#in college i literally have to have my legal name in all my accounts and they'll still at least call me my preferred one??

[chaoticwholesome]

fascinated by the fact that i have changed all my work info (email slack etc) to reflect my preferred name and they're just... seeing it on their screens and still calling me my legal name anyway?? hello??? can anyone hear me????

[piece-of-the-pie-if]

dunno if you've already answered this but they're about to graduate, so what are the ros plans and dreams? do they all want to go to college? if so, which ones are they aiming for? what subjects? or jump straight into a job? travel around a bit? i'm just curious about these characters, i love them lol

i love questions that make me think ! this one's a bit long, and I gave you a lil bonus at the end, but thank you for your interest in my babies <3 I twirl them around in my head like a microwave !

Dylan──artist! artist! artist!! mainly sculpture work but also trad painting and murals!

Dyl has quite a hard time in school to begin with so the thought of going on to do more school literally seems like torture to them. They already have a small commission based business with their art (mainly portraits but they've had some murals and two sculptures!) so all they'd really need would be a boost in outreach. Dylan might be persuaded to take community college classes for specific types of art if only for the experience and the qualifications but scholarly college/university? nuh uh no way!

Shay──head empty, no thoughts??? he's struggling to see sense in American colleges or universities... Not that English ones were any better... He keeps pushing the thought of it off but he knows in his heart that it won't be for him... but what else is there?

What is he... good at? He's good at maths, he guesses... Video games??... Making his friends laugh, helping strangers smile... Quite honestly I can see Shay stumbling is way into YouTube or TikTok stardom just by being himself! He's naturally charming (in a heartwarming way not a flirty way) and very entertaining. Lmao if C ropes him in to their gap year travel plans he'd be down for it─he doesn't really have a yearning for travel but spending time with his friends on what is essentially an extended vacation (which turns into a learning and helping experience he really enjoys) he's so down for it! Our boy's just a bit lost and clueless right now </3

Kinsley──her mother demands university classes in law... but her mama would've told her to follow her heart, right?

Kinsley has... Expectations... placed upon her. For her to go to university and double major in law and business so she has a choice in which avenue of the family she wants to continue with... And she might take on the business classes but not for law or accounting... She remembers when she was younger, when her mama was still alive (when her mother still cared) and they attended a fashion show─a runway─and she was... mesmerised. Kinsley doesn't know if she wants to design clothes or rooms or what but she does know that following her mother's path is slowly killing her... she just doesn't know if she had the strength to disobey.

J──if J could never work a day in their life they'd be just fine! Certainly not in law or politics, just to spite their mother they'd be a stripper!! (In reality J is very good with engineering and would do well with cars and motorbikes! The dream of all dreams is to actually design one under their name!)

J is very good at school, they simultaneously put the work in and are also an information sponge that doesn't need to work that hard at all... That doesn't mean they want to be in school more than they legally have to be! They're stuck in a limbo situation currently, between wanting to spite their mother (who wants them to clean their act up and follow her into politics) and setting a good example for their sister, Arabella, and not completely wasting away their education... They're not going anywhere until Bells is safe for their father's eye (and wrath) and no longer under their mother's thumb but they wouldn't mind travelling (especially going back to Italy to visit family!) J might go to university for a more in depth education in motor engineering─which is what they're both good at and really into, but most of all it's something that would just kill their mother's plans and spirits so... that might be the plan after all!

Theo──something to do with music... or! Yes, the environment! Theo knows that while their parents have cast dark shadows, they would support Theo with anything they want to do─so much that they feel like they could do it all!

The thing is, most of Theo's long term dreams all need some sort of further education and they can't do them all at the same time (that and they're still kind of scared of failure and their dyslexia only adds to their anxiety) but! becoming a Horticulturist or a Conservation Scientist or a Tree Surgeon may just be worth it! And hey, if C can convince them and MC into going on a gap year to travel the world then Theo gets to help the environment and participate in different music scenes!! (A plan seems to be formulating in their brain)

bonus!

C wants to take a gap year to travel (they will rope Theo, MC and Shay into it!) and when they come back they want to use their journalistic skills for good use and either become a travel writer or something like it but local!

MC has the option of taking over the family business but their family supports them in anything they want to do!

V has the wits to become a very good bio─physicist, it's only a matter of what they're willing to do to get there that's the problem!

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

this just in: Irish loser is Sad™ because all my friends can go and do shit but not me apparently

Vent under the cut, I'm really sorry about this but I have to get it off my chest (it's nothing too serious but it is kinda long)

I'm eighteen. I've voted twice. I've finished secondary school. People my age are planning holidays and going to college and moving out and actually living life, and I feel like I'm falling behind so so much.

I don't have a bank account. I don't have a passport or any form of photo ID with a date of birth. I don't even have (or want!) a driver's licence, I will circle back to that later though.

My parents (particularly my mom) keep saying they'll help me get set up with all the above but because Mom's busy with work and Dad's really forgetful, it never gets done.

It's gotten to a point where I don't actually see a point in getting these things set up, for the following reasons:

I haven't had my name legally changed yet so everything would be set up under my deadname. Which. Fuck that.

For a bank account to make sense I would need money and I live in literally the textbook definition of "rural ass farming town" so the only jobs around that don't need experience are working in the supermarket or food service. I would, and I'm not exaggerating here, rather launch myself into a black hole than do those jobs because I've heard from my neurotypical peers how hard they are so I can only imagine how awful it would be for someone with autism like myself. My only other option is to try and get unemployment benefits but like. What would I even be spending the money on? Certainly not a house (the housing market in Ireland is literally impossible) and not a holiday either.

For a passport to make sense I would need to be able to travel, and quite aside from the No Money thing (see above) I've been fucked over by fate yet again because Mom doesn't trust me to go places on my own. She's only quite recently started letting me take the bus to a town half an hour away with friends. I don't even see the use in asking her to go on a train/plane/ferry unaccompanied because I know for a fact she'd say no. She'd say something along the lines of "we should do this together a few times first" which, understandable, but then she's so tired from work and busy with housework on the weekends that that never ends up coming to fruition. Add to that my crippling anxiety, catastrophic thinking and fear of the unknown, and I have basically conditioned myself into thinking I can never go anywhere more than a half hour's drive away without a parent.

I do not want to learn to drive. My dad keeps telling me I should because it would give me freedom, except no it wouldn't. It's not like I could use his car because he needs to go places too, and I could probably never afford my own car cause that shit is expensive as hell to run and maintain, so I really see no sense in learning. Also, I have the navigational skills of a teaspoon, so I would be basically guaranteed to get lost.

All of this has come to a point where I'm super hesitant to ask for anything because I know that either my parents will outright say no, or I'll end up chickening out because they'll remind me there's probably something I haven't thought of. (Mind, they don't often fully explain what)

And this was fine a few years ago when I had no friends and couldn't see how people actually lived their lives, but as my friends are all telling me about things they plan to do, I guess I'm having a lot of realisations.

The first time a classmate of mine said she was going on a holiday independently with some friends of hers, my first immediate thought was, "Do her parents just not care?" This would've been a little over two years ago, when I and all my class were around 16.

Now, though, I'm realising that teens going places on their own is actually NORMAL and that, big surprise, I'm once again the weird one. I told Mom about this and her response was "there's no right speed to do life at" which is right, you shouldn't do things if you don't feel ready to do them, but I don't know, something about this whole situation feels kinda wrong to me.

Here's the thing that's made me emotional today though.

The big Pride festival in Ireland is on June 29th. I wanted to go last year with my friends but Mom said no because it would be "too crowded" and "what if something goes wrong and I can't be there for you" and all that. And the worst part? She's right. It would have been very overwhelming.

Anyway this year, my friends aren't going, so even if by some miracle Mom's answer was going to change, I would feel awkward not being able to go with anyone I knew. So I'm not even gonna ask.

The way I see it, I can't move on with my life in any way as it stands. I can't release music, or publish books, or sign up to act in anything, until I get my name changed, because I do not want to be renowned under my deadname.

But I also feel like I can't change my name until I move out. My parents say they need to know where I am all the time, to the point where I once had an outing with a group of friends interrupted by a call from my father because I had left with the group from the coffee shop he'd dropped me off at, to a different shop somewhere else, two minutes' walk away.

I don't know. I feel like I have no freedom or independence and I'm genuinely unsure whether this is normal for people my age, or if it's an autism thing, or if my parents (again, particularly my mother) are being weird.

Basically what I'm wondering is

Is it healthy to be in this situation? And if not, how can I get out of it?

Again, I'm really really sorry about this, I know I don't usually get all personal on here but just. I feel weird about this and need some advice or at the very least a virtual shoulder to cry on

[heresathreebee]

Kurt Kunkle | Spree (2020) || Formal Wear // Strap-Ons

Halloween Party; 2k words; NO BETA/ SELF- EDITED, Swearing, Kurt Committed Crimes, Mentions of Medications and Side Effects, NSFW Streamer Reader, Costume Swap, Kissing, Oral (female receiving), Mommy Kink, Pet Names, Domme/Sub Dynamic, Pegging, Cock Ring, Cum Eating

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Influencer Parties always have the same outfits as Frat parties in movies– a dozen playboy bunnies, toga dudes, video game characters, half assed slashers, boring assholes in college-core or quoting movies ('I’m a homicidal maniac, they look just like everybody else'), and party city knock-offs. 

"What the hell are you supposed to be?," you ask from behind the rim of your solo cup. 

Kurt Kunkle brushes some glitter off of his dinner jacket and preens. "Bond. James Bond." 

You roll your eyes and hide a smile by taking a sip of the spiked punch. "Literally cannot believe you went as something other than the Scream killer. And no gun? What kind of spy are you?" 

Kurt shifts his feet uncomfortably. "I'm legally not allowed to hold one– not even a fake one." 

You raise your eyebrows in tandem, "noted." 

"B-but you look amazing," he stutters (and stares at your cleavage). "Let me guess… Catwoman?" 

You raise your cup and reply, "technically it's feline superheroine costume, but yes." 

"It's great, you look super hot," he says and wow he's lame at flirting but he's also super sincere about it and that's kinda doing it for you. "Do you want another drink?" 

You polish off the one in your hand and pull him into the kitchen area, avoiding the makeout sessions and shotgunners. You settle back against the counter and watch Kurt's every move as he fixes you a drink just to be on the safe side. He makes a screwdriver with almost no vodka in it, which is actually adorable. You figure either A) he doesn't want you to think he's trying to get you drunk or B) he made it how he likes it, which is confirmed when he makes one for himself the exact same way. 

“So do you come here often,” Kurt asks as he tries to lean sauvely on the counter (and getting his sleeve wet in the process). “Oh shit…” 

You laugh boisterously. “Did you really ask…? I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Um, kind of? I’ve been to Bobby’s parties before, but this will be my first Halloween party here. I’m surprised to see you without a camera in your hand.” 

This time Kurt sighs mournfully, “Yeah, I’m not allowed to do that either. Kurtsworld96 is officially dead.” 

“Aw, poor baby,” you reply with a mock pouty lip and brush some of the gel from hair slicked back hair off of his forehead. “Actually, I think I like you better without the camera. You have pretty eyes.” 

Kurt blushes and an instagram girl friend ropes you into a game of truth or dare (Kurt follows, naturally). You ignore the game for the most part and keep talking to him, learning that he is intimately familiar with your channel and it's domme content. He has to lean close to you to be heard over the occasional burst of laughter from the people actually playing the game. 

"Yeah, I like the video you did with The_Alpha_Canadian,” he says, referencing a video where you edged a gym bro for over an hour. “I wasn’t as impressed with his performance, like, if it was me, I would have been begging you to peg me.” 

Heat floods through your veins. Guys were all over your stream, accounting for 70% of your revenue– but as soon as it came to admitting they wanted you, or admitting they wanted to be dominated– suddenly the enthusiasm dries up and they all run scared. Kurt did not seem to suffer from at least saying it in confidence. 

You were going to ask him a question, but then half a dozen phone cameras with the flash on were being shoved in your face. “What?!”

“Truth or Dare, bitch!” Someone screamed. 

“Dare,” you growl, and swat at least three cameras out of your face which make the rest of them back up and turn their lights off out of fear respect. 

“Switch costumes with Melli!” 

MasochistMelli, your favorite collaborator (god, she’s a great submissive), was dressed as an angel until she wasn’t, that is. You and her are of similar physical size and you unzip the pleather bodysuit that’s been sticking to your body for hours. She laughs about exchanging sweaty clothes, and just behind her, you catch Kurt’s slack jawed expression as he gazes at your nearly nude forms. It reminds you how much you want to break him (knowing he’s either a total virgin or near enough). 

Once you finished donning the white feathery dress, halo and wings, the group starts seven minutes in heaven (because of course they do, it’s fucking faux high school in this bitch), and you drag the boy into the nearest closet to escape getting stuck with anyone else. 

"Oh hey, I–"  you interrupt him by pulling his lapels and smashing your lips to his. 

Kurt instantly sighs and cups his hands around your waist, pulling you close. He tastes like orange juice and licks what’s left of the flavored lip gloss clinging to your bottom lip. Just to tease, you nip his lip and suck a quick hickey into his neck. 

Kurt swears softly and his grip on your body gets tighter. “This doesn’t have to be just seven minutes, right? I mean, I’m cool with doing this the entire night if you are…” 

Chuckling, you lean back so you can look at his face. “Did you like that little show earlier? Basically got to see me naked. Did that make you hard, Kurt?” 

The man kisses you again and hides his face in your neck and you can barely understand his words in between the hundreds of desperate kisses he peppers on your neck and chest. “Actually… I mean it would have… definitely… normally I’d be rock hard by now… if I wasn’t, you know…” 

You hold still and wait for an answer. “If you weren’t what? Gay?” 

“No,” he sighs through his nose and the air cools the tracks of saliva he’s leaving all over your skin. “It’s these stupid meds I’m on now, they kind of, I don’t know… make it hard to get hard...” 

“Oh,” you nod in understanding. “Yeah, I’ve heard of that. My condolences.” You wrap your arm around his neck and let him grope your thighs and continue to kiss every part of you he can reach. “That’s too bad, I was thinking about seeing if you wanted to do a little video together.” 

Kurt lifts his head so fast he almost hits you. “Are you for real right now? I-I… that would literally be a dream come true for me, I don’t think you understand how big I fan I am of yours!” 

“Oh, but babe, what about…?” 

Kurt’s arms encircle you almost lovingly. “If anybody can make me come, it’s going to be you.” 

Challenge accepted. 

A flight of stairs and a few irate obstacles– sorry, partiers– later, you open the trunk of your car and set up your phone’s camcorder with Kurt in tow. “Hey party people and a late happy Halloween! I hope you’re up to some very naughty things tonight. For my part, I have a very special boy here looking for a good time, which I intend to give him full force, no holds bars. Sound good, Mr. Bond?” 

Kurt’s face lights up adorably and he nods so fast he becomes a blur. “Oh me! Yes! Oh god, yes.” 

Getting Kurt hard was easy because he didn’t seem to have hard limits. Degrade him, praise him, manhandle him, finger him– he really did beg for more at every turn. He’s just the perfect little sub. 

You’ve got him on his knees and ride the flat of his tongue against your clit. “Fuck, Kurt, such a good boy. And you learn so fast, baby. Can you guys believe it?” 

You talk to your recording, still unsure if you’re going to upload this or maybe keep it for yourself. Just when you need it, Kurt slips a few of his fingers into your warm channel and he fucks you at the same rate you hump his tongue. Your orgasm approaches fast, he can hear it coming and he groans at your taste, wanting to make it come faster and succeeding. 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” your voice crescendoes until you softly keen and drench Kurt’s fingers in more slick. “That’s good, that’s good, Kurt. Stop now, baby, give me a minute.” 

Kurt rests his sweat slick forehead on your bare hip, his warm breath making you shiver in the night air. “Mommy. Please… I need you to fuck me. Please fuck me, mommy…” 

You can feel his erection brush against your calf and let him rub himself on your leg only because you know he can’t come with such little stimulation. “Okay pet. Can you stretch yourself out for me?” 

Kurt whimpers. “I’ve never done it by myself before…” 

You pet his hair back soothingly. “It’s okay baby. It’s okay…” 

…

You are strapped, camcorder propped up, car trunk open to give Kurt somewhere to bend over, and his ass thoroughly stretched and lubed. His legs are shaking from the effort not to spear himself onto the thick silicone you have been teasing his hole with. 

“Are you sure you’re ready, baby?,” you say just to be a dick. 

Kurt growls and answers you by arching his back more (but not begging, he’s been whimpering and begging for so long now, of course he’s ready!). 

“Here it comes.” You push the curved tip of the dildo passed his muscled ring and switch the vibration on. As soon as he relaxed just a tiny bit, you shoved the rest of it in fast, all six inches of it until the harness is right up against his cheeks and he’s nearly fallen to his face. Kurt yelps at the sudden movement, but as soon as he finds his footing again, he pushes back just to get it as deep as it can go. “Oh good fucking boy, Kurt! Look at you! You’re doing so well baby.” 

You can’t see his face from behind but you can imagine his jaw hanging open and the silent scream plastered on his face. “Do you want it fast and hard–” 

“Yes!” Kurt’s voice is shrill– “mommy, yes, don’t hold back…” 

As he wishes, you smirk slyly to your camera.

His back arches further when you take up a handful of his hair, the dry gel rehydrating and caking between your fingers. You use it to hold on to him as you start to thrust, keeping an even and quick tempo to ease yourself into the motion. It's not a position you are given often and it feels like such a treat and an honor to give Kurt what he wants– what he needs. 

And god, he's so vocal! You can see in the view window of your recording how red and shiny his cock and balls are, trapped to fullness by the black ring you cinched around it earlier. And when you thrust deep and smack your hips audibly against his, it twitches and begs for release. 

"Fuck baby," you reach around his hip and rip the ring off, "come if you can. I wanna see you. Will you make a mess for me, good boy?" 

Kurt whines his unintelligible answer and fucks himself back on your cock until his whole body siezes and his legs buckle under him. You quickly fist his spurting cock and milk as much white cum out of him as you can, even so far as to pinch the skin of his sack when he seems to be empty and you are instantly rewarded with a full, final jet that hits right into your front facing camera lens. 

Your laughter rings out high and satisfied as you pull your cock out and guide Kurt to rest halfway into the trunk. He's shaking like a leaf in the autumn air but so are you, so exhausted from the sex and in need of a nice warm bed. You pick up your phone and wipe the salty cum off with your tongue, getting enough to stop the video. 

"You okay there, Mr. Bond? I'm not going to have to stuff the rest of you into the trunk and dump your body somewhere, am I?" 

The man lifts his head weakly, looking like he's been through a hurricane. "Do I get the full domme experience? With the whole aftercare and cuddling?" 

You chuckle and stroke some of his hair out of his eyes. "Absolutely."

Previous | Masterlist | Next: GOT Koner Body Worship

I got trapped in a 5 hour game of Aggravation (a real board game by the way lol) it was a lot if fun but it was midnight before I was freed from it lol) thats why this was late

[gloombeauty]

Taylor Swift threatens to sue student who tracks her private jet

i thought this was weird. she should sue company who puts her flying infor online for public then a poor kid who gets it from the public website. he doesnt have money for lawyers. taylor isnt so nice is she????

I remember this same kid pissing off Elon Musk for doing the same thing to him. He was allegedly trying to escape Grimes lawyers subpoena's for child support and visitation. Grimes was able to track down and find Elon by using this college kid's flight page. Elon tried suing this kid and lost in court. Now here comes Taylor Swift trying to do the same.

She's not going to win either.

What this smart college kid is doing is not illegal. I understand Taylor has crazy stalkers but hey, her entire fanbase is fucking crazy so...

I understand her concerns for stalking, but this kid is not stalking her. Her flight schedule is literally public records just as court cases.

This kid (who's name is Jack Sweeny) hired lawyers to take care of him again.

Once again, Taylor using her power, legal team and resources - even if there’s no legitimate legal case - to financially ruin Jack Sweeny, a college kid with no real money. I hope he counter sues her for defamation and slander. It's very defamatory for her to call him a stalker when he isn't one. Her private jet flights are all public record. Honestly, his counter suit will be far stronger then what she's trying to pull. At the very least, I hope the judge makes her pay his legal fees. I also wonder if this kid lives in a state that has the anti-slapp law.

This is public information. He isn't doing anything illegal. His work is helping keep track of billionaires as they go about destroying our planet with their massive carbon footprint.

Also, I don't see anyone bringing up the safety of a college student who does not have Taylor's money or security. We all know how crazy Taylor Swift's fans are. Look at what they did to Olivia Rodrigo and Scooter Braun. This kid is now in the firing line of Taylor's massive and mentally unhinged fanbase. The people being held to account are all public figures. In my opinion, I think the intention isn't to sue but to allegedly mobilize the worst of her fans, in a campaign against this kid, to intimidate him into stopping. Like what happened to Scooter Braun and his family. Taylor's mindless psychopath fans sent death threats to Scooter's family, including his two kids. Taylor didn't put a stop to it. Out of fear for his life as well as his family's, Scooter sold Taylor's catalogue to Shamrock Holdings for 405 million dollars in 2020. And we all know the hell she put Olivia Rodrigo through. To this day, Taylor fans are still harassing this poor girl.

Good luck suing a college kid for posting public information Taylor.

It's going to backfire on you like it did Elon Musk.

[granulesofsand]

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, active manipulation, trauma

Part of season change for my system is the shifting of frequent fronters. A portion of our programming was done in tropical, two-season environments where it was either hot and dry or hot and humid; those alters only come out when triggered. Usually the trigger is cued, but some of the higher up roles in those hierarchies find their way to front just because it’s similar to when they were called up.

One of those higher-ups is R, who is very good at getting around programs. I’m inclined to believe they’re like this by sheer luck. I was nearby while that stuff was ongoing, but only as a rug to hide the dirt under, and from what I saw of our abusers… they didn’t seem super on top of neurodivergency. I remember two of them, both already going grey 7 years ago, and both the type to tell people to pray their depression away. They must have known better to do the programming they did, but I wouldn’t be shocked either way.

So R and their whole nesting doll subsystems are around more, and some of them… know some things. They show up in the fronting zone and bring all their trauma baggage and flashbacks. Cover alters like me get wiped, but I can play tug-of-war with the information for a bit. The flashbacks vary, some are like reliving the thing and others are just a scared feeling or pain or something.

A lot of people in our life were involved in this? Adults, all of them, we don’t count other kids as abusers. And the alters having flashbacks remember a lot of info the cover fronters don’t. It’s pretty gristly stuff, too, like obviously bad torture-level gristly. I am too scared to even consider confronting the people who hurt us like that, but… R’s not. I don’t know if it was actually R who did it or just R who had a file copy, but the adults either don’t know or lie really well. We have scars and indirect pictures of the thing used in the memory we brought up, but it still sent some of us spiraling.

I feel sick, I threw up in the shower like half an hour ago, but I wanted to tell literally anyone that I remember. I don’t know if some of the effects are punishment programs, I know we have a lot of those, and I think my group has shatter programming. I wish I could just call CPS and be a ward of the state. We’re almost an adult, we have a housing deposit put down for college dorms, we have a job that pays in checks. I don’t want to see these people every day, I don’t want to go to school and pretend it’s fine, I don’t want to lie to mandated reporters. But I don’t know the names of everyone who hurt us. I don’t know if the cult was called anything, or who the other children are. I don’t have copies of the photos they took. I don’t have undeniable proof.

Even if we got away, they know which colleges we got into. We don’t have a bank account, I haven’t seen an insurance card or legal documents for us. All I have is a state ID and a copy of a birth certificate that doesn’t have the right information. They pay for our therapy, our school fees, we don’t own anything. The adults keep saying that as long as we stay, it’ll be fine. There’s so many things I don’t have answers for, and I’m terrified of being caught looking. It’s hard to feel like we can live in the sunshine.

We’ll be okay, we’re not actively being used for any intended purpose. They still say weird stuff that must be cues for what the phrases do, but it isn’t anywhere near the bad rating it could be. Our immediate family is out of the cult, and it doesn’t seem like there was enough warning to install cast-away programming. I don’t feel sick anymore, after an essay nobody asked for. We’ve survived everything so far, we will win this battle too. Survival is a shitty game, but we are undefeated.

- 🫐

[suckitsurveys]

1.) What did you do last Friday night? Do you have any plans for the upcoming Friday night? Last Friday night my friends and I danced on table tops and took too many shots and I think I kissed someone but I forgot. We also maxed out all our cards and got kicked out of the bar so then we hit the boulevard. Then we went streaking in the park followed by skinny dipping in the dark, and then had a ménage à trois. And I think we broke the law. We always say we’re gunna stop, but this Friday night, we’ll do it all again. 😂😂😂

2.) When does spring break start for you? I’m not in school or anything that has spring break.

3.) Do you have anything planned for June so far? June is literally half over. I have a few things planned here and there.

4.) What is the weather like right now? It’s 62F and kinda cloudy and hazy.

5.) What song are you listening to? I’m not listening to music.

6.) Name all the people that you talked to today. Online, through texts and in person. My husband and a handful of coworkers.

7.) Do you know anyone who self-harms? Yes.

8.) If you have a science class, who did you last talk to in that class? –

9.) What did you eat for lunch today? I haven’t even had breakfast yet, but I brought a salad.

10.) If you were president, which one would you legalize first: abortion, gay marriage or marijuana? These are all pretty much legal depending on what state you are in, so I would make them all legal throughout the US, with no way for an individual state to ban or deny any of them.

11.) What are your parents’ names and what do they do for a living? My dad, Rick, is retired and my mom, Janet, is no longer with us.

12.) Do you have any siblings? What are their names, age and grade they are in? I have an older sister, Corrina.

13.) Do you know a schizophrenic person? I did.

14.) Do you have a threewords.me account? I don’t even know what that is.

15.) Who were you last in a car with and where did you go? One of my coworkers. We went to a reception for one of the graduations that happened at the college I work with. 

16.) Aren’t you excited for the 4th season of Jersey Shore?! Oh wow.

17.) Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? If so, who is your favourite? I haven’t really watched it.

18.) Have you seen the game show “Baggage”? OMG I forgot about that show. I don’t want to pay for cable but god do I miss The Game Show Network.

19.) Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. Mark is the only one who matters. He’s my favorite person on this planet and he’s so funny and sweet and loving.

20.) Have you ever had cranberry vodka? Probably.

21.) When was the last time you felt EXTREMELY depressed? Why is that? Blah.

22.) Don’t you just want to move out of your parents’ home already? I did that.

23.) Are you friends with a Conner? Nope.

24.) Would you ever dye your hair pink? I have and I am going to again soon.

25.) Who was the last person to kiss your forehead? Mark.

[heathenical]

tumblr is for the hard things we can't admit on twitter.

5:03 - INT. BEDROOM

IN ELIZABETHAN ACCENT -

i based my whole identity on becoming a lawyer. people found in me a potential to be one from a young age, and despite the teenage filter of, you know, wanting to be anything, and i swear i wanted to be anything from a doctor to a chef to a fashion mogul to an architect, it has survived. law has survived. i accepted the future people suggested to me because i saw in it a great balance of helping people hands-on and having a livable profit off it. i hated the idea of becoming a business owner because it didn't feel right that i get to do the least amount of work and still profit off most of the products under my name despite it being manufactured by an underpaid employee so, yes, law. plus i get to choose what kind of lawyer i'd be. or what my client pays me based on whatever they have in their pockets, or bank accounts. i thought it should be somehow fulfilling. strict, difficult, casts some guilt in your soul? yes. but fulfilling. to an extent. i get to memorize and utilize the constitution in order to represent someone legally and maybe help them find justice, whatever that is. plus, i liked the typical lawyer aesthetic. it's quite powerful, don't you think? it's intimidating, but also reliable. quite the message. never liked wearing uniforms, which is why being a doctor won't fit me at all. at the very least, i get to choose a suit in accordance to my taste. i could be wearing something thrifted, the opposition might wear mugler, but if i win that's the only thing that matters. or so i thought. i guess i wanted to look at life in this organized path. i guess i wanted my future to be regal and elegant but still humane and close to the hearts of others. the idea of being confused and lost, of not having a future to hold onto, makes me anxious. i often act like i do not like organized society - religions that make you do certain things and hate on others that don't, schools that impose policies that do not include everyone, offices that look like a claustrophobic's nightmare, with little partitions for each worker, with everyone looking the same, just bland, bland, bland. but perhaps the trend with my whole life is i tend to eat the words my past self has made. i need to know the rules. i need to know the rules so i know where my limits are. i need to know that i have limits so i can function like everyone else. this is not a math analogy. but it could be. i guess in my head, what i'm afraid to admit is, that i don't think law is for me. i was just afraid of the uproar my whole family would have if i told them i do not know what i want to be. and the idea of my dreams always being indebted towards other people, i hate it. i'm realizing i never wanted anything for myself so badly that even what i consider to be something for myself, my future profession, isn't even inherently mine. it's not for me. it's for others. how deeply, deeply depressing that is to not only be a fool sacrificing your life for others, but also, not even having the capability to say it out loud. "i hate that i cannot live for myself because it's selfish." or "i hate that everything i do must have others as a priority and not my wants."

IN THE VOICE OF MILA KUNIS -

college is a weird place. but maybe i only get to say that because i literally major philosophy. and i've been thinking about problems high and low, from the perceptible and imperceptible, from the depths of our hearts to the abyss of the universe, from cold numbers to moral consequences. i've been able to think, and found in me no answer or solution, for everything - which is fucking hopeless, by the way. you are presented every day with problems you did not even think exist, and there you are, called out to recite. you, a small and irrelevant space dust that lives in a speck of time. you, whose existence is so low and incapable, who is bound to fail like every other person presented with the same questions before her. we'd like to think we can do and act in meaningful ways, that we can be the next protege, the next genius, the one able to contribute to something in society, a notable figure in history, but really. none of it matters. in the next century, all the people who have known you have died alongside you. you have left no legacy. the little people who remember your name, same way i remember the name of alan turing or sylvia plath or jose rizal, will only know a fraction of the life you lived, and will never understand how hard you fought for what you've achieved. and that is, if you achieve something. you're existence is basically forgotten if you aren't in the books. is that why we live? to be remembered for a theory, or a poem, or your height? that's it?

IN THE VOICE OF FLORENCE PUGH AS AMY MARCH IN LITTLE WOMEN -

i do not want to be one thing. i do not want to not have the freedom to be something else. i've always loved writing because i can be myself in it, but i can also not be myself. i can write about figures that don't exist, or i can write about hard, hard science. i can do anything with these little symbols. in paper, i get to live the life i want. i get to say anything, unhinged. the only thing limiting me along is language. the laws of communication. rules of syntax. semantics. but even then, i can always not follow them. "poppy cock in the jejemon philippines is was always carrying the politics and queens." doesn't make sense, right? same as how "the reds, the blacks and the zigzaggy lines, won't matter at all if i must die," is confusing without the context. but rhyming makes it more plausible for whoever reads it. and symbolism. AH. yes. symbolism. isn't it fun for the first time in your life, you get to decide what random words mean even when it was written by another person with different intent? could make you imagine a lazy abstract art piece. can be a road where a car crash occured. can be scars. so in the end, what i'm trying to say is, i can only wish that i had the freedom to shout, "mom, i want to become a voice actor. yes. for animated movies. or for commercial voiceovers. maybe even for siri. oh, and i want to be a scriptwriter. because, yes, it's walang katuturan. but so. is. everything. and. anything. else!"

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[bre-meister]

For the pregnancy prompts, can you do greens #12 please??

So I hope you find this as funny as I do because, quite frankly, I think this is some of my best comedic work

"It would be so fun if you name it after me!" "No, it wouldn't."

The supers of Townsville always had a close knit group of friends. Since High School it hadn’t changed or fluctuated much despite people moving away for college or work. Most of them found their way back to Townsville at some point in time. They were all older now, more mature, and at a place in their lives where most of them were thinking about starting families of their own. Everyone had to admit that Townsville had its flaws - crime and monster attacks for sure being one of those - but once you got past those minor details their hometown was actually a pretty good place to raise children. Afterall, they were all raised there and Buttercup liked to think they turned out pretty great. 

Today was a day in which the whole friend group happened to be in town with Mitch visiting his grandmother for a week or so. The man in question had been traveling around a lot lately with his new job - he refuses to tell anyone what said business is but promises that it is, at the very least, legal. 

The six supers found themselves having a nice, for once uneventful picnic with Mike, Robin, and the traveling business man himself. Of course, the conversation eventually shifted to Buttercup and her pregnancy. Mitch had been gone for most of it and was trying to catch up on the details everyone else already knew and Robin was just as eager as her sisters to pick up every new piece of information they could.

“So, do you guys have any names picked out yet?” Robin's question was simple and Buttercup had been expecting to start getting this question more often as she progressed through her pregnancy.

“Oh! It would be so fun if you name it after me!” Mitch laughed and Buttercup was slightly perturbed at the fact she couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not.

“No, it wouldn’t,” Butch’s reply was alsmot immedite, “There is no way in hell I would ever name my child after you.”

“Can you say stuff like that when you kind of sorta lived in hell?” Mike chimed in.

Brick shrugged and Boomer added a non committal I don’t see why not but the joke still made most of the group laugh.

“First off,” Buttercup cut through the lingering laughter, “don’t call my child an it. Second, Butch and I have already decided that, if they’re a boy, we’re gonna name him Bruce.”

“Ha! Pay up everyone, I was right!” 

Everyone but Butch, Buttercup, and Mitch began to dig in their pockets. Buttercup watched stunned as her little sister began collecting bills from the rest of the table.

“Were you all betting on what we would name our child?”

“Maybe,” Bubbles only barely pretended to look ashamed about what they had done.

“Um, excuse me Bubbly but I think half of that is mine.” Butch said, reaching his hand across the table for his cut of the pot.

Bubbles cheerfully handed the cash over as the others began to wine and dispute the new change in events.

“That’s not fair! He’s literally involved in deciding the name. He had an unfair advantage!” Brick seemed to take the loss the hardest.

“It’s funny you think he really had a choice.” Bubbles pointed out while she and Butch high-fived.

“Betrayed by my own wife!” For his credit, Boomer didn’t actually seem upset but more amused.

Blossom and Robin had begun to move on discussing their strategies for placing their own bets.

“I knew she liked that name even as kids but most people don’t actually name their kids something they picked out when they were five.” Blossom was put out that her reasoning had proven to be wrong.

“Well I guess what we didn’t account for was Buttercup’s stubbornness.”

“If anyone would pick a name and stick to it, it definitely would be Butters,” Mike agreed with his own wife. 

“I still can’t believe that you guys actually bet on this. Especially you!” Buttercup turned to face Butch.

The green eyed man showed no remorse. He actually looked quite pleased with himself.

“Don’t be mad, Sunshine. Look at it this way, all of our siblings and friends just graciously paid for that nice rocking chair you wanted for the nursery.”

Buttercup felt her demeanor lighten at that,

“That black one that matches the crib?”

“Why would we get any other?”

“I knew I married you for a reason.” 

Brick still seemed a bit peeved at being tricked but Buttercup’s comment did serve to lighten the mood.

“You know,” Mitch began, redirecting the conversation to its original plot, “If it’s a girl you could still name it after me. Since you don’t seem to have a name picked out.” 

“How?” Mike was genuinely interested in how Mitch was going to spin this.

“Mitch….ella? Oh! How about Mitchly? Mitchly Jojo, unique right?”

Buttercup openly gagged. 

“I think I just threw up in my mouth from simply hearing that name.”

“My daughter would be bullied, cursed even, if we wrote that on her birth certificate.”

“Besides,” Buttercup cut in, “If we have a girl Bruce works just as well as a girl's name.”

“Pay up again, losers!” Bubbles was out of her seat in seconds.

The others groaned as she began collecting even more of their money. Buttercup cleared her throat and her sister giggled before passing her half of this cut.

“What the hell!”

“Ok, that really is cheating now!”

The table was a riot of laughing and half hearted complaints. 

“Looks like we can get the matching changing table too.” Buttercup commented as she counted up her and Butch’s combined haul.

“Hell ya!”

[dirk-has-rabies]

Rabies Pride

so as some of you may have known (or dont if not hi welcome) I created rabies pride as a movement for trans autistic individuals to embrace who they are back in 2017. only a handful (maybe 30 ppl) used it and then one day a kid named spencer (rabidloving) was memed on after one of his OBVIOUSLY SATIRE posts about wanting rabies and being rabiessexual went viral. this completely derailed my movement and destroyed all the foothold it had because people would rather make fun of a mentally ill child who finds comfort in something “strange” than take a step back and let people cope how they wish with satire posts about themselves. (sorry for the petty im still so mad about what happened with him) They ended up chasing him off the website to the point where he had to change his name and make his accounts private. disgusting on this websites side.

during this time ppl were making flags and memes and at first they were playful and nice and ppl could still use rabiosexual and rabies pride in a bit of a similar way as my original definition as they used it to basically mean that they were proud of being someone who was “feral” or highenergy. but even then most the memes were laughing AT the ppl using it and not WITH as most of us thought. 

so here is the original definition and background of rabies pride that i created:

Rabies pride is for Autistic Trans ppl. Its for all the people that were treated like animals, treated like they were contagious or had a deadly disease by classmates/siblings/anyone just for being “too loud” “too hyper” “too close” “too much” due to having autism and being openly trans. for all the people that cant be taken seriously due to things they cant control and where born with. Rabies pride is a movement to accept yourself and find others just like you who agree that you shouldnt have to act like a “normal person” to be able to be yourself. We believe that you are perfect as you and however you grow or expand or learn or love is perfect for you and it doesnt matter how others feel about your identity or brain or self. THATS what Rabies Pride is about. so think twice next time you make a meme about it or make fun of someone using it.

The background of it was back in 2017 a couple of friends and i in college started trying to think of a way to help ourselves feel safer as ourselves and not be ashamed of who we couldnt help being. now most of us were furries and all of us were autistic and trans using cosplay/fursuiting/art/alt fashion as a way of escaping the reality of our brains not matching our bodies. so one night we were all joking around and trying to thing of a movement to make for ourselves since we couldnt make a club at the community college and we thought up feral/cooties/and rabies as the names. since most of us were furries we decided on rabies pride. and it was born.

some FAQ:

Can anyone use it?

legally yes, no one is gunna call u out or stop you but it was created for autistic trans people so i would LIKE if you were both.

Does ADHD count?

yes its also nuerodivergent.

Did you create the flag?

no we also didnt have one before it was stolen so we just use the rabiosexual one in hopes we can reclaim it back from the ppl who made fun of us.

Where did you get your rabies pride merch?

its all handmade except my jacket patches which i got from this lovely old man on ebay here.

If this is the original definition why havnt i heard of it?

Because memes spread faster than the truth everytime. ppl would rather make fun of us than help us 100% of the time.

What about the strangeons deepdive?

it truthfully wasnt that deep. they just looked up the meme history and didnt even talk to anyone involved. im literally mutuals with spencer and his sister and neither of them got messaged yet they made most the video about him and he saw no money from it. again. 

[itstheimpossibledream]

Only A Play -Part 1

Word count:1297

Pairing:AU Henry & FemBlack! Reader

Warning: Angsty Drabble.smut to come (series ?)

Summary: AU Henry is rehearsing for a Broadway show but, but isn’t living up to expectations. It will be a smut series so just hold on. Request and advice always accepted. I literally haven’t thought of a name for the series yet so any suggestions are appreciated !😊

" I've never wanted anything this much before." you said looking down at your hand, feeling the pads of his fingers lightly draw your chin up until your eyes met his gaze.

" Then come with me." he bellows, blue eyes forcing their way into your memory forever.

"HOLD!" you hear from the back of the room as the lights draw up. Henry takes a step back from you,dropping his acting face and allowing a shy smile to seep across his features.The director made his way to the front of the rehearsal room, sighed to himself and dismissed everyone. " Great work today guys, thank you for your patience. Really need you to nail those beats down Henry. Important stuff.... Important stuff." You could tell he was not pleased with this particular piece, having worked with him before you noticed a stark contrast from the man who was the life of the party when you had been an assisting lead in his breakthrough play just a year prior. It would be too much to say you had started a friendship but, a work-related understanding was absolutely within reason.Steve was a solid director, who tried to be as fun as he was professional. You quickly gathered your things, and headed to the door of the studio, to find some solace in the nasty habit of smoking, you knew you should quit. But it was just one of those things that you had started in college and the stress relief of anything else legal had never been quite the same. You exhaled in annoyance, annoyance with your performance, your day, the fact that it could be so blisteringly cold in New York on a February morning. But, enjoying the feeling of laying your head against the brick wall, it was sunday morning that was the quietest it got in manhattan. You find a twinge inside yourself finally able to muster up the courage to walk home but you turn your head when you hear your name.

"Yeah- Hi, look I'm sorry for all of this my agent thought I would be a good fit for the play and I fell in love with the piece but, I really just can't seem to get anything right for him huh?" Henry awkwardly half smiled at you shifting his weight from one foot to another, digging a hole with the toe of his shoe into the snow. He had an effortless way of looking like he just left the gym.He must go regularly, you couldn’t put a finger on why that annoyed you but it did, it made you even more frustrated that this nervous,quirky hot guy routine was working.

"Well-" you began quickly inhaling a breath of cold air "you could start by being off-book. And not movie off book, like actually off book. He knows you don't know the show." you say moving your eyes up from his shoes to read his expression. You took a long drag of your cigarette,he didn't move. He seemed somehow stuck by your words.It seemed,moving the snow with his foot was becoming more of a tick.Maybe the insecurity was more genuine than you were giving it credit for.

"You know, it must be so comfy knowing you can always secure a job because of your face." You said almost laughing and tilting your head in his direction.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he snorted, he was really working on that snow cavern now.

"That means we all know you booked this job, because for some reason horny housewives can't seem to stay away from you. You have to admit your name on a marquee is guaranteed ticket sales and the producers value that over actual art anyday." you say smugly.

"Is that what you really think of me?" he asked.

"That's what I know. " you responded not missing a beat or avoiding his eye contact for a second. " Do you know the actor you beat out for this role? He's a Tony award winner, a purely brilliant performer and on top of that he's gorgeous but you beat him out. Because he's black and in America a mediocre white guy wins everytime." you stepped closer into him and continued , wondering if you were digging into him too hard.But, finally being able to say the truth you had been feeling for so long was too cathartic. "See, what I think of you doesn't matter, because I'm going to be professional, and I'm going to do my job. And I'm going to fuck you onstage infront of thousands of people everynight and none will be the wiser but, I want you to know. I want you to know that your position has not been earned and everyone knows it." you say really laying into him " So, the least you could do is act as though you cared about the project and learn your lines. Some people don't have their own homes and multi-million dollar bank accounts to go home to, for some of us this is our lives." You finish stomping out your cigarette and turn on your heels to walk away.

"I'm not as bad as you think" he says, you spin back on your heels to face him.

" You are though.” you shrug “ See I do my research, I know about your weird,sordid history with the me too movement, with having to apologize to co-stars during a sex scene. Dude-you dated a college student and then broke up with her in front of the whole world! And if you really cared about this project you would have more of an understanding of the societial implications of being in an interracial relationship to begin with. The fact the the dramaturg sent us endless links and information and you obviously had the time to read none of it doesn't bode well for you as far as not being an ass hole."

"So you think I'm an ass hole?" he whispers, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know what to think of you. I don't know what I should think of a man who admits in interviews that the best part of being an actor is the money. I mean god- do you even like it?" you scoff, knowing your face must be burning with rage at this point.

"Truthfully, no." he shrugs, the city falls exceedingly quiet as you meet his eyes and realize it must be the most honest thing he has said in a long while. Your eyes trailed back down to the hole at his feet, you chuckled to yourself. Of Course he didn't care about acting.

" I used to though-" he says,his deep baritone breaking the silence "Before I got the big jobs,that's when it was real for me. I think - I don't know the - the money and the fame, and the parties" he laughed to himself " It started becoming about more than just the art. Started becoming about being popular, being liked, gaining fans all the shit that makes you an ass hole I guess. " a smirk begins to play at the corner of his lips.

You pull your jacket sleeves further down over your hands,and see him adjust his hat to protect from the breeze. It was raw, it was honest, it was exactly what Stephen had been trying to pull out of him the entire time.

"Bring Kal." you said switching your weight to your back foot "Steve likes dogs." you shrug, stepping on your cigarette butt again before turning on your heels to leave.

You see him break into a large smile. It hadn't exactly been an ideal first two months, but with a dog in the mix at least rehearsals may be more fun.

[ringmyheart]

Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

[khaleesiofalicante]

I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)

before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"

I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.

Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.

IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF

TAVVY

TAVVY

TAVVY

DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV

I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT

“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”

“But it’s 15 in Idris!”

“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.

DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD

Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.

The warlock – not the shadowhunter.

He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.

Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.

The shadowhunter – not the warlock.

I AM SCREAMING

I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about

“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”

Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?

ARCHITECT TAVVY

SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS

SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES

“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”

“Cause they are chill?”

“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.

Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)

ANJALI IS A CENTURION

LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS

I still ship them.

“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”

Well, that was a quick change-

Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.

THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS

great now I miss Raphael

I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY

that is so thoughtful of him though...

tears.

“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.

“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.

“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”

Of course, it is. No one is surprised.

Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”

“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.

white people and their bland foods smh

“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”

As she should be

UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE

He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.

"Beautiful"

I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO

I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP

FUCKING RUMORS

I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE

“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”

There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.

But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.

YET

Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.

OH MY GOD THESE TWO

But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.

I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D

“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.

I-

same.

NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-

RAFAEL LMAO NO

"I hate her she's so annoying"

continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone

Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?

And he calls Max oblivious.

oh class started

shit

IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING

LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY

JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD

“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”

“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.

LMAO POOR DAVID

“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”

He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.

yup, that's them.

“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”

“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”

He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.

Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.

Idiots

ok, there is so much to unpack here.

DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??

These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI

“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”

“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.

“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.

of course, he is.

G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD

oh shit

oh shit

WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME

what's the rumor and who do I need to kill

He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.

what is her problem?

what the fuck

I need a minute

I need a minute to digest that

I'm so glad I closed my camera in class

what the actual fuck did she just say

tell me I'm hallucinating

times like these I wish I was Jared 19

no, because I'm actually speechless right now

Paige and Irene need therapy

OH SHE WENT THERE

“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”

THANK YOU

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON

I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him

I can't believe this

“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”

“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”

OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU

hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight

I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME

“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”

I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.

This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.

yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.

MAX IS SMOKING TOO

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

oh wait

oh they might be alec's

yeah

For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.

Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.

He kept talking about portalling people to hell.

MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!

But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.

They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.

YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.

NO MAGNUS

THAT'S IT

MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL

WE'RE DOING IT

why do we hurt others?

my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units

me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.

“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”

EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”

AS HE SHOULD

Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.

He's right though.

it'll take time. lots of it maybe.

BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.

It fucked with his mind so much.

Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS

“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”

MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER

He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.

Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.

EXACTLY

Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.

It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.

GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO

(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)

His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.

that's adorable actually.

“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”

“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”

“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”

“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.

Therapy is boring but useful so-

He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.

He needed to go back home.

UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES

I'm so proud of him for this...

I still say we kill these people.

JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE

UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF

Camilla Alvarez.

well well.

OH THEY KISSED

“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”

hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT

Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.

Rafe: OMFG WHAT

Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.

AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU

THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING

“He is hot.”

He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”

“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.

Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”

I'm liking this ship...

I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP

but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs

Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.

Rafe: ????

Dad: I hv friends thr.

Rafe: ???

Dad: Thy r watchn u.

Rafe: Creepy but okay.

HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV

THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL

Do it

MILA IS GOING TO NY!!

I like her. she's nice.

He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”

honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs

Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.

no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.

“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.

LMAO

Max and I are vertically challenged.

“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”

So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.

well-

“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.

“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.

“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”

“Dick."

I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO

When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.

There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.

There was only growth.

His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.

This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.

YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.

“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”

Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”

“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”

I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.

“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”

YES EXACTLY

“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.

“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.

“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”

affectionate sigh that's alec.

“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”

Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”

“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.

Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.

Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.

Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.

I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class

I'm so proud of him.

“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.

“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”

THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.

THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG

“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.

Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine

“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”

YES CRISTINA

“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”

What if I just strangles him

“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”

“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.

“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.

“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.

“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.

The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)

THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL

“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.

YES ANJALI

Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”

“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.

CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES

“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”

“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”

YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE

“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”

SHOW THEM, QUEEN

How did she know his birthday????

ahem

“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”

There was absolute silence then.

“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”

The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.

“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”

She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.

Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.

also, alec looking scared-

“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.

“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”

“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.

YES YES AND YES

“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.

“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”

“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”

“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”

Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️

"She hates me!"

“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”

Stupid but brave.

YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!

ANJALI WHO HURT YOU

WHO DARED TO

Names. Give me names NOW

Jaime no...please no not Jaime.

please please, please

ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...

“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”

This is such an Anjali thing to say.

OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??

me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...

BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...

UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE

see ya on Friday!!

OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.

But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!

Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!

[gammacousin]

Okay. I’m ready to real talk Black Widow. I don’t want to but as an activist there’s an obligation I have to share and educate. I nerd to forget but I suppose it shows the power of this movie if it brings something real into the light.

*Spoiler Warning. Trigger warning for everything.*

There are some things I want to say that could potentially spoil aspect of the Black Widow film. I also would advise you to skip this post if you have a darker past, if you aren’t interested in getting serious, or wish to skim by, I’m sincerely not judging! I come on here to avoid the universe as well. You do you, I totally still love you if you don’t read this and want to move onto something nerdy or more fun. This isn’t the post for you.

It’s taken me a while to process and organize my thoughts. Skip if you don’t want to hear deep, raw stories.

3

2

Okay. Nerd review first.

The level of girl power and any and all glass ceilings… There is SO much left to do. So much that needs to still be addressed. But seeing 3 women run this show: Yelena, Natasha, and Melina was an absolute joy to observe. This isn’t the end of some hard waged war, it’s the beginning and I beg you; Disney/Marvel. Please give us more of this? It’s so important for young girls to see other girls kicking butt and winning. Quick summary of nerd feelings; Losing Nat still burns. Yelena is a boss.

Okay…Real talk.

I have to get a little deeper here now. My personal story absolutely played into how I felt about this film and I wish I saw some trigger warnings about the material covered. Do I know Black Window’s story? Yes. In and out. I can read it, I can write my FF on it. However. Little to no one knows my story and so absolutely no one is to blame for not warning me. I was not expecting to come out this shook.

I’m sharing this because it’s happening now, today. In the real world. I doubt the film makers had this mind over other social issues, but after feeling like it’s irrelevant, that my pain is somehow less than, I’m realizing through my activism it’s not.

I grew up in a cult where women are not relevant. You matter up to a point. You are useful, to a point. If you’re giving 24/7, you’re not giving enough. If you’re not smiling as you’re doing cult stuff, you’re complacent. In addition to why I’m about to share, my house growing up was not a safe space which is a story for another time. So it’s a stack…this janga-ish game that eventually just comes crashing down.

My trigger started moments after the film started the handing over of the kids. When Alexei chooses the job over the welfare of the girls. Alexei put his two “daughters” in danger to save ‘face’. To put the job ahead of two children…it hit home. In the group I’m from, fathers, mothers, grandparents, siblings will absolutely choose the group over blood. You are nothing and you mean nothing if you ‘defect’. If you break a rule. If you complain. If you say ‘no’. If you put in a bad review for a leader, if you have anything bad at all to say about the organization as a whole. You can confide something deep in someone you trust and it absolutely will come back to hurt you.

The title song shook me completely. This collage of video and images of brainwashing, treating these girls like absolute objects is disgusting in itself. But when you’re raised in this other world, there’s a level of brainwashing that is absolutely unmatched. Videos, books, quizzes, 12 hour lectures, weekly meetings.

People are unified to the point where you lose your own identity. There’s a language- a literally language- words you start to misuse. Verbiage only people in the cult use. Kids of any age will watch any rated film. Frequently the themes are about obedience and or cooperation and the consequences if you do not cooperate/obey. Death is a such a common theme that either you become petrified of your own shadow, petrified of breathing wrong, or turn completely numb. In sharing these videos, the goal is to instill this fear that you will never be enough. That you will die- turn into a charred hot dog of a figure if you do not obey 8 white men - the leaders, in New York. That your friends, classmates, neighbors, family will die if they don’t believe what you do. That you’re held accountable if you can’t bring them to your side.

The song for the credits hit me. I cannot listen to it. I have no idea what it was about.

When I watched the film, I couldn’t focus at this point at gosh barely 15 minutes in. I had already checked out. I heard keywords. “Entertainers,” “I feel stupid and contagious…”

In my world, I did not matter. What mattered was, what was presented to the public. To your group. Meeting some checklist of this perfect family at any cost. You’re not an individual, you’re a number. Literally. Your records are documented by men in the back room- your actions, your track record. But ultimately? You’re part of a numeral equation reported to headquarters. And if you’re a woman, you do not have a say in how you look, dress, act or in what you say. You are as the title song says, …“Entertainers”. You smile. You do your job, and you are ‘happy’ about it. Your job is to dedicate x amount of hours cleaning the room you gather in, and in recruitment of other members…

There’s a ‘job’ in the cult called a “pioneer”. Okay. No, we might not have been trained assassins. But you are trained to manipulate emotionally. To prey on the weak. You get books, magazines, movies, speeches, lectures- you rarely get a free Saturday. Oh and the job isn’t paid. So make sure you’re working (part time because full time secular work isn’t acceptable) at a desk job (because college and getting an education is not allowed). Don’t make friends with the people who work with you, they’re out to get you. Back at the club; You answer questions like it’s some schoolastic quiz every week and quote what your reading. It’s a brainwashing tactic. If you say something enough times, you remember it. You start to believe it. You spend hours reading these things, training… Your job is to target people who have lost- and have lost a lot because they’re vulnerable. You learn to go to cemeteries, and literally stalk people who are grieving. Like Val. If you can catch someone when they’re weak, senses are dulled. They’re desperate. And you bait them with this false promise. This idea that all THEY have to do is change all that they are, join you, and they’ll see their dead loved ones again. That they are doomed if they don’t change. Most pioneers draft 2-4 people per lifetime. If you’re a great saleswoman, you can draft more into this horrific world. And I regret the hours I spent lying, torturing people. For some cult that doesn’t give two cents about me.

I 100% believed of I didn’t convince my classmates, neighbors, to join my side they would either turn me in or they would be killed by a divine being. From 2 years old I was supposedly handing out pamphlets. The doom is not a quick painless death, no. You have visuals. You have men getting up to talk in detail about what your ‘friends’ will look like as corpses. Visually descriptive to the point where I still feel a bit numb to it all. That you will have to bury their bodies after the whole divine destruction. That you will have to “clean up” the earth. You are numb- convinced- bullied to the point where you believe this is true.

If you’re hurt as MANY WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE, and you don’t have two people to testify and say they saw it- it never happened. Abuse is the norm. And if you speak up about it? You’re called a liar. Your friends cut you off. They think you’ll die along with everyone else if you put in a ‘bad review’ or leave. You’re bullied into submission and taught from a young age that you are not in control of your own decisions. You relinquish yourself under the pretense that the men you have such reverence toward are under some divine being’s control.

Your parents hurting you is acceptable. And don’t you dare speak against your father if he’s deeply involved. Don’t even think about approaching if he’s on a phone call. If you’re hit you take it- because you “deserved” it. And you smile. You shove that pain deep down. You hide the bruise, the cut lip, the depression, the bottles of pills you’re swallowing the whatever….You’re screwed if you faint, throw up, pass out, because you’ve missed a meeting. You better be dying for that to happen…

The idea that is portrayed in the movie (IMO) is that you can forgive family who hurts you. I see people forgiving Alexei and what’s her name. Look- that’s great. It’s a fun film. Alexei is funny. Here’s what I saw; it’s a toxic man- nay- father who can’t accept responsibility. He takes pride in what the girls have become- monsters. Not in who they are at their core. He has no idea who they are. And the mom has this photo album…I’m tearing up. She remembers this a certain way, a wishful thought. I’ve confronted my own mother about our past and had an album thrown at me, “We were happy. You were happy.” The fact is I was told the smile. You’re forcing this perception that everything was normal. That it’s okay to go back. (I’m not taking away Yelena’s view that everything was real to her, that’s fine for the sake of the story, and sweet. The moment between her and Alexei..fine. Milena turns and takes their side at the end, great.) The problem with how I saw this, is that’s not how the real world works. I don’t owe my parents forgiveness when I didn’t mean shit to them. When people leave the cult they’re cut off. Treated like they’re dead. I didn’t find these moments cute, I found them horrific. Hugging me, saying he’s proud of me is the toxic sh** my father would pull. Ignoring the holes in the wall, in my skull, the phony impression he gives to the rest of the group. Hugging me…after sweeping everything he did not only to me, but countless others under the rug because the cult…because 8 men in NY will protect him. Legally. Or otherwise.

I don’t need to forgive my parents. If you’ve been mistreated, you don’t owe anyone anything. They can “try” to do the right thing, that doesn’t somehow block out years of mistreatment. Years of trauma. Sheetrock only patches the surface of the broken walls. Wounds heal but some scars stay with you forever. Metaphorically or otherwise.

‘Entertainers’ was a trigger word because if you’re high enough in the ranking system you’re asked to “testify” or share a story. It’s in front of a couple thousand. It’s an “honor”. What it really is, is a three ring circus. You will only see women on the sidelines reading from the cards while only men stand at the main podium. They’re reading what they have told them to say. Stories are manipulated, cut, changed to fit a narrative that better suits the group of a couple thousand members.

Dreykov. I hate this. But I have to go there. I’m neck deep already, might as well. I think the worst part of all of it is that you can’t touch the person who made you this way. Those 6-7-8 leaders are untouchable. It doesn’t matter what you try. What legal entities, ex groups have tried. There’s a term for us and we are considered ‘mentally diseased.’ Members are told to avoid us. And in case you were curious, no, they can’t just break their nose on a table to be free- if only it were that simple. Gosh that got me. I would cut a limb, split my skull open, if it meant I could just cut a chord. It takes years of therapy and I still have nightmares. Urges to just, go. I’m OKAY. But most escapees are not. If you manage to escape with your life and don’t end it because the pressure, guilt, abuse that comes with leaving is too much. (This is sadly the fate of MANY LBGTQ+ members.)

The only hope is either the group eventually runs out of money or they’re taken down legally. Both of which are impossible since many older members will leave all they have to the group rather than to their family. It’s a complex billion dollar publishing company that plays monopoly with people’s investments, homes, and lives.

If you speak up, you’re the liar. So you cannot free your friends, who have turned on you, already cut you off, and discarded you the day you walked out and didn’t come back.

Watching Natasha, and Yelena free their sisters made me think of every woman who is stuck in this cult. For every woman, child, currently being sexually/physically abused and can’t say sh** because they literally believe god will kill them. If I say anything to them, they block me. If I expose what’s happening they will lie in court. That’s what is happening. And it’s not in the news, it’s not talked about. Because you can’t. You’re forced into silence. There’s a block. A literal legal force field that you cannot penetrate. They have their own lawyers. You can’t break into it. You’ll lose every, single, legal battle you try to fight.

Was this a decent movie? Yes. Was I expecting to share this days after release, no. I’ve been forced into silence for so long, told that people have it far worse and that I shouldn’t talk about it. But just today I saw a grown ass couple in an escapee group, talking about how one trigger word sent them into a depressive spiral. Wondering if some god damn lightening will come out of the sky and knock them dead. And we frickin struggle in silence. People will just shrug and go “oh it can’t be that bad,” while my gay best friend can’t catch an effing break. While someone else suffers at home because god wants it that way. Someone else will bury their kid today, maybe not even hold a funeral for them if they were ‘mentally diseased.’

For people like that couple I met today, like me, if you don’t just see a fun film but a darker past or maybe it’s brought up some memories for you, I’d honestly love to chat!!! Message me! I feel like for as painful as this is to hash out not too many people know about what goes on behind a group of smiling, well dressed woman who come knocking on your door. “It’s just a religion.”

I guess I didn’t realize…the criminal aspect of what happened to me. You’re so ingrained to keep quiet. To smile. To ignore, to suppress. I can smile, joke laugh, but visualizing…inadvertently seeing this mirror was so unbelievably uncomfortable. I would always rather help someone else because it takes me out of my head. Live in a bubble where I can call my trauma a ‘fantasy’. What’s real is when someone like me has a bad day? Lol! Look, my husband literally checks his phone to make sure a conversation never touches a couple hundred trigger words that will absolutely send me into the closet with a gallon of ice cream or a bottle of whiskey. I can’t imagine what someone else, what some other traumatized individual goes through. (Maybe that’s why the Bucky stuff makes me all angry She-Hulk too..)

Look, talking people ex members of this group, out of suicide is a daily endeavor to the point where it’s borderline on autopilot. But having this, I suppose, brilliant, piece of cinema turn the camera around left me raw and writhing and angry. Not for me, but for everyone else still stuck. With every year you spend in that cult, add ten more to therapy.

If you feel like me at all, you’re not alone. Not anymore. We were raised to feel alone in the world. That the universe is somehow out to get us and that’s simply not true. You don’t need the people who raised you if they were absolute shit bags. And you DO NOT have to forgive them for keeping you in that environment. Family isn’t family if they’ve hurt you. You owe them nothing. It is healthy to feel your feelings (and you and your feelings are valid. )

Anyways! I hope to be able to talk about more fun Marvel topics soon. But this felt important so thanks for listening. I’m really not hating guys, this is just…it’s heavy. And I beg you to do your research into cults and to help out where you can.

Love and light,

-M

[mishavacado]

SPN has so much spinoff potential and so much canon to work with, it's such a waste that none of it's getting used. This post is just all of my spinoff ideas, I'll apologize in advance because it is VERY long.

Wayward Sisters, obviously. There are so many possible storylines to work with, so many stories to tell. I'd really love to see some Charlie, Eileen, or Krissy Chambers cameos. I think that Charlie and Claire would get along really well (just read this post). Rowena is another character that I think could easily be worked into the canon. She could teach the girls all kinds of magic and be the fun wine aunt that spoils the girls on their birthdays. I don't think that Claire would like her very much, but, Rowena and Alex would probably get along just fine. How much I need this in my life: 1000000000000000000000000/10 when I heard that this idea had been tossed out I was so angry. Why doesn't this exist?

Men of Letters prequel that's mostly set in the bunker. This show could really expand on the canon lore and give us some more background on the Men of Letters, as well as any other similar/rival organizations that were around before the main show's time. The Men of Letters have so much story potential for a spin-off; corrupt leadership, new monsters, other organizations, expanding the MoL to outside the U.S. Episodes could be in a monster-of-the-week (MOTW) format, starting and ending with the Man of Letters the case is assigned to making notes in his journal or case file or talking about the case, as well as the overall season arcs. Episodes would be titled by their case number, i.e S1 E1 Case No. 1925-4, etc How much I need this in my life: 1000000/10, the supernatural/historical drama combo would be absolutely stunning.

A series focusing on all of the alternate timelines and universes, both the ones mentioned in the main show and ones just randomly created for an episode. There are infinite possibilities. Each episode would be in a MOTW format, but with different versions of Sam and Dean. The HunterCorp universe, Jared and Jensen from the French Mistake, a universe where their names are switched, a universe where Dean went to college and was the one with the demon blood powers, a universe where they drive a Mustang instead of the Impala, a universe where Sam isn't scared of clowns. I could go on, but I'm going to stop myself here. How much I need this in my life: 9/10 I think it would be pretty funny, but it's not my best idea.

A Bobby and Rufus spin-off where they talk about cases they worked on together or with other hunters, but the stories are told similarly to Tall Tales. It's the same story but told from different points of view depending on who's talking. I wish we'd gotten to see more of Bobby and Rufus because I think those two are hilarious and really think that this could be funny, even if it was just a web series with twenty-minute episodes. How much I need this in my life: 10/10, I love Bobby and Rufus and I think that they have a lot of interesting hunting stories to tell.

GHOSTFACERS GHOSTFACERS GHOSTFACERS. How much I need this in my life: 100000000000000000000000/10, I love the Ghostfacers. That's my whole idea.

A Jack-centric show that's almost a political drama. Jack is the ruler of heaven and is constantly being manipulated by angels, demons, and Death herself. He just wants to make an afterlife paradise, but power-hungry angels won't leave him alone. Remember that Jack is very young and trusting by nature, so there is a lot of potential for disaster if he gets goaded into doing something, like making new universes or ending existing ones. Cas is a main character and he does his best to protect Jack, but he has to be careful to not seem overprotective/like another manipulator or Jack won't trust him either. I have no idea if I'm making any sense, but shoutout to me if I am. For some reason, I've always thought that heaven would be an interesting setting for a spin-off, and those angels are pretty similar to power-hungry politicians. How much I need this in my life: 800/10, I would totally watch this.

A very short series that just destroys the canon finale. Twelve episodes, detailing the storylines that were ignored or destroyed by Carry On. E1: Rescuing Cas from the Empty and he and Dean have a long talk about their ~feelings~. They kiss, and for the first time, Dean’s mind is free of doubt about whether or not anyone could ever love all of him. E2: Eileen returns. She says nothing when she sees Dean and Cas holding hands, just raises her eyebrow and smiles knowingly. Some excellent movie night content. E3: 1 year later. Sam and Eileen’s wedding. Dean and Cas aren’t legally married, but their matching gold rings are very prominently shown. It isn’t mentioned. The wedding is almost canceled because of the rain, but with a wave of Jack’s hand the clouds disappear and the birds start to sing. E4: Sam and Eileen have moved out of the Bunker. Cas finally convinces Dean to downsize, so they find a little house in Lawrence and settle down. Cas works as a special ed teacher. Dean works as a mechanic. Miracle loves the backyard but makes sure to stay away from the beehives in the back corner. E5: Sam and Eileen’s twins, Mary and Maura, are born. Dean and Cas love their nieces, and Jack loves them too. He doesn’t know what to call himself, so they settle on Uncle and call it good. E6: Deaths. They all die old. Cas’s vessel has aged, but he can’t die, so when Dean finally passes away in his sleep, Cas scatters his ashes in the woods and disappears, ascending to heaven, to spend eternity with Dean. The closing scene is a dark screen, with the whoosh of wings and a soft “Hello, Dean.” OK. That was a long one. My apologies. How much I need this in my life: 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/10. I would reach nerdvana thirty seconds into episode one.

Another spinoff of that idea is just...Dean and Cas living a normal life. Short episodes. Cas goes to the grocery store. Dean drags Cas to a horror movie fan convention. Cas meets a roomba. How much I need this in my life: I can’t type enough zeroes to express it.

Campbell prequel that focuses on Mary and her childhood. Mary being raised as a hunter but not being allowed on hunts. Mary rushing home to finish her chemistry homework so she can help her dad track a nest of vampires moving east. Mary missing her prom to help Samuel on a hunt. Mary trying to keep her real life secret from John, a man she knows loves the parts of her he knows about. Mary always being an outsider, the kindest and most beautiful girl in her class, but so slow to trust and quick to speak that everyone is afraid to be her friend. Mary is a character that has the potential a lot more development, for twelve seasons she’s the burning martyr in every Winchester’s imagined paradise. She deserves more. How much I need this in my life: 11/10, Mary isn’t my favorite character but I would die for her.

Gabriel spin-off. That’s it, that’s the idea. How much I need this in my life: 10000000/10, Gabriel is a character that we don’t know a lot about so there are so many possible directions for a story about him to go.

Show set in the SPN universe that doesn’t really interact with the main show’s canon. It’s about two cops in the 30s that become hunters by accident. After investigating the apparent suicide of a hunter in their small town, they become enthralled by her library, filled with books about ghosts and vampires. They pour over her journals on their own time, fascinated by what they’re reading. They get to know the hunter through her writings, her accounts of her hunts and travels. Eventually, a nest of vampires settles in the town and the two put their newfound knowledge to the test. This show would just be based on canon lore, there wouldn’t be any mention of the Winchesters or other main characters, although a few MoL team-ups is definitely a possibility. The two become quite a team, tracking werewolf backs on bulletin boards in their basements and hoarding rock salt. How much I need this in my life: 89/10, I think this could be really interesting and I am a sucker for historical hunters.

Speaking of historical hunters-Samuel Colt prequel. Cowboys, vampires, cowpires. Hunting in the wild west, galloping across the prairie chasing a pack of werewolves. This show could also tell us a lot about how different types of monsters spread across the U.S. Ghosts will go anywhere people go, but what about vampires? Shapeshifters? Ghouls? What was it like to hunt without technology to help with research? The hunters in this series would be the authors of the journals that modern hunters use every day. They’re the ones that tested tracking and trapping methods. Again, no idea if this is making sense, but I think that a supernatural western would be really awesome and would expand/substantiate the canon lore. How much I need this in my life: 1000000000000000000000000000000/10, I love cowboys and I love Supernatural. This is literally the best thing that could ever happen to me.

Crowley. I want to know more about him. A series that tells us all about Fergus Roderick MacLeod, starting with when he was born in Scotland and ending with his death in All Along the Watchtower. We know that Rowena was his mother, that he was a tailor, that he sold his soul for an extra three inches ~down there~, and that he was a terrible dad. I want to know more about his childhood, about the people he made deals with, about how he became king of the crossroads and of Hell. Crowley was a very interesting character that was abused by the story. I want to know more about him. How much I need this in my life: 10000000000000000000000000000000000000/10, I really do love Crowley and I would watch this a thousand times over.

Final idea: MOTW only. No season arc, no overall storyline. New hunters every episode, from all different times, from over the world. All kinds of monsters. One episode in Victorian England, the next in 1990s Los Angeles. Very few recurring characters, if any. The recurring characters would be the Bobby Singers of the world; the lore guys that you call when you need help. Each new character has their own style, own car, own music, own personality. The show could have some a m a z i n g guest stars because they’d only appear in a few episodes. There are so many possibilities for episodes, even if they weren’t full length. How much I need this in my life: 100000/10, I love MOTW episodes and would really like to get to know the characters. It would be very easy to write one-off fanfics for this show, and also very easy to introduce this show’s characters into Supernatural’s canon.

You made it to the end!!!!!!!! That’s all I have for now. Sorry for writing so much, I just can’t stop thinking about SPN and all of the wasted stories.