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#im trying to do a reread but dont know if im in the mood for reading iwwv
lohstandfound · 8 months
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My favourite If We Were Villains annotations from me and @roleplay-fan
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Transcript and context:
"DNA vibes" "I can't tell which boy would say this. Not Brian probably"
'Are we Richard tonight or are we dick?' "no thoughts just amusing line" "John Tate to Richard -> could be Cathy too"
"kinky" "Alexa, play 'Unholy' by Sam Smith"
"oh wow sounds lowkey me" "*bonks you with self-love bat*" "I mean always playing supporting roles"
"I desperately need a map of the university a very detailed one"
'In my case, the latter.' "did you listen to Richard"
"they're friends, they're family and that's what makes this story such a tragedy"
"kinky bottom XD"
"my god why did it take me so long to pick up on James & Oliver?"
"It's my copy of IWWV and I'll highlight all the Shakespeare I want"
"*same energy as 'ZAK! PUT A SHIRT ON!'" "this is both Cathy about Leah AND Nadia about Ivy" "[next to an arrow pointing to 'Leah'] maybe other way around"
"MEREDITH IS DANNIE!" [Dannie = Danny from DNA, who was played as non-binary]
"MAYBE NOT" [immediately carries on from previous annotation]
"why did 'HAVE YOU INVENTED FUCKING WEED YET' come to mind?" [in reference to a line about theatre kids being weird/laughing at anything. also a moment from our dnd campaign]
"To be fair, y'all spout shakespeare and not everyone understands that"
[after a quote about stars] "I can see the stars again, my lady" "Rude!"
"you. are. a. good. actor" [in reference to Oliver insisting he's not and being surprised when no one agrees]
"left alone to fend for themselves and indulge in illusions? yeah" [after Filippa says she thinks they were fucked up from the beginning]
"you are in love with him"
"catch me pouring libations to Dionysus before cast parties"
"he would love a portrait of himself"
"was he wanting Oliver to be his Juliet? To James, Oliver isn't his sidekick but the love interest. They are the lovers in James' story but oliver is still stuck being the weak link, sidekick and so on, no matter what anyone else says about his talent"
"same energy as 'anything is a weapon if you yeet it hard enough'"
"He faked his death? the ending is just as sad as Bare"
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thisloveforyourmom · 2 years
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"STOP LOOKING UP PUZZLE SOLUTIONS STOP SPOILING YOURSELF YOU'RE RUINING GAMES FOR YOURSELF YOU'RE DOING IT WR-" if i hadn't already known hollow knight's story i never would have played it and if i hadn't googled how to do some of the puzzles i wouldn't be as far in it as i am now. some of us prefer the enjoyment of coming into community more than the satisfaction of solving a puzzle and some of you guys need to learn to cope with that
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piningpercussionist · 10 months
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Howdy, Pine! Can we get three headcanons for all your favorite Scott Pilgrim characters? :-)
Oh absolutely!!!! Lemme think for a minute...
((FUTURE FUTURE ME: I LITERALLY JUST PROCESSED YOU SAID THREE HEADCANONS IM SO SORRY--- YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 😭))
Okay I had a whole thing here, but we're gonna try this again but slightly more Hinged-- forcing myself to format so things don't get out of hand again. I will HAPPILY elaborate, though!!
((Whoop this is future me. This post is going to be so long if I dont do this, so I'm going to put this all under the cut! I'll try to remember to come back up here with the characters I talk about- alternative, should I not do that, maybe check the tags! I'll try to only tag the people I'm directly talking about))
KIM PINE
sexuality: very likely canonically Bi, I am a very big fan of her being a comp. het. lesbian, though (I get this both from my read of the comics/her character and just me Injecting myself into my favorite characters ✌️)
pronouns: she/her usually, but I think she'd be very open and vibe with they/them (me injecting myself again, but also she's just chill like that. I think she prefers if strangers use they/them for her, and her friends or partners use she/her. I'm undecided if she prefers her partners call her their girlfriend or their partner, though.)
Characters I think she has feelings for: RAMONA FLOWERS, Lisa Miller, (MAYBE Scott Pilgrim, still)
Elaboration on that:
I honestly think I can just. Point at some comic panels for Ramona. And the goat thing again. They make me Unhinged that's how canon that is.
Lisa!!! My beloved!!! I think she had a tiny crush on her in high school and had no idea that it was a crush until way later in life- maybe shortly after seeing her again, actually. But like. She's so obviously smiley and happy when she's around, I really can't help but read it that way! She, at the very least, gets an extreme mood boost in her presence, so she really likes having her around.
Scott Pilgrim.... *scrubbing at my face* okay. Okay. So, I have a couple different reads on her feelings for Scott, they're kind of complicated for me to dismantle. Especially since I haven't started my reread of book 6 (I've been giving my thumbs a break, which I am currently prolonging but I have been DYING for someone to ask me to talk about this series.) I'm going to go with my more canon read and leave it at that I think, because it's already becoming this text wall.
Scott was really important to her, I think. She's this aloof, sullen, bitchy girl and she knows it- and then this dorky idiot walks into her life and they really hit it off! They date, they have really sweet, private moments together- it's everything to her. It's someone loving her in spite of the hard shell she initially puts out, and managing to reach her soft, easily bruised heart in ways no one had before. But then he left so abruptly, and that heart was crushed under the weight of her own ribcage. I think she carried that hurt with her every day from that point- I don't imagine her having a particularly roaring love life after that. I think she kept that hurt bottled, and it made any relationships she DID attempt fall apart. It's a wound she's been nursing for way, way too long, and I think she knows that- that's why she wants so badly to forget about it. But then she goes to Toronto and runs into Scott again at the lowest point in his life, and she can't get herself to step away, because this is the only person who ever claimed to love her in a way she felt. I think her decision to stay was sort of... detrimental to her moving on. If she'd detatched herself and stepped back, maybe she could have moved on eventually- she could have worked on herself, or maybe lucked out and found someone who could get through those walls without a sledgehammer, and she would have been better for it. But that's not what happens. She stayed, and I think the longer she stayed the harder it became to keep herself completely shielding from him, because he's still that same goofy guy at his core- he's just a bit worse than she remembered him being. But damn near everything he does throughout the comics just continues to crush her until she HAS to leave- he can apologize, and she can accept it for the version of him she loved, but he's not enough to convince her to stay anymore. I'm going to cut my canon analysis there until I reread their next scene, rather than just continuing incase my thoughts have slightly changed, but like... man... they hurt me in a very unique way. If it was anyone other than Scott, it'd be tragic. (Maybe it still is, maybe that's the Kim Bitterness talking)
For a brief touch on my less canon take, with Kim being a lesbian: I think Scott would have been better placed in her life as a best friend than a partner, but when you're young, and honestly even when you're not all that young, emotional distinction like that can be so, so confusing. So all of the hurt remains very genuine, because she does love him, just not the way she thought she did.
((Because I do love the trans!fem Scott HC as well, I will say. I feel like it would be really, really funny for Kim to realize she's into women and be like "wow sure dodged round two of the Scott Pilgrim bullet" and then one day Scott shows up having started her transition and is like "Oh hey Kimmy!! I'm a lesbian AND a girl, like you now!!!" And Kim just. Crushes her drink or something in her hand like "oh no... oh no she's attractive again... FUCK FUCK FUCK." Obviously a lot more nuanced than that, though. I should probably clarify that I started answering this ask almost IMMEDIATELY after waking up and also BEFORE I've taken more pain meds. If this post has been or starts to become very scattered again, that's why lol.))
Bonus consideration: Hollie. I can dig her having a crush on Hollie, but I feel like it faded a little living with her, and then shattered entirely after the Jason Kim situation. Even an overwhelming attraction to women ain't savin that one, chief. That's just too severe a betrayal.
The Knives Situation: Oh Boy. So in the original answer for this I had a whole thing done up, lemme try to condense it. Basically, I think Kim woke up the next morning HORRIFIED by what she'd done. Like, dry heaving in the bathroom horrified. And this likely really hurt Knives's feelings, should she see! Which Kim would feel horrible about. I'm undecided on if she just runs from the situation before Knives can wake up, or if they have a sort of agrument/one-sided rant on Kim's part afterward where she just really tries to hammer home for Knives how not okay it was for them to do that- for HER to do that, given their ages and inherent power imbalance. In the event that this discussion happens, Knives absorbed none of it, and probably leaves that conversation a little wounded. I think it would proceed to play back in her mind when she and Stephen are talking at one of Julie's parties later on, though, and she'd probably approach Kim after that to thank her for being a reasonable adult about that, unlike how some of her friends had been. Once that understanding is reached, I think they could be good friends, although Kim probably teases her for how she started to dress like her after they first met.
Silly little things: If anyone's familiar with Night in the Woods, do you know the part where Mae's like "that's not drums... that's a computer..."? I feel like that has Kim energy. To me.
Also I think Kim sucks at Rockband- I know that releases like, way afterward or something so far as comic timeline goes, but bare with me, okay? It's my silly little headcanons! Anyway, she'd suck really, really bad on the drums, since so far as I can recall, they don't REALLY correspond with the music. If her friends force her to play, she demands either the mic or the bass, because "fuck you Scott, you try playing their stupid fucking drums." He proceeds to play flawlessly, much to her chagrin. She fairs better on the bass, but only a bit better than the drums, since her fingers aren't quite used to the movements.
Kim didn't think she liked cats for a while, mostly because she was only ever around them fleetingly, and generally in the homes of people who should have been cleaning their litter boxes more regularly. After hanging around Ramona's house more, though, she discovers she really love them! She feels a sort of kinship watching how they actually behave, and I think Gideon ends up warming to Kim very quickly, which probably helps with the very quick turnaround on her opinion. I think it'd be funny if sometimes, when Kim's over, Scott will try to beckon Gideon over to him for cuddles or affection, and the cat will just. Stare at him entirely unimpressed before jumping up into Kim's lap with exaggerated purring and chin rubbing before curling up for a "nap." Kim was in awe the first time this happened, and Ramona finds it ceaselessly amusing every time it happens. ((Funny additonal scenario: once after this happened Scott was whining to Ramona, who was coming to join them on the couch, looking generally very sad/cute/pathetic, and overcome with a sort of playful evil, Ramona proceeded to sit by and cuddle up to Kim as well. Kim immediately froze up and went bright red and wide eyed, Scott's jaw probably dropped before he dove into a theatrical, exaggerated spewl about the betrayal of it all, and Ramona just got to blissfully enjoy Kim cuddles while giggling at both of their reactions and petting Gideon.))
Conversely, I don't know how Kim feels about dogs. Like, I don't think she hates them or anything like that, but maybe they fill her with a sense of pity, for their associations with unwavering loyalty. Something about that specifically runs too close to things she considers about herself, at times, maybe. Idk, just kinda spit ballin here.
I think she does like rats! And mice. Idk. They're cute little guys and I like them, let me have this--
Oh man... just Kim's section is so long. And I have other characters to get to,,, buckle up I guess--- I mean, I did start with My Girl, so maybe the others will be shorter?
((This is future future me again... this is where I actually went back and processed the ask properly :') I have no words to describe my current emotional state beyond that I am trying really hard not to burst into a little fit of laughter at myself and wake my roommate--))
Three! Three headcanons!! I can do this (restraintrestraintrestraint)
Okay! Let's try being Normal About Media- and just as a note, they aren't really in any particular order, beyond Kim being the first because she IS legitimately my favorite, I think. Idk she's very Me.
Ramona Flowers
1. She doesn't really do labels, for things like her idenity; she does think pride flags are pretty, though. Scott got her a bi flag once and she decided to keep it and hang it in her room for this exact reason, though she did explain to him that she doesn't really consider herself anything but herself- Ramona Flowers. He's very understanding about that, although a little confused in the typical Scott manner! They eventually come around to just considering it being his flag, when he comes to terms with himself (yeah, spoilers, I HC him as bi)
2. Her hair actually does have magic properties to it that prevent it from getting absolutely butchered by all the bleaching she does- she doesn't know how or why, though. Maybe it's less magic and more to do with the supplies themselves? Unlike Scott, she's not as meticulous when it comes to reading the status effect labels on things she uses or consumes.
3. Of her former partners, I think she does have genuine lingering feelings for Roxie. So far as the comics/movie go, she simply repressed the hell out of them and plays the Deny Deny Deny! game, but so far as the show goes, I think she's come to terms with the fact that she still loves her, but horrifically fumbled her- she doesn't want to hurt Roxie like that again, so she's unlikely to ever try things again between them, I think. Not unless Roxie was the initiator, and even then, it'd take some coaxing.
Bonus 4. She absolutely has feelings for Kim. I feel like maybe further into their relationship she'd 100% ask Scott like "hey... you know your really hot friend Kim?" and proceed to discuss with him if being in a polyamorous relationship is something he could get behind. Maybe it'd happen after a period of time with Kim living with them too, or something.
Roxie Richter
1. She gets ALL the girls- all of them. She's an unholy TERROR for men where she lives, because she is notorious for giving women the night of their lives and making them never look back so far as dating men goes. Now, I don't think she deliberately breaks up people or goes after "straight" girls or anything, but it's probably something that's happened on accident before, so she's A Menace. I will say that she might deliberately swoop in and woo a girl she knows is taken if it's extremely clear that their relationship is just Not Right- like if she's seeing clear signs of abuse, or something. She isn't intending to get with these girls when she does this, but she is fully intending to get them out of shitty situations. She's even turned girls down after their (ex) boyfriends have stormed off in a huff, simply out of respect for them- she'll try to give them advice, and if they're adamant in trying New Venues, she might play matchmaker where she can, but she isn't really comfortable sleeping with them after doing stuff like that- to her, it feels gross, maybe even exploitative.
2. I actually don't know if this is meant to be canon or not, because it's noted alongside some of her sketches, but she's german/japanese in my eyes- but raised in the states. She knows English the best, and some German, but she doesn't really know much Japanese, much to her own agitation- she just struggles with it a lot, for whatever reason. She can kind of read some things, but if she tries to speak it she runs the risk of butchering the words. I personally further HC her dad as German and her mom as Japanese- dad by process of elimination, mom based loosely on how I read some of her and Ramona's conversations in the comics.
3. She is in fact whistling the tune in the show intending it to be from the Robin Hood movie- in fact, I think I'm going to HC it as one of her favorite animated films from childhood. (... do I HC her as a furry now?)
Lisa Miller
1. Disaster Bi! She's a bit of a Menace and she knows it; she likes to rile people up, but she can't really take what she dishes out. Like, if she'd done the kind of seductive teasing she does to Scott to Kim and received any sort of flirting back, her brain would shut down and she'd need to reboot. She doesn't know how to handle when someone else takes the reigns, which is why it was so easy and fun to play with Scott- he was too stunned/shy to play back, which she enjoys. Not to imply she doesn't enjoy having her brain melted a little, of course.
2. I think she makes it big after she heads to America! Or at least, bigger than she was. She sends her friends back in Toronto signed copies of movie posters and CDs and things when she can- she doesn't expect them to keep them, although she loves it when they do, but at least in Scott's case it's sort of a "incase of emergency, please sell" sort of situation. He does not, obviously. (Ramona probably does, though, both from admittedly petty lingering jealousy and because they just don't have room for all of it; Scott rarely seems to notice anyhow, and the money usually goes towards rent or random gifts for him anyhow)
3. I forget if everyone's sudden absence is noticed when they Poof briefly during the finalt episode of the show, but if it is I feel like Lisa starts to talk to Kyle, since he's in front of her, like "hey, what exactly happened there-" before looking out over everyone else who reappeared in their seats and noticing Scott is actually up there with them. She spends the rest of that night chatting up him and the league, and maybe even scores an in with Matthew for getting a foothold in her acting career!
Matthew Patel
1 . He absolutely has a dedicated cult following for his theatrical works, and it's warranted! He's genuinely good at what he does, and his passion is clear as day; any production is lucky to have him, and he knows it, which can kind of lead to butting heads behind the scenes. I feel like he might come across to his fellow performers as full of himself, especially given his proficiency with one man performances, but he truly is just deeply, deeply passionate about his work, and he wants to feel that passion with anyone he works with, too. He NEEDS his energy matched to feel like it's going to be a grand performance, and he simply doesn't notice how off-putting this can be for his coworkers as a result.
2. The demon hipster chicks have always been the visual age they are now, even when Matthew was a kid; he viewed them as older sisters growing up, and they're very protective of him perhaps as a result. At his current age, they're his best friends and personal body guards- they'll descend like rabid dogs on anyone that steps out of line around him, if he doesn't call them off. Sometimes it's a bit much for him, but they're usually pretty good about understanding when they do and don't need to interfere on his behalf.
3. Ya know I'm not sure if it's a HC I've seen at all but I could really vibe with trans!masc Matthew. I would love that for him, truly.
Scott Pilgrim
1. Look... I really love any trans!Scott headcanons. Like, any direction, I've said before; I genuinely have such a problem figuring out which version I enjoy best: he's trans!masc and has been all along, or trans!fem and Ramona eventually helps to crack that egg. But also, while I'm saying this, he is. So stupid. Not like maliciously stupid in this sense, absolutely not, but I feel like he's the kind of person to like. Run into someone from his past post their transition, with THEM coming up to HIM to be like "oh long time no see, Pilgrim," and then he would say something to the affect of "oh, you have the same last name as (DN)!!! Are you related? Kim, Kim!! Do you know if (DN) had any siblings?" while Kim and the other person just stare at him deadpan for a bit before bursting into laughter at his expense. He would then proceed to be really confused and just not get it, either until they explain it to him or like, he'd just suddenly sit up in a cold sweat later that night realizing what he did like "oh my GOD that WAS them, I said their dead name at them like seven times!! I am Going To Hell!!!" (And Ramona would just kind of blindly, lightly slap around in his general direction, like "honey you're not going to hell for basically affirming the effectiveness of their transition, go the fuck to sleep. They would've said something if it was a problem." Idk, that's just how he feels to me.)
2. When he has his own money for things, and space living with Ramona, he spends it on video games or video game related merch- it's probably a lot of patches and t-shirts, but I can see him starting to collect plushies, too! Like some of the really old kinda silly looking Sonic plushies, for example? If I had my Knuckles one on hand I'd use him as an example, but I think he's in storage somewhere :(
3. Gets into really heated arguments about video game mechanics and stat stuff where applicable; like, Ramona has to drag him away or else he will actively start fighting people kind of heated. He can hold chill conversations, but if he feels like he's being talked down to about a game that he's REALLY into, like Sonic Adventure (he has the director's cut!)
Wallace Wells
1. MENACE TO SOCIETY. He's comparable to Roxie in this way except he is so much worse (I say this affectionately <3) because he does just straight up, in canon, do things like steal Stacey's boyfriends! And that's his friend that he's doing that to! So I cannot IMAGINE what mischief he gets up to when he goes out drinking. He's probably ruined so many lives, naybe even marriages. What am I saying, maybe? Definitely. And he feels no remorse about this! In his eyes either your man was already gay or you needed to treat him better, sweetie; he HAS been rejected before, so clearly his charms can't ruin what ain't already broken.
2. While he does have feeling for Scott, which is basically canon I don't even want to hear it, he KNOWS better. Like, he'd been living with Scott for a while, so he knows if they were legitimately dating he probably would be even more sick of him than he already is. When they were still living together, though, there were times where he couldn't help but wonder if it would really be all that bad... right before Scott comes in and does or says something that just highlights for Wallace that he's making the Sane choice. Besides, Wallace is (and i hate using these terms but I straight up don't know what other words I could possibly use) a sugar baby; he can't keep up being both a sugar baby and Scott's effective sugar daddy (HATEHATEHATE THAT WORD) while ALSO paying rent. It doesn't really work out that well, especially with him having, at the time, such a shitty apartment to begin with.
3. I feel like Wallace really enjoys his nightlife and getting to sleep around, so I'm unsure if this is something still in play while he's with Mobile, or if he respects Mobile enough to do away with that entirely. Like, different situations work for different relationships, so if Mobile is fine with it then maybe it's something that continues! But taking into account the sparks from the show, maybe he'd actually be really fine being exclusive with Mobile. Especially given how well their future selves seem to be doing. Idk! Basically the sum of this one is just that, if Wallace is exclusive with Mobile, he misses be a bit of a whore, but he's very happy where, and with who he is, now.
Envy Adams
1. She gives me vibes.. queer vibes... in some sort of direction.... idk if I'm fully behind her also being a comp. het lesbian or just labeling her a disaster bi, but I also get a vague sense of gender fuckery. It's entirely her name thing, probably, but I can see Envy being genderqueer.
2. She probably hunted Lynette down after that show- an arm was likely Not Enough to quite satisfy that rage. Especially since she didn't get the satisfaction of beating Todd more thoroughly herself, since Scott stepped in. Conversely, for the show canon, Wallace has a target on his back for the rest of her life, as far as she's concerned, even in a world where her feelings for Todd were just misunderstood- she considered him her best friend, and you don't get away with hurting her friends like that unless you're her.
3. I think I'd like to HC that some part of her regrets booting Scott from the band the way she did back in college? Maybe not immediately, or even soon, but I feel like sometimes she would think about him and their relationship as a whole and just feel bad, Idk. Like, she doesn't want to get back with him at all, but I could maybe see her offering to promote Shatterband (or Sex Bob-Omb, in the show,) or even play with him as a genuine apology instead of a coy trap somewhere down the line.
Knives Chau
1. Look... look I know I'm about to sound like a broken record... comp. het. lesbian or bi. HEAR ME OUT: her puppy dog love for Scott is really just that- something cute and innocent, but very intense, especially once he cuts her off in that honestly really brutal manner. Teenage heartbreak is messy- even if you feel like it was real, true love you had, you can often realize later in life that what you felt was just admiration, or something else innocuous like that. I think she reaffirms it to herself as a deep and true love because of how intense the pain of that breakup was, paired with everything that comes after, and I think the show really highlights that for me? Because in the show, with Scott out of the picture entirely, she's just a lot less intense about it. I think after playing music and hanging around his friends, she realizes she didn't really love him all that much, just thought he was a cool older guy and liked that he took an interest in her, even if she recognizes how wrong that was now. ((I probably have more articulate thoughts on this but I am really starting to feel the lack of pain meds so I need to get through this--))
2. Knives is really good at rhythm games and things like DDR or, when it's eventually released, Just Dance. Like, freakishly good. She picks them up just as well and just as quickly as she did her instruments.
3. With how quickly she picked up her instruments, she kinda gives me honor student vibes? Idk. I feel like it'd be a little stressful for her later on, because I do think her passionate drive for music makes her grades take a slight spin, but she just gives off that energy for me. Knives is a lot smarter than people give her credit for, I think, Idk.
... yes, I am very normal about media... spending 3 hours on 1 ask that offered me a lot more simplicity than I can apparently manage...
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bellysoupset · 10 months
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SOUP!!! i know you’re focusing on the thanksgiving stuff rn and slay yes go off but this is me begging you to torture wendy sometime soon <3333 i know you know i love her and i’m trying SO hard not to be annoying about requesting her too much but ,,,, the type of dopamine i get whenever i read one of *those* fics (wen as sickie) is truly unreal and i’ve been craving it sm lately (and i’ve already reread all your old ones *almost* too many times LMAO) 🤭 also PLS DONT TAKE THIS AS ME PRESSURING YOU OR EXPECTING THINGS FROM YOU‼️‼️‼️ THATS THE LAST THING I WANT‼️‼️ THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO‼️‼️‼️ im just putting this out there to gently suggest that you torture her whenever you have the time and energy to lolll <3
the trope can be literally anything you want but i’m really feeling a migraine fic 👀 like a bad one!!! but having her kind of hide it until she can’t anymore? and then vin maybe feeling all guilty about not noticing it sooner + him being all soft and adorable and worried? smiling and blushing just thinking about this ahhhh
thank u sm i love u
🦦
And 🧷 asked:
HI Just jumping on board the girly request train (To add this to your hoard for if you have the time/will). Consider, if you will: Wendy sick at work with Jonah as a not-so-great caretaker having to call Vince like "Come get your girl." (Wendy does deserve belly rubs and also just... hugs. Lots of them. And a gentle smooch on the forehead) (And you know I love bitchy Jonah and I can't think of a shittier caretaker /pos /aff /very affectionate /I love him okay?) -🧷
----
Jonah was in a bad mood. Which he knew wasn't saying much, because these days he was always in a bad mood, but whatever. He was in a shitty fucking mood.
Graduation was closer than ever, happening in a little less than two weeks. Meaning he had exactly 4 days to finish all the documentation and essays and double check his hours and also pick an outfit and send the bloody invitation to his mother and stepfather and his father, fuck, he had forgotten about-
"Switch with me," Wendy interrupted his stream of thoughts, entering the office area. Jonah let out a scoff, rolling his eyes.
"Absolutely not," he said, turning back to the paperwork he had been filling in. He had already done his hours in the ER, there was no way he was gonna do Wen's too.
"Please," Wendy said, although she didn't sound like she was asking, "switch with me, I'll take your hours tomorrow-"
"Nope," Jonah shook his head, not bothering to look up from where he was filing up the report of each patient he had had all day, "you're distracting me, Wendy."
"Jonah, I really can't do the ER right now-"
"No one likes the ER," Jonah shrugged, signing his name with a little too much force. He really wanted to go home. It was almost 10 PM and he still hadn't had dinner and although he didn't have classes tomorrow, he had so many things to hand in. Did he revise his residency application?
"Jon, please I..." Wendy whined and Jonah's head snapped up, pissed off.
"Wendy no," he glared at her, "I'm not switching, give up."
She pressed her hands to her face, before letting out a sigh and turning around, wordlessly leaving the office.
Jon's stomach sunk and he felt a pang to his chest, but he stood his ground. He had worked his hours today and he really needed to go home and Wendy was not going to puppy eye her way into getting him to do a double ER shift, not when he was this exhausted, even if it was just the remaining one hour and half.
He got back to the task at hand and by the time he glanced up again, it was time to get going. 11:30 PM, Leo would probably be asleep, Jonah thought sourly, locking all the documents inside of his designated drawer and getting up.
Claire was just getting in as Jonah walked to the doctor's staff to strip his white doctor coat and grab his bag as well as his scarf. She waved at him as he unlocked his locker, "hi, Jon."
"Hi Claire," he yawned, folding his coat.
"Uh..." Claire frowned as she unlocked her own locker. She shared with Wendy, but Wen's clothes were still inside, "that's odd, I didn't see her in the ER..."
Jonah felt a weird sense of unease wash over him. He draped the scarf around his neck, "here, take mine. Just let Todd know when he clocks in..." he said, "I'm gonna check if she's still clocked in."
Jonah hated the guy who had been doing the last round with Wendy. Chris wasn't just annoying as hell, he was also a careless idiot who messed up constantly. Jon had lost count the amount of times he had gone toe to toe with the guy.
"Chris," Jonah said, managing to get him alone just as he turned the hallways, Chris probably going to clock out too, "did you see Wendy?"
"No," Chris scoffed, glaring at him, "not since she bailed on me. If you find her, let her know that she's fucked. I made a complaint with our supervisor."
"What...?" Jonah frowned. Wendy didn't bail, Jon could count in one hand the amount of times she had taken time out of her clinic hours. She often covered for others. She would never just quit and up and leave.
"Yeah," Chris rolled his eyes, "said she was gonna get water and I haven't seen her since. I had to go through all of her fucking patients. Peters is gonna chew her up tomorrow."
"How long ago was that?" Jonah asked, feeling anxiety prickling all over him. This was widely out of characters.
"An hour ago? I don't know," Chris shrugged, before stepping around Jonah, "excuse me."
Jon didn't acknowledge him at all, already fishing his phone out of his pocket and pressing the 3, Wendy's speed dial digit. It rang and rang and no one picked up.
Her car was in the parking lot still, getting covered with snow. Shit.
"Wendy, it's me. Please pick up your phone, I'm worried," Jonah send her a voice message, before immediately trying to call again. If the car was still there, then she was still in the hospital.
The question was where? Their university hospital was a big place, since they were the reference not just for their town but for other five around them. It had four floors and was almost as large as a whole block.
"Shit, shit, shit," Jonah chanted, heading to the main nurse station near the ER. The head nurse from Wendy's shift probably had clocked out already, the new one wouldn't know where she was...
"Marjorie! Nurse Marjorie!" Jonah ran down the hall, catching her just as she was about to walk to walk out of the door to the parking lot. She paused, looking confused and spooked.
"Dr. Banks-"
"Hi," Jonah panted, catching up with her, "sorry, I didn't mean to startle you- Did you see Wendy?"
"Wendy?" she frowned and Jonah nodded.
"Dr. Marshall?"
Marjorie's frown twisted into a grimace, "oh yeah, downstairs," she nodded, "about twenty minutes ago? She was in a bad shape, poor thing."
"A bad shape?" Jonah's heart squeezed and he looked around as if he'd somehow spot Wendy in the crowd that was coming and going, "where was she exactly?"
"Well, I entered the ladies room and she wasn't looking so hot, but she said she'd go home, so..." Nurse Marjorie shrugged, "she's probably left by now."
"Which side?"
"West wing-"
"Thank you," Jonah shook her hand awkwardly, before turning around and running back towards the stairs. He just wished no supervisor saw him running around like that, he'd for sure get called out.
There were two bathrooms down in the west wing, where they got the x-rays exams done. One was gender neutral, then two gendered ones down the long hallway. Jonah made a silent prayer before entering the female bathroom.
It was empty.
Or rather, it seemed empty, but a small sob cued him to the fact that it wasn't so. Jonah power walked across the room, before knocking on the last stall, "Wendy? Wen, is that you?" please let it be her.
There was a small groan from inside, a voice he recognized and he spotted her white shoes peeking out, with the lilac details.
"Wendy, it's me," Jonah knocked again, "can you unlock the door, please?"
"Uhm..." she grumbled from inside and he heard the sound of fingers drumming on the door, as she clumsily attempted to unlock it. It took a minute before she managed to do so and then Jonah pushed it in, regretting it as Wendy let out a whine as the door hit her thigh.
He waited until she moved out of the way to push the door again and Jonah frowned. Wendy was sitting on the ground, one arm draped over the toilet, her head resting on her hand. The little he could see of her face, Jon could tell was extremely pale.
"Goddammit, Wendy..." he crouched down next to her, "Wen? Hey, look at me, sweetheart-"
"Hurss...hurts..." she slurred instead of answering him, her voice barely above a whisper. The toilet was empty, but Jonah could tell she had already thrown up at least once, if the wet spot in front of her baby green scrubs were anything to go by.
"What hurts, Wendy?" he leaned in, planting a hand on her shoulder. She was freezing, even though she was wearing a long sleeved shirt under the short sleeved hospital clothes.
"Head..." Wendy whimpered, curling up even more, sounding dangerously close to tears. She hugged her knees, pressing her forehead to them and rocked back and forth, "I don't feel well, Jon..."
"I know, Dee," Jonah whispered, moving even closer and ignoring the smell of vomit, so he could cup her chin and force her to lift her head, "let me see your eyes, Wendy."
They were filled with tears, squinting from the pain. The minute he raised her face, she flinched from the overhead white light, and gulped nervously, shoving his hand off her face.
"I'm... I'm gonna be sick..." she groaned, leaning over the toilet again. Jonah scrambled forward to grab her hair, immediately gagging as he felt one of the front pieces was already wet and sticky.
He buried his nose in his shoulder, gagging fruitlessly. There was nothing for him to puke and clearly, nothing for Wendy to bring up either, because after a little more retching, she let out a sob and resorted to resting her forehead to the porcelain, sobbing.
"No, darling, don't do that, this is disgusting..." Jonah cooed, sliding his hand between her forehead and the toilet and wrapping his other arm around her waist, pulling her up.
Although she was unstable as a newborn fawn, she didn't immediately collapse, clinging to his coat with all her force. Jonah pushed the stall door open, slowly guiding her to the sinks and Wendy slumped over the granite with her whole body, letting out a whine as he ran his hands under the tap to turn on the motion sensor and then ran his now wet, cold hands on her face, washing her mouth and chin, as well as the sick covered piece of hair.
"Shhh, you're okay, I got you," Jonah whispered, more for his benefit than hers, as Wendy's whole face scrunched up in pain, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.
"I don't... I don't want you," she groaned and Jonah's stomach turned for a different reason, simple and plain guilt.
"I know, I'm gonna get you to Vin," he answered instead, "I'm really sorry, Wen, I didn't know you weren't feeling well..."
She let out another groan, ignoring his apology and Jonah bit his tongue to stop the string of words he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize again, he wanted to grill her about her symptoms, why she hadn't started off by saying she was sick previously when requesting he switched with her, why she hadn't told him...
She shuddered, hugging herself and Jonah stripped his coat, wrapping Wendy in it and closing the first button on the front. It was far too big for her, it reached the middle of Jon's thighs, but on Wendy the coat was brushing the floor.
Wordlessly she slumped forward, pressing her forehead to his chest and Jonah wrapped an arm around her, guiding her out of the bathroom.
As soon as they reached the ground level floor, she let out a loud whine. The place was much more crowded, so much more noisy, and Wendy let out a sob, pressing her face to his chest with even more force.
"Hurts..." She said, grabbing at the roots of her hair and pulling, to try and escape the pain inside her skull.
He left her planted on the couch in the waiting room, as he sped back to the staff quarters to retrieve her purse, as well as her other belongings. Wendy was rocking back and forth when he got back to her, much to the unnerving of the other patients, who kept glancing at her nervously as it looks like she was going to throw up.
"Okay, let's get you out of here," Jon whispered, wrapping his arms around her and guiding Wendy to the car. She shivered violently once they walked out of the hospital, the drastic temperature change hitting them both. Jon's teeth started to chatter and he forced Wendy to keep moving, pushing her inside her car.
"No, don't do that, Dee," Jonah whispered, holding her head as Wendy tried banging it against the window to stop the pain inside, "shhh, lie back down, lie down..." he lowered her seat a little bit, smoothing the hair out of her face.
Wendy let out a pitiful sniffle, curling up on herself, his coat serving as a blanket on top of her. She turned her head, away from his touch and Jonah's stomach sunk a little more.
He parked inside her building, in her designated spot and then scrolled through his contacts. Wendy seemed to be asleep and he didn't want to wake her up unneededly so.
"Hello?" Vince sounded half asleep and Jonah glanced quickly at the clock. It was almost midnight, no wonder, "Jon?"
"Hey," he whispered, "I have Wendy with me, can you unlock the door, please?"
"Wen... Why? What's wrong with her? Are you outside-" there was rustling around, "I don't see you outside."
Jonah rolled his eyes, "I'm downstairs in the parking lot, she-"
"Is she okay? Let me talk with her."
"She's asleep," Jonah started to say, but Wendy stirred and groaned, turning to blindly grab his phone.
"Is that Vin?" she whined, not bothering to open her eyes and, in Jonah's ear, Vince exclaimed.
"Wendy!"
Jonah let out a scoff, "just unlock the door," then hung up, turning to Wendy, "can you walk?"
"Yes," she said, sounding annoyed. She pushed the door open and stumbled out, bracing against the car and taking deep breaths, "my head is exploding."
"You sound better than before," Jonah said hopefully, circling the car to hold her arm, "c'mon, Dee."
"Uhm..." Wendy slumped against him, letting him guide her the rest of the way and Jonah chewed on the inside of his cheek, pressing the elevator button.
"I'm really sorry about before, Wendy. I had no idea you were sick, if I knew I'd have switched."
"It's fine," she said sourly, crossing her arms, "it's fine."
"Wanna say that one more time?" Jonah said, "doesn't sound fine."
"Shut up, Jonah," Wendy groaned, pressing her forehead to his bicep with all her force, "I don't have the energy for this, just shut up."
As soon as the elevator came to a stop, Vince was already there. In the middle of the hallway, wearing just sweatpants, socks and a huge orange hoodie that made Jonah cringe in distaste. His curls were a messy mane around his head and he had been clearly about to fall asleep.
"Hey, hey..." he crossed the hallway in two steps, cupping Wendy's face, "what's wrong, honey?"
She let out a groan, that quickly morphed into a whimper, "my head..."
"Migraine?" he guessed, glancing up worriedly to Jonah, who flinched as if he was somehow guilty for Wendy's migraine.
"Yes, she threw up earlier-"
"It's not as bad anymore," Wendy scoffed, glaring at his direction, before snuggling up with Vince, wrapping her arms around his middle, "I just wanna lie down."
"Thank you for bringing her home," Vince whispered, offering Jonah a big, relieved smile, which only made him feel ten times more guilty. Vin was unaware to his little conundrum, hugging Wendy to him and bringing her inside the house.
Jonah followed them in, planting Wendy's keys and her purse on the little living room table that was littered with books and notecards, where Vince clearly had been studying.
A minute later Vince emerged from the room, having tucked Wendy into bed, Jon's coat draped over his arm, "here. Thank you Jon..."
"Please don't say that," Jonah cringed, taking the coat back, "tell Wendy to call me when she feels better."
Vince frowned, confused, but he nodded, "yeah, of course. Are you calling a taxi?"
"Yes-"
"You can wait in here," Vince said hopefully, "or just crash the couch, it's no problem-"
"No," Jonah shook his head. He was feeling terrible, he really didn't want to stay and witness anymore of Wendy in pain, "no, I have to go home. Leo's probably having a heart attack, I should've been home two hours ago."
It was a little lie. Yes, Leo would be stressing if he was aware, but more probably he was simply asleep by now.
"Okay," Vince crossed the room and then pulled Jon into a hug, causing the man to let out a startled yelp.
"Let go of me."
"Thanks again, man."
"Yeah, let me go..." Jonah shoved him off, "and tell Wendy not to worry about tomorrow, I'll explain to her supervisor what happened."
"Thank you," Vince nodded, although he wasn't sure what he was nodding along with, "you're a great friend."
Jonah grimaced, "yeah, bye."
37 notes · View notes
spacedlexi · 1 year
Text
Tag 9 People You Want to Get to Know Better!
i dont usually do tag games but i'll take any excuse to have a reason to post wips lmao tagged by @foibles-fables
Favorite color: pink and purple baybee!! (my original fave colors ive come back to you im sorry i ever left...) green yellow and red are also nice (sorry i love colors)
Currently reading: nothing 😭 i keep trying to read books but i cant do it anymore the internet has brain broken me my attention span is non existent. tried rereading and then there were none last. couldnt find my murder on the orient express (i love mysteries)
Last song: shes not there - neko case
Last series: the walking dead but i had to give up i cant do it anymore 💀the games are better than the show im saying it. i got to S10E7 but i just cant go back i wont. currently mentally preparing myself to watch utena for the first time
Last movie: the lost boys :) its halloween time. been meaning to watch bound tho ive had the link up for a couple weeks now
Sweet/savory/spicy: savory > sweet > spicy honestly just depends on my mood. i like sour more than any of these tho wheres sour and salty >:( i eat lemons for fun
Currently working on: SOOOOO MUCH ALWAYS HELP ME heres just a small selection of my wips from the past month or so. i already want to re-draw half of them. dont be like me 😭
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
half of those notes are board scripts (other half comics) and that doesnt even include my unfinished fic (that ive been writing on the train i promise!!!!). started boarding the tower but we're about to learn storyboard pro in class so im gonna use it to help me get used to the program (no way i'll finish in time for clems bday 😔)
No-pressure tags: calling any and all mutuals who would like to play a little game feel free to say i tagged you :)
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CAP I FORGOT TO READ CHAPTER 73.
I WROTE SHIT ABOTU IT HERE YOU GO IT'S MOSTLY JUST ME FREAKING OTU
SPOILERS BELOW AND ALL THAT
Balad to cap
Ok so why didn’t i ever read chapter 73. I forgot about it? I have zero clue why that happened.
Its a very fun chapter too, it feels quite chill and is a good transition alongside tying up loose ends
I’m glad it talks about Alya being like “why tf are they over there” 
God I’m still so curious about the seeds planted of clues for Juleka’s identity, plus idk why but I’m still 90% certain adrien will randomly find out
I know he won’t but my brain is convinced
Help genderfluid Anarka i love her to pieces she’s such a terror (and i adore when you make her speak in a scottish accent, it’s so dear to me)
Interesting.. Luka teaches Kim guitar? I’m curious about Luka’s totally normal life aside from the furry for a sister, he tries so hard…
Oh. 
Now thats an interesting tidbit
Luka can tell how in her own head Juleka is? Very intriguing for him to call them delusions… I wonder how different pieces of this fic would be if they were from another perspective, especially the sheer level of danger the characters are in and how monstrous Juleka sees herself vs the reality of her protecting herself 
My thoughts are going to when she Prince Shining (that was his name right?) It’s one of my favorite original Akumas behind Wicket Witch and Little Red (which I am realising now is because of the background to them… Akuma hit harder when there is a buildup, huh. Something to keep in mind for my own writing.) That was fun to see, how worried the class was vs how confused that made Juleka
How people perceive others and myself has always been interesting to me, so this is right up my alley
Back to Luka
Oh curious, of course Luka would want to protect Juleka… I wonder if Marinette will try to make him a holder as well, I’m not sure if that secret identity would last the hour to be honest
The fact that we still don’t have much model Juleka content (aside from a piece of art you did a few years ago, or maybe that was someone else) makes me feel crazy! It’s an aspect of her that I’m really curious to see how you write it
I’ve got fun concepts for her in my own shit, and ANYWAY! Ui brought it up because Anarka was talking about sending Juleka there. 
Sorry, I’m both making notes on like 2 pieces of writing, writing 2 different scenes in totally different chapters and writing this and reading chapter 73 and cooking dinner. Can you tell I am diagnosed with ADHD? 
Woohoo for Fei saving people
Fei being scared and unsettled by Juleka is so funny help-
Aww, Juleka giving Fei interview practice is adorable
I need to reread at some point to see if we get to see how marinette sees Juleka compared to Panthera (hey, it’s me being obsessed with how people perceive others again, tbh that’s prolly why I am so excited to write my miraculous thing, there are some… extra layers that should make it funny) 
Sure you dont have a concussion Juleka, like I’ll believe that
MODEL LORE?? AUWG>/?
WOOO
MODEL SHIT IS HAPPENING I TAKE BACK ALL MY IMPATIENCE CAP I APOLOGISE
AND HER DRESS IS BASED OFF OF DUSSUU OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT???
CRAY=ZY.
HOYL SHIT]I THOUGT]F
ROSE WAS BEING A SAP. ACCEPTABLE. 
BUT.
SO YOU DO WORK WITH THE HEORES>545FRUNEIODWS
DUED
Oh my god if eel insane 
Help
Not Juleka slagging off herself to Rose she is so insane 
Wait
WHAT.
GABRIEL HAS TRIED TO AKUMATISE JULEKA A LOT? HOLY SHIT
This chapter is full of revaltions
Insane about everything her what the fuck
this is mostly me freakign out, sozzles its also really short. time for chapter 74!
this was a really good chapter i feel insane that i forgot to read it
YAYYYYY IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!!!!
i wanted to set up the mood for season 3- i hope it makes you excited!!!!!
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comefeedtherainn · 11 months
Text
tagged by love of my life @saltsanford thank u bb
How many works do you have on AO3? 27
What’s your total AO3 word count?
608,101
What fandoms do you write for?
this varies bc i revisit old fandoms often, atm im deep in the untamed and also working on drafting a sleuth of ming dynasty, might try guardian if the mood strikes. i also have wips i'd like to return to for mass effect, rdr2, and bioshock
What are your top five fics by kudos?
your darkest roads - the untamed (1,417)
scars and scratches - the untamed (1,307)
break of dawn - mass effect (865)
it starts with a lighthouse - bioshock (385)
here's a truth - IT (233)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i used to, i stopped recently because i got busy with grad school and cant always find the spoons lol i try to at least respond to questions, concerns, and also if i finish a fic!!
What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
probably a tie between sparks amidst snow and unseen, both very depressing character studies for the untamed. jin zixuan and lan xichen, respectively. you can understand where the angst came from lmao
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
hmmmm probably break of dawn?? i like to write happy-ish endings esp for long things, just to reward the reader for sticking around for a long fic lol. but break of dawn ended with john and kaidan getting married, leaving the military, and getting a dog. so. absolutely the best case scenario and very happy lmao
Do you get hate on fics?
honestly not really. i got some on mass effect ones but that was more character hate which i shut down hard, rather than hate on the fic lol i either dont write much that's controversial, or i sell it well enough no one bitches lmao
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
i do! most of my longfics feature smut, i enjoy it in my romance
Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
i do occasionally, though not as much recently. i despise fusions though lmfaooo
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
if i have im not aware! lmao
Have you ever had a fic translated?
sadly no :c
Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
i have not!! im a control fic idek if i'd like it if im honest lol
What’s your all-time favourite ship?
why would you ask me this. i have way too many favs but i do think tuckington of rvb and mshenko of mass effect will be with me foreverrrr
What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
i choose to believe i will finish all my WIPs, no matter how long it's been since i touched it!! if i start it i intend to finish.
What are your writing strengths?
dialogue and describing environments!! also plot.
What are your writing weaknesses?
pacinggggggg, and character arcs imo. i can do them and they turn out well if i try hard, but i do have to try really hard/do a lot of rereading and organizing
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
if im writing fic for a fandom that's not english-speaking, like the untamed, i will use words in mandarin if they are a proper noun/name of a place/etc. i also tend to keep it untranslated for titles and for diminutives/honorifics that lose meaning or impact when translated to english. that's it, though.
if i were to be writing a character liiiike james vega in mass effect who speaks spanglish occasionally, i'll be real sparing about it tbh. if i dont know someone who speaks a lot of spanglish or speak it myself, i'd rather just take it easy on that and not look like a dumbass/be offensive lol esp since with a property like mass effect it's really questionable if canon is even accurate lmao so you cant even go off of that
First fandom you wrote for?
starfox adventures dlgkhapodih yeah the gamecube rpg. best game ever btw
Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
this is so hard lmao but i think it's probably break of dawn. writing that fic was such a joy and the interaction with the fandom was something i haven't experienced since!!
if you read this, you're tagged!!!
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Oo 12, 30, and 47 for the book asks?
12. which book will you read next?
i have no idea lol, im a mood reader and never ever plan what im reading next. i think im gonna try to reread truly devious cuz a friend wants me to annotate his copy but i dont rlly know when i'll actually get to that
30. is there a book that changed your life?
there r so many books that i would say changed my life. the big one is keeper, i made so many friends through this book series, as well as it being what got me into fandom spaces originally. but i'd also say books like the darkest minds and the magisterium series changed my life. i feel, tho, my life is very easily altered by media, im very easily consumed by pretty much any books i read
47. what book do you feel most connected to?
this is such a difficult question cuz i feel so incredibly connected to so many books and series but i feel i have to say keeper. like kotlc is the series i always return to no matter what and its just been such a defining series in my life. i genuinely feel i'd be a very different person had i never read them
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guster-animations · 2 years
Text
gonna write a video review soon but here are the notes i wrote as i read stellarlune for the first time. not sure if im gonna put all my opinions in the video so here it is. warning: there’s a Lot
(bolded points are unanswered questions)
who tf is elysian
WHY IS AMYS MOM MAKING HER TRY ON DRESSES. WHY DID AMY SAY SHE WAS WITH HER MOM. DID THE HUMAN PARENTS GET DIVORCED SO EMMA COULD REMARRY??? 
(later in reading) or theyre having a baby .-. or both??
WHY WASNT THIS ANSWERED IN THE CONVERSATION ARE THEY SAVING IT FOR AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT HUH
fuck no are they actually reintroducing foxfire into the main plot
ok theyre doing glimmer now shes elysian im calling it
SHES GOT BEEF WITH THE HEKSES??? HUH
shes a poc!! fan freaking tastic it would be annoying if she wasnt
WAIT I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THAT TRIBUNAL A FEW SAYS AGO WHEN I REREAD BOOK 1! I NOTICED THAT! 
HHAAAAAA trix theyre really doing all the reveals… wait this is the only reveal. rayni has only been here since book 8
wow they really did not need another addition to the main cast (rayni)
where is the gay. give me lesbiana already
rayni calling out fitz’s low involvement in the narrative… and him getting anger issues at that
how long is this dialogue going to be… pg 120 to 168?!
dislike how stirullinh is just regarded as a single entity. at least make them gayer
oh so rayni’s just going to be in jail for the rest of the book ok that makes sense
love how sophie butts into the conversation reminding us that she, the main character, hasnt spoken for like half the chapter
“are we seriously going to let sophie tell us what to do” says stina, who is on a secret government team led by sophie
sophie being unnecessarily mean to fitz WHYYYYY why are we twisting fitz into someone who is a bad person?? i hate this so much
keeper gang breaking up my beloathed…
is this a 9/11 reference???
(screenshot of text saying “Besides, anyone who’s studied basic battle strategy knows you have to take down the greatest symbols of power—preferably in a big, dramatic way if you want the public to submit to your rule.”)
oh this cache opening thingg is going to be SUPER long
is shannon’s self insert oralie??? shannon does think of sophie as her child
alright last call for nb elysian here we go
wow incredible hetero love story just what i read this book for
wait hold on wheres elysian
THIS IS MEMORY 2/7??? IM GONNA BE HERE ALL NIGHT
halfway thru and so far it’s been all fluff and no action or huge revelations. if youre gonna reveal trix do it earlier for gods sake this is unbearable
ro is DEFINITELY gonna be a big discussion point in the video. she is present for the entire first half of the book (minus the cache section) and clearly only there to keep the mood lighter and she directly acknowledges an awful lot of the series’ glaring problems. almost like shannon KNOWS they’re there and is trying to deflect the blame and place it on the characters instead through ro
ro is not subtle at all. including her saying that sophie’s probably gonna have to kill lady gisela herself. gee okay awesome can’t wait for the final battle next book. i bet its gonna be just as awfully drawn out as what you’ve put me through today. thanks stellarlune
are they saving ALL the emotional revelations for the climax?  elysian, trix’s identity, amy’s dresses all at once?  at least give me SOME drama this is agony
sokeefe-biana thing mentioned please at least follow up on that by the end [of the series] ik it’ll probably be disappointing but i need some sort of closure
grady edaline fitz etc being simplified to stereotypes/one note
fitz only being used to add flavor to sokeefe… at least sokeefe is a good ship. i dont hate sokeefe for what it is i hate it for what it stands for and i will die before i ship it
(screenshot of text saying “And almost as if her Mentor knew—even though he couldn’t possibly—he leaned in and murmured, ‘In my experience, you can never trust a Guster.’”)
lolllll i wish ^
even though i hated foxfire in book 1 its actually pretty nice to have it back again?  we havent had foxfire since books 2 or 3 so its kind of nostalgic and a nice break from the drama. and obviously exposition of some sort
ojhhhhh so redhead marella IS intentional and not an artistic choice on the cover. both disappointing and not at the same time
NO GLAM NO NO NO HES GAY NO STFU WRONG
(a screenshot of text that reads “‘At least Sophie has updates,’ Dex snapped. ‘What have you been doing? Following Linh, Marella and Maruca while they do important stuff?’”)
how did you know [i was doing exactly that], dex dizznee ^
FITZ BEING A GOOD PERSON AND SOPHIE BLOCKING HIM USING HER PTSD AS AN EXCUSE! THERE IT IS
ok so fitz is trying to be the voice of reason and sophie’s moral caution but it conflicts with his actions in flashback so sophie doesnt trust him?  ok yeah that makes sense
JENSI NO MY BOY
“thanks for not looking at me like im defective” special abilities [vs talentless ppl] metaphor for ableism real???
the cognate inquisition is gonna end in another sad breakup isnt it
tiergan queercoding [has gone to hypothetical] level 13
FITZ IS INSECURE!!! he thinks sophie isnt fully honest with him because he doesnt deserve her trust!!! we did it!
and sophie’s aversion to honesty comes from the trauma she experienced from 7 years of exposure to the thoughts of everyone around her! oh my god its almost like theyre BELIEVABLE CHARACTERS
im glad we didnt have to sit through the actual cognate inquisition because that would be boring as hell but why doesnt that happen more often? skipping through the boring parts?? why do i only see this in telepathy class
for a split secobd i let myself believe that this is leading up to a sokeefitz threesome. stupid brain
i am being SO VIGILANT about not hearing any spoilers or opinions. i havent even skipped to the last page of the book! im doing awesome im so proud of myself
absolutely in LOVE with how good of an analogy for racism and ableism this whole series provides
NOT THESE FUCKERS AGAIN NOOO [the trolls]
oh so linh and tam are suddenly unbreakable again yeah sure
does white-purple-yellow-pink mean anything?
the books close to being over, is this gonna lead into a long climax [at meeting with trix]
also very glad they just cut straight to the meeting with trix after saying it would happen
“such dramatics” says vespera
here it comes…… the big trix reveal………..
NO GOD DAMNIT THE FRENCHMEN LIED
ah here comes the climax
there is a much more singular and alternating focus on characters than legacy/flashback’s widespread all-at-once thing
oh boy its him again. the awful familiarity of this dialogue. i hate it
we still havent gotten to the climax…
what about amy…
peeked ahead. the frenchmen did not lie. the entire country of france has regained my trust
WHY DO THE BABY ALICORNS LIKE THE WORD “JERK”
wrote “hold on has he gone numb holy shit” and deleted it too soon HOLY CRAP
numbness manifests as depression for keefe!!!!!!
ope yep training with grady. that was sudden. it’s every 12 year olds dream
fully expecting the climax to be a big showdown/ambush on the elysian island with gisela
WOW WHO WOULDVE GUESSED 
wait hold on was this the only fight scene in the entire book. 
(a day later) oh right vespera died. does that count as a lame minor character death or a major character death.  i have to cross something out on my bingo card
i wouldnt call the death “lame” so major character death it is
WAIT there’s still hope for elysian to be nb. if im proven right and there’s a plethora of explicit queer characters as soon as book 10 opens that would be both amazing and horrible
ok in conclusion this was DEFINITELY better than legacy and probably better than flashback and nightfall. lemme rate eqch book to see how it compares
7/10
4/10
idfk
8.5/10
6/10
6.5/10
5/10
2/10
8.5.  7.5/10
9. 7/10
plot: 7/10
characters: 9/10
pacing: 4/10
writing: 6/10
cool
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flovverworks · 6 months
Text
hold on im rereading (skimming thro) owens affection story and the way cain first went 'whats up do u wanna grab a meal?' and then akira (who has been watching) approaches owen like 'hello how have u been do u want to eat together..' LOOOOOLLL
also i know this gets brought up early pt2 alrdy when akira speaks to vincent, but akira calling all of the wizards by name (and heathcliff heath etc) but using miss for canary. lord. also the way akira starts thinking everyones handsome nonstop and brings in a billion 'this person is so pretty' adjectives in every other sentence LIKE U RLY DONT HAVE TOOOOOO <-person who thinks its hilarious. i sometimes go 'please understand' when i have akira think someones handsome Once. i need to upgrade it to ten times
Akira: I’m taking notes on everyone here in case I suddenly have to return to my world. That includes you too, Owen.... Could you tell me more about yourself? Owen: I was killed by you. Akira: Eh...!? Owen’s delicate lips twist at my exclamation. Owen: What would you do if that was the case? What if your memories from your other world were all false? What if you were a criminal in this world? Alternatively, what if your lover was someone you happened to hate? What if I was your lover?
completely normal conversation. but also owen who only seems pleased if akiras annoyed when owen says he hates them,,
Owen: What are you trying to accomplish? Owen’s irritation catches on to me, and I begin to feel irritated and sad. Akira: Then fine. I don’t care anymore. If you’re not going to talk about yourself, I’ll never understand you. And next time Mithra is about to find out about your injury, I won’t know what to do, so. I’ll leave you alone. Bye.
THIS IS THE PART IM OBSESSED WITHHHHHHHH GUY WHOS BEEN TRYING NONSTOP TO BEFRIEND SOMEONE LETS THE BAD MOOD AFFECT THEM the second part wording is ssooooo bad too LOLLLL theyre so annoyed i love it sm. but also this being the time when owen accepts talking to them,,,despite also being rly annoyed,,
but also akira like Just having owen agree to their request, immediately saying 'ya i thought ur room would be strange' and trying his bed is so funny. 'i finally realize why i cant bring myself to hate owen' oughhh but also both akira & owen sitting there confused while owens trying to talk abuot himself LOL i like them so much. i think theyre rly neat
reading mithras too, and the way oz is like 'why would i do that' but then akira asks and hes like '...i guess since the sage is asking..' LOOOL
Akira: Ah... Mithra, it looks like you have a visitor. Mithra: You get the door. You’re capable of that much, right? Akira: (He’s just non-stop snark right now....) Ye~s, who is it?
this fkng interaction skull emoji (laughed) 'mithra u should say thank u too' like a mother....
anyway the way mithra talks about tiretta,,,,,,'only just said goodbye to her 10 or so years ago' T_^ (also thinks its funny/endearing how he says the twins said she was like his mother while mithra says she was more of a master/comrade/little sister<-especially the last one makes me laugh. i lov tiretta
My lips curve upwards, and I can’t help but stroke Mithra’s hair. Mithra doesn’t resist. Akira: I can sort of understand why people want to pat you on the head, Mithra. Mithra: Okay..... Is that so. Akira: It’s like when you’re next to a wild beast that you usually don’t see around. It makes you want to touch him while you can..... Mithra: You’re treating me like a rare animal...... Mithra rolls onto his other side. In the next moment, Mithra leaps up, pins me down, and bites my shoulder. Akira: Gya....ah! Mithra: Ahaha. I scream, and Mithra laughs. Apparently he only pretended to bite me. But I had prepared myself for death, so my heart won’t stop pounding. Akira: (What the heck goes on in his mind..... Was he playing around with me because I called him a beast? I thought I was going to die.....)
THIS PAAAARRTTTTTTT IM ALSO OBSEESED WITH 'i had prepared myself for death' JKADBKAD I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME. guy who doesnt act like both owen & mithra could easily kill them
also what da hell was the next part about. when akira can wish that mithra wouldnt do things thatd make ppl misunderstand & dislike him. also oz giving tips to akira on how to make mithra sleep but its just ways to make kids sleep,,,,,the dad,,,
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stayxlix · 1 year
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helloooo!!🩵 how are you?? I've taken some rest (and yes, I did reread otde...) but I wanted to thank you for even reacting to the playlist! I'm so glad I got to share it with you and introduce you to some new artists! I still listen to yours and I agree with you saying that both yours and mine give off the same vibe! They definitely do and i honestly love that sm! 💗 since I reread the story I got a ton of motivation ( and an amazing mood, god i love this story so much omfg) so be prepared for the moodboard AND the playlist bc my mind's just full of ideas rn also, thank you so much for giving me such nice replies, it feels like you really read all of my rants and it just makes me so happy ajwhehhehe i always get so so so excited and overall happy when you reply😭🩵buuut I got share something with you🤭
So I've been thinking what types of love/ tropes could fit with Felix and aside from best friends 2 lovers and enemies 2 lovers, I think the type of love where both love each other so much that it slowly eats away at them is so fitting! Like the type where they are always together, doing everything together to the point where they don't even know anything beyond each other — they know it's slowly ruining them but they don't care as long as they are together, and they always put each other before anyone else which kind of ends up with the losing a few friends/aqquantiences but they still just really don't care because, you know, the still have each other. the kind where they love each other with their own bones, know everything about the other by heart. Lets say, the type of love where it slowly ruins them, without them even knowing. I feel like this fits Felix so much,bc he's so nice and sweet that before you could even begin to notice that what you two have may be a bit unhealthy, you'd just simply be to deep and wouldn't be able to imagine a life without him. like soulmates / twin flames but a bit twisted 🤔 why I'm saying this is, because i think that mc and felix in otde are so tied together that in some future, this could potentially fit them (not neccessarily perfectly but it's there, you know what I mean?) , since they're going through the hardest times together, but also bc I feel like you might like this trope! Unfortunately, I haven't seen anyone write for Felix (which makes me a bit mad so I might as well do it myself)
But that's all for today's rant! Hopefully it wasn't too long🫠 as always stay safe and take care, love you sm! 🩵💗
welcome back my🩵🩵 i’ve been wondering how the rest of your week has been!! i’m glad you got to rest (and do a little reading🤭) i’ve been pretty good, but im so ready for the weekend lol.🫠
omg no need to thank me for reacting to the playlist, to be honest i’ve already come back to it multiple times since you sent it my way💕 it makes me so happy to hear that you feel motivated just from re-reading the story because i feel the same about your playlist, having all of these new songs to write to has certainly helped me get a good start on chapter 5.🤭 and i hope you know how excited it makes me to hear that you're planning to make the moodboard too?!?! if it comes from you then i already know it’ll be a masterpiece, and now i have even more motivation to look forward in the future!! you’re spoiling me🩵🥹 i love your “rants” (every single word!!) please never stop sending them, they are so special to me and put the biggest smile on my face no matter what time of day it is or wherever i am when i read them :) i dont think ill ever be able to express how much i appreciate them but ill continue to do my best to try💕
oohh something to share you say….🤭
“I think the type of love where both love each other so much that it slowly eats away at them is so fitting!” 
AND I THINK YOU’RE ONTO SOMETHING HERE. i completely, totally, one HUNDRED percent agree with you. this is SO Felix i can’t even put into words how much i enjoyed reading this because YES. just yes. like the type of love where its totally harmless at first, right? there’s this unexplainable connection between them that neither of them can ignore...even from the first time they see each other. and then they start spending more and more time together because they just can’t help it. and soon they're all each other can think about, and they’re not even trying to do things like push others away but they continue to let it happen, because they’re just so intoxicated with each other you know???? (omg i could go on forever) and i think felix is the perfect person for this trope because like you said, he’s so sweet and i can see him getting completely wrapped up in his partner because of how much he seems to genuinely care for those around him (and i mean vice versa, who wouldn’t get tunnel vision for felix????) the idea of soul mates and twin flames is great and all, don’t get me wrong, but take something that’s supposed to be innocent and make it a little twisted?? that is RIGHT up my alley. and i think it perfectly suits our main duo in otde because they're already feeling that pull toward each other and it's only natural that their bond will grow even stronger because of what they're currently going through/will go through together in the future....🫢
so in conclusion..you are a a genius🩵🩵my mind is already buzzing with inspiration from reading this🤭 and it makes me want to pick your brain even further to find out what other brilliant ideas you have hiding in there lol. okay okay im cutting myself off here (i am so very sorry for how embarrassingly long this😂) thank you so much once again for the inspiration💕🤗 i hope you have a wonderful weekend, it always makes my day to see the little blue hearts in my inbox, ily so very much🩵🩵
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hellskitchenswhore · 2 years
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I dont know if you know this one, but im looking for a fanfic between Matt and a reader and the reader is a fashion student. And the reader sews daredevil a jacket because its getting colder and then she accidentally meets Matt who is wearing the jacket she sewed for daredevil. Its ok if you can't! I'm just losing my mind trying to find it because its one of my favorite fanfics. I also just want to thank you for your blog because I love being able to come here and read or reread fanfics and find new ones that I haven't seen or be able to go for a certain genre that im in the mood for. Thank you sm!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Anon! ♥️💕🥰 Honestly, I’m so happy that it helps anyone at all, and especially that it helps share these wonderful stories! And I do know the story you’re looking for! I read it ages ago, but only just recently added it to my lists because I’m months behind on updating them (I know, I know!) But it is such a great fic, it’s called Stitched Up by @silversweetpea, and you can find it on my #love list, Volume 2! Happy reading!! ☺️
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angy-mouse · 2 years
Note
cw: food
mouse !!! i have tried something new today and i’m very very proud of myself cause i am a very picky eater i tried onions on tacos and it is very very good :) !!
also i’m thinking about starting writing little blurbs smut and fluff and maybe some angst do you have any advice about starting writing ?
also i was just going through your boundaries to make sure this was okay to send you and me and you have a lot in common when it comes to boundaries i knew it was a good idea to follow you <3
also i changed my theme yay
i’m so sorry this was a lot but i am in a good mood for some reason and i felt like sharing to you. i hope you’re having a wonderful day and if not i hope you know that you make my days wonderful every time i come to your blog :)
thats sick, i recently retried ham which i always hated but it was really good this time so then i tried a ham and cheese and i think it has potential to become a safe food so #relatable (halfway through making this post i tried a hersheys truffle and it was nasty so win some lose some ig)
also sorry but i dont give advice i hate myself and 95% of what i create and the other 5% everyone else hates so deuces homes
also yeah every once in a while im like maybe im being too harsh and thats why ppl dont like to chat anymore, then i reread and its 'minors back off for your own good, i dont like drama, these are the nicknames im comfortable with, i need tone indicators to comprehend text, dont try to get in my pants' like thats it, i didn't even include the whole sexist homophobic ableist etc stay away bc tbh that should be an understanded thing imo
also its still not handsome kpop group NCT-themed so i remain dissappoint /j
sweet that you're in a good mood. I am not having a wonderful day. I accept your compliment.
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kadssp · 3 years
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Todays been shit there was a bug in my bathroom my cat threw up all over the stairs and my cheater ex was texting me,, so have some soft springtrap
Despite being a mean bully like 90% of time springs can be nice and gentle when he wants to be. He almost never says it but he genuinely does care. I mean,, youre the first person to talk and be nice to him in 30 years. Of course he cares.
He's not too adept with emotions (other than horny,,) so it takes him a bit to realize that youre genuinely having a bad day rather than just being a brat to get him in the mood and/or piss him off. He finally picks up that you're not okay when you swat his robotic hand away when he tries feeling up your thigh, and you roll away from him and wrap yourself up in a blanket.
He's a horny mean old rabbit but he knows when his little bunny needs him to be soft with her. Gently he picks you up off the couch and slides you in his lap with him down on the floor, cradling you close to his furry, disheveled chest. He'll take his robotic fingers and brush the hair out of your eyes, and will let you vent if you need too. His hands are still possesive as they lay on you, but he's not trying to get you in the mood like he normally does. He holds you real tight against him and might even start to purr if you wrap your little arms around him and stroke his fur. Springs can't kiss you but he nuzzles his rabbit nose against your neck and cheeks, his ego welling up again when he makes you smile.
If you fall asleep with him holding you his ego will blow up even bigger (if its possible). Its really tempting to feel you up right then but he refrains. Perhaps later he can give you some stress relief. But for now he's perfectly content holding his sleepy baby bunny close.
"Come here, bunny. Let me take a look at ya. Don't pout at me, now come here... There you are. No, no I'm not planning anything. I just wanna... hold you a bit. Wh- I am being serious! If i wanted something else you'd already know it by now. Just.. be still. Lemme just hold you a bit. See? Im not as mean as you say I am. Well, not all the time. You had a bad day, huh? Yeah, I could tell. It's okay bunny, it's over now. Just relax a bit, alright? I promise I'm not gonna be rough with you... Oh, just look at you. Even now you're trembling. Cute little bunny. My little bunny. Just relax my pretty girl. Let this bucket of bolts just hold you for a bit. We can save our normal routine for later."
-🍨 anon
i gatekept this dont be mad at me </3 it’s been a rough week so i’ve been rereading this almost every hour or chance ive been free :(
sighh springs i’d do anything for one day with the crazed murderous decaying rabbit animatronic i love you 🍨 anon kissing you rn /p
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versadies · 3 years
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💌.
[ Warning: Long Ask Ahead;; I apologize in advance! ]
Dear Dan, 🍰 anon has malfunctioned. The first sentence was already a lethal blow.
Anyways, I have to admit that I never really expected THAT RESPONSE. I literally went SO flustered when I read ur responses😳😭😤
I literally felt like crumbling, melting, evaporating, electro-charging, superconducting, crystallizing, burning, freezing and swirling bc of that. 😭
These past few days after being an anon of yours my heart became filled with excitement for every response of yours 😭 i thought it's because of stress, medications or maybe food but I can def confirm it's bc of excitement and if you'd like me to visualize it, just think of Gorou with star-shaped eyes and a wagging tail, awaiting for his pats and dog food 😭 but instead of those, it's your responses,,
I never knew I'd be looking forward to your responses THIS MUCH 😰🤔🤭
If you are astounded, I am more astounded. Like SO MUCH!! I have to calm my heart down because the EFFECT you have on me is so 😭💝 my goodness. My heart is literally breaking out my chest bc of how sweet you are. 😤👹
If you only know I was ranting so much about "this one nice author" which is you, to my friend yesterday 😭😭😭 At the start, I literally stated that I won't be talking a lot as an anon, but I guess things are different now huh 🤔🤭
I am very glad that you are excited abt my long messages too!! IT DEALT THE FINAL BLOW TO ME!!! 😤😭
It really matters to me to sincerely tell my friends or people I adore my genuine feelings and do my best to put it into words at least :D Just like that sentence of yours, I didn't knew I needed to hear it ! <3 It made my day x1000000 better!! 😤💘But also made my heart beat x1000000 faster !! 😭
If you couldn't get enough of it, I would also say the same for your responses 🥺
I hope you know that I reread your responses over and over again simply because IT FELT SO UNREAL for you to exist,,, since you are too sweet and nice 😭💘💗 Your responses really makes me feel so nice and fuzzy inside 🤩
About the Mona Lisa song, YES!!! My friend LOVES it! Told me it is very cute and they actually expected it to be a melancholic kind of song, but they were greeted instead of a cheerful and cute song. I'm glad to be able to share it to them thanks to you!~ 💕
&!! I always forget to tell you about me actually knowing that you could play music in the sidebar ever since the prev theme layout! However, there is something new that I've found out just recently, which is that there's a total of 3 tracks available that you could play just by clicking the fast forward button <3 I love that there is music that is available to be played to set the mood or to simply vibe while exploring or reading something in your blog! 🤩
And no bc... I am still at a loss of words for you,,,, this is me trying😔😔😔 SO TAKE THIS!!!! 💘💗💓💝💕💖💌❤️❣️ TAKE THIS LOVE BC U DESERVE IT!!!!!! 💓💖💝💕💗💘❤️❣️💌 It is too much for my heart to take, yet please keep being sweet anyways 🥰😘 Everyone loves it!!!💖
Thank you so much for warming my heart so much, Dan! 💗🔥(As well as the people who supports you!) It hasn't been a long time since I became a part of your anon team, but it was already so nice around :D
— the 🍰 anon was too stunned to speak.
AAAAA im quite flattered that you feel that way bcuz you’re really fun to talk to <33 youre a sweet person and im glad that i have an anon like you !! and dont apologize for sending a long ask because i literally LOVE them — esp since you’re rlly genuine 🥺🥺🥺 please continue as much as you like :DDDD !!! im also glad that you like the songs i chose for my desktop theme and the fact that your friend loves the mona lisa song <33
and ofc all of your hearts and wholesomeness are accepted with care, and for payment i shall send lots of hearts as well !!! tAKE IT 💗💖💗💝💓💘💌💝💟❤️‍🔥❤️🧡💚💙💜💕💞❣️💛🖤🥰
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nextstopparis · 3 years
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25-30💛
ahhhh omg thank you!!!!!!!:D<33
25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?
oooooo hm. ok. i really like listeningto 'good life' by onerepublic whenever im in a good mood bc it makes me feel like. really happy. in a content way. (also its a bit nostalgic but never mind that)
26. Do you usually remember your dreams?
hmmmmm. i dont actually know? i think i do? not for a long time but ill probably remember a dream the next day. maybe. the fact that i cant remember them long term is sort of messing up my answer kdcjlsjc i THINK i do, though.
27. Have you ever written a love letter?
OH MY GOD. ok. this just like. dug up ~childhood memories that i buried~ lol. so when iwas in elementary i had a crush on this guy, right. and like hell was i ever gonna tell anyone, so i was sort of. dying to say something to someone but also like. completely averse to the idea of actually telling anyone. so, you know. obviously the only option was to write it down!! so i wrote a fucking letter!!! and it was fine and whatever, i said what i needed to say and then i folded it and threw it in the back of my closet and didnt think about it again for like a year. and then ONE DAY. one day, i was hanging out with my friend who was NOSY AS FUCK, and she was snooping through my stuff, and i - poor, little tiny lizard brained me - had forgotten of the letter's Existence.
so, i bet, you can imagine little? 11? year old mes shock/horror wHEN MY FRIEND FOUND THE FUCKING LETTER AND READ IT. i think that was when my soul died, actually.
i know that the question called for a yes or no answer but if i had to live and relive the embarrassment now you must also live with the second hand embarrassment, sorry.
28. Name a book you don’t mind reading over and over.
OK SO I JUST FINISHED REBECCA BY DAPHNE DU MAURIER AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. i cannot stop thinking about it (ok, well, in all honesty im mostly thinking about the narrator because i LOVE HER but still)(i read a stupid essay or article or whatever calling her an 'unreliable narrator' and its like. shes an unreliable narrator TO YOU. i dont have trust issues, though, and trust her with my life. ugh. anyway). im like this close to handcuffing my hands so that i wont try to reread it again like 5 days after finishing it. idk if my feelings will stay this way, or if im just still in the infatuation stage, but thats the first book to come to mind.
the obvious answer, the one that i genuinely have read like three times (which is a lot for me bc i dont reread books omg dont judge me) is pride and prejudice. OF COURSE. pride and prejudice my BELOVED. i love that book so much. i dont even have words. but definitely pride and prejudice.
(also honourable mentions to the song of achilles and the promise bc that are the only other two books ive been able to reread).
29. Do you collect anything? And what are some hobbies you have?
i collect favours from my enemies. no jk lol i dont collect anything:( my hobbies are. um. reading fanfic. sometimes i try to write it but eh. i live a very exciting life, evidently.
30. What do you do to feel at peace?
if i ever figure it out, i will definitely let you know! at the moment, the things that bring me closest to feeling peace are lying to myself by downplaying situations and also just outright ignoring them!
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