#im not mad btw! this is just something that i should make people aware of

[hannieehaee]

them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2 - hhu

content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, conflict resolution, direct continuation to this, fluff, happy ending, etc.

part 1

wc: 3889

a/n: literally so many ppl requested thisjhdf im glad u guys liked it!! im working on vu and pu versions for this rn btw <3

masterlist

seungcheol -

seungcheol sat there for a minute or so, simply pondering at what had just happened. it was 100% his fault, that was something he was very well aware of. he knew that it had simply slipped his mind, but that did not wipe away the hurt he saw in your eyes upon entering your shared apartment. knowing that you had been waiting for him all day made him feel like an asshole. he couldn't believe that he had forgotten about your birthday even upon coming home at midnight the night prior. he felt like such a hypocrite, always whining at people to give him royalty treatment on his birthday but absolutely ignoring you during yours. you, his most favorite person.

he felt hurt that you had decided to spend the night with some friends, instead of in the arms of your boyfriend, but he understood. this was what he deserved. god knew that he wouldve pulled out all the dramatics if you had done the same to him, which was why he was now at a standstill, not knowing what he should do. he wanted to see you so badly, get on his knees and apologize, letting you know over and over again that you were the most vital person in his life and that forgetting you was something that not even he could forgive himself for.

now, he could've sat there and lamented himself over his stupid mistake, or he could run after you before you made it out of the building. he did not want you going to bed angry, or much worse, sad, so he picked the latter and got off his ass to chase after you, not caring about his current exhaustion as he took the stairs rather than the elevator in order to be able to catch up to you before you made it to your car.

luckily for him, he was able to catch you just as you stepped out of the elevator (having ran down five flights of stairs and almost injuring himself in the process), completely unsuspecting to his sudden ambush. he hadn't noticed until now, but you had dressed up, clearly ready to go clubbing or partying with your friends. he felt bad to get in the way of your plans. no, he felt horrible to accidentally ditch you and then ruin your plans. but he needed to at least try and make amends. he knew that if this were him, he'd want you to try and make it up to him.

you jumped back a bit at seungcheol's sudden apparition as you rounded the corner upon exiting the elevator, seemingly not having expected him to come after you.

"cheol, what are you doing?", you didn't seem mad, but your tone let him know you were clearly not content with him.

okay, he didn't think as far as this. his main goal was just to convince you to stay, then he would come up with a way to make it up to you.

"baby, i ... i'm so sorry. i know how hypocritical this is coming from me. i never meant to forget, you know that! there's nothing i can do to make up for having forgotten about you today, but please, please let me try."

"cheol .. i don't know," you paused, "last year when i texted you at 12:03 you complained about it for over an hour. you're the one always making a big deal about this. i assumed you'd care when the shoe was on your foot, but apparently not."

"i do! i do care. baby, please. let me take you out. ditch your friends. i'll take you somewhere. anywhere. i'll even take you out tomorrow too! i'll take the day off. how does that sound?"

"you cant take the day off, cheol. you're an idol-"

"i dont care! they can come and try to drag me away from you if they want. i want to be with you. please let me. please don't leave. cant stand the thought of you going to sleep alone after what i did."

you chuckled at the first half of his statement, feeling touched at the second part of it.

"are you sure?"

he scoffed, deciding to go on a leap and hold onto your hands, pulling you closer to him, "yes! there's nothing i wanted to do more today than be with you! it mightve slipped my mind that today was the day, but i had a beautiful day for us planned, baby. will you let me show you? please?"

cheol knew it was hard for you to say no to him, specially when he whined and pouted at you, giving you his best performance in order for you to understand how badly he felt. it didn't take much more for you to break, finally letting a smile graced your face as you squeezed his hands in yours.

"you better make this worth my while, choi seungcheol," god, he hated when anyone called him that, but you were the exception.

"always."

wonwoo -

wonwoo was astonished at himself, for lack of a better word. he had never been more disappointed in himself than in this moment. sure, he didn't take birthdays too seriously, and he knew you didn't either, but you always made him feel so special on his day he had only wanted to do the same. he was a lowkey guy, so his ways of showing love sometimes went unnoticed by most people, except for you. you accepted the subtlety of his love, loving him all the more for it. he felt terrible that today he showed you the exact opposite of what he had planned. he had taken weeks to perfect the dinner he had wanted to make for you, having prepared a romantic night for the two of you. all he wanted was to make you feel loved as he held you through the night, but his plan had stupidly slipped his mind.

what kind of asshole ditches their significant other on their birthday? for a stupid video game out of all things? as soon as wonwoo communicated what you had texted him to mingyu, his roommate couldn't help but scold him, telling him this was very uncharacteristic of him. which it was. everyone knew wonwoo to be a very sensible guy. it was very rare for anyone to have their feelings hurt by wonwoo. the guy was just simply too emotionally intelligent to ever be perceived as a hurtful individual. except now he had shown a careless part of himself that rarely ever faced the surface.

he was unsure of what to do. it was clear by your messages that you did not want to see him. you quite literally had asked him to not come. your texts to him were always filled with love, somehow being able to have your affections to him transcend even through text. but these were cold, and with good reason. still, wonwoo did not want to give up. the only thing that would be worse than ditching you on your birthday would be to stay where he was, knowing you were not only upset but also hurt by his actions. or rather, lack there of.

so, wonwoo was now on his way to you. well, to your apartment. you had mentioned in your messages that you would be out with friends due to his absence. it killed him that you had chosen to be with your friends over him, but he was fully aware that he only had himself to blame for that. he was glad you at least had someone to be with while his forgetfulness kept him away from you.

he had a key to your apartment, often heading over to fall asleep in your arms after a grueling day of being an idol. upon arriving there, he knew you'd be gone, so he allowed himself in, hauling in all the ingredients he had packed with him in order to make you the dinner he had been planning all these weeks. he was unsure of when you'd arrive back home, so he needed to hurry just in case. there was also a chance you'd come back in the early hours of the morning, knowing you would sometimes stay out with your friends til 1 or 2 in the am. having practiced this dinner multiple times, wonwoo was able to have it all done by 10, hoping that you'd arrive soon so the dinner wouldn't go to waste. he took care of the ambience, lighting candles and even moving furniture aside to make space for his set up. all he had to do now was wait for your arrival.

it had taken you around two hours to arrive. wonwoo had simply sat there waiting for you, not wanting to contact you as to not disturb you. okay, maybe he had maniacally texted you back earlier, apologizing for his mistake over and over, but had received no response, so he had decided it'd be best to just wait for you to arrive on your own. and now you were here, crossing the door to your apartment.

you stopped upon spotting him, widening your eyes before taking note of the dinner table behind him, "wonwoo? what are you doing here?"

he smiled sadly at you, slightly unsure of what to say, "i cooked for you," he paused, continuing upon seeing your confusion, "im so sorry. time got the best of me. i cant believe it slipped my mind. i knew it was today, but i got too distracted. i never wanted to make you feel like i didnt care. i do. so much."

you stood there without saying anything, still carrying a slightly shocked expression on your face. so he continued.

"baby ... please, have a meal with me. i prepared all this for you. this is what i had planned for today, if only i hadnt forgotten. let me make it up to you, please. i already called off tomorrow. i had a whole day planned for us, but i'll do whatever you want. if you want me to leave, i will. just, please. i need you to know how much i care. i love you, you're everything."

you continued to stare at him for a bit, a soft smile slowly breaking into your features before responding.

"nonu .. you didn't have to do all this. i'm sorry if i made you worry. this is ... it's such a sweet gesture. of course i want you to stay. all i wanted all day was to be with you," it melted his heart that you had wanted him all day, but were separated by none other than himself.

he pulled you into his arms halfway through your response, humming as he felt you hug him back. nothing felt as nice as your touch against his.

"im so sorry, beautiful. this will never happen again, i promise."

"i love you, wonwoo. thank you."

"happy birthday."

mingyu -

mingyu had never hauled ass quicker than at that moment, not even bothering to say goodbye to his roommate before grabbing a jacket and sprinting out of the door.

he couldn't believe his behavior towards you. you had always been a top priority to him, and to now realize he had forgotten your birthday gutted him tremendously. but what got to him even more was the knowledge that you had probably been waiting all day for him, having agreed beforehand that he would make space for you on your special day even through his packed comeback schedule. the sole thought that you, the bestest person he had ever met, had sat alone waiting for him all day, made him feel like the worst boyfriend. so now he was quite literally running in order to get to you.

the dryness of your voice during that call should've been the first hint that something was wrong, but what really made the alarms go off in his head was your lack of response when he said 'i love you' to you. mingyu knew it was dumb to care so much about it, but he thrived off words of affirmation, so your lack of response made him immediately assume something was wrong. you had never not reciprocated his words of affection, much less hung up on him. the moment he expressed his concerns to wonwoo, he was reminded by his roommate that 'oh wait, isn't it their birthday this week?' suddenly his mind started spiraling, now remembering that he had forgotten his boyfriend duties on the most important day.

it didn't take him too long to get to your apartment. okay, he didn't actually run there, he was just being a tad bit dramatic. but dramatics were necessary in this situation, which is why the moment you begrudgingly opened the door after his incessant knocks, allowing him inside, he immediately dropped to his knees, looking up at you as he rambled apologies at you.

"baby, i'm so fucking sorry. god, i don't know how i forgot. i swear the day just slipped my mind. i had plans ready, i swear! i've just been so busy with the comeback- not that that's an excuse! you have every reason to be mad at me. it won't happen again, i promise, i-" mingyu wasn't sure when exactly he was going to stop listing off constant apologies to you. he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying at this point, just repeating himself over and over again, letting it slip past him that you were now standing above him, holding in your amusement at the state of the pleading man before you.

"mingyu, please get up."

like an obedient boy, he got up, now towering over you as he usually did. he immediately held onto your hands, bringing them up to his chest as he continued his apologies.

"you have every right to be mad at me. i neglected you and forgot about you when i shouldn't have. i didn't even wanna come home to wonwoo tonight! i wanted to come to you! but we have a schedule early tomorrow morning, so it was just easier. but i'll cancel! i'll stay here with you! i wanna make it up to you-"

"mingyu, shut up!"

that was enough for him to slam his mouth shut immediately, looking at you as he waited for your next command words.

"mingyu, listen. i understand. i was hurt you forgot, but i understand you're really busy right now, okay? i'm not angry at you. you don't have to cancel your schedule either. i don't want to get in the way of-"

"i'll do it! you're my top priority, baby. you know that."

"i still don't want you to cancel, gyu. it's fine. i'm not angry. i appreciate your apology. just wanted to be with you today .. i'm sorry if i made you worry," you looked down, almost as if embarrassed by having felt hurt by his actions. this made mingyu melt with guilt.

"no, baby. fuck. how can i make this up to you? can i stay here tonight? hmm? i'll cook you dinner and wake you up with breakfast. i'll even cut my schedule short for tomorrow so i can be back home with you earlier. how's that sound?"

"sounds perfect mingyu, thank you," he took this as confirmation to finally hold you in his arms, swaying you back and forth as he hummed the birthday song lightly against your ear, causing you to giggle against him.

vernon -

everyone was aware that vernon could sometimes be a little too chill for his own good. he didn't make too big of a deal about most things, simply going with the flow and allowing things to evolve on their own. except that could not be done in this situation. right now, he needed to make a choice. give you your space, or run home to you, tail between his legs as he apologized for ever having forgotten about you. the last thing vernon would ever want was for you to not feel the immense amount of love he's always had for you. he knew he could be bad at showing it sometimes, but you were the absolute love of his life, which made him feel devastated over and over again as he kept rereading your texts.

'maybe you should stay at the dorms tonight. not really in the mood for you to spend the night. im sorry. love you.' that was what you had last sent to him exactly thirty-eight minutes ago. how could he just sit with that for the rest of the night? specially when all he wanted to do was be with you and hold you and kiss you and show you how incredibly obsessed with you he was. he was never good with dates, but he had always gotten any and all dates pertaining to you right thus far. he even had a gift for you he had purchased a few months back, but he had stupidly forgotten the day he had been preparing for was this week. this mistake was an outlier, truly, but it hurt you nonetheless, which was all vernon cared about at the moment. he couldn't believe you'd been having to hint at your birthday while your boyfriend remained clueless. you must've felt so dejected. he winced at the thought.

however, right now was not a time for lamentations. even if you kicked him out and told him to get fucked, vernon had to at least try to come home to you now. he quickly went over the situation with his members, explaining that he had been a total douchebag and neglected you. that earned him scoldings from all members present, calling him all types of names and demanding he head over to your apartment right this instant to beg for forgiveness and hope you wouldn't just send him right back.

so now he was on his way to you, despite you having instructed him to stay away. he wanted to respect your wishes, but he couldn't go to sleep tonight knowing your heart was still hurt because of him. he needed to at least see you and have you know that he was willing to try and mend things. vernon wasn't one for public displays, nor was he one for dramatics, but he was willing to pull all stops for you if it meant you'd forgive him. which was why he was currently running through the hybe hallways as he called up his driver to be ready to take him to your apartment as soon as he reached the parking lot.

he had had time to think over a game plan on the way over, except nothing came to mind. the two of you had never fought before. sure, there had been a few minuscule spats here and there, but he had never seen you angry at him before; he'd never given any reason to be until now. he didn't want to freak out over this, but knew how hurtful it must've been for you to feel so neglected by the person who's supposed to love you most, so he felt a pit in his stomach with the worry that maybe this would be enough for you to finally snap at his forgetful tendencies and end it. he didn't have much time to think about this, however, as he now stood in front of your apartment door, fearful of knocking on it.

the decision to open the door was made for him, as you incidentally opened it yourself, yelping at his apparition on the other side of it.

"vernon? what are you doing here?", you didn't seem angry. you seemed more confused at his presence. that was good.

"i- uh ... i'm sorry."

okay, kind of a bad start.

"vernon. i told you not to come over tonight. i'm sorry, i'm not really in the mood to see you right now," even though you didn't appear angry, your eyes wouldn't meet his, making him deflate a bit.

"are you mad at me? i'm so sorry. i didnt mean to forget, i swear," vernon knew there wasn't much he could say past that, but he wanted you to at least know he regretted his neglect.

"i'm not angry, vernon. i'm just a little ... sad. i tried to be subtle about it. i mean, i dont even care for my birthday that much, but i hoped my boyfriend would at least remember it."

"baby, god. i am so fucking sorry. i never meant to make you feel like i didn't care. it just slipped my mind. i know it's not a valid excuse, but i need you to know that it doesnt mean anything. i'm just a fucking idiot. i'm sorry."

he was rambling now. somehow you being hurt by him trumped the chance of you being mad.

"vernon, it's fine. i dont want you beating yourself up about it. i'll get over it. i just need space tonight. i was about to go meet with a friend before you got here," you seemed like you just wanted to get out of the situation, clearly feeling awkward at even expressing your disappointment at him. it made vernon feel like even more of an asshole.

"no! be mad! you shouldn't get over it. i should be making it up to you. stay. please. i'll do anything you want. i'll take tomorrow off. we can do something together. anything you want. i have a gift for you and everything! i got it while in japan, the date just slipped my mind, i swear. please stay. i don't want to leave you alone if i made you sad. please."

"vernon ..."

"please. i don't want to force you. if you want to leave, i'll accept it, but let me make it up to you. i dont want you to feel like i dont care. i do. i know i dont express it much, that's on me. i'll make it known. i'll show you. i don't want to hurt you again, i-"

he was unable to finish his sentence, now stumbling back due to a sudden weight against him. you, with your arms now wrapped around him as your face nuzzled his neck. he instinctively wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you in as he lowered his head to breathe you in, humming as he felt the relief of having you in his hold.

you pulled away too quickly for his liking, eyes slightly glossy but not enough to consider it worrisome, "i forgive you. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to exaggerate. i did feel neglected, but-"

"but nothing. don't apologize, please. this won't happen again, okay? i love you."

"i love you too," you smiled at him before pausing, "i .. do you wanna come in?", you seemed a bit sheepish, probably feeling awkward at hearing vernon ramble apologies at you for the past five minutes, showing way more emotion than he usually did.

"come in? oh, you're not leaving? wait, don't answer that. yes," he held onto your hand before you could say anything, pulling you in for a quick kiss before leading you into your apartment, all under the promise to make up for his previous carelessness and never make you doubt his affections for you ever again.

[claymoresword]

You Get Me So High | Maddy Perez x Rue Bennett

Summary: Rue and Maddy are going on a double date but while alone in the car, they get carried away. 18+

Pairing: Rue x Maddy

Wordcount: 1.5k

Warnings: porn basically no plot, top!rue, pda

Note: i saw that pic of zendaya for the first time today and lost my mind a little.. just got me thinking abt how maddy would react seeing rue wear something like that lol needless to say i got carried away but ur gonna benefit from that! enjoy!

ps: its canon to me whenever maddy and rue are together they act like they're the only two people on earth.. cute but totally inconsiderate to everyone around them

apologies for the sheer amount of typos

"For fuck sake." Rue sighs.

She's been searching for something to binge on Netflix but nothing is peaking her interest. Rue stares at her laptop for a few more seconds until she decides to give up.

She picks up her phone and decides to text Maddy instead. The raven haired latina always seemed to have some new gossip to share with her, maybe tonight will be the same.

It's almost as if Maddy could telepathically hear Rue's cry for help because before she's managed to type anything, her phone lights up with a text.

Mads

picking u up in 5 mins.

Rue's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Rue

what

where we going ?

Mads

kat invited us bowling w her and ethan

u wanna spend time with me don't u

Rue

ofc i do

but i wish you'd tell me earlier i need to mentally prepare for stuff like this

Mads

what does that even mean

im outside btw

Rue glances at her outfit. She's only wearing grey sweatpants and a t shirt. She's basically dressed for bed.

Rue ponders for a second. Maybe she should go put on something else.

Maddy doesnt allow her girlfriend to ruminate on the thought a second longer, she aggressively sounds the car horn.

The older girl is notoriously impatient, Rue will not risk getting on her bad side tonight.

Without missing a beat Rue quickly grabs her phone and wallet, climbing out her bedroom window to meet Maddy in the car.

Rue climbs in the vehicle and greets Maddy with a peck on the lips.

The shorter girl taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss for a few moments, settling her hand on the back of Rue's neck.

"Hey" Rue breathes out against Maddy's lips, as a smile forms on her own.

"Hi" The older girl responds, reciprocating the smile.

Rue leans back and reaches over to put on her seat belt.

"You're literally an angel sent to save me from existential boredom." Rue quips.

Maddy rolls her eyes in response but a smile forms on her lips.

---

They pull up to the bowling arena and Maddy takes one final look at herself in the car mirror, running her hands through her hair, making sure she looks presentable.

As Maddy was focused on herself Rue unwarily grabs the bottom of her t shirt lifting it to wipe her mouth. Exposing her toned stomach.

It was only then when Maddy took notice of what Rue was wearing.

She had on an oversized t shirt with grey sweatpants that hung just below her waist, her boxers showing a little.

Maddy feels something stir in the pit of her stomach. She can't really explain why she finds it so attractive. She's heard people talk about how hot sweatpants were on men but she always found it was overrated.

Seeing it on Rue however, it makes sense.

It's as if they were invented specifically for her.

Her girlfriend's ability to look good without really trying has always been something Maddy admired.

Rue goes to pull up her pants slightly still unware of her girlfriend gawking at her.

Maddy then focuses her eyes on Rue's hands, she notices her prominent veins and long fingers.

Her talented fingers.

The taller girl's hands were noticeably large compared to Maddy's smaller more delicate ones.

Rue always knows what to do with her hands.

Maddy finds herself picturing Rue's hands all over her body, grabbing her thighs, her chest, her ass.

Maddy's train of thought gets interrupted when Rue clears her throat. Now finally aware of her girlfriends fixed gaze on her.

"Can i help you with something?" Rue asks humor evident in her tone.

"Hm?" Maddy responds meeting her girlfriend's gaze an innocuous look on her face.

"You're eyeing me like a piece of meat." Rue states.

A smirk forms across Maddy's face but doesn't say anything in response, only leaning in to pull the taller girl in for a deep kiss.

Rue kisses Maddy back just as hard, she leans forward slightly her hand moving to rub the older girl's exposed thigh.

Another rush of arousal goes through Maddy's body this time settling right at her core.

She pushes Rue backwards the younger girl now back in her own seat.

Maddy quickly unbuckles her seatbelt moving her legs up, straddling Rue, her legs settling on either side of the taller girl's hips.

Maddy tugs at the hem of Rue's sweatpants as she places a wet kiss on her neck. She then runs her tongue along the base of her ear before moving down again settling on her pulse point. Rue's breathing quickens, urging the smaller girl to bite down on her neck. That earned a louder more desperate noise from the younger girl.

"Baby, we're in a parking lot." Rue whispers, referring to the amount people going in and out of their cars in the busy area.

"I don't care." Maddy responds, kissing her girlfriend again before grabbing Rue's hand, placing it on her own ass.

Rue gives Maddy's ass a firm squeeze before slowly finding her way back to her thigh.

She lifts up Maddy's skirt slightly, exposing her girlfriend's underwear and giving herself more access.

Rue's is once again rubbing at her girlfriend's thigh but moving no further.

Maddy grows more impatient as she squirms in her girlfriend's lap. Eventually seeking more friction for her now throbbing core, Maddy starts grinding against the taller girl's lap, her hand getting lost in Rue's hair giving it a firm tug.

Rue moves her hand up and kneads Maddy's breast over her top.

The smaller girl's breathing now heavy as a moan spills out of her directly into Rue's mouth, hips still moving against her lap.

"Fuck me." Maddy breathes out, her voice trembling.

Rue moves her hand now placing the palm of her hand directly onto her girlfriend's center rubbing circles over the fabric of her underwear.

Maddy moves her hips following the motion, grinding against Rue's hand.

The younger girl finds the zipper on Maddy's jacket and unzips it with one hand exposing her bare chest. Rue's mouth quickly takes Maddy's nipples into her mouth. Licking it in circles matching the momentum of her other hand on Maddy's pussy.

Maddy whines, growing more desperate.

She hastily grabs Rue's hand dipping it into her underwear, signaling for Rue to put her fingers inside her.

The younger girl dips two fingers into her girlfriend's entrance feeling just how wet the older girl was. Her fingers slide into her with ease and she starts pumping, quick and deep, feeling Maddy's walls contract against her.

Maddy starts moving her hips again, this time bouncing up and down on Rue's fingers assisting with her own pleasure.

Rue feels Maddy's arousal drip onto her hand and down the shorter girl's thigh. Her own breathing now growing more ragged as she watches her girlfriend move against her fingers.

Rue thought Maddy always looked beautiful but she was truly most breathtaking when she's on top of her like this, eager and wanting for release.

Maddy's moans now growing louder and more obscene.

People walking past definitely heard them but Rue didn't care anymore, she actually found immense pleasure in it.

"Fuck- Rue" Maddy chokes out. Hearing her girlfriend say her name with such need sent a jolt throughout Rue's body.

She starts pumping into the older girl deeper and harder.

Like a reflex, Maddy's hand moves to Rue's throat wrapping her fingers around and holding her firmly in place.

She was about to cum, Rue could tell based on Maddy's grip on her neck accompanied with the expression her face and the feeling of her walls tightening against her fingers.

Just as Maddy was reaching her climax, Rue leans forward and bites down on Maddy's neck, hard.

The older girl screams out, and Rue brings her hand over her mouth muffling the deafening sounds of pleasure spilling out of her girlfriend.

Maddy's eyes roll to the back of her head and her whole body is now trembling, as the intense orgasm rips through her.

Rue watches her girlfriend in awe.

She pulls her fingers out of her and Maddy whines at the loss.

Eyes hooded, she watches as Rue licks her fingers clean.

Maddy crashes their lips, rubbing her tongue against Rue's, tasting herself.

"You're so fucking amazing." Maddy says breathless, once their lips disconnected.

Rue pulls her girlfriend in for another kiss without saying a word merely smiling into it, and then moving to place a quick kiss on Maddy's forehead.

Maddy leans her head against Rue's chest, letting herself rest on her lap, trying to regain her strength.

Rue takes the opportunity to rub Maddy's back soothingly giving her the time she needs to recover.

Their moment of bliss was finally interrupted when they hear knocks on the window.

It was Kat.

"What the hell? I've been texting you. This is what you've been doing?" Kat huffs, evidently annoyed.

Maddy lifts her head and meets Rue's gaze both of them stiffling a laugh.

[rollercoasterwords]

(this is from marxismlupinism btw just sending an anon cause still shadowbanned + dont want my r/s blog tied to my main blog anyway)

lmao if only my followers were your followers literally idk why my anons r so mad im just stating the established party line of the blog they chose to follow...

literally every online community ive been in youve been able to say you think the community has XYZ problem and people could discuss the problem and suggest solutions honestly baffling that peoples response to someone saying the hp fandom is transphobic is to go "no it's not" instead of, idk, either trying to make it less transphobic if you think it's salvageable or leaving it if you think it's unsalvageable. the only communities ik that would respond to an accusation of transphobia w denial rather than taking trans people's concerns seriously are, well, actually overtly explicitly transphobic communities lol... and the people claiming they "engage critically" are very clearly not if their response to criticism of the hp fandom is to be defensive—if you engage critically with something that means taking seriously good faith criticism of the thing you engage critically with. like i "engaged critically" w hp/rs for the past 2.5 years and i have never ever gotten defensive at someone criticising hp or its fandom (esp since like... almost all the people criticising hp or its fandom are trans and im not gonna go harass another trans person for being understandably upset at ppl engaging w transphobic media lol).

hp fans (including tme trans hp fans—and, btw, we're well aware there are some transmasculine hp fans, the rest of the trans community just think they suck and are losers lol and i can't imagine that the transmasc hp fans aren't aware of this fact unless they just dont interact w other trans people outside the hp fandom at all) will criticise hp and jkr while believing that the hp fandom itself is above criticism. this does the dual work of distancing themselves from harry potter/jkr, which even they cannot defend/pretend is not bad, while also absolving themselves of all responsibility for any transphobia & transmisogyny they perpetuate or engage in. it's honestly a deeply immature way of engaging with media as well as one that logically falls apart under any scrutiny—firstly, if you accept that hp and its author are deeply bigoted, isn't it just logical that its fanbase would share the politics of the source media? secondly, this is just empirically false lol. there didnt always used to be basically no trans women in the hp fandom—i myself used to be friends with several back in the old days—but most transfems left the fandom in 2020–2021 bc of jkr's increasing transmisogyny. and speak to any of the transfems who did leave at that time and they can tell you their firsthand experiences. like, i really dunno how you can claim the hp fandom isnt transmisogynistic without just outright saying that you think most trans women are crazy and making shit up when they say they dont want anything to do with hp or its fans.

anyway ill stop writing essays in ur inbox now rae xoxo love ya have a nice day!

hi laura <3 yeah truly i think it is so weird that someone would choose 2 follow a blog on tumblr.com which clearly states "i don't like hp/hp fandom" and then get mad when that blog makes a post saying. "i don't like hp/hp fandom." babe why r u at the criticizing hp fandom store if u don't want hp fandom criticism....

and yeah i've talked before on my blog abt how like. i do not think we can "separate" fandom from jkr + the inherent shittiness of hp + my personal stance is that i think if u are engaging with hp fandom in 2023 u should at least be prepared to acknowledge + address the fact that u are engaging w a fundamentally conservative piece of media that is rooted in horrible politics, bc if u don't fully understand how jkr's politics are steeped throughout the franchise then it is much more likely that u will just be. absorbing + perpetuating them.

i think something that gets left out of a lot of conversations abt jkr even when discussing how shitty she is within hp fandom is the fact that like. yeah she's broadly transphobic, but she is specifically transmisogynistic, and the politics + policies she endorses are most targeted + harmful towards trans women. in my personal experience thus far in hp fandom i've encountered a lot of tme trans people, and i think there can be this tendency to go "well i'm trans and i know so many trans people who have carved out a space in this fandom that is super affirming + positive for ourselves, so obviously there is no transphobia here" and like. bc of the strong emotional connection to what people view as a safe queer space it can feel like an attack or whatever when someone goes "ok but. have u considered transmisogyny." or just whenever someone is like. rude/mean/cunty in their criticism of hp--but like. tbh as tme trans people i just think it's more important to recognize that many other trans people (and especially tma trans people) have a reason for being rude/mean/cunty in their criticism of hp and even if it hurts ur feelings it's more important to actually think about where that critique is coming from then to get upset bc u feel like it wasn't phrased nicely. at the end of the day just bc a space feels safe 2 u does not mean it is going 2 feel safe 2 everyone!!

[oru-tree]

Well... time for ep 5, s5 spoilers ahead

This guy

YES!!! MANAKA!!!

Are they going to do something about this this time around, please do something

Oh you are doing nothing then? cool :/, well turns out the guy didnt want to shake hands for 5mins, just wanted to meet retsuko, hm

really why do this

She blew a whistle because she thought the guy was going to take out a weapon and these guys showed up, so I GUESS that’s their way to show that they are better about this issue now

The fans are yelling at him to leave

Well sorry everyone is reacting like this, the group got a stalker and a member was attacked a couple of seasons ago, whats the point of this

They killed him

This is what I said about them addressing previous seasons issues, it’s like, at least you are aware that there were problems with this, but also I don’t know if this solution really works, suddenly all the idol fans are cool and normal about them, their manager doesn’t do that much either who is the one I would have expected to do more about it but well.. that didnt happen.

Back to retsuko

Her dad took a pic of them and cut Haida out of it, good

Your dad hates haida retsuko

Conversation turns immediatly about haida of course

He kept making remarks at their convo so retsuko told him this, good, she can do this now.

Haida works at a convenience store now, I like his coworkers designs

One of them (the racoon) gave haida a box of persimmons, I didnt know this about them

Learning so much about persimmons rn (that people either love them or hate them)

He’s trying to get rid of them but no one he has called so far wants them, give them to me

Please let the series be about persimmons now, Im so curious

:( shikabane...

Someones ringing at their door... scarey

It was these guys, they are going to kill haida now

Manaka ilu so much

Haida barely passes the being able to protect retsuko approval so manaka offers one of the guys, none of them wanted persimmons either btw

Sorry team! The guy followed you and now knows where retsuko lives

Finally, a persimmon lover

:)

I have conflicted feelings about tadano because on one hand, he’s like.. bad rich, but on the other he’s a cute donkey and hasn’t done that much through the series to make me mad like haida has and also he likes persimmons now

These two should have become lovers instead, no I wont elaborate

wow

Accidentally called her Re-chan

whats going on in here

GAH

HIS LIMO NOO, Tadano you live like this...

Haida’s showing him around the cafe he lived at when he was homeless

They are so funny together, sad, why cant retsuko and haida be funny together

Tadano’s life

The cafe’s owner is like, haida why do you know this famous guy, well, they have a thing going on

Nooo where is she :(

The guy that gave haida employment while he was homeless injured himself and cannot work anymore, he was homeless as well... No one knows where he is anymore

Talking about how difficult it is to survive without someone to rely on, shikabane’s life consisted of living on an internet cafe, doing enough online temp jobs to get enough money to keep renting her space at the cafe to play online games and so on.

ep ends on haida receiving a call from his evil brother to go back at home with their evil father

[icybeanheadcanons]

If you can I have an ask, for as many of the skelies as you can. SO walking home on their own, gets mugged and stabbed, and then just?? Continues home, dripping blood? No change in facial expression? And then they open the door, say HONEY IM HOME and faceplant onto the floor. Explains everything after waking up. Chaotic dumbass energy. Your writings amazing btw

FHOIWEFHAO OH MY GOD CHAOS also thank you!!!!!!!

Trigger Warning: mugging mention, stabbing mention

-------------

Classy Bean

JESUS CHRIST. He’s running over to you in a panic and just scoops you up and starts the healing process. When you wake up and explain, he’s worried about you. Please be careful. No dark alleys. Ya hear?? None of those. Confiscated.

Red Boy

...BABE???? WHY?? He’s picked you up and started getting some healing magic going. Once you come to, and explain he’s mad. What the fuck is WRONG with people??????? After the scare, and some time has passed, this is something the two of you laugh particularly the “HONEY I’M HOME” and faceplanting onto the floor. 

Honey Bear

Oh well FUCK, he’s hurried over and started taking care of your wounds, doing monster magic should do the trick, and when you come to and explain he’s glad to know you were able to make it home. Absolutely INSANE walking home after that, but at least you made it. He’s aware he can’t stop this behavior of yours but he asks you to at least TRY to not be so chaotically stupid, walking home after being STABBED. Stealing his spotlight as chaotic dumbass smh. But after a little bit he’s teasing you about shouting HONEY I’M HOME. “HONEY I’M HOME! I’VE BEEN STABBED!” 

Rus

Oh FUCK He’s healing you and laying you down to rest. He doesn’t leave your side until you wake up. When you explain, he’s so worried about you. He’s gonna be a little clingier then normal, because that was absolutely terrifying. You’re laughing at what you did when you came home, and he’s ANXIOUS. 

Scaryberry

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! He’s going a mile a minute, he’s run over to you, and he just realizes you’ve been stabbed. He’s healing the wound, but his head is somewhere else. Oh my god, oh my god please make it please make it please make it. You wake up not too long after being healed, and he’s talking a mile a minute at you. You calm him down and explain what happened, and he gives you the biggest hug you’ve ever received in your LIFE. 

[bikerboyfriend]

I love your analysis on naruto!! If you want could you give your opinion/analysis on Itachi and sasuke’s relationship?

thanks :) and...wow okay 😩 I put all my shit about Itachi under the cut bc it got too long (naruto spoilers btw 🤨🤨🤨 for the whole series)

Itachi and Sasuke's entire story is just horrifically sad. What makes me so mad about the ending, is that there is no way that Sasuke could resign himself to Konoha after learning everything about the massacre. Nor would Naruto & Kakashi have ever forced him after learning the truth from Obito. Regardless of what Itachi wanted in the end—HE HIMSELF is like that because of years of manipulation from having served Konoha for 3 years under the ANBU.

So, it's not like what Itachi wants is even...something to fight for🤷🏾‍♂️ there are hundreds of life experiences he didn't go through because he became an ANBU at that age & then immediately defected. He doesn't even want anything for himself, his main goals were peace in the shinobi world & keeping his brother safe.

Sasuke doesn't even know the truth about the massacre until after he kills Itachi and learns all of this alone in a bar somewhere. The greatest conflict lies with Sasuke, because he looked up to and loved Itachi so much and then spent the rest of his life throwing everything away to track down and kill him. He refused to call Itachi his brother or even say his name until they see each other and he spends years conflicting over it.

I think Sasuke, with how smart he is, knew that Itachi just losing his mind and killing everyone made no sense. I also think no matter how bad of a person Itachi tried to make himself in Sasuke's eyes, every single other memory he with Itachi up until the massacre was good. Sure Itachi was distant before the clan's final moments, but he most probably didn't think too much of it when he was younger. Probably partially blames himself for that too. The whole thing just didn't make sense, but he's the only one left and he has to avenge them. And he probably didn't let himself contemplate on these thoughts too much because it'd feel disrespectful to the the clan that lost their lives.

So then upon learning the truth. Tbh, it's no wonder he just lost his mind. Like, I had a lot of things I was gonna say but like, no wonder. Like that one post said, the Uchiha genuinely love eachother to insanity. They feel too much, they think too much & it always leads them to this. I don't think any of them are inherently bad, just victims to how they're treated by others. And what's even more fucked up, is rememeber how Itachi gets re-animated during the war and they meet again, sure he gets some more closure but like...it's not like Itachi has anything new to say. At this point, there's like a very stark change of the way Sasuke sees Itachi. Idk it was real sad...I'm not making sense anymore 😄

SO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. TL;DR ...I think there was just a lot of longing and guilt on both sides. I honestly think, that if Itachi didn't feel so immensely guilty for the clan and dropped the act, he could've calmed Sasuke down when they met again in order to have Sasuke kill him. They loved each other very much and I think it's really sad that they both had to go through this on their own....yk. They missed eachother a lot nd it's really terrible how things turn out 🏃🏾‍♂️

There's a lot to Itachi, but also nothing much because of how short of a life he lived when you think about it. He's severely traumatised and all this trauma he goes through before he even turns 12. Konoha took advantage of that, like they did with any kid there and made him into a weapon. His best friend, the only people who shared and understood his views and sentiments kills himself after a GROWN ASS MAN stole his eye & he gives the other to Itachi. Then Danzo took even further advantage of that and asked a 12 year old to pick between letting his entire clan get killed or allowing him to kill them all and spare his brother. Then he defects and CONTINUES TO PROTECT KONOHA within Akatsuki, all for his brother. Then he dies at his brothers hand.

And doing this, Itachi decides that Sasuke is the one who should punish him for all these actions. Which is.....very bad, Sasuke was maybe 7-9 years old at this time. He's fully aware for his actions, but he has to deal with the guilt somehow and he pushes it all onto Sasuke so he can..."make himself stronger". Which is dumb as hell, but to him it's the best way for Sasuke to come out of the situation stronger. He genuinely thought that this was the best outcome and when Sasuke talks to him during the Great Shinobi War, he's so conflicted at how Itachi could think that was the best option. Idk im just recounting atp 🤷🏾‍♂️ but I think it's just really sad that Itachi thought that's all he could do for his brother & Sasuke very reasonably, ended up like that. Yk...just very twisted 😩 Ok thx for reading this entire mess

[rainecloud020604]

longass rant I'm sticking here cause I need this out of my fucking head so I can do schoolwork I don't recommend reading this at all but like heaving tws for current events and suicide

I've been sick with the flu, two weeks (yes its the flu not covid ive been tested) and my mental health has been rotting while i have to rest in bed so i dont god damn hurt myself trying to do too much physical stuff, one day i could barely move and i slept most of the day, my legs didnt work and it took until about 8 at night for my arms to work, it was horrible and terrifying, this happened thursday btw it wasnt that long ago. I've been trying to reach out for help with my mental health for years and this year is the most progress ive achieved in all of that time, that being said we are in year three of a pandemic where the 1% can sit from afar and watch the poor die and rot from something if they got of their asses and helped we can have maybe helped with..but no they profit off of the mass loss and deaths as the counter keeps rising. Governments dont care, no one seems to be phased anymore and its horrible i want it to all stop i want to stop being so aware of it to the point its hurting me. but I cant and its horrible, this world is full of so many horrors where cishet white men make the rules, i hate it. I try what i can to help, i sign things i spread things as much as i can without risking hurting myself, which isnt a lot and it feels like little more, im almost and adult and i dont like the idea of having to enter this forced idea of i need a job and i need to do this and that while im a mentally ill child still. I didnt expect to make it this far why does it hurt to much more to be here now, why is the world falling and crumbling around us as we burn our forests and pollute our water cause it gives some pigs another dollar in their fucking pocket with the other billion they have there, why are our lives viewed as so fucking disposable by others it enrages me that so many people can shrug off the horrors of this that we need to change and have been needing to be changed for years. The world is not built for me at all, the only step up I have in this god forsaken world is that im god damn white. thats it. im poor, disabled, mentally ill, trans and queer, afab the world is against almost everything i fucking am and everyone who falls into every category afterwards, yet people get mad that we are mad why are we getting mad at each other we should be mad at the system designed to enslave and fail on those it pretends to protect, why are people so BLIND to it all, WHY arent they looking at the truth just a glance i know it hurts seeing how much is a lie but we need to fucking fix it please, i hate that i feel so alone and disconnected from this reality that im trying my hardest to fix in small ways but NOTHING works im still just a god damn kid who wanted to kill himself at the age of 8 and some days i wake up regretting not doing it, i didnt think id live past 16, its so SAD how an 8 year old was waiting for the world to fail on her so soon its so upsetting.. its so god damn frustrating. i god damn hate it here and how fucked up our world is and how hard it feels to change it

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Hey Sarah. Feel free to ignore this if it’s weird but I was just wondering if you ever have body insecurities? I’m fourteen and all my friends say they’re really happy with their bodies and can’t imagine not being happy with them but they’re all a lot prettier/skinnier than I am and tend to just laugh it off when I bring it up. Just wondering if it’s something other people experience or if im just really not that great looking and my worries are founded.

Hey! Sorry for the delay on this. Things have been a bit mad.

Yes, lovely anon, I have always been terribly self-loathing where my body and appearance are concerned. Particularly re: my weight. I don’t know if I should blame society or my mother (she has always criticised my weight and assured me that I’m not pretty), but I do know that feeling insecure about your looks and your body at the age of fourteen is perfectly normal and something you share with most people, even people who are three times your age. I’m sure most of my followers would agree that they have the same/similiar insecurities about their appearance. Unfortunately, the world conditions us to feel like this. Have you ever seen an episode of Riverdale? Have you seen the way the girls in that show are made to look? I believe Lili Reinhart (who is too talented for that show, btw) has gone on record as saying that she has suffered extreme hair damage because they obsessively fix her ponytail into place upwards of 70 times a day when she’s filming. SEVENTY TIMES A DAY TO PRESENT AN ILLUSION OF PERFECTION THAT IS NOT ATTAINABLE BECAUSE WHO HAS THE TIME TO FIX THEIR HAIR SEVENTY TIMES A DAY? That’s the kind of shit that gets rammed down our throats from the moment we’re old enough to be self-aware. We’re told that we’re supposed to look like Cheryl Blossom (who is supposed to be, what? Sixteen? and trussed up like a thirty-year-old model?) and we have somehow failed ourselves if we don’t. It’s fucked up. None of us deserve to feel this way about ourselves, yet most of us do.

Do you know, I’ve gained 140lbs since I moved in with my boyfriend? I am most certainly overweight now, unhealthily so, and getting rid of that weight will be a looooong process (I joined Slimming World two weeks ago and have lost 14lbs so far, which seems drastic, but it will slow down soon). I wish I had been more health conscious a few years ago when I first moved here and stopped going to the gym, etc, because my weight has definitely affected my health and energy levels, and as a parent I want that energy so I can have fun with my kid, but I also wish I hadn’t been so convinced that I was hideously fat and disgusting before I put that weight on. I look back on pictures of myself from 2013 and I look BEAUTIFUL: healthy weight, skin clear, hair shining, bright-eyed and energetic, and remember how all I cared about was my little pot belly and how much I hated it and ugly I felt when I looked in the mirror. I am 32 years old now, and gradually accepting the inevitability of growing older, so it makes me sad to think I misspent my youth failing to appreciate myself and my body. I appreciate it more now, and am doing my very best to treat it kindly, stay hydrated and eat good foods, but still... I look back on the way I was and it makes me feel really sad. And I don’t want you to be 32 one day and regret how you felt about yourself when you were young, anon. I really don’t. I know exactly how you feel because I have been you, feeling like I was the ugliest one in a group of prettier people, but beauty is subjective, perfection is a myth and you are more than enough the way you are.

So if you want my advice, and I know you didn’t ask for it: be kind to yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you can. I don’t care if that means doing your hair nicely or slapping nice-smelling creams on your face or sticking affirmations to your mirror so that you can remind yourself every morning that your body is worth appreciating, find what works for you and commit to doing it. I can’t in good conscience be all Jameela Jamil about this (she is a top shelf human) because I haven’t reached her level of body acceptance and don’t like to preach what I can’t practice, but she advocates exercising and eating well for the sake of your mental and physical health and on that point I completely agree with her. If you are worried about your weight, eat healthy by all means, drink more water and exercise when you can, but make sure to remind yourself every day that you are making the choices you make because you want to be kind to your body and not because you feel inferior to your friends or want to be thinner, because once you start to take pride in the kindnesses that you are showing to yourself, it is so much easier to take pride in yourself. You deserve the same love and admiration that you spare for all of your “prettier” friends and I’m sure that many of them are more than willing to remind you that you’re awesome.

[we8comic]

i was the anon who sent the eyeroll dream thing and genuinely actually do you have any feelings about like dream and by extension sapnap trying to assert themselves into pop off trio streams

because i’m not gonna lie as much as i love dream and sapnap and yeah the going dark thing was funny, they do have this problem where they show up and get confrontational about not being invited and when they do that shit and put everyone on the spot about “being left out” it’s very weird to me you should just accept they want to have a stream alone right..? i was wondering what you thought about that and whether you think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out

like let george hang out with his other friends maybe i doubt they’d do this if it was quackity and karl with anyone else or even just them alone

also i’m too much of a coward to discuss this on my own main idk if you know who this is but i have a feeling it’s smth you agree with and it’s veryyy nice to see someone calling sapnap and dream out for their occasional annoying and stream ruining behaviour

sorry this is so long!! you also totally don’t have to answer btw lmao i just notice the same frustration sometimes through your liveblogging whenever sapnap and dream crash a stream

anonymous: wait wait to add onto my last ask it was the biggest power move for karl to announce that the sex havers only consists of george karl and quackity and i really felt like that was a hint drop from him, i think jokingly adding that anyone else is “a friend of sex havers” was to lessen the impact but i still enjoy the fact that he asserted (and has been asserting) that their group when they’re together is an exclusive trio

i felt it that time he was like yeah well. we were the original sex havers groupchat and i feel like sapnap and dream kinda wriggled themselves into being included like i hope none of this sounds mean i just really want dream and sapnap to understand it’s okay to not be included in everything

oh MAN do i have feelings 😩 dream and sapnap are almost comically emasculated by any little thing that makes them feel inferior and that includes being excluded from things. and i personally feel they have no right to get angry about being left out and to then show up onto their streams to express that theyre upset in front of an audience of thousands. i say this because the other three ALWAYS mention that they dm'd them and invited them to the activity or otherwise said they had reason to believe dream or sapnap wouldnt be available (and even outside of that, theyre not required to tell the other about every single one of their plans lol)

i think getting confrontational about it on stream in the middle of planned activities is childish. take a look at bad for example, who also isnt a part of the trio but doesnt get confrontational about having been left out. the trio is full of lighthearted people, bad came into the call and they asked him if he wanted to join in the game they were playing and he did and that was it. compare that to dream or sapnap and when they join calls. theyre consistently immediately accusatory. the trio will take it in stride (cus again. an audience of over 100k is watching. its really not the time and place to whine and get mad about feeling left out, those are convos to have in private), theyll throw some facts like "we invited you" "you said you were busy" "we already had this planned for a while" etc., then theyll offer an invitation to join. this invitation is usually met w quite frankly STUPID debate about "well why wasnt i included in the first place" like dude. read the room, youre streamers for a living, talk about these things off stream like an adult. plus they literally already said you could join if you still wanted to, whats the problem, why drag it out for longer than it needs to be. it just stalls the stream and their plans and shifts the lighthearted tone into somethin a little more careful (however briefly it might be, it didnt need to happen)

i LOVE karl for saying that theyre their own group and joking that their attitude is why theyre friends of sex havers. it felt like a lighthearted way to lift the mood again and kinda say "hey, we do our own things sometimes, chill"

i cant speak for whether i think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out cus not only do i not know them personally, theyre also not ccs i focus energy on (thats for quackity and george 😌) i DO think that with all the times theyve brought it up when crashing the trio streams, they should really by this point have talked about it off screen. it feels almost like they use the audience as a safety net to avoid the consequence of intruding/being mean cus whoever theyre talking to has to keep a certain face and therefore cant say certain things (might even hazard a guess that off screen they probably still dont REALLY talk about it)

i dont blame them for wanting to be a part of things their friends are doing but i blame them for the way they express that. it makes the atmosphere tense by making it far too personal for something thats visible to a live public audience.

i know theyre around the same age, but the way dream an sapnap handle conflict on screen IS immature vs the way quackity and karl do. quackity and karl have been entertainers for A WHILE and understand how to stay entertaining and theyre far more aware of their audience and the overall mood and how to handle problems and conflict without things getting too tense. dream and sapnap (sapnap moreso) have a habit of being confrontational and not lightening the mood and instead continuing to be mad, making everyone else in the call responsible for the energy of the stream instead of them themselves dealing with the tenseness theyve caused. it makes things awkward and im always hoping itll end fast and that theyd please for the love of god talk about it off stream

thats worded a little dramatically cus its rarely ever THAT bad, but it would be SO much better if it just didnt happen yknow. if they understood that they dont have to be a part of everything their other friends do AND if they understood that getting mad on stream and stalling their plans and souring the vibe isnt the best way to handle it.

tl;dr: theyre their own group who do their own things and arent required to share their plans w the rest of their friends (and usually they dm in advance anyway asking if they wanna be a part of their plans). dream and sapnap feeling excluded isnt something they should get overly heated about on stream (its an immature way to bring up the issue especially without ever offering a solution). these are problems they should talk about off stream where the trio dont have to be so conscious about their audience and its perception. i love karl and quackity for emphasizing that theyre their own group with their own plans and joking that the way they act is WHY theyre not part of the group. i think they deal w it as well as they can and i think dream and sapnap need to learn just a little more spacial awareness and how to handle conflict

edit: quackity/karl/george should be fully able to have their own stream together without anyone else intruding. dream and sapnap arent their bosses, they dont need to run all their plans by them first. if they want to have streams with just their own established group, they should be able to have that.

[sharkb0yinthewat3r]

What was coming out like for you?

For years I was closeted and i really didn’t want to do it. I go back and forth between whether or not I thought it was unnecessary or I told myself it was unnecessary so I wouldn’t have to do it. It was probably a little bit of both.

I knew for a while that at the very least my mom knew since she was the only one dropping hints. But if she did so did everybody else. After I was like truly accepting of myself, I really did buy into the narrative that i didn’t need to do it. On one hand I felt like everyone in my family already knew so there was no need to inform them, there was no need to bring it up out of nowhere unprompted, and it’s just ridiculous that that’s something anyone has to do. I’m more than my sexuality and straight people don’t have to come out.

Anyway this ended up being a really long post feel free to read all of it, but the main takeaway is that coming out was scary. Even when I knew nothing big was going to come of it, there’s just like this anxiety I had and I think it’s normal. Im lucky to live a life where I can be myself freely without having to be concerned about repercussions. I would say me coming out to my friends/just not hiding who I was from them was a great experience. My cousins were so great. My mom and my sister, I guess I wish that those had gone better which is crazy to me because they had known the longest and had so long to prepare and just didn’t have ideal reactions (far from awful but it was kinda just like uhhh ok?) and then my dads is probably my favorite bc that’s how it should be for everyone. It was ultimately very freeing for me but it was also like very uncomfortable for me.

My coming out happened in 4 phases:

1. College freshman year: i was struggling with my sexuality after I got my first crush and wasn’t sure whether or not people would accept me and eventually I told one friend that I lived with and he never treated me differently, I think I told three other friends that were girls, but overall it was extremely difficult to communicate for me. I would say that this was a time in which I was still closeted.

2. I now work on accepting myself and don’t really talk about it with people unless it comes up for the next three years. I’m now in my fourth year of college and join an org where I’m placed on a committee that’s essentially 60% gay males 40% straight males (and girls). My goal when joining was just to be open and let people get to know me. I was still middle ish of the road and sorta wanted to be perceived as straight. I think people just kind of started to assume I was gay and it was like “oh I don’t have to think about telling anyone anything or acting a certain way. I can just be myself” and I kinda just let loose and as we started hanging out and going to parties together I was able to open up and be myself judgement free and it was just so much fun and that’s when I like TRULY accepted myself and I was like life should be like this all the time. I can’t believe I haven’t been doing this. This was more of like a me coming out to myself than anything else and showing myself how enjoyable life can be when you don’t bottle yourself up.

3. Same year (after my first semester) Even though I was very open with my friends at school, this was my first time home for a ‘long break’ and I wasn’t as open with my family. Me and my two female cousins went out for a day together in the city and then ended up at a bar where they were talking about the kind of guys they were into and my one cousin mentions that she’s into older guys and I didn’t say anything and then our other cousin went to the bathroom and I was like btw I’m gay and I only wanted to preface that bc when u said u were into older guys I was like legit same I know exactly what you mean. My other cousin came back from the bathroom and then we laughed about it, but they were the sweetest and most supportive I could’ve wanted. I don’t think I’d ever felt as close with them as I did in that moment. They asked if anyone else knew and I was like well my friends but that’s it and they said they wouldn’t tell anyone and I thanked them.

A few nights later I met my sister out at a bar for her birthday in the city. I was hanging out with her friends (who I knew just not on a real personal level) because she was dancing and making out with some guy. This is actually kinda funny. It was winter and the bar was hot so I tied my jacket around my waist (as I often do bc that’s just typically part of my look, kinda like a staple of mine tbh) and her friend is like “ryán why are you wearing that around your waist, go put it in the coat check” and I was like no thanks like I really don’t mind having it on my waist, I like the way it looks and I honestly don’t wanna pay and she’s like “you have to check it, any girl who walks in here and sees a guy with a jacket around his waist will not want to get with him” and I looked at her and laughed and was like “lol ok well that’s fine because I’m into guys anyway” and she was taken aback like “OH” and I was like lol r u surprised and she was like well your sister just never told me that and I said well idk why she would, like for one I’m not sure why that would be a topic of discussion between the two of you and for two I haven’t told her anyway. She and my sisters other gay friend practically forced me to tell her the entire night and I was like um ok. And then my sister got mad at me for telling them before her and made it all about herself and I was drunk crying running to the bathroom lol and she followed it up with SO MANY questions and was like you gotta tell mom and dad we talk about it all the time. And I was like 1. No I don’t, if they wanna know they can ask me I don’t care 2. That’s kinda fucked up that you guys talk about me and my sexuality all the time behind my back?? 3. If you just said u all know why do I have to tell you. There isn’t really more to the story there, it was her telling me to and me saying no.

4. It is the 2019th summer. Id thought many times about telling my parents I wanted to go to pride and just like ended up saying nothing. Fact of the matter was that I wasn’t proud and honestly even if I wanted to go I didn’t know who I’d go with. My parents are VERY religious and when I was younger I had heard my mom express worry about a girls mother after the girl had come out as a lesbian l o l. Years go by and my mom got me a pamphlet for the lgbt center mixed in with a bunch of other papers when I moved in my freshman dorm, said a lot of encouraging things to me like telling me “you can date anyone you want” and asking me about my love life (this kind of stuff happened between stages 1 and 2). Nothing was explicitly said but I think we both silently acknowledged it. She even asked about one of my gay friends bc I think she thought we mightve been dating (between stage 3 and 4) which we were not and never have hooked up or anything. Honestly I knew they’d be supportive and I knew they weren’t going to kick me out, I just didn’t know how they’d honestly and truly take it. And by the time that I didn’t give a fuck about how anybody “took” the “news” I was aware that they knew and subscribed to all the beliefs that I listed above. If they wanted to know so desperately they could ask me. At this point I wasn’t even trying to hide it. A guy kinda fucked me over right before school was over and I was talking to her on the phone and she was asking how I was and why I sounded meh and I just told her guys suck without trying to get into it. Anyhow picture this, straight pride has just been confirmed for August 2019. Gays are distressed everywhere. Can we not have one thing??? I share a post to my insta story stating something along the lines of “straight pride isn’t necessary and you should be happy you don’t need it. LGBT people need pride because we still don’t have equal rights and people get killed every day for being a part of this community and people get kicked out of their homes for loving someone, etc.” and I guess my mom saw it and was like that was an interesting post on your instagram and I was like lol ok thanks. (She had thought I didn’t think I was safe in my own home and that’s why I wasn’t coming out) And she’s like is there something you want to tell me? And I say is there something you want me to tell you? And she says only if you want to. And I say “what mom do you want me to tell you I’m gay? Like it’s not a secret. I know you know and everybody else knows.” We went on a walk and she said some highly questionable microaggressions but meant with overall support. At this point though like I already accepted myself so I could just roll my eyes and be like lol whatever you don’t get it.

Then my dad comes back and she calls him to the kitchen and is like I think you should tell him now. And i was like gurl what? This is so out of nowhere and so ridiculous. You’re really going to do this after we just had an hourlong discussion on why I didn’t feel the need to come out. And my dad comes in and is like what’s up and I say hey just so you know I’m gay, ok? And he says ok.

[izzyliker]

i think like.... some of this ‘fanfic isnt above criticism’ discourse fundamentally is built on some weird ideas and understandings of criticism, creative freedom, and variance in ppl reading the exact same thing. 

like: just because you dont like a specific thing about someones writing doesnt mean its objectively, concretely wrong, bad, or inappropriate. nobodys going to kill you or jail you or whatever for leaving a mean or unnecessarily blunt comment on someones fic, but it is kind of sad/funny to see people talk shit about writers for ‘not taking criticism’ as if their opinion is objective truth and not just.....their opinion.

like: i have had people tell me my writing is too abstract, or it doesnt make any sense, or that i use too many metaphors or whatever. thats their opinion! i have also had people say that me writing the way i do is dreamy/mesmerizing/whatever nice, sweet things they had to say about it. as a hobbyist writer and someone who ENJOYS writing that way i am not going to change it because someone didnt like it, and people being mad about that is... kind of funny to me? just dont read my fic then! i write six line long sentences and use five em dashes in a single paragraph because i like doing it. if you dont like reading that you dont have to read it!

there’s... of course room for gently calling people out for writing in -phobic and -ist stuff while obviously having no idea that it was -ist or -phobic (eg. having characters misgender a trans character and not warning in the tags, or referring to a trans character as their deadname and using the wrong pronouns until they transition [’x was a girl blah blah she liked blah blah then she suddenly realized shes a boy wow anyway now im getting to the actual story after misgendering my character for no reason. them being trans never comes up again’], or writing deeply bigoted stuff or otherwise inserting unfortunate tropes in writing) and im not going to say that it’s ~bullying~ someone to let someone know that it seems like their writing reflects their own, genuine bigoted beliefs or misconceptions, and a lot of time people will be mortified and thankful to hear that (and when they aren’t theyre usually either openly bigoted, or theyve had other people tell them otherwise and chosen to believe those people instead, which you can feel however you want about).

like: ive left a strongly worded comment on a fic before because it turned out to be completely untagged for the rape depicted in it (as in: no archive warnings apply - not even chose not to warn), and featured a twoc ‘’’’’’having sex with’’’’’’’ a trans guy, where the author was a white cis person who did not see anything wrong with the lack of tagging OR the damaging tropes used with zero self awareness. i dont think you can NEVER say ‘im trans/gay/bi/ace/a person of color/a person of this ethnicity and you don’t seem to be - did anyone beta read this, because you have depicted the character with my marginalized trait in a very stereotypical way, and idk if thats on purpose or not’ or anything similar. sometimes people who are racist or homophobic or biphobic or transphobic also write fic. sometimes a fic makes your spider senses tingle because of the way something bad is depicted in it. 

but like and especially re darkfic - 

when people say ‘you need to take criticism when people say your fic glorifies bad relationships’ i think... what people fail to take into account is that although sometimes people do in fact write narratives where they do not even realize theyre writing a shitty relationship (this is often made obvious by a complete lack of tagging or a flippant attitude about the actions of the characters rather than anything that happens in the work itself) sometimes when you read a fic and think ‘this obviously says that this relationship is good! and that you should read this and think the relationship is good!’ it’s not actually an objective, true criticism that the author needs to... idk...rectify? reflection is always good for yknow becoming a better writer and looking at possible issues re: how you see relationships or certain people or whatever (this isnt just writers or artists btw, this is also you as the reader or the consumer or the person, existing in the world), but sometimes it’s just a fic that either was triggering for you, or that didn’t fill the specific narrative need you had.

again: i have written unhealthy relationships. i like writing codependence, and relationships with bad boundaries, and relationships where people are in denial about how their relationship makes them feel. i have, ON THE SAME FICS, had people say they thought it was validating; or cathartic; or respectful; or realistic and kind and compassionate portrayal of those relationship AND other people say they were uncomfortable; that they thought the narrative not using the word abuse meant it wasnt meant to be abuse (despite the ‘unhealthy relationships’ tag); that they thought it was disrespectful to write two characters they liked in an unhealthy relationship. and theyre all allowed to have those opinions! sometimes someone’s writing just doesn’t spark joy. but just because you didn’t like a fic doesn’t mean the writer has failed. when a fic writer has multiple people say ‘i liked this; this felt real; it felt compassionate and respectful and i will come back and read it again’ and one person say ‘i think this is bad’ i don’t think its... evil of the writer to say ‘yknow, im sorry you didn’t like this fic, you might want to read x fic where the story has a happier ending instead,’ and not change or delete or otherwise do anything to that fic.

i dont know guys like... again, just because you didn't like something doesnt mean theres something intrinsically wrong with it. and a loooooot of posts here conflate ‘this person wrote a fic that uncritically used a bunch of tropes the author did not tag for and thus was not even aware of having used and i have left a comment saying that the implications of that are kinda fucked’ with ‘this person wrote a fic about an abusive relationship/sexual assault/whatever and it wasn’t written the way i want those topics to be written about, and i have left them a comment saying that they need to kill themselves for it.’ 

[squeiky]

Honestly papyrus and sans are the #1 deltarune teasers.

From the door... To papyruses little Easter "egg". Tp the gaster connections :/

(ps: papyrus is way more connected to gaster than sans is. )

Then the "dont forget" <- take it literally friends you seriously want to remember small tib bits in both games.

The sans wink in deltarune.. The fact that they seem...wary of the player. In fact, they talk directly to us. And even add sound effects! How kind.

Reminds me of lancers mp3. Its a cute sound effect.

Tbh, they remind me of those kids tv shows.

You know? Where they are talking someone and look directly at YOU, and go "can you find this?" Or "what should i do?" Or "what do you think?"

Like.. Elmo, or dora the exlporer. Or something.

I could go off on papyruses flying ability, or sans timestopping, time manipulating.. Just a bunch of things about time tbh. Or papyruses... Strange music in his room, or his apperent blasters, pr the fact that he looks similar to gaster....

(i messed with both gaster/mysteryman and papyruses sprite a bit. I just flipped papyrus's default face, ontop of gasters. I guess they are just 2 eggs. Beacuse they seriously have that egg shape apperance. So we have 2 eggy bois and i love it.)

Okay i dont want to go to much on papyruses frequent wall breaking which is like 24/7 and how he knows about alphys... Or the fact that she works in a laboratory... Or how the bone brothers barely know anything about the other, and how it was pointed out by the shopkeeper that she cant tell if they are related or not..

( someone said the shopkeeper has a sister soo..)

Or how similar sans is to lancer... Or how similar he is to literally everything in deltarune. Actually he's so connected to deltarune, you cant even see him die. He supposedly gets "tired" and runs away, exactly how with the nightners.

(Personally i dont think he died. He has an arrange of sound effects,( papyrus included) such as drums and what not.)

He bleeds like the nightners. According to lancer they have a blood bucket, and someone to clean up the "blood" (i think they do, i forgot their name) and how apperently know about blood to the extent of how it works, and know how to use it as a joke and not freak out. (I.e. That one kid and noelle) to the loint of having a janitor to clean it up. And sans is the only undertale character to bleed, and walk away. Seeing as monsters IMMEDIATELY dust after being brought to 0 hp. And not bleed to death, as sans does. Which sucks alot but oh well. the ICE-E crossword, that only exists in deltarune.. That sans has in undertale.

And the connects with papyrus is more undertale related/ gaster related than deltarune related.

So mabye i was wrong and sans is more of a hint for deltarune + lancer (from his bike, to prankster personailty, to clothes, to his ENTIRE HOME.)

(the castle is filled with those forever smiles that sans has. Which is funny cause that castle is in shambles and is obviously has a terrible king in charge, and its really depressing how lancer's dad was nice, but not anymore. But yeah KEEP SMILING YA SACK O POTATOES.)

(To the benches that sans has in the fundraiser)

OH OH OH ! AND THE FACT THAT PAPYRUS REFERS TO UNDERTALE AS "HIS GAME!" AND CONNECTION WITH TOBY FOX (and possibly the temmies) AND WITH GASTER POSSIBLY BEING APPART IN DELTARUNE THATS VERY VERY INTRESTING IS IT NOT?

I mean what do you think?

Though i dont understand the "you hear a trousle of bones" in deltarune. And sans says "my little brother"..

Like how old are you sans that it conerns me. You even befriended toriel, which personally sounds awsome.

(People draw kris as if he would hate that, but kris is such a prankster, he and sans would be besties like-)

Also how young exactly is papyrus here? Asriel is obviously younger than papyrus in undertale, by using him as a ruler, papyrus and sans shouldn't be so..... Young? Adult age atleast not..babybones.

Unless papyrus indeed does the trick that goner kid did, and just doesn't exist in deltarune, due to his connection with gaster and his connection to undertale.

Unless im wrong, and asriel was just born before papyrus and sans came to snowdin, which might mean he would be older but... UGH THIS IS CONFUSING BUT THERE SHOULDN'T BE BABYBONES PAPYRUS ANYWHERE BEACUSE EVERYONE IS THE RESPECTIVE AGE OF UNDERTALE, INCLUDING ASRIEL AS DUE TO HIS CONSTANT RESETS HE'S PROBABLY ALOT OLDER THAN WE REALISE!!!!!!!!

And that papyrus cannot be connected to sans, unless toby says so.

Otherwise papyrus cant exist in deltarune, and sans has another brother or something.

Also undertale papyrus and sans are alot.more diffrent than you realise.

Actually their roles where reversed at a time! Cool huh?

Papyrus is seen being pretty depressed, while somewhere, i cant remeber where, but it is said that sans wans't always this lazy.

Which means....

ROLE REVERSION!!! Cool right?

Before you OFFICALLY MEET papyrus and sans, sans is constantly trying to cheer papyrus up with jokes

(terrible pun are normally a thing of inexperience. Unless on purpose. But he has a joke book. Most likely papyrus's book beacuse of the constant puns papyrus makes, that are really good! Papyrus is the only one who has a book shelf, so probably the quatum physics is his too. As he needs SOMETHING FOR THAT FREAKING BRIDGE. And why would you need a book if you already know all the jokes? :/ also im pretty sure either he recites it for toriel (which hes not aware is toriel) or its for papyrus. Either one makes sense. Even both)

Anyways sans was alot more hopeful and papyrus was a lot LESS hopefull. Only by meeting you, the PLAYER err... Human! He regains his hope back!

Sans is also homesick. Undertale isn't his home, he doesn't feel happy with going to the surface either.

Deltarune is the only place he truely seems at home, happy, joyfull. And even owns a...

Bar!! :DDD probably got handed it thx to grillby!

And has a freind named alphys who is just as nerdy as she was before. But now a nerdy teacher~

(WHICH CAN RELATE! I HAVE SO MANY NERDY TEACHERS IN MY SCHOOL LMAO ITS AWSOME, I GET TO TALK ABOUT ANIME LIKE-)

And not some depressed scientist with an anxiety and peer pressure.

Like no wonder he's homesick.

No wonder papyrus feels a bit "down lately." He gets the sucky version.

I guess when your suck in a strange place, a different home you lose alot of hope, rather than gain some.

Or hp. What ever you want to say. Hp= HoPe ? Sure why not i guess.

I mean, im trying to write my goddamn comic, and its gonna be hard to keep all my notes conistent.

Cause just rewatched their whole introduction and im like-

GODDAMIT PAPYRUS DO YOU NEED A HUG? FRISK MOVE, MAKE THIS GUY HAPPY. YES! THAT CONVERSATION ALSO FILLS ME WITH DETERMINATIOM! I CANT BELIEVE ITS CALLED THE "BOX ROAD" THANKS TO 1 FRICKING BOX.

YES SANS CHEER UP YOUR SUPPOSED BROTHER WITH DESPERATE JOKES AND FUNNY COMEDY AND POSSIBLE SOUND EFFECTS.

YES PAPYRUS SMILE, YES PAPYRUS GET MAD AND MARCH OFF LAUGHING HAPPILY WITH THAT ONE BACKBONE PUN.

PAPYRUS NO DONT GO BACK TO BEING Sad- goddammit he left my screen AND HES BAck... Aww... :(

What? Yes sans? He's been feeling down lately? Seeing me could cheer him up?

AWWWWwWwWWWwWwww thats so SWEEETTTTT

THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME DIRECTLY LIKE YOU SHOULD BTW. AS IM NOT FRISK, I AM A REAL HUMAN, USING FRISK AS A VESSEL AS I TOWER FROM ABOVE. AND YES I DO SEE YOUR FACE PAPYRUS FROM THE DIALOUGE BOX AND YOU LOOK AMAZING.

*Papyrus realises he doesn't have ears

[Facepalms]

*theres.just a bunch of makeup and sludge on the floor.

[Covers face]

*why does he even carry that?

[Peaks a little and whispers]

"Its always important to carry makeup on. You never know when you need it. Like now."

*papyrus nods his head thoughfully.

[bigskydreaming]

As much as I hate the Ric Grayson storyline, the general reactions to it are pretty on point for how people usually react to Dick....with the irony being that the whole POINT of this storyline is at the moment, he ISN’T Dick. He literally thinks of himself as a different person a lot of the time.

But notice how many of the negative reactions are towards Dick himself - when again, he kinda doesn’t really even exist right now, lmao - because Ric didn’t react to his amnesia the way they expected or wanted. With this being true of both characters in universe and fans outside of it. The number of times in the past year that I’ve seen a post or a fic about that storyline that basically condemns Ric because of how he’s hurting his family by staying away from them, insisting they stay away, that he doesn’t care that he’s hurting them, that he’s still Dick deep down, so how can he just not care about these people who try and tell them they’re his family and they love him, etc.

The ultimate takeaway in almost every variation is that basically, people are mad because Ric’s reactions don’t prioritize the Batfamily, or even factor them in at all. That he’s isolated himself by his own choice, rather than even try to get to know them, let them get to know this new him.

But the problem is....

RIC GRAYSON DOESN’T OWE THESE PEOPLE ANYTHING!

They’re complete strangers to him, when they introduce themselves. He doesn’t remember them. All those connections they supposedly have with him, that they feel so strongly about...he doesn’t feel those connections because as far as he’s consciously aware, he never made them.

Like....just because you go up to a random stranger on the street and tell them hey, you don’t remember me or have any idea who the hell I am or what kind of person I am at all, but we’re family even in spite of that all being true, and like, that matters, so please come home with me, everyone really wants to see you and your siblings have really been worried about you, it’d be a huge relief for them to actually see you with their own eyes....

THAT DOESN’T MAKE THAT STRANGER OBLIGATED TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS.

In fact, the more you press on the subject, the more they’re likely to push back against it? Even if its true, that’s like..a HUGE thing for people to wrap their minds around. Like, think of how upsetting it can be for a lot of people to find out later in life that they were actually adopted....even though they love their adopted parents and have like, good relationships all around and are HAPPY other than that revelation - because its just about like....when something you’ve believed to be true for so long that you take it for granted pretty much, just like turns out to not be true all along, that can really fuck with people before they get a handle on it....because if THAT isn’t true, turns out they couldn’t count on what they believed to be reality on that front....what else that they take for granted might not be true either? Where does it end?

So for you to like just wake up one day and find out that its years later than it should be as far as you know, you’re older than you remember being, you were  apparently a fucking SUPERHERO, like...what are you even supposed to do with THAT tidbit after its dropped in your lap, like are you supposed to nod and go yeah, that makes sense, sounds about right...and oh yeah, btw, your parents are dead and have been for years but you have this new family now instead, and they all have years and years of history with you that you can’t remember and might not ever, and also because of all that, they each have all these emotions regarding you based on stuff the guy with your face did when interacting with them before, the guy they still see when they look at you because again, you have the same goddamn face....but no matter how much they remind themselves YOU don’t remember the things they love you for and are holding a grudge against you for or made them feel special or was something you used to really like when they did for you.....

What are the chances, realistically speaking, that they’re ALWAYS going to remember to keep that awareness front and center every time they interact with you, that at times they’re not gonna be pissed at you because you do one tiny little thing that doesn’t even register with you as something that would upset them but oh yeah it actually reminds them of this HUGE FUCKING FIGHT you had with them about that very thing and so they’re kinda pissed at you for a couple days even if they’re trying not to show it, they can’t exactly be mad at you for something YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER DOING so how can it possibly be to you like its something YOU did, the way it is to them....and stuff like that is going to be happening CONSTANTLY, because nobody can be on top of everything 24/7 and on their A game constantly and not ever slipping up or into old habits the second they get comfortable...and even if they CAN, having to be careful of everything they say or do around you so they dont hold things against you that you dont remember or expect things of you that you have no idea you’re expected to do, and on and on...that’d be stressful as HELL and it would inevitably take a toll, and guess what happens then? 

Resentment starts to build, they start to get bitter that they to constantly be so careful, that they can’t just have their brother back or you can’t just ‘snap out of it,’ like hasnt it been long enough - it doesn’t matter that these things aren’t rational, because none of us are ever ALWAYS rational people, and sooner or later, there’s gonna be drama and YOU’RE going to be the one to take the brunt of it.

After all, llook how much drama there already is just because you had the nerve to tell a bunch of total strangers that hey, turns out I just got shot in the head and woke up missing a decade of world events and personal history and EVERYTHING ELSE, can you all just back the hell off until *I* even have a chance to figure out who the hell I even am right now, because until I know that, I cant even possibly be expected to be able to tell you who I am and thus how I’m different from that guy you all are not at all subtle about wishing was here in place of me, a person who also happens to feel pretty strongly about the fact that uh fuck you, I have a right to be here, living MY life, maybe I don’t want to constantly hang out with ppl knowing they’d all trade me in a second for some other guy who basically is just as much of a stranger to me. 

Like, the only way Ric was able to get them to slow down and keep things to what HE was comfortable with until he was ready to handle more....information, expectations, hope, pressure, PEOPLE....was when he finally got fed up and told them all to just stay away, because what was a pretty reasonable request in his eyes, that hey maybe we take this at my pace since Im the one here who has to play catch up with the entire world...like, he apparently couldn’t even get them to stick to that, given the few interactions we’ve seen with Babs, for instance, without them inevitably trying to steer their conversations back in directions that led to where they wanted Ric/Dick to ultimately end up...whereas Ric was literally just trying to figure out where he even WANTED to end up, what that even looked like to him.

LOL and people are mad about this, because he’s not doing what they think Dick Grayson SHOULD do, he’s not acting the way they WANT Dick Grayson to act, EXPECT him to act....

even though he keeps reminding people he’s not Dick Grayson and its not fair to expect him to be or get pissed at him for acting how he wants instead of how some total stranger he doesn’t remember being used to act.

Its kinda how I’m always saying, like the biggest issue underlying just about every problem Dick’s ever faced, usually without much of a support system ever actually kicking in....is people expecting more of him than anyone has a right to expect, and rarely if ever offering the same in return. And how this is always most evident when he’s hurt or suffering, because the people around him constantly make HIS traumas and tragedies and crises more about THEM instead, which makes it impossible for him to ACTUALLY get any support, or even look out for HIMSELF, so long as they’re demanding attention for the reactions they’re having to....his amnesia. His reset button, his dramatic, traumatic upheaval of everything he knew and trusted to be reality, that he took for granted and now can’t feel safe taking anything for granted.

Cuz I mean look at the reactions from the Batfamily. Look at the reactions from Batfandom. All of that is holding true in the Ric Grayson storyline, is happening in reaction to it....

And the guy in question doesn’t have a single memory of being Dick Grayson, doesn’t FEEL like the person they expect him to be and thus just wishes people would leave him alone so he can just BE, without all this pressure and responsibilities and obligations that it feels like these people are just barely holding back any time they’re around him and are really just ITCHING for him to hurry up and BE Dick Grayson again so they can heap all that pressure and responsibility and obligation on him again. Like normal. Like the way its supposed to be.

LOL Dick Grayson can’t get a moment’s peace from what everyone else thinks he owes them or what he should be doing....even by literally peacing out of existence for now.

[01010010-posts]

— me, me and nothing else.

requests: Could I ask for HC’s on how the RK’s would react to a female s/o who presents them self as masculine (clothes, hair, ext) but still identify as female

I'm so in love with your writing!! How would the android bois react to having a short s/o who is fearless and runs head first into dangerous situations and loves to playfully refer to herself as "the man"? idk it just seems like a funny scenario to me Haha

You can ignore this if you like but can i request the rks with a s/o that gets into a pretty decent amount of brawls? or at least is really really good at hand to hand combat? thanks a lot if so!! no worries if not!!! love your work btw! <3

maybe the rks and a reader whos always covered in bruises and bandages cause theyre always getting into fist fights or what not? i have a love for brawl-y readers

obviously this wouldnt be possible in canon BUT if youre down could i get the rks reacting to their s/o being really really strong? like kratos-flipping-a-temple-strong?

sorry, but can you do hcs for 900? basically, the s/o is very competitive and tries to be better at sports than 900 even though he is an android. i think it'd be cool.

ah yes, the usual self-indulgent shit ™ because im old enough for it

Connor:

• starts to adore social events • partly because of his programs and his nature • but mostly because whenever he sees you with a button-down shirt and a tie his heart skips a beat • how the fuck can you be so charming with masculine clothes HE CAN’T he doesn’t compute!!! • you must know magic to look so wickedly good • will fight anyone who says something negative about you • no one should feel the need to criticize you over stupid customs like a code dress • he really doesn’t get them, not only because he’s an android • but ahh it’s obvious that it’s not necessary for him to be so protective • gosh you’re tiny but totally capable of handling matters on your own • deep down he’s aware BUT still you’re his baby!! he doesn’t want bad things to happen to you • people sometimes wonder why he’s full of medicines, disinfectant, band-aids • is he a robot or a first-aid kit? • and he can’t help sigh and roll his eyes • why do they even need to ask? he needs them for his man • you’re a little rascal and?? he’s unable to be mad at you for long • THIS robot is whipped let me tell ya • yes don’t worry he will cut your hair whenever it grows too much • let him download a couple of softwares and he’s ready • if you want to dye them just say so he’ll have tons of fun!!

RK900:

• patience thin as your hair’s length • NO you can’t NO NO NO PLEASE NO GOD NO PLEASE UGH • this is your last pack of band-aids, use them wisely he won’t buy you any more • who is he kidding, he has a whole pharmacy in his pockets • yes, hello kitty girly plasters as a punishment since you won’t behave • too bad he played himself they’re too cute on you • fuck he’s totally sold for the bruised tomboy look what have you done to him • “wanna bet” • “what” • “i can beat you at wrestling” • “I’m,,,, literally double your size, double your weight and an android” • “yeah that’s why i’ll give myself a handicap, so that i don’t hurt you” • he’s crying sm • should he feel proud? should he feel concerned? surprised? aroused??? WHICH IS IT • ok it’s def a mix of everything above because wow did? you?? just? pin him??? • FINE you’re strong he admits that • but you’re still not allowed to get into fights!! • he will fucking pick you up and get you safely home • he knows you can defend yourself but not gonna risk it • super weirded out by how much force can be in such tiny body but ugh that’s his jam allright • “can you stop stealing my clothes” • never stop doing it he’s annoyed bc he’s too turned on by it • “but they’re comfy” • oversized to the max but nvm! • “but you could put on something more adapt to your shape?” • “my shape is that of the man of this relationship” • and you say it so casually he’s,,,, • “plus, they smell like you” • he might be blushing but you don’t pay attention to that, too focused on kissing his pretty face • he breaks the kiss and dreamily looks at you • “you’re the little man of the relationship in any case” • can you fucking just jdkldjdlkj • “and you’re the big one? fair. we’re a happy gay couple now.” 

RK800-60:

• positively encouraging you!! • from exercising with you and letting you spar with him • to the point of giggling when you call yourself ‘the man’ • he always reply by naming himself ‘the wife’ • which makes people p perplexed but makes you two laugh • of course it’s shopping and hairdresser together • i mean he doesn’t have any business there, he only sits waiting for you • yeah don’t worry you can totally engage in physical fights • humans can be repaired anyway • fuck no that’s androids he got confused for a second • ABORT MISSION PLEASE DON’T GET HURT • thank god you’re short he can still restrain you with a firm embrace • while you’re cursing and he’s holding you his head is able to process a single thought • ‘is this what having a feisty cat feels like’ • don’t,,,, make it difficult ok you gained a good hug out of it • he puts band-aids on himself too so you match • they look cool on you they should have the same effect on him • WRONG • they’re extra cute on him wtf you can’t stop smooching that dorky mug

[dionysins]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so today i woke up to someone i used to know basically calling me a bunch of names. so let me clear up a few things for you since this is a lot of accusing and you clearly are keeping track of me and every single one of my friends, those you haven’t even talked to before:

1. you have a lot of ppl you hurt on tumblr and they knew when you came back. unfortunately one of those people reached out to me and pointed out you were back contrary to what you may like to believe. 

2. beth was a toxic ass person and she has acknowledged this & said she’s past it so not sure what you’re trying to prove. also, you said im lying about me not wanting to be friends with you because of beth but how is that a lie? you knew every detail of what beth said about me and still befriended her so i naturally had to cut off ties. it’s not just you, i cut off ties with everyone who befriended beth in that time period. you think it’s wrong for someone to cut off people out of their lives if they’re not making them feel welcomed or heard? o...kay.

3. you did steal from me. and admitted it and just said “im not gonna change it.” you genuinely took a character i wrote then put what ive created into your rp. how is that not theft?

4. you know when i first realized you were toxic was when you accused m. (someone who has always been there for me btw, even through the single most traumatic event of my real life) of stealing from you just for reblogging something from an inspo blog for an old rp you ran, then lied to h. about it. you befriended someone that was pretty abusive towards me for awhile. you also have claimed on multiple occasions that a white person is a person of color to justify your choices. so yeah, i think i actually had ample reason to stop communicating with you. but if you want to claim we had “no reason” to cut you out, you are honestly lying to yourself.

5. i never unfriended u on fb? you blocked me & at that point i was like oh she has no interest in being friends w me anymore. also ur THAT MAD about us not being fb friends???? omg. you claim that i said you were stalking for looking at my fb page but there is...no way to tell someone is looking at your fb page so i’m actually so confused about this point.

6. i actually did try to reach out to you in private via my character blog if i remember correctly because we had each other blocked, specifically in regards to the situation with m. that conversation didn’t end with a real solution but for you to say i just “cut you out” without trying to speak to you is a blatant fucking LIE. i have DEFENDED your ass to some people especially when you were in my rp and i genuinely thought you were my friend until you started hurting the people around me. at first i didn’t even know if i should believe m but i also knew she wasn’t lying and boy when i saw the proof! it is completely unreasonable for you to lie about this. i’m not even sure why you’re doing it. because there may have been moments where i hurt you without meaning to, and in that case i apologize, but for you to sit there and accuse me of never giving a shit about you is you putting words in my gd mouth and you KNOW it’s not true - otherwise you would’ve stayed for an actual conversation instead of insulting me and running. 

7. icb i have to bother clarifying this but i left my ALIAS on tumblr - it’s creepy that you know this given how upset you seem that people have found you again! i have all of 7 followers here so it’s so fucking creepy that you managed to track me down all on your own, after supposedly blocking me. i left my alias bc im in the ent. industry rn and didn’t want people to track my real name down & also bc i wanted to leave that blog and its content behind. i’ve never said i’m leaving tumblr forever, just that i’m deleting that blog.

8. finally, i have never once claimed to be a better person than beth, so you deciding to come and verbally attack me by making that comparison is odd. beth probably is a better person than me in many aspects as are a lot of other humans bc ive certainly said some fucked up shit in anger and will gladly own up to all of it but this certainly shows she’s a lot more mature than you. at least she owned up to where she messed up but ive never seen you admit one single thing or even apologize. ive never seen her - or anyone else but you for that matter - slide into IMs to verbally harass someone then run away as you have today.

the only thing i have called you is toxic. you have called me a freak, not normal, obsessed, a liar, and a bad person all because i cut you out of my life for what i felt were valid reasons at the time. i’m allowed to discuss shit on my blog that only my friends know about. literally. your behavior, frankly, is scary.

i’m glad you decided to, um, “cowboy the fuck up” but next time try to have actual facts. my friends or myself have never tried to cut you down this way, by literally sending a fucking essay to attack someone, to call them “a freak” when you literally know 0 things about my life. not even where i live, what i do, or my personality. so really, you showed everyone that you’re capable of that kind of viciousness and resentment. 

if you read this - which i know you will - im more than willing to talk privately and apologize for my wrongs, if you’re willing to talk about facts and also own up to your shit. discord is at soj#3694. but coming in hurling insults at someone then not giving them a way to respond is not the way to go.

edit: also calling someone, esp someone with a history of mental illness that you are aware of, a “freak” right off the bat and implying they are not “normal” is ableist as fuck and apart from this strange discourse i found that genuinely disturbing. i hope you stop using that kind of damaging language in the future.