#im sorry this has gotten so long but im actually going crazy over this

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

[unsolvedjarin]

omg after reading part two of the mentor!seb x ferrari driver!reader fic i NEED something where he actually tries to play matchmaker for reader and mick😭 Like him giving so many hints but reader is just oblivious and Seb decides to take matter into his own hands yk?

Only if you’re open to it ofc! 🥰🥰

BEES, AMONG OTHER THINGS.

pairing: (mick schumacher x driver! reader) (mentor! sebastian vettel x reader)

note: HEY. i havent written anything in weeks and its been KILLING me. ive been so burnt out lately its crazy, but seeing seb in suzuka did give me a bit of motivation (although this is more of a mick-centric fic, my boy deserves it.) anyways sorry for letting this stew for so long anon, hopefully i can write more soon ive missed it tbh

summary: suzuka finds itself not only an interesting spot for bee hotels, but for reunions and confrontations as well.

content warning: none, except its a little all over the place and once again i havent grammar checked this im so sorry it’s three in the morning

previous part, but can be read without <3

When Sebastian invited the grid to his bee hotel opening, he expected maybe five or six people to come, but not this.

Everyone was coming.

And by everyone, I mean everyone. The drivers, the reserves, even the team principals, had all confirmed their appearance for the event. Sebastian knew he was loved by the grid, but the thought of all of them coming together for him still made his heart swell.

It was one in the afternoon, just thirty minutes before they were about to actually start the event. While the participation of the drivers were confirmed, they were still coming in one by one, some later than the others. Sebastian was in a particularly interesting conversation with Fernando about flowers when a poke to his shoulder captured his attention.

He turned around to find you, standing there behind him, waiting for him to finish his conversation with excitement you couldn’t contain. It was the first time you’ve seen each other since Silverstone, and even then you barely had time to talk to each other.

Before he could say anything, you jumped into his arms and hugged him so tight that Sebastian thought he would lose oxygen— but he still hugged you back with equal enthusiasm.

“Sebastian!” you screamed, being spun around once by the man. He missed you so much. Sebastian wasn’t particularly the greatest texter, and calling wasn’t something you were fond of, so besides the occasional visit you barely talked.

“Y/N, I thought you’d never come,” he says with a grin. He knew you were coming, of course. You would never miss out on this. You give him a playful shove, before giving Fernando a quick hug as well. In the year Seb has been gone, you had gotten closer with the Aston Martin driver who replaced him.

Fernando excuses himself quickly after, knowing you and Sebastian had some catching up to do. “Don’t tell me you’ve replaced me with him,” Sebastian jokes the second the Spaniard was out of earshot.

“Why, are you jealous?” you teased. He scoffs in reply, but you could hear the hint of jealousy in his tone. “Don’t worry Seb, while I love his talk about flowers, you talking my ear off about bees still appeals to me more.”

That makes him smile.

“I’m glad you prefer my infodumping, then.”

The fact that you taught him that term makes your grin even wider. “Anytime.”

You wanted to talk with him more, to tell him how you’ve been doing the past few months, but before you could, some PR person swooped in to film some videos with him.

“Ah, sorry liebling,” Sebastian sighs. He leans in and whispers in your ear, “One thing I haven’t missed are these media hungry people.”

You stifle a giggle, before nudging him away from you. “Go on, it’s your event, this is your own doing.”

He rolls his eyes but walks away nonetheless, following the person from the media. Before he moves out of earshot, however, he shouts, “Oh by the way, Mick is here! Don’t be shy, go talk to him.”

Oh the bastard.

Half the grid must have heard that. You look at him with shock and a light blush on your cheeks but are met only with a cheeky grin from the man before he turns around to fully walk away.

Admittedly though, he was right. You hadn’t been talking to Mick much. You had a few lunches with him after Seb retired but without his third wheeling company, it just felt awkward to go out with the reserve driver one on one. You started thinking he just ate with you because he felt bad for you or something of the sort.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A voice snaps you out of your thinking.

“Jesus! Lewis, don’t give me a heart attack like that.”

The Mercedes driver laughs before replying, “Sorry, you just looked tense. Thinking about the race?”

“Not really, just some other stuff.”

“Like what? Like Mick?”

You almost choked on your own saliva right there and then. “Wh- what? What would— haha— make you think that? No that’s crazy, I’m just thinking about the bees! Yeah, because like the bee hotel and stuff I love b—”

“Sebastian wasn’t really quiet talking to you just then, you know.” He comments, cutting you off.

“Oh I’ll kill him.”

“Doubt it, you’ve missed him too much these past months to kill him immediately.”

“Touché, maybe I’ll wait a few more then.”

“Stop avoiding the question, why’re you thinking about Mick?” Lewis asks, not giving the topic up. Oh what the hell, Sebastian trusts him right? So you could trust him.

Thinking of how you could word your thoughts properly, you start, “I kinda— I dunno— I mean he’s a nice guy, he’s pretty sweet, and we’re friends obviously so it’d be—”

“You like him don’t you.” Lewis cuts you off for the second time in a row.

“Yeah.”

“Damn,” he sighs, letting it linger for a moment. “That’s crazy.”

A beat of silence passes. “You’re not gonna say anything else?”

“Say anything else about what?” Sebastian butts in your conversation, clearly just having finished his short interview. He takes his place beside you, scooching in between you and Lewis instead of taking up the free space on the other side.

“Oh, Y/N was just talking about how she likes Mick.”

“Was not!” You exclaim.

“Was too,” Lewis retorts. His teasing never ceased to amuse and annoy you at the same time.

“I think I’m going to believe Lewis on this one. After all, you did tell me, and I quote, you ‘sorta have a little maybe crush’ on Mick.”

You hang your mouth agape incredulously before slapping Seb on the arm, “I told you that in confidence!”

Seb laughs before defending himself, “Well Lewis knows now! Besides, it’s not like you’ve been that discrete about it.”

You look at Lewis who shrugs in reply, “It’s true. Pretty obvious when a Ferrari driver keeps hanging around the Mercedes garage, mate.”

Oh well, cat’s out of the bag. There’s no point in keeping it secret from Lewis now, you think. Putting your head in your hands, you groan, “That’s the problem! I’m always at the Mercedes garage talking to you or Toto or even George but never him!”

“Well why don’t you…talk to him?”

“Great advice Sherlock, gee, got any more good ones for me?” You ask Sebastian sarcastically. While you and Seb banter though, Lewis recalls a conversation he had with Mick one late night back in Singapore.

“Hey Lew, was Y/N here earlier?”

Lewis, who was packing up to go home, redirects his focus to the only remaining guy in the garage save for a few engineers. “Yeah, she visited right after the race to congratulate me. Why’re you looking for her?”

“Oh nothing, just asking.” Mick replies, fiddling with his hands. Even in his tired state, Lewis could tell that there was more the young driver wasn’t saying.

“C’mon, spit it out.” Lewis says, taking a seat on a random chair and patting the one beside him for Mick to take a seat. The younger driver hesitates for a moment before sighing and sitting down. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Better than anyone. Do you know what happened when Alonso crashed his McLaren back in 2015?”

“No, what?”

“Exactly,” Lewis replies with a grin. “So what is it?”

“I…” Mick sighs, unable to find the right words for what he was trying to say. “I think I like Y/N.”

There, it’s out in the open, he thinks. Mick waits for a reply from Lewis, but gets none. “Hello?”

Another beat of silence.

“Okay, this is starting to scare me.”

Lewis finally snaps out of his trance-like state, before getting up and continuing to pack up his things. “Okay.”

“That’s it? Okay?”

“Well I thought it’d be something more secretive,” he says, putting up bunny ears.

“It is secretive,” Mick replies, mocking Lewis’ bunny ears. “No one knows.”

“Eh, I’m not so sure about that mate. I mean if you exclude Sebastian, Fernando, Toto, and myself, then sure, no one knows.”

Oh shit. Was he that obvious? “How- how did you all figure it out?”

“Well for one, if constantly tailing Sebastian and Y/N last year was your attempt at being discreet, then it was a horrible attempt. Second, you need to stop turning red and running away whenever she’s at the garage giving out food and what not. I can’t keep asking her for extra donuts for you forever, you know?”

Mick blushed slightly at the comment, not realizing how every time you came around to the garage he’d been unwillingly avoiding you out of fear you wouldn’t want to talk to him.

Lewis pats Mick on the back, getting ready to leave. “Listen man, if I were you, I’d make a move. That opportunity won’t last forever, plus, it seems like they like you back. Didn’t you guys go out together just the two of you a couple of times?”

Mick shrugged, “I don’t know, I mean I think she did that just because she felt bad for me being alone in the grid and because she missed Sebastian.”

Lewis internally rolled his eyes. He’s seen the way you look at Mick, there’s no way you didn’t like him too. “You have to stop doubting yourself. I mean the worst she can do is say no, right?”

“The worst she can do is avoid me for the rest of my life because I misread all the signs and she actually hates me.”

“That’s the spirit!” Lewis replied sarcastically, before murmuring a goodbye and leaving the garage.

That was weeks ago now, but the conversation was still stuck in Lewis’ head. He’d been right all along, you did like Mick back.

“Hey Seb, can I talk to you in private really quickly?” He speaks up, making you and the retired driver stop your bantering for a moment.

“You can say it in front of Y/N, it’s fine.” Seb replied. He trusted you completely with anything and everything.

“Well not if it’s about her.”

“Hey!” you complain. “Are you openly gossiping about me?”

“Listen, if you want our help, then let us huddle for a minute.”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh and nod at them. You really really liked Mick, but you were too much of a pussy to do anything about it. So if these two old twats could help you, then so be it.

Lewis pulls Seb to the side for a moment, inhaling deeply before talking softly so you couldn’t hear. “Okay, so here’s the thing. Mick told me he likes Y/N.”

Sebastian whips his head to face Lewis, “Holy shit, I knew it. I knew he wasn’t going out with us all the time last year for no reason.”

“Yeah, he’s not so discreet. Here’s the problem though, he firmly believes Y/N may hate him, and you know that Y/N believes Mick only likes her as a friend.”

“So what you’re saying is they’re both hopeless?”

“Without our help, basically yes.”

“God I can’t believe they haven’t caught a clue,” Sebastian sighs. “I even excused myself from multiple meals so I could leave the two of them alone even for a few minutes.”

“You’re telling me mate, I basically had to shove Mick towards her whenever she was at the garage or in hospitality.”

Meanwhile, while the two men were devising on their own, you were getting antsy. What could they possibly be coming up with? You didn’t really want to think about it too much, so you decided to take a walk around the track. After all, the event was about to start, so you might as well familiarize yourself with your surroundings.

You went through the unpainted bee hotels, admiring their woodwork and the effort it must’ve taken to make them. Sebastian had sent you a text at three in the morning yesterday saying “Finished! :-)” with a picture of the bee hotels attached, so you knew he put hard work into this project. You were happy that he was doing something he loved while retired, but at the same time you missed him terribly on the grid. It was lonely, you will admit, without him by your side. Sure you had your teammate Charles and the support of your fellow drivers, but it never felt like anyone truly knew you on the track besides Seb.

Stuck in your thoughts, you failed to notice the man who was walking up behind you mustering the courage to strike a conversation. You turn around to check out another bee hotel when you bump straight into Mick walking up to you.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

“Ow—” you hold your head in pain, which you bumped into the bee hotel roof when you recoiled backwards from the hit. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

Great, Mick thought. Now what?

You’ve made a fool of yourself, congratulations, you thought.

Sebastian was about to walk over to see what all the commotion was about, when Lewis put a hand out and stopped him. “Look who bumped into her.”

Sebastian squinted a little— his eyesight had gotten worse but he refused to get glasses— and grins when he realizes who it is. “Best leave them to it then, I have an event to organize anyways.”

Meanwhile, Mick had no clue what to do. You were holding your head in pain, with your eyes closed trying to regain stability from the dizziness, and he was just standing there awkwardly trying to figure out what the right move was. Should he ask you again if you were alright? Should he hold you to stabilize you?

Well, why not both. Without thinking, he holds your shoulders, crouching down a little to look you in your eye, and asking a simple “You okay?”

You open your eyes, squinting because of the sun, and are met with a set of beautiful blue ones staring at you. Holy fucking shit. Now you don't know what to do.

“Uh— yeah, just hit my head. No biggie honestly, all good here,” you reply awkwardly. God, was it this hard to talk to him when Sebastian was around?

Mick lets go of your shoulders— you miss his touch already— and straightens up, nodding. “Good. Sorry for hitting you, I thought you heard me walking up.”

“No, it’s my fault honestly. Was stuck in my own thoughts. Nice that you pulled me out,” you joked, praying to whatever higher power was listening that it stuck.

Thankfully it did, and Mick let out a small giggle at your quip. It was enough for your stomach to do flips. And even though you had no clue, you joking around with him made his stomach do the same thing too. The simple interaction was enough to make him think that maybe you weren’t just hanging around with him before because you pitied him.

“You know,” Mick starts, before he loses confidence to breach the topic. He was here anyway, so might as well. “You’re always at the Mercedes garage but I never see you. I am sorry about that.”

You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. Why was he sorry? You were the one who avoided him out of nervousness whenever you were there.

“You don’t have to be sorry about that, honestly, that’s my fault anyway. Same with our lunches before, I’m sorry we did those less and less. I guess I got too caught up in the races. We should have another one here in Japan!” You add the last part haphazardly, not really thinking about what you’re saying because if you do you’ll lose confidence.

It was too late when you realized what you said, and terrified to see Mick’s reaction to the invitation, you stare at anything but him. Wow, the sky was blue today. How interesting.

Mick, on the other hand, was frozen on the spot. Did he hear that correctly? Were you inviting him to lunch for the first time in months?

Before the reserve driver could get his hopes up, however, he realized what was different this time. Sebastian was around.

Oh. Maybe that was the only reason you invited him this time around. Because, again, like before, you felt sorry for him being alone and you had the confidence to ask him because Sebastian was here.

“Would…Sebastian be coming?” He asked. He wasn’t a religious man by any means, but he begged God at that moment you would say no. He had nothing against the retired driver of course, he was like an uncle to him, but it would determine— for him at least— if you were going out with him out of pity or because you actually wanted to.

You, on the other hand, had a completely different interpretation of that question.

Did Mick not want to have lunch with you without Sebastian because he didn’t want to spend time with you? Did he feel like you were too awkward? Too weird? You stopped yourself before you could spiral even more.

“I mean, do you want him to?”

“Honestly? No.” Mick hears himself say without thinking. His eyes widened a bit at the fact that he said that aloud, making you giggle. It lifts the tension a bit and the air feels freer talking to him.

“Tsk tsk, I’ll make sure to tell him that.”

“Please don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it. I just meant—” Mick pauses for a second, finding it difficult to word his thoughts.

Oh fuck it. Fuck it all. “I want it to be you, just you.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Oh.” Before Mick can regret saying anything and repeatedly apologize for the implications of what he said, you tug on his shirt a little to get him to look at you. “Me too.”

He lets out a sigh of relief, laughing a bit at himself. “Thank god, I thought I made the wrong move there.”

“God no,” you laugh out. “I’m glad you said that honestly, I thought you just hung out with me before for Sebastian.”

Mick raised his eyebrows in confusion. Was that what you’d been thinking this whole time? “I thought you were just hanging out with me because you felt bad I was alone without Seb.”

This time you both look at each other, confused. You had both gotten it completely wrong.

The absurdity of it all makes you burst out laughing, and you try to cover it up with your hand but to no avail. “I’m sorry I just— ha!— I can’t believe I’ve been reading it wrong this whole time! I even avoided you in the garages because I thought you felt awkward around me.”

“I hid whenever you were at the garage because I thought you didn’t wanna talk to me,” Mick replied bashfully, scratching the back of his neck. “In hindsight, that was pretty stupid, I suppose I wouldn’t ever know if you liked talking to me or not if I kept avoiding you.”

“Hold on, is that why Lewis always asked for extra food when I came around?”

“Yeah,” he answered, feeling embarrassed. It all felt so foolish now.

“That was stupid,” you tease. “So…what now?”

“I suppose we can just,” Mick gestures aimlessly with his hands. “Restart.”

You smile at him, liking the simplicity of the idea. After dancing around each other for a year, this is exactly what you wanted. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“What you were saying earlier, lunch? I know a good place. It’s pretty far from the track, but they have the best ramen and— hello Seb…?”

Unbeknownst to you, Sebastian had slowly inched himself closer to where you two were standing, trying to overhear your conversation. He was now stood a few meters away from you, pretending to be taking care of his bee hotel.

“You sneaky bastard!” you exclaim, slapping him on his shoulder for the second time that day. “How long have you been eavesdropping on our conversation?”

“I just got here!” Sebastian replied, trying to defend himself. He’d actually been standing there for a couple minutes, but if none of you had noticed, then it was better for him to not bring it up. “Anyway, I came to say we’re starting the event. Charles is looking for you at the Ferrari station, Y/N.”

Sebastian moves to leave, but turns back around, standing beside you. “And Mick, if it’s no bother, you could come with me and Y/N to Disneyland on Tuesday. Only if you’d like, of course.”

“We’re going to Disneyland?” You ask, but a quick glance at Sebastian's expression and you realize what he was trying to do. “Oh! Yeah, we totally planned on going to Disneyland. You should come with us.”

“Yeah! Sure, I have nothing to do anyways. And lunch on Monday, Y/N?” Mick replies. You give him a soft smile and nod in response.

Seb looks at you in confusion, “Am I part of these lunch plans?”

“No.”

“Great to know. Anyways, to the Ferrari station liebe, chop chop,” Seb retorts, putting his arm around you to pull you towards the station. As much as he wanted you and Mick to talk more, he also wanted his event to get going.

“Talk later!” you shout, being practically dragged by Sebastian. Mick laughs at the sight, waving a goodbye to you and the retired driver. He felt like he won the lottery. You might not like him the way he liked you, but this was a start. This meant that you hung around him for him.

“Was the plan you and Lewis came up with simply inviting Mick to go to Disneyland?” You ask, the second you were far away enough from Mick.

Sebastian shrugs, “Yeah, basically.”

“Oh you pricks. Thank God I didn’t rely on you two then.”

“Hey! We tried,” Seb remarked. “But we saw you two getting along without our help so we decided to leave you two to it. What did you even talk about?”

“Our shared hatred for you,” you replied with no hesitation. You look over at Sebastian with a grin, watching him roll his eyes, smiling.

“Well if that’s what it took for you two to talk, then I’d happily be the butt of your conversations.”

God. Why did he have to be so nice about it? “I’m just kidding Seb, we just cleared up some misunderstandings. Honestly we should’ve talked sooner, it was such a relief to find out I’d just been overthinking our interactions.”

“Like you do with half of all things, schatz,” Sebastian says softly, smiling at you. He was right, you did overthink too much.

“I know,” you sigh. “I’m trying to change.”

“That’s great, but you know what you should try first before that?” Seb asks with a playful look on his face. He comes to a stop in front of a bee hotel and grabs a paintbrush from beside it, putting it in your hands. “You should try participating in the event.”

“Cheeky bastard,” you mutter, grinning. You didn’t even notice you had walked all the way to the Ferrari station until then. You greet Charles, who was already there, before facing Sebastian again. “Still can’t believe you and Lewis’ plan was just Disneyland. Remind me to never trust you ever again.”

“Love you too,” Seb retorts sarcastically, grinning as he walks away to assist the other drivers. You shake your head with a smile, before facing the bee hotel again. Cheeky bastard.

Sebastian and Lewis had planned more than just Disneyland of course, they weren’t stupid. But the first phase of their plan was complete. Sebastian smiled to himself as he watched Mick talking to Lewis at the Mercedes station, ready to operate the second part of their ‘genius’ plan.

It was going to be a long, interesting week for all of them.

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

Hii,so could i request headcannons with hualian xgn!reader that is usually very silly and does the most random things on accident and are quite clumsy,for example they somehow manage to trip over literal air,or manages to screw up some things accidentally(not too major but big enough to make someone go like"how do you even mamage to do that?")

Clumsy

Hua Cheng x gn!reader x Xie Lian

IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG 🙏🙏🙏😔

Ignore grammar mistakes

Slight OOC

Short. 😬

____________________________________

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng love you very much but. . . How are you even alive?

It's giving the one meme where you're standing behind a wall of flames and you're just " everything is fine"

You happen to be clumsy, some people would ever describe you as ditzy.

It's not like it's on purpose, maybe you were born with two left feet?

You knock over a lot of things by accident. Vases, glasses, pictures, people.

That's how Xie Lian and Hua Cheng know where you are in their home.

It's like dealing with a cat!

Hua Cheng has safety proofed the house for you

Any sharp edges have been rounded out, vases made out of hard material or in hard to reach places.

They don't want you to break anything and get hurt.

It's actually crazy how many bruises you have from falling or knocking a hip into the counter.

Xie Lian always patches you up though

Hua Cheng likes to beef with whatever "hurt" you.

He'll argue with walls, and vases on your behalf.

Beats them up, has gotten rid of things because they "hurt" you

You tend to fall a lot

There's nothing wrong with your legs you're just clumsy!

Tripping over air, and over your own two feet

You spend a lot of time in Xie Lian's and Hua Cheng's arms because they'd rather carry you then you fall and get stepped on.

If Xie Lian has bad luck you have worse luck.

They left you in the gambling den alone once, hoping you would be safe enough there

They came back to you on the floor wrapped in the red drapes, that are supposed to be hanging from the ceiling.

How did you even manage to get them down? How did they get wrapped around you

They only sigh and help you out of your mess.

So Xie Lian and Hua Cheng always have an eye on you.

No matter how clumsy you are they love you though!

[hyewka]

STRICTLY PLATONIC [teaser] | choi beomgyu

SUMMARY. fucking your best friend was supposed to be a one time thing in the hopes of relinquishing feelings for your ex, but a one time turned into a weekly and cuddles after sex are way too intimate for your liking. but beomgyu insists that he’d never catch feelings for you, that he’s experienced in these types of arrangements. he still saw you as his best friend! it was totally only platonic for you too… right?

GENRE. smut, fluff, angst, college au, a hyewka fic with plot and structure.. sort of

TEASER WARNINGS. nothing explicit just some marking lol

AUTHOR NOTE. the dream fwb fic ive been wanting to write for ages so thank you to the ask i recently replied to as it was the main motivator for this 😭 this is going to be a long one so we're going the traditional route with a teaser, im opening a tag list so if you wish to be added send an ask or comment!

You’ve never seen Choi Beomgyu in a different light. That’s what you liked about him, that everything was so… constant. Your life could crash and burn but hey, Beomgyu was still Beomgyu— your friendship was a variable in your life that stayed undeniably the exact same.

You know, until you allowed him to fuck your brains out.

Even the sole fact that you have given the thought of Beomgyu being a ‘sex symbol’ has you quivering out of sheer horror— Beomgyu… has never been a sex symbol. Sure, he fucked around, and has a reputation and yeah sure, he was crazy hot when he isn’t showing signs of extreme sleep deprivation …but you’ve just never seen him in that light.

And to have let it simmer in your thoughts for longer than a second, makes you just a tinge hesitant in letting the silly goof pull you into the dancing crowd. You whine, “I’m tired Beomgyu! My heels are killing me.”

He either doesn’t hear over the blasting music or isn’t going to give it up because he pulls you in anyway, crashing your head right into his chest and you let out an instinctual ouch at the hard surface. Your eyes are wide looking up at him, sputtering out an unbelievable sentence. “Have you—have you been working out?”

His grin widens, holding up your arm to guide at feeling out his biceps. “Every now and then.” He doesn’t mind the minute it takes you to actually feel every muscle through his shirt, in fact he’s relishing in your sudden pique of interest in his body.

Whether he’s flexing them or not doesn’t show in his face—he looks completely relaxed and you finally admit—Beomgyu is getting toned.

“Why? You hate working out.” You could barely muffle those words with the way he had you engulfed in his arms, leaning his head in your neck, swaying side to side as if the song blasting was off of Taylor Swift’s Lover and not a Lil Wayne remix.

And he hasn’t even gotten a drop of alcohol yet.

But it’s true, Beomgyu hated the gym. Like, even more than you did. Which is a testament in and of itself.

He pulls away from the crook of your neck, a pout on his lips. “Didn’t you say your type was muscular men? At Halloween weekend?”

Halloween weekend was a year ago, the first frat party you managed to get into with the help of Beomgyu’s friend, Jake. You barely remember anything from it. Other than the occasional retells of the nights by Yunjin’s words, which are always a different version of the same story... so a not very credible source. “I mean, I guess they are. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“I don’t know, just saying. Jaehyun was suuper muscly.” Okay, the random mention of your ex…maybe he had some drop of alcohol.

“Are you drunk?”

“You took too long to come back, lost at beer pong.”

“How many shots?” you interrogate.

“Two.” At your suspecting glare, he continues on, “Four…five…like, at most seven.”

Your eyes bulge out, huffing out a scoff. You guys always got wasted together! Noticing the furrow of your brows he holds you tighter whining, “I know I know, sorry, I tried telling Heeseung but he’s a savage cruel man, I was practically force fed that cup.”

You don’t doubt that he attempted to persuade Heeseung but you do doubt the force feeding, it only takes a couple nudges before getting Beomgyu to drink. “I’m just slightly tipsy, not drunk yet anyway. I pledged to never ever get trashed without you. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

You slap away the hand he puts up over his chest, incredulously, losing your control over the fits of giggles when he takes your flying hand in his, taking advantage by intertwining your fingers together. “What are you doing?” your cheeks probably hurt from all the smiling, you don’t know, you think your nerves are numb.

“Can’t a guy hold his twin flame, platonic best friend’s hand?”

Skinship was not an unfamiliar with Beomgyu—he was always a naturally clingy guy. You figured when the first ever official lunch hangout you’ve had with the boy and a few of your other friends, had included a lot of random footsie.

You didn’t even know him that well in high school. Who plays footsie with an acquaintance? Choi Beomgyu, that’s who. Yet even after some reluctance that day, you end up letting him have his childish, sort of endearing fun.

Though this was all but childish, the innocently mischievous twinkle of a scrawny teenage boy had been long gone, instead replaced by the most attractive man’s hungry, lust filled gaze. “Who told you to look so sexy today?”

The theme was Angel & Devil—to match with Beomgyu, you insisted on giving him the angel outfit, and you the costume of a devil. Matching was always the fun part of these parties. “Only today?” you drawl, making an exaggerated sultry trail with your finger on his chest.

“God, shut up, you know you’re always hot,” You don’t expect the seriousness of his tone, especially when you were just teasing, but he snakes his hand around your waist, pushing you further into his body, your tits suffocatingly pressed against his chest.

You do not expect the slight squeeze to your ass, your eyes shooting particularly wide, blood rushing up to trickle your cheeks. “But I like it when you’re a little devil, makes you so sexy and alluring.”

His face buried into your neck again, this time not missing the chance of taking a deep inhale. Beomgyu could stay like this forever, filling his lungs with you, and only you. “Still can’t believe I had my hands off you for so long little devil.” Your eyes flutter shut, taking quick breaths as he moves his soft lips to your neck, wet kisses with a slip of teeth nibbling just slightly to tease, planning on coloring you with all the pretty purple hues.

And you’re sure he was well on his way until you sober up at the abrupt change in the DJ’s track.

“Beomgyu, not—not now, we’re in public.” And surrounded by tons of people that you’re either friends with or know. That broke one of the most important pillars of your agreement—to keep the fuck buddies ‘thing’ a secret.

You don’t expect the speed of his instant pull away when processing your words, blinking his pretty lashes and the tipsiness away—his doe eyes are too much of a weakness, the little furrow of his brows something you desperately want to kiss and smoothen out. “Oh. Oh yeah. Sorry.” he scratches the back of his neck, genuinely apologetic.

And eats away at you. You know Beomgyu well—he hates keeping things secret, he’s the type of person to flaunt relationships all over his feed in that lovesick puppy way that most women could only dream of having—but you weren’t dating. And that was the boundary set.

You didn’t ask him to pull away completely though, but here you were, awkwardly as distanced as you could be in the middle of a rager with sweaty college students rubbing their bodies against each other. As gross as that was, you zero’d in on something less of a given: the fact that you’ve never felt this way with Beomgyu. Ever. It was like you were starring in the most awkward coming of age indie movie, y’know, without the crazy scenery and cinematography.

And more often than not, you find that these occurance of realisations, become more and more frequent. You feel things you’ve never felt a certain way with Beomgyu. Which only brought you to realize something else; Beomgyu was now a changing variable in your life and you’re not entirely sure how to handle that.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

"are you longing, is it Killing Time?"

"if i’m honest, think i want it. no more talking, no more nonsense."

synopsis// you work at a ballet studio and suna works at the karate dojo next door.

pairing// rintaro suna x gn!reader

word count// 3.9k

contents// ooc suna? idk he's like kinda smug in this... ive never written for him before so heed my warning. slight enemies to lovers but like kinda not really. osamu's obligatory accent. plot kinda speaks for itself i have no other warnings besides the fact that this kinda (majorly) sucks...

requested// by an anon!! im SO sorry this took me so long to write!!

notes// i know i said id never write for haikyuu again but i lied ok? take it. do what you will with this. sorry if this is all over the place... i feel very out of my element writing for haikyuu again LMFAO. also if anything mentioned about karate or ballet is wrong sorry!! i took ballet ONCE and taken karate never xoxo tbh i think the plot probably wouldve worked better as an smau but im not doin all that (respectfully.) anywho this was also inspired by killing time by movements (TOOOO GOOODDDDD)

Classical music and the whispers of the kids eight-counting their steps echo throughout the room. Everything is peaceful and as it should be... That is, until the mirror walls begin to vibrate violently from the sudden blaring of music from the studio next to yours. All the kids turn to look at you, confused about what’s happening, and you flash them a small apologetic smile.

“You guys keep practicing, okay? I'm gonna go next door and ask them to turn it down.” 

Satisfied with your guidance, they nod, and you quickly walk out. Though not comfortable leaving a bunch of children unsupervised, you leave your studio door open to make sure that you’re still able to hear them from outside. You sigh before walking into the next studio; frankly, you had gotten this far without having to interact with anyone else, and you just wished it would stay that way. Neither the kids nor their instructor seem to notice your presence. And even though you clear your throat, no one hears you.

“Excuse me!” 

Suddenly all heads are turning toward you, and you reflexively dig your feet into the floor to stop yourself from running back out. Their instructor waves the kids off, having them go back to practicing whatever karate move he had just taught them before walking up to you.

"Can I help you?” he says, his eyes boring into yours.

And suddenly. Suddenly, you hate him. Or, at the very least, strongly dislike him. He blasts his music, knowing damn well the walls are thin, and then has the audacity to give you attitude?

“Are you gonna say something, or are you just gonna stand there all day?” He stops and briefly looks you up and down, a small smirk playing on his face. "Actually, I wouldn’t mind that.”

Your jaw clenches, giving him the nicest smile you very well could muster. “Can you turn down your music? It’s distracting my kids.”

He hums and appears to consider it for a moment, and you're almost grateful—almost, because then he has to open his stupid mouth again.

“Maybe if you say please.”

Your eye twitches. "Okay, you know what? Nevermind." You glance over at his students briefly, making sure they aren't looking at the two of you, and when you confirm that they aren't, you flip him off, and all he does is laugh. You groan, and if you could slam his studio door shut without the glass shattering, you would.

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

To no one’s surprise, he didn't stop playing his music at full volume—he claimed it pumped the kids up, and sure, maybe it did, but all it did was distract your own. And eventually, you two somehow fell into a game of who could play whose music louder. Considering your music consisted of different ballet numbers, it's safe to say he always won.

Week after week, you'd show up in his studio and ask him to just turn his music off, to lower the volume, to do something other than drive you crazy, but all he'd do was poorly flirt and smirk, his eyes always on you one way or another, and if you weren't so annoyed by him, you’re sure you would have found him captivating. It's not surprising when one day he’s the one showing up at your studio—you're actually excited about it, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he’s finally given up and is here to apologize. When you approach him and find all his students outside behind him, you quickly realize that's not the case. You glance between him and the kids.

“You guys go in and make friends, yeah?” You say as you move out the way to allow his students into your studio. You wait until they're all inside before stepping out and closing the door behind you. You whisper harshly, “What the fuck do you want?”

"Wow, you use that kind of language around your students?” He asks, his smirk all too evident on his face as he crosses his arms.

You stare at him blankly, no amusement etched on any of your features, and he awkwardly clears his throat.

“Our studio flooded.”

“Okay… What does that have to do with me?"

His shoulders slump as he groans. "Oh, c’mon.”

“How am I supposed to know what you want if you won't use your words like a big boy?” you ask, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

He glares at you, and for once, it seems like you're the one getting under his skin. “Fuck you.”

You mockingly tut and shake your head. "Wow, you use that kind of language around your kids?”

He stands there and kicks at the sidewalk, clearly having some internal debate you don’t care enough to ask about, but he tells you anyway.

“Would you… be willing to share your studio with us until they fix our studio?”

Without missing a beat, you laugh. “Yeah no. I don't even know your name... What if you're some serial killer?”

“First of all, it's Rintaro Suna. Second of all, do you really think they would hire me to work around kids if I was a serial killer?”

You shrug. You don’t care about the logistics; you just don’t want him in your studio.

“And third of all, seriously?” He crosses his arms, and his tone is full of the kind of disappointment you'd only find in a friend who’s been betrayed—not in between two strangers who’ve done nothing but “fight” about music for weeks on end.

“Yes seriously. Can’t you find a new studio?”

“Owner says it’s more expensive to do that than fix whatever got fucked up.”

“Then find someone else to share with,” you say as you turn to walk back into your studio.

Suna grabs your wrist, and as you look over your shoulder at him, he pouts. "Are you really gonna take this out on the kids just because you hate me?”

You stare at him blankly, but the more you think about it and let what he’s said sink in, the softer your face becomes, and suddenly your conviction is nowhere to be found—just another leaf blown away in the wind. “How did your studio flood?”

Happy with how you don’t seem like you're about to escape off into your studio anymore, Suna lets go of your wrist and starts explaining, “Well, one kid clogged the toilet and the other left the sink running.”

“Deserved,” you say through a snort.

“Whatever. Are you gonna share or not?”

“Fine,” you sigh. "But I swear to god, Suna, the second you piss me off or don’t listen, I'm kicking your ass out. This is still my studio.”

"Technically, it’s not even yours.”

You stare at him blankly, eyes narrowed, and Suna can immediately tell you’re already thinking about taking back your offer of letting him stay in your studio.

He coughs awkwardly. "I'll shut up now.” 

“Good choice.”

A beat passes between the two of you just staring at each other, and when Suna realizes you won't say anything more, he takes the initiative.

Tilting his head at you, he asks, "So, are you gonna tell me your name now?”

You continue staring at him blankly.

"Oh, cmon, we’re gonna be sharing a studio now.”

“It's Y/n L/n.”

"Well, Y/n,” he says, somewhat dragging out your name before teasing, "I always knew you had a soft spot for me.”

"I have a soft spot for the kids, not you,” you correct him, crossing your arms.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he says, brushing your shoulder with his as he walks past you and into your studio.

“Don’t just walk into my studio like you own it?!" you call out, following after him.

“Not your studio, and you don’t own it either.”

“You know what I mean, Suna!”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

It's almost scary how easily Suna and his students fit into your class. It didn’t even take a week for you to feel like having him in your studio was natural—how it should have always been. You hated how any ill-will you had toward him would suddenly vanish into thin air whenever you saw him interact with his or your students. You grew accustomed to your new routine with him.

Every other day, he could play his music and even teach some of your students some karate if they so desired, and vice versa. He’d bring you breakfast, and you'd bring him lunch, and sometimes the two of you would even go have dinner once all your students had left. You hated how he just wiggled his way into your life. You’re supposed to hate him—he used to play his music as loud as he could just to piss you off, and now you have dinner with him practically every day.

You’ve grown so fond of him that now, two months later, about to be three, you've completely forgotten why he’s here in the first place—that his residence in your studio is only temporary, and he’s just here till his studio is fixed. You’ve forgotten all about it because now you look forward to seeing him and actually want to see him more than you've ever wanted anything else before. and he feels the exact same because here he is, slumped in a chair in the back of the room, frowing as he watches his and your students combined because you’re not here.

The door swings open, and Suna can't help but let out a sigh of relief, practically jumping out of his seat, ready to go run and spin you in his arms like some shitty rom-com, only to find that it wasn't you who walked in; nope, it was just his friend. Suna’s face falls as he drops back into his chair with a groan.

“Okay, lovely to see ya too,” Osamu snorts as he walks over to Suna, taking the seat next to him.

He weakly tries pushing Osamu out of the chair, mumbling, “That’s Y/n’s seat.”

"Well, they aren't here, are they?”

Suna scowls at him but gives up trying to push him out nonetheless.

“Where are they anyway?”

“Running late, I guess.”

Osamu hums in response, and a comfortable silence falls over them. The only noise in the room was the kids whispering their next move to themselves or helping their friend with something. Suna watches them intently, with the care and attention of someone handling glass, and quickly finds a few students who need help.

"Hey, keep your leg straight when you kick,” he calls out to one of his students before turning to one of yours, “And you bend your knees more when you do your... uh-“ 

"Plié," the child supplies for him.

Suna nods. "Yeah, that whatever.”

Osamu doesn't know whether he should laugh at or side-eye Suna. “Do ya not know their names?”

"I don’t get paid enough to know their names.”

He shakes his head, deciding that commenting on that is not worth his time, and instead goes to why he came here in the first place. "I'm surprised yer still here, to be honest.”

"A job is a job.”

"No, I mean in this studio. I figured the repairs in yer’s would be finished by now; it’s been like, what? almost three months?”

Suna mumbles a slow, drawn-out, “…yeah.”

Osamu sits up straight, shifting in his seat to face Suna entirely. “What the fuck was that?”

“Don’t cuss in front of the kids; what’s wrong with you?" He reprimands, slapping Osamu’s arm.

“Don’t change the subject.”

"I'm not; I'm just saying.”

Osamu rolls his eyes. "Okay, well, start by saying what’s up with the repairs.”

He does not. “Y/n will be back soon; you should leave.”

“Suna,” Osamu monotones.

"If I tell you, will you leave?”

“What did ya do, Suna?”

Suna looks away as he embarrassedly mumbles, “The repairs could’ve been done a long, long time ago…”

“What?!” Osamu practically shrieks as he sits up straight. “What do ya mean?!”

Suna glares at Osamu before looking toward the kids, whose attentions were caught by Osamu yelling and waving them off. “Ignore him.”

“Oh my god, have ya been stalling the repairs?” He asks, this time quietly. “Why would ya do that?”

“Why do you think, Osamu?”

Suna’s attitude does nothing to deter Osamu, not when he’s just had the realization of a lifetime. “Oh my god... Oh my god! Ya have a crush on Y/n, don't ya?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Suna hisses through clenched teeth, his eyes wide and threateningly boring into his.

“What happened to not cussing in front of the kids?”

Suna stares at him blankly, and Osamu merely sighs, slumping back into his seat.

"I can't believe this. I don't know if this is pathetic or cute—kinda both, to be honest.”

"Osamu, I swear-“

With neither of them having heard the studio door swing open, you unknowingly interrupt his threat: "Hey! Sorry, traffic was horrible—oh, who’s this?"

“Doesn't matter; he was just about to leave,” Suna says without missing a beat while standing straight up.

"I'm Osamu,” he says, suddenly approaching you. “And yer the infamous Y/n, I'm assuming?”

“Infamous..?” you question under your breath before shaking your head and deciding to ignore it. “Uh yeah—are you friends with Suna?”

“No.”

“Yes,” Osamu answers, ignoring Suna’s response. "I should get going, though. Nice meeting ya, Y/n!”

“Yeah, you too…”

Osamu waves you goodbye before winking at Suna and disappearing out the door.

You hum. “So what was that about?”

“No idea,” Suna shrugs as he walks away to gather his students.

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Suna has been weird ever since a week ago, when you walked into the studio to Suna and his friend. He’s avoided you as best as he can, and even when he’s not actively trying to somehow get away from you, he still feels Pluto far from his more than dry replies. And frankly, you’ve had enough. You’re driving yourself crazy trying to figure out what you’ve done wrong and how to fix it—you can’t know unless he tells you.

Which is why, when both of your students left, you borderline kidnapped him. You grabbed him by his arm and dragged him into your car, driving the two of you to a restaurant, where you now sit in an awkward silence waiting for your food. But this is good, right? If he truly didn’t want to be in this position with you right now, you’re more than certain he could’ve put up a winning fight, yet he didn't, so that’s good. This is good.

"Did I do something?”

“Yeah,” he replies without missing a beat or looking up at you.

“Huh?” Your heart is in your throat as you blink at him. “What did I do?”

“Exist.”

“What?” You shake your head in disbelief. "I thought we were getting along."

“We are—god.” As he finally looks up at you, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. You almost feel like you're back in his studio for the very first time with the way his eyes are boring into yours. “We get along too well, jesus christ, Y/n, you drive me crazy.”

“And you don’t drive me crazy?” you ask, giving him a crooked smile.

“You don't know what you’re saying,” he says flatly, yet the way it’s almost breathless has you thinking maybe he actually wants you to know what you’re saying—to know all of the implications that come with it and fully embrace them.

“Does it matter? Just stop ignoring me, Suna; I hate it.”

"I hate it too.”

“So then why are you doing it, idiot?”

“Because Y/n, I-“

You stare at him expectantly, patiently waiting for his answer.

"I get too distracted with you; I need to teach my students," he mumbles the rest of his sentence as he looks away from you, your scrutinizing gaze sending shivers down his spine and crushing any idea he had to say something else—say the truth—well, the whole truth, because you very well do distract Suna far too much for his liking.

“That sounds like a shitty excuse.”

Suna hums, and when he makes no move to explain himself, you wonder, “Why do I distract you so much?”

“Why do you care if I ignore you so much?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t act childish, Suna.”

Suna merely raises an eyebrow at you, still waiting for your answer, just like you were waiting for his only a few moments ago.

You sigh. "I'm not sure.”

"Well, I am, so I won’t say anything until you're sure too.”

“That’s not fair, Sunaaaa,” you whine, sliding down your seat like a petulant child.

He shrugs, a slight smirk on his face. "I'm more than happy to wait.”

"Whatever, just stop ignoring me?”

"Yeah, I'll stop,” he says, nodding. “Sorry bout that.”

"S'fine." You wave him off before remembering something that makes you sit up straight again. "Oh, also, I've been meaning to ask about how your studio is going?”

Suna’s mood and face drop so fast that it’s as if he was never even happy or smiling in the first place—the temperature of the room suddenly icy cold. “Oh.”

"I'm not trying to kick you out, Suna,” you immediately add, reassuring him that, as of now, that's the last thing you’d ever want to do. "I actually like you in my studio... like a lot, I guess, and I don't know, to be honest, I'm scared I'm getting too used to you being there."

"Well, I'm already used to it, so either way, we’re both kinda fucked in that department.”

You can't help but smile so wide it hurts your cheeks, absolutely over the moon that he feels the exact same way. That he’s grown so used to you, like the two of you should have never been apart in the first place, and it was always only a matter of time before you found your way to each other.

"I'm not sure, though. I haven’t heard much,” he continues, interrupting your inner swooning.

"Okay, well, that’s good then,” you say, nodding more to yourself than to him. “No need to get rid of you so soon; who else will annoy me?”

"Weren't you just begging me to stop ignoring you, and now I'm annoying?” he taunts.

You cross your arms, glaring at him. "I was not begging Rintaro Suna.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Shut up," you say through a smile, no hostility anywhere in you. “Oh also! The kids wanted me to tell you about our recital coming up.”

“Yeah? When is it?”

“Week from now. They really want you there.”

Suna tilts his head slightly to the side, his eyes narrowing at you in doubt. “Just them?”

“Just them.”

Suna doesn't believe it for a second, and maybe he would’ve if your voice wasn't so shakey and breathless.

You relent; you never had much resolve when it came to him anyway—that's how he ended up in your studio in the first place, isn't it? “And me too, I guess.”

A blush that he makes look all too good covers his cheeks. "I'd love to go, Y/n.”

“Great!”

Suddenly his face drops, and he’s cursing under his breath, "Shit, wait, actually, we have a tournament that day too.”

"Oh, that's fine! I mean, being in the studio with us, it's like you get a free recital every day, right?” You smile, but even then, it's clear as day how disappointed you are.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I can still try to make it.”

“No no! It's fine; you won't miss much. You have your own kids stuff to worry about.”

Suna frowns, wanting nothing more than to wipe that dejected look off your face. “Y/n.”

"Suna, it's fine, really." You weakly try to reassure him, but he’s just not budging.

He shakes his head. "I'll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Okay, I'll hold you to it then.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

The recital came faster than you cared for. You would be excited for this had Suna been able to come, but he couldn't, and now, even though you know he won't be here, you still can't help but peek through the stage curtains, hoping and praying you'll somehow spot him in the crowd. You try to keep your disappointment at bay the whole recital, and surprisingly you do. The recital goes off without a hitch, and the only thing you can wish for is that you were more excited. Your little ones did absolutely amazing and completely blew the crowd away, yet here you are moping around over some dude who, up until a few months ago, you hated.

“They did amazing,” an oddly familiar voice says, breaking you out of your thoughts. "I'm sure it's only because of their teacher... Do you know them? I'm actually looking for them.”

You're flattered, really, but you can't deal with compliments or holding a conversation right now, not when you want to just crawl under your bed covers and never come out. Not to mention that no one else is supposed to be backstage right now. You sigh before turning around to ask them to leave, only to practically jump out of your skin with excitement.

“Suna!” you exclaim happily, running your way toward him and closing some of the gap between you two. “You’re here, but how? Where were you? I looked, and I couldn't find you—wait, I thought? Where's your kids? Shouldn't you be at their tournament?” 

Suna watches you ramble with the softest of faces, huffing a small laugh. He shrugs once you're done. “Samu took over.”

“Rintaro Suna.”

“What? The little shits will get over it… but I don't think you would've if I didn't show up.”

"Well, I would've tried.” You take another step toward him. "Though I can't say you're not a smart man, Rintaro.”

Suna eyes you curiously and follows your movements, taking a step toward you. “So I've been told.”

You roll your eyes, despite an undeniable smile dressing your face, and in some fit of arrogance, you take the last step toward Suna, thus closing any remaining space between the two of you. With your chests touching, there’s nothing left for you to do but wrap your arms around his neck, which you do with ease—as if they were always meant to be there this whole time. He quickly follows your lead, resting his hands on your waist. But his eyebrows are furrowed as if to ask if this is okay, and you nod. This is more than okay—you’d actually prefer more, and it doesn’t seem like he’s getting the hint.

“So are you gonna kiss me, or are you just gonna stand there all day?"

Suna goes wide-eyed, and it takes a minute for his body to catch up with his brain, but before you know it, Suna is practically slamming his face into yours, kissing you like if he doesn't, he’ll die. like you’re the very oxygen Suna has been so desperately searching for all his life—and who's to say he isn't yours as well? Meeting his lips with the same exact urgency, you're sure if anyone else was backstage right now, the two of you would be scolded for years to come. Suna pulls away for air, practically panting; his face is flushed with such a deep red you can still make it out even under the dim lights, and you push strands of his hair out of his face just to revel in his blush some more.

Still struggling to catch his breath, he swallows harshly. “Would it ruin the moment if I told you my studio is finally fixed?”

"Yes, so I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that and keep kissing you instead.”

"Yeah, ok, I like that idea better anyway.”

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[hugshughes]

cardigan J. Drysdale

Jamie Drysdale x fem!reader

synopsis - when you and jamie get married you can’t help but look back on every single memory, good and bad, that led you two to this moment.

wc - 2.5k

contains - honestly mostly fluffy, some angst flashbacks but it’s a cute fic mostly, cursing, shouting, kissing, oh reader has a sister who is her maid of honor, i think that’s it (as always lmk!!)

an - i was about to post this yesterday but i fell asleep sorry lol. i’ve had this practically done for like a week but i kept thinking it wasn’t good enough. im actually really excited for this one! i might’ve not made Jamie and bad as James is but we all know Jamie would never do anything like James so. i love the folklore triangle SO SO MUCH (betty especially my favorite) so this one was so fun to write! i hope you love it!

-

Today was the best day of your life, your wedding day. You married your best friend since 8th grade, Jamie. You were finally Mrs. Drysdale, Jamie had been waiting for this moment since he realized he was going to marry you in his senior year of high school.

The ceremony was absolutely gorgeous, Jamie cried during your first look and then again when you came down the aisle. He looked perfect, a navy blue suit matching the color of the ribbon on your bridesmaid's bouquets. Trevor was tearing up next to his best friend as you came down the aisle, his grey suit matching with the groomsmen.

Now Trevor’s suit jacket is long gone, thrown over his chair as he dances to an old 90s song in the middle of your reception hall. He had created a dance circle and brought most of your guests, even the elderly, into it. That was also where your husband was dragged to at the moment. Now you were sitting at your dinner seat, looking through the gift your sister gave you as she sat next to you.

Your sister had been your best friend since you were born, her being 3 years older than you. Now, she held your hand as you teared up turning the page of the photo book she’d made you.

vintage tee, brand new phone. high heels on cobblestones. when you are young they assume you know nothing.

The first picture there ever was of you and Jamie, sitting next to each other on your parents’ old couch, his arm wrapped cautiously around you at your 14th birthday party, when he was still just your friend boy. He’d gotten you a new shirt. Well, it was not new, but it was a thrifted vintage shirt you’d been looking for for months.

You’d also gotten a new iPhone 7, amazing at the time. It was a phone you texted Jamie on every night before bed, when during the school year you’d have to leave it on the counter of your kitchen till the next morning. It was crazy to think that those 2 little babies were married now.

sequin smile, black lipstick. sensual politics. when you are young they assume you know nothing.

You laughed at a different picture, remembering when you were almost 16, thinking you were hot shit with your dark lipstick at homecoming. Your beautiful boyfriend of over a year with his shining smile wrapped around your side.

You guys had shocked most when at 17 they asked how long you’d been together, and you guys answered with 2+ years. You guys were so young for how long you were committed to each other.

but i knew you, dancin’ in your Levi’s. drunk under a street light, i. i knew you.

You flipped a few pages, seeing a photo of you and Jamie (taken by your sister), slow dancing in the kitchen, him just in his jeans, bare back muscles on display in the photo. Another photo, you and Jamie, holding hands and running down the sidewalk of Anaheim, both quite tipsy as Trevor filmed you two, being the DD. It all was so surreal. You’re married, to Jamie, the boy you’d loved since forever.

hand under my sweatshirt. baby, kiss it better, i. and when i felt like i was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed. you put me on and said i was your favorite.

A picture of the night you and Jamie got back together. You had broken up for all of 2 and a half weeks when you were both 18. After almost 4 years of being together, it was overwhelming to think of him moving to Anaheim, so far from you.

He came to your place the night before he left, pleading with you to just try and make it work. It didn’t take much begging from him, you were always gonna be his. The way he made you feel, was like no other. His most special girl, as Jamie would put it.

The picture was a snap you’d sent to your sister, a selfie of you and Jamie both crying but laughing, with a caption “guess who’s fav couple is #backtogether!!!!” Your sister loved the photo so much, one of her favorites.

a friend to all is a friend to none. chase two girls, lose the one. when you are young they assume you know nothing.

A picture of you two when you were 16, he’d just won a game with his junior team and your moms needed a picture of you two together when he got off the ice. He’s still in all of his gear, you’re in one of his sweatshirts that had his name and number on the chest. His arm is around your waist, you’re both smiling from ear to ear with rosy cheeks. You remember that night, it was your first argument.

There were some girls, presumably player’s sisters, who were waiting around the locker room at the end of the game. Jamie was the first boy to come out of the lockers, and the girls decided to try and sink their teeth into him.

Jamie was trying to get them off of him, all he wanted was to see you. When you finally came over to the locker rooms, all you saw was Jamie with his back to you, and two girls rubbing his arms with big smiles on their faces, telling him how amazing he played.

If Jamie’s back hadn’t been turned from you, you would’ve seen his uncomfortable and upset face, and him telling them to get off of him. But you didn’t see that, what you did see broke your little 16-year-old heart.

You knew in the back of your head you probably should’ve waited to see what his reaction was but you couldn’t fight the ache in your chest when you saw it. You practically ran out to the car, texting your mom that you didn’t feel well and wanted to go home before your planned dinner with the Drysdale’s.

You got a few questions from your parents, but you just told them you felt sick. And you did, to be fair, just not in the way they assumed. Jamie texted, his parents told him how you felt sick and he was concerned. Your answers to his texts concerned him more though, you were being vague, a little mean, even. You’d avoided Jamie for almost a week before he came over when he knew you’d be home and questioned you.

His first thought was that you were really sick, but he also knew how you got when you were sick. If you were sick you always wanted Jamie however you could have him, in person, over text, on Facetime, anything. He knew it was something else. His suspicions were proven correct when he barged into your room, and you were lying on your bed texting, perfectly well.

He argued with you a little bit, just upset that you were telling him you were sick to not see him. He was almost embarrassed about it. When the truth finally came out, Jamie immediately softened, feeling bad that you thought he would give any girl other than you the time of day. When he told you what really happened, you felt so stupid. You apologized over and over. Jamie assured you he understood, but asked you to please tell him if something was ever bothering you.

but i knew you. playing hide-and-seek and giving me your weekends, i i knew you, heartbeat on the high line once in twenty lifetimes, i. and when i felt like i was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed. you put me on and said i was your favorite.

You were Jamie’s sanctuary, his place of peace when his world was upside down. Because of how long you’d known each other, you both could be kids again while together. Your moms bet that you would get married the minute they both found out you were dating. At 14, they both knew that you two were forever. They could see the soulmate connection you two have.

You made each other feel new, while also reminding each other of the good in the past. You came to every Otters game, then when he was drafted almost every Ducks game. Your parents weren’t skeptical even for a second when you said you were going to move to Anaheim and go to school there. They knew Jamie had you, and that you were in good hands.

to kiss in cars and downtown bars, was all we needed. you drew stars around my scars, but now i’m bleedin’.

Jamie had been there through everything. Every panic attack, every bad day, every fight with your parents. He was always there to hold you and whisper sweet nothings to you. He never expected anything from you except for your love, and that wasn’t a hard ask.

Jamie was the most loving and lovable person in the world. He knew what to say and when to say it. He was always able to make everything better, he was everything everywhere all the time.

cause i knew you, steppin’ on the last train. marked me like a bloodstain, i. i knew you. tried to change to the ending, Peter losing Wendy, i. i knew you. leavin’ like a father, runnng like water, i. and when you are young they assume you know nothing.

During those few months when you couldn’t tell what the future of your relationship looked like you were so scared. Pretty much everything you’d done in the past year or so had been for Jamie. Finding a school near Anaheim, moving across the country to Anaheim, trying to be the most supportive girlfriend you could.

Jamie was unlike himself for those months. You were scared the NHL would have forever changed the boy you fell in love with. He was just, different. You couldn’t tell if he was just getting older or if he felt like he had to act older to be respected in the league.

The night Jamie found you broken down is the night he realized he had almost ruined the one consistently good thing he had. He has apologized for weeks after, he felt so terrible and it made you feel even worse, seeing him tearing himself up over something you were past.

but i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss. i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs. the smell of smoke would hang around this long, ‘cause i knew everything when i was young. i knew i’d curse you for the longest time. chasin’ shadows in the grocery line. i knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired, and you’d be standin’ in my front porch light.

You knew no matter what happened to your relationship he would always be “the 1”. He had been your everything since you were 14 years old, there was no way you could ever get over him.

Jamie had realized his mistake of putting you on the back burner a few weeks before he was able to admit it. He had had a bad game, like really bad. He had multiple penalties, hadn’t done a great job leading the defense, or assisting the offense.

After the game, he was pissed with himself, but his best friend came over to him, patting him on the back and saying “Go home and relax. You’ve been so tense lately. Go be with your girl and chill, you definitely need it.”

It confused him, all season he’d been working harder and harder than ever before, and he assumed when all that work wasn’t helping, he had to push himself even more. He never realized that his best successes came from when he was relaxed when he had been talking to you before, when he could see you in the crowd.

You had come to as many games as you could all season. But one night, after a fight over God knows what, Jamie told you not to bother coming to his game the next night, and you hadn’t gone since.

Jamie had questioned his love for hockey at times during his rookie season. He’d even thought about what his life would look like without it. He never had to question one thing though, that you’d be there no matter what he did. He’d thought about his future, always just knowing you were gonna be there.

Jamie realized that you weren’t always gonna be there if he didn’t care for you like he should. He realized you could probably find another guy who would bend over backward to do everything you ever wanted for you. He realized he had to start doing that again, because you’d done everything for him in the past year, and never asked for anything in return.

and i knew you’d come back to me. you’d come back to me. and you’d come back to me. you’d come back.

You didn’t realize tears were running down your face until your sister wiped them away, tilting your head up to look at her. She then nodded to the side, and you followed her gaze, seeing your husband standing next to you. Your husband. His smile drops when he sees your tears.

“Hey woah baby, are you alright?”

You sniff and nod, laughing at yourself.

“Yes, just my stupid sister made me cry with her present.”

He laughed and shook his head at your sister, saying something about not making the most important girl of the night cry. Your sister stood up from her seat, going to pick up your niece who had fallen asleep at one of the tables. You turned back to Jamie after your sister had left, smiling at him with glossy eyes.

“You tired pretty?”

“A bit, but I guess I could dance with you a little more. At the end of the day, you are my husband.”

He nodded at you with amusement, letting out an “oh yeah?” and grabbing your hand to pull you from your seat, smashing his lips into yours. You held his face while he held your waist. You got a few whoops from your wedding party, calling you over to the dance floor, a Taylor Swift song had just come on, and Trevor was about to go crazy.

When you pulled away from each other, you both had the most lovesick smiles on your faces, intertwining hands and running over to the dance floor, jumping around with the people you loved most, shouting the lyrics to Cruel Summer.

Jamie was always gonna be yours, no matter what happened.

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed. you put me on and said i was your favorite.

-

i’m making a taglist for this if anyone would like that! comment or send an ask if you’re interested!

[poorpuppyboy]

Hi nsftblr! Tis I, Sunflower, here with my THIRD nsft blog.

Idk really how to explain my absense other than I have waves of sex repulsion and i think the best course of action is to sever that via deleting a very fun project: i.e: my kink blog/s.

Anyway. I lost my first one to THE BAN HAMMER and the 2nd to my brain. So uh here i am againnn.

So here's me:

You can call me 🌻 Sunflower or any of the terms/names listed below. I am 19, a FtM transgender man. I am attracted to all genders, with a preference for men, and transfem people. I'm a virgin and havent had an irl sexual experience, but that doesnt mean I'm a pushover, lmao. I'm hoping to have fun and meet like-minded kinky people. That being said, lets all be safe and have a good time!

I love getting asks! especially horny comments or scenarios ehe! I'm not open to DMs anymore unfortunately. my social anxiety has gotten pretty bad and I've ended up ghosting quite a few people, but feel free to communicate via asks with me :]

That being said, I am reopening my DMs to my moots, or if I message first.

I am open to sexting and getting off over text but I am not looking an irl sexual experience or relationship. Discussing fantasies during sexting is fine and even encouraged as long as you understand I am in no way going to actually fuck you.

NAMES/TERMS FOR ME:

any kind of good boy, prince, puppy type terms are fucking 10/10, i also like slut, whore, toy, anything degrading or implying being used i love. Especially if you mix it with praise "good toy, good slut" etc

BODY TERMS: I am uncomfortable with my chest being called "breasts" and my cunt being called "vagina" but aside from that, go stupid go crazy

anyway, the kink rundown:

YES:

minor bdsm or d/s dynamics, free use, monsters (vampires, werewolves, tentacles 🤤), puppyplay/petplay, exhibitionism, degradation, praise (mix the two and i love you) minor dd/lb, objectification (use me, daddy), humiliation, hypnosis, corruption (make me into your slut 🥰), masochism/pain (lightly), cnc/dubcon, sexting, phone sex, sending/recieving pics, vids, voice messages. I have a big voice kink and love dirty talk/moans.

NO:

Full dd/lb/g, ageplay, rapeplay, raceplay, scat, piss, shit, vomit, vore, blood, weaponplay/knifeplay, cuts or burns (idm bruises or slaps), detrans, misgendering, anal

DNI/I WILL BLOCK YOU LIST:

straight men, terfs, racists, transphobes, mysoginists, etc. detrans, misgendering, raceplay, scat/piss/bodily fluids, nsfw ageplay (it makes me uncomfy sorry)

NOTE WITH DD/LB/AGEPLAY: I literally only being called "good boy" (and similar) and calling doms "daddy" and being babied A LITTLE and doted on. not much else with that. I do experiment with littlespace but I want it to stay 100% sfw if I'm regressing. You can use elements of dd/lb in nsfw conversation/asks with me as long as you know its not littlespace. If you try and make me regress for the purpose of nsfw interaction, I will block you.

NOTE ABOUT CNC/DUBCON: I like the kind of cnc thats like, for example, roleplaying a kidnapping where im into it and hiding that. I don't like roleplaying ACTUAL RAPE

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DNI IF YOU POST OR LIKE DETRANS/MISGENDERING. I WILL BLOCK YOU

[likesunsetorange]

I’m a e2l fan so I want anything you could give us about it like characters likes /dislikes ? Small snippet (sorry Im so excited for this fic I’m asking for alot :,(no pressure though <3)

love you hope you’re doing good

hiii! you're so sweet, ily2! i'm mostly good! a little stressed bc school but i'm keeping it pushing haha

and you're not asking for a lot!! i've actually been talking a lot about this au with a few of my moots lately so i've been itching to share about it so honestly go crazy with asking about it!!! since i haven't gotten as many asks about this au i guess i'll make this ask kind of long and just kind of dump some of the stuff from my notes into it? and i have a tiny snippet i can share too!

so i'll just go on a long ass tangent below lol

okay, so first thing about this au, the one thing i really want to emphasize (without spoiling) is the whole thing about this au is that their breakup reason is important, but also that nobody in particular is at fault. sometimes life just happens, and things happen, and sometimes you just need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself, your goals, and what you really want! it's about coming back together and choosing that person in the end because you realize not being with them is worse than whatever drove y'all apart!

tbh a lot of this au is partially inspired by my own breakup & how the experience of me getting over it! i was in my early 20s for the first time being single after being in a relationship since i was a teenager and i was like woah wtf idk how to be single/without a partner. so that's a big focus of that! learning how to find yourself and realign your goals and all that!

but we can get into the characters now!

eren:

definitely is a bit more obvious about missing mikasa, but tries to act like he doesnt (he has her highlight still up lol, not doing a good job at it)

mostly just works a lot while they're not together

after they breakup, mikasa moves out of their apartment, so he's stuck seeing all their stuff all the time

the first time they see each other its messy, they get into a big fight lol, they aren't allowed to hang out together lol

but he realizes pretty fast that he regrets the breakup, but he sees that mikasa seems to be doing okay, so he wouldn't wanna intrude on that

he gets armin in the breakup basically (mostly bc he sees armin more, but armin still talks to mikasa, just not as much as he does to eren obvi)

he picks up some of mikasa's hobbies bc he misses her so much lol he's down horrendous

at the very least does miss mikasa at least as a friend

mikasa

after their breakup, because she's kind of trying to spite eren, she starts going out a lot to cope—her "hot girl era" essentially lol

she definitely starts prioritizing herself a lot more, and spends more time with her friends and figuring out what she wants outside of eren

but she definitely misses eren, she's just better at hiding it lol

she partially thinks he just doesn't want anything to do with her anymore (a lot of this is just them being fucking idiots lol), and she basically doesn't try to stalk him or see what he's up to bc she doesn't wanna know out of her own peace of mind

she has very bad flight anxiety so when they fly to italy, she lowkey kind of hopes that eren doesn't change his flight (he does bc he has to do something not even to be petty), and she has a very terrible flight experience and all she wishes is that eren were there

and here's a little snippet! this takes place the day after they break up!! sorry for rambling LOl but hope you enjoyed my little tangent! :)

“Damn, Mikasa,” Gabi called out from behind her, only causing Mikasa to turn around. “We didn’t know you went out on weeknights.” 

Gabi, one of the college freshmen who worked at the gallery, had a tendency to say whatever was on her mind, never bothering to filter herself. Even if Mikasa had grown rather close to her since she started working at the gallery in August, sometimes she wished Gabi would just shut up.

Mikasa scoffed, confused as to what even prompted her to say that. “What are you talking about, Gabi? And don’t cuss so loud, especially where guests can hear you.”

“Your eyes, they’re all red. Not to mention how bad your bags are,” she said, pointing to her eyes. “Seems like someone was a victim of Sunday Funday.”

Mikasa lifted a finger to touch her eye—still puffy, but from tears, rather than drinking.

“Gabi, you’re not supposed to say stuff like that—it’s rude,” Falco chimed in.

“Hey, it’s not my fault she can’t handle her alcohol,” she shrugged, turning back toward Mikasa. “It’s okay, Mikasa, the prettiest girls are always the biggest lightweights. But anyway, are you feeling okay? Does our favorite party girl need some Tylenol? A Liquid IV, maybe? Even a Gatorade?”

Was she supposed to answer honestly? Tell them that she had spent the entirety of her night crying because she and her boyfriend had broken up. That she was sure that the cops almost got called by their neighbors from how loud they were yelling at one another? That Sasha couldn’t even understand her when she called, telling her she needed somewhere to stay because she stormed out of their apartment, not even giving Eren the chance to finish his sentence, somewhere after one of them had uttered the words, “We shouldn’t be together anymore?”

She had been doing so well, pushing the thoughts to the back of her head, trying to get through the entirety of her shift without thinking about everything—about him. She only had an hour left in her shift, but all of her efforts had been to no avail.

It was as if the wind had been knocked out of her, she suddenly lost the ability to breathe, and she felt all the blood drain from her face.

We aren’t together. We aren’t together. We aren’t together. The words playing in her mind on loop.

“Hey, Mikasa. Are you okay?” Falco asked, his eyes flooding with concern as he looked over Mikasa’s current state.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” she said quickly, before running off to the bathroom.

But maybe just this once, Mikasa was lucky for Gabi’s inability to shut her mouth—at least being hungover was a good enough cover for sobbing her eyes out in the bathroom.

[gossipgoal2]

matt is clearly just enjoying being able to get with and have attention from girls he wasn’t able to think of even coming close to interacting with just 3-4 months ago, my guy is simply just having fun and enjoying this new found fame/clout he’s gotten. cannot blame him but he’s managing himself way better then most guys.

I’m pre sure that recent OF fan girl he recently followed, also is kind of seeing/dating someone as well and doesn’t seem to follow anyone but girls lol. Same along breckie she has a boyfriend. breckie is known to be crazed over hockey players but it’s also part of her way of starting controversial talks and getting attention. I actually only knew of her because of that time period she was going crazy over connor berdard, which she actually gained a lot of clout from doing that whole thing wether it was intentional or not. all im saying is that girl knows what shes doing.

sorry for it being so long, long story short he’s just enjoying whatever is happening for him rn and I don’t think he’s taking most of these girls serious especially the thirst follow/OF ones.

^^

Yeah he’s not type lol, he always starts a fight but then like gets his ass kicked

[kylejsugarman]

I was watching the commentary of One Minute earlier and it got me thinking of the recurrent orbital injuries Jesse sustains over the series. Between the smashing his face into a rock in the pilot and Hank assaulting him, his left eye socket alone has been at the very least fractured twice. Not to mention the right side getting injured when [REDACTED] in Ozymandias. I’m genuinely surprised he didn’t have to have it surgically repaired. Goodness that’s not to mention the head trauma and multiple concussions he sustained.

Do you think his vision will be effected long term? Would he even have had time to notice a change in his vision with how crazy his life was until he got to safety? I can imagine migraines and seizures being issue. I just wish someone would whisk this fella away to a neurologist (And a good one! I’ve seen my share of bad ones🙃) ASAP.

Again I’m sorry for opening Pandora’s box trunk, but this is fresh on my mind and it is just rattling around in my brain and I had to consult someone else or my mind would explode.

(officer who is in retirement being called back in for one more big case voice) goddamn. im getting too old for this shit.

specifically regarding the orbital injuries, ur absolutely right that after getting his left socket likely fractured twice, he might need surgical repair. most repairs of orbital fractures are relatively simple, especially if they're rim fractures like i suspect his are in these cases (he probably could've gotten it done quickly in the hospital after the hank beating), but even with surgery and after that injury to the right socket as well, there's a high chance of him developing double vision. orbital fractures aren't necessarily correlated with vision problems (unless of course we're talking about a fracture that involves direct injury to the eyeball as well), but in tandem with the head injuries, the chance of double/blurred vision is pretty high and problems with eye-tracking and peripheral vision are likely. also i suffered an orbital fracture back in august after falling during a seizure and they hurty :(

knowing jesse, he probably wouldn't even notice a change in his vision (jesse strikes me as the kind of person who would go thru life like "damn. crazy how everything's blurry all the time huh" as an adult and everyone around him would be like. oh god have u ever had an eye exam??) and if he did, it'd be at the bottom of the list of Issues (diplopia can be transient too and its not exactly easy to treat when its the result of this much trauma). but u all absolutely KNOW how i feel about getting jesse to the nearest quality neurologist as soon as he sets foot in alaska. even divorced from my au, seizures are going to be a HUGE possibility from all that head trauma/concussion injury + yo-yoing blood sugar. add exposure to chemicals and starvation to the head injuries, and symptoms like migraines, limb weakness/tingling, and memory loss are basically guaranteed.

when u compound severe physical and neurological distress with the psychological distress of surviving Literal Hell On Earth and Losing Everyone u Love, it's actually. really, really hard to picture his early time in alaska as anything but scary and painful and miserable :( like yeah he has this freedom and he's "Safe", but being alone and living in a body and mind that have been legitimately torn to shreds and are almost beyond his own recognition is somehow worse than captivity. i mean, jesse's young and isn't exactly up to snuff on like biology and physiology, he doesn't KNOW all the things that are "wrong" with him (a lot of which can be fixed or alleviated!!) and so its scary to have all this pain and these symptoms along with the debilitating psychological scars. thats why its SO important that he see a neurologist ASAP after getting to safety: he Needs someone, someone who is caring and wise and has no reason to distrust or hurt him, to look objectively at his problems and put names to them and tell him how they can be treated. like jesse is absolutely going to live with chronic pain and certain symptoms for the rest of his life, but to have Names for these things and Ways to cope with them.....to See them from a more objective standpoint, not as curses and suffering he deserves to continue serving out his "sentence" but as pieces of baggage that are not inherently good or evil.....like that's going to at least open the door for him to start seeking other forms of treatment and accepting help instead of suffering alone with his pain as some kind of self-laceration or some desperate, misguided attempt to isolate his pain to avoid it Contaminating anyone else

[claudiajcregg]

S5 Pregnancy AU - I’d love to hear about!

Welp, this is embarrassing – mostly because this has been sitting in my inbox for almost two weeks, and I kept saying “I need to write something up!” and then… I didn't. (Or rather, I did, then I forgot to post it.) Sorry for the wait, Lil! Thank you for asking <3 (I'll divide this up because I keep writing about the process and how it came to be, instead of any actual, interesting facts.)

I have talked about this one in the past though I don't have a tag for it. The gist is what it says… (Early) S5 but CJ is pregnant. I had this idea over a year ago when I hit mid/late S4 in my rewatch. I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of her disappointment at that time if you added an unexpected pregnancy to it, even if I had the idea before even getting there, lol. Think, the ending-ish of Han, or parts of Disaster Relief. (Both of which do feature! I surprisingly focus a lot on Disaster Relief.)

The thing with S5 is that the timeline is so weird, and I feel I've also created one that isn't entirely realistic but I think it works within the story. (IIRC, the season starts in “May” but also July, then the Shutdown is in November, lmao. A few of the episodes are sneaky two-parters that flow into each other… See 5-6, 7-8.) I've finally gotten out of the no-man's-land I wrote myself into and the next chapter or two, knowing myself, will deal with 7-8! There are a couple of scenes that should be fun to write! (There are so many details I want to mention that are technically spoilers for early twists…)

Every time I had the urge to write it, I'd edit whatever outline I was working in, and though I kept some details… my muse decided to make a big change early on that completely changed the fic's direction. That, and my inability to write anything succinctly. No reason why this story will cross the 100k barrier in a couple of chapters, tops. (It's sitting at 85k across 12 chapters. I think it'll be less than 20 chapters total. Hopefully.)

This might be too long to share snippets, but I've shared some either on the server or here, a couple of months ago.

For more irrelevant details on the “process”…

As I hinted at, I wrote an outline or two around this time last year, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I say outlines, it's a general path for the story to follow – ideas, suggestions of dialogue and/or scenes I write to myself; all focused around some sort of chapter structure. I find it much easier to write if I write down where a chapter might go, even if it's just a few lines saying “This happens → then this → finally this;” otherwise, it takes me months. Some would say that I should post it and get encouragement that way but… I hate being dependent on something I can control even less than my muse? That's not for me, thank you. Mad respect for those who work like that.

It was meant to be short – 1-2 “long” chapters per trimester, more if needed, but then interludes in between trimesters. It's not that. Most chapters currently cover 1-2 weeks, but there is not really a pattern. I was afraid of having a fic that would take over my life like the WOWO did three years ago… And it has, but I've also taken breaks and not felt too guilty about them. I definitely don't want this one to sit in my drive and have me wondering what to do with it.

(The novel, aka WOWO, aka IM AU (2021): 150k written in a little over five months, even with extended breaks over the summer. Still hits, even with all its crazy decisions, maybe because of them, but it's also been too long, and it will always remind me of someone who kinda hurt me. Attempts to replace those memories by sharing the story with others, trying to gather whether it's worth posting, have failed, lmao. One day! Maybe!)

But yeah. Uuuuuhhhh. As I've said… Twelve chapters in ten months, 85k words… It's still not done. In fact, I've repeatedly said I am unsure of how to end it (beyond the obvious), but I'd estimate it to be under 20 chapters. I'm not posting it anywhere yet because I want to be able to edit it as a whole and try to make it more consistent; to add little details as I come up with them. There's also the fact that I am not skilled enough to write a compelling story that mixes politics and emotion into something remotely engaging. As a result, the story's politics are very surface-level, and probably repetitive at points, but it's also true I've always been more interested and focused on the emotional journey and the relationship(s) at its center. (Which should surprise exactly no one who's ever read one of my stories.)

But, as critical as I might sound of myself here, I am having fun writing this and I'm committed to seeing it through. I just keep having ideas for stories down the line, putting actual show events through a 'but she also has a kid' perspective.

[krypticcafe]

Hello!!! This isn’t really an ask but I must say I haven’t read something that’s gotten me this enticed in so long it’s like oh my fudging god wtf-?!?! /Vvvvpos

im a neurodivergent Person and I’ve never had writing make me /pos stim more than most of my hyperfixations before. Along with this I’m a poet and your writing style is so good I want to scream like it’s so good. I have only read ‘me and the devil’ on tumble and that’s all I have time to read but I am going to screenshot some writing to read on my drive to the airport tomorrow !! I promise to delete it straight after if that is what you want and I will provide you with proof I’ve done so. With that specific story I know they are sensitive topics to write about but wow you’ve still done it so well and it was all so beautifully written and action packed along with any other shit that makes me stim

Sorry if this has been weird or too formal haha, I also know this isn’t an ask but I just want you to know your work is fucking appreciated mate. Not just for how you write but the stories too?! Anyways I won’t ramble on any more it was just sick/pos

and this is your gentle reminder to

• stay hydrated

• eat

• rest

• and not to over stress yourself !

ty for the great read!!

sobbing, screaming, kicking my feet rn aaAAA/pos

probably the nicest comment I've ever gotten?? OP this is going to be stuck in my head all day, all week, even. It's actually so crazy knowing my silly little stories can affect people so much, honestly never expected I'd have this kind of impact :') tbh I'm always comparing my work so that might be on me for assuming my fics are nothing major.

future tip for anyone who wants to save my fanfics: I have an Ao3 and there's a feature to download them as text docs if you wanna read offline or want to keep a personal archive!! I don't mind people saving or archiving my work digitally and physically unless it's to profit off of (*cough* those people on tiktok printing and selling people's fanfics like books).

anyways if any of you wanna ask smth, reach out, blab to me, feel free to!! I like to think your guys' interactions mean as much as me as my fanfics do to you guys :]

[pesterloglog]

Kanaya Maryam, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 7777-7782

KANAYA: Thank You

ROXY: no problem!

KANAYA: I Didnt Think

KANAYA: It Would Be This Easy

KANAYA: I Mean

KANAYA: Not That It Was Easy For You By The Sound Of It

KANAYA: What I Mean Is I Thought It Was Going To Involve An Arduous And Lengthy Process For Myself To Undertake In Order To Figure Out How It Was Even Possible To Reconstruct The Orb Let Alone Actually Do It

ROXY: nah

KANAYA: Nah?

ROXY: nope!

KANAYA: So Instead Of All That

KANAYA: Its Just

KANAYA: Handed To Me

KANAYA: Like A Nice Present

ROXY: yes

KANAYA: I Dont Know What To Say

KANAYA: This Changes So Much

KANAYA: About Everything I Thought I Had To Do

ROXY: does it?

ROXY: the way i see it is you shouldnt have needed to worry about makin the thing

ROXY: i think it will be challenging enough like...

ROXY: hatching it??

ROXY: and tending to all the stuff that comes next

ROXY: isnt that basically being responsible for the preservation of an entire race of people?

ROXY: like not even a simple kinda people that all go about havin their own babies by themselves n such

ROXY: u have to set up and deal with this huge creature that does it all herself right?

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: Thats How It Works

KANAYA: And Yes That Will Be

KANAYA: Probably Very Challenging

ROXY: yeah so just focus on that!

ROXY: im sure you will have help if you need it

ROXY: i mean... after all this shit is over obviously

ROXY: hey speaking of which

ROXY: howd it go here? did you do the thing?

KANAYA: Yes I Think We Did The Thing

KANAYA: Our Frog Should Be Good To Go

ROXY: we?

ROXY: oh yeah karkat came too didnt he

ROXY: where did he go?

KANAYA: Oh

KANAYA: He Um

KANAYA: Hes Still In The Cave

KANAYA: Uh

KANAYA: Meditating

ROXY: meditating huh

KANAYA:

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: It Was A Very Spiritually Uplifting Encounter With The Denizen

KANAYA: It Really Uh

KANAYA: Blitzed Our Chakras

KANAYA: He Needs Some Time To Clear His Head

ROXY: heheh ok

ROXY: so you are roses girlfriend right?

KANAYA: I Dont Know

KANAYA: Is That What Humans Call A Matesprit When The Matesprit Is A Girl

ROXY: umm

ROXY: i dunno

ROXY: is a matesprit the thing trolls call each other when they are girlfriends or boyfriends with each other?

KANAYA: Yes

ROXY: ah ha!

ROXY: then uh

ROXY: the answer is yes?

KANAYA: Yes

ROXY: lmao

ROXY: ok it was kind of obvious i was just makin sure

ROXY: anyway thats cool!

ROXY: did you meet on ur fancy meteor vessel

KANAYA: In Person We Met There Yes

KANAYA: Originally We First Spoke While She Was Still In Her Session

KANAYA: I Assisted Somewhat

KANAYA: But I Think I Bugged Her Mostly

KANAYA: That Seems Like A Lifetime Ago Now

ROXY: so i guess you mustve gotten to know each other a lot better during the trip

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: We Had

KANAYA: A Lot Of Free Time

ROXY: i bet :)

ROXY: man... three years was it?

ROXY: thats crazy!

ROXY: for a whole bunch of people who only just met including humans AND aliens

ROXY: or i mean trolls whoops sorry if thats rude

KANAYA: We Call Each Other Aliens All The Time

ROXY: haha

ROXY: but then you all IMMEDIATELY have to hunker down together for three years

KANAYA: That Is Very Much What Happened And What We Had To Do

ROXY: it sounds fun!

ROXY: kinda wish i could have been there

ROXY: i guess i had my own less long stint with people in my session

ROXY: only like half a year tho

ROXY: which was cool in its own way but it wasnt nearly as... social as your scene sounded?

KANAYA: It Was Pretty Social Yes

KANAYA: But We Also Had Little Groups Who Generally Convened With Each Other More Often Than The Entire Ensemble Crowded Together For A Singular Noisy Affair

KANAYA: Such Events Were Pretty Rare So Maybe Not As Social As You Are Picturing

KANAYA: In Fact It Was Quite A Subdued Situation Compared To The Crowd I Was Formerly Accustomed To Congregating With

KANAYA: There Were Twelve Of Us Back Then

ROXY: yeah WOW!!!

ROXY: i remember hearing about that from a friend

ROXY: who...

ROXY: never even existed from this frame of reference :(

ROXY: i guess thats another weird thing about my lil sojourn to get to this point...

ROXY: it is all made of memories now that didnt even happen for other people

KANAYA: That Does Sound Like A Lonely Predicament In Its Own Particular Way

KANAYA: A Sort Of Sacrifice Youve Had To Make Yes

ROXY: yeah

KANAYA: Sacrifice Abounds It Would Seem

KANAYA: I Dont Know Of Anyone Presently Alive Who Hasnt Had To Trade Something Very Important To Them In Exchange For Continuing To Be A Material Seeker In This Endeavor

KANAYA: You Were Forced To Trade Something Too But In Return Youve Been Able To Do Something

KANAYA: Something So Wonderful That

KANAYA: I Guess Im Judging Your Accomplishment From An Especially Personal Vantage

KANAYA: But No Matter What Else You Have Been Through

KANAYA: I Believe You Can Say Youve Done Something As Important As Anyone Could Ever Hope To Do

ROXY: aw yeas 8)

ROXY: i hope so!

ROXY: i really hope it all works out and you make a super successful trollworld 2

KANAYA: Yeah

KANAYA: I Want It To Be A Good Place

KANAYA: Not So Much Like Where Im From

KANAYA: It All Sounds

KANAYA: Really Daunting Actually

KANAYA: Not Even Just The Propagation Of My Kind But Managing To Do It Responsibly

KANAYA: Just Causing Millions Of Beings To Exist For The Sake Of Doing So

KANAYA: And Dismissing Responsibility For What Sort Of People They Become

KANAYA: That Isnt Good Enough For Me

KANAYA: I Think Echidna Was Right

KANAYA: Ill Need Him

ROXY: who

KANAYA: Oh

KANAYA: Nobody

KANAYA: Lets Say It Was A Figure Of Speech

KANAYA: Ill Need Everyone

KANAYA: Whoever Is Good And Wishes To Have A Hand In The Way Our World Is Shaped

ROXY: count me in! :D

KANAYA: I Will

KANAYA: But

KANAYA: As Of The Immediate Point In Time

KANAYA: I Dont Know What To Do Anymore

ROXY: hm??

KANAYA: Before You Came

KANAYA: I Was On My Way To Join You And Rose And John

KANAYA: Feeling Quite Sure I Was About To Get Ready To Fight

KANAYA: But Then You Gave Me This

KANAYA: And Now Im Unsure Of Everything To Which I Just Imminently Committed Myself

ROXY: how so

KANAYA: I Want To Help Us Win

KANAYA: But I Also Have A Lot Of Responsibility Now

KANAYA: In A Way That Is Much More Tangible And Also Spiky And Round And Sharp Than Just A Few Minutes Ago

KANAYA: And I Feel I Have To Consider Risk To Myself Is Now Also The Same As Risk To The Future Of My People

KANAYA: Does That Make Sense

ROXY: ooh i see

ROXY: yeah!

ROXY: it is like.....

ROXY: like say a mother wolf being all ready to stand up to some other asshole of nature

ROXY: like a nasty bear

ROXY: and shes ready to fight and all but also shes got to think about what happens to her pups if she gets hurt yeah?

KANAYA: Something Like That

KANAYA: Except Id Relate More To An Analogy That Didnt Involve Weird Alien Creatures

ROXY: oh sure

ROXY: just imagine instead of a wolf its like

ROXY: a mother uhhhh

ROXY: help me out here

KANAYA: Musclebeast

ROXY: a beautiful mother musclebeast

ROXY: and instead of a bear

ROXY: its um

ROXY: a metroid

KANAYA: Lets Say Good Enough

ROXY: damn straight

ROXY: be fuckin fight of the year right there

ROXY: but yes that concern is completely understandable

ROXY: you dont gotta fight if you dont want!

ROXY: but im sure we could really use the help

KANAYA: Would I Actually Be Of Much Use

ROXY: i think so!

ROXY: id look at it this way

ROXY: none of this next gen troll stuff is even going to matter if we dont win this fight

ROXY: so we have to prioritize beating all these goddamn villains

ROXY: specially the witch!

ROXY: any extra edge is going to help

ROXY: and tho i admit i dont know much about you i am feeling prrrettyyy confident in my assessment that u are probably some sort of sick deadly bitch

KANAYA: Who Told You My Secret

ROXY: i knews it ;)

ROXY: in fact i would BET

ROXY: that you could USE your concern for all ur future space pups to be WAY extra deadlier in this fray

ROXY: maybe youd make the whole difference??

ROXY: the point is we need you now just as much as anyone in the future will

ROXY: and we are ALL riskin stuff and ALL in this together and if youre with me and rose and john, dont worry we aint gonna let anything happen to you

ROXY: i promise!!!!!

KANAYA: Dang

ROXY: dang?

KANAYA: That Was Really Motivational And I Feel Very Inspired Now

ROXY: for real?!

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: A Little Corny But Definitely Genuine And Moving

KANAYA: And Now Im Suddenly Psyched Again To Go Dunk A Narcissistic Fish Woman Into A Sea Dumpster

ROXY: FUCK YES

KANAYA: Not To Project Myself As Someone Fickle Or Lightly Swayed On Big Decisions

KANAYA: Maybe It Was Just A Roughly Thirty Second Spell Of Cold Feet And I Just Snapped Out Of It I Dont Know

KANAYA: But You Really Do Seem To Have A Way With Motivational Words

KANAYA: You Must Be A Natural Leader

KANAYA: I Think Your Group Was Lucky To Have You

ROXY: me?? nuhhh

ROXY: im not naturally good at that at all

ROXY: i mostly just yelled at my friends cause they were such a gaggle of frustrating bozos

ROXY: i guess im just feeling way inspired by the fact everyone is here together and we are all about to try and do something huge and important

ROXY: ive also watched john in action a bit and he is VERY good at that stuff

ROXY: hes actually so good at being inspiring hes inspired me to try and be... more inspiring? that sounds dumb as hell but is true as shit

ROXY: i also love how hes got NO IDEA how good he is at leadery stuff, its

ROXY: it

ROXY: it is so inspirationally friggin adorable

KANAYA: :)

KANAYA: Shall We Go Then

ROXY: we hella shall

[the-fandom-hopping-mage]

thoughts on the doctor who special

so this list got way too long i guess i think a lot while watching things

oh the bright side my irl friends haven't gotten spammed with 80 million messages, just the internet people :) :)

read at your own risk

david tennant! !!!!!!!!!!

what's he doing in space why are they talking to us this is so stupid i love it sm

lol the first thing they do is give him like three sequential heart attacks LEAVE HIM ALONE HE ONLY HAS TWO

wow rose is pretty

donna i'm pretty sure you have supernatural abilities at this point, how the hell do you miss everything

donna why would you give away the money (i know exactly why you gave away the money it's perfectly in character for you but also WHY)

oh no where's wilfred

go off donna beat those kids' ass

these kids are thinking they're the main characters in a sci fi show (don't tell them) they're gonna get themselves killed

girliepop that is a strange creature and you (collective) have had multiple invasions in the last twenty years don't trust it just because it's got big eyes you will get killed

both roses have trusted a creature that they probably shouldn't have just because it acted like a victim. like I can't be mad because I means they have Compassion and other nice things but cmon. common sense. please. im literally begging u.

woah did thirteen upgrade the screwdriver (i need to catch up with the other doctors after 10) thats cool

so they know all the doctor's regenerations cause timey wimey stuff

14 over here trauma dumping on this random ginger lady with cool hair

"best friend in the whole wide universe i absolutely love her" that is the sweetest thing i have ever heard

woah it's the time vortex

wait why does the time vortex have arms now

when your wheelchair saves your life

they're covering their eyes like the sun episode is it the creepy vaporization light???

i Do Not Trust the meep

"he's so cute" finally someone with common sense who also doesn't trust the meep

turn around Shawn trust me your life will be so much simpler if you turn around right now

"ferret"? omg it's draco malfoy

who is Nerys what did she do i'm so intrigued now spill the tea sis

no not wilfred :(

yay wilfred

smh doctor you are a disaster magnet

OMG HE CAN RESONATE CONCRETE :D :D :D

your poor neighbors? y'all's just gonna break into their homes? aren't the aliens gonna follow you? into other people's homes? who's gonna fix the walls? why are the houses touching is this a uk thing?? also that's not how bricks work but who even questions anything in this show there's a giant furbie and bug aliens dueling it out imma just roll with it

donna's mum is so done with the doctor's shit i'm so sorry ma'am

once again, nobody's gonna question the B&E you've got going on? no one?

ooh that's a nice door

are we completely sure he can drive a car? i mean look at how he drives the tardis I would not trust him near my car in a million years

THANK you doctor I totally called it the oversized furbie is not your friend why do they always trust the first alien that tells them a sob story

i'd be a good companion i would actually notice the obvious before it kills everyone sometimes characters are really dumb or maybe that's just the plot armour

he has a washington wig now what is going on 🤣

living sun I knew the mind control light was familiar

the living sun went crazy did they fuck smth up last time???? or is it just a species

did it really just say "Beep of all Meeps" what even is this show 🤣

omg david youre so cute

honestly he was asking to be knocked out

Shawn and Rose must be so confused. an alien shows up. donna's mum is very insistent about how it's not real. random guy from downtown shows up. claims to have two hearts. knows wilf. has a magic screwdriver. breaks into multiple houses with them. aliens are attacking. strange man holds a court session in an underground car park. strange man gets knocked out and you are all put in a creepy government van.

donna here finally asking some reasonable questions

"i don't know him" two seconds later: *exchanging looks*

donna found herself a good man

not even in this new body for 24 hours and he's already getting so much head trauma

'a great day for meepkind' didn't you say you're the last. great day for you you mean.

oh they're gonna join wheelchair ginger lady

OMG THERE SHE IS

ROCKET LAUNCHERS

according to subtitles her name is shirley its very fitting like a sherley temple

THE DOCTOR OMG THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME EVER

oh hey its the room hes floating in that one pic

"Love the running."

respect for david just casually climbing up a wall i could never

besties fr

give this man a break hes so sad

that one random kid is having the time of his life

is she really gonna chew him out for taking her memories girliepop the world is ending

theyre just making up words now

WHY does he ALWAYS lose the ONE PERSON that can UNDERSTAND HIM like THIS its the SAME. FRAKING. POSITION. EVERY. FREAKING. TIME.

just take it away agin

NO DONNA

why is this face so suicidal its actually concerning

ROSE YES

The Master's back again I'm calling it now

"Enigmatic, that is textbook enigmatic."

Crowley voice coming out

As a viewer I'm cackling as a writer i'm confused but I'll just let it go

wink wink wink

see what i did there

Shirley is just "yep regular tuesday this is normal i'm gonna get such a pay bonus OO BUBBLES"

rose: I wanna see! Doctor: yes! Donna: NO! Doctor: I mean no, that's what I said, no.

BESTIES THEYRE SO CUTE

Shawn: Yeah. True. But he's obviously a gay fruitcake so we're fine.

doctor is so offended he's like "what am i not a threat anymore wdym im totally attractive :( :( :("

woah the tardis changed I dont like it

most ADHD doctor ever

OOOO the round things change colors now

BEST

IES

because every time he visits with the family, donna, he loses them. he lost you and it killed him, so its gotta be a big goodbye.

Not even ten minutes and you've broken it, I mean relaly doctor give her a break

the tardis deserves better than this trainwreck of a time lord

"We CoUlD eNd Up AnYwHeRe In AlL oF tImE aNd SpAcE" bro don't pretend for one second that you know where/when you're going on a regular day. 90% of episodes are "oh hey lets go somewhere unknown and see what happens" or "oops the tardis is bringing me somewhere weird" or "oops I messed up this wasn't where/when I meant to go"

[acollectionofficsandshit]

Hi.

I don’t know if you remember, and I don’t blame you if you didn’t and you may not see it but I sent you an ask about how much your fanfics has helped me, especially when my Grandad was in hospital with a serious health condition. Well he was in hospital for over a month after a big operation and thankfully he has been home with for 3 weeks now, and he’s still got a long way to go in his recovery but this past week he seems to have gotten a little bit of his old spark and personality back. Once again thank you for your fanfic, and I’m sorry to see that you seem to be juggling a lot in your personal life and don’t have as much time as you would like to write. I hope you are supported, and find time soon. I look forward to any updates for your stories that you give us.

Oh my god hi! Of course I remember you! I’ve actually been thinking about you since the first series of asks and I really appreciate you coming back to give me an update!!! My apologies it took me a few days to answer I’ve had a crazy week at work!

It’s so lovely to hear your granddad is doing better and is back home and on the mend! It must be amazing to get to watch him get back to his old self! I hope you guys are able to get in lot of good quality family time while he’s recovering!

And thank you for your kind words, I’m definitely very lucky to have an amazing support system between my family and my friends both in my every day life and those here! Im working very diligently to start grinding out parts of chapter 14 of TOU and hopefully getting back on track here shortly!

[akgaereporter]

zeroses: queerosins & hetrosins fighting over twitter survey😕

tldr: a big hao pics account did a rosin survey and posted the results, the sexuality section being a whole 51% straight. queerosins started joking abt it bc its ironic but hetrosins took actual offense and start being homophobic forreal.. mind u these people stan ZHANG HETEROPHOBIC HAO🤕

we used to be a proper country..

so earlier @/haopics posted this fun little thread of rosin demographics, like what gender, job, fav song/album, 2nd bias, etc is popular among rosins. super cute n just a fun interactive thing for the subfandom to have, right?? right….????😓

well no.. dont forget u cant laugh or smile in zeroseville they will jinjja slaughter u😕 the issue started when queerosins started making twts about the sexuality portion of the survey, all of which were clearly unserious..?

there qrts were filled w these, and this was genuinely the worst i could find. no one LITERALLY no one was taking it seriously. like as a straight person if u see this and feel inherently offended then we need to run it back bc this is not any form of oppression..? as long as ur not an akgae, not HOMOPHOBIC, streaming his music and supporting him, trust me no1 actually gaf if ure a hetero rosin its just ironic. these twts shouldnt bother u?? maybe giggle at them a little? “im so sorry you have straight fans” should NOT have u pressed enough to tweet sht like this☠:

whats it finna play.. WOAH🤕 when ur in a dramatic competition and ur opponent is a straight rosin.. “remember you cry on the streets to be respected”????????????? hello?????? discriminaton where exactly???? hao would block n report u all actually bc resorting to casually homophobia in response to satirical tweets made by a minority group is insane.. when u stan this man??

what happened to like idol like fans?? like erm.. yall really sitting here upset over “heterophobia” coming from the fans of the heterophobe founding father himself.. idk maybe sit down and think long and hard abt who u stan🤕 best of luck w that

LMFAOO THIS PERSON GMFU. please.. ples.. stop it… i am criiyng… Hao is my bias he is never gay pls… stop spreading rumours please……im tire of people saying he is home of sexual… he is chinese…..😓

there were were also some people who felt it was a bad idea to have the sexuality section included at all, bc its “no one’s business”:

but it was a public survey..? wdym none of ur business when people obviously offered this information up😭 and "did yall ever see him for his talent" is a crazy thing to say in this context like what are u even talking abt dawg🫤 i guess zeroseville has gotten to a point where even talking abt sexuality has become discourse fuel. this is just so unserious like it shouldnt be a problem to mention and joke abt orientation without someone getting mad. yall speculate about the jebes sexualities constantly, hao in particular actually, and if thats not a touchy subject then why is this?? and why was yall's go to response ACTUAL homophobia like..

but out of everyone i feel so bad for haopics like they just wanted to do a fun thing for their subfandom and look what happened,, that dec survey def aint happening after yall pulled this nonsense😭

bottom line everyone needs to unclench and smile a little (challenge level IMPOSSIBLE for zerosetwt)🤕

[c l o s e t a b ?] ◀ ⇨ akgaepop.com