture you always go back to and the one you’re staring at right now. His hair is frizzy from the sea, lips jutted out childishly and cheeks puffy. Your chest constricts, fuck...

Just one more night, you remind yourself. And then he’s back and all yours again.

Then suddenly, the phone in your hand vibrates, short and abrupt. The bar slides down from the top of your screen reading New Message from Tete. Surprised, you scramble to open it, maybe a bit too desperately for you to be proud of.

04:11

Tete: bby

You blink at those three letters, lips pressed together because your heart is cinching.

Tete: ur prob aslep rn but

Tete: i missu

Tete: <334

The typos indicate that he is wasted, and you take a guess that he has just returned from their last night out of the holiday. The corners of your lips turn up knowing that he is thinking of you right now.

You: no im awake

Your fingers are itching to reply with i miss u too, and it takes all your willpower and stubbornness to stay true to your steadfast self. There is just something so unpleasantly moist about these kinds of texts, something that makes you cringe and gag when you read them. You refuse to be one of those people. A heart is all that you allow yourself to reply.

You: <3

You: r u drunk?

Tete: drunk in love

Tete: yes

A giggle escapes you at his god awful cheesiness - drunk, sober alike. Insufferable. But probably Taehyung’s most endearing quality.

You: did u have fun!!

Tete: yeah

Tete: but i miss u

Tete: more than i had fun

God, you feel like a teenager again, suddenly overcome with this gushing urge to roll over and scream into your pillow. You’re glad he’s merely texting this to you right now because if he had said this to you face to face, your skin would most definitely stain scarlet from neck to hairline, scalding to the touch. Even months into officially being his girlfriend, these curveballs of overwhelming affection throw you off guard.

Again, the compulsion to tell him you miss him too yanks at your heartstrings. You truly don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to say how you feel, let yourself be soft and vulnerable. You know it’s one of your flaws so it’s something that you’re working on, but you can’t say you’ve made much progress.

But just as you decide that maybe you should take the plunge, suck it up and just text him those three words, he sends you a picture.

Tete:

No, not just a picture. A selfie, of him in bed, shirtless under the covers. “Oh, fuck…”

Hand clasped over your mouth to prevent any sound from involuntarily escaping, it takes a moment for your breath to return to you and for you to stop gawking. At this hour… Really? Is he seriously doing this to you right now?

His sleepy eyes. His messy curls. And his fucking nose mole.

The undoing of your existence.

Tete: this boy misses u :]

You: bruh

You: bruhhhhhhh

You: taehyung

Tete: oui my lady :))

You: 👁👄👁

You: can u not do this to my heart

You: y did u send me this </333

You: what was the reason

Tete: coz i miss u

Tete: do u like it

Tete: :D

‘Do u like it’... Actually, you have tears in your eyes, albeit mostly due to staring at a screen for too long so late at night, but it’s certainly contributed by this selfie. You tell yourself you’re acting out because it’s been six days since you last saw him. Perhaps Taehyung Withdrawal Symptoms is the explanation behind why you want to print and frame this picture because that is definitely not a normal reaction to a picture. But this is a masterpiece.

You: taehyung my soul left my body

You: like i could weep

You: u look so soft and fluffy

You: :’(

Tete: lollll

Tete: simp

This boy has some nerve?! Simp! He called you a simp?! Laughing like a maniac, you can’t even pretend to be mad at him, not after this picture he sent anyway. So you guess you are a simp. This selfie is your kryptonite.

Tete: jkjkkkkk

You: hahahaha

You: y r u doing this to me

You: its 4am

You: u can’t send me this rn

You: i won’t be able to sleep

Tete: o yeah how come ur still up?

Tete: go to sleepppp

You: can’t sleep

Tete: aw no whyyy

Because you miss him that’s why.

You miss Kim Taehyung. You miss Tete. You miss your boyfriend, your best friend, your other half. You miss his touch, his smile, his wide eyes when he’s confused. You miss his morning snuggles and late night kisses. You miss the way he hugs you from behind as you prepare your meals. You miss the wandering hands that he can’t help when you’re out in public. You miss playing PUBG together until the sun comes out then both sleeping past noon. You miss taking baths together where bubbles would get into your mouth as your kisses get heated.

You just miss him.

It’s only been six days and you’re in this state. What has he done to you?

Fingers hovering over the keyboard, you let out a great sigh and deflate. No other reason offers itself for you to be awake at this hour; he knows you cherish sleep above anything. Teeth digging into your lip, you inhale long and hard, then exhale the gust of your cowardice. It’s not that deep, stupid. Fuck it.

You: coz

You: i miss u

You: like … a lot

You: 🙄

It’s final - you guess you’ve become a mushy wet sap. Truly it is embarrassing how big of a step this is for you; but the sense of pride and accomplishment feels oddly validating. Baby steps. The eye-rolling emoji right after is subconscious because you could only betray the core of your character that much. Forgo it and taehyung might not believe that it’s you.

Tete: omg

Tete: :D

Tete: rrly?

You: *blank kissy emoji*

Tete: wow

Tete: u actually don’t know how hard i’m smiling rn

You: simp

Tete: ofc that’s my middle name

Tete: i miss u a lot too

Tete: like a lotttttt

Tete: i’ll show u how much when i’m back

Ah… Of course, the Taehyung specialty - smothering you with his affection. You freeze at the thought of his wildfire kisses and head between your thighs. Nothing screams of how much you’ve missed each other more than a good dicking down, climax after climax until you’re both panting messes of sweat and entangled limbs. The anticipation makes you squirm under the sheets, legs pressing together.

You: pls do

You: i need u

It’s uncertain what spirit has possessed you at this ungodly hour for these words to come out of you. There’s an instant flash of ickiness, but you let the self-cringing simmer and dissipate into the realisation that this is okay, this is normal. Taehyung’s your boyfriend, couples text like this. You need to grow some.

Tete: fuck baby

Tete: i’m so not used to u texting like this, it's driving me crazy

You: crazy how *cat smirk*

If you weren’t smiling before, you’re definitely grinning like an idiot now. His reaction is predictable, yet oddly still, an incredible wave of satisfaction hits you. And because you want to savour this moment, maybe give him a taste of his own medicine, you send him a picture of yourself.

Camisole strap slid off your shoulder, hair splayed out, bottom lip deep red from biting down on it too much. Just to return the favour.

Tete: y/n

Tete: call me now

-Incoming call from Tete-

Laughing to yourself, you wait a good few seconds before picking up to prolong his torture. “Yes, Taehyung?” You put your thumb between your teeth to suppress the laughter.

“Fuck.” Against the silence of the night, the low rasp of his voice permeating into you from the speaker of your phone sends tingles up your toes. You’ve fucking missed his voice more than you thought. “Y/N… You can’t do this to me.”

“I told you, I miss you. Like… a lot.” The saccharine tone in your reply is foreign to your own ears, but you like the sound of it and the deep rumble it elicits from your boyfriend.

“How much?” Taehyung eggs you on. His words are barely slurred, so you gather that he has sobered up at least for the most part by now. Yet there is still a slowness to it that suggests

“Hmm, like… I touched myself every night at the thought of you a lot.”

A sharp inhale. Then silence. But you know better so you give him a moment to gather himself.

“You shouldn’t be putting that image in my head.” Exasperation is evident in his voice, desperate and yearning. You can imagine him now, one hand on his phone, the other sliding over his pants that are getting a bit too tight for comfort. Your breath hitches.

“Then you shouldn’t have sent me that picture, Taehyung…”

“You said it was soft and fluffy. What you sent me back was not soft and fluffy.”

“Just because it’s soft doesn’t mean it doesn’t turn me on. You do things to me… okay?” Heat trapped beneath the skin of your cheeks, your grip on the phone against your ear slackening as your thighs rub together.

“Fuck, I’m getting hard, baby…” Nothing gets him going more than the knowledge that he turns you on, it’s his weakness but somewhat his strength.

“That’s… unfortunate. Are you going to do something about it?”

His gulp is audible even over the phone. “Uh…” A sigh. “Um. Maybe. Thoughts are being thought.”

“What kind of thoughts? Thoughts about me touching myself and moaning your name? Thoughts about how much I wish my fingers were your cock thrusting so deep into me that I feel it in my guts? Or are you thinking about what you’ll do to me when you’re back tomorrow? Fucking my mouth until I’m crying or filling me up with your cum first?” Your hips buckle at the filth leaving your mouth. This is more like you; you haven’t abandoned your nature after all.

“Oh, fuckkkk.” His moan resonates into your skull, not quite as if he’s here with you but good enough to fill your desire. “Y/N… I need you so badly.” Breath ragged, you hear movement of his sheets in the background as he adjusts into a more comfortable position.

“Are you stroking your cock right now?” A warm slick oozes out of your own entrance. There’s something about Taehyung masturbating to you that elevates you to a different kind of high.

“What do you think, baby?” As you listen closely, you hear the slow rhythm of his pumping, and your fingers ache to pleasure yourself. ‘The things I’ll fucking do to you when I’m back.”

“Mmm, but it’s late, Taehyung, why don’t we go to sleep.”

“Wait, what?” The stroking stops instantly and surprise in his voice releases a smug satisfaction into your veins. The equivalent of pouring a bucket of ice water over his head right now. Teasing is an old undying habit, what can you say? “You wanna end the call now?”

“Yeah, we should sleep, babe.” Grin unsuppressed, you turn over onto your side, probably a bit too pleased with yourself at your success. Taehyung is an easy victim always.

“What the fuckkk?” Your boyfriend groans. “You’re seriously going to tease me this hard then leave me high and dry?” When you offer no more response than a sly chuckle, he add, “You’re so evil.”

“Save it for tomorrow, Taehyung. Think about it, we’re one sleep away from seeing each other again.”

“Fuck, I know. But you just got me so fucking horny, bruhhh. I thought we were gonna have phone sex.” You are still laughing at his whining, basking in the victory you’re holding over him.

“Taehyung, save it for the real sex.” The idea of phone sex crossed your mind several times to be honest, but you really want to collect every single drop of desire and longing and unleash it tomorrow. Raw and pent up. Nothing to dampen the fire.

A sigh of defeat down the line. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know?” You know. “How am I supposed to sleep now though? I’m so rock hard that it hurts.”

“You can figure that out yourself, big guy.” Your cheeks ache from smiling for too long; they often do during calls with him. “One sleep away, okay?”

“Ugh, fine, you demon. I can’t believe you sometimes.” He lets out another sigh. Your heart skips at the anticipation of how he will punish you for this. “Good night, I miss you.”

“Good night, I miss you more.” There’s a sudden change of tone with these words. Because you truly mean it. Sex and physical intimacy aside, you really just missed his voice, his banter.

You fall asleep almost immediately.

.

You don’t think you’ve heard a sweeter sound than the keys rattling at the door the next day. Practically leaping off the couch where you had been awaiting him in your Taeyhyung-less boredom, you run to the door.

As it swings open, heat courses to your chest when your eyes land on his, so full of comfort. Your boyfriend is home. Handsome as ever, much more tanned than your memory of him and much more attractive. White t-shirt and loose black shorts, a mundane outfit that only he could make look exceptional.

And as much as you want to sprint up and throw yourself onto him, your feet stay planted on the floor.

“Hey.” You barely breathe out.

Stay calm and composed, you tell yourself. It was only one week without him, it’s not like he’s returning from war.

But Taehyung doesn’t even reply, because in two long strides he is standing before you, bags tossed to the side, a sign of their insignificance in the presence of you. His arms find their home circled around you, face buried in your hair before you can utter another word. You don’t hesitate to return his embrace, holding his waist as you let yourself fall into his chest. He smells like what summer should, the ocean, sweat and young love; his familiar musk greeting you as if he never left.

Your lips meet his, strong and full of intent. He’s so unexpectedly soft when he kisses back, a timeless romantic dance like he is saviour your taste on his tongue.

With your weight leaning on him, he slowly topples back, stepping hastily until your bodies land on the couch. You fit your legs on either side of him as you burrow your nose in his neck and breathe him in, memorise him. In nothing but a large shirt, your bare thighs are exposed for his roaming.

When you pull away and face each other, you are struck by his beauty. His skin is sun-kissed and glowing, hair an effortlessly beautiful mess, the slightest hint of a stubble peeking through below his nose. Your heart belongs to him forever, you know it without a doubt.

“You smell so good. I missed you so much, baby.” And his voice… That deep baritone honey that you have taken for granted all this time - music to your ears.

“Imissedyoutoo…” You mumble, shy under his undivided attention and mercilessly unbroken eye contact.

With your chests pressed together, his chuckle rumbles into you. “What was that?”

“I missed you too… I guess.” Face flaming, you can’t bring yourself to meet his eye at your admittance, fingers twirling around his curls to preoccupy yourself.

But he cups your chin and turns your face to him, forehead pressing up to yours until your noses are touching, breaths mixing. “That’s not what you said last night.” Taehyung smirks, hands sliding down to your waist, the material of your shirt bunching up in his hands. “Do I need to remind you?”

“No…” You find yourself unable to keep your eyes open, your core pulsing mercilessly as you grind onto him. “How are you already hard, Taehyung…” And though you mean to scold him, it comes out breathless.

Lips hovering, he traces the edge of your jaw, tingling the sensitive little hairs on its way to your ear. When he reaches the shell of your ear, warm breath infiltrating so relentlessly into you, you almost lose yourself right there on his lap. “Don’t you know how much I love you?” He whispers.

“Show me.” Is all you make out.

His hands are already beneath your shirt before you even notice, palms kneading into your breasts as he takes your nipples between his two fingers and rolls. As he kisses you again, the same tenderness exchanges between your lips. It’s a different kind of desperation to be so slow and gentle, one that means so much more than sex, one that’s telling of how much you truly missed each other. Your hips roll with a mind of their own over him. One hand of his comes down to your ass, guiding the waves of your rocking. And each time his stiff clothed member digs into your clit, you whimper into his mouth.

Carefully, Taehyung rolls you over onto your back, sucking your bottom lip to keep the seal from breaking. He pulls away when he’s on top of you, and a string of glistening saliva bridges between your mouths. “Foreplay or no? Tell me what you want?” Compliant as ever.

“I need you to fill me up right now. Anything else can wait.” You watch the devotion ignite in his eyes. His fingers are in a hurry as they pull your panties off, knees spreading your legs open as he kneels between your gaping entrance. He tugs his shirt off from the collar, such smoothness in his action that your insides coil up. His newly-bronzed rich skin revealed, you can’t help but reach up and run your hands down from chest to navel, revelling in his blemishless ridges.

A low sound reverberates from the back of Taehyung’s throat as your touch travels down to unbutton his shorts. They fall loose. His hard throbbing members springs free, a glistening bead oozing from his slit. “You didn’t wear boxers?”

When you glance up, you notice his sheepish grin. He presses his mouth onto yours, still smiling, guiding you back onto your back. “I just couldn’t wait.” Taehyung whispers. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, especially since last night… Ah, fuck.” Another deep groan erupts from him as you reach down and slather that bead of precum all over his tip. His head falls onto your neck, writhing under your merciless stroking.

His tip brushing against your clit, your toes curls at the teasing of your weakness, hips jolting up involuntarily and perhaps a bit too violently. You’re so embarrassingly sensitive after this many days without Taehyung, and he notices from your breathless reaction. Smirking, he takes his shaft in his hand and runs his stiff head over your clit mercilessly. And as you roll your head back helplessly, he nibbles onto your exposed neck, faint stubble grazing your skin.

“Quit the teasing…” You whine, unable to withstand the build up of twisting pressure begging to be fulfilled between your legs. “Just put-”

Taehyung pushes himself into you so abruptly that you yelp. And there it is, that mind-melting stretch of your walls that you’ve so much missed. “Fuck, Taehyung…” Your entire core feels ablaze, so numbing that your nails dig into the leather of the couch before they find grip on his arms.

“Like that, baby?” His voice his strained, as if he’s struggling not to lose his mind as well.

Nodding because you can’t make out a word as he slowly pulls out, you grab his face and pull him up to meet your lips. You whimper into him mouth when he rams into you again, hitting your walls in full force, no mercy. His kiss doesn’t lose its sincerity despite the juxtaposition of his vigorous thrusts, though you can’t say that he is quite as gentle with as before. You pinch his bottom lip between your teeth, sucking on it as your fingers get lost in his hair.

After seven days of deprevation of his cock, your cunt is leaking with the fluid of your arousal, aiding in the ease of each plunge. You feel the stiffness of his ridges pulling you open as he slides in and out of you. “Fuck…” He pants, mouth hovering over yours.

“Let me get on top.” Taehyung’s eyes flash at your suggestion, instantly rolling onto his back. He slips out during the switch of position and the wetness of your cunt is assailed by a sudden rush of cool air.

You swing your leg over and mount him, watching him watch you pump his dick, your own liquid slathered over him sticky in your hand. Letting his member fall against his abdomen, you grind over him between your folds, hands splayed out over his chest. The friction created each time your clit would slide over the thin pinch of skin where his tip unfolded into his shaft has Taehyung a groaning mess.

He looks remarkable under you.

You push his sweat-dampened curls out of his forehead, eyes half closed in euphoria, half watching you roll your cunt so lewdly over his length. You know you could make him cum like this if you continue. But you want him to cum inside you first, you want to feel that thick hot spurt of his desire shoot again and again into you until his cock is twitching.

So slowly, lubricated by your wetness, you sink inch by inch down until the skin of your ass meets his thighs. This angle fuck with your mind; you think you feel him at your cervix. Then your hips start to do what they know best, pounding over him with a rhythm that you’re proud of.

Taehyung grabs hold of your waist, your breasts, fury in his eyes as he watches you ride him with such determination. “I love you so much.” He heaves between heavy breaths.

“I love you, I missed you more than you could imagine.” You huff, thumb running over his red swollen lips.

“I love when you admit it.” He sits up and takes the swell of your breast in his mouth, making his way to your nipples where his tongue relentlessly flickers over.

Your thighs are starting to burn, core aching because his cock is thrusting up into you so deep that you feel it in your guts. The signs are appearing - your vision is going hazy, walls squeezing tightly around him, tangle upon tangles knoting in your stomach. His are too - his head is slumped against your chest, arms crossed behind your back as he holds you close to him, whole body starting to tense as he begins to curse.

Pace quickening, you don’t let the tire of your muscles stop you from your chase. The slap of your skins ringing in your ears, you keep riding, cunt swallowing his cock whole each bounce. Taehyung breaks first. “Fuck!” He calls out into your neck. His cum squirts into you, pulse after pulse, your boyfriend’s hips jolting each thrust.

“I’m so close, babe, keep going for me.” You plead, knowing how sensitive he is right after his climax. He nods wordlessly, face still buried in you hair. The lubrication of his cum abolishes any resistance, letting you slide over him easier than sitting down. And not five thrusts later, your own coil snaps. You through your head back at the wave of pleasure that drowns you, your entire core on fire as your moans echo through the room. It takes maybe twenty seconds for your walls to stop throbbing and for the orgasm to slowly die down.

Taehyung is already growing limp inside you after his orgasm. “Thank you.” You whisper against his forehead while you dismount. His cum flows out of your slit and down the insides of your thighs, but he refuses to let go of you.

When he looks up, you are struck by an overwhelming sensationf of adoration. His long dark curls fall slightly over his eyes, in disarray but just the way you like it. His eyes are so full of genuine love and gratitude of having you that you can’t help but capture him with your lips. “No, thank you.” He mumbles against you, falling back onto the couch with you in his embrace.

After a long kiss of after-sex affection, you pull away before it leads to a second round. “I want you to know that I really missed you a lot. I can’t even call you a big baby anymore because I stared at all the pictures you sent me every night till the sun came out.”

Taehyung’s boyish smile melts your heart. You’ve missed him way too much. His smile, his goofy comments, his tender kisses. “My heart… is squeezing…” If his smile doesn’t tell how smitten he is, his eyes definitely do. “I missed you so much too. All the boys made fun of me for being such a wettie ‘coz I couldn’t shut up about you.” The thought is so endearing that you can’t help but hide your face.

“So how was your trip? Plenty of hot girls drooling after you?” Trick question of course, you know that for a fact already.

“Haha, it was good, fun. Bet you couldn’t sleep ‘coz you were trembling from jealousy.” Scoffing you land a smack on his chest. “But nah, no hot girls. Nowadays there’s only one hot girl in my eyes.”

Your own lips spread like a cheshire cat. “Shut up, cutie.”

“Rachel McAdams.”

“Let go of me. Don’t even touch me.”

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A/N: Moral of the story, never sit on their couch if you’re a guest at the Heatwave house.

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24/08/20

© Copyright 2020

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[mitts2002]

Aight’ Bet

Hi this is my first time posting on here so I hope whoever is reading this enjoys!! This is a noritoshi kamo x reader where the nori and (Y/N) need a little push from their wonderful Gojo sensei to finally confess~

"Dont you think (Y/N) and noritoshi would make the cutest couple!?" Gojo screamed over the phone to Utahime who sighed in response.

"I can't help but disagree Gojo, Noritoshi doesn't seem ready for a relationship plus is the only reason you rang me really to discuss our students non existent love lives?" Utahime retorted knowing that the couple would in fact be adorable yet refusing to accept that Gojo could actually be right about something.

"No Utahime! I bet if them two were able to spend a few hours together the tension would build up so high that one of them would burst and BAM a couple would be born" the blue eyed male replied, the volume of his voice increasing with each word trying to convince her that they were the highschool sweethearts the jujustu world needed.

“How could you even say that!? I get that its cute whenever they glance at each other and shy away with cute little blushing cheeks but i bet it would take more than a few hours for a whole relationship to-” “OH you bet“ Gojo interrupted an obvious smirk on his face knowing Utahime wouldn’t back down from his advances.

“you know what i meant idiot i wasn’t actually trying to make a bet with you especially after what happened last time” the black haired woman scoffed after hearing a chuckle through the phone.

“Aight’ bet! tomorrow ill bring my second years to kyoto for some training and then lets see if something happens between our precious students“ Gojo proposed excitedly as if he were a child in a sweet shop.

“you know what fine! and im only agreeing cause i know nothings gonna happen tomorrow between them i mean noritoshi is too stiff and (Y/N) always backs out last minute” utahime exclaimed not wanting to prove Gojo right. “GREAT! if i win then you will have to be my slave for 2 whole days and if you win ill be your-” “wait i never agreed to that!” “see ya tomorrow then!” Gojo had quickly rushed his farewells before hanging up relieved he avoided Utahime’s lecture.

"Alright class!" Gojo sensei yelled excitingly as he burst through the doors. This overgrown man child always had something new, it could never be a regular class where his students actually learn then were let out for a break. No Gojo Satorou had to be the most extra male on this earth and for the first time ever it worked in his second year student (Y/N)'s favour.

"What it is now?" Maki groaned with an annoyed expression on her face. No one could blame her though after all the blindfolded man put his beloved students through. "Don't be so sour maki! Be like me a sweet little mochi~ Oh and before I forget I wanted to let you all know that we will meeting with our lovely sister school for some training. Isnt that great!?" Gojo sensei had announced clapping his hands and smiling brightly.

'I wonder if training is all this is' (Y/N) thought to herself realising how sus this situation was before speaking out "wait Gojo sensei weren't we meant to learn a super secret technique today? You said that you were gonna show it us yesterday and that nothing could stop you" (Y/N) questioned as Inumaki gave a little "shake" for support.

"Well my dear (Y/N) something VERY important has come up and we must go to kyoto immediately. You have no right to deny and we will be leaving in 30 minutes so go grab whatever you kids need" Gojo sensei had practically sung before skipping out the door. What an odd man everyone collectively thought before getting up to grab whatever they needed.

30 minutes has passed and in that time panda had gathered his and maki's weapons while you and toge stocked up on cough medicine and basic medical equipment. The journey was short since Gojo had practically teleported you all there and all that was left was to approach the students.

A few figures from the distance were slowly coming into view and (Y/N) could vaguely make out that only utahime, miwa, mai, momo and noritoshi had attended this last minute joint training.

Despite the others reaching and gathering around your small group of second years giving their greetings the only thing your eyes could focus on was noritoshi’s thick black hair as it gently swayed in the breeze. Honestly it was as if the man was in a L'Oréal advert or something.

"(Y/N) stop staring we all know you both have this weird thing going on but we're here to train not flirt dumbass" Maki had whispered into your ear but little did she know that you were in fact here to flirt and not train due to a certain bet between two teachers.

“alright kids listen up! me and the wonderful Utahime sensei have set up this last minute training as its always good to train with new people and techniques. Everyone will be working in pairs“ Gojo announced before Utahime continued.

“The teams we decided on today will be Maki and Miwa, Momo and Imumaki, Panda and Mai then (Y/N) and Noritoshi. Eveyones free to do whatever they want in their sparring matches just don’t severely injure each other, me and Gojo will be watching over the matches and determine the winners“ Utahime informed all the students before they scurried off to in different spaced out areas.

"So Noritoshi how are you? Its been a while since we've last seen eachother" (Y/N) said trying not to let her nervousness show.

"I'm alright just studying and training to be honest. Although I recently started to practice cursive and can even write my own name now" he responded with pride and a small nice.

You laughed causing Noritoshi to cock his head to the side in confusion. "Is there something wrong with cursive?" His deep voice asked with clear offense.

"No no it's just that's so freaking cute and you look so happy about it too" (Y/N) teased with more laughter and ruffled his hair

"Oi don't touch my hair do you know how long it takes to do these wrap bang things?"

"Well how would I know I've never done them nori"

"Well one day I could teach you if you'd like" Noritoshi offered looking to the side trying to hide his red cheeks.

"Aww I'd love that I'm awful at doing hair to be honest so learning some new styles would be great but first we gotta get this dumb sparring match over and done with" (Y/N) moaned as she got into position.

_______________________________

An hour had flew by and the students were taking a break from their matches happily chatting away while the teachers spoke in private about their progress. “come on look at the way they look at eachother OH (Y/N) touched his shoulder SHES FLIRTIN-” “GOJO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR SO DAMN LOUD” “sorry but loooook they in love” Gojo cried out with fake tears in his cerulean eyes

“Alright lets just observe look theyre going to the vending machine to get some drinks like FRIENDS DO“ Utahime emphasised on the friends worried she might lose and become this awful mans slave for 2 days.

_______________________________

“Nori im gonna go get a drink from the vending machine do you want one?” “Actually ill just come with you if you dont mind” “OH sure thats fine does anyone else want anything!?” (Y/N) yelled to the whole group receiving a choir of get me this please or get me that and the single tuna mayo.

The walk to the vending machine was quiet but a comfortable silence had fallen upon the pair. It was always like this when you were around Noritoshi Kamo. Peaceful. She didnt feel the need to go the extra mile to entertain him or ensure he wasn’t bored in your presence as your playful banter and sarcastic remarks towards one another was enough for the both of you. 

“(Y/N) is it me or have Gojo and Utahime sensei been staring at us more than the others?“ Noritoshi questioned unable to shake off the feeling of being watched. “Um i’m not too sure i havent been really paying attention to anything other than yo-“ Embarrasment washed over (Y/N) as the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“Is that so?“ Nori smirked slightly as you swore you could drop dead right here in this moment. “No i just meant that” “Meant what?“ Noritoshi interrupted leaning closer as you fumbled through your words

“OH LOOK the vending machine is right there better get those drinks“ You quickly said and scrambled away before Noritoshi could get any closer.

“SEE Nori was too intimidating and (Y/N) ran off despite clearly wanting him! its never gonna happen today“ Utahime whispered to Gojo benhind the bushes as he shook his head. “Trust me i have faith in my wonderful (Y/N) I AINT RAISED NO BITCH“ He exclaimed in response while Utahime facepalmed.

The two young adults had collected all the drinks they needed and were ready to walk back to the group. ‘come on (Y/N) you’ve liked this man forever now and everyone knows he must like you back ITS NOW OR NEVER HOE’ (Y/N) screamed words of encouragement to herself before grabbing Noritoshi’s sleeve.

“Is everything alright (Y/N)?” “I have something ive been meaning to tell you Nori, I um like you a lot and i’d like to take you out if you dont mind” (Y/N) had practically yelled at the poor boy because of her stupid nerves and adrenaline.

The silence was broken by an angelic laughter coming from none other than Noritoshi Kamo. “Well i would’ve liked to be the one to take you out but i guess sometimes its alright for traditions and stereotypes to be broken by the younger generation” Nori responded as he walked closer to (Y/N) wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a sweet kiss. The kiss was messy and clearly new to the both but filled with much love and passion that was finally being expressed by the pair.

As their lips eventually pulled away never wanting this to end, heavy breaths filled the air and cheeks flushed but all that was interrupted by a white haired male clapping in the background screaming “YES I WIN” while the other teacher crouched to the ground tears in her eyes.

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

[glimmerglanger]

Oof!au prompt!!! Listen, someone had to ask for this: Cody and Obi-Wan's REAL first time! :O

Anonymous said:

Early spicy Sunday request for some Cody/Obi Wan from the ooof!AU <3 I just want them to be happy :,))

Anonymous said:

can I request a spicy codywan oof!au snippet of their first time? I just want them to be happy so bad

Anonymous said:

I hope this is ok to ask, what’s the plan for the oof au prompt of their first time? I totally understand if you’re not working on old stuff right now because of work, swbb, prompts and whatnot! Im only curious if you plan on finishing it one day. Please don’t take this as me pressuring or demanding from you! I just want to know if I should shelve my excitement for a little while and bring it out later or drop it if you don’t feel like revisiting it. Thanks!

GUESS WHAT I FINALLY FINISHED. I’ve been picking away at this for a while (obviously) but I have wrapped it up! 

As a reminder, since it’s been a while, there was a lot of torture in the oof!au. They’re well on the road to recovery in this fic (it’s far after Obi-Wan made his new lightsaber and got his prosthetic arm, for example) but there are still mentions of past torture and the fallout of both mind control and non-con.

ALSO this is spicy! VERY spicy! Not safe for wizards! 

~~~~~~~

Obi-Wan slept better with someone beside him. He wondered, sometimes, if that had always been true and he’d just never had the opportunity to find out, before… Everything that happened. There was no way to go back in time to find out, so he left the consideration go, released it from his mind.

He focused on enjoying, instead, the safety of the present. He woke, most days, with Cody pressed close to him. He’d mentioned, only once, that Cody did not always have to sleep between him and the door - if their sleeping area happened to have a door - and Cody had just looked at him, expression hard and flat.

Obi-Wan let that go, too.

The mind healers had helped them so much, but there were some things they could not change, some reassurances that they held onto.

Cody slept better with Obi-Wan against a wall, or tucked into a corner. Defensible. Obi-Wan slept better with Cody’s warm presence close. That was just...how it was.

Obi-Wan blinked his eyes open on the Recompense because he was not sleeping well at all, his dreams troubled. And so, perhaps, it was not much of a surprise to find that Cody was not all warm and relaxed against him. Instead, Cody was tense, half-drawn away from him.

“Mm?” Obi-Wan mumbled, not fully awake. He rolled, moving to press back into Cody’s warmth even as Cody put a hand on his hip, squeezing, perhaps trying to catch him back. It did not work. There wasn’t enough room in their little bunk for it to work and their bodies so naturally gravitated towards one another.

Obi-Wan settled against him, and Cody made a ragged little sound, and then rasped out, “Sorry.”

Obi-Wan blinked, but even through the haze of exhaustion it was not difficult to determine what he was talking about. Cody was hard against his hip, which was… a surprise not as rare as it had once been.

It had taken time - and lengthy discussions with the mind healers - to reach that point. Cody still seemed startled when he hardened and, sometimes, apologized, though Obi-Wan had thought they were past that. He shook his head, squirming closer, and said, “You don’t need to be sorry. I like it.”

Cody exhaled, ragged. Obi-Wan felt it against his neck, the back of his head. Cody said, voice still tense, though, at least, he had not climbed from the bed, “But you were asleep.”

“So were you,” Obi-Wan pointed out, reaching up and covering Cody’s hand with his. 

Cody relaxed, just a little. He asked, “You really don’t...mind?”

“I don’t mind,” Obi-Wan confirmed, briefly regretful that the conversation was waking him up fully. He squeezed Cody’s fingers and pushed back a little more, with full intent to press against the hardness still brushing the curve of his ass. He repeated, because Cody always eased when he heard it, “I like it. I like when you touch me.”

Cody’s grip tightened again, but he did not feel worried, not through the Force. His emotions slid over into something else as he shifted, responding to the pressure and then going still again, pressing his face against Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

Obi-Wan shifted, just a little, and said, “I’d like to help you with that.”

Cody groaned, faintly, against his skin, and then said, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Which...meant he was almost certainly thinking about intercourse. About fucking Obi-Wan. These days, he only worried about hurting Obi-Wan in that context. They’d never even attempted it, because the idea worried him so.

They’d made so much progress. Cody did not worry about it every time they were intimate, not when they touched one another, not even when Obi-Wan went to his knees and slid his mouth down Cody’s cock.

Obi-Wan had thought they’d gotten past the last of the worries about doing harm during intercourse, after Cody had broached the idea of them fucking, after Obi-Wan had worked him open slowly and carefully slid into him, letting them both find their pleasure.

But, afterwards, Cody had been agitated, had risen from the bed and said, almost gutted, “There wasn’t any blood,” and seemed guilty about it, and--

They’d spent a lot of time at the mind healers over that, dealing with Cody’s reaction to the fact that Obi-Wan had not hurt him at all, that it did not have to hurt--

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that not everyone had...past experience with torture. It was hardly the first time someone had tried to break Obi-Wan apart, using whatever means necessary. But it was not the same for his men. For Cody.

“I know you won’t,” Obi-Wan said, quietly, setting aside the past. He added, when Cody said nothing, “I know you’d make me feel good, Cody.” And, when Cody pulled him around, making a rough sound, Obi-Wan kissed his mouth and curled an arm around him. And they did nothing but rock against each other, Cody eventually sliding a hand into his sleeping pants, but the conversation hung at the back of Obi-Wan’s mind in the days that followed.

#

The conversation was still there, lingering in his thoughts, days later, when they returned to their quarters, showered off, and Cody said, in the process of drying off, “Would you like me to - to do that?”

Obi-Wan blinked over at him, water chilling his skin, and asked, “Do what?”

Cody clenched his jaw and then blew out a breath through his nose. “Be inside you. The way--you’ve done it. For me.” He looked up, before Obi-Wan could reply, eyes dark and wide, intent. “I wouldn’t--I’d make sure it didn’t hurt. I promise. I wouldn’t--”

“I know,” Obi-Wan said, soft, touching his hand. Cody’s shoulders had tensed up, a muscle in his jaw jumping, over and over again. Cody kept eye contact, and Obi-Wan shifted just a little closer, continuing. “And yes. I’d like that. Whenever you’re ready.” 

Cody rocked his jaw, side to side, and asked, “Are you...ready?”

Obi-Wan shrugged. “I trust you,” he said, and watched Cody tense even further.

He tugged, just a little, on Cody’s shoulder, and Cody shifted into his space, curled an arm around him, just….held him, tension eventually easing from him, touching with more intention, until Obi-Wan was pressed against the wall, gasping up to the ceiling as Cody slid down, mouth hot and wet and good, already more than Obi-Wan had ever thought they’d get to have.

#

When Cody finally decided he was ready, Obi-Wan thought it was not so much motivated solely by desire. There was far too much determination in Cody’s expression, when he pulled away from a kiss, both of them laying on their sides, curled towards one another, Cody’s hand still around Obi-Wan’s recently spent cock.

He’d pushed aside Obi-Wan’s hand, every time Obi-Wan tried to touch him in return, which made more sense when he rasped, ragged, “Can I--can we--could I be inside you?” 

Obi-Wan nodded, gut tightening at the thought, and managed to answer; the mind healers had reminded him, often, that he needed to speak his feelings more, “Yes, Cody. Please.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Cody said, and there was a promise and a certainty there, that Obi-Wan had thought they’d never get to again. There’d been a time Cody had seemed convinced that he would be unable to avoid causing hurt and pain. 

Now he spoke the words like a vow, sealing them with a kiss that left Obi-Wan groaning, holding onto him. 

They’d done this often enough the other way around that Cody seemed confident about the steps that ought to come next. Obi-Wan shifted onto his back, unsurprised when Cody settled beside him, leaning over to kiss him once more.

Cody still shied away from being over him, most of the time. 

Obi-Wan shifted, gasping when Cody ran a hand down his stomach, hesitating for only a moment before sliding his touch further down. “That’s nice,” Obi-Wan managed to pant out, at the first brush of pressure, and--

--and he’d wanted, for longer than he cared to think about, to erase away the memories of what Anakin had done. He’d wanted to replace them with something else, to push them back and away, as he’d done--

But it hadn’t been up only to him. And the thought of rushing Cody into something he wasn’t ready to do would have been beyond consideration. Cody pushed up onto his elbow, eyes impossibly focused on Obi-Wan’s expression as he slid slick fingers over skin, carefully, cautiously, sliding the tip of one finger inside, and--

Obi-Wan groaned, tilting his hips up and into the touch, Cody rasping, “It’s--?”

“Good,” Obi-Wan reassured him, and fought the urge to close his eyes or look away. He could feel, pouring out of Cody’s head, how much he needed...this. Needed to look and see, to watch Obi-Wan’s eyes while he moved his hand, going so slow that it became a tease, that it had Obi-Wan squirming on the bed, skin growing over-hot, his cock - impossibly - hardening again.

Cody made a low sound when he glanced down Obi-Wan’s body and noticed, and Obi-Wan panted, “See? I told you it was good.”

“Force,” Cody swore, and bent to kiss him, moving his hand a little faster, still only two fingers in and--and Obi-Wan wondered if he planned to stretch preparation until morning, and groaned at the thought, shifting to meet each movement of Cody’s touch, tangling fingers into his hair, breathing unsteadily as Cody shifted to get his other hand on Obi-Wan’s cock, stroking--

In the end, they did not make it until morning. Obi-Wan could take no more, eventually, heels sliding across the blankets as his body thrummed and he panted out, “Cody, oh--”

Cody paused, hand just going still, fingers sunk in deep, pressed against the spot that made Obi-Wan ache, that had his back bowing up without his instruction at the prolonged pressure, spots going off behind his eyes and--

He’d been on edge for so long. Falling over it felt like a relief, even if there was guilt, too, that Cody had not come once. Cody did not seem offended, when Obi-Wan shook himself, blinking aside the pleasure, the dizzy warmth moving through his veins.

Cody looked...surprised, but satisfied, the way he’d ever looked after a victory hard fought. And seeing that expression on his face in their bed made Obi-Wan groan, unexpectedly, shivering all down his back.

“That felt good for you,” Cody said, not like a question, and Obi-Wan nodded anyway. 

“Yes,” he rasped, “very much so.”

Cody stared at him, for a beat, breathing raggedly, and then said, “Should--can I….?”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan muffled the sound that rose in his throat when Cody slid his fingers free - almost too fast - and then Cody was hesitating, for the first time, looking over him with a little furrow forming on his brow and--

“Roll over,” Obi-Wan advised, because he felt loose and half-dizzy and he wanted.

He noted the relief on Cody’s expression, even as Cody rolled onto his back, the blankets tangled all around him, muscles shifting in his chest as he reached for Obi-Wan, his breath punching out when Obi-Wan threw a leg over his hips.

Obi-Wan braced a hand on Cody’s chest and reached his other hand down, curling his fingers around Cody’s cock, and asking, meeting his eyes, “You want this?”

For a moment, Cody only stared up at him, mouth open but speechless. And then he nodded, his hands curled into the blankets, clenching so hard his knuckles stood up against his skin. Obi-Wan waited, a beat, until he ground out, “I want you, Obi-Wan, please.”

Obi-Wan nodded, shifted, and sank back. 

And there was a flash, unavoidable, of the memory of metal under his cheek, hands gripping at him, hard and cruel, a dry shove in and pain and--

And Obi-Wan exhaled, grounding himself in the present, in Cody’s warm skin under his palm, the dazed expression on Cody’s face, the warmth of their room, their bed, their love. He grounded himself in all the memories they’d built, the other times they’d touched, the steady, blinding affection he felt from Cody, every day. The knowledge, sure as the Force itself, that Cody wouldn’t hurt him.

“Oh,” Cody gasped, hands rising jerkily off of the sheets, fingers flexing at nothing, before finally settling, feather soft, on Obi-Wan’s hips as he sank down and down and down, until there was nothing between them. “Oh, oh, Force.”

Obi-Wan felt his mouth quirk up, Cody’s stunned pleasure vibrating around them, adding to his own, still thrumming inside his veins. 

“You feel good,” Obi-Wan told him, rising slowly and sinking back, seeing no reason to rush and, anyway, he felt thoroughly wrung out, already. Cody made a thick sound, meeting his eyes again, holding his gaze as Obi-Wan added, “So good inside me, Cody.”

The sound Cody made was inarticulate. Obi-Wan could feel the tension in his hands, in his fingers, but he did not squeeze or grip, just kept his touch resting against Obi-Wan’s skin, kept staring, expression hungry, the muscle under Obi-Wan’s hand tensing a bit more with each slow movement Obi-Wan made, until Cody’s hips shifted, finally, up to meet him.

Cody froze, all over, at the little sound Obi-Wan made, eyes getting wider, mouth opening, and Obi-Wan blurted, before there could be a misunderstanding, “That’s--that’s good. Feels good, you could--do that again.”

“Yeah?” Cody asked, expression so intent, and Obi-Wan managed to nod, groaning again when Cody repeated the thrust upwards. He picked up the rhythm quickly, must have gotten his feet flat on the bed to get the leverage for it, making shocked, pleasure-dazed sounds that grew rapidly more ragged.

And it was not much of a surprise when Cody rocked up into him one last time and came with a sound that was almost startled. Obi-Wan shivered at the feeling - it had been… a long time since he’d experienced it - and expected Cody to collapse fully against the mattress.

Instead, Cody made a shivery sound and sat up, all at once, arm curling around Obi-Wan’s back, keeping him close as Cody pressed a kiss to his cheek and then his mouth, breath unsteady and hitching. “Did that--are you--”

“It was so good,” Obi-Wan told him, curling a hand around the back of his neck, skin hot, the tips of his hair damp with sweat. “So good, darling.”

“I didn’t hurt you?” Cody asked, against his mouth, and the change in position had slid him free, already. Obi-Wan was aware of the mess he was making all over Cody’s thighs, but Cody seemed not to mind, and--

“Not at all,” Obi-Wan reassured, and Cody made a choking sound, dropping his head to Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and - and Obi-Wan crooned to him, nonsense words, when his shoulders started to shake, as he made wet, gasping sounds. “I knew you wouldn’t,” Obi-Wan said, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “You never would.”

[losing-victor]

I'm so lazy to actually write this but imagine like this Solangelo AU where Cecil drags Will to this bar to pick up "sugar daddies" or basically rich people because they're desperate??

They're not gonna do anything explicit just plain stupid. Will is like, an undergrad med student and has pretty high grades, he just doesn't have much money for food and shit so yeah, they get desperate.

But then Will gets guilty, because "man I can't use people for money" and then he runs out, leaving Cecil because he lost him somewhere in the crowd or something wtvr.

And then enter Nico Di Angelo.

Nico knows the kind of persons that enter a bar and look like they barely had any nutrition in their body except instant noodles (which was rich coming from him, but that's because he actually chooses to eat unhealthily) — so basically, college students.

He's not one to judge really, if he did, he wouldn't have met Reyna. Reyna was one of those kind and her reason? Got kicked out simply because she liked a girl. Nico knew upon background check that her family was wealthy, so he approached her and struck a deal.

They found friendship and Reyna found her freedom and stability. To this day, even without his help, she and him are great friends.

But he finds no use to go back to this place again, until of course—

"Somehow," Reyna had once said, "You have a knack for running into good people,"

"So are you saying I should go back to the bar," He deadpans.

"Well, I didn't say a specific location," Reyna says amused.

"You're the only person I actually met and got to know, the others forced their way into my life." Nico rolls his eyes when he hears a shout from the distance.

And so, inevitably, that conversation led to him here. He hung back, not actively looking. Nico's starting to think it's a bad idea. But just when he's starting to head out, a blond guy barrels straight into him.

He scowls in reflex, the guy looks at him with horror and his features make him look as if he just kicked a puppy. His scowl deepens as he grunts,

"I'm fine," He waves a hand,

"Oh my gods, I'm so sorry," Blue eyes flickered down to his side, as if assessing his state. "Are you okay?"

(It was either that or he was checking Nico's worth, and trust him, he didn't make an active effort either to look rich.)

Nico straightens his stance and quirks an eyebrow, "Are you okay?" For good measure, he look behind the boy to see if there was a creepy guy chasing after him (Nico has seen it too many times to happen, and frankly, it was disgusting.)

The blond chuckled, laughing nervously as he scratches the back of his nape, "I'm fine, just looking for an easier way out."

"You found someone already?" Nico is intrigued, it's not everyday that a college student already finds someone willing finance him this early into the evening.

Usually it takes more alcohol to pursuade the other men.

But then again, the blond was...okay-looking. And okay, his fashion sense might as well be worse as Nico's with a flannel thrown over a shirt and khaki shorts worn to a bar but his features could pass for a god. (And the eyes—)For some reason, that thought made him flush.

"Er, not exactly," Blue, they're not ocean blue nor sky blue like Jason's or Thalia's but they're blue like–like gems, Topaz to be exact. "I went in here confident," The blond cringed at that and continued, "And came out guilty." Sighing, "As desperate as I am, money–it's money." He gestures vaguely with his hands.

"I'm not sure I follow." Nico thinks that if someone has more than they need, it wouldn't hurt to give help.

Sighing again, the other boy smiles, "I suppose you wouldn't, you're still here I mean." Blond cocks his head, "So, you found anyone yet?"

Nico is stunned.

Blond thinks he's a college student. Reyna would laugh at him if she heard this story. Well okay, he is a college student but isn't here for the same reasons as this guy.

He's not broke.

"Sorry," The other apologizes for some reason Nico can't figure out. "You're not obligated to answer. Anyway, uh, I'm gonna run?"

"And eat at a convenience store?" Nico can't help but quip.

Blond laughs, "Yeah, probably."

"You're passing up an opportunity to go out and eat in a 5-star restaurant you know."

Nico watches the guy faux think, crossing his arms dramatically as he nods, "Yeah I think I could handle that, could you?"

There was a pause.

The other's blue eyes widened as if he was on a brink of panic reassurance.

"That's not what I meant–you must have your reasons for coming here and I'm not gonna take the opportunity away—

Nico lets out a long insufferable sigh which shuts up the blond. He gives him a look. He turns and calls out,

"Come on, sunshine."

For some reason, he feels as if the blond was grinning behind him, positively beaming as they went to eat MSG at a dingy 7-11.

"I'm Will, by the way."

"Nico," He doesn't notice his own smile.

(His blond hair wasn't that of the color of hay or sand. Not like Jason or that asshole Octavian, another boy born into a rich legacy. This guy's hair was bright, but not enough to rival his smile. His hair looked a little platinum, but still blonde if you looked hard enough. It was like the sun.)

So yeah Will looking for a sugar daddy, finds a Nico instead who he thinks is a broke college student as well and they eat at 711, his treat (his wallet cries) just because he feels the need to take care of the other and because he's inherently good like that. Nico is so fucking amused that he tries to drop subtle hints for Will to pick up on as they progress into friendship but the boy never gets it. Someday, he does reveal it and then like Will finds out about Reyna (cue angst and misunderstandings). A tired Nico tries to subtly drop hints also that he likes Will but Will never gets it. Nico doesn't have the courage to say it, not yet and then HE finds out the actual reason for the need for money (Will is one year away from graduating, works himself to the bones and Nico just—never knew, and the blond thinks of dropping out.) Nico was like NOPE, and this is fucking slowburn. I will never write this but you will pry this plot from my cold and dead hands.

Edit: If I do write this would it be worth it KAJSHDHABHDJAAJJAM?!?@,@?@MAJDJAKAKSKSKSKSKSKSKAKAKSKA

Edit #2: IM WRITING IT AND ILL TAG EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO BE TAGGED WHEN I DO POST IT!! JUST LMK

[n-ugg]

When Sam accepted this job, he thought it'll be fine. It'll finally be a challenge with his building and engineering. The pay will be so helpful too with wanting to make sure that one of his sons will have enough armor and weapons for a while without needing to go out and search for the supplies.

It would've been a good trade off.

So why is this back firing on him so badly?

-

When the prison was completed, Sam reported to Dream and asked for a higher pay. Dream immediately complies, gives him an extra three stacks of diamond block. Sam didn't question it.

Why would he? This will help him out so much and he wont need to worry about getting supplies for weeks. Months even!

Dream speaks up after the transaction, about how Sam knows who it is and it should be easy to get him in. Sam didn't pay much attention to what he said. He was too blinded by the pay to even ask who is going to be in.

The night was spent with Sam breaking apart the blocks to form into multiple full suits of armor and multiple swords. He even went the extra mile to head over to Punz to place in extra enchantments to make sure his son won't hurt himself as much.

He did all of this to make sure that his son won't get hurt. So why is he currently being ordered to put his son in the cell?

Sam was frozen in the prison. Seeing his son. Seeing Quackity calling out to him. Begging him for an answer on why did he make this prison for him. Why was he working against him this entire time.

Sam's voice was lost. He can't speak. He cant move. He's stuck between both of Dream and Quackity's yelling match, yet Sam can't hear either of them.

He felt his body move on his own the moment he noticed a shine from the corner of his eye coming from Dream.

Sam was standing in front of Quackity with his shield raised up with an axe at his side to push back Quackity. The sound hits him all at once as he hears the netherite axe hit the wooden surface.

"Sam!" He looks past the shield to make eye contact with Dream. His face was hidden, but you can tell behind the smile the rage continues to rise. "You agreed to a job and you need to complete it." His voice was back to his normal tone but you can tell theres a venom being held back.

Quackity raised his voice behind Sam. Please don't continue, Sam doesn't want to go forth with this. "I didn't do shit Dream! You're being a tyrant that you claim to never be! I don't deserve to be locked up by my own damn-" he cut himself off. Please stop, Sam still cares and views him as a son. "locked up by Sam." His tone noticeably gotten lower when he conpleted the sentence.

Sam felt the guilt in his stomach grow as the grip on the shield and axe gotten tighter. He just wanted to help. This was never supposed to happen.

"Quackity! You're a threat!" Dream's voice rose again. Why can't this yelling match just end? "You bombed Eret, who is neutral! And planned an army against Technoblade! What else are you planning to do?! You're a ticking time bomb! I need to put you away to protect the others!"

"Oh yeah?" You can hear a smile from Quackity's end. Why is he smiling in a time like this? "I only went against Eret because he fucking killed Karl! You're upset because I was able to see the king as a puppet! And Techno literally tried to kill us all by spawning withers! Why is he still running around?"

"Because he hasnt done anything to make himself known or done any harm yet! I can't just thr-"

"Shut up! Both of you." Sam finally spoke up. He just wanted it to end, so he'll need to listen. Sam did a final side glare at Dream before turning to back. "Quackity." Sam takes a pause to let out a deep breath he's been holding. "Please walk in the prison."

"I already told you Sam, Im not going in." Quackity stated with the smile off of his face as he refuses to look at Sam in the eyes and keep his contact with Dream, definitely noticing the grip on the axe tighten.

Sam can feel the murder behind Dream's eyes and what might happen if Quackity continues to protest. "Please, I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to do this" Sam was pratically begging but he still kept his composer.

Quackity's smirk returned. "Yeah, like getting tossed in a inescapable cell by my own 'dad'-" those air quotes managed to do so much internal damage towards Sam. "-isn't hurtful enough. Heh, I thought I was able to trust you, man." The smirk faded away as Quackity started to focus on Sam. "Never would I ever thought that you'll backstab me like this by working with my biggest enemy. To fucking lock me away like that."

Sam took in another deep breath before letting it out. "I'm so sorry." Before Quackity was able to make a comment, Sam grabbed him and dragged him into the prison. It was easy due to the massive height difference. Quackity was trying to break away and make a run for it, but made absolute no progress.

Sam threw Quackity in and locked the doors. Quackity ran to the door and started to bang on it while screaming to be let out. Sam kept his own walls up to not break at the sight of seeing his son. The person he built the prison, to just get a generous pay for he can make the armor and weapons for, curse at him to let him out as he bangs on the walls while being on his knees.

Dream walked behind Sam and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Good work, make sure he doesn't get out and you dont help. You know exactly what will happen." Sam simply nodded as he feels Dream's hand lift from his shoulder and hears him walk out of the prison.

Quackity was already away from the walls as he observed his new home. Sam wanted to look away, but he can't. He is completely unable to look away from the mess he's made. Sam tried to speak up, but felt his throat dry up the moment his mouth opened.

Quackity started to let out a laugh as his hand trailed along the wall. "You really made this inescapable, huh?" Sam didn't respond, just nodded as he took a couple of steps forward. Quackity let out another laugh as he walked towards to where Sam was at.

Sam was confused and cleared his throat before speaking. "Why are you laughing?" His voice was raspy. His throat still felt tight and dry.

"Because I trusted you! And then you backstabbed me by helping my biggest enemy!" Another cackle filled the cell. Sam cringed at the sound, not liking how his son has already broken down in the cell. "You need to help me with something. As a way-"

"Im not breaking you out." Sam's voice was stern as he tries to push down the thought of Quackity getting killed by Dream to the back of his head. "You'll get hurt. Badly."

Quackity shoke his head, "Not that." He stuffed his hands in his pocket and his posture straighted out.

"With what then?"

Quackity raised his hand over his beanie and pushed it back to reveal small horns, already having a small curve forming. "Remember the Frankenstein's monster arc?" Sam was taken a back seeing the horns, he also notices how Quackity basically had sharper nails then before and his eyes containing a really faint yellowish glow in the dark cell. "Want to finish it for me?"

So many thoughts rush into Sam's head. This could mean that all of the crimes that Quackity has been accused of can be forgiven since it isn't him. It was just Schlatt the entire time.

If he brings him back, he'll let go of Quackity.

He can have his son back.

He doesn't need to keep him locked up.

Sam quickly nods his head as a smile forms. "Anything for you."

[qqueenofhades]

i love how easily enabled you are because it ups my happiness level like +100 everytime. Like now there’s 2 more fivan aus to think about?? and like ok the russian revolution one is angst and pain, but now i also get to imagine rich!Fedyor trying to force his new rival-turned-bf to “just fucking smile and take a selfie” for the gram which is the modern day equivalent of the cookie scene and i love that for me.

also the speed you can churn out such quality words and small ficlets is amazing. you a flawless queen, have a lovely weekend!

"Vanya. Come here."

"No."

"Vanya, come here."

"NO."

"Oh my god." Fedyor rolls his eyes at the ceiling. "It is just a selfie. Not the end of the world. Now come here and cuddle up with me and let me post this so my followers can gush about how adorable we are."

"Are you sure about that?" Ivan glares at him from where he is sitting determinedly on the far side of the bed and reading a deeply boring book about Soviet economics. "They could hate it."

"Ray of sunshine, my love, that's you. As always." Fedyor wriggles closer. They may have just recently progressed from rivals-who-hate-makeout-in-closets to kinda-dating-but-shh to definitely-dating-but-shh, but Ivan has been a monumental crabby-pants the entire way, because apparently anything else would cause him to drop dead or something. "Trust me. We're cute, we are gay, and we are mildly famous. Plus, we are Russian. The internet will go crazy."

Ivan stares at him with a face of doom. He glances around shiftily, as if Fedyor's bedroom at his family's ultra-plush mansion in Holland Park might contain secret spy cameras or other instruments of scurrilous blackmail. Then he sighs deeply, with a face like a man walking up the gallows to be executed, putting his book aside and scooting up grimly next to Fedyor. Yes, Fedyor thinks wryly. That is him. My new boyfriend. Light of my life. Great fun at parties.

Fedyor grabs his phone, turns on a filter, snuggles up to Ivan, and snaps the perfect couple-y selfie. "There," he says, showing it to him. "I look adorable and you look like they gave away your favorite table at Chiltern Firehouse. It's so us."

"I don't understand why you're so obsessed with Instagram," Ivan gripes. "Or rather, your own face."

"Oh?" Fedyor raises an eyebrow at him. "I seem to recall you're a little obsessed with my face, Vanya. And my Instagram."

"I only look at it to laugh at you."

"Sure you do." Fedyor taps to post the picture of the two of them, tags Ivan's grossly depressing account, captions it #pridemonth, and sits back in smug anticipation. "That's why you went through all my selfies and liked every single one of them, wasn't it?"

Ivan opens his mouth, entirely fails to come up with a satisfactory retort, and shuts it, looking furious. While his phone starts to ping with "omgs!!" and "IM DYING" and whatever else (there will of course be the requisite stupid comments, but he's pretty good at filtering those out), Fedyor crooks a finger. "Come here and kiss me for all that epic nonsense you just put me through. You owe me."

Ivan grumbles.

"Now."

Ivan wilts. Clambers closer. Scoops Fedyor into his lap, mumbles something under his breath that it's definitely for the best he can't hear, and cuddles him. Kisses the back of his neck, as Fedyor hums in deeply self-satisfied victory, leans against him, and pulls Ivan's arm around his waist. The idiot still drives him crazy on a regular basis, but you know. He absolutely does prefer it this way.

[fuwahiko]

NOT ME TAKING LITERAL DAYS TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH BACKSTORY I WANTED TO GIVE THIS AND ACCIDENTALLY CLOSING THE APP AND LOSING WHAT I HAD WHEN I WAS FINALLY GETTING SOMEWHERE I-

Im a disaster but i finally got my head on straight alright HERE'S SOME OUMOTA FOR YA

SO. The V3 kids have gone on the town to hang out. Why? They were sick of always going to Amami's house. They needed a change of scenery. What are they doing? Karaoke? Bowling? Who knows. But they're all making fun of each other.

Their collective love language towards each other is bullying.

At some point, a lot of people get hungry. Miu, for some ungodly reason, yells at Kokichi to go and order for them. And bring the food down when it's done. For some even ungodlier reason, Kokichi agrees. Without an argument. Not even an insult.

He does kiss Kaito while flipping everyone off before walking off, but now everyone's scared of what the gremlin's planning. Only Kaito's safe if Kokichi's got something planned. Boyfriend priveleges work...sometimes.

With Kokichi, he's waiting for everyone's food when someone shouts his name...or something close to it. Intrigued, he turns around and immediately tenses up. But only slightly.

It his ex-boyfriend. Kokichi never wanted to see this ex (who i call Fuckface McAsshole) again. It wasn't healthy, and when he tried to break it off, said ex lost it and dragged shit out for a week and a half. Kokichi was about to turn and rush towards Kaito and the others, because safety in numbers (plus Kaito could throw a mean punch), but the ex got there first. He had also accidentally left his phone on the table with the others.

There was no calling for help. Kokichi was stuck.

So he was forced to play the long game. He didn't wanna make a scene in such a public place. He let his ex talk and talk and talk while retaining none of what he was saying. When the ex noticed Kokichi wasn't listening, he commented. ("...why aren't you listening to me, Ko? Got somewhere better to be? With people that actually want you around? Fucking doubt it.")

When he hears that, Kokichi snaps. Not completely, but enough to get snappy

"Actually, my friends and boyfriend are waiting on their food. I'm here to get their food. And I can't hear the person calling out numbers because of your blabbering. So be quiet."

Kokichi knew he shouldn't have snapped. He knew as soon as his ex's eyes widened, then narrowed. He'd never admit it, but that look made him slightly nervous.

From there, everything escalates very quickly. Quicker than Kokichi anticipated. It's about to get real ugly in two seconds. And everyone's going to hear and stare at whatever's going to go down.

......soooooo now i hand it off to you. What exactly happens between Kokichi and his ex? How do the V3 kids find out about all this, and how do they react? How does Kokichi react after that fiasco? And what do they all (extra emphasis on Kaito bc Oumota) do to try and comfort and/or cheer up Kokichi after THAT?

(Did i listen to "Happier than Ever" by Billie Eilish when i thought of this...maybe i did and maybe i didn't. You can't prove anything.)

this is a really interesting scenario! kokichi feeling so backed up into a corner like that is certainly unusual, for one thing.

ok ok so I like the idea of like, kokichi trying to work on himself a lot. dude needs therapy. and in this au I can see it being the case that kokichi has been working through stuff a lot and has managed to become so close with everyone because of that - like I'm sure in a non despair au he wouldn't be quite so... ~the way that he is~ anyway, but he'd likely still have a lot of issues and struggle to get along with everyone at first, but then with some encouragement from someone he trusts and gets along with more (kaito? maybe someone else? maybe it's more of a slowburn with him getting closer to kaito?) he'd eventually start going to therapy and start slowly working on himself, as well as starting over with some people he maybe started off on the wrong foot with before. it might take some time, but eventually even the people that really didn't get along with him start to open up a little and try to understand him more, and he does the same for them. everyone sees how hard kokichi is trying, and he's really changing for the better, and that inspires them to work on themselves too and it brings everyone a lot closer.

so. when kokichi's ex shows up, it stirs all of this awfulness inside of him, all of this bitterness. it ends up starting to pull at the worst things within kokichi, trying to bring it all to the surface, and kokichi is trying his hardest to stop himself from saying something horrible, from making a scene, from making every stranger in the area turn to look at him with that look that makes him want to disappear. he's trying so hard not to fall back into old habits and old behaviours; he's been working so hard and finally things are looking up for once.

but then he slips up.

he knew he shouldn't have said anything, but his ex wasn't going to leave him alone anyway, and suppressing his own emotions was getting too difficult, so he had to do something. but now his ex was glaring at him even more than before, and kokichi could feel the rage radiating from him, and he immediately regretted ever opening his mouth. but he'd already come this far, and his ex had backed him so far into the corner that all kokichi could do was bite back just as hard.

kokichi's ex raised his voice, and it was like the floodgates had been opened. everything he was saying was blurring together into an endless string of sharp needles that pierced into kokichi, targeting all of his weak points, hurting him over and over, each needle piercing deeper than the last. kokichi snapped back, his own voice just as loud, throwing insult after insult and trying to dig up all that he could think of to hurt him back, trying to find just the right words to hurt his ex even deeper than he had hurt him, all the while a smirk spread across his face as kokichi pretended like he was enjoying himself, enjoying this conflict, but with every word he fired back he only felt more hatred towards himself. it was a form of self destruction, and now that he'd started hurting himself, kokichi didn't know how to stop.

just when kokichi felt like his own self hatred was going to swallow him whole, he half-registered footsteps growing louder just out of view. then, before he knew it, suddenly his ex was being lifted off the ground in front of him.

kokichi's eyes widened as he finally processed what he was looking at. it was kaito. kaito was here and he had grabbed the ex by his shirt and lifted him up, a furious expression spread across kaito's face.

"the fuck are you doing to kokichi?!" kaito practically roared as he held his free hand in a fist.

after maybe a brief moment of relief, kokichi felt fear and panic grab hold of him, and when he met eyes with kaito he seemed to immediately understand exactly what he was feeling.

kaito let go, letting kokichi's ex drop and stumble as he found his footing. "sorry. I wasn't gonna do anything, I didn't mean to scare you." kaito looked ashamed now, and he turned away from kokichi for a moment. kaito had been working on himself a lot too, specifically dealing with anger issues and his tendency to resort to violence when things got hard to deal with, and he'd been making a lot of progress. kaito knew he would've decked this guy if kokichi hadn't looked so upset, and he felt horrible about it. he felt awful that he was just reverting back to his usual ways, and he felt even more awful because he'd made kokichi feel worse, even if only for a second. he felt like such a disappointment. kokichi felt horrible too, and he felt like it was his own fault that kaito had gotten so worked up, that if he'd just dealt with his ex in another way then kaito never would've gotten dragged into this. kokichi had brought the worst out of himself, and now he felt he was doing the same to kaito, pulling him down with him.

just then, security showed up and asked them to leave. kokichi and kaito both had the thought of telling them that the ex was the problem and that they'd just been going about their day until he started shit, but neither of them said anything, just left without making any more fuss. they gave them their money back for the food at least, but now the whole thing had just been a waste.

when they grouped up with the others outside again, kaito holding kokichi's hand as they walked, everyone was chatting and laughing together as they had been doing all day, but they all quickly realised something was up as they saw how shaken kokichi looked and how kaito's face was scrunched up with frustration. of course they'd also seen that the two of them were empty handed, but that wasn't their main concern.

"guys? what's wrong?" kaede rushed over to see them, a look of worry spread across her face. kaito squeezed kokichi's hand a little tighter as he told them all what he'd walked in on. he decided to do the talking himself, knowing kokichi was struggling at the moment and not wanting him to have to explain everything on top of that. he didn't really know what had been happening exactly, but he'd gathered that this guy had been kokichi's ex, and he knew he'd started something with kokichi because he knew that kokichi would never start anything like that himself now.

maki suggested they all move to somewhere quieter, so they headed down a nearby street that lead to an open area with a park that was surrounded by a long wall that was low enough to sit on. kaito sat with kokichi on the wall, pulling him in close at his side and wrapping his arm around him firmly, reassuringly. kaede sat on kokichi's other side, speaking gently and offering to let him borrow her earphones to listen to some music to help him calm down. he refused, but he appreciated the thought. himiko sat on the grass at his feet in silence, but he knew her well enough now to know she was trying her best to support him, even if she didn't know what to say or do. shuichi and maki sat down beside kaito, who was calmer now, but concerned for kokichi and still upset with himself.

"it's all my fault..." kokichi mumbled sadly, his head resting against kaito and his hand clinging onto his shirt. "it's not your fault. he started it, didn't he?" kaito questioned, already knowing the answer. "not that. I mean... I got you involved." kaito ran the hand that was holding kokichi up and down gently along his arm to comfort him, his free hand reaching to stroke his hair. "don't worry about that, that's not your fault at all. I shouldn't have lost my cool. ...sorry again about startling you." kokichi shook his head. kaito felt kokichi's body start shaking, and he realised he was crying. "I'm the worst... I'm the worst, I'm the worst, I'm the worst." kokichi cried as he buried his face further and tried to hide away. "nothing's changed, I'm just as shitty and horrible and worthless as I always have been... I should've just... done things different... but I did the same as I always do..."

of course. kaito finally realised the real reason why he was so upset. sure he was upset over his ex showing up and the nasty things he'd been saying, but now that they were away from him he was more upset with himself than anything, because he'd worked so hard and he felt like none of that work had actually gotten him anywhere. he felt like change wasn't possible, because if he'd reacted that way then to him that surely meant that he was exactly the same as he'd always been, despite how much he'd tried.

"hey. that's not true and you know it." kaito was about to continue, but miu interrupted. "yep, that's bullshit. ha! if you think you're terrible, that guy sounds ten times worse! what a loser." gonta also spoke up, obviously very upset that anyone would raise their voice at his friend. "hmm... that not how gentleman should act. should be polite, even if ex doesn't like you."

"kokichi, we can all see how far you've come and how hard you've been working, so please don't beat yourself up over this one time. that guy is the one at fault, he put you in a difficult position, a really difficult position, and you wouldn't have reacted that way otherwise." kaede reassured him. "she's right, you wouldn't do that unless you felt you had no other choice." shuichi agreed as he handed kokichi some tissues. kokichi had calmed down somewhat, but he needed to get his emotions out still, so everyone waited patiently, offering words of support every so often, kaito still holding him and placing a few kisses on the top of his head, until kokichi stopped crying and pulled away, sitting up and drying his eyes.

angie jumped up off of the grass. "we should do something fun!" rantaro looked up at her from where he was sitting. "you mean like a distraction?" "nyahahaha! yes! doing something fun will help kokichi take his mind off things and feel better!" "do you have something in mind?" kiibo asked. angie thought about it for a moment. "hmm... nope!" rantaro sighed. "we shall just have to think of something, and we should also find somewhere else to eat as well." kirumi said as she stood up, dusting off the front and back of her dress.

ideas began getting thrown around and the atmosphere lightened up quickly - everyone chatting and suggesting fun things to do together, kokichi just quietly listening, but feeling a lot more comfortable again and appreciating his friends' efforts to cheer him up. it wasn't too long before kokichi was joining in, though, and everyone was relieved to see him slowly returning to his usual self; a bit immature, sometimes annoying, but funny, sweet, so full of life. kokichi was someone they'd all grown to love, no matter how things might have started out for some of them with him, and he wasn't at all who he thought he was when he was feeling down on himself. they hoped that one day kokichi would finally understand that.

[sakuatsu]

YELL 2 ME ABT SAKUATSU FIC RECS PLS

oh boy. oh boy do i have much to talk about

here’s a list of my sakuatsu must-reads under the cut! complete with links, word count, ratings, and occasional commentary because i’m incapable of shutting up. this isn’t in any particular order either 

(keeping this sfw and organized into canonverse/AUs. a * means i am on my hands and knees begging for you to read this)  

i’ll try to update this somewhat regularly :]

most recently updated august 25, 2020!

canonverse:

*your highs and lows (series) by astroeulogy 

a post-time skip canonverse series born from these two questions:

1. what if sakusa kiyoomi, known too-blunt jerk, is equally straightforward about his soft, tender feelings?

2. what if miya atsumu, resident big fat jerk who doesn't care if his teammates hate him, is too emotionally stunted to notice when his one of his teammates actually likes him?

this is like the sakuatsu series but it’s blasphemous to not recommend. the first fic in the series is all that you were (4.6k, T). mind the ratings on a few of the fics, but my personal favorite is #3: a masterpiece of domesticity called you have tamed me (5.7k, T). these make me ACHE 

*sakuatsu domesticity simulator by pseudoanalytics (T)

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

this fic...this fic...op is literally one of my favorite artists of all time but Did You Know that their writing is also off the charts. what a wonderful use of second person and the pacing is so good. too much skill in one person 

*The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (11.4k, M)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

i think this is the fic that got me into sakuatsu in the first place lol i was looking very specifically for msby socmed fics and now here we are. this fic is unbelievably funny

*liminal spaces by hhatsuna (25.9k, T)

Fuck you, Atsumu thinks, pointing at the pixelated Sakusa in the grainy team photo on his bedside table.

It’s easier than you’d think to ignore loving your teammate.

*Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (15.7k, M)

Where “You already make me the happiest guy alive, babe," gives way to, “I’ve not been happy for a while now.”

Alternatively known as the ‘mug fic’.

yes this is a breakup fic. yes im going to recommend it anyway. breakup fics usually scare me a lot but this one is too good for me to not say anything about. nuanced and delicious. i look at the mug on my desk and feel pain

dog eat dog eat dog world by perennials (8.4k, T)

You are your first and only line of defense against the universe.

Koi no Yokan; 恋の予感 by ymra (15.3k, unrated)

Wherein Sakusa dreams of his future selves and discovers a little something along the way.

autumn ends, but we remain by wolfsbvne (5.3k, T)

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

your fingertips, branding irons by Ceryna (5.8k, T)

Between the accidental touches he's reconciled, the deliberate ones he's endured, and, from those he's built years of trust with, obliged– Kiyoomi has never wanted to let someone indulge.

Never, until Atsumu.

take what’s yours and make it mine by claudusdiei (5.9k, T)

atsumu falls in love four times in his life

(or: in which atsumu gets his heart broken twice, has the self-awareness of a sober mule and really likes yellow tulips)

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (10.4k, T)

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

*where i want to be by tookumade (8.8k, G)

In the time they’ve been teammates at the MSBY Black Jackals, Sakusa has never been to Atsumu’s place, and Atsumu has only been to Sakusa’s a few times. There’s an unspoken understanding here: that Atsumu knows him well enough to know that nobody’s house or apartment would ever really meet his ridiculously high standards, and he is most comfortable in the home he’s made for himself.

That, and, Atsumu being over at Sakusa’s means that he has to host him and do the cleaning afterwards, while Atsumu can just flit off back to his own place. So. There’s that.

Tonight. Tonight is not business as usual. Tonight is not familiar.

*san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm by yamabato (8.1k, T)

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out.

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (10.8k, T)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

four leaf clover by vicari_us (5.9k, T)

Once, Ushijima claimed that they ‘got lucky’. If properly honed, their body types could become near invincible weapons.

However, unlike Ushijima, Kiyoomi’s weapon required a bit more care over the years to reach the condition it had become. He was born iron, not yet forged into steel.

Exploring what it might have taken to turn a genetic mistake into an athletic miracle.

*the 28 postcards you left me by wheelspokes (8.3k, T)

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

such a unique premise & this is so beautifully structured. stunning flow and who knew animal crossing could convey so much longing...

AUs:

Pas De Deux by hhatsuna (dancer!sakusa au: 19.0k, T)

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes, and the twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?” Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

*my love, take your time by bastigod (archaeologist!sakusa au: 9.0k, T)

There was something sublime about wandering around an empty museum. Nothing could compare to the sound of his shoes clacking against the marble floor, the morning sunlight gently streaming through the lofty windows and the peaceful solitude of ancient stone kings overseeing their silent kingdoms.

A day in the life of Doctor Kiyoomi Sakusa, Archaeologist.

i’ve literally been thinking about this fic every day since it came out. you will not find a story like this anywhere else, i guarantee you. what a clear labor of love this fic is it’s truly something so special 

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (surgeon!sakusa & microbiologist!atsumu au: 19.7k, T)

“I just got this job, I’m not givin’ it up for some moral boost ‘cause I actually need to pay my rent, ya insensitive -” Atsumu waves his hands around, trying and failing to come up with the right word to convey the amount of injustice that this gaunt motherfucker has brought into his relatively simple life thus far.

“If you can’t pay your rent, go get a job at the McDonald’s over by 8th Street,” Sakusa growls, “it’ll pay more than your researcher position.”

If you even attempt assault on a coworker, forget teaching about cells - you’ll fucking be in one, Atsumu.

*Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (ogre spirit!sakusa au: 6.7k, T)

For the last twenty years, Atsumu’s done all that he can to break his betrothal to the ogre spirit Sakusa. If he can just make it through one more night, he’ll be free.

honestly, just read everything by astroeulogy. i’m recommending this fic in particular because it has such an ethereal voice to it. magical

across oceans, across centuries by starstrikes (pacific rim au: 20.0k, T)

Six days ago, Osamu died and left Atsumu with this: Atsumu, you have to—

(Namikira rises with the tides and rips Osamu and Vulpis Empress away in one fell swoop. Six days later, Atsumu wakes up alone in a hospital bed and learns how to swim.)

you don’t actually need to know pacrim to appreciate this. a wonderful exploration of grief and recovery. also it’s exactly 20k words which is both satisfying and terrifying 

*Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (ice skating/dancing au: 20.8k, T)

"Your partner doesn't need to hold anyone's hand other than yours," Sakusa's father crouches, "And you can wear gloves."

Sakusa ponders. He hears the other skaters of rink two whiz past as they launch themselves into lifts.

"Alright," He looks up from the ice, not knowing how he'll dedicate the next couple of decades to this sport, this partnership, this boy.

what a stunning fic. a beautiful progression of sakusa & atsumu’s relationship, rife with references to real skating programs, beautifully written and structured. so full of longing i’m in mild physical pain

[macgyvertape]

Castlevania kinda had a pacing problem

spoilers for all of Netflix’s Castlevania. I haven’t seen much analysis for the show on tumblr, im honestly curious if discussions I had with irl friends mirror what fandom talks about

tldr: Castlevania seems inconsistently paced from season to season, and within season as well, leads to a lot of characters motivations feeling unclear so characters repeatedly explain why they are doing something while they’re doing it

overview of the seasons:

S1 I know somewhat of a test for Netflix but it has good main trio character establishment and sets the scale of the conflict

s2: pretty complete emotional arc for most characters and resolves the plot of killing Dracula while setting up additional characters to continue the story. Isaac, Hector, Carmilla all established with the audience as characters whose story would continue

honestly I would bet this is the most popular season

S3: s2 did a bit of worldbuilding, but this season really fleshed out the world with both a wide range of locations and exploring the question of “what now, Dracula is dead but vampires and night creatures remain”.

There were basically 4 plot threads: 1) Sypha/Trevor investigating the cult & Saint Germain; 2) Hector & Carmilla (also introducing Lenore, Striga, Morana); 3) Isaac’s journey of revenge & self discovery; 4) Alucard sits around the castle and is betrayed.

overall characters roughly feel like they are in the same place if not worse. A big criticism I saw at the time, which hold up after rewatching this before s4 is nothing felt resolved for the main characters

I would say this season is where the pacing issues start to become apparent, juggling 4 plot threads that lack a central theme or even mutual character connection. If there was a central theme it would be “humans are awful to each other”. The Judge doing Hot Fuzz style murders, The Wizard in the tower, Sumi & Taka

S4: it starts with the same 4 plot threads, though upfront it is made clear that the plot theme is “people are trying to resurrect Dracula”, and the progression of the plot works to resolve unrelated plot threads until the main trio reunites for the boss fights. To me and my friends watching it was obvious that the show would reunite the main trio, the question was how and how far into the run time.

Season 4 is why I’m writing this essay, for the past 2 days I’ve been like, yeah that character sure explained their motives repeatedly maybe with some philosophical discussion, but it’s just such a weird place considering where they were in s3

Alucard’s arc:

Where he was left in season 3, it was after killing people he had trusted in self defense and impaling their corpses. It was clearly meant to parallel Dracula’s dislike of humanity. However overall his character lacked a proactive motivating force.

Honestly the most interesting thing I found in s3 was Alucard clearly misses Sypha and Trevor, however they don’t miss him or refer to him

One reason Sumi & Taka betray Alucard is for the secrets and power of Castlevania. After inviting the village including St Germain who Alucard was warned of into the Castle, Alucard makes 0 effort to secure anything, not even his personal childhood room. Guess he really learned nothing

Discussing St Germain, I think it’s funny that they had a several minute flashback sequence for his lost girlfriend (who doesn’t have a name or a voice actor), to remind the viewer of who he is, and to justify how he’s suddenly back and down for murder.

In s4 there is the call to help the village, and the walk back to the castle is a montage of Alucard opening up to Greta and becoming friendly literally overnight. He laughs off the impaling, and basically all of the darker things he went through in season 3, which has me asking what was the point of his season 3 arc then? 

Honestly writing this I realize the biggest parallel he has with Dracula is the call to action from a bold woman with a dramatic entrance speech which then leads to a romance

Isaac’s arc:

in s3, with all the other themes of “humanity sucks” I was always unsure if the townspeople were meant to appear irrational while attacking a larger force instead of letting him pass through an leave, or him not caring about how he’s provoking them is meant to show his insanity

ive seen the discussion elsewhere, curious about the Discourse here

is s4 Isaac has the whole monologue about how he now has agency but him gaining that agency was his s3 arc. In s4 he’s already at the point of accepting it. By the end of s4 he’s one of those who comes the furthest from his first character appearance to his last.

s4e5 where of Isaac attacking Carmilla in Isaac’s 2nd appearance had him resolving like 4 plot threads at once (Carmilla, Striga& Morana, Hector, and Isaac himself).

but i do wonder if Trevor, Sypha, or Alucard even know any of these people exist. I think not

I was honestly confused if I missed a scene from his dialogue about building something and what is inherent nature, to “My plan has evolved, my plan is now conquest” because he only conquests the one castle and the rest is left unclear

Upon rewatch the connection there is “killing [the wizard] felt just ... I liked that feeling”, so the show says that Isaac in the end attacked Carmilla for the sake of justice and not revenge.

Isaac in his last conversation expresses the theme of s4 “build something new on these old bones, where people can live for the future”

however, his arc honestly feel scenes were cut, and then dialogue was written around it. He’s the only living character who doesn’t show up in the epilogue and the sentient night creature “what if I could empty hell” dialogue was some of the most interesting worldbuilding. Night creatures with sentience and possibility of regaining memories!!!!

The Council of Sisters & Hector’s arc:

oh I’ve already seen s4 discourse about Lenore/Hector while searching for character analysis, a chunk of it seems to be rationalizing the absolute difference between how s3 ended with these characters and s4. It was extremely confusing for me and my friends; wondering if 1) was Hector showing more emotional intelligence than before and putting on a facade to cover up hatred? Nope 2) did more time pass than 6 weeks for there to be some kind stockholm syndrome? No, Hector seems fine to let Lenore kill herself

The slave control ring: played up in the climax of s3 and easily solved s4. s3 Lenore says if he tries to harm them, flee, or take it off it would cause crippling pain, in s4 Hector just easily cuts off his own finger.

for a control ring that they take time to show a version being on the Rebus, it doesn’t do much controlling of Hector

also guess the definition of “do harm” just refers to direct action

Lenore in s4: has no purpose in conquest, has that useless remarked on by multiple characters, is imprisoned, then kills herself after a genre aware philosophical discussion. This essay is long enough, but what the fuck happened to this character who ended s3 clearly physically and sexually abusive? Seriously this was one of the biggest writing changes to the point where she was treating Hector as an equal. Compare her last words in s3 “shh the real people [vampires] are talking”. The change in the relationship is actually something I would have taken being shown, or atleast told of what exactly caused this change other than the vague “you adopted him”

Striga&Morana get the best arc of the Council. 3 scenes: the tent argument, Daybreak armor fight & argument resolution, declaration of feelings and turning away. You could argue Castlevania is plot to be connective tissue between fight scenes, but for all the dialogue about human resistance in different seasons it was nice to see it. Overall the scenes were short but had a lot of showing what their relationship is not just telling,

unlike Carmilla. For as much hyping up as they did with her, and as much power as she had, she only appeared in 2 episodes and no other group except Isaac knew about her military conquest.

the map scene where she states her motive for conquest of wanting to take things from old men is the key example of how characterization became tell not show. How interesting was that monologue compared to the past seasons flashback to her murmuring the old vampire lord, or all her repeated insults of men/man-children that shows how she judges people??

That monologue had to carry the weight of justifying the Sisterhood bonds falling apart as well as why her motivation changed from building a human pen from Styria to Braila to world conquest. I think it did so poorly

Sypha & Trevor

really Sypha & Trevor have the main plot in the show. I checked and post season 1 the only episode they don’t appear in is s4e6, which is entirely devoted to the Isaac, Hector, and Council of Sisterhood arc. Their partnership and adventures are the main plot of the show.

Its easy to see what Trevor’s arc was over the show: coming to peace with the deaths of his family, taking up the mantle of being a Belmont, and starting a new family with Sypha.

With Sypha I actually had to scroll through tv tropes for what is her character arc, and I guess hers is disillusionment from adventure and life outside the speakers? My friends joke that Sypha’s magic is what the plot demands to look cool in a fight, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tangent: the ending of their arc was easy to guess: as soon as Trevor went to fight the final boss alone I literally said “oh i bet Sypha’s pregnant, Trevor’s doing a heroic sacrifice, theyll use the unexplained magical dagger mcguffin, and 60/40 odds that he goes through an infinite corridor to outright come back vs just the implication he might come back”

I guess my final thought of the show, was overall the SUPER Final Boss got my by surprise. It was a good twist I enjoyed. Not that Death appeared, I had guessed that from the heavy foreshadowing, but I was surprised by who it was, because I had thought I thought the characters involved feeling shoehorned into the plot was just more bad writing. The Alchemist who put St Germain on the path or murder for no discernible motive for helping? Sure gotta move the plot along. New Dracula court member Varney who has a whole introduction with almost every character he meets and banter about his smell? Sure thats basically how all characters talk with a snarky and acerbic voice.

[illfoandillfie]

Maybe a ben POV one? where bens off on a movie shoot and misses you and wants to fly you out to him but he’s worried it’s too much of a “romantic gesture” like in movies so he doesn’t want to weird you out but then on the phone you say how much you miss him too so he gathers the nerve to ask you and you’re like duh ofc I’ll come you dork (im envisioning this still kinda early in the qpr maybe right after platonically or smth)

Thank you so much babe!!

This is the second of the blurbs for my Platonically themed event! This one follows directly on from the one I posted yesterday so maybe read it first.

Words: 1,759

Warnings: just two idiots being dummies. Minor references to sex and probably some swearing but that's about it.

Reflecting on the situation, Ben had come to the conclusion that it was the perfect time to be in Greece. The run of beautiful weather they’d had over the course of the last month must have set some sort of record, he thought. Every day was blue skies, white fluffy clouds, and the sort of heat that was comfortable and not overly sticky. It made working a dream, especially when half the film seemed to take place on the beach. The sand was warm under his feet and the water clear and cool. They didn’t have much down time since the studio was pushing for it to be finished ASAP so they could release it at the optimal time, but the few days off they did get, Ben spent either fishing with some of the crew or else exploring the picturesque town they were in. There was just one downside. You weren’t with him.

Whenever the thought crossed his mind, whenever he really started to miss you, he’d remind himself that he loved his job, loved that it took him to exciting and beautiful places. And then he’d send you a quick message to check how everything was back home. He called too, mostly in the evenings after he got back to his hotel room. But the deeper into the project he got the more night shoots there were and the later he got back to his room. What brief conversations you had were good but not quite the same as if you’d been there with him. Of course, he’d try to remind himself that it wasn’t like he’d never been away from you before. But those times had all been before you got together, and the changed nature of the relationship made him feel your absence more. He never said that to you though. Mostly, when you could talk, Ben would ask how you were and talk about the exciting things he saw. He’d tell you about the beaches or the trinket shops and say how much you’d like them but he’d never tell you exactly how badly he wished you were with him. He didn’t want you to take it the wrong way and he didn’t trust himself to explain it properly. Whenever he tried to verbalise it (quietly, to his reflection or the dark hotel room he was staying in) he worried it came out too...well, romantic.

The truth was, he’d always been attached to you, since very early on in your relationship. You just got him. His sense of humour and his personality and the way he thought. It took him no time at all to start referring to you as one of his best friends and it was a title you’d held for years. But then he’d realised the way he liked you wasn’t strictly platonic, and it made him feel weird around you. More uncertain than he was used to. He found it hard to describe the relief he’d felt when you agreed to think about his QPR idea or how, when you’d accepted, it had alleviated the uncertainty and doubts that had been plaguing him. To you it would probably sound sappy and sentimental and tat all what you wanted to hear from him. Of course the QPR was really just an extension of your friendship. More or less the same, just a few new ways to show affection like kissing and getting you off (both things Ben greatly enjoyed), and a few new words that made it specific to the two of you. And maybe a new future too, depending on how things went. But again, while he might think those sorts of thoughts, he wouldn’t know how to begin saying any of them to you. Because he was starting to really want that future with you, and saying so might make it impossible to get there.

So Ben allowed himself to miss you quietly. Occasionally an idea of inviting you to join him would pop into his head. But he always let the thought go as quickly as it came. The weeks ticked by like that. Texting when you could between scenes and less and less frequent calls at night, which left Ben’s head swimming with lots of unsaid things. Progress was made on the movie too, most of the beach scenes wrapped and everyone moving to other parts of the script. Until everything came to a screeching halt. Ben wasn’t entirely sure what the problem was – something to do with scheduling conflicts or maybe special equipment that hadn’t arrived on time. All he was told was that things would be back up and running soon but it might take an extra few weeks to complete the project. He didn’t mind so much, it gave him a bit of extra free time after all, but it also meant he wouldn’t get to see you again for a while.

The possibility of flying you out to Greece to join him had been rattling around his brain since his third week on set. You could spend a couple of weeks, maybe a month, together. He could take you to that restaurant he’d sent you photos of and show you the handmade stationery shop he’d stumbled across that he knew you’d have fun exploring. And then there was the rest of the town, thin streets to get lost in together and beautiful views to look out over. Maybe you’d like to walk along the beach with him and collect seashells or rent a little dingy to take out on the waves. Once or twice he’d come close to actually asking you to join him but he always talked himself out of it, sure it would be crossing a line for you. Missing you was one thing but offering to buy you a plane ticket and whisk you off on a getaway to a gorgeous Greek island was surely too romantic. But the news of the delay made him consider it again.

That night he called you, smiling as soon as he heard your voice. At first the call was like any other. He listened to you talk about what had been going on since he last had a chance to call, getting caught up on your mutual friends and your work and whatever else came to mind. “But what about you?” you finally said, “You must be pretty busy since I haven’t had a call from you in a little while.” “Well I was busy except not so much right now,” “Oh?” “There’s some sort of delay, I don’t the details. But it looks like I’ll be here for another few weeks at least.” “Oh.” Ben was a little surprised by how disappointed you sounded. “I really miss you,” “I miss you too,” his voice got softer as he said it, “a lot.” “I really wish I could see you,” “Well,” he said sheepishly, hoping he wasn’t reading things wrong, “how would you feel about coming out here then? I can get you a plane ticket if you want.” “No shit! You can do that? You won’t like, get in trouble or anything?” Ben laughed, not quite understanding, “What are you talking about?” “I don’t know man, I’m not an actor. I just figured it’d be like a partner free zone. Like they wouldn’t want you getting distracted or whatever.” “You fucking dork,” his laughter threatened to obscure the words but he managed to make himself heard, “That’s not how it is at all. You being here wouldn’t be a problem, as long as I’m on set when they need me. Plus it looks like we’re about to have a whole lot of downtime anyway. So does that mean you wanna come?” “Ummm let me think abo- of course Ben!” “Well if I’d known you’d react like this I would have asked sooner,” The laughter had faded, leaving a grin on his face, though the embarrassment at his hesitancy was creeping up too. “Wish you had’ve. Why didn’t you?” “I just didn’t want you to take it the wrong way,” “And what way would that be?” “A romantic way? I don’t know! It’s just the sort of thing that’d happen in a romantic movie or whatever and I didn’t want to come across like that. It’s Greece man, it’s kind of a romantic place. Maybe not like Paris but it’s up there. Don’t laugh,” he groaned, “I’m just saying, white sands and clear seas and lots of pretty flowers in bloom, it’s definitely got romantic vibes.” “It didn’t even cross my mind that it might be that sort of thing. No offence to Greece, I’m sure it’s lovely.” Ben let himself chuckle at his idiocy, “I guess cause I’ve like, y’know, got feelings for you or whatever I saw the romantic side and assumed you would too. Feel silly for not just asking you but I’m glad we have that sorted now.” “I think it’s sweet, Ben. I love that you were conscious of how it might be perceived and I understand you didn’t want to hurt me. But yeah, dude, please get me that ticket, I miss you a stupid amount.” “Alright, I’m on it. When do you want to leave?”

Two days later and Ben was content, sitting and staring out at the waves on a quiet beach as you rubbed sunscreen into his back. He’d greeted you at the airport, feeling ridiculously excited to see you, squeezing you in a tight hug (which you later suggested had cracked one of your ribs). “Okay, all done, now let me do your front,” you shuffled around Ben on your knees, throwing a leg over his lap as he leaned back on his palms. “You’re such a perv,” Ben chuckled, subtly adjusting his posture to push his chest further towards you, “I bet you only suggested sunscreen so you could feel my boobs.” “Oh you caught me,” you squirted some more of the cream directly onto his chest, beginning to rub it in, “Definitely nothing to do with sun safety.” “No I get it, you don’t need to lie to me. You missed my pecks. It’s totally natural. But let me know when you’re done so I can show you the same courtesy.” "Think we might save that till we get back to the hotel, Benny,”  Ben laughed at your exasperated expression, raising one arm to pull you toward him for a kiss, barely noticing the cool of the cream still on your palm as you cupped his cheek and kissed him back.

[honeypirate]

Just an Extra

Bakugou x yn

((I forced myself to finish this no matter how it turned out so I’m sorry if it’s rushed. I needed to finish something again.))

“I can’t believe Aizawa stopped the race like that”

Bakugou aggressively kicked a rock on the walk back to your homes. You just left the school pool after some training before the summer camp. “They’re not only our completion tho, they’re our friends” you say and place a hand on his shoulder to try and ease some of his tension. “I won’t let them get ahead of me! Isn’t that what being the best is?!” His whole body is tensed and his fists clenched. You softly wrap your arms around his body from the back, laying your cheek between his shoulders and your arms tight around his stomach. “Suki..” you whisper “you will be the number one hero, I know you will, but please take care of yourself. You don’t have to fight alone. You don’t have to be alone” you can feel his body relax a little and he sets his hands softly against yours on his stomach as he sighs “y/n. ..” his voice was soft and kind, something you hardly ever heard from him.

Before he can continue you hear footsteps running up behind you and you drop your arms from him and step away quickly. He glares at you “Don’t be an idiot. I know I’m not alone. there’s only one number one hero and that’s going to be me” he shouts just as Kirishima appears next to you “woah Bakugou no need to be such a dick to her” you just smile curtly and continue to walk home.

Kirishima talked the entire walk back, you all live on the same route so you walk together home, you hardly said a thing. Your home was first and so you just waved and ran inside.

It always happened like that. You’d be kind to him and he’d almost be nice back but then he’d shout in your face.

“You were amazing Bakugou!” Squeeze his hand. He whips his hand from your grasp and shouts “I’m always amazing! Idiot!”

“Katsuki are you okay?” You’d be worried and he’d waiver and almost let you hug him, before shoving you away “I’m fine, extra.”

Once when you were walking home with him, you almost went to touch his arm, almost went to say something nice to him. You knew he had a bad day. But you were tired of being yelled at by him. That’s when you learned to keep your mouth shut. To not touch him. You got to your house and you left without a word or glance. You realized then, you wouldn’t be around him anymore since he obviously didn’t like you.

You’ve been acting weird to him for a while, he’s noticed. But he’s not gonna say anything. You’ll come around again. You followed him like a lost puppy. It was so annoying. But he knew. You’d be back.

As the days went by it got easier to be around him when you had to be and you realized how nice it was to not get yelled at every day.

Whenever Kirishima wanted him around you’d be civil. But if it wasn’t for Kiri you probably wouldn’t be Katsuki’s friend anymore.

The times you could hang out alone with Kiri became some of your favorite moments. Like when you sparred with him after a workout and distracted him by kissing his cheek when he tried to put you in a hold. All of your good moments with him were easily ruined when Bakugou would come around with his anger and rudeness.

After your training you walked into the dorms to be met with a glaring look by Bakugou, mad because you were late back and he had plans with Kiri. You rolled your eyes “maybe he likes me more than you because at least I’m nice to him” you say before looking at Kirishima and completely ignoring Bakugou. “Text me?” You ask with a smile and he nods, ruffling your hair. You blush before walking away from them to go shower, still ignoring Bakugou.

This is what your relationship with Bakugou was like now. While your friendship with Kirishima progressed and was amazing. The one with Bakugou disappeared, a year later it’s basically nonexistent since you shared everything with Kirishima and he was respectful to not force you around his other friend.

“What’s her deal?” Bakugou asks when you’re gone. Kirishima rolls his eyes “you’re an idiot Bakugou. If you want to know why she doesn’t like being around you, then go ask her” Bakugou doesn’t know why he didn’t think of that before as he storms off after you, catching you in the stairwell. You always took the stairs because you were on the second floor and it didn’t seem necessary to use an elevator.

He grabs your wrist to stop you “what’s your problem?” He yells at you and you don’t even flinch as you smack him in the face with your other hand. “I don’t have problems with assholes unless they assault me. Don’t. touch. Me. Bakugou” you say and rip your hand from his grasp and begin to walk up the stairs again and he gets annoyed. He pushes past you and blocks your way. “What the fuck happened?” His voice is quieter now even though he’s still fuming, his cheek turning red from your slap.

You were exhausted, to be honest, you felt exasperated and like you don’t care anymore, you just want to go to your room. “Katsuki Bakugou” you chuckle “It should be obvious, shouldn’t it? I didn’t think that the future number one hero would be this dense.” You mocked him and he growled.

You didn’t want to have this conversation now. You were too worked up. But you knew he wouldn’t let it go. “I saw only good in you. I thought you were someone i could trust. And I tried so hard. But you took that and crumbled it beneath your feet on your way to the top. So if you wanna treat me like garbage, take me for granted, yell at me, belittle me, I’m not going to be in your life anymore. You don’t deserve me wasting my energy on you when you only see me as an extra. But Kirishima,” you point in his direction “that guy is so kind and so caring. I don’t know how he does it. He makes me feel like he actually wants to be my friend. I hug him and he hugs me back. He makes me laugh. I don’t have to second guess anything I do with him. I can trust him. I can’t trust you. So. This is me being your extra.” you push past him and run the few steps up to the door and leave him behind in the stairwell.

A short while later you got a text from Kirishima

Kiri- “what did you say to Bakugou?”

You-“I was honest”

Kiri-“he’s acting strange”

You-“Kiri can we talk about it later? Also, will you come to my room later before curfew?”

Kiri-“sure. Why?”

You-“I need a hug”

After that you threw your phone on your bed and went to the showers.

As much as you thought you got over it, you didn’t. You still admired Bakugou. But it’s hard when the person who you admire treats you terrible. It was time to be done with it. You showered, you cried in the shower, then you picked yourself back up and headed to your room.

After studying and watching some tiktoks you get another text from Kirishima

Kiri- “have you eaten dinner?”

You-“ummm”

Kiri-“say less”

After a few minutes there’s a knock at your door and you open it, expecting to find Kirishima, but instead it’s a shy looking Bakugou with a sack of your favorite snacks, some take out, and some ice cream. You invite him in and he sets the bags down on your desk. “What’s going on?” You ask quietly and he clears his throat “I’m sorry” your heart flutters “what was that? I didn’t hear you” you step closer to him and put your hand to your ear. He quickly but softly snatches your hand and you gasp in shock at his facial expression. An expression you never saw him wear, guilt.

“Listen y/n. I’m sorry. I treated you like you weren’t important to me. But I’ve missed you so much” his voice is quiet, cracking at the end. What was happening? You were so shocked and speechless as he continues . “Every time you leave my stomach feels like there is a brick in it. I miss you. I know I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your friendship. I don’t deserve anything from you. I was stupid. I am stupid. Please give me another chance” you’re staring at his face as he looks sheepishly at his hand that’s still holding yours. “It’s been a year” you whisper and he nods “I know” his voice is soft “why now? Is kirishima making you do this?” You’re not angry anymore. You can see how he’s changed because he’d never dream of apologizing to anyone before. “No he’s not making me do shit” he says gruffly and then sighs and looks into your eyes as he continues “I know I really messed up but I’d hate myself if I never tried to fix what I ruined” he’s being honest, you realize, and can’t help but throw your arms around him and hug him, laying your head on his chest as you hold him tight. After a few moments of shock he returns your hug, holding you tight to his chest and he lays his cheek against the top of your head.

“Im not letting you off easy so don’t think that” you say trying to sound stern and you hear a low chuckle from his chest “I know we’ve both changed this last year y/n. I’m just happy you’ll let me have a chance to get to know you again” he says and runs his fingers through your hair.

“The ice cream!” You yell and then pull back and grab it from the bag “do you want some?” You turn to him and hold it up with a smile and he blushes at how cute you looked. “Come on now, eat some dinner first. I got you your favorite from that place we used to like” you gasp and hurry, putting the ice cream in your small bedroom fridge before grabbing his hand and the food bags, pulling him to your bed with you. If he wanted to get to know you again you’ll start right now. He knew he’d not get another chance after this so he’ll make sure not to mess it up this time. You shove a huge bite in your mouth and moan as you chew. It was so good and you haven’t eaten it in so long.

You look up into his eyes as he sits at the edge of your bed “Way I’m don’t -ting” you say through another big bite and he chuckles softly. You swallow before trying to speak again “when I’m done eating” you poke your utensil at him “we’re going to eat that ice cream and talk about everything, what happened, how you hurt me, why you did it. All of it. That’s how we’re going to get over this. That’s how we’re going to move forward.” He nods “Okay” he has a small smile his lips and you nod once “good. You want some?” You offer him a bite and he nods “so bad. I was so nervous to talk to you I haven’t eaten anything” he takes the bite you offer him and you shake your head. A little amused at him. “you dummy. You need to eat. You work harder than everyone” you say and then take a few more big bites before handing the container to him “finish what you want from it, you know I never finish a full plate” he chuckles. “True” he says and nods, taking it from you “thank you y/n” he says, he knows the conversation ahead will be hard, but he feels relieved that you’ll let him in again.

[angstysebfan]

Choices - Chapter 8

Pairing: Steve X Reader, Bucky Reader (not Stucky)

Summary: You fall in love with a super soldier, but after a decision that leaves you heartbroken you find yourself needing to decide where your heart truly lies.

Warnings: Depression, nightmares, wishing for death

It’s been three weeks since Bucky whisked you away from the compound. You are still having bad nightmares, but you are not sleeping the day away anymore. Bucky has had to force you eat most of the time, because you do not have much of an appetite.

You have kept to yourself since your conversation with Bucky about wishing he would have left you. As hard as it is, Bucky has allowed you to take everything at your pace. There are times you want him near you, and times when you want to be alone. 

You have started to sit on the shore of the lake, looking out into the quiet still water, allowing your thoughts to overcome you. How easy it would be to just end everything and take the pain away. You are so tired of being in pain, and yet you don’t know why you are feeling such pain.

Bucky makes sure he is somewhere close by, not trusting you wouldn’t hurt yourself, but you just stay seated, staring off. He loves the times when you want him near, as you normally cuddle in his lap, nuzzling into his neck. He knows you have no idea how much that contact affects him, and he makes sure to keep his composure and just be there for you.

One day, you are both sitting on the edge of the lake, looking out to the other side, where all you see is woods. “It’s so quiet here. It makes my thoughts louder.” you say quietly, as you snuggle closer into Bucky’s chest. Bucky continues to stroke your hair as you speak.

“Did you want to go somewhere else? You know I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.” he says. You sigh, “No. I think I need to hear my thoughts, so I can move on. I honestly don’t know why I feel the pain I do. It’s not like Steve and I were together for years, it was only a few months. I knew he had feelings for Sharon, and I knew that they were doing things behind my back when she returned. I turned a blind eye because I didn’t want to lose him... isn’t that stupid?” you say.

Bucky shifts in the lounger chair and wraps his arms tightly around you. “Just because you didn’t date him for years, doesn’t make this harder. You trusted him, and loved him. Not only has be betrayed your trust, but he was going to allow you to die. You deserve so much better than him.” Bucky says, before kissing the top of your head.

“Why are you so good to me, Bucky? You have always been there for me, and taken care of me. What did I do to deserve you in my life?” you say looking up at him. He gives you a small smile, “I think I should be asking that question, doll. You... you accepted me when you first came to the compound, no questions asked. Most people are scared of me or treat me like I am about to break. You never did. You were like a breath of fresh air, and I think I have improved even more since you came into my life.”

You look at Bucky in shock and then in awe. He always knows how to say the right things, and always did. He was always by your side, no matter what happened. You felt some fluttering in your stomach as you looked into his eyes, but immediately pushed that down. You’re no where near ready to think about Bucky more than friend.

You nuzzled back into his chest and suddenly felt very tired. you felt yourself sinking further into Bucky’s embrace as sleep overtook you. Bucky looked down and saw you asleep and brushed some hair from your face. He thought about how much you better you got over the last few weeks, but knew it was still a long way to go.

--

It was another two weeks later when there was a knock on the door of the cabin. Bucky was in the shower, so you answered it, though you wish you didn’t. Your breath got caught in your throat at the site of Steve standing on the porch. “Y/N,” he said. You felt your lungs starts to close and the panic starting to rise, though Steve seemed to not notice.

“I was hoping you and I could talk for a moment. There is so many things I want to say, and I am sure you want to say back. Can... Can I come in?” he asks quietly. You step back, trying to compose yourself. You walk quickly into the kitchen and grab some water, hoping that will help. Steve sat at the counter, again oblivious to the thoughts and feelings running through your mind.

“Look, I am sure you hate me, and honestly I don’t blame you. I messed up, big time, and I want to apologize for what happened on that mission. I can’t tell you what was going through my head, but I am sorry you got hurt, and are still suffering. How are you doing?” he asks concerned.

You look to the staircase when you hear Bucky’s footsteps coming down, relief coming to you immediately, but not enough for you to breath. “Hey Y/N/N.. do you want... Steve? What the fuck are you doing here?” Bucky says angrily. You step over to Bucky, who immediately wraps a protective arm around you. Steve sees this and his face hardens.

“I came to speak to Y/N, since I have a lot of apologies to give to her.” Steve says. Bucky looks at you and sees the panic in your eyes, “Y/N, go up to your room, okay? I will take care of this and I will let you know when he is gone,” he whispers in your ear. You nod and immediately leave the room.

“Buck, I mean no harm here. I really just wanted to apologize to her, and hopefully help her heal.” Steve says annoyed. Bucky walks up to Steve and punches him in the jaw. Steve falls to the floor with a groan, “Seriously? Bucky, come on! You’re my best friend, and I know what I did was dumb, but I am trying to make it right!” Steve yelled getting up. 

“Make it right?! Please, you are trying to relieve yourself of guilt, nothing more. Tell me, are you and Sharon together right now?” Bucky asks. Steve sighs and looks at the ground, giving Bucky all the answer he needed. “Y/N is trying to heal not only from the poison that almost killed her, thanks to you, but also from the trauma of the man she loves allowing her to die for someone else. She has made so much progress, and you being here might set her back, so tell me, pal, why are you really here?” Bucky again asks stepping closer to Steve.

“Yes, I have guilt but I do care about Y/N! I want to apologize, whether she forgives me or not, she needs to know that I didn’t mean to hurt her and I will regret it for the rest of my life.” Steve says. Bucky just looks at him with an emotionless expression, “I’ll give her the message, now leave and don’t come back here,” Bucky says walking to the door. 

Steve’s face hardens again, “How long have you been in love with my girlfriend, huh? Stop acting like you are doing all of this because you want her to feel better, when we both know you are trying to win her heart too.” Steve says. Bucky grabs Steve by the throat his his metal hand and drags him outside onto the porch.

“Yes, I love her, and it’s because I love her that I saved her life. But everything I am doing now is to help her get better after you destroyed her. She wanted to die, Steve!” Bucky yelled, making Steve pale. “Whether or not she develops feelings for me doesn’t matter, as long as she gets better. I love her enough to let her go if I have to.” Bucky says before releasing Steve.

Steve sits on the stairs of the porch and puts his head in his hands. “Buck, I... I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I almost killed her, I destroyed her, she wants to die because of me! When did I become this... this monster that doesn’t care about anyone else but himself?” Steve says emotionally.

Bucky looks at Steve, “I wish I knew when you changed, cause I would have beat this guy out of you sooner.” he says. Steve sniffs before standing and looks at Bucky with sad eyes, “I’m sorry about what I said, I know that if anyone can lead her from the darkness, it’s you. And I am sorry about just showing up, the guilt was just eating me and I was selfish for coming here without making sure it was okay. And please tell her, it’s okay if she never forgives me, but I am sorry about... everything.” Steve says before turning and walking away.

Bucky watches until Steve disappears and then runs into the house and up into your room. You are lying on your bed, tears falling down your face. He quickly wraps his arms around you, “It’s okay, he’s gone. I’m not going to let him come back and hurt you okay?” he whispers into the top of your head. You wrap your arms around his torso and look up at him. “Thank you Bucky.” you say with a small smile.

Bucky kisses your forehead, “Anytime, you know that. I’ll always be here for you, anytime.”

--

Chapter 7 / Chapter 9

Oh Steve, you should have stayed away. Lucky Bucky didn’t go Winter Soldier on you, but doesn’t mean he won’t next time. And Bucky again being the rock the reader needs. Feedback is appreciated.

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