#im so easily triggered i dont even know WHY im triggered half the time

[brelione]

Intervene (Barry X Reader)

Request:could you write a fic where Rafe is hitting on you at a party, but doesn't realize your Barry's girl? Rafe does something gross/awful and you take offense. Barry just stands back and watches you handle the situation, only stepping in before you go too far.

TW:Harrassment,sexual innuendos.

Being Barry’s girl meant helping him out at parties.Carrying a pistol,weed and coke for when shit started happening.It was one of those huge ass kook parties with loud music and plenty of stupid teenagers that were looking to buy.

Barry never forced you to leave the trailer, letting you do whatever you wanted most of the time as long as he knew where you were and that you were safe and had your phone on you just in case things went south and broke out into a fight.

He always made sure you were armed, didnt matter where you were going or who you would be with.He always had you carry a gun or a knife.He cared a lot for you, you were probably the one person on the island that he actually gave a shit about.

He remembered meeting you and immediately having an attraction to you, not just to your appearance but your overall aura and the way you spoke.He had listened to every word, the way you began to stutter when you were nervous.

He knew how you would act at parties, secretly watching you like some stalker.He admired the way that you’d take their keys, hiding them and writing a note on their leg for when they were sober enough to see properly.

You’d stay with the younger folks that were doing hard drugs to make sure that they wouldnt overdose or accidentally hurt themselves.He couldnt understand how you had the space in your mind to care about these random clients and he couldnt understand why he cared about you either.

It made him smile when you brought the money back to him, listening to the rules that he had given you and bringing back just as much as you should have.

Most of his workers would take some of the money from themselves or spend a fraction on something but you never did, not until he told you that you could when he found out that you lived in a shed with a shitty mattress on the floor with a battery powered lantern.

He would invite you over so you could sleep in a real bed and then at some point you had moved in with him.He didnt even know how he ended up falling for you and kissing you good night, hugging you from behind and pulling you to sit in his lap while he played a card game with a client.

He had noticed little things about you, how you were ready to fight anyone that dared to talk back to him.You were the only one allowed to do that and for anyone else to do that was a direct attack on both you and Barry.

Tonight Rafe had a good amount of shit on him,looking for people that were stupid enough.He had seen you at Barry’s plenty of times, never understanding where you were or why you were there.

Barry had gone to get alcohol,letting you roam free.He liked to watch you in your natural habitat,easily getting the crowds to split so you could get through.He sipped a beer,keeping an eye on you,chuckling when he noticed Rafe approach you.

He knew how much you hated the tall boy and how annoying Rafe was.He was excited to see how things would play out, a smirk on his face, taking a quick shot of fireball before turning to watch again.

“Hey beautiful.”Rafe smirked,refusing to move out of your way.You rolled your eyes,going to move around him only for him to grab your arm,squeezing your wrist. “Dont try to ignore me.”He whispered,his eyes moving down to places that they shouldnt be.You knew that you could easily destroy him, not feeling worried because you had the upper hand.Rafe just didnt know it yet.

You sighed,attempting to move past him again. “What?You think you’re too good to have a conversation with me?Dont be like that.”He chuckled,pretty much undressing you with his eyes.It was absolutely disgusting. “Im a fucking pogue,you’re not my type.”You hoped that would work.

You knew how much he despised the residents of The Cut.He shrugged, not really caring. “Doesnt matter,you’re hot.”He replied,biting down on his bottom lip. “Get the fuck out of my way.”You repeated, not backing down.

His smirk turned into nothing but emotionless,staring down at you and gripping your waist tight to hold you in place.You knew him as Rafe Cameron or ‘Country Club’.You had heard his name thrown around, mainly from Barry and the kids that Rafe terrorized.You couldnt even imagine being so pathetic that you started to beat up 16 year olds that were just living their lives.

He was a coke addict,an asshole and an all around terrible guy.He would stare at you whenever he saw you in Barry’s place,whether it be on the bed or in the main room with a blunt in between your fingers.His eyes would go wide when they fell on your practically bare chest,his face flushing and looking away quickly.It was annoying as all hell.

 “Do you know who the fuck I am?”He asked,fingernails digging into your skin. “Yeah?You think youre cool shit?Nobody gives a fuck who you are.”You snarled at him,scratching up both his wrists with your nails,creating red bloody lines.He stared down in horror. 

“You fucking bitch-I should punish you.”He grabbed at both your wrists,seeming like he was trying to throw you to the ground but not succeeding.He smiled a bit,licking his lips. “Can you imagine if I fucked you?You’re gonna look at me and tell me youre not interested?”He asked, looking you up and down.Managing to get one of your arms free,grabbing your pistol and holding the cold metal against Rafe’s chest.

Barry sighed,finishing his beer,deciding to intervene before you pulled the trigger.If it were anyone else he probably would’ve let you shoot but because it was Rafe he would lose half of his business if the son of a bitch was dead.Rafe watched,eyebrows furrowed as Barry came up behind you,his arms locking around your waist,whispering in your ear. 

“You wanna shoot him, baby?Go ahead and do it.Or you can let me punish the bitch, your choice.”He kissed your temple,smirking when you let out a sigh and dragged the cold metal down Rafe’s chest and put the pistol back in its place.

 “What did I tell you about messing with my shit?”Barry asked, squeezing your waist with a grin on his face as Rafe’s eyes widened, gulping. “Huh?You’re not gonna answer me?”Barry was holding you by his side,a smirk on his face. “I-I dont...you said not to mess with anything.”Rafe mumbled,staring at your gun nervously.

Barry nodded,squeezing your waist. “Yeah,that includes my girl.”Barry glanced over at you, Rafe’s heart dropping into his stomach.He didnt know that you were Barry’s.He had seen you around the trailer plenty of times,even seeing you on Barry’s bed in just your bra and underwear but he had assumed you were just the drug dealer’s fuck buddy. 

“I-I didnt know...im sorry.”Rafe mumbled, not quite satisfying you. “Why are you apologizing to me?Im not the one you tried to fuck, what?You dont got any respect for my girl? Fuckin misogynist ass.”Barry glared,thinking about a million ways he could absolutely pulverize the kook in front of him.

You chuckled,your arm around Barry. “Yeah, rich bitch.You want me to fucking shoot you in that ugly face of yours?I think your brain would look pretty great splattered across the ceiling.What do you think,Bear?”You asked your boyfriend,noticing the way his eyes were twinkling at the way you were being so assertive.

 “I think it’d look great,some color in this fuckin prison lookin place.”Barry agreed,looking up at the bare ceiling. “No-no,please!Dont kill me-im sorry.Im sorry, I didnt realize.”Rafe stuttered,making you laugh.

 “What?You’re only sorry because you know that im Barry’s bitch?What if I wasnt?”You asked,rolling your fingertip over the trigger of the gun.Rafe licked his lips,not knowing where to look or what to do. 

“I just...I didnt mean it like that.”He muttered, quite literally about to shit his pants. “You didnt mean what?Didnt mean to what?To bruise me or say rude shit to me?Which is it?”You asked,watching Barry’s jaw clench.

You hummed when he didnt answer, lifting up your leg and kicking him hard in the crotch.The boy collapsed,gasping for air.You pulled Barry’s arm off you,kneeling down and grabbing Rafe by his hair,pulling his head up before slamming his face onto the tile and sending his teeth through his bottom lip.

You smiled,giggling as you grabbed Barry’s hand. “Alright, lets go home.”You smiled up at your boyfriend,kissing him gently before leading him out of the large house.Rafe’s friends were rushing towards him and trying to figure out what happened.

You couldnt care less, Rafe Cameron’s friends were a ton of pussies that wouldnt dare to mess with someone that had a gun.Barry twirled you around, chuckling as you got into the car, his hand on your thigh as he drove. “He was scared shitless, baby.Its cute when you’re all defensive.”He grinned,pulling in behind the trailer.

 “Shut up.”You answered,going inside and getting on the bed,emptying your pockets of drugs,laying down properly.He came in a few moments later,stripping into just his boxers and his tanktop,climbing into the bed next to you, pulling one of the many blankets over the both of you with a sigh. “You shouldve shot him.”He grumbled. “Yeah, maybe next time.”You kissed his forehead.

@outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off 

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.If you’d like to be tagged in Barry imagines/headcannons comment with a purple emoji.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

[venusmages]

THAT BEING SAID, heres my list of criticisms for CP2077 so far because i’m not just blindly praising it. under a readmore for a few spoilers, one major character spoiler so if you’re playing don’t read this until youre finished with act 1

this isnt bringing into the account of the criticisms console players are talking about bc im on PC, but i completely agree with frustrated console players about launch being a mess.

the fact that they cut you being able to take jackie with you to go meet with meredith is really frustrating. i wonder if they lost time and it broke something because it was in the gameplay demo from a while back.

on the same vein, t-bugs ‘death’ was so sudden and fast that i didn’t even register it as her supposedly dying until v brings it up later in the level. i thought she had just gotten hurt and booted from the program. if she’s actually dead i’m going to be incredibly disappointed and its going to be one of my few genuine sour notes on the game.

the romances are laughably inserted and shouldn’t have even been part of marketing in my opinion. from my understanding it looks like they’re all sidequests and there’s only like four of them total anyways. dont bother if your v isnt into one of the two options they have and just pretend youre kissin whoever you want lol

takemuras introduction was amazing but i feel like i missed a dialog somewhere that explained why he ended up getting chased by arasaka so fast after the events of act 1. i know his motivation but am a little confused about whats going on.

in the same vein, some optional dialog choices don’t actually feel optional if you don’t want to feel like you’re missing context for whats going on. i don’t mean this in a lore way, i mean this in a basic narrative way. 

i like that v clearly has their own personality that you kinda tweak and manipulate through your own actions, like with geralt in the witcher series. however i completely understand if people were lead to believe they’d be getting COMPLETE FREEDOM and are let down by the reality of V being a slightly less mailable character. as someone who likes witcher and the dragon age and mass effect series i’m okay with my oc having a pre-ordained personality but marketing could easily have misled people to believe otherwise and thats a totally valid complaint.

i love jackie to DEATH and hes one of the most likable videogame characters ever. however i do wonder sometimes if he suffers from ‘bilingual people don’t talk like that’ syndrome. it can get kinda muddy given how translators work in this universe.

in the same vein i think some of the calls for the game being transphobic or misogynist are overblown but i feel like part of it is the game might not be properly relaying that the overly sexual, violent, objectifying advertisements in 2077 is actually part of the lore and not CD trying to be cheeky ala Saints Row. Its a crit on consumerism and how desensitized the populace of the future gets to hatred, violence, and sex that it has to be overblown to the point of ludicracy. it might not translate for someone who hasn’t taken the time to look into the lore or familarize themselves with the vibe of the series before picking up the game. YES it is incredibly gritty and dark, but thats the point. However I think that fact needed to be communicated better because it just won’t be palatable for some people. Its stuff like this that makes me think we really need content warnings ALA fanfic for... all media, really. its a good idea. i could see the ‘fuckable piece of meat’ line being genuinely terrifying for some people and it comes out of nowhere. I like dark media and content but i don’t know if the game properly conveys beforehand that this is a BLEAK. world. BLEAK. 

i also think, unfortunately, its clear the team was crunched and ran out of time for a lot of things they wanted to add into the game. i feel like tying gender to v’s voice was the most elegant solution they had considering all of the voicelines in game. not saying it’s the best solution, but i’m glad they did that rather than tie it to body type or genetalia.

that being said i wish you could have a biotic pussy or dick in this game just bc that would be some cool transhumanism. same in general i wish you could replace limbs or eventually get more cyberware options that changed how you look.

I’m glad they’re gonna fix the epilepsy trigger but I’m also surprised and disappointed no one caught that might be a problem earlier on. I wonder what play testing was like.

Also glad the dev team isnt going to be treated like the new vegas team and they’re getting their bonus regardless of the game’s review score. that’s some stupid bullshit but every publisher does that shit unfortunately.

the fact you cant change your makeup, cybernetics, or hair after the start is dumb and i hope they fix that.

the c key being for crouching AND skipping dialogue is inelegant to say the least. you can fix it in settings for skipping dialogue to be ‘hold c’ but it shouldn’t have been an issue in the first place.

ai definitely wasnt finished and it shows. largely in how theres clearly no AI driving and how cops feel half-implimented.

managing stash is CONFUSING. so is the hacking minigame until you get used to it.

it is a LITTLE apparent that you’re going to go into Cutscene Time because characters tell you to sit somewhere specific. However once you’re in those locked scenes the game is still super immersive and beautiful so it’s not too bad.

i don’t understand why youd buy a car when you have one already and a motorcycle but i’ll still probably shop around for funsies

combat definitely feels floaty but ive played bethesda games and nothing can be as bad as those so its fine for me.

i know there’s more but thats what i have so far. I’m having a great time but those are my Thots.

[savnofilter]

answering all anonymous asks

i have a lot of mixed opinions and stuff so i just compiled them into one post. the public ones i will be posting separately, simply because i feel they are different. all responses are under the cut!

tw: mentions of pedophilia and gore.

i am and thank you!! i havent really eaten since tuesday but ive trying to keep my fluids up. i hope you are doing okay as well, anon!

~ i learned about puberty when i was 6 only because my sisters had already learnt it (ages 8). the educational sites used were always catered to helping the youth learn about periods, puberty, and everything that comes along with it. once i was at age 8, i also had access to the sites as well.

~ the idea of sex was brought around to me around 8. at 9 i had an experience but i will not get into it since it’s still slightly traumatic for me. other than having a negative experience with it, i yet again already had an understanding because of my older sister’s and i’s class experiences to have a grasp of it.

i would also like to add that my parent were never prudes. bringing up this point, disclaimer that they havent done anything weird to me or my sister. once i was 11 (in 6th grade), i was learning about sex and reproduction. my mother has always told me if i had any questions about that type of stuff, that i should never be afraid to ask. 

if she felt anything was too explicit she would tell me that i didnt have to learn about that right now and that when i am older she would be receptive responding. i honestly think the hate stems from the fact that they dont get dicked down well enough from their own bfs that they have to write the pent up frustration on minor characters.

i mean with the cult running around, yes it is. if you are not in a close circle or have an established following, you will have a much harder time getting your stuff out there. its not impossible but it is much definitely more difficult to start up. 

if you need help with getting your work out there i am more than welcome in trying to help you out tho!

THANK. YOU. someone had to fucking say it, couldnt be me since they refuse to listen to me. do you know how predatory in itself trying to control what minors of the same age doing together???? the only time i can see minors getting “arrested” unless it was public indecency. also why are you an adult knowing about 14 y.os getting arrested for sexual intercourse? 🤡

it definitely is safe. the people most active are teenagers so do not feel afraid. if there are any concerns please come to me since i am the original and head of the server.

!!! exactly. her sorry ass callout post about my age and followers LOL. “sorry i have more notes than you” i- i had to laugh. i think its so funny because if this was about followers i wouldve done this earlier, not when i hit 5,000 followers. 

^ this. all it took was a gabby hannah callout post about my age cnckjsvd couldnt be me. these people preach about keeping kids safe, the kids of the fandom speak up about an abuse and toxicity problem and suddenly we’re ruining the fandom? pick one or the other pls. 🤡

i just honestly find it concerning that theyre thirsting over a character thats um.... HALF YOUR AGE. fake or not its weird asf. its really not your place to say people shouldnt be uncomfortable because you write them “aged 18+” and the most you age them up to is 18 and still write them in U.A. i dont really understand why its such a hard concept to understand.

i just think its concerning that the same people who think i have no sexual awareness have no problem writing characters my age and the only version that theyre aged up is in their fics.

theres something wrong in this equation here.... 😗

lmao these adults have no problem giving people trauma. and yes, yes, and yes. we arent saying that there is a problem aging them up, its how you do it. its really the fact that theyre aging them up and having them at the dorms and aizawa is still somehow, their homeroom teacher? please make it make sense.

if youre especially going to age up someone and youre about 22+, your excuse is that, “their fake so it shouldnt be a problem” is predatory in all the wrong kind of ways. 

^ they hate to see it. but once again they did make this an age thing,,, obviously they only learned about sex when they hit 18, and i have hacked the system and infiltrated adult territory. 🤡

right. people are like 16 y.os cant have sex -- no its in place so adults like you dont think you can fuck them any younger. thats all i have to say. but no, im fifteen, i dont have a brain or any sense of the world. no h*rny card for me.

💀 imagine being old enough to understand that stuff can be triggering and no human should even be saying that... getting those shane dawson gore fantasies here.

“no one is mad at you for writing smut. adults are mad because youre writing smut”

your adults arent mentally sound and this is why im making this post. ❤️

lmao i am okay!! ive been having phantom nerve pain where my knuckles are because of that ask though and i had a gore dream. : ) i spoke clearly and properly, when i took them as a joke (yknow being the clowns that they are), they got mad! 1/10, would not recommend a conversation! apparently shes more mature about me but her last post was about riding a teenager’s forehead cnjk vdfd COULD NOT BE ME. she choose to ignore all the other claims and it shows~ 🍵

i dont really mind, ive been wanting to talk about my age on this blog for a really long time since last but sometimes things come sooner than later. even if you dont support my work, i still thank you for supporting me as a person!

RIGHT?! im just really concerned that there are adults who understand that there are moral issues here and some dont. this is why im making a post on a select few and not the whole adult community. thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

LMFAO but they dont see it?! 😂 i think me writing about characters my own age is much better than someone who has 10+ years, or better yet, MORE THAN HALF THEIR AGE writing about them. you had your hormones suppressed, doesnt mean mine should as well. 💓

personally, if i was an adult and i made a callout post on someone’s age, i would put a disclaimer to not bully the minors in question,,, just putting out there. your mature and respectful queen is doing magic. 🥰

^ and let me make it clear, after the point of time i realized that following was 18+ blogs was bad, i stopped following them. and even now im sifting through and unfollowing all of them. yes, i do have a brain at fifteen and can think. i know its a foreign concept for some people. 😳

no no no, its okay! i lied about being an adult so this all my fault. :D just think its concerning someone so easily can say one thing and everyone can follow. real cult behaviour and shes the leader. been thinking about making a mean girls poster and sticking her pfp on regina, but even regina had redemption and realized she had work to do. : ) 

lmao these people have said, “i started reading/writing smut when i was 11-13 but i realized how wrong it was and stopped” so how does it differ from me? you dont magically get good at 18. dont be a hypocrite.

even adults themselves are afraid to speak up. all it took was a shitty post for them to ignore the whole story. these people ignore all the abuse, therapy, toxicity, pedophilia (umbrella term) and everything else that she and her friends are being brought to light about. it shows how much of a blind eye that people have.

this is not a tati situation, i will not go back on my words.

this is understandable. this is even past the age, and this me repeating myself once again. i wasnt even the one who said i was groomed i- its people who were in your, space. think about that.

it really is. and what makes it more concerning that the same people who preach this will talk about how they want to, “beat us the fuck up” or rip our fingers for showing out concern for the vagueness of aged up in fics sometimes.

i even stated that its not everyone who does this but no one will listen.

[libra-araelty]

Hello!

My name is Neo. I am a neurodivergent young adult from the United States.

Neurodivergent, you say?

Yes! Neurodivergent means my brain does not function the same way that a typical human does. However that does not stop me from living a normal, everyday life just like everyone else!

I have Asperger’s Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MaDD), and Dyscalculia, all diagnosed. It is also highly suspected that i have Bipolar Disorder and Trichotillomania (TTM), suggested to me by people who have either condition.

Being subject to these conditions, I have quite a few struggles in my daily life. I have sensory issues, so things like uncomfortable clothes and strong scents can make it so I’m unable to function at full capacity. If these sensory issues are pushed further and further, I am at risk of going into a sensory overload or a meltdown. That only happens very rarely for me, though.

My attention span is very flaky, and I have a difficult time staying on one topic for long periods of time. I need constant changing stimuli for me to not burn out while on a task. This ironically contributes to hyperfixation, an intense focus on one particular thing for a period of time. I know, that seems like the opposite of what I said before, but they are linked. See, hyperfixation isn’t exactly something that can be forced. When hyperfocusing, I may not be able to take myself out of that particular focus, and it consumes all my thoughts for however long my brain decides to hyperfixate on it. This contributes to my flaky attention span because instead of being able to force myself to focus on something im supposed to be doing, instead the brain goes “no, you’re going to think about this one thing and we’re going to make it very hard for you to focus on anything BUT this one thing. Special Interests (SI’s) follow a similar, yet more intense pattern. SI’s last much longer, if not lifelong for me. Theyre more prominent and effective on my life than my hyperfixations.

This is where MaDD comes into play. MaDD is a condition that can be adopted and unlearned. The DSM doesn’t recognize it as an official disorder, but it is a condition that exists in many people, especially people with attention or anxiety related contitions. MaDD shares a lot of traits with cases of addiction too, however this one is much easier to take control of and is not exactly harmful. The first word, maladaptive, can be broken in half: Mal and Adaptive. Mal means bad or poor, and adaptive means the ability to adapt. Maladaptive Daydreaming basically means daydreaming that causes poor adaptation skills. MaDDers are typically those who have conditions like Autism, AD(H)D, OCD, General Anxiety, and Dyslexia. Most people adopt the technique of Maladaptive Daydreaming in their childhood or early teens and if not caught early on, can last their entire lives. However, MaDD isn’t essentially a harmful thing. Like I said, it’s easily controlled. You may be asking, “what exactly is it about MaDD that causes poor adaptation? its just daydreaming.” MaDDers daydream at an average of 6 hours minimum a day. These daydreams are intense and easily triggered by everyday things like music, art, friends, even normal emotional events. MaDDers tend to use these dreams as an escape from reality but also a reality of their own, like a lucid dream but for your waking self. The daydreams tend to have intricately woven worlds, stories, chracters, and plots, all feeling just as real to the dreamer as the rest of life itself. MaDDers tend to daydream to escape real situations they may not want to be a part of and sometimes even cancel plans just to continue to daydream.

Why are you telling me all of this? This all seems so personal and insignificant to me.

This is FAR from insignificant to anyone. You may not be Autistic or a MaDDer or even neurodivergent, but I know that as a human being you still have lots of struggles, just like me. Ive told you all about my struggles and you’re probably thinking “wow how pathetic, they cant control their own brain.” Yeah actually, I can. Even if you weren’t thinking that, (which I actually highly doubt anyone was thinking that I just wanted to put an example of worst case scenario) what if I told you that no matter what, no matter who you were or what you were going through, you can still grab hold of yourself and make your life yours? You better believe it, because despite all the conditions I just told you I have, I have taught myself to make my own path in life and not let my struggles decide what my fate is. I believe anything is possible with a little patience and elbow grease, so thats why I have made this blog. It is sorta a combination of a journal, an advice blog, and an inspirational quote blog. I want to be able to share my knowledge of my identity and experiences in order to hopefully inspire someone to get up out of the hole theyre stuck in and make their life their own again! I love the conditions I have, and I use their benefits as my superpowers and dont let the negative aspects of them hold me back. They are a part of me and who I am and I will treat them with just as much love and care as I should treat myself, and hopefully you can treat yourself with the same amount of love too <3

With love,

Neo

P.S.

Heres a couple more fun facts about me!

My biggest special interests are Homestuck, Dragons, and literally just identity in general and have been special to me for almost 5 years now

I love music and my favorite artists are Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy, OneRepublic, Vance Joy, hi i’m Case, Of Monsters and Men, and Watsky!

I love to draw and play D&D! I love the character creation and I’m currently working on my own campaign

My personality labels are Sun Libra, Moon Sagittarius, Rising Taurus, INTP-T, 5w4, 541, Ravenclaw, Thunderbird, Seer of Heart, Dersian, True Neutral, Blue-Green Paladin, Firebender, and Skywing Elf

If I were a D&D character I’d be a true neutral forest gnome sorcerer sage who wields a katana and raises dragons

My favorite movies are How To Train Your Dragon (1&2), It, Star Wars, and Pete’s Dragon (2016). My favorite shows are The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, The Dragon Prince, Camp Camp, Gravity Falls, Twelve Forever and The Mandalorian

I love making aesthetics and stimboards, my favorite colors are blue violet, cornflower, sapphire, teal, spring green, and bubblegum pink. I love pastel kawaii fashion because of these colors

I either want to become a cartoonist or a counselor as a career, or both and be able to use one to help the other

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist 

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached 

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid 

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to 

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable 

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes 

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose 

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around 

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch 

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym 

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man 

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too 

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_; 

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier 

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory 

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon 

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good! 

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies? 

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard 

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general 

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form 

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting 

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business 

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely 

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden 

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well 

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny 

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY 

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma 

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it 

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude. 

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins! 

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

[knoxhq]

► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄

hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!

also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell

basics. 

full name: knox hale drury.

nicknames: drury.

age: twenty two.

gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: political science.

housing: moriarty.

backstory.

triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).

nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.

it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about. 

no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance. 

knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.

that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could. 

he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.

and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.

the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by. 

it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car. 

he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point. 

for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.

study.

so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK

like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.

he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side

that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.

regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them. 

bt like again he’s baby

like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig

if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ 

he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm 

wanted connections.

friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.

best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty

frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!

enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.

flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10

exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )

roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk

other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)

[aresfms]

「 harry styles. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 ARES BYERS 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 FINANCE 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 DECEMBER 2018 」and seems to be the 「 THE RECUSANT」of the group.「 ARES 」is a「 SENIOR 」 and seems to enjoy 「 BOXING AND SOCCER 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

listen don’t say i didn’t warn you, this is a lil long. but if you guys are interested in any connections ( scroll down to the end for some ideas ) then pls hit me up. im so ready.

okay basically i’ll do a summary in case y’all dont wanna read his SAD story. tw: domestic abuse, abandonment, alcohol abuse. 

Summary: ARES BYERS, 23, SENIOR.

A finance major at LexU.

He’s currently doing both soccer and boxing, but soccer would be for his athletic scholarship. ( he has a full ride )

Boxing would definitely be like more of an anger relief thing and honestly, he defs loves soccer but he knows he can’t rely on that for a forever thing. plus he defs things boxing is good money, yknow that side hustle illegal shit

Loves art like a lot.

 He visits his siblings probably every other day or whenever he can because he really is so protective of them or he’d even bring them to campus all the time even though his “ step dad” hates it.

His relationship with his mum is still super strained because she really is in denial about her toxic abusive situation with his “step dad”  and hes trying to tell her hes going to get her out and she just does not want to.

His mum is an alcoholic and his stepdad is physically abusive to them like most of her past partners which is something ares has been dealing with since he was a child.

hes solely doing finance to get a good job to get his mum and siblings out of the situation theyre in now.

he wants sole custody of his 3 siblings but i mean, he needs a stable job and place to live aka finance

 has 3 younger sisters who he adores.

HISTORY STUFF ( YIKES SOZ ) Its long everybody.

 He was born to teenage parents who hadn’t even graduated high school yet. They had a pretty tumultuous situation and his dad really didn’t think they should have a kid, but his mum thought that it would bring them closer together and make his dad mature…. Which definitely didn’t end up happening.

once Ares was born his dad stuck around for about a year or two before basically abandoning them and offering to give up parental rights to his mum Alycia.

That’s when things basically just went downhill. It really messed with his mum, obviously she was supporting ares on her own with no support from anyone, no family and very little money, at the time she had been trying to go to school but had to give that up once she was the sole provider for Ares. And the fact that someone she thought was going to be her partner abandoned her just led her down a pretty dark path.

It was just his mum and him after this. There wasn’t a lot of stability for them. His mum for a while was the only family he had. his grandma wasn’t really very supportive of his mum having the baby and living with his dad etc and they’re relationship was quite strained too.

• By the time Ares was about 12 he was already probably mature beyond his years, his mum by then had basically gave herself up to alcohol and had some pretty bad shady boyfriends in the house. Ares would definitely still vividly remember like explosive fights between her and boyfriends where things got physical between them and even to Ares from multiple different boyfriends.

His schooling was just.. a mess he definitely repeated a grade or two because of the commotion of home life.

Regardless though he was still VERY protective of his mum even if he felt pretty abandoned by her, he was just confused why she was letting these people come around when they were better on just the two of them. But that really didn’t last long, his mum ended up having multiple other kids with different people.

 So he has Maeva, Orion and Lea who are his half siblings and theyre all under 12.

I  think he definitely grew up faster than most because he always felt an urge to protect his mum and his siblings now especially. he worried about them all. He was definitely an anxious kid.

• His mum ended up marrying but honestly Ares couldn’t hate his stepfather more. He would refuse and still does refuse to call him dad or stepdad because he truly thinks he’s a piece of shit. Like he knows he treats his mum like shit and hes had no problem being physical with the both of them and once ares got old enough he really did start fighting back which only made it worse.

There’s probably been multiple times where its been ares calling the police on him after he fought with his mum but as usual his mum always takes his side which honestly fucked ares up constantly but eventually as soon as he could he was working even at like 13/14 because he was desperate to save money thinking he could help his family get out of the fucking mess they were in.

 His number one priority is and will always be his mum and his sisters even though deep down I think he has some kind of resentment towards his mum he’ll always love her. He just wishes that she would take his side especially against his “ step dad”

Basically though once he was about that age he realised he really needed to start focusing on school, grades and sport anything he could so he had some kind of chance to get into a good uni and get his family out of everything. Like he knew he’d need somewhere he could get a full ride since theyd never be able to afford it and somewhere still nearby so he could look after his sisters still.

 His stepdad knew though that ares was working even when he wasn’t supposed to be and he really took advantage of that, he was definitely beyond lazy and ares basically always felt more of a parent to his sister than anyone else.

 So basically he ended up graduating – late however he was 19 when he graduated high school because of repeats and luckily enough he got a full ride to Lexington university and he really took it within a heartbeat. He ended up choosing finance not because its anything he’s interested in but because he wanted something that would pay really well so he can support his family, but he knew he didn’t have 8 years to do medical school etc.

Personality:

 he can have a shitty attitude won’t lie, like he’s very focused and set on what he wants and needs to do and he wants no one getting in the way of that.

He’s super into boxing to release a lot of the pent up anger he obviously feels and really because he wanted to know how to fight back all the assholes his mum had in his life.

He is can be extroverted and talkative but I think with the people who aren’t close to him or to people he doesn’t have a real trust in it’s probably a pretty surface level. Its never about his family or past in fact I think that part would be something very few if any people know about.

his sisters aka his pride and joy, he probs has pictures of them in his wallet.

He likes to keep things light hearted as a distraction from himself but he definitely doesn’t let people in easily.

He really tries to avoid confrontation because it’s so triggering to him but he does have a temper which is what scares him. He is like paranoid he’s going to become a product of his environment so he goes against that as much as he can but if people come for his family or anything he would lose it.

Can be aloof.

 Has a hard time trusting anyone has good motives or will stick around because of much he’s been abandoned and how manipulative the people in his mums were.

He’s cynical.

 He really holds onto grudges pretty easily.

His ass is pretty sarcastic and witty, a huge smart ass.

 He’s not into commitment right now or he’s avoiding. Like the only examples he’s ever seen of relationships have been a mess and it’s not exactly his priority. ( but lbr  whats the fun in that. )

 He tries to abstain from alcohol but he finds that pretty hard. When he does he tends to drink pretty heavily which is why he tries not to because he knows it obviously has caused his mum so much grief.

 Hes an escapist.

 He’s really super protective though, of the people he does have in his life I think he really wants to give those people the things he didn’t have so he overcompensates and would literally fight whatever or whoever for the people around him.

he hates authority.

•He definitely is really big into art but that’s also something really personal he doesn’t share much and he knows like that isn’t going to provide for his family which is exactly why he's done finance.

Connections:

MY FAVE PART!!!

Long lost half sibling aka the child his dad had after he abandoned him

Someone who is a super good influence on his sisters ( id die for this.. )

Strangers who found out they were hooking up with the same person then became friends or enemies. ( my man a nastie sometimes. )

A FWB someone he can mess with and end up talk a little deeply with bc they think its not serious.

ANYONE who is a kid of one of his mums exes, like someone she dated, bc whew why not.

a rebound, someone he used to try to get over his ex!!

a fucking roomie plssss :) ( or past roomie, he lived off campus for 3 years so defs room for multiples ) this person rlly saw... everything

someone who went on a couple dates/ messed around but then realised omg we’d be so much better off as friends, somoene who rlly has each others back.

ooo someone who has an unrequited crush on him

Or someone he hates but yknow someone who he has mad sexual tension with ( hate meaning they lowkey would ravage each other )

One of his close confidants, someone who is basically one of the few people he can confide in.

An “ex “ who he broke up without much explanation.

His dealer ( smh im the worst )

Some co workers that has his back.

Potentially someone he’s fought against esp someone who does boxing too. es

Someone on his soccer team.

he very into art, so potentially someone who he might connect or do that with, he defs shows stuff sometimes but VVVV rarely.

someone he maybe wasnt that close w/ but he knows from back home so they’d suspect about his home life and he just is not having the prying :)

Honestly any connections im down. THE USUAL, bestfriends, etc etc

[princessselene126]

Hey yall, emotional abuse, physical pain (not self harm, just illness pain), brief mention of periods, and shitty parents tws coming up.

So i generally try to keep my personal life off here unless I won’t be posting for a while and want to let you know why (like i did with my ear infection.), but I’m having a really bad week and a half and desperately need to vent. Feel free to completely ignore this because I don’t expect anyone to respond, I just need to get everything off my chest--although any suggestions as to what the fuck I should do are more than welcome.

My dad and stepmom have been controlling any emotionally abusive for pretty much my entire life--because you know, abuse doesn’t just start randomly and it’s not something that you can easily fix.

Anyway. When I went home for my ear infection, my stepmom got kinda mad about it. Mad might be the wrong word, controlling is probably better. I didnt tell her or my dad that I was coming home to see the doctor for a few reasons:

I knew if I told them, they’d tell me i should tough it out and go to class

They’d say that i was being over dramatic and that it couldn’t possible hurt that bad

They’d ask why I couldn’t have seen a doctor in Milwaukee (where my college is and 1.5 hours from home), why I needed to come home for something like that.

So I didn’t tell them. While I was home my stepmom texted me asking how I was doing. At the time she didn’t know I had an ear infection or that I was home, so of course like the idiot I am, I was honest and told her I came home sunday night. Seriously I think honesty is my fatal flaw. She, of course, asked why and I told her that “I cant think right now, let alone take a bus somewhere I’ve never been before. I tried to get into the dr at school, but they dont have any openings until wednesday.” I was able to get into my doctor at home on monday, two full days before I would have been able too at school, so it seems logical that id go home right? I couldnt hear out of my right ear anyway, so it’s not like I would have been able to pay attention in class and actually learn anything. 

She drops it or that day.

But my stepmom, being my stepmom, of course texts me back a few days later (fthursday or friday i think) because she thinks that I should have tried harder to find a doctor here. She said, and I fucking quote this entire goddamn text 

Hey so I just want to clarify with you ... you could have gone to a dr there you know? You guys didn’t have to come all the way home and back. good lord. Just find a clinic thats an urgent care or er. you might have had to pay more out of pocket, but so what? And you have 2 insuraces, so that wouldve helped more too. Just saying. So I thought I’d let you know instead of doing all that craziness back and forth. Make it easier on yourself next time kiddo.

And this has me fucking livid because:

I literally explained to her why I didn’t find someone in Milwaukee days before. 

She’s insinuating that it’s too inconvenient for my mom to come get me.

And my stepdad had off on tuesday, so he gladly took me back too school. No questions asked. No complaints. He even bought my antibiotics for me (which I was totally prepared to pay the $10 for myself) before we left.

She’s talking down to me as if I had no idea that I could do this.

I can’t afford to pay more out of pocket right now, even if I might (read: MIGHT) get reimbursed for it later.

Going home literally WAS making it easier on myself.

So I send a screenshot of this text to my mom of course, and she replies almost immediately just going off. My mom and I havent always had the best relationship (she has some emotionally abusive habits too, but she knows about most of them, acknowledges them, and tries her best to fix them), but I know that she will always be there for me. She’s that person who will drive an hour and a half just to come make sure someone is okay, and she has done so 2-3 times in my 2 years at college. She doesn’t care if I’m 45 and living on the other side of the country, she will drive or by a plane ticket to hep me if/when need it. So my mom is beyond pissed off that my stepmom would ever imply that coming to get me, take care of me, is an inconvenience.

I reply a simple “i know” to my stepmom, because I know better than to give her a long winded explanation. She’ll just come back at me with an even longer block of text basically telling me how wrong/stupid i was to not just see a dr in the area.

And of course, of fucking course, she replies with a long block of text anyway basically telling me the same fucking thing. She does this several times and I keep doing the “i know” “yeah” “okay” thing because I just didn’t have the fucking ENERGY you guys. 

But then she says 

my goodness you’re a peach sometimes. Just trying to help and maybe you guys didn’t think of that. 

So by this point in time my patience was completely GONE. I have absolutely none left. I know when my stepmom calls me a peach it’s just her “nice” way of saying “you’re being a fucking bitch.” ((Keep in mind this entire time I was taking screenshots and sending them to my mom so she could be mad with me.)) And so I fucking went off in the nicest way possible. I tell her

no, you’re trying to be in control of the situation that had absolutely nothing to do with you

I was going to just try going to a dr the next morning, but then my mom called and I was crying and she asked if I wanted to come home, so I said yes. It wasn’t an inconvenience to her, though it feels like you’re trying to make it seem that way. And [stepdad] had off so he was easily able to take me back.

I’m not an idiot, im an adult fully capable of doing things myself. But i also recognized that I needed help and accepted it when my mom noticed I did as well

Because yes. I was in so much pain that I was actually crying from it. I usually have a decent pain tolerance (horrific period cramps will do that to a person), but for some reason whenever I say that I’m genuinely in pain my stepmom never seems to think it could be “that bad.” And... that’s exactly how that went. I was soooo prepared to just tough it out and wait until Wednesday if I absolutely had to. But then my mom called and I may be 20 years old but there are those times when you’re an adult and you just need your parent. You need your parent to tell you it’s going to be okay. You need your parent to hold and comfort you. You need your parent to take you to the dr. And for me this was one of those times. I so very rarely ask for help but this time i needed it, and there’s no reason for my stepmom (or anyone) to make me feel like I should be ashamed of that.

So she said something brief to that and I didn’t reply back. Ne next moring she sends me another text starting off with something along the lines of “I’m hurt by how you treated me last night...” and I didn’t read the rest because I knew it would make me mad. I did, however send a screenshot to my mom again.

The next day I call both my mom and my paternal grandma to talk about this entire conversation.

My mom thinks that I should cut off ties with them for at least a few months because this has been overwhelming me so much. I agree with her, but I’m concerned about my younger siblings (not that they’ll get hurt or anything, but that I won’t be able to see them) and also my aunt is getting married in may.

And my grandma was livid too. She’s never liked my stepmom because she’s always thought that she’s treated me like shit. (For a long time i mistakenly believed that my stepmom was a better person than my mom, but I was an impressionable child/teenager then). My grandma and I talked about times when stepmom made me feel bad about myself or treated me as lesser than my half siblings. And my grandma agrees that I should keep my distance, but she asked me to not cut ties, and to keep a decent amount of peace, until after my aunt’s wedding.

Which I understand. I get it. I love my aunt a lot and I truly dont want to cause any problems at her wedding, she deserves the world. But at the same time I don’t know how much longer I can take this you guys. I’m supposed to go to a water park for a night with my dad, stepmom, and siblings during my spring break (it was a christmas present from my dad to the family) and I’m absolutely dreading it. I don’t want to go. My mom says I should just lie and say I have to work, but again, fatal flaw here is honesty, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that. I want to see my siblings too, but I really need to start taking care of myself.

I’ve spent far too long worrying about my family even after not living at home for the last two years. I need to take care of myself. I do. But I honestly don’t know how to do that without causing a family feud in the process.

And the reason this was all triggered again today (after not having talked to anyone on my dad’s side since saturday) is because I got a call from a random number while I was in class today. It was a call from my home city and whoever it was left a voicemail. In the back of my mind I started worrying that it was my dad and that he wanted to talk me into not being upset with my stepmom (he’s a terrible person too but that’s a rant for a different day).

I have yet to listen to it because the idea of talking about this with him makes me nauseous. At the same time, not knowing who called is making me overwhelmingly anxious. I don’t know what would be best:

Ignoring the voicemail, or listening to it and potentially having to talk to my dad?

Toughing out being around my family until after the wedding, or risk causing a family feud by cutting ties?

I just... I’m so lost you guys.

[bobowhooo]

Potent Savages

Genre : Smut/ Fluffy?/ Trigger warningsss?

Exo, OC, And blackpink gang au!

Summary : The savages leave for a trip to the bahamas, but when a few “clients” decide to ruin their leisure, aya decides to have some real fun.

   A potent savages short.

Red, white, blues in the sky, and baby heavens in your eyes.

 (Psst for all the people that miss suho why dont we take this one back to when he was here *wink*)

I rolled over in the silk sheets baekhyun demanded to be in his villa when we checked in. He’s a diva that way. The sunlight peeked just a bit through the curtains in the bedroom of this place. A groan came from my chest and i turned in my spot on the king bed, again, only to see baekhyun’s sleeping face. He looked like a peaceful puppy. Sometimes it’s hard to think that he is the way he is. Looks can really be deceiving.  

Let’s backtrack. Just a week ago, me, and the girls suggested to exo that we take a vacation after all the hard work. Because even we need a break sometimes. At first, suho was going to say no but with the help of jisoo we got him to a yes. We were on a jet to the bahamas not too long after, and arrived two days ago, enjoying ourselves in the beautiful sun and the sparkly sea. i have to say, if i knew that all i had to do to get such bliss was kill siwon, i would have done it a longgg time ago.

“Stop staring creep.” Baekhyun rumbled with his sleepy voice and closed eyes.

“Make me.” I said now getting even closer to his face and widening my eyes to emphasize the fact that I'm staring. But to be honest, how could i not. He looked so beautiful, i couldn’t help it.

He put his palm over my face and a giggle erupted from my lips into is hand. I grabbed his wrist and pulled it until i could clearly see my mans face again. “Your fingers smell like me.” I spoke with a smirk on my face, thinking of the amazing events from last nights uhmm escapade. The pretty boy laughed and began to try and stick his fingers in my mouth. “Of course they do.” He said with a tired grin. I screamed while resisting his pretty hands. “Don’t you dare baekhyun!” I yelled with laughter.

“What!? You don’t want to taste yourself? I promise you taste fucking amazing.” He giggled, now climbing on top of me with his long but delicate fingers in my face.

“Cut it out, i will fuck you up baekhyun!”

“I’ll fuck you down.”

A burst of laughter came out of me because of his stupid comment and i covered my face with my hands. Baekhyun chuckled but his eyes stayed locked on me, as i peeked at him through the cracks my fingers made. He dipped his head down until his forehead was pressed up against mine. “I love hearing you laugh. It’s like all my worries go away.” Baekhyun whispered to me, his voice like honey. I bet he thought if he said it any louder his heart would show too much. 

“I love when you make me laugh. It’s like all you want is to see me smile, and then you’ll be able to smile too.”

“That is all i want.”

I moved my hands from my face and stared into his eyes before i felt his finger slip past my chin and into my mouth. “Baekhyun!” I yelled with a mouth full of index finger. “Tell me you don’t taste like honey.” Baekhyun chuckled into my ear pushing his finger deeper in my mouth. The door to our room in the villa opened roughly, and baekhyun whipped his head towards the door while hitting my in the face a bit with his messy brown hair. I moved to see suho standing in the doorway with a disappointed look as he stared at baekhyun’s finger hanging out of my half-opened mouth.

“Sorry to interrupt your finger licking moment, but you two need to get your asses to the table outside. Or i’ll get the hose on you again.” Suho gave one more look of disappointment before he slipped out of the room and closed the door with his disappearance. I rushed to get baekhyun’s finger out of my mouth before pushing him off of my torso and rolled out of the bed with a bubbly giggle erupting from my chest. “Noo, stayy and lemme put my finger back in your mouthh.” Baekhyun whined in protest of my escape as he pressed his soft cheek against the silk-clad pillow.

“Shut up.” I said while smiling brightly at the man i adore.

Baekhyun and i made it to the area everyone was having their breakfast at with a slight delay, and by that i mean baekhyun fell asleep on top of me for 15 minutes after getting me to come back to bed. They all sat prettily at a big dark wood table with matching chairs as a beautiful american style breakfast was spread neatly around the table. Everything being lit perfectly by the bright sun, as the clear crisp air woke me up better than a coffee ever could. 

Lisa passed me waffles and baekhyun stole my orange juice as suho began to go on a tangent about something i don’t care about. I should listen more. I watched suho’s lips move as i slid my hand on baekhyun’s lap. Baekhyun looked at me with a grin as he downed the rest of my juice and sat down my cup cutely.

“Baekhyun, and aya. I want you two to take care of it.”

“Take care of what?” I said in complete confusion.

Suho looked at me with squinted eyes, finally realizing i wasn’t listening. “The scana group is here and they’re finally willing to do business with us. I would like you two to take care of it.”

“Whaaat? Why usss!? We’re on vacation! Tell them to suck our dicks and wait.” I whined while leaning forward, piercing my eyes into suho.

“Listen, we need this. We infiltrate the scana group, we get the power we need to rule that dump of a city. You two are as good as it gets when it comes to getting people on our side. Especially since we’re not in a business setting.” Suho explained to us all. I deadpanned and leaned my back into my chair, ready to complain and refuse more.

“I can handle it hyung. I know how these types of Business while on vacation meetings go, and i would rather aya not be there.” Baekhyun said while stuffing a waffle in his mouth. I scoffed.”I know how they go too, baekhyun, that’s why you need me there.” 

“No. End of discussion. Anything else hyung?”

“Hey, you can’t do that! He can’t do that, right!?” I said with a pout taking over my mouth. Who does he think he is? Telling me what to do. He ignored me and continued to listen to suho as he talked about more stuff i wasn’t listening too. I was too busy scowling at my boyfriend to pay attention. So what i got kidnapped once, or twice. That doesn’t mean it will ever happen again or something. And it doesn’t mean im not the best at what i do. He needs me. Period.

I watched baekhyun’s back flex as he slipped on his silk silvery white shirt with black writing. I have to say, silk suits him almost too well. I smiled as he put his lean arms through a navy blue satin crepe flowy button down over dark jeans. He looked towards the mirror at himself before locking eyes with me. I stared at him with a stupid grin on my face. “You know I'm going with you, right?” I said, now raising my eyebrows in question. He shook his head and continued getting ready for his business meeting as if i didn’t say what i did. Then again, it probably wasn’t very convincing, if i was going i would be dressed by now. Not ogling at him through the mirror. I huffed and threw myself down on the bed. Of course, there’s no way I'm letting him go by himself, but it’s the fact that he thinks i should stay that's driving me crazy. Does he think i can’t handle a few stupid businessmen? 

“Baby, have you seen my- why are you looking at me like that?” Baekhyun looked at my expression in hesitation. I probably looked like a kicked puppy. I guess i feel like he thinks I'm some fragile little girl. I don’t like that feeling at all. “Baekhyun, do you know who i am?” I asked with puffed cheeks.

He sighed and nodded his head. “I know what you’re about to say. It’s not that i don’t think you can handle it. It’s that i don’t want you to have to. You’re on vacation baby, lay low.” He said with an adoring smile. His fingers delicately placed a silver chain like necklace on his soft exposed chest. Pretty silver rings adorned his slender fingers as he fixed up his hair in the mirror after he turned away from my speechless face. I guess i couldn’t say anything to that. It makes sense. Fuck sense though, I want to go! I know it’s only been three days but i already miss fucking people up, the excitement of my job is an addiction i can’t kick easily. What if they all pull guns on him, it’ll be pure luck if he gets out of that all by himself. And maybe I'm just making up excuses, but if I'm being honest with myself i made up my mind an hour ago.

Im going.

“So as you can see, business with us would be in your best interest.” I spoke to them in a relaxed manner. I'm not here to impress them, at all. I'm here to show them that they need us, that’s it. I licked my lips as i watched the ladies walk around the table and place sushi and more alcohol in front of us. “Thank you.” I said lightly as one of the girls leaned on my shoulder and placed food in front of me. 

“Yes, well, i am glad that we finally made time for each other. It’s unfortunate that it has to be on times of leisure.” The head of the group spoke with elegance. I looked at him with daggers, he’s such a snake and you can tell just by how he speaks. Oh well, this will be over soon, if i do it right. 

“The real question is, where is the entertainment?” The man sitting next to the head spoke with enthusiasm. I grinned fakely. “What did you have in mind?” I asked, not really giving a shit about what he wanted. “I don’t know....table dancers maybe?” I snorted at his request like question. With all the strippers they have for servers, you would have thought there would be an option for that already. “Well, I’ll see what i can do, but no promises.” I said with a sly grin. They most likely expect me to scramble to get what they want, showing just how much i want their business. But what’s really going to happen is, I'm going to play candy crush while acting like I'm shooting off texts, and then say all my connections are busy following other orders i gave them before this popup meeting. Thus, showing just how busy me and my people really are, and how they are not and will not be my first priority. This also shows off my own power. I know the game too well because i learned from the best.

“Someone said table dancers?” A sweet voice called out. I looked up towards the door and was met with a pair of stunning legs. Aya. Her beautiful body was hugged perfectly by a silk dark red mini dress as she strutted her way to the table. She slipped her cute hands over the shoulders of the man sitting across from me and whispered something in his ear as i almost audibly scoffed at her actions. The man got up without hesitation before she put her hand on his shoulder and slipped into his seat with ease. “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m aya, baekhyun’s partner.”  

“Ahh, i was just starting to wonder what the much talked about aya is like.” The head said while eyeing her like she’s a slab of juicy meat. I looked at her with a warning sign on my face as i leaned my elbows on the table. She smirked at me and picked up a glass of whatever the hell that is, sipping it without hesitation. I narrowed my eyes and frowned my lips at her.

“We’re not doing this, aya. take your ass back to the villa.” 

“That’s not happening, baekhyun.” She smiled with her lips closed and stretched out, small dimples peeking through her supple cheeks. She looks too gorgeous to be here of all places. She should have gone with the rest and got some relaxation. Why is she like this?

“Come on, baekhyun. Let me have my fun.” She asked silently.

I looked at her pleading eyes and realized that this was actually where she wanted to be. I sighed looking away before looking at her again. “Fine, go ahead. I’ll let you do what you want.” 

The moment she got the message her eyes lit up like fire. She’s definitely one of a kind. For a good 20 minutes, she talked up the businessmen like i never could. She wore a beautiful smile the whole time and made jokes with everyone as if she was one of them. I only chimed in when business was spoken of, which wasn’t that often. She shined so brightly as she got them to be more comfortable. The last thing we do is get them to say or do something that we can hold over their heads, putting us in power. Which will be almost too easy now. 

“Why don’t you give us a show.” One of the men said loudly into all of the laughter. I cocked one eyebrow at him about to put that thought to bed before aya spoke up on it. “That sounds amazing!” She said with a bright smile as she downed the rest of her expensive champagne. I watched her grab someone’s shoulder and kick off her shoes before climbing up on her chair and onto the table. I couldn’t help but smile a bit at how much fun she’s having in this type of setting. But bored is for the boring, am i right? She danced around gracefully to the faint music that played in the high-end restaurant. She twirled around the table like a rose as all the men cheered her on. I gave her a look when she locked eyes with me and held my hand out. “Alright, that’s enough.” I said as she jumped down from the table into the security of my arms.

She made a face at me before rolling her eyes, obviously slightly tipsy. “Awww, don’t be a party pooper, baekhyun.” The guy next to the head of the group spoke to me as if that was going to make me change my mind. “No, no. I think he’s right. We’ve played enough. I think it would be a much better show if we watched her get undressed.” The head of the group said with his lips on his champagne glass. “What?” I slipped my hand towards my gun before aya grabbed my hand and laughed loudly. “He meansss, he wants to do it first. Let’s be honest, what’s fun about a wrapped present when you’re impatient?” She smiled at everyone as they related to her words like idiots. I guess their biggest weakness is their sexual desires. Good to know. 

Aya placed her hands on my shoulders and leaned into my ear slowly. “I'm not undressing you in front of these dickheads.” I said while sliding my hands up and down her hips. “You don’t have to, just trust me.” She said before crashing her lips into mine. I was surprised before relaxing into her touch and latching onto her. I hugged her into my arms as i walked forward and pushed her ass into the table. My tongue exploring every part of her mouth it can reach. She moaned into me before tugging my shirt, silently telling me to put her on the table in front of everyone. I detached my lips from hers and cleared an aya sized space on the table without any hesitation. I don’t care if anything broke, all i want is to give her what she’s begging for right now. I picked her up by her plump thighs and sat her down on the table. She laid down slowly spreading out on the table in front of me, in front of everyone. 

She gave me a naughty smile, then a pout. “What are you holding back for, baekhyun? Are you shy?”

“You wish.”

“That would be adorable. But right now, i think i deserve that painful kind of pleasure you’re so good at.” I bit my lip at her dirty words. The way she’s looking at me as if I'm the only person in the room is driving me insane. I grabbed her wrists and roughly put them above her head, making her gasp from the suddenness. “God, you’re so handsome.” She whispered into my mouth. “Take all of me, baekhyun.”

I leaned down to kiss her more but she moved her head so that my lips met with her neck as her wrists were in my tight grip. “Right now, all of these so-called businessmen have their dicks whipped out hoping to watch me get fucked. I have the servers taking pictures of every single one of them. On three you pull out your gun out with me, and then we can finally go home and fuck like rabbits.” Aya whispered seductively in my ear.

I sucked more on her skin while moving my hands to my pants, making it seem like i was going to take them off. 

One. 

Two.

Three.

I smirked when my hand touched my glock. 

Thank you for your business.

AUTHORS NOTE : Haiii! im sooo glad that i made this because you guys are <spoiler> not going to see them be so cute with eachother in the real next few chapters. I hope you all liked it! And if you guys want another short potent savages about anything you can always ask :)

Kisses? <<<3333 lailaa ~~~

[ghoststrawberries]

im just out here making the hollow knight characters human and also slam dunking them into a bnha au for no reason other than so i can give them quirks dont mind me im bein self indulgent tonight n havn a good time thinking about this. this definitely isnt all the Hollow Knight characters, just a few, but i might add more to this post some other time!

---

the Knight, also known as Ghost - quirk: Void. they can manipulate shadows and a dark unknown energy to both attack and defend. their quirk most often manifests as tendrils that fan out from their body and whip at friend and foe alike. They have tiny antler-like horns, and their eyes appear to be wide, black, empty sockets, peering into a dark space in their head. They often wear a simple mask to cover their empty eyes. It is unknown if that black emptiness is a part of their quirk or not, but that plus the fact that they don’t ever speak and don’t often show emotion gives them the unsettling effect of seeming to be hollow.  People who know them well though know how expressive they can be. They’re in Gen Ed and no one can get an answer out of them as to why they didn’t want to be in the Hero course. 

Hornet - quirk: Silk. She can spin threads of silk from herself. it comes from her wrists and is extremely strong, strong enough for her to swing or pull herself along on it or use it as a weapon. She has a lot of extra tools that she’s built for herself to help her utilize her quirk better, like her Needle and some other deadly gadgets, that she attaches her Silk to in order to throw and wield them with lethal precision. The downside to her quirk is that she can’t create too much silk at once or else it exhausts her/gets “jammed” and she can’t use it for awhile. She’s in the Hero course, and her hero name is Weaver. She’s the older half-sister to the Knight but doesn’t share their odd hollow appearance, with her eyes and face being normal, but she does also have horns. hers are smooth and curved though. 

the Hollow Knight - quirkless? They’re the older sibling to Hornet and the Knight, but no one really ever sees them. People who have seen them though describe them as massive. a hulking form that, despite it’s size, seems to curve inwards on itself to try and make itself smaller. Rumor has it that they used to have a quirk, but something terrible happened that caused them to “lose their quirk” and isolate themselves in their home out of trauma. they hate and are triggered by bright lights and extremely sharp things, and only ever talk/interact with Ghost or Hornet. they have horns as well, theirs being the largest of the three of them, and like Ghost they have a hollow-like appearance to their eyes which is only emphasized by the odd crack that stretches from their left horn through their left “eye.” They don’t wear a mask to cover their eyes like Ghost does, they don’t even seem to really care...

the Pale King - quirk: idk how to name this but like. everyone in his vicinity gains a boost in intelligence, but also they find themselves drawn to him and easily manipulated by him. its like a field of influence he is able to exert over the people around him at all times that makes it easy for him to not so much mind control others but... suggest things to them. people follow him and stay around because they enjoy the boost in intelligence, without knowing that he’s stringing them along like puppets all the while. he was a “Hero” with a large kingdom-like domain over his own hero agency and the small city that surrounded it, praised for bringing peace to what was once a very crime ridden and tumultuous area, but he was doing some secret dark dealings in villain activity and illegal quirk sciences on the side. He disappears mysteriously one day and it is unknown whether he was killed or fled from the consequences of his actions.

Quirrel - quirk: Perfect Memory. he’s perfectly able to recall any fact or piece of information he’s ever learned/been told. especially useful as he’s the apprentice to the great scholar Monomon. Yet, after Monomon became involved in a deal with the Pale King, Quirrel found himself suffering from amnesia, and completely displaced from the city the Pale King “ruled” and where Monomon’s Archives were. For now, as he works to piece together what happened to his quirk and his memory, he is a substitute teacher who can substitute for both history classes and combat classes. He still has a mask with him, but is it Monomon’s? or someone else’s. After all, why would Monomon need a mask if she wasn’t a hero...

White Lady - quirk: a secret. The wife of the Pale King, she keeps the true nature of her quirk a secret after some terrible deed that she used her quirk to help with and now feels regret over. Many have speculated as to if it is connected to her tree-like appearance or not. Her hair and legs are pale and seem almost root-like, and it’s very hard for her to move around without a mobility aid like a wheelchair. She loves nature, and has her own personal gardens in the city that the Pale King “rules” that are almost always flourishing. Ever since the Pale King disappeared though, she hasn’t gone to her gardens, and has in fact locked herself away in the rooms that were hers in the giant house she and the Pale King lived in. Only her personal guard and best friend, Dryya, is trusted with her care. 

[rorypcarson]

it’s hope??? again??? yes u read that right here’s my son rory love us this blog is so new so nothing will be in the tags i hate everything lmao anyway like this or message me to plot ily bye

triggers: car crash, drunk driving, stroke, abortion, death, depression ( mention )

╰☆╮ DACRE MONTGOMERY ─ RORY PEARSON identifies as CISMALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a YOUTUBER/MUSICIAN, and they’re only TWENTY-TWO ! they’re said to be +CANDID, but also -DESPONDENT. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE ACCIDENTAL BILLIONAIRE in the tabloids. ( kendall schmidt, logan henderson )

did i use two btr bois as his vc??? u bet ur ass i did & i have no regrets ok anyway on to my son 

background: 

rory pearson was born and raised in fairhope, alabama.  his parents were teenagers when they had him and lived with his grandma scarlett.  his mom jean marie was ousted by her parents when she told them she was pregnant and his dad’s mom took her in with open arms.  

of course his grandma wasn’t going to let them live in the same room in her house without being married, especially with her grandbaby on the way.  so after talking with them, and his parents agreeing, they went to the courthouse and got married three months before rory came into the world.  

rory was born on april 20th, 1996 and he was without a name for six days.  his parents couldn’t decide so they named him rory wyatt vincent pearson.  he was always told that since his parents couldn’t decide on naming him after jean marie’s grandfather or greyson’s father, they picked a third name and gave him both of their names for middle names.  

when rory was two and a half years old ( not really half, it was june ?? ) his parents graduated high school and went out for a party.  unfortunately their designated driver wasn’t so sober and the group of four recent graduates crashed into another car.  

his father was in the passenger’s seat and died on impact, his mother was pronounced dead in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.  

scarlett legally adopted rory after that and raised him.  she always told him stories of his parents, but avoided telling him anything about what happened to them for as long as she could.  

he was ten years old when he saw the memorial and recognized his parents from their yearbook photos and came home asking about it.  

honestly this is jumping ahead a bit but rory didn’t learn to drive until he was twenty years old.  and even now, esp now, since he lives in nyc he doesn’t drive often. 

okay when he was seventeen years old he met bethany in an airport.  he was on his way to a college interview on a connecting flight that got cancelled due to weather conditions.  they were both sitting in the same terminal so they got to talking and !!! hit it off

bro legit asked her out 5 seconds after their flights were announced to be back on

“hi yeah we just met but we’ve got two hours before your flight leaves so wanna go grab some food with me???” 

and the rest was legit history

he can remember every moment of their conversation and first date like it was yesterday. oh my god he was SO IN LOVE 

the human embodiment of the hearteyes emoji

and so the pair stayed in touch and went on a couple more dates and the boy was so gd smitten that grandma scarlett took his phone during one of their phone calls and was like “darlin if you don’t fly down here to meet me i’m going to think my grandbaby is just talking to a complete stranger on here.” 

and then bethany flew down and met scarlett and she was so excited because !!!! her grandson had a girlfriend !!!! 

grandma scarlett was the biggest supporter of anything rory did in life oh my GOD 

at his graduation it was just grandma scarlett in the crowd for him but boy did it sound like the whole crowd was cheering for him when his name was called 

anyway flash forward to he’s in college and he’s moved away to be closer to bethany.  which should not have affected his life but when he was looking at colleges fr fr after acceptances the boy chose one closer to his girl

we love a softie ok 

anyway on bethany’s 19th birthday he took her to an airport and was surprising her with a trip to disney that he’s been saving up for for MONTHS !!!! 

and at the airport he was like all jittery and nervous bc in his pocket he had an engagement ring but he did his bEST to hide it all from beth bc surprises 

not that he planned the whole thing ( he did ) but it just so happened they were in the same restaurant waiting for their flight as their first date way back when

and in the middle of dessert, the waiters singing happy birthday this boy attempts to be sly and gets down on one knee.  but didnt realize there would be someone coming up behind him to keep up the singing and he ..... kinda caused a mini avalanche of people

and he apologized and is like still on one knee and now he’s looking at bethany with a BRIGHT RED face and he had had this whole speech worked out in his mind ok but all that comes out is, “i love you, please marry me?” in like an awkward stutter because he just TOOK OUT AN ENTIRE WAITSTAFF 

somehow bethany said yes ??? and they’re engaged ??? 

oh and someone got the whole thing on camera and like that happened 

the video skyrocketed to the most viewed video entitled “i witnessed an awkward proposal???? and she still said yes?????” 

which is also lowkey how he started his youtube channel ?? 

“hi yes it’s me the guy who proposed to an olympic athlete while taking out a whole waitstaff?? i dont know why she said yes either but i love her??”

and for a long time it was mainly vlogs of him and beth and him and his friends 

okay so fast forward and rory’s graduated college with a degree in history education bc he wants to be a teacher and he’s got to fly back to alabama and miss his graduation because he got a phone call and grandma scarlett had a stroke

so the boy is freaking out but it’s fine !!! grandma goes home and he winds up staying down and now he’s trying to figure out how to be with beth, find a job in ny, but also take care of his grandma 

for a while he toys with the idea of moving grandma up to new york and helping her find a place.  so he goes back to new york to talk to beth about it and he’s freaking out and he gets home and she tells him she’s pregnant

of course he never expected to be like 20 and having a baby but ??? whatever.  now he’s freaking out because his grandma is not doing good and he’s worried about her and now he’s got to figure out what to do with a BABY ???

and bethany then tells him she wants to get an abortion and rory’s already stressed and so he flips bc of emotions and they get into a huge fight and it just winds up with him leaving and heading back to alabama and bethany in their apartment  

so rory goes home to alabama and he keeps getting notifications on social media about bethany so he just shuts his phone off and i’m talking like he goes days without touching his cell phone.  he takes a hiatus from youtube because he’s freaking out and 

two months after he’s home he seemed like scarlett was doing better so he took her to a party in town to see some of her friends and at the party scarlett had another stroke.  

she died six days later, never waking up from the medically induced coma they put her in.  

flash forward a couple more weeks after he’s working with lawyers for his grandma’s estate and rest assured scarlett pearson had nothing but her house, her garden, and her beat up corvette that her deceased husband wyatt bought her for their anniversary one year

so its a shocker to find out that scarlett pearson was worth 43.7 billion dollars 

and now that money all goes to rory because he’s her only living heir ???

so rory gets this BOATLOAD of money and the local newspaper picks it up which brings it to the national news and somehow it made international news

“local alabama boy from youtuber to billionaire overnight” 

so he kept his grandma’s house in alabama because ..... he can’t seem to let that go and why should he ?? its a good house and holds a lot of memories

but he does in fact buy a brownstone in manhattan its HUGE and he doesn’t have enough things to fill the whole space up but ??? he’s working on it slowly. 

he created a makeshift recording studio in one of the upstairs rooms and has been working on music, which is new to him ?? he was always a bit artistic but never sure enough to like try it out

oh and he’s returned to youtube, he’s got a decent following i guess 

i mean lbr he’s hot ???? and sings ??? so ??? ya know 

personality: 

okay so this is long already so im gonna keep this short n sweet

rory is a sweet boy, never really an athletic type always more focused on his studies than sports.  

spent a lot of time with his grandma and he’s very easily attached to people he’s close to.  not exactly clingy, but it’s really hard for him to let people go i guess ??? 

used to love shows like survivor and big brother and amazing race. always toyed with the idea of applying to be on amazing race but he never had anyone who would go with him, or could for that long.  

he’s a real kind hearted guy and clumsy as fuck

a bit awkward when you first meet him but ??? you warm up quickly and so does he

clumsy af as noted earlier 

kind of depressed ??? idk he’s not seeing anyone for it but post losing beth, his grandma, and like the possibility of a family in the future he’s kinda ..... morbid 

puts on a happy front for youtube

oh and he does a podcast talking about stuff with his friends idk what exactly but ?? its prob music and movies lbr

connections: 

best friend(s)--self explanatory; people who he gets along with and they’re like his ride or dies.  

nerd friends--give him someone to geek out with please he’s SUCH A NERD !!!! or someone who likes learning random things he’s got u 

musical friends--people who he met through starting to delve into music 

youtube community--give me people who !!! met through youtube and often do colabs together.  probably ppl who were shooketh when he came back and was like “bro i have 40 billion dollars????”

wealthy friend(s)--give me someone who will teach this boy how to be wealthy ??? like cause he knows nothing about that he struggled a lot growing up and with college and several part time jobs he doesnt know how to like party or anything 

idk anything else 

[zeamusic-blog1]

3:01 am 31/05/19

i almost killed myself 3 days ago. or almost tried to at least. i also relapsed and self-harmed again for the first time in almost a year i think. well idk if you can call it self-harm, i just scratch myself as hard as i can all over my arms. doesn’t draw a lot of blood but it does leave marks for a few days. i just like how my arms literally burn afterwards and they go all red and there are welts for a few hours. it feels good. im not sure what triggered it. everything had been irritating me and getting on my nerves for the past 2 weeks, probably bc i was PMSing, but it got so dark and so deep 3 days ago. i think bc it was his birthday the day before and it just made me remember everything that happened with him. and it just made me realise that he probably has not thought of me at all in the last 2 months at least. people forget me a lot easier than i forget them. i care way more about people than they care about me. and i spent a full 6 minutes in front of the mirror that day, crying and repeating to myself “i deserve better” i deserve fucking better bc i do, i deserve the whole world. but then why does everyone leave so easily. no fight or argument, they just exit my life. like a, s, s, r, d, m, a, i, a, e, all just left me in their past. replaced me with someone else. if it’s that easy then do i really mean anything at all? surely if i was significant it wouldn’t be so simple for so many people to leave me and forget me. whilst i’m left reminiscing every day, wondering what i did so wrong and what could’ve been if i’d done something differently. i never want to have any regrets bc what’s happened has happened. but lately, i regret everything. i dont know where to start or where to end or how to sit with myself. i hate being alone. i cant be by myself, thats when everything starts going downhill. i hate how i always need someone to make me feel complete. i wish i could give all the love i want to give to someone else, to myself and be okay with just myself. but i cant. when im alone i just get in my head and then try and kill myself apparently. i was high as fuck that night and took a knife to cut open a box and i just looked down at it in my head, so light and easy, and it just struck me how fucking easy it would be to just press the blade to my wrist and drag vertically and let it do its work. but the tiny rational part of my brain was terrified at the thought and so i never got to that point. i just pressed the knife to the corner of my palm and dragged down over and over. but i must not have been pressing that hard bc i didnt cut into muscle, just split the first few layers of skin. i’ve always been averse to cutting and i guess it was my subconscious preventing me of committing it in that moment. but i came so close to drawing blood and that terrified me. the real, serious thoughts i had of just cutting open my wrists or stabbing my jugular or getting the box of paracetamol and just taking all 40 pills in there, they terrified me and i had the first ever paranoia i ever felt whilst high. the 2 days following that were just as bad, although i didnt pick up a knife or pills. just sat in my room crying for most of the day, if not the whole day. today was okay. i didnt cry until half an hour ago when i reinstalled snapchat and saw m and y had messaged me to make sure i was okay. i know there are people who care but at the same time, there’s this voice constantly saying that they don’t really care and they definitely dont care the same way you care about them. and i find myself listening to that voice a lot more nowadays. all the same, i want to talk to them. i want to reach out and ask for help and just tell someone who cares, even if just a tiny but, whats been going on and how scared and fucking miserable i am. but i just couldn’t bring myself to. i didnt want to face the disappointment of not getting the reaction i want, which i dont even fucking know what reaction i want. i also just dont want to burden them. i know they have their own shit going on and i dont want to add to that and make it worse. i just have no one to speak to at this point and i’ve never felt as alone as i have this whole week. its been really shitty, to say the least. i guess thats why i wrote this. i just had to get it out somehow and i couldnt tell people in my life so here it goes forever into the interweb. nobody’s going to read this anyway, who’s going to click on my tumblr. so i guess it’s alright. just a place for me to get my thoughts out and hopefully find a better, healthier way to cope with all this. i love you and you deserve better okay. you will be okay. help yourself. please.

[meatpinata]

=> A memory passes through.

     Recent events got you thinking about something you’d rather not be thinking about, yet here you are, in the wee hours of the morning, thinking about the very thing you really did not want to fucking think about.

     You lay in bed, stare up at the blank ceilings, trying to push these thoughts out of your head, but they keep crawling back to you. No matter how many thoughts you try to think about to push those ones out, it doesn’t work and your mind drifts back to when you killed your guardian.

     Bro had always been somebody who you admired for his strength but hated for his brutality, and you could never have one without the other. You don’t ever remember a time where he didn’t look at you like you were a waste of air and he made it known. His feelings for you or Dirk weren’t kept a secret. 

     If they were, he did an astronomically good job at hiding it by beating your asses into submission. You lied to yourself for so long saying it was to train you, to make you better at protecting yourselves and readying you for the shitstorm that was to come. It had its perks, obviously - you learned how to fight, but you quickly found out you hated it. 

     You needed to find a way out, and you did but with grave consequences. 

     Bro was on your case for something, you can’t remember what because as far as you know, it was probably nothing. You made him angry, though, and he showed it with his fists and sword, with words thrown into the mix and he struck you down over and over. 

     ‘Look at me when I’m talkin’ to you!’ he snarled, grabbing you by the throat and making you look at him. Your shades were long since discarded so you had nothing to to protect yourself. 

    You were shaking, tears welling up in your eyes and you were so desperate to keep them at bay. You never cried in front of Bro. Tears were the biggest trigger for his rage. 

    He threw you down, pointing the tip of his sword at your chest and fear bubbled up in you. He could easily kill you, so why hasn’t he done it? Why did he continue to hurt and torment you like this? 

    ‘Fuckin’ pussy,’ he hissed, pressing his sword into your chest just enough for you to feel the pinprick in your skin. 

    Suddenly Dirk was at your side, grabbing Bro’s arm to try and let you up. You don’t remember him getting there, and you don’t fully remember what happened between the two but Bro turned on Dirk, threatening him and smacking him around and that gave you ample opportunity to climb up and grab your own sword, which laid half broken on the ground. 

    Using Dirk as the distraction and with blind rage fueling you, you drove your sword through his chest. 

    There was a moment when everything went still. 

    Dirk stared at you as Bro tensed up and you just pushed the sword in a little deeper until it came to a stop at the hilt. Blood oozed around your shaking hands and the only sound any of you made was your ragged breathing. 

    Bro twisted his head around just enough to look at you through the corner of his eye. You met his gaze and faltered. 

    There wasn’t anger in him. There wasn’t rage. You didn’t see sorrow, nor regret, nor remorse. You saw something that made your stomach churn painfully and your heart beat rapidly in your chest. 

    You saw pride. 

    You won the war against him.

    You let go of the sword as his body collapsed into a heap, blood pooling around his form. You stared at it, feeling numb and cold and empty. 

    ‘Dave...’ Dirk’s voice broke through to you and you looked up. 

    The world around you went on fast forward. Everything happened so fast - you backed up, Dirk moved closer but you pushed him away and doubled over, throwing up what little contents your stomach held. You coughed and sputtered and backed away, feeling the overwhelming desire to run, but your legs turned to lead.

    Dirk grabbed you and pulled you in close, trying to whisper comforting words to keep you calm, but you couldn’t. You never killed anybody before. You never thought you could, let alone Bro. 

    You lost it.

    You cried and yelled and sobbed into Dirk’s chest and he just held you, petting your hair. You grabbed onto him and held him close and kept crying, kept yelling, kept sobbing until you couldn’t anymore, until your body went limp in his arms and sheer exhaustion from what happened took over.

    You woke up in Dirk’s bed hours later and when you went into the living room, you found Bro’s body gone. Dirk was scrubbing the floor, and when he noticed you, he stood up. 

    ‘I wrapped him up,’ he explained. ‘Thinkin’ we could bury him somewhere.’ 

    You just nodded, grabbing some gloves and a cloth to help clean up the stain that would never leave. Even if you burned the apartment down, it’ll always be there in your mind, just like Bro’s blood on your hands.

[4jimin]

hello there!! its me guys… so !! here i am, doing what ive wanted to do for a long time. it’s new year, the first day of 2018, and i wanted to take the chance to say some things.

i’ve always struggled when it came to expressing myself and letting my inner self out in the open, bc i didn’t like feeling that exposed, but if there is a thing i’ve learnt with the passage of the years is that one of the most important things in the world – if not the most – is sharing love and showing people they’re appreciated and cared for. so i may strech myself a little bit too much, but please keep up with me, i have never been good at expressing myself shortly :(

2017 has been a tough year. for all of us, in different scales. some of us lost many important things, from people to motivation, or a reason. we lost jonghyun this year and no words can express how big of a loss this was. i almost lost my grandma, and only i know how much this triggered a fear in me. it doesn’t matter how much we say life is precious and worth living, sometimes we just can’t see an end to it. a path, a destination. from what i know, anyone i know could be gone tomorrow, or even today, and the heavy realization of this sank on me like never last year. that’s why i think it’s so important letting others sincerely know their impact in our lives, it doesn’t matter if you don’t impact their lives just as much. that’s not the point of it. i’m sure you impact other people in a way maybe they don’t impact you. and that’s okay. we’re humans. it doesn’t have to be mutual to be real and significant. because in the end of the day that’s what makes all of us important. the things we feel and how all of it connect us with other people. happiness, sadness, fear, love and all kinds of emotions – they should be shared. don’t be scared about it. i swear you’re important, and you matter, you just have to believe it. please, keep going, you’re such an unique, precious thing to this world, and it would be such a loss to not have you. i love you, i hope you all have a happy new year, and – most of all –, so many love in your hearts that it feels like swelling and like it doesn’t fit your body ♥

to the people that i feel like having the biggest connection with in here: you’re so important to me. really. i love you so much

@jihope hello there you. it’s me again lmao im here to say for a billion times over how much i love and adore you, and everything that you are. i love when you talk so excitedly about the things that you’re into, and how you’re so passionate that i can actually feel all the love through a goddamn screen lmao i love how thoughtful and caring you are of your family, i love your relationship with your mother. i love how it feels to me that you can fit anywhere, talk to anyone. i love how it doesn’t seem like you’re scared to live your life, doing whatever you want whenever you want. i love how you always reassure how much you love me it doesn’t matter how i can lack sometimes. honestly, i love you so much it’s insane. thank you for being my best friend, i love you.

@c-cygnus tbh i feel like i love so many things about you i could go on for hours. meariie you’re such a precious little thing. i know you’re like a month younger than me, but i feel like you’re my baby and that i need to protect you from everything. i love how you’re always so bright and cheerful, melting everyone’s heart in a beat of a second. i love how humble you are, no matter how much fucking talent there is inside of you, you act like it’s no big deal when it fascinates me and so many other people to the core. i love how you’re pure, it makes me feel like the world is good and that i could just hug it all in my arms. i love how you make me feel when we talk and literally explode declarations all over for each other. i’m so happy to have met you, thank you so much for being a part of my life, i love you.

@tanktoptiger keila, i feel like i’ve learned so many things from you. i know you’re always proud to hear that – and you should, because it’s amazing –, but you were one of the reasons why i started to feel more comfortable with my sexuality to actually start wondering and questioning some things that i felt. i can never thank you enough for that. i love how it doesn’t matter the situation or the environment, you’re not scared to let others people what you think and how you see the world. i felt jealous about it, because i’ve always lacked on this part of myself. consciously or not, i’ve always caught myself wondering if i should speak up, if it was worth the time and strength and if it’d make others hate me. now, i can see that these things are not really important and that i shouldn’t let it stop me from speaking for myself. i love this about you. i also love how funny you are sometimes without meaning to, and how sweet you can be no matter how tough you may try to look. i love you, please keep being who you are.

@blt-prf hello, i miss you :( and i couldn’t let you out of this, because truly sfjnd you’re an inspiration for me. i still remember when i sent you that first ask, absolutely dying out of embarrassment and rambling my way out, because you were one of my favorite authors and i had to let you know, but then you answered so sweetly and followed me and i was???? wow life is good. anyway, after actually getting to know a little bif of you, i only grew more fond of who you are, and now everytime you pop up in my notes or in my dash i feel like mush (im serious sdjkdjf) i love you so much, i hope you know that

@sheloveskook baby :-( tbh you’re like a ray of sunshine shining sososo bright everytime we talk, and i usually get ??? h o w can you be so sweet and so caring all the time, you actually overwhelm me in the best of ways and every time we talk i feel like i could curl on a bed like a baby with you singing me to sleep and?? idk if this is weird but this is sincerely how i feel. i wish i could give you all the good things in the world like, a day in jungkook’s arms?? id give you if i could. i hope this year is like immensely good for you, and that even if it brings you bad experiences it is only useful to help you grow and become an even more incredible person. i love you so much i wish i could lock you up in my heart, :(

@m0chimchim bree, angel. you were one of the first people i met here and honestly what a great way to start my experience with this blog. you went away a little after i joined here, but even though i had already grown so fond of you?? and i don’t know how you did it, but everytime i thought about you i was worried wondering if you were alright, happy and smiling. i still worry but seeing you in here rambling about your day at times and all, makes me feel so good i could just hug you the tightest. i hope life is treating you well, always. i love you

@strongjeon give it up for the most gorgeous woman w the best make up skills, a queen. listen. i dont know if im too easily entranced by people (which i dont think so), but im actually so??? mindblown bc we have actually just started properly talking it has two days but i already feel so attached and comfortable around you, like we could talk for hours straight (like we already been doing? wow amazing) you’re so funny and cute and pretty and talented and i just get!! why and how you and isis got to find me interesting enough to join you sfjfkdkd but!! i also wanted to let you know that you can reach me anytime you want if you ever need to talk and just vent okay? i don’t know if things are still hard, but if they are i’ll give my best on trying to make you laugh and happy. thank you for being so supportive, you have no idea how much this means to me :( i love you

@pkjjm hello you the duo part of my squad goals sdfjkf i know you’re probably not going to see this until you come back but im writing it to you nonetheless bc?? i have to let you know some things. i always watched you from afar and thought “wow isis is so cool she’s so funny i wish we would be friends” but i was too shy to properly approach you so i kept on w this inside of me for a long time sfjkdn and now that we’re actually talking i feel so regretful that i didn’t try to talk to you before bc you’re honestly amazing?? you make me laugh so hard and i love how spontaneous you are, your facial expressions are seriously the best, and i love how even though we had never actually talked before, just interacted here and there, you still made me feel so comfortable, like i was already part of that group just like cami did. thank you so much for hyping me up 100% of the time, know that if you ever need me for anything im here okay?? i love you

@1taesgf if it’s not the bae of my heart, the princess of my dreams ! my little angel, i hope this next year comes full of good memories to mark on you, full of smiles to gift you and most importantly full of immense love to fill your heart just like you deserve. i love you so much, i always get extra hyped when i see you in my dash, i seriously do sdfjkdsh i wish i could give you everything you wanted, like i bet if tae ever saw you he’d be so lovestruck it wouldn’t take him a minute to be head over heels for you!! you’re so sweet and such a beautiful person, i’m always here wishing you the best and hoping you have the biggest smile on your face!!

@parkjiminer my long term other half!! i know it may be weird to listen (read?) this but cathy i feel such a sense of fondness towards you, like that one you feel when your friend achieves something amazing and you’re just sosososo proud even though it didn’t happen directly to you yknow?? i think id be your mom friend if we saw each other daily and regularly lmao i still remember when i found out you got into uni and i was???? so happy seriously so happy even though me myself haven’t made it?? i truly love you a lot and i hope 2018 comes to help you create and make amazing things, just like yourself

@blossomins my sweetest pure angel :( honestly my heart actually hurts from how much i miss you. from the way you’d suddenly drop by my inbox with random ‘i love you’s and ‘i miss you’s or how you’d cutely ramble about something on your txt posts or how you’d suddenly post an amazing fic leaving everyone?? amazed. i absolutely love the way you express yourself, it’s so cute and genuine and i wish you’d see this. jo, you’re such an unique beautiful being and im honestly so happy i was blessed enough to get to meet you. thank you for being you? i love you

@ggukbun airaaaaa!! god you’re seriously so beautiful in and out. i absolutely love when you go off about jungkook, its like the sweetest and funniest thing in the world at the same time sdgjsmdhfk also i think you’re probably one of the most aesthetic people i’ve ever met and i think this is absolutely?? wow goals. i wish you to know that i think you’re absolutely incredible and also so sweet it actually makes my heart go all :((( i love you aira, i hope you have the best of the years and also is able to fulfill all of your wishes

@bangtanroyalty oh well :( my loveeee, i know i randomly drop by your inbox to send you messages like this all the time but?? you’re such an inspiration, i see such a kind and powerful woman in you, it’s amazing how you look like you could kick my ass while also kissing my forehead sdhjdnf i know you’ve already heard everything i’m going to tell you, but i just wanted to reassure how much i love you and how amazing i think you are. i love how you’re always so adorable with everyone around you and feels so down to earth to talk with. i love you and this year better bring you some damn great moments or else im going after him to !! beat his ugly ass

@chuulove shoutout to the ever so good-looking bee……..a goddess………listen i’ve always admired you from afar bc i always thought you were so cool and funny and when you actually followed me i was so sfhfkfj how did this happen lmao but seriously bee i absolutely love the way you talk and how you make text posts and them go “adjdkfdhd” in the tags laughing at yourself, i think it’s seriously the cutest thing :( i lov your sense of humour bc it’s actually a lot like mine, so every time you post smth im always prepared to go just like your tags and “sdjdknshdk” but anyway i hope you know i sincerely appreciate and love you a lot and i wish you nothing but happiness

@raplinesgf gio!!!!! if for some in here i feel like im their mom friend for you i feel like you could be my mom friend sdhkjdb seriously you’re so kind and caring, and i feel like you’re always worrying about the ones around you but at the same time you seem so centered and responsible i cant help but feel a sense of proud towards you sdhkfnd i love these little things about you, and how you just do whatever you want don’t matter what others will think, like that time when you changed your whole blog instead of creating a sideblog to dedicate to that group you worked with just bc you felt so much love for them sjsb that day i started admiring you so much more bc you made me feel free to do whatever i wanted to, even though it wasn’t oh such a big thing. anyway i feel like you’ve taught many things without ever meaning to and i’m so grateful for that, i love you

@jjeonguk kyra :( as one of the first people i met in here i feel like you introduced my experience here so well bc seriously you’re such a sweet and funny person to be around, it’s so amusing to see you interact with your followers and friends, i always end up laughing by myself with the messages they send you shdjdj and i also love to see you ramble on the dashboard about things in your life or that time when u were tipsy sjdjkf amazing lmao but !! i just wanted to let you know that even though i suck at conversations and all this you’re seriously so special to me i want you to be so happy like you never felt before!! thank you so much for existing, i love you

@muchbetterbts the one who always comes to freak out about jikook with me in the chat, could i be more grateful??? ju you’re so funny and cute, i love when you’re going off about the things you love, sometimes you remind of jin when he’s in a heated discourse about things with the maknae line in that way he does and it’s seriously the cutest thing in the world sdjdkjd thank you for always hitting me up to freak out with me, i love you a lot

@lesbianblossomjimin the ever so loving ash!! god you’re such a source of inspiration – from rocking looks to fighting your way through life, i?? admire you so much?? i know i already went off and started rambling on that video you posted but seriously, you’re such an amazing person. i feel so encouraged by you sometimes and i wish the world could be a better place for all of us, it seriously saddens me so much whenever i see you’re feeling down or frustrated at things for being the way they are it makes me feeling like kicking everyone responsible for this shitty world in the face. but i feel so much better when i see that sea of people loving you and sending you incredible messages like “yes!! send this much love but also much more” bc honestly you deserve all the love in the world :( i love you, i hope in the end of this year you can look happy and feel at ease at all the amazing things i know you’ll accomplish

@clairelions my baby chichi :( i cant believe i didn’t get to meet you before, you are so incredibly talented, with all your beautiful edits with bright colors and cute flowers, i always feel so good looking at them!! thank you for always sending me cheerful messages and supporting me with your sweet compliments, you always melt my heart and make turn into a blushing mess. i wish you all the good to go your way in this year and that you can always see beauty even in the ugly places. i love you, thank you for being this source of warmth always

for those whom i don’t have the courage to approach, to speak regularly or even interact, or that i interact just a little from time to time: know that i admire you from afar like an idiot and that i love you a lot

@dulcetjimin ♡ @jiminkirk ♡ @taehob ♡ @jungkookio ♡ @jeonjeongguke ♡ @jungkookjimins ♡ @vanillalattaes ♡ @cowjimin ♡ @prettymochi ♡ @bwisan ♡ @taesflower ♡ @jwimins ♡ @nochuu ♡ @busanbfs ♡ @safejimin ♡ @orayanno ♡ @jeonbia ♡ @velvethoseok ♡ @harunyany ♡ @je0n ♡ @cutiepiebts ♡ @bts420 ♡ @caughtinjimin ♡ @jikookdetails ♡ @jikook-love ♡ @parkejimins ♡ @astro-child ♡ @berry-happy-tokki ♡ @dyegu ♡ @heyhosam ♡ @kainks ♡ @mochismile ♡ @yxxn-g1 ♡ @chimhyung ♡ @ddochi-jimin ♡ @yourpinkpill ♡ @jiminshugs ♡ @jiminslattae ♡ @hobiini ♡ @jjksamor

and for the two of you, who are always so supportive of me and the absolute sweetest: thank you, i love you so much, and i hope there’s only happiness when you think about yourselves

@haileyjikai @jikookaddicted

i know that in the end of the day this is just a blog, and most of us will follow different paths along our lives and are very likely never going to meet in real life – but nonetheless, i feel like none of this matter, bc i feel like it’s such a gift to be able to share so many things and feelings with people from all around the world in a way they become part of your daily routine. even though we may go different ways one day, i feel like i can never forget you guys, bc you all leave always such a great impact on me. bts got to make me experience a lot of incredible things – and one of them was to know that there are such beautiful people like you all in the world. i love you 💘

[fsnowemblem]

Would you do a big post about why you like Noire? I know like nothing about her but I think she's really cute and I wanna know what about her makes you love her so much

you asked for it m’dude

you FREAKING ASKED FOR IT

and i assume that at this point you dont care about awakening support spoilers

In general like her archetype of character, a seemingly fragile quirky character that can go insane/berserk, an example is A.B.A. from guilty gear, i love it so much that my first ever original character that i made is this archetype

I really like her backstory, not like in the sense that i relate, but like in the sense that is very interesting, having a shitty shitty parent that did experiments on her, she ends up being a guinea pig for hexes of her mother, and becomes very shy, very jumpy and she talks very softly and with kind of a broken voice, her mother ends up giving her a talisman that is supposed to be hexed so that noire can draw strenght from it so it will protect her, talisman is just a placebo thats just there for noire to vent up her frustrations, she starts yelling, laughing and becomes way more aggressive, it is not a happy story, when you see noire for the first time she has already gone through so much, that the very fact that she is there to fight still is kind of remarkable, she is so determined that a lot of the supports she has with other ppl usually are impressed by her will power alone, she comes to the army broken, sad and scared, like most of the kid generation to be fair, their world pretty much was destroyed, but she along with the others is so set in making things right that her fears and worries are not gonna stop her, in short terms, she is like actually the strongest and most incredible of the kids that went back in time

I touched on her personallity a bit but she is really cool, even tho she is kinda quiet and doesnt usually involves herself with others, she cares about every single person she interacts with and is ready to help and protect anybody at any time, the best example is the support with pannes kid, dude is as much as a scaredy cat as her and their support starts by her doing him a favor, no questions ask and no hesitation, followed by him being inspired by her conviction of making things right and overcoming her fears, so much so that he stops hiding all together, and that support also shows that she is smart as to when to snap and become all violent and shit and when to keep calm and make ppl listen to her, she has weaponized both her cuteness and her aggresive nature

She is a way bigger human than me, if my mother experimented on me to the point of me becoming her guinea pig, i wouldve been like, lol fuck you never talk to me again, as strong as blood bonds are, i am not one to take shit and expect to make peace later, she on the other hand wants to make amends, and even tho the tharja she makes ameds with is not her mother, she wants to avoid her to be repeated by the mistakes of her parents i think that is so cool too, she is incredible

I just love all the little details of her supports about just being so inspiring to the ppl she talks to and her determination being contageous while never hiding her fears, worries and hesitation, she pushes forward despite her being scared, broken and sad, while other ppl have to be pushed to the point where they will actually say how they feel, i like how honest and direct she is, and i also really love how if she gets frustrated with someone being blatantly lying or being dense as fuck she will just snap and yell the truth out of them or really clearly explain her point so then she can help them get better or help them realize something abuot them, her berserk form is kind of a last resourse in this regard but its super funny and endearing when she just looses patience and tell them in ther faces how it is

But enough about her backstory lets go to gameplay!

she has *the* coolest passive ability, vengance, when you get hit you do your damage, plus the damage you where dealt at i think the luck stat x 2? one of the stats x 2, not only you can level up that stat really easily, she levels it up a lot naturally  and you end up getting vengance like 80% of the attacks if not all of them, she is a fucking killing machine its amazing, she is a bit of a glass cannon tho so be careful when using her, but i ended up using her so much that she started to just take like hits that where just around 20% of her health and subsequently dealing one hit kills, and since she is an archer, she can learn the one hit kill skill that is i believe the same stat as the vengance one, so since she already levels it up so fast naturaly she either does a one shot critical, she does a straight up critical hit that will murder fools straight up OR she will deal damage BACK that destroys ppl, SHE. IS. INCREDIBLE

 She is very resistance heavy and in the tail end missions of awakening you are usually getting bombarded by wizards not only is that helpful, they usually attack her bcus she has the least ammount of health so you can just go destroying magical fools left and right, and this is like, just vanilla noire, the first time i played awakening, gregor (a mercenary) was the parent she inherited a skill from, i made her a mercenary after getting said vengance and one hit kill chance, she gained sol, so when she did some insane damage she cured herself up to full health, proceeding to just freaking MURDER, i went with pretty much just her alone in one of the hollow boxes thingies and she just destroyed the whole map by herself taking like 3 damage total, when gaius was her father in my 2nd or 3rd playthru, she had the vengance stat to 50% so her vengance triggered EVERY SINGLE TIME plus the one hit kill skill she was the deadliest unit i had but she kept her glass cannon-ess trait so i had a healer next to her all the time, that being said tho she was my go to, oh shit this unit is super tanky, les go girl 1 shot it, and she did 100% of the time, and the 3RD TIME (or 2nd, i dunno) Libra was her dad, so i ended up making her a sorcerer, and needless to say, i think she ended up getting less vengance triggers but her magic power alone was dropping any fool that decided to wear metal armor that day and not go prepared for the biggest magic damage in human history

I really cant stress this enough

SHE.IS. A. GOD. DAMN. MONSTER. I. LOVE. HER. SO. MUCH. 

Also needless to say, in one of my 3 playthrus, i just went straight up to grimma with her, she got hit to 1 hp left, did the vengance and got grimma herself to freaking 5 hp left GRIMMA, THE FINAL BOSS, THE finall boss that you usually have to use a falchion to do significant damge, she is the hero we need and deserve.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OF, HER MANIACAL LAUGH IS THE CUTEST SHIT IN THE UNIVERSE SHE LAUGHS LIKE A TRUE DISNEY VILLAN AND DOES THE MOST ADORABLE SQUEAL AT THE END OF IT HOLY SHIT, i played the game in english so maybe its just in the english version BUT DAMN DID THE VA FUCKING NAILED IT its like, so perfect how she goes from insane laughter to with that little little hint of her broken meekly voice, BOY HOWDY i fell in love then and there the first time i heard it, best part, she triggered a skill/got a critical hit so often that i hear BLOOD AND THUNDER!! and her laugh SO MUCH, AND IT NEVER GOT OLD I was allways allways aaaaallways all giddy bcus i love it so much, i have 3 critical triggers that i love with my whole heart in awakening, 1 is noires laugh, 2 is noire yelling blood and thunder and 3 is frederick saying “pick a god and pray” bcus hot damn all of them just give me goose bumps, also continuing in voice lines trends

HER VOICE ACTRESS IS SO GOOD i cannot even begin to think about a better job to do this kind of character her passive voice is so quiet, scared and broken and her aggressive one is SO aggressive there is no inbetween its either 100% or 1% volume and crazyness its incredible, her passive voice is like she is constantly in the brink of tears just by talking, and her aggressive one is in the brink of snapping your spine in half mortal combat style and going back to the archetype i like THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT DUDE, THIS IS THE PINICLE OF SHY GIRL THAT GOES INSANE VOICE

If you thought i was done gushing about her IM JUST BEGINNING, lets move to her overall design shall we?

comming off of the voice actress incredible job, her whole demeanor compliments her voice so well, its one of those designs that you just cant see it any other way (even tho i do some changes to it all the time xD) i just cant imagine her having that voice and *not* looking like that you know? she looks straight up incredible (i could maybe use actual breastplate rather than a boob window with a leather support underneath but hey, i guess nothing is perfect)

Her official art of her drawing back her bow but the arrow being all badly placed and shit is objectively the most adorable picture in the world

The tones of green they used for her are really cool i grew in a place with a lot of trees and i really find them soothing, her whole forest green design just kills me and compliment her browns of belt and leather so well, the diamond pattern is also rul cute rather than the boring line pattern virion has, complimenting her whole deal of her being as beautiful and precious as a diamond

The armor she has on her arm looks so good, and so contrasting to the whole outfit i think its really funny but really badass at the same time, why is she wearing a full on knight arm armor? i have no clue but. i. love. it. she is such a powerful unit that she just needs one arm to defend against scrubs aka all enemy units including grimma itself

HER SQUIGGLY EYEBROWS HOLY SHIT

THE CUTE ROBIN HOOD ASS FEATHER SHE HAS ON HER HEAD, THE HEADBAND, THE FREAKING GOLD HEADBAND DEAR LORD

HER

POOFY 

PANTS 

ARE 

SO 

CUTE

I also really really like how she has like 5 leather belts that go from the belt to her high boots, its real unnecessary and you would think goofy as hell but it ENHANCES the poofy pants so good, now it looks liek a renissance striped poofy pants and i am a sucker for renissance clothing, also, imagine her doing flips and twirls with those, they are gonna follow her flow like a god damn princess dress and god dammit she deserves it bcus she IS A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS 100/10 pants/belt combo, she also has the slickest quiver ever for her arrows, which she hangs on her waist and looks rul cute

HER BOOTS are the best boots in gaming, souper cute, super stylish and really cool looking i just love how tall and chunky they are, they are almost wider than her feet, top notch, the little hole pattern on them give them extra stylish points, they are very basic brown, which just goes to show, if you have a good premisse you can slack on some departments and still look cooler than most of the competition, the little beighe frills on the top of it just puts it all together, incredible, amazing, fantastic i would go on a date with those boots and give em smooches

Im a fan of short hair, i am also a fan of puffy hair and above all i am a FAN of poofy short hair, and she has both, excecuted to perfection, her little long hairs on the side to compliment her messy back, it looks incredible, the braided pattern on the top of her head that just SHOWS how much she cares about her cute hair and with reason bcus its the cutest hair ever, 1k/10 extremely kissable forehead to show love and support when words and praise are not enough, will make you think that she deserves an award for greatest person alive or something, so beautiful it will bring you to tears, so beautiful that will make any dark day a bit brighter, so cute that it surpasses any fuzzy animal on the planet, SO BRIGHT AND GORGEOUS THAT IT WILL BURN YOUR EYES, you get my point by now yes?

her poses of nervousness are cute as hell, makes you want to be there to support her in any way you can, but then you realise that you are looking in a mirror and that not only you see that you also need love and support, but you realize that you can give it, it makes you wanna be a better person, and make everyone around you grow with you, its a mirror into your best self, it will bring you to tears and want to ask for forgiveness to anything wrong you have done in your life

You know how sometimes too much of stuff that you like will sometimes not mix well and end up ruining something in the process? not this time m’dude 

every

single

piece

flows and fits so well with every other composing a beautiful song named Noire, a song so beautiful, amazing, incredible, outstanding and mind blowing that i dont think there will ever be a shining light as bright as this in the whole time i have the privilege of walking on this little dot in the universe that we call earth

so when i say that i like everything about Noire i am NOT joking, i love this character to death, and even  if i wrote this thread with a narrative of me starting really tame and gradually getting overly excited to talk about something that i really love culminating in some ridiculous shit, i really do love this character and i wish to write/design a character this appealing someday a character that seems pretty one note and simple but ends up rooting its way into your heart

[jakesanxietydiary]

12/29/20

2:56 AM I woke up in the middle of the night and didn’t feel tired enough to go back to sleep.  I also realized I didn’t write any entries yesterday.  I tried my best to keep my day full yesterday, I spent most of it playing video games with a lot of action to keep myself from thinking too much.  I also did some drawing for a few hours.  I think I’ve finally accepted that this isn’t going to just get better like things did before, this was a proper nervous breakdown and I’m going to have to work really hard to improve things and be patient and maybe let go of some things I’ve been holding onto.  Im not going to be the same person on the other side of this and I have to be ok with that I guess.  Im still dealing with huge lack of interest.  I made myself watch an episode of Parks and Recreation yesterday.  It was difficult to be honest, watching TV is so passive and all I can think about while watching is how much Im not invested.  But when I actively focused, I was able to get through it. What Im worrying about lately is my memory.  It seems like when I forget something or when I’m trying to remember something I think I “should” remember easily without even thinking about it,  it triggers something in me and starts up bad feelings.  Im also still having a really hard time with eating,  I just feel no want or desire to eat and it actually makes me nauseous to think about eating.  Yesterday I had a bowl of cereal and 2 small rolls with pepperoni and cheese on them and I had to force every bite.  Im really tired of that.  Also having no interest in the things that I once defined myself with is really disorienting, I really feel like I’ve lost myself.. but I think its bad for me to think about that so much.   I cant seem to help it though.  I guess the flatness I feel is protecting me from the bad feelings that got me here in the first place.  Its still weird to not have opinions or preferences. Going to try and go back to sleep. Anxiety: 4 Disconnection: 4 Flatness: 6 __________________________________________________

7:54 AM I went back to my mom’s room because trying to sleep was difficult.  Laying with my eyes closed alone with my thoughts is terrible, I just thinkin this word jumble and some of them give me this brain ache feeling that forces me to sit up.  Mom says I did fall back to sleep in her room for a little bit but I dont remember that.  When I got up though, about an hour and a half ago, My thoughts were perfectly clear for a little while.  I watched another episode of Parks and Rec which I was able to retain fairly well, also let the dogs out to pee, cleaned up some cat puke, and made my grandpa a cup of coffee.  I was emotionless while doing all of this, but it was refreshing to think clearly.  It started to go downhill again though when my wheels started turning, asking the “who am I” questions, testing to see if the dissociation will come back, imagining if I could hang out with Leighann and Daniel and be “myself”.  I thought about Anthony again too and how if he messaged me I wouldn’t be able to go, which sent me down the trail of my attractions again.  At least in the moment it felt like I had no attraction to men or women which was also oddly comforting.  I guess for now I’m just trying to stay in the moment and not think on such a huge scale, just this moment in today.  I think thats why I was able to be calm for a little while this morning.  I hate how every time I feel like I’m doing better, its gone before I know it. Still I dont like that there are things I can’t think about because my anxiety is holding me hostage.   Anxiety: 5 Disconnection: 5 Flatness: 8