#im not ready to see them live

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

[a-lonely-tatertot]

The qsmp fucks me up everytime i think ab it to hard honestly like these people (not just ccs like fans too!!) separated by such a large language barrier brought together by such an ambitious but like normal idea that a guy had has now created this group of people who are meeting up in fucking paris and talking about their fucking rp eggs like. This is such an insane community and i dont think ill ever stop being impressed by how much work and creativity that these players, admins and quackity have put into this like god this is so cool

[tzimtzum]

princess kakyuu is not rocking with transgender tuesday :/

[gunsatthaphan]

dangerous romance - coming august 18th

[britneyshakespeare]

walkable city

[thevampirearchive]

There’s something I've been meaning to say but I haven't had the words till now. There is something that deeply upsets me about witnessing stories where villains, who are literal killers, fall in love and somehow become good or act outside of what is expected from them. I love love, love is beautfiul, it is powerful and it can truly change a lot. But to sit, and write a killer suddenly go "actually, this one can stay because I am in love for the first time" is such a weird concept to me. Is this happening because as a sociaty we're trying to convince ourselves that deeply disturbed people can be cured by the power of love? That if they just find the right person, they would stop the masacer? or at least no longer feel the need to kill how they were or at least let their person live? And I am not mad at the love, I do belive anyone can fall deeply in love, but my issue is with how it ends. I want to witness the unthinkable — I want to see is exactly what we expect but hoped won't happen, happening. A gut wrenching truth that stays true to who we have been witnessing, despite the "I can change them" dance. And perhaps people hate this idea because they want to belive that anyone can change if only they meet the right one, or that we can change the monsters in our lives with affection, but trust most likly is that they cannot be changed. And I can understand that to some this is then seen as an illusion. "oh then this was never true love", why can the two not exist? Do we not hurt those we love? Maybe not kill them, but someone elses hurt could feel like a small death to me, and vice versa.

Examples, so that you are not confused as to what I am reffering too;

Killing Eve; I stopped watching when Villanelle was shown shooting Eve. It felt true to her character, even if it hurt. She is a killer, we knew that and so did Eve. Regardless of her love, that was what was always going to happen so why were we given additional seaons of this fanatsy of a declawed Villanelle?

Hannibal; It should have ended with the death of Will, and possibly Hannibal consuming him. Didn't Hannibal say that the consumption of Will would somehow join them in a deeper way?Something so disturbing that only could make sense to a serial killing-cannibal. And I would have watched with wide eyes, and gone to sleep staring at the ceiling.

Interveiw With The Vampire; Louis' death in the hand of a Lestat would have made sense, and despite his dramatics, Lestat would have not committed suicide but instead burried himself in deep regret untill he was too numb to his own feelings that he could return to the world of the living. He would have never forgotten Louis, nor what he did, but he would have moved on beause Lestat is not a good person. He's deeply disturbed and Louis knew this. I don't even aknoclege that beatdown episode because Lestat may be a killer, but he's a drama queen first and formost. Louis' death would have been poetic, beautiful and grusom like a greek tragedy without an audiance.

Bonus - Twilight; I could not end without adding my own favorite, and despite this path never being teased to the audiance the same way the other's were, I would have loved the book simply ending because Edward did as he said he would - drained Bella like a Caprisun on a hot summer day. Because what is love agaisnt animalistic urgase (I understand why it is much hotter that he is simply so retsrained and devoted that he resists her, but I'd pay good money for an AU)

At the end of it all, I think want I want is for sociaty to get over the idea that a good woman, love or any form of kindness can change who some people are. Love can do many things - look at crimes of passion! And to some extend I belive that these villain's love were true, possibly not the way we imagine them - which is less so "I love you too" and more so, "wow, finally someone I can manipulate and obsess over. Someone who I can mold, someone who is alone in the world like me" only to realize that is not true.

So why do we make love into what it isnt? Even when the scene is set for us to be shown the truth, writers and the audiance always make the plot lean towards whatever fits so that we can have that "happy ending".

Honorable mentions;

God should have killed Lucifer, I know the bible and christianity is not technically fiction for all, but the idea that he is forgivin but lets the biggest meanness HE CREATED terrorize everybody is evil. Take him out or let somebody else do it homie.

[piningpercussionist]

Template by @juni38

Im going to be completely frank with you all... and admit that I read these options and wasn't sure how to take this chart,,, so uh. Under the cut is Another Version. I'd apologize but I've given you the option to keep scrolling ¯\_(･･)_/¯

(If you notice characters missing on Kim's side, I probably figured she doesn't know who they are lol)

For the record,,, if they *wanted* me to pull their hair-- *is shot several times before I can continue*

Uhh Matthew is here because I have been converted fully on he/him or enby lesbian Matthew I think. He lives in my brain rent free now, very gender. I'd pull his hair but also I think he mostly just deserves to have it played with nicely.

And Scott's here because 1) I enjoy trans Scott, 2) Kim Pine Brain Rot possibly, 3) idk he's like,, the exception. God damnit, I've fallen for the inexplicable Scott Pilgrim Effect. What the fuck--

I did think about doing this chart like everyone was actually applicable to my tastes, but even if they were I think the ones I didn't put up would have to fall on the caress side bc I just don't feel that way abt them lol.

Again, not to say that's the case for the gals over on that side,,, I just think I would want to be gentle w them shxkdjsdhbd with the exception for Lynette who probably deserves to have her hair pulled, but again I fear she would Hurt Me,,, but maybe in a fun way,,,

Anyway No One Look At Me....

(,, also,,, Ramona is so far over bc I think she would enjoy it,, otherwise she'd be closer to Kim in that section. Same thing w Roxie)

If anyone actually looks at this version, I'm not opposed to doing a version like this for Kim btw! Just ask for it so I feel like I'm not just Dropping This and scurrying away

[taiyami]

Speaking of kitty cats I've finally bitched and moaned enough to my parents that now they're going to let me take MY senior cat home with me maybe sometime next week <3 <3 <3

[good-beanswrites]

Can I request "this didnt turn out like I intended" with shidou, es, and amane?

Aw yeah!! Thank you so much for the request -- I ended up giving the line to Es but honestly all three of them could have said it, it was perfect 👀 I pictured this before the T2 interrogations, with Es being fairly quiet about their guilt towards everything that happened. Though Shidou appears a bit less, I hope I could convey that he and Es share a lot of thoughts, interestingly.

Es would never get accustomed to the screaming. 

They’d heard a few anguished cries from the prisoner’s videos. They’d gotten a few agitated shouts when the first trial verdicts were announced. But nothing could have prepared them for the way the prison halls echoed now. Whether the prisoners poured out their sorrows, anguish, or agony at recent injuries, Es didn’t think they needed Milgram’s power to hear the true sounds of their heart. 

Es wished they’d just stop already. They knew it was selfish to hope for. They knew it stemmed from their own guilt. That didn’t make them wish for it any less.

The current bout of cries was coming from Shidou’s cell. Es had paused just before passing, trying to bury a wince as they listened to Fuuta struggle with treatment.

Amane approached from the other side. She glared at the cell, though Es knew it wasn’t the screaming that was bothering her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but they said in a hushed voice, “hey, I don’t need you giving Shidou any trouble. I know you disapprove, but I stand by this. I’m the one who told Shidou to check on Fuuta and Mahiru. I’m going to make sure they’re cared for.”

Amane studied them with her bright, unsettling gaze. “Why?” Her voice came out as strangely even as always. She was one of the few Es hadn’t heard any kind of shout from. “If something is destined to happen, who are you to change its course? Do you really believe you are the same as God, having that much control over the lives of others?”

“Not at all.” Es didn’t fight her. They weren’t here to change her heart, only read it. Still, they wondered if they could convince her to soften a bit without denouncing her beliefs. “The thing is, I’m not affecting their fate.”

“Then what do you call this?”

“Putting things back the way they should be.”

Es had tried to stand by their actions. They’d put on a tough face in front of the injured prisoners. They could not show weakness. As their warden, they couldn’t show any uncertainty, whatsoever. After all, the only thing worse than nearly getting killed was finding out you nearly got killed because of a child’s mistake. So they would keep this act up. They would assure everyone that this was still going according to plan. 

The way Amane looked at them, she already knew it wasn’t.

So, they figured it wouldn’t hurt to speak a little more openly now. Maybe it would even help explain Amane’s verdict. That certainly hadn’t gone as planned, either. “I wrongfully changed their lives when I let them get hurt. I saw that Kotoko had the capability for something like this, and I ignored it in the name of forgiveness. Now I need to fix the harm I’ve caused.”

“You haven’t caused any harm.”

Fuuta howled from inside.

Amane turned her gaze away. “That was still an outside force. You had no control over Kotoko’s actions. You and Shidou have control now.”

“I did have control over Kotoko, though. I knew my choices would have consequences. This is my fault.”

It felt good to say it out loud. Maybe not 'good.' It was a relief.

“And if I may venture to speak for Shidou…” That man was a mystery, but Es had put a few pieces together, at least. “It seems… he also took some lives off of their intended course. This is his way of fixing that. Right now, this is all we can do to make up for our decisions of the past. Isn’t that acceptable?”

She went to answer, but some shuffling from the cell cut her off. Shidou emerged, his expression changing ever so slightly upon finding the two just outside. Fuuta scowled on his way out, but said nothing. 

As the pair stood face to face, Amane’s eyes lit with fiery fury. Shidou met her with a harsh coldness.

“I wasn’t expecting you two,” he said simply. He was one of the others Es had yet to hear with a raised voice. Their two quietest prisoners, locked in such an intense struggle. That had certainly been an unexpected turn. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” Es lied. “We just stopped to talk for a moment.”

“Oh? What about?” Shidou folded his hands together. His gloves were covered in blood, they noticed. 

“Just that… this…” they waved a gloved hand in a general gesture, “didn’t work out as I intended.”

Shidou offered them a smile. It was one without any warmth, but that didn’t make it any less genuine.

“Mmm. It never does.”

[that-gay-jedi]

Please watch and enjoy this video regardless of whether you like/engage with cowboy iconography at all bc it's got something for everyone.

Also addresses uncomfortable truths about race and colonialism in the wild west mythos in a context that made my brain do a little lightbulb pop to like... the ways in which care jobs, professional cleaning, fast food, retail, and call center work fill a similar niche today, in the sense that many PoC find employment there for the same reason many LGBTQ+ people do and both groups experience a gooey mix of (relative) opportunity and blatant exploitation therein.

[pepprs]

ok. moving out update. today i:

talked to my beloved ex supervisor / mentor (<- SCARY!!!!!) to ask her about her experiences living by herself esp as a short woman (which is not a big deal except for how it is + how my parents think it is) and get her advice abt how to navigate that experience psychologically and practically. i asked her if we could talk abt this very impulsively on thursday after not having the courage to do it for almost a year btw (<- BRAVE!!!!!!!!) and i was still too scared / embarrassed to ask her some stuff abt safety / self defense lol but it mostly went really well!

started making a budget and determined that a) i may be getting overpaid somehow (😳) b) i may be getting double or even triple charged for my health and life insurance (😒) so now i need to call hr on monday and figure all of that out. and also c) i suck at math but we knew that. but i forced myself to figure out what i did wrong so that’s an achievement

made my first ever student loan payment 😀🔫

booked a tour of one apartment and attempted to book a tour of another (the same place i was looking at in may) but their website was glitching out and then they didn’t answer when i called to schedule it over the phone which. hm. 😒 but yeah the tour(s) will happen mid week next week and im going to ride the shuttle to the apartment complex(es) and back to campus to see what that’s like too!

posted on local subr*ddit asking for recommendations for those two apartments + other places in the area. haven’t gotten anything back bc i just made the post but 😎👍

read a bunch of old journal entries from 2021 to remind myself of what it was like to move onto campus and how i pushed through my family’s hurt and disapproval to live the way i needed to. haven’t finished reading it all yet but i will tomorrow (while also doing my stupid homework 🙄)

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Bahrain Grand Prix - Free Practice 1 - Felipe Drugovich & Stoffel Vandoorne

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

[felinelord-bowbeforemepeasant]

Okay we need to stop talking about dazai for a moment and start talking more about sigma (yes I know dazai death shock you but it isn't confirmed that he is dead yet and it maybe the same trick that asagiri pull in chapter 101)

Just look at this

HE SAID "this very may be the final decision I make in my life" CAUSE HE KNOW THAT WHEN HE TOUCH FYODOR HE WILL OR MAYBE DIE AND POOR BABY HAND WAS SHAKING TOO

AND THE WAY HE SAY HE NEED TO TELL THE AGENCY HE HASN'T OFFICIALLY JOIN THEM YET AND HE ALREADY SAY HE HAVE TO TELL THEM AHHHHHHHHHHH

we need to give more credit for sigma he is so precious

( asagiri you better let him join the agency after this)

[languri]

I cant afford therapy so I decide to make an s/i oc just to make myself happy 🥲 i can finally daydream in peace

[get-more-bald]

the thing about X6 is that he's essentially a slave given to the Sole Survivor by the Institute. and I think that the fandom's treatment of him would be different if the game addressed it or even just said it