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#in any case... here's to hoping i can get judgement sometime soon
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Actually yeah, I was just meme-ing but there are some wonderful moms in Judgment too! And I'm sure Haruka and Kiyomi are doing a pretty good job, aside from that. Hopefully soonish I'll be able to contribute to your Judgment Fund <3
y6 doesnt even exist in my brain oh my god. haruka bb you didnt go through all that trauma just for me to forget youre a whole-ass mom now my child im so sorry
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thesensteawitch · 7 months
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Messages From Your Ancestors 🎃🌻💚
🥀Halloween Special
Pick A Pile Reading (Harry Potter Edition 👻⚡)
--------(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)---------
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Hello, Senstea Souls!
This is a magical reading! Those who respect the dead and feel grateful to be alive are welcome to take this reading. 🪄
Pile 1
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Tarot Cards- Judgement, Five of Pentacles, Ten of Pentacles, The Empress, Queen of Cups, The Emperor, Nine of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles
Bottom of the deck- Three of Swords
Zodiac signs- Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo, Aquarius
Your House- Gryffindor
Charms- Fairy, Snake, Angel Wing, Pegasus.
Message from Hogwarts
Magic only touches the lives of the people who think out of the box. We love weird wizards. So don't be afraid to bring something new to our door.
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Welcome Pile 1 to the world of ancestors. Apparently, they are all in Hogwarts celebrating Halloween. They are here to give a very special message. They didn't want to visit Hogwarts at first because the idea of it seems nowhere near to the idea of heaven. But they noticed that their following generation is fascinated by the school of wizardry. Sometimes guardians have no choice but to enter into the world of their children. And sometimes they even find it fun. This Halloween your ancestors are asking you to believe in the power of words but do not let illusions or narratives fool you. Try finding the truth with the help of words. They see your thoughts piercing your soul. You have such a sharp mind and such sharpness must be dealt with caution. Keep your hands stable while writing your story. They are telling you that you are brave but don't fool yourself into thinking that bravery is only needed to overcome the challenges. Bravery is also needed to have fun and be playful. You are so fascinated by fantasy. They want you to know that go there and enjoy by all means but don't forget where you belong. Don't forget the real world where you are sent to perform actions, where you are supposed to write your story. Don't forget to come back to the reality. Fantasy is beautiful so take inspiration from it. Manifest enchanting things in your reality. Pile 1 I clearly see that you are creating something, bringing more life into this world. But sometimes it feels too exhausting for you to believe that you are even going to reach your destination. But your ancestors are telling you not to lose hope. You are about to find your answer. You are about to find the hope you've been looking for. But you must not let your inner spark die because only that can take you to your desired places. Very soon you're going to be so blessed pile 1. Abundance is soon to be found. Your cards are so favorable and beautiful. Love, finances, victory, creation everything is coming your way. Just don't be too rigid or serious. Enjoy the flow of life with all its ups and downs. You're soon going to hit your luck! Your ancestors are supporting you and are warning you to not let melancholy dim the light of your joyous heart. You need to change the way you look at the world and the world you look at will change. Your ancestors have a very clear message which says that fulfillment is just around the corner. Do not worry at all. You're soon going to find your home. You just need to click a button in your life that will bring inspiration and spiritual flight. Take care of your health and have faith in your plans. You're about to get showered with so many beautiful blessings. You are going to bear the fruits of your hard work. Much love to you, pile 1.
Book your Halloween Reading only at $10. Click ‘here’ to land on the order form. You can drop a message in my inbox in case of any questions.
Pile 2
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Tarot cards- The Hanged Man, The World, Three of Pentacles, Seven Pentacles, Page of Wands, Eight of Swords, Ace of Cups, Two of Wands
Bottom of the deck- The Magician
Zodiac signs- Aries, Sagittarius, Cancer, Leo
Your House- Slytherin
Charms- Squirrel, Pegasus, Angel Wing, Key
Message from Hogwarts
Do not block the messages we have been sending you. You're being invited to claim your power.
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My dear pile 2 your ancestors have been communicating to you through synchronosities/angel numbers. They are telling you that there is a way out of the situation you think you are stuck in. They have been asking you to come out of the limbo phase. It's like you've tied yourself down within the cage of your thoughts. They have been warning you about someone or something for a very long time. Your ancestors also want you to know that this Halloween they are hosting the party at Hogwarts. And in the middle of all managing all the things they found some time for you to reach out to you. This means that they want you to come out of your comfort zone. They can't see you in pain. They aren't asking you to exhaust yourself in the pursuit of productivity. They want you to have fun too! They are saying that you have a long way to go and are you are giving up so soon. They don't want you to sacrifice to the extent that you lose sight of your destiny and life. You overdoing some things in your life. They are asking you to find balance. Do you remember the golden egg in Harry Potter? The same card came in your reading too. There's a truth that you are not seeing. You need to open your heart to get access to this golden egg and finally hear the beautiful truth that will put you out of the loop you're currently in. Only in the quiet, you can listen to the voice of the divine mother. Spend time near water, it will bring answers to you. Your ancestors are asking you to get comfortable with vulnerability. Tears and heavy chests will bring the weighing answers. The illusion will be washed away from your sight and soon you will see the truth if you allow yourself to get comfortable with some difficult questions. You have the key to get out of this situation. Don't think you're alone. Nothing in your life is a coincidence. There's a divine intervention happening in your life. There's a book they are asking you to read. And I sense it's regarding the situation you are going through. Your ancestors want you to know that your mind has great capabilities. It can manifest things so easily. Use it for your benefit. You are fooling yourself by thinking that you are being patient. It's not patience it's resistance. Perhaps you think that you are not ready yet and that's why you're not seeing any results either. Focus on the solution and not the problem. You will find your way out. You don't need anyone else to complete you. You are a whole person. God bless you, pile 2. May you find your way out of this tough situation!
Book your Halloween Reading only at $10. Click ‘here’ to land on the order form. You can drop a message in my inbox in case of any questions.
Pile 3
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Tarot Cards- Eight of Wands, The Emperor, The High Priestess, Six of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, Knight of Swords, Temperance
Bottom of the deck- Seven of Cups
Zodiac Signs- Gemini, Libra, Scorpio, Pisces
Your House- Ravenclaw
Charms- Musical note, Dolphin, Eye, Lock
Message from Hogwarts
We want to see what lies at the core of your heart before your marksheets and degrees. We know your speed so we hope that it will take no time for you to walk in with an open heart and quiet mind.
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Your ancestors are quite confused about what to take to the Halloween party at Hogwarts. They have heard a lot about Hogwarts so they don't know what precious gift would fit for such a place. It's their first time attending a Halloween party. But they are trying their best to keep their calm. And in the midst of all this, they are here to convey a message. Your life may be moving too fast lately and you may be asked to make a quick decision. You impulsively may have made a few mistakes too. They want you to take your life like a musical note. No matter how fast or slow the music is, if you resist it you will never be able to flow with it. Dance with the song of life. They are asking you to not take things so seriously. They know that you have a future ahead and it's life we are talking about so how can you not be serious, right? Wrong! That's the point. It's just life it'll be over before you know it. Recall how you started things. With passion and hope. Be a bit naive there's nothing wrong with that. We are all a student in the school of life. You must enjoy it a little. Give gifts this Halloween. Balance your emotions. Life is a mix of pleasant and unpleasant moments. Your ancestors are saying that you're so smart they don't even need to tell you this. After all, you belong to the Ravenclaw house. It's good that you have things planned out but don't let your life be so insignificant to be designed on a sheet of paper. I also see that you are either too emotional at times or too rational. And when you are put off balance you choose to become rigid and like an old man who doesn't smile. Emotions confuse you and you sometimes try to escape them. Thoughts challenge you but being too much in your head makes you lose your wit. It seems that you have your life in balance but you don't. Your logic comes in the way of your intuition. The war between your logic and intuition has left you confused and tired. But your ancestors are giving a wink and asking you to fool your thoughts. Do things with your heart. Trick your mind and treat your heart. Don't let your mind steal the joy out of your life. Use your intellect where it's needed. In the matters of love use your heart. You are singing the wrong note. You are not letting the world see your playful spirit. I hope you find your balance, pile 3. Sending you love and light.
Book your Halloween Reading only at $10. Click ‘here’ to land on the order form. You can drop a message in my inbox in case of any questions.
BELOW IS THE IMAGE OF THE HALLOWEEN READING SPREAD!🌹
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Other Link:
Explore My Rate Card (In case you would like to book some other reading)
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thedickgraysonrp · 4 months
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I have some new followers recently, so to y'all out there, both new and old: Hey there and Welcome (back)!
Below the line are some questions answered to get you started:
How do I interact with your muse?
You can send me an IM if you have any plot or idea you had in mind and we can discuss something out. You can also send an IM just to say you're interested and we'll work something out.
You can send any meme or ask you'd like that I reblogged here, they will be under #rp memes or the 'memes' section in my blog.
You can also send headcanon requests, questions or dash games if you want to get to know the muse better.
If you're shy or unsure, you can also send me anons.
I will be working on updated open starters soon, so you can keep an eye out for that as well.
Please make sure to read the rules before you interact.
You are not following me back, does that mean you don't want to interact?
No, that's not the case. I usually follow blogs who I've already had interacted with for some time, or blogs I had interest in and followed first. If we've never interacted before, I don't follow back. I also unfollow blogs who I am no longer interacting with to clean up my dash. This blog is semi-selective, but it's not mutual exclusive. We can talk and RP together even if we're not mutuals. Neither you or I have any obligation to follow each other for the sake of being mutuals if either of us don't feel like it. That being said, if we already have some interaction and we wrote a little together and had something good going, I'll likely follow you back. Please pay attention that I do not interact with muns who are under 21 and their age (or age range) is not stated in the blog.
We roleplayed in the past but our thread died/you didn't reply/I didn't reply/etc., do you still want to roleplay?
First and foremost, if we had a thread going and I didn't reply for a while, please do let me know. I might have forgotten, given that I both study and work at the same time and my head isn't always here. That being said, sometimes I do prefer replying to some threads first than others, but I eventually get to everything. You can always send me an IM about picking up an old thread, trying something new, etc. I no longer use a RP thread tracker because I keep forgetting to add or remove threads from there. If you haven't replied for a long time, I'm not going to pester you. I just assume you are very busy, prefer to reply to other threads first or just no longer interested. In either case, there's no judgements or grudges held, and I don't keep anyone here by force.
Everything else should be written in my carrd and rules, which you can find in the pinned post. If you still have any questions, feel free to ask me in the comments or an IM.
Thank you for following and I hope we can make some amazing roleplays together!
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thecreativeforge · 4 months
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I have some new followers recently, so to y'all out there, both new and old: Hey there and Welcome (back)!
Below the line are some questions answered to get you started:
How do I interact with your muses?
You can send me an IM if you have any plot or idea you had in mind and we can discuss something out. You can also send an IM just to say you're interested and we'll work something out.
You can send any meme or ask you'd like that I reblogged here, they will be under #//memes or the 'memes' section in my blog.
You can also send headcanon stuff, general questions or dash games if you want to get to know a muse better.
If you're shy or unsure, you can also send me anons.
I will be working on more open starters soon, so you can keep an eye out for that as well.
Please make sure to read the rules before you interact.
You are not following me back, does that mean you don't want to interact?
No, that's not the case. I usually follow blogs who I've already had interacted with for some time, or blogs I had interest in and followed first. If we've never interacted before, I don't follow back. I also unfollow blogs who I am no longer interacting with to clean up my dash. This blog is semi-selective, but it's not mutual exclusive. We can talk and RP together even if we're not mutuals. Neither you or I have any obligation to follow each other for the sake of being mutuals if either of us don't feel like it. That being said, if we already have some interaction and we wrote a little together and had something good going, I'll likely follow you back. Please pay attention that I do not interact with muns who are under 21 and their age (or age range) is not stated in the blog.
We roleplayed in the past but our thread died/you didn't reply/I didn't reply/etc., do you still want to roleplay?
First and foremost, if we had a thread going and I didn't reply for a while, please do let me know. I might have forgotten, given that I both study and work at the same time and my head isn't always here. That being said, sometimes I do prefer replying to some threads first than others, but I eventually get to everything. You can always send me an IM about picking up an old thread, trying something new, etc. I no longer use a RP thread tracker because I keep forgetting to add or remove threads from there. If you haven't replied for a long time, I'm not going to pester you. I just assume you are very busy, prefer to reply to other threads first or just no longer interested. In either case, there's no judgements or grudges held, and I don't keep anyone here by force.
Everything else should be written in my carrd and rules, which you can find in the pinned post. If you still have any questions, feel free to ask me in the comments or an IM.
Thank you for following and I hope we can make some amazing roleplays together!
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cel-aerion · 1 year
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Okay I feel like this is gonna get unwieldy if I try to send it as an ask so I'm just gonna tag @monty-glasses-roxy and start a new post (since reblogs with asks get weird, or at least they used to, and old habits die hard). Original post is here, but I'll also quote the relevant bits just for ease of reading.
"Yeah Chica being afraid of flying is really funny, especially if she's scared of literally nothing else. Not a single other thing has ever phased her but this one singular mode of transport makes her nervous."
"If we were meant to fly, we'd have wings." "Don't you technically have wings?" "Yeah and I can't fly with them so clearly evolution knew it had absolutely fucked up with that one."
"...they settle on meeting up at the local bowling alley that her brother (she calls Bonnie her brother) happens to run."
Others (Monty and Chica when they all meet up, yeah, but it's happened before and it will happen again) ask how a wolf and rabbit could be siblings. Bonnie eternally delights in giving absolutely ludicrous answers, usually involving an elaborate backstory and meandering plots. Roxy will too, sometimes, but she's more likely to just be annoyed at people for asking stupid questions - Monty and Chica are probably fine when they ask, because they're genuinely curious and want to know more about their new friend, but a lot of others are probably more judgemental or nosy about it. Anyways, the moment Bonnie knew he approved of Roxy's new friends was when he made up one of these explanations, as per, and Monty immediately replied with, "Oh, and here I thought maybe it was [insert equally lengthy and ridiculous explanation here]."
"And yeah, Roxy doesn't have a lot of friends so this was a shock to everyone that knew her lmao. "What do you mean you were dying on a plane and made two new friends??? What, did the Reaper and their wife take pity on you or what???""
"The Reaper" and "The Reaper's Wife" become Monty and Chica's nicknames as a result of this. Probably in that order. But possibly not.
"Actually, it would be kinda funny if none of them had a particularly large amount of friends and due to this one layover flight, their friendship group suddenly tripled in size."
I can see this being the case, but like, in different ways. Roxy is gruff, and awkward, and this combination probably makes those who don't know her think she's mean, or at least cold, so she mostly just withdraws instead of letting people see that she's upset about this perception, and over time she becomes hesitant to reach out to make friends because it's easier to not go through all that again, which of course just makes others thing she's even more distant, and it's a terrible cycle (and actually, maybe her being airsick unintentionally helped combat against this, because when you're feeling that awful, you're not really able to have any walls up, but I digress). And then on the other hand, I can see Chica being one of those... I don't want to say "popular girls," because that has a particular connotation, but like... she's one of those who's always friendly, she's pretty chill with a lot of people, she has friends she can hang out with for a day out shopping or something, but not Friends who she would feel comfortable spilling her guts out to or anything like that. And... unfortunatley I have no ideas for Monty at this moment, but you get the idea.
And slightly related, but I take back a bit of what I said in my original ask, or at least I'm changing the context: I don't think Roxy would be trying to play it cool when they meet in person just for the sake of her image. I think it's more likely she's just trying to not get her hopes up, what if this falls apart, what if she says the wrong thing, better to not get too emotionally invested until you're sure. But of course, as the outing goes on, that becomes less of a concern, and pretty soon she forgets to be anxious.
"Like, Monty and Chica clicked so fast and then all it takes is a little competition and almost getting kicked out of a bowling alley for bowling crimes for the pair of them to click with Roxy."
Not quite what's being said here, but it's sparked in me a mental image that while Monty and Chica are getting to know Roxy, and start to see that what they thought was indifference was just uncertainty and insecurities, they both independently come to the conclusion of "omg absolutely must protecc this puppy."
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losthomunculus · 3 years
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Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet
On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips
Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience
This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!
Information Sharing
Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.
Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.
Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”
Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.
Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.
Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.
Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.
Importance of Boundaries
It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.
Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.
Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.
Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.
If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.
If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.
The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."
Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.
Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.
Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.
Being Constantly Online
The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.
Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.
Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.
Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.
Arguments and Competition
As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.
It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!
On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.
To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.
Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.
Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.
This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).
Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.
Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.
By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.
Misc Tidbits
these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.
Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult
Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)
Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?
Final Thoughts
It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.
Be cautious and stay safe
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obeiii-mee · 3 years
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Can I angst for Mammon where he is in a really bad mood and his brothers are at it again calling him names. And already ask them kindly to leave him alone but they keep at it. And Levi says something and it's the last straw. The air around them get cold for a moment as he slowly looks up and he flat out threatens them to shut up before he puts them back into there place with a really dark and threatening voice, before leaving. And the look could rival Satan's or even Lucifers glare.
I think Mammon takes the abuse of his brothers but sometimes he isn't in the mood and want a little peace and it is very very rare for him to get pissed
Like he's the kind of person who would yell when he's upset but when he's down right pissed it's like really fucking scary
People forget that as much as he lets his brothers push him around he is still the second oldest and is powerful so 😬
Brothers+ undateables reaction
Mammon snaps:
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This is something I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but I basically second everything you said. I believe that Mammon dislikes getting into confrontations but isn’t by any means weak or stupid. He is the second eldest. However he is also, arguably, the one with the most self control out of them all. He has an overwhelming amount of patience when it comes to his siblings and I like to think he puts up with all of their insults because he loves them. Then again, it’s very possible for him to go berserk after years worth of build up.
Thanks for the request!!! I had a bit of trouble at first because I didn’t know how I was going to format it but I like the way it turned out so I hope you do too. Uhh also I reached my word limit writing this so I couldn’t include Simon, Luke and Solomon. I do plan on writing for them as well but at this point I’m just trying to get this done. Let me know if I made any grammatical errors! I double check my writing all the time but sometimes mistakes got over my head! The undateables are short because honestly I view the brothers as the ones who will suffer the most out of everyone. I hope you enjoy reading it anyway!!
•Characters: Lucifer, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphagour, Diavolo, Barbatos.
⚠️Warnings: Cursing, mentions of blood & gore and that’s about it.
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For the past few months, Lord Diavolo’s pleasure of hosting parties and inviting people over had become more and more noticeable. It was pretty obvious that the Prince was lonely, isolating himself from others due to the responsibilities he has as the heir to the throne and a leader in the making. Attending his gatherings seemed like a down right chore for most of the brothers but you never had any problem tagging along. Besides, it felt nice knowing he seemed you worthy of coming to such important meetings. Your seven demons were, of course, also invited and per Lucifer’s orders, they all got cleaned up and dressed in fancy clothing to impress the regals prancing about the castle. Though the outfits themselves came with their own set of problems. Levi’s was way too tight; the collar seemed to annoy him more than anything else, judging by the patches of red skin on his neck. Satan accidentally ripped one of the buttons from his jacket off in a fit of rage earlier that day and was now silently fuming while poking his finger through the hole he made. Even Asmo spilled some water on his shirt before they arrived, ruining his pretty pink suit! Not to mention Beel was munching on his tie, having last eaten about 15 minutes beforehand. Lucifer pulled it out of his mouth and scowled at the saliva stains that were left behind. Safe to say they were all in a miserable mood to begin with.
“I expect all of you to behave in a respectable manner,” Lucifer flicked Belphie on the back of the head just as he began dozing off, making the youngest growl at him. He shot Mammon an irritated look “I’m especially talking to you Mammon. Don’t try to steal anything or I’ll cut your hands off.”
“I told ya big bro, ya don’t have to worry about me! I’ll be a golden child today! Promise!” Mammon held up his pinky as if he was committing to some kind of oath. The eldest darkened his glare and opened his mouth to say something else, but you interrupted in hopes of avoiding any bickering that might’ve followed.
“Look, there’s our table! Let’s go sit down. Lord Diavolo’s speech is going to start any minute now.”
Beel leaped at the table as soon as he sniffed out the appetisers, which were neatly arranged on the expensive tablecloth, shoving at least half of them in his mouth by the time the rest of you caught up with him. Having been seated, you quickly glanced around the room in hopes of spotting Diavolo. You bumped into Solomon and the angels before entering the castle, chit chatting with them for a while about the event. Even now, Luke was excitedly waving at you from across the room, using both of his arms. However, Lord Diavolo and Barbatos were the ones in charge of this party and you were yet to see either of them.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Mammon eyeing the golden utensils laid out in front of him. Not the biggest of surprises really. Anytime Mammon sees something along the lines of gold, he can’t help but snatch it away. And there’s obviously so many valuables scattered all over the place, including the silverware that was proudly presented on every table. You sucked in a breath of anticipation when he reached for one of the spoons, only to exhale in relief when he placed it on the bridge of his nose, trying to balance it.
“MC, look at this!” He tapped your shoulder, as always wanting your full and undivided attention as he demonstrated his newfound skill. You giggled at his antics with fondness as he accidentally let the spoon drop with a clatter and a quiet ‘shit’ coming from him. Lucifer pulled on his ear, like a mother scolding her child and whisper-yelled at him to stop acting like an idiot. The only reason the oldest chose a sit right next to Mammon was to maintain order and peace. Basically, he did it for disciplinary reasons.
“I understand that being impertinent is your full-time job, Mammon but keep this up and I’ll throw you in Cerberus’ room. Let him do with you as he pleases.”
“Lucifer, it’s not a big deal-“
“Yeah, OK,” Mammon hissed, picking up the spoon from the recently polished floor with a slight grin that didn’t quiet reach his eyes “I gotcha. Can-“
“Speaking of Cerberus,” Levi suddenly piped in, no longer fussing about his collar or nervously twiddling with his thumbs because of the massive crowd of demons surrounding him “Didn’t you force me to walk him last week when it was your turn to do it?? I only agreed because you promised to buy me the newest Ruri-Chan limited edition body pillow that came out last Tuesday! And you never did! And now they’re out of stock, you scummy piece of-“
The third eldest would’ve leapt across the table and aimed for the throat if you hadn’t pressed a gentle hand against his chest, making him sit back down with a huff. People were starting to stare at the commotion coming from your table, turning heads and muttering between themselves. You were slowly dying from embarrassment by the way, since you guys definitely became the topic of conversation for the other guests. The brothers were being too noisy to even notice and Lucifer himself was too preoccupied to see the scene they were creating which made you further slouch down into your chair, silently hoping for the ground to swallow you whole. The night really wasn’t going as intended. You could hear Solomon laughing at the brothers’ antics from three tables down.
“I guess that’s Mammon for you,” Belphie yawned, barely raising his head from table “He lies everyday, all day. What exactly is new here? And that says something since it’s coming from me.”
“I apologised for that!” Mammon whined, referring to Levi’s accusation and choosing not to address Belphie’s insult “I was gonna buy it but then I realised I spent all my money earlier that week anyway so I couldn’t!”
“Perhaps that wouldn’t happen if you learned how to save the money you earn properly,” Satan muttered, sipping from his glass of whatever beverage he had snatched from the servants earlier “Not like you know how to earn money in any way besides stealing it.”
You watch as Mammon clenched his fist “Can we please just move on-“
“I can’t believe that I was cursed with this moron for a brother,” Asmo sighed, almost theatrically, as if he was performing. And, in a way, he was. People were getting really interested in the drama unfolding over there. It was making you even more anxious, all those eyes staring at you. The Avatar of Lust was leaning so much on his chair, you were sure he was going to topple over and at this point, you kinda hoped he would. Anything to stop this momentum of hatred aimed at Mammon “You’re always getting us in trouble, you know. Hmph, we can’t go anywhere with you Mammon! You always end up ruining it for us! With your stupid schemes and-“
“I’m hungry-“
“Not now, Beel!”
“Cutting him up into tiny pieces for the witches will always be an option,” Lucifer chimed in, smiling at the thought.
Mammon snapped his head upwards at that. It was such an abrupt reaction, it made you jolt a little in your seat. You couldn’t miss the tension radiating from him, how quickly his body stiffened and exactly how hard his hands were gripping the edge of the table. His brothers were still paying him no mind, blaming him for this and that under their breath or being silently judgemental in Lucifer’s case. You worried for him because Mammon rarely acted like this; feral, in a way. Just so you know, he definitely noticed it. The look of concern plastered all over your face. That’s the only reason he released the table from his vice-like grip and slouched back against his chair. Satan went quiet and was staring at Mammon in bewilderment.
He disliked the idea of you watching him lose control of himself. He was your guardian. Your first pact. It’s important to him that your relationship is build around a pillar of trust. And he can’t even expect you to trust him if he exposes you to his demon form every time something inconveniences him. Mammon would rather cease to exit than have you fear him. So he kept his breathing regulated as the fog cleared his mind. The Avatar of Greed isn’t an angry demon. Snuffing out the the flame of rage he had fanned up until then was relatively easy. He just needed to get through tonight, then he could go home and complain to you about it once he got out of his brothers’ earshot.
“Why does he get to spend so much time with MC anyway? He’d probably sell them for a few Grimm any time of the day, wouldn’t he? It’s so fucking unfair. He won’t change no matter what so why risk MC’s safety? I will summon Lotan on him if he starts getting on my nerves.”
It would be an understatement to say that those words rubbed Mammon the wrong way, judging by the lack of immediate response. It was unexpected for him keep his mouth shut at a time like this. What was even more unexpected was the abrupt, delayed reaction he had a few seconds afterwards, resulting in his chair being flung back about 5 feet in that general direction. The seemingly deafening thud it made when it collided with the floor echoed around the dining hall, bouncing off walls and whacking people over the heads with the aggression behind it. A moment of pure, indescribably loud silence filled the crowded space as everyone else stared in shock at their brother, mouths agape and eyes bulging out of their sockets. Mammon would’ve laughed at their faces if it weren’t for the circumstances leading up to that point.
“What gives any of you the right to treat me like some sort of punching bag?” Mammon drawled, accentuating his obviously superior nature to almost every single demon at that table. He laughed, in an oddly half hearted way, before his sea struck gaze landed back to his siblings “Do not try to push me into a corner, because I will not handle it well. You’ve been having a field day with me for centuries now and I’m starting to get really ticked off, ya know? But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’ve done everything in my power to keep MC alive for the past few months and y’all are acting as if I’m out here playing with their life. Complain about me all you want. But...” He thumped the table, loud enough to make all the noblemen in the room flinch.
“Don’t you dare insinuate that I would ever put MC in danger, willingly or not because I will rip out your insides and paint the walls of this palace with them while hanging your intestines from these chandeliers. I will pluck your hairs out one by one, then your nails, then your eyeballs and then your teeth. You’re the ones that have put MC in danger’s way time and time again in the past few weeks, and you’re out here trying to suggest that I would even think about hurting them? Unlike every single one of you, who almost killed my human-you’re lucky I don’t have your fucking heads.”
He smashed his fist into the table again, using even more of his strength this time and effectively breaking the whole thing, the wooden legs giving out and shattering into thousands of splinters. Mammon spoke again, his voice lowering “MC forgave you. I didn’t. And I have no reason to. Not with how you’ve been treating me.”Once he spit that out, Mammon turned on his heel and left, slamming the door shut behind him hard enough to shake the whole building, leaving his siblings in dazed awe.
......
Even more silence. For some reason, all of the brothers at the now broken table ended up looking your way, silently questioning what they should do. It often ended up like this
You gave them all an unimpressed stare and a half-assed shrug “Don’t look at me. You guys fucked up.” Before sliding out of your seat and following Mammon out of the castle, sending an apologetic smile to Diavolo on your way out. Hopefully, you could manage to calm him down before everyone else gets home otherwise this might drag on for a while.
Lucifer:
-In all honesty, he probably saw the signs from a mile away and still decided to ignore them
-Maybe because he believed they weren’t being all that harsh on him, even if in Mammon’s eyes they were
-‘Harsh’ in Lucifer’s vocabulary usually means being hanged upside down from a ceiling or publicly executed, not a couple of mere insults
-Not to mention the eldest had always been horrible at communicating with his brothers when it came to emotions
-Despite Mammon clearly suffering from the treatment he received from his brothers, Lucifer refuses to believe he’s the root of the problem
-As the Avatar of Pride, he always had a hard time realising that all those words and the constant teasing, which he deemed to be pretty harmless, scarred Mammon a lot more than expected
-Once he actually comes to that conclusion, and after getting over the initial shock, Lucifer would probably feel the guiltiest out of them all
-Being the eldest means he carries quite a few burdens on his shoulders as most responsibilities fall on him due to his prideful nature
-He would blame himself for Mammon’s outburst simply because he’s the older brother and he should’ve known better, not just because he sees how a big of a role he played in all of this
-Usually, if his brothers do something bad, then he’s there to fix it within hours, that’s how it always worked
-Except he doesn’t know how to fix this exactly
-The problem is he has no idea how to approach Mammon after that sudden meltdown and he has no idea how to talk it out with him because he sucks at expressing himself verbally
-And since this took place in a public space, Lord Diavolo’s Palace no less, he felt really conflicted on what should have been done at that moment in time
-There was a lot of frustration, embarrassment and confusion in him for a good five minutes after Mammon slammed that door shut behind him and even after he gathered his thoughts together, he was still in shock for the rest of the night
-In any case, the whole event was promptly cancelled and everyone ended up going home earlier than expected, after Lucifer apologised to Diavolo about the spectacle they created (several times)
-When they finally get home, he decided to give Mammon his space instead of trying to knock at his door and instead went back to his room
-He knows they will need to solve this matter soon but there’s no way Mammon will want to see, let alone talk, to any of them just yet
-He’s sort of hoping he can apologise best he can next morning at breakfast, cross his fingers and wish for the best but judging by the venom that laced Mammon’s voice the night before, it’s not likely he will forgive any of them that easily.
Levi:
-If I were to guess, he saw the ending credits of his life flash before his very eyes as soon as those words left his mouth
-Levi felt a panic in him like never before, not even while playing his engaging horror visual novels at 3am in complete darkness or that one time he used Lucifer’s credit card to buy merch before being found out
-Must’ve forgotten his brother technically ranks higher than him on the power scale for a second there
-Or maybe he didn’t think his insults were going to affect him much
-They usually don’t
-Or at least that’s the impression he’s been under for a while now
-Mammon doesn’t snap easily under pressure but Levi must’ve really hit a nerve there that night
-While everyone was sitting in a short silence after Mammon left the building, he started twiddling with his fingers again the more he thought about it
-Because now he went from nervous to fucking terrified of what the hell was waiting for him when he finally got home
-He does feel guilty, nowhere near as much guilt as Lucifer feels but still pure shame
-However most of that guilt is swallowed by a steady fear and the constant worry of ‘how do I stop my brother from killing me?’
-Unlike Lucifer, I honestly don’t see him taking any sort of initiative when it comes to apologising to Mammon
-Not even because he doesn’t want to, but he would freeze up if he were to come face to face with him after that incident and then scamper back to his room like a rat in hiding
-So without your help, it’s likely the two won’t be speaking to each very soon which can honestly make life at the House of Lamentation so much more miserable
-In the end, if either you or Lucifer forced him to, he would say sorry by selling some of his merch and then giving him the profits (in secret but we all know it’s him)
-That is a big sacrifice on Levi’s part considering how precious his merchandise is to him
-But the idea that he’s gonna get murdered in his sleep by his older brother was getting a tad too real
-Besides, Mammon is still his brother and if he has to sell a couple of items in order to make him less mad, he would do it, albeit with a bit of grumbling
-Despite that, Mammon still refuses to come out of his room and sort of relies on you to bring him food because he doesn’t want to see his brothers
-Levi and Mammon would probably have to rebuild a lot of their relationship after this but it could easily take months for that to happen since Levi is too terrified to look him in the eye and Mammon is too upset to even hear his voice
Satan:
-He wouldn’t be the Avatar of Wrath if he couldn’t spot the anger within someone from a mile away
-He’s always been able to recognise the fury building up inside of him so for Satan it’s second nature to just know when someone’s on the brink of snapping
-It’s no surprise to say that he probably noticed Mammon’s wrath spilling out before anyone else did
-But alas, he realised it too late
-If he had reacted quicker, maybe he would’ve been able to diffuse Mammon before he exploded on them. Or not
-It’s difficult to tell if he could’ve actually helped because who was he to tell Mammon to calm down??? If anyone told him that while he was throwing a fit, he would probably break their necks-
-In the end, he just pressed his lips into a straight line and watched his brother throw his chair across the room
-Not gonna lie, he found it a bit entertaining purely because of the look on Lucifer’s face
-Satan had to try really hard not to crack a smile because he knew Mammon would probably smash a glass against his head or something
-Even so, he was the first to stand up and offer to go after him, though he wasn’t sure he could do much consoling
-Being so experienced with anger meant that he knew Mammon had built himself into a rage that he won’t be able to escape out of too easily
-Which is why he advises Lucifer to give Mammon his space once they get home
-Overall, the most understanding out of all of the brothers
-At this point in time, probably the least judgemental out of everyone and once Mammon comes out of his room for the first time in a while, either him or Beel is going to apologise to him first
-He may push and push him alongside the rest of his siblings but I feel like Satan doesn’t want to reach a certain low, like cornering Mammon into the frenzy he had that day ever again
-He might get pissy with him if he’s being too stubborn to forgive anyone after coming down from his intrusive thoughts
-And he really hates that Mammon had to remind them about all the times you had nearly died because of them, because he knows they won’t be able to make it up to you so why is Mammon upset about this????
-But he will try to maintain respect for his older brother from then on
-Even if the sharpest of remarks is on the top of his tongue!
Asmo:
-Asmo is the type to laugh it off and then start feeling really upset about it later on, the longer he thinks about the whole thing
-After Mammon storms out, he just assumes it’s another one of those ‘Mammon’ things and tried to brush the feeling of unease off him
-Even so, later that night the memory of Mammon kept coming back to him while he laid in his bed, unable to have a nice rest for the first time in how long? He’s always been really strict about his sleeping schedules after all
-Asmo’s observant, almost on par with Satan himself when it comes down to it. He definitely saw the gleam of anger, pent up frustration and hatred in his brothers’ eyes that moment and it legitimately scared him, even if it was for just half a second
-Honestly, he begins neglecting himself out of anticipation and worry which is a huge red flag for the Avatar of Lust who always holds himself at such a superior level compared to everyone else
-It may start out slow, but it has the same effect as a snowball rolling down the hill. It becomes more of a problem the longer it’s ignored
-Because he spends most of his days now debating whether he should try to coax his brother into coming out of his room and apologising to him, he forgets about himself
-Skincare routines are missed, pedicure appointments have been cancelled; hell, if Mammon’s keeps being stubborn, he may let his hair become absolutely filthy
-Asmo sort of relies on his brothers to provide the living environment he revolves around. If something is off with his brothers, he can not work properly either because it doesn’t feel right to do so
-Imagine a machine not working anymore because one of the clogs in it got stuck
-I can see Asmo feeling a decent amount of guilt when it comes to the situation but he still blames Levi for completely pushing him over the edge at dinner
-So now those two aren’t talking (it’s honestly so exhausting since they’re shoving the blame onto each other without stop)
-If Mammon decides to come out and hear them out, Asmo might get on his knees and beg because that guilt bubbling up inside of him may end up being his demise
-No seriously, MC might need to keep an eye out on him too while comforting Mammon because whatever he is doing isn’t healthy
-Takes Mammon’s outburst pretty badly and tries apologising to him many times but the second eldest still hasn’t said a word to any of them
-And that’s driving him into a fucking swirl of insanity at this point
-Of course, much like Mammon’s mental breakdown, this builds up over time but the result can be devasting
-If you pass by his room at night, you could probably hear him sob about how his brother hates him and it’s really heartbreaking to hear pained cries like that coming from such an overly confident demon like Asmo
Beel:
-Literally the only one here that doesn’t dish out insults onto Mammon every hour of the day
-He joins in very rarely and even when he does, it’s usually in good nature rather than malice
-Unless food is involved. Feelings (and Mammon) might be hurt if that’s the case
-Beel wasn’t listening to his siblings as they were diminishing Mammon, he was way too hungry to comprehend what the hell they were on about
-So he just started wolfing down appetisers until he noticed you looking all weary
-That’s the first thing that put him on alert
-And then the second born’s aura was also...off putting
-Might’ve actually tried to nudge Belphie to stop him from saying anything offensive to Mammon in this state when he realised how tense the atmosphere got
-Flinched when his brother left the palace, almost cracking the whole doorway on his way out
-Hunger is all but gone and at this point he wants to go home to check up on him
-Beel is a bit of a softie and he wears his heart on his sleeve a lot of the times
-He never did anything particularly bad to Mammon, not on the same scale his brothers did certainly and yet he still felt extremely bad
-Perhaps because he didn’t step in as much as he should’ve...?
-Either way, when his loved ones suffer, he has a tendency of putting the blame on himself because he feels it’s the only logical answer
-Honestly, he feels guilty enough to the point where it’s affecting his eating habits-which is obviously not normal for the Avatar of Gluttony
-Beel knows Mammon doesn’t want to talk to him but he still brings him food and leaves it at the doorstep of his room since he doesn’t want to come out and have dinner with them
-Or he relies on you to give it to him
-The thought of Mammon being so mad at them that he doesn’t even want to eat makes him feel so vulnerable
-As soon as he sees him for the first time since that night, he will probably be the first to apologise, even if Mammon isn’t in the mood to hear apologies
-Again, he’s trying to use food to make up to him (bringing him his favourites and paying for them)
-Even if he gets ignored, he’s still going to do it
-Beel is trying his best to say sorry to his older brother the only way he knows how to do so, but Mammon still doesn’t give in
Belphie:
-Could’ve been asleep the whole time Mammon was thrashing about
-Or at least that’s what it looked like to the average passer-by
-Kept one eye open to watch as Mammon finally snapped under pressure, having to raise his head once his brother broke the whole god damned table
-“OK, alright, storm off I guess-I have a splinter now-“
-Don’t trust that sarcastic commentary, he’s in deep thought on the inside
-Maybe he should’ve expected this but then again, he never would’ve guessed Mammon had it in him to be so aggressive
-Will narrow his eyes at him when he talks your death and scowl
-As if he didn’t already feel like the world’s biggest piece of shit, he had to bring that up
-As soon as he leaves, he turns to Lucifer and goes “See what you did? You broke Mammon. You suck, Lucifer.”
-The shifting of blame suits Belphie really well (it takes Beel side glancing him to get him to shut up)
-The Avatar of Sloth is too tired to even try to communicate with his brother so he goes straight to bed after getting home
-However, he actually visits Mammon’s dreams that night
-Or at least tries to, if Mammon is getting any sleep after that showdown
-It’s his way of checking in with his brother, helps him evaluate the situation
- Whether that works or not, there was definitely an attempt that required a lot of effort and you don’t see that very often with Belphagour
-It really demonstrates how much he actually cares for his family, even if he hides behind snide remarks and the likes of it
-However, if Mammon refuses communication, then he can’t do anything but give up
-He clearly won’t be able to convince him to step aside for a chit chat and why waste energy trying to force him to do so
-When the time comes, Belphie knows his brother will willingly talk to him (or at least someone else because he knows he’s not any good at comfort or apologies)
-At the same time, a lot of the things Mammon said during that party rubbed him the wrong way and seeing his twin suffer because of it is also pissing him off so patience may be running thin with Belphie
-Like Levi, there may be a lot of ice between the two from then onwards so it won’t be easy for them to find the middle ground in this whole argument either
-It could lead to a strained relationship if no one intervenes or even a physical fight if the youngest pushes all of Mammon’s buttons properly
Diavolo:
-The Future King feels guilty too, for some reason
-He is clearly not involved but he’s under the impression his party was a catalyst of sorts to the fight that broke out that night
-Diavolo wasn’t even in the same room when it happened-he heard shouting and growling from next door whilst talking to a noble about future arrangements in DevilDom and rushed in
-The sight was something to behold really; Mammon cornering all of his brothers and threatening them with pure venom in his voice wasn’t something you saw everyday
-More often than not, it was the other way around so the Prince had every right to be concerned
-He tried asking Lucifer what was going on after the second eldest slammed the door shut behind him and left but to no avail; the Avatar of Pride was in a state of shock and the only thing he did was apologise to him about a million times before his departure with the rest of his siblings
-Despite his worry, Diavolo tried not to get involved in the aftermath either, believing it’s not his place to interfere and hoping they would solve it out amongst themselves
-He did give Mammon permission to miss RAD classes for that week, thinking a small break is what he needed most
-Even drops by every now and then to check up on him (he just asks you how he’s holding up because he doesn’t want to pry)
-He can’t do much but watch from the sidelines, I mean this is a family dispute so it would be wise to just give them all a bit of space
-If it drags on for too long, however, he will be forced to do something because the brothers are all distracted and can’t get on with their student council work because of it
-Lucifer is even more stressed than usual and can’t even focus during their meetings so for the sake of his friend, if nothing gets resolved quickly, he will intervene and it won’t be pretty
-For now, he’s counting on you to make sure there are no further incidents but it’s unlikely you can stop a train once it’s set in motion so just hope Mammon doesn’t come out of his room until he’s calmed down
Barbatos:
-The butler is a Time Lord so it’s probably no surprise to find out he already knew this was going to happen eventually
-Not like he believed Mammon was going to take his brothers’ insults for much longer anyway
-Being the quiet and observant demon he is, he’s been keeping a close eye on the Avatar of Greed knowing damn well he was going to lose his patience soon enough and go on the offence
-If he knew this was going to happen at such an important moment in time, he would’ve warned his majesty beforehand but he failed to see the potential catastrophe awaiting his breakdown
-Again, he has no right to intervene
-Unless, of course, Lord Diavolo asks him to do so but really the most he can do is give you tips on how to deal with miserable demons
-I mean, you’re the one that’s going to be stuck with them for the rest of the year and this isn’t the type of conflict that gets resolved too easily
-Barbatos is clever so if there is still bitterness between Mammon and his siblings after an amount of time passed, he might try to change timelines (with the permission of Diavolo)
-He’s had enough of Beel coming over to eat his cakes and cry about his older brother hating him (believe it or not, the butler is definitely a bit fond of the sixth eldest so his cries did pull at his heartstrings)
-Basically, in the same position as the Prince
-He relies on you to get them all to make up but he knows it’s not likely to happen any time soon
-For now, he’s getting ready for the chain reaction this fight set in motion because there was no easy way to end this, considering they’re all vicious demons and all
—————————————————————-
Al~ im mad I couldn’t add Simon, Luke and Solomon-I want to write for them too >:(
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artzee-bee · 3 years
Text
You love me? | Lucifer Morningstar x reader
Fandom: Lucifer (Netflix)
Request: “ I was wondering if I could make a request where the reader is Lucifers best friend and can always cheer him up. One day (maybe after something with his brother happens) he is really upset and no one can communicate with him so the reader comes over worried sick. I thought that maybe they could have a moment after but that’s entirely up to you if you would like to write this! If you are uncomfortable or you just don’t want to write this let me know! “
Genre: a good chuck on angst but fluffy ending
Warings: nothing besides some arguing
A/N: This turned out very differently than what I was initially going for but I hope it’s somewhat good
~~~
You were more than aware of how everyone saw Lucifer: eccentric, sarcastic, over the top, at times an insufferable ass. You couldn't exactly disagree with any of those, but somehow you and the handsome gentleman got to be an inseparable duo. 
You met him at Lux while out with your friends. His good looks caught the eye of mostly everyone inside the club, you included. He was attractive but you were stubborn. You weren't going to go out of your way just to talk to him, no way! Plus, you weren't exactly looking for a relationship or anything like that, so what was the point? You were only there for the drinks and the dancing, except you ended up being quite disappointed in the drinks department. The barman was slow and alcohol was a lot more expensive than you were anticipating.
You were waiting for your drink when he approached you. He was trying to get away from a girl that was freaking him out. He made a comment about being “so irresistible” and you replied with a joke about the crappy alcohol. One thing led to another and before you knew it, you had been chatting with him for hours!! Your friends had gotten sick of waiting around for you to be done with your new pal, and left early, not that you minded much. You knew they were probably under the impression that you were trying to get in bed with him and they were mostly excited about how well it was going for you, so they weren’t mad and you were enjoying yourself.
After that night, you and Lucifer became more or less inseparable. Almost every night was now spent either at Lux or in his penthouse, chatting and drinking liquor. Lucifer would visit you at work every now and then, when a case he was working on would get on his nerves. He would sometimes drag you to the station to “keep him company”. You were, in other words, his moral support.
This position came with a lot of wild adventures and incredible stories, but also with a lot of difficulties. Lucifer wasn’t the easiest to talk to when his emotions got the best of him. He had a tendency to shut down and avoid real life at all costs. You’ve been with him through that many times before and you were convinced that there was nothing he could do to shock you anymore.
Late in the evening, you got a call from Mazikeen. She was fuming and screaming over the phone about how Lucifer was in a mood and he went off on her for no reason and that you better get to him and figure it out because she was over it. You’ve received many phone calls like this, so you weren’t alarmed but as soon as you entered the penthouse and saw the mess that was covering every square inch of the place, you began to question your judgement.
“Lucifer?” you asked but he didn’t reply. You called out to him a couple more times, until you finally found him tightly tucked in bed. 
“Luci?”
“Yeah…” his voice was muffled by the blanket and his eyes were shut
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing at all darling, I was just going to sleep”
“It’s 8 pm”
“Yeah, well, tough day at the station today. Not easy solving crime, you know?” “Oh really?” you questioned, to which Lucifer nodded slightly “Funny thing, I talked to Decker not too long ago actually. She hasn’t seen you all day.” Lucifer’s eyes stayed shut
“Don’t lie to me Lucifer” finally, you got his attention. He stood up with an exhausted sigh and rested against the bed frame
“What happened?”
“It’s just...Amenadiel…”
“What about him?”
“Always so curious, aren’t we Y/N?” he got up from the bed and headed towards the bar in the main area with you following close behind
“I’m trying to help you” “I don’t recall ever asking for it” his tone was harsh, but you’ve heard worse from him
“That never stopped me before”
“It never does any good either and yet here you are”
“Yes it does, you always tell me I’m a huge help” Lucifer frowned at your words, knowing full well you were right. He poured himself a drink, choosing to stay silent “I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s bothering you”
“It’s a fight between brothers, just like many others we’ve had before and we’ll keep on having for the rest of eternity probably”
“You’re really bothered by it”
“I am not!” his tone was firm. For just a second his eyes flashed red.
“It’s ok to feel upset”
“I am not upset!” he screamed, his face all of a sudden red and hot.  His devil face. Blood red eyes piercing your soul, a threatening smile displayed his sharp, yellow teeth . You’ve seen this side of him before. You could say you were even somewhat accustomed to it, except you've never seen him do this. Use it as a weapon against you. To threaten you, to push you away. That, more than anything, was what scared you. You’ve seen him so angry at times and yet not once did he change out of rage. You stepped back, almost tripping and falling back in the bed but Lucifer reached out and caught your hand. He held it softly, as if you were made of sand. As if you would slip from his grip any second
“Y/N?” when you looked back up to him, his face was back to normal “Y/N, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I mean, I didn’t realise I-”
“I’m just trying to be a good friend Lucifer”
“I know you are”
“I didn’t deserve that Lucifer” his eyes were full of sorrow and regret. You could see tears threatening to spill and you almost felt this man crumble in the palm of your hand. You pulled him into a tight hug and as soon as your arms went around his waist, Lucifer nuzzled his face in your hair and began to sob
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I didn’t mean to do that…”
“It’s ok Luci”
“You didn’t deserve that”
“Yes but you’ve apologised, I forgive you. Everything is ok” Lucifer pulled away slightly, just enough so he could look into your eyes without leaving your embrace. His face was red and stained with tears.
“How do you do that? How can you always forgive so easily?” he asked as you wiped away some of the tears with the sleeve of your shirt
“Well, with you it’s quite easy. I care too much about you to stay mad.” Lucifer rolled his eyes, as if he didn’t believe you “Plus, I know you. You are kind and caring and would never do anything to hurt me. You have a hard time managing your anger sometimes, sure, but you are working to improve.” You cupped his face with your left hand and Lucifer immediately leaned into your touch
“I’m doing my best.” he said
“And I’ll be here for you. No matter how much you dislike it sometimes!” you giggled, but than Lucifer whispered something in your palm
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Luci.”
“No, I love you Y/N” he took a step back as he said that, the closeness between you two suddenly too much to bear. You looked at him with glossy eyes, scanning his features as if you weren’t sure you heard him right and each look made Lucifer want to crawl back into the pits of hell because he was not worthy of you and he knew that.
“I’m sorry, it wasn’t the right moment, I should have just-”
“Lucifer” your voice was warm and welcoming which only made the devil feel worse. You were trying to reject him nicely, he just knew it!
“Yes?”
“You love me?” when he didn’t reply, you took a step closer, asking him again “Are you in love with me Lucifer?”
“Yes” he was crumbling once again under you. He was the devil and he’s known no weakness but somehow, someway, you managed to bring him to his knees with a single glance and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Did I get the devil to fall in love with me?”
“Perhaps..” you looked him in the eyes. You were once again standing close to him and Lucifer felt weak
“Good” you said, before grabbing onto the collar of his shirt and placing your lips on his, kissing him hard. Lucifer didn’t realise at first what you did, boldness wasn’t exactly your thing, but then, almost naturally, his arms went around your waist, pulling you into him. He felt his worries and tears fade away with every second that he felt your lips on his. He swore in that moment that no matter what, he would never ever push you away again. You were way too important!
784 notes · View notes
skzsauce01 · 3 years
Text
Angel Sent From Up Above
Anniversary Request Special
Synopsis: Hyunjin, a new guardian angel, has fallen in love with a human. His human’s girlfriend, to be precise. Angel AU, background college AU and skater AU.
Warning: violence
Word Count: 8.3k
Pairing: fem!reader x guardian angel!Hyunjin; fem!reader x human!Jeongin
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“Is she healed now?” Hyunjin asks the moment Jisung flies in. He knows Jisung is probably exhausted from keeping maladies away from you, but he needs the answer now. “Is her flu gone?”
“Yeah.” Jisung’s wings are tinged gray with ruin, but he keeps them on display for all the other guardian angels to see as he walks past them. They are proof that he has been doing his duty. They’ll return to white soon enough anyway. “Your human’s her boyfriend. Why didn’t you try to check through him? He visited a few times even though she told him not to.” Jisung sighs and shakes his head. “What an idiot. He’s going to get sick himself.”
“He hasn't visited recently, so I haven’t been able to check through him. The Archangel’s forbade me going to Earth unless it was something serious. I think he’s worried I'm spending too much time with humans.”
Jisung shakes his head. “I think he’s worried that he’s going to have to Seungmin you.”
“I'm not going to get expelled.”
Jisung shrugs, and ruin falls from his wings like ash. “You better watch out. You checked up on her too much last time she got sick, so he's probably trying to make sure you won't abandon your human. He's banished people for less. Case in point: Seungmin.”
“She's important to Jeongin, so she's important to me."
Jisung sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re more protective of her than I am.”
He says it as a joke, but Hyunjin knows it’s the truth. He cares deeply about you, maybe even more than his own human, but he will never say that last part aloud.
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Hyunjin used to believe that becoming a guardian angel was the best thing that ever happened to him. All of his afterlife, he had wanted to be promoted, to be granted the pure white wings and the crown of sun rays. Regular angels had wings and halos but never white wings and golden halos; silver and silver was the “regular” combination.
Watching over a human was considered the highest honor an angel could receive, and everyone clamored to gain the attention of the Archangel. Hyunjin was not immune. He worked as a messenger for years, delivering even the most inane notes between the higher ups. He endured the attacks, verbal and sometimes physical, and kept his mouth shut. Eventually, the Archangel recognized his efforts, and before dawn broke on Earth, Hyunjin was named the new guardian angel of a baby boy, Yang Jeongin.
“You will protect him. You will guide him,” the Archangel said. “He is your responsibility now and yours alone. Do you understand?”
From Heaven, Hyunjin could only look at the wet, wrinkled face of his human. His human. “I understand.”
Then the Archangel flew off, and Hyunjin flew to Earth for the first time to meet the baby. No one noticed him as he phased through the hospital walls nor as his giant wings folded back. Only Jeongin would be able to see his guardian angel.
“Hello there, little one,” he whispered to the swaddled baby. The boy was fast asleep, and Hyunjin gently stroked his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hyunjin, your official guardian angel. I’ll always be nearby now, and I’ll always make sure you’re safe. Sometimes you won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be watching over you. I promise.”
Jeongin stirred awake and stared back at Hyunjin. Two sets of eyes blinked at each other, one full of curiosity and one full of tenderness.
“Go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said. He drew his hand over the baby’s face, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams, little one.”
Guardian angels talked about their humans like parents, bragging about how gifted they were and sharing complaints about what unbelievable thing they did the other day. Hyunjin mostly did the latter. Jeongin was an adventurous child, which was just a nice way of saying that he liked to play with danger. Hyunjin often had to fly in to save him or to redirect the threat somewhere else. The other angels joked that Hyunjin stayed on Earth more than Heaven sometimes. He didn’t mind though. Even with his human’s shortcomings, Hyunjin adored him. He watched from above as Jeongin said his first words, attended his first day of kindergarten, and got into his first fight.
“He’s a troublemaker,” Minho observed.
Minho was a guardian angel as well, but he tended to lurk on the outer edges of the realm as the other angels avoided him for a reason Hyunjin hadn’t figured out yet. Hyunjin liked him well enough and treated him like a mentor, sometimes a friend.
“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Your human started a black market of candy at school.”
Minho shrugged. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”
Jeongin didn’t end up growing up into a troublemaker, to Hyunjin’s relief. The impulsive streak was still there, but he utilized his judgement more now. There were no car crashes or cases of alcohol poisoning, and when Jeongin asked out girls, it was with daisy bouquets and a suggestion to get lunch. Hyunjin slowly stopped making routine trips to Earth and chose to view Jeongin from the comfort of Heaven. It was there that Hyunjin noticed you.
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“I think she’s upset with him,” Jisung abruptly says. “She cried after a video call with him, so if your human starts acting strangely, that’s why.”
The news makes Hyunjin stop mid-step, and he turns to his friend. “She cried? What? What did she cry about?”
“I don’t know. I was too busy trying to lower her temperature. Can you believe that she almost hit—”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I just got back! There is no ‘earlier!’ Besides, we aren't allowed to interfere in anything that isn't dangerous. Heartbreak, if this is even what this is, is temporary."
“Humans do drastic things for love.” The movies has seen while watching Jeongin have told him that much.
“Which we will attend to when it happens. You’re a new guardian; you’ll understand them better over time. Not everything is life-threatening, fragile as they are.”
Hyunjin turns away from Jisung and glances down at Earth. The clouds part, and all of the brick buildings of the university rush towards his eyes as he focuses on Jeongin. He’s asleep at his desk, his lamp still burning bright above him. How long has it been since the video call? Or perhaps he’s just tired from the events of his day. But he looks so small and vulnerable in his chair. Jeongin isn’t fragile — the amount of situations he has gotten out of covered in bruises and blood is astronomical — but he is mortal.
“But she loves him,” Hyunjin softly says, “and he loves her.”
“Exactly. Humans fight over small things all the time, and this is one of those times.” Jisung places a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder to placate him. “Trust me.”
“... I trust you.”
“Good. I need to rest, but we can catch up and see what stupid things they do after.”
The moment Jisung flies off to the rest area, Hyunjin goes against the Archangel’s orders and flies to your apartment. When he peers inside your bedroom window, he spots you sitting in bed in the dark, your phone screen illuminating your face. He phases inside and sits at your desk chair, resting his forearms at the top rail. You can’t see him, but he wishes that you could.
You mindlessly scroll through messages, sniffling every few seconds. Whether it’s from your crying or your illness, he doesn’t know. He can’t hand you a tissue or tell you comforting things or hug you like Jeongin can. When you wrap your blanket tighter around your shoulders, he wraps his wings around himself as well.
Suddenly you throw your phone beside you and let out a heavy sigh. “It can’t get any worse than this,” you say to yourself.
Hyunjin waits for you to say more, but you only stare at the ceiling with blank eyes. He can’t compel you to talk; only Jisung can, but he’s not here. So instead, Hyunjin knocks over the glass of water on your bed when you shift into a more comfortable position.
“Of course it can,” you sigh again and blot as much water as you can with your tissues. You pull another one out of the box with more force than necessary and furiously dab your sheets. “First I get sick, then I miss a homework deadline that I can’t make up because my professor lost his heart thirty years ago along with his hair, then my boyfriend breaks up with me for like no reason, apparently I have an exam tomorrow, and now I’ve spilled water all over my bed, so I can’t even sleep. Thank you, universe. I really needed this.”
He immediately regrets his decision.
“Worst freaking week of my life,” you mumble as you throw away the wet tissues. Hyunjin almost reaches out for your arm when you pass by, but he retracts it just in time.
When you climb back into bed, you draw your blanket up to your chin and begin murmuring numbers. They come out calm and even at first, but they become more tense as time passes. Hyunjin half-listens as he scans the contents of your desk. A laptop, a shopping bag, an open notebook with doodles on the margins, an uncapped black pen, and a pack of gum. He presses his forefinger to the point of the pen, drawing a tiny heart by touch. Then he stamps the heart among all your misshapen stars and imaginary flowers. You might just think it’s an ink smear, but he hopes you look at it and smile.  
You hit three hundred and forty-seven before you begin to sound drowsy. Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed, watching as you finally drift off in the middle of three hundred and ninety-three. Serenity settles across your features.
“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. Good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers. He pats the corner of your bed before flying off into the night.
He needs to see Jeongin.
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It was hard not to notice you when you were on a collision course with Jeongin. You were going too fast, and Hyunjin’s wings couldn’t carry him to Earth in milliseconds. With horror, he watched as you sharply turned the building corner on your skateboard and just barely jumped off in time when you saw Jeongin about to make the same turn.
“You okay?” Jeongin asked as he hurried to stop your runaway board.
“I should be asking you that!” you exclaimed as you followed him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have veered that close to the wall. You’re not hurt or anything, right?”
“I’m fine, don’t worry.”
“Good. I can’t risk getting sued again.” Unsure of how to respond, Jeongin nudged back your board to you. You neatly stopped it mid-roll with your foot. “Thanks, by the way. See you around.”
“Yeah, see you.”
You kicked off, but before you left the area, you turned around and gave him a wave. Jeongin waved back, albeit more shyly than you. After a moment’s hesitation, he yelled out, “Be careful!”
“I’ll try!”
Jeongin laughed and turned the corner, looking at the brick wall with more wistfulness than most people usually did. Before he entered the building, he peeked around the next corner, as if he expected you to come speeding by again. You didn’t.
After that, he noticed you more often, usually swerving around strangers as you cut through campus. Whenever he had the opportunity to say hello, he did so with a smile, and you returned it with a waggle of your fingers before disappearing into the crowd. Once, you nearly crashed into a railing. You laughed it off and gave him another wave along with a funny face. Hyunjin felt something inside him melt. Jeongin must have too since he headed to his next class with the most lovestruck expression Hyunjin had ever seen on him.
It was then that Jeongin began forming a plan.
Two weeks after the first meeting, Jeongin waited in the quad for you to show up. Just as he hoped, you came walking down the steps fifteen minutes later, skateboard tucked underneath your arm. It was supposed to seem like a coincidence, but Hyunjin had followed Jeongin as he scoured nearby skate spots, asking around about you. Yesterday, he had learned where you liked to practice tricks. He got up from his bench, hands hidden behind his back, and approached you with the same moves and confidence he had rehearsed in the bathroom mirror.
“Hey! How have you been?” he called up from the very bottom.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin groaned. Jisung, who Hyunjin had tracked down two days prior to this, also did so.
“You said he was a charmer,” Jisung complained. “Look at him. He can’t even charm dogs with a treat.”
“For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Just wait though. It’s going to get better.”
Jisung huffed. “It better. She deserves the best.”
Fortunately, you took it all in stride and waved hello at Jeongin. When you were finally beside him, you answered, “I’ve been good, thanks. You’re not here to sue me, right?”
“No! I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. If you have time, that is.”
“Really? But I almost killed you that one time. I mean, I’d be happy to, but it’s kind of weird after what happened.”
“I’d rather skateboard than walk, and you seem pretty good at it.”
You shifted your weight to one foot, and Hyunjin chuckled when he saw Jeongin’s eyes wander to your jutted-out hip. Jisung made a noise of disapproval.
“Okay, what is this really about?”
“Skateboarding,” Jeongin said. Then he took a step closer and held out a bundle of daisies towards you. “And lunch, if you want.”
You broke out into a grin. “I am a little hungry right now. L/N Y/N, skateboarding extraordinaire and ramen enthusiast, at your service.”
“Yang Jeongin, also a ramen enthusiast. Nice to officially meet you.”
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Jeongin is still sleeping at his desk when Hyunjin arrives. He shifts and exhales when the wind from Hyunjin’s wings create a small breeze but does not wake.
“How could you break up with her?” Hyunjin says. “She’s amazing and wonderful, and you decide that you don't want to be with her? Sometimes I wonder what’s going on in your head.”
Silence.
“If I were human, I would have never done that, but…”
Jeongin shifts again, burying himself deeper into the crumpled hoodie he’s using as a pillow. The table squeaks, and a mechanical pencil rolls off the desk. Hyunjin quietly places the pencil back to its initial place and shuts off the lamp.
“Take care of yourself, and make good choices, okay? I can’t do that for you.”
Instead of flying back to Heaven, he perches on the roof of the building across from Jeongin’s. Jeongin finally wakes up and notices that his light is off. He glances at it confusedly for a few seconds, wondering if he misremembered leaving it on. In the end, he decides it’s not worth the effort and falls into his bed. He didn’t even spare you a thought, a crime in Hyunjin’s eyes.
Then he realizes he may have a bigger problem on his hands.
Jisung.
Jisung is going to be very upset when he finds out about this.
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Over the weekend, you brought Jeongin to the quad to learn the basics.
“Put both feet on the board now,” you said as you walked alongside a skateboarding Jeongin. He was borrowing yours to practice, so he treated it with more reverence than a well-used board would need. Even though he was pushing with his back foot, he was going at a snail’s pace.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m going to lose my balance and fall.”
Perhaps it wasn’t reverence after all.
You shook your head. “No, you won’t. You’re not going that fast anyway. You can just step off if you really feel like you are. Give it a shot.”
To his credit, Jeongin lifted his foot a few centimeters off the ground before planting it back. “I’m going to lose control.”
While you did your best to persuade Jeongin to give it another try, Jisung gave Hyunjin a dissatisfied look. “I remember you telling me he was a daredevil. What is happening?”
He didn’t exactly know either. “He’s in front of his crush; give him a break.”
“These two better not end up dating. She deserves so much better than him.”
Hyunjin gave him a dirty look, Jisung gave him a “What? It’s true” type of a shrug.
You step in front of the board. “How about this?” you said. “You stand on the board with both feet, and I’ll pull you along so you can get used to the feeling and be less of a scaredy cat.”
“Okay.”
You took both of his hands and slowly guided him backwards. At the same time, you instructed him to put more weight on one side to change directions. Jeongin was surprisingly stable, and Hyunjin watched proudly as his human suggested that you increase your speed a little.
“See? It’s not bad?” you said. “Keeping balance isn’t that hard, right?”
“Yeah. Also,” he grinned, his meek demeanor completely gone, “we’re holding hands now.”
Your eyes widened as you glanced down at your joined hands, and you let out a delighted gasp. “You sneaky little—” Much to Jeongin’s alarm, you let go and smirked. “If you go past the bench without constantly pushing, I’ll let you hold my hand when you walk me home.”
“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume that I would offer to walk you home,” he teased, resting one foot on the floor. “Or is that what you want me to do?”
“You asked me to lunch with flowers. You were going to.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Then he kicked off, skating past the bench with ease. Still going, he looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you want to grab doughnuts before you head home?”
“Watch the lamp!” you yelled as you ran towards him. “Jeongin, stop looking at me and turn around!”
The collision with the lamppost was unavoidable, so Hyunjin simply watched as Jeongin took a flying leap off your board and took a tumble on the concrete. While you fumbled for band aids — Jeongin’s knee was scraped and bloody — Jeongin patted his pockets to check that his phone had not fallen out.
“So doughnuts?” he sheepishly asked.
“Sure. I’ll buy.” You finally found one hidden in the bottom of your backpack along with an alcohol wipe. “Guess you get to hold my hand after all.”
“How are you so prepared?” he asked, nodding to the contents you had unceremoniously dumped out whilst rummaging. “You have tweezers and gauze?”
“My mom made me carry a first-aid kit with me when she found out that I skate to class. It comes in handy.” You ripped open the package. “This might hurt.”
“You can kiss it to feel better.”
You laughed and pressed the alcohol wipe to his knee. “You’re such a flirt, I love it. Does it hurt?”
“Yeah, hurts a lot.”
You opted to kiss the band aid instead, causing Jeongin to pout and Jisung to sigh in relief. When you stuck it onto his skin, Jeongin made a big production of being relieved from pain, which made you laugh and shove him.
“No! She’s in love with him,” Jisung groaned. His wings drooped, and Hyunjin swore his halo actually dimmed when you kept your hands in Jeongin’s after you pulled him up. “Well, Hyunjin, looks like you and I are going to be best friends.”
Hyunjin personally saw no issue with that. Like Jeongin, he had been charmed by your antics and your easygoing nature. Protecting his human’s friends, family, or lovers wasn’t part of Hyunjin’s duty, but he felt compelled to watch over you too.
Because if he were human, he would have fallen in love with you too.
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In the midst of his lamenting, Jisung flies down and sits beside him on the roof. His wings are still slightly gray, and Hyunjin strangely begins to feel self-conscious of his pure white ones.
“Didn’t the Archangel forbid you from doing frivolous things?” Jisung says in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you at her apartment earlier.”
“I just wanted to check up on her. Not that I thought you lied,” he hastily adds. “I wanted to see for myself. She’s a little… distraught.”
“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. It’s normal.” When Hyunjin doesn’t reply or even make a sound, he grows concerned. “Is it something else? She’s getting sued, isn’t she? I knew it was going to happen someday. When I find that smug richie-rich, I’m going to—”
“Jeongin broke up with her.”
“What.”
Hyunjin repeats his sentence, trying to block the view of Jeongin’s bedroom with his body. Jisung looks like he’s ready to rain judgement onto him, and while Hyunjin is rather good at his job, he’s not sure if he can hold back an enraged guardian angel. Jisung takes several deep breaths before regaining the little composure he can muster.
“I knew I hated him for a reason. I knew he didn’t deserve her,” he spits out, though the venom in his voice wavers. “Why would he even break up with her? She loved him so much.”
Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s what I want to find out.”
“When you find out, let me know. I’m going to see her now.”
Hyunjin stays on the roof until sunrise. Jeongin sleeps without any trouble, and when he wakes up, he looks fresh-faced, no guilt hanging over his head. Hyunjin feels something inside him cracking apart.
You truly don’t deserve this.
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“Do you think they’re going to crash and burn?” Jisung asked as he studied you and Jeongin walking through the park, practically glued to each other’s sides. “I think they’re moving too fast. It’s only been a month.”
Hyunjin really didn’t care about that. As long as you and Jeongin were happy, he was happy. “A month is a pretty long time for them. Mortal lives are short.”
“Exactly. They should be more selective about their life choices.”
Hyunjin only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you. You were pointing at the tiny carousel in the middle and tugging at Jeongin’s sleeve. You dragged him over and pushed a coin into the slot for the ride. The lights lit up and a carnival theme played while you struggled to wedge yourself between the saddle of an elephant and the roof of the carousel. Jeongin sat on the edge, beside the tiger, and chuckled at your flailing limbs.
Hyunjin suppressed his own laugh. You were something special. Just last week, the two of you had made it official and started dating. You had done it in the sweetest possible way.
You had taken him to a local skateboarding shop to help him pick out his first board. Once he had chosen one — the ‘one’ being a light blue deck patterned with multicolored doughnuts — the staff at the shop sent him to the back to try it out. Meanwhile, you made the age-old excuse of needing to use the restroom when you were actually getting the flowers you had hidden in the back.
Hyunjin had turned into a pile of fluff when you gave Jeongin the daisy bouquet and asked if he wanted to officially be your boyfriend. You were so earnest. Jeongin playfully pretended to think it over, a feat Hyunjin knew he wouldn’t have been able to do if he were in his position. There were no fireworks or confetti when Jeongin finally said yes, but the staff did clap and cheer. Jisung looked on with contempt. Hyunjin looked on with envy.
“You know,” Jisung abruptly said, snapping Hyunjin back to the present, “when her last boyfriend broke up with her, she had ice cream for dinner for a week.”
“Oh.”
“You see why I’m being wary of him now?”
Hyunjin did, but Jeongin was different. His previous relationships always ended well, and on one occasion, he remained friends with his ex. He sighed and decided that a change of topic was necessary so he wouldn’t have to potentially endure a tirade. “Did you hear about Minho’s human? The bank he worked at got robbed, and he got held at gunpoint.”
That caught the overprotective Jisung’s ear. “What? Is he okay?”
During Hyunjin’s recountment of Minho’s recountment, the carousel ride ended. You squeezed out of your spot, hitting your head on the roof, and Jeongin pulled you in for a forehead kiss. The world grew brighter when you smiled, he realized.
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Hyunjin shadows Jeongin around all day, hoping to learn the reason for the breakup. Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t say anything. He does show some regret though, as he scrolls through past messages and old pictures. When he heads to classes, he opts to walk instead of skateboarding like usual and avoids the quad whenever possible.
In the evening, while Jeongin is chewing on his salad like a cow to cud, Hyunjin pays you a visit. He finds in the freezer section of the grocery store with three pints of ice cream in your basket. From the looks of it, you’re about to add another three to your haul. Peanut butter pretzel sounds equal parts delicious and confusing.
Hyunjin studies your expression, frowning at the same time you do. Your eyes are ringed with red, your jaw tight, and your eyebrows seem permanently furrowed. When he follows you back home, he half expects you to start crying on the way, but you hold fast and manage to open a pint of the salted caramel flavor before the tears finally come. There’s no wailing, just sniffling and the sound of you furiously wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. In the midst of it all, you find the strength to reorganize the freezer to make space for the other pints. Something about that makes Hyunjin’s heart drop.
By the time your roommate discovers you in the kitchen, the entire refrigerator has been reorganized and the ice cream finished. You sit in a dark room, your finger hovering above the ‘SEND’ button of a message to Jeongin. Hyunjin can see it if he flies above you: “Can you please just tell me why? You keep saying you did something wrong, but I don’t even know what it is. Please let me decide if it’s worth breaking up over.”
“Rough day?” she gently asks as she flips on the switch.
“Yeah.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna process it right now,” you hollowly say. You grab your skateboard — the same black, paint-splattered one you had last year — and unlock the front door. “I’m going out for a ride, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.”
“Stay safe.”
After you leave, Jisung phases through the kitchen walls and hisses at Hyunjin, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Jeongin?”
He nearly forgot about him. Eating dinner isn’t a dangerous task anyway though. Besides, if Jeongin does get physically harmed somehow, Hyunjin will feel an echo of the pain. Hyunjin glances at the door, and Jisung shakes his head.
“I’ll take care of her. Go back to Jeongin, and make sure he’s okay. You can’t keep leaving him all the time.”
“Fine, I’ll go.”
“Good.”
Hyunjin reluctantly goes back to Jeongin, who is still eating his salad. His resolve from last night is clearly gone as evidenced by his melancholy expression as he scrolls through even more photos. The one of you in mid-air makes him clutch his phone.
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“Let me get one of you when you’re really high up,” Jeongin suggested. He was comfortable gliding around on a skateboard now, but nowhere comfortable enough to try any tricks. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from trying to get him to learn. The “pop shove it” was your favorite, solely for the amount of height you could get.
“Okay.”
As you did over and over again for your enthusiastic boyfriend who was unfortunately not that great of a photographer, Hyunjin observed from a rooftop behind Jeongin. Sometimes you looked like you were flying. He could imagine wings protruding from your back, and if the sun hit you just right, there appeared to be a halo as well.
“I got one!” Jeongin exclaimed as he held up his device to you. “Look.”
Hyunjin couldn’t see for himself, but your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ once you took a first glance. A flustered smile made its way onto your face, and everything about you turned soft.
“This looks amazing,” you said. You sidled up to him and rested your cheek against his shoulder, turning your head towards him. “I love you.”
The words hung in the air for a few seconds as both Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to process them. This was the first time you had ever said them, and it came seemingly out of nowhere. Hyunjin recovered first.
“Say ‘I love you’ back, you moron,” Hyunjin whispered, like Jeongin would be able to hear him from this distance. “‘I love you too.’”
“I wanted to say it first,” Jeongin finally said. “Ugh, I had it all planned out too. We were supposed to get doughnuts after this, and I was going to buy you one of those heart-shaped ones.”
You kissed him on the cheek and intertwined your fingers with his. “We can still do that.”
At the doughnut shop, he said the words second, and you kissed him again, leaving a crystal of glaze on the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin licked his lips as if you had left it on him instead.
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“Did you find out?” Jisung asks when Hyunjin leaves Jeongin to check up on you. You’re skating around the city, making sharp swerves and weaving in-between lampposts. Jisung is trailing behind you in the sky, but he slows when he sees Hyunjin approaching.
“No, but—”
“Then go back to him. Hyunjin,” Jisung sighs, “I know you care about her, but she’s not your human. Jeongin’s your responsibility.”
“I know but—”
“Go back. And I’m telling you this not as your friend but as your senior. You’re a guardian angel, and you need to take your responsibilities seriously. I’ll get the Archangel involved if I have to. Do you want to get Seungminned?”
The threat of the Archangel strangely doesn’t scare him anymore, however. In fact, the Archangel being involved may solve many of his current issues.
“I’ll find you again when I find out,” Hyunjin slowly says.
Jisung nods in approval before racing after you again. Hyunjin heads to Heaven, not to keep an eye over his human but to become human.
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Ten months into Jeongin’s relationship with you, Hyunjin asked Minho, “Is it possible to give up your divinity?”
Minho gave Hyunjin a curious look. “Is being a guardian angel that taxing for you? You haven’t even experienced a full lifespan yet. I know, twenty year-olds are annoying, but it’s not nearly as bad as forty year-olds and their mid-life crisis.”
“I’m just curious. Or, as a last resort,” he added, hoping that Minho would stop being suspicious if he joked about it. “My human’s been making some dumb choices.”
A lie, but Minho fell for it.
“I told you he was going to be a troublemaker!” he cackled. He sympathetically patted Hyunjin’s back. “If I’m being honest, I thought about it a few times. I always get assigned to the troublemakers. Probably because the higher-ups hate me for not tolerating their BS. They’re always playing favorites. Anyway, the easiest way is to get expelled by the Archangel. It’s happened a few times before.”
“Can’t you just ask him?”
Minho smirked. “You don’t think other angels have tried that? He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”
“What’s the hard way then?”
“Same thing minus the Archangel getting involved: your wings getting cut off,” he matter-of-factly answered. “The halo will break once your wings are detached. It’s only been done once, by the way.”
Hyunjin absentmindedly rubbed the area where the bones of his wings met with his shoulder blades. All he needed were two clean cuts across his practically impenetrable back.
“How do you do that?”
“With the Archangel’s sword. Another angel has to cut it though; you can’t do it yourself.”
The Archangel would likely banish him to Hell for even asking about his weapon. If Hyunjin ever did manage to steal the sword away, Jisung would never agree to it. He couldn’t just ask any angel to help him.
“How do you know about all this?” Hyunjin asked.
Minho hesitated, something he rarely did. He quickly recovered, hiding his sudden apprehension with his usual devil-may-care nonchalance. “I can’t give away all of my secrets.”
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Friends. The word hung in the air like the sun, and Hyunjin knew that Minho would tell him because underneath all of his bluster was loneliness. Because no one liked Minho, or if they did, they still avoided him anyway.
“Yeah, we are,” Minho answered, smiling for a second before a strange expression crossed over his face, pride mixed with a touch of sadness. “Do you really think the Archangel would have expelled one of his favorite guardian angels that easily?”
“Who are you talking about?”
“Seungmin. He asked me to cut his wings for him.”  
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“I need you to cut my wings,” are Hyunjin’s first words to Minho after not speaking to him for days.
To his credit, Minho is only speechless for a few seconds. The dove in his hand pecks at him for more headpats before he recovers. “Well, do you have the sword?”
“No, but I think I can get it. When I do though, would you do it? You’re the only one I trust.”
Minho sighs and tosses the bird out of Heaven, grimacing a bit when he hears it squawk. When he faces Hyunjin, he smiles the same smile he did when he talked about Seungmin. “It’s always me, huh? I’ll do you one better. I’ll steal the sword for you. The Archangel’s been pissing me off anyway.”
For once, Hyunjin’s thoughts are not on you but his friend. He imagined that Minho would be willing, but perhaps he’s too willing. “Are you trying to get expelled as well? We can go together.”
“No, I like being immortal. I hate all of the BS I get put through sometimes, but the Archangel can’t kick me out. He swore an oath to me a long time ago before he got promoted, and it’s pretty much unbreakable. Besides, even Heaven needs a scapegoat.”
That explains why virtually no angels interact with Minho, Hyunjin being the exception. He has never heard of the Archangel being oathsworn, though it seems likely that the Archangel wants to keep that a secret.
“How are you going to get it?” Hyunjin asks. “How did Seungmin even get it? The Archangel always has it with him.”
“Seungmin was one of his favorites,” Minho reminds him. “He had easy access to him, and the Archangel trusted him enough to let him borrow it for ‘a study.’ Don’t worry about me though. Just wait for me on Earth. Somewhere where no one goes. I’ll find you, slice off your wings, and the Archangel won’t even know what happened to you.”
“That’s not possible. He always keeps it on him.”
Minho shrugs, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve done it before. Why do you think I’m the scapegoat?”
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Seungmin. For Minho and now Hyunjin, being Seungminned didn’t mean being expelled for being frivolous anymore; it meant leaving of your own accord.
“What happened to him?” Hyunjin asked. “Why didn’t the Archangel grant his divinity back? Someone should have spotted him on Earth.”
Minho’s wry grin was back. “You think the Archangel wanted everyone to find out the golden boy of Heaven no longer wanted to be an angel? Plenty of angels already saw him roaming Earth. It was easier to let everyone think that Seungmin was banished. So when they saw him on Earth, he was just a fallen angel, nothing important.” He nudged Hyunjin’s arm, and the solemn atmosphere vanished. “A troublemaking human isn’t all that bad. Like I said, the twenties are annoying, but they’re manageable. Is he one of those partying types?”
“He goes out sometimes,” Hyunjin carefully replied. Jeongin liked hanging out with his friends and you — mostly you, now that Hyunjin thought about it — but he wasn’t getting blackout drunk every night. At least, Hyunjin hoped he wasn’t. He usually watched over you if you were ever in the vicinity. “Speaking of which, I should check up on him.”
Minho said his goodbyes, and Hyunjin flew back to Earth once he saw that you weren’t with Jeongin. You were studying at your desk, rolling a pen between your fingers, reading through a document on your laptop. The desk light casted a warm glow on your face. You frowned, and your lower lip swelled outwards.
He wished he were human.
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Just as Minho said, Hyunjin waits for him to arrive in a secluded part of the university campus. The building rooftop is devoid of anyone, and the area surrounding it is empty as well. The evening turns into night, then night into the early morning when the sky begins lightening. Still, Minho has not come.
He distantly wonders how Jeongin is faring and his promise to Jisung. When he’s human, he’ll ask Jeongin directly, maybe in disguise of a survey: “Why did you break up with your last partner?” Even to him, it sounds stupid. However, that’s not the real reason why he’s giving up his divinity, so it hardly matters to him. Jisung is resourceful; he’ll find out eventually.
Finally, when the sun peeks over the horizon, Minho descends from Heaven, a familiar silver sword in his hand. He lands beside Hyunjin, a triumphant smile on his face. But his usual humor has been replaced with solemnity.
“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he rests the blade on the top of Hyunjin’s wings.
He has never felt so sure of anything in his life. “Yes.”
“It’s going to hurt.”
“Then make it quick.”
Searing pain shoots through his body as the sword pierces through the thin skin and into the bone. The process is not as nearly as seamless as Hyunjin hoped it would be, and Minho breathes heavily as he pushes the blade down. Bones snap, feathers drift to the floor, and blood trickles down his back. The pain only grows greater near the end, but Hyunjin grits his teeth and keeps quiet. Dawn breaks when his wings finally fall to the floor, no longer white but splattered with red. Soon they fade into dust, and the remnants scatter into the wind. His golden halo shatters into sunlight. The world dulls as the last of his powers disappear, but everything feels much better than when he was an angel.
“Thank you,” he whispers to Minho, who he cannot even look at anymore. His eyes would be burned.
“You’re fallen, not quite mortal and not quite divine. You won’t be affected by all of an angel’s power.”
When Hyunjin cautiously glances at him, Minho waves the bloody sword at him. “See?”
“Yeah.” He wanted humanity, but this is good enough for him. He just needs you to be able to see him, hear him, touch him.
“I need to go back before Heaven becomes Hell, but find Seungmin if you can. He can help you figure things out. Last I heard, he’s living somewhere in the mountains.”
“Thank you,” he repeats. “Minho, I can’t even put it into words about how much this means to me. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”
Minho pats his shoulder before stripping off his clean shirt. “Clean yourself before you leave. No one wants to witness a walking crime scene this early in the morning.”
When he flies back to Heaven, the last thing Hyunjin sees are his wings, still pure white.
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“Hey,” you said as you laced your fingers with Jeongin’s. He had just finished class, and you had waited for him outside the building. Hyunjin had sat on the other end of the bench, savoring the proximity. That was the closest he would ever get to you. “Are you busy tonight? The skate shop just announced — literally an hour ago, those jerks — that they were doing a midnight drop, and I kind of want a new deck.”
“Ugh, I’ve been meaning to buy new trucks, but I have to meet up with my group tonight. Send me pictures though.”
Disappointment only momentarily flooded through Hyunjin. If it was anything like the last two meetups, it would be at the library, and the library was a safe place. Jeongin would be fine there. Hyunjin would be free to shadow you as you went to the skate shop.
“I can get it for you,” you offered.
He shook his head. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just wait for a sale.”
“Don’t be surprised if I do get you new trucks,” you warned. You let go of his hand and held his arm. “I still owe you for last month’s dinner.”
Jeongin shook his head again, a smile making its way onto his face. “You don’t owe me anything but a kiss.”
“Flirt,” you laughed as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “Never change, Yang Jeongin.”
That night at the skate shop, Hyunjin hovered above you as you stood in line, chatting with others. There were no unscrupulous characters around, but he stayed with you, only going back to Jeongin when Jisung insisted. However, by then, Hyunjin had already seen you eyeing the shiny teal trucks through the window. Hyunjin knew nothing about skateboards even after all those months, but you seemed pleased by them.
“You’re only getting trucks for sure?” your brand new acquaintance asked. “This is, like, the biggest drop they’ve ever done.”
You shrugged. “I’m kind of on the fence about the decks I saw on the email. I don’t know. Maybe wheels too?”
Meanwhile, Jisung hissed, “Hyunjin, go before something happens. What if a fight breaks out?”
Hyunjin sincerely doubted that one would happen at the library. He lingered around, taking his time unfolding his wings and stretching them.
“Your boyfriend’s lucky,” your acquaintance sighed.
“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”
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Daisies, that’s what he needs right now. Choosing the rooftop of a building was not a smart decision, but the access door is thankfully unlocked, and Hyunjin races down all of the emergency stairs. However, with no form of currency on him, Hyunjin heads to the quad, hoping that he can pull up some dandelions for you. You need to be supported, and bright yellow flowers are just the thing.
What he doesn’t expect though, is to find you doing pop shove its at your usual spot. It’s so early in the day; did you even go back to your apartment to sleep?
“Good morning,” he calls as he walks closer. He waves at you, and you can see him! You tentatively wave back and give him a halfhearted smile. “How are you today? You look beautiful.”
“Thanks, and I’m fine,” you politely reply as you take a step back away from him. “What about you?”
Hyunjin curses in his head and takes another step towards you. “I’m good. Really good, actually. I was wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. I’m new here, and skateboarding seems like an efficient way to get around.”
You flinch at his words, and he desperately wants to take them back. How did Jeongin do it? Why do his statements come out so stiff? “You seem pretty good at it.”
“Are you not cold?” you blurt out. Hyunjin curses again as he realizes that he’s shirtless. His old one was stained, and Minho’s was as well as the result of his cleanup. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “You know, I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you.”
“Hyunjin. My name’s Hyunjin.”
“Nice meeting you, Hyunjin.”
You grab your board and immediately head off to the direction of your apartment. Hyunjin is tempted to follow, but he stays where he is. A bad first impression isn’t the end of the world. The only thing holding him back is his lack of a shirt.
He wanders through the quad, scanning the grass for some flowers. Most of them are the white, fluffy dandelions, but he needs the bright yellow version. However, he takes the white ones anyway in case he can’t find any. The wind scatters the seeds, and he—  
“Hyunjin, I told you not to come back.”
Jisung.
Hyunjin turns around, dropping his bouquet onto the ground. To his horror, not only is Jisung present but also the Archangel. His sword is strapped to his side like usual, not a blood splatter tainting it. Minho did an excellent job of cleaning up the crime scene.
“Jisung, Archangel,” Hyunjin nervously greets. The Archangel frightens him now. “How can I help you?”
“Jisung, why did you bring me here?” the Archangel asks. “I have other things to attend to.”
“He’s abandoned his human too many times, and I don’t think he’s fit to be a guardian angel anymore.”
The Archangel grasps the hilt of his sword and studies Hyunjin, up and down, back and forth. He circles him, and Hyunjin can almost feel his mortality-divinity shining through his body. Jisung hasn’t noticed yet, but there is no doubt the Archangel hasn’t.
“Normally,” the Archangel begins, “the punishment for not fulfilling your duties as a guardian angel is being expelled from Heaven. But you have already fallen.”
“What?” comes Jisung’s shocked voice.
“It was a mistake,” Hyunjin tries. Minho’s words ring in his ear: He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. “I thought I wanted humanity, but I’ve realized that being a guardian angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please. Grant me my divinity back. I will never abandon my human again. I will swear an oath if I have to.”
The Archangel smiles with no teeth, and a chill runs down Hyunjin’s spine. “I’m in a forgiving mood today, so I will do just as you ask. Your divinity will be granted back, but you will no longer be a guardian angel. I’m stripping you of those powers and those duties. You will be replaced immediately. It was my mistake for tasking you with such a large responsibility when you weren’t ready yet.”
With just a snap of the Archangel’s fingers, Hyunjin’s senses sharpen, and the world comes hurtling at him. Nothing is dull anymore, but everything feels so dark and wrong. You will never be able to see him, hear him, or talk to him again. And he will never be able to either. Power surges inside of him, and new wings burst through his shoulder blades, fanning out once they reappear. A silver halo hangs over his head. There is no physical pain into becoming immortal again, yet he wishes there was something. Everything he and Minho did was erased with ease.
Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he chokes out.
“You’re very welcome. Come along now. Only guardian angels are allowed to be on Earth.”
Hyunjin follows the Archangel back to Heaven while Jisung goes after you. The Archangel loudly deliberates on who he should be replaced with, and Hyunjin knows that his request was not granted with kindness. The Archangel informs that he will be a messenger again. Hyunjin barely hears him as he takes one last look at Earth. Jeongin is there. Jisung is there. You are there.
Hyunjin avoids Minho’s eyes as he flies inside the realm behind the Archangel and hides among the rest of the regular angels until he is called to send a message. The higher-ups recognize him, make snide remarks about his demotion, and make pitiful faces at him. He barely registers them. There is a hollowness in him, and no matter how many memories he recalls, it isn’t enough to fill the void.
A few weeks later, Jisung approaches him, but even he stays a healthy distance away. “Hyunjin.” The disdain is clear.
“Jisung.”
“You knew about the reason all along, didn’t you? You were there when it happened.”
“When what happened?”
Realization dawns upon Jisung, and he shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known. You weren’t with him that night because you left him like you always did! You could have done something. Make him fall off his chair or something. Make the girl lose her balance. Instead, both of our humans suffered because you weren’t there.”
“What happened?”
“A girl from his group project randomly kissed him, and he thought he had been leading her on and cheating on his own girlfriend, so he broke up with her because he thought that would be the right thing to do instead of just telling her what actually happened. They’re back together now because he finally got the nerve to give her closure. It took nearly a month. They were miserable for a month. All because of you.”
It stings. “They’re okay now, right?”
“They’re fine, no thanks to you.” Just when Hyunjin thinks he’s going to leave, he takes a step forward, lips curled into sneer. “You know, angels and humans aren’t allowed to be with each other. It’s been forbidden for millenia.”
“I know,” he whispers. “But I loved her, and I had to try.”
“She would have never chosen you anyway.”
He never had a chance, did he?
~ ad.gray
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Yes, you did! I remembered it and wondered if you were going to come back! Hope you enjoyed this! <3
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seasonofthewicth · 3 years
Text
nobody does it like you do - act 6
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The final part!! I hope this is a satisfying conclusion! Thank you so much to everyone who has reblogged/commented/shared - it has meant so much. Special thank you again to @morganofthewildfire I'd still be working away at this fic if it wasn't for you, I don't know I ever would have finished it off. Your comments and analysis helped me so much and made this fic better than I could have alone, I'm so grateful.
13k - masterlist - ao3
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There are five weeks between the eventful wrap party and her first day shooting the Netflix miniseries in Antica. Five weeks for Aelin to sort her shit.
It’s ambitious, and probably unattainable, but she needs a goal.
She needs something to draw her mind away from Rifthold and the director she knows is no longer there.
She gives herself a week of self pity. A week of lying around her sparsely decorated and impersonal Orynth apartment dwelling and pointedly ignoring the headlines she knows have been released. Elide let her know only one picture was captured of her with tears in her eyes leaving the party. Only one and gods bless Elide she shut it down.
Aelin lies on her uncomfortable couch in well-worn pyjamas with unwashed hair and runs through the photos on her phone of her and Fenrys, her and Manon, and the group of them together on set doing whatever shit they used to do.
She spends more time than she should like that. She sits there until her coffee table is overflowing with takeaway wrappers and Aedion and Elide have stopped texting more than once a day. She’s awful for ignoring them but she’s still mortified.
She hasn’t been able to look Aedion in the eyes since he dropped her back at her apartment after their long flight home from Rifthold. He didn’t say much. After he managed to again get her out of the party with minimal press she had cried, curled up between Aedion and Lysandra in their bed, and he didn’t offer judgement or instruction.
He just held her, whispering words she can’t remember but appreciates anyway. Now she hasn’t replied to any of his texts.
She hasn’t texted Fenrys or Manon either. She doesn’t know what to say.
She knows Fenrys jumped immediately into another movie, an action movie she knows he’s been chomping at the bit to get training for, and Manon into the second series of her show that she’s probably too famous for now.
They’re busy. They’ll understand. At least that’s what she tells herself.
The worst thing she does in that week is pour over the photos she has of Rowan. She didn’t realise she had so many but her camera roll is full of silver and green.
There are photos of just him, looking like Rowan, tall and handsome and understatedly happy, smiling covert little smiles at Aelin behind the camera. He was used to her instructing him to pose by the end of filming, she loved snapping away as he did anything. Eating, sleeping, smiling, everything - if it was Rowan she wanted it captured.
Now every photo is a knife to the chest.
The ones of the two of them together are worse, they twist the knife, pain splicing through her until she can hardly breathe. There are pictures of their cheeks pressed together, eyes shining, some serious, some silly. In all of them Aelin can clearly see her own happiness.
She can’t stop looking at them even as tears swell in her eyes and her throat gets tight.
For one week.
Until it’s been seven days since her flight landed back in Orynth and she gets up off her couch and deletes them. She almost doesn’t, her thumb hovers over the button for a good minute before she presses down but then it’s done and they’re gone. She showers and changes her clothes, she throws away all the rubbish on her coffee table and makes a plan.
Filming the movie with all of them it was easy to feel better than she did before, surrounded by new and exciting things, new people who didn’t know her before or treat her differently because of it. It was easy to lose herself in who she was there and with them.
Now though, she’s back to real life and real life lasts for an uneventful three weeks.
She tries what she can, she reads, she runs, she bakes, she teaches herself how to knit. None of it is satisfying and it's hard to make it stick. It’s all boring and never quite captures her attention the way she hopes. Never captures her attention enough to tear it away from Rowan and Rifthold.
A week before she flies out to Antica it changes.
She stumbles upon the change, completely accidentally, and she doesn’t realise what she’s needed until it's right in front of her.
Her usual run route is obstructed by construction and so she takes a left where she usually takes a right, heading down into the west side of the city, the side she doesn’t often frequent.
She used to. She used to spend hours strolling the streets letting the warmth of the sun and Sam’s hand in hers settle into her skin as they observed the numerous bakeries and small boutiques. Thankfully the scenery appears to have changed since.
The chill breeze of the September Orynth air teases the loose strands of hair tickling her face as she comes to a stop outside the sleek shop front. The wooden panels are painted a dark, glossy black and the windows are polished so brightly they reflect what’s left of the sunlight.
Music of Mistward the sign reads in curved, white lettering.
She can see her reflection in the shop window, her cheeks flushed, hair unruly, her running gear nowhere near to what would be appropriate attire for the shop dripping in class but she can’t turn away.
A bell tinkles as she pushes through the door, her headphones gripped tight in her fist as the gentle jazz playing over the sound system greets her. She doesn’t like jazz, it’s not her thing, but along with the musk of wood in the air it’s soothing in welcoming her in.
She passes walls of guitars and violins until she reaches the instrument that caught her eye. It’s sleek, black lid propped open revealing the elegant strings, pulled tight in neat lines. The sharp contrast of the keys against each other, bright against the deep black of the case. Her fingers ghost over them, dying to press down.
She hasn’t played since those days in Rowan’s Doranelle home. She’s wanted to, longed to feel the cool keys under her fingertips and the flood of the music pouring out of her, but the cheap keyboard in her Orynth apartment wouldn’t do Rowan’s beautiful instrument justice.
Aelin would rather not play at all than attempt a cheap imitation of what she felt there.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” A voice sounds behind her, low and raspy but cheerful all the same.
She turns, taking in the older man, his grey hair cut short and his classic shirt and slacks pressed crisp. She glances back to the piano before facing him fully.
“Stunning,” she breathes.
The man steps forwards and offers her his hand. She slips her hand into his and he pumps firmly as he introduces himself.
“Emrys,” he says. “Welcome to Music of Mistward.”
“Aelin,” she says, surprised to hear her voice thick.
“Great to meet you, Aelin,” Emrys says with an ancient smile. He nods towards the piano. “Do you play?”
“No,” she says and Emrys’ smile flickers. “Yes, I mean I used to. I want to,” is what she settles on.
He nods, satisfied, before taking a step closer to the piano. He runs a hand over the top, almost reverently and smiles to himself.
“Antique,” he starts, “almost one hundred years old but well loved. I acquired it recently - here we deal mostly in antique instruments, it’s a passion for both myself and my husband. The previous owner only sold it to me when she inherited it and didn’t know how to play, she wanted it to find a good home.”
He shares a smile with her as if she’s in on the joke but her breathing still hasn’t settled.
“Satin Ebony finish,” Emrys continues, “eighty-eight keys, all original but preserved to the highest quality. Accompanying bench, cut with refreshed velvet. I don’t know in all my years I’ve seen such a fine instrument as old as this.”
Aelin glances back to the piano, it’s big, it won’t fit in her apartment in Orynth but she doesn’t care. She can… adjust. She hasn’t felt a pull like this in a while, she doesn’t want to deny it when she does.
“How much?” she almost demands from the man in front of her.
He appraises her and she knows what he sees. Her bedraggled state and the tension through her shoulders doesn’t give the impression of someone with this much cash to throw around. She abruptly ignores that the way she probably can afford this is because of Rowan’s movie.
When he doesn’t speak she repeats herself, more firmly. “How much?”
“Our price includes delivery and tuning on arrival.” He seems apprehensive of telling her the truth. Aelin waits.
When he finally reveals the figure Aelin blinks. And then she extends her hand. “I’ll take it.”
To his credit Emrys just nods, shaking her hand. “You don’t want to at least play it first?”
Aelin feels the smirk she hasn’t worn in a while creep onto her face. “Is there a risk you’re pulling a fast one on me?”
Emrys returns her smile, a playful glint in his eye. “Not a chance, Aelin. Please follow me to the register where I can take your details.”
Aelin almost stumbles. Almost, but then recovers.
“Any chance I can pay a deposit and then let you know where you’ll be delivering sometime soon?”
Emrys winks knowingly. “Absolutely.”
She follows him to the counter, signs away part of a disgustingly large total of money but leaves with a sense of satisfaction. It’s an accomplishment, a step for purely selfish reasons.
The first thing she does when she leaves the shop is call Elide.
Aelin meets her new therapist two days before she flies out to Antica.
She hasn’t called her old one in months and thinks that’s probably a sign. And she’s all about changes at the moment.
She isn’t shooting in Antica for too long, only a couple of months until she’s back in Orynth and then back to Rifthhold for press. Her stomach drops everytime the thought wanders into her head.
She’s excited to be back in Rifthold, but the company is daunting.
Fenrys and Manon will easily be pissed at her disappearance. She knows Manon will play aloof but she also knows she’ll be upset, Fenrys too. Aelin didn’t mean to hurt them, didn’t mean to drop off the face of the Earth, and she knows she’s let them down but Fenrys and Manon remind her of Rowan. She couldn’t trust the conversation not to eventually steer towards him and Aelin isn’t ready for that.
Their break-up feels weirdly anticlimactic. After everything they built to, Aelin just dipped.
She knows it seems that way to Rowan at least. She hasn’t texted him, or rang him or anything since the party. She’s wanted to, wanted more than anything to hear his voice as she cried, but it’s not fair to him to drag it out and she knows that. She knew when she drew the line she had to stay on her side of it, no matter how much it hurt.
She had cried until her head pounded and her throat was raw. She cried until her eyes itched with no tears left to fall, until all that came out of her was hoarse screeches as she ached to hear him call her Fireheart one last time.
But no one needs to know that, she had kept it as hidden as she could.
She definitely didn’t need any more paparazzi pictures of her with red-rimmed eyes looking downtrodden. She couldn’t bear the thought of Rowan, or worse her mother, seeing them.
She knows Fenrys and Manon; Aedion, Lysandra and Elide would see through her flimsy excuses and so it was easier to stay quiet.
She’s not thinking about facing them yet. She supposes that will be something that likely comes up with this new therapist, but so far on her own, she’s choosing avoidance.
She gets Maeve’s number from Dorian, and she comes highly recommended by a number of Dorian’s other high profile clients. She’s well-versed in non-disclosure agreements, secret sessions and back street exits; she feels like the perfect fit for Aelin.
Unofficially, Dorian lets her know Maeve takes no shit, and that’s also just what Aelin needs.
They agree to online sessions while she’s in Antica, but Maeve recommended an initial meeting and Aelin is open to all of her suggestions.
Their first hour is not directly her most life changing but it’s a start.
“Welcome, Aelin,” Maeve says, sweeping an arm out towards the firm-looking, orange couch in the centre of the room.
Aelin takes a seat, mutters her thanks and glances around the room.
The room should feel cold with the exposed brick and minimalistic decor, the only furniture being the couch Aelin perches on, the almost regal armchair Maeve reclines in and a lamp, but it doesn’t and she gets comfortable tucking her feet beneath her thighs and leaning against the arm.
“So,” Maeve begins, surveying her in the way only a true professional can. “Let’s get started.”
Aelin feels bare beneath her gaze, and like everything about Maeve and her practise it should be unnerving but she just blinks against the scrutiny.
“Why are you here today? You could start with sharing why you have made this appointment.”
And isn’t that the million gold-mark question?
Aelin takes a deep breath through her nose and raises her chin.
“I don’t want to move backwards,” she admits. “Or maybe I just want to know I’ve actually moved forwards.”
Maeve’s expression stays calm, but Aelin knows she’d be smirking if she could. She’s well aware of how therapy works but even so, speaking her thoughts aloud can help to verify them in her own mind.
Aelin hopes so at least.
Their hour is over quickly and Aelin is resolved that Maeve is a good fit, reassured in Dorian’s claim that the woman takes no shit. Her all-knowing assessment of Aelin should have been unsettling but the frank dissection is what she needs.
Online therapy, especially fitting it around shooting might be a challenge but it’s for the best. As much as she values her independence and standing on her own two feet, Aelin is big enough to admit that facing her mother again may require some professional guidance. Seeing Rowan too, but again, she’s not thinking about that yet.
Antica is hot and Aelin is sweaty within seconds of stepping out of the air-conditioned luxury of the airport. That feeling lasts the entire time she’s there, disrupting the otherwise enjoyable time she has shooting the series.
Her new co-stars are fine, they invite her out with them and make her smile but she can’t help as though a part of her is always comparing them to who and what she left in Rifthold. Aelin tries her best to enjoy her time there with them, she hosts dinner parties and invites them to a game of Aedion’s but nothing quite hits the same as her time spent on The Crescent City.
She rationalises it to Maeve, that The Crescent City was a big turning point in her life and that it has nothing to do with Rowan, Fenrys or Manon, but she’s not sure she even believes it herself.
She spends the rest of her time in Antica trying to convince herself, and Maeve, that she’s moving past it. That she’s moving forwards or else she’ll move backwards. She’s not sure how much of it is futile.
The Crescent City is done, whether she likes it or not, and she can’t deny it changed her in ways she didn’t expect. It’s a hard pill to swallow that maybe it changed her beyond return to how she was before. She also can’t quite figure out whether she thinks that’s a bad thing or not.
They have a dinner for the core cast and crew, including Rowan, once they’re all back in Rifthold for the beginning of the press cycle. They have one night to reacquaint before they’re shoved into the whirlwind that is interviews, photoshoots and promotion.
She’s seen the trailer already and it’s just as she expected but more. It’s dark and dreary with flashes of brightness from herself and Fenrys and she’d want to watch it if she chanced a viewing as a member of the public.
What is surreal, is to see herself in a polished version of the film they were creating. Or at least a part of it.
She said each of the lines, rehearsed them over and over until they fell off her tongue without thought, but she still doesn’t recognise the girl in the trailer. A droplet of pride slips down her chest at the realisation that it’s not Aelin in the trailer but Feyre. She knows she’s good, has known it all along, but the realisation and reaffirmation is ecstasy better than any drug.
She hovers outside the restaurant, watching through the window, needing a couple more seconds before she submits herself to the assault of them all again. She still hasn’t replied to either Fenrys or Manon and the thought presses on her like lead but it’s too late to change that now.
If she’s honest she’s concerning herself with Fenrys and Manon in the hopes of distracting herself from the fact that she’s seconds away from Rowan. Seconds away from him in the flesh, his solid body in front of her that she had learned almost as well as her own.
Her palms are clammy and she wipes them against the fabric of her trousers. The upcoming interviews and photoshoots will all be styled for her and so she’s relishing in her last moments for a while of truly dressing like Aelin.
She takes a step towards the restaurant door, the tip of her trainer bumping the wood when a voice sounds behind her.
“Well, hello there, Stranger.”
Aelin braces herself, hand paused outstretched where it had been reaching for the door.
She turns, biting her lip as she faces Fenrys. He looks the same as he did, skin still golden, eyes still dancing with mischief, but his golden curls are trimmed shorter than the last time she saw him. His expression is carefully blank.
“I- Hi… um,” she stumbles over the words. “I’ve missed you.”
Fenrys breaks almost immediately. “Oh thank the fucking gods.”
He surges forwards and wraps her into a tight hug. Aelin clings to him, fighting the tears in her eyes as she buries her face in his chest. She’s gone far too long without this, without him, and it’s all her own fault.
“Do you have any idea how much I missed you?” Fenrys asks. “Oh wait, no you don’t. I’m assuming your phone broke, or was stolen or something since you never replied to any of my texts letting you know.”
Aelin knows her cheeks are stained pink. “I’m sorry,” she admits.
“I know.” His voice softens, losing the teasing edge as he presses a gentle kiss to her cheek.
He pauses before he speaks again, his eyes running over her face. “You could have texted me anytime, you know. Manon too. I know you might forget or try to convince yourself otherwise, but we are your friends. You could have called us about literally anything.”
Aelin feels like she could cry. She’s not sure that she isn’t.
“It doesn’t have to be about anything serious, especially not related to the movie,” or Rowan he doesn’t say but Aelin hears it. “We just wanted to hear your stupid voice.”
Aelin pouts. “My voice isn’t stupid.”
She pokes her tongue out as he rolls his eyes, easily falling back into the dynamic they had shaped a few months ago.
“Not what I meant,” he says before pausing, taking her in as she stands in front of him. “You can’t lose us that easily, you know. We’re like rats or fleas or something. Hard to get rid of.”
“Nice,” she comments, but her chest is tight at his words.
He smiles at her before adding, “and you had fucking better text me back.”
Aelin laughs through the sniffles he’s kindly ignoring. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and finds his contact. Hi she sends and feels his phone buzz against her.
“Much better,” he says and releases her from his arms. “Now, are you ready for a night of the finest dining all on the studio credit card?”
Aelin laughs again. “Lead the way.”
He shoots her a wink and waltzes ahead to hold the door open for her.
Fenrys’ presence shouldn’t reassure her the way it does, especially after the way she has treated him but she clings to him anyway. He’s her buffer for now, a crutch for tonight and tonight only. Once tonight is over and tomorrow begins she and Rowan can be professional, they managed it for months during filming and this should be no different.
Rowan still looks the way he did the night she broke his heart.
His silver hair falls elegantly over his forehead as he bends his head to talk to Manon, the pair of them are engrossed in a conversation as she and Fenrys walk over, not spotting them yet. She loves his hair, loves the thick silver waves and the way they feel between her fingers. She loves the way any attempt he makes to arrange the thick strands is never quite able to tame the beast. She loves the shirt he has on, with the sleeves rolled up exposing inches of tanned skin and dark ink, the same worn green cotton she wore numerous times around his living room all those months ago. She can still remember the feel of it against her bare skin.
His smile is the same, his green eyes crinkling as his lips barely part as he does his best to hold it back.
His smile is the same until he spots her.
He catches sight of her when she reaches the table and his smile drops, the shutters closing over his expression so fast she wouldn’t know he knew how to smile had she not just seen it.
It tears her chest in two and any attempt at a smile on her part is futile. It’s all she can do to make it to her seat without stumbling and she’s sure she misses any other greetings she gets as she slumps onto the chair opposite Manon. She absently notes Fenrys dropping in at her side.
She can’t look away from Rowan, her eyes scanning to try and find anything that distinguishes him from the man she loved all those months ago. She finds nothing. He’s still Rowan and Aelin still… fuck.
He recovers before she does, ever the collected courtier, clearing his throat and nodding.
“Aelin,” he says and she adores the sound of her name on his tongue.
“Hi Rowan,” she manages and hears how weak she sounds. Rowan hears it too. She can tell from the purse of his lips and the tension in the hand he rests along the back of Manon’s chair.
Aelin allows her eyes to drift to Manon and she finally catches the thunderous expression the younger girl wears.
“Hi,” she whispers and Manon blinks.
“Hi?” Manon repeats incredulously.
Aelin is fucked.
“Five months and I get a hi?”
It’s loud and a few heads turn their way. It’s simultaneously mortifying and everything Aelin deserves.
“I’m sorry,” she says plainly.
She could lie, make up some useless excuses but in the end there’s nothing else but the truth and if Manon wants her to grovel she will, she’s just not sure this is the time or place.
Fenrys shares her thoughts. “Later, Manon,” he says, gently.
Rowan’s eyes stay firmly glued to the tablecloth as Manon frowns, seemingly unwilling to let it go.
After a few seconds, seconds Aelin spends waiting for the ground to open up and swallow her, Manon nods. She nods and turns to Fenrys, demanding to know what he’s ordering. And just like that Aelin has a moment to catch her breath.
She knew this dinner wouldn’t be easy, knew she’d be walking into the lion's den of her own making, but she hadn’t expected it to be as hard. Hadn’t expected seeing Rowan to feel like a slap, hadn’t expected Manon’s hurt to scrape across her skin leaving her raw.
She tries not to think she deserves it, Maeve would only raise a brow as if to say we’ve been over this. The thought is sobering, and she manages to lift her head.
It is what it is, what’s done is done and she can only apologise and move forwards.
As much as she tries to resist, Aelin finds herself watching Rowan throughout the night. It’s scary how familiar he feels, he should feel like a stranger, but he feels like she knows him too well. He laughs when she expects, rolls his eyes when she predicts. He orders what she thought he would and he sips away at an orange juice the way he did the first dinner they all had together.
Aelin already feels so different than she did the last time she was in Rifthold and he seems unchanged.
She observes for most of the night, feeling drained despite her minimal contributions to the conversations. She speaks when spoken to and actively avoids speaking when Rowan does, she definitely doesn’t respond to anything he says even though she wants to at least twice and wants to laugh a couple more.
She makes it through and clings to Fenrys again as they all leave, linking her arm through his as they leave the restaurant. He knows what she’s doing but graciously guides her out of the building. Once on the pavement outside the restaurant he pauses and turns to her.
“What hotel are you staying in while you’re here?”
The rest of the group are milling about, calling taxis and bidding their farewells. Aelin doesn’t know how she’s getting back yet, she’s assuming she’ll split a ride with someone.
“Um, the Glass Castle, I think,” she says, desperately trying to recall the name of the hotel she dumped her bags in a few hours earlier.
“Boo,” Fenrys laughs, pointing his thumb down. “They’ve got me in the Torre Cesme. Think I’m ages away from you.”
Aelin laughs, disappointed but ready to order her own taxi back when a voice she didn’t expect sounds.
“I’ve just ordered a cab to the Glass Castle, I’m staying there too. You can jump in if you want.”
Rowan.
She shoots Fenrys a panicked look but his expression is pure glee.
“That would be great thanks, Boss,” Fenrys says, shrugging his arm out of hers and nudging her towards Rowan.
“No problem, Boyo.” Rowan offers Fenrys a dark grin at the nickname and the sight of it stills her. It’s new, he used to roll his eyes whenever Fenrys would drop it into conversation, but now Rowan’s playing along. And the grin, the curl of the lips and the narrowing of the eyes, it’s sexy as fuck.
It’s only taken one night and she’s back in the danger zone. She doesn’t want to be, hell, she wants him to take her back to his hotel room and peel off her clothes but this is Rowan. She’s spent the last few months trying to get over him, falling into bed with him the first night she sees him again would not likely be defined as progress.
He’s also not likely to want that after what she did.
“You don’t have to,” she says. The first direct thing she’s said to him since their greeting.
“I know.” A slight shrug of his broad shoulders. “But we’re going to the same place, it wouldn’t seem logical to take different cars.”
Logic. That’s all it is.
“Right.” She doesn’t think she’s ever felt so awkward with him, not even at the start. “Thank you,” she says, following him to the car.
Fenrys shoots her a grin as he slips into his own taxi. Traitor.
Rowan holds the door open for her and slips in behind her. She tries not to think anything of the fact he could have easily taken the front seat.
The ride is silent apart from the easy chit chat he makes with the driver, another thing she’s not sure she noticed him do before, and she stares out the window as the city passes by. The streets of Rifthold are not her home but she feels a brightness as she glances down the curving roads, spotting groups of people milling about enjoying the night.
She knows the first call she made to Elide in weeks was the right call. Elide is the only person she’d trust with her bank account and access to real estate listings. The link to the flat her friend had sent over has stayed open in her browser since she got it.
It’s modern with classic twists, situated in a recently renovated old warehouse with miles of exposed brick and rustic wooden panelling. She loves the master bedroom the most, with its adjoining en suite with a huge bathtub she can picture herself soaking in. She has a viewing booked in two days but doubts she’ll even need it.
It’s not long before the taxi pulls up outside the hotel and she follows Rowan through the glass doors. He presses the button for the lifts and Aelin shifts in the awkward silence.
Awkward is not something she’s used to with Rowan. Or it wasn’t before.
The doors slide open and again she follows him inside.
He pauses with a hand hovering over the buttons for the floors. “Which floor?”
“Nine.”
Aelin hates these one word exchanges compared to the hours they used to share talking about everything and nothing. She can’t believe this is the man she was so vulnerable with.
His short huff of laughter drags her gaze to his face.
“What?”
“Makes sense,” is what he says, shaking his head and pressing only the button for the ninth floor.
The ride takes seconds, a minute at most, filled with the silence between them.
When the doors open to the ninth floor she steps out, determined not to follow him again, and she feels him follow her. Even now she’s so aware of his powerful body and the way he moves it. She shouldn’t be so attracted to the power emanating from him, from the breadth of his shoulders to the sureness of his steps. She wants him, doesn’t think she ever stopped, except now he’s the forbidden fruit. Forbidden only by her own actions.
She reaches her door, room 905, but pauses with her key tucked in her hand.
“Thanks for letting me share your cab,” she says, finding herself desperate not to say goodbye yet. “I can transfer you for half.”
That finally, finally, cracks a whisper of a smile but she’s not sure she enjoys his laughter if it’s at her. “Don’t worry about it.”
That should be the end of it, she should open her door and shut it behind her, they have a few weeks ahead of them that will be hard enough without any complications.
She left him and he seems gracious enough to have mostly moved past it.
“It was good to see you, Aelin,” he says, seemingly unwilling to let the night end as well. She doesn’t let the seed of hope sprout because what would be the point?
Nevertheless, Aelin smiles, leaning back against her door.
Rowan continues, “even if I wasn’t sure how the night was going to go.”
Her attention is spiked. “What do you mean?”
She can’t lie, a part of her expects him to back down at the edge to her voice. He doesn’t.
“I wasn’t sure if you were going to pretend nothing ever happened between us.”
She blinks, giving herself a second to process.
Maybe this isn’t the same Rowan from all those months ago. That night he let her walk away from him, gods know she needed it, but a dark little part of her had wanted him to fight her harder. Fight harder for her. When he hadn’t she’d taken it as her sign.
She knows the expectation was toxic, if he had fought her it would have only pissed her off, but she wishes she’d had someone to tell her it was the wrong choice. It would have helped to hear in the moment, rather than be faced with Rowan months down the line that she wants and can’t have.
The Rowan in front of her, the third Rowan she’s known, stares her down. His eyes peel away each of the layers she’s worked with Maeve for months to don in a second.
“I wouldn’t do that to you.”
It’s honest and maybe she’s not the same Aelin as a few months ago either.
That’s what she had asked for that night in the cool air, to move past them with as little commotion as possible, stirring up as little attention as they could. She hadn’t wanted to let them eclipse the movie and yet that ended up being exactly what she had accomplished.
Now though, Aelin knows better.
Rowan nods as his eyes dart across her face. He seems to step closer without realising. Aelin notes the motion, still so aware of him and his proximity to her.
His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip. “I was so angry at you for leaving.”
Aelin loses her breath at his confession.
Eventually she manages, “was?”
He looks away from her, glancing down the dark hallway, his jaw tight. When she’s with him she forgets about the world around them, there’s probably-definitely-CCTV in this hallway but he’s here and she can’t let him go yet.
His fists curl and uncurl as he takes a deep breath.
“Was,” he says shortly. “I was so angry at you, the way you did what you did was shit.”
Aelin swallows. He’s not wrong.
“I know.”
“But now I don’t know.” She lifts her eyes to his, swimming in the openness she doesn’t deserve. And fuck that. That is such bullshit. She meets his stare, returning all that he isn’t saying. “I spent a long time thinking about it, thinking about you, and it took me a while but now I get it.”
That hurts more than she expects. She didn’t expect him to be all over her the minute they reunited but his understanding was always a kicker.
“I know why you did it,” he continues. “And that took most of the wind out of my sails.”
Aelin frowns. He can’t possibly know why.
“I don’t think you do.” He tilts his head, an invitation for her to expand. “Or you’d know that nothing has changed.”
“Hasn’t it?”
His question throws her. Completely.
She tilts her head up to look at him, closer to her than he’s been all night, pushing her to keep being honest with him.
She’s dazed being this close to him again after so long, the green of his eyes stronger than she remembers. Or maybe her brain had assured her the memory of him couldn’t have been real.
“I don’t know,” she admits, unable to fight the way her body leans into him.
His teeth graze his lower lip and she follows the motion.
He’s silent for a beat too long and her skin is thrumming under his attention. She doesn’t know how she’s gone this long without him, she doesn’t know how she thought she’d survive never having him again.
“Let me know when you figure it out,” he says finally, drawing back and a rush of cool air fills the space he had taken. “Goodnight Aelin.”
He turns and she watches his back down the hallway. He slips easily into a room a few doors down and she’s left watching the path he’d taken, feeling the weight of his eyes on her lips.
Her head thuds against the door as she screws her eyes shut. She wants to scream, wants to chase him down the hall, wants to fly back to Orynth where she was safe.
She doesn’t do any of those things.
She tucks herself into her hotel room and readies herself for the whirlwind that’s about to hit. These next few weeks are going to be hard, not just dealing with the Rowan situation, but she can’t fight the excitement she feels.
Fuck. She’s back in Rifthold, back where she loves, doing what she was born to do.
This is big. She can feel it.
The Crescent City is not her first project, and so she’s been a part of press cycles before, she knows how they go. What she doesn’t know is how a press cycle for something like this works.
The only word she can find is insanity.
There are somehow earlier mornings than they had while shooting and often longer days. She gets poked and prodded in hair and make-up for hours before they spend all day sat in a hotel room filming repetitive interviews for various magazines.
She and Fenrys are genuinely friends and yet they still have to put on a show in front of the cameras. She plays up her laughter when he cracks a joke and he makes sure to never look away from her for longer than two seconds when she speaks or a producer behind the camera makes a comment.
She loves Fenrys but it’s exhausting. Her only blessing is that for most of her engagements she’s with Fenrys and Manon with Rowan conducting his own interviews separately as she had hoped.
Sometimes though, given their relatively similar ages and general level of chemistry, they get grouped together.
The four of them are filming a video for Buzzfeed, filling in a quiz to find out which character from The Crescent City they’re most like. She’s unsurprised to discover her result is Rhysand and it’s fun even if her heart does pound every time she has to act like she’s unfazed and friendly with Rowan.
There’s a moment, just a moment, where she almost breaks from her friendly and unbothered interview persona. It’s her turn to read the question, what item could you not survive without on a desert island?
It’s Rowan that speaks. “Her shampoo,” he says, “it’s jasmine.”
There’s a split second where she doesn’t speak, where all she can do is stare at Rowan, stunned that he remembered and thought to mention it now.
In that split second she’s transported back to memories of them together in the shower at her rented apartment, kissing lazily under the spray after spending hours between her sheets. She remembers dumping the shampoo into her hand and then onto his head, massaging his thick locks and surrounding them in the scent of jasmine.
She remembers how he kissed her neck as she did, trailing his hands over her silky curves, slick with the soap, with his kisses building in heat until her hands dropped to his shoulders. He’d lavished kisses down her chest until he’d jerked back, shampoo in his eyes and she’d laughed until he was safe and pressed his lips again to hers, continuing where he’d left off.
She’s shocked he’d bring this up when there’s a camera on the two of them and she can only imagine the comments it will spark. She’s not sure she cares if it keeps Rowan’s eyes on her.
“It’s luxurious for a reason,” she says when she recovers, tossing her thick locks over her shoulder. “Well worth it.”
She doesn’t miss the flicker in his own mask at her comment.
That kind of interaction will no doubt ignite the sparks she’d only ever wanted to avoid.
As the press cycle goes on and on, and they get closer and closer to the premiere it only becomes harder for her conviction to hold.
She tests her own argument, the clear line she drew in the sand, when she manages to keep it professional with Rowan and she’s not sure where that leaves her. She had thought they would overshadow everything about the project and now she’s not sure.
She said nothing had changed and he had challenged her.
She’s still not sure who’s in the right.
Everything is simultaneously completely new and exactly the same. Rowan is still gorgeous, still charming in his own reserved way, still almost reverent when he talks about his craft throughout interviews. He still talks with his hands and Aelin still can’t draw her eyes away from their motions, she still craves the touch of them on her skin. He’s still seven years older than her and the director of her big break.
Yet there are differences.
They’re still often on the same page, offering similar answers and backing each other up but now he never backs down from a challenge. Now he doesn’t hold back those comments she knows he was always dying to let slip. She should be annoyed, everytime he drops a line that pushes her to expand a little part of her wants to roll her eyes.
She doesn’t though. Her blood heats and her skin prickles. She loves this with him. Loves the dance they play, the teasing, verbal games that shouldn’t start her off but do. She loves the smirk he wears when they end up down that path, and she knows she wears it’s mirror image.
She always ends up squirming in her seat and it should be wrong but it isn’t. The cameras can’t see below their chests and the flush in her cheeks could easily be from the warmth of the day.
She’s beginning to wonder if she’s powerless against Rowan Whitethorn. If she’s powerless against the green of his eyes or the curl of his accent. The slant of his brows or the points of his teeth when he smiles.
She doesn’t know that it’s just one thing. It’s all of the things, it’s all of him, and more so than ever she’s completely fucked.
But they aren’t talking outside of the interviews and photoshoots, and the knowledge of which hotel room is his itches her toes every night. It would be so easy to sneak down the hall, to knock on the door and slot her lips to his when he opened.
It’s only a couple of nights before the premiere when the temptation becomes too much. She’s been around Rowan all day, surrounded by the smell of his aftershave, the notes of pine and freshness and Rowan and it’s too much. She strides down the hallway, resolved in her decision and closes her fingers over the button for the lift.
She needs to be elsewhere or she’ll make some bad decisions.
She’s come so far, survived months without him, she can’t cave due to proximity.
The hotel bar is deserted when she walks in and makes a beeline to the bartender. Yeah, maybe after her wobble at the wrap party a bar isn’t the best decision she could make but her options are limited. Trying to sleep with Rowan is, after all, probably the worst of both options.
“Just a sparkling water please,” she says to the barman who nods and returns a moment later.
“Put it on my tab.” A voice from the end of the bar.
A laugh bubbles out of her chest as she closes her fingers around her glass. Of course he’s here. She should have spotted Rowan the minute she walked in and it’s cruel that the reason she didn’t was that her thoughts were too wrapped up in him.
“Be careful what you sign up for,” she says as she walks over, her steps measured as she comes to a stop before him. Her hips swing of their own accord and his eyes dart up and down the length of her. “I can put a number of these away.”
The smile he gives her is surprisingly unguarded. It seems he’s done holding himself back too. Aelin loves it.
“I don’t doubt it,” he says, nodding at the stool next to him. She obliges as he speaks again. “It’s hard to switch off sometimes.”
He’s always on the same page as she is. Aelin shrugs, taking a sip of the drink he bought her.
They’re quiet for a moment, both unsure of how to break the silence between them when one of the last things they knew was the taste of each other’s lips.
“I keep thinking I’ll get used to it, that one day this will just be my job, but I never do,” Aelin says eventually, tracing a fingertip through the condensation gathered on her glass.
Rowan nods, smiling softly down at the bar and taking a sip of his own drink. An orange juice as usual.
“It’s hard to sleep at the end of days like today,” he says. “It’s why I’m in here.”
The bar is dark at the late hour, and quiet with no one else in there but them and the bartender. There’s something about the late hour, the darkness and the stillness surrounding them a break from the recent rush, that feels a little bit too close. She feels a little too exposed under the weight of his gaze but she rolls her shoulders back and leans an elbow on the bar as she turns towards him.
“I thought you’d be used to all of this by now,” she says and he cocks his head.
“Why?” His question is coy, begging her to expand.
“This is not your first rodeo and all of that,” she says with a smile.
Rowan laughs softly, the sound curving around her like an embrace.
“It can still be overwhelming after your first big movie,” he says gently, but with an edge to his voice that she needs to immediately get rid of.
“I don’t doubt that,” is what she whispers and his brow seems to soften, sensing her lack of malice.
She hates the way they’re in the position where he assumes the worst of her. She has to make that change.
“I don’t think if I get to do this for the rest of my life that it would ever feel normal.”
“No,” Rowan agrees, “I don’t think it could.”
“So then we need this film to do well.” Aelin shifts on the stool, finding herself leaning closer to him without conscious thought. He doesn’t retreat. He stands his ground until they’re only inches apart. “Lest we find ourselves fading into obscurity.”
“I doubt you ever could,” he says with a laugh and it’s the best thing she’s ever heard.
As he looks at her, his expression soft in the dim light, his smile holds something special for her and her chest lifts that she managed it. That he was willing to give that to her.
“My agent sent over the initial critic reviews earlier,” he says and her stomach plummets.
“And?” she demands, her voice wobbling slightly. Her confidence from a minute ago vanished.
This is the moment where she could sink, the moment this could all be over.
“And they’re good,” he almost whispers.
“Good,” she repeats and it’s not a question but he nods.
She wants to throw herself at him at the news, a couple of months ago she wouldn’t have even hesitated, but now she sits clenching her fists and trying not to smile too wide. It feels like a waste. She’ll never get this feeling again.
She turns to him and he’s smiling so she does what she’s wanted to for months. Aelin leans forwards and wraps an arm over his shoulders, pressing her chest to his.
His arms slip up slowly over her shoulders at first, unsure but gaining confidence as he tightens his grip around her, drawing her further into his chest. Aelin laughs a little, throwing her other arm around him and resting her face against his shoulder.
It’s not enough, it never could be with him, but it will do. She’s just happy he didn’t push her away.
Eventually, after a length of time that feels far too short, she pulls back to see him gazing down at her with an expression she can’t name. His brows are drawn in with his lips gently parted. He’s happy but apprehensive, open but distant. Aelin will take what she can and the distance between them has always been too far.
She wants nothing more than to close it, to draw herself into him and he into her, but she can’t. They’re here for one thing and one thing only and she refuses after what they’ve been through to mess it up again.
She knows he can read her own expression but she doesn’t care. She’ll hide from everyone and anyone but she’s realising she could never hide from him.
She wants Rowan, will probably want him for the rest of her life, but she made the call and he’s wrong, things haven’t changed.
Apart from all of the things that have.
The day of the premiere Aelin feels sick.
Her stomach twists and she tosses and turns all night and the dark circles under her eyes are brutal as a result. Her make-up artist tuts but diligently packs concealer on until Aelin looks well rested. Or as close as she can.
She’s trying not to think of the stretch of carpet she’ll have to walk tonight, a smile plastered across her face as she poses for the hundreds of cameras. Their premiere is one of the biggest of the season and, along with Fenrys, she’s the star.
She’ll have nowhere to hide.
Aelin sits in front of her mirror, her hair and make-up are done but she’s yet to get dressed. She takes herself in, making sure to note every strand of hair to every line of her lips, feeling as though she needs to remember this moment. The moment before it all explodes.
They’ve been building to this for almost a year now and this is as close to a culmination as she’ll get.
Her dress is something fierce. Endless, flowing velvet in the darkest shade of black. Long sleeves and a fitted bodice with an almost indecent dip in the back. The dress would be modest without that cut out, she can’t wear any underwear it dips so low.
It would be a simple dress, some might even dare to say boring, if it weren’t for the back. The majority of the fabric that remains is covered in gold embroidery taking the form of a dragon, coiled to strike. Aelin adored the dress the moment her stylist revealed it to her. She didn’t consider any of the other dresses, didn’t even acknowledge them as options.
The dress is what she needs, something strong, something to help her hold her head up high. She can walk the red carpet and stare down every single person who doubted her and know that they were wrong.
Aelin doesn’t need their approval. She doesn’t need the reassurance of faceless commenters, she doesn’t need the support of the magazines and the newspapers. She doesn’t need her mother’s approval. On anything.
Aelin is confident and self-assured and she can walk the red carpet knowing that.
Her sessions with Maeve have helped to reassure her stance, but she’s realising day by day she’s known it all along. It’s just taken a little bit of digging to uncover it.
She slips into her dress and it slides on like a second skin. She takes in her appearance, the arch of her brow and the red smirk of her lips makes her look intriguing, like a confident young woman.
Aelin was born to be an actress but she’s proud to say the sight in the mirror is real.
She poses for a few photos before she’s led out of her room and into the car, waiting to take her to the theatre.
She spends the ride in silence, barely listening to the jabbering of the aide in the car with her, and she focuses her thoughts on the calm before the storm. She takes deep breaths and centres herself the way Maeve has taught, she knows this could so easily be overwhelming but she’s determined to enjoy it.
The car stills and she can hear the noise of the crowd outside. She takes a final deep breath and allows her lips to spread into a smile. This one is genuine, nothing forced about it, and she pauses for one last beat.
This is big and Aelin is ready.
The car door opens and the sound hits her like a wave, slamming down onto her and it's so loud she can hardly think.
This is it. This is the moment she has dreamed of.
The nights where this image was all she could cling to to make it through could never have compared to how it feels standing here now, screams of her own name wrapping around her and urging her on.
Her steps are slow and purposeful as she glides down the path forged for her, the red carpet beneath her stilettos is plush and bright. She pauses where she’s instructed, rolling her shoulders back and smirking at the cameras with a hand on her hip.
She knows she looks incredible and the shouts of the photographers do nothing to change her mind. They are here for her, they’re all here for what she has accomplished, along with Fenrys, Manon, Chaol and Rowan and everyone else involved.
There are so many forces upon her, the flashing of the lights, the screams and shouts calling her name or Fenrys’, the magnitude of what this is could knock down a lesser individual but all it does is raise Aelin up.
She’s been through worse than this and survived, she’ll stare down the lense of all of these cameras, of everyone who has ever spoken her name and she won’t cower, she won’t just survive. She’ll thrive.
A warm hand lands on her waist and somehow the flashes of the cameras explode.
“Hey, golden girl.” Fenrys’ words are almost hard to hear even though his lips brush her ear. “Fancy seeing you here.”
Aelin wraps her arm around his back and grins, “I thought I’d at least show my face.”
He returns her smile and together they pose for the cameras, their shoulders back and smiles confident. She’s not sure this could be better.
Until she turns slightly to her left and gets flashes of silver where she and Fenrys are gold.
Rowan and Manon, posing for their own pictures mere metres away. He looks spectacular, the deep black of his tuxedo doing nothing but bringing out the depth of his tan and the shine of his silver hair.
He’s smiling his public smile and it’s gorgeous even though it’s not her favourite of his smiles, she loves the private ones he used to save just for her, and her own smile falters at the sight.
She’s here with Fenrys and it’s not wrong but it doesn’t feel right. The arm around her waist shouldn’t belong to Fenrys.
She should be where Manon is, smiling up at Rowan while they marvel at what they’ve accomplished. She knows her smile has dropped and she fumbles for anything to plaster onto her expression other than the longing she feels for Rowan.
As if she’d called his name he turns to her, green colliding with blue, and she knows he feels the same.
And that hurts far more than all of the months they spent apart.
All the months she spent hurting, trying to deny what she always knew, trying to pretend that they were anything other than a force of nature. They had been an eclipse, threatening to over take all of this but she was wrong. Rowan was wrong too.
It doesn’t matter whether everything or nothing has changed because she wasn’t right in the first place.
She should have known better than to think that whatever flimsy decision she made could halt what they were, what they should be.
She can only hope he forgives her. She can only hope he feels the same.
But the thing about this new Rowan is that she can’t read him the way she used to read her Rowan, she can’t tell if the way he steels himself and turns away from her is a dismissal or if the look they shared had been just as painful for him as it had been for her.
“A masterpiece.” - Rifthold Reporter
“Fenrys Moonbeam shines alongside Aelin Ashryver in The Crescent City. See our full review here.” - Wyrd Stone
“Latest Rowan Whitethorn flick smashes Box Office records.” - Valg Weekly
“Unapologetic, daring and thought provoking. Award nominations expected to follow for The Crescent City.” - Terrasen Tribune
Her phone has not stopped buzzing for the past four days.
Dorian texts every waking hour with the updates he gets, the numbers coming in and all her latest offers. It’s surreal. She knew they were good but she’s not sure she ever really expected this. Aedion texts her a picture every time he sees or hears her name, it should be terrifying the frequency with which he texts her but she has to fight back her smile each time he does.
She managed to find an hour the night before to call Lysandra and the majority of their call had consisted of Aelin repeatedly asking what the fuck was happening while Lysandra cackled down the phone.
She’d even got a text from Lorcan. It was alright, he’d written. Followed by, I hope I die before ever having to watch you make out with someone like that again.
She’d sent three middle finger emojis and a kissy face in response.
Now is probably not the best time to move to a different country but she’d signed her name on the papers two days before the premiere and Rifthold is calling, irrespective of the fact she’s only been back in Orynth for two days.
Most of her stuff headed out yesterday with the moving company leaving Aelin with two suitcases to fly back to Rifthold with tomorrow.
There’s one last place she needs to go before she heads back to finally get a good night's sleep before her flight tomorrow. She’s never set foot in this graveyard before, she’s never had the courage to dare before, but she’s emboldened. By the success of the movie, by her progress in the past year, by her sessions with Maeve. This has felt like a natural step.
The shining, black headstone is understated and classy and completely to his taste.
Sam Cortland. Beloved son and brother, taken far too soon.
Aelin waits with her head bowed, allowing all of her emotions to rush through her veins. She doesn’t fight them, it would be pointless to try, and she embraces the tears that gather. Eventually she steps forwards, placing the smooth, small stone on the crest of the headstone.
She rests her hand on the cool stone for a moment before sinking down and crossing her legs beneath her as she leans against it.
“I’ve missed you,” she says aloud, “I can almost hear you telling me to stop being such a sappy shit. I can’t help it, it’s been too long since I’ve seen you.”
She pauses, letting the wind drift through the field sweeping her words away.
There’s no one else here but her and Sam, no one else she’d want to hear her confession.
“I wonder what you would have made of all this. I think you’d tell me to enjoy it all, to not miss a moment, and I’m not. I’m just choosing the ones I want to savour. And this is one of them, Sam. I wish you’d been there with me, you would have loved it, the cameras, the lights, everything.
“I have to keep pinching myself to know it’s real, I did it, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come and see you.”
She sighs, letting her head tip back to rest against the stone. She didn’t prepare anything to say, didn’t realise she’d even want to speak to the open air but here she is.
“I’m not the same Aelin as the girl you knew anymore,” she says after a few moments of silence. “I didn’t think I would have the capacity to love again after you but I did, and I feel terribly guilty that I do. I have to remind myself that this is what you would have wanted, you would have wanted me to be happy.”
The silence in the field is more than an answer enough. So typically Sam to give her an answer without so much as speaking a word.
“I was happy,” she says, trailing a fingertip along the words etched into the stone. “I will be again.”
A faint haze of sunlight drifts through the Orynth autumn clouds, a whisper compared to the chorus of brightness she misses in Rifthold, and she stands, brushing off the dirt from her jeans. She touches the stone one last time before turning and heading out of the graveyard.
Her visit was years overdue but her chest didn’t crack open the way she had expected, the tears hadn’t been relentless the way she had expected. She’ll visit him again the next time she’s back in Orynth, probably visiting Elide and Lorcan for Yulemass, and she’ll visit again and again for as long as she lives.
But for now, she has a plane to catch.
Months later and two days before the Oscars, when they’re all back in town for the ceremony held in her new home city of Rifthold, Fenrys throws another party.
She’s managed, this time, to stay in touch with Fenrys and Manon, having made up with the younger girl before the press cycle had finished. Aelin knows her upset was real but partly suspects the animosity was a front. She even finds herself participating in the group chat with the three of them and Rowan. She’s only texted him one to one once to wish him a happy birthday and they had caught up briefly but not texted since.
She’s missed him in a different way to the last time she missed him. This time missing him doesn’t feel necessary, it feels wrong not to text him, wrong to be away from him and she’s itching to see him again.
It’s no one's birthday this time but they’re all together again to celebrate, no matter the results they’ll see in two days. Aelin is very carefully measuring her excitement about her own nomination for best actress. Fenrys is up for best actor, Rowan best director and the movie best picture.
She’d almost dropped her phone in the toilet when she found out from Dorian a few weeks ago.
The party is small but still in full swing by the time she arrives. Big names from the industry, all in town for the ceremony, are scattered all around Fenrys’ Rifthold apartment. He’d bought a place here not long after Aelin and she’s secretly relieved she’s not the only one so moved by their experience.
She waves to a few people she knows and tries to stay calm when she spots Sartaq Khagan in the corner chatting away to a small group of people. Holy shit Fenrys has some famous friends.
Aelin finds herself a glass, tops her orange juice off with a splash of lemonade and begins her rounds. So many more people want to talk to her after the movie dropped.
Her mother had been one of them, and Aelin’s thumb had hovered over the accept button for a moment before decidedly pressing decline. She had blocked her mother’s number a moment later, and then she had made some calls closing the bank account her mother kept topped up and arranging for every penny she’d ever received from Evalin Ashryver to be paid back.
It had hurt, emotionally and financially, especially in the month she’d moved to Rifthold, but it had been worth it. To never let Evalin pass any judgement over her life again was a relief worth any cost. Aelin’s hoping there’s a possibility she could end up with a reward.
She doesn’t know how long she spends talking to big name after big name and it’s a realisation that drops onto her that she fits in here. Aelin Ashryver is a big name. No matter the outcome of the ceremony she has prospects, already a number of projects lined up and she’s loving every minute of it.
She drains her cup for the third time tonight and heads back into the kitchen. She’s barely seen Fenrys all night, and she doesn’t even know if Manon is here.
She frowns into the fridge, there was definitely a full bottle of orange juice in here the last time she topped herself up. She shuts the fridge and spins around.
“Looking for this?”
She should have known.
Rowan looks predictably gorgeous in the dim kitchen lighting. All tanned skin and silver smiles. He’s dressed in her favourite look of his too, worn denim jeans and a soft cotton shirt.
It’s the softness in his gaze that really takes her though, it seems the animosity from the last time they saw each other has faded if not disappeared. Her chest squeezes at the thought. She has no idea what could have triggered it but she will take it.
“Nope,” she says, stepping over to where he stands with an arm braced against the counter at his side, the other holding out a bottle of orange juice. “I was hoping Fenrys would have some chocolate in there but I guess this will have to do.”
She takes the bottle from him, her fingertips brushing his and she feels her cheeks heat at the innocent brush.
His smile is genuine and she knows what he’s remembering because she’s thinking of it too. The first time she visited his house during filming and their moment in the kitchen. They’ve been through cycles, she supposes, but hopefully now for the better.
“I’m sure we can find you some somewhere in here,” he says as she fills her cup, pulling open the cupboard next to his head.
Aelin smirks. “I’m going to leave the rummaging through Fenrys’ cupboards to you. You could find anything in there.”
Rowan winces, closing the door before returning her smile. This is friendly and the hope that’s been planted in her chest begins to sprout.
“Yeah, maybe not,” he says with a conspiratorial smile. “We wouldn’t want to risk it.”
Aelin pauses for a moment, taking in the glory of him in front of her. He’s still Rowan, he’s still tall and deliciously broad. His silver hair is slightly more grown out and there are a couple more lines around his eyes but she doesn’t care, in fact it’s charming. He’s still and always will be stunning. She takes a sip of her drink before she takes one of her biggest risks so far.
“I’ve missed you,” she says, not daring to look away from his face.
He bites his lip, his tongue darting out to soothe the skin before he speaks. “I’ve missed you too.”
The smile that spreads across her face is all too telling but he’s smiling too so she doesn’t think it matters. He definitely feels the same and she’d be annoyed at the months she spent worrying but the relief is too sweet.
“Good,” is what she says, far too happy they’re here to bother with pretending she’s anything other than ecstatic. “Congrats on your nomination.”
His eyes dart to the floor and then back up at her, he’s too modest about his own skill and Aelin adores it. “Thank you,” he says softly, “you too.”
“Thanks,” she says. “I couldn’t have done it without you. All of you.”
“Me neither,” Rowan says.
He’s close to her now, closer than he has been to her for months and her skin cries out for contact. She almost can’t believe she’s here now, talking to Rowan without any animosity, days before the Oscars that she’s nominated in.
The smile that takes over her face is completely of its own accord. She’s floating and it seems Rowan is too if the beat they share, exchanging incredulous smiles, is anything to go by.
“It’s crazy, right?”
She’s been asking herself the question for so long it seems only natural it slips out to him.
He laughs softly, and the rough sound curls straight to her core.
“Definitely,” he agrees, his voice low. “I don’t think last time felt like this.”
Aelin slaps a gentle hand to his chest and ignores the thrill that shoots through her at the eventual contact. “I get it, this is not your first nomination.”
Rowan rolls his eyes and she didn’t know how much she missed this, playing with him. She adores his reaction every time, the begrudging amusement he only lets shine through to make her smile.
“Some of us have never been nominated before, this is all completely new.” Aelin takes a sip of her drink. “I had to give up my social media accounts to Elide, it got so crazy.”
Something flickers over Rowan’s face at her comment. “Really?”
“Yeah,” she says, her eyes darting across his face trying to decipher the expression. “She’s always had access and I still do so I can post if I want to but it just became a lot. It stopped being fun when I would see what people were saying, whether it was good or bad I don’t want to see it anymore.”
Rowan nods before his eyes lock onto hers, the intensity in his expression shreds her control.
“And you said nothing had changed?”
Aelin gets it now.
She shifts her weight, leaning as close to him as she can without sliding herself completely into the circle of his arms. “I was wrong. Lots of things have changed,” she says, her voice quiet but strong. “And lots of things are now right that weren’t before.”
She doesn’t mean to skirt around the truth, hiding in veiled words and double meanings, but as always, Rowan sees her. He sees her meaning and he smiles. It’s the most beautiful smile Aelin has ever seen him wear.
“I’ve been looking for you two.”
Fenrys bursts into the kitchen, startling Aelin back from Rowan. She hides her guilty smile in her drink and notices Rowan doing the same. Fenrys just grins, clearly enjoying whatever he thinks he’s seeing.
“You’re missing out, we’re playing kings in the living room if you want to join?”
Rowan glances at her before he turns back to Fenrys. “I think we’re good, thanks.”
Fenrys’ smile turns smug and Aelin resists the temptation to flip him off. She’s in too good of a mood to be annoyed at him.
“Okay, see you later, lovebirds,” Fenrys says, already on his way back out of the door.
Aelin pretends she isn’t blushing as she turns back to Rowan, his green eyes shining.
“This might sound crazy,” he says with an alluring tilt to his lips, “but do you want to get out of here?”
She’s reached a point she truly never thought she would.
She’s an Oscar-nominated lead actress in a box-office-record-breaking movie.
She’s happy, healthy and out from underneath the thumb of Evalin Ashryver.
The part that’s most uplifting, the part that has her unable to wipe the smile off her face as she strolls down the streets of Rifthold, is the arm she has tucked through Rowan’s.
They’ve been walking for a little while, enjoying the cool night air and the ease with which they managed to sneak out of Fenrys’ party. Her heels are killing her and Rowan very graciously offers her an arm to lean on and each time she takes a step in time with him she smiles.
“I never thought I’d like doing television,” he says.
She didn’t know he’d taken on a miniseries, similar to the one she’d done after filming, but she’s loving the recap she’s getting of the months they’ve been apart. The chill of the air is more than fought off by the warmth of Rowan by her side. The streets are mercifully empty and she can bask in the knowledge that it’s just the two of them out here, that they’re insignificant, that anyone who sees them will immediately dismiss them.
“I always thought I’d stick to movies, singular stories but I enjoyed it. I guess change can be good.”
Aelin laughs softly and squeezes his arm. He looks down to her, a question written in the slant of his brow.
“Change can definitely be good,” she says as she takes in the sights of the skyscrapers surrounding them. “I would know that I suppose.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I bought a flat recently.”
“You did?”
He’s so graciously giving her the floor to say what she needs to say and she holds his arm even tighter.
“It’s right here in Rifthold.” Aelin avoids his gaze, lest he think it’s a speedy invitation and that that’s all this is. “I bought it just after we were back here for press, I realised that I adore Rifthold and being here. I missed it when I wasn’t here and I don’t feel there’s anything holding me in Orynth anymore.”
Rowan laughs softly, his feet scuffing the floor.
“What?” she demands.
“I swear I’m not following you,” he says and she feels a smile creep onto her face. “I bought a loft here too.”
Aelin gasps. “But your house was gorgeous!”
Rowan’s smile twists as he looks away from her. “I didn’t say I sold the house.”
Aelin cackles as she squeezes his arm, the sound joyous and bright as it echoes around them. “I knew being Mr Big-Name-Director has its perks.”
“It does,” he agrees with a smirk.
Aelin wants to kiss that smirk. Wants to pull him down and twist her fingers through his hair as his own tangle along her skin.
Instead she says, “I copied you somewhat too.”
He only raises a brow.
“I bought a piano like the one in your house. It was too big for my old flat in Orynth and so I knew what I had to do.”
“That’s good,” he says as his arm drops out of hers. She almost pouts until he instead tangles their fingers together. Her smile says it all, reflected back in his own. “You play beautifully.”
“Thank you.” Her cheeks are glowing. “You’ll have to come over and I’ll play for you sometime, neighbour.”
“I’d love to.”
Aelin slows, using the hand tangled with his to pull him to a stop too. Her free hand trails a gentle path up his chest before coming to rest at his collar, her fingertips tracing the golden skin peeking out from his shirt. His free hand finds her waist.
They’re close, closer than they have been in such a long time when he speaks.
“I don’t know what you think has or hasn’t changed.” His hand leaves hers to cup her cheek. “But I still feel the way I used to about you.”
Her heart takes off, pounding within her chest.
“I do too, Rowan.” Some of the easiest words she’s ever said to him. There’s something about the way the streetlights shine through the silver tips of his hair and the way his calloused fingers feel between hers that she’s feeling brave. “I loved you then and I love you now.”
His eyes flicker across her face as his smile dawns, taking over his face as he smiles so brightly. This is all she’s ever wanted, to have a Rowan like this, with pure, unfiltered happiness in his eyes as he looks at her.
“You love me?”
“I do. To whatever end.”
His lips are barely a whisper from hers and she only acknowledges the thought that they’re in public for long enough to realise she doesn’t care.
“And I love you.”
His words are simple, but sweet. They wash over her and settle into her skin as his lips land on hers. He kisses her with what she can only describe as love. His lips pour devotion onto her and his hands light a fire inside her as he tastes her tongue.
They kiss for longer than she can keep a track of, wrapped up together illuminated only by the street lighting. She’s missed this, missed him, and she can’t help but feel right when his hands are on her. She can’t help but feel right as she stretches onto her toes to throw herself into his kiss.
This was never wrong, this was one of the first things she knew was right.
She loves him and he loves her and nothing and nobody else matters.
She doesn’t win the Oscar, and neither does Rowan. Fenrys does and she screams herself hoarse cheering him on as he makes his way to the stage.
The moment that takes the cake is when The Crescent City takes best picture. She takes to the stage with some of her best friends to recognise what they achieved together and maybe she is a soppy shit but she definitely cries. Fenrys laughs at her and Manon grins but Rowan just throws his arm around her shoulders and it's worth it.
Afterwards, she logs into her Instagram account for the first time in a long time. She posts a picture of Rowan looking absolutely delicious with his tux unbuttoned and his bow tie hanging untied around his neck with a greasy burger in one hand and hers in his other.
Posting him is a statement but she doesn’t care. In fact, she wants the world to know. She wants the world to know that nobody does it like he does. Nobody does it like they do.
94 notes · View notes
scuttling · 3 years
Text
Present
Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 4,598 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Voyeurism, Masturbation in shower, Sexting, Oral Sex, Dom/sub, Protected Sex, Established Aaron/Sophie Summary: Sophie sends Aaron a sexy video while he’s away on a case, Spencer watches it, and smut ensues. Collection: Part 1 of 5 of Present, Perfect, Patient, Promise, Pretend series Note: This is a previously published work from A03, just moving it over to tumblr because I was thinking about it today. 🤤 Link to A03 or read below! “I sprained my ankle. I’m not injured, not really. I can even walk on it,” Sophie assures as she pours them each a cup of coffee in the break room. She sets the carafe down, takes a step, wobbles, and Aaron catches her around the waist with a raised eyebrow of judgement. “Okay, so I can’t walk that well, but I can certainly sit in a conference room bouncing ideas around and drinking coffee. That’s all Rossi does, anyway.” He chuckles softly, knows she’s still… warming up, to Rossi and his idiosyncrasies.
“You know the rules.”
“Yeah, because we’re so good at following the rules,” she teases with a smirk, running her hands down his stomach, stopping at his belt. He looks over at the bullpen out of the corner of his eye, shoots her a warning look that makes her sigh and pull away.
“Think of it as choosing our battles,” he suggests, hoping that might get her back on track. “If you want to continue making out in my office, you have to stay here this one time.” She smiles, crooked, nods her head.
“Okay, when you put it that way, I’ll take the make outs.”
“I thought you might. Plus, you get to spend all day with Garcia. I figured that would be like a dream come true.”
“It is, definitely. It’s more the long, cold, nights that I’m worried about.” He sighs, because she’s being so dramatic, but he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of making him smile again. He can’t be looking as smitten and infatuated with her as he is all of the time. “I’m going to be so lonely.”
“Oh, I think you’ll manage without sex for a few nights,” he teases, and she looks scandalized, as if that wasn’t exactly what she was getting at.
“It’s not about sex, it’s about intimacy, comfort, sharing my bed with a big heavy man who scares away the bad dreams.” She grins lecherously and he prepares to roll his eyes. “And who has a dick that won't quit.”
“Like I said,” he enunciates, taking his travel mug of coffee for the road, “you’ll be fine for a few nights. If you do decide to touch yourself, though, make sure you send me a present,” he reminds her, because they aren’t separated often, but when they are, a couple of racy pictures or videos almost always exchange hands. He bends for a quick kiss on the lips, brushes her cheek. “I love you. Behave.”
“I love you,” she murmurs, all tenderness and no heat, now. “Be safe.” Two days after taking the case, the team is on the jet for a night flight home. Spencer is tired, but he can’t sleep; JJ is stretched out on the couch, Morgan and Emily are slumped over in their seats up front with pillows and headphones, and Rossi has been snoring softly since they took off, so it’s just him and Hotch awake. They are in seats next to each other, Spencer by the window, because he knew he would be a little restless, and that Hotch wouldn’t sleep, so it seemed like the safest bet if he didn't want to disturb anyone’s rest.
He also enjoys the comforting presence of the older man, always, but especially in the calm, quiet atmosphere of the flight home.
He tries to listen to music, a podcast, but he eventually pauses it and just rests his eyes, his head, listens to Hotch as he flips pages or taps away at his phone. He’s probably texting Sophie, who’s home with a sprained ankle and who hasn’t stopped grumbling about it since. He smiles at the thought, likes when she’s comfortable enough to complain to him. Likes being someone she turns to.
He sighs. Feelings are complicated. Sometimes he hates being part of such a tight-knit team because it makes the things he feels all the more confusing, especially when the two objects of his (totally manageable) affection are in a relationship together; he feels like the odd man out, as always, can’t deny that it hurts sometimes.
He’s drifting in and out of the not quite asleep stage when he hears sound coming from Hotch’s phone, shuffling, ambiguous noises. He lifts his eyelids just slightly to see a video up on the screen, a wall that looks vaguely familiar, like a bathroom, maybe. There’s nothing particularly intriguing about that, but then he sees a pair of smooth, bare legs standing inside a bathtub and his interest is… piqued.
There’s another sound, unmistakably a shower being turned on, and then the woman—it is Sophie, no doubt; even if he can’t see her face, the tattoo on her forearm is easily identifiable—squats down, and she is so gloriously naked that he just… freezes. His body and his mind are suspended in a conflicting state of this is wrong, I shouldn’t be seeing this, and this is the best thing I’ve ever seen, and why is Hotch watching this right now, with me right next to him, and hnnng.
She pulls the shower head into view, lets it pour over her hair from what he can see of it, then down her breasts, her stomach, arms and legs; after that, she adjusts it to a stream that is harder and more controlled than one would typically use in the shower. He wonders why, thinks it could be uncomfortable, until she moves it to hover over her pussy, moaning softly, and then he really, really gets it.
His heart is racing as she runs her hand over her body, thumbing at her nipples, sighing at her own touch. She rocks back and forth a little so the stream of water hits her clit, then lower, between her lips, against her opening, and Spencer swallows hard.
“Mmm,” she sighs, and the sound goes straight through him; he feels himself getting hard as she murmurs, pressing her hand against the rim of the tub for leverage. “Mmm, yeah.” He can see that Hotch is breathing heavily next to him, eyes fixed on the screen. It’s too dark in the cabin to see his lap, but he knows he must be aching in his pants, too, wonders what it would be like if he reached out and touched him there.
Sophie is incredibly gorgeous as she works to reach her climax, bouncing lightly on her heels as the pressure builds, her moans longer and louder, but it’s when she stops moving and presses the shower head closer, directly over her clit, that he knows she’s almost ready to come.
“Oh, yeah, yeah,” she whines, pinching a nipple, arching her back, and her voice is high and breathy and addictive. He would give anything to be in the same room as those sounds, to pull her wet body close and help her get off. “Fuck, mmm,” she purrs, bringing the stream even closer, and she comes, short, loud moans that sound like they’re being ripped from her throat as her thighs shake, her chest heaves.
She drags a slow hand down her body, like she’s soothing herself, and then shudders, pulls the shower head away like maybe the pressure is too much where she’s sensitive. With a sigh, she reaches for the phone, tilts it so her face is in view, cheeks flushed and wet hair clinging to her shoulders. She turns up her lips in a coy smile. “See you soon.” The video ends.
It takes Hotch a moment to lock his phone, and he looks a little dazed when Spencer risks a glance up at his face—with good reason. If he was on the receiving end of videos like that, he would never be able to focus on anything.
The rest of the trip is quiet, certainly uneventful in comparison. Spencer makes a show of opening his eyes fully, stretching, thinks it would be too awkward now to admit he saw and heard every incredible second; Hotch looks over at him with an expression he can’t read, and then flips open a new case file.
When they land, he and Hotch are the last two to grab their bags, and Hotch brushes up against him in a way that feels purposeful, but is probably wishful thinking. “Do you have anything going on for the rest of the night?” he asks, and Spencer shakes his head.
“Nope, nothing.” Maybe masturbating—definitely masturbating—but he doesn’t need to know that. Hotch nods, thoughtful.
“You should come home with me.” Spencer looks at him with wide eyes.
“What?”
“We both know that you saw the video,” he says in a low, no nonsense tone that makes him gulp. “I told Sophie, and she seemed… interested in the prospect. So you should come home with me. If you want to.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” Hotch raises a hand, halting his train of thought.
“I may have had a suspicion that you were awake when I chose to play the video, so don’t be so hard on yourself.” Spencer looks at his face, trying to determine if he’s saying what he thinks he’s saying. He did that on purpose? He knew that Spencer was watching? “No pressure, if you don’t want to come over. I would never want you to do something you don’t want to do.”
“I do want to… do… whatever it is we’re doing,” he rambles awkwardly, and Hotch chuckles.
“What we're doing is having sex. And I won’t touch you, or anything, if you don’t want that. It can be me and Sophie and you and Sophie.” Spencer swallows hard again, so turned on and breathless that it makes him feel bold.
“What if I do want you to touch me?” he asks, and Hotch leans in slowly, hot breath at his ear.
“Then I’m going to touch you.” When he pulls away, his fingers brush over Spencer’s jaw. “Do you want to come home with me?”
His answer is an emphatic yes. Aaron is due home any minute, and Sophie is vibrating with nervous energy, puttering around the apartment in her robe, couldn’t sit still if she tried. She waits for him on nights he has to work late and can’t bring it home, sure, but it’s almost never like this, where they are apart for days on end. It’s seriously affecting not only her sex drive, but also her mental state, which she hadn’t expected; she feels clingy, needy already, wants to smell him and touch him and taste him and be caged in by him, and it’s frankly getting a little out of hand.
It doesn’t help, she guesses, that she sent that video, but she was horny and wanted his attention… and boy, did she get it, had several texts come through a couple of minutes after she sent it, all very sweet and dirty and good.
Then she saw one about Reid, wanted to be mortified, but she just… wasn’t.
A: So, Reid saw me watching your present.
S: Oh, really? Did he like it?
A: Yeah, he liked it.
A: I bet he’d come pretty quick if he got to see the real thing.
A: Touch you… taste you.
God, how can this calm, controlled man make her such a whimpering mess with just a couple of texts? It’s unfair, is what it is.
S: Maybe we should invite him over sometime.
S: I’ve seen him looking at you, too.
S: Imagine how pretty he would look between us.
That was about an hour ago, and the only thing she received in reply was a brief message letting her know they’d landed and that he was on the way home. She hopes she didn’t upset him, knows that he’s mentioned being interested in men but that he’s never slept with one, hopes she didn’t hit a sore spot. She promises herself they will talk about it when he gets home.
But when he gets home, he kisses her so deeply she feels faint. Her body is lit up in an instant, suddenly desperate for more of him.
“I brought you a present,” he says, so low and sexy, and she grins, breathless, wraps her arms around his neck.
“Ooh, you know I love presents. What is it?”
“It’s not a what, it’s a who,” Spencer says, then, from the open doorway, and she glances between them, bites at her bottom lip. He steps inside and closes the door.
Fuck.
“Hey, Spencer,” she greets, but she can hear the tremble in her voice when she does. He looks to Aaron, and Aaron reaches back, wraps a hand around his wrist, guides him closer.
“I told him what you said, about how pretty he would look between us. He happened to agree, so I figured, why wait?” He looks her over intently, like he’s making sure she’s okay with this.
She is so okay with this.
She wants to speak but she’s so out of breath, her heart beating so fast, that she just pulls him down for a kiss, messy and graceless, and then she reaches for Spencer’s shirt and pulls him close as well, doing the same. She takes turns kissing them, ten kisses each, probably, until Aaron pushes her back gently with a soft laugh.
“Easy, baby. He’s going to stay the night; we have time to go slow.” Her chest is heaving, and he walks around so he’s standing behind her, unties the sash of her robe, pulls it off to reveal the lacy black bra and panties she thought would be a sexy surprise.
He kind of outdid her in the surprise department, but she’ll forgive him this once.
He runs his hands over her panties, her stomach, her boobs, and she bends her neck back, arching up for his lips, moaning against them. Spencer approaches, a bit hesitant, puts his hands on her hips and kisses her exposed throat, her chest. She feels like she’s died and gone to heaven, two pairs of hands on her, two mouths, her body pressed between them tightly. She thinks offhand that she’s glad her ankle doesn’t hurt anymore, because she could stand between them all night long, if they keep this up, would be content to never move again.
Then one of Spencer’s beautiful, incredible hands slips down the front of her panties, and they stop kissing her to kiss each other, and she whimpers, and her knees give out anyway.
“So dramatic,” Aaron whispers teasingly in her ear as he holds her up, big hands on her body, and she shakes her head, wets her lips.
“Not being dramatic. This is so fucking sexy.” Spencer—apparently not worried about the fact that she almost collapsed on them because Aaron wasn’t—slides two fingers over the slippery wet lips of her pussy, and she groans. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take all the attention,” she murmurs, moving her hips against his hand. “Kiss some more, please.” Spencer huffs a laugh and leans in, catches Aaron’s lips with his. From her point of view she can see the slide of their tongues, lips pressing together, and she groans again.
“If it’s okay with you,” Spencer says to her when they separate, “I would really like to eat your pussy now.” He kisses her softly on the cheek, and she exhales, shaky.
“Yeah, please—please do that.”
“I’ll hold you,” Aaron whispers, lips at her ear. “I’ll be right here, I promise.” She hums, leans back against him, and Spencer drops to his knees, guides her panties down. She’s so wet there’s slick on the insides of her thighs, and when he lifts one leg to hook her knee around his shoulder, he licks it away. She shudders.
She feels like she should have known how hot and skillful his mouth would be, because he talks so fast sometimes that his brain—his incredibly high-functioning brain—can’t even keep up, and she usually finds his mouth cute, but right now she finds it sexy, will probably never be able to look at it without thinking of the way he feels with his tongue in her pussy.
He is very enthusiastic, licking her quick and deep, with one hand on her waist and the other rubbing her clit like he’s got a PhD in bringing girls to orgasm, and she knows she’s moaning like a slut, gets even louder when Aaron bites at her earlobe, kisses her neck, squeezes her breasts. “Fuck, oh fuck, yeah,” she pants, reaches a hand down to wrap it in Spencer’s hair, making him groan; she rocks against his delicious mouth, which he encourages, moving his hand to her ass and guiding her closer.
“Come for him, baby,” Aaron urges, hand inside the cup of her bra to pinch her nipple. “Isn’t he pretty, down on his knees for you?” She drops her head back against him, brings a hand to his hair, too.
“So pretty.” He stoops down to kiss her as best as he can, and Spencer’s looking up at them, gorgeous, and she comes tugging on both of them, panting into Aaron’s mouth.
When Spencer stands up and kisses her, mouth soft and wet after working her through her orgasm, and then Aaron leans in to taste both of them on her lips? It’s a wonder she doesn’t get weak in the knees again. Sophie is soft and pliant after she comes, clinging onto them, and Aaron lifts her into his arms and carries her to the bedroom, Spencer following closely behind. He sets her on the bed, unhooks her bra and pulls it off; Spencer watches closely as he does, kneels down to kiss her, brush his hands over her bare breasts, and she sighs at the treatment.
“What do you want to do?” Aaron asks them, getting down on his knees as well, and he kisses them, thrills at the similarities in their soft lips, soft skin.
“I wanna suck you both,” she says, and he touches her face gently.
“Are you sure you’re up for that? You look a little fuzzy.” He didn’t think that she would get submissive so quickly, since he hadn’t actually dominated her, but can see how feeling at the mercy of two men might make her go to that place; he just wants to make sure he does what’s best for her while she’s there.
“Might not be able to get you off, but I want them in my mouth. Can I?” She looks up at him, then at Spencer, who swallows visibly. Aaron gave him a little insight on the way there about how they normally interact with each other, how she likes to ask for permission and he likes to give it—or deny it, depending.
(Aaron Hotchner’s crash course on having a submissive girlfriend—he might have to find a way to monetize that, somehow.)
“You can, for a couple minutes. Then what do you want?” He looks to Spencer to see if he has anything in mind.
“I don’t—I’ve never done this,” he says quietly, and he and Sophie both touch him, and she nuzzles against his shoulder.
“Neither have we, it’s okay. You want to, though?” He looks at them with soft, open eyes, and nods without hesitation.
“Yeah, I want to.” Aaron takes his face in his hands, kisses him deeply.
“Okay, good. Sophie,” he says softly, touches her face too, “do you think you would be alright being with both of us at the same time?” She licks her lips and frowns a little like she’s confused.
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe we could lay you down, and one of us could be inside your pussy, and one of us could be inside your mouth. I’ll take your mouth,” he decides quickly, because she doesn’t like it too fast or rough and he knows her limits, doesn’t want to hurt or overwhelm her. “You’ll be full of us, baby. Do you think you want that?” She closes her eyes, nods, and Spencer touches her throat with long, gentle fingers.
“You’d give us that?” he asks like he’s in awe, and Aaron gets it, knows how much it means that she trusts them with something like this. “You’re incredible, Sophie,” he murmurs against her lips, and she sighs, pulls him closer.
Watching them make out is a very enjoyable thing, made all the more so when he decides to come up behind Spencer to unbutton his pants, untuck his shirt. The younger man moans at the feel of his hands helping him undress, and he presses back against Aaron’s chest, panting and eager. He guides him to stand, gets him naked, and wraps a hand around his long, hard cock, stroking it a couple times.
“You want her mouth on you while I get undressed?” he asks, and Spencer bucks up into his hand, nods quickly. Sophie reaches for him, pulling him closer, and she licks at the head, moans. “Gently,” he murmurs in Spencer’s ear, “let her be in control.” He nods seriously, presses a hand to Sophie’s cheek when she takes him in.
Between the two of them, their moans are so filthy, wanton, that he craves the heat of their mouths, so he captures Spencer’s in a kiss when he can, pulling off his clothes slowly so they can enjoy the time together. “Sophie,” Spencer murmurs, and she looks up at him, and Aaron’s arms around him, and whines. She pulls off of him, licks her lips looking hungry.
“I’m ready for you guys.” The simple sentence makes his dick throb, and he lays her back on the bed, kisses her soft and sweet and slow. Spencer curls around them, kisses them and rubs his hands over their bare skin.
“Spencer, can you get in that drawer and take out a condom?” he has presence of mind to ask, glad that the ones they have should fit him, and he stretches up, all long, lithe muscles, grabs one and tears the wrapper open, rolling it on. Neither Aaron nor Sophie can take their eyes off of him, and when he’s finished, Aaron moves out of his way so he can settle between her legs. She hitches up her knees, and he knows first hand how inviting that can be, understands completely when he shivers with pleasure.
Aaron kisses Sophie a few more times, whispers sweet, loving words into her ear, and then he crawls up by her head, the tip of his dick at the same level as her mouth.
“Are you okay, baby?” he asks, running his hands over her breasts, and she nods, puts her hands on Spencer’s hips and pulls him closer until he is fully sheathed inside her; he keeps still, panting, and Aaron leads forward to brush his hair back. “You’re so gorgeous, Spencer,” he coos, and then he presses into Sophie's mouth, sighs.
She takes him in hand, guiding him in and out at a pace she’s comfortable with, so he just lets her take the lead and runs his hands over her body, Spencer’s fingers where they press against her thighs. He is pumping into her deeply now, an easy rhythm Sophie matches with her hand, and the room is filled with a symphony of soft, wet sounds and moans and hums that Aaron doesn’t think he’ll ever forget.
He is wholly unsurprised when he is the first to come, because watching Spencer’s hips move against her, his hands careful where he holds her down, and feeling her moan around his cock because she loves feeling full, it’s all too much for him. He spills with a groan, and Spencer watches his face like it’s art, which makes him feel warm in his chest. Something to explore at a later time.
Sophie lets go of him, panting, and he slides down to his belly so he can kiss her mouth, caress her. He looks up at Spencer, who appears to be trying so hard not to come, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, and he rubs Sophie’s clit to help get her close, so he’ll stop trying so hard and just let himself feel good.
“Oh, god,” Sophie whines, brings her hands up to squeeze hard at her breasts. “This is good, so good, mmm.” She starts bucking hard against him, her neck stretched long, and he knows the instant she comes, her mouth opening in a wordless moan before she all but howls her pleasure. Spencer groans, shifts his legs a little so he’s hovering over the both of them, and he thrusts for a few more seconds before finding his own orgasm. “Hmm, yes,” Sophie sighs, and he kisses her slowly, passionately; Aaron rubs both of their bodies as they shiver with aftershocks, and they all sink into the mattress, deeply spent.
They cuddle together for a few minutes, until Sophie complains she has to pee, and she and Spencer go into the bathroom together to take care of business. Aaron runs a hand through his hair and exhales long, because this is the absolute last thing he expected to happen, while also being one of the most unforgettable nights of his life; he knows they’ll look to him for guidance about what to do next, and he’s really not sure what to say when they do.
When they amble back into the room, they’re both smiling softly, and Aaron smiles because he can’t help it. They climb back onto the bed, Spencer in the middle, though Sophie reaches across him to rub at the hair on Aaron’s chest.
“So that’s a thing that happened,” Sophie says eventually, propped up on her elbow, looking over at their two blissed out faces with nothing short of affection. “Is it a thing that’s going to happen again, or a thing we swear up and down didn’t happen?—No pressure, only asking so I know how to compartmentalize my many, many thoughts.”
Aaron looks to Spencer and can’t help but feel like there’s something more worth exploring, there. He thinks Spencer feels the same when he pulls him in for a tender kiss.
“I think it should happen again,” Spencer murmurs, and Sophie leans down to kiss him too.
“Yeah, it should happen again.” Aaron sits up, smiles at his girl, guides her mouth to his.
“Okay, then.” They kiss again, easy, sweet, and he breathes a laugh. “We owe you for this, you know: you and your little shower performance.”
“Oscar worthy,” Spencer says with a grin, and Sophie shoves him playfully.
“Hey, a girl has needs.”
“And we’ll help you meet them,” Aaron promises, running a hand suggestively along her body, and she covers it with hers.
“No way. I’m tapped out, buddy. Unless I get sleep or pizza, no more sex from me tonight.” Aaron feigns hurt, pulls away, flops onto his back with an exaggerated sigh, and she crawls past Spencer to straddle his waist. “So dramatic,” she teases, leans down for a kiss, then climbs off the bed altogether. “I’m good with pizza—I don’t want to go to sleep just yet, not when I’ve got two pretty boys in my bed.”
“I second pizza,” Spencer murmurs, his face pressed against Aaron’s bicep. Sophie pauses in the doorway, a thoughtful look on her face.
“Do you think they’ll do a third veggie, and a third pepperoni, and a third Hawaiian? Or am I gonna have to order two pizzas?” She comes back over to the bed, kisses them both soft, affectionate, and smiles. “Always complicating things, Spencer Reid.”
88 notes · View notes
equizona · 3 years
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Shielding Embrace
Fandom: Obey Me!
Characters: Mammon
Format: Drabble
Warning(s): Mentions of abuse(?) Angst(with a happy ending), crying, swearing, calling Lucifer a stuck up little bitch, OOC.
Summary: MC is tired of hearing Mammon get picked on so often, by his own brothers no less. As the second-born demon has always protected them, they think it's their turn to protect him.
Note: I wrote this a while ago, since I'm tIRED of Mammon getting bullied all the time. He deserves better-
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"Diavolo, stop being such a scumbag Mammon-"
It wasn't uncommon that the brothers would call the second-born mean words. Scumbag was their favorite, along with dumb or stupid. You agreed that he didn't always make the best choices, but they were always so cruel about it. It never gave off the vibes that they were only joking either. It was like they meant every word.
You hated it with your whole being. Mammon had been the nicest to you, and he had been the one who had been there with you since the start, ever since Lucifer made him your 'guardian' in a way. He wasn't the best at showing his emotions, but you could tell he cared. Sometimes, it felt like he was the only one who cared.
You wanted to shout, or scream at them, for all the cruel things they would say to him. He deserved better than that. He was their brother, so why were they always so mean to him?
"MC? Are you okay?" You were forced out of your mind by Satan's annoyingly Loud question that brought the attention of everyone at the table to the two of you.
You remember when he tried to kill you. You remember when all of them tried to kill you. You remembered when Belphie actually killed you.
All those times never quite left your mind, and you could still feel the fear you felt in each of those situations. Mammon was the only one of them you felt completely comfortable with anymore, as he was the only one who never seemed to lose control and attempt to harm you.
You decided you wanted to stand up for him like he stood up for you all the time.
"Actually, no, I'm not. What's wrong with you guys?"
Satan's eye twitched, and it was oddly satisfying. You could see all of the brothers about to speak up about what you'd said, though you didn't give them that chance.
"I don't understand why all of you keep calling Mammon a scumbag. Is it because he's greedy? 'Cause if that is the case, then I want to remind you that greed is his sin. He's the avatar of greed. And I mean, why get mad about him for that? As far as I remember, all of you don't ever try to deny your sins."
You didn't feel satisfied just yet, so you decided to continue. You wanted to make them feel just as horrible as you assumed Mammon felt each time they threw those words at him.
"I mean, Lucifer is a stuck-up little bitch with too much pride and he can't ever seem to apologize or see that it's his fault no matter how obvious it is. Leviathan is constantly envious of everything to the point it can be fucking unbearable. Satan has extreme anger issues, and gets angry at the smallest things and Asmo is constantly flirting with people and usually not stopping until he's in their pants. And please, don't even get me started on Beel. Then of course, Belphie just seems to never bother lifting a finger to help anyone. But I never see anyone complaining about all of that, do I? It's not like any of you do anything to deny the sin you are assigned to, so why do you expect Mammon to do it, hmm?"
You raised your eyebrow in a judgemental way, just to add that extra spite. You could clearly see Mammon's shocked expression.
You preferred watching the reactions of the others more though. Beel looked guilty to some degree, Asmo looked offended, Levi and Belphie looked annoyed at the whole thing while Satan and Lucifer looked downright pissed.
You could see that Mammon was about to say something, probably about how he was okay and you should calm down, and Satan looked ready to snap and attack you, again. Though neither of them had the chance to react before Lucifer stood up while slamming his hands down on the table, glaring at you.
"Excuse me? Run that by me again, won't you?"
You'd normally apologize and leave the room to do something else, but you were tired with their bullshit and this just seemed like yet another way you could call them out on it.
So, you gathered up all of your courage and looked Lucifer straight in the eye, glaring at him as well, despite the fact you knew it would have little to no use.
"Or what? Are you going to try and kill me again? Because let me remind you that all of you have attacked me before, except Mammon. Oh, and of course, one of you actually managed to kill me. Remember that, Belphie?" You shot him a mean look, and at least he seemed to have some guilt over the situation.
"And you know, Lucifer probably would have killed me before as well, hadn't it been for Lord Diavolo. Oh, but you never quite did apologize for that, did you? You never apologized to Luke for attacking him either, did you? And it's because you have so much pride. Because you're so high and mighty and you can never do anything wrong, can you? Ah, but nobody ever tells you that, do they? Because they know it's the sin you represent and they know it's a part of who you are."
Lucifer blinked at you, shocked, and nobody else seemed like they were going to say anything either.
"Actually, in my opinion, I think Mammon is the least 'scummy' and 'lowlife' person in this room. And he somehow managed to be the one with the most control. Seriously, at this point I'm certain that you all only ever say those things to him because you all know you're the real lowlives and you're just too pathetic to admit it."
You didn't want to stay there anymore, and since they all seemed to shocked to say or do anything, you stood up and quickly made your way to your room, though it wasn't long until someone was knocking on your door.
"Uh, human..?"
Mammon's voice.
You almost wanted to cry. He didn't usually knock, he preferred to just barge in with his stupidly cheerful attitude that never failed to make you smile.
"You can come in."
You voiced it quietly, a small part of you hoping that he wouldn't hear you and just leave instead, but seconds after he opened the door and let himself in.
He didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on your bed though, most likely trying to figure out what he should say in a situation like this.
What you weren't expecting was to hear the sounds of sobbing.
Worriedly, you say up and moved next to him, concern filling your entire body as you gently put your arms around his shoulders and made him lean on your chest.
"Hey, hey, shh, are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"
You tried to make your voice as gentle as possible. You weren't entirely sure what to do, but you never liked it when he was sad. His negative expressions and tears always layed heavy on your heart, so much that it was almost unbearable.
"Did- did you mea-mean it-?"
He stuttered out after a few minutes of you running your hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. You frowned, not entirely sure which part he was asking about.
"Which part are we talking about specifically?" You questioned him, though you made sure that your voice was soft.
"All of it." As soon as he answered your question, he got out of your embrace only to put his hands around your neck for a hug. You grinned, hugging him back.
"Of course I was. You're the one that's been there for me since I came here, and while I can agree that you don't always make the best decisions, they don't always make the best decisions either. They are your brothers, and they should never be saying things like that to you. Actually, from now on, each and every time they say something mean towards you, I want you to come to me so I can smother you in my love and affection."
Oh shit, fuck, did you just-
"Wait- like- uh- no- uhm- like in a-a, uh-"
He moved away from you, and you wondered if he regretted that considering how red his face was. You'd probably burn your hand if you touched his face at this point.
"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to say that again."
You gave him a patient smile, wanting him to feel comfortable. You were almost certain that he liked you back, since he wasn't exactly very good at hiding it, but you hadn't wanted to act on it before now incase you made him uncomfortable or that you were wrong.
Though his reaction only made you more certain.
He took a few moments to collect himself, before trying to speak up again, though he didn't seem able to look you in the eyes.
"Do, uh- do you mean like- like in a, uh, a rom-uhm.."
"Romantic?"
You inquired softly, and to your delight he nodded, still not looking at you.
This wasn't exactly a side of him you saw often, since he would usually try and deny anything, but you were happy about it.
You moved to hold his face in your hands, though he still refused to look you in the eyes.
"If you want to. I'm not sure how you feel, since nobody but you can be certain about that, but I know I like you, and wouldn't mind smothering your face in kisses each day."
Your tone was playful, be genuine. You felt his face heat up even more, if that was even possible. He changed the direction of his gaze to look directly into your eyes, and you felt like you would get lost in the ocean his eyes had.
He leaned forward for another hug, and you grinned, barely taking a single second to process it before you were moving your hands to hug him back.
"I like ya too."
You grinned even brighter, squeezing him tighter. You didn't ever want to leave his embrace, and while you knew that you would have to face both his brothers and the world later, it would be a lot easier with him by your side.
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aomine-ryo · 3 years
Text
Kind of late, but I had an idea for a fic that’s been in my drafts for a while and I wanted to post it for Kise’s birthday but it wasn’t quite done yet. But it is now, so here it is, hope you like it!
Scenario: New kid, Kise Ryouta ends up falling for the reader
gender neutral reader
It’s not particularly easy being the new kid at school. Especially if you were Kise Ryouta. Being a well known athlete and model, it was difficult for him to be able to find friends in a new place that didn’t have ulterior motives. However, Kise learned to deal with it. He was cold to people until he himself learned to respect them and understand their motives.
But the problem with him was not in the friendship category, but rather the romance one.
Kise had a tendency to fall for the first person that was nice to him in a new place, and that almost always ended in the other person using him. So this time, he promised himself that he was not going to hurt himself yet again.
On his first day, Kise stood at the front of the class and introduced himself. “Um, hi, nice to meet you, I’m Kise Ryouta. I look forward to getting to know you all and well, I don’t really know what else to say,” he said, turning to the teacher for some help. The class filled with a small chatter once he stopped talking, and he could already faintly hear comments about how ‘cute’ he looks.
“It’s alright Kise. You can take that empty seat next to Y/N over there,” the teacher said, pointing.
Your head snapped back to the front of the class from gazing out the window at the sound of your name. Of course the new kid got stuck in the seat next to you. He was cute, you couldn’t disagree. However, that only meant that everyone else was going to be swarming around your desk for a while.
The teacher went on with the regular announcements until the bell for first period rang. “Oh right, before I forget, Y/N, can I trust you to show Kise around the school during your break?” she added.
You held back a sigh as you nodded. “Sure,” you replied curtly, glancing over at Kise and giving him an awkward smile.
As expected, once the teacher left, he was soon surrounded by girls asking him questions that were borderline invasive. How do they do it? How do they simply have the courage to speak to people like that? In a way, you envied them for their confidence, but it was also quite pathetic.
Eventually, the break came around and Kise approached your desk with a polite smile. Why did he get stuck with you out of all people? You were the first one that caught his eye and Kise could already see himself catching feelings for you. But he made a promise to himself and he was going to keep it. He wasn’t going to get played with again.
“Hey, um, Y/N, right?” who was he kidding? He knew your name. It was stuck in his head ever since the teacher instructed him to sit next to you.
“Yeah, just give me a second, I just have to organise this mess and we’ll be on our way,” you said, fumbling with the stationery that was cluttering your desk.
“Oh, you don’t really have to give me that tour if you don’t want to. I don’t want to be a burden— I can probably figure things out myself,” Kise said.
“It’s alright, I don’t mind helping out. If you end up getting lost at some point I’ll feel bad,” you insisted, finally putting the last of your things away and standing up. “Okay, we’re all good. Shall we?”
Kise hesitated for a moment. He really didn’t want to do this, but he didn’t have any more excuses so he simply walked by your side.
You showed him all the classes that he would regularly be attending, adding a few tips that you learned through the years whenever you could. This was the most you’d ever spoken to someone who wasn’t a close friend and yet Kise remained rather silent. Did he think you were boring? Were you talking too much? God, why did you have to be assigned this task?
“Oh right, I almost forgot. Are you joining any clubs?” you asked him as you walked through the halls.
“Yeah, I’ll be joining the basketball club,” Kise nodded.
“Right, I figured,” you mumbled, making Kise let out a small chuckle.
“Hey, you might have made the right judgement this time, but don’t judge a book by its cover,” Kise joked.
“It was more of an intuition thing rather than judging you, I swear,” you replied defensively, holding back a giggle.
“Mhmm I’m sure it was,” he said sarcastically. He hated how bright your smile was. It was so warm and gentle, he could look at it all day. He barely even knew you, but he was already obsessed with your smile. Just his luck.
“Well, unfortunately for you, I’m the manager for the basketball team so you’ll be seeing a lot more of me.”
This had to be some sort of cruel joke. “Really? That’s great. So I could probably just tail behind you and not get lost by the looks of it.”
“Maybe,” you shrugged. You hoped he was joking. The last thing you needed was a bunch of fangirls trailing you around campus. “Let me show you the way to the basketball gym though, just in case I manage to escape you.”
“Escape me? Tired of me already huh?” Kise teased, dramatically pretending to be offended.
“Absolutely,” you joked.
Kise clasped a hand over his heart as though he got shot in the chest. “I am hurt, Y/N. What did I ever do to deserve this?” he recited.
“You know, the drama club is probably also looking for new members— I should show you their club room instead,” you retorted.
“Ha ha very funny,” Kise rolled his eyes. How were you two already joking around like this? He tried not to speak to you much, but it was like his charisma was forced out of him. Maybe he was overthinking it. You seemed nice. Maybe the two of you could be good friends.
And well, that’s pretty much exactly what happened. With the sheer amount of times you two see each other, it was no surprise that you’d become friends. It started with witty banter and random comments but soon, the two of you became close. After about three months, you were hanging out with each other every other day, going out for a bite after practice, going to the movies, walking to school together— the list goes on. And somehow, you never got tired of each other.
“Hey, Y/N-cchi, are you going for the field trip?” Kise asked you in between classes, referring to the yearly trip your school organises to a selected place in the country with a rich history.
“I’ll go if you do. But to be honest, I’d rather stay at home,” you replied.
“Well, we’re going then. It’ll be fun. There’s probably cute places to take pictures for Instagram,” Kise said.
“So I’m basically going to be your photographer?” you sighed.
“Precisely.”
“Sounds like a blast,” you groaned.
“I’m kidding, I will find a way to make this worthwhile. I heard that there’s a nice restaurant near the hotel we’re staying at, so we should pay that a visit,” Kise said.
“I’m exhausted just thinking about it,” you replied, resting your head on your palm.
“Shhh it’ll be fun, trust me,” Kise said, eyes softening up when he noticed how the sunlight that shone through the window landed on you like some sort of natural spotlight. His mind was about to wander off into a daydream when the teacher walked into the classroom, snapping his attention away from you.
The field trip finally rolled around and you found yourself in a fresh hotel room with a gorgeous view of the beach. Unfortunately, you didn’t get assigned to room with Kise, but it was alright since he was just a few doors down. As promised, Kise did his best to make sure you were having fun. You did have to take an awful lot of pictures of him, and sometimes he’d force you to take pictures with him, but Kise was always good company so you didn’t mind too much.
On the last night, Kise took you to that restaurant for dinner. “It’s kind of a fancy restaurant so we should dress up,” Kise informed you that afternoon.
“But that’s so tiring. Let’s just go to McDonalds instead,” you suggested.
“We are not going to McDonalds. I will dress you up myself if I have to,” Kise said firmly.
So in the end, you did end up dressing up, but you didn’t pack any nice shoes so you had to go with your sneakers. Of course, Kise patronised you for it, but you just replied with the wittiest comment you could think of, like always.
“Hi, I made a reservation here, for Kise Ryouta,” Kise said to the hostess.
The place was nicer than you expected it to be. It was a strange feeling being here with a reservation. It felt less like a hang out with your friend and more like a date. And for some reason, you were now nervous.
“Ah yes, right this way Mr Kise,” she said with a polite smile as she led you two to your table. “A window seat, just as you requested.”
“Perfect, thank you,” Kise said, glancing at the view of the night sky and the twinkling city lights below.
“Here are your menus, a waiter will be with you shortly. Enjoy your date,” she smiled.
“Oh, uh, it’s not a—” you began, but she walked off before you could correct her.
“Well that’s awkward,” Kise chuckled.
You simply sighed in defeat as you took a moment to admire your surroundings. There was a clean white cloth spread across your table with a candle and flowers as a centrepiece. It was a bit too romantic for your comfort, but you tried to shake it off. “Someone went all out for a simple dinner. You even requested a table by the window. How picky can you get?” You said teasingly.
“I just made a reservation in case this place would be busy. You wouldn’t want to wait in line would you?” Kise explained and you shook your head in response. “Exactly. And I got the window seat because I know you like to stare out sometimes. I figured you wouldn’t wanna stare at me all night long, so I got you a better view.”
You felt your stomach turn as your mind’s immediate thought was how Kise was enough of a view on his own. You had to admit, he looked fantastic that night— when he said he was going to dress up, he wasn’t kidding. It was a simple white button up shirt with a red tie, but he still looked dashing. Perhaps it was the fact that he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, showcasing his toned forearms that pulled the look together. Either way, you didn’t like the fact that you were viewing your friend in such a way.
“Oh my, what is this self deprecation? I thought I was hanging out with model and Generation of Miracles member, Kise Ryouta, not some emo teenager,” you said, your tone resembling Kise’s dramatic one that you’ve heard a thousand times before.
“Well, if you’re not going to appreciate my effort of getting us these seats, I can just ask them to move us away from the window,” Kise huffed.
“No, no,” you tracked back almost immediately. “I like the window. Thank you.”
“That’s what I thought,” Kise grinned triumphantly.
That night was absolutely lovely. But no matter now hard he tried, Kise couldn’t take his eyes off you. As expected, you’d rest your chin on your palm and gaze out the window with a faraway look in your eyes, and Kise could do nothing but admire how beautiful you looked. He couldn’t believe that he knew someone as amazing as you were. Moreover, he couldn’t believe that he told himself that he wouldn’t fall for you. What a dumb decision. But he was already this far in, maybe it was just that fact that he can’t have you that made him want you more. These feelings will pass, right?
As the two of you walked back to the hotel that night, a cool salty breeze flowed through the air. Kise had made you laugh yet again, and his heart filled with joy as the bright smile returned to your face. He could stay in this moment forever.
“I can’t believe this is our last night here,” Kise sighed once you simmered down.
“Yeah, this trip was actually kinda fun. I wish it didn’t end so soon,” you said, gazing up at the bright full moon.
“You think we can squeeze in one final adventure tomorrow morning?” Kise questioned.
“Where to?”
Kise shrugged, “I don’t know.”
“Well then, I’d rather stay in and sleep thank you very much,” you said.
“Are you tired yet?”
“Not really.”
“Then let’s go walk along the beach,” Kise suggested.
“But the sand gets everywhere, it’s so annoying,” you frowned.
“It’s our last night. Come on,” Kise said, grabbing your wrist and dragging you towards the empty beach.
The two of you walked by the water where the sand was firmer so that it less tedious. It was quite peaceful hearing the waves crash against the shore as the water glimmered under the moonlight.
“You know, when I first met you, I really didn’t wanna be your friend,” Kise said out of the blue.
“How rude,” you faked a gasp as you playfully whacked his arm, making him chuckle. “But to be honest, me neither.”
Kise looked at you with a dumbfounded expression. “Seriously, Y/N-cchi? But why?” he whined, seeming much more offended than you were.
“Because you always had people following you around and I didn’t want to be caught up in that,” you explained, kicking a pebble around as you walked.
“Oh,” Kise said, realising he probably shouldn’t have said anything because he couldn’t explain his reason as rationally as you did. “That’s fair, I guess.”
“Why didn’t you wanna be friends with me? Was I annoying?”
“What do you mean, you still are annoying,” Kise joked, earning himself another whack on the arm. “I’m kidding, no you weren’t annoying.”
“Then what was it?”
“Okay, this might sound really stupid, but I told myself that I wouldn’t go after the first person that’s nice to me, because that always ended up with people using me for something or the other,” Kise explained, stopping in his tracks to pick up a smooth pebble.
“That’s fair,” you said, trying not to overthink what he meant by ‘go after’ as you watched him skip the pebble over the waves.
Kise looked out at the horizon, seemingly lost in thought for a moment before turning back to face you. “You know, you caught my eye almost immediately and that was a red flag to me for the longest time, but you actually turned out to be pretty cool.”
It was strange seeing Kise like this. It was like he was possessed. He never speaks in such a serious manner with you. “Well duh, because I’m awesome like that,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.
A gentle smile spread across Kise’s face. “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for the first person I had a crush on, but here I am,” Kise let out a heavy sigh, glancing back out at the ocean for a moment.
“Crush? You had a crush on me?” you asked, your stomach doing twists and turns that made you feel as though you were going to throw up all the delicious food you had earlier.
“Yeah,” Kise muttered. What was he saying? Why was he complicating things? “I hate myself for it.”
“Oh. Um, it’s okay,” you said, unsure what to say. He clearly didn’t want to like you, so you didn’t want to bring up how you felt about him. “We can stay friends if you want, nothing has to change.”
Kise looked back at you, finding comfort in the warmth of your eyes. There was no dramatic outburst like he expected. You seemed to be considerate of his feelings. You genuinely did care for him. “I don’t mind staying friends. But is it okay if I do this?”
Before you could think twice about it, Kise had his soft lips pressed against yours. Even though your mind hadn’t fully wrapped itself around the situation, you found yourself kissing him back. Kise felt you melt into his touch as his heart skipped like pebbles on the water. God knows how much Kise had been longing for this moment. To have his arms around your waist, your body pressed against his, and his lips on yours. He could finally get a taste of you and it was better than any meal he could imagine. This just felt right.
After a few moments, Kise pulled back to catch his breath, his mind racing with thoughts that he couldn’t even keep up with. “I’m sorry,” was the only thing he could muster.
“Don’t apologise,” you shook your head, taking his hand in yours and squeezing it tightly. “I am absolutely okay with that.”
A wide smile spread across Kise’s face as his mind slowly began to clear up. Maybe his instincts were right this time. You were perfect to him the moment he laid his eyes on you, even though he tried to deny it. And as you stood in front of Kise with the moonlight glittering in your eyes, you were just as perfect as the day he met you.
99 notes · View notes
gasolineghuleh · 3 years
Text
Brattitude
Commission for @simply-skeletons for a Daddy Dom Aether and a bratty reader!
cw: contains daddy kink, choking, and squirting.
Not SFW below, No minors!
You sigh and stretch, rolling your shoulders and looking along the stretched out dining room table, laden with breakfast foods. Platters of eggs are heaped high alongside plates of bacon and sausage, pitchers of various juices and teas and the occasional scone or biscuit. None of it draws your attention quite as much as the Ghouls, however. The chatter of your fellow Siblings manages to drown out any chance of hearing conversation from the Ghoul table, but you aren’t exactly trying to hear anything— just trying to get his attention. When his pale blue glowing eyes finally turn to you, the zap of sudden attention pierces your core like a lightning bolt. Aether inclines his head towards you gently and mouths a single instruction:
“Eat.” You frown in response, toying with the scrambled eggs on your plate before looking back at him. He’s still watching you, of course, his own piece of semi-raw bacon held tightly between his claws as he waits for you to take a bite. When you shake your head with a smirk, he returns the gesture, inclining his head towards you again. “Now,” he mouths quietly, his tail pointing firmly towards your plate. You can tell that he’s enjoying the game by the way that he’s begun holding himself, subconsciously appearing taller and more in charge than he really is.
No one has noticed your little game besides Rain, sitting directly beside Aether. His eyes move between the two of you as he smiles around his own bites of food, clearly enjoying watching your silent standoff. This only prompts you to push your plate away from yourself and turn your attention to your friends, joining in on their conversation with ease and ignoring your Ghoul for the rest of the meal. When you do finally grab a bite of something to eat, it’s a glazed and sweetened scone rather than something of actual nutritional value. It isn’t until later, when the tables are cleared and everyone is bustling about to leave for their morning activities that you feel Aether’s hand close around your bicep tightly- the points of his claws dig just lightly into your bare arm and you can already feel a thrill going up your spine. 
“Being a bit of a spoiled one this morning, are we?” Aether’s warm voice curls around your senses like heated honey and incense smoke before a ritual and you feel yourself going slightly weak in the knees before you recover— you need to have your wits about you in order for this game to work, after all. It’s not one that you play often with him, but one that you know he enjoys almost as much as you do. After all, he always says he’s attracted to more of a brat than a tamed pet anyway.
“Wouldn’t want you to think you have all of the control, after all.” You’re able to meet his gaze, only slightly narrowed in amusement, before your eyes slide off to the side and spot Rain standing slightly behind him, still clutching his morning protein shake— not doubt full of the nutrients he’ll be needing for the strenuous rhythm practice with Mountain he’ll be heading off to shortly. “Good morning, Rain. How are you?” The Ghoul raises an eyebrow when you address him, inclining his head towards you in a silent greeting.
“Better than you’re going to be by the end of it,” he quips with a grin, finding the straw with his lips quickly and giving Aether a nod. With a loud slurp from the shake he wanders off, tail swishing happily. 
“You’ve given him enough to be pleased about all day. I hope you’re happy.” Aether’s hand tightens dangerously on your arm once more before he lets go, folding his arms as he watches his musical partner sashay through the large doors and into the Abbey proper. “He loves when one of our pets misbehaves. Just makes him brag about his own.” Rain disappears around the corner of the large door to the meeting hall in the direction of the soundproof music rooms and you hold back a snort of laughter, turning your attention back to your own Ghoul. 
“Oh? In that case, yes, I’m very happy.” Your friend calls your name to get your attention, waving you over to them and you nod, beginning to walk away from Aether. Already you can hear his growl of annoyance deep in his chest— it’s been ages since you’ve been bratty with him, and you can tell that the punishment (or perhaps reward) would be worth it… and a long time coming. 
“Hey! I’m not done with you, princess,” Aether says, a warning clear in his voice. Despite your better judgement, you persevere with your plan. You can practically feel the tightly controlled scolding simmering below the surface as he grinds the heel of his foot into the carefully waxed stone floor of the dining hall. “Sister-”
“Turns out I am, though! Catch you later, Aeth.” You give him a small wave and blow him a kiss, practically skipping away to join your friends and leave the dining hall. It’s a beautiful day outside and you all have made plans to spend most of it in the orchard, doing absolutely nothing. 
It’s one of the few days a month where the Siblings in the Abbey are given free reign to do with their time as they please— no lessons, mass, or scheduled events. As you and your small group of friends find a place on the grass to lay down and relax you can hear the shouts of other Siblings running past, playing games or having spirited discussions. Still, your ear is cocked for any sign of Aether or one of his bandmates keeping an eye on you. You know that at least Rain and Mountain will be mostly preoccupied, but Dew has a penchant for chasing his own pets throughout the Abbey gardens on down days. He and Aether often chat about how they enjoy the “prey and predator” feeling that comes with the territory. 
“You know that won’t end well, right?” your friend asks with a groan as she lays down in the grass beside you. Jolted out of your thoughts of being chased by Aether through the surrounding woods, you snap your focus back to your friends. You shrug as best as you can and tuck your arms under your head, content to watch the clouds roll by in puffy formations as you try to shake off the sudden urge to run that’s coursing through your legs like lightning. 
“I know what he likes and what he doesn’t. I won’t push him too far,” you explain. One of your friends grumbles in agreement, muttering something about how he’s currently tied up with Dew. Those who have an arrangement with their Ghouls know how far to take things when asked. The sun warms your bones and it doesn’t take long before it feels like you’re practically melting into the Earth. You’re drawn from your reverie when your friend snaps her hand in front of you again, attempting to get your attention. “What? What?” 
“I said, ‘he’s looking for you’. Look.” She points in a general direction, masking her gesture with a cough and using her elbow. You roll your eyes good naturedly but look anyway— sure enough, Aether is on the lawn, sitting on a large rock and watching you carefully as he balances a book on his knee. Your other friend, the one currently entangled with Dew, makes a not-so-subtle cooing noise under his breath.
“He’s watching you, isn’t he? Got his eyes on his little pet. Yeah, you got a good Ghoul in that one. Isn’t it great how they watch us sometimes?” Even though your stomach is aflutter from the sudden attention, your friend’s voice still manages to rub you the wrong way— it isn’t lascivious, it’s just some good old fashioned teasing.
“He does that even when I’m not being a brat, in all fairness.” You lift your arm and wave at him, smiling to yourself when he returns the gesture, albeit with a slightly confused expression. “He just loves me, that’s all.” The sun feels excellent on your face and you tilt back towards it, allowing your eyes to slip closed. Aether is the farthest thing from your mind as you and your friends chatter on, linking your hands together and comparing various studies and opinions on everything under the sun. 
Soon enough, however, a shadow falls over the three of you. Across the lawn you hear a piercing whistle and are hardly surprised when you look up, finding that it belongs to Dew. When you look beside you to mention this to your friend he’s already gone, sprinting to join his own Ghoul— no doubt eagerly answering the summons that you’ve chosen to ignore for the day. You roll your eyes and look up to what’s causing the shadow, only barely blinking when you notice that it’s Aether.
“You want something for lunch, my princess?” he asks, holding out a small brown bag, no doubt packed with your favourite foods. When you decide to be a brat, he always attempts to sway you back under his thumb with your favourite snacks or books, and it almost always works. The temptation is overwhelming, and you can smell the food already— roast beef, potato chips, and a Twinkie. Your stomach clenches in a small display of hunger, but you screw up your mouth as if you’re thinking about it. 
“Oh, here we go,” your friend chirps from beside you. She rolls onto her back deftly and gets up, leaving quicker than you thought was possible. Alone with Aether, you laugh and sit up, patting the grass beside you.
“Perhaps. Sit with me?” Aether nods and sits beside you, opening the paper bag and drawing out the sandwich that you knew lurked inside. You swallow hard, looking at it for a moment until he hands it over to you.
“Are you going to be a good girl for your daddy and eat some proper food, unlike this morning?” Aether inclines his head towards you and holds the sandwich out until you take it greedily, unwrapping it and taking a large bite. Instantly his hand flips and grabs your wrist tightly, squeezing until you look at him, eyes wide. “Slow down. I don’t want you getting sick. Okay?” When you don’t answer instantly, he jerks your hand slightly until you nod, resuming your chewing. “Good girl.” 
“I try,” you mumble around the mouthful of sandwich. He smiles and shakes his head, laughing a little as he pats your knee with a large hand. 
“I figured as much.” Aether watches you for a moment as you chew in silence before reaching into the bag and drawing out his own sandwich, a partially cooked slab of steak on ciabatta. “Boss made bread again. All of us are having steak sandwiches, courtesy of Cirrus,” he says in answer to your raised eyebrow.
“Is it any good? The bread, I mean.” You swallow an overly large bite and cough a little, noticing with a frown when Aether does nothing to help you through the almost-not-quite-a-choke. He merely waits for you to finish as he chews patiently before answering with a dry smile. 
“Hubris. And yes, it is. He has talent.” You roll your eyes at him in a wide circle and toss the last bite of the crust of your sandwich in a far arc into the woods before digging in the bag for the Twinkie that you know is hidden at the bottom. “You still aren’t eating your crusts?” Aether asks in a disapproving tone.
“You know I don’t like them. They’re yucky.” Twinkie retrieved, you pull it out and open the wrapper quickly, poking your tongue out at Aether as you settle back down to eat your treat. “Crusts have no nutritional value, you know.” 
“‘Yucky’? It’s bread.” Aether tosses the rest of his own sandwich into his mouth and claps his hands to his thighs. “Right. Lunch break is over. Be in my room at 8, dressed for sleep. Don’t be late.” Before you can open your mouth to respond he’s already unfolded himself from the grass, dusted off his smart black slacks and left.
Your friends eventually migrate back to your area, one of them looking slightly disheveled, and you manage to evade their constant questions about what exactly happened over lunch. Being teased for being a Ghoul pet isn’t exactly a new occurrence, but the attention from Aether in public certainly is— and you’re warming up to it. When you mention this to your friends, one of them perks up a little bit.
“Dew loves it when I brat around in public. But you know what he loves even more?” He leans closer, winking at you when you shy away, suddenly embarrassed at the topic. “When I do it in private. When he can scold me. Trust me, do that to Aether tonight when he asked you to show up for bed. It’ll drive him wild.” 
“I mean… You seem to know best, I suppose.” You pause, thinking for a moment before asking the question on the tip of your tongue. “How could I do that?” 
“Oh, easy!” your other friend suddenly supplies, flushing when your attention shifts to her. Her eyes focus on the sunset in the distance as she talks, firmly fixing her gaze away from you. “Maybe you just show up… Not quite ready. Maybe one thing is slightly off. With how he’s been acting and how disobedient you’ve been today, maybe it’ll just send him over the edge.” You sit up and stretch before rising to your feet, giving it some thought before you respond. 
“I think I can manage that.” With that, you toss your friends a wink and flounce back to the Abbey, a spring in your step as a plan forms in your mind’s eye. 
Later, at half past 8 in the evening, you knock loudly on Aether’s door before letting yourself in. The Ghoul has clearly been waiting for you impatiently, as evidenced by his posture on the edge of his bed and the drumming of his claws against the wooden posts holding up the mattress. Aether stands up as soon as you fling his door open, kicking it shut quickly behind you with a hiss. 
“I instructed you to be at 8! Sharp!” His eyes narrow as he looks down at you, scanning your outfit before frowning. “And you’re wearing… your habit still? I said come dressed for bed. Sathanas, do you just like to disobey me?” 
“Maybe I do,” you offer, your eyes meeting his and not deviating. You watch as his pupils dilate in quick and sudden arousal, his chest widening as his breathing deepens. The tip of his tongue darts out briefly to wet his lower lip and before you know it, his hand is clasped to the back of your neck. Aether’s claws dig briefly into the soft skin at the sides of your neck and you gasp, already bending under the pressure he’s exerting as you fall to your knees. 
“Then maybe I like forcing obedience. Did you ever consider that, Sister, hm?” Aether says, his voice becoming a low hiss in your ear as he crouches in front of you, watching as your face gets closer and closer to the ground. Just before your nose hits the carpet he lets go of you roughly, turning and stalking back to his bed before snapping his fingers sharply. “Crawl to daddy, Sister. Show me how sorry you are for disobeying me in front of all of those people today.” 
When you look up at him, crawling forward on your hands and knees, you can’t help the thought that he surely does make a pretty sight when he’s seated above you. His eyes are glowing in a mixture of arousal, arrogance and annoyance as he beckons to you with two fingers, pointing at the ground in front of him. You slide your hands reverently up his legs to his knees before continuing along his thighs, pausing when you reach the upper portion of the taut muscles. He just nods, motioning for you to continue before reaching up and tearing off your hair covering, tossing it into a far corner of the room.
“Such a pious little Sister, aren’t you? On your knees for a leader of the church. A true servant.” Aether’s tone is mocking and condescending, but you don’t have the time to be embarrassed at the hot spike of lust that spears through your cunt. His hands pull down his fly and then his cock is in front of you, held at base by his fist and enticingly close to your lips. “Go on then. Serve.” 
As soon as you bring your lips to the head of his cock he thrusts forward, his free hand coming to the back of your head and entangling in your hair, now free of the head covering. He groans as you slip yourself lower, dipping your tongue down to caress over his knuckles, making sure to show him how in control you are of yourself. When the head of his cock bumps your soft palate you cough slightly, using the moment to readjust yourself on your knees. His hand grips tighter in your hair, dragging you up along his shaft until he pulls you off of him, gasping and already drooling.
“I love you best like this, you know, princess. Supple and pliant. You’re so willing to just… finally- do everything I say. Isn’t that right?” You nod with difficulty when his fingers tighten in your hair almost painfully as his other hand runs the head of his cock along your lips. Aether hisses inward when your tongue flicks out to greet it, sliding himself past your lips once more and dragging you down until your nose bumps against his pelvis. 
You moan around him, shifting on the floor as you feel the nylon of your stockings beginning to stick to you even more with every thrust of his hips. When you gasp inward, choking on his cock until tears roll out of your eyes, he presses his advantage and moves his hands to either side of your face. Aether waits until you make eye contact with him and nods subtly, pressing you down into his lap and holding you there momentarily before letting you up once more as he coos down at you.
“That’s a good girl, princess. You’re being such a good girl for daddy finally, aren’t you?” Aether’s thumb strokes along your cheek as he manipulates you, dragging you along his shaft slowly. His eyes never leave your lips, watching as his cock disappears into your mouth over and over. Finally he lets you up for air, sitting further back on the bed and patting his lap firmly. “I think you’ve deserved a bit of a reward, don’t you?”
“Only if daddy thinks I have,” you respond with ease, rising from your knees and settling on his lap to face away from him, just how he likes it.. He presses his palm to your stomach, tucking you against his chest as he raises your leg and plants it firmly on the bed beside you. You manage to keep it there as his hand trails along your body, rubbing your leg lovingly until he finally finds the wet patch at the apex of your thighs, dampened with your slick and no doubt evident to his searching fingers. 
“Oh, my. What do we have here, princess? Are you all wound up just from servicing daddy?” You manage to nod and tuck your head against his shoulder, knowing exactly what he plans to do next— the sight of it always leaves you weak in the stomach and clenching for more. Sure enough, you can feel the grab of his claw as it snags in the nylon of your stocking, and the tugging only intensifies as he sheers through the fabric. Aether growls low in his throat when he feels your lack of panties, already moving his fist back towards his cock to direct it to your entrance. “Just couldn’t wait any more, could you?”
“Been thinking about this all day,” you sigh, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and closing your eyes as you lean against him. In no time, his cock has already found its way inside of you and he presses you down hard into his lap, grinding your ass against his hips as he seats himself to the hilt. “Fuck, that feels so nice, Aeth.” He nods and groans in agreement, kissing the side of your neck before sinking his teeth into the sensitive skin there.
Both of you moan in tandem as he shifts his hips, rocking upward into you at the same moment that the pad of his index finger finds your clit. He manages to keep up a decent rhythm as he helps you bounce on his lap, his finger swiping across you in a beat that you can’t quite predict— it’s enough to set off sparks of electricity across your skin every time he does it, though. Soon enough his tail begins to creep along the edges of your vision, finally settling along your other leg to wrap around your calf. When you nod your consent he lifts your leg with it gently, holding it aloft as his cock spears you, his other hand working you along his lap in a fervor as he nears his own climax.
“Aeth- Aeth, I need- All I need is-”
“I know,” he finishes for you, sealing your lips in a heated kiss as his teeth instantly score along your lower lip. The small nip of pain is enough to send you rocketing over the edge of your climax and you cum hard, stars bursting across your vision. You hear him murmuring to you, his lips grazing across yours softly as he does so, but you don’t have time to catch the words that he’s saying as you cum again, this time prompted by his sudden and concentrated assault on your clit with two fingers. 
By the time you come to your senses and return from your out of body experience he’s already finished inside of you, his cock still pulsing with the last vestiges of his own orgasm. In front of you on the stone floor is a small pool of the evidence of your arousal and you flush bright red— you knew that was his goal all along, when he lifted your leg and started concentrating on your clit. Aether works your body like a well tuned guitar and you’re more than happy to let him do it as often as he’d like. 
“Mm,” he hums, nuzzling his nose into your hair briefly, tail lowering your leg. “I told you to come dressed for bed… What are you going to sleep in now?” You laugh, laying your head back onto his shoulder and pressing a fond kiss to his cheek underneath the mask. 
“I figured we wouldn’t be sleeping at all.” 
“I can certainly make that happen,” he assents after a short pause. 
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midnightsconspiracy · 3 years
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Faith Restored
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Faith Restored - @midnightsconspiracy
Summary: When an argument with your husband causes you to walk out, a vendetta against him leads to you being kidnapped. But will Hank find you in time to be reunited with him and your child?
Warnings: Swearing, Violence
Word Count: 2670
Requested: Yes! I got these two requests so decided to combine them into one fic as they were pretty similar, so I hope the people that requested don't mind. :)
"hi!! I’m so happy I found someone that loves hank too. I’ll literally take any fic with him: age gap romance, marriage, having a baby, his enemies taking you and him tearing the city apart to get you back, some combination of all that, I’ll take it all. thank you for your writing!!"
"Hii! I love your fics 💖 could you please write something with hank, like he arguments with his girlfriend about their work, then she’s kidnapped and he gets all worried and asks for forgiveness, if you don’t feel comfortable with that it’s aaaaall goood :) xoxo"
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this fic and I have a few more requests to write so stayed tunes for them. But thank you for your support and keep sending requests in. Also if you've got some free time drop me a message, I'd love to hear from some of you guys!!!
Masterlist
Love. It was a feeling you had refused to believe in. Everyone around you telling you that the one was out there, and it was only a matter of time, but you were convinced that wasn’t true. At one point previously you had believed in it but that only led to a broken heart and weeks of uncontrollable crying, the man you thought was the one, cheating on you only days before your wedding. So how could it be true if the universe had let you suffer that badly? But as cliché as it sounds, that point of view changed completely as soon as you started your new job as a detective in the intelligence unit. From day one you had fallen head over heels for your boss, that hope of love finally returning. It had taken a long time for you to trust him and enter a fully committed relationship as that fear of heartbreak and the large age gap between you loomed over you both initially. Hank had been the best though, taking his time going step by step to make sure you were comfortable with everything, as well as keeping away the judgement from others the best that he could. He understood that feeling himself, still suffering the loss of Camille’s death, scared that you would leave him, but instead of being non-committal, it drove him to love you more, living each day like it was his last.
Now five years later, your relationship was pure bliss. Long gone were the days of doubts and distrust, instead replaced with only contentment and loyalty. Onlookers still judged the unconventional age difference but you had learned to live with it, coming to the conclusion that you loved Hank regardless and that was all that mattered. Only eight months into the relationship he decided that you really were the one for him, and a world in which he didn’t spend the rest of his life with you was one he couldn’t imagine, and so proposed inside his office, the place that started it all. You married shortly after at the courthouse, with only a small guest list, just wanting to be surrounded by your closest friends and family. The unit all in attendance, some crying, others wishing it were them getting married but collectively all ecstatic at the fact their favourite office romance was finally tying the knot. The next couple of months felt like absolute paradise, like you were in some sort of dream never to wake up again. Never a day went by where you didn’t feel the utmost joy and love in your heart, each day was a new adventure with the man that you could finally call your husband. You were on cloud nine thinking your life couldn’t get any better, until one day two pink lines stared back at you.
When you married Hank you didn’t expect to have any children, with him already having Justin and a grandson. This left you a little disheartened, but you would have married him under any conditions, even if that meant your dream of having kids would never come true. Whilst talking about your future together in the first few months of dating, the topic of kids had come up once or twice, with him stating he would love to have kids with you, but believing he couldn’t have any due to his age. But once you had told him you were pregnant, he was absolutely elated, even crying whilst confessing how much he loved and appreciated you. After a relatively difficult pregnancy with Hank being the most supportive, protective partner there could be, you gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy weighing in at 8 pounds, having his eye colour and your nose, a perfect combination of the both of you. For the first few years of your babies life, you spent your time staying at home looking after him, watching him grow up to look more and more like your husband each day. But finally, after his third birthday, you decided the unit was your calling and you wanted to rejoin your old team.
Things started off relatively normal, reuniting with the unit properly, finally becoming a team again. Adrenaline filled your veins once more, loving the thrill of arresting criminals and going on busts. The words ‘let's roll out’ sent sparks of serotonin throughout your body, loving being back after years of ‘calmness’ from child care. This new feeling caused you to get a little over-excited sometimes but nothing, in your opinion, that could be considered careless. However, if you asked Hank he would completely disagree. The man just wanted you to be safe at all times, not just for him but for your son as well. Things started heating up after a couple of weeks of you working there, him not wanting to address it initially as he knew you were so happy doing what you loved, but he was scared for your safety. He didn’t want a repeat of his last marriage, he adored you so much he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you were to get an injury or die. That was until one night, a bad day at the office caused him to snap, needing you to know how he felt about what you were doing.
Leaning against the counter in the kitchen at your shared home, you heard the door slam, knowing it was Hank, who had stayed behind in his office after a particularly nasty case.
“Hi Babe, did you get everything done that you wanted to?” You chirped, just happy that your husband was finally home.
“Y/N we need to talk,” you turned around to face him, your smile falling at his serious tone.
“Ok?”
“I understand you love being back in the unit but Y/N, we have a son now”
“What are you trying to say?” You replied, your tone turning sour, part of you knew what he was trying to say, but never in your mind did you think he would confront you about it. Why couldn’t he just be happy for you?
“I just think you’re being too reckless in the field,” he remained calm, just trying to get you to understand where he was coming from.
“Reckless? Are you fucking kidding me! I’ve spent three years looking after our kid and you can’t even allow me to have this?” You were furious by this point, you loved your job and had been away from it for a long time. Ok, maybe you were a little under cautious sometimes but not what he was suggesting!
“I'm just looking out for you, I can’t have you dying on me Y/N! You’re my wife for god’s sake I want you to be alive and safe!” He raised his voice, angry you couldn’t see what he was seeing.
“You know what fuck you, Hank!” You pushed past him, grabbing your keys and wallet on the way out, getting into your car to go anywhere but that house.
Driving around the city you were thinking of places to go, your parents, a hotel, another member of the units house? Finally deciding on Jay’s apartment you pulled into his buildings car park, checking your phone before going inside. Staring back at you were five missed calls and thirteen unread messages, all from the same person, the reason why you were outside someone else’s apartment and not your own home. Getting out of your car you walked towards the entrance of the apartment building, mulling over whether you should message Hank back. Deciding against it, you lowered your phone, not even wanting to think about it for the time being. Suddenly someone grabbed you by the waist, yanking you towards them, placing a foreign material over your mouth. You screamed, praying someone would hear your cries as you kicked your legs out and at the perpetrator as they dragged you backwards. More hands reached out to pull you into a car, sobbing you regretted what happened earlier, wishing you would have just stayed home. Finally, as your vision blurred, you hoped the unit would find you before it was too late.
Waking up in a cold room, you tried to pull your arm towards your chest, meeting resistance in the form of metal chains attached above your head. You groggily looked around, using your detective skills to assess the situation you were in, noting nothing in the cold, concrete room except yourself and a metal frame chair placed in front of you. Confused at the situation, you thought about what you had done, was it a person you had arrested? Or someone who had a vendetta against you? That you didn’t know, you couldn’t comprehend anything at the moment, your head pounding not allowing you to think clearly. You remembered being in the apartment complex’s car park after an argument but other than that everything was hazy. Thinking as hard as you could, your thoughts were interrupted as one of the offenders entered the room. He sat at the chair, sharpening his knife, a sadistic smirk played on his face.
“You know why you’re here?” Raking your brain you couldn’t think of anyone you had pissed off enough for them to go to these extremes.
“No,” you replied not wanting to antagonise him in any way.
“Your killer of a husband murdered my boy in broad daylight and no one, NO ONE, ever did anything about it!”
“That wasn’t me, please just let me go, you can talk it out with my husband in the proper ways!” You pleaded, knowing that him showing you his face didn’t bode well for your chances of survival.
“YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS THE DAY YOU MARRIED THAT MURDERER!” He shouted out, punching you in the stomach, taking his anger out on you anyways possible.
“He’ll find us, and when he does he’ll kill you too,” you spat knowing that you couldn’t make anything worse. In response he threw a series of punches at your face, grabbing his knife holding it to your throat. Smirking he replied,
“You think he really cares about you?”
“WELL, WHERE IS SHE?” Hank was absolutely seething. Shouting at anyone who came to talk to him, both members of his unit and uniformed officers alike. He couldn’t lose her, besides his son, she was his whole life, not even wanting to picture a world where she wasn’t with him. He had to prepare for the worst, he knew that, but he couldn’t do it without a tear coming to his eye. Why her? Why couldn’t they just have taken him instead? He was who they wanted, not her, so why couldn't they just have fucking take him?! The team all sat watching, waiting, knowing it was only a matter of time before he would come out and demand answers, ones they didn’t have at the moment. They owed their boss, cashing in multiple favours with him throughout their time in intelligence, and they knew this was the only thing Voight would ever ask for in return. And Y/N, you had worked with them for years, not just being colleagues but developing a strong friendship that would last years to come, that’s if they could find you in time. Exiting his office, the unit turned to their boss as he spoke.
“I want everyone giving their all to this case, this is my wife we’re talking about, not just some faceless victim, Y/N, your friend, your colleague, and we are going to find her. No matter what it takes, am I clear?” Each detective replied with a ‘yes sarge' and getting to work, investigating every lead that they could. A couple of hours later the team had found the suspects, located pod footage from the time you were kidnapped and worked out a motive, everything seemed like was going well, except for the fact they still didn’t have a location. Another hour passed and still no location, Hank getting more and more agitated by the second, with his anger about to boil over, all with the push of a button, or a certain detective. Being the bearer of bad news, the team pushed Ruzek to play the devils advocate to tell the Sergeant they had come up empty.
“Hey Sarge, we’ve got nothing else, every lead we’ve got is coming up dry”
“NOTHING! YOU’VE GOT NOTHING? SHE COULD BE DEAD FOR ALL WE KNOW AND YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU’VE GOT NOTHING?” Hank boomed scared that his precious wife, who had done nothing to deserve this, could be being tortured or even worse dead.
“Hank, Hank” Olinsky stepped in, pushing his distraught friend back in his office, knowing Adam had done nothing wrong, instead just an outlet for his long term friends anger.
“It's ok, she’s gonna be fine” Alvin reassured him, knowing him exploding with emotions would do nothing to help his missing wife. Finally, an hour later, the team got a breakthrough courtesy of a CI of Dawson's, gearing up and rolling out as quickly as possible much to Hank’s delight.
Raising your head, you spat at the man in front of you, teasing him even more, threatening him to do his worst. He had beat you, cut you, degraded you, trying to get your spirit to break. Although you knew Hank would come to find you, you were starting to crack, the pain overwhelming to the point where you couldn’t cope anymore, a pain you wouldn’t wish on anyone. You were losing faith rapidly, expecting your unit to have already come by now, but where were they? Maybe they didn’t actually care about you? Lowering your head after a series of more beatings, you’d had enough.
“Please stop, please, I’ll do whatever you want, just please stop!” You cried finally giving into the man.
“I want you to pay for what your husband has done to my family, pay with your life,” he pulled a gun from the waistband of his trousers, pointing straight at the middle of your forehead. You had lived your life as much as you could, finding the love of your life, having a son and restoring your faith in the universe, well up until now. Closing your eyes you prepared yourself for the bullet, but when the loud shot came, it wasn’t from a gun but instead the door flying off its hinges.
“DROP THE WEAPON!” Someone shouted, someone that sounded weirdly familiar to your husband.
“DROP IT,” they repeated before you heard a clatter on the ground and a flurry of movement. Suddenly someone grabbed your face, nervously speaking your name. Opening your eyes, you looked up, staring straight into the eyes of your husband, smiling briefly before a cloud of darkness washed over you.
Waking up, the first thing you noticed with the constant beeping of a machine, then the warm feeling of a hand in yours. You slowly opened your eyes, blinking sluggishly adjusting to the harsh light, before focusing on the figure beside you.
“Hank?” You croaked, sounding like death itself but glad you were alive and facing your husband once more.
“Baby! Thank god you’re alive, you got me so worried there,” you smiled, thanking whatever god was out there for a second chance so you could spend the rest of your life with your husband and child.
“I-i missed you, Hank”
“I know Baby, I know I missed you too.”
“I’m sorry for walking out on you, why couldn’t I have just stayed there and listened to you? Talked it out properly”
“No don’t apologise, this was all my fault, you loved what you were doing and I was trying to take that away from you because of my own selfish wants.” You loved the man beside you unconditionally and although you were mad in the moment, this whole situation made you realise that nothing he could do could make you love him any less.
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edenmemes · 4 years
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hades sentence starters
❝ somebody else came through earlier. you should have seen the look on my face when it wasn’t you! ❞ ❝ let’s forgive each other and forget, go back to how things used to be? ❞ ❝ right now i wouldn’t talk to me if i were you. ❞ ❝ i’ll have to pick up the pieces somehow, and figure out how to get on with my existence. ❞ ❝ we have caused such violence in the intervening time, that we must take this as a real victory. ❞ ❝ i’ll wait for you however long it takes. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. but this is something i have to do. you wouldn’t understand. ❞ ❝ the only one responsible for all of this is you. and i thought even you would have understood that by now. ❞ ❝ i don’t like it when you’re quiet for too long, what’s on your mind? ❞ ❝ what is it with you gods talking behind the backs of all your friends? ❞ ❝ the world you seek out there...it’s even crueler than the one you know. ❞ ❝ look, i don’t hold grudges, you know that. ❞ ❝ i’m worried you’re going to burn yourself out if you keep pushing yourself past your limits. ❞ ❝ your lapse in judgement here is not so easy to forgive, yet easily punished. ❞ ❝ i didn’t mean to lose my temper with you. ❞ ❝ the fates are pretty mean to keep on doing this to you. ❞ ❝ i hardly think this is the time or place to indulge your overwrought imagination. ❞ ❝ for our sparring practice, there's no teacher than the real thing. ❞ ❝ they say a lot of things about me; and they’ll tell you, ample caution is in order. ❞ ❝ either your limitless power has considerably waned, are you are up to something. ❞ ❝ i risked everything by helping you out there. ❞ ❝ my voice is nothing but the crunch of gravel underfoot compared to yours, which soars as though on wings. ❞ ❝ to doubt is an important instinct. without it, we could not conceive of better circumstances than the ones we know. ❞ ❝ let’s not set a bad example for the family. we’re better than all that, they’ve many bad examples as it is. ❞ ❝ you are persuasive like your mother, and determined like your father. ❞ ❝ if you think for an instant that i shall go easier on you, you’ll soon learn otherwise. ❞ ❝ is clinging to a memory what keeps the soul from fading? ❞ ❝ don’t know what it is about you, but i feel like i can be me with you, you know? ❞ ❝ war, much like the heavens and the sea, can be considered as a force of nature. ❞ ❝ if you know that you could only see me for but a moment’s time...would you still make the journey for me? ❞ ❝ i, too, wish for a lot of things. unfortunately there’s no unraveling the fates’ patterns. ❞ ❝ i left when it was necessary. i thought of you and hoped you’d understand. ❞ ❝ all of which you think you have achieved was merely handed to you. ❞     ❝ the past me, it’s as though...it wasn’t even me. this is me, now. ❞ ❝ in war, one must take sides, and you had best choose mine. ❞ ❝ i do not act by whim or by mistake. ❞ ❝ i just don’t understand. why keep on being nice to me, like this? ❞ ❝ you’re so much more than what you said. i wish you could see that. ❞ ❝ it’s really nice, sometimes...knowing somebody really cares about me. ❞ ❝ my father? he’d not a one redeeming quality. ❞ ❝ we can learn from our mistakes or we can keep repeating them. ❞     ❝ there’s nothing you can do to hurt me. ❞     ❝ soon doubtless it’ll be your portrait hanging on that wall back there. ❞ ❝ just don’t go starting any wars you don’t intend to finish. ❞ ❝ you do something for me, in the meantime: don’t give in to what you’re feeling now. ❞ ❝ it is not often i attempt to kill someone and they survive. bravo! ❞ ❝ why does the soul remain, after the body bleeds, and dies, and turns to ash? ❞ ❝ all gods and goddesses are to be feared. ❞ ❝ what more could i have even done? could i have swayed you, in any other way? ❞ ❝ i tried, with all my might, with all my heart, you must know that, and still, it never was enough. ❞ ❝ i’m pleased to see your father’s stubbornness is manifest in you as such determination. ❞ ❝ i’m really starting to hate you. you know that? ❞ ❝ know that i am grateful for the outcome. even if i fail to act like it ❞ ❝ i’m with you every step. then i will probably ignore you like the rest. just warning you ahead of time. ❞ ❝ i only wish we met sooner, though i’m grateful to have met you at all. ❞ ❝ you work too hard. live a little. ❞ ❝ i warn you: i shall hold nothing back. ❞ ❝ that’s something very private that you’re asking... ❞ ❝ use caution with the tone you take with me. ❞ ❝ if you have any sense remaining in that head of yours, i caution you not to discuss this here and now. ❞ ❝ you saw something in me i never knew was there. in turn, with you, i felt....calm. whole. ❞ ❝ i only know that i was filled with rage. ❞ ❝ the fates decided this for us, i guess, and so...who are we to complain? ❞ ❝ i pray the fates not ruin all your dreams as they did mine. ❞ ❝ what’s the worst that could happen? ❞ ❝ they left their mark upon the world. shall you? ❞ ❝ your mockery of me may temporarily embolden you, but achieves nothing useful in the end. ❞ ❝ what exactly is it that makes you feel entitled to show me such disrespect? ❞ ❝ i’ve got to admit, you are really frustrating, you know? ❞ ❝ i seem to have this whole ‘easy-to-underestimate’ thing about me. ❞ ❝ you seem a little quieter than usual. dare i even say a little somber and remorseful, for some reason? ❞ ❝ it’s because i like you. in case you still have some misgivings about that. ❞ ❝ keep following that heart of yours. it’s good enough a guide, believe me. ❞ ❝ you always seem in good spirits, though. ❞ ❝ i cannot change the past. and there is only so much i can do about the future. ❞ ❝ a loving heart is a forgiving heart. ❞ ❝ just in case it hasn’t been made clear as crystal lately, let me tell you: when presented with the opportunity, don’t ever reject me. ❞ ❝ you know, i got to say i had a few concerns when we first met, your father being who he is and all. ❞ ❝ i like it when my prey bites back. ❞ ❝ my attempts at making peace are going to be rather subtle for your tastes. ❞ ❝ you'd best not take for granted my affection yes, i’ve lots of it to go around; but i can just as easily rescind such privileges. ❞ ❝ don't be messing with my feelings. my loyalty's hard-won and quickly lost. ❞ ❝ the truth is i’m a lover, not a fighter. ❞ ❝ if i may say? you’re a hell of a guy. ❞ ❝ you truly take me to the best of places. ❞ ❝ death shall come. either to your enemies, or you. ❞ ❝ a mortal’s life is short, and fraught with pain; is that truly the life you yearn for? ❞ ❝ you think you are superior to me? you are a fool. ❞ ❝ even i have doubts, from time to time. ❞ ❝ i wasn’t expecting to make any new friends here anytime soon. ❞ ❝ i grow angry merely thinking of your situation. ❞ ❝ i wanted to apologize for when i pried about your past. ❞ ❝ nobody gets out of here, whether alive or dead. you think i jest? you think i haven’t tried? ❞ ❝ they got me, finally, of course. but not before i broke them first. ❞ ❝ you are immortal, but in a manner, you can die. ❞ ❝ you have a lot of nerve --- but little else. ❞ ❝ oh, you look terrible, if i may say. ❞ ❝ you’re either naive or you’re much too kind, or both. ❞ ❝ despite whatever difficulties you’ve encountered, again and again, you have never yielded. ❞ ❝ though, that war? don’t ask me about it again. all right? ❞ ❝ you may not make your father very proud, but it is just the opposite with me. ❞ ❝ even i’m beginning to fear you, i think. seems i don’t know you as well as i thought. ❞ ❝ you have a worried look about you. spare me your thoughts? ❞ ❝ names are there to be forgotten. ❞ ❝ it’s not your fault. you couldn’t have known. ❞ ❝ i know it’s not been easy for you. ❞ ❝ you honor me...i have done nothing to deserve this. ❞ ❝ oh, how i hate to fight with you like this! ❞ ❝ follow your heart? that’s odd advice, especially from you. ❞ ❝ the fear of death keeps mortals well in check. you’d best learn to fear something yourself. ❞ ❝ you are going to get me in a heap of trouble before all is said and done. ❞ ❝ i'll hear no more such wicked lies, half-truths, or quarter-truths. ❞ ❝ well, if you won’t say it, i’ll say it. good-bye. ❞ ❝ i know of no one, nothing stronger, other than the love we share. ❞ ❝ i’ve some memories i’m not quite ready to give up on, yet. ❞ ❝ you seem less warlike than the rest. ❞ ❝ can’t always trust what feelings say. ❞ ❝ my temper i shall keep in check, but only barely so. ❞ ❝ i am unmade, unwhole, here in this place, alone. ❞ ❝ my past is not really worth mentioning. ❞ ❝ you may not really need me, but i will take these opportunities to help. ❞ ❝ you sound a little tongue-tied. just like you always used to around me. ❞     ❝ you should be ashamed of yourself, and learn your place. ❞ ❝ this look like a shoulder to cry on to you? ❞ ❝ ...you know who you sound like right now, don’t you? i can’t believe this. ❞     ❝ i think, deep down, you are still that inexperienced little godling that you used to be. ❞ ❝ i always had doubts the gods were listening. that they could even hear. ❞ ❝ i was just checking up on you, just...let me know if you wanted to talk, for any reason. ❞ ❝ if there’s one thing i know, it’s that the three fates always get their way. ❞ ❝ hey, you’re not alone. you’re not alone, ok? ❞ ❝ you're not exactly easy to approach, you know. ❞          ❝ i grieve for you, my friend. ❞ ❝ are you lecturing me about healthy relationships with family? your family is the most broken and corrupted in the history of the entire concept. ❞ ❝ you think you can just walk away from me? ❞ ❝ how about it, then? care for a drink, with me? ❞     ❝ you are entirely too young to have had meaningful experience with loss. ❞ ❝ something the matter, there? or have you come to torment me some more with idle chat? ❞ ❝ you will find me waiting for you once you get here. every single time. ❞ ❝ men worship ares willingly; they are so much like him. ❞ ❝ while love’s the force that brought me and countless other’s low in life, it also brought me and countless others strength. ❞ ❝ others shall always doubt me. you may doubt me. ❞ ❝ beware the narrow distance between hastiness and swiftness. ❞ ❝ a crashing wave or thundering tempest are nothing to a broken heart. ❞ ❝ think back on when you started all of this. you now know so much more. are capable of so much more. ❞ ❝ as ever, you think only of yourself. ❞ ❝ this is where you belong. you feel out of place? where would you even go? your place is here. ❞ ❝ your path is yours to shape as you see fit, regardless of the fates’ design. ❞ ❝ you’re no god! you’re nothing but a piece of trash, born into all of this. ❞ ❝ you seem to have me all figured out. and here i thought we were still getting to know each other. ❞ ❝ are there truly no depths to which you would not stoop? ❞ ❝ leave me be, and don’t think you’re going to be so lucky next time we meet out there. ❞ ❝ you have the tendency to ask too many questions. ❞ ❝ i smell the blood on you. you are severely wounded. ❞ ❝ don’t be messing with my feelings there. my trust is hard-won and quickly lost. ❞ ❝ if you wish to test the fine relationship we’ve built, why then, i can confirm you’re testing it, all right. ❞ ❝ don’t ever take me for some thoughtless nymph to be manipulated. ❞ ❝ don’t get on my father’s bad side like that and you’re going to be fine. ❞ ❝ how’s your endless toil treating you? ❞ ❝ i’d never trade my bow for all that pomp and armor. but, to each their own. ❞ ❝ let me see you now for what you truly are. ❞ ❝ was i deceived, in thinking this of you, of us? ❞ ❝ i get what i want around here. ❞ ❝ don’t you understand i’m trying to fix the problems you caused? ❞ ❝ the gods are on my side, not yours. ❞ ❝ don’t you dare look at me like that. ❞ ❝ life isn’t particularly fair. i’d have expected you to know as much. ❞ ❝ i’m leaving. try and stop me. ❞ ❝ you have no concept of which impulses to act upon, and which to keep in check. ❞ ❝ when i inevitably, inadvertently trample all over your feelings at some point, please tell me, all right? ❞ ❝ you don’t even know who i am. who i was. ❞ ❝ won’t you come back to me? when you are able, please. come back. i shall be waiting here, however long it takes. ❞ ❝ never met a god that bleeds like you. red. like a worthless mortal. ❞ ❝ i got to hanf it to you. you don’t back down. you don’t ever back down. ❞ ❝ i’ve a tip for you: don’t be slow! ❞ ❝ you can’t escape your problems. you have no choice but to confront them, and work through it, sooner or later, one way or another. ❞ ❝ i knew you had a more sinister trick at play, because your fighting style certainly is of no concern just on its own. ❞ ❝ i...feel awful. i...i have to go. ❞ ❝ once people set their minds to certain things, it can be difficult to show them other possibilites exist. ❞ ❝ there’s something that i’ve wished to tell you: there’s no shame in your upbringing. ❞ ❝ i have known too many far too proud to accept help, even when it was sorely needed. ❞ ❝ may you yet come to your senses. ❞ ❝ i have virtually done everything within my powers to prevent this. all of it...for nothing. ❞ ❝ you can’t be serious. you’re going to pretend as though it never happened? ❞ ❝ seems i’m left to thanking myself, since you’re too proud to do it. ❞ ❝ fight like i’d fight out there. ❞ ❝ what have i done to deserve such scorn? ❞ ❝ you left, without so much as telling me good-bye. ❞ ❝ you’ve such weak blood, and such a temperament... ❞ ❝ i am very, very sure i haven’t murdered anyone. ❞ ❝ i am truly blessed simply to have made your acquantince. ❞ ❝ you wish to take advantage of my pity? ❞ ❝ it comforts me to see how far you’ve come. ❞ ❝ i’ve always wanted to kill a god. you’ll have to do. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to give me something in return, it was a gift! ❞ ❝ you know i’d take you if i could. ❞ ❝ you shut your mouth right now, with that. ❞ ❝ it’s never been an easy time for me. ❞ ❝ why do you think i keep on showing up? ❞ ❝ who might you be, wandering all the way out here? you’re trespassing on private property, you know. ❞ ❝ i’d rather have you as a friiend than as a foe. ❞ ❝ really, you’re kicking me out? why? ❞ ❝ you’re funny, but you’ll break. they always do. ❞ ❝ you must think that i abandoned you. you think i had a choice?❞ ❝ you’re stuck with me forever. remember that. ❞ ❝ you know these heroes by their deeds, not by their character. ❞ ❝ some would question the destruction which you sow, but i shall never do so. i fully understand your impulses. ❞ ❝ you’re quite effective at locating me, but not so good at leaving me in peace. ❞ ❝ you don’t need me & i don’t need you. ❞ ❝ you lived through all that? ❞ ❝ my heart soars, knowing you live. then it breaks, that our time together was so brief. ❞ ❝ you’ve only me. and i have only you. ❞ ❝ sulk in your chambers all you like, for i care not. ❞ ❝ where did you go...? what did you do...? ❞ ❝ monster! you have no bearing, grace or courage! ❞ ❝ you’re beneath the notice of the gods. i have earned their favor. ❞ ❝ your youth provides you with a certain mindless strength. ❞ ❝ wait. i don’t think i owe you any favors, here. ❞ ❝ you appear to have grown stronger since when last we interacted. ❞ ❝ please...it was never my wish to hurt you. ❞ ❝ death is your only family. ❞ ❝ i too was born of darkness, but i chose the path of light. ❞ ❝ don’t know how come everybody doesn’t sing. lightens the mood, passes the time. what’s not to like? ❞ ❝ you come from the bowels of hell. this is not your place. ❞ ❝ heroes? mere mortals, same as all the rest. ❞ ❝ offend me, and i’ll drain the last traces of colour from your cheeks. ❞ ❝ punishment is not the path to rehabilitation. ❞ ❝ you’re nothing like your father. i mean that as a compliment. ❞ ❝ i just hope that their intentions are as pure as they appear. ❞ ❝ don’t be sad, pretty much everybody dies sometime. ❞ ❝ i’ve done some things that maybe aren’t great. ❞ ❝ actions beat intentions. ❞ ❝ look! i’m grinning ear to ear! ❞ ❝ my fits of anger come and go just like the tides. ❞ ❝ you know, i’d rather have my eyes put out, but thanks for offering! ❞    ❝ you will need to face your fears someday. ❞ ❝ true wisdom only comes with age. ❞ ❝ something has stirred within your heart. i can always tell. ❞ ❝ or...wait...what is this, did you just ask me out? ❞ ❝ i’m getting awful sick of seeing your smug face, time, after time, after time. ❞ ❝ your humility is matched only by your perseverance in the face of adversity. ❞ ❝ your stubborness shall only bring you pain. ❞ ❝ sometimes, our hearts become so full that they could burst. if only you could see how much i care. ❞ ❝ let’s see if you’re as skillful as you think. ❞ ❝ wait, you’re not serious. that famous sense of humor shining through. ❞ ❝ i’m surrounded by my family, but i always feel alone. ❞ ❝ i shall make myself quite clear in one respect: i fear i have a lack of patience for discussion. ❞ ❝ thought i might find you all the way out here. although, quite frankly, i’m surprised you’re still alive. ❞ ❝ absolute silence is my general preference. it may not be yours. ❞ ❝ i just like to see you menacingly smile. ❞ ❝ don’t tell anyone about this, understand? ❞ ❝ i told you i don’t need your help. ❞ ❝ you’re much too modest for someone with such a number of heroic deeds to their name. ❞ ❝ if anybody asks, we’re even. ❞ ❝ we had a lovely time getting to know each other. we laughed, we cried! ❞ ❝ what’s the matter, you gone soft or something? ❞ ❝ be sure to add those to the list of words you’ll eat someday. ❞ ❝ you know i’d do just about anything to aid you. ❞ ❝ you again. i told you to stay clear of me. ❞ ❝ in spite of all your efforts, it is probably the case that you still have a long and painful road ahead. ❞ ❝ you’ve always cared for me. i can’t ever repay you for that. ❞ ❝ i just thought i’d say, that was well fought back there. ❞ ❝ hush, it’s the god of trash, come once again to filthy up this place. ❞ ❝ changed your mind yet, or looking for more pain and suffering? ❞ ❝ maybe get some sleep or something? you look pretty beat. ❞ ❝ look, i’ve got a reputation to uphold. ❞ ❝ your father’s quite the big shot around here, but that means nothing to me, understand? ❞ ❝ you don’t have what it takes. nobody does. ❞ ❝ there’s no returning to the way things used to be. ❞ ❝ can i offer you some words of advice? get over yourself. ❞ ❝ fear is for the weak. ❞ ❝ you now what i like about you? the way you bleed. ❞ ❝ may all the death you bring become the stuff of legends told in fearful mortal whisperings around the world. ❞ ❝ i just happen to think you deserve better than you’ve got. ❞ ❝ no love without pain. ❞ ❝ failure is the greatest instructor of all. ❞ ❝ i think you feel like you have some sort of fearsome reputation to uphold. ❞ ❝ you know what? i think we’re finished here. ❞ ❝ i know you’re not in a good spot right now. ❞ ❝ what you’re attempting is impossible. ❞ ❝ i’m not your practice partner, fool. ❞ ❝ i know you don’t mean any harm, but it just isn’t something i discuss with anyone, ok? ❞ ❝ first you defy me openly, and now you lie. ❞ ❝ admit it. you can’t stop thinking about me. ❞ ❝ i’d like to be alone again, so you go on ahead. ❞ ❝ maybe this might numb the pain a bit. ❞ ❝ something’s troubled me a little, about you. ❞ ❝ your failure is quite easily imagined. how often it recurs! ❞ ❝ found this, thought of you and all that, so...here. ❞ ❝ how i love these unexpected little run-ins with you. ❞ ❝ what brings you back around this way again? ❞ ❝ now what’s the matter? it’s like you’ve been up feasting day and night, you’re barely standing, everything ok? ❞ ❝ first i found you, i was certain that you had no chance at all. ❞ ❝ if it wasn’t you proposing it, i’d like to call it madness. ❞ ❝ i'll sleep when i’m dead. ❞ ❝ thank you for not forgetting about me. ❞ ❝ you must see plainly, then, what your birthright amounts to: you’re no better off than any of us here. ❞ ❝ i’ll do my best. for both our sakes. ❞ ❝ the world is not all lies and deceit as you make it out to be. ❞ ❝ you fight so desperately. at first i thought you simply lacked in patience. but now i see it’s urgency that drives you. ❞ ❝ you don’t know who or what you’re dealing with. ❞ ❝ who are you to judge, you misbegotten, shameful, unfilial maggot? ❞ ❝ you’re getting real predictable, you know. ❞ ❝ no one can avoid taking sides forever. but you can take the more sensible side, at least. ❞ ❝ ahh, so you are taking pity on me, then? ❞ ❝ thank you for making me feel welcome in your pleasant home. can’t say the same for most places i’ve been lately. ❞   ❝ i would very much prefer to think we both know better than to let old grudges stew forever. ❞ ❝ nothing is ever perfect, right? no matter how hard you try. ❞ ❝ while i know what you meant, i don’t want you to say such things again. ❞ ❝ look at you, you’re hurt there pretty bad. ❞     ❝ i can’t be completely sure but, what you said just now i think contained some of the component pieces of a compliment? ❞ ❝ don’t fall for mortals. use them if you must, but do not waste your love on those who waste away. ❞ ❝ you’re stubborn. however, so am i. ❞ ❝ you think me cruel, yet know nothing of cruelty. ❞ ❝ you just stick with me, i’ve always time for you. ❞ ❝ you look a little down and so i was just wondering, would you perchance fancy a song right now? ❞ ❝ i get the feeling we’re starting off on the wrong foot. ❞ ❝ a harsh winter is coming for you. and i’m afraid you’ve brought it on yourself. ❞ ❝ i was unkind last time. forgive my indiscretions there...or don’t. but i wished to apologize. ❞ ❝ don’t suppose i can talk you into fighting back this time? ❞ ❝ go occupy yourself someplace else. ❞ ❝ don’t feel bad! it had to happen! but if it’s any consolation, it’ll probably happen again! ❞ ❝ you’re running from yourself. ❞ ❝ wine does have a rather special way of making everybody look even more beautiful than ever. ❞ ❝ i am not interested in having company, especially from you. ❞ ❝ my faith is prone to shakiness sometimes. ❞ ❝ you’re not your father, thank the gods. ❞ ❝ i’d ask you to join me for a drink, but i know you’ve a task ahead of you, and liquor dulls the senses. ❞ ❝ you’re more stubborn than your father. i never thought that such a thing was possible. ❞ ❝ remember, next time, that on my whim i can take everything from you. ❞ ❝ haven’t we had more than enough of each other by now? ❞ ❝ i get the feeling i’m being watched. ❞ ❝ you’ve berated me repeatedly and often. ❞ ❝ you ever lose somebody dear to you? ❞ ❝ as you grow long in years, perhaps you shall learn better judgement as to whom to trust, and whom to never, ever disrespect. ❞ ❝ sometimes things weigh heavily on me, but then i hear from you, and it’s like i don’t have a care in the world. ❞ ❝ stay focused on the hunt, and it’ll help keep the pain at bay. ❞ ❝ you are just so spontaneous, and i’ve a liking for that sort of thing! ❞ ❝ no one gets out of here, whether dead or alive. ❞ ❝ what is it that you’re after, really...? ❞ ❝ don’t take my silence the wrong way, all right? ❞ ❝ that’s terrible...wish there was something i could do to help. ❞ ❝ your unpredictability is one of your assets. ❞ ❝ do not throw away your life as i did mine. ❞ ❝ you do not take all your defeats to heart, do you? that’s good. ❞ ❝ the fates can twist intentions. i don’t want to take the risk. ❞ ❝ sometimes you make me feel alive again. ❞ ❝ why...i was much stronger once, than this... ❞ ❝ sometimes i wish i knew more about your past. ❞ ❝ you shall not goad me into anger with a petty insult such as that. ❞ ❝ we’ve been through a lot, and i think we’ll be going through a lot more yet. ❞ ❝ feelings we shared...they faded, with time. ❞ ❝ learn well to shut that foolish mouth of yours, or i shall shut it for you. ❞ ❝ i knew so many warriors who would throw away their lives for glory, believing that the gods were on their side; refusing to consider that their opponents felt the very same. ❞ ❝ you didn’t need to vent all that inner turmoil onto me throughout my life. ❞ ❝ swear to me that you shall never repeat what you are about to hear. swear it! ❞ ❝ sometimes i wonder what’s going through your head. ❞ ❝ i can do this. i can do this. i can do this. ❞ ❝ i heard you got yourself into another mess that needed cleaning up. ❞ ❝ you have a good heart. keep listening to it. ❞ ❝ you picked sides, and things are not the same. ❞ ❝ all the terrible choices i’ve made. by the time you have existed for as long as i have, pray youo will have made fewer. ❞ ❝ i must admit i have grown fond of you. ❞ ❝ please open your mind to the fact that there are those who care about your wellbeing. ❞ ❝ i know you mean well. from the bottom of my heart, i thank you truly for the thought. ❞ ❝ how can somebody be so brash yet hate to take unnecessary risks? ❞ ❝ i know we can’t exactly change the past, but we can try to move forward. ❞ ❝ you didn’t answer my question. though, you know something? forget i asked. ❞ ❝ just checking in on you, but i’ll be on my way again shortly. ❞ ❝ you would speak to me of foolish mistakes? ❞ ❝ do not question my power. ❞ ❝ there is no point in doing it but pride. and pride is dangerous. ❞ ❝ i must admit, your strength of will is quite inspiring. ❞ ❝ i don’t hate you. i don’t think i can ever hate you. ❞ ❝ i've decided not to kill you. no sport in cornered prey. ❞ ❝ i never thought i’d hear you talking about looking forward to working. you feeling alright? ❞ ❝ it has been far too long. although, the passing of the time was very kind. ❞ ❝ i have been thinking on this for some time, and i’ve a declaration i must make: i shall hear no more of your silver-tongued lies. ❞ ❝ oh good, somebody’s here to save me from myself. ❞ ❝ i wonder how much more insulting you could be. ❞ ❝ may i have this dance for old time’s sake? ❞ ❝ no matter how far you run, it doesn’t make your problems go away. ❞ ❝ i ever tell you you’re a real sweetheart? because, if not, i’m telling you right now. ❞ ❝ oh don’t worry, i’ll be back in fighting shape in no time. ❞ ❝ it’s not that i’m upset or anything. you know i’m not, but truthfully i’m a bit annoyed. ❞ ❝ you’ve got quite the fighting spirit in there, i have to say. ❞ ❝ ...answer me something. what am i to you, exactly, as of late? ❞ ❝ if you’ve not anger enough for it yet, you’ll learn, i promise you. ❞ ❝ i shall bring desolation upon those who wrong you. ❞ ❝ you know nothing of tempers if mine is your frame of reference. ❞ ❝ let me save you lots of future suffering: i happen to be the jealous type. ❞ ❝ i was really hoping we could change the subject. please? ❞ ❝ finally you cleared the mess you caused. ❞ ❝ i never grew accustomed to the air, up here. it gusts senselessly whichever way it pleases. ❞ ❝ i need your help with something. as i’m about to risk it all. ❞ ❝ love tends to blossom in the strangest places at the strangest times. ❞ ❝ normally they grovel, then they scream. they shut up eventually, but not you. at least, not yet. ❞ ❝ you know, you ain’t near as bad as i’d heard! ❞ ❝ so now you know. but, only half the truth. ❞ ❝ you are and always will be an insufferable brat. ❞ ❝ they say both gods and mortals are notoriously poor at estimating how long it takes to get anything done. ❞ ❝ flattery never got me anywhere with you to begin with. doesn’t mean i won’t keep trying. ❞ ❝ i’m warning you, i’m not susceptible to bribes. many have tried. ❞ ❝ by my estimation, you have slain at least a thousand souls. ❞ ❝ everyone’s saying i went easy on you. ❞ ❝ no, on quite the contrary i’ve been under no impression that avoiding conflict is an option here. ❞ ❝ you really won’t tell me anything about you? you’re just going to leave me to speculate, forever? ❞ ❝ fears, i think, are born of ignorance. ❞ ❝ i don’t exactly know the ways of mortals. ❞ ❝ it’s not just you swept up in all this nonsense now. you didn’t ask for me to get involved but what did you expect? ❞ ❝ if only i had wisdom such as yours, so that i was more capable of picking up on subtle jabs and insults such as that. ❞ ❝ did i detect some hesitance on your part just then? perhaps you knew that you were making a mistake. ❞ ❝ i need you in my life! how can you just...turn me away like this? ❞ ❝ no. no mournful speeches. now get out of my way. ❞ ❝ you needn’t lavish me with your faint praise. ❞ ❝ our memories are warnings. when you have lived as long as i have, you come to understand your weaknesses. ❞ ❝ you speak none of this, to anyone! ❞ ❝ it seems to me your strength outweighs your smarts ❞ ❝ you’re really too much for me sometimes, you know that? ❞ ❝ you speak as one who’s not experienced war. ❞      ❝ you’re looking kind of down. normally you’re all smiles, for whatever reason. ❞ ❝ your heart shall never carry you astray. ❞ ❝ it almost sounds as though you’ve broken up with me. ❞ ❝ come now, i don’t think that’s anything to be concerned about. ❞ ❝ where did you steal that kingly blade you’re brandishing about? it seems ill-fitting for one such as you. ❞ ❝ you overstep your bounds with me. but i shall make you fall right back in line. ❞ ❝ if there’s one thing i’ve learned since we met, it’s that the trust we share is at the very foundation of our relationships. ❞ ❝ it is woefully infrequent that i’ve cause for this, but i do have to thank you. ❞ ❝ so you’re realizing now that your entire image of me came from your imagination, is that it? ❞ ❝ sorry, my lips are sealed. how about we change the subject? ❞ ❝ you mistook me for someone who blindly follows orders without considering the implications. ❞ ❝ you, in a healthy relationship? why yes, that i have to see. ❞ ❝ you won’t tell me anything about you? you’re just going to leave me to speculate, forever? ❞ ❝ oh, would you look at whom i found, all by their lonely self. ❞ ❝ sometimes our tempers get the best of all of us. you’re fortunate mine didn’t get the best of you back there. ❞ ❝ you really need to learn to stop meddling in others’ affairs. ❞ ❝ was just thinking about you. ❞ ❝ the mortal concept of what constitutes as a hero is absurd. ❞ ❝ i may not be the one to kill you. but i’ll soften you up for whoever does. ❞ ❝ i have been waiting for a special moment to confess my great appreciation for your deeds. this moment’s special enough, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ all mortal life is fragile; it simply is a struggle to survive. ❞ ❝ it wasn’t any of my business to pry into your personal life. i should have asked. ❞ ❝ what do you say we deal some death together? ❞ ❝ the more you step away from your responsibilites, the less you shall want anything to do with them. ❞ ❝ what we were once, i wonder if it’s but a falsely ringing memory of mine... ❞ ❝ in all your boundless intellect, i’d have expected you would know i see through your intentions, plan as day. ❞ ❝ ii shall not lie to you again. that much, i swear. ❞ ❝ oh, i don’t have the heart to keep exacting vengeance on you. ❞ ❝ privileges are earned, not begged for. ❞ ❝ i thought we had an understanding. but, this wouldn’t be the first time i was wrong about someone. ❞ ❝ i have every confidence you’ll someday clamber from the shadows into the light. ❞ ❝ no paradise awaits you. ❞ ❝ did you miss me? i thought i’d steal away a bit and that together we might make up for lost time. ❞ ❝ when blood is spilled and death is dealt, i simply cannot remain discontented for too long. ❞ ❝ unlike my present company, i do not ask too many questions. ❞ ❝ what’s life without a little pain. ❞ ❝ i would do anything that you would ask of me. ❞ ❝ such a waste, all for your foolish pride, that you should care more to be remembered by those you shall never know than to be loved... ❞ ❝ look, if you don’t feel the same way about me at this point, i would rather know. ❞ ❝ you chose to die in glory, not to live in peace...and all for what? ❞ ❝ what’s the matter there? gone awful quiet. did i hurt your feelings? ❞ ❝ please, if not for your sake, then for mine...do not return. ❞ ❝ you blame your ancestors for your own weakness? ❞ ❝ i still grow frustrated with myself quite often and don’t always know whom to turn to. ❞ ❝ i’ll just remain here, comfortably at rest, for some untold millenia. ❞ ❝ the world has a limitless capacity for pain. ❞ ❝ well, if you do require some emotional support, know that i likely shall be standing over here. ❞ ❝ you’re not fooling anybody with your feigned benevolence, you know. ❞ ❝ i'm just an old killer, yet you treat me like i’m the one who’s royalty around here. ❞ ❝ life and death are inextricable, and war is often what connects the two. ❞ ❝ someday or night you shall look back on this, and thank me. ❞ ❝ i can no longer tolerate my life here in this place. ❞ ❝ they said you were headed this way. i said i’d stop you. ❞ ❝ if you were being too pushy, you better believe i would have put you back in your place, royalty or not. ❞ ❝ i am leaving, even if it kills me. ❞ ❝ hey, can’t ever be too careful when it comes to people’s past and feelings and stuff, right? ❞ ❝ should you ever go to war...do look me up. i imagine i would take your side. ❞ ❝ have you given any thought to just...leaving me alone, and going back to wherever it is you came from? ❞ ❝ and here i was beginning to think we had something special going. ❞ ❝ i’m worried you’re going to burn yourself out if you keep pushing yourself past your limits. ❞ ❝ whoever it was you used to be, i believe you’ve changed. ❞ ❝ i’m no mere mortal. ❞ ❝ i suppose this must be what it’s like to be a god. being shown affection such as this. ❞ ❝ admittedly i was quite good at it, but i was nothing other than a killer. ❞ ❝ no need to get emotional, is there? i’m not the sentimental type. ❞ ❝ all that pent-up rage behind your smiling words... ❞ ❝ don’t ever fall for mortals. use them if you must, but do not waste your love on those who waste away. ❞ ❝ i was never terribly fearful of gods. they seem to have their struggles much like mortals do. ❞ ❝ i would ask you to think of your well-being for the time, not mine. ❞ ❝ must say you’re very good at hiding your worries. ❞  ❝ anger fades. anger burns hot, then burns out. what’s left is a dull ache. ❞ ❝ you have much to be proud of. you’re a great warrior. a great instructor. a great friend. ❞ ❝ you must know the seven types of love by now, don’t you? why, i have several types of love for you! ❞ ❝ sometimes i fear i shall develop some sort of grudging respect for you. ❞   ❝ as you grow long in years, you gain more burdens and responsibilities, until they bind you. ❞ ❝ you’re being very nice to me, and that makes me suspicious, understand? ❞ ❝ you like me? i never thought, i...don’t know why that sounds so strange, coming from you. ❞ ❝ just know that...if you feel the way i do...you know where to find me. ❞ ❝ i still have feelings for you, i think. ❞ ❝ you’re a god. i’m telling you to learn to act like one. ❞ ❝ we were invincible together, weren’t we? though, i have never missed those days... ❞ ❝ i like being on my own and all, but it’s been nice, talking to you like this. ❞ ❝ you’ve done more for me than i’ve any right to expect, from anyone. ❞ ❝ the heart can make us do the strangest things, can’t it? ❞ ❝ i would never have been remotely prepared for everything i’ve had to face, if not for all your guidance. and i don’t just mean the violent stuff. ❞ ❝ you’re not so bad, you know that? careful with that, or you’ll undermine the ruthless reputation you have. ❞ ❝ well, for all his failings, i’m thankful that he did not teach you how to hate. ❞ ❝ i don’t know that i hate anybody, really. ❞ ❝ why am i never proud of you? don’t take it personally. i’m never proud of anything. ❞ ❝ there are a myriad of tales to be told, of both great deeds and of vainglorious defeats, and this has been a tale that falls somewhere in the middle. ❞ ❝ why your path keeps on crossing mine, i’ve not the slightest clue. ❞ ❝ there is no replacing your presence. i felt that before we ever met, and now i know for sure. ❞ ❝ mortals are so bent on clinging to their lives, that many among them would gladly kill for it. ❞ ❝ listen to me. i don’t know how else to put this, but, i want you to come home. ❞ ❝ i think we understand something of loss, now, don’t we? ❞ ❝ hey, look, i can tell you’re struggling right now... ❞ ❝ you must know i often hunger for destruction, almost uncontrollably at that. ❞ ❝ you still have no idea how to be up front with me, do you. why don’t you tell me why you’re here, and what you want. ❞ ❝ the destruction you have sown, the sheer carnage...nothing can surpass that. ❞ ❝ i do not think i ever would have asked for help, at any point, because...i don’t entirely know how. ❞ ❝ but hope alone is worthless without action, is it not? ❞ ❝ as bloodshed has become somewhat of a necessity in my situation, i am very grateful that you’re with me in this. ❞ ❝ many mortals strive for greatness all their lives, never quite realizing there is no existing formula for it. not even a specific definition for it. ❞     ❝ there are aspects of my country that i miss, from time to time. the stark, bright beauty of that strange, wondrous land. ❞     ❝ pride is perhaps our family’s worst trait. ❞ ❝ i think for many of us, it can come as a surprise to learn that love and war often go hand in hand. ❞ ❝ you don’t have what it takes. ❞ ❝ had a feeling i would find you all alone out here. ❞ ❝ quit messing with my heart. ❞ ❝ swear something to me. that you’ll discard your fears about our bond. ❞ ❝ each time we fight...i think i learn a little more. ❞ ❝ you’re nothing to me anymore. ❞ ❝ say, you must know a lot of big shots, don’t you? other gods and all that? ❞ ❝ i trust, from time to time, you stop to ask yourself how come you choose to fight. ❞ ❝ you cannot change the course that has been set. try all you like. ❞      ❝ we don’t all share the same demeanor, nor see eye to eye. though all of us, i think, wish you the best. ❞ ❝ i’ve known great men throughout my life, and i can always tell when someone’s better than their circumstances. ❞ ❝ i am quite capable of making your life plenty difficult. ❞ ❝ i bet whoever it is that loves you...it’s because of who you are. ❞ ❝ i lay the blame entirely upon you, yes. who else? ❞ ❝ i think, deep down, you are not the heartless harbinger of retribution that you want everyone to think you are. ❞     ❝ in my domain, you either find your place, or you learn your place. ❞ ❝ you have no idea how good you’ve had it here. maybe someday you’ll come to understand. ❞ ❝ do not mess with me right now. ❞
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