#im saving up for it but even when i have enough money | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thepeanutbutterwizard · 11 months

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fuck

#my grandma thinks that ron fuckwad desantis would make a good president #and my mom used to think that #before his faceoff with disney #fuck meeeeeeee i live in a super conservative state and cant afford to move out of my transphobic grandmas basement #let alone to a state thats safe for people like me #i wish i could get top surgery #im saving up for it but even when i have enough money #im not sure what my grandma would do #i cant exactly hide a surgery from her #everything ive read about the aftercare makes me think ill need/want help #so im worried about having it if im living on my own #and im legitimately scared that top surgery might be the line for grandma #and she'll throw me out #im scared #i hate being stuck between who i. amd the family i want to love me #some day i almost wish my parents had been awful enough to drive me away #bc then it might not hurt so much #if i hated them #and could just walk away without missing them #i wish they would lisyen to me #and actually hera what im trying to say #i wish i cpuld say all the stuff that gets stick in my chesy #because i know they do care #and want whats best for me #but i cant make them see what they think is best for me kills me inside #i wish they loved all of me

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hella1975 · 1 year

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im genuinely the dumbest person alive

#im so fucking angry with myself im SO stupid #like yes im only 20 ive never really handled my finances alone before #this is only my second year of paying rent EVER there was bound to be mistakes #and im lucky to have a family that can support me when those mistakes inevitably occur. but my fucking goddddd #basically i didnt plan ahead and turns out my TOTAL student loan for this year covers my TOTAL rent this year #but ofc the installments dont cooperate and the sums are different per semester etc #so instead of looking ahead and going 'oh shit my last loan won't be enough to cover my last rent installment'#and using that very easy to make observation to figure out that i need to be saving the leftover money from my loan throughout the year #i instead went 'omg i have leftover loan this term!' and fucking spent it #im short £600. im going to owe my parents £600 #and yes in the grand scheme it's not a huge amount of money like it could have been #but not only will i not be able to pay my parents back until july bc i CANT take out of my america savings #and i definitely cant start saving up £600 ON THE SIDE OF TRYING TO SAVE A GRAND FOR AMERICA #but on top of that being in debt to my mum is the worst thing in the entire world and now i have no choice but to be in debt for 3 months #before i can even start paying it back. like that's 3 entire months that she's going to use it as a stick to beat me with #like not only does she sometimes REFUSE to take money that i earn waitressing bc she insists on having the debt paid through actual labour #but she's also just a complete bitch about it and i know it's very spoilt to expect not only to be covered when i get into debt #but to also expect her to be nice about it but like. im not asking her to CODDLE me i get initially it makes sense for her to be angry #but she could at least acknowledge that i ALWAYS beat myself up over shit like this way more than anyone else will #like im so mad rn im trying not to cry just bc im so FRUSTRATED and the entire time she's fucking shouting in my face #about how she moved out at seventeen and had three jobs at uni and no one to support her etc etc #and just name-callling shit im already calling myself like it was an HONEST MISTAKE #she's acting like i purposely went behind her back and took £600 when i was very visibly horrified when i figured it out #and i immediately came clean to her regardless of how scared i was to admit it. im just so mad like i know i sound spoilt #and like im huffing and puffing over something that could have been SO MUCH WORSE if i didnt have my parents to cover me #but like. i can pay her back within 2 WEEKS of waitressing. ive never handled my rent before. i didn't do it on purpose #and im more annoyed with myself than she can ever be and she KNOWS that about me. so like. please dont shout at me lol #it's just i was SO proud of myself for saving for america and how hard ive worked and i should have known i was gonna fuck it up somehow #& now the £1500+ i'll total have saved for america that i worked so hard for is gonna be tainted bc i owe £600 all bc of my own stupidity #hella goes home

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transmechanicus · 1 year

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It is sunday night. I remain exhausted.

#my stuff #i tried everything this weekend and nothing is healing my Existential Ambivalence #like i know i cooked and i saw friends and i did my hobbies and normally i'd be proud of myself for all that but i just...don't care #i wanna call out sick or something tomorrow. I'm worried about my finances and i genuinely think im gonna have to move somewhere cheaper #like i was expecting my tax return to offset the slow bleed of money from my savings each month and that Is Not Happening #And its not like i have any way to Make More Money #bc im a grad student and we're contractually prevented from doing so #So that means i'll need to move when my lease is up this summer and i really don't fucking want to #i like where i live i just wish it wasn't so goddamn expensive on rent #even like $200 cheaper would be world changing for me #but no instead i gotta look at my bills after power and car insurance and food and be like oops guess i lost $100 this month #and god forbid i get coffee or eat out in the cheapest way possible bc somehow that adds up to like $100 the second i look away #im sick of being anxious about this!! im not eating enough as it is!!#i also don't wanna get a fucking roommate bc i don't want someone in a space i've come to consider my own #like sorry but im transgender do not fucking look at me stranger #so the only real solution is to move and that's such a fucking hassle and it doesn't solve the problem now and i just want this to get bettr #i wish all students a very $2000 raise forever #and all landlords a very Scrooge Moment that makes you cut my rent in half #ave omnissiah

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ouroboobos · 1 month

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i have spending shame like most people who grew up poor but unfortunately(?) i am also very much of the mind that money is meant to be spent and enjoyed as much as possible. so the result is that every time i buy a nonessential i get embarassed and regret it but i just keep spending money.

so basically i live in an endless cycle of buying something -> why the fuck did i do that -> selling the thing i just bought to make my money back but not at full price which means my savings are still worn down by my spending -> oooh look at that cute dress!!! -> why did i do that

#i have saved a lot of the money ive made over the past few years. i help pay rent but im fortunate enough not to have many other expenses #but i have to hold onto my savings since i want to move out and housing costs are fucking crazy. so i cant just spend all my money #but i also have a spending problem when im stressed and/or depressed so i make impulsive purchases #but even when i save up for months to get something expensive i rly rly want i freak out after and resell it #so i hardly ever enjoy the things i buy but i still gradually lose money from buying them. finance genius

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pleckthaniel · 2 years

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I love how my mom makes Growing Up Poor a huge part of her identity and talks about it constantly and also I, her child who she constantly brags about being smart and accomplished, am less than 6 months away from earning an Actual Degree in sociology and have taken half a dozen classes on American socioeconomic strata and yet despite all this I still cannot convince her that people my age aren’t being poor on purpose

#scout talks #no mom cooking at home would not save my friend who works 60 hours a week money it would make her even more exhausted and stressed #and substantially reduce her quality of life while also forcing her to spend more money in other areas to save the time she previously saved #by mostly subsisting on convenience food #if you're so damn concerned about all the $7 lattes we're buying and apparently making ourselves poor with #then maybe you should try agitating for a higher minimum wage so $7 isn't worth an entire hour of work #sociology major on main #''people shouldnt go to college if they cant afford to go to college'' if nobody went to college who couldnt afford it no one would go #like if no one ever paid for college on credit - as my mom proposes - i would be the only person i know in college #and that's because i have a full ride scholarship and pay rent out of a trust fund #if i wasnt EXTRAORDINARILY lucky with the family i was born into and the resources available to me growing up #it doesnt matter that im clearly smart enough to go to college. it would not have been an option for me #you KNOW this. because you are my mother and are intimately acquainted with my situation #why do you think IM the poor one out of my friends? me the kid who again PAYS RENT OUT OF A TRUST FUND SET UP WHEN I WAS BORN #ill shut up now. killing and biting forever etc

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stranger-awakening · 1 year

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dear friend i go to concerts with sent me a little tiktok that was just the prices of e*as tour tickets and i had to text back and say i can’t afford it do y’all know how like fucking embarrassing that is

#like tickets go on sale next week i got paid yesterday and i have less than half a ticket because i've got expenses and shit man #and sure i'd have enough for Maybe one ticket when i get paid next week but i can't be spending that kind of money right now anyway #im not even mad about it like i don't know if i wanted to go anyway really i just hate saying i can't afford something #it's always true but ... god #i'm usually the person that buys the tickets anyway and i don't ask to be paid back so that's like what $700 for two tickets #like i can't afford that period #and i'm saving up for october when hannah comes to visit which i cannot stress is so so so so so so much more important than a concert lmao #jess rants about life

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ocarinaofpride · 9 months

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looking for a job has been the most exhausting experience ever. nobody wants to hire me because im inexperienced… Id be lucky if i get anything back from a place i applied to LOL. i only had 1 interview so far and that was a month ago now. Im so lost i genuinely dont know what to do HOW THE FUCK DO I GET WORK EXPERIENCE IF I CANT WORK ANYWHERE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#SORRY FOR SUCH A RANDOM TANGENT BUT ITS BEEN HALF A YEAR SINCE I STARTED AVIDLY JOB SEARCHING #ive tried so hard to get something maan…. nobody even tries reaching out to me they just ghost me #I dont wanna give up on getting a job bc i need to start saving up money #but . what the fuck else can i really do #I cannot make money off of my art either #nobody really commissions me enough that i can have a semi regular flow of money coming into my account #im grateful to my friends that comm me every now and then bc they always come in clutch when i DO need some cash #aside from that i havent gotten a commission from anyone thats not a friend in over three years now #WHAT DO I DOOOO

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buttfacemcgee · 2 years

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hey since you gave tumblr money when it’s literally confirmed to have gained money from reverse racism ads and censored a trans man’s post for “female presenting nipples”, can you look up mutual aid in the search bar and give all the money you can to those in need

Sometimes I like having money myself and need it so no thanks

#a lot of them are scams #a lot of them when they cross my dash i literally cant give anything #my current car needs some work done and i need to save up for another cause i dont think shes going to last another year #what people do with their own money is their own fucking business and i have no reason to justify my spending habits #to someone who doesnt even have the balls to get off anon #if i had a big disposable income sure i would go nuts giving people money #but i only have a part time job dude. i still live with my parents. im still on welfare payments and im disabled.#i need every cent i get #sometimes small payments are made for joy #and again i dont have to fuckin justify it to anyone.#i want a pizza? ill get myself a pizza. i spend $7/month to not get annoying ads down my dash? i dont get the pizza #go after people who actually have enough money that $50 means nothing to them #and yes i mean aud #by 'a lot of them are scams' i do NOT mean the majority of course #theres just enough where you need to be cautious #how about you go petition richer people like redditors or whatever #so many on tumblr are struggling #ask #anon #i cant ever use this website again 4 promoting reverse racism ads #how dare they say white people cant dance #🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

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frecklystars · 2 years

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By work do you mean your job or commissions?

Oh, I mean my job. These commissions have nothing to do w/ my stress, they're scribbles and they're limited and I didn't underprice myself as much as last time + I've been doing them at a very steady pace. Commissions are good.

#im still underpricing myself tho i gotta work on that #anonymous #asks #im always referring to my store job when im talking abt work stressing me #yall have no idea. no fucking clue the things i have to put up with #i can write a novel on all the bullshit i deal with and it wouldnt be enough #i am so tired. i am so tired and shaky all the time and i am so stressed #i keep waking up with dozens of hives! if i even sleep at all #the worst part is that i barely get paid enough to buy my own groceries #let alone gas and bills #sometimes i just dont eat anything for a couple days bc i want to save money #i used to be able to get a cameo once a month #now i cant buy a t-shirt on etsy without having an anxiety attack #girl files for bankruptcy after buying one (1) bebop t-shirt

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chaotictomtom · 1 year

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sudden profound sadness cos this will be yet another summer without being able to go swim or just get topless to survive the summer's heat because im still too broke to save enough for top surgery or save any money really

#even if i had the chance to save up enough money i don't think ill would be able to afford the hospital stay + time to recovery bc ill need #to work to make up for all the money spend on that #finished the traineeship so i won't get the financial aid that went along with it so paying the rent will be tricky #saving up money for anything isn't even in the picture rn 💀💀💀#had like 100 not used at the end of january i was glad i could save up for once and guess what!! a fire happened lol!!!!#our new flat had furnitures with the contract but barely any LIKE NO CHAIR #or desks or anything to cook???? so every tiny bit of savings went in there and we still have to buy stuff for every day life #like all the shit we already went through AND MORE when we had our first flat like come one back yo square one wtf #anyway venting im sorry being born broke just doesn't really open up any fucking perspective for your future + it fucks w/ ur brain day1 #tomtom_is_rambling #tomtom_is_venting #tomtom wishes shit could be fucking easier

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29121996 · 13 hours

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#tax season is like . a month away i am . frothing at the mouth #im not getting my tats done here . im gonna put this money aside and save it for my tattoos #but im gonna go to brisb or smth 4 it .#idk man i dont . theres not many n i dont like a few or i dont think a few like me etc #so brisbane it is .#im goping to go away for my birthday fhis year Just for tattoos .#i mean id like to go to melb rlly but . u make do when ur financially in trouble !#idc how much debt im in I WILL be doing sgit in my own interest. i do Just Enough to avoid #someone kmocking at my door lmao #i am.srill a lil financially irrespomsible .#but u know what . its Balanced. i habe a good ish balance.#i have an Acerage Credit score and im Happy witg that !#and i Should be getting all. if not Most. of it back #bx i was Unemployed 4 . a solid 2 months so that Should even out my earnings bracket a Little .#idk i havent even Looked at it at all . i genuinely cannot rhink abr it .#my job history/earnings the last year have neen a trainwreck #right on cue w a 10h year btw. anyone shoxked astrology was Right.#oh thats fucked up.#anyway im smarter n loving my job and potentually abt to get . a new onw that pays bank AND seems so fun #so . im excited 4 that

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hexplaything · 1 month

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i have to go to class on my birthday this year and probably work toooo i'll feel so unspecial :(((

#if i accrue enough sick time i might take my bday off to be so honest #can't get out of class but it's only 4:15-5:45 so an hour and a half #good girl speaks #but i do have really bad feeling special syndrome on my bday.#i grew up with having really big summer parties for my bday like we always had a water slide every year #one year my parents rented slushee makers and we had pina colada #and it was like an all weekend thing for me #we would get the water slide friday evenings and have it til sunday afternoon #so i'd invite 2-4 friends for a weekend sleep over and we would just be on the slide all day #and on saturday was always the big day where like at least 40 people would come family n friends #so this definitely fucked with my perceptions of birthdays. i definitely feel like shit when im not the Star on my bday #which. is my own issue to work through but jesus christ my parents gave me so many COMPLEXES #and im grateful for the parties and that i was privileged enough that my parents would save up that money each year do not get me wrong #i just wish i knew how to handle it better yk? i feel crappy that im like internally an entitled kid about attention #idk this got venty and rambly but. another example of how i feel extremely childish in a bad way :/

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thatdemiboymess · 2 months

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Turning up the music to max volume and laying facedown on the bed because the mental health has hit rock bottom like DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT--

Thoughts of self harm and maybe suicidal ideation in the vent in the tags. Sorry.

#irl #vent #self harm mention #self harm #i am not having a good time today at all chat #my brain is giving me the itchy little localized signals in my wrists that are connected to the Bad Thoughts and Horrible Coping Mechanisms #and like honestly i feel like i should be fine but im not #shit sucks #almost started crying because i realized i forgot to grab some new exfoliating gloves while i was at the store #gonna be eating nothing but ramen and potatoes this month #im lonely and life feels like a really shitty time loop and im probably never gonna be able to get my cats and bring them here #because i need to somehow manage to save up $500 just for oet deposit and pet rent #when everything is month to month to month #i dont have any friends and i dont talk to my family and i sincerely feel like i could die and the only person that would know would be #my partner and even then thats because we live together #and when i do finally die its not like anyone will have known me #people that i should or used to be close with will find out eventually and theyll all call me by a name that isnt mine #using pronouns and words and descriptors that misrepresent me as a person #ect ect ECT #whatever #like whats even the point honestly????#i dont know what im doing here i just feel like a huge burden to everyone around me #dssi is barely enough for groceries but its not like i can get a job near me being legally blind #im just a big ol burdensome money sink lolol #just an overly needy little waste of space #i dunno #i dont know shit anymore #im so fucking tired all the time man #im just #so tired

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nomaishuttle · 7 months

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I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .

#im violently nauseous rn and ik its judt bc ive been in a straining position and also i ate like 20 slimjins but like km only gonna get 5 #hours of sleep maximum im gonna have a headache im so tired of everything i wanna have a day off but i cant. Its only tuesday and im #already liek Please can we be done please no more this week all done all done #im so fucking sick of working i dont want to have to work for the next 40 years Minimum. i hate everythingbon earth #i dont understand how ppl work fulltime and have a life i only get 2 live At all on weekends #and even then its only 1 day saturday bc sunday is my Doing all my chores and stuff day #so i do all my laundry i tidy up the room Et cetera. i dont udnerstand how people can just do this forever #it genuinely feels like. bc i leave 4 work at 6am. i get home around 5pm. im supposed to go to bed. well technically i should go 2 bed at #9 to get a full 9 hours but look man . that would give me 4 hours a day to be a person #so my bedtime is officially 10 but usually i go to bed at 12 which means i dont get enough sleep which means as soon as i getnoff work the #next day im even less willing to do anything #+ doing anything fun fucking costs money if not the thing itself the travel expenses. and if i spend money i just have to work to make that #money back i fucking hate it. and im doing this for what. so that in 40 years i can retire and then 10 years after that oh no unforeseen #expenses or something suddenly my retirement isnt cutting it i have to go work at fucking walmart or something as a 70 year old judt to #make ends meet. god. And when the fuck am i supposed to have kids i want kids very badly one day but how the fuck am i supposed to have #kids if id only be able to spend Maximum 6 hours a day with them. thats if my work is like Doectly next door.#how. how. how. less than 6 hours even bc theyd go to bed before i did so rly like 3 hours a day with my theoretical kids Im an awful #theoretical parent and maybe my theoretical spouse works less hours so they can be home with the kids but they resent me for always being #at fucking work 9 hours a fucking day and they resent me for not being there for our theoretical kids Im sorry theoretical partner i want #to fucking be there but SOMEBODY has to put money into our theoretical savings account. UGH!!!#i hate work i hate it i hate it #i dont even hate my job i just hate that its my entire fucking life #i hate that i essentially get half a day every week thats truly mine that i get to do whatever i want. and in my current situation i barely #even fucking get that idk.

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theood · 1 year

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I've been making so many adult phone calls recently and now Im playing will my doctor fill my t prescription, they haven't gotten back to me I've been off T since the day after my one month mark, they needed PA for my insurance to cover it, "we'll get back to you in one to two business days" it's been much longer, the pharmacy wont tell me when PA is required leaving me to wait longer, I still don't have a job, I have to call my doctor tomorrow to ask whats going on. If I get told anything with my insurance is fucky, that the PA didn't go through, I have to pay out of pocket I can't afford my T. I was so fucking happy to start it, I was over the moon I FELT happier, I was so excited to wake up every day, I haven't felt like that in so long and it all got torn from under me and I am trying to hard to stay positive and that it will all be okay because it HAS to be okay because I chose to live, because I chose to keep going, because I want to be alive, but all of this really takes it toll and I am just tired. I am so tired of being the adult. I've been playing adult for so long I want to step back and I cant and I have to keep going because that's just life and I just want one stable thing again

I want to be on T again. I want to be happy. I want to be myself. I chose to be happy why is that so hard too keep

#elias.zip #I guess. im not going to lie I feel very fucking defeated. I got told I would get an email from a place I applied to tonight. I will give #her a couple days bfore I try calling again and hope they don't blacklist me. Im going to ask to switch to shots because I cant keep doing #this PA stuff. I cant. i just want to get my T at reasonable times and have it when I need it. Why does everyone else get to have it no pr #oblem and I dont? I am doinf my best to stay positive I am trying to change how I let my internal dialogue talk but man it feels so fucking #right to me that I should just give up. Starting T was a joke. Im never getting on it again. I'll be 30 and no ones going to know Elias be #cause he doesnt exist and im never going to hear my name said and I was never meant to be happy and I will rot in my room just like I did #when I was younger and I never really left my childhood home. and I never grew up #and tomorrow im going to get up and make another adult phonecall and ask nicely about my prescription and if I can switch or if switching #would negate the PA request I am not told about and I will have to scrounge for money and save every penny and tell the voices #thank you for helping and hang up and go on with my day where I do nothing because I am nothing and then I will smile at everyone and #say I love you #I dont even have any money for shots or for needles. sure my insurance says they cover shots and shots usually provide less trouble but w #hat about the needles. the disposal. a safe place to put those. i cant ask my mom and dad. im alone in this. i cant pay anyone back. no #place wants a deadbeat as a hire and thats all I am to any job no matter how hopeful I come in. no one wants to work with me. no one wants #to train me. my teacher was right on how I was going to grow up.#and yet. again. tomorrow im going to wake up and go 'this is fine' and im going to call and act like everything is ok and assure myself its #ok because it has to be. if I tell myself that enough it has to be true. thats how it works #fake it till you make it and all that #just. man all the adults in my life were right about me lol

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straawberries · 4 months

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gonna make another post since that usually helps with reach

teehee poll for reach. please read the rest of this if you can

HI IM DELILAH AND IVE GOT LESS THAN 4 MONTHS BEFORE IM HOMELESS WITH NO OPTIONS FOR PLACES TO LIVE

heeyyy its me delilah. im an autistic plural trans girl with ptsd, and im living in an abusive household with my adoptive "father" that absolutely hates me. in less than 4 months, i am going to be kicked out, and i am trying to raise the money i need to survive this event.

ive been trying, pretty much every chance i get, to get a job, but i think because of this shitty small town in texas, everyone already knows who i am and nobody wants to hire me. this means i have to rely on stuff like this.

by JUNE 1ST 2024, i need to make enough money to move out, or else... well, i dont really know what will happen to me (other than vague "homelessness"), but im really scared that it wont end well.

on top of that im rarely being fed enough which is seriously fucking with my mood and making me feel like shit, so im having to balance saving and eating which.. with the money im currently getting, is not very sustainable. other than a few people giving a lot (who i am eternally thankful for and if youre able to do this i would basically do anything for you) im basically getting zero donations.

i get that this kind of stuff is annoying and maybe a bit slow, but just taking a few seconds, maybe a minute or two at most, to give me a small amount of money, would be a hell of a lot more helpful than doing nothing.

C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga

P*YP*L - @delilahkill

plenty of people use stuff like this to scam, so heres some info about me if you doubt that this is true. (copy pasted from previous post)

i have a really big love for performing, i fell in love with theatre years ago and performed the addams family musical as fester about a month ago as my biggest role on stage yet, and right now im in the process of getting ready for antigone as teiresius. i love music, and its one of my life goals to learn as many instruments as possible, and currently i own quite a few, though my favorites are my two ukuleles and my super cool electric guitar. i have 8 partners at the moment, and i have a very big desire to one day live with as many of them as i can. i pride myself on being the best partner i can be, and its been my goal to make all my partner's lives better (and i think ive been doing a good job at it :3)

i love cats an extreme amount, ive never had a cat myself (because my dad is insane and hates cats and tries to hit cats with his truck) but being around cats makes me super happy and always makes my anxieties go away, even when im having an anxiety attack or a panic attack. i really hope i can get a few cats one day, and i want to give them all silly food names :) my fursona is kind of a reflection of that, her name is bagel. some cat names ive thought of are mochi, chili, Supreme Pizza, or maybe french fry :)

im not sure if ill be able to achieve any of my goals if i dont get the financial support i need. ive been.. really close to giving up recently, but i dont want to have to do that, so im going to fight like this for as long as i can.

#undertale #pixel art #performing art #trans #autistic #actually autistic #urgent #help needed #please boost #mutual aid

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