#im playing as a monk thats why he said that

[poscoposco]

Excellent. Excellent job, Baldur's Gate.

[fakesimp]

🐒 anon here to raid ur ask box again, hope im not doing this to much lol, lov u chia 💕 for putting uo w my shit

bUT ANYWAYS MONKE THOUGHTS 🤡🤌 mutual pining, idiots clearly inlove with eachother and they know, but theyre both too shy to admit it for shit, they always find looking for eachothers company, Lxm always txting their crush after or during their streams to ask if they watched or not 🤛🤛, too stupidly inlove for eachother, just having a soft spot for the other just makes me feel so 😭💕🤌 like its not even an official relationship, no label was ever talked about, it just happened, every moment they spend is their date. Thats it. Thats the tweet.

🐒 Anon !

Love you too, thank you for dropping your oh-so-gracious monke thoughts on me.

Why so shy admitting them when it's so clear they like each other heeeyyyy Σ⁠(⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)

Short hcs utc !

Vox would just drop that "Why are we not dating yet." As a joke, and you usually would just ignore him or laugh it off sarcastically while your heart is either having a race or you felt butterflies in your stomach, until one day you decided to reply to his flirty remarks with "I wonder why. Why don't we start dating then?" Making him just sat there speechless. But you did enjoy his flirtatious remarks, sometimes you even look forward for it. Tho denying it when he points it out.

"You actually liked it when I tease you aren't you." "No, I don't." "Aww, my heart." "I SAID NO??"

Mysta would be the Constantly talking about you either you're watching or not, does he realize it? Maybe? If someone points it out will he accept the truth? Probably in denial but lowkey accepting the truth. There is one time he talked about how cute you are when you're focused on something you're doing when both of you are meeting up irl, everyone in the chat would awe at both you and him, awing at him for just straight off calling you cute when both of you are not having the official relationship yet. Sometimes the Mystakes would ask 'So when are you going to give your shot mysta?' making the Detective blink in confusion.

"My shot? On what-" .... "My Confession to- HUH?? I thought I already answer y'all that I won't do it yet."

Luca would make you fell to his traps so many times to the point you're mad at him, but you couldn't stay mad at him for long since he's just. Someone that you couldn't stay mad with, Lucubs sometimes are worried about you, worried that Luca's joke went too far. But he knows you actually don't mind, he knows his limit. He knows when not to joke around and be serious, such a sunshine. There's also time when he would chat you, asking if you wanna company him in his stream. Sometimes he'll also invite you to play multiplayer games! Lucubs lowkey ships both of you together,

"(Y/n)! (Y/n)! Come here look at this-" "I don't want to die again for the millionth time Luca." "Trust meee I won't kill you this time-" "Can I trust you with that" "Hehe."

Ike, this man, barely talks about you but when he do he would almost mumble everything about you for awhole hour. Talking about how great you are, how he loves your work, he would compliment how talented you are. Everything about you, he would just rant about it to quilldren. He would apologize tho if it's too much, the quilldren favors you. They found it cute when you both replied to each other's tweet ever so cutely. He sometimes accidentally asked if you're watching or not at the beginning of his stream, making the quilldren go 'Shall we summon them?' 'Summon (Y/n) moments'

"I was just asking once and this is how you all act--" *You sent a 'hi' in the chat* "Oh- Hi (Y/n)-! I'm sorry if the quilldren are disturbing you, I swear it was not intentional.. but since you're here want to company me in the call?"

Shu sometimes would send you some questionable memes, but you appreciate it. Some of them actually made you laugh, even brighten up your day! Sometimes you would too, share some memes you found funny. In his streams, Shu would slip up a joke about you. And coincidentally you just opened his stream, you immediately sent 'oh wow.' making the Sorcerer laugh at your reaction in chat.

"Oh no (Y/n) is heree runn-" *reads your chat* "Come here then, join me, I appreciate your company-" *You joined the next second* "Oh, hi." "Just why." "Pft-"

©fakesimp

A bit ooc? Apologies (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠)

[f0xd13-blog]

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Oh that part ain't fake your character is. Not to him specifically. You know you need to built character and let go of the nerdy otaku stuff a bit not litetally you can play with your dolls or wtv but like on tv... get it real not just in the ring like be real you know... indians vs jews coz they think that's what wrestling was for and that their lil racist story is any relevant? Hmmmm

Nd i don even wanna talk bout aew coz there's people over there but like wtf .. why are they all harry potter gypsy and then celebrate anushka? So annoying like you want me to see that as only business after what happened in the real world?

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No shit. They are racist and legally which is crazy.

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Ehehhehehehe witch laughterz

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He wasn't that suprised tho that's his uncle they are both jr duhh the evidence just keeps on comming

Belonging is a word throwed a around a lot .. well what do you mean by belonging? Is it belonging in a company? Because those words never came out of my mouth but it is funny how this mirrors israel they play the "they say we don belong here" but behind people backs while nobody is watching gaza exists... so who is not the one belonging? trowing me out of the window everytime and giving 2000 championships to jews? Dang certainly im the one bullying people out of their place right? I ain't just mad because you made me into a joke for years and now that is exploding on my hands IN THE REAL WORLD

Anyways words are empty when you look at things and clearly by your product im the one that is not belonging

Like my people invented that thang why isn't we getting the fruits of what we planted?it's just common sense. Ii'm tired of that childish shit... it's always trible chief mode "does that person belong in my tribe of monkes"? Listen i don care about that shit... look back at the product who was the people that made you? And listen the lack of them obvious by your ratings. Its like trying to invade nba and then ask the black people that in fact made that sport why do they think they dont belong... yess you do but stay at your place and respect the elders.. isn't that the values you stole from my culture?

And then the belong things gets turned into perfect blue shit like... so you belong so you are rn using my mask while my people get killed and you is a jew and im living in the conditions im living you see its shit.. i would respect a nasty jew that only wants to get gold and be nasty but no you chose to make my life a joke for protagonism and thats why i would stab you in reality and maybe you would wake up from that theatre you do in the ring that should be a lil bit more in touch with reality maybe just a bit you know... its like a said jews will forever be trash that don't know their limits

If you think that any jew ever invented a character you are wrong because how can you when you don't even understand wtf you are doing... you could but you can't coz you don't listen since the iron sheik be screaming at your ears that y'all a bunch of jabronis... like he wasn't lying that's the thing!

You can't invented a character when you think that we are a character as in this ain't real just coz it is a performance that is why they suck and they will never learn! Every major wrestling character is gypsy because wrestling is gypsy like you can't try to be us and say that ain't happening we just know

No not even stone cold is an original character that's the thing! Im yet to find a jewish character that isn't just them trying to be us because they don understand it was never fake

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Jews want congo's minerals and resources... booooooo wow reality. You are trying to make a jew a fucking hero and the representation of christ and the joker at the same time and im like .. my Judas say what? DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

Nd then of course we start wondering about the reasons for that right? Because it's so out of this world like if they was on a massive wormhole completely disconnexted from the rest of the worlds perceptions for what? That's the question and don tell me you are trying to show individuality coz i hurt everyday because you contributed to that sort of ignorance about my situation... don tell me people wouldn't see your individuality because a lot of peeps that are hating jews would maybe even aplaud it for it being real... nobody would try to kill seth rollins for telling the truth aboit his character and what he really represents lol

And the most ridiculous shit about this is... am i really teaching this to an entire industry that should know better? Like this is ridiculous

Yess obviamente im the one deciding who doesn't belong in wrestling look at where iam now look at seth rollins and sami zayn and his bloodline pffff pls don make me laugh ok? Wake up!!! When the sheik called you jabroni he was legit calling you a jabroni for a reason we do use sense also just like any person (should ... nowadays that is not a common trait)

So it was literally him saying idk why this fucking jabronis (mostly jews and payos that don know why wrestling exists and have no character because we know hen the character is just a wannabe gypsy) think they have a say just coz they got through indie wrestling and wrestling school totally a capitalization of our culture which is fine if you knew it was a culture and respected their people as such which is not the case at all omg people don even know how to behave accordingly around us just watch the comments around fury's appearence and the ronaldo rumour and can even go as far as to say we don own our own gimmick that jewish that capitalized it does... thats insane! You should had taught your wwe universe better. He was literally always screaming on twitter. The last interviews he did he was always super pissed for a reason. Specially when those interviews was conducted by misleading kevin nash.

Here.. it's baby iron sheik

We can also look like this even in iran btw

Now lez go back to another sort of cancer:

This one really looks like the iron sheik ahaha missing the moustache... that kids needs a moustache

"Don't take drugs" and then he looks insane ahahah i love him

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Iron sheik but make it circus leader ;)

Britney is back but she is in Polinésia i fear for hee life she is going to be turned into a jewish samoan and don trust the ceasefire reports

Well is he wrong? Because after putting prisioners at the streers after that scheme called covid probably on purpose to which we don know the effects of what they be doing out there since those people can looking like the biggest politican ever... and after fascist latrashtinos schemes comming from countries full of fascism... and the recent uprise of extremest marxist movements in the usa you can't really blame him for being careful with immigration. Also idk how that co relates to the italian thang that was in fact racist coz we are their indigenous people for centuries and they caught us from egypt we never immigrated there we immigrated to greece so they took us from greece and egypt...

Litetally we was abused for centuries there that's why they have a hard time now... now you don want to be responsible for what you did... nah now you have to include us coz i ain't going to invade egypt just coz you like to get rid of you past

[arttrampbelle]

You know what if you like the new fire god liu kang. Just block me. Because i absolutely hate what they are doing to him. Just straight up block me.

Like liu kang what did they do to you fr?!

Like why?

And the fact we got the best iteration of shang tsung in mk11. Only to have him treated like dogshit here in the new game says to me that nrs is not only fake af and used tagawa for profit.

Its disrespectful to him as an actor. Its disrespectful the the character.

And its fucking insulting.

I smell some dirty bullshit with nrs fr.

Like it feels so damn fake and condescending of nrs to do that.

Yeah brings back shao n wants to "turn him good" oh but we cant do the same for shang. When shao is worse than shang. And way to go nrs for being racist to asian men unless they are pretty,have the "correct personality traits" or are money making cash grab bullshit to dance n sing for you. (Same for other poc characters but yeah its getting worse for asian men and asian and indigenous Pacific peoples and cultures. But thats for another post. Unfortunately people still stay being racist to black characters but what else is fucking new?! Ugh. I hate these fans and nrs for that and people being absolutely stupid af to that but you know they only care about aesthetics and consuming product. But thats besides the point. ) like im just sick of it.

Yeah liu bring back and keep shao kahn the mofo that legitimately kills everyone in armageddon,committing genocide on tge supposed woman you loves people. Oh wait you dont actually love her now?! You think you're too important now for love?! Oh well shit. Shows who you really are. Guess you dont really care so as long as you get to have your cake and eat it too. Mr chosen,perfect,goody good shit.

Are nrs trying to actively sabotage its own franchise? Its own characters?! Im seriously doubting that its genuine they wanna make this game. Because im serious,liu kang doesn't feel like liu kang. AT ALL! like wtaf. It feels so hammy,so fucking black n white American comicbook,mcu marvel brainrot type of writing. It makes me wanna puke.

Considering how things played out in 11. And how well the did shang. How decent some characters were(not the best but better than past things in a long time.) We got something that hinted at actual threats,consequences. But then....nothing. all thats taken back because plot armor. Or enough fanboys whined. Like fr.

Now it feels like a huge downgrade. Like so much. And thats not saying a lot since 11 had huge plotholes and bad shit in it too.

But god damn.

Liu kang sounds like such an asshole and nobody's calling him out?!

Like wow.

Oh but shang is the biggest problem for you? No mofo. He's trying to knock some sense into you. Because you think you're infallible. But like all "gods" you can die too. And i hope you do. Painfully. Slowly. Excruciatingly.

If not by shang tsung than i hope dark raiden comes back to fucking whoop that smarmy fucking face clean off!

The only liu kang i love is mk shaolin monks liu and 95 movie liu kang. Thats it. Thats the only valid ones. Other than that. Liu can suck my metaphorical ballsack!

Fire god my asscrack. More like douchebag of the century.

He's worse than shao kahn. Makes him seem humble.

Unless liu is evil. Until that is announced. Liu kang can kiss my ass n die. Fr.

Unless its mk:sm or 95 movie liu. They can stay like i said. But fire god liu? Nah go die chosen boob. You reek of fanboys wank stains.

Im not just saying this because i like shang. Im pissed how ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BEING TREATED LIKE LITTLE PAWNS TO GOD LIU KANG NOW! Like wtf. How is he good?! How is he still loved?! Again unless this is a villain arch... i dont see how this will actually work well. Its already shit but how are you still making it worse?! I dont get it.

Like it's a travesty that shang feels like a threat but also slightly sympathetic in mk11. But here,now. Its a fucking mockery. And liu isn't being called out for his hypocrisy. Hives shao kahn forgiveness. But not shang. Thats should be your first clue.

Im thinking fire god liu kang has to be a vassel for onaga. Why else would shao kahn live? But shang knows the truth thats why he wants to get rid of him? Because shang is the only one other than raiden who can fucking stop fire god liu cuck i mean kang. From fucking over everything.

That is the only way this will be slightly redeemed. But barely. Still not enough to forgive nrs and their sins.

Fans can hate. Me idgaf. Ive been a mk fan for many many many fucking years. Longer than most of this hellsite. So yeah. I was willing to try to give them a chance. But no. If thats how they play. And its not a villain arch for liu.

Then its official.... YOU SUCK NRS!

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Zukka Soulmate AU part 4

@mypureessence

@chaoticidiott

@ari-shipping-stuff

@knightedbot

@idkhowbutimgayer

@swampy-beans

"Something blue huh?" Jee asked from behind Zuko once they separated from his uncle

"Yeah" was all Zuko gave as an answer

"I know why, I've seen the boy y'know." After Zuko shot him a glare he put his hands up "I won't ask anything much but... you do know he knows right?"

What? Zuko paused for a moment "Im sure he doesn't, and even if he does why would he care?" Jee tapped his own left cheek "again, why would he care? If he hasn't said anything he clearly has no reason to actually care about that let alone me"

Jee tapped Zuko's hand when he spotted a little market with a good amount of blue items. "Not sure, but given that you're always attacking his friend perhaps he wouldn't want you to know or maybe its because you're firenation? The kid looks like he lost alot to the war"

Walking to the market Zuko was quiet, thinking over what Jee said. He really was always attacking Aang wasn't he? Of course he was, that has always been what he needed to do, that's what he set out to do over two and a half years ago.

Zuko looked over the many blue items before landing on a small hair ribbon long enough to also be worn as a necklace or a bracelet if one would want to. The ribbon was a deep blue with a smooth amber stone in the center surrounded by small pearls. Jee leaned over "that would look nice, perhaps he'd notice it too? Maybe even realize you're not as against the idea as you seem to be?"

Zuko turned to Jee with a flushed face "shut up" but he did buy it, spent a good four gold pieces on it and let Jee tie his hair up for him before heading out to find where Iroh went.

Once they met up with Iroh Jee headed back to the ship and Iroh took notice of the hair piece, praising Zuko for his good eye spotting such a lovely blue. After said praise the duo went looking for a string instrument for music night on the ship, finding themselves on a pirate ship with several clearly stolen items.

"Im glad you're starting to admit he's yours nephew"

"Im not admitting anything" Zuko pouted to which Iroh geave a chuckle

"Of course not"

A scrawny looking pirate wearing green walked pst them with an irritated expression "we lost the water tribe girl boss, and the bald monk she was traveling with"

The avatar. Zuko turned to them and gave a smirl "this bald monk... did he have an arrow on his head?"

"Why yes... he did... why?"

"Ive been searching for him and the two watertribe kids with him for a while now." He looked between the captain and the scrawny man. "What did they take?"

"A waterbending scroll" the captain spoke with a grumble.

"I can help you find them"

And that he did, finding Katara along the water practicing her bending when she fled the pirate and ran into him he tied her necklace around her throat whispering "I'm sorry" before his dramatic line of "I'll save you from the pirates"

Of course he had her tied up, she was a waterbender, and a strong self taught one at that, sure she was struggling with a move but given the water around them he wasn't taking any chances. She was giving him a sympathetic look without any answers to his questions.

"Where is he?" He growled at her "where is the avatar?"

"Did he burn you?" She asked in a voice only loud enough for him to hear

"What?" He took a step back

"Was it firelord Ozai? Was he the one that hurt you and my brother?" She spoke a little louder "I know you've noticed, I know he has, but gods he's so stubborn and... and so are you! Just give up on the whole chasing Aang gig and just..." she trailed off

"Just what? Join you? Betray my nation even more than I-"

"A nation thats willing to burn and banish their prince deserves to be betrayed!" She shouted at him just before the pirates managed to bring Aang and Sokka.

"Katara!" Aang shouted

"Zuko?" Sokka whispered

"Good job" Zuko turned to the pirates to negotiate but had a moment of thought when he saw them hesitate to hand Aang over. He leaned to Katara "think you can outrun them?"

"What?"

"How far is your bison?"

"Uh, not sure, but Aang has a whistle?"

He nodded before stepping to the side and slipping the scroll into her hands and cutting the rope "hold onto the rope for a second" he whispered before stepping towards them "hand over the boy" he shouted at the pirates

"The scroll first!"

Come on Sokka, you're always quick with words "you're really handing over the avatar for a stupid piece of parchment?" That's the ticket.

And the argument ensued before Zuko shot two overly controlled flames at Sokka and Aang to cut their ties loose and jumped into the smoke formed by the pirates. "Go!" He shouted to Katara who hesitated

"What about y-"

"Im just doing you a favor, get lost!"

And so she did. The trio managed to escape and Zuko left the pirates not only empty handed but bruised and lost in the woods with no boat.

Back on his ship Zuko laid on the deck while Jee, Iroh and the rest of the crew played music in a circle around him. He wasn't sure why he let them but he wasn't about to tell them to stop in the middle of their song.

[scims-stuff]

The one where we all die (almost)

screw it this is now a dnd/tma/mechs blog

i usually dm but im in a campaign w a couple of my players and their friends (i'm a late comer)

playing a lvl 6 goblin bard

w/ @creepy-noises-in-the-woods (as the monk)

(started about half way through the session)

long post but in my opinion it's kinda funny

THE WIZARD CAST FIREBALL INSIDE A HOSTILE TREE

we're all gonna die

this will end in a possible tpk

fuck fuck fuck

robe of stars come in clutch

ROLLED ALL 3/4s FOR MAGIC MISSILE

32 points and only half dead,,,,theres like 8 of these fuckers

(don't blame the dm the wizard accidentally summoned these)

giving BI to the paladin

MONKS DOWN

"if you fuck up, you will die" NO

okay ones down

wizards down

guess i'm playing healer,,, thus is the life of a bard ig

healed wizard,, rolled shit tho

NAT 20 0N HIDE LETS GOOOO

WIZARDS DOWN AGAIN FUCK

,,,,,they're attacking the unconscious monk

okayokayokay paladins still up

i do have a back up character tho (mentioned her as a npc in the current characters backstory)

paladins down

RELENTLESS ENDURANCE COMING IN CLUTCH

mr dm we are begging you,,,,attack the weird ass caterpillar

healed the monk and gave her BI

,,,,,,kinda need to pee rn lol

first time hit this combat

,,,,,annnd im on 4hp

okay for the next character i'm thinking of making her a blood hunter,,,, maybe a cleric

*chanting* STUNNING STRIKE STUNNING STRIKE

im down lol

my neck just twitched so bad ever vertebrae cracked

OH FUCK FORGOT ABOUT THE PALADIN MUTATION THING

he's A TREE

MANS TURNING INTO A TREE

we're doing some meta shit

gay male armour

i have a reborn character in the works and they have adv on death saves, wish i had that rn

2 failed saves for the wizard

we're praying in the chillis tonight

NAT 20 AGAINST THE MONK FUCK

paladins unconcious

TPK TPK TPK TPK

,,,,,wizards dead

rip the drug dealing kolbold

wait dm said he wanted to make deaths important

hope?

NAT FUCKING 20 FOR THE MONK

PLADADIN ALMOST FAILED

why did he make me go last

FAIL SAVE FAIL (changed dice) SAVE SAVE

IM FINE SHAKING BUT FINE

narration time

oop im up

were on 1hp yall

nah this is just sad

coma time??

arm gone

cauterising the wound

okay he's fine

robot arm, robot arm, robot arm

we fucking sad and quiet in the crabtank tonight

gonna visit some ppl and see the king (were kinda bffs with him) next session

wait shit im also irradiated

well thats the story in balamory,,,,imma do this again next session

[thecringefailintherye]

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man 

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam 

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING 

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised 

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 

this film.. 

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

[undergloom]

Cursed is really good!!

I have a few criticisms but like honestly solid show.

Its kinda like a rehashing king arthur and merlin and all that. But like in a real creative way. And honestly the way its described on netflix isn't very good.

MILD SPOILERS below. Mostly in the criticisms i have for the characters. So just like ignore that part it will be marked.

Meet our protagonist! Her name is Nimue! Shes a Fae, a decent fighter and has a spooky secret that alienates her from her clan.

Criticism:

Honestly as a character I have no real problem with Nimue, shes really cool, very stubborn and has a strong sense of identity, she makes her own choices but also relies on her two friends whom I will talk about later.

I suppose one thing to be said is... I think theres a lot of allusions to real life colonization that they couldve made the protagonist non-white "human-passing" woman. But thats just my opinion

Arthur! He's the deuteragonist of this lovely show. Honestly I love Arthur he starts out a bit of a coward, a mercenary living proverbial paycheck to paycheck paying off debt and a bit full of himself. And he grows into man confident in his own abilities and who protects those who share a similar cause. Hes just GOT A GOOD HEART AT HIS CORE AND HES GONE THROUGH A LOT AND HE DESERVES BETTER OKAY!!

Criticism:

I like the path Arthur went on this season. This is a role a black man normally wouldnt get a chance to play. At least i believe that to be true. So I'm really glad he is black!! No real criticism excwpt he starts out a little insufferable but he truly grows on you!

Oh sweetie im so sorry tumblr did you so dirty. THREE GIFS OF MY GIRL!!? pretty white boy villain has a bajillion and its like the same five scenes. Ahem. Anyway. This is Morgana, Arthur's sister. She was shipped away to be a nun due to unforeseen circumstances. She's strong, clever and a lesbian!

Criticism: BIG SPOILER WARNING

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-

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None of morgana really. Just the show does have a bury your gays trope. And her girlfriend dies. I'm hoping morgana ends up happier in the next season.

A Bitch. The weeping monk. Uh. Daddy issues. Guy i was talking about earlier

Criticism :

Oof nope not touching thos one someone else can have it. Just like. Uh. Weird. Like a very complex character totally brainwashed by a system (like republican administration and christianity!). (okay i toucjed it a little)

Okay i know this one may look bad but i promise this criticism will be spoiler free so you can read it and see why the criticism is so long here. I love Kaze a lot and I hope they do more growing her character in the next season.

Criticism

Very dissapointed yet again, this is the only picture of her. Kaze is a secondary character and i have a lot to say about her. Shes kinda like the black best friend without the friend part and sorting through all of nimues emotional baggage about the choices she must make.

Kaze is one of the few dark skinnned characters to get lines at all. She believes in Nimues abilities and advises her to step up which she does. Then kaze kinda fades to the background doing cool fight moves and killing bad guys for a few shots. Dont get me wrong these scenes are important for her character. But they also seem a little hollow. I do have hope for the next season.

Oh Merlin.... I like him a lot! Hes not really a good guy. Hes lived many lives, worn many hats. Seen loved ones die, hes killed, hes lied, and hes stolen. Hes a nasty self serving chaotic man. But damn does he try. Arthyr is still my favourite character though.

Criticism

Typical cis white man character, will be the favourite of those with daddy issues or who just like bald morally grey men.

Lets dismantle Christianity with swords...! Together! Please watch cursed AND MAKE MORE gif SETS OF MY FAVOURITE WOMEN.

[ask-vaal-hazak]

I just left a homebrew dnd campaign I've a message for new DM's

If your running a campaign for 2 ppl and there level 3 do not throw cr 6 and 9 monsters at them. For the love of the divine do not.

Extremely fustrating and deadly. And dont use the monsters from a homebrew forum bc it just sounds cool. Bc that "cool" cr 6 hag going against a lv3 party with multiple attack. Multiple spell cast and spell immunity and able to polymorph into any creature it wants at will is devastating.

Just to rant here. I lost 3 characters in 1 hour. My lv 3 barbarian (minotaur zelot). My battlemaster (centaur) and my wizard (yuan ti)

To be a dm ya have to balance and make sure every fight isnt designs to just upright kill ppl at the start bc. 5d12 worth of dmg with multiple attack on a hag or any creature. Is friggin broken.

There no way in hell a monster for a party of 2, level 3 adventures should hit for 5d12 (3 times) and be able to cast 2 spells (at will without using a spell slot) EVERY ROUND. And on top of that have a movement speed of 90 and an ac of 23. (I asked the dm to let me see what he was using and thers more. Swim of 30, fly of 300 ect this is pretty much a god with its stats but the cr says 6. It dosent even feel like a 6. More like a lv 20 broken sack of crap)

This is the reason there are tutorial guides in the book(s) and youtube to show you why you should look at cr then your players levels b4 u design an encounter.

I cant describe how fustrating it was to see my barbarian. Who I spent 5hours making just get tapped lightly and die. Bc 48 hp at lv 3 and taking well over 10 pts of dmg bc apparently she crit me on all attacks and only did like 1 attack to our female player (for 2 dmg with a level 6 scorching ray [its bs] ) was "Fair bc your a barbarian and should be able to tank this EASILY" (quote the dm.)

If there is a way to piss off players it's this and having a game were you get railroaded so hard it's a traveling trip with skill checks with a minimum of 18-20 to notice something like a bear on the road when the weather is CLEAR and everyone is PAYING THE HELL ATTENTION ON A BANDIT HIGHWAY. Not to mention the SCREAMS OF A CYCLOPS AS IT LITERALLY SMASHES INTO THE CARAVAN ACROSS A PLANE WITH A FEW TREES ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

Oh and let me not forget the NPCS WHO WANT TO SLEEP WITH EVERYONE BC THEY THINK THERE HOT AND DESERVE A NICE HOT MEAT ROD FOR THEIR SERVICES OF INTRODUCING THEMSELVES.

*Facepalm* my god....oh and if your thinking

"GEE-WILLY Mr. Person surely it couldnt be that bad?" This guys campaign was pretty much parappa the rapper, jojo bizarre adventures, bloodborne, Resident evil and memes.

I had a character who came in and apparently they caused the world to have wormholes? (Somehow) and referenced it everytime we played even when that character died. In session one. Bc apparently a company named (I kid you not) Shoe Rack was the equivalent of resident evil's umbrella cooperation. Complete with a drow leader and a litch bookkeeper who turned everyone into zombies to work for free while they apparently made diamonds to sell for millions of gold and keep the workers working g for 1 copper every month. Only giving gold to ppl that would sleep with them.

Not to mention apparently everyone in this world had magic resist or spell immunity to everyone except to females. And when I made a female char apparently that rule became I valid and it was just a straightforward

Me: does a 17 hit?

Dm: well it would but .... *they grin*

Me: but?

Dm: they use a special ring to catch the spell and cast meteor swarm on you point blank.

Me: well they get hit too I just stabbed them with a dagger.

Dm: no you see it's a SMALL METEOR THAT ONLY HITS THE PERSON THAT HIT THEM

Me: so they and my teammate. Who has literally been stabbing them are fine?"

Dm: yes

Me (takes like 589 pts of dmg and is ded)

Dm: the litch turns to you and asks if you want a cup of coffee.

Female player: umm sure?

Dm: whoo-yeah. Combat over you get 500 go and a date with the litch.

Me: I'm sorry what?

Female player: umm...ok. awsome.

Me: ......ok cool so I'll just bring in-

Dm: no that's cool the litch revives yorubas a female zombie slave.

Me: why?

Dm: and you need to have sex to keep yourself alive.

Me: yeah no. I'll just bring in my centaur battle master

1 hour later

Dm: you take umm..let's see *rolls dice.*

Me: (waiting)

Dm: *rolls a shit ton more dice*

Me: (waiting)

Dm: oh oh no *grins*

Me: (takes 40 dmg) I'm still up

Dm: how?

Me: I have 48 hp....I'm still up

Dm: ok it's your attack I guess.

Me: rolls a nat 1 "ok I guess I have disadvantage on my next att-"

Dm: rolls a d100 and a d10 (the percentile)

Me: what are you doing?

Dm: rolling for severity of your fail. Btw how much dmg does your lance do?

Me: it does 1d12 dmg and why are you using severity. That's not in 5e and you said we-

Dm: as you fail you accidentally stab yourself in the throat as your spear hits a rock and you take *rolls dice* 35 pts of dmg

Me: ok I'm out that's bs. Number one and two I have a lance and thers no way I can do 35 dmg. I get about 24 dmg on a crit and 28 if I use my racial feature to kick a person at max with a crit.

Dm: oh your just being salty, you dont play fair!

Me: excuse me?

Dm: ALL YOU DO IS PLAY SPELL CASTWRS AND THATS CHEATING!

Me: bc everyone has spell immunity for some reason or only takes 1/4 the dmg. I'm pretty much useless and am being fored to play melee unlike our LOREMASTER BARD who got an item to DOUBLE HER DMG AND SPELL SLOTS AND CRIT ON A 15 PERMANENTLY (this is the female btw)

Dm: well maybe you should have slept with the litch

Me: she literally found that item in a store for like 3 silver and when I looked (with a 17 arcana check) I found a rusty dagger and a flask of poisoned potion.

Dm: well maybe roll higher?

Female player: umm I rolled like a 10 and found this that's kind of cool but I dont think it's fair. But o wanna keep my items

Dm: ugh fine. You keep yours. Ummm (to me) I guess you get a potion of greater healing for....umm 500 go.

Me:.......nah I'm good, FUCK IT. I'll just make another spell caster Oops. Cant do that. How about a nope. Cant make a barbar I'm going to make a artificer

Dm: cant do that

Me: why?

Dm: they're broken its not good.

Me: *with the book* not broken..ulyou know what why dont you make me a character and I'll use that.

Dm: hands me a sheet

Me: reads "Zonia the sexy zombie elf sex slave that gets stronger every time she has sex?" *Looks at everyone* ok I'm out enjoy the campaign.

Dm: we cant have a dnd adventure with only 1 person.

Me: yes you can you've been doing it since session 1. I'm out goodbye. I'm still running my campaign on sunday. I wont hole anything against you. But I will not sit here and be shit on bc I refuse to kiss yur ass and make a slut of a character. Pull your head from your ass. I'm taking my stuff and I'm out.

Dm: but I need the dm screen and the mat and the markers.

Me: then buy your own or use theater of mind. I'm out.

Like how bad is it to want to be a dm to shit on ppl. THIS, THIS IS NOT OK. and no one wants a zombie sex slave that can only have sex and has a str of 0 a con of 30 a dex of 1 a cha of 40 and so on. Its friggin stupid!

Anyway that's my rant. Im....I think I'm just done with dms and crap I just want to play a dnd game I can be happy with. And not always be the Forever dm. Who has players challenge everything. Like why as a monk they cant use sleight of hand to CATCH A FRIGGIN FIREBALL AND/OR AN ARROW AIMED AT ANOTHER PERSON.

Anyway leave a comment or add on I'm just burnt out and glad I could get this rant off my chest

[valkavavaart]

no one asked but i wanted to do all of this in one sitting lets go.. this is long im sorry

1. favourite character 

jyushi, kuukou, ramuda.. i will not pick between them

2. least favourite character 

jyuto.. also saburo but he’s growing on me

3. favourite division

nagoya, baby!

4. favourite buster bros member

legally adopting jiro.. thats my boy i love him

5. favourite mtc member

rioooOoOOoOOoOoOoOOo i dont care the other two but like id give my life for riooOoOOOo

6. favourite matenrou member

doppPOOoOOOoOOOoo but also dr jakurai jinguji if ur out there...

7. favourite fling posse member

r a m u d and a.. whos that

8. favourite character song

UMMM drops and moonlight shadow both slap...?

9. favourite rap battle

its gotta beeeeee battle battle battle? i dont rlly listen to them much i just think abt the art where ramuda and jakurai are like face to face except we KNOW ramuda is barely like 5′0″ and jakurai is a big tall 6′4″ish man so how are they this close is ramuda sitting on his knee?? is jakurai kneeling?? is ramuda on a box

10. favourite tdd member

again.. ramuda lmao.. like esp tdd ramuda his outfit is so cute hes just so tiny..

11. your otp

UMMMM i like getting into a lot of ships?? id say my favs are probably like.. gendice or riodice maybe?? and ichikuu.. rn im like rlly into hitoya/jakurai too i want those old men to hold hands (i wanna draw them but idk any good poses for old dudes who r also boyfriends)

12. your notp

anything involving saburo uMmMMmm.. im not rlly a fan of samatoki/ichiro & tdd era samatoki/ichiro ESPECIALLY rubs e the wrong way.. i also dont rlly like jyushi/hitoya or kuukou/hitoya they just rlly rub me the wrong way

13. how did you get hooked on hypmic

ok so on twitter all my friends and the artists i follow got rlly into fire emblem three houses and i didnt own a switch at the time but i was like "cool i'll like find a bunch of artists that draw this and i'll UHHH maybe get hyped for it idk" and one of the artists was riryou_ on twitter who was posting like mochi blyeth and i was like omg so cute... and they spoke abt like hypmic a bunch too and i was like "oh i vaguely know what hypmic is (based off of all the samatoki memes and sasara fanart i’d see), maybe i should get into it??" then they like posted jyushi and i was like "oh he looks so dumb i need to know more" and i HEARD jyushi and i was like "actually he's adorable and i love him!!" bc i have a soft spot for like.. crybaby chuunis, and then downloaded the game and was like "wtf!!! where is jyushi" and thats why im here..

14. a character you identify with

im not assigning myself a hypmic kin!!!!!!!!

but i’ll pick doppo bc 1. never trust a doppo kinnie and 2. i too need a therapist

15. favourite character design

KUUKOU was designed specifally to cater to me here is exactly why

-SHORT KING. (HES THE SECOND SHORTEST BOY?? WHAT THE FUCK??? HE’S TALLER THAN RAMUDA SO GOOD FOR HIM.. BUT YOU’RE TELLING ME SABURO THE FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD IS TALLER THAN MY BOY KUU!??!?!?!? SHORT KING!)

-his hair. i cant draw it but i like it

-hes like >:3 all the time 

-he has?? fucking fangs

-cat boy energy

-the like contrast of him being a monk and then him also just being a little bastard.. love that

-i like his jacket

-his dumb fucking boots..

-he comfy

-radiates chaotic energy

-one of his eyes is usually like slightly squinted?? i dont know why he does that but i like it

-he wont hesitate.. bitch

-i forgot this was supposed to be like based on his design and went on a long ass ramble abt his personality but like sshhh you wont see that.. delete

-piercings... the big one looks like a stretcher? i like that

-his speakers that look like the dragon w the bell are cool

-again short king rowdy boy

-he has long eyelashes and wears eye makeup.. thats cute..

- >:3

16. a character you'd cosplay

again kuukou looks comfy but thats a lot of layers.. itd be rlly warm right..

id say maybe jiro! ichiro would be my next choice idk i like their jackets

17. a character you thought you'd like + 18. a character you thought you'd dislike  

ok so i just put these together bc like actually.. before i got into hypmic when all i rlly knew was vague fanart of the characters and that jyushi is my man i did a tier list to like get my opinions on them down.. and sometimes i look back to it and im like.. AHAH...

as u can see i was on board for jyushi as soon as i got here... but i thought sasara and kuukou were rlly neat and like i figured i'd like ichiro bc mmm... but honestly im not that big on ichi SFGKHDLF...

meanwhile in the bottom tier... jakurai, jiro, dice, rosho, ramuda, hifumi... the irony that i actually rlly like all of them... rosho took a while to grow on me but he's really good.. meanwhile hifumi probably still isnt a character im like SUPER into but i do like him..

heres my current tier list tho LMAO

19. buster bros or mtc?

hnn.. its gonna have to be buster bros...

i like jiro and rio a lot and dont rlly care for the other 4 but like.. i think i like bb and their dynamic and find them more sympathetic than mtc lmaoo... like ichiro went through a lot for his bros..

samatoki also went through a lot for nemu but hes stinky as hell and i think he's stupid. but i will not write an essay on that.

20. fling posse or matenrou

fling posse BABYYYYYY i love those funky little lads.. i like matenrou a lot too but like fp just appeal to me a lot more and i rlly love their dynamic.. i could talk for days abt fp...

21. mtc or matenrou

matenrOUuUuuUUuUUuu again i do not care mtc aside from rio.. i dont rlly have strong thoughts on matenrou lol i like their friendship tho :)

22. favourite hypmic seiyuu

saito soma or takaya kuroda.. saito soma bc i generally love his voice and also he voices other favs of mine (yamaguchi hq, 2wink from enstars..) and takuya kuroda bc im literally a simp for kazuma kiryu from the yakuza series,

also ive been insulting samatoki so far but i actually like his va like the man has the range?? between voicing samatoki hypmic and leo enstars?? HELLO????

23. a song you didn't like

basically anything by mad trigger crew SBJFGKJHLDSF the only song i actively remember by them is whats my name.. i only play it for rio..

UMMM otherwise i guess like??? new star.. sucks bc i actually rlly like saburo's va but i feel like he doesnt rlly get the best parts/songs...? that being said i like songs w him in it so

24. a hypmic headcanon

ummmmmmm i cant think of anything lol snnzzz.. i saw the hc that ramuda was the one that like dyed jakurais hair and it was so cute..

25. favourite solo song

wasnt this already a question or can i not read.. whatever my brain is like gya gya gyaran gya gya gyaran bam gya gya gyaran bam gya gya gya gya gyaran bam

6. favourite mc name

they all fucking suck LOL

evil monk is very literal and i like that. i also like that 14th moon ties into jyushi's name and everything..

UHHH i guess doppo cause its literally just his name LMAOO and i think doppos a cute name

7. the most attractive character

i know i said that kuukou is designed to appeal specific to me but gentarou? pretty boy. love to see it thank you saito soma. also tdd era jakurai.. maybe its just cause i like the manga art a lot but... dr jakurai jinguji if ur out there

28. a kink

PARDON.

29. favourite life quote & 30. favourite rebuttal or punchline

i dont wanna give a serious answer to either of those so on a completely unrelated note, i think abt this a lot

[tomiyeee]

finished the story quests for bl3 (but barely any of the side missions yet) and i got...Opinions(tm)

(sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile! also if you want to hide spoilers i’m tagging all my bl3 posts as “bl3 spoilers” so ny’all can blacklist it)

in no particular order:

i honestly wanted to give gearbox some slack and try my best to like this game bc i know people had probably unfairly high expectations for this game given all the build up, but they really just kept letting me down in everything but the graphics

said this before but overall, the characters are all Quite lackluster

^^ tyreen and troy included. adding the word "bitch" to every sentence does not automatically make it funnier

that being said, i super love their backstory + relationship with typhon/nekofeyo-whatever

the character designs are equally boring. moxxi was the only one who got a real improvement imo. lilith and maya are okay. rhys...i dont think i have to explain. lia...i dislike her hair; the black felt like it balanced out her design better and the white streak was interesting and cool but full white just looks bad tbh. zer0 feels less sleek and more bulky which doesnt fit him much. tina lost her pretty color palette and cute outfit. where are all the bright pretty color palettes in general???? there are other colors besides brown and black???? use them?????

ending of pre-sequel: “you will need all the vault hunters you can get” me: “ooh does that mean all the vh’s from previous games are back? i can’t wait to see everyone meet each other! :D” bl3: only nine of them come back, 3 of them die, the rest are involved in maybe one mission at most

boss fights. super. boring. and tedious. i mean this could be partly because i was playing on ps4 which made it extra not fun but if the only reason the fight is difficult is because they have a lot of health...it's not fun or challenging. i want fights like handsome jack with interesting mechanics. i want fights like angel with emotional impact. i want fights like the pre-sequel final boss that i forgot the name of with variation that isnt just "now they have an attack that shines bright lights in ur eyes, covers the whole arena, and can knock you down in one hit im looking at you traunt and killavolt". tyreens fight was the only one that i somewhat enjoyed because of this. all the others were just like "ughhhh again?"

im really enjoying melee amara playstyle. taking out badass enemies in four hits is my jam. this is just my fallout 4 playthrough all over again babey heck yea

typhon just wanted to be a good dad!!! he called tyreen starlight which is adorable!!! he did the best he could and tyreen hated him for it!!! i don’t blame either of them for that tbh, it makes sense from both their perspectives. tyreen definitely should have been more understanding, but she’s a dick so :/ (not saying this is a writing flaw, just a character flaw)

hammerlock needs higher standards in men but i really appreciate the undeniably in-your-face "fuck you" to all gamer dudes

i really. hate. how little the player character seems to matter in the story. in pre-sequel the vh's all had unique dialogue AND npcs would respond, sometimes even with character-specific lines. even when it was the same across vh's, it still felt like the npcs were interacting and speaking directly to them. the player character felt like a character of their own, rather than just a vessel for the player to do quests and kill enemies with or an errand runner for the important characters. i thought that was the direction they were going in with bl3 too but this just feels like bl2 only worse. there’s a separation again between you and the story and it feels like you’re just watching things happen. now ur not just a silent protagonist, but instead your a speaking protagonist who gets completely ignored. whats the point of including unique dialogue if it's not even acknowledged beyond an "uh-huh, moving on"?

sometimes the logic just feels kinda dumb. the twins killed/disabled maya and lilith in a heartbeat, they can literally disintegrate the most powerful beings in the universe, but the vault hunters? absolutely not. they must fight them for 40 minutes and then die.

after the fight with troy, no one even touched tyreen. there's no way they could have thought "yup she's definitely dead, no need to shoot her in the head or anything just to make sure. we didn't do anything to even hurt her, we just assumed." turns out she's 100% alive and gets up to start the apocalypse. who'da thunk! i know they wanted the end to seem more dramatic but it just seems stupid that they could have stopped tyreen like 5 missions earlier had they even the slightest bit of common sense.

lilith was one of the biggest threats to tyreen and troy's whole plan. of course they should leave her alive and simply steal her powers. let's kill the monk siren instead.

i know they didn't include this to give all players a fair experience instead of favoring sirens, but it kinda sucks playing a siren character and it's just completely ignored outside of ur action skill. tyreen and troy are sapping siren powers left and right, but they choose to leave you with yours. when you enter the eridian place with typhon tannis starts glowing because it has "something to do with sirens". what about the one standing right next to her? this applies to bl2 as well...jack i would willingly charge ur vault key for u pls why do u take lilith instead :'(

oh yeah speaking of tannis! i LOVE that she got angels powers. for some reason it just makes me really happy. maybe it's bc i think it's sweet that part of angel survived. maybe it's because it makes for cool fanart. maybe it's just cool. idk. also like that we got a solid explanation of what angel's powers were (influence over technology). i always thought her having control over it in bl2 might've been cuz it was hyperion tech and she had access to it same as she had access to the satellite from bl1. it wasn't super clear since it seemed like she could also materialize things like the ammo during her fight.

that also reminds me: all the dramatic reveals in this game felt kinda badly done.

the very first one with zer0/katagawa. like the whole time i was walking around looking for him i was trying to think why he might've turned/something must have happened to him or rhys. everyone was saying it was undeniably zer0. i finally meet him and take one look at his bright ass maliwan armor and its like. really. you couldnt have made it anymore obvious that thats not zer0. and then his helmet gets knocked off and surprise! it's not him. i totally didnt already figure that out with one glance 10 seconds ago. (maybe even earlier when you got glimpses of him around the building but i always missed it cuz i was looking at the fish tanks n shit)

also the tannis reveal. she was speaking to me in the same way that only known siren characters could. weird unexplained things were happening and seemed to be related to tannis. i wonder if she's a siren? surprise! she's a siren.

tyreen and troy knew about the great vault through some unknown means. typhon was talking about having a son and a daughter who he told stories about the great vault. typhon calls tyreen his daughter a while later and lilith acts surprised like honey ur a little slow, i figured that out several lines ago.

basically i'm not saying they were so obvious that i knew from the beginning of the game; i only figured them out a little before they were outright stated. but it was enough that it kinda ruined the effect and the characters acting surprised only when it was blatantly spelled out for them just made it annoying.

i feel like most of this is pretty negative, but i don’t mean that i hate the game and was miserable playing it. it was honestly okay...like i said i wanted to like it, but gearbox hates me specifically and killed/ruined all my faves just to spite me sooo...*waves hand back and forth in a sort of “ehhh” gesture*. i think my opinion on bl games from most to least fav would be: tftbl, bltps, bl2, bl3, and bl1. so it’s not the worst, but deeefinitely not one of my faves. i mean jack’s not in it (or if he is he doesn’t have a big role) so it’s already at a huge disadvantage. the ending was ok, it was all dramatic n stuff and it kinda makes sense i guess, but it was just about as okay as the rest of the game really. i don’t hate it but it’s not great either yknow?

[ryodan]

Do all evens!

1. selfie2. what would you name your future kids? Undecided??? I like the name Rayaan (not Ryan,, Rayaan which is the name of a river in the Islamic depiction of paradise) for boys? But undecided. 3. do you miss anyone?4. what are you looking forward to? Going home.5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?6. is it hard for you to get over someone? Surprisingly? Not really. 7. what was your life like last year?8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Yes, always when I’m on my period 9. who did you last see in person?10. are you good at hiding your feelings? Not really but it depends on who I’m with.11. are you listening to music right now?12. what is something you want right now? Not to fail my exams. Sushi.13. how do you feel right now?14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? Yesterday. 15. personality description16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Yes, many times. 17. opinion on insecurities.18. do you miss how things were a year ago? Not really. 2 years ago tho? Yes.19. have you ever been to New York?20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Yes I’m changing by tame impala21. age and birthday?22. description of crush. He’s very attractive all my friends are like damn girl good taste?? Curly dark hair and blue eyes. Pretty tall. Very artistic, he’s a photographer who’s well traveled because he wins in competitions that have travel ticket prizes. Likes physics god bless. Is Algerian and I love Algerian men. I have 0 chances with him though because he happens to be my brothers friend and his brother happens to be my brothers room mate and best friend. He probably has too much dignity to ever romance me lmao. 23. fear(s)24. height: 5'5925. role model26. idol(s) Harry styles is just very kind and takes such pride in being unique and just being himself? The rest of one direction too except maybe Liam and zayn no shade no tea I love them but they are dumb. Malala yousef is a girl who payed the ultimate price for peace without being a pacifist. Fatima bint Muhammed (the daughter of the final prophet in Islam and a woman nicknamed the most beautiful one with the most generous of hearts for how charitable she was). Fatima Al fihri (the woman who opened the first ever university) Asia imraat phiraon (the wife of the Pharoah in the Islamic telling of the story who was tortured endlessly but refused to give up what she believed in..her last words as she smiled in the face of death were ‘God build for me a house in your paradise’ and he gave her a castle instead). Mary mother of Jesus (in the Islamic telling of the story, of course the mother of Jesus who endured endless slander but stood firm and confident in the face of adversity. The only woman who served in the temple of Solomon despite the sexist views back in the day, a woman so highly revered that the Quran says she is favoured by God above all women). Rufaida Al Aslamia (the first nurse to ever perform surgery). Angelina Jolie. Galileo. Abraham. (In the Islamic telling of the story, I just greatly appreciate how when his dad shunned him he said 'may peace be upon you ill ask my lord to forgive you’. Also that man is iconic and basically created the 3 most major ideologies of today??). Jesus (in the Islamic and Christian telling of the story, this man is just a hipster who wants peace and love and hates hate. I love him) Muhammed Ibn Abdullah (aka?? The most iconic man to have ever lived?? My prophet??? I converted to Islam and I’m just really glad that we have this beautiful generous man as our final prophet)27. things i hate28. i’ll love you if… you’re easy to talk to and we vibe. Plus if you have gud food resources.29. favourite film(s)30. favourite tv show(s) The Simpsons. The office. Futurama. Seinfeld. Friends. Rick and morty. GOT. Monk. Dexter. Scream queens. AHS.31. 3 random facts32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? Girls tbh. although I have guy friends too, girls just get me and I love us.33. something you want to learn34. most embarrassing moment my literal entire existence but my uncle caught me scratching my ass once at age 7. During my phallic stage I was caught by my brother being a weird kid in front of the mirror?? I leaned back from my school principal trying to kiss me on the cheek and she looked so offended. In a debate competition (which I won first place in muahaha) I accidentally said we should give bullies drugs in front of like a100 people. I laughed in a play and caused a domino effect. I’ve crashed into multiple glass doors with too many confidence. I’ve eaten chips laced with sewage water. I pretended i knew the lyrics to Hannah Montanas theme song so I could fit in with the Kool kidzz and got put on the spot only to sing 'you get the best of both worlds hottest nannaaananan’. I yelled at a bunch of Saudis a very racist slur (listen i was 11) and got a slap to the face in the middle of the supermarket. Got caught giving my friend a back massage in a shady place at school,, she was moaning,,,I was on top of her,,,you can guess what they assumed. Got caught pretending to be a worm with my best friend in the audio visual room?? We were acting out the worm kink fic. lucky me though, I have about 0 shame??? Like wow I have a pee problem that my teachers say I’m way too open about. When I went to the doctor and he expected me to be shy but I was like yeah man I piss a lot and nah it doesn’t burn my urethra,, he was very surprised at my lack of shame. So there’s that.35. favourite subject36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? Live independently. Get a successful career. Do some research in my field 37. favourite actor/actress38. favourite comedian(s) fuck I do stand up so this is hard to narrow down. Louis Ck is a classic. Bo Burnham. Daniel Sloss. Russell Peters. David Chappell. Russell Howard. 39. favourite sport(s)40. favourite memory don’t really have one? Either playing in the snow in France? Visiting Disney for the first time? Playing with my brothers when our parents travelled? My first farawell party? Not sure tbh. 41. relationship status42. favourite book(s) A brief history of time. Energy the subtle concept. Astrophysics for people in a hurry. Everyday. Wonder. The complete works of Oscar Wilde. The Harry Potter series.43. favourite song ever44. age you get mistaken for: 22 lolol45. how you found out about your idol46. what my last text message says: my friend sent this 'My cousin’s aunts and grandma sent me a video where all of them talked to me personally in it and they reminded me of the memories we had and now im crying’47. turn ons48. turn offs: Loud eating. Loud breathing. Loud talking (even though it’s what I do). Talking over me. Being pompous. Being overly serious or stern. 49. where i want to be right now50. favourite picture of your idol. Can’t add that on phone.51. starsign52. something i’m talented at: I can sing (I’ve won a talent show!). I can draw although I’m not that great and it’s limited to Manga style drawings. I can write, specially targeted writing like articles and speeches. I can memorise things really fast bc eidetic memory so I’m always that fact bank my friends come to. Most importantly my number one talent is speaking. Sounds silly but talking is what I do best. Public speaking, stand up that makes people laugh and debates are always things I get first place in and it’s where I feel most confident in myself.53. 5 things that make me happy54. something thats worrying me at the moment: Exams. Exams. Exams. Exams. Exams. My future. Exams.55. tumblr friends56. favourite food(s) sushi and burgers 57. favourite animal(s)58. description of my best friend: she is 5'3. Has chestnut coloured hair and brown eyes. She’s pretty. Very Palestinian. Very funny. Very hard working. Like insanely hard working. Like teachers tell her to chill hardworking. Weird. A great listener. Secretive but I appreciate that about her since I’m secretive too. 59. why i joined tumblr60. ask me anything you want: go for it. Thanks anon! Hope my embarrassing feats don’t make you unfollow me.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

what the... fuck?

yet again we start off with a cutscene that looks like its from a completely different game... or low quality anime

-

...why are we starting off in court

-

“who brings a defendant to his own trial late”

why... is this sentence not processing 

for the life of me i have no idea what that means;

-

simon: you can just SCARE the judge into not giving a fuck about shit like being late, or threatening people under the guise of clever psychological manipulation!

also hi again simon

are you ready to be fun and likeable and not awful ?? I'm excited!

-

“i wish he'd stop treating me like a child all the time”

hey, old habits die hard.

-

simons already doing well by being an overprotective dork... so far so good. dont disappoint me, samurai.

-

our defendant is drunk

we’re off to an excellent start!

-

what... accent is this...

oh its drunkinese ok 

-

“three sheets to the wind”

ive never heard that one

maybe they can get away with having a drunk guy but they cant actually say drunk?

-

somebody get this guy some raw eggs and hotsauce??

wow hes drunk enough to be close to vomiting? he’s not acting hungover so I'm assuming that he’s been drinking up till now. and simon was last with him, so...

yeah I'm blaming simon for this

-

“ive known athena longer than ive known bucky”

“ive frequented his soba restaurant”

contradiction! simon was in jail up until very recently, and knew Athena for a very short period of time during her childhood. unless he met Bucky right after taking care of athena, it’s not possible that he’s known her longer. that or i guess he could just walk right out of jail to get noodles.

-

“meat slapped between slabs of bread...”

oh no ya dont, translation team. you made your burger bed, now you have to lie in it. no mocking the joke now.

-

quit being so tsundere simon. and yes I'm giving you the luxury of being tsundere and not just an asshole who’d prefer the company of men he once tried to cut to ribbons just because Athena’s a girl. because I'm in a good mood today!

-

a) scariest ringtone to date

b) he runs that place alone?? sucks to be buck

-

please stop doing the vomit animation its making me uncomfortable 

-

“this is no time for idle chatter”

oh simon, you obviously dont know what a chekov’s... um, conversation is.

-

wow so not only are we starting in the court room, but Sadmad said his prayers already. This is shaping up to be a rushed case.

...because obviously this is just filler before we get back to the Oh-So Delightful Adventures in Lawyer Land

-

edgeworth called him back for this case?? ...why???

-

Sadmad: I could be less horrible now that I owe the WAA a favourOR I could threaten to send a young lady to hell for just doing her job!!!! GO SADMAD, GO SADMAD

-

...dont call her a spring chick.

-

wait wait MAY 12TH?!

They just finished Maya’s trial and Edgeworth hauls Sadmad back to America over night?? How the fuck does Sadmad think he’s more prepared than us?? He had about the same amount of time to prepare!

-

I’ve got a good feeling about this case

-

Sadmad just let that poor butterfly rest jfc the aesthetic isn't that important 

-

“this guy stole the deed to this other guys shop, so other guy KILLED HIM to get it back”

yes, brilliant deduction, not an overreaction at all

-

Sadmad, you literally got back here at like 1 am last night. Go fuck yourself and leave Athena alone.

-

So Apollo’s a  red pepper, Athena’s an egg yolk... But there aren’t any blue foods, so Phoenix is just stuck being called ‘putrid’ in general.

Anyway cut Athena some slack. She’s already progressed far beyond having a breakdown in court because someone talked over her. 

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR SIMON BLACKQUILL,

-

“Simon!! You didnt tell me you were taking the stand!!!”

“There wasn’t time...”

no time at all during that 5 minutes you spent in the lobby. But I'm laughin’ so I’m not judging. Also I missed that theme...

-

AW  YIS

THROW DOWN SIMON

he’s the lesser of two evils this time; I'm ready to back him up! Simon in the blue corner, ding ding!!!!

-

half-awake sadmad looks up “rakugo” on wikipedia at 3 am

“yeah that should do it”

...and memorizes the whole article apparently

(coughmartystucough)

-

Sadmad: No wasting time!! This soul must get to the afterlife post-haste! You’re all putrid lumps of fecal matter for putting off the last ri–– wait, an opportunity to gloat?! Hold onto your hats, baby! The next twenty minutes are mine!!!

-

(weeps) thank you Athena

-

simon will remember this (you blackguard)

-

sexy pan up shot for–– oh, it really is a “sexy” pan up shot this time

except for those... soulless eyes...

-

aw nuts she has that drone-y X people theme. 

-

OH GOD 

OH GOD YOUR BOOBS

THAT WOULD HURT SO FUCKING MUCH

IM CLUTCHING MY CHEST JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but I'm also chortling at the booby jokes teehee

-

“Never show sadness! Smile, smile, smile! With a twisty-twist-twist!”

Hey, it’s the new motto of ace attorney! Your self worth is based solely on how well you can cover up your less palatable feelings! Yaaaay!!

...also I’m calling it now, she did it.

-

i think her balloons are pretty impressive, athena

-

420 WE GOT ONE FOLKS

-

“Sad Monk Sadmahdi”

simon, youre gaining brownie points fast

-

Lang Zi says... Oh, uh I mean, the Kooraheenist Bible says......

-

“I’m checking in with the big tough old man prosecutor because i underestimate this small, young, female defence attorney”

I'm getting flashbacks to Turnabout Beginnings. and not good ones. 

You kick it, girl. tell them off.

-

nice! the judge is on our side!

-

why did she mention the dog barking a lot if it was only because he was hungry?

-

that is one hongry dog

something about the dog just burying the rest of the food is making me laugh

-

oh so that was important eh

hmm

-

has athena always done this double-slam thing, or is this new?

-

Athena: Witness, I think you might’ve been lying a little bit 

Sadmad: Vile hitler-satan, I cast you down to hell for your debauchery, how dare you insinuate that this case has more to it than what is readily viewable on the surface? Tsk tsk, so inexperienced, so putrid, 

-

“What? The gallery doesn’t get a say in this!”

They’re not a jury, you know!!!

-

“Why is the whole gallery siding with prosecutor sadmadhi?”

it’s because he’s hot, athena. thats the only reason anybody likes him.

-

tbh I'm actually pretty proud of Athena

same time last year Sadmad would have put her in a panic-stupor. but not today. Kudos on working that out, kiddo. You’re moving up!

-

...wait a minute

“with a little push, you could succumb to despair”

>despair

does Sadmad know? Does he know about her PTSD? If so... He’s deliberately TRYING TO TRIGGER HER SO THAT HE CAN WIN THE CASE?!

WHAT THE FUCK

-

oh boy!! OH BOY!! a dying message!!! THOSE ARE FOOL PROOF, AS PROVED BY EVERY SINGLE CASE IN THIS SERIES TO CONTAIN ONE!!

-

“That makes perfect sense, doesn't it!”

Yes... the man who suffocated to death somehow had time to leave a clue to his killer...

...you do realize that to be suffocated, the killer has to be there the whole time, right? if there’s nothing in his lungs and no trace of poison in his stomach, then it has to have been manual suffocation, either by strangulation (though we have yet to hear about any marks on his neck) or by covering his mouth and nose. 

so youre implying that rather than fighting back, the old coot rearranged a bunch of playing cards... in plain view of his aggressor

yet again, Sadmad makes a brilliant fool proof deduction.

-

ohhh my god he’s still trying to do it. HE’S STILL TRYING TO TRIGGER HER. I SWEAR TO FUCK, he’s been tolerable–– very thinly tolerable up until now. But this is just disgusting. This is brazen, malicious cheating. I don’t care if he turns out to be jesus himself when the inevitable “urhurhur he was good all along!!” twist shows up; I’m not forgetting this.

-

Damnit , Athena, don’t fucking listen to him. Don’t listen to a word he fuckin says.

Man I’ve never been so happy to see Simon. Little bit of the pot-calling-the-kettle-black here since Simon’s MO is to threaten and manipulate–– err, ah, use psychology!! to influence people, but I hate Sadmad so much that I don’t care.

-

“To think, you were so easily manipulated by his parlour tricks...”

Watch it, Simon. You’re the lesser of two evils this time, but that doesn’t exempt you from criticism. As a psychologist, you should know WHY it worked so well on Athena and you should be SENSITIVE about it. 

You’re cleared of all charges, remember?? You don’t have to pretend to be a douchebag to keep up your ill-thought-out plan anymore.

-

“I’m not girding up anything in this skirt!”

well i just don't know what to say to that

-

Oh boy here comes Uendo.

Everyone seems to love him so I’m hoping he’ll be a reprieve from Sadmad’s......... everything 

-

Sexy pan up shot of... a guy on a bunch of flower bags. With his own theme song!

-

so far I'm loving his animations and I'm always a slut for shitty puns!!

let’s see... blush stickers for the goofy one, hair forwards and eyeshadow for the lady. Clever little things that make each one of his characters different. He's definitely a fun character so far!

-

ah I'm really enjoying his dialogue 

ill bet the translators had a ball with this

-

won't you PLEASE laugh at my PUN!!!

its ok uendy, i thought it was good.

-

“Silence is more precious than diamonds”, eh?

I can definitely see which Sadmad values more...

-

ooh a spit take! not since godot have we been blessed... also i notice they've dialled up the rock guitar in Athena’s theme. Personally don’t see it as an improvement but eh

-

“yes, making it look like the man drowned was obviously because the culprit hated him and wanted to desecrate his corpse instead of getting the fuck out of there quicker like any killer would”

not to make it look like 

he’d drowned in the bowl

to throw off the police.

of course not; that’d be too obvious.

another win for the great Sadlock Madholmes.

-

wait did Sadmad just say Objection?? I thought he didnt do that

also; duel of the growly voices

-

prosecutor sad monk. simon’s still a dick but at least his dickishness spreads to  people i dont like :3

-

ooh i love it when i can rearrange physical pictures

-

“you can put the cards back in their right place but if you cant explain them then youre fucked”

ever thought that maybe theyre irrelevant to the case and theyre just... cards?? sadmad??

i mean i know theyre not but they could easily have just been on the table when the murder happened. they could stand for absolutely nothing.

-

ahh... the sweet refreshing scent of common sense. you redeem yourself step by step, simon. i mean, when youre not being a dick about it.

-

“don’t testify.”

franziska tried this once. it was for an evil scheme. i dont want to have to threaten another witness with revealing a dark secret; that was depressing.

but at least we know meanwhile that Sadmad isn’t above dirty shit like shutting up a witness. .......not that we didnt know that before.......

-

“Are you trying to taunt him into talking? Such a petty trick will never work”

POT.

CALLING.

THE KETTLE.

JET BLACK, SADFUCK.

-

simon’s lucky he’s surrounded by idiots and people with poor impulse control, otherwise his “mind tricks” wouldn’t do shit

“to be turned by such an obvious ploy... what a man of weak spirit.”

for once, Sadmad, I gotta agree.

-

its time for 

Artistic!

License!

Psychologyyyyyyyyy!!!!

-

sadmad doesn't get his way: my god will smite you later :(((((

-

now that we’ve worn this non-joke out...

-

“seeing my master asleep just made me so fuckin sad...”

-

i love that anger has such a distinctive ping sound

-

please do not call your toe that

-

“You gotta fuss over every tiny detail like this?” yes, Uendo. That’s why I’m writing these !!

-

that box of buns keeps drawing my attention. i love buns

-

Simon, you could try using some positive reinforcement. Mia wasn’t soft on Phoenix, but she encouraged him to think and puzzle things out for himself; she didn’t just call him an idiot. All the time.

-

“as sharp as a trout”

what the fuck

-

“so thats how it works ! fascinating!”

its not like i spent a lot of time working under the woman who invented said matrix!

-

its kinda sad that Athena’s never seen multiple emotions in high dudgeon 

she must hang out with a lot of mild mannered people 

-

athena: ive just proved these words mean something detrimental to the witness

sadmad: erm but they mean nothing to me therefor they warrant no further investigation.

???

i stg most of Nahyuta’s “”””counter argumnets”””” are legitimately just him trying to disparage the obvious contradiction away.

-

again athena seems unable to believe that people can only feel one intense emotion at a time

should i be worried

-

silly AA, that’s not how DID works!

oh well, at least Uendo is the fun kind of DID, unlike other... side-splittingly shameful characters I could mention...

-

Pohlfuckya indeed sadmad

-

ROLE CALL

-

“You seem proud of yourself, but all youve done is infringe on the privacy of the witness”

(sweats) i hate it when Sadmad makes good points

-

its not really dissociative if you dont... um... dissociate.

-

Sadmad: let it go and––

Athena: Shut up!!

Sadmad: Let it g––

Athena: Sssh!!!

Sadmad: le––

Athena: SJSJSJSJ

-

“if words will not sway you, perhaps pain will”

eject

him

-

i dont... like that... the beads are around her torso.......

-

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE FUCKIN CUT THEM IN MID AIR

that deserves a fucking cutscene all on its own. its like the time Lang caught Franziska’s whip only cool and not bulshitty

...also you coulda maybe done that a lil earlier simon lol

-

“I dont give two flips”

all his flips have flown the coop

-

“but if Cykes dono were to submit to you here...”

DO NOT 

USE THE WORD SUBMIT

WHEN PRAYER BEAD BONDAGE IS INVOLVED

-

fuck you sadmad, not everyone has magic gary-stu powers that let them memorize everything about a single subject in one night.

-

once again sadmad wastes precious time and diamonds showing off

-

after this lengthy, lengthy, leeeeeengthy detour............ wouldyouliketoaddthisstatementtothetestimony?

-

“you look like a hen with a dozen eggs to say”

you can just say “constipated” and it'll be less creepy, simon

-

how could they... not tell... oh who cares

-

“we’ve got you by the stones now, Uendo!”

DAMN the TESTICLE references in this game!!!

-

“heres a big plot twist that i just convenientlyforgottomention urhurhurhr..”

spoken like a true prosecutor 

-

there was such a long pause there i thought he was building up to a pun

but of course he wasnt. sadmad isn't cool at all

-

heheh i just noticed that Bucky has hair noodles, just like Mr. Eldoon (tho Bucky’s dont appear to be a wig)

also its... very distressing to have a drunk client.

-

y’know i just realized

Sadmad is always talking about sending souls to the twilight realm in the proper way. but he's an international prosecutor. he’s probably prosecuted victims of all religious alignments.

isn't it kind of disrespectful to perform your religion’s funeral rites on someone who doesn’t practice it???

-

again, BK is only successful because Uendo is a moron

to be fair though, that was one of his better ones.

-

“You were leading the witness!”

I...

Just, fuckin’. Please stop making good points, sadmad. I don’t want to be enraged with you, I want to be enraged AT You!!

...well i mean I don’t want to but i hate it when you bring up excellent points.

-

anyway why doesn't sadmad want them to find Owen anyway. if it comes to nothing, who cares? can you just not stand having people who aren’t you waste time??

-

again... DID doesn’t work like that........

-

macbeth, starring athena cykes and simon blackquill

-

hey i jusT REALIZED WHERE’S TAKA

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thats,,, reallllllyy not how DID works,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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highfalutin’

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“if you see one, there are likely thirty in your home’

thirty what

WTHIRTY WHAT

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look if you knew how DID is supposed to work you'd probably have a good hypothesis by now. not an... ethical one to implement, but a working one.

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i guess Uendo just never sleeps then, because apparently falling unconscious calls out another personality.

...brilliant.

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Simon: STOP BEING SO NERVOUS. IS MY NAGGING AND DISAPPOINTMENT SOOTHING YOU???? IS IT?????!!!!

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the time honoured tradition of turning a slip of paper over... truly, this is an Ace Attorney game 

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dude.... if you conk out from the trace amounts of alcohol in a bun, you should maybe visit a doctor possibly 

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“hmm, yes, i will allow you to render this man unconscious from alcohol.”

classic judge!!

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au where blackqyil is a very angsty delivery boy

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BABY

THERE HE IS

MY PRECIOUS BIRD

I WAS SO SCARED SOEMTHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU

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...that bird is going to fly into a shop, terrorize the workers, steal bean buns and (hopefully) drop a twenty on the counter as he flies the coop

awesome 

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phew that was a long court... but wait if this is a half-episode (which it probably is) and it started on a court day...

no investigation?! RIP OFF

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gonna cut this one off here. till next time...

[11toe11-blog]

a play in progress

Aum.

I request permission to enter the gates of imagination. May i be able to observe, listen and understand. I request for strength and guidance not to be tempted by greed  and other shades of power. I request illumination and insight and wisdom for the collective whole. Inspire us all into our light.

Shanti. Shanti SHanti.

Aum

____

An actor, perform a scene and is stepping out of the performance space into the wings. People are greeting her, she is unsure of who she is. She is aware of the character she just played. He knows clearly the character she is going to play. Who is she inbetween? How is she to relate to those around him? 

Is she still acting? When did the character end?

How is he to recognise his family and friends? How is he to recognise himself?

Maybe she can keep an assistant. To keep reminding her who she is. Which character she is to assume in the moment - more importantly when to assume the character of herself.

She was playing Karna, in Karna Bharam. The warrior archetype is so familiar.

In a movie set, the scene is seduction. Theat archetype is familiar too.

Her partner is a woman. What role does she play there?

A man gifted with the very tools to create identities is also a man gifted with the knowledge to discard the veils of identities. And find herself in a moment in time, in a limbo of uncertainty. WHo is she really?

A family. The mother calls up the daughter to ask - did your father lend money to my brother ever? She doesnt remember. She feels cant ask her brother without spoiling relations. She feels her husband is cooking up stories. Or is it a memory that is altering itself, depending on how he sees himself?

Act 1

A right knee.

Is wobbly

A bit drunk and weepy

Is propped up by sticks 

Comes across a circus manager

Who offers it a job

Of a clown

Right knee is offended

What, a clown?!

 I want to be the lion tamer

Who wants to be the clown

Sure. Try. If it doent work go and be the clown

Right knee walks into the lion cage

Does all sorts of things, no work

<improvise this>

Comes out wobbling. 

Refuses the  clown costume

Looks up and sees the trappers artists

Ill be that

Attempts the trapeze

Adventures. Begins having fun. 

But cannot do more than a jump or two

Im more for gavity

Goes to the jumbo elephant

Does a few things with him

Cracks up the elephant

And becomes friends

Sight-adichifies the very flexible plate spinners

Manages the back bends etc

But cant focus for longer than a few counts

Send plates crashing around him

You are our star attraction.

Just keep trying.

Dont persist in one thing for long time

Just keep trying.

Act 2

The right knee

All famous, in the posters

So successful, at failing

The star attraction of the circus

All this work, non stop

And he is wobbling less

He can trappeese a few more loops now

But gives up on two

Now he is expected to

He can stand straight enough to look the lion in the eye

But now wilts over intentionally

The elephant he want to sit quiety with,

But has to keep making silly jokes

The spinners he can spin with, may be breaks a few more plates

To ge the laughs

The stronger he got, the more confident he got

The sadder he felt

And he didnt know why

Preferring to sit by himself

Or pretending to be wobblier than he was

One day he watched a monk walk by

Behind him tramp limped on

A few more days of shows.

And then he disappeared

Act 3

Well, said the elephant

He did the whole round of trappeeze, tamed the lion, balanced on the elephant,

Spun plates, went back and said bye to me.

And thats that. 

And suddenly the door opens and right knee storms in

Dressed all clown

He starts on the trappese and everyone is watching seriously.

Mid way though he lets it go, and laughs and shreiks as he falls down

The lion cage he stands looks straight at the lion

And leans over with eyes closed and kissed the lion on the mouth

On the elephant he get and falls into deep sleep on the elephant backs

And is all joy, like a bouncing baybee as the elephant tosses him around

With the plate spinners, he got himself a big meal and kept eating while they spun plates  

Thats it. He was at the circus, the right knee.

And he was greatly as clown.

Rivers of mango lava

___

Aum. i Leave this space of fantasy. Closing the doors quietly behind me. Thank you, for guiding me into insight safely. I will be back for more to work deeper. Until then , mother. Thank you.

[butterflyinaweb-blog]

Teeth and Blood

Sometime around the Winter of 1976

In Muncie IN

Talia's parents took her with them to visit Rob and Julie Slaven. 

Talia feels out of place because she doesn’t know them very well. She doesn’t know their son at all. Her parents urge her to go play outside with their son but to stay close. Talia doesn’t want to. She feels uncomfortable and shy. In the end she obeys and their son Sean takes her outside to play. There really isn't anything to do outside though. No toys at all out here. So they mostly walk around the yard.

 Talia sees this beautiful wolf dog chained to a doghouse. She stops to stare. He says "Do you want to pet him?" Talia says "Yes." Sean says he does to but the dog is mean and tries to bite him. Talia says "Oh " her disappointment is very evident. Sean tells her "You can still pet him. He doesn't like boys because they tease him and throw rocks at him. He likes girls though." Talia  says " I don't know Sean. He doesn't know me. How would he know I am not like the boys who throw rocks at him?" Sean tells her, " Dogs just know and besides he really likes girls." Talia isn’t sure. 

Talia sits on the ground watching him. Soon two girls come and pet him .. he's happy to see them and starts wagging his tail. Sean says "See. I told you he likes girls."  

Talia stands up and starts over to the dog and just as her little hand reaches up to pet him. The dog latches onto her hand and jerks her in. All Talia can see is teeth and then nothing but red and teeth. She hears a lady screaming and then hears her Mommy screaming. She is too scared to make a sound. She goes limp hoping the dog will realize she's friendly and stop biting her. Talia knows she is going to die. She understands the red is her blood. She knows the pretty dog wants to kill her. Then the dog flies sideways off of her making a weird sound like the air had been knocked out of it.

She feels someone pick her up .. then they start running with her. The red blood clears away from her eyes.. and she sees her Daddy over this person's shoulder. He is beating the dog with a board. Talia cries out .. " No Daddy! Don't hurt him. He didn't know I was friendly." The man carrying her stops running and looks down at her. Talia is trying to wipe the blood from her eyes so she can see him. He screams. "She's alive! She's alive!" Talia sees his face light up and he's smiling down at her. He wipes away the blood. He says We got to get that to stop and he starts to run again and Talia sees her Mommy on the ground and screams for her. He slows to a stop again.

He tries to tell her Mommy she's alive but her Mommy is balled up and looks like she's in pain. Talia looks at the man and asks "Did the pretty dog get her too?!" He said " No sweetie. She thinks.. we all thought you were dead because you weren't moving or crying. I am so glad your not but we have to get you to a doctor. Your Mommy is fine." Then he was running again.

Nothing was clear after that for Talia. People were there moving fast all around her then the next thing she knew she was waking up and a nice man was smiling at her. She looks around expecting to see her Mommy only she is not there.  "Where is my Mommy?"  He said "She's talking to some people about what happened and some other things. " Talia said " I want my Mommy." He looked away and said , " I will take you to Mommy soon... I hope. Are you hungry? Would you like a happy meal?" Talia nodded but said " Will Mommy be there too?" He frowned a little and said , " No sweetie. Mommy has to explain some things to some people before we can go to her but as soon as I can take you back to her.. I promise I will." Talia is curious what people her mommy has to explain stuff too and what stuff she had to explain so her next questions were nonstop. The man looked uncomfortable but soon he was ordering her a happy meal. As she ate Talia was quiet but starting to get scared because she didn't know where her Mommy was. Wouldn't she be here if she knew she was alive? She really needed her Mommy now because she kept picturing the pretty dog with his teeth and all the blood.  As it started to get dark the man woke her up and said, " I am taking you to your Mommy now."

When they got there Talia tried to ask her Mommy why she wasn't there and to tell her she had been really scared. That it scared her even more that she didn’t know where she was. They just picked her up yelled “See while your asking us  all these questions you’ve traumatized her even more “ at the other people in the room. Talia can’t hear what the people were saying over her Mommy and Daddy yelling at them. Then they huff out into the cold air outside and get into the car. Talia tries to ask why they were yelling. What did the people do but she is ignored as she’s put into the back seat. They drive home. Talia feels like something is wrong but she also feels very safe because now Mommy and Daddy are where she can see them. 

A few months later Talia is outside playing when this little dog runs at her barking. Talia screams in terror and climbs a tree. All she can see is it’s teeth and she remembers the blood. 

Talia's Dad runs outside and sees this tiny dog. Relief is evident on his face and he yells, “You almost gave me a heart attack! What the hell is wro... " His words stopped dead as he realized Talia was truly terrified and staring at this tiny little dog like it was going to kill her. Linda joins him on the sidewalk .. He raises an arm towards Talia in the tree and starts pacing and running his hand through his hair yelling .. " I can't have her terrified of every dog she sees like that!  Look at her! He points at the little dog and says , " Look at how terrified she is of that!" They both coax her out of the tree but it takes almost an hour and even then Jody had to climb the tree to get her out of it.  Linda is screaming at her " Stop it! Stop this right now! "  

Several weeks later It's raining and Talia is sitting in the back seat of the car with her aunt and uncle while her Mom and Dad go up to a strange house. It's gloomy out and thundering all around the car. Talia doesn't like this. She sees a man come to the door in a monks robe. Her Mom and Dad go inside.

She asks her aunt " Why are we here?" Her uncle answers. " To get you a puppy." Talia screams in horror " No!" Her aunt pipes up.  " Thats just great John !" He said, "What?! All kids like puppies." Ruby shakes her head. " Well not Talia. Not after what happened to her." She growled. John says " What happened to her? " He looks back and sees the scars on her face. " Did a dog hurt you honey?" Talia gets quiet and pulls her legs up against her chest thinking about having to ride back with a dog in the car. John frowns " I am sorry baby. I didn't know." Talia starts to cry.

John gets out of the car and opens her door and hugs her kissing the top of her head. Talia tries to tell him to take her home before they come out. John says " Im sorry baby I can't leave your Mom and Dad here .. they won't have a way home." Just then Linda runs out of the building with something in her coat. Then her Dad comes out as John shuts her door and goes back to his seat. Talia turns towards the window only glancing at her Mom as the puppies head pops out of her coat. Talia starts crying begging her to take it back inside. Her Dad yells, " No! God damn it! This is for your own damn good. I will not have you walking around your whole fucking life terrified everytime you see a damn dog!”

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: “mistakes were made” says the bard. cause she died.

today we took a trip to Elizander’s witcher school and Nazul gets 3 nat 20s in a row!

we start with everyone on the air ship. were going to make the legendary 99 cheese pizza as thanks/payment to master splinter and the turtles for helping out (and so Zack can level up to 20).

before we can however, we got a little distracted XD Spine went below deck to get working on...something. anything. he wants to distract himself from back story feels. Zack, Envoy, and Alicaria head down to the city to do some performances for money. a 300+ performance resulted is a parade and a holiday being made! NOT TO MENTION-

Coolie: its early spring? guess that means it’s Elizander’s birthday. me: THE PARADE IS IN HONOR OF HIS BIRTHDAY! Coolie: ALL witchers celebrate their birthday today- me: THE PARADE. IS IN HONOR. OF HIS BIRTHDAY.

Zack makes some dresses to prove hes a good tailor. after which we all accidentally leave the assassin alone in a town with a lot of assassin jobs for a few hours...

Envoy: wheres Nazul? *rolls low perception* hes not on deck so hes probably in the pokeball. Nazul: *makes a big display inorder to get the whole town’s attention for a public assassination* Envoy: *rolls low again* yup. in the pokeball. mmhmm. (i’ll get to Nazul’s HELLA AWESOME AND EXTRA EVIL ADVENTURE OF AWESOME at the end since no one was really there to see and he never regrouped with the party)

once everyone is settled in its time to make the legendary 99 cheese pizza!

we don’t get there quit yet however, so Envoy plays a cooking song to get us in the cooking mood. the DM said to just add the perform to our cooking scores as a 285 result created The LegenDAIRY 99 Cheese Pizza! lindsay: i have 99 cheese and yak aint one :D DM: roll will not to eat the pizza. everyone: *rolls* Sam: i got a 50, can i just smack people away from eating the pizza? DM: sure. you too coolie, roll will you’re in the pokeball. coolie: *passes* Tim: does sylvia have to roll too? DM: yes. she has to roll twice because shes having cravings. slyvia: *gets a 2 and a 3* DM: you all hear a crash. its as if someone kicked down a door. theres a Draconic Roar. Envoy:....the pregnant dragon monk smells the pizza you guys...

we had to use a sleep spell on her to keep her from 1. attacking everyone trying to get to the pizza and 2. eating the pizza. (don’t worry the baby was safe)

after delivering the pizza to master splinter and the turtles Zack stays and trains.

the Ranger took her pack and went hunting, killing a 6 legged horse and a saber tooth puma that tried to take the kill. Vale’s winged serpent friend constricted her because of a low bonding roll and fell asleep. Spine is entertained greatly.

Envoy, Elizander, and Alicaria go to the witcher school. its so bad that theres plant life and vines inside the building. the three head to the library where Elizander makes 3. nat. 20s. trying. to. read. a book.

me: Elixander is a GREAT student! he only gets nat20s when hes reading! Coolie: and yet im remembered more for breaking things....

after reading about some apocalyptic things (and Envoy casting bending on ALL THE BOOKS because HOW CAN YOU LEARN FROM A BOOK IF ITS FALLING APART! TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOOKS YOU LAZY WITCHERS!) Envoy and Alicaria go to the kitchen... its horribly gross so alicaria cleans it up DRUID STYLE! she creates water and floods it, whips it up with a storm, then gets rid of the water. sparkling clean now! and then they make a legendary cake that envoy cuts with Battle cry and gets a nat 20.

DM: you *laughs* you cut the cake and then throw it into the air, dancing around and slicing as if its a performance. the cake is cut into 6 perfect slices. eating it increases your crit range by 4. coolie: so if i eat it *laughing* my crit range is 6-20. me: WHAT THE FUDGE??? XD envoy: hows the birthday cake Eli? elizander: im going to save it for later.

being the only people on the ship at the moment, the ranger and necromancer fly off (cause Spine has wings. he has a breath weapon, wings, and is a lizard. hes a dragon. fight me.) and go to the kageet village.

Spine and Vale: *sees a pet ‘wildling’ on a leash* Spine: is... is that a pet??? do they have places to buy those???  Vale: keep moving Spine. Spine: but i WANT one!

Vale’s family is great. imagine a cat person holding another cat person by the scruff. thats how kajeet dad says hello to kajeet daughter.

vale’s mom: is your friend hungry? vale: Spine are you- Spine: food. Vale’s dad: *gets a live wildling and tosses it at Spine* Spine: *steven universe star eyes. he then eats it*

Alicaria goes off to hunt with her wolf while elizander gives a over stimulated Envoy a tour of the school.

Envoy: did you have classes? where are the class rooms? Elizander: dodge this class was out side. read class was in the library, and slice this class was also out side. Envoy: do you have a trophy hall? elizander: yeah. Envoy: do you have a trophy there? elizander: no- WAIT! *gets hydra scale* i CAN have a trophy there. Envoy: THEN LETS GO! *rides off* Elizander: envoy- envoy and yak: *falls through the floor* Elizander: oh...

could have flown but a nat1 resulted in the yak falling on envoy. there both dead.

“friend” of eli’s: what HAPPENED? Elizander: friend fell. “friend”: you KNOW the floor on that floor is dangerous! why did you let this happen? Elizander: i didn’t expect her to run off. the friend tries to atsy Eli, so Eli tries to counter sign him. failed. “friend”: you’re going to explain EVERYTHING to fltecher when he comes back! Elizander: okay. “friend”: and you’re gonna give me all your gold! Elizander: *wins roll* hey, heres a new sign for you to learn! FUCK YOU! *flips him off*

and now... the best effing moment of pure evil and death ever. WARNING. GRAPHIC.

Nazul gets a contract to publicly murder the heir of some wealth. the target is a half elf boy guarded by his caretaker, his uncle, and a templar. the two uncles are in on this (first uncle made the contract, second is currently a guard) and when Nazul sends his shadow double to tell him to run he doesn’t hesitate. the caretaker and templar guard the boy well, but it is not enough. the templar falls to a well placed dagger and the caretaker is reapped. not only that, but Nazul commits one of the True Evil acts and moprhs her soul into face paint. every attack he does is X10 for 24 hours. the boy is knocked out and taken to the middle of the town. a low roll results in a burtle killing, the daggers not going though all the way so Nazul has to saw the head off in the end.  Ghost boy goes and gets his pay but finds a note. “Kill his farther and you’ll get double the pay.” shadow melding back into the town he appears in the farther’s shadow, stabbing him in the kindeys and then ripping up, caising his organs to pour out. he is dead before his guards notice and his sword is taken as Nazul shadow melds away. he completed the deed so fast he catches his employer- the son’s uncle. turns out he was disowned and dethroned and wanted revenge. he is told to kill his wife “with my brother’s sword. make it painful.” and so Nazul does. a nat1 causes him to announce that hes here to kill the lady of the house and so Nazul goes in swinging! he is killed but revived when a guard spears him in the side, but a low will check results in the guard getting spectral branded and sent to attack the others. a second guard is sent into darkness as Nazul spider mans his way up to the top floor, killing guards and servants as he spins. once at the top floor he explodes one guy’s head and finds the lady gone. he figures out its a hidden door and follows after her. seeing that the stairs were made in a way to trip up pursuers he just shadow melds his way down. he finds her and a man servant in a boat. spectral chaining the boat he pulls them back to shore but the servant breaks the dagger breaking the spell. he dives in, swiming as graceful as- okay i was gonna make a joke but anything would be more graceful than Nazul swiming. he swims up, makes a low strength check so he tips the boat. he gets his target under him in the water and stabs her in the chest. shes bleeding and drowning (she got a reflex save that ment she was alive but if the sword moved at all she you die) so he yanks the sword out, gets out the water and kills the servant then falls down, thumbs up in the air and shouts “THAT WAS AWESOME!”

will Envoy and Shiba be brought back to life? what will Alicaria think when she realizes she left the bard and witcher alone for 5 minutes and one died? why is spine following cat lady? will nazul get back to the party or just get caught?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!