#im shaking its cold and i hate having such strong feelings

[mrdixon]

sorry, i still love you

pairing: established daryl dixon x f!reader

wc: 1.8k

summary: soft apologies and kisses, or alt; your boyfriend is quite cute in a poncho.

warnings: slight angst…?

A/N: love daryl, love poncho daryl. need him to wrap me up in his big strong arms under his poncho…….. short fic SURPRISINGLY it being under 3k words shakes my bones but its okay because not all my fics have to be astronomically long………. also 100% not proofread im sorry i literally dont have the patience to read over my own work

masterlist!

It was a late night and you couldn’t sleep like usual. Sighing as you turned your head over to the window, slightly cracked open and letting a breeze through, the faint smell of wet grass from the rain filling your nostrils. The sky was dark, save for the twinkle of the stars and moon. You turned your head over to the nightstand, the clock reading 2:24 am, your gaze then travelling over to an empty picture frame that had a polaroid of you and Daryl wedged between the glass and frame. Picking it up and taking the polaroid between your fingers, it was during your stay at the Greene’s farm a few years ago.

You two didn’t know it yet but there was mutual feelings stirring up between you two, the photo capturing the moment you convinced Daryl to be in a photo with you. His grumpy expression didn’t hide the small smirk tugging at his lips as you wrapped your arms around him. You smiled fondly at the memory, still hearing his irritated grunt as you ushered him over to steal a picture. Tucking the photo back into the frame and setting it down on the nightstand you stared up at the ceiling, wondering where your boyfriend could be.

It wasn’t out of character for him to be out this late but it still worried you. It was normal for you to be unable to sleep without his warmth next to you, worrying about the worst. You tried really hard not to think about him getting bit but you couldn’t help it, he was capable of taking care of himself so why did you worry so much?

Sighing once again, you sat up, grabbing your necklace that held his initial. Biting at the small piece of metal, a thing you did when you were anxious, tasting the metallic tang. It wasn’t usually this hard for you to fall asleep without him, most nights you’d fall asleep at around 12 am. You were scared mostly.

You and Daryl had been going through a rough patch, most your time together was full of meaningless banter and arguments and you regretted it. It was hard to stay mad at him but you were stubborn, you both were. That fact alone was enough to drive you crazy because one day you’d argue and he wouldn’t return home, either because he got bitten or just got fed up with you. Nevertheless you were trying to change, you didn’t want either of you to die thinking you hated him because you didn’t. God you loved him so much, more than you thought was possible. More than those stupid pair of socks he got you on a random supply run, more than your morning cup of tea, even more than yourself.

You groaned, falling back onto the bed and closing your eyes. There was so much you wanted to say to him, to apologize for being an asshole, to tell him you really did love him. You opened your eyes slightly to look at the bedroom door, still closed… still waiting for him to walk through at any moment…. nope, still not home. You grumbled while placing your hands over your face and kicking your feet, taking a deep breath and rolling over onto your side. Okay, try to sleep… we can sleep… you’re sleeping… your eyes are closed… right?

You groaned again, almost frustrated at yourself for not being able to sleep. Finding yourself quite annoying at how dependent you are of Daryl. You sighed quietly, looking over at his side of the bed and running your hand across it. Empty and cold, the last time you saw him there was in the morning. Right after you argued about something so stupid you couldn’t even remember what it was, still seeing his bare back adorned with scars and tattoos as he got up and left to go out again. You swallowed thickly as you remembered how harsh you were earlier, now deciding to just stay up until he comes home. Wanting to apologize and just kiss him because when was the last time your lips felt his?

Suddenly you heard the door open, sitting up immediately and locking your eyes with the man who occupied your mind at all times. Daryl stood there at the door for a moment, his poncho draped over his body. A cute sight, he looked so small contrary to the fact that he was in fact, not. He stared at you skeptically as he placed his bag down on the floor next to the laundry bin.

“Wha’ are ya doin’ up?” He grumbled, slowly walking over to you and standing next to the bed where you sat. You couldn’t help but look up at him with a giddy smile, feeling relieved and happy that your boyfriend was finally here.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied simply as you looked him up and down, “you look so cute.” Daryl raised a brow, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in your words. He didn’t really know how to respond to compliments from you, especially after your argument this morning.

He scoffed lightly, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Cute? Really?” he murmured, his voice laced with amusement, “ain’ tha’ somethin’.” You giggled, reaching out to take his gloved hand in yours, his fingertips exposed as you ran your nails over them.

“C’mere,” you whispered, holding your arms out. He hesitated for a moment before kicking his boots off and moving into your arms, the two of you falling back onto the bed. His arms wrapped around your waist and held you close, his face buried in your shoulder while your own arms wrapped around his back.

The two of you lay like this in silence, it was rare for you two to share moments like these. Often times you were too scared to touch him, afraid he’d push you away. It was never like that for him, he craved your touch as much as you craved his. You both were just too worried about what the other might think that neither of you decided to make any moves. Tonight was different though, you lay there enjoying each other’s company without saying a word.

You heard him breathe in, nuzzling his nose against your shoulder. Finally he broke the comfortable silence. “You really don’ sleep much, do ya?” he asked, his voice low and gentle.

“Nope,” you whispered, nuzzling your face into his neck. “I miss you when you’re gone.” He hummed in response, squeezing you tighter as his body relaxed in exhaustion. You giggled before moving yourself under his poncho, poking your head out from where his was, you two sharing the poncho now.

Daryl felt a sense of contentment as he watched you snuggle closer to him under the poncho, your body heat filling him with love and desire. Wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer, using his other hand to stroke your hair gently and tilt your head up slightly to look into your eyes.

“Yeah, well I guess tha’s fair. We both got used to havin’ each other around,” he admitted softly, looking down at your lips and then back at your eyes while running his fingers through your hair affectionately. “It’s kinda hard ta go back ta bein’ alone after all the time we spent together.”

You nodded, letting him pull you closer to him. Your chest pressing against his as you both stared into each others eyes, his gaze wandering over your face as he tucked strand of hair behind your ear. He sighed, feeling his breath against your face. Despite everything you’d been through together—the fights, disagreements, banter—he knew he still cared for you, he still loved you. And right this moment he couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else by his side more than he wanted you.

“’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

You both murmured at the same time, shock evident in your expressions. He nibbled his lip, rubbing your chin with his thumb, eventually grazing the pad of it over your bottom lip. “Guess we’ll jus’ have ta make sure we never lose sight of each other again,” he mumbled, voice thick with regret.

You looked up at him, meeting his eyes as you reached up to comb your fingers through his hair. His gaze immediately softened and he let out a small huff while admiring your features up close, his fingers tracing over your jaw. He seemed to melt under your touch, slouching over which caused his face to lean closer to yours. He looked so cute like that, his bottom lip jutted out into a slight pout, his expression resembled a puppy.

Your hand stilled in his hair, pulling him closer and diminishing that small gap between you two and pressing your lips against his. If even possible, he seemed to melt even more, closing his eyes and kissing you back with equal need and affection. His hands gripped your waist tight but gentle under the poncho covering both your bodies, one hand holding the back of your head. He kissed you fervently, fingers digging into your hair as he swiped his tongue over your bottom lip before reluctantly pulling away. Looking down at you, his expression one of affection and vulnerability.

“Sorry, I still love you.” You whispered, your noses rubbing together, “I love you.” You repeated, the words hanging in the air like a weighty secret, heavy with adoration. He stared at you before slowly closing his eyes and pressing his lips against yours once again, the kiss gentle but passionate. Your fingertips held his jaw, your thumbs absentmindedly caressing the stubble on his chin.

“I love ya too,” he mumbled against your lips, his voice hoarse and raw with emotion. “More than anythin’ in this world.” His eyes graced over your face, still having that slight pout as he encased your face in his hands, kissing you again. Your eyes fell closed while your fingers ran through his hair, finally pulling him flush against your body. He kissed you slow and gentle, a hand rubbing up and down your back which sent shivers down your spine, his other hand occupied at the base of your neck.

Eventually, you both had to pull away for air, but your eyes remained closed as he pressed his forehead together with yours. Exhaustion rushed through your body and he could tell, pressing a kiss to your forehead before holding onto your waist and the back of your head, flipping you both over gently so he lay on his back. Your cheek pressed between his chest and collarbone as you lay on top of him, still under his poncho. He caressed your head gently, kissing the top of your head while the smell of him invaded your senses. It was a comforting smell, tobacco and the woods, tiring you further. He let out a deep breath, wrapping your arms around your waist loosely as you lay on him, your eyes still closed as you slowly succumbed to sleep.

“Love ya so much (Y/N).” He mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. The only thing you heard before finally, falling asleep.

[xshines]

mizu x reader enemies to lovers

sry for being inactive, im lazy af; also i might continue this one

Falling pieces of snow slowly began to cover the surface of the broken sword, thrown somewhere in the distance on the cold ground, no longer incapable of saving you. The cold snow slowly began to compact and melt beneath your shivering, warm body. The cold metal of your rival's sword blade hugs your thin neck. You dared to look up at her as she hovered over you, her expression blank. She finally has you. She looks at you lying so pathetically in front of her now. She squints those blue eyes of hers to scan you once again, your scratches, your torn clothes, a moment longer she lingers on your torn side, which stains your clothes and the snow beneath you with a dark crimson. But finally her eyes land on your face, finally able to take a closer look at the face of one that has been getting under her skin so much lately. Her enemy. Oh, how she hated you.

You know your fate very well, you are very aware of what is about to happen. Even though your body is shaking from exhaustion, from the snow and cold wind, you try not to show your fear. Despite your increasingly throbbing wound, you don't even hiss or whine. You're not asking for mercy. On the contrary, you frown and even give her that defiant look. Like you're daring her to cut your neck.

She hesitates, hesitates the longer she looks into those big eyes of yours. She has killed countless men, but their facial expressions were different, they were afraid, they were begging, they were screaming, asking for mercy. You are different. The sight of your helpless body, covered with blood dripping from your side, invokes sympathy and nostalgia in your eyes. For some reason, she finds in them a strange innocence that she herself was stripped of a long, long time ago. You look so soft. You look so pretty. “You’re so young…” her voice whispers while her eyes stare into your face. You could only wonder why she hadn't yet swung her blade and sliced your neck cleanly once and for all. "Does it matter now?" You answer in an equally quiet, hoarse voice. The cold wind blows strands of hair and sticks them slightly to your forehead.

Your words echoes in her head. She is brave. You haven’t shown fear nor pleaded for life, which makes her feel…something. She is strong. The cold blade still doesn't pierce the soft skin. "Why didn't you ask for mercy...?" She speaks quietly, only a silent breeze passes by, whispering snow in her hair. She is special. Not many survive an encounter with her, even those who have begged and fallen to their knees.

More and more you felt the blood flowing down your side, staining your clothes and coloring the snow. You just snorted at her question. Despite how much blood you've already lost, you still collect the remaining energy to growl in response. "I am not a dog. I'm not going to whine for mercy." You even dared to give her that determined look again.

All sorts of thoughts were running through Mizu's head now. She’s not afraid. She doesn't know her place. She's just like me. She lowers her katana. Her enemy is more than just an enemy.

"What are you doing?" The question falls from your lips as your eyes follow the blade as it moves away from your neck. „You should kill me.”

The moral monologue battles deep within Mizu. She still wants me to kill her. I should kill her. With the sound of the blade, Mizu raises her sword and returns it to its scabbard. Her gaze falters — a rare moment of weakness. "How old are you?" She steps closer as her voice echoes in the snow-covered landscape, while her blue eyes scan their enemy's body, taking in every tiny detail — bruises, scars, wounds. A glance at the blood that continues to seep down your side and stain the snow. An unexpected feeling, unknown to her, wells within her. An urge to protect this young person, as if you had reminded her of her younger self.

This sudden change in attitude surprises you. You swallow, gritting your teeth as you consider whether to answer the question or ignore it. After all, you no longer have a weapon, and even if you wanted to get up and run away, with this wound by your side, it wouldn't be difficult to catch up with you. "… 20." Mizu frowns when she hears the answer. She really is just like me. You are only a few years younger than her, but you have already chosen this terrible path of violence. “Stand up” she demands quietly. You look sharply at Mizu, as if trying to feel the catch. Slowly, you tuck your legs and push yourself up into a sitting position with your arms. You grit your teeth and widen your eyes as now your wound reminds you even more of its existence. After a moment of deep breaths, you gather yourself to get up. You'd rather bite your tongue than hiss in pain in the presence of your enemy, and finally you slowly, swaying slightly, stand in front of her.

Mizu’s gaze remains fixed on her rival, not taking her eyes off you for a single second. She sheaths her katana entirely, and a soft snow breeze fills her senses. The sound of snow crunching beneath her enemy’s feet resonates inside her mind, echoing inside of her heart. "What is your name?"

You think for a moment. You don't have the strength to think about why she's suddenly asking you so much information about you. The only thing you focus on is the throbbing pain at your side. "[Y/N]" You reply quietly, your head slightly bowed as you grab your side and try to apply pressure to your wound. “[Y/N]…” Mizu repeats after you. Her enemy’s name echoes in her mind, as if a whisper. The cold wind passes by, caressing her senses, touching her face with invisible fingers, carrying a hint of fresh winter air. Her blue eyes soften, as if looking at the most beautiful thing in existence. “Your name…is beautiful…" she sighs, unable to take her eyes off her enemy. “…like you,” Your face relaxed slightly at this sudden compliment. It's been a long time since anyone complimented you or your appearance. You opened your mouth as if you wanted to say something, but after a while you remembered the situation you were in and frowned again. She is your enemy. „Shut up” You groaned, unable to hold in the pain any longer. You lowered your head and clenched your eyes and teeth. When you looked at your hand, entirely stained with blood, you shuddered. Mizu watched your reaction very carefully. Deep down, she admired you for still having the nerve to tell her to shut up despite bleeding profusely and being on the verge of death. She's strong. She’s beautiful. “I’m taking you with me,” Mizu said sternly, as she approached you. She lifted you, her enemy into her arms.

Her closest enemy. Oh, how she adored you.

[catscidr]

Can I please request Dottore x clingy reader who loves giving him affection thank you! 💕

hell yeah baby that's what i'm TALKIN ABOUT ୧(☉□☉୨ ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: fluff, vague mentions of gore includes: gn!reader, dottore, webttore mentionned for like a second wc: 1k

6 minutes. 

That was the longest amount of time Dottore had gone without being bugged by your presence. Well, "bugged” was a bit of a strong word- maybe more so inconvenienced by your endless whining for attention. It’s not that he hated it, it was quite the opposite really, but he actually needed to get work done before tomorrow and couldn’t afford to get distracted this time around. You called out after him for the millionth time today, trotting up to his side with an almost puppy-like expression, looking up at him expectantly. 

Currently wrist deep in the guts of one of his poor victims, he swallowed down the urge to speak his mind honestly, instead choosing to glance over at you from the corner of his eyes. His glare (unfortunately) did nothing to deter your determination and willpower- with his attention now on you, you flash him a bright smile, wrapping your arms around his torso from his right side. 

“Hey, why don’t you take a break?” you ask, tilting your head up to look at him properly. Dottore’s sharp, angular features never failed to make you swoon no matter how many times you looked at his unmasked face. You think it’s a blessing, but he argues that it’s a curse- especially now that you won’t leave him alone, making him pause his work. 

“No,” he sighs for the nth time, bringing his attention back to the corpse on the metal table. “I have work to do. Why don’t you go bother Delta instead? He should be filing out some paperwork,” the doctor says, skillfully shrugging you off of him. You shake your head, resting your hands on his forearm to give him the space he needed. 

“I don’t want to hang out with him though,” you say with a frown, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Come on, you’ve been working non-stop for ages now. Just a small break! An itty bitty one. Like thirty minutes. You can spare that much, can you?” 

The Harbinger stares at the wall with a deadpan expression, weighing his options. On one hand, he could give in, listen to you and take a much needed break. But on the other hand, he could always just... lock you in his office. Not that he would leave you there for long, just enough for him to get this experiment over with. Plus it’s not like you’d be like a dog stuck in a hot car in the middle of summer without any a/c, he had a plush sofa he never used im his office alongside a mini fridge he also never used. The amenities were there for this exact scenario, anyways- so you’d be comfortable while waiting for him to be done. Although, the more he thought about it, the more his body began to feel heavy, exhaustion seeping through his limbs. Dottore grumbles some choice words under his breath and withdraws his arms out from the bloody mess that came from his current experiment and makes his way towards the sink. You follow after him, curious. 

“‘Ttore?” 

“I give up,” the doctor sighs, his shoulders slumping forward. He turns on the sink and discards his bloody surgical gloves, washing his calloused hands under the cold water to get rid of whatever gunk had gotten on his skin. “What do you want?” he asks in an indecipherable tone. You perk up noticeably, a smile making its way back to your face as you watch him dry his hands and turn around to give you his full attention. 

“Just wanna spend time with you, honestly.” you say a little sheepishly. “Have you eaten yet?” 

“Not hungry.” 

“Wanna take a walk? Get some fresh air?” 

The offer seemed tempting. After spending hours smelling nothing but hospital-grade cleaning supplies, iron and death the doctor wouldn’t say no to a trip outside of his lab- that is to say if he were anyone but the second Harbinger. 

Instead, he grabs his mask and lab coat from the coat rack and begins to walk away, making a gesture for you to follow after him. And you do so eagerly, catching up to him fairly quickly considering how long his strides were. 

Your footsteps echo in the quiet hallways, the only sound bouncing off the ornate walls of the otherwise cold and barren palace. The both of you reach your destination, Dottore pushing the door open to reveal his (barely used) bedroom. Tossing his coat aside and placing his mask on his nightstand, he loosens his button-down shirt and sits on his bed, looking at you with a raised brow. 

“Are you going to stand in the doorway all day?” he asks with the slightest bit of amusement, kicking off his shoes and repositioning himself to lay down on the bed properly. You snap out of it and shake your head, closing the door behind you, jumping in next to him happily. Your bodies fit with one another perfectly, his arms snaking themselves around your waist while you hold him around his shoulders, keeping one free hand to stroke his icy locks. He hums contentedly, eyelids fluttering shut. 

“Happy?” he asks, voice muffled from how close his face is to your chest. Your nails gently scratch his scalp, drawing out a soft sigh from the doctor. 

“Very,” you say, smile audible in your tone of voice. Dottore simply hums in response, basking in the comfort of the warmth of your body against him. Part of you felt the need to ask him how long he wanted to stay like this knowing that the doctor hated being away from his lab but, feeling a bit selfish, you allow yourself to revel in the small victory that came in the form of finally convincing Dottore to let you have him all to yourself for a portion of his day. The both of you drift off peacefully, knowing perfectly well that you’re going to repeat this dance once more in the morning when the Harbinger has to work.

[mako-neexu]

youre like the only person i know (if you think about it technically parasocially) who is into kadoguda besides the heroes on pixiv logging one collection every 3-4 months so i want to ask you, from one kadoguda warrior to the other.... what icks do ritsuka and kadoc give each other <3

[shakes fist] FINALLY a break from edguda bc its driving me crazy all the time and its good too as traum in north america server is approaching and kadoc has a more active role here <33 www but wow i cant believe im crazy about kadoguda once and it transcends social media and connection?? XD wheezing okok so 'icks'/....

Kadoc hates it when ritsuka sticks their cold feet on his legs whenever they'll sleep beside each other together

guda being guda has no concept of personal space sometimes and it lowkey makes kadoc pissed and freaked out and flustered all at the same time since its the human order's fault it got guda like this

kadoc's stomach never gaining the ability to be strong against whatever guda always ends up eating in their missions even if its demonic beast meat and then he'll remember that he doesnt have poison immunity and thanks his survival skills he learned alongside his family's magic that he doesnt end up dying like an idiot just because Humanity's Last Idiot offered to him meat from Unknown Origin when he's the expert in fighting against monsters

i think its more of that kadoc is the one with 'icks' than guda haha. since guda to me is just literally good at handling their relationships that any existent 'icks' they may have (if there ever is, which is probably rare? they def have come dislikes of their own as a person... but if its towards others, they will always over come some of their own feelings-) is set aside for the sake of reaching a hand out and offering to be by someones side, or asking for their strength or understanding the adversary in front of them.

human order skewered guda's perception of what to complain about too considering the sheer amount of times they always push themselves to go back to battle and lie to medical staff, the self blame, doubt, and etc. so even if they have that right to complain after all thats been said and done, they still wouldnt too as its their nature to hold onto love and be accepting of a person.

kadoc has shown that he understands guda as well so his 'icks' at best are from normal ass stuff during/post traum. i think i remember someone said that the best way to describe kadoc is basically just guda but grew up in the clock tower and forced to survive there. its just that much difference.

sudden angsty idea for icks(?) is that kadoc's will to live is different from guda's own so it would make for an interesting scene if kadoc, spurred by anastasia's words to continue living, calls out guda, whose concept of death is shattered and thus even as they're still wanting to live and continue their heart is just so irreversibly 'like that' that it becomes noticeable to the 'Senpai'

[roachemoji]

Stranger Things - Season 3 thread 03 01

LETS GO GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay okay okay starting off strong 1984 i see you i see you all these bald men are so sweaty and shiny and exhausted looking.

OH THE VFX BUDGET WENT UP BABBBEYYY OH LOOK AT THAT SHIT THATS COOL AS FUCK

So El isnt the one who opened the gate OG?? Really sick that they needed that much power to do it only forit to backfire and some little girl could do it with ease - OUFH SORRY TO THE BITCHES WHO JUST GOT EXPLODED

i understand why the bald men are sweaty and exhausted looking

SO WHY DO THEY WANT TO GET IN THERE SO BAD!!!!! OH THIS IS THE RUSSIAN PLOT PART YEAHHH

is this like ....... wanting to win the coldwar type shit??? because we're past the space race and into the 80s.... (<- guy who doesnt know much about this specific subject of history tbh)

EL LOOKS SO GOOD - fucking hate seeing them kiss im so sorry it makes me so uncomfortable - FEELING REAL HOPPER THOUGH LIKE ITS ICKY but also damn KING GIVE UR KID SPACE

i fucking LOVE THE shift in colours in this season !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE ITS SO BRIGHT I LOVE IT!!!! AND STEVEEEE!!!!!! AND I FINALLY GET TO MEET ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh this movie is foreshadowing some shit i can feel it. labesq SHIT!!!!!!! AND THEN THE POWER GOING OUT!!!!!!!!!!! this means things my brain is too small to make proper connections

OH SHIT LITTLE ME!!!!!!!

YEAH SEE Lost smoke monster !!!!! somethings thers i just know it

"im not gonna fall in love" "ok"

JOYCE MY BELOVED

booOOOOOBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUSTIIINNNNNNNNNN

<- guy whose just REALLY EXCITED TO SEE THEIR FAV LITTLE MAN

GIRLIES WHO ARE WE LOOKING COOL FOR IM -

thought it waas gonna be gay forgot Billy existed

HOPPER IS ACTUALLY A FUCKING INCEL IM CRYING ITS BEEN LIKE 20 MINUTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KING OH MY GOD SHUT UP rooted for you but nah youve really always been like this

A Heart to Heart? What is that? <- man whose never been shown compassion???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS shut up

ngl tho me n hopper shaking hands how to you approach people about things without people helping you write shit out word for word

this entire board roOM REMINDS ME OF THE BEGINNING OF SEASON 2 OF FARGO - but she a woman TYPE SHIT AKSHJD

Nancy is. trying so HARD and girl i am so sorry

HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT HER <3333

Steve. i got nothing to add he just. wow

ROBIN I LOVE HER I L OVE THE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ON THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its romantic <- jealousy

Its gross <- somehow not jealousy tho sorry

Its bullshit <- jealousy

BRO ARE HE LLO WHAT PIED PIPER SHIT IS HAPPENING???? CRYING AT ALL THE LITTLE CGI GUYS LOOK AT THEM ALL!!!! THEY ALL HAVE LITTLE WHITE FEET THO???? THOSE ARE. exploding. theyre exploding. :(

ENOUGH OF HIM I DONT WANT TO SEE HIM I WANT TO SKIP THROUGH HIS MOMENTS I ACTUALLY HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH IM IN. PAIN. LIKE. OU GH. THE. SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT IS? PAINFUL I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE HIM I HATE HIM IHATE HIM PHYSICALLY GAGGING

LUCAS AND MAX mAKE me so happy and MAx is still transmasc coded in my heaRTTTTT

DUSTIN BABY IM SO SORRY YOURE HAVING A MY CANADIAN GF MOMENT BUTSHES MORMON AND FROM UTAH

SHOWING MomEnts of Joyce being so happy and gENUINELY IN LOVE WITH BOB JUST HURTS SO MUCH HE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE

oh now we have shit with MAGNETS and the spaceship space race cold war babbeyyyy

DISEASE RATS!!!!!!!

HOPPER ASHING ON HIS FACE KING????? OW?????????????????????

This is so uncomfortable bro my dad did this to me once and it was horrifically misguided on his part and he was making some wild ass assumptions about my relationship with certain people and oUGADHADKAJSHAKSJH this isthe season of second hand embarassment and its PAINFUL

MIKE IS JUST MA KING IT WORSE PLEASE SHUT UP I OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I KEEP PAUSING IT BC I CANT HANDLE THIS

HOPPER H ELLO ????

IM

THIS IS

BRO THIS fucking entire season is gonna be so fucking painfULLLL STOP STOP STOP like the. BROOOOO stop stop stop whose got a link to a breakdown of the family dynamics between everyone and how fucked up everyone is i cant even put thi sinto words im just losing my mind hopethis makes sense

SORRY DUSTIN I !!! GOD. PICKING UP RUSSIAN SHIT INSTEAD OF HIS GF SORRY

i literally cant handle this weird Billy fucking Milfs arc and i cant even begin to stress how much i fucking hate it and him. I have literally no room in my heart for that piece of shit

im SORRY to KaREN WHEELER THOUGH LIKE DAMN GIRL your mariage is in shambles and you really want to be fucked by THIS GUY ?

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IDIOT FUCKING GET ATTACKED BY FERAL DISEASED RATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALLING ALL RATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know he fucking dies but iM GONAN LOSE MY MIND DOES HE GET FUCKIGN KILLED BY STOPP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP THIS IS SO FUC NNY YEAHH HYEAHHH BABEY FUCKING GET HIS ASSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

[tokillamockingbird427]

i wholeheartedly agree with ur response to my previous ask, especially with the trilingual and accent one. i imagine its like a somewhat thick-ish accent too that they have (rorke’s is probably more light than logans), since portuguese and spanish are probably the more dominant languages than english. (mainly my hc/theory bc of the fed that was stuttering in spanish and english before keegan killed him during the ajax mission but that’s somewhat irrelevant).

now adding onto ur trilingual hc(?), i imagine logan forgetting certain words and his mind goes absolutely blank in trying to find what the fuck the word is in any of the languages hes fluent in. (example: “i think he went to the… eh…“) and yes, this 100% applies to rorke, and if not the old man is probably WORSE. but unlike logan, rorke is way more fluent in english, as logan cant hold an entire conversation without speaking in either the other two dominant languages. of course though, i would like to think this is when logan decides to speak, because i feel like hes more of a “i hate people so i don’t talk” but is compassionate type of guy. (totally not cause we dont hear the man speak because of the silent protagonist era..)

im not sure what hesh’s(specifically) and the other ghosts reaction would be besides surprised pikachu, “he forgot english? we took THAT long???”, or “what the fuck did rorke DO.”, but im sure itd be something funny or angsty. as hesh and logan in your hc(that i adore cause it honestly suits them) are mixed and dont have that strong of an accent, the accent change from logan when he decides to talk would probably make hesh feel sad in a way, knowing he took too long to find logan before he 1) develops an accent, 2) is now trilingual, and 3) most likely doesn’t remember him or really any of the ghosts if we take that route of angst.

bonus again in favor of your lovely bonus: rorke and logan would absolutely make fun of eachother when they forget a word. (it would also be funny if its other feds who join in but they’re all probably scared of both or they all also deal with the same problem… but they might..)

and i’ll definitely send more asks in the future regarding similar topics like these or hcs in general! :)

— random anon

Logan frustrated to tears because he's gotta sort through three languages to find one word (Four if you include american sign, ASL, headcanon.) when he doesn't even like speaking. He'd make some bad joke about it being the reason he doesn't talk a lot, it's too much work when he can just stand there looking scary and let Rorke do his monologues.

Pls, calling Rorke an old man. I forget he's older than Elias because he really does NOT act like it. They gave him eternal youth in the pit or something because how the fuck was he getting his ass whooped like he was and shaking it off? (Au perhaps, curse of immortality?)

I HC that Logan's selectively mute (as do a few moots of mine) so to me it's not that he hates talking to people, it's just that speaking verbally makes him majorly uncomfortable. So instead he communicates through different avenues. Like writing things to be read, or signing, and even letting Hesh do all the talking for him. (One he uses the most, because it's easiest. Which can be used for angst when Logan then refuses to have Hesh talk for him post pit/beach EHEHHEHE.) He is absolutely so compassionate tho, I love that, I adore giving him a really big heart. Makes the angst where he's cold and angry so much more painful! :D (<- The face of a man who suffers under his own hand)

Oh the angst of the Ghosts being forced to face how much time has passed when they meet Logan again and he's changed so radically his primary language is no longer his "mother tongue." (mother tongue being spanglish, new primary being solely spanish.) Even outside a full "Amnesic Logan" au there'd still be things he'd forget and that is some good angst to explore. Hells yeah.

Hah, Logan and Rorke bullying the shit out of a each other. "Oh you stopped in the middle of your monologue, what was that? Forgot the word did you?" "Stfu that was a dramatic pause." "More like an awkward pause." "I'm gonna put you back in the pit blondie I stg." "Try me you bald bitch." (Subordinates too scared to tell if they're joking with each other or serious)

Can't wait to get more asks from you, I love it :D

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

hi, sorry if im sending too many requests, ofc feel free to decline if im requesting too much :), can i req mothman with reader that has a very terrible week? i seriously hate this week so much ihate everything about it ☹️☹️. your fics are honestly the only thing thats giving me comfort so im so sorry if this is too much! have a nice day -💌 (thank you in advance by the way <3)

forgive me for taking so long!!! i combined these requests because they're decently similar, so have ye some soft moth comfort!!

~ * ~ Always and Forever

Synopsis: In a week, you feel like you're falling apart, but soft, strong arms are here to hold you steady.

Foul Legacy Childe x Reader Pronouns: Gender Neutral (no pronouns mentioned) Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Comfort Warnings: Mentions of headaches, depressive thoughts and feelings, attempting to push down emotions, crying

~ * ~ The sun is too bright today. What normally you’d consider warm and comforting is blinding, a nuisance. Maybe it’s due to the cloudless sky, a rich blue color without a single hint of a breeze in the air, the heat rising from the Harbor’s cobblestones almost suffocating. Or perhaps it’s the way the light shines just so, at the exact angle to flash directly into your already-aching eyes. Or maybe, it’s because everything is wrong, going wrong, being wrong. Not just today- the whole week; maybe even longer, but your fuzzy brain can’t remember or doesn’t want to remember. You blink, squinting past the harsh light and down the road so you can find your way home, your brain too foggy to think coherently. Home… The only place you want to be right now. But it’s so far away, the road seemingly stretching on forever. The path up the Harbor seems infinite in a way that you hate, throat thick and dry- too much noise; too much light; too many people all talking, talking, talking so rapid and loud, and your head stings from the sound and the heat. It’s only with considerable effort that you’re able to put one foot in front of the other, going one step at a time, each one heavy on your already-slouched form. When you finally arrive and kick off your shoes, bags tossed aside and coat hanging by a thread, you amble over to and collapse on your couch, burying your face in a pillow. With a strangled groan your fingers dig into the soft fabric of the cushions, letting out the breath you’ve been holding all day and letting your lips slip into a frown. The frustrations and annoyances from days of work and exhaustion give way to emptiness, a cold, hollow feeling that pools and settles in your chest and stomach akin to the way rampant thoughts begin to fill your head. Why can’t anything go the way it’s supposed to? Why is the world determined to make everything fall apart? Why can’t you do anything right? The sound of footsteps makes its way downstairs, eagerly tapping on the hardwood until it reaches the bottom and freezes at the sight of you. There’s a soft whine of concern and the footsteps resume, slower this time, before they stop and you feel talons brushing against your shoulder. Removing the pillow from your face, you come face-to-face with a fretful Childe, worry shining in his cerulean eye and clawed hands wrapped around your smaller ones. You simply turn away and silently shake your head, willing yourself not to burst out crying, and Childe whimpers quietly, gently brushing your soft hair away from your face. You hear Childe stand and walk away, and you’re mourning the loss of his claws pressed against your cheek when someone much larger climbs onto the couch and carefully settles on top of you, warm and soft, and when you open your eyes Childe is looking up at you, cheek pressed against your chest. He’s like a living blanket, one that purrs and coos and snuggles against you, and a watery smile spreads across your face. Childe nudges insistently at your limp hands, and with a small laugh you begin petting his gingery hair, stroking the soft locks and playing with the streak of white amongst the copper, and he rumbles back, pushing into your palms and resting his claws on your arm so you don’t pull away. Your hands slide from his hair to his face, and he cranes his head upwards so you’ll run your fingers under his chin and along his neck, where you can feel the purrs strongest. His wings flutter lazily when he hums, gently batting against the couch cushions as you cup Childe’s face with a hand, the weight of him leaning into your touch heavy but not crushingly so. He’s looking at you now, loving and fond, gaze filled with affection. The sensation of being carefully squished has calmed your frazzled nerves somewhat, and you’re able to look back at him calmly, trying to say that you’ll be alright. Childe whines- he knows that look. It’s the look you give people when you want to drift away, tell them that you’re just fine while you suffer, alone and scared. The look you have when you don’t want to bother anyone, not with your “stupid problems”. Childe knows that feeling, the desire to be strong in the face of hardship and smile when dawn turns to night. He knows the need to protect, to shield others from their sadness and lock your own away, where it’s never to be seen. He’s been alone and scared before, and perhaps every day he lived was done with a smile masking inner turmoil, before he met you and you pulled him from darkness into soft, glowing light. And now you’re the one drenched in sadness, your heart and soul gray and unmoving, and Childe wants nothing more than to help but he knows you won’t tell him, since he “shouldn’t have to deal with your silly issues”. Can’t you see that he wants to deal with them, with every part of you, good and bad? But he doesn’t ask- not today, at least- with the week you’ve been having it’d only make you panicked and more upset, so instead Childe simply presses his forehead against yours, letting soothing purrs rumble from deep within his chest, and you exhale slowly, feeling your muscles unclench and the icy knot of emotion relax. He nudges you slightly, turning you onto your side so he can lay precariously beside you, pulling you into his chest with a tight hug. You worry, for a moment- won’t he fall off? But Childe simply trills and happily rubs his cheek against your hair, shooing your worries away faster than you can protest and flicking one of his feather-light wings atop you. Your brain feels foggy again, in a soft, sleepy kind of way, but you catch Childe’s arm and tug, suddenly nervous. “Be here when I wake up?” You look so desperate, and Childe’s heart nearly breaks. With a croon, he leans closer and gently licks your cheek; once, twice, and his version of a kiss. Always. Always and forever.

[backbackback3000]

The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living

It's cold dence dry. I feel alone even though im surrounded by the wast amount of people circulating around everyone in its line in order. Guided by the human made path moving on lines like robots trying to make it to the next day.

— “Like the painting of a sorrow, A face without a heart.”(1)

This idea that it was merely a pretence of wickedness spoiled her pleasure.(2)

Joy echoes in the air.(3)

"Trouble?”(4)

But no, it's just trouble, trouble, all the time.(5)

“We do not have the same relations to reading, writing, images, space, sex, the body, the night, the sun, pain, as we had only ten years ago.(6)

Hell, the life of fools, the life of the mad, hell, life sick of itself.(7)

It is an almost universal disease  hate for hate.(8)

In school we learnt that hate breeds hate!(9)

They’re designed to avoid a catastrophe, where you give somebody a drug and they die, or they get more sick.(10)

If she makes the wearing of mourning sound, very often, like neurotic rituals of compulsive obsession, then there is nothing like a good, strong dose of the reality principle to clean the air.(11)

It was a poisoned dose and a large one.(12)

What will happen next?(13)

What softens the heart of a man, shipwrecked in storms dire, Tried, like another Ulysses, Pericles, prince of Tyre?(14)

I prom-mise. I p-promise.

Don't trust the teller, trust the tale.(15)

Her desire, does not enter the picture at all.(16)

But this desire seems immediately struck by a strange powerlessness. (17)

Weak?(18)

Light!(19)

What grim irony!(20)

The air hangs motionless and black night broods over a sluggish world.(21)

In one case the soul is sleeping, in the other more or less slumbering; but there is always darkness, perpetual Cimmerian darkness.(22)

Yes, from the point of view of the human race. No, from the point of view of the individual. Progress is man’s mode of existence.The general life of the human race is called Progress, the collective stride of the human race is called Progress.Progress advances; it makes the great human and terrestrial journey towards the celestial and the divine; it has its halting places where it rallies the laggard troop, it has its stations where it meditates, in the presence of some splendid Canaan suddenly unveiled on its horizon, it has its nights when it sleeps; and it is one of the poignant anxieties of the thinker that he sees the shadow resting on the human soul, and that he gropes in darkness without being able to awaken that slumbering Progress. “God is dead, perhaps,” said Gerard de Nerval one day to the writer of these lines, confounding progress with God, and taking the interruption of movement for the death of Being. He who despairs is in the wrong.(23)

Emission always goes out of a certain point and spreads its waves throughout its environment. At first it is very clear where and how the signal is sent but the further it moves the more it's being changed and diffused until it clashes with another signal. At this point the fusion of 2 or more subjects is being created. What happens in those moments and which subjects are fusing?

Rubber dinosaur heads, fish-faced monsters, and plastic princess crowns?

Implicitly described, the men were at the women’s service at all times, being used as furniture, transportation, or simply objects of pleasure.

(1)Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

(2)Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol V The Captive The Fugitive

(3)Youngquist, A Pure Solar World Sun Ra and the Birth of Afrofuturism

(4)Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

(5)Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

(6)Watson, Guattaris Diagrammatic Thought

(7)Serres, The Birth of Physics

(8)Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

(9)Hovestadt Buehlmann, Quantum City

(10)Holen, Etops Headache

(11)Carter, Shaking A Leg

(12)Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

(13)Carter, Shaking A Leg

(14)Joyce, Ulysses

(15)Carter, Shaking A Leg

(16)Carter, Shaking A Leg

(17)Ranciere, Aisthesis

(18)Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

(19)Hugo, Les Miserables

(20)Marx, Collected Works

(21)Seneca, Complete Works

(22)de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

(23)Hugo, Les Miserables

[noritoshiikamo]

naoya’s fantasy [naoya zenin + y/n x noritoshi kamo]

cw masturbation, mention of breeding kink, naoya being ass, wanting what he cant have lol, peeping tom mode

psst uh hi, so i was thinking with my dick im sorry LMAO and its short idc

naoya zenin hates it when he can’t get something.

not that he cared most of the time but it’s you. the idea of being married forever to a person, isn’t ideal in his mind; but it’s you and he wants you.

it’s you, its you, it’s you-

he startled.

he could hear it; through the thin wall, your moans were exquisite. noritoshi clearly knew what he was doing. it’s offending how naoya is riled up, completely baffled out of his mind to know that you were in the next room. of all the guest rooms available, you’re here, separated by a thin wall, spread apart for a kamo. what possessed him to stand and made his way to the wall was something he couldn’t understand.

naoya froze. was the wall rattling? he pressed his palm against the wall, ears next as he eavesdropped. the room in his pants seemed a little tighter now, eyes shut as he listened intently. his head scrambled to think of words to describe you as filthy as possible to get away of the fact of how much he wished he was pounding the living hell out of you.

you were born to a lower family, not even as par as a zenin or kamo would be. you were lucky enough to be strong, lucky enough to be close with most of the elderly, lucky enough to caught attention of a kamo clan elder. naoya knew your marriage was planned, noritoshi was next in line and with his father’s mistake, you would think that the clan would’ve taken a better step other than to arrange a marriage for noritoshi.

you might not be as par when it comes to lineage but naoya sees you as his match. you were perfect, he dislikes submissive woman as much as he loves it when they bowing to him, but he likes to think he could tame you down on your knees. you would look up, eyes teary with hue of warmth spread across your cheeks as you present your mouth open for fucking. “fuck,” he muttered, cold hand wrapped around his shaft. he was dripping precum slowly staining his boxer that he quickly lowered down.

there’s not a day where his cock didn’t twitch at the sound of you talking in the clan meeting. why were you talking? why didn’t noritoshi talk? women should just keep their traps shut. why the fuck is my cock like this? he maintained a calm facade, knees bouncing up and down as he tried to not think if you.

but how?

your lips were bright, it looks soft from far, gosh he would give his title just to feel your soft lips around his shaft. the little eh and oh as you talked, listening intently to what the elderly said, let’s not get starting on the little chuckle you let out as you embarrassedly apologized. he wondered if you sounded like that in bed and you did, despite low on ear but gosh, you sounded beautiful.

naoya was breathing slow, trying his best to synchronize with your own as he continued to stroke himself. beads of sweat formed down down his forehead as he closed his eyes, focusing intently on you. he tightened his grip, imagining how good your walls would be wrapped around his cock, sucking him in. the sound of your gummy walls, your back arching, head thrown back calling out to him.

“toshi, ah- slow down! i’m gonna c-”

but naoya won’t. when he got a grip on your thighs, he won’t be slowing down. he won’t until you’re all sore, spit dripping down your cheeks, tears pooling; you’ll be all choke out of your words. he would please himself to his liking, pleasing you until you’re broken. you’re nothing but an empty shell for him to fill.

he grunted, thighs shaking as he stroke faster. the idea of filling you up, it’s unspeakable. the day he could step back and see you sprawl on your back, cum dripping out of your swollen cunt is the day he would go down on knees for a woman. you would be the death of him, yet you wouldn’t know that. he would do anything to have you, even with a blade. starting a clan war for a peace for meat isn’t something unusual; but he would.

he would build a new clan for you, belly full of his heir as he rules with iron fist.

naoya’s stomach tensed, pumping faster as his mind unravelled faster before a soft croak escape his throat. while noritoshi painted inside of you white, he painted the walls. his face flushed red as anger and embarrassment bubbled inside of him. clarity finally hit him as he beat himself inside. kicking the boxer apart he made his way to the bathroom, furiously washing his remains. the world is cruel to him today.

because naoya’s fantasy will remain fantasy. he would never heard the same shit you’d tell him; naoya could never be your love.

© all content belongs to noritoshiikamo. do not modify or repost.

taglqist: @booksweet @duskamethyst @sassyeahhhh @honoredsatoru @cheolinn @captainseb @savantsoulfinder @ultgojo @akarisroom @killtoji @hisvillainess @getomybeloved @crashed-wing @rafzaha @undefined—person @thebasicbword @plusultra2dwhore @omiikeii @hyp-oh-critical @tirzamisu @kenkenmaaa @lazy10ieiri @shadowarchon @rindough

[oddaodd]

· Wailing Teapots ·

Summary: When Tommy begins suspecting of Y/n's true allegiances he goes and questions her in her apartment only to discover a dark secret. (Angst/Fluff)

Warnings: Implications of abuse. (Nothing too graphic but just in case).

Author's note: I'm back! It feels so good to write again! My life has been a bit hectic lately, but I hope I can continue to make time for my writing because it honestly feels like coming back home after the most exhausting of voyages. Anyhow I hope y'all enjoy this and have the loveliest of days. ❤️

·

Three strong knocks on the door stole Y/n’s attention from the live fire burning in her fireplace. With quiet feet she tiptoed to the door and placed her hand on the doorknob and stood still hoping to hear something that could tell her who it was behind the door, but she could only hear her own heartbeat beating violently in her ribcage as she held her breath.

She slightly hated herself for being afraid, but she couldn’t not be afraid, not with all the letters that had been delivered to her home.

“I know you’re in there Y/n”

As soon as she recognized the voice as Tommy’s, she finally breathed again before partly opening the door a weak smile gracing her features when she took in the sight of him. Before she could ask him what he was doing there he pushed the door open and allowed himself inside.

The smile vanished from her face in an instant and she quickly closed the door. There was something different about him, something that made the hairs on her arms stand up in trepidation. His eyes didn’t look like they had done a few nights prior when he took Y/n to the outskirts of town for a walk. The kind of walk in which one shares the kind of conversations that makes people grow closer together, the kind of walk which ends with a gentle kisses and fleeting touches.

“This is a nice place” he commented taking off his peaky cap, not even sparing Y/n a glance as he began walking slowly through the apartment which though small and plain held a considerable amount of expensive yet tasteful looking knick knacks that brightened up the whole place despite the old furniture that had beed there when Y/n first moved in.

“You couldn’t have waited for a formal invitation, could you?” She asked in a light tone still standing by the door, in the hope that it could change Tommy’s odd aura, but he ignored her question all together

“Almost too nice, wouldn’t you agree?” He asked picking up a vase and examining it before finally turning to look at Y/n.

“Tommy?” She asked, not really knowing why was he acting so strange.

“I know I pay you fair wages” he began, putting the vase down fixing his eyes on the fireplace where small traces of burnt paper rested “but I highly doubt you were able to make yourself of such an array of treasures with what I pay you.”

“All of this came with me from America.” She said feeling like she ought to explain herself and though her answer was an honest one, Tommy didn’t seem convinced, nevertheless, he hummed in mocking understanding before clearing his throat .

“Aren’t you gonna offer me tea?”

“Sure…where are my manners?” she said with a nervous laugh before walking to where her stove was and putting a kettle on.

Tommy followed her closely and drew a chair from her flimsy kitchen table before sitting down and taking notice of her shaky hands as she tied around a bit in the kitchen with her back to him as he sat on her favorite chair.

“Wish you had told me you were coming, I would have..”she began as she opened her pantry to put away some bread.

“You’ve been burning letters” he interrupted, not being able to shake off the image of the paper remains.

Y/n stilled for a moment before closing her pantry, thing which he noticed.

“Yeah, I don’t have the room to keep every single letter I get ” Y/n said, a defensiveness lingering softly in her words.

“I agree” Tommy said in a cold tone “specially when you are getting so many of them. Paul tells me he delivers at least 10 a week here” he continued, referring to the mailman who after being questioned by Tommy forgot all about post confidentiality.

“They are my mother’s” Y/n stuttered out.

The teapot then wailed, making her jump slightly before going to remove it from the stove and finally turning around to go and pour Tommy a cup.

“Right” Tommy said, his eyes not leaving Y/n’s figure as she poured the tea.

“Yeah, she’s ever so passionate about plants, been telling me all a-a-about her new greenhouse.” She continued pressured by Tommy’s heavy stare and silence.

Tommy offered a small cynical smile that Y/n didn’t see, she didn’t want to look at him. She felt like crying for she realized just then how suspicious she looked.

The sound of the chair being drawn again teased at Y/N’s ears, forcing her to look up at Tommy who was calmly walking towards her. She had never been afraid of him, but she couldn’t help but back away as he inched closer to her, her eyes widening.

“Who is Clyde Attenborough?” He asked producing another letter from his pocked like the many ones Y/n had been receiving for a while now. Same stamps and everything.

Color drained from her face at the sight of the letter and she found herself unable to produce an answer as her back came in soft contact with her pantry.

“What does he know? He asked.

“Where I live” Y/n whispered sorrowfully as a tear finally slipped down her cheek. Her eyes being for mercy.

“What have you been telling him?”

“Nothing” she answered truly.

“I bet he pays generously to know how the company works”

“I swear im not working for anyone else” Y/n stuttered, finally understanding why Tommy was so suspicious. Being his secretary, she knew plenty about the skeletons the family kept.

“Then why are you crying?” He pressed.

“Because you’re scaring me.”

Her words seemed to have an effect on Tommy for he immediately backed away, throwing the letter on the table, his back to her.

”I’m not gonna hurt you” he stated, beating himself up for corralling Y/n like that. His voice much less menacing than mere seconds ago. “Who is Clyde Attenborough?”

“I haven’t been honest with you” she finally confessed sniffing. To hell with everything.

At this Tommy turned around to look at her an unpleasant mix of emotions swimming in his eyes.

“Im married” she sobbed “Clyde’s my husband”

For the first time in a long time, Tommy was caught off guard.

“I came to Small Heath because I ran away from him, I figured he’d never find me but..” She said taking the letter in her shaky hands as if the thing were to blow off in any given second “I guess I was wrong. I-I don’t know how he found me”

She shifted her teary gaze from the letter to a shocked Tommy “I swear im not passing information” she chuckled sadly, the knot in her throat choking her a little.

Tommy stood glued in the same spot, not knowing what to do. His world had come crashing down when he began suspecting of Y/n’s alliances after Polly suggested he look into it. A pretty American girl, moving to a grey English town, taking up a job that was exhausting at best. It reminded him a little too much of Grace.

Now that he knew the truth , he didn’t feel any better.

“Is he dangerous?” He found himself asking after a few seconds of silence.

Y/n sniffed as she walked to her fireplace “I wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t” she said as she threw the letter into the crackling flames.

“Is he in Birmingham?”

“He keeps writing that he’ll come get me if I don’t go back, but im not sure” she answered.

Tommy fought the urge to go up to her and take her in his arms and instead put his peaky cap back on before heading for the door.

“I’m sorry” he whispered before stepping out of her place, The guilt of intimidating her in her own house gnawing at his insides and the newfound anger her husband created present on his drive home.

The next day Y/n noticed as she peeped out the window two men, both in peaky caps standing at the entrance of her apartment complex.

Three more days passed and Y/n was again surprised tby the sound of three knocks on her door as she read one evening.

“Its me, Y/N” Tommy’s voice flowed through the door shortly after the knocks.

Y/n quickly got off her couch and made her way to open the door. Her eyes falling on Tommy’s apologetic features.

“It’s dealt with” he said in all seriousness. The thick accent she loved so much vibrating through her ears.

As soon as she registered what Tommy had just said she let out a strained breath, her lips turned into a tired smile and a lone tear slipped out her misty eyes.

“Wanna come in?” She asked after a few seconds, feeling happier than she had felt for days.

“Is this a formal invitation?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips, relieved that his antics from a few days prior hadn’t maimed Y/n´s trust.

At his question she just smiled, looking at him lovingly before taking hold of his hand and pulling him into her apartment before pressing her lips to his in a soft yer passionate manner. Without breaking the kiss, Tommy then closed the door.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @lilymurphy03 @slytherinicequeen

[genshin-obsessed]

Your blog is everything I wanted and more. Im a lurker for your writings ahaha if you can guess who i am 👀

How about the guys reacting to s/o's death. Can be a group writing but if its too much, just Diluc, Childe, Razor and Kaeya would be nice. I think they would have interesting reactions >:3

First of all, Anon. I LOVE YOU. I wanted to write this out but thought it might be a bit too much but then you went and requested it!! I guess I have no choice but to write this out! >:) (That’s also why I did all the characters) second. Guess who you are o: may I get a hint? I have 2 people in my mind tho o: Warnings: Death, mentions of blood, angst. Pure angst.

Sidenote: The woman in this is my OC named Toxin! Whenever I need a really big, bad villain, she’s my go-to! That’s all!

Includes: Aether, Kaeya, Venti, Diluc, Razor, Xiao, Xingqiu, and Childe!

Scaramouche & Zhongli Here | Part 2 Here

You Die!

You ran as fast as your feet would carry you, desperate for an escape. A scream erupted from your lips as the ground shook beneath you, causing you to stumble and fall over. You had received an emergency request to help fight… someone. The request wasn’t very detailed but someone needed help and you couldn’t turn your back on them. So, you went ahead and tried to help.

You should’ve been careful. You should’ve brought help. But you didn’t and you were paying for your stupidity. The person that you were fighting was strong. She was tall, pale, and had long black hair. Her unearthly glowing green eyes were terrifying. She was fast and all of your attacks were unable to touch her.

As you ran, only one thought crossed your mind. The smiling image of your boyfriend. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you tried to run. How you wished you could be in his arms, feeling safe and sound.

As you ran out of the forest and down the field, the woman appeared in front of you, catching you in her arms and stabbing you with a poison dagger. You shrieked as your hands curled around her clothes. The sharp pain turned into a burning sensation and you looked up at her. Her face was inches away and she smirked, her eyes glowing bright by the second.

“Finally. But you’re not the only one I wanted to break.” What? What did she mean? Her head turned to the left and you followed her gaze and the second you saw what she was looking at, your heart shattered.

The woman pulled the dagger out and it seemed to vanish as she smirked at your boyfriend. The tears slid down your cheeks as you weakly reached out to him for help.

“(F/N)!” His heart stopped as he watched the woman disappear and you fall to the floor. He sprinted to you, picking you up in his arms as blood poured out of the wound. “H-hey! Hey, keep your eyes open! J-Just stay awake!” He held your head against his chest, trying to calm himself, but how could he? You were bleeding out in front of him. 

He looked down and ran his fingers along your cheek as your skin started to turn purple. The poison had taken its effect and it was moving fast. You were leaving, you would leave him just like Lumine left him. He was gonna be alone all over again.

“A-Aether… I-I l-love you.”

“I love you too! You’ll be fine, everything’s g-gonna be ok.” Who was he kidding? You weren’t going to make it. But he couldn’t admit it. Aether still had yet to find Lumine and he’d never gotten over losing her. You, you were his light. You were his guiding start. You were his moon, his everything. 

To think that he could lose you? No, no! He didn’t want it. He didn’t want a world without you. A world without you was pure torture. So why? Why was the universe so hellbent on taking things away from him? Why did it demand everything precious to him?!

Why you? 

A pained cry left his lips as your hand fell to your side and that light disappeared from your eyes. “N-no. No, no, no, no! W-wake up! Please wake up! Do-don’t leave me! Don’t you leave me too! Not like this! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” He held your lifeless body against him, his head pressed against your chest. He couldn’t hear it… he couldn’t hear your heartbeat.

“No… NO!” He ran as fast as his feet could carry him and caught you before you hit the ground. The woman had disappeared but he didn’t care. You were… you were dying! How could he stop it? He wanted to stop the bleeding, he wanted to stop the way your color was changing, he wanted to stop time!

“K-Kaeya… h-how-”

“I was told to come here. A messenger came to me and said you called me and told me to come here.” He explained, taking your cold hand into his, pressing a kiss against it.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“No. Don’t apologize and don’t close your eyes. Please, just stay up a little longer.” He wanted to pick you up and run to the nearest doctor, but he knew… it wasn’t worth it. He wouldn’t make it. He’d never felt so worthless and weak. He swore to protect you and keep you safe and now that you needed him… he was useless.

“T-tired…” Slowly, your eyes closed and your hand fell limp in his. Kaeya’s eyes widened as the tears slid down his cheek.

“(f-f/n)? B-baby! No, wait! Don’t do this! Pl-please no!” He took your hand and pressed it against his cheek, but the second he loosened his grip, it fell. Kaeya shook his head, tears flooding down his cheek as a scream erupted from his mouth. “(F/N)!!!”

Slow. He was too slow. Why couldn’t he be fast enough?! That woman, he knew her. He knew her and he vowed to hunt her down and tear her to shreds. But right now…

Venti picked you up with trembling hands, letting his now bloodied hands touch your cheek. He couldn’t even talk, his voice quivered as he looked down into your eyes. No. This wasn’t happening. You weren’t going to leave him like this.

“H-hey, love. E-everything’s going to be just fine. You’re fine.” He tried to keep his smile up but it was so damn hard when he knew the truth. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t even lie to himself. You were slipping away and all he could do was watch. He knew he was the weakest of all archons but why? Why couldn’t he be a little bit stronger to save you.

“I-I wa-wanna sl-sleep-”

“NO!” He frowned and pressed a kiss to your lips. “No, don’t sleep. Not yet. Just stay awake a little longer and then we can both sleep together tonight.” You weakly nodded, but you couldn’t stay awake any longer. You felt like you were moving, but your body was slowly going numb, until everything disappeared. “(f/n)? (f-f/n)? H-hey! Hey this isn’t a joke! WAKE UP! WAKE UP, PLEASE, PLEASE WAKE UP!”

The second he saw the woman step away from you, a fiery phoenix flew towards her, but she’d disappeared before it could hit her. Diluc ran to you as he watched your body fall to the ground.

He fell to his knees and quickly picked you up, shaking you a little. There was something that snapped inside. He’d always kept his composure, but after seeing what had happened, his emotions burst out of him. He wasn’t in control of anything. He couldn’t control his thoughts, emotions… or your death.

“It’ll be fine! Everything’s fine!” He said, pressing his hand to the wound. You winced at the pain as your skin started to turn purple and blood spilled out of your mouth.

“I-I’m so-sorry.” He shook his head, taking your face in his hands.

“No. I’m sorry. I sh-should’ve gotten here faster.” He was still trying to convince himself you were going to be fine, but deep down, he knew the truth. He knew the ugly truth that was coming up.

“D-Diluc… y-you’re pretty.” His eyes clenched shut at your words as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Don’t leave. Th-there are so many things I-I want to do with you. Pl-please don’t leave me. Wh-what d-do I do?” You smiled weakly at him.

“Y-you b-be the Darknight H-hero…” He scoffed and looked down at you.

“Without you… I’m nothing.” You wanted to say more, you wanted to deny his words, but you were so tired. Slowly, the world faded away and you could no longer hear his cries. “No! NO! NO!! DON’T DO THIS TO ME! STOP! COME BACK! PLEASE BRING MY (F/N) BACK!”

The wolf within had appeared but he wasn’t able to catch up before the woman disappeared. He ran to you and picked you up, seeing the blood gushing out of the wound.

“N-no! (f/n)!” Tears flooded his eyes as he watched your color turn purple. That woman, she reeked of poison so she must’ve poisoned you.

“Shhh…” You muttered, holding your hand to his cheek. “D-don’t c-cry.” He didn’t know what to do. He felt so lost and helpless, but the worst part… he knew what was coming. He shook his head vehemently and tried to pick you up, but you let out a cry of pain, making him lower you back down.

“I c-can save you!”

“I-it’s ok… it’s ok, Razor. I… I’ll be ok.” He hated those words. He hated everything you were saying so much. Razor adored you, he missed you every second he couldn't be with you and normally, he’d never hate your words. But today… right now, he hated how right you were. He shook his head as the tears slid down his cheeks as he felt you slip away.

“Do-don’t do this t-to me. Not you too… they left me. Why do you want to leave me too?” You weakly tugged him down and made him kiss you, but half way through the kiss, he felt your head fall back and he knew. You were gone.

He knew that woman that had done this to you. He knew her and he was going to make sure she paid. But right now… right now you were more important. Xiao took you in his arms as tears started to fill his eyes. He’d never felt like this before and he hated feeling like this.

You made him feel so powerful, so invincible, so untouchable. But right now, he felt so vulnerable and broken. If he had been faster, if he had just gotten here faster he could’ve saved you. He could’ve been hugging you, seeing your skin bright with life, seeing your glimmering eyes, seeing that dazzling smile. But no, he was a failure.

A sob escaped his lips as he watched you starting to slip away. He pulled you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“D-don’t do this. Pl-please don’t leave me. Y-you pro-promised you w-wouldn’t do this to me!” He looked down at you but you still had that angelic smile on your face. Why? Why would you do this?! You touched his cheek and spoke; your voice was a quiet whisper, but he heard it.

“I-I love y-you, Xiao…” He shook his head and glared at the sky before shutting his eyes. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to see this happening to you.

“I love you too. S-so much.” He felt your body go limp and another sob escaped his lips. “Y-you pr-promised you’d c-come back to me.” He raised your face closer to him and pressed a kiss against your lips. “P-please come back to me. I-I can’t live without you… I do-don’t want to.”

He sprinted down the hill towards where you lay, gathering you in his arms when he was at the bottom. He didn’t know what to do, there was so much blood, so much poison, and no hope. He fell beside you and pressed his hands onto the wound as blood gushed out.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, it’s ok, it’s ok, everything’s just fine!” You winced in pain in your torso, but it didn’t last very long. It only took a minute before you lost feeling in your legs and arms.

“Xingqiu… i-it hurts.”

“I know, I know and I’m so sorry! If I was faster, I could’ve helped you. It’ll be ok, I promise, my love. I won’t stop until you’re taken care of.” Why didn’t he believe his own words? Maybe it was the fading light in your eyes, maybe it was the color draining from your face, maybe it was the sheer amount of blood that poured from the wound… but Xingqiu didn’t have a single ounce of hope. Why? Why was the world doing this to him? Why was it punishing you like this? Did he do something? Did he commit a sin that was so unforgivable that the universe or the gods would punish someone as sweet and amazing as you?

He wanted to cry, but he bit his lip to hold the tears back. His eyes were glossy and his vision was blurry, but he refused to cry. He wasn’t going to show you the fleeting hope in him. He wasn’t going to show you that he was  a liar.

“Xingqiu… w-will y-you g-give me one l-last kiss?” His head snapped to you and he shook his head.

“It won’t be our last kiss! We’ll have more chances. We’ll have so many more chances.” He did kiss you however. It was short and sweet, as he returned to applying pressure onto the wound. His eyes flickered to you for a second before his entire body tensed. You were staring at the sky… with dull, lifeless eyes. “(f-f/n)? H-hey… hey wake up.” He gently shook your shoulders. “Hey, stop. Th-this isn’t funny! I know you like playing tricks on me but this isn’t funny! St-stop!!” Finally, he broke. He laid his head on your chest as his tears started to flow. 

“NO!” Oh, he knew that woman well. He’d worked with her once. She was, indeed, powerful. She was a killing machine and there was a time where he was impressed by her. But right now he felt nothing but pure hatred for her. But that had to wait, because you… you were dying.

Childe pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest and kissing your head. He was trembling and his emotions were a mess. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he looked down at you. The wound oozed with red and purple, so he knew you’d been poisoned.

“H-hey, darling. You ok? Everything’s just gonna be ok, you hear me?” You gave him a weak nod as you looked down at the wound. However, he took your face and made you look up at him. “No, no. Just look at me. Nothing but me.”

“I-I won’t… I’m tired.”

“HEY! Don’t you dare close those beautiful eyes on me! Everything’s going to be fine! Everything… everything is fine. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare even think about leaving me. Don’t you… don’t do it. Please, god I’m begging you (f/n)! Don’t leave me all alone in this world!”

“I-I ca-can’t stay…”

“Yes, y-yes you can! You can’t leave me, please d-don’t.. I-I don’t know what to do! What am I supposed to do?! Just go on, pretending everything’s ok?! JUST PRETEND LIKE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE DIDN’T LEAVE ME?!”

“Shh… d-don’t get so angry.”

“I-” He sighed, taking in a shaky breath, “I love you so much i-it’s hard to breathe without you. Do-don’t take away m-my reason for li-living.” You didn’t answer. You only weakly smiled before your eyes closed and your head fell back. Childe’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “N-no. No- HEY! No, no, no! Please no!” He held you against his chest as he let out a scream. What else could he do besides cry.

Your boyfriend stood up, holding you tightly in his arms. There was only one thought in his mind as he glared in the direction the woman had gone. 

There was nothing left for him. So he wouldn’t stop; he would relentlessly hunt that woman down and tear her apart completely. That way, she could feel an ounce of his pain.

[warmau]

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au jeno another late, sappy birthday gift for mr. lee jeno. i promised to finish the ot21s so....... find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo | ten | jisung | renjun tw: mention of ankle injury

summer is supposed to be a time of happiness, of adventure and goofing around under the constant sunlight

and so when you start summer, you are all smiles and big dreams! unfiltered energy to do whatever you want!

and whatever you want is definitely

NOT spending even a day (actually three) in the hospital after you end up falling off your bike and breaking your ankle like the absolute unlucky person that you are

"that is so gnarly dude, my condolences"

chenle mutters, skateboard under hand and shaking his head

jisung nods in agreement beside him - still wearing his helmet even after your nurse gives him a look about it

"hey, at least you're getting all this free candy?"

jaemin motions, picking up a 'get better soon' box filled with chocolates from your uncle

he pops one in his mouth and haechan swats his hand away before he can steal any more

mark sighs and gives you a sad smile, renjun puts the flowers they all bought together in a vase by your bed

it's all a little too much - and you tell them it's fine, it's just an ankle and you'll be out of here in no time

they all agree, except for jeno who is sitting at the foot of your bed with his volleyball uniform still on and his duffel bag between his legs on the floor

you keep throwing glances his way because you have never seen jeno so quiet in your life

mark - who is the brains of your friend group (oddly enough) - catches the looks of worry

so he does what any good friend would do, he tells all the remaining members he saw a machine with snacks out in the hall and they all excuse themselves with 'see you soon!'s' out of your hospital room

jeno doesn't move a muscle

"how was practice? jaemin looks happy so im guessing you guys are going to be in great shape when school starts again?"

there isn't any response and jeno is almost hidden with the way his head is hanging low and his hands are clasped on his knees

"jeno-"

"it's my fault you're in here."

you puff your cheeks and cross your legs

"oh please! it's my own fault! is that why you're acting all sad?"

he doesn't answer and the lack of communication is making you nervous more than it is making you angry

jeno and you are close, to the point of knowing each other's parents by their first names and who your first kisses were back in middle school

he has never been one to lack the words for a conversation - at least not with you

you wish you could scoot closer and pinch his cheek or poke his forehead

but your cast is restricting movement and these days touching jeno feels......different

"i should have stopped you before you went down that hill, i was there and i couldn't save you-"

"jeno, im not made of glass and plus im not even that hurt!"

he finally shifts so he can look at your leg, propped up on the pillow and covered in its cast that has been brightly decorated with signatures and doodles

the way his gaze travels up your hospital gown and to you, you know he isn't registering anything you're saying

you sit up a little and hide the wince behind another set of promises to jeno that you are ok and you don't need him to blame himself when he has so much more going on on his plate

"you and jaemin are going to graduate after the upcoming semester and that means it's your last year with the volleyball team. you should focus on practice and being the best you can be - when i can get myself up on those crutches ill come visit to see how you guys are doing!"

he seems to soften, the sharp angles of his face that have just gotten more handsome as he ages still somehow manage to look sweet and youthful

he picks his duffel bag up off the floor and leans toward you like he's going to push some hair from your face or kiss your forehead

he's done both before - but this is the first time the gesture has made the blood in your veins stop and something imaginary clog in the back of your throat

instead of doing either jeno seems to buffer as he hovers above you, reaching out to fluff the edge of your pillow

"ok, but also you have to be serious about your recovery."

he pulls back and the same concern as before washes over him, his vocal tone lowers

"don't go doing anything dangerous."

you point to your cast with a half-smile

"i don't think that's going to be possible."

you get discharged from the hospital the next day, not that it brightens your summer any further, you basically just end up trading the hospital bed for the four walls of your own room

the group chat explodes with more well wishes

but you change the subject, all the pity makes you cringe

'how was volleyball practice?'

several people start typing - except for jeno

jaemin's reply comes first, 'it was good!'

followed by jisung's, 'but.....jeno didn't show up...'

renjun adds 'he said he wasn't feeling well - don't worry!'

you furrow your eyebrows

'has anyone visited him? does he need medicine?'

haechan texts something before anyone can really stop him, 'im pretty sure he's just being sad - if he had the stomach flu we all be sick. we eat together everyday.'

'haechan!' mark replies as jaemin sends a shaking his head emoji

'wait. jeno is sad?'

it goes silent and then suddenly jeno is typing

'im not sad, im fine. ill be at practice tomorrow.'

you let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding in

it's only natural that you, as jeno's friend, would be worried about him. at least, that's what you tell yourself.

to be honest - now that you're not out enjoying summer - you're more than ever stuck with your own thoughts and the most recent string of them is: what changed between you and jeno?

for years it had been easy going fun, the simple enjoyment of each others company

but ever since it started getting warm enough for t-shirts - there has been a shift in the central point of you and jeno's friendship

you are suddenly hyper-aware of how strong the outline of his arms looks.

you notice when he wears different cologne.

you see the way other people turn their heads to look at him when he walks by, the way they pick up on the handsome features that make up your best friend

and you can't help but feel something cruel and cold fester in the pit of your stomach when you think jeno might one day look back at that stranger ..... and notice their features too

you sit up, which is a mistake because you shift your foot and it makes you yelp, but you look at your phone again

the gc has moved onto topics of video games so you message jeno outside of it

'hey, if something is wrong you can tell me'

he reads the message and doesn't reply. you tell yourself that's totally fine.

a couple of weeks pass before anyone lets you limp out of the house by yourself

you've mastered crutches and when you really need something, one of your friends delivers it

although recently, it seems to be everyone but jeno

everything otherwise seems normal

no one really talks about volleyball - which is fine, you just assume they're busy practicing

and so you hobble down to the school gym that's still open for the student-athletes during the break and are secretly happy to bump into mark who helps you with the stairs

"by the way, don't be upset with him ok."

mark says before you enter the gym - you look at him with a raised eyebrow

"upset with who?"

mark swallows - just tilts his head and when you go inside you look everywhere, you see everyone, but you don't see jeno

"im guessing he isn't in the locker rooms?"

you ask mark with a deflated tone of voice, mark shakes his head

"he hasn't been to practice at all."

you can understand why no one had told you.

like mark said, they knew you'd get on his case about it - which is what you plan on doing when you end up on his front porch

jeno comes down with messy hair and basketball shorts on. he's not wearing a shirt and immediately you think you lose the ability to speak

"you shouldn't be walking around just yet."

he says and you frown

"it's been a while now, plus im not here about me. im here to ask what you think you're doing."

jeno crosses his arms and you hate the involuntary flex of his muscles.

actually, you don't hate it, you hate that you stare when you don't mean to.

he ushers you into the backyard and motions for you to sit on one of the patio chairs

he's still being the same thoughtful guy you grew up with but you're beyond confused

"are you quitting volleyball - why aren't you going to practice?"

"im not quitting. i just don't feel like it - i don't feel like doing anything."

you reach out with one of your crutches to poke him, he makes a face

"im the one with a broken ankle - im the one who gets to be depressed. c'mon, tell me what's really wrong."

jeno falls silent, you notice that he hasn't completely shaved and there's a bit of a shadow on his jawline

you swallow the sudden dryness in your throat

this is your best friend since you were kids. you are literally not going to think anything but pure thoughts from now on. ok. stop. don't you dare.

"that's the thing. you have a broken ankle, you can't even go to the beach and im supposed to do what - enjoy the summer without my best friend?"

he throws his hands up and you see an expression you barely ever get from jeno form on his face

"i could have stopped you from being reckless, i could have made sure you weren't in that stupid cast and that you could-"

"jeno!"

you cut him off and he looks at you, the momentary distraction of your newfound attraction to him dissipates as you grind your teeth

"i told you that it's no way your fault i got hurt - plus it's not like you personally broke my ankle and im not suffering torturous pain. things happen like this in life - don't beat yourself up about it!"

you wish you could get up to make your point, but the best you manage is a shaky lift grabbing onto your chair

jeno gets up to help you but you shoo him away

"it hurts me more to see you moping around on my behalf! did you think about that, how it would make me feel to hear that my injury is making you slack on the things you like?!"

he blinks and you suddenly feel a rush of different things

one is that you hate how he seems to be so full of pity for you, another is that you hate how he's kind of right about this summer being pointless now that you can barely move, but the last is that because of all these things happening you can't even properly wrap your head around the fact that you think you like him

and not in the platonic way you'd been beating on liking him your whole life

so to add this to the pile - you take your crutches and give him a stern look

"just start going to practice. i told you when i was in the hospital, i'll always come to cheer you on when i can. that doesn't change for me, broken ankle or not because you're my best friend and i want to see you succeed."

and i love you

you don't say the last part, you bite your lip back and although you can't storm off in your usual fiery passion, you make it out of his backyard and let a heaviness fall off your chest as you somehow manage to get back home

the sound of messages incoming on your phone are drowned away by your tiredness

i just want to be a source of happiness for you, i never wanted to be your burden jeno.

the next day there's a knock on your bedroom door - you tell them to come in and go wide-eyed when you see jeno there

he's in his volleyball uniform and he's holding something in his hands

"jen-"

"im sorry. you were right, i can't use you as an excuse to be lazy anymore. i brought these."

he hands you the tupperware of cookies and you are about to ask him if he made these when jeno's familiar, warm laughter fills your room

"i didn't make them, they're chipsahoy but i thought the gesture could count."

you look down at them - he's so silly.

you look back up at jeno's smile - i really love him.

"good. now go have fun at practice, ill visit you guys later in the week."

he comes closer to you and suddenly the air in the room stills, he leans over and you think you can feel the temperature of your skin rise to an unsafe level when he hooks his pinkie with yours

"promise?"

you nod and he disappears with a wave. you sit in your bed and hold the cookies.

maybe breaking my ankle and not spending every minute around him might actually have been a good thing.

as you promised, you show up to practice at the end of the week.

jeno is there and he lights up when he sees you, helps you with your crutches and everyone gathers around to tell you how thankful they are that you went and got jeno to comeback

jisung randomly sputters a, "the only person who can control him is you. it's like he's your boyfriend."

mark catches the look on your face before jeno does and flicks jisung on the head, "what do you know about dating - c'mon lets go get water for everyone."

the comment swims around your head for the entire time you're there - and you don't know it, but it swims around jeno's as well

when practice is over, jaemin offers to drive everyone home - no one agrees because they're probably terrified of his driving

and jeno says he'll be the one to walk you home

it's nothing unusual, you've been with jeno throughout your whole childhood, but there seems to be a weird pause among your group when he announces it

when you and him set off toward your house, mark does something weird - he winks at you and you take a second before

oh - he knows i like jeno doesn't he?

you can only go at the of the equivalent of snail's pace, and jeno matches it without complaint

you don't say anything and it makes it that much harder to distract the chanting about how good he looks and how you can't believe you're that person who fell in love with their best friend and how this summer is so confusing its almost vomit-inducing and-

"hey, would it be weird if i liked you?"

it feels like the earth itself has been dropped from the shoulders of atlas, you think suddenly all the gravity has gone and disappeared

you stop and look at jeno who sets his bag down on the asphalt

the boy you met when you were young is suddenly not a boy anymore, his shadow is tall and mature against the setting summer sun

"liked me?"

he scratches the back of his neck and then nods

"i had said i can't use your injury as my excuse to be lazy. i actually wasn't being lazy, i was just going through a hard time because i thought i had hurt the person most important to me in the world."

your heart thumps against your chest so hard it kind of hurts

"me?"

"yeah, and i realized your friend can be the most important person in the world - but i think it's different the way i feel about now......i like you."

"i love you."

you blurt it out before you can even really stop yourself, jeno looks shocked for about a second before it breaks into a big smile on his face

the one you haven't seen in what seems like forever, the one that feels genuine and right

"oh cool, i actually love you too - i just didn't know if i should say it-"

"can you come over here and kiss me, these crutches are kind of making it hard for me."

no one is surprised when you and jeno announce in the gc that you're going on your first date

mark tries to act it, but literally everyone is like finally - you do ask mark if he knew all along about how you felt and he goes i knew how you felt and how jeno felt. you two are open books.

the date isn't as thrilling as you both might have wanted, the broken ankle is still kind of getting in the way, so jeno takes you out to the lake and does all the rowing himself

you offer, since it's your hands, but he insists he can do it himself and he does. seriously, he's way stronger than you remember him being a year ago.

you guys eat on the grass when you get back and he effortlessly picks you back up onto your feet, you swoon everytime but try not to show it

and when jeno drops you off - he kisses you again, and this time he doesn't have to have you tell him to - he picks the perfect moment

being his best friend and dating him doesn't change too much, it's just you're now holding hands everytime you hangout and you're kissing in the back of jaemin's car much to his disappointment and well

it's just made everything easier - you're not wrapped in your head about what's different, because nothing is, you just are honest with how you both feel

jeno and jaemin even get visited by scouts for volleyball and when jeno tells you about it you try to jump up to hug him and he's like bABE CAST but too late you're like OW and he's like oh god oh god let me hold you

you're like jeno let's learn to bake cookies for real so we don't have to buy chipsahoy to give each other and he's down for it but then you both almost set the kitchen on fire and call renjun like ten times to ask about the recipe and basically you are both banned from baking again

your cast gets filled in with hearts from jeno...you let him lay his head on you when he's playing games on his phone and you're like watching him play and when you get bored you're like let's kiss instead

jeno leaves all his hoodies 'accidentally' over at your house because he knows you like wearing them but won't admit it outloud

the summer continues on until suddenly it's colder outside and the reality of school coming back dawns on everyone

and also, you get the date for when your cast will be removed

jeno asks if you're going to keep it once it gets cracked - you say you might, you woulnd't want to lose all those cute hearts he scribbled on them and he just smiles and kisses your forehead

"i'd scribble all the hearts everywhere for you."

"that's cute, we should save that for when we get married."

and you do save it for then - years later when you're showing jeno the design on your invitations

beside both your names is a cluster of different hearts, all doodled by jeno himself

"how'd you get these?"

"kept a part of my broken cast."

he stares at you with wide eyes

"im joking, i got them off a napkin you doodled on when we were at dinner."

jeno pokes his tongue out at you and you giggle as he wraps his arms around your waist as to not let you get away

the softness of your love and silliness of your friendship is still there

it'll always be there - through all the broken ankles, casts, and doodled hearts to come.

[soracities]

hey, do you have any writing about feeling anger? im going thru it rn and i figured id ask

“Anger is a bitter lock. But you can turn it.”

— Anne Carson, “Hokusai”

“Isn’t all that rage so ugly? / And isn’t it mine, still? / Good god, isn’t it mine?”

— Ashe Vernon, “Buried”

— Khadija Queen,  “Theory; Evidence of uncertain shifts”

“A strange rage filled her, a rage to tear things asunder.”

— D.H. Lawrence, The Rainbow

“I bide time,/ Horse-tongued & blue as poison, the double / Line of my eyes gone to slits. I hate like a tooth hurts, / At the root”

— Jane Yeh, “Revenger’s Tragedy”

“Give me blood and rage and a heart for horror; teach me to be tough enough to face this world still standing. Make a Fury of me.”

— Elizabeth Hewer, “Finding Ariadne”

— mahogany l. browne, “litany”

“They tell me, shaking their heads: ‘You should be kinder. You are somehow furious.’ I used to be kind. It didn’t last long.”

— Yevgeny Yevtushenko, “Fury”

“The rage in women is terrifying. The rage in Hester Swane is terrifying. The rage doesn't come out of nowhere. The rage comes out of being said no to just one time too many, where you should have been said yes to, if the world was fair [...] and if society is always saying no to you, that rejection has to go somewhere. It turns dark, it erupts.”

— Marina Carr, “How Wonderful to Burn Down the Whole World”

“I was a girl. I was juniper or magnolia, all violet and rage.”

— Lorna Dee Cervantes, ‘Before You Go’,

“I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”

— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

“Two eyes the colour of anger, a ring of cold, a belt of blood — “

— Octavio Paz, “Central Park”

— Beth Fein, “Philomela,”

“Do you know what it is to dance with rage? That’s what I do inwardly again and again.

— Henry Miller, letter to Hoki Tokuda Miller

“MEDEA : Anger, the spring of all life’s horror, masters my resolve.”

— Euripides, Medea

“A savage desire for strong emotions and sensations burns inside me: a rage against this soft-tinted, shallow, standardized and sterilized life, and a mad craving to smash something up, a department store, say, or a cathedral, or myself.”

— Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf

“Is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name?”

— Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch

“Anger has its place. Anger has fire, and fire moves things.”

— Nina Simone

[qingxintea]

heartbreak avenue (3) || albedo x reader

heartbreak avenue (1) heartbreak avenue (2) -- tell me how, do you do this thing called living? when theres nothing more to gain. gn reader -- ignore the link below idk how tf to hyperlink on mobile but that’s ur part 4 ig

damn. imagine missing mond so much that you visit just for the vibes and accidentally become a one time vigilante for dominating over a couple abyss mages

how oddly specific!

you moment.

TO BE FAIR, you didn't mean to and also ur just strong with that 245% crit damage ugh yeah yeah get it ig

it was night time, like, idk 1am and you were in this cloak because idk look swaggy and comfortable

abyss mage went ŏ̸̡̡̹̘͉̫̬̬̭̘̙̝͐͒̆̈́̒̿̄́͠͝ǒ̸̧̺͕̣̬̝̱͈̭̭̻̮̈̏̔͆̑̀̍ǫ̵̡̜̲̭̠̤̰̹͍̣͎̤̈́̓̍͠ḩ̴̡͍̣̹̯̭̩̮̣̩̭́̔̀̍͊̂͒́̆͘͜͝͝ȃ̷̧̡̢̡̨̛̪͓̤̜͕̳̦̼͊̏̃͆̓̈́̈́̽̈́͌͐̋̚ͅh̸̡̩͍̟͕̥͚̰̰̟̮̖̪̉̈́͛͂̍̾a̸̧̢͕̙̞̳̩͈̲͉͕̒̆̎̐̎̍̀͊͘̚͝h̸̡̼͓̝͕̫̤̰̱̬̣̗͚̙̀͜ and you were like "lmao shut up"

and like it did! because you made it shut up and also mans diluc was watching in his dark knight hero thingy

of course you noticed his presence from the beginning, you just wanted to piss him off and act like he wasn't there at all

you walked. straight past him like he was actually on the bridge in the middle and you just w al ked .

i mean ofc he gonna say something. and he did. dude said "who r u"

stared at him directly in the eye and said "the embryo made of chewed bubblegum."

he stared. sh o ck ed . what were you even saying

"jk im a resident of mondstadt, visiting from my liyue trip."

"and how do i know you arent lying?"

you sighed and grabbed your dendro vision, letting him look at the frame. "its incased in a mondstadt styled frame." after a few seconds, you put it back. "if that is all, i'll be going."

"k"

"literally fuck off" you responded and walked inside.

sometimes you forget how rude mondstadt people are lmao loser.

ok so like this donna girl really went up to you like "JFKLSJFLKSDJFL NUMBER ??? HELLO ?? UMM THE WAY YOU SAVED MONDSTADT RLKDFFC" and you resisted every urge to flip her off on the spot.

you just stayed and let her talk, smiling through all of it. your hood was still on but it was quite windy s ooo

its been ten minutes. girl please let us go. you were literally begging for anyone to cut in because ur too nice (or unbothered) to tell her to shut up even though you totally went off on diluc aadahahhshdf

and someone did! not the one you expected though.

"good evening donna, and... oh? who would you be?"

ALBEDO LMAO GET STICKBUGGED? ? ? ?? AH a hjfkahfjah . im so funny .

guys i meant that ironically please

anyway

you got even more uncomfortable lmao and you just looked at him and smiled. what do you respond? "no one of importance."

he heard your voice, saw your eyes and it registered. it was you...

or was that what he wanted to believe?

cause this whole time hes been waiting for you, only using experiments as a thing to pass time. it got... a little more lonelier, because nothing could replace you.

he decided to not believe it. because 1) you knew well they welcomed you with open arms, so there would be no need to hide yourself

(which is also proof of how much the whole situation fucked up your thinking)

a second of silence before he continues on the conversation with normal evening meeting stuff things idk

then ur like "ahhshaaajk i must be taking my leave now for matters i will not disclose ahaha skidoosh"

skidoosh

so you go to the big venti statue next to the cathedral and just stand. stare. yikes

no ones out right now and theres nothing to do. but you remember this place because its where the both of yall would eat together whenever he had free time (which wasnt that often, but he still made the effort)

you look up to the sky, counting all the stars like you used to.

no ones gonna know that you're here, you decided on that. you only visited because you simply missed it, but after this, you were going back to liyue.

no ones gonna know. because no one needs to know. no one needs to know that you were here. that would only cause more trouble to the situation you tried to avoid

albedo ends up catching up to you later, still having some spark of hope left that it really was you

i mean lowkey there isnt really anything saying it wasnt. he wanted to believe that he was just overthinking when he thought it really wasnt you

like you look the same. sound the same. its just the reasoning of you coming here, but he can push that aside

"(y/n)."

you flinch but didnt react with anything else. he doesnt need to know that its you.

"(y/n)?"

you turn around to meet his eyes as he was approaching you. slightly distancing yourself another inch away as you were not used to the proximity, you responded, "i'm afraid i'm not the one you're looking for."

albedo stops for a moment, and was about to apologize,, but then

yknow that wind i mentioned earlier? like right after donna started bothering you

yeah that same wind blew ur hood off! lmao L

okay time to get serious !

you stay composed and sighed, your breath visible in the cold air.

so your features are exposed, and its so obviously you, like theres literally no way it cannot be you

"it really is you..." he doesnt understand why youre not admitting to it. "(y/n), please.."

you shake your head and walk away but mans grabs your wrist gently

"(y/n), whats wr-" he starts, but youre quick to respond

"im not (y/n)." you flat out said it and looked right into his eyes. and you swear there were small tears even if he was deemed nonchalant.

he doesnt understand, its your physical features, and your same energy, there is no other person that completely matches it.

he pulls you closer to examine this black smudge on your hand, a small yelp of surprise coming from you.

"this is... ink," he studied the properties of the substance. "you responded to my letter a day ago. (y/n)... i know by now. there's no reason to hide it."

you step away, freeing your hand from his grasp. your voice broke, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "i'm not... i'm not (y/n). i never will be. i'll never be so vulnerable again, i'll never be so naive again, i'll never be so lonely again, i will never ever be anything like they were again."

your vision blurred, but you werent oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as well. reaching to brush them away, you paused and let it drop to his shoulder instead.

"albedo. i... the (y/n) you knew... they're gone now. and if i could revert back to them any time, i would, i swear, but... i'm al-... they..." you buried your head in your hands. "i'm broken. to the point that i refuse to identify as the (y/n) you know me by."

doesnt know what to say, so he almost pulls you into a hug before you move out of the way. something you never did.

"don't... please. it never works out in the end." you shake your head, facing the other way. "for me at least."

"..we could work together, no?" he tried, still oblivious about your feelings towards him.

"only if you're willing to cross your moral boundaries," you looked back and tilted your head. taking a deep breath, you continued, "but you know that neither of us are willing to do that."

he couldn't say anything, because as much as he hated to admit something for once, you were right about that. at this point, he would've thought that literally any extent would've been fine to reach to bring you back.

yet in multiple situations where he's doubted himself before, theres always a line he will never cross.

"...i wish you the best. treat her well because i worked hard." you walked away without him stopping you this time. i worked hard. not we worked hard.

even if you had honestly felt that way, there was no chance the old you wouldve actually voiced that.

and so he watched you slip from his grasp again, only this time, he stopped himself from holding you back from his own will.

yet he swears- the next time he meets you again, he will bring you back.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Counterpart to this

(Chat noir's side)

Shadowmoth had entered here!

Chat noir was sure of it.

Ladybug had told chat noir to sit tight while she and Rena Rouge went to get help. Sentimonsters were running rampant and the trio agreed that it was too much for them alone.

But how could he when Shadowmoth was right there! This could be the only chance they had of tracking him down!

The Cats night vision helped him naviagate the dark underground of the city. It didn't take long for the cat hero to realize he was in the catacombs.

"Spooky. Oddly fitting for Shadowmoth."

He pulls out his communicator to contact Ladybug... but no signal.

"I can't connect, strange... Ill jump out and call..." Chat noir's sentence was stopped as he collided with a wall.

"What the... I could have sworn that there was a door way behind me." The cat commented.

He decided to start walking. Perhaps finding the villain would make finding the way out easier.

Chat noir began making his way through the catacombs. The place emitted a feeling of ominous dread. He never did like this place.

The tight dark spaces, the creepy feeling of being watched, and the nasty smell. Of course Shadowmoth would feel right at home.

Chat noir found himself hitting a dead end.

"Jeez this place is like a maze."

His nail to scratch an X on the wall.

"Thats one dead end."

The Cat hero made it a habit of doing that whenever he ran into a dead end.

As he encountered more and more dead ends her felt his calm start to shake.

"Is this place getting smaller?" He said in a joking manner to himself, but clearly was more panicked than he was trying to let on.

He started moving a bit faster, trying to find an exit, but every path seemed to take him to an X.

"No way, I know I haven't been down this way before..." Chat noir spoke in disbelief.

He was starting to get frustrated. Surely Ladybug noticed he was gone.

"Calm down Chat noir, Ladybug likely noticed you're missing and will be here to help."

"Hey where's chat noir?" a voice calls out. A familiar voice.

Chat noir focused on the sound, it was Rena rouge! He rushed to find the location of the sound.

"Rena! I am so glad to..."

Chat noir found himself looking at a wall, but something was different. Instead of a blank wall, it was projecting something. Chat noir could see Rena Rouge and Ladybug as clear as day. He could hear them.

"Where is that cat, I told him to wait here." Ladybug stated with a bit of annoyance.

"Should we go look for him?" Rena Rouge inquired.

"Look at the city! we don't have time to search. Im sure he will catch up." Ladybug insisted.

"Right!"

The two fist bump and run off as they head into battle.

Chat noir took that as a sign that he needed to find a way out. But as he turned, he noticed the way he came was gone. There was no door. He was just stuck in the room, with the broadcast. Chat noir finally realized it, this place was alive!

"So its a sentimonster's doing! Lets see how you like it when I destroy..."

Suddenly a pair of eyes show up on the wall. Then another pair.

The cat realized, the sentimonster WANTED him to use his power. It would cause the place to go haywire and he would be put on a time limit. He could be exposed if he tried it. What should he do?

Chat noir looked around the small room and noticed the broadcast was continuing. He took a deep disappointed sigh. All he could really do was watch. If things get really desperate for Ladybug, he will cataclysm the sentimonster and rush to her, consequences or not.

So Chat noir sat down and continued watching the broadcast.

He heard every quip, every word. He saw how Ladybug got down on herself when the guardian's Su Han had called got controlled.

He saw the reveal of Rena Rouge being Alya as she had to fight her akumatized family. That was a shock! And he could see the emotion of the whole situation.

He even saw Ladybug hit her lowest point which seemed to happen whenever Shadowmoth did something extra nefarious.

Chat noir tried calling out to her, trying to cheer her on, but he wasn't needed. Rena Rouge took over. She told Ladybug the encouraging words in his place.

"Even if its just the two of us, we can fight the whole world." Rena Rouge stated confidently. "Trust me."

Ladybug smiled as she met the fox's fist with her own.

"There's no one I can trust more!'

Chat noir felt his heart shatter. Was this real? Was this really happening? Was this just an illusion made by the sentimonster that trapped him? Regardless it was torture.

But he couldn't stop watching. He saw how Ladybug and the other heroes turned it all around. Scarlet shadow moth was shocked. He was in awe of ladybug and the other heroes. He was giving the cliché villain speech of how it wasn't possible, and then at the moment the Rena Rouge snagged his staff, the broadcast ended.

"I wasn't needed..."

He hugged his knees.

"Was I holding her back? Rena Rouge didn't need to sacrifice herself. She did everything I would have done but better..." Chat noir whispered as he felt his heart sink.

Was she just humoring me by keeping me around? Was I there just to be comic relief? Does she even trust me? Did she notice he was gone the whole time? Would she even care if he left?

These thoughts flooded the depressed cats mind.

Was she my partner only out of obligation?

That last thought made him stand up.

"CATACLYSM!" He roared as he hit the wall infront of him.

He heard the wailing of the creature that made up the maze. He saw the walls shifting like crazy! Some expanding and other's tightening. He needed to get out of there!

He still felt those negative feelings and it clouded his mind as he failed to dodge one of the moving walls, snapped on his leg like a mouse trap.

"No!"

Chat noir felt his despair grow as he noticed more walls moving and pulling him down. He was doomed.

"No wonder Ladybug wants to replace me." He said as a tear streamed down his face.

Thats when the cat noticed a black butterfly move towards him.

"No!" Chat noir tried to struggle but he couldn't get away as the akuma flew into his bell.

Chat noir screamed as the akuma tried to get into his head, but he can hear the sweet calls. It can give him the power to escape, he can have the power to show Ladybug he isn't replaceable.

He can show them all.

Chat noir did his best to resist. But all of the emotions he had been trying to suppress had burst to the surface, he couldn't resist.

He felt his resistance slip. The sentimonster stopped moving as Chat noir heard Shadowmoth's words.

“Chat Blanc! I give you the power of infinite destruction, to destroy anything and everything that causes you pain. In exchange, you will bring me Ladybug’s miraculous.”

Chat noir felt himself give in.

His black costume shift to become white. His green eyes turned a cold ice blue. His blond hair also matched his costume.

A new emotion filled him.

Pure rage.

"Mega Cataclysm."

A massive burst of destructive energy burst from his hand. He erased the rampaging sentient maze. He could finally see the outside.

He looked around and saw the Eiffel Tower.

"There." He said to himself before sprinting towards it.

Chat blanc noticed a few foolish individuals trying to stop his approach, but they were not strong enough to stop him. He casually swiped them without slowing his pace.

In a matter of minutes he had reached the top of the French monument.

“Excellent timing Chat Blanc.”

The Cat looked at the villain for a moment, expressionless. Internally he was seething in anger. All of the pain the villain had caused him. He hated him

“Ladybug we might need a lucky charm here”

The cat heard Rena Rouge say.

“It happened again…”

Ladybug muttered in horror.

She seemed to be zoning out. Was he not even worth her attention.

“Now Chat Blanc. Take the miraculous!”

Chat blanc had no interest in the villain's commands. But a thought popped into his head.

“I shall.”

Shadowmoth Laughed only to suddenly de-transform into Gabriel Agreste, right in front of the two heroes.

He had snatched both miraculous from him, and was looking at the villain with sharp eyes.

The cat villain was shocked for a split second. But it made sense in a sick cosmic sense. He decided he didn't care. His father was a monster that didn't care about him, so why should he care about his father?

“Chat Blanc! How dare you disobey me! I am your…”

“You are nothing…”

Chat blanc cataclysmed the man before he finished his sentence.

“… but a failure of a father.”

He turned his attention to Ladybug and Rena Rouge.

“Wow… that was excessive… But no worries. Just pass ladybug the akumatized item and we can undo all the damage done today.” Rena Rouge said as she composed herself.

The cat looked at the fox with contempt, how he wanted nothing more to destroy her for replacing him. But... a new more sinister thought pops into his head.

Chat Blanc raised his hand in the air.

“Cataclysm.”

A ball of white light formed in his palm and began growing.

Ladybug snapped back to reality as the gravity of the situation became real.

“Chaton stop! You can’t destroy everything! This isn’t you!”

He would destroy her legacy.

“Destroy Akuma Charms” He spoke.

Little balls of energy bursted out from the large cataclysm. The tiny energy balls located and destroyed every anti akuma charm Ladybug had ever created.

After that task was finished. Chat blanc lowered his hand, and a Cheshire grin appeared on his face.

“So I finally have your attention.”

[kittydcoxx]

Stay with Me.

KAEYA X READER.

Warnings: light angst/heartbreak but nothing bad (happy ending)

The tavern was as crowded as usual, and by that meaning almost completely baren for a rainy Wednesday afternoon. As you order a apple cider from Charles, the tavern door bell rings and you instinctively turn to check.

"Ah~ it is pouring out, I need a drink to combat the dissapointment of getting my fur cape wet."

Kaeya. Of course he wasnt the last person you'd expect to see open the tavern doors, he just wasnt much of a "afternoon delight" type drinker. Still, you stare as he tries to cooly swipe off the wet rain from his uniform as he walks towards the counter and takes a seat next to you.

"Well, well! Good afternoon y/n! What a suprise to see a beauty such as yourself here at this hour."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks as he turns to look straight ahead and run his fingers through his hair, not allowing time for you to respond before he has a drink in his hand.

"Afternoon Captain,"

You face him and smirk with the same intensity of flirty-ness as he just had.

"Of course you would be surprised to see me at this hour, you usually drink yourself to sleep before i order a evening drink."

You chuckle and look straight ahead and take a swig of your beverage, the confidence of your little witty come back replays as the cider burns your throat.

"Oh ho, well thats quite the attitude! I must ask, whats the purpose of this?"

"Hmm?"

"The occasion? I've never seen you drink three days in a row, I've been sober enough to pay attention to that."

The truth is, the last few days you've been at a bit of a crossroads. You know you and the Cavalry Captain share feelings, but you have a job offer in Natlan. This job is a dream to you, ever since you were a child. You could never dream of passing this opportunity, but you question if this possible romance could be the first significant one. You've been meaning to bring it up to him, but recently you just havent seen enough of him to bring up the subject. As a result, you turned to the more than occassional drink at the tavern to brighten your mood from the decision that faces you.

"Well then if you're interested, it actually... might concern you."

Your face is flushed red due to nerves, of course it doesnt directly concern him since nothing astronomical has occured in order to absolutely weigh your decision based on a man, but you didnt want to leave without warning.

"I see, well, we haven't..." His cheeks grow the slightest bit red as his eyes skip to look around then back at you.

"we haven't progressed to that yet, have we? I mean, you're not pregnant are you?"

"What?!" You're taken aback by the direct-ness of his statement, about the fact that he thought it could even have been a possibility. Was it confirming your suspicions of him returning feelings? "No, i- its not that! That is out of the question completely!" You yelp as you shake your hands as a frantic meaning of saying "Absolutely no way".

"Of course! of course.. i just figured i'd ask in case, but i guess drinking for a few days regularly isnt particularly healthy for a baby."

You roll your eyes and take another swig. Oh boy.

"It's actually more of an advice thing, i suppose."

"Ah~ well! lets discuss then, hm!" He happily takes a sip of his wine, his face surprisingly relieved.

"So? What do you need the great Master Kaeya's guidance on?" He smiles and giggles slightly.

"Actually, I'd like to take this outside."

"But its raining cats and-"

"Outside. please."

Your tone picks up more aggresively and he gets the memo. He takes one more sip of his beverage and you do the same with yours. You pay Charles and meet Kaeya right at the door.

"Get ready for the rain, sweetheart"

Your heart jumps as he grabs your wrist and swings open the door, pulling you with him down the street, stopping at a small archway behind a building, big enough to comfortably converse without being cramped or drenched.

"Now, where were we?"

"right.. well.." You look down and fidget with your thumbs, only to look back up at him and see him gazing into your eyes, examining your soul and what felt like your heart. Did he already know? It sure felt like it.

"I have a big decision to make, but i want to ask you before i come to a concrete decision."

He nods as a sign to continue talking, acknkowledging his position in helping you decide.

"I might have to move away. To natlan more specifically. I've recieved a dream~ job offer that i simply cant refuse, unless i was faced with new circumstances here in Mondstadt."

"Hm, And how do i play a role in this?" He asks as he folds his arms and leans back against the stone wall.

You explain to him his part, and he lets you talk until you are completely finished. you tell him your feelings, your worries, your doubts, and your hopes. Every single one that included him in the package. He looks at you sternly the whole time, but he looks hurt at the same time and you wonder why.

"Well, i honestly dont know what to say to this y/n. You know i cant leave Mondstadt if we were to persue eachother."

"I know."

"Then why bother telling me? Why not just leave, hm? Before damage could be done? before you told me all this, confirmed my hopes in our relationship but crushed it with the fact that you 'might' leave? You should have just spared me and left!"

He looks emotional and teary eyed, much more that you're used to seeing from a man who held such a cool composure 24/7. Have you hurt him that much? Does he hate you?

"I can always stay if you wan-"

"No. Its your dream job, and you shouldnt pass it off. I just cant promise that i'll wait for you."

He steps closer to you, inches from your face. His breath is warm and it contrasts with the cold rainy air. He slowly takes your hand and hold it in his, then lands a soft passionate kiss onto your lips. A few seconds of the kiss pass and he breaks for air and looks at you, making strong magnetic eye contact with you.

"Y/n, I can't wait for you."

"You dont have to. I can stay."

He runs his hands up your arms and grips firmly onto your shoulders and kisses you again, and when he pulls back he lets out a heavy sigh.

"There's no staying, just be safe. Please."

Your throat swells like a rock is stuck and your eyes burn hot along with your ears. You cant muster any words, you just stand there maintaining a sorrow eye contact for a few seconds.

As you both stare in silence, he slowly lets go of you, and as soon as his hands depart from yours, he turns and walks out and into the road. The further he walks and fades from your vision, the further you slide down the wall until your behind hits the wet floor as you curl up to your knees. Hard, Hot tears stream steadily down your cheeks as you hide your head in your knees, sobbing hard yet silently. Your heart aches and your stomach churns.

You want to run and look for him, grab him by the waist and embrace him in a hug from behind as you cry against his back, but he has already erased you from his plethora of memories as he sulks in his room with a drink. The night is weary and so are you. You walk home, replaying the scene in your mind over and over, and the instant you step into your home, you fall to your knees and sob once more.

You dont even close the door behind you. You cant do anything but cry, you had no idea you felt so strongly for Kaeya, but you had to put it all behind you.

He probably had.

What feels like an hour or two goes by and you barely made it to the couch, where you lay sprawled out, half on the couch and half not as you stare into empty space, thinking of nothing but everything at once. Why did his mood snap so quickly? Why did he cut you off? Was it self defense? What could he gain by pushing you away? You had no clue, but you didn't want to dwell on it and start crying again, so you just lay there trying to fall asleep.

Suddenly, a warm, slender hand grazes your back and rubs up and down softly.

"I'm sorry."

You jolt a little, but you dont get up immediately.

"How long have you been like this? Its almost night again y/n. Have you gotten up at all!? Your door was wide open, I was worried."

No response from you as you try to analyze the voice. It sounds like Kaeya, but you had remind yourself that he wanted nothing to do with you.

The man sighs and walks away. A hallucination for sure, you thought. The male comes back and lifts you by the shoulders. He sits on the couch and then lays your head onto his lap.

You look up and are met with blue eyes, one scarred and one as normal as you're used to seeing on him, though both glossy as if about to cry.

"Kaeya?"

"Mhm. Sit up Darling, you need to drink water."

You obey and sit close beside him, sipping the water he hands you with both hands on the glass like a child. He puts his arm around you and his hand on your head and gives you a soft yet quite long kiss on the head as you finish your water.

"Im sorry. We can work something out. I know that i shouldn't.. I can't push you away."

You dont fight his embrace as it gets firmer, and his body trembles slightly as if he is crying.

"Do you want me to stay?" you ask sheepishly.

"My dear, its up to you what you want. I'll follow you in whatever you decide. Im choosing to persue you, the rest is yours to seal."

"I want to stay." you state calmly.

"As you wish." He eyes your empty glass of water and gets up to pour you some more. When he comes back you sit against him again, and drink the glass empty, then put the glass on the coffee table and lay your head on his lap.  

"Sleepy?"

"Mhm.."

He chuckles and holds you as you fall asleep, giving you tender kisses all over your face. When you fall asleep, he carries you bridal style upstairs to your room and tucks you into your bed. For a moment he stands there and ponders leaving you to rest, but the guilt of the words he said yesterday and seeing your state today convinced him to stay at your side. He walks to the other side of the bed and crawls in beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gives you one more peck before falling asleep.

You wake up once in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and when you come back to your room you're awake enough to process the fact that Kaeya was indeed in your bed. You crawl up into where you were in the bed before but this time facing him. You run your fingers along his face, feeling every bone and inch of his smooth skin, his tan beauty enhanced by the glow of the moonlight that peeked in through the window across the room from the bed. Your run your fingers down his hair and admire how his hair falls down his body. You've only been this close to him once, but never had you touched him like this. Your face was red and your smile was definitely pronounced, and as you stroke his cheek his eyes slowly open to see your expression.

"Good morning y/n~" he smiles and wraps his arms around you softly.

"How did you sleep?"

"Actually, its midnight."

"Oh, i see. Well, lets fall back asleep shall we? Or are you wide awake?"

You don't respond immediately but instead wrap your arms around him and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"Back to sleep.."

He chuckles and brings you closer to his body, rubbing your back and stroking your hair until you both are hazy and about to fall asleep.

"I love you..." you whisper, half aware of what you just said and half not.

He pauses for a second, then gently squeezes your body as if to be his response back.

"I love you too.." he whispers back, his words echo in your mind as you drift to sleep, your dreams filled with nothing but happiness and him. 

You would stay in Mondstadt, but occasionally take trips to Natlan for a few weeks, and would try to take Kaeya with you if he wasn't too busy. The two of you became inseperable, and quite the item for some time, the story of your romance left most who heard it in tears.

After every time you tell the story, he grips your hand and grabs your face softly making you look into his eye.

"I'm glad you stayed."

He says as he pulls you in for a tender kiss, which is usually embarrassing in public but you dont mind in this case, because it was of genuine emotion and not of his flirtatious teasing.

You really do love him.

NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!

This was my first fanfic LMAO