#in case you're wondering yes I KNOW THIS SUCKS IT'S AWFUL

[arseholism]

[ Wow, you're seriously going to attempt reading about me?? Alright then, before we begin this long and tiresome charade, let's go over the basic information you NEED to know and understand.. ] [ NO! i do not want to subscribe to your OF] [ I don't "want" you. I don't "need" you. I don't want to "come see you". ] [ Please for the love of whatever you love most, do not bother telling me this post offended you]

[ Aw you look beautiful when you’re smiling! Love those shoes too ;) ]

[ Alright, get comfortable my darling ] [ I love people, i just don't find many interesting. So technically, the law of averages works against you.] [ You might be awesome.. please, feel welcome to change my mind ] [ Okay, Lets go. ] [ My name is Arias ]

[ You pronounced that wrong! ] [ I like coffee ] [ I like people. I wouldn't be able to live without people.] [ I love talking ] [ You don't know me ] [ You probably wouldn't understand me even if you did ] [ I'm From London ] [ I also live in Los Angeles, Sydney and New york ] [ Because i can ] [ I travel a lot ] [ I'm 6'3 ] [ I like short girls ] [ Not midgets. Short girls ] [ My dad's white, my mum's spanish .. Incase you wondered ]

[ I love American accents! They’re so fucking cute!! ]

[ I'm English ] [ Yes i have an accent, it's london with a hint of sydney] [ I like it.. ] [ No you probably will never hear it ] [ I've played Piano, Guitar and Violin since i was 4 ] [ I write lyrics and music when i'm bored ] [ No i will not write you a song ] [ Yes i can sing ] [ No i will not sing for you ] [ I love to cook ]

[ No i will not cook for you ] [ I'm blunt so i can be an arsehole ] [ I'm quite nice in general ] [ I'm passive, i really don't give a fuck ] [ Unless i care.. then I absolutely give a fuck ] [ I won't suck up just so you like me ] [ I do what I want ] [ I do not like cameras, in case you’re wondering why my page isn’t littered with selfies ] [ No i will not be your trick monkey ] [ or your human puppet ] [ enough. ] [ Make me smile, make me laugh, i'll get addicted to you ] [ I'm a cuddle whore ] [ I'm attracted to pretty faces and beautiful smiles ] [ I'm a dreamer ] [ I love to plan dreamy dates and sensational moments] [ I have sleep issues. I like my issues ] [ I love to read ] [ I think you're spiffy because you're still reading this ] [ I'm bored right now, so i may NEVER stop. ] [ I LOVE to cook. I even bake my own bread haha ] [ If you tak lyke dis, dun fuhkin tak 2 me mkay? ] [ Right. got that off my chest ] [ I swim, i run, i eat unhealthy, my body is so confused, but it's pretty to look at? ] [ I love music, i have way too much music for one guy ] [ I love kids, i have 3 god children and they rock my world ] [ I'm opinionated and judgemental, however, i will listen to your opinion and i will listen to your side of the story] [ I'm hopelessly romantic ] [ I'm very very very picky ] [ No. I'm not looking for anything or anyone ] [ Romance.. is so misunderstood ] [ I'm broken ] [ No. You can't fix me ] [ Wow. I didn't stop. You didn't stop. We're still here and we're meant to be *gushes* haha ] [ I'll probably adopt. ] [ I'm always bored ] [ I like conversation ] [ I love to read ] [ I don't like pictures, i figure that if there is something beautiful enough, it'll burn into my memory ] [ I however, do not want you to hit on me ] [ I can be very perverted ] [ No, this does not imply i want to talk dirty ] [ Or.. that i want you to talk dirty ] [ Please try not to be too creepy.. PRETTY PLEASE? ] [ I'm also very moralistic ] [ I love my imagnation ] [ I have a major oral fetish ] [ Do we have things in common? ] [ No, You could probably never be my dream girl ] [ I have never had a one night stand ] [ Yes, i'm very picky and fucking frustrating ] [ Are you Captain Entertainment? Sent to rescue me from the trescherous depths of boredom? ] [ Didn't think so.. ] [ I love cookies, they make me happy ] [ I love cold miserable rainy weather ] [ I'm cheeky ] [ I'm complicated ]

[ I'm curious ]

[ Did the brackets annoy you? ]

[ Stupid word count ]

[ Go on.. Judge me! ]

[ Message me if you still want more ]

[qqueenofhades]

I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable answering this, but my mind is spiraling out of control and you’re the only person I know with the level of knowledge to where I can feel comfortable asking this without getting some form of “bla bla we live in a safe state don’t worry.”

I’m sincerely wondering if I need to be making plans to leave the country in the event of November bringing the most horrible of outcomes despite our best efforts (and yes I’m planning to vote blue in everything I can); as a AFAB in CA?

I know about project 2025. I’m terrified. Forgive my pop culture reference, but I feel like a version of Princess Zelda staring down a barrel of possible doom while everyone around me is like “nah that future you literally had a nightmare about where they made it illegal for a woman to have a bank account without a guy co-signing it and took the money from everyone who didn’t comply by a certain date isn’t even a possibility!”

I’m just confused about my life and am trying to take it day by day, and exercising every right while I still have it to prevent this outcome, but it feels weird making plans and retirement accounts and just general Setting Up Adult Life And Future Things™️……while wondering if I even have a future in this place at all and I’m just making it harder to escape if need be.

I’m sorry I’m rambling, and I guess I don’t know what I’m asking since no one has a crystal ball.

But I guess, it’s stuff like how much can the feds effect state’s policies? Is it possible for them to immediately block international travel for all women practically upon inauguration? How much time would I even have to gtfo if the worst begins?

Bc honestly this whole thing feels like the lead in to a very nasty chapter of a history book, and even though I have hope we’ll have another blue tsunami, it can be hard to try and figure things out when it feels like there’s barely any historical precedent for any of it.

Welp. Okay. First of all, I am giving you a comforting hug, I am walking with you to your favorite coffee shop, I am paying for your favorite beverage and also a baked goodie of your choice, and we are sitting down in a corner where we can talk honestly. So that's where I want you to imagine us having this conversation.

To start with, yes, I completely understand this feeling of utter, paralyzing doom, where I am trying to go about my daily life and make plans for my career and carry out daily tasks and Be Responsible while there's still just this total void beyond the end of the year, the utter impossibility of knowing if we will have dodged an absolutely massive bullet and finally be safe (since if Trump loses again he is 100% going to jail in the next four years) or, well. You know. That is a very hard way to live, when you're wondering if anything is going to matter and you can't see beyond that black cloud of fear on the horizon. It sucks you down and tells you that nothing is worth doing now in case it just gets so much worse. I am not going to tell you not to feel that. We all do. We are all scared. That in and of itself is a perfectly normal way to feel.

However, there are things you can do both now and if (I repeat, if) God absolutely forbid, the worst was to happen (again). First of all, we have already lived through a Trump presidency once. It was terrible and scary and awful and demoralizing as fuck, but we can do it again if we absolutely Goddamn fucking have to (once, again, God forbid). Second, you are currently about as safe as you could be in California. Newsom has proven himself to be smart, tough, able to run rings around Republicans, and unwilling to comply with their stupid performative-cruelty directives. He's not a saint or a magician, but you don't need that; you need a shrewd politician able to fight back, and he has proven himself willing and capable of doing that. So as long as he is governor, you're going to be more safe than not, and I'd also like to ask all the shrieking Online Leftists if, should the shit go down, they would rather live in a state with a Democratic governor who will fight Trump 2.0 every step of the way, or a Republican governor who will just roll over and obey. (But that would destroy their BOTH PARTIES ARE THE SAME talking point, so you know.)

Next of all, even if the Republicans are doing their best impression, America in 2024 isn't Germany in 1934. There are different tools, different ways to fight back, and different awarenesses/social media/visibility factors. I also need everyone to remember that just as Biden can't just sign an executive order and fix everything everywhere, Trump can't just sign an executive order and fuck everything everywhere, just like that with no more discussion ever. He tried that last time, it generally didn't work, and trust me, at least this time nobody is sleeping on the danger he poses. His candidacy in 2016 was dismissed as a long-shot joke that nobody took seriously until it was too late, and for better or worse, people aren't doing that this time. He will be sued instantly, incredibly, and repeatedly with everything his band of wannabe fascists try, and since we have had four years of Biden fixing the courts from where Trump trashed them, that does mean something. There is no scenario where even if he does issue some outrageous order against women, LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, etc (which to be clear, I'm sure he would try) it would just be carried out completely, immediately, and with no feasible way to stop it. Evil is evil, but it is also stupid, clueless, determined to hurt people just for the hell of it without any regard for what is possible or which will be allowed, and there's a lot more grey area in there than just "Trump says something terrible and it's instantly done, the end."

Once again, I'm not going to say that the worst-case scenario is not possible, but I don't think it's likely, and even if that does happen, there are ways for us to survive and fight back (again). Nobody wants it and it should not have to be asked of us due to the utter collapse of the social, civic, political, and intellectual fabric of this country thanks to the TrumpCult, but once again... these people are so loud and dangerous and cruel and stupid because they are in the minority. Etc. etc. polls are garbage, but we did just have an interesting piece of empirical data from the Iowa caucuses. Trump -- in one of the whitest, most rural, most conservative, most religious, most Trump-loving states in the country -- struggled to break 50%. Almost half of a rabid Republican fully-Trumpized electorate, among the diehards sufficiently motivated to get out and caucus in extreme freezing weather, voted for someone else (Haley and DeSantis took about 20% apiece). Now, no, we don't know how that will translate to the general election, and if registered Republicans will flock back to the nominee even if it's Trump, but as almost half of Haley voters said they would vote for Biden if it was a Biden-Trump matchup in the general, there is some sense that Trump is an aberration to their otherwise ironclad party loyalty. Now, Republicans are the fucking worst and nobody should be relying on them to save us; we still need to get out and vote for Democrats with all our might. But Trump is no longer barn-burningly popular even in core Trump heartland, and it'll be interesting to see how things go in future primaries.

My point is: I know the feeling that evil is awful and unstoppable and all-powerful, and will crush our lives and our futures no matter what we do to resist it. I really, really do. But Trump is a terrible candidate, he's running literally only to keep himself out of a long, long prison sentence, and if he had crushed the Iowa caucuses regardless, we might be having a different conversation. However, we need to remember that it is possible, again (God forbid) in the worst scenario, to resist, to live, and to win. Everyone who is motivated to work for a better world will still be here. Everyone who can help you and all of us will still be here. And there are more of us than there are of them. Yes, I do understand the feeling that we need to have contingency plans in place, I do absolutely know that it could get very bad, and all that (as you say, nobody has a crystal ball). But for now, I want you to take a deep breath, try to take this day by day, and remember that this is not a crushing and inevitable future that will sweep over you and destroy you without you (or any other person of good will) having a say in the matter. You still have agency, you still have the ability to protect yourself, and you still have others who will protect you in turn. You're not alone. The bad guys want you to think that, because when you're isolated and terrorized, you're easier to pick off and/or recruit into their cult. But you're not.

In conclusion: "What are we holding onto, Sam?"

[venusloveshim]

This is my first time writing so sorry it's bad

Warnings:18+,sub!Abby,dom!reader,

Owen(he's a warning of his own),a bit of dry humping,mommy kink,oral,overstimulation, squirting,strap on,face sitting, praiseing

F!Reader,usage of both you and Y/N(only when Owen is talking tho)

It was a rather nice day,you and Abby were just chilling and talking in the comman room of base,when Owen walks over and joins in on the conversation,you usually wouldn't mind that but everytime Owen joins the conversation and Abby's there, he's always trying to flirt with her,touch her in a more perverted way.Tho the touchs stopped after Abby gave him a black eye after he grabbed her ass

"Looking pretty Abs" said Owen with a wink,you roll your eyes as you move and stand behind Abby,you wrap you arms around her waist and rest your head in her shoulder,she instinctively rests her hands on your arms "thanks" was all Abby said before leaning back slightly into you

"I was wondering, would you like to come to my room later tonight,Abby? I need..some help" it was clear what Owens was referring,he wanted to have sex with Abby,make her his. Your arms tighten slightly around Abby as you start lightly kissing the back of her neck "sorry Owen, I'm kinda busy" sha said

A loud sigh left Owens mouth "why can't you just take the hint that I like you,i want you Abby,I want you to be mine" he was getting annoyed,it was clear "Owen...I'm taken" Abby says before a chuckle escapes her lips.You smirk against her neck as you look at Owen with a proud smile and he finally got the hint

"Oh,um, I'll leave" he said before walking away before neither of you two could say anything "Well,at least now he knows" you say with smirk before you continue to kiss her neck lightly "yeah" Abby says before she leans even more into you

Later that night,Owen can be heard complaing to someone about what happened.You and Abby were cuddling on your bed,Abby's head resting on your shoulder,legs thrown over your lap,your arm around the back of her waist while the is gently rubbing her calf. "Hey love" Abbys speak and looks up at you "yes dear?" You speak softly as you look down at her,she suddenly gets up and straddles your lap, lightly humping your thigh "aw,you want mommy to fuck that pretty pussy huh?too shy to ask so you decide to hump my thigh instead,how adorable" you speak as you place your hands on her hips,helping her grind against your thigh,small whimpers escape her lips as she nods.

"Words baby" you speak as you start moving her hips faster against your thigh "y-yes mommy, please f-fuck me" she whispered out "since you asked so nicely" you smirk "strip and lay on the bed" you say,she's quick to get off your lap and start undressing.You get up yourself,you walk over to the closet and pull out a box,you take out the strap and lube from the box.

When you turn around,Abby's already laying down on the bed,legs spread wide,her pretty pussy on display for you,she was already soking wet but you grabbed to lube just in case.

You place the strap on the bed before you hook your hands around her thighs and pull her down so her legs are handing off the edge of the bed,you spread her thighs before you press kisses to her inner thighs before you like a strip from her hole to her clit.Abby's whimpering,her hands tangle into your hair pushing you closer to her.

"You're so wer Baby" you mutter against her pussy as you start eating her out like a starving woman.Abby's moans get louder, in-between her moans and whimpers is mixed in 'mommy' and 'Y/N'.You start sucking on her clit,makeing her throw her head back "i-i'm g-gonna.." she was

in-between whimpers and moans. "Cum for me baby,cum in mommys mouth" you speak as you continue to suck on her clit.

You always forget how sensitive Abby really is,both her chest and pussy. A loud pornographic moan rips from Abbys throat as she comes,filling your mouth up.You swallow her cum before you start cleaning her up.Abbys hand are still tangled in your hair,her hips slightly jolting as you clean her up.

Your face is covered is spit and her cum,you lean over and kiss her,so she can taste herself,she moans into the kiss.After you two pull away,you start trailing kisses down her body.Her hands are all over your body, lightly caressing it as you kiss her body.

You slid of the bed making Abby wjiper at the lost of your lips. "I'll be there in a second baby,just need put on my strap" you speak as you tighten the straps of the harness so It doesn't slid of your hips.You grab the pub and pour a good amount on your hand "we don't need lube" Abby muttered out quitely,she's pretty wet so she lube really wasn't necessary but still,just in case "I know sweetheart but I don't want to hurt you" you speak as you aline yourself with her hole.

"You ready?" You ask softly.Abby nods in response so you slowly push In.Abby's whining and whimpering as you push the starp in.As soon as the hols strap is in,you start thrusing in and out.Loud moans rip from Abby's throat as you fuck her,her moans can probably be heard in the other room,good,you smirk.You lower your mouth and you start sucking on her nipple while the you play with the other "I'm g-gonna...gonna" Abby babbles "already?" You smirk against her chest as you quicken your pace.

Abby's eyes roll back into her head as she cums,you don't stop tho,you continue to fuck her roughly.She tries to buck her hips away "t-too m-much mommy,t-too muc-h" she speak as tears form in her eyes "you can take it baby" you speak softly as you bite into her neck, lightly sucking,leaving a hickey

Abby's moaning loudly as her eyes roll back into her head and she squirts everywhere,on the sheets,you and the strap.You pull out and you rub her pretty pussy as she squirts "you're squiring so much,dear,good girl" you speak.

After a bit,her hips start bucking away from your hand so you stop rubbing her pussy,you lean down and gently kiss her forehead before you grab a towel and you start cleaning her up while you praise her and leave kisses down her body "what about you? You didn't cum" Abby speak softly with a pout "I'll be alrigh baby" you speak softly as you kiss her forehead "please,can you sit on my face? I wanna make you come" Abby mumbled ''do you have to energy to eat mommy out?" You ask as you gently caress her cheek,she nodded eagerly "alright" you speak as you take of your harness and throw it aside.

You straddle her face before she pulls you down by your thighs,she immediately starts eating you out like a starving woman, you can't help but moan at how good it feels "so good baby,making mommy feel so good" you speak as I tangle your hands Into her hair.She continues to eat you out untill you come in bed mouth.You lift yourself and chuckle at her fucked out expression,cum and spit all over her chin and lips.

You grab the towle again as you gently clean her face and pepper kisses all over her face "want me to run you a bath or do you want to cuddle?" You ask softly as I gently kiss her forehead "and do you want water or anything?" Abby reachs out her hands "just cuddles" she says with a soft smile.Yoh smile and lay down next to her before you pull her closer to you,your arms around her,her head tucked under your chin as she wraps her arms around you as well.You undo her braid and play with her hair softly and that makes her fall asleep,cuddled up in your arms,feeling safe and comfortable

Lets just say,Owen stopped bothering Abby

[nozunhinged]

7 BL Newbie Moments of 2023 That Altered My Brain Chemistry

So I went through all my posts since the beginning of this journey and as much as I love dumping my insanity here without context or any punctuation, I feel that a lot of my fav moments deserve a bit more love and structure.

But first I need to put a bit of context so you won't be like "who the hell do they think they are" (aside from delusional I'm nothing, I promise) and my anxious overexplainer-heart is silenced.

My first BL TV show was Only Friends and only 5 months later I'm already throat deep into it (sorry). My watchlist is so endless that I sometimes (no, regularly) genuinely fear for my sanity. I'm still learning all the names and production houses but does that stop me from starting 10 other shows? NOPE.

I'm not new to queer fan spaces (avid manga reader since the yaoi days, my first ship was taito from digimon) but I am most definitely new to the brainrot levels these shows gave me.

And believe it or not, even though my shipper heart is over a decade old, I'm new to Tumblr and the fuel this platform added to the fire could burn down entire continents.

ANYWAYS if you're still here — please enjoy Noz's 100% self-indulgent moments!

1. The End And The Beginning - Only Friends

All I did was mindlessly scroll through the tumblr trends, no idea about how this website works, still sour and sad about the loss of my twitter bubble thanks to the elopocalypse—little did I know that fate would lead me to the wonderful world of BL shows! It was like this moment in isekai-esque movies where you get sucked into a world and you go WOOAAH once you arrive.

There was this show—on YouTube—100% unapolagetic about sex, relationships and queerness. Five minutes into the first episode, someone asks if they can bring their boyfriend to a hookup. This was ALL of my wildest dreams come true! Oh boy, was I naive.

I feel like Only Friends had me speedrun the whole BL industry. Branded pairs, production houses, fanservice, obsessive fans & haters, audience reactions influencing the storyline, EVERYTHING happened during Only Friends and I was just like "what the hell is going on here?" It was like the perfect case study for literally everything. Honestly I still don't really understand what's going on.

Unfortunately, this also led to the awful ending I erased from my brain and don't want to get into, I'm just gonna say Boston I will never forgive the writers for what they did to you. I dropped that show like a hot potato, filtered all possible tags and moved on — or so I thought.

I feel like I'm trying to recreate that first excitement when I discovered OF. But 20 shows later, I'm still not there. Does this make me sound like an addict? Yes, and this is why Only Friends EP 1 is my No. 1 moment that altered my brain chemistry.

2. The Boeing Incident - Only Friends

I talked about it just yesterday and I need to do it again because Boeing was the beginning of a thing that thought I'd never be capable of: lusting after real person TV characters. I talked about it in length here and here so the only thing I'm gonna add just for good measure is that I'd do anything, anything for a BostonBeoingNOZ threesome. Holy shit I'm cringing just writing this down but I need to get my point across.

3. Still Looking For That Kiss - Love in The Air

I know this is a general experience at this point but the chemistry between the couples in Love In The Air opened a whole knew world for me. I thought I knew chemistry but when I saw them, I realized I knew NOTHING.

It may sound weird but I'm still looking for that perfect kiss that's hitting all the right neurons in my brain. I have a hunch that one of these two pairs will deliver them one day, but until then I NEED to watch a million kisses for research.

This post by @talistheintrovert explains perfectly what I think about kissing in shows. Ji Chang Wook is still the blueprint for me.

But do I have a favorite BL kiss so far? Yes, yes I do. It's this ShinPeach beauty.

4. Main Lead Syndrome - Kiseki: Dear To Me

I am a second lead, side couple enby before I am human but I will defend these two until the end of time. My TL is flooded with Chen Yi, Ai Di, Nat and Louis while these two are over here falling in love over strawberry cake, cat analogies, failed cooking and all sorts of memory loss. Zongyi opened a fucking bakery for his babygirl and Zerui pretended to be a pretty dumdum to protect the love of his life.

I don't care how much you all love the two dumb (affectionately) gangsters, these two deserve the world, end of story. Also Kai Hsu and Taro Lin are bff's irl now, Taro said that Kai helped him get out of a very bad mental tate and I take that very personally.

5. The Fanservice is Fanservicing - Kiseki: Dear To Me

Speaking of Taro and Kai, the fact that I even know that they're bff's is another brainaltering moment that needs recognition because months later it led me to this TikTok of two actors I don't know of a show I don't watch, staring at them for ages and really considering watching it just because of it.

That is the power of fanservice my friends and I can put on my clownmask now because I avidly screamed left and right that fanservice should be forbidden when I learned about it. I blame Kiseki for that. But my point still stands, I hate actors doing stuff they're uncomfortable with. I just hope they're all friends and have fun and get that coin.

6. The One Just For Me - Playboyy

I've been lurking around Playboyy from the moment I found out they have the same writer as OF. And boy did it deliver so far! I already wrote a bunch here about which role Playboyy plays for me, but it's also a wonderful case study for my producer heart — watching the acting, directing, lighting, sets, props and storyline interact is fascinating.

People say the less you notice the better the show, which is correct, but I love all the flaws of this piece of media. IMHO it's the last puzzlepiece of the amazing, important social commentary the show delivers. All of the topics the couples represent need to get their very own show.

7. The Holy Grail - The Sign

Speaking of the less you notice — this is the sign for The Sign (again, sorry). There's a reason this show is loved and praised so widely because the production is on a whole other level. Adding the beautiful story on top of that, we have the potential for a holy grail here and I'm so in for the ride.

I keep saying I've entered the world of BL in it's absolute golden era. Never in a million years did I think I'd watch 5 shows simultaneosly but I love every single one of them so much I keep a whole spreadsheet on how I can be on time for every premiere every week alongside my work schedule.

Honorable mentions

KinnPorsche: VegasPete were my first dark, angsty, morally questionable couple ever (I'm a sissy okay)

Last Twilight: When I watched Extraordinary Attorney Woo, I cried several times about the wonderful media representation of disability. It means so much to me and Last Twilight is on par with that.

Bake Me Please: Thank you for giving me this beautiful kiss

Manner of Death: Thank you MaxTul for making gay makeouts fashionable

Bad Buddy: The one time I was glad I persisted so I could watch them most adorable phone scene on the planet

I Feel You Linger In The Air: It was too painful for me to finish but I loved the show with my whole heart and it deserves all the awards it got.

Kimi ni Todokanai: Japanese shows just hit different. I'll never get over the kissing Taiyaki.

The Novelist Series: THIS is how you kiss the one you're horny for my friends. Take notes directors.

Semantic Error: My fav webtoon -> Got Viki for the Series -> Found the BL corner of Viki -> Drew my attention to Tumblr -> This post.

Thank you for being the butterfly of my butterfly effect.

And thank YOU if you read until here! To a even more wonderful queer year 2024! I'm so ready for this ride.

[none-shall-caricature-me]

I've noticed that, probably due to a desire to alleviate the grim nature of the original, many xuexiao fanfic writers opt to focus on (twisted or fluffy) romantic feelings of the characters. The emphasis ends up being on their romantic / platonic / sexual attraction rather than their incredibly juicy ideological contest and the antagonistic tension mixed with intrigue that Xue Yang shows towards Xiao Xingchen. Basically, there is too much 'lovers / froends' and not enough 'enemies' in their enemies - to - lovers / friends story. (I'm not criticising that. I'm a sucker for their mushier side too. But I'm equally a sucker for a good brutal battle of creeds.)

So let me fill this gap by describing how DELICIOUS the exploration of the 'you're my enemy and u SUCK and your worldview is RIDICULOUS but I LOVE rotating you in the microwave testing the limits of your resolve' aspect is or can be. I'll use some moments from the show / novel that I find striking in this regard.

XXC is very kind but lacks the worldly experience to be spot - on empathetic (as others have pointed out). He's also rigid to a fault. This is a VERY unpopular interpretation of mine but I believe he can be selfish / negligent in his goodness - he sheds caution about possible repercussions on his near ones in his mission to fight evil. He was smart enough to figure out the Chang massacre and trace it to XY. He knows XY is incredibly vengeful and creative in his vengeance. He's had experience with powerful people who will obstruct justice. Yet he goes ahead with prosecuting XY even when Jin Guangshan acts shady and uncooperative. Didn't he consider that this might put a target on his well - known partner Song Lan ?

Welp, then the Baixue bloodbath happens and XXC very understandably blames himself. I know we like to say it wasn't his fault, and of course it technically wasn't, but he did commit a grave error in not thinking through the consequences. It could be a miscalculation, negligence or even cavalier tunnel - vision, depending on your opinion. But anyway, XXC's morale is shattered and as others (like ameliarating) have said, he determined to never end up harming others in his quest for righteousness again.

XY wiped out Baixue for revenge, but also to kill XXC's hopes and vision, again also mentioned by others. May be a stretch, but it could be XY's way of saying 'hah, you don't care to understand why the world is as awful as it is, and then blame ME for doing shitty things to live it up in a shitty world. So let me show you how things actually work, and why my existence and lifestyle are valid.' It's like a really fucked up method of self - affirmation for XY. (Just in case - I am neutral on XY's actions. The novel doesn't give us much insight into his thoughts, so I'll withhold judgement on the nature vs. nurture debate about XY. But he's definitely an interesting character).

Then XY starts infiltrating XXC's life in Yi City. Why does he stick around after healing ? I like to think it's initially because he's a) taking advantage of XXC's generous freebies cuz why not and b) wants to torment him, yes, but he's also very very curious about XXC. Maybe it's because XXC's still out here trying to do good when many people would've either quit and hardened their hearts, or been broken irreparably. So XY think's he'll get both schadenfreude and try to find out why this dumbass saved a highly suspicious dying man and continued on his goody goody quest instead of learning his lesson. The lesson XY tried to teach him. Maybe XXC's whole deal makes XY wonder how his life would be if he'd acted nicer and more socially acceptable. Would it have saved him any pain ? Would he have had true allies then ? Did he choose a life of callous crime because he is weak - willed and 'inferior' unlike the seemingly unbreakable superiority of XXC ?

So he makes XXC kill on 'night - hunts'. Perhaps to prove that XXC got manipulated into doing harm cuz he's dumb or full of hubris and refuses to wisen up, refuses to become more cynical and wary of people. This ties back into Baixue too. Also I think the book mentions the victims are residents who mocked / cheated XXC ? If that's true, it's like XY is 'introducing' XXC to taking bloody revenge just like XY did on the Chang clan and others who crossed him / his pals. Like he's enacting teaching XXC 'look, if you keep up the good deeds, eventually you'll meet someone who ruins you so you destroy that hope for humanity and become just like me. Your way will always end in disaster, and therefore I'm justified in living like I do.'

Of course, in the end XY realises that XXC's drive to better society was his way of coping with the harsh reality of humans, especially after being ousted from BSSR's mountain. XXC didn't want to live in a sordid world. Meanwhile XY's coping mechanism was to extort the sordid world for all he wanted.

There's a tiny moment in CQL where, after the fake night hunt slaughter, XXC walks past a smirking XY and his arm brushes XY's sleeve, whose grin grows larger. It's like XY's relishing in XXC so casually touching and hanging about him totally unawares. Also he's horny for XXC's combat skills.

So yeah. Antagonist obsessed with corrupting his enemy, wrapping him around his finger, but not willing to let go. He ended up being totally down to bask in XXC's obstinate kindness despite that being the very thing he wanted to disprove and destroy.

XXC hesitates to kill XY after the reveal. What does he get from XY? Maybe it was reassuring that someone as hard - hearted and self - centred as his friend was willing to stick around in no man's land with him. It's soothing because it makes it seem like the world isn't that cruel, that perhaps the potential for good exists in people, hence helping XXC cope with his existential anxiety. He has to hold on to that hope even as his friend's identity is revealed, else there's nothing left for him since he can't bear to live in a world of evil and exploitation.

Why didn't XY move on after XXC's suicide ? If all he wanted was acceptance and shelter, he could've found so many other options. No, he was obsessed with XXC cuz he thought that if someone perfectly willing to kill him in the past over morals hesitated to kill him in the end, it must be an actual stable love. Where else, he thinks, would be find someone who loved him enough to not kill him despite them being such hostile opposites by character and circumstance ? Lots of people could love him cuz they agreed with his worldview or found it / him expedient. Who would love him even when their entire identity and misery opposed it ?

[itmightrain]

"Hodgkin's Lymphoma was one of the first cancers that was shown to be really responsive to both chemotherapy and radiation, so even though chemotherapy sucks, I knew we were going to do that. [...] I was 100% on board with chemo, and it's definitely extended my life, it's probably saved my life and I'll die of some other thing.

And three of the four chemo drugs that I was on are natural. They're from nature. Vinblastine comes from the Madagascar Periwinkle. It's just in a cute little flower, it was known to the indigenous people of Madagascar, scientists checked it out and found that it had a bunch of anti-cancer properties. Another one, Adriamycin, also called Doxorubicin, was found in microbes in the soil at the base of an Italian castle. The third, Bleomycin, was also found in a soil microbe called Streptomyces Verticillus. [...] Streptomyces Verticillus was never used in traditional medicine as far as we know, but all three of these molecules are both natural compounds and very effective chemotherapies for Hodgkin's Lymphoma (and some of them for other things).

And they've been tested, not just to see if they're effective, but to see:

What doses are most effective

Which cancers they're most effective against

How dangerous they are

What side effects are most common

How they effect women vs men

How they effect people based on their age

Their efficacy at different stages of cancer

How long you can safely take them

Which side effects are most serious and how to minimize those complications, both in the short-term and the long-term [...]

Cancers are not chill! Treatments have to be high impact because these are high impact and sneaky diseases. And so it's kind of amazing that we're in this point in history where a lot of these medicines have been tested in a lot of different ways to see what their best dosing schedule is, to see how little you can take without increasing the chances that the cancer will come back, to know how to be prepared for potential side effects. This is the slow, careful, tedious work of medical research, and it made the cancer treatment that I have just been through way less awful than it would've been just ten years ago.

During the time when I was publicly living with cancer and talking about cancer treatment, I received almost universally good vibes. Like I just want to be clear about that, people were amazing. But I did get some folks who would come to me and say that I would have a better outcome and be healthier if I took a more natural route, by which they meant that I should not be doing chemotherapy. [...]

The question becomes: if most of my cancer treatments came from nature, what do they mean when they say that I should be doing more natural treatments?

I gotta be clear here too, when it comes to like Epsom salt baths and acupuncture during chemotherapy, yes I'm in favor of all of that. If you want to do it and your doctor is telling you it's not going to do any harm and you feel like it's going to do good? Do it. [...] And there are also supplements that we know don't hurt and we think might help. [...] As long as you're talking to your doctor about it and it doesn't look like there's negative consequences I say do it.

There are some things that look like they might have some positive effect, but nothing has a positive effect like actual cancer treatment. So skipping those actual cancer treatments in favor of natural treatment makes me wonder: what do you mean by "natural"?

And here it is. I'm not sugarcoating this. I don't know a nicer way to say it. When we say natural cancer treatment, what we mean is something that either we don't know it works, or we know that it doesn't work, or we know that it does more harm than good. That's the only things that we mean when we say "natural cancer treatment", because otherwise a "natural cancer treatment" would include the three compounds from nature that I put in my body to cure my cancer.

The majority of cancer cases on earth, and an even greater majority of cancer deaths on Earth, happen outside of high-income countries. Those people don't die of cancers because they don't have access to coffee enemas or cannabis oil or apricot pits. They die because they don't have access to chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, and screening.

- Hank Green, Did "Natural" Cancer Treatments Save My Life?

[optimisticunicorn]

Hey wanna read a short AlmondTruffle fanfic I wrote last year? I ended it abruptly cause I couldn't think of anything else

Charmed

It was the beginning of a warm starry evening. The light of the moon was sprinkled across the streets contrasted by the warm glow within a bar. The filled with the low hum of chitter chatter. If you could pinch your ear you could almost hear delightful laughter coming from the corner booth.

"Okay I have another one." Cinnamon cookie said as he flipped his deck of cards around, sandwiching them together. Truffle was delighted by the little magic show put on display for her. The night was still young and she wasn't there to get drunk. But she did enjoy pun humor which Cinammon was overflowing with.

"So two atoms are talking and one of the says-"

"Ahem."

They both looked up to see Almond adorned with a friendly smile.

"Sorry to disturb your conversation I was just wondering if I could steal Truffles from you for a moment."

Cinnamon looked to Truffles and replied. "Oh, we weren't actually talking, she was just letting me practice my act on her because she was bored.You two can go ahead"

She waved goodnight as she followed Almond to his seat at the farther corner of the bar. She wondered "why would Amond need to talk to her ? It's probably serious." She thought. Her thoughts where interrupted by the sound of his voice as they sat down.

"I didn't know you liked card tricks?"

"Oh well, I can't deny myself a little whimsy every now and again. Why do you ask? "

"Just couldn't help but hear you laughing for a while I got a little jealous.You must think he's charming."

"I find everyone charming." She replied she swirling her drink in her glass.

"Are you in need of my help for a case detective?"

"Hmm? Oh no. I'm off duty.I just wanted your company is all." He chuckled.

"Huh, I don't think I've ever seen you off duty, I just assume you're constantly on the clock dear."

Almond paused from taking a sip of his drink to chuckle. " I get breaks Truffles! I know it doesn't look like it but I do go home."

"Yes! But I've never seen you mingle you know? You're always mean looking, I mostly assumed you just weren't a people person." She giggled.

"Aww you think I'm mean?" He playfully pouted. He gently picked up her hand and kissed it. "I can be nice too even nicer to you if you want." He winked. Herheart pounded and flustered . Smiling as she faced away hiding her blushing cheeks. she could barely comprehend her thoughts.

"Aw, don't don't turn that pretty face away. Talk to me." He smiled.

"Oh this is all so sudden."

It did feel sudden Truffles could only count the times they've interacted on her hand. And she rarely ever dated. But he was kind of rugged, and he did have a nice chizzled face. He certainly wasn't the kind of man she was used to.She really didn't mind the attention of a respectable, older man. She didn't know what it was about him, but he somehow sucked the calm confidence she'd usually carry at every moment. She felt a little vunerable, but maybe that was ok.

"Yes well, I've been having my eye on you for a while."

Such a casual response made her hold her cheek and blush.

"When did I catch your attention?"

"I always thought you were a lovely woman. I'd look at you sometimes and just couldn't help but think to myself, wow her partner must be so luckiest person in the world."

" I find that I'm the luckiest tonight " she giggled under her breath she was having such a ball she almost didn't notice her phone vibrating.

"Oh my , I'm terribly sorry but I have to go."

"Oh early day tomorrow?"

"No I have to catch the bus. I'd walk if it wasn't so dark out."

"Don't you have a car?"

"Yes but a girl must get her exercise somehow."

"Well the least I could do is escort you ."

[knightsteapot]

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ OF LIES AND DATING APPS

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III

Jason Todd x Latina!reader

Fluff | Angst

Minors DNI, kinda unhealthy behavior, don't ignore your emotions kids, be honest to yourselves.

Author's notes: Next chapter. Good friends help you to find your James BUT ALSO tell you the truth when you're not acting in the healthiest way.

Wanna see the gadgets I mentioned? Here

Comments, reblogs and likes are well received and extra motivation to keep writing. Please enjoy!

You left the papers you were reading on top of the wooden desk, the red comfy chair made an unpleasant sound as you stretched your back, a deep sigh leaving your lips once you took a look at the conversation you just had until your phone's screen went black. The day was gray, it was raining and the outlaws were staying at home after tiring weeks of consecutive missions, it was your first day at home after the chimera case but you didn't have time to rest or probably, being in the studio surrounded by screens, maps and documents with intel was better than facing reality.

You haven't seen his face since last night. You arrived late, beaten, exhausted, your energy just let you say "hello", take a shower and go to sleep but oh, how wonderful it was to see those blue eyes again. Seeing Bizarro and Artemis was great too, however, seeing Jason fine and alive sitting on the big leather couch while playing video games with his bothers online was everything you needed, it was the definition of "home is not a place, home is the people you always return to." . Once Jason saw you he stood up forgetting about his game, approached in such slow motion that it hurt and then took your sword out of your tired hands, then did the same with the gadgets in your head and face.

"Long journey, eh?" He hesitated in the last part opening and closing his pale pink lips, licked them briefly and didn't say anything else, just offered a smile. If you were dating someone else, that James, he should stop calling you "Preciosa", "bonita" or any other variations. It sucked, it made him feel frustrated but who was him to do something about it and claim you as his? He didn't even know if that's what he wanted. The thought made him frown, his eyes focused on the living room's huge window instead of you, he was lying to himself but that was nothing new.

"Yes..." You could barely keep your eyes open but your smitten smile was intact, it was always like that when he was close, that night he looked specially cute with his typical red hoodie, gray pants and messy, extra messy hair, you couldn't help yourself. Your mind started running wild imagining coming back home to hug and kiss him, how you missed those juicy lips.

"Then you should go to sleep, Flores." A feminine voice interrupted the moment. The redhead amazon spoke from the white kitchen counter, she was drinking tea or coffee, you weren't sure. "you look awful."

"I fought a chimera. Don't tell me they don't exist, they do and are huge." You answered in an attempt to sound funny and then walked heavily towards your room after saying "good night" to your teammates.

Shaking your head you focused on the present just in time to see Bizarro offering you a cup of tea, you wondered how such big man entered the studio so quietly "You're not coming with me. You don't need to rest."

"Okay, okay big boy." You smiled following him to the living room that despite its size looked small thanks to the glass containers with Artemis, Jason and your suits, your house was particular. "How have you been, B?" You decided to focus on your kryptonian friend instead of the man training in the next room.

Your cheeks turned red by the sudden exchange with James, Kath gave him your number and he didn't hesitate to text and be adorable, he seemed like a good boy indeed. You smiled almost excited for the date, you've been wanting a new tattoo for so long...

Jason, who just finished his training was leaving the training room wearing only his Wonder Woman shorts and a towel on his shoulders, he seemed irritated, the training room was small, actually the place was small for people like him or Bizarro to live comfortably, but Bizarro seemed very content spending his time on the couch that, again, was too small for him. Jason raised his black and perfectly shaped eyebrow at the sight of you sitting beside him, smiling to your phone with bright excited eyes. His irritation growing significantly.

Did you ever smiled like that when he texted you? the truth Jason choose to ignore was the fact that you smiled like that whenever you saw him, whenever you talk to him or about him, whenever he called, whenever he texted, whenever he was mentioned, just like he found out years ago in that conversation he shouldn't have eavesdropped but he did anyways.

[unharmed]

[ Hello there! ]

[ Wow, you're seriously going to attempt reading about me?? Alright then, before we begin this long and tiresome charade, let's go over the basic information you NEED to know and understand.. ]

[ NO! i do not want to subscribe to your OF]

[ I don't "want" you. I don't "need" you. I don't want to "come see you". ]

[ Please for the love of whatever you love most, do not bother telling me this post offended you]

[ Aw you look beautiful when you’re smiling! Love those shoes too ;) ]

[ Alright, get comfortable my darling ]

[ I love people, i just don't find many interesting. So technically, the law of averages works against you.]

[ You might be awesome.. please, feel welcome to change my mind ]

[ Okay, Lets go. ]

[ My name is Arias ]

[ You most likely just pronounced it wrong.. ]

[ I like coffee ]

[ I like people. I wouldn't be able to live without people.]

[ I love talking ]

[ You don't know me ]

[ You probably wouldn't understand me even if you did ]

[ I'm From London ]

[ I also live in Los Angeles, Sydney and New york ]

[ Because i can ]

[ I travel a lot ]

[ I'm 6'3 ]

[ I like short girls ]

[ Not midgets. Short girls ]

[ My dad's white, my mum's spanish .. Incase you wondered ]

[ I'm English ]

[ Yes i have an accent, it's london with a hint of sydney]

[ I like it.. ]

[ No you probably will never hear it ]

[ Are you hungry? You should get a snack!! Maybe a drink? Stay hydrated!]

[ I've played Piano, Guitar and Violin since i was 4 ]

[ I write lyrics and music when i'm bored ]

[ No i will not write you a song ]

[ Yes i can sing ]

[ No i will not sing for you ]

[ I love to cook ]

[ No i will not cook for you ]

[ I'm blunt so i can be an arsehole ]

[ I'm quite nice in general ]

[ I'm passive, i really don't give a fuck ]

[ Unless i care.. then I absolutely give a fuck ]

[ I won't suck up just so you like me ]

[ I do what I want ]

[ I do not like cameras, in case you’re wondering why my page isn’t littered with selfies ]

[ No i will not be your trick monkey ]

[ or your human puppet ]

[ enough. ]

[ Make me smile, make me laugh, i'll get addicted to you ]

[ I'm a cuddle whore ]

[ I'm attracted to pretty faces and beautiful smiles ]

[ I'm a dreamer ]

[ I love to plan dreamy dates and sensational moments]

[ I have sleep issues. I like my issues ]

[ I love to read ]

[ I think you're spiffy because you're still reading this ]

[ I'm bored right now, so i may NEVER stop. ]

[ I LOVE to cook. I even bake my own bread haha ]

[ If you tak lyke dis, dun fuhkin tak 2 me mkay? ]

[ Right. got that off my chest ]

[ I swim, i run, i eat unhealthy, my body is so confused, but it's pretty to look at? ]

[ I love music, i have way too much music for one guy ]

[ I love kids, i have 3 god children and they rock my world ]

[ I'm opinionated and judgemental, however, i will listen to your opinion and i will listen to your side of the story]

[ I'm hopelessly romantic ]

[ I'm very very very picky ]

[ No. I'm not looking for anything or anyone ]

[ Romance.. is so misunderstood ]

[ I'm broken ]

[ No. You can't fix me ]

[ Wow. I didn't stop. You didn't stop. We're still here and we're meant to be *gushes* haha ]

[ I'll probably adopt. ]

[ I'm always bored ]

[ I like conversation ]

[ I love to read ]

[ I don't like pictures, i figure that if there is something beautiful enough, it'll burn into my memory ]

[ I however, do not want you to hit on me ]

[ I can be very perverted ]

[ No, this does not imply i want to talk dirty ]

[ Or.. that i want you to talk dirty ]

[ Or.. discuss my kinks ]

[ Please try not to be too creepy.. PRETTY PLEASE? ]

[ I'm also very moralistic ]

[ I love my imagnation ]

[ I have a major oral fetish ]

[ Do we have things in common? ]

[ No, You could probably never be my dream girl ]

[ I have never had a one night stand ]

[ Yes, i'm very picky and fucking frustrating ]

[ Are you Captain Entertainment? Sent to rescue me from the trescherous depths of boredom? ]

[ Didn't think so.. ]

[ I love cookies, they make me happy ]

[ I love cold miserable rainy weather ]

[ I'm cheeky ]

[ I’m contradictory ]

[ I'm complicated ]

[ I'm curious ]

[ Did the brackets annoy you? ]

[ Or.. the spacing? ]

[ You made it.. You deserve a prize! ]

[ Stupid word count ]

[ Message me if you still want more ]

[chrystalwynd]

   Diapers and Debts- Part 5

*An age-regression misadventure.*

    "That's a good little doodle bug," said Lexie, holding out her arms as I walked to her. "Jen-Jen is walking like a big girl now!"

    I rolled my eyes. I’d been walking for days now, so it wasn't like a big deal.

    In fact, I was positively sprouting now. I had sailed through the twos, threes and fours and was- physically speaking, of course- pushing five now.

    Mommy picked me up and held me on her hip. Then she dipped a bottle nipple in the fluid and popped it in my mouth.

    I gave her a look and grabbed the bottle myself. As if I couldn't feed myself by now. I was a big girl now! Hmmppphhh.

    "I'm weally big now, Mommy!" I said.

    "I know, Jen-Jen," she said. "Now go lay on the bed so Mommy can change you."

    All right, so I was still baby-talking and I was still stuck in diapers, but Rome wasn't built in a day.

    I ran to the bedroom and struggled up onto the bed. I rolled over onto my back.

    Mommy nodded. "Good girl," she said, setting the supplies on the comforter. "Now lift your butt for me."

    I drank from my ba-ba as I lifted my bottom. I was used to this. Mommy popped off the tape and slid off my diaper. She cleaned me quickly and efficiently, then powdered me up. I finished my bottle just as she taped my clean diaper on.

    Mommy took my empty ba-ba. Then she brushed some of the fluid she coated everything with onto my thumb.

    "Go ahead, sweetie," she said. "You can suck your thumb. You earned it."

    I popped my thumb into my mouth, sucking contentedly.

    Okay, yes, I was still sucking my thumb like crazy. So? It relaxed me.

    Mommy hummed to herself as she gathered everything off the bed. She went off to dispose of the dirty diaper.

    She really seemed to get a big kick out of the whole mommy scene. Weird girl, but hey, it takes all kinds.

    *****

    Despite it not even being noon yet, I fell asleep shortly thereafter, thumb still in my mouth. When I woke up several hours later, my thumb was still in my mouth. Geez.

    I realized then it must have been a deep sleep. For one, it looked to be around late afternoon. Two, my nappy was really, really wet. And three, I looked to be around thirteen years old.

    "Oh!" I said, sliding off the bed and running to the living room in nothing but a diaper stretched tightly across my widening hips. "Oh! Mommy! Mommy! Wook wook! I'm getting weally big again!"

    Mommy looked me up and down. Then she looked at Max and smiled.

    She stepped over to me and put her hands on my bare shoulders. "That's wonderful, sweetie!" she said. "You'll be fully grown again by tomorrow morning, I think."

    "Yayyyy!" I said. "That's weally gweat! Finalwy!"

    "All right, let's get you changed, cutie," said Mommy.

    "'Kay, Mommy!" I said.

    Mommy dipped my thumb in that cleaning fluid or whatever it was and let me suck my thumb while she changed my diaper. Yes, at this point I shouldn't have let her make me suck my thumb or even change my diaper, but I was too close to being grown up again to mess with a confrontation.

    As Mommy got me cleaned up, though, I did notice something. I decided to ask her about it.

    "Mommy?" I said. "Ummmmm...is it me or awe my boobies kinda...ummmm...wike, weally big? I mean, I think they're, wike, bigger than when I waz a big girl!"

    Mommy smiled. "Don't you worry about your adorable boobies, baby girl," she said. "They're just fine."

    Mommy got finished cleaning me up. Then she made me a large bottle and suggested I go back to bed.

    "You're sleeping so much because your body is expending large amounts of energy to facilitate your growth," she said. "That's why you were sleeping so much when you regressed. Go to sleep early tonight so your body has the energy it needs to complete your growth cycle back to adulthood."

    Sounded like a plan to me. Mommy taped me into an extra-absorbent diaper, in case I slept all the way through the night without waking.

    She took a look at my chest. "You better not sleep on your belly," she said. "I don't think that would be comfortable."

    I rolled my eyes and stomped off to my room. Then I crawled into bed.

    Mommy entered a few seconds later. She coated my thumb again.

    "There you go, doodle bug," she said. "Your last night as my little girl."

    "I know, Mommy!" I said. Then I stuck my tongue out at her.

    Mommy laughed. "Very funny," she said. "Good night, baby girl."

    *****

    I woke the following morning with my thumb planted firmly in my mouth. Then my eyes widened as I realized what this morning was.

    I jumped out of bed and squealed.

    "Mommy mommy mommy!" I said, scampering barefoot around my bedroom. "I'm gwown! I'm alllll gwown up! Yayyyyyyyy!"

    Lexie entered the room and laughed, seeing me run around the room so excited.

    "Yes, you are, baby girl!" she said. "Now come over here so I can change your diaper. I can tell from here that you're soaking wet."

    I giggled and dashed back to the bed. Lexie handed me a bottle and I lay down on the bed. I started drinking my ba-ba, lifting my bottom so Lexie could pull off my wet diaper.

    Lexie had me clean and dry so quickly and efficiently that it took me a full minute to realize what I had just done.

    "Hey!" I said, suddenly dropping the bottle. "Wait a minute! I'm a weally big girl now! I don't hafta, wike, wear diapers or dwink ba-bas!"

    Lexie giggled. "Yep," she said. "You're right."

    I reached down and fumbled with the tape until I was finally able to remove the diaper from my hips.

    "There!" I said. "I'm not a wittle girl anymore! I'm gonna wear big girl panties!"

    Lexie giggled again.

    I grabbed some pink panties and held them up. Something was wrong. They looked foreign. Granted, I hadn't worn panties in two weeks in calendar time, but it actually felt like a lifetime.

    "Ummmmmm," I said. "Could, ummmm, could you help me get dwessed, Mommy...?"

    My cheeks burned.

    "Of course, sweetie," said Lexie, smiling. "Sit on the bed."

    Despite being back in my twenty-two year old body, Lexie was still dressing me. Grrrrrrrrr.

    Lexie slid my panties up. Then she helped me wriggle into my jeans.

    "There you go, Jen-Jen," she said, buttoning my jeans over my flat, adult belly. Then her cell phone alarm went off.

    "Oh!" she said. "I've gotta go, Jenna. Now that you don't need a babysitter, my mornings are free! I'm having breakfast with a friend. I'll be back later to get my stuff, okay?

    I waved her off impatiently. The sooner that crazy witch girl was gone, the better.

    She laughed, then left the room. A moment later, I heard the front door close.

    I jumped off the bed then and headed for the full-length mirror. I was still barefoot and topless, but I wanted to see my adult body.

    And see it, I did.

    I studied my reflection. Something was off. In fact, now that I was over the excitement of being back in my adult body and paying attention, I was able to see that something was really off. And the more I realized what was different, the bigger my eyes got.

    My lips were thick, sensuous, bee-stung pillows. My hair was a huge, tangled mess tumbling all the way down my back to just above my ass. But most embarrassing of all...my boobs had swelled to proportions so big, nobody was going to believe they were real.

    I took a step back from the mirror. What the hell had Lexie done? I looked like a vapid airhead. Plus I was still talking like a baby! This wasn't good.

    I forced myself to calm down. Lexie would be back. This could get fixed. It was just my boobs and my lips, right? It should be an easy fix. After all, now that I was an adult again, it couldn't get that bad, right?

    I got my answer seconds later when my untrained bladder released without warning, soaking my big girl panties and drenching my jeans.

    Heart pounding, I slid my thumb into my mouth and waited for Lexie's return.

    Next: Part 6

[madmadmilk]

I'm sorry that you and your bf are in such a stressful situation. Sadly, I don't really have any advice but I've gone through a kinda similar situation a few years ago. I was working in an advertising agency. It was truly awful and the toxic relationship I was in at the time wasn't exactly helpful. I was so burnt out and my mental health was at a low point. Then I quit and a few months later started studying at university, my then bf dumped me and since then everything got better. One more year of uni and I'll have my master's degree in education yeah! (gotta admit tho that I'm not sure I'll actually be working as a teacher afterwards oops I might try sth new AGAIN) So much changed after quitting that stupid advertising job. It might be a cliché thing to say but life really is too short to waste time in shitty jobs (and in my case shitty relationships). Why should we torture ourselves??? Like sure money is a thing we need and that sucks but our health and happiness are so much more important. Bright days are ahead for both of you! There's no need to have a perfect solution at hand for everything right away, just taking small steps into the direction that feels right to you is enough! I wish I wasn't too shy to actually message you. I've been following you for years and I kinda consider you a friend without even knowing you—I really just want you to be happy so I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed for you 🤍 sending lots of love and hugs and strength from across the ocean!

omg! thank you for your kind words, it's been difficult to openly talk about this to anyone IRL, and i'm not even the one quitting. but, yes!! "life really is too short to waste time in shitty jobs (or shitty relationships)" i know that, it is a privilege to "quit" a job, or take time to recenter your life, but YES!!!!!! i hope many of us keep fighting for lives and livelihoods that make us happy!!! it's messed up how much we put up with for 40+ waking hours of our lives....

ah! thank you thank you thank you!! i hope your journey continues to be fruitful, you're working so hard!! and yayyy so close to finishing your degree! it sucks that many of us go through this, but happy to hear we can keep strong!

we're friends 💐🌷💕 across the oceans and internet!! thank u again, and i hope you're having a wonderful day! 💐

[zuura]

3K FOLLOWERS APPRECIATION: TOP 10 OTP’S VOTED BY THEM

➝ #8: EDWARD ELRIC X WINRY ROCKBELL

[fablesofkitkat]

pov: 10 things w/ Endeavor as his wife (extra chap for Enji angst series)

click here for full fic

genre: fluff

enji perma tags: have some of my Enji crumbs @bootyholelicker @spicy-therapist-mom

thanks for the reblog: @sapphirelycoris @happilyheavenproductions @bakuhoe37 @bl00dyc0rpse @aw-crepes

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#01 - paranoid

You examined the small, double-barrelled pistol, then observed wryly, "It's unloaded."

"I know." He grinned and then took the weapon from you. "Do you know how to use one of these things?"

"It doesn't work unloaded, that much I know."

Ignoring your quip, he began to slip the brass cartridges into the chamber. "Pay close attention," he admonished. "This little lever on the side is a safety and will prevent an accident."

"You do remember I have a quirk, right? Or has it been lost on you why you married me in the first place?"

Enji slapped the chamber shut and looked on at a wildflower in the garden before meeting your inquisitive stare. "Indulge me."

#02 - Final

"Do you know how beautiful you are?"

You smiled at his question. "Sometimes."

"You're beautiful."

"Enji." You say in a warning tone.

"What?"

"I haven't recovered from my coma. I don't exactly look-"

"You're beautiful." He says with such finality in his tone.

You roll your eyes but you have a smile on your lips. "Have I ever told you that I find you handsome?"

"Find me? I am handsome, dear wife."

#03 - Numb

Natsuo scrunched his nose in disgust, and Fuyumi looked away politely. Touya however, had to ruin it. "Barf."

Enji looked at his kids, deadpanned. "My lips were numb from the cold."

You hit his shoulder in embarrassment. Getting caught by your kids kissing when you're in your late 40s was something. And just to annoy his sons even further, Enji kissed you more soundly and longer the second time.

He sports his stoic face as he turned to his kids and declared, "Suck it."

#04 - Lose

Their father was in the midst of his tirade, lecturing the three about irresponsibility. Maybe it wasn't the brightest idea to whisk you away for a spontaneous road trip and you ended up missing your doctor's appointment.

To their amazement, their father who seemed large and intimidating when ranting seemed to deflate at a small touch on his elbow.

Fuyumi inwardly squealed at the transformation. Ever the romantic.

Natsuo and Touya shared a look, having the same thought. 'So much possibilities.'

You will lose count on how many times Natsuo and Touya will be using your name to cut Enji's lectures short.

#05 - Wings

The fluttering in his stomach doesn't cease. Some days it is muted sure, that comes with the longevity of marriage but it doesn't leave.

He is accosted by the feeling once more as you turned your back to him and asked him to put the hairpin on your head.

#06 - Abstinence

Contemplating your flushed cheeks, he guided the pendant back into its soft crevice, and with lavish care, straightened the chain around your neck. You remained pliant beneath his robing hand, meeting his expectant gaze with a cool smile of mild amusement.

"You know what the doctor said..." Your breath nearly halted as his hand wandered downward over your breast and came to rest possessively on your hip. You raised an innocent brow at him. "Enji."

"I wonder," he mused aloud, "if I should become a monk with how great my will is."

You laughed with velvety softness, recalling to Enji's mind a burning vision of you naked in his arms.

#07 - Wasteful

"Ah, I presume this is your wife," the store manager chortled. "You won't believe what your husband has ordered for you, ma'am. The very best! Absolutely!"

"Really?" You shoot a quizzical look towards your suddenly stoical husband.

"Oh, yes indeed, Mrs. Todoroki." the man bubbled. Half-facing the Flame Hero, he gestured to th case. "With your permission, Mr. Todoroki."

Enji gave a curt nod, and the portly man eagerly unstrapped the coffret. With an air of suspense gleaming in his eyes, he slowly lifted the lid of the case to display the contents before you.

Stunned amazement swept over you, for there, arranged on dark velvet, was a small collection of precious jewelry. Long strands of pearls, an emerald necklace, earrings to match, and a cluster of large diamonds mounted in an intricately worked gold pendant, with brilliant teardrop earrings placed beside it.

Enji came to sit beside you and reached down to inspect the pieces.

"Everything's perfect, sir," the jolly jeweler beamed. "Will the madam try it on?"

You stubbornly turned to face him, eyes defiant at the unnecessary extravagance. He leaned over your shoulder and secured the latch, and for a moment you were overwhelmingly aware of his loosely encircling arms and his hard, furred chest hidden in his shirt.

"Beautiful." Enji murmured in appreciation, hardly glancing at the pendant.

#08 - Lack

"And this! I want to see you in this!" This last garment he laid with more care on the bed was deep red wrap dress, and jabbed a commanding finger at it.

You had regained your composure and struck a motherlode of stubbornness at least as rich as his. You left the garments at your feet, and though no word passed your lips, the look in your eyes as you silently met his gaze was pure mutiny. Maybe you were blowing this out of proportion but Enji DOES NOT get to choose what you wear. Your low self-esteem is also speaking. Ever since your recuperation, you avoided looking at the mirror or dressing up. You know this is Enji trying to make you feel better but you felt so insecure these days.

Deliberately turning your back on him, you crossed your arms in a huff.

An almost lecherous smile tempted Enji's lips as his eyes swept the bed. He would not have you see it and replaced it with his best frown. He walked forwards, with quick fingers pulling out the waistband of your pants, and with a carefully controlled flame, they sagged loosely downward. You catch them in time as you whirled, an expression of indignation on your face.

"Ahhh," Enji smiled condescendingly. "I have your attention now."

#09 - Kabedon

His eyes coursed down the fine curves of your stiff back, from the column of your neck, to the beckoning fullness of your hips. You evoked a strong stirring desire, and he felt the familiar hardening.

He steps into the shower and moved to stand behind you, not touching, but near enough that you were trapped and could not move without coming into contact with him. He braced his forearm against the wall and gazed down upon the tantalizing curve of your breasts. He ached to caress your softness, to hold you close and ease the lusting ache that gnawed at the pit of his belly.

"Wife."

His senses besotted. He lusted. He craved. And all for you. His hand reached out to caress the silky smoothness of your bare shoulder. He touched; you burned.

# 10 - Safe

There was a tickling in your ear, a whisper so soft you could not distinguish from your dreams.

"Wife, are you asleep?"

"Enji?" you sighed in a soft, drowsy breath. You pressed closer, lulled into the security of his presence.

He rose above you slightly, laying an arm along your back and nuzzling his nose into the fragrant, tresses above your ear, while his lips moved against it. "Let's fuck."

You weren't able to go back to sleep after that.

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CLICK HERE FOR WHOLE FIC.

[littlest-dark-age]

Innocence lost

!!!Contains nsfw content!!! Please do not read if you do not wish to consume nsfw content!!!

Taglist @randomoutsiders @plzineedhelp ft @quindolyn bc she asked

You walk into the great hall, just wanting to sit and rest for a moment after the long day of classes and mishaps that went along with said classes. Quickly spotting James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all in a rather heated discussion, while shovelling food on to their plates and into their mouths between word and breath.

Furrowing your brow as you wonder what could be the possible cause of the borderline argument. Did Sirius pull another prank gone rogue? After all that was often the cause of some of the more heated conversations the group had.

As you grow closer and closer to said group, you notice they're talking in hushed whispers. As well as the fact that Remus has a deep blush and Sirius has that grin that he always gets when he's talking about more…..vulgar topics, Peter looking away from the three and focusing on the stone floor. Unable to see James until you're about to sit, his cheeks redder than cherries and glasses a bit steamy. All of them jump slightly when you sit down and start to put food on your own plate, conversation dying out while you eye them suspiciously.

"Talking about me or something? I'd hope not with the way you lot are blushing.” Sirius rolls his eyes before flashing you a smirk, taking a sip from his cup.

"I'd let you make me blush anyday, darling. But m'not quite the one who's the worst, now am I?"

His eyes drift to the right of you, where James sits and has his hands in his lap. Twitching as he fiddled with the rings littering them. He huffs at Sirius's words, blush still bright as ever.

"Right, and what were you all talking about that has you so?" Eyebrow raised as your hand stops mid reach for the piece of bread in front of you.

"N-nothing, nothing at all…." Peter murmurs from across the table, still turned away from everybody.

"Aw, s'not nothin now is it, wormtail? We're talking about sex darling. The feeling of another's skin against your own, the way you both get so sweaty and get a rush unmatched. How it feels to hold someone so close and make such a mess out of them while they're thanking you for it and asking for more, more and more." Sirius closes his eyes with a devilish grin, knowing that he's properly flustered you as well now.

You blink slowly as you start to comprehend the conversation they might have been happening before you say down, not even a noise of acknowledgment leaving you. But before you can get a word in, Sirius cuts in again.

"And I made a marvelous discovery, shocking really-" before he can finish his sentence, James slams his hand on the table while pushing himself up. Grumbling while he gets up and storms off, out of the great hall and to their dorms you can only assume. You huff while turning to watch him, knowing what a temper James has and wondering what in the world could have Sirius done to set it off now.

"Sirius Orion Black, what have you done to the poor boy?" You stare at him, where he sits across the table. Shocked by James's actions.

"More like what hasn't happened to him…" mumbled before he realized it. All you need to know to piece everything together, anger rising in you at the thought of them picking at him for such a simple thing.

Quickly taking a few bites of your own food, you get up just as James did moments ago. Making your way to the Gryffindor common room, you wonder how angry he had to be to make it there in so little time.

As you creep up the stairs, you only hope he'll talk to you. James is easily one of the most stubborn people you can think of and despises being embarrassed in such a way. Slowly stopping in front of the dorm door, you hesitantly raise your hand to gently knock on the thick door.

"James? It's just me, I wanted to check on you," you call out, trying to not disturb anybody else in case there were others in their own dorms.

The bed creaks from behind the door, followed by shuffling footsteps and finally the lock being undone. There's a moment of stillness, neither you nor James making a move to open the door. A soft sigh leaves you as you reach for the handle to let yourself in, peeking into the room before fully entering it.

James sitting on the chest at the end of his bed, eyes focused onto the floor. Never looking up to meet your own. You can feel your heart constrict at the sight, one that's rather rare as much doesn't put James potter in such a mood as apparently the conversation had. Silently shuffling into the room, you shut the door behind you with a soft click before going to sit on the end of the bed.

Seconds pass with no movement, or words. Until James lifts his head and turns to you, face a bit less red then it had been at the table. Feeling his eyes roam your face, searching for something but you can't tell what it is.

"S'not m fault. Kept pushing until jus' came out. Then pads wouldn' stop."

Brows furrowing in confusion at his words, you turn to face him.

"I'm sure it can't be that bad, Siri always makes things seem much more dire then they are. What could be so bad that they've got you this upset?"

"'ve never had sex…..not like there weren't opportunities, jus' never with the right person…"

You wonder if James can hear how fast your heart is racing, hear all the thoughts that are running through your head. 'who does he mean?....me maybe?'

"....and who is the right person?" Your voice wavers and shakes with every word that leaves your mouth.

James opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water for a moment before shutting it completely.

"I-um, well…..you…." comes out as a soft whisper.

A breath leaves you in shock, and happiness. Thoughts speeding up to a mile a minute, going in every direction possible. Only stopping at the sound of James getting up and standing in front of you, his hands reaching out to gently cup your jaw and lifting it to look up at him. Gently stroking your cheek before leaning down and pressing his warm lips against yours. Softly moving his lips to match your own, wanting nothing more than to feel you completely.

He pulls away with a soft grin, cupping both of your cheeks in his warm hands. You can't help but look up at him with half lidded eyes, the simple kiss enough to spark a need in-between your legs as you place your own hands over his.

"How about I….help...they'd have nothing laugh about then….?"

He bites his lip in thought, before slowly nodding. James leans down once more, one of his hands sliding down to hold the back of your neck. Pressing his lips to yours once more, but with more force and more passion than the last. Moulding themselves to fit perfectly against yours. Only pulling away for a moment of air before diving back in, tugging you closer. You pull away fully after a moment, resting your forehead against his with a soft smile.

"Gonna let me taste you before we have some more fun?" In a teasing lilt, as you grin softly.

James's eyes burst open, searching your face for a hint of a lie that you were joking or messing with him. But finding only a look of want in your eyes and a bit of nervousness etched into your features. He slowly starts to nod while licking his lips, unable to really believe what was going on. That you actually wanted him in the way he's been wanting you for so so long. The thought of if this could have happened sooner crosses his mind but he doesn't pay it any attention, enjoying the fact that it's happening now.

You tug him by his tie down to you, finally pulling him onto you and forcing you to lay back. James catches himself and props up using his elbow, looking down at you with a soft smile. Your free hand finding its way to his soft hair and gripping at the base of his hairline while you lean up to press kisses into his jaw, slowly starting to trail them onto his neck. Barely grazing his skin with your teeth, only enough for him to feel the nip. He lets out a shuddered breath at your teeth on his pulse point, feeling himself harden from the sudden affections.

Letting go of his tie, you run your hands down his chest. His heart drumming against your fingers when you pass over it, continuing to go further down his torso. You can feel the heat radiating off of him even through his clothes. As you slide your hand even further down, finally meeting the edge of his sweater and tug it up. Forcing James to sit back as you pull it off, quickly followed by unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it to the floor.

"Lay down f'me? Wanna make you feel good."

He nods before fixing his glasses, laying down next to you on the bed. His bulge even more apparent now that he's laying on his back. You grin whilst getting off of the bed and standing in-between his spread legs.

Hands rubbing his thighs softly, inching closer and closer to the tent in his pants while you lean down to press kisses on his chest. Slowly making your way down to James's stomach and his happy trail. Stopping once you meet the band of his pants, playfully nipping at the skin around it.

"Bloody tease s'what you are," he shakes his head before running a hand through his already messy curls.

"The best are," you press a kiss into his skin before looking up at him with a sweet smile.

Your hands abandon his thighs in favor of unzipping his pants, starting to tug them off. Grateful that he already took his shoes off once he got into the dorm. James lifts his hips, helping you slide them off of his muscular legs. The outline of his member is enough to make you drool and press your thighs together.

"Look at how hard you are….want me to make it feel better?"

"Yes please, want you so bad m'achin" James nods.

Slowly you start to stroke him over his boxers, eyeing the small wet spot near his head. Not going fast enough or hard enough to give him any real pleasure, just enough to make him even harder and make his tip weep. Thumbing the underside of his cock, feeling the veins even through his boxers. You move down to his tip and lightly suck on it through the fabric, wet spot growing with your spit.

"Fuckin, please, want 'em off," comes out as a breathy whine.

You roll your eyes before pulling away, a string of spit connecting to his boxers. Reaching up to grip the band of them, you snap them against his sensitive skin pulling a yelp from him before tugging them all the way off.

"You're so pretty," comes out before you can stop it, thumb rubbing the deep red tip of his admittedly pretty cock. Thick veins running up the underside of it, slick with his own pre-cum. His tip shining due to the spit and slick.

You lick a stripe up it, following the veins and natural curve. Looking up to see James biting his lip with his eyes screwed shut and chest heaving slightly. Flicking your tongue on the tip before wrapping your lips around it and sucking gently. Slowly taking more and more of his aching member into your mouth, feeling the weight of it on your tongue. You start to hollow your cheeks and slowly bob your head up and down his cock.

"Suck m'cock, take it all in your pretty lil' mouth," he lets out a guttural groan, reaching down to interlock his fingers with your own. Your free hand stroking what you can't take in your mouth, able to feel him throbbing with want and need.

Pulling off of him with a wet pop, you keep pumping him. The soft clicking filling the room as well as James's panting and whines. A thin layer of sweat coating him as he lifts his hips, chasing your hand. Feeling the tension in his belly grow and just wanting it to snap in two, finally being able to cum.

"Please, m'so close," you hear his breathing getting faster, his groans getting louder and whinier. Feeling him twitch in your hand, you pull away with a grin,"No!" James cries out, sitting up with the slightest pout on his lips while panting. His brows furrowed in confusion as to why you stopped right before he came.

"Oh lovie, want you to cum in me. Not in my hand, pretty boy," you crawl to rest on his lap, skirt hiking up on your own. He rests his hands on them, pushing up your skirt even further with every inch he slowly slides his hands up.

"Off, wanna see you," he sounds so needy and desperate, wanting to feel your skin against his own. Tugging at the edge of your skirt before wandering to the buttons on the side, popping them out of place so easily.

You quickly undo your tie, flinging it to an unknown corner to be hunted down later. Slowly you unbutton your shirt, revealing the red lace bra underneath. James's eyes practically bulge out of his head at the sight, letting out a shaky breath and groaning. One hand abandoning your thighs in favor of helping you out of your shirt while he sits up just enough to nip at your bottom lip. You reach back and unclasp the lace lined undergarment, sliding it off.

He starts to pepper kisses down the column of your neck, ghosting over your collarbone and down your chest. Stopping to suck on one of your nipples, circling it with his tongue and looking up at you with wide eyes. His hand drifts to your back, going up to your shoulders and drags his blunt nails down the length of your spine. Sending shivers and another wave of slick to your already flooded panties. Wet enough you're surprised it hasn't leaked onto James's cock.

"Enough, wanna feel you in me now," you tug him off of your chest by a tight grip of his pretty curls, tossing him onto his back and on the bed. Looking into his eyes for a moment, trying to find any hesitation that he didn't want this or you but finding only pure lust.

You lift up your skirt, revealing the red cotton panties and the dark patch your slicks made. Biting your lip as you straddle him on your knees, reaching down to stroke his throbbing member before rubbing his weeping tip along your entrance. Grazing your clit ever so slightly before nudging him between your lips and slowly starting to sink onto him, leaving no gap between your hips.

Sitting still for a moment, adjusting to the stretch and watching James's face at the feeling. His lips hanging open and brows scrunched together at the new but very welcomed feeling.

"S'tight, s'fuckin warm too. Never wanna leave, gonna stay in you f'ever," he groans out, stomach muscles tightening at the thought of having to pull out. He grips your hips, keeping you from moving. Your own hands splay out on his rapidly rising chest, heart thumping against your fingers and only speeding up when you shift.

"Can I move now? Gonna feel even better then, promise," you nod, hoping it'll convince him to loosen his grip even the tiniest bit. James opens his eyes slightly, raking his eyes over your form glistening with sweat. Chest rising with every breath. He licks his lips, wetting them for a moment.

"Y-yes, please," joined with a quick nod.

You start to roll your hips ever so slightly, closing your own eyes at how big you notice James is. The stretch feels so good, nothing like anything you've ever felt before. Gulping down the sounds that try to claw their way out of your throat and mouth, not expecting such subtle motions to pull any sound out of you.

Slowly you start to lift your hips, almost pulling off of his cock all the way before slamming back down and repeating. Speeding up as you dig your nails into James's chest, no doubt to leave marks in the morning. Skin against skin filling the room, as well as the sound of your slick. You begin to bounce on him, needing more. More of James, more of the way his cock is filling you perfectly and ruining you for anybody else. Your walls moulding to him and sucking him in, never wanting to pull away but keep him in your warmth forever.

"So fucking big, feel so good," comes out as a breathless moan, unable to shove your noises down and hide them as you toss your head back. The knot in your stomach tightening, forcing you to clench around his cock. Pulling a stuttered moan from the dark haired boy under you.

Your tits moving in time with your own bounces, jiggling in front of his face. James leans up to capture one of them in his mouth, sucking on it hard enough there will surely be a bruise in the morning. Nibbling on it while you continue to bounce on him. Wanting nothing more than to milk him for everything he's worth, you clench around him again.

Feeling his moan be muffled by your chest and his drool making an even bigger mess than before. You reach down and rub your clit, the knot in your belly tightening until it's about to snap.

"Come on love, wanna make you feel so good and have you cum inside me," your words are enough to send the sensitive boy toppling over the edge, yourself quickly following.

Your moans mixing together just as your slick has. Ropes of warm cum coating your walls, leaking out and down his cock as you slow down until you finally stop. Leaning down as you press your head against his collarbone, heavy pants leaving you.

"O-oh, my god," a breathless chuckle comes from James, paired with a sweet grin and sleepy eyes.

His arms coming to wrap around you, tugging you as close as you can get while pressing a kiss to your sweat slick temple. The room silent but filled with the scent of sex. Both of your chests heaving, as he starts to slowly rub your back.

[johnismyreason]

I don't know if you're taking requests but your smut with Michael and virgin reader was MINDBLOWING and perfect and I wonder would you write a thing like that with Tommy, too? If not it's fine of course ;)

I kinda have an oneshot already like that, but here’s a little extra ;)

warnings: virgin reader, smutt (minors don't interact!), fingering, fluff.

The first time you saw Michael, it was in a club in London, your girlfriends dragged you in. They’ve been insisting since you were the only one left who never got drunk before turning 20 years old. And even though you assured them that you could have fun without drinking, you followed them and got drunk. The night was crazy and the drinks flowing. You looked for a partner to dance with and you saw him. Starring at you. And all of a sudden, everything went quiet around you. His piercing eyes sobered you up as you walked towards him.

“H-hello” you stammered.

“Good evening” he respond much more confident than you, taking your hand in his to lightly kiss the top of it. You watched him in awe, feeling little tickles where he lingered his lips on your hand.

“D’you want to dance ? With m-me ?” you managed to say.

“With pleasure”. He led you to the dance floor, pushing away all of the other dancers.

He stood before you and gently pulled you against him with his hand on your back. With his other palm on yours, he started spinning you two delicately, taking his time.

“What’s your name ?” he asked, his hot breath fanning your lips.

“Oh yes, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself... I-I’m Y/N” you felt your cheeks heating up, and you wished he wouldn’t see it.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Michael” he smiled.

“Michael” you repeated as if you wanted to imbibe it. You felt his body stiffening lightly.

“I like the sound of my name on your lips”. If your cheeks were not already pink, now they were definitely red. You both continued to dance while starring at each other, and smiling and feeling your heartbeats grow faster the more the other was talking.

“Y/N we need to go !” one of your friend interrupted.

“What ? What’s happening ?” you panicked.

“Mary is too drunk, she’s starting to go insane ! Let’s go !” she started to pull on your hand, as you reached for Michael’s.

“I’m so sorry-”

“It’s alright love, where do you live ?” he hastened to ask, seeing you slowly walked away, dragged by your friend.

“I just moved to Birmingham, find me !” you responded as you let go of his hand.

“I will” Michael muttered to himself. And he did. A couple of days later, he found you in your favourite boutique, shopping for a new pair of gloves. That’s when you knew that you both had something special.

Now it’s been eight months that you are in a relationship and everything was perfect. Well, almost. You never had sex with him. Or with anyone else actually. You keep pushing this moment because you feel too different from Michael. You know what he and his family do for a living, and even though it doesn’t scare you, you still feel like you come from two completely different worlds. So you thought that once you two will make love, he’ll go. Yes, it is silly, because if it was the case, Michael would have never stayed this long with you, and he would never say the sweetest things he says to you everyday, that make you feel loved and special.

But tonight was a big night. It was his birthday and you finally built yourself up to talk to him and maybe, if he agrees, have sex. You put your nicest gown - actually the one he bought you on your birthday - and joined him in the living room, where he was waited for you. Sipping on his beloved whisky, Michael turned to see you walking through the door. Suddenly, the room was more luminous, and his soul at peace, thanks to your presence.

“Y/N, darling, you look stunning” he complimented you, taking your hands in his. You smiled bright as he made you twirl to look at you.

“Happy birthday Michael” you softly said, deposing a light kiss on his lips.

“It really is” he smirked, sliding on the silk of your dress his hands on your lower back, and kissing you. “We should go, I don’t want my mum to murder us on my birthday” he chuckled and so did you.

The evening was perfect as usual. Full of champagne, good food, and excellent company. Michael never stopped touching you, wether it was by resting his hand on your thigh, or kissing your cheek, or lacing your fingers together. He simply couldn’t let you go.

The night came eventually to an end, and after wishing everybody a goodnight, Michael and you drove home. Your laughters broke the deadly silence of the house, as you climbed up to your bedroom. Michael held you in his arms kissing you.

“You looked so beautiful tonight, Y/N” he whispered against your lips, and you felt your heart beating faster. Your skin was hot and your mind going crazy. “You always look so beautiful” he continued, deposing light traces of lips on your neck, earning from you a whimper.

“Michael...” you exhaled. “I want you” he stopped his movements and looked at you in the eyes.

“What did you say ?”

Feeling suddenly very insecure you tried to brush it away “I-I don’t know, it was stupid, never mind-” you were cut by the crash of his mouth on yours and you fell for it again.

“Y/N, what did you say ?” he repeated his question. You understood that there was no reason to hide. Not in front of him.

“I s-said... I love you” you laced your arms around his neck and continued “and I want you. Like I never had you before.” You felt Michael’s heart knocking on your chest, his eyes glistening in the small lights of the room.

“I love you too, honey. Are you sure you’re ready ?” he cupped your warm face in his hands, trying to transfer all the love he has for you in his touch. And you felt it. You nodded confidently before kissing him again. This time, the kiss got heated, stronger and stronger. Hands sliding on each other body for the first time this way, discovering places they never been to.

“Did you ever touch yourself, love ?” he asked out of breath. You nodded shyly.

“Nights I couldn’t be with you... I was missing you and thinking about you, so I, um,.. tried things” Michael grunted at your confessions.

“And did you enjoy it ? What did you do ?” he attacked back your neck, sucking sensually on your sweet spot, causing you to not be able to answer for a couple of seconds.

“I-I slid my hands between my thighs and played with m-my...”

“Clit ?” he guessed. You hummed confirming it. “Um, good. Did you slid your pretty little fingers in you ?”

You shook your head no “I was too scared.”

After a few seconds, Michael cupped your face, swiping lightly your bottom lip “would you let me do that ?” exhaling a shaky breath you moaned, saying yes. “please, I need to hear it, loud and clear. Do you want me to finger you ?”

“Yes. Yes, Michael I want you to finger me. Please...” you whispered like a pray the last word.

This was all Michael needed to lead to the bed while taking off your dress and your bra. He laid you down gently, his lips never leaving your skin. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m already loosing my mind.” his hands slid past your breast after giving it a light squeeze, on your stomach, your waist and everywhere he could feel you.

He then reached your panties resting his fingers on top them. “Are you okay with this ?”

“More than okay” you moaned and he chuckled.

“If I do something wrong, I hurt you or you want to stop, tell me. Never hesitate. Do you hear me, baby ?”

“I will, but Michael I trust you.” you cupped his face and stared in his eyes with all the love you could possibly collect. He kissed you adoringly before taking off your panties, leaving you completely bare in front of him.

His fingers spread your lips and collected your wetness earning from you both moans and grunts. “Fuck, doll, I can’t wait to make this pussy mine”. Michael started to play with your clit just you can relax and realise how much of an expert he already is. You quickly turned into a moaning mess, holding onto his biceps. “That’s it, Y/N baby, let yourself go. I’m right here”

“Um, Michael,...”

“Yes, love ?” he kissed your cheek.

“You can.. can you put your fingers in me ?” you whimpered.

“Fuck, yes” slowly he guided his middle finger to your entrance and pushed inside. The feeling was odd first but than Michael started to pump delicately and it transformed in pure pleasure. “Love, you feel so warm and tight, fuck, I can’t wait to have my dick inside that pretty pussy of yours”

Michael played with both your clit and vagina in order to build your orgasm, which was quick to arrive. You felt this sensual sweetness coming, the same one you have when you were alone thinking about your lover.

“Mike, I’m gonna-” but before you could released your orgasm, Michael took his fingers away from your pussy. Confused, you looked at him with big eyes.

“Don’t worry baby, I just want to make you cum with you around my dick” he smirked. He took his clothes off, while you watched him in awe. He was magnificent. Slightly glowing because of the thin layer of sweat on his torso. He pushed his pants down, leaving him in just his underwear. “Do you want to take it off ?” he proposed. You swallowed and nodded eagerly. “Alright, come here” he chuckled.

You got closer to him on the mattress and he took your hands in his, to place them on his abs. He then let them do whatever you wanted. And what you wanted was to see him as naked as you were. So you pushed his underpants, freeing his shaft. You both stopped breathing, knowing what was coming next. Michael did the first move and leaned over you.

“We can stop if you want, darling. There’s no rush.” he whispered before kissing you. “I already had the best birthday ever” he chuckled and so did you. But your were determined (and horny).

“No I want this Michael, I want this so much” you responded pulling his face closer. He smiled and pushed you delicately on the mattress.

“You have the most beautiful body in the whole fucking world, princess” he worshipped you between kisses “I’m so fucking lucky”. Your hands wandered over his back and torso, discovering his body like you never did before.

“I think I’m getting addicted to you, Michael”

“That’s an excellent thing, darling.” he chuckled. He continued kissing before adjusting his position above you. “Are you ready ?” he locked his eyes on your and waited your response.

“Yes, baby” you said in a shaky breath. Michael nodded and slowly entered you. As he grunted and you moaned, you tried to not think of the slight pain. Michael didn’t move for a few seconds to let you adjust, but you thought that with movements the pain would fade. And it did. The pleasure replaced the discomfort and all you could think about was how full you felt.

“You’re so snugged around my cock baby doll, fuck, it feels so good” Michael grunted in your ear, sending you shivers. “So tight and wet, shit”. You couldn’t respond to anything, too overwhelmed by all those new feelings. Your heart grew bigger with every thrusts Michael made. You were so happy to share this part of you with him.

“I can’t believe I’m your first one, baby. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to be your only ever.” he smirked and felt your walls clench. “Oh you like this idea don’t you naughty girl ? You want me to be yours forever uh ?”

“Yes !” you screamed finally abled to let out another sound than your moans. “B-be mine, and I’ll be -fuck- yours” his body tensed and his thrust became more frantic yet not rough, too scared to hurt you. Never the less, you felt your orgasm building in you. “Michael I’m-”

“I know love, I feel it. I feel you. Cum for me princess and be mine. Do it, I’m right here” you shut your eyes and digged your nails in the flesh of his muscular back, holding on to whatever you could. You let your pleasure wash over you, welcoming it for the first time. Your moans and whimpers pushed Michael to chase his on orgasm. He pulled out quickly but was careful not to hurt you, and started to pump himself.

“Can I cum on your stomach baby ?” he asked, his voice cracking. You nodded, eager to finally see him undone. His pumps became quicker until he released his load on you with a loud grunt. His seed landed on your belly and you jolted feeling the odd warm texture. When he finished you didn’t hesitate and collected his cum with your fingertips. Michael was panting as he watched you amazed by this new side of you. This side that was discovering what two lovers could do. You wrapped your lips around your fingers and tasted his juice. It was salty and like no other thing, but that only made you even more greedy for it. It was Michael. “You’re already starting to turn into a good girl, baby. I don’t know if it’ll be necessary for me to teach you anything” he chuckled before using his shirt to take off the rest of his cum from your body. He laid  on the bed and pulled you close to his chest.

“Thank you for being my first Michael.” you whispered drawing circles on his peck as you listened to his heartbeat calming down.

“Truly my dear, it was my pleasure” he smiled against the top of your head. “Thank you for giving me that part of you. I love you so much”

“You have all parts of me Michael, I love you too.” you lifted your head and kissed his lips tenderly.

“I’m yours, Y/N, forever. I found you, I won’t let you go” he kissed you back before you both fell asleep, your bodies tangled, forming one soul, forever.

[despair-sauce]

Kyle and Cartman's Wednesday Night Dinner

Not only was Cartman confused why Kyle wants him over for dinner, he's confused why Kyle's mom is allowing him to come over at all.

Sighing, Cartman gets up off his bed and goes downstairs to look for his mom. "Aye Mom I'm going to Kyle's"

"Have a good time honey, text me if anything happens!" She yells back from the kitchen. "whatever.." he mutters to himself. "Ich liebe dich mama" he yells back. "Ich liebe dich auch, honig" she replies back.

It's quite easy being half german, sometimes the language just rolls off the tongue. And it's nice to know that his mom learned german because of her son.

With that, he's off to Kyle's. He leaves his house and looks down the street. It's almost dark out, the streetlights are going to be on soon.

Halfway through walking to Kyle's he noticed that he forgot to get his jacket. "No fucking wonder I'm shivering, it's fucking freezing out" he says to himself, kicking his ass for being stupid.

When he's in front of Kyle's house he stops and thinks to himself. 'Should I use the front door or his window?'

'I mean his mom's knows I'm coming..so'

He knocks on the front door. Just in case his mom answers the door he doesn't throw on a smug face, he patiently waits.

"Are you here to fuck my brother?"

Oh it's Ike

"Maybe. Don't you have Tricia to go fuck?"

Ike snorts and moves out of the way for Cartman to come in. "I wish. But you're here so tonight will be cool."

"Damn straight!" Cartman exclamates. "Where's Kyle?"

"Bathroom. He'll be down here in a minute or two." Ike says sitting down on the couch. He picks up his Gameboy and shows it to Cartman. "Hey I'm suck on this Mario level, can you help me?"

"Oh sure, I'm practically a god at Mario!" Cartman says excitedly, sitting next to Ike.

Four or so minutes later Kyle come downstairs and stops in his tracks. He sees Cartman being loud and obnoxious as usual but him and Ike are playing the game on Ike's Gameboy.

That there just melts his heart.

"Hey."

The two look up. Ike, who's unbothered looks back to his game but Cartman smiles back.

"Kyle! There you are, I thought you left me!" He says dramatically, getting an eye roll from Kyle. "Oh please, don't be so dramatic."

Kyle sits down on the other side of Cartman and the two watch Ike play his game.

'It's oddly adorable how invested Cartman is with this' Kyle thinks to himself.

It took a couple deaths, but he finally completed the level. "Yes! Thanks dude," Ike says getting up and turning this Gameboy off.

"No problem dude. Let me remind you again. The big coins can give you keys, and before every level, check for a dev exit."

Ike nods and goes into the kitchen, presumably where their mom is.

Now it's just Kyle and Cartman. "It's nice you and Ike are friends." "Friends? I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, but he's cool."

"He isn't a terrorist."

"No, but he's a little shit who silently likes to fuck with me."

"Huh, sounds like someone I know," Kyle says smirking. Cartman elbows him and that makes Kyle laugh. "Hey, I'm an angel!" Cartman says, pretend to be hurt by that.

Kyle, who's still smiling, rolls his eyes. "Of course you are. You're my sadistic, manipulative angel," he deadpans

Cartman caught on to one of the words Kyle said.

My

Operation tease Kyle is a go!

"Did you just say I'm yours? Awe Kyle I'm so flattered!"

"After what I just said, you only mention that??" Kyle said, face getting redder.

"Yes yes I'm manipulative and sadistic, but Kyle! I'm glad to be your angel!!" Cartman says acting all embarrassed.

Secretly he's insanely flattered by it, but of course Kyle will never know.

"Ugh, shut up," Kyle says crossing his arms. He's trying to act pissed off, but it's barely working and Cartman can see right through it.

Minutes later Sheila walks in. "bubbe go tell your brother that dinner is ready- oh! Hello Eric."

"Sheila"

Kyle gives Cartman a stern look, trying to tell him to stop giving her attitude. "Okay," he replies back to Sheila, and she returns back to the kitchen.

"Can you at least try not to give her attitude tonight? She's trying, okay?" Kyle says to Cartman. Cartman sighs.

"If by her trying you mean her starting our bitching war then yes, she's trying."

"Cartman-" Kyle says sighing. "Don't move, I'm getting Ike."

Cartman rolls his eyes, but silently waits for Kyle and Ike.

When the two come down the three walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table.

"Oh bubbe, I forgot to mention but I will not be home for the next few days, your aunt Cleo and I are going out of town" Sheila hands Kyle.

"Oh bubbe your super amazing boyfriend is gonna cuck you sometime this week then!" Cartman whispers quietly, but loud enough to where Kyle can hear, making him redder than a tomato.

"I uh- w- okay, thanks for telling me ma." Kyle says stuttering on his words. Kyle kicks Cartman's leg under the table, making him jump. "Don't call me that again, jackass."

Cartman hums amusingly, clearly enjoying the situation around him. 'Kyle's bitch mom won't be here for a whole week? Fuck yeah'

Sometime later Sheila walks back to the table with all of their plates of food and they sit down.

Cartman is more or less happy that he's here, eating dinner with Kyle's family. But some part of him is incredibly uncomfortable.

For one, he's never sit down with Sheila and eaten dinner with her before, it's a little nerve wracking....even if she's a huge bitch.

"So Eric, Kyle, how did you two become little boyfriends?"

"Ma!" Kyle says blushing, shooting daggers at his mom.

"Oh wow-" Cartman says, not fully expecting at question.

"Yeah Kyle, how did you two get together? Did you two do it yet?" Ike asks, clearly trying to rile his brother up.

"Ike-" Kyle says through his teeth.

"I'll gladly tell you! it started with your sweet sweet son kicking me in the nuts-"

One long (but vague) explanation later, his story finishes and he eyes Kyle, who has his head in his hands, looking very embarrassed.

"I hope things go well for you two, Kyle has never had the best luck with relationships," Sheila says somberly

"Ma, please stop..." Kyle says through his hands with an embarrassed voice.

"Okay bubbe I'll stop delving now. I just wanted to be part of your life."

Kyle looks back up to his mom. "I get that but this is getting a little too personal."

"Yeah because fucking around with Cartman is the most personal thing ever," Ike smirks, receiving a kick from Kyle.

"Language Ike, don't mess with your brother!" Sheila says.

She gets up and brings the four's empty plates to the sink and begins washing them.

"I'm going to my room to play Minecraft, don't come into my room." Ike says getting up and stretching.

Kyle gets up too and pats on Cartman's arm to follow him. "Ma we're going to my room."

"Don't lock the door bubbe!"

"We're not-" Kyle says before Cartman cuts him off.

"Don't worry we certainly will!" He says shoving Kyle forward. "Not" he whispers in Kyle's ear. Kyle snorts.

When they enter Kyle room, he sits on his bed and Cartman pulls out the chair next to Kyle's desk.

"Tonight was fun!"

"Tonight was embarrassing!"

"Oh come on Kyle! Nobody fought and now your mom semi sorta probably respects me!" Cartman says, throwing his hands up in the air.

"She does respect you," Kyle starts. "But did you really have to tell her everything?"

"I didn't tell her everything!"

"Almost everything then!"

"What's so bad about her knowing about us?" Cartman asks.

It was so casual but Kyle can almost hear a sadness in his voice, so he softens his word choices.

"Nothing. It's just- it's my mom. She's overbearing and she'll be asking me everything about anything now."

"I'd rather have that then what I've got now." Cartman says, shrugging. "What do you mean?" Kyle asks, leaning his arms on his legs.

"My mom kind of already knew I had a thing for you when I was younger, but she never says anything about it. It's cool in retrospect, but I'm kind of jealous you have a mom who cares enough to be annoying about it," Cartman says. He honestly didn't mean to say too much, but it just came out.

"Well...if you stick around long enough maybe she'll be annoying with you about it too," Kyle says slyly. Big mistake though.

Cartman blushes. "Wait did you-"

"Don't read into it," Kyle immediately says.

'Holy fucking shit Kyle wants to marry me' Cartman thinks to himself. He doesn't exactly know why, but thinking that made his heart race. 'Oh I am so going to take your v card soon-'

"I have a question though."

"What?" Cartman asks, still looking at Kyle.

"Why did you start off saying I started our fight first?"

"Huh?"

"In the rec room. I kicked your balls because you were choking me."

"Now why would I tell your mother I almost killed her sweet adorable son? That's not very sneak 100 of me Kyle."

"Sneak 100?" Kyle asks himself. But truthfully he is right, telling his mom something like that will not entirely be a good thing. "Also you didn't almost kill me, you wouldn't let yourself do that."

"Oh yeah?" Cartman asks, smirking. "What makes you think that?"

"You think you're the biggest badass in the world, but you're just a dramatic showstopper whose a huge dork." Kyle says getting up and wrapping his arms around the back of Cartman's neck. Kyle whispers. "You know I can see through your 'dangerous bad boy' facade, right?"

Cartman shudders. He can feel Kyle's warm breath of his neck. "It's not a...facade" he tries to say but he's honestly trying to not get a boner from how deep Kyle's voice is getting.

"Please, you just have an anger problem, but don't worry, normal boring guys aren't my type anyways," Kyle breaths lowly, making Cartman breath heavier.

"Ah fuck-" Cartman quietly yelps out. Kyle started to bite on his neck, making him moan out.

'Has Kyle's teeth gotten sharper since last time??' he thinks to himself.

Kyle let's go of his neck and turns Cartman to face him. just then he kisses him, holding onto the sides on his face.

Long story lived short when just after that they heard a loud banging on Kyle's door.

Kyle wasn't really startled by it, he was used to his mom or Ike banging on his door, but Cartman jumped, making Kyle snort at him.

"Shut up" Cartman mutters. Kyle walks to his door and his mom is at his door. "What ma?"

"Eric your mother called she wanted to know if you were coming home soon," She said aloud.

"Ah sh- heck uh- I'll text her, thanks," he says back. She nods and leaves.

Cartman pulls out his phone and texts his mom back.

"So?" Kyle asks

"So?" Cartman asks back.

"You going home?"

"Not yet, I told Kenny I'd go get him a bottle of jack and bourbon tonight." He responds.

"...Can I come?"

Cartman almost got whiplash. "I beg your pardon?"

Kyle tried not to eye roll from Cartman's questioning. "Is there a reason I should not come?"

"No of course not, but uh...why do you?" Cartman asks, clearly confused why Kyle of all people wants to ride with him to Denver to pick up alcohol from a guy in the hood.

"Because I don't want to he here right now, and you're life is so different from mine, I wanna know what it's like, you know?" Kyle replies back.

"Wow that is....so goddamn gay."

"Cartman!"

"I'm kidding uh yeah you can come. Just don't leave my side alright? I don't want nothing to happen to you," Cartman says wearily.

"Okay." Kyle responds.

"Alright then, let's get moving."