#im on my worst behavior | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sturniolo-rat-main · 2 months

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In middle school i heard someone say “you’re not a problem you’re a privilege” and i made that my entire personality so much so that i am now in fact a problem

#i am the problem #ego #im sorry guys #im on my worst behavior

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sea-buns · 8 months

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wow... what a season. it feels weird to say that this little 6-episode side quest, in all of the 19 seasons of d20, is one of my favorites they've ever done but it just is. it had all the stakes and humor and drama that you could possibly want, all balanced with an incredible cast of players. the table chemistry was excellent, the characters were so perfectly themselves, the TROPES were OFF THE CHARTS!

i can't quite remember the last time i finished something and ached so sharply for there to be more. i just know I'm gonna be thinking about this one for a long time

#i didnt delay watching the ep like i normally would so i feel like ill end up delaying making posts about it instead lol #i dont WANT to. i have lots of thoughts id like to share. but also once i get started putting them to words im gonna get WAY off track.#lots of revising will need to be done.#the adhd is strong with this one.#v excited to continue collecting cool art and fanfics tho. ever since trw ive been on the verge of picking up writing again #and i fear the worst for my already terribly hectic behaviors when it comes to hyperfixation consumption #dimension 20 #d20 #mentopolis

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groenendaze · 6 months

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they were frosty this morning

#and STUPID #dogs who go in water when it’s 27F outside get cold! who knew!#finch #nettle #my dogs #the were on their absolute worst behavior today #especially finch who literally. swallowed a used condom right in front of us #im 🔪

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lovedazai · 2 months

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outlining (!!) my next big dazai fic 👩🏻‍💻

#giggling into my laptop im combining my three favs !!#dazai + beach + murder mystery = <3 #i feel like im getting more complex fic ideas n im so so so so excited #i want to push myself !! (•̀ᴗ•́)و #i havent decided on a title yet but once i do i’ll add it into my wip list !!#theres a new fedya & chuu fic there btw hehe #gonna attempt to finish worst behavior tonight too :< ty for being patient w me ab that one !!

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springsteens · 6 months

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I'm kind of tired of seeing posts about loneliness being caused by sitting alone in your room or not going out on daily walks because I never feel more lonely than in the middle of the crowd, when I am surrounded by all the "normal" people that look at me the weird way, that could have been my friends or lovers if only I was more like them. When I don't see them, I don't even think of such things and they remind me of all these things. When I'm alone I have the best company – me.

#i start feeling the worst when i leave the house and its not social anxiety i used to think so but no i dont mind talking to people like ofc #it is stressful but i can even talk to strangers when i have to and such things and i quite enjoy it sometimes #so its not social anxiety im just not a part of humanity sorry #i feel so out of place like im behind a glass wall and like im copying normal people's behaviors #i even get stressed about the way i sit on the tram... do i look normal do people stare at me do i sit straight do i sit like a boy #should i close my legs should i move a little do i look like an alien? lmao i hate overthinking every singe detail #of my performance and i hate that it is a performance to me #posted by me

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abyssin · 9 months

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gentle reminder to the fandom that childe may arguably one of the strongest in physical power amongst the harbingers (ʘᴗʘ✿)

#OOOHH IM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING THAT STRENGTH ANALYSIS ONCE IM BACK ON PC #im talking purely on raw strength on this bte #there are different types of strength e.g. intellect & strategy #childe's worst fuckin flaw is that he's impulsive #(moreso than usual it seems with his behavior in fontaine)#UGH IM SO NERFED ON MOBILE RN BUT LOOK FORWARD TO IT!!#him getting flicked by neuvi doesnt mean he's weak!!#tbh my takeaway of it is that neuvi's very strong #OOC. MOBILE #DELETE.#genshin spoilers /

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mothslimes · 5 days

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substance abuse sounds so good rn

#mik talks #i might genuinely be going through the worst time of my life irght now #worse than when i was 13 and thats saying something because when i was 13 they forced me into treatment #at least when i was 13 i could be pissed off at other people so i just hated everyone and myself #now i still do that but also iam just constantly scared and dreading.#finished watching another oitnb episode with my mom and was about to go to bed and was like happy n all and then i just #burst into tears and went 'im just constantly waiting for a disaster to happen. someone will die soon' and walked away #mentally stable behavior #ten minutes ago i walked to her bedroom door sobbing and bawling my eyes out with the worst headache of my life #genuinely contemplating asking her to drive me to a clinic. i am not doing well at all .#but fuck it we ball #im just gonna reread all of crush again and try to sleep without seeing demons and all my loved ones dying

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luigis-slut · 2 years

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So did any other autistic people have ABA therapists encourage your parents to have you participate in a "variety of activities" as a young kid to prevent you from developing special interests?

Did that prevent you from practicing an activity long-term, thus keeping you from being good at anything? And as an adult, did that inhibit your ability to develop hobbies and find interests that you're passionate about?

Because that’s sure what it did to me.

#autism #ableism #ableist nonsense #aba #anti aba #anti ableism #I mean its not like i didnt develop hobbies and find things that im skilled at #but i feel like the fact that my parents/ABA 'therapists' were trying to prevent 'autistic behavior' limited my potential #I'm glad that my parents encouraged my art skills to the point that it became my career path #and that Im at least skilled and talented in THAT #but i wish i could go back in time and trade all of those sports activities out for ONE sport and music #I did soccer. baseball. dance. karate. ice skating. etc. None of it stuck. I remember almost none of those skills now.#Because id only do it for a year or two before I was encouraged to try something else before it became a special interest #I feel like id be in a much better place now if i was simply allowed to have special interests #aba is abuse #aba is meant to eradicate autistic traits for the convenience of parents. not to produce healthy adults #Im trying to develop new hobbies now. But with the way i was raised its extremely difficult to learn and keep practicing #this certainly isnt the worst thing that ABA has done to me. But its one that i dont see many others talk about #i wish i had been allowed to have special interests. I wish i had been allowed to be autistic without ridicule #the fact that my family STILL looks back on my 'variety of interests' as a good thing is also depressing #the fact that they keep saying 'its a good thing we got early intervention' makes me upset #I know that they mean well. Theyre glad i can communicate verbally and could graduate college #But they treat my autism like its cancer. The constantly tell me that the abuse was justified. That i NEEDED it #this is why we need autism ACCEPTANCE. Not awareness. ACCEPTANCE.

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itstimeforstarwars · 6 months

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"You're in public, you should expect to be filmed/photographed if you look weird" well I expect to get catcalled and threatened too but that doesn't mean you're not still a creep for participating in that sort of behavior.

#chit chat #just because i expect the worst behavior doesn't mean I can't hope for people to act like decent human beings #jfc #negative #sorry someone pissed me off #used to be if people were filming in public they had to put up a sign #so that people could opt out if they wanted to #now everyone just assumes that if ur at walmart ur ok with strangers making tiktoks of your face to make fun of you to a million people #im so fucking tired of everyone #do you know how many people film me and my coworkers just doing shit at work???#and it's not like we can escape it #because. fucking obviously.#im about to start carrying spraypaint and just spraying people's cameras is2g #bitch I'll make this miserable for both of us

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nozomijoestar · 5 months

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The facial expressions in this part of their Tag 2 ending always gets me because it's like Asuka was hoping this wasn't more stupid shit going on, and she's more disappointed before she gets irritated and wants to make sure this set up was deliberate rather than automatically assume the worst, speed running the five stages of grief lol

#she's like Wait no -> are you for real rn -> i wish you would just be normal -> tell me it's not true that you're being irritating fr #idk i think it says something about how Asuka might want to see the good in ppl first before she lets her temper fly #bc if she didn't have that hope of the good in people she would just throw hands and not ask even basic questions to confirm how to react #doing my fag research again #tekken #asuka IS capable of questioning her behavior it's just the rash temper seems to win out even when she wants to control it at times #also i recommend watching it in cutscene it comes across better than my screenshots lol you see her face genuinely feel like she doesn't #Want to think the worst of Lili and that rationale is clashing with feeling hurt that this could be petty instead #im a Asuka Wouldn't Mind Getting Along With That White Girl Actually If She Would Just Calm The Fuck Down Around Asuka believer

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slippery-minghus · 1 month

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hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?