#in general i accept most any pairing so long as they have the chemistry

[cto10121]

Regarding castings for R&J in general, the strangest phenomenon for me is still Ethnic!Juliet and Anglo!Romeo…like. They’re both Italian. They’re both English characters. Juliet doesn’t inherently read more ethnic nor Romeo more Anglo. Hell, Romeo is explicitly an Italian name. Yet the general tendency is for a Anglo!Romeo and EthnicLite!Juliet. Where are my hot ethnic Romeos at????

[night-dark-woods]

15, 21, 23, 24!!

THANK U ECHO this got so long oops.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmm not destiny-specific (i dont have any d2 specific gripes i dont think) & i mostly follow cool gay & trans ppl so this is much less of an issue than in the wider fandom (every so often some Main Fandom Art makes its way to me and i do a full double take) but like. i knowww they are almost all the same character model in-game but can we please get some characters who arent super skinny supermodels in here. please.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

not to sound like an edgelord but. the traveler. if we can acknowledge that the Darkness isnt ontologically Evil, i think we can (PLEASE) acknowledge that the Light isnt inherently good. and im not talking about the superpowers we get, they've (narrative team) made it quite clear that individuals choose to do what they will with based on their own morals. but the traveler is, imo, positioned as a Morally Good Agent Of The Light far more than the witness is Of The Darkness, and i think we need to talk more about the traveler's agenda!!! again, this complexity isnt completely absent from the narrative, but it doesnt feel like those interpretations are... metatextually supported igss? like zavala's frustration with the traveler leaving feels more like a very christian (as someone who was not raised religious) test of faith that zavala (and the canonical YW) have Passed and will be Rewarded.

where's tevis my best friend tevis. we need more characters with that pov. god is real god resurrected you god gave you a second chance at life with no memories of your past and a guardian angel (a "chattering oversoul," to quote toland) to tell you where to go and who deserves to die and raise you every time you fail just to throw you back into the divine crusade. like. lets talk about that a little more!!!

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

this is hard bc i am in general very willing to "yes-and" ANYTHING with a hint of chemistry or a fun dynamic. it may not compell me but if you can point out a narrative similarity btwn characters i will almost always be down. unless its one i hate ("hate" being a strong word. really its just the strongest possible apathy) bc i contain multiudes :thumbsup:.

i can't think of a pairing i started out disliking and then changed my mind about due to fandom unfortunately. the closest would be igss that i hate crow/amanda as its written in the text BUT my perhaps controversial opinion is i think transitioning could fix crow specifically the version of crow i have in my head who did not get uldren's memories back. SotL was so good for the overarching plot of d2 but so so so bad for the type of awoken-enjoyer i am & imo the like... thesis statement of what a guardian is lol!

so unfortunately i dont have an answer for this one (i dont think "i like the pretend version i made up in my head" counts as coming around on a ship lmfao), bc you can pair any two destiny women and ill be like yeah for sure! and i have curated my online space well enough that i rarely see any other kind of ship, and when i do its gay men (o14, uldren/jolyon, someone i follow is cooking something with saladin/drifter which is inspired. i love whatever is happening there) which is like cheering absently for a sports team idc about but support on principle.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

mara. its always fucking mara. literally spent an hour and a half last night rehashing d1 mara-course in a server with someone who has not read any lore. which is fine! thats a fine way to engage with the game! its a valuable perspective! but use i-statements and accept that you are coming to the table with 10% of the facts about the character.

honorable mention goes to anything about redemption arcs (and savathun specifically)- most recently that fuuucking saint killing sav repeatedly lore tab. and if you (general) cant be assed to care about evil women (skill issue, but whatever), thats also backsliding YEARS on saints characterization and i dont even care about saint!!!

so really the answer is misogyny lmfao.

[zodiactalks]

These Zodiac Signs Are The Worst Matches

Any astrology fan will be able to tell you that compatibilities are a big thing for us. Going past the usual traits, you will expect to find in a certain zodiac sign, a lot of us base some relationships decisions on the compatibilities between the signs.

So you’ll often see girls refusing to date Gemini or Scorpio men, which looks like discrimination, but at a closer look, it could also be a great deal of self-preservation. I guess we’ll never know.

However, going a bit past personal experience, there are certain matches that even astrologers can confirm are pretty much bad news. Of course, this is only taking those specific zodiac signs’ energies into account, which means that, with a supporting birth chart, these combinations could actually work in some cases.

But that’s up to personal interpretation and analysis, so let’s dive right into the matches that will probably not make it past a few months.

Taurus & Aquarius

There. I’ve said it. This is probably one of the worst possible zodiac matches. Supporting aspects could make this relationship work - for example, an Aquarius with a Taurus or Capricorn Venus and a Taurus with a Gemini moon or ascendant could actually make a decent pair.

But basing our analysis on Sun signs only, this combination is as bad as it gets. Taurus is a very home-oriented, romantic and sometimes needy sign. They are known to be stubborn, sometimes downright jealous and possessive, which does not bode well with the humanitarian, evolve-oriented, free spirit Aquarius.

They might have great conversations and, sometimes, great chemistry. But they will probably not be able to see eye to eye on the most important aspects of a relationship. Commitment might mean very different things to both of them, and Aquarius will most likely feel coddled by Taurus’s nurturing nature.

On the other hand, Taurus will feel like their needs are not being met, especially when it comes to Aquarius reaffirming their feelings, having heart to heart talks, or generally giving them the amount of love they need in order to feel secure in the relationship.

Capricorn & Libra

Yet another Earth sign - Air sign combination that’s pretty much doomed from the start; Capricorn and Libra cannot generally see eye to eye when it comes to their long time goals. Moreover, they might not be a generally great combination when it comes to their day to day lives, either.

While a Capricorn will be inclined to work hard, then spend their free time with their close ones, a Libra is a social butterfly that needs to be wined and dined, then showed off to extensive social circles.

While a Capricorn can be a true romantic and has feelings that run deeply when they do find their ones, they can also be pretty cold and not quick to jump into relationships. This does not bode well with Libra, which is a quick, airy sign that does not enjoy deep commitment from the get-go and prefers keeping their options open.

Moreover, Libra’s flirty and social nature will make them seem superficial to a Capricorn, which is a lot more conservative when it comes to relationships and prefers long-term, stable relationships over mindless flirts.

Libras won’t feel great about this arrangement, as they need to be surrounded by people to function their best. Although Libras are generally marriage-inclined and would also prefer a long-term, stable and harmonious relationship, their indecisive nature does not allow to settle on one person and try to make it work, but rather has them looking for their “one” almost continuously, while discarding failed relationships fairly quickly.

On the other end, a Capricorn will be the one to stick to their relationship through thick and thin because they just hate being wrong about people.

Scorpio & Virgo

Is anyone else getting nerdy girl & bad-boy vibes from this one, or is it just me? While that’s a completely acceptable fantasy to have, the real world seldom works in its favour. The daredevil, intense Scorpio energy does not feel its best when presented with the cold, rational demeanour of a Virgo.

A Virgo will be quick to dismiss Scorpio’s feelings, as they are very logical beings that don’t put a lot of value on emotions. On the other hand, a Scorpio is probably the most emotional sign of them all or at least part of the well-known “Cries all day” squad, alongside Cancer and Pisces.

A Scorpio will find Virgo uncaring to downright mean, as they need a lot of emotional validation and coddling, which Virgo is unable to provide. On the other hand, Virgo will probably feel overwhelmed by Scorpio’s emotional needs, which can prove pretty exhausting for such a cerebral sign. Moreover, their prefered activities will often mismatch, with Scorpio wanting to socialise and party most of the time, while Virgo will feel better by themselves, at home, or surrounded by their close friends over drinks.

A Scorpio’s wild nature will find it hard to adjust to this lifestyle, which could certainly pose some issues, even early on in their relationship.

[msbarrows]

Screenshots from playing my ongoing family. I'm currently on the... 6th generation? I think?

From an earlier post about this particular family line: It started off with Cloud Banks, who had a son, River Banks, with Michael Bell (the Creature Keeper). River eventually met and married Tank Grunt. They adopted a girl, then (cheated - this was pre-science baby) two more girls and a boy (Averie Banks, Cecelia Grunt, Ocean Tank, and West River - gave them different surnames so their descendants would have more of a mix). Ocean Tank had a hookup with Death that led to her son Damiano Tank, after which she married and had two more children (Alfred and Casey Tank). Damiano married a random Mt. Konorebi sim, Etsuko, and they had a son, Sephiroth Tank, and a daughter, Gem. They separated for a while, during which Damiano raised Seph while Etsuko raised Gem, after which they both divorced and remarried, and Etsuko had another child, Kiara Matsudo (autonomous game actions after I'd moved the two of them back in together once Seph was old enough for university).

Sephiroth changed his surname to du Ciel after becoming a vampire. Molly Prescott (his BFF from high school) helped him have a science baby, Jaxson, before she paired up with Ash Miura, while Seph went on to eventually marry a younger man, Benson, who is descended from the MacKay family line I played for a generation in StrangerVille to do the storyline there. Jaxson refers to them as the Dads and the Moms, though Ash is GNC and doesn't use gendered pronouns. (Okay yes, Jaxs is 6th gen.)

I accidentally graduated Jaxson from high school early by accepting a phone call from the high school principal (whoops). It's been long enough since I was last playing TS4 consistently that I was finding running the du Ciel household difficult; two adults, one of whom never sleeps and works from home, a teenager no longer away most of the day, and a baby, Cecelia, needing constant monitoring and help... yeah. So Jaxson took a share of the household funds and moved out to a furnished basement apartment (he could have afforded much better but I wanted to try out the lot I just built).

He got a job in manual labour on the weekends, and also went ahead and enrolled in university as a teen. I had him working on an easy two credits per week, so he had tons of free time for skills building and goofing off in between classes and work. Also had him continue going to events at the high school, so he could meet and socialize with more teens.

It was at a cheerleading rally where he met Leigh River, a football team member, who judging by the last name is a cousin of some degree to him. She seemed a bit dubious about him at first, and they don't have any particular chemistry, but he was crushing hard. They still managed to become solid friends pretty quickly, and then BFFs. They went on outings with other friends, and eventually dated, and shared their first kiss. (She's non-flirty so advancement on the romance front has been slow.)

At the end of their second date she grew up to YA status, with him only about 2/3 of the way through his own teenagehood. Gah.

They continued seeing each other as friends. He spent some time with the moms and the dads and met all six (!!!) of his half-siblings, Seph and Benson having had two more girls since he left home (Evelyn and Emilie du Ciel), and Molly & Ash also being up to three (a girl and two boys - Annabella, Patrick, and Elliot Miura). Finally he reached his own birthday and became a YA, with just a few days left before he'll finish his last semester in University!

He and Leigh went on another date; she was still single, so they're now officially boyfriend and girlfriend. She's moved in with him, and once he graduates university they'll be house hunting for a better place to live than his basement apartment.

And yup, she turned out to be a cousin; her paternal grandfather was West River, so she's 5th gen to Jaxs' 6th. I'll probably have them pick out a new surname when they marry, to differentiate them and their descendants from all the side branches of the family.

[countlessrealities]

Ship bias Blitz

Ship bias meme || Accepting !

Blitz is pretty much the opposite of my Rick and Morty muses because, while I'm a little picky with the pairings I like (it's something that applies to me in general), I do ship him with quite a few canon characters!

Blitz & Stolas: they are my faves, but I don't want to see it in canon UNLESS done properly. Which means that those two dumbasses have to sit down and talk. My fave dynamic for them is fuck buddies to friends to lovers for this reason. They need to figure out how they feel about each other (Blitzo especially) and then build up a proper romantic relationship

Blitzo & Verosika: for them, I love first and foremost the whole bitter exes kind of relationship. It's something not explored enough in medias, at least in a serious way, and they would make a great pair for it. However, ngl, I'd also love seeing them making up, at some point. So maybe going from bitter exes to friends (with benefits). Vero knows Blitzo well and she doesn't take his bullshit, she could really help him get his head out of his ass, given the chance.

Blitzo & Millie & Moxxie: They are a fun throuple! I tend to see them more as found family, tbh, but I wouldn't mind seeing Blitzo getting his spot in the Ms' relationship (even if just as a friend with benefits). Ofc, as long as this doesn't ruin their friendship and work dynamics.

Blitzo & Fizzarolli: It's canon that Blitzo had a crush on Fizz when they were younger, and it honestly makes sense. Fizz was Blitzo's only real support system back then and perhaps the person who meant the most to him (together with Tilla and Barbie Wire). I'm loving their reconciliation arc (as much as it can be built in a 20min episodes cartoon) and I really want to see them being besties again. Tho, I think that my ideal dynamic for them, more than an actual romantic ship, is a queerplatonic relationship.

RP wise I currently don't have any well developed dynamic for my Blitzo, so I'm honestly open to anything. It all boils down to what kind of chemistry the muses will develop through threads!

[godsbox-a]

the only reason was because i ( . . . ) ─ ind. sel. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 of gege akutami's jjk, anime &. manga faithful. mutuals only. a personal investigation on the decay of a heart when ❛𝙬𝙚❜ turns into 𝚒, the virtue of playing the fool, and how the road down to hell was paved with the best most selfish intentions. ( so i'm in no mood to be pointing fingers. ) maki. rules + info under the cut.

          i.     this blog is mutuals only. basic rp etiquette applies. be respectful of my time and space the same way that i expect myself to be respectful of yours.  please don't put a timer on my activity. zero tolerance for no - brainer offenses. i do keep up with every chapter update, but i'll tag / cut under a  read-more  anything referencing what hasn't been adapted to the screen yet.

          ii.     this hobby's purely for fun, but a lot of that fun for me comes out of dissecting fiction as it lays.  re : gojou's character  - it's insanely easy for fandom to oversimplify &. pigeonhole him into one of several popular interpretations : just the idiot. just the strong one. just an asshole. just a good guy. trying to balance the sum of all those parts and adding in my own thoughts and ideas is gonna be a large aspect of the content i post !

          iii.     with gojou being 28 ( 29 as of chapter 222 ) in canon, any potential shippy dynamics need to be within an amicable age range. teacher / student pairings are a strong no. other than that, if the chemistry's there, i say shoot !  note  :  comfort and connection is important to me when it comes to establishing character bonds and personal verses, and with the complexity of gojou's character in mind,  i won't be accepting multiple shipping partners for the  same  character. updated : percy's geto suguru.

high priority connections : ammonia, percy, robin ( yuuji / sukuna exclusive )

          vi.     i'm not all that likely to post starter calls, so the best way to kick-start something with me is definitely by shooting me a couple meme prompts ! please always feel welcome to continue a thread from there. having multiple threads going on is 100% okay with me !

          v.     i format posts with icons and double spaced / some colored text. i'll generally try to meet my partner's length / style. i make my graphics using my own coloring, so please be mindful  &.  don't lift any content from my blog, whether it's aesthetics / visuals, specific characterization choices that aren't explicitly canon, headcanon posts, etc. i'm completely cool with being mutuals with duplicates (solo or mm) so long as this respect is maintained and there's no competitive feelings.  thanks for reading !

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄   :    gojou satoru   𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆   :    enlightenment, realization of truth or higher perception /  to understand   𝐀𝐆𝐄   :    28, born dec 7th 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 & 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐀  :    sagittarius, temperance   𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘   :    japanese   𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑   :    cismale   𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   :    bisexual, panromantic   𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑   :    white, undercut   𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒   :    unnaturally blue   𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓   :    6'3"   𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃   :    tall and towering, naturally slim and well toned   𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   :    operational special grade sorcerer, tokyo jujutsu tech teacher   𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄   :    inherited - limitless, the six eyes   𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍   :    infinite / unlimited void   𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒   :    blithe, extroverted, good humored, perceptive, confident, protective, ethical   𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒   :    arrogant, unreliable, impulsive, contentious, irresponsible, distant   𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐒   :    became their own antithesis,  good is not soft, insufferable genius,  lonely at the top   𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒   :    noted to be physically attractive, he'd inherited the eerily illuminating blue eyes of his ancestral line, though reliably stifles this taxing facet with either a blindfold or lens too dark to see through.   𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒   : sweets ♡   𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒   :    alcohol

[absolutebl]

Hello! I am looking for a few good bl to binge!

As a gay man myself, I really like it to have truly good chemistry...some bls I watch the chemistry is ZERO and then there is not a good plotline to back it up either.

I like cute stuff...I like dark stuff...

I really liked Cherry Magic, Manner of Death, KinnPorsche, Kieta Hatsukoi, Seven Days (my first and favourite bl) , The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese (that one hurt tho).

Any recomendations?

Hello!!! (I feel you on Cornered Mouse) and I am so happy to find another Seven Days stan. 

10 GREAT Chemistry BLs to Binge right NOW!

For the gays who can sniff a fake a mile away. I notice a decided lack of Taiwan on your list. Is that intentional? Do you not like their style? You're probubly right to avoid Korea. Still a few show up on my list but let’s start with... 

JAPAN 

1. Old Fashion Cupcake (2022 - Viki)

It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said boss with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review.

Seriously GO WATCH IT, thank me later.

2. My Beautiful Man AKA Utsukushii Kare (2021 - GaGa) 

You said you didn't mind a little dark, trust me on this one: the weird obsessive stalker angst will absolutely be resolved in the best way possible. You liked Seven Days so you don’t mind some traditional yaoi nonsense. This BL has the single greatest final episode of any I have seen since... honestly I can't remember when. It's brilliant.

One of the most Japanese BLs to release in the last decade, as weird and as messed up as any 2000′s yaoi: emo af and hella warped, entirely true to itself with no attempt made to modify its POV for modern sensibilities or current BL fandom. It used seriously old school problematic and kinky tropes, like whipping boy, for a truly uncompromising piece that also manages to hit up themes of communication, consent, and self acceptance. It’s a wonderful BL but uniquely dirty and harsh, in the best possible way - Japanese cinema, uncompromising. Full review of me losing my mind. 

This show won the Grand Prix “My Best TV Award” at the 16th Galaxy Awards.

TAIWAN 

Okay so the problem with the Taiwanese stuff, in general, is not chemistry but story. They are all over the place with story. And they can go very very VERY sappy.

3. We Best Love 1 (No. 1 For You) & 2 (Fighting Mr. 2nd) (2021 - WeTV) 

Brilliant acting saved this show from a messy (pretty classically manga) narrative with a lot of angst. You have to buy in to a yaoi aesthetic with this one, accept that things move fast and occasionally confuse, but that everything will be okay. It’s the ultimate pining seme meets the ultimate tsundere uke. WBL successfully manages to combine the best elements of Korean, Thai, and Japanese BL as it exists right now. Couple that to the insane chemistry from the leads, and we have one of the greatest BLs of all time, cooking higher heat to a recipe I doubt anyone else will ever be able to replicate since only Taiwan is this flexible.

Like Seven Days I think the two parts exist together and should be watched as a pair. Unfortunately, to do so legally you need to join WeTV. I am considering doing this just to gank a clean copy of season 2, but... that’s neither here no there. You can watch season 1 for free in most territories, but you’ll need to go grey for 2 and 2 has some of the best acting and best chemistry I have EVER seen in a BL. It’s is brilliant. It’s all the leads though.  SamYu are magic, you can see why the internet lost its collective mind over them. 

4. Be Loved In House: I Do (2021 Viki) 

A cute classy office set BL with a few plot raised eyebrows, but no other concerns. ALL THE TROPES plus a general sweet softness that’s pretty rare from Taiwan, who usually prefer to go hard.

5. DNA Says Love You (2022 GaGa) 

An under appreciated gem. It’s a bit challenging to suffer through the paranormal investigators plot line, but at least it HAS a plot? When Amber enters the narrative he is so luminous it’s hard to tear your eyes away and the chemistry is on point with both couples (one LTR, one just starting out). DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The last few eps really are special and life/love affirming - and the ending is big-grin charming. Full review. 

6. HIStory 2: Crossing the Line (2018 Viki) 

Taiwan’s best example of classic BL with a sports romance foundation using some of the most prototypical (but fortunately least offensive) yaoi tropes. One of my first and still favorites from Taiwan. Kinda like the Seven Days of Taiwanese BL, everything is on point and very yaoi. (You might consider the companion piece too, Right or Wrong. It’s rougher going but very formative for BL + marriage equality.) 

7. HIStory 3: Trapped (2019 Viki) 

If you don’t mind a bit of a shaky ending, everything else about this show is good. It has great plot, fantastic characters, and really excellent chemistry form both couples. Also FINE arse suits. If you liked KinnPorsche and want more Mafia BL with high heat it’s this one, Long Time No See, and Manner of Death. 

Basically this is the definition of enemies to lovers. This is a cop + the mafia man he is chasing but WAIT: they fall in love. Added bonus side couple = assassin and nerd cop ALSO falling in love. It’s great. All the leads are stellar. Its high heat, fun action, and a bit of a mystery drama but pretty about all of it. My only warning is that the main couple doesn’t entirely end up together, it’s implied, but... amorphous ending. 

KOREA 

8. Semantic Error (2022 Viki) 

You might give this one a try. For Korea it’s some of the best chemistry the traditional studios have managed. And it is flawless BL. Truly, perfection for the genre. Korea hit it entirely out of the Parks with Semantic Error by doing a university set BL featuring everything we expect from BL just done exactly right. It has Korea's signature quality executed perfectly, and added bonus good story, great pacing, stunning visuals, and fantastic chemistry. You cannot ask for more from a BL, let alone a KBL. Full review. 

9. To My Star (2021 Viki)

It’s is a touch quirky to get into, but utterly charming once it hits its stride. This is the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. If you can wade through the dead fish kisses there is massive pay out at the end. There is a second season of PAIN, but it has more great chemistry. Up to you if you wanna wade in, but if you don’t mind messy.... (Full review includes my reservations about season 2.) 

10. Some More (2018 GaGa) 

My last pick from Korea, this one is a Strongberry short, and it is SO very gay. About a city boy on a bike tour who gets injured and rescued by a taciturn, but (as it turns out) quite gay, farmer. Age gap, country mouse/city mouse, SO CUTE. Just too short.

Some other ones that are a bit more... complex? 

These will be chewy and more work to watch, like Cornered Mouse.

Long Time No See (2017 Strongberry GaGa)  - One of Strongberry’s few longer pieces and I don’t think this is strictly BL. It’s about assassins on either side of a terf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Good fight sequences, mature characters, high heat, very suspenseful, AND an HEA. If you like KinnPorsche you will LOVE this show. 

Blueming (2022 iQIyI) - It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, (which is expected for Korea). 

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count AKA The BL That Shall Not Be Named) (2019 Viki) - Some of the best BL and best chemistry ever put on screen. Up until they move into together. Seriously, the moment they do, stop watching. Save yourself. 

Plus and Minus (2022 Viki) - There is something off bout this show that I can’t put my finger on. I liked it but... the separation is forced and it could have ben a lot shorter. Chemistry is good though. It’s about codependent besties of 20 years finding their way into a romantic relationship. A bit cheesy, with lots of domesticity and occasional dumb drama. (But gay boys and chaos bis? What can ya do?) It’s not groundbreaking but it is a solid sweet unassuming little show of a style that is perhaps a bit more Thai than it is Taiwanese but I’m okay with that. 

His the movie (2020 Viki) - His is about being a grown adult and still struggling with coming out as gay. It addresses the consequences of life choices disingenuous to identity. Nagisa turns up on Shun’s doorstep with his precocious daughter in tow. This is a touch confusing to Shun since they were each others first love. Shun has retreated from society, rejecting the world before it can reject him, already brokenhearted because without Nagisa he never had a reason to fight. Nagisa went the opposite way, tried to pretend to be something he was not and ended up with a daughter he adores and a wife who hates him. This movie is beautiful and the setting is unique and interesting but I'm not wild about the ending. Moody arthouse smackdoodle is going to pretend that "ambiguous" is somehow unique and special rather than bog standard commonplace for narratives of this type. Honestly, I think I mostly liked this because I have a mad crush on Miyazawa Hio (Shun).

The Pornographer series, specifically the first one AKA The Novelist. (2018 Viki maybe) - emotional manipulation, cheating, obsession, seduction, May/December (age gap AKA younger/older), kink, touch of necrophilia, and explicit. It’s your party you cna watch if you wanna. 

Okay, what about Thailand? 

You don’t name many from Thailand (Just KP & MoD) which is the juggernaut  of BL and this is... telling. 

Thailand can excel at chemistry, but since they are pretty married to seme/uke they aren’t very “actually” gay. If you know what I mean? Also there is a common thread, especially with the pulps, where side couples have more and better chemistry than the leads. 

That said here are a few Thai BLs with great lead pairs that you might try... 

Bad Buddy (2022 YouTube) - I would be remiss if I didn’t mention this one. This was GMMTV’s flagship BL and it started 2022 on a BANG (okay no actual banging but you know what I mean), starring heavy hitters Ohm & Nanon in a pitch perfect university Romeo & Romeo masterpiece that will give you domesticity meets pain whiplash throughout and jet lag at the end. Some of the friendship and family dynamics are overworked, but it has great production values, killer acting, and some conscious effort to correct for half a decade of Thai BL’s anti-queer mistakes. Full review.

Dark Blue Kiss (2019 YouTube) - this one is a buy in to get familiar with the characters (I have a  how to watch guide here). But PeteKao are worth it. They are an LTR, but it’s on point. This is classic Thai BL with a university setting, great acting and complex characters, one of my favorite friendship groups, friends to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers, multiple angsty af coming outs, including a long stretch of a secret relationship. High production values, good chemistry, BL side couple, not much queer rep, but lots of classic tropes and some great domesticity.

Dear Doctor, I’m Coming For Your Soul (2022 iQIYI) - This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover. Basically it’s the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service. High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just painfully beautiful. Full review.  

Love By Chance (2018 YouTube & Viki) - of all the ones I put on this list I dithered over this one the most. The physical chemistry is a little off but the emotional and romantic thread between these two is truly remarkable. And if you think of Ae as Demi, it works. I love these two so much, I might not be sufficiently objective though. (MAME warning) AePete’s meet cute is one of the best ever put on screen. They are just so genuine and soft with each other, it’s hard not to love them from the first moment. Many of the side couples are... difficult, but you can’t fault the leads. They will remain in your heart a really long time. Now there is some abusive ex action, but it’s victoriously dealt with by our tiny crass love muffin hero.

Lovely Writer (2021 YouTube) - Thailand criticizes itself and the BL industry while simultaneously giving us classic seme/uke with great chemistry in a one-two punch of “we love it, but are we supposed to? and must we think this hard, yet enjoy it SO MUCH?“ This show won’t appeal or make sense to those who don’t already have at least some Thai BL watching experience. What Lovely Writer does, at heart, is reexamine Thai BL has done to queerness, but in a very gentle way that has more to do with Thai BL growing up than any actual queer authenticity. It’s not parody or pastiche, but it is critical and self reflective and trying to correct for some chronic mistakes. Whether it is ultimately successful in this matter is going to depend on the watcher’s relationship to BL and queer identity. But that’s what makes this show beautiful, interesting, and thought provoking. And I, for one, applaud the effort even if I didn’t personally connect to the characters.

Not Me (2022 YouTube) - GMMTV gave us a dark disestablishment narrative (in a time of civil unrest) with established queer award-winning director Anucha and starring the biggest guns of BL OffGun. THIS IS AN AMAZING THING to get to experience in the BL world - nerve racking but remarkable. But was it ACTUALLY BL? It certainly a lot of BL elements, but in the end that’s not what the show was about, or even what it was genuinely trying to be as a performance piece. Still an amazing moment in Thai cinema, certainly worth your time. Don’t worry, it all ends happily. Full review. How good is OffGun’s chemistry, really? I have questions. But you still might like it. (OffGun & The Evolution of Chemistry for a BL Pair) 

6 Thai BLs you suffer through ONLY for the chemistry

Seriously not a lot else to recommend these, but they are master classes in pretty boys kissing. Linked to my reviews when possible. These are mostly on YouTube. 

Cutie Pie 

Love Mechanics (either version) 

Love Stage!!! (the THAI VERSION) 

Secret Crush On You 

Why R U? 

TharnType - honestly this is the beginning of it all, so far as chemistry in Thai BL is concerned. If you want to know how KinnPorsche could even exist in this world, blame the success of this BL and MewGulf in particular. 

I’m not putting any VBL on this list because  the stories are just so incomprehensibly bad, but if you want to try one, do Mr Cinderella. 

So far as Pinoy BL is concerned, My Day is AMAZING on chemistry but also bonkers and very difficult to get hold of these days. 

More on this subject: 

11 BLs with the BEST Chemistry - putting aside heat levels, quality of production, and story

Giving Good Kiss in BL - Defining Chemistry 

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL 

BL Age Dynamics & CHEMISTRY on screen

HIGH HEAT BL 

(source)

[donald4spiderman]

Sweating, And A Lesson On Self-Worth

masterlist

Summary: Spencer finds himself falling for his NAT (new agent training) defensive tactics coach.

Pairing: SR x Fem!Reader *described as petite to give the illusion of assumed vulnerability when IRL she’s a badass— no other specific physical details are mentioned*

Category: Fluff

TW: Mentions of body image, general CM talk, mentions of fighting/grappling/wrestling, small age gap (reader is 28 & reid is 22)

concept inspired by @sierraraeck’s fic “Bad Liar” about Morgan training Spencer. I love wrestling so I wanted to do one about a badass female combat coach/agent.

REBLOG!

-

When Spencer and the rest of the trainees are ushered into the fitness center on their second day at the academy, he almost shits himself. He’s well aware of the physical demands being in the FBI requires, and he’s been dreading the PFT (Physical Fitness Test) since he applied.

There are hundreds of men and women huddled in the middle of the room, anticipating the orientation, and Spencer feels his palms sweat before he’s even started working out. The majority of the trainees are football players, wrestling’s, and weight lifters— he can tell by their muscular build and general atmosphere of strength and confidence.

SSA Jesse Fallon introduces their defensive tactics coach for the next twenty weeks— a petite but athletic woman. She’s dressed in a gray t-shirt and flexible khaki pants— Spencer would be lying if he said she didn’t look gorgeous, even in the bland attire.

“I’m SSA and defensive tactics coach (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” She introduces herself, giving a warm smile to the crowd. “I’ve been an SSA for five years and the head coach of this portion of the academy for two. This is my third official wave of trainees— and believe me— I won’t be going easy on any of you.”

Light laughter disperses through the crowd, and Spencer wears an uneasy look on his face.

“Today, I’ve prepped stations for each of you to cycle through for the next three hours. Agent Rivera is monitoring the weapon defense; Agent Glover is in charge of the takedowns; And I’ll be handling hand-to-hand combat and grappling. You’ll spend an hour at each station, run a mile at the end, and then you’re done for the day. Sound good?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Choruses through the crowd.

SSA (Y/N) clasps her hands together, “Alright, you know your groups. Split up!”

-

Spencer’s assigned to the takedown station first. Agent Glover’s criticisms are primarily nonconstructive, and Spencer struggles with apprehending and cuffing his more robust and much more muscular partner on the floor. He’s never trained this hard for anything in his life, physically, speaking. He’s half-dead within the first hour, and he dreads having to do this two more times.

His next stop is with Agent Rivera, who’s much kinder to Spencer than his prior. Reid is better at disarming his opponent, but his long limbs flail wildly due to his incoordination— he’s trying his best, but he sees the way everyone else giggles at him. It’s a blow to the chest that leaves him defeated more than any gunshot could.

The last hour is spent working at SSA (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s station. She commands the attention of the entire group so naturally, despite being considered a rookie, she has an intimidating amount of knowledge.

“How many of you are wrestlers or judokas?” About sixty percent of the group raises their hand, and Spencer scans around for who might have the strength to kill him with one blow.

“Good,” She smiles. “This will come naturally to you, then. Now, a head-and-arm throw most likely won’t work in the field— so, sorry, judokas. However, double legs, body locks, and blast-doubles are constantly used to take down an unsub with minimal injury to the agent. Even someone as short as me can use leverage to grapple and control a much taller person.” (Y/N) scans the crowd of trainees for a moment before pointing directly at Spencer.

“You, come here.” She commands, and Spencer waddles nervously up next to her on the mat. “This is...”

He’s confused for a moment before realizing she’s asking for his name. “S-Spencer Reid.”

“Hi, Spencer.” She smiles. “How tall are you?”

“Six foot two.”

“Spencer has the advantage of almost a whole foot of height against me. But, I can use his higher center of gravity to tip him over more easily. We do this a lot in wrestling— being low to the ground and agile is important.”

(Y/N) firmly plants her hands on Spencer’s shoulder, moving him so that he’s turned to the side. “This move is called a modified blast double— it prioritizes attacking the ankles and knees rather than the knees and abdomen.”

She leans in closer to Spencer, “Don’t post your wrist out when you fall.” She whispers in his ear, sending chills down his spine. “Keep your neck tucked too.” Her breath is warm and minty, and Spencer almost forgets that he has 30 other people watching him.

“I’m going to simulate an active attack with Spencer. Doing this move in a wrestling match is much more controlled than against a rogue criminal playing by their own rules. They might have a melee or close-range weapon like a knife or hammer on them, so it’s important to make this move when the best opportunity strikes.”

“Spencer’s going to run at me and attempt to land a punch to my face.” She gives him a nod, and he chambers over to her.

Swiftly crouching lower to the ground, she launches herself towards him, gripping the back of his ankles and pushing her shoulder into his knees, and suddenly he’s flying back onto the mat. She follows through, straddling Spencer’s hips and covering his movements with an arm under his neck.

He’s out of breath as he watches the beautiful SSA leaning above him. His head is slightly sore from the impact, but overall he feels... invigorated.

“You never let your opponent fall onto the ground without covering them. Straddling your opponent allows you to keep them down while having full use of your fists.” She swings her leg off of Spencer, standing up. She reaches a hand out and quickly yanks him up.

“Find someone and drill that move. I’m coming around to help all of you.”

She gives Spencer a firm pat on his back, to which he blushes furiously, pulling his lower lip in between his teeth.

-

Spencer spent the rest of the hour getting slammed onto the mat over and over by various men and women. His entire shirt is soaked, and his breathing is so labored he thinks he’s going to faint. SSA (Y/N) (Y/L/N) might have appeared at ease earlier in the day, but she wasn’t kidding when she promised she would work them to no end. Everyone was at the brink of death when they approached the last lap of their mile— Spencer at risk of passing out more than others.

The relief he feels after completing his tenth lap around the gym is euphoric. Trainees collapse onto the ground with exhaustion all around him.

“Great job today.” SSA (Y/N) compliments happily. “I appreciate all the effort you guys showed today. It better still be here in four months.” And with that, she excuses them, along with the agents monitoring each station.

Spencer’s one of the last agents to trickle out of the gym. His legs feel like jello when he walks, and his lungs burn.

He almost makes it past the threshold of the door before his name is called.

“Dr. Reid.” She beckons him over with a finger. “May I talk to you for a moment.”

Spencer nervously shuffles over. “Yes, SSA (Y/L/N)?”

“I applaud your effort at training today. I can tell you were working hard.” He blushes. “But I’ve been informed that the board is willing to wave all physical training requirements for your acceptance into the FBI.”

“Yeah... I-I uh figured they’d want me for my IQ only.” He jokes nervously, shrugging his shoulders. He knows it’s disrespectful not to look her in the eye, but she intimidates him too much.

She laughs, and it’s a sweet, joyful sound that Spencer can’t get enough of. She’s powerful and radiant— stealing attention from everyone else. “You’re charming, and your reputation precedes you.”

Charming? Since when has little Spencer Reid ever been charming? He smiles awkwardly, looking off to the side to hide his blush.

“You know, the forensics department wants their hands on the trainee with the chemistry doctorate, and the surveillance department wants the kid with eidetic memory, and word has it that you speak more than four languages, so everyone wants their fair share.”

“W-why are you telling me this?” Spencer asks, voice shy and barely above a whisper.

“Because,” she places a tender hand on his shoulder, “You need to carry yourself with more confidence, Spencer. I saw you— surrounded by all those athletes— it made you feel out of place. I get it.”

“How d-do you get it?”

“I was 23 years old when I became an SSA, surrounded by people two decades older than me. I felt like the office secretary— constantly getting pushed around by people I was afraid to upset. But the thing is, Spencer, you need to demand respect from other people. I’m not saying you need to be arrogant or be a bully, but you are one of— if not the most promising agent trainee— and you need to realize your self-worth.”

“I’m smart, I-I know that. But I’m not strong or athletic by any means.” He sighs, gripping the duffle bag slung across his shoulder tightly.

“That’s alright. You’re not going to be Kyle Dake overnight. But you can’t beat yourself up about it.” (Y/N) chuckles lightly.

Spencer thinks for a moment, “T-thank you... for uh saying all those nice things about me.”

“They're true.” She nods.

“I think I’ll continue with the defensive tactics training. I could um use it.” Its partially true, but he’s most inclined to stick around because of the kind and beautiful SSA that’ll be training him.

“Yay! That’s great, Spencer.” She cheers, wrapping him in a hug that’s a little too friendly to be professional. He accepts despite being drenched in sweat.

Her arms are wrapped tightly around Spencer, and she pats him on the back twice before pulling away like a proud mentor would. He can’t decide if (Y/N) would be a better girlfriend or a better teacher. If she would, he’d prefer for her to be both. He’d give her all he had to offer if she’d allow him.

He doesn’t recognize the smile that plays on her lips, and it’s a foreign feeling for the aggressive and focused SSA. She hasn’t felt something like this in a while, especially not for a nerdy trainee named Dr. Spencer Reid.

“Hit the showers.” She teases. “You stink.”

Spencer nods furiously, “Y-yeah, of course. Thank you, again, SSA—“

“Just call me (Y/N).”

“T-thank you, (Y/N).” He smiles, scurrying out of the gym and into the hallway as giddy as ever.

(Y/N) knows she can’t pursue this— at least, not right now. She’ll give it a few years to let him settle in the FBI (his acceptance is inevitable) if she can be patient for that long. All she knows is that eventually, she wants the awkwardly adorable boy to be hers— and she wants to be his.

i’m so proud of this fic but sry i got carried away talking about wrestling i love it sm

[iamnightduchess]

Kiss Me More #03

A/N: This post is dedicated to the wonderful @xrocketmanx Please accept my heartfelt appreciation for the thoughtful remembrance, kind wishes & a generous tip on ko-fi for my birthday last November 💖 I know that you told me to take my time with this, but hilariously, I can't afford to take time when I have none 😢 Many, many, many 💯 apologies for this super extremely delayed post (I've had this in my drafts for more than 2 months!) but I hope this would still bring a smile to your face 😽 Thank you for always supporting my works!

A belated Happy New Year!! 🎁

---------

"Crush"

Pt.01 | Pt.02

Pairing: Reiner x Mikasa (ReiKasa)

Universe: SnK Highschool Caste AU

(Feat. Quarterback!Reiner & Goth!Mikasa)

Trope: New Light

Summary: Ever since their unexpected movie date together, they both begin to see each other in a new light. From sneaking things into each other's desks or lockers to becoming stealthy supporter in each other's after school club activities, a new crush is dawning on their horizons. That crush would sooner become a refreshing distraction to the gothic wallflower when a disturbing gossip broke not only the school's internet, but also their hearts.

🍫💿🏈🎭 + 💔💔=💓💓💓-->❤?

Rhythmic Muse: Crush by David Archuleta

Mikasa is a person with a very specific routine. She had to make sure that everything was done on time and in place. That includes her stationeries, textbook, notebook and water bottle - everything needed to be in its designated place on her study space in the classroom. Nothing more, nothing less. Except that day, she discovered there was something extra which somehow had mysteriously found itself inside her class drawer.

At first she thought she might have sat at someone else's place but the tiny carved 'A'-shaped symbol at the corner of the table's surface proved that it was indeed her desk. That symbol made the other students assumed that she's an anarchist supporter when in fact, it is the ancient family emblem form her mother's side.

She retrieved the neatly-wrapped rectangle-shaped item and read the attached note.

I was at the store the other day and saw this. I remembered at the diner on how much you said you've missed them because they're so hard to find here. -R.B

She gently undo the paper wrapping of the item and marvelled as she took in the view of a Charleston Chew bar - chocolate flavour, her most favourite. She couldn't help but beam in happiness, she could almost jump on the spot even! It has been too long since she last saw one, not since the day she left Hizuru.

She didn't expect him to have even paid any attention to their conversation, at the diner or during the whole car ride there after their movie outing together. Well, she wasn't used to it at all, not when every topic she ever tried to talk to Eren seems to mostly fell on deaf ears while with Armin, it's always the boy who initiates conversation more. She immediately turned her head towards where the school quarterback's seat would be and Reiner had already sent a short stealthy salute her way, waving away any potential doubt by mouthing, 'It's no big deal.'

Mikasa immediately marched towards the older boy's desk and shook her head. "I can't accept this. You should have it back."

Reiner shrugged, replying, "It's just a small thank you for dinner that other day and I noticed you've been looking a bit stressed out with midterms lately, I thought this could cheer you up."

Mikasa couldn't believe that Reiner would actually notice all these little things about her. Things that even Eren never takes note of, despite being the closest person to her. Reluctantly, she nodded. "Thank you." The chocolate bar still tightly gripped against her chest in appreciation. "I've been having a hard time with Physics and Chemistry. I used to have a stock full of these by the dozens to help me pull through."

"So far, apart from my baby cousin, you're the only other girl I know who openly embraces your sweet tooth instead of screaming at my face because candy bars make you put on more weight."

It was her turn to shrug her shoulders in disregard, while tapping a finger against her own temple. "It won't add more weight if you burn it here first."

"Ditto." The blonde-haired student athlete nodded in agreement, yet not without a chuckle escaping his lips at the quirky meme reference from the other girl. "I could burn all these calories through one training session on the field."

"I'll accept this on one condition." She extended the chocolate bar towards his hand. "If we share this between us."

"Halvsies it is then." Reiner accepted and proceeded to break the snack into two even parts using his brute strength, earning him a stupefied but secretly impressed gaze from the goth girl. Mikasa eventually nodded before bumping her own half to his, uttering a shy, "Cheers."

When they both chewed on the shared chocolate, Reiner smacked his own lips in appreciation. "It's never too early for chocolate but damn, Ackerman. You have impeccable taste."

She shook her head again in disbelief. Eren always laughed at her preferences, calling her taste options as odd; as odd as herself. Yet here, the most popular boy in school is complimenting her choice of snack.

She briefly wondered, what would he think of wasabi-coated peas or boba-flavored popcorn?

He offered, "If you're in need of a study buddy, I'm only a text message away. I could also use some help with Calculus and Bio myself." They're both in the advanced class and none of her usual study groupmates could help her with her revision. Eren pretty much prefers to slack off on his homework and play video games more - too much gaming for her liking, sadly.

Reiner leant in for a mock whisper, attempting to convince his potential study buddy, "Bert's so quiet, the silence is distracting. I could really use a more 'proactive' group discussion."

Bertholdt, who's sitting next to where they were, only sent a confused look their way. "I'm sitting over here, you know."

That morning, they not only shared a candy bar together, but they too shared a laugh over poor Bertholdt's expense. Mikasa never hesitated to agree to Reiner's proposition, although it still puzzles her to learn that Reiner perceives her as someone that he'd be comfortable to have discussions with despite her being quiet as a mouse in most of their classes. Even quieter than Bertholdt in fact.

She'd almost always prefer to study on her own but a time-pressed revision calls for a change of revision strategy. This was for her own grades and as much as she initially thought Reiner was all brawn but the jock had shown her that there's more than what meets the eye from their ensuing close encounters.

-oo-O-oo-

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?

Are you holding back, like the way you do?

Each day ever since, a simple gesture of leaving candy bars inside each other's desk drawers or school bags became a fixed subtle exchange between the school quarterback and the school wallflower. A simple salute or a shy smile became their wordless greeting in the mornings.

Reiner had even been kind enough to make Mikasa a mix CD, a compilation of songs from their shared favorite metal and rock bands. It was a foreign yet very welcomed addition to Mikasa's very specific set of routine and the highlight of Reiner's day.

The raven-haired goth girl soon notices the stark differences between being in the presence of the quarterback as opposed to being in her longtime childhood friend slash longstanding crush (for as long as she could remember). She always thought seeing Eren at school is the only thing that could make her days better but Reiner's fun and quirky ways of approaching everything in life truly opened her eyes more towards viewing things much differently.

The tiny gestures of their friendship sooner turned into a daily after-school routine. On the days that Reiner has football practice, she'll secretly waits for him on the school bleachers until he wraps up his training session. While on the days that she has drama club meetings, he'll sneak into the school auditorium and sits at the secluded corner of the hall to wait until she's done. Always, afterwards he'll drive them both to her aunt's diner and they'll work on their homework or revisions together. Even Ms. Ackerman had endearingly dubbed the star quarterback her best diner crew seeing that he sometimes stays behind to help them clean the place up before closing. Reiner even received the nod of acceptance from their Additional Maths teacher, Mr. Levi, who, surprisingly he just discover, is not only Ms. Ackerman's son but also Mikasa's second cousin.

It was a fact that both Mikasa and Levi made him swore not to divulge to anyone else in school, for reasons unknown. But it somehow had something to do with some past underground family history, some questionable business associates and official informant in the family.

From snacks to mixtape CDs, they both found joy in the little things that reminded them of each other. None of them realized that just the simple thought of each other will always make their eyes light up and a warm beam to appear upon their faces. When it was only the two of them, Mikasa finds it comfortable to just be herself and be more open to conversations. She feels acknowledged.

Unlike with Eren, her words tend to be dismissed or disregarded. It even made her feel as if she is the third wheel in Eren and Armin's close friendship most times.

However, when she was in Reiner's company, even with Bertholdt around, the most popular boy in school always makes her feel heard. And seen. Despite her feeling that she's invisible to most people.

Unbeknownst to her, Reiner had been feeling the same way, as such even being in her presence had been the other best part of his day besides football practice.

It wasn't glaringly obvious at first but it was slightly noticeable to those who were closest to them, namely Armin and Bertholdt. Even Galliard, the younger one, had began to grow suspicious of their budding friendship. The football team had began to pick up on the co-relation between the goth girl's diligent presence on the school bleachers during their training and their star quarterback's peak field performance.

Porco had teased the blonde jock about it after practice. They were all in the locker room one day, getting freshened up after a long drill. The linebacker immediately caught sight of the quarterback making a fuss on his wet hair with his plain white tee half untucked from his waistband. A slow notification tone could be heard coming from the phone inside Reiner's jeans pocket, in which the latter began to hurriedly answer, "Hey, I'm heading out from practice..." Followed by a short pause and another reply, "See you in a bit, Mika-..sa." Reiner leered suspiciously at Porco, who wasn't being very discreet with his eavesdropping.

"Rushing for your date?" Porco asked, a towel drying his own dripping hair diligently and the most annoying smirk on his face.

Reiner shrugged his shoulders, eyes focused on the small tangled spot on his head and a comb in his hand, trying to wrestle the knot away. "I'm running late for my study group."

"Thought it was a study date." The younger Galliard brother snickered, shaking a body spray in one hand. "Guess you don't need this."

Reiner's face scrunched up as he attempted to sniff himself. "Shoot. Do I still stink?"

"I thought Mika liked the way you smell?"

"Shut up, Galliard." Reiner, upon realizing that Galliard was trying to make fun of him, quickly stuffed all of his clothing items into his duffle bag and made an immediate beeline towards the locker room's exit.

"Tell Mika I said 'Hi'!"

Without looking back, Reiner responded to Galliard's quip with a display of his middle finger. Earning him a loud, rambunctious guffaw from the Marley Warrior's linebacker. The soles of his Chuck Taylors squeaked against the polished floors of Paradis High as he sprinted towards his truck as if the distance in-between represents the winning point for his team. He was supposed to meet Mikasa at the diner like 15 minutes ago! Of all the days Coach Mitabi wanted to do extra drills and it happened to be on the day that Mikasa left the school earlier.

He knows Mikasa wasn't the type of person who'd be overdramatic over slight tardiness but it isn't something that he'd like to begin - a bad habit of taking her patience for granted. He's not gonna pull the same actions that Eren did.

-oo-O-oo-

In a secluded corner of a diner, sat a raven-haired girl, all engrossed in a Calculus workbook on the wooden table. Hard at work, Mikasa tuned out all of the background noise and voices of the other patrons with a blast of music from her trustee vintage discman; the last working possession of her late father. The edgy yet lyrical tune from Killswitch Engage helped her focus better on the required calculations at hand. It was one of Reiner's selection in the mix CD he made for her, a tiny yet thoughtful gift from a fellow metal head.

"Sorry, I'm late." A low, husky and familiar voice sounded from behind.

Speak of the devil, Reiner immediately appeared within her line of vision. His tall, muscular figure hunched slightly before scooting over to take a seat on the opposite side of the dining table. She could pick up a whiff of fresh shower gel scent coming from the quarterback and the all surprisingly homely smell of his letterman jacket the moment he settled his backpack down next to him. He pushed forward a takeaway cup towards her and said, "An apology for being late."

Mikasa took out the earphones from the player and shook her head. "I didn't even realize you were." She glanced at her watch and added, "You're only 30 minutes late. I've waited far longer than this. That is before I even realized I was stood up."

Reiner's expression darkened at the sudden reference, in particular, the incident which had led to their impromptu group movie outing almost a month ago. "Sometimes, I might not always be on time but I'll always show up."

She lifted the warm beverage cup in her hand and said, "This is not necessary but thank you." She knew a good cup of chai latté will always make her feel better.

And Reiner is well aware of that fact too. "Only the best chai latte in town for my MVP study buddy." His remark was received by an adorable smile in return. He suddenly felt a sudden surge of warmth creeping up his cheeks but he shook it off immediately.

Without wasting anymore time, they both immediately went straight down to their revisions, yet not before her offering him an adapter to hook his own earphones into her audio jack. It had by now became a natural, spontaneous action between them.

Occasionally, he'd ask her on a problem he needed help with and him, teaching her on the ones she had trouble solving. Observing her from across the table when she wasn't looking back, Reiner secretly admitted to himself that he truly enjoyed seeing the way Mikasa's face changes from hyper focusing in deep thoughts, twirling her pencil furiously to the satisfactory gleam and the tiny victory pose she would do when she had successfully solve a difficult question. The people in school dubbed her as the most emotionless girl in school, but on the contrary, Mikasa is actually a really animated and fun girl to hang out with.

Without any doubt, the one you want to introduce to your mother, your family and your bros.

Marcel was right, Mikasa is a home girl. He didn't even realize another wave of fuzziness tugging from within his chest.

Ms. Ackerman would often pass by their seats, offering a plate of fresh from the oven treats to the two high schoolers and quickly check in to see if they ever needed any more refreshments.

Reiner leant in for a hushed whisper, "I think that your aunt is secretly trying to spoil me by fattening me up."

"You're only realizing that now?" Mikasa's eyes squinted in seriousness. "We do need a human sacrifice at the upcoming full moon solstice."

His jaw dropped at the slice of terrifying information.

"Kidding." She added, still deadpan. He'd almost spitted out the ice tea he was drinking.

Their banter was suddenly robbed by a text message coming into her phone. The minute Reiner saw the light disappearing from her eyes, he'd knew that it had something to do with Eren. Yet, he remained silent, courteous enough not to prod unless she needed to talk to someone about it.

Until he saw the way she slipped her phone into her backpack quietly with disappointment, evident from a long sigh from her tinged lips.

"You ok?"

She shook her head. "Sorry. I just need a minute."

"Let's take five then." Reiner shut the workbook close and temporarily set it aside. He also took a long sip of his chilled ice tea, savoring the tangy taste of lemon in the drink. "If you need to vent, I'm your man." He nervously retracted his statement but correcting himself, "Friend. I'm your friend." He scooped his own face with a hand, trying to cover up the blunder and nervously laughed, "Shit, sorry. I almost sounded like Jean just now."

Mikasa sent him a deathly glare, disgust mixed in there somewhere. Just a mentioning of the school's bad boy was enough to trigger the goth's annoyance. Jean's persistent crush on Mikasa was old news but her obvious disinterest was what made the situation legendary. Their situation in a sense, reminded Reiner of himself and Historia, even.

Both of them crushing on a girl whom barely talk to them and the only thing they know about the girl was only on a surface level.

Maybe he'd understood that feeling more than he thought he did.

He begin to realize that maybe he's also starting to crush on the same girl as Jean do, after knowing her more and more each day.

"Sorry."

"Are you being nervous about something again? You're needlessly apologizing."

Wait, what? Oh shit. He went still, silent.

"Eren's been ignoring me on purpose again." Mikasa eventually confided. "He said that he had plans with Armin but when I texted Armin about it, he said Eren also bailed out on him. Since last week."

Reiner looked back at her sad face, wishing that she could stop letting Eren invade the space inside her head. Just the mere thought of Eren would wipe off the endearing smile upon her face. On certain days, it would drag her down and push her into her emo mode.

'You're just too good for him.' Was what he'd wanted to say but instead he uttered, "Give him time. He probably didn't realize he's been ghosting you all this while. Besides, we've been studying together for quite some time now, maybe he understands you're neck deep with midterms."

She gazed downwards at her clenched hands, seemingly to take in his words with serious consideration. Nodding, she relented. "Okay. Thanks for listening. I really appreciate it."

He waved away her gratitude. "Anytime."

Just before they both continued their revisions, out of the blue, Mikasa nonchalantly asked, "Reiner, have you seen the movie Twilight?"

He recalled that the title is somewhat familiar, even if he's not as adept in pop culture as most kids his age do. "I've heard of it from my baby cousin. She's been asking me to watch it with her. I heard there's a sparkling vampire and a werewolf?"

"You must think it's cheesy like Eren does. He said it's too corny but I love it. Especially Jacob, the werewolf." The blush on her cheeks signified that this Jacob character is the goth girl's crush, which Reiner made a mental note of to be a potential topic of interest. Or future blackmail, depending on the situation.

"One of these days, I should introduce Gabi to you. You both would get along well together."

"I would love that."

"And she would love you."

Her eyes lit up at his remark. "Uhmm...the movie's sequel is releasing soon, maybe we could watch it together with your cousin?"

"Are you asking me out on a movie date, Mika?," asked the hunky quarterback as he leant in closer from across the table.

A crumpled piece of rough paper hit him straight on his face almost immediately.

"Now you're sounding like Jean."

"I do deserve that paper bomb."

He knew his eyes weren't playing tricks on him when he saw a glimpse of a blush and a shy smile right before she shoved his own workbook back to him, urging him to focus back on their study.

-oo-O-oo-

Do you ever think when you're all alone

All that we could be, where this thing could go?

Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it real or just another crush?

The tip of her pencil tapped anxiously against her puffed up cheeks, her other hand gripped too hard against the pages of her Chemistry textbook. She swore she had the periodic table memorized at the back of her head. A long sigh escaped her lips as her mind kept on drawing blanks despite having fast computing skills and being the highest subject achiever in the whole school. She's an ace when it comes to formulas and facts. So, to have her brain stumped when it comes to something as natural as the extended chemical components, puzzled her more than the Advanced Chemistry homework did.

Why can't she get the formula of Phosphorus pentoxide right?

She exhaled another sigh. 'Why is Eren avoiding me?'

She was too lost in her own thoughts that she didn't notice an uninvited presence approaching towards her seat from the lab's door.

"Hey Mikasa!" A loud gruff voice, followed by a loud thud against the empty space on the long lab table disturbed her much appreciated solitude. She grumbled underneath her breath when she took in the form of Jean Kirschtein with that ever smug grin on his face. He didn't even give her the chance to say anything before forcing a piece of paper, written with numbers - his phone's apparently - next to her pencil case.

"What is this?" She asked, alienating the obvious answer, without even reverting her gaze away from her homework.

"My number."

"......"

"I think we should go out on a date sometimes."

"......"

"I really like you and you can do better than Eren."

She stayed silent. Hoping that Jean would take it as a sign of her usual dismissal.

"Guess you haven't heard the news about Eren then."

She looked up to Jean the second she'd heard the mentioning of Eren's name. Yet, she remained wordless and only gave the other boy the sternest look she had ever given anyone.

Jean's smirk grew annoyingly larger, as if he's proud of withholding a prized information that she'd be dying to know. "You'll find out soon enough and when you do, just know that I'll be more than happy to give you my shoulder to cry on."

She sent another discomforting glare. "No." For the love of Satan, can someone or something just walk into the room before she stab this annoying person's eyes with her pencil?

Jean lifted his head as soon as three newcomers, all clad in the high school's letterman jackets, walked into the lab. One of them spontaneously chided, "Wasted no time in making a move already, Kirschtein?"

"Piss off, Galliard."

Bertholdt appeared from behind the younger Galliard brother and offered Mikasa the formula she'd been looking. "P4O10"

She looked down, nodding. "Thanks."

The third person, Reiner, naturally took the seat on the table next to hers. Only the small dividing walkway separating their seats. He finally offered his take, more of the fact that he could see how visibly uncomfortable his classmate is upon the rather intrusive presence. "You know that she's just too nice to tell you to piss off, Jean."

Jean scoffed at his underrated remark. "I'm just looking out for her. With Eren-"

Reiner cut the other boy's word off, dismissing it. "Head to your class. The bell just rang 2 minutes ago."

Jean tried to argue with the much older senior student but he could only grit his teeth at the untimely interruption, eventually walking away. The last thing he needed was to instigate an altercation with not one, but three of the Warriors squad members.

"What was that about?" Mikasa said to herself, unaware of the subtle way the other three boys were exchanging concerned looks between them. Reiner had an inkling that since it's only first period, Mikasa has not yet to either one: met Eren and Armin yet or two: checking in on her social media profile because she would regularly keep her phone off in school. A bomb had been dropped last night on the net and the whole school's been buzzing about it since. Mikasa being oblivious to the online bomb's explosion are a blessing and a curse at the same time.

Reiner took in a long, deep breath. Maybe he should pull her behind for a quick chat during recess, just to preempt her before she meets up with Armin, or worst: Eren. He quickly wrote in his notebook and waved for her attention.

'Can we talk after fifth period?'

She was slightly surprised at his request yet she nodded.

Reiner tried to remain focus in class for the whole time but a heavy dread tugged at the pits of his stomach. Little did Mikasa know that her day would end up from bad to worst.

-oo-O-oo-

By the end of the fifth period, Mikasa waited at the back of the classroom for Reiner, but since the quarterback was caught up in a conversation with a few other classmates, she decided that maybe he'd forgotten about wanting to talk to her about something earlier.

She peered through the doorway and smiled when she spotted Armin from afar. She waved towards the bespectacled junior student, but her gesture was responded by a worried look on the other boy's face.

"Armin, why the long face? Have you seen Eren?"

Armin only pulled her with him, and made a mad dash towards the school hallway. She was very concerned of Armin's peculiar behavior that she'd failed to notice the sympathizing looks almost all the other juniors and sophomore students were sending her way. Armin stopped just right in front of their lockers and quickly opened his own, a grim warning from his lips. "Mika, there's something you need to know."

She placed a hand on the shorter boy's shoulder and asked, "Are you ok?"

"It's about Eren."

Mikasa gasped, almost shaking her close friend's glasses off as she began to worry at the mentioning of her childhood crush's name. "Is Eren alright? Did something happen?"

Armin adjusted his glasses before offering his explanation but a voice sooner interrupted their conversation.

"Hey guys." It was the person in question.

"Eren!" She couldn't help gushing over the face that she'd been missing for a few weeks now. "We were just talking about y-"

"There you are, Eren." Another soft voice and a feminine hand immediately latched onto the boy's arm. The golden-haired girl in the cheerleading uniform turned her head towards them and tried very hard not to let disgust shown on her face. "Oh hey, Dork. Weirdo."

Eren shook her head and softly said, "Historia, you promise you'll be nicer to my bestfriends."

"Sorry, darling." The Queen Bee covered her mouth demurely and corrected her greeting. "Arlert. Ackerman. Looking forward to seeing you guys around more. Hey, maybe we could all sit down together for lunch sometimes?" Historia's round blue eyes widened in forewarning as she gripped Eren's hand possessively in hers. "But not everyday ok?"

'What the fuck is happening?' Mikasa's heart pumped hard - too hard that she felt that she might as well just die due to cardiac arrest on the very spot she's standing in. She glanced at Armin, who's already hiding his head inside his locker. She was at a loss for words, unsure how to take in the current situation. Even she herself had never touched Eren's hands before. Or even called him with an endearment.

"What?" Mikasa could feel her voice cracking, the same way her own heart is crumbling on the inside.

"Since Eren's my boyfriend now, we'll be spending a lot of time together." The head cheerleader shook her head. "Silly girl."

Mikasa was frozen. 'Boyfriend?' She blinked rapidly, her cheeks feel heated and she could feel her eyes begin to water - either in shock or devastation, she just didn't know. Maybe both.

The other girl squinted her eyes, scrutinising, "Are you going to cry, Ackerman? Don't tell me that you like Eren too?" The heir of the filthy rich Reiss family decided that maybe breaking her heart wasn't enough. She had to publicly humiliate her too. "Sorry, I guess Eren doesn't feel the same way since he asked me to be his girlfriend first."

Mikasa decided that very instant that she's done being the nice, quiet girl that Historia and her possies can push around. What made it worst, as if rubbing salt into her wound, from the corner of her eyes she spotted Jean. He was resting against his own locker with that irritating smirk on his face, folded arms and a first class seat to the school's hottest drama of the week. And maybe use the situation to his advantage after the fiasco had wind down.

She mustered up all the courage she had and sternly urged, "Listen here, you b-"

Before she could even finish that sentence, a large, muscled arm slinked around her waist from behind and a low, husky voice greeted her tenderly. "Hey, babe. I've been looking all over for you."

She looked up towards the new presence and almost lost her grip on the books inside her arms. "Reiner..."

"Babe???" Now it was everyone else's turn to be shocked out of their wits. Armin, Eren, Historia and Jean included. Only Bertholdt and Porco stood idly by, nodding in acknowledgement. Apart from showing their support towards their team captain by doing a bro fist bump with each other and against their chest.

Eren asked with obvious disinterest, "You and Reiner? Really?"

Reiner stepped forward, his height and build towered over the younger boy, intentionally making the latter seemed pale in comparison. "You have a problem with me dating Mikasa, Jeager?"

"I mean, since when?" The brunette shrugged his shoulders. "No offense but you're not exactly her type, Reiner."

"Maybe you don't know her as well as you thought you do. FYI, we've been going out together since more than 3 weeks ago. We prefer to keep it on the DL because Mikasa knew you'll be a dick about it." They weren't entirely lies but Mikasa didn't deserve to be treated like she's a loser, especially by Eren of all people. "Mikasa's been my girlfriend way before Historia even bothered to start talking to you."

"I don't trust you. You're just jealous that Historia's dating me and not you."

"I don't give a shit on what you feel or think. Maybe you're the one who's jealous because Mikasa chose me and not you."

"Mikasa," Eren looked back at her. "Please tell me this is a joke."

All eyes were on her now. She was lost in the current situation but she knew what she had to do. She looked up at the taller jock with bated breath. "Reiner..."

She saw the way the quarterback's eyes glanced at her nervously, worried that she might expose the real truth behind his lies. Even Reiner was holding his breath anxiously.

But instead, she clenched at his much larger hand and reassured, "You're not the only one with feelings, Eren. Deal with it."

Eren had a lot more to say, "But--"

"Let's get out of here, Rein?" It was Mikasa's turn to walk away with her dignity intact.

"After you, babe."

Reiner nodded, truly relieved that Mikasa understood what he was trying to do. The moment they walked hand-in-hand across the hallways, the whole school had been talking about them. But Reiner knew all too well, the tighter her grip was on his hand, the harder Mikasa was trying to keep herself from falling apart from the heartbreaking situation.

Her day could have been a lot worse.

Making up a lie had been an easy part. Keeping up a lie though takes a lot more work and sooner or later, the line between the lie and the truth gets blurry each day.

But what happens when the lie slowly converges into a truth?

Both Reiner and Mikasa will learn that the heart is not a tool to play around with especially when their families and close friends are getting involved in their unexpected equation.

-oo-O-oo-

End of Pt.3

[izzielizzie]

Idk if you talk about tv shows much but I’d love your thoughts on the Saved By the Bell reboot, especially parallels between new characters and the old ones and where you think they’re going with romance

i love talking about shows!!!

old vs new group

Zack and Mac

If the names and incredibly accurate casting wasn't enough, their knack for getting themselves into trouble, setting up elaborate pranks, and falling fast and hard for random girls should be a really good indicator of the parallel. But, one thing that should be mentioned: there is a little bit of Kelly in Mac too, which makes him a little more endearing that Zack (who really is trash). Mac is a lot more family oriented than Zack was, and Kelly, being in a family of seven kids, understands the importance of good familial relationships, and we see Mac wanting to be closer to his father. He does all of this stuff just because he wants his father to see him for once. And that is all Kelly.

Lisa and Lexi

I mean this one is kind of obvious: obsessed with fashion and relationships. They're both popular and give good advice. But I think the biggest difference between them is that Lexi's intentions are purely selfish while Lisa generally did what was best for her friends. It's interesting how they get into similar scrapes, but there's the very clear difference in how they happen and what the results are. Lisa, who spent a ton of her father's money and then worked to pay it back, even though her friends offered her money, ended up happy while learning a lesson. But when Lexi tries to get Jamie to date her or tries to win the role of president, she gets out of her scrapes without learning anything. She's starting to learn and she's going to have a great arc, but Lisa was - mostly - selfless from the first episode.

Jessie and Daisy

Again, another very obvious comparison. Jessie was the overachieving class president who was best friends with the popular prankster. And, per Mac's proclamation in the second episode, Daisy is Mac's best friend. But what sets Jessie and Daisy apart is that Jessie was super vocal about everything she believed in, and was willing to upset people she cared about even if it hurt her (think of her will-they-won't-they with Slater where she accused him of being a sexist pig every other second). And Daisy is just as vocal, but she has an inherent understanding of when to step back and let other people figure things out. Like when she says that if she wants to do anything at Bayside, she had to stop trying to fix one guy. Jessie didn't take that route with Slater.

Kelly and Jamie

For all of their other incredible qualities, Kelly and Jamie were reduced to the good looking airheads of the group. Kelly was the object of many boys' affection, and Jamie is just as liked by the girls at Bayside. But they're also both insanely kind and willing to help their friends. Jamie was the only one from the Bayside trio to be genuinely saddened about the kids having to go back to Douglas because, like Kelly, he never really has ulterior motives. He's kind of just... misguided.

Slater and DeVante

I know that the show explored this parallel from the very beginning of the show with the whole football thing, but their similarities extend farther. Slater was lonely and a little jaded when he arrived at Bayside because he had been in fourteen schools due to his father being stationed in a lot of different places. His only friend was his chameleon that he was really attached to. And he used his insecurities to look tough and join different teams to create his own family, knowing very well that he may have to leave. And DeVante has a really hard home life, and he's had some past misdemeanor issues, but like Slater, he wants to change how people view him while also trying to become happier. Maybe he isn't ready for a family like group of friends, but he's trying.

Screech and Aisha

Screech got the short end of the stick a lot, but he was an incredibly kind and helpful person - he got Lisa out of a lot of scrapes even though she never showed any interest or kindness in return - but most importantly: he was unapologetically himself. He flaunted his ant farm and his interesting abilities, no matter how much Zack teased him. And Aisha is the same way. She wanted to play football without a helmet just so people would know they were losing to her. And she's kind too. She lends a shoulder to Daisy constantly, and she's respectful towards Lexi even though she kind of admitted to sabotaging Jamie and Aisha's relationship.

Romances

the triangle

The Aisha, Lexi, and Jamie love triangle is reminiscent to the Slater, Zack, and Kelly triangle, where two people are fighting for the affections of a third person that’s rather oblivious. Saved By the Bell is a big fan of the “best friends to lovers” trope, so Lexi and Jamie might be the most obvious choice for long term couple, but - and hear me out here - I think the ultimate couple will be Aisha and Jamie. Jamie is less prejudiced out of the three original Bayside kids, but he’s a little confused, especially because his mother shields him from so much. If the show can do it right, with Aisha’s prompting, Jamie can have an amazing arc where he steps away from his mother and other people that have controlled his life (like Lexi), learning that he’s enough as his own person, and Jessie can learn that her son will be okay on his own.

And Jamie can teach Aisha how to accept her feelings, especially since she admitted that she’s not the best at talking about/understanding her feelings.

Slater and Jessie

Ah yes, my personal favorite. Especially since Jessie stood up to Rene, it’s highly likely that Kelly will be sowing the seeds of the old relationship in the second season, and we go back to our regularly scheduled programing

also - can you guys tell I adore Jamie yet? - it would be great for Jamie to have a positive father figure, something he doesn’t have since Jessie did most of the raising. 

Mac and Daisy

I know their actors were surprised by this pairing, but Mac and Daisy are perfect. Before Slater asked Jessie to the prom, I shipped Jessie and Zack so hard because they had chemistry and they were friends. Mac and Daisy have the chemistry - and have had it since day one - but also they’re best friends who build each other up and learn from each other. The also appreciate and value each other. Mac tried to teach Daisy how to be rich to get what he wanted, but ultimately he pushed everyone to help her since he knew that she was doing the right thing. And Daisy accused him of not being able to do anything, but she apologizes because she understands that Mac is still working out his issues and most importantly - he’s trying.

And I know this part is self-fulfilling because I’m Latina, but I really want Mac learning about Daisy’s culture and understanding where she’s coming from. Also: Mac interacting with Daisy’s brother would be perfect.

[sheikah]

Hello! I'm not in the Shadow and Bone fandom but I've seen a lot of Darklina discourse going around, and though I've seen a lot of anti-Darklina stuff, I don't think I have heard many arguments from Darklinas, and was wondering whether you'd give reasons as to why you ship them? I hope I'm not giving the impression of being anti-Darklina/sending you hate mail.

Hi anon! No worries, I don't interpret it as hate mail. But I also think the reason you don't see arguments from Darklinas is because a lot of us don't approach fandom and shipping from a "right and wrong" perspective. Darklinas are currently more active content-wise than almost any other Shadow and Bone pairing, so I think that is probably the reason that you aren't seeing Darklinas equally represented in discourse circles: because instead of engaging in discourse, most Darklinas I know are just making gifs or writing fic or whatever instead (obviously there are exceptions, though).

I used to be the sort of blogger who wrote a lot of meta and answered a lot of asks that challenged my shipping preferences. I was a Jonerys and people did NOT like it back in the day, and I used to spend a lot of time trying to prove that it was right and okay and morally acceptable for me to ship them. I want to say that there is nothing wrong with being this type of blogger and I still answer asks this way occasionally. But as time has gone on I've sort of stopped trying to justify my shipping. I could, and perhaps one day will write out reasons why I ship Darklina in spite of the anti discourse and their talking points about what they perceive as being "wrong" or problematic about the ship--because I do of course disagree with their bad faith takes and I AM a Darkling apologist lol. Like regardless of him being the villain I do actually defend a lot of the Darkling's actions. But I would still likely ship them even if I found everything he's done to be indefensible. I just don't think that morality is a factor in fandom preferences at all. I either vibe with a pairing or I don't.

Because ultimately, I don't really think it's worth it to get into those kinds of arguments anymore--I’m never going to change an anti’s mind anyway lol. So without addressing common discourse at all, suffice it to say that Darklina emotionally moves me more than any pairing has in a long time (not just among other Shadow and Bone pairings but just in general), both their book and show versions. I think they're interesting, I think they're hot, I think the angst and impossibility of their relationship leads to a lot of longing, pine-y feelings as a reader/viewer that keeps me invested in the long haul and makes me want to create or seek out fanon content to explore the potential of their relationship. I think the idea of the Sun Summoner and the Shadow Summoner being together is just so appealing and such a no-brainer when it comes to ship-worthy dynamics. I think the fact that every time they touch it's like this super intense mutual physical reaction because of him being an amplifier (something that is explored much more in the books) is just so unique and delicious and makes every interaction they have that much more fun. I think the idea that two people who are that compatible, that much an embodiment of "opposites attract," but who simply can't be together because of ideological differences is just so compelling. I think them being two of the only immortals in their universe is equally compelling. The idea that Aleksander has gone 500 years without finding someone he wants and connects with as much as Alina keeps me up at night. I couldn't get enough of reading about their psychic bond that allows them to visit and even touch each other across vast distances. And in the show!version I think Ben Barnes and Jessie Mei Li have the sort of rare chemistry that makes me ship a pairing regardless of the circumstances or characters themselves.

So yeah. Tldr: I really don't have a real argument to make for the ship that would refute the anti arguments you're seeing about them. I simply love them. I really, really love them lol.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 1 | S.R.)

Summary: Spencer meets a girl he can't get enough of at the nightclub, then quickly realizes she is not supposed to be there. 

A/N: This work deals with a lot of dark themes. There will be imperfect characters, and they will make mistakes. If you are sensitive, please read each chapter's content warnings carefully and alert me if I am missing any.

This work is undergoing heavy edits. Thank you for your patience!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: NSFW, 18+ Series Content Warnings: Adults w/ Age Difference (10yr), heavy petting, drinking Word Count: 4.4k

MASTERLIST | Series Masterlist

—————————————————  

There are many reasons to come to a nightclub. For some, it's an excuse to find someone to kill their loneliness. For others, it's a chance to escape themselves. I wasn't sure which I was more of that night. All I knew was that I was ready for something, anything to break the monotony.

The pulsing bass reverberated through the floor, and I let it take me somewhere else for a while. I let myself get lost in the crowd of other regrettable people, and I allowed my body to move on instinct, to move to the music without much thought.

It was my birthday, as evidenced by the giant sash my friends insisted on me wearing. If anyone were to ask, I had just turned 21. But, truthfully, I still had another year to go before then.

The strangest part about it was that I wasn't usually the kind of person to make a habit out of breaking the rules. At least, not anymore. But something about the last year had made me stir crazy in a way I couldn't explain.

I could've thought harder about it; I could've found a reason. But I didn't want to.

So, I said, fuck it! Everything happens for a reason, right?

The thought perfectly coincided with a pair of pensive eyes that caught my attention through the sea of people I was surrounded by. A man somehow unlike the others was leaning against the bar, seemingly alone. I thought that it was strange, considering how out of place he seemed. Surely, I thought, he must have come with someone else.

But the way he was looking at me told me that, in the very least, he probably wasn't there with a  woman. At least, I'd hoped not.

I almost went to him, but I was stopped by a familiar tapping on my shoulder. My friend was calling my attention to the suddenly relatively empty stage, and not before long she was begging me to join her on it.

I'd never been the best dancer, but I figured it was as good a way as any other to try to get a cute guy's attention. After all, that's what you do in a club, right? As I climbed up with her, I tried to spot him once more. Unfortunately, by the time I gracelessly clambered onto the stage, he'd  already moved from his previous position.

'Oh well,' I thought, 'Maybe he hadn't really been looking at me after all.'

Rather than sulking over the loss, I focused on the music again. I swayed my hips to the beat and closed my eyes. I let my hands run up and down my body the way I wished someone else's would. Not just anyone, though. Someone... different. Someone who might almost make me feel like they'd earned it.

I wondered if that strange man could still see me. I wondered if he was still looking.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but when I glanced back to the bar for the fifth time in a relatively short period of time, I finally spotted him again. Once he noticed me noticing him, he quickly turned around, and I knew it was my chance.

I scrambled down off the stage, leaving my friends to enjoy themselves among the writhing bodies and blistering heat. I wanted to enjoy a different primal experience.

Strutting right up to the bar next to him, I leaned over the counter and gave a brief, respectful wave to the bartender. Despite not breaking my gaze, I felt the hairs rose on the back of my neck.

I'd caught someone's attention. I didn't look, though. Not yet.

"Gin and tonic, please," I called when the bartender finally made his way over to me. Once he turned back around to make the drink, I knew it was a good time to look over at the stranger beside me.

Unsurprisingly, he immediately pretended he wasn't looking at me.

"Are you checking me out?" I asked just loudly enough that he would undoubtedly be able to hear me over the music.

His embarrassed reaction answered the question in the affirmative, although he unconvincingly insisted, "U-uh, no. No, I'm not."

"Oh," I responded, moving closer to him to prevent someone from separating us. "That's too bad."

He furrowed his eyebrows, and a small smile broke across his face as he asked, "Is it?"

"Well... Yeah," I laughed.

The way we locked eyes was a challenge, and one he seemed to only half accept. When he looked away from my eyes, it felt less like admitting defeat and more like taking me up on the offer to check me out.

He glanced down at my chest, and I moved from my position leaning against the counter to open my chest up for a better view.

"Can you see it well enough?" I teased with a slow gesture down the sash. I couldn't tell if his face was as red as it looked or if it was just the flashing lights playing tricks on me.

The bartender returned before he answered, and I handed him my change as a tip before holding the drink with my hand over the top. I might have been young, but I wasn't trying to get drugged in a club. I tried not to read into him noticing that habit.

"Happy birthday."

His offering seemed genuine, and this time, it was my face that turned burned. I hoped he didn't notice how flustered such an innocent thing made me, but I had a feeling he did.

"How old are you now?" he followed up, and I realized that I didn't really want him to know. Not the truth, anyway. Still, something about the way his eyes scanned every motion I made just made me feel like he could tell if I was lying.

"A year older than the last."

It wasn't a lie, after all, and he seemed to think it was funny. Behind me, a person was struggling to fit into the crowd at the bar. The somewhat unwelcome result was pushing me closer to the stranger I was quickly becoming acquainted with. But thankfully, when he reached out, he did so respectfully. His grip on my arm was gentle, but enough to stabilize my obviously struggling self.

"Thanks," I said with a bit of a laugh, trying not to seem dramatically inexperienced at this scene. "I'm not used to wearing heels."

He seemed so comfortable despite the chaos. So paradoxically confident yet timid.

"What's your name?" I asked, and he was more than happy to respond.

"Dr. Spencer Reid."

Something was so charming about the way he kept his honorific, which would usually have been irritating. He didn't seem to want to brag about it. He'd just announced it like it was a deeply ingrained aspect of his identity.

"Doctor? You seem pretty young for that," I playfully noted. Not that I was bothered by the prospect of an older man. I sipped on my drink as I waited for a bit of clarification, and his eyes continued to flit back to my lips every couple of syllables.

"Well, if you're talking about a Doctor of Medicine, I'm 30, which is actually the average age a person would be when they complete their residency. But most people with MDs will call themselves doctors after they graduate, so really, I wouldn't be too young at all."

I nodded along as he spoke, wondering if this kind of information dump was common for him. It was... kind of endearing.

Before I could get a word in edgewise, he continued to clarify, "But I'm not that kind of doctor. I have three PhDs; mathematics, chemistry, and engineering. I also have a BA in psychology as well as sociology."

I waited another second to make sure he was finished, and also because I was suddenly feeling quite intimidated. His strange socialization method made sense with his PhD subjects, and the bachelor's explained why he was so observant.

Something told me he didn't need to be told he was impressive.

"What about you? What's your name?" he finally asked, and I realized I never told him my name.

"(Y/n). No honorifics, unfortunately. Not yet."

"(Y/n)," he smiled, repeating it back to me and adding, "It's a nice name."

Uncomfortable talking about myself in light of the foregoing, I opted for a different topic.

"You don't seem like this is your first time in a club."

"Yeah, it's not. I have to go to them occasionally for work. I also grew up in Vegas, so they were kind of... everywhere," he chuckled.

When he raised his glass to his lips, I noticed that the distinct lack of color to his. I didn't mention it. There were so many reasons someone would prefer water, assuming that's what it was, including the basic desire to not be hung over the next day.

"What kind of work regularly takes you to a nightclub?"

I was genuinely curious, but I wouldn't get the answer. At the same time I asked the question, I felt a very strong pressure digging into my arm and yanking me away from the bar.

"Hey there beautiful, why'd you leave the dance floor?"

I didn't even recognize the very drunk man slurring the question to me. He looked like every other generic, idiotic brute that I had encountered through the night.

"Because I don't want to fucking dance with you," I answered as matter-of-factly as I could while seeing nothing but white-hot rage. 

I could see Spencer's demeanor change, like he was about to do something. I shot him a warning glance that this was not his fight, and was pleasantly surprised that he'd respected it. I had gotten quite comfortable with this part of being out on the town.

"Come on, don't be like that," the man barked.

I pulled my arm away. Half of my drink sloshed onto the sticky floor below, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to be drinking it now, anyway.

"I said no," I said in a much louder voice, lifting my foot high enough for it to hurt when I drove the pointed heel directly into his foot. "And don't fucking touch me!"

Before I could throw what was left of my drink onto the asshole, I felt Spencer's much gentler touch. His arm wrapped around my waist as he stepped between me and the man and hurriedly guided me away from the guy and to a nearby table. As soon as I could reach it, I climbed onto a chair at the high top, rubbing my arm where it had begun to raise in welts from his nails.

"What a fucking dick!" I yelled, still fuming from the unwelcome contact.

In stark contrast, Spencer's very warm hand cupped my face, tilting it to look up at him.

"Are you alright?"

It felt like time stopped when he looked at me. Like the earth had halted in its tracks. My perception of the otherwise energetic music seemed to slow down, and the sounds of the crowd drowned away. I wasn't able to focus on anything other than the pounding of my heart and that tried to break through bone cages to find him.

'God, I must be drunk.'

"Hey, are you okay?" he repeated, and I finally snapped back to reality.

With a simple nod, I was suddenly no longer angry at the asshole who had caused the moment to happen.

"Yeah," I mumbled, "Thanks."

"Does that happen to you often?" he asked with a strange mixture of concerned and angry that honestly looked pretty damn attractive on him.

"Unfortunately. Most guys don't like being told they aren't your type. Especially if they aren't used to it."

"I wouldn't know," Spencer shrugged with a gentle laugh, "I'm pretty used to it."

A welcome bit of self-deprecating humor. He moved his hand, and I hated to admit that I'd already missed the warmth of it.

"Well, I don't know why you're used to it. I think you're pretty cute."

The statement was fueled by the alcohol, but it was still true. He wasn't joking about being used to a lack of desire. Seconds after I'd complimented him, he shifted uncomfortably. I tried not to read too far into it. I hoped it was how he would've responded to anyone. 

"Thanks..." he started, shoving his hands in his pockets as he struggled to find something to do with them now that they weren't touching me. "But I feel like an asshole now."

I raised my eyebrows and chuckled at the strange response to a compliment.

"Why?"

"I uh, I lied to you earlier."

My attention piqued, I turned my body towards him and leaned forward to hear him better.

"Oh? To which question?"

He released a hand from his pocket, running it through his hair as he worked up the courage to look at me while he spoke.

"The... first one you asked."

I couldn't help but laugh. All of the air in my lungs was quickly drained by his absolutely endearing honesty. The way he just had to admit that he had been checking me out, as if I didn't already know.

"You are absolutely adorable, Spencer Reid."

He reacted much better to that compliment, although he seemed confused when I held my hand out for his.

"Come here," I instructed.

When he didn't listen, I reached my fingers out to grab his forearm and proceeded to tug him towards me. He took the few steps forward, and I took a moment to appreciate that his height granted me perfect access to his face from the high top.

I bit down on my lip as I glanced between beautiful eyes and his lips that parted softly. I heard his breath come faster the closer I came.

Without moving away, he asked, "What are you doing?"

While wondering if it was possible for him to do anything without being charming, I tightened my grip on his arm and looked up at him with the most lustful look I could muster.

"Well, I guess I'm going to kiss you. I hope that's alright."

"Why?" he asked.

An equally charming and maddening response, to which I just gave a small shrug. His eyes glanced back and forth, clearing trying to read between the lines of my own gaze. I let him. He didn't seem to have any follow up questions or reservations, so I used my free hand to pull his face to mine.

When our lips met, I was transported back to the dance floor in my mind. I could feel the vibrations shaking every inch of the club, but it was nothing compared to the butterflies erupting in my stomach. His hands returned to my face shortly after, and when his tongue slipped into my mouth it was the only confirmation that I got that he had also been drinking.

The taste of vodka and gin mixed, creating a cocktail of alcohol and hormones between us. A small moan escaped my lips at the thought, and part of me hoped he could feel it distinct from the bass. I wanted him to know the effect he had on me. Because, as it turned out, he wasn't just cute and smart, he was an incredibly talented kisser.

Not wanting to stop yet, I hooked a leg around the back of his knee and increased my hold on him. He lowered a hand to grab onto my thigh, and I gasped at the contact. I wondered if this was his first time making out in a club, because it was certainly mine.

Selfishly, I hoped I could be a first of something for him. Realistically, I knew it was unlikely. He was just too damn good at this.

Spencer began to retreat from the kiss, and before he could leave entirely, I bit down on his lower lip. The last, lingering contact seemed to have its desired effect, as he looked down at me like there was nothing else that he wanted more in this world than to keep kissing me.

"Was that a good enough reason?" I asked.

Instead of using words, he just kissed me again in response, with more pressure and less reserved. It was an answer I was more than happy to accept. His grip on my leg tightened, and it was nothing like the way other men grabbed me. When we broke apart this time, I knew it was time. I had to make my move.

"Come outside with me," I begged. 

He seemed not to have expected any invitation, especially such a vague one. Nonetheless, he nodded and stepped back enough to let me hop out of the chair. His hand in mine, I led him through the crowd. He never let go. Not even when we got outside.

The air felt cool and crisp in comparison to the stuffy club. My ears were still ringing, and I wondered if we would sound the same to each other now that we weren't practically screaming. I let out a laugh from pure nerves, excited to be alone with him, but also not really ready to have this conversation.

Of course, he thought I was cute, but I was still a stranger. What if he wasn't actually all that interested and decided to ditch me? That would be embarrassing.

"Heeeeyyy! (Y/n)! How's it going?!" A familiar voice sounded from over by the smokers.

It wasn't one of my friends, per se. More like a friend of a friend. A very drunk and very excited acquaintance. I finally let go of Spencer's hand but glanced back to let him know to follow me over.

I stayed at a  modest distance as I called back, "Hey, how's it going, John?"

"Goin' pretty fucking great," he slurred, and I laughed at how hammered he had managed to get in a couple of hours.

"Sounds like it."

"So, how's 20 treating you so far?"

Now, this is the point where I have to admit to myself and everyone else, that I am not the cleverest person. Because the question seemed so normal, and I was expecting it so much, that I seemed to have forgotten that I was not, in fact, old enough to be at this club.

So, without thinking, I responded, "Pretty fucking great."

To Spencer's credit, he didn't say anything, but I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull. It took me another second to realize what I had just admitted.

Fuck.

I was too scared to turn around. He seemed to know that I wasn't going to address it, and he wasn't the kind of person to make a scene. So when his hand grabbed mine again, and I felt the insistence in his grasp, I knew that I was utterly and completely fucked.

I grimaced to John, who just burst out laughing before yelling, "Oooh, jailbait got busted!"

My head fell backwards as I groaned, letting Spencer begin to drag me away from the crowd as I shouted back, "I'm not jailbait, you dick!"

Following the boy I actually wanted to be with, I tried not to give up hope yet. In a twisted sort of way, I was actually somehow looking forward to the lecture I was definitely about to receive. Seconds after we'd turned the corner into the small alley, he had me backed against a wall.

"What the fuck was that?!" his voice was hushed, although he was clearly still yelling.

I bit down on my lip to stop myself from laughing at his attempts to be scary when his voice was still cracking. I raised my shoulders to shrug, but he continued his ranting.

"You're only twenty?! You can't be here!"

"Well, actually, we're in an alley, which I'm totally allowed to be in."

He did not appreciate my humor.

"You know exactly what I mean. You're not old enough to be at a club, and especially not drinking! What were you thinking?"

He looked so delectable when he was angry, I wasn't sure how he'd expected me to take him seriously. Resting my head against the brick wall behind me, I looked up at him with a bored expression.

"What are you, a cop?"

I honestly wasn't anticipating a genuine response, so when he responded, "An FBI special agent, actually," all I could think was, "Oh shit, really?"

"Yeah, really, (y/n)!" he yelled back, taking a step back when my arms immediately fell from their defensive position.

"That's so cool!" I answered with equal enthusiasm, which he still, clearly, did not like.

"What are you saying? That is not cool! None of this is cool!"

"I mean, I think it's pretty cool."

"I could have you arrested! I should have you arrested!"

The way I raised my eyebrows and smiled was clearly not the reaction he wanted, but I could tell he was intrigued by it. He paused, and I licked my lips with a wicked grin.

"You gonna cuff me, Special Agent?"

I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and he continued to distance himself from me. I took a step forward to maintain the gap.

"Wait, is it Special Agent or Doctor? I need to know now."

Before I could get too close to him, he had pressed his hand against my shoulder, pushing me back against the wall. 

"Cut it out! Stop trying to distract me," his voice was stern, but his breath was ragged. One of my hands devilishly snuck up, wrapping around his arm that was holding me against the wall. "It's not going to work," he warned.

I didn't believe him. I could also tell that, despite the words, he did not want me to stop.

"How am I distracting you, Special Agent Dr. Reid?"

He could tell what I was doing, but he couldn't stop himself from falling for it.

"Is my proximity distracting you?"

I was pushing his buttons, very purposefully and with a very specific goal. I wanted to see what happened when he broke.

"N-No, that's not—"

I cut him off once more, leaning forward against his hand, dragging my nails against the skin of his arm.

"Do you want to kiss me again?" I asked.

He had to think about the answer, and that angry, tempted face left me burning. I rubbed my legs together in anticipation, and he seemed to notice the subtle movement. With the strength I could muster, I inched his hand against my shoulder lower, letting him feel my heart racing above my breast.

"You do," I responded to my own question, recognizing his silence as assent.

I met his eyes in another challenge, knowing this time would be much easier than the last. He was already hooked.

"Well then, Dr. Reid. You have at least two options. You can either dig out your work issued handcuffs, haul me downtown and explain what exactly happened between you and a drunk twenty year old girl at the club..." the pressure on my chest lessened as he obviously considered what it would require of him. "You can help them with all of the paperwork, prematurely ending the night, leaving me in a jail, and go home alone... "

The compassion in his eyes was clear, and I knew it was a bit unfair of me to go for such low hanging fruit. He was a good man. He was just trying to follow the rules. He didn't want to hurt me. Unless I asked for it, perhaps.

"Or you can get into an Uber with me to go somewhere else, and I'll let you do whatever you want with mine. Or yours. I'm fine with either."

"My pair, or my place?" he asked, much to my surprise and excitement. I could feel the rush of blood in my ears, but I begged it to be quiet. I hadn't closed the deal yet.

"So you're considering it?"

He finally released his hold on me, but he didn't move away. In fact, he moved closer. Close enough to me that I could almost feel the body warmth radiating from him. I couldn't look down yet, but I was pretty sure what I'd find bulging between his legs.

"I-I... I don't know."

An honest answer, albeit disappointing. My puppy eyes demanded a clearer one. He obeyed their call.

"I'm a law enforcement agent that just caught you in a crime, since I'm assuming you got into that club with a relatively convincing fake ID that I'm certain you still have on you."

I nodded, still unsure where he was going with this monologue.

"I should be arresting you, or at least taking you somewhere safe, not... coming back with you for..."

He trailed off, and I smirked a bit at his inability to finish that thought.

"And yeah, I figured you were young but... I'm ten years older than you."

"And?" I finally asked, wanting him to get to the point that I had figured out, just so I could turn it down.

Spencer took a deep breath before admitting, "I don't want to take advantage of you. I get that there is no sudden change in your brain when you turn twenty one, but the younger you are, the less developed your prefrontal cortex is. Your judgment, your impulse control, the ability to truly anticipate the consequences of your actions, that won't be fully developed for at least another five years!"

He would have kept going, but I had already planned for this response. My hand on his arm jerked him forward, pulling his crotch directly into my other waiting hand. Completely on brand for him, a small yelp sounded as I gently palmed his erection.

With an innocent smile, I whispered, "Dr. Reid, I don't think you're the one taking advantage here."

His features were contorted into an infuriated, yet pleased mess. After another very brief moment of contemplation, he gave into the temptation I was dangling in front of him, laying a deep, frustrated kiss on my waiting mouth.

When we separated, he practically panted into my mouth, "Do you have a hotel room?"

Giggling, I nodded.

"I guess I'll call that Uber now."

————————————————— 

| Part 2 |

[hopecountyisforlovers]

movie night;

rating: general

pairing: martin blackwood x xandyr jameson

words: 2273

summary: i sat down and said "i'm gonna write martin and xandyrs first kiss" and what i actually wrote is 2200 words of pining with one paragraph about kissing. #oops

----------x----------

It's hard to pinpoint exactly when Xan fell in love with Martin, in the same way it's hard to pinpoint the exact moment the sun rises in the morning. The more he thinks about it, all the most natural things in the universe seem to happen that way- in the spaces between blinks, when you aren't exactly paying attention.

Martin's makeshift bedroom smells like old papers and discarded academia, just like the rest of the Institute- and yet it's weaker here. Overshadowed by lemons and tea and raw sunshine. Xan fidgets, nervous- sometimes he cannot help but think that he is polluting this space just by being here. That it's an act of pure selfishness that he's here almost every night anyway. Stacks of unfiled something-or-other forms litter the floor of the dimly lit room, some with old rings from discarded cups of tea where he's clearly been using them as makeshift desks.

Xan swallows hard- his mouth is dry, his heart racing. He's considering leaving- considering telling Martin he's had an emergency and that he has to leave him alone in this dark, depressing place for the night. It'd hurt him in the moment, sure, and he'd hate himself for the look of shattering that would pass over his soft, round features- but it wouldn't hurt him as much in the long run, as much as if he found out the truth about him.

At least- that's what he tells himself. But like everything else about him, it's a lie. If he left.... leaving would be even more selfish than staying. Martin needs someone, now- and in his more extreme flights of fancy, he can sometimes delude himself into thinking that someone might be him.

Light floods into the room from outside as the door opens- Martin smiles at him, all freckles and white teeth and fluorescents reflecting joyfully off his round glasses, and Xan would swear on all the things that were holy the light was coming directly from him. Had he really been thinking about leaving just a second ago? He's pushing a small cart with an ancient TV atop it, sitting squatly on the haunches of an equally-as-ancient VHS player. And of course- two cups of tea, adorning either side of the cart like decorations. Underneath is a tray of cupcakes, on top of a stack of assorted tapes- had he made them or bought them? Xan doesn't think he would care if he was trying to poison him with them.

"S-sorry I'm so late! I thought, well- it's a bit boring in here, with nothing to really uh, do-" He rubs the back of his neck, sheepish, "So I thought we could, er- put on a movie or two! I mean, if you want. If not, well, I could take it back, or-"

Xan shakes his head rapidly in denial- not because he cares particularly whether or not they put on a movie, but because he doesn't want him to leave. "A few movies sounds....nice. As long as they aren't, uh...cursed videotapes, o-or something. Knowing this place...." His attempt at humor falls only a bit flat as blue eyes go wide behind thick frames- as if Martin himself was just now considering that the Institute might house cursed videotapes. Xan can't help but laugh a little at the owlish expression. Martin's eyes narrow playfully.

"Havin' a laugh at me, are you? Cheeky bugger," a laugh shakes his broad shoulders, "Keep it up and I won't share any of these cupcakes!"

Xan knows hes bluffing in the same instant he knows he won't call him on it- sharing is to Martin what breathing is to most other people. It might actually kill him to eat a full tray of cupcakes while someone watched. He messily pantomimes zipping his lips closed in a way he hopes looks natural, although he can feel he's still smiling. The door closes behind Martin as he hands him his cup of tea, still steaming hot, and turns to the old television, flipping it on and lighting up the room in a bright blue. Xan sips his tea as he watches him fiddle with the dials and controls. Luckily for them both, it seems like the VHS player is already pre-hooked up to the television.

"What kind of movies do you like?" The question catches him off guard, makes his heart beat faster out of anxiety as opposed to anything pleasant. It occurs to him that he has no answer for this question- he can't even remember if he's ever seen a film before.

"Ah- All kinds! I-it is your room! We should watch, uh..whatever... whatever you want!" It's said too quickly, with a layer of fear that's hard to shake, but Martin doesn't seem to notice. Instead he's looking at him like he's given him a gift- his heart stops all together, twists like it's being wrung out.

"Whatever I want? Really?"

This man is going to be the death of him.

Xan nods as he sips his tea, even though it burns his mouth a bit. It's something to do with his mouth besides further dig himself into a hole, in any case. "Whatever you want!"

"O-okay! But don't... laugh, alright?" He pulls a VHS out of the stack underneath the cupcakes, and displays it for him to see- on the front cover of the box, an attractive women is in a loving embrace with an attractive man. The blurbs on the box promote it as being "heartwarming" and "the love story of our generation". He doesn't laugh, but he does smile- has he stopped smiling since Martin came in the room? He thinks it should start to hurt at some point, being this happy, but it never does- not his face, anyway, and not while it's happening. It's so typically the kind of thing Martin might watch that he feels like he could have guessed, when presented with the stack.

"I know, I know, it's a...well. A bit of a ladies picture, but..." His face flushes a high enough pink to be visible even through the cerulean light of the television that slants over his features. Xandyr's tea shakes in his hands and he has to drink another long sip to make sure it doesn't spill. It tastes sweet on his tongue, like syrup and honey, so cloying it threatens to choke him- just the way he likes it. "It's one of my favorites! I- I promise it's quite good!"

He trusts him implicitly, with a lot more than their choice of movies to watch- a knife through his chest, reminding him what he's doing is wrong. Martin cannot trust him implicitly in turn- there is nothing within him to be trusted in.

Martin pops the movie into the VHS player, which makes a whirring sound as if it is oh-so-put-upon by the task of having to do its job. For all Xan knows, it might be. It looks older than both of them put together. But it accepts the movie, beginning to play previews and coming soon featurettes that look much crisper than he expected they would. A warmth against his thigh snaps him out of staring at the TV screen- Martin has sat down next to him on his bed, a cup of tea in hand and the tray of cupcakes placed across both of their laps, and in the space underneath it their legs are touching.

Xandyr reaches for a cupcake. They're frosted through a spectrum of greens- dark and light and pale pastel. It reminds him of his other life, of light through the trees and moss on the trunks. Of being hunted and hunting in turn. Of falling asleep in bars of sunlight. He shoves it into his mouth, again too fast, and after he has made far too much of an embarrassing show of chewing and swallowing the whole thing at the same time he realizes that Martin is staring at him expectantly, a nervous and excited air about him that shimmers in bright blue eyes, so so close to his face now- too close.

Not close enough.

"What- What do you think?"

"I think I love y-" Xandyr bites his tongue, hard enough that he can taste blood even through thick frosting. What had he almost said? Holy shit. "I, ahaha, think I love them! I mean, I know! I do! Love them! Great cupcakes, Martin, really!"

"If you don't like them, that's-"

"No, I really do! I swear!" He makes a show out of taking another one, taking a bite this time instead of shoving it into his face like the wild animal he only barely feels like he still isn't. Martin's expression becomes unguarded all at once, that smile settling in place over his features again. Up this close, Xandyr can see every individual freckle that dots his cheeks, the stubble that lines his jawline where he hasn't shaved lately. He has to stop looking at him- has to- he feels like he's bound to be blinded any second now, like staring at something so perfect has to have far-reaching cosmic consequences- but all at once he understands why so many societies worshiped the sun and burned out their eyes in devotion to it.

In the end, Martin turns away from him, facing the TV screen that's now 5 or so minutes into the movie he had put in. He unwraps a cupcake, taking a bite, and makes a sound analogous to a hum, and Xandyr finishes off his own and follows him in repeating the process.

30 or so minutes in, teacups are pushed aside, emptied of their contents. Martin's leg is still touching his own under the tray. The cupcakes serve as a pleasant distraction- if he doesn't distract himself, he's sure he'll lose his mind. He nibbles at them, making them last. The man and the woman onscreen have clear chemistry- at least, he thinks they do. What would he know about it, other than that he wants to see them together?

About an hour. The couple is on a date. Love shines in their eyes. He couldn't tell anyone how they got there if his life depended on it- Martin's shoulder is pressed against his own now, sucking the breaths from his lungs. With the exception of laying down to sleep at night, they've never been this close. It feels.. different. More... intentional. More significant. Like a declaration of something it couldn't be.

Xan reaches for another cupcake, another distraction, but is intercepted by warmth under his fingertips instead, by an electric shock that jerks his head towards Martin like it was on a swivel. He's looking at him again, and he can tell by the look on his face that he felt that too. Xandyr feels heat rush to his face and dread stir in his stomach. It felt so good- better than anything he had ever felt. He couldn't have any more of it. He so desperately wanted more of it. Martin is looking at him like...

Like he wants more, too.

It's impossible, isn't it? And even if it wasn't impossible... even if the feeling that pours from blue eyes and washes over him like warm rain is genuine- he shouldn't, can't encourage it. It'd be unforgivable, to encourage him to fall into a void.

And yet.....

"Martin..." He whispers, and it is as much a plea as it is a warning and a confession. Don't come any closer. Please come closer. I'm going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. I love you. Run away.

Their fingers are locked together- when did that happen? Why does it feel like they were made to? His head swims with dizzy sensation.

He leans in, artless, uncoordinated- he's never kissed anyone before but all he can think about is Martin's lips, parted as they are with the weight of longing. He can feel his breath, can taste it in the air, sweet like frosting and then some, and he is so, so close-

"Wait, wait wait wait!" Martin pulls away with a panicky tint to his voice, and Xan is sure for a heart shattering, relief filled moment that he's done something wrong. That Martin will never speak to him again. It's what's best for him. He can't stand the thought of it.

But he simply slips his round glasses down off the edge of his nose, folding them and placing them safely by his empty teacup, and smiles that beatific smile, leaning back in close.

"Didn't want them to- ah- to get in the way..." For the second time tonight, his tone and mannerisms are sheepish.

Xan can't help himself- the distance between them disappears in a flash, mouths melding together in a mingling of sugar so sweet it makes his teeth ache and his chest ache and his stomach hurt. This is the pain he was waiting for; It's the best pain he's ever felt. His traitor hand combs through fluffy, soft blonde hair, catching on the hair pretty holding his ponytail in and combing it out effortlessly- and to his own surprise, a hand winds into his own hair, pulling at him feverishly. Kissing Martin is all he imagined it would be- soft and gentle curves melding to him in all the right ways, with an edge of what he didn't expect- a desperation to him that mirrors his own.

What he's done, what he's doing, is unforgivable- it flutters through his bloodstream, alternating lighter than air butterflies and the crushing weight of a hundred lead balloons.

He'd do it again in a heartbeat.

[amindofstone]

Match up, No. 9

@starlightbydaybright hat gefragt:

Hello! Saw you were taking match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one. Only done one before for another fandom, and I was wondering who I’d align with for One Piece ^^

I'm an INFP and generally an introvert, finding it difficult to express myself when I'm around people I'm unfamiliar with or just not close to. I can be both quiet and shy; quiet when I have no interest in making good impression on that person (a stranger I'll see once and never again) and shy when I'm genuinely trying to make myself acceptable to them. But, I do trust easily, so it's not hard to get close enough with me that I'll open up about almost everything, so long as they understand have my boundaries (that'll shift depending on how close). I'm also very affectionate with people I'm close with, particularly through physical touch, since I've been pretty touch starved. If you're close friends with me, you can find me constantly looking for a hug, but I can respect boundaries since not everyone enjoys contact.

The situation would be a bit different romance wise, since I’d revert a bit back to my introverted side, but also very affection-seeking at the same time. I say affection seeking as in I’d crave time and activities spent together with them, but I’d be afraid to ask/initiate, at least during the early beginnings of the relationship. I’d be constantly seeking affirmation of their love, and since I’ve never been in a relationship before (but desperately wanted one), they’d be constantly receiving my love too ❤️

While being an introvert in reality, I find it much easier to speak with confidence online. as I actually have time to contemplate what I can say. It's when I'm either with close friends or on the internet, that I can go on passionate endless rants or show my passive aggressive side. I'm usually pacifist, but if something irks me enough, I can and will pitch in snide/sarcastic remark or two, or if it's more serious; I will write out whole sophisticated and well worded paragraph that'd sound all polite with a hidden snarky tone.

I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, so there's lot of couple things I want to try when I find someone. Back hugs, bridal carry, tickle fights, you name it. While I do enjoy these displays of affection (comes with the happy kind of embarrassment aka. I feel embarrassed that others sees it but I’m happy because I know they’re not doing it out of maliciousness and because they truly love me), small gestures are appreciated too; a gentle squeeze of the hand, a passing smile, etc.

As for hobbies, I enjoy reading, writing, (occasionally) drawing, but most of all; probably singing. I enjoy a wide variety of songs, depending on what mood I'm in, but I particularly like songs about love. Looking for someone to sing the duet love songs with me, doesn't matter how good or bad they are at singing. They can be tone deaf for all I care, it's the thought that matters 😊

I'm very emotionally sensitive, and can both laugh and cry easily. A random stranger online wished me good day? I'll be in good mood for awhile. Watched a 'mildly' sad movie? (Extra emphasis on mildly) I better have new box of tissue on the side just in case. It'd be nice to have someone that can either comfort me or at least tolerate my emotions, so I wouldn't be irking them 😞

I don't really have a type when looking for significant other but being an INFP does make the romance thing complicated. It'd be nice to have someone that's far along on the extroverted side (just not happy go lucky and can be serious) since, despite being introverted, I like to experience new things. I'm just too afraid to try alone and prefer it if someone else recommends it first. Someone to prompt me and nudge me to do something, but won’t take it too far if I really looked uncomfortable. (I’m also a procrastinator so they gotta find out the right ratio between pushing vs. taking it too far 😅) In relationship, I'd value trust and loyalty the most, since both are important in keeping the healthy relationship. If both sides could equally trust and be trusted, then there wouldn't be place for insecurity or fear. This ties in with another part of me being an INFP; I want a relationship that lasts forever. While it's weird to decide how long lasting the love will be early in the relationship, I don't think I can fully commit myself to someone, knowing that it'll end (through the other side falling out of love with me, finding interest in someone else, etc.) (natural causes like death are fine, even though I will still be sad 🥲)

As for appearance, I’m a 5”4 female with slightly wavy black hair that reach nearly to my waist. I don’t think I’m particularly short, but then again, every anime character seems to be straight up giants XD (Man, I was born with the wrong genes) I’m overall very plain, with black hair, brown eyes, but I’ve always been told I had pretty long eyelashes and big bright eyes. Average weight for my height, and flat chested :’)

As for the preference for gender, I’m mainly attracted to guys. I had some (very few) crushes on a small selection of female anime characters, but that were very rare, like 3, compared to my (insert large number) male crushes

Thank you in advance and sorry for how long this is 😔

P.s. I feel like I need to emphasize I’m still an introvert, since the personality I described is only limited to my very small friend group

a/n:

Hey there? How are you doing? Thank you so much for requesting. First off I should be apologizing for making you wait so long. I hope you´re not mad at me but lately there is a lot happening in my life. In my private life but also in my college life. But let´s put that aside and get to your request.

I have to thank you for the detailed info about you because that helped me to choose a match up for you so much. Like I instantly could think of someone. Not only did it help me to match you up with someone but also to come up with a plot. So I came up with this little imagine/hedcanon… I really don´t know what to call my work for the imaginies so I go with work. XD Anyways I really don´t know what to do at this point. Your request and your personality gave me such a good idea for a plot that I tried my best to keep it short because I decided to turn this request and my ideas and thoughts that are flying around in my mind to an actual FANFICTION! AHHHHHHHH. I can´t stop thinking about it. The idea sounds so damn good in my head that it makes me smile like an idiot right now! Uff I can´t wait to find time writing it down. AHAHH, but I fear that I already gave aways so much with this!!!! *pouts Doesn´t matter I´ll do it anyways. AHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you so damn much for requesting!

Anyways! Back to my work now. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can change it and give you whatever you´d like. Other than that happy reading my dear!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: I sadly don't know. Please tell me of you know so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!

· I decided to pair you up with KILLER

· Like am I the only person that thinks that he is not getting the screen time and appreciation he deserves? Because that is the damn case! ODA GIVE THIS MAN THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION HE DESERVES. And while we´re at it I wouldn´t mind if I would get a bit more of Eustass Kid too… Thank you in advance. <3

· But that’s not the point. Please dear requesting beautiful human being give this man and me, your hopelessly dreamy author a chance. Thank you, I really appreciate. <3

· aNyWaYssssS.

+

· “y/n? Are you still awake?”, asked the blond man softly. “No worries I won´t make you carry me to bed again.”, you said with a giggle. You couldn´t see his face but you knew that he was smiling. “I don´t mind that you know? I like having you close to me without having to fear to see you hid under the blanket for who knows how long.”, you rolled you eyes and hit his arms. “That only happened because that idiot captain of yours annoyed the hell out of me. That was embarrassing Killer.”, you slowly put one leg over the railing and then the next one. Making sure you don´t fall down the ship. “What happened? Didn´t you drag me out our cabin to watch the stars?”, asked the muscular man who held you close to him while making sure you didn´t fell. “I did but now I´d like to look at something different. Something even more beautiful. Something that gives me warmth and happiness. Something that keeps me alive and always makes sure I am doing fine.”, talking to the blond pirate while sitting at the railing was one of the rare moments you were close to an eye level with him. “You mean my mask?”, asked the man with a tiled head that got you to roll your eyes and hit his chest. “Great you destroyed the sweet moment. I hate you. Make a step back so I can get down. I want to go back to bed and drown in regret of dating you.”, you tried to push him away but he was obviously stronger and threw you over his shoulder. “Of course you hate me. That was also the exact same thing you were moaning a while ago. Let´s go back to bed nerd.”

· As sweet and loving your relationship was now with the pirate it also started like that. Wanna know how? Alright let me get comfortable in my bed and get started. Story TIIMMMEEEE!!!

· An island well known for their universities and scientist. An island full of top ranked doctors.

· Physics, chemistry, biology, astrology was well thaught in the schools of the island. An island well known around the world. An island ruled by a powerful devil fruit user.

· An island in which every civilian had a talent in another field. And you? You sadly had an impressive talent for languages.

· Why sadly you wonder? Well the amount of times you had to run for your dear life because some pirates could come and kidnap you and make you read the poneglyphs is immense.

· Once even the infamous Red haired Shanks came and asked you with the hope to have someone who could read them. But sadly you couldn´t. You told him that you were done with pirates coming for you or your best friends. You regretted learning all of that and hated yourself for that. Shanks and Beckman to whom your were talking to really felt bad for you and claimed the island as their territory after they had a chat with ruler and made a deal.

· That was that saved you and your friends for years and made you happy. You were thankful to the red hair pirates and always treated them with meals and drinks when they came visiting the island. You were happy for 5 years. 5 years until these stupid reckless pirates came.

· And now? Now you hated yourself all over again

· You knew that not every pirate was like the red hair pirates. Nice and respectful. They didn´t kill innocent people and destroyed civilizations only to get some gold and diamonds. But these? These were horrible. Cold and cruel.

· “Someone make this btch talk otherwise I´ll do it by cutting her into pieces only stropping when IT actually starts to answer my god damn questions!”, screamed a tall and guy with red hair.

· You were scared. Tied on a mast on their ship, you feared for your life. Screaming for help was not an option since you were already on the sea since a while now.

· The man that was yelling at you none stop was now holding a blond man with a mask at his collar and growling at him. The man might have a mask on but you somehow had the feeling that he was talking to the man with the red fur coat. “Clear the deck! NOW!!”; yelled the man before he left inside the ship. Slowly every man on deck was leaving you alone. You wanted to ask them were or why the left but you knew that they wouldn´t give you an answer. You were a prisoner. A captive. A pathetic human they took on board. With the last pirate leaving you behind, a door that was located behind the mast you were tied on closed while the need to cry grew inside of you. How long am I here by now? One hour? Two or three? Was anyone missing me back at home? Were they already looking for me? Thoughts that occupied your mind were blurring your vision. You were looking right in front of you but also not. Your eyes were wide open but your vision was back at home. Home were you belonged.

· “Hey. Hey can you hear me? Hey you alright, woman? Hello?”, a man was squatting in front of you and waving with his hands in front of your face. You were deeply lost in your thoughts that you neither heard him coming nor saw him sitting right in front of you.

· But the moment he touched you tight you screamed and got back to reality. “Please don´t touch me. Please don´t hurt me. Please I beg you. Please.”, fear was written all over your face. You saw yourself death with a huge puddle of your blood. “Alright I won´t touch you. It´s just that I´ve been sitting in front of you for 5 minutes now and the only thing you did was breath and say no. Anyways here is something to drink. You´ve been her for four hours now. Half of the time unconscious and the other one either basically mute or in a trance.”, the guy in front of you was the same one who got the mad man to leave and clear the deck. It made you wonder who he was that he had such a power but you didn´t dare to ask. “Here I hold it for you and you drink.”, the glass was put on your lips and you drank. You didn´t knew how thirsty you were until your lungs were wetted by the water. Finished drinking he put a blanket over your legs since the position your were in didn´t allow you to cover yourself properly. And the fact that you were wearing a dress wasn´t helping at all.

· “Alright. You had something to drink I got you a blanket now tell me are you able to talk to me and answer my questions?”, you nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. There is this language that is called Krisanasy. As far as I know there is a tiny amount of people who are able to speak that and you are one of these. Am I right?”, you nodded. “How well are you in it?”, you gulped and looked at the man with the mask “I know the most important basics. I remember basic grammar rules and a good amount of vocabulary but I´m not that good in it. I didn´t worked with anything that included this language since years now.”, the masked man nodded and fully sat down now. “Would you be able to get back in it if you had some books and scripts to work with?”, slowly you understood where this was supposed to lead. You knew that if you said yes they would keep you as their prisoner and make your work for them. And if they had everything they would kill you because there would be no more use for you. But if you said no now and refused to talk to him he would probably also kill you. You were in a dilemma. You didn´t wanted to die but also didn´t wanted to die after you helped them. They were criminals. Feared and hated by the government and any human around the world. You looked down on your lap and let your head fall forward so your long black hair covered your face. “Hey I asked you something. Would you be able to do that?”, his voice was deep and rough but in the same time soft and gentle. That irritated you. it make you realize that him being nice to you now was just a way to get under your skin and make you do whatever they wanted. And then they simply would kill you in the most brutal and cruel way. “Hey, woman. Are you listening?”, you felt helpless. “I don´t want to die. Please let me go. Please. I beg you. Please.”, tears were streaming down you cheeks you couldn´t hold back anymore. He came closer and lifted you face. “Listen here you are a smart woman. Stop crying for fcks sake. If I would be you I would have made these pirates work for me. Use your damn brain and stop crying. Do you really think anyone in here would kill you? Heck no! They need your help. They need your brain because all of them are basically stupid. Like damn I need you to answer all of my questions before my captain with anger issues comes and beats the sht out of me. Now answer me woman. Are you able to get back in it if we got you some scripts to work on?”, you nodded while more tears streamed down you cheeks. You felt pathetic. You felt worthless and used. Helping them would turn you into a criminal too and ruin everything you worked on. Everything the emperor did for you and the island would be wasted. “See wasn’t that hard to answer.”

· The questioning went on for a while you didn´t know for how long but you knew that a long time passed since the sun stared to set. “Alright. Now I give you two options. One, stay here. Tied up on the mast no matter what kind of weather we face. Two you swear to obey me no matter what kind of order I give you and you will be able to sleep on a bed. You will get food and tomorrow you will start working on the scripts we give you. You choose.”, with your head hung lowly you said number two and instantly got released from the chains and handcuffs. He helped you stand up and covered you in the blanket before he led you into his cabin. “Wait here. Sit there and don´t do anything stupid as long as I´m not here. If you do anything stupid I won´t be able to help you. Got it?”, he didn´t even wait until you answered or gave any reaction he simply left and closed the door after him. So you waited while sitting with a lowly hung head. Minutes passed and he came back. “Your clothes are dirty. The bathroom is empty so you can take a bath or shower. Anything you want but I´ll be in the room with you. Because of one I have to make sure no one is coming in and secondly to watch over you and make sure you don´t do anything stupid. Got it. Fine. Take this towel and these clothes. We don´t have any female crewmates so you have to be wearing with my clothes until we dock on another island and you get to buy clothes.”

· The man with the mask took care of you for the rest of the day. He took you to shower and gave you fresh clothes. You had dinner with him alone in the kitchen when no one was around and got back to sleep. And no matter what you did he made sure to keep a respectful distance towards you. Whenever he had to come closer or touch you to take care of your wounds he would warn you. The day kept going like that. Nothing else was said about the following days and the thing they wanted you for. Only necessary things were said that were needed at the moment. And you only gave short replays or only answered with a head movement.

· Slowly the day passed by and the night took over with the moon putting the world alight. You were back in his cabin with him sitting on an armchair and you lying in bed sleeping with one hand tied up on the bed.

[blogging-time]

When I Kissed The Teacher

Dialogue Prompt List ��� Long List My Fic Masterlist

Prompt: “Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers.” - Logan and Roman. (Friendship) - Submitted by @louisthewarlock

Summary: Roman Crowne has just been dumped by yet another co-worker. Logan Sanders makes it his personal mission to console the heartbroken Spanish teacher while also convincing him to turn off that godforsaken ABBA soundtrack.

Warnings: Post Break-Up (Not Logince), Alcohol Mention.

Pairings: Platonic Logince/Foreshadowing Romantic Logince, Past Royality, Past Prinxiety, Past Roceit, Background Intruality.

Word Count: 1,688

~ ~ ~

“Well this seems like a perfectly healthy and not at all counter-intuitive way to conduct oneself post break-up,” Logan remarked as he slowly entered the almost vacant looking Spanish classroom.

The sight awaiting him was that of his co-worker – Roman Crowne – sitting slumped over a rather busy looking table, his unusually messy head of hair tucked uncomfortably between his hastily folded arms. Surrounding him were various pages that Logan couldn’t quite decipher, as well as some familiar looking textbooks that Roman would use to teach his sophomore classes when the school board once again forbid him from making “Pan’s Labyrinth” an official part of the school’s curriculum. The most notable item at Roman’s disposal however had to be his mobile phone, as it was currently playing “When I Kissed The Teacher,” repeatedly on Spotify.

“You know most people actually knock before inviting themselves into a colleague’s classroom, right?” Roman half-heartedly muttered against the cheap plywood.

“Well you should know that most teachers actually prefer to work at their own desks instead of downgrading to a small student’s table. I guess we’re both just feeling a little unconventional today.”

With a heavy sigh and even heavier limbs, the Spanish teacher finally mustered up the energy required to pry his face off the aforementioned table. As soon as the pair made eye-contact, Logan couldn’t help but smile sympathetically at Roman. No matter how many times he found the man in this heartbroken state his tearstained face simply never failed to upset him.

“There’s a window,” Roman responded vaguely before Logan could even make an awkward attempt to console him. Then, upon recognizing the science teacher’s confusion, he unenthusiastically waved his hand and explained, “There’s a window embedded in the door to this classroom – I’m sure you’re well aware of it. Had I chosen to lay about and wail over my lost love at my own desk then surely any old passer-by could have caught me in my moment of lament.”

As sympathetic as Logan was towards his friend’s situation, he still couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how dramatic the man was being.

“Janus Marshall merely terminated his relationship with you, Roman. He himself is not deceased.”

“Hark! For his love for me is dead at least – dead and buried beneath the heels of some younger, prettier thing! Its ghost takes the form of the man I once danced with, and it taunts me as I pass him by in the corridor on my way to lunch.”

“Would you kindly stop and think rationally for five minutes instead of writing another soliloquy?” Logan may sound exasperated, but in reality, he simply hates seeing his friend’s thoughts spiral out of control like this. “Janus made it abundantly clear to you months ago that he would be migrating to England at the end of the year in order to teach Psychology at Oxford. Since neither of you were ever interested in long-distance relationships, I thought this break-up would seem inevitable to you.”

Roman visibly deflated upon hearing such a logical argument, yet somehow Logan didn’t feel victorious.

“I know… I suppose I just got a little carried away again. Deep down I’d honestly hoped we’d be able to make it work.”

“But why?” Logan asked, “Why would you allow yourself to get your hopes up time and time again? Every time you’ve dated a colleague your relationship has ended within six months or less.”

“Now hold on just a moment, Charles Rush-In! Just because I happened to date – and consequently was dumped by – a few of my colleagues doesn’t mean having a relationship with one is inherently flawed and destined to fail.”

“While your current statistics would highly suggest otherwise, that isn’t the part that concerns me the most. What concerns me the most is that you’re clearly upset or made to feel uncomfortable every time you’re forced to work with an ex-partner.”

“Name one example.”

“Patton Hart.”

“You mean the Home Economics teacher? I love Patton! Well… not in that way… not anymore at least… Yeah things were a little awkward at first… and then things got awkward again eight months later when he asked if I would be okay with him dating my brother… but both of us are on very good terms now!”

Logan quirked an eyebrow at that, but ultimately decided it was Remus’ responsibility to tell Roman about his current engagement plans.

“Okay then, what about Virgil Rae?”

“Ah yes, the English teacher who never stopped reading too much into things.”

“You and him seem to argue a lot.”

“To be fair we also argued before and during our relationship too.”

Logan clicked his tongue in perfect time with ABBA before naming, “Janus Marshall.”

“That’s a fresh wound! It’s hardly fair for you to twist the knife in that!”

“I can’t help but disagree considering you’re currently spending your lunch break marking papers and crying in your classroom just to avoid encountering Janus – something you wouldn’t have to do if he wasn’t your colleague.”

Roman couldn’t deflate anymore, so instead he was forced to sink further down in his admittedly rather uncomfortable plastic chair. Mentally he made a note to stop by the thrift store and his aunt Dot’s place after work to see if he could somehow acquire twenty-six cheap cushions that would make hour long lessons in these chairs more comfortable for his students.

“Why are you so determined to prove the successful office romance trope is unattainable?” he asked in a voice that already sounded so defeated.

“Why are you so determined to prove me wrong?” Logan countered.

Roman met Logan’s eyes for just a moment before completely averting his gaze. Logan coughed into his elbow for just a second in a manner that conveniently covered both of his cheeks. A minute passed, and neither man acknowledged either his or his co-worker’s sudden actions.

Eventually Logan decided to break that uncomfortable minute of silence with a sigh of his own.

“Do you have another class immediately after lunch?”

“Not today. I was supposed to be teaching Freshman Spanish for the next hour, but apparently Principal Sanders has called in a public speaker. I won’t have a class again until last period. How about you?”

“It appears I’m in a similar situation. I typically have the hour free after lunch on a Thursday until my Juniors come in for their Chemistry class at 2PM. If the circumstances today were any different then I would undoubtedly use this time to either grade my students most recent homework or to formulate a lesson plan for next week.”

“If the circumstances were any different?” Roman asked with a raised eyebrow and an only slightly watery eye.

“I have a bottle of Chardonnay in my car,” Logan answered. Then, upon recognizing the Spanish teacher’s concern, he quickly waved his hands and explained, “Your brother gifted it to me a few weeks ago, stating that it may help me to ‘loosen up around handsome men,’ - only he used far more vulgar phrasing than I. I can assure you that I would never drink and drive. I’ve simply never felt the need to consume alcohol since receiving the gift, and so I let the bottle sit forgotten in my car until now.”

“What? I haven’t driven you to drink already have I?” Roman joked, but Logan didn’t miss the way another silent tear disobediently slid down his still reddened cheeks.

Again, neither man acknowledged the sudden presence of emotion.

“Believe me, Roman, if any Crowne were ever going to drive me to drink then it would most certainly be that unfathomable brother of yours. My idea was more along the lines of… well…” The science teacher paused for a moment as he remembered how much more important Roman was to him than his reputation. “Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers.”

Upon proposing the idea, Logan let out a nervous breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding. Despite the simplicity of their plan, inviting Roman to share a glass of wine with him during work hours just so that they could say negative things about their generally very respectable colleagues to him felt so deeply personal and borderline exhilarating.

Roman must have recognised how much the offer meant to Logan, as he too seemed shocked that the usually oh-so calm and collected science teacher would propose something so unorthodox.

“You want to share a drink with me now?”

“Well encountering your colleagues won’t be an issue after work hours – Perhaps if we start highlighting all of their potential flaws now, you’ll be less inclined to test fate and pursue another doomed relationship with one of them later.”

“Hey!” Roman shouted incredulously, but he was genuinely laughing now.

The sound was so infectious that his co-worker soon found himself chuckling quietly to himself.

“I’ll ask the canteen staff if they can spare two small cups so we don’t drink too much,” Logan offered, “Plus I keep more than enough spare change in my wallet at all times to ensure we can afford a cab ride home. We won’t be stranded here at school if you accept. All I ask in return is that you turn off that infuriating song – I’ve heard it more than enough times now, thank you very much.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr Berry,” Roman responded, his lips forming a playful smirk as he pretended to mull the proposition over. “What album would you suggest we listen to in its place?”

“How about ‘The Wall’ by Pink Floyd? I believe I still have that cassette sitting in my car right now, along with ‘The Dark Side of the Moon.’”

“Oh, wow…” Roman drawled as he blinked his eyes rapidly in only semi-feigned surprise. “I think you just aged ten years for every word you just said, Lograndad.”

“Of course, you can always just sit here and listen to the sound of Janus’ voice instead.”

“On second thought-” Roman announced, standing up rather quickly as he grabbed his nearby coat and bag, “-Pink Floyd sounds like an excellent choice. Why don’t you lead the way?”

~ ~ ~

General Tag-List:

@sholaghhh (Formerly @lunamay2006) @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @saphael-malec102 @anastasialestina @seraphlies 

Additional Tags:

@sympathetic-deceit-trash

Note: It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a fic, so this tag-list may be a little outdated. If at any point you want to be added/removed from my tag-list then feel free to let me know!

As always, feedback is much appreciated! I was pretty out of practice here, so I’m sure I’d benefit a lot from constructive criticism!

For spelling, punctuation and grammar I followed Microsoft Word's English (UK) rules. Feel free to correct any errors you may find in the comments, but please keep in mind that some words are spelt differently here in the UK! 

I hope you’re all have a fan-der-tastic day!

~ ~ ~

[checkurwindow]

ten ways

Book: Open Heart

Warning: So sweet your dentist would be concerned Rating: General Pairing: Bryce x F!MC Word count: 6500+ Author’s note: I finally wrote something that isn’t angst and oh god is it long. I spent so much time on this so please please consider reblogging and let me know what you thought of it, and maybe check out my masterlist while you’re at it.

1.

There was truly no better way to start off senior year than arriving late to her first class. 

In her defense, she had left the house early. For once in her life, she was actually going to be early to school. She was so proud of herself, and was so certain that she had extra time that she allowed herself to stop at a drive-thru and get a drink as a reward to herself. Everything was going according to plan. 

That is, until the lady in the car in front of her decided she wasn’t pleased with her order and made the barista redo it; and to make sure he didn’t mess up her order a second time, the barista was extra careful. And extra slow. 

She groaned as she watched the time tick pass minute by minute. Just her luck. 

She watched the barista hand the drink to the lady in front and breathed a sigh of relief. Yet, the car didn’t move, not a single inch. The drink was already in her hand, but the lady just had to continue to talk with the barista. 

She cursed under her breath and banged her head on the steering wheel in frustration. She must’ve been more aggressive than she was expecting, because her horn went off, and loudly at that.

She jumped back in shock at the noise. The lady poked her head out of her car window and immediately began lecturing her on how rude she was being. At least, that’s what she assumed she was saying, she really couldn’t hear her with her windows rolled up. She bit her lip, gave a little wave, and mouthed an apology.

Eventually, the lady finished her rant and left the drive-thru. She got her drink, no longer a reward and more of a consolation, and sped to school.

There weren’t any other students in the parking lot by the time she got there, only a reminder of just how late she was. Shoving all her things back inside her backpack, she locked the door and hurried into the building.

Of course, her first class just had to be with Mr. Anderson. Any other teacher would have just let her tardiness slide, but not him, never him. She opened the door to his classroom, and any conversation that had been going on stopped. 

More than a dozen pairs of eyes turned their attention to her, and she wanted to melt into the floor right then and there. 

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Mr. Anderson addressed her. He narrowed his eyes at the nervous student, leaning against his desk as he sized her up, “if you’re done being a distraction to my class, I’d appreciate it if you would take a seat.

She swallowed roughly and nodded. He went back to lecturing the class on how his classes would be conducted, and she did her best to find a seat as quietly as she could. Instinctively, she made her way over to where her friends were sitting.

Bryce moved his backpack off the desk next to him and quietly whispered, “I saved you a seat.” 

She gave him a grateful smile and mouthed back a ‘thanks’.

Sienna leaned forward, “Anderson really wasn’t amused with you, huh?”

“I swear he hates me,” she insisted.

Bryce rolled his eyes, “he doesn’t hate you, Boo.”

“Bryce is right,” she said, “everyone knows he just hates women,” she stressed the last part with exaggerated disgust.

2. 

Late-night study sessions had evolved to become code for hanging out at Danny’s house and messing around. 

Sienna was dating Danny, so naturally, she had become friends with him and his friends by association. Sienna, Aurora, and her were actually trying to study. Danny and Elijah were discussing the school football team’s chances of winning their next game, and Jackie and Bryce were in the kitchen getting snacks and undoubtedly bickering about something completely irrelevant. 

“Okay, Sienna,” Aurora held up a flashcard, “what can you tell me about the defenestration of Prague?” 

“Uh, people were thrown out of windows for fun?” She replied, barely having read that chapter of the textbook.

“No- well, actually, I suppose you’re technically not completely wrong.”

She let her body fall back against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. If she had to stay there any longer, she would’ve thrown herself out the window. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hang out with her friends, it was just that after a long day of school, she wasn’t exactly thrilled to spend more time with the people she had already spent most of the day with. 

“Sorry I’m late, I just spent the better part of the last hour trying to explain to a group of freshmen that I won’t be dating or teaching “my ways” to any one of them,” he shuddered dramatically as he walked into the living room where everyone was.

“Ah yes, I almost forgot I was friends with the Bryce Lahela,” she said overdramatically.

He rolled his eyes but decided to amuse her nonetheless, “what can I say, I’m just clearly superior.”

She scoffed but refused to dignify him with any further response. Instead, she closed her eyes and pretended she was back at home under her warm, soft covers. 

“I brought you food.”

That caught her attention. Cautiously opening an eye to see if he was telling the truth, she was met with the sight of him holding up a bag of fast food that he must have picked up on his way over. She couldn’t help the growing smile on her face as she sat upright. 

“For me?” She asked.

“Of course, Munchkin” he handed the bag over to her, “you skipped lunch to finish up the science project you were behind on and I’m certain you haven’t gotten around to eating anything yet,” he said confidently.

She happily pulled an order of large fries out of the bag, “have I ever told you how amazing you are, Bryce?”

He smiled, “not often enough.”

“Well, you are. So amazing.”

She had just finished the fries and was looking through the back to see what else he had gotten her when Danny called out to her.

“What are your thoughts on Rafael?” He asked.

“Aveiro?”

“Yep.”

She tilted her head, “he’s okay, pretty cute. Why?”

“He told me he likes you, even wanted me to ask if you were single?” Danny said nonchalantly.

Sienna immediately got invested and joined in on the conversation, “she is very single, and I for one think they would be a great couple!”

She could feel her cheeks begin to heat up, and suddenly she found the hardwood floors very interesting, “I don’t know…he actually likes me?”

“That’s what he told me,” Danny replied, “can I give him your number?”

She weighed her options before giving a careless shrug, “Yeah, why not?” 

“You and Rafael? I knew this day would come,” Aurora commented.

“Okay, we’ve talked about this long enough. We need to study,” she insisted, pulling out her textbook.

“I’d rather not fail this test,” Bryce agreed.

Everyone begrudgingly went back to their previous activities, and Bryce took that opportunity to fill up the space next to her on the couch. She flipped through pages of her textbook before coming to a stop. She passed the textbook to Bryce and pointed to a large picture on the page.

“This one’s my favourite,” she said. 

“Wanderer above the Sea of Fog,” he read,  “you’re a fan of Caspar David Friedrich?”

She shrugged, “I guess I’m just a fan of the Romantic moment in general. Everything was so creative and beautiful. I just think it’s crazy how this painting holds so much emotion.”

Bryce frowned, looked at the painting, then back at her, “it certainly is romantic.”

She gave the painting one last look before she began flipping through the pages of the textbook again. Bryce watched her curiously as she read over the vocabulary words for that week. After a while, he decided to say what was on his mind. 

“So,” he broke the silence, “you and Rafael, huh?”

“Yeah,” suddenly, the furry carpet on the floor looked beyond interesting, “I used to have a crush on him in middle school, remember?”

His mouth broke out into a smile, “Sienna and I used to tease you about it all the time! No wonder you’re so bad at chemistry,” he joked. 

“I happen to be pretty extraordinary at chemistry, thank you very much.”

“Hm, I think that botched experiment that nearly killed Mrs. Durnam tells a very different story,” he said, and she playfully punched his arm. 

“She’s still alive, isn’t he? Plus, you were the one who didn’t make me double-check!”

He had an amused look on his face, “keep telling that to yourself, babe.”

3.

He was tired, the sheets were too hot. It had been a long day, his body was exhausted. The air in his bedroom was too cold, his mind was tired, too. If he would just close his eyes and stop thinking, he’d be asleep in mere minutes. Now the sheets were hot again, so he kicked them off. Then the air was too cold, so he pulled the sheets over him again. Not thinking ironically proved to be harder than perceived. Go then if you must, but remember, no matter how fooli- damn it, Sophocles, damn your terribly beautiful words.

Bryce threw the covers onto the other side of the bed and sat up. He wasn’t going to get much sleep that night no matter how hard he tried, anyway, no need to lie to himself. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, if there even had been any sleep in the first place.

There was no doubt that he was tired both mentally and physically. But emotionally? His heart was eternally restless when it came that. He crossed his room and sat down at the expensive wooden desk, fully accepting that getting any rest that night was no longer a viable option.

The bright light from his computer was a harsh contrast to the darkness of the room, but his eyes adjusted soon enough. Bryce didn’t even know what he was doing on his computer in the middle of the night. 

But his subconscious knew. His fingers opened up the application and started scrolling. No, no, yes. God, no. yes, definitely, perfect. And that went on for an hour or so, though Bryce wasn’t exactly keeping track of time. He’d be near-dead at sunrise, but he wasn’t going to get any sleep until he finished. 

When he actually did finish, he smiled contentedly to himself. A wave of calmness washed over him, and before he knew it, he was face down and lost in his dreams asleep.

He looked terrible the next morning. Well, as terrible as Bryce Lahela could look. He still dressed as great as always, even styling his hair with a little more volume than usual. He was still sharp as ever in class, but anyone who really knew him could tell that he was a total mess. 

“Hey, you okay?” She asked during lunch in Mr. Jericho’s classroom (He had been kind enough to let a bunch of teenagers spend lunch in his class; the cafeteria just wasn't cool enough for them).

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

She cocked her head to one side, “no you aren’t, spill.”

“Don’t worry about me. I actually have a little something for you,” Bryce fished his phone out of his pocket.

“You have something for me?”

“Sending it now. Aaaand…...check your phone!”

She raised an eyebrow and cautiously unlocked her phone to look at the text he had sent to her.

“Sophocles and Serotonin,” she read off her phone, “ what is this?” 

“I made you a playlist of songs that I thought you’d like.”

“Seriously?” A smile emerged on her lips, and Bryce couldn’t help himself but to reflect it, “When did you even have the time for this?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, “I happened to have free time last night.”

“With Mr. Anderson's early deadlines? I smell a steaming hot pile of bullshit, Lahela,” She looked up at him, a teasing lilt prominent in her tone, “I appreciate the playlist even more now that I know you took the time out of your night to make it. Thank you, Bryce.”

She leaned forward on the desk she was seated on and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He froze like a deer in headlights, and if she noticed, she definitely didn’t say anything. He compiled himself back together before she could notice that his usual smirk wasn’t as smug as it usually was, and leaned back against the desk behind him in an attempt to look cool. 

“So, what’re you doing after school?” He asked in his best casual voice. 

“Rafael and I are going to see a movie.”

“That’s actually still a thing?”

She shot him a look that made him raise his hands up in surrender, “Yes, it’s still a thing. He’s a good guy, I really like him.” 

“But is he good enough for you?” He crossed his arms, eyes not leaving hers. It wasn’t that Bryce didn’t like Rafael. Rafael was great, but no guy would ever be good enough for his best friend. 

“He is,” She said with an eye roll, “why do you care anyway?”

“Just looking out for you, Sweetheart.”

“I can take care of myself perfectly fine, Scout.”

His eyebrows shot up his forehead, an impressed look across his face, “trust me, I know.”

4. 

Summer felt like an eternity ago, when in reality, it had been less than two months ago The yellow-orange leaves and updated Starbucks menu was enough to convince anyone that it was already October. 

It took a lot of sweet-talking and a tiny bit of bribery to convince Bryce to attend the Homecoming football game, but with Sienna’s assistance, she eventually got him to cave. She wanted him there, but more importantly, she wanted him to give her a ride there. 

Of course, she could have taken her own car, but she would much rather not waste her own gas when she could take advantage of his instead. It wasn’t like it mattered to him, his parents paid for his car, insurance, and gas anyway. Plus, the seat warming function in his cushy Mercedes Benz was a huge incentive.

She spent most of the ride over to the stadium raving over the seat warmers, and he spent most of the ride making fun of how obsessed she was with said seat warmer. Eventually, they parked outside and paid for the entrance fees. 

“It’s kinda co-” before she could even finish her sentence remarking the cold weather, Bryce handed her a comfy looking (and feeling) sweatshirt. She looked down at the maroon sweatshirt, then back at him, her mouth slightly ajar, “You brought an extra sweatshirt for me? I didn’t even ask.”

“You didn’t need to,” he shrugged. 

She put on the sweatshirt and stared at him with wide eyes. Bryce glanced at her, bit the inside of his lip, then shook his head, “Don’t go thinking I care about you or anything now, Lovey. I couldn’t have you taking the sweatshirt I’m wearing, then I’d freeze up. 

She looked up at him with a smug grin on her face that made him regret bringing her the sweatshirt in the first place, “Yeah? Is that really all it was?”

“Yes, that’s all, Sunshine,” he did his best to act all annoyed by her questioning, but instead found it endearing in the end. 

It took him a moment, but eventually, he came up with a half-decent excuse, “besides, you know my grandma would kill me if she knew I let you freeze. I swear, sometimes it seems like she loves you more than she loves me.”

“That’s because she does,” she pointed it out like it was the only possibility, “can you blame her? I’m funny and adorable. You’re just a grumpy old man that I had to drag to this game.”

“That’s it. Take the sweatshirt off, I hope you freeze,” he said with the dirtiest look he could muster and she had the audacity to throw her head back and laugh.

She reached into her bag, and after digging around, she pulled a five-dollar bill out of her wallet. Thrusting the money into Bryce’s hand and pushing him in the direction of the concession stand, “here, go get some popcorn for us. Maybe then you won’t be so irritable once you get some food in you, I’ll find us some good seats.’

Bryce grumbled something about “you’re irritable” but nonetheless ventured off towards the concession stand. 

She climbed the steps up the stadium and immediately found Sienna and Danny sitting in the student section, all decked out in their school colours and face paint. Sienna greeted her with a warm hug. 

Pulling back, Sienna took note of what she was wearing, “is that Bryce’s?”

She looked down at the Stanford sweatshirt she had wrapped around herself, “Oh yes, it’s pretty comfortable, actually.”

Sienna pursed her lips and mulled over the new information, “What’s going on between the two of you?”

“What do you mean? We’re friends,” she shrugged.

“And Bryce knows that?” She paused, “Do you know that?”

She narrowed her eyes at Sienna, “Yes, of course I know that. I’m dating Rafael now, okay? Bryce and I have always just been friends, and that's all we’ll ever be.” Sienna nodded her head, “Okay, okay. If you say so, I believe you. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt, I care about both of you.”

“There aren’t any feelings between Bryce and I, don’t worry,” she said, but those words didn’t leave her mind for the rest of the night.

5. 

Bryce had spent a significant amount of the week dreaming about the coffee and cookie dough ice cream that was waiting for him in the freezer.

It was his favourite flavour, and there was just enough left in the carton for one last bowl of that sweet sweet goodness of a food. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t eat the last of it until he really deserved to. After spending his afternoon being productive and studying for the test he had tomorrow, he decided that he finally earned that delectable bowl of unhealthy but utterly delicious caramel-colored ice cream. 

He made his way down to the kitchen, humming an upbeat tune and sliding across the smooth marble floor in his most comfortable pair of socks. Bryce had made it all the way to the freezer, barely moments away from the compartment holding his currently most prized possession when a hasty knock at the front door stopped him in his tracks.

He paused. He was oh so close to getting to his ice cream; maybe it was just a delivery? He debated answering the door or ignoring it and getting the ice cream first. He was starting to lean towards just going for his bowl of ice cream when there was a knock at the door again. With a scowl on his face, he abandoned the freezer and any hope for happiness he had left and made his way to the front door.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He said in surprise when he saw who was standing at her doorstep.

“I didn’t know who else to go to. Sienna’s out with Danny, and Aurora and Jackie aren’t good in situations like this,” she spoke quietly and sniffled in between sentences, trying not to let any more tears fall down her cheek, “sorry, I just-”

He interrupted her by pulling her into the darkening sky and into his house and arms. She melted into his touch and gripped his shirt tightly as she hugged him back. 

“What happened?” he asked softly, rubbing circles into her back with his thumbs.

“Rafael and I broke up.”

Bryce sighed softly and rested his chin on her head. He bit his lip and weighed the options in front of him, before he came to a reluctant conclusion. He pulled away just enough so that he could look her in her teary bloodshot eyes.

“I think this is the part where we break out the ice cream.”

She offered him a slightly trembling smile, “ice cream couldn’t hurt.”

He led her to the kitchen and began digging through the freezer while she hopped onto the counter beside him. He hid a frown from her while in the process of pulling the nearly empty carton of coffee and cookie dough ice cream out of the freezer.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Bryce asked, retrieving a bowl from one of the cabinets.

“It wasn’t even a bad break up,” Despite her words, she still wiped at her tears using the sleeves of her shirt, “we mutually agreed that it was best for both of us.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “he’s just...not the one, I guess.”

Bryce felt something twist and turn in his stomach, and he knew it wasn’t right to be happy when his friend was so miserable, but he was anyway. He did his best to hide the smile that wanted to form at the corners of his mouth, “I’m sorry, Cupcake.”

She laughed, “Cupcake?”

He rolled his eyes, but the grin on his face remained, “I’m trying something new, okay? Running out of nicknames.”

She couldn’t help but match his infectious smile, “you’re not gonna have any ice cream?” she asked as he passed her the bowl.

“Nah, not in the mood for it,” he lied.

6. 

“Did you get enough sleep last night, Hon?” She was already in mid-yawn when he had asked the question.

She held a hand over her mouth and nodded, “yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You look terrible.”

She scowled at him, “wow, just what a girl wants to hear. Anyone ever tell you you’re one hell of a charmer, Lahela?”

“You’d be surprised, actually,” he gave her a teasing smile, “so who’s the cause for your sleepless night?”

“Napoleon Bonaparte.” She made an emphasis on the textbook in her hands, “Why’d I ever let you convince me to take an AP class with you?”

“Because you so desperately enjoy spending time with me?”

“Nah, that’s not it.”

“Ouch,” Bryce held a hand over his heart, “you really stayed up late studying for the quiz?”

“Some people have to study, okay? Not everyone is as gifted as Bryce flippin’ Lahela.”

“Flippin’? Really?” He stifled a laugh.

“We’re at school, gotta keep it PG,” she shrugged, “so yeah, I stay up and study sometimes. High schoolers aren’t supposed to get a normal amount of sleep, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes I worry about you.”

She tilted her head to the side and gave him a small smile, “you don’t need to worry about me, Bry.” 

“Believe me, if I could just shut it off, I would. Look, I’ll make you a stack of flashcards next time so you can get more sleep.”

She was about to say something in response when her phone rang in her pocket, “I should get this.”

She went out into the hallway to answer the call, and Bryce turned back to his lunch, not even bothering to hide his growing smile. 

“Bryce.”

He jumped at the sound of a voice and turned to see Sienna sitting at the desk across from him. Had she been listening to them the whole time? He had completely forgotten she was there; a fact he certainly wasn’t about to share with her. 

“Yes, Sienna?”

“Do you have a crush on her?”

Bryce blinked a few times, certain that he hadn’t heard Sienna right, “Excuse me?

Sienna rolled her eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “You heard me right. I’m not blind, Bryce. I see the way you look at her when you think no one is focusing. Do you have a crush on her?”

“That’s ridiculous, where’d you even get the idea from?”” He made a face like he was disgusted by the very thought of it. 

“Oh, I dunno, you just do whatever it takes to make her happy. Not to mention that you have a different pet name for her every time I see you two, seems pretty affectionate to me, Bryce.” She did always have a talent for laying out the facts.

“We’ve been friends since before I could remember, of course I care about her. And so what if I have a nickname for her? It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s not like you have a nickname for anyone else.”

“I call you...Si...all the time,” he paused to rethink what he just said, “I have a nickname for everyone.” 

“We both know that’s a load of B.S, are you really telling me that you don’t like her?”

“I don’t like her,” and it wasn’t an exact lie, because the feelings he had for her had progressed far beyond liking. 

7. 

“There’s nothing people appreciate more than a hand-made gift, right?” She said and pulled out a ball of azure coloured yarn.

Bryce crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against a wall, “Sure, except maybe a nice Rolex or a new car.”

She gave him a look, “I don’t know what it is about me that makes you think I can afford a Rolex or a new car. I’m an unemployed high school student, my only income comes in the form of birthday cards from my grandparents.”

“Well, I’m sure Sienna will love the scarf you make for her.”

“Yeah, how hard could it be?” She muttered and stared blankly at the mess of strings in her lap.

His eyes widened a little, “Wait, you’re telling me you’ve never crocheted before?”

“I'll get the hang of it soon enough,” she pulled up a beginners guide on YouTube, and five minutes later, she had a knotted pile of yarn in her hands. She huffed in frustration and began to aggressively pull at the yarn.

“Let me help you.”

“You? Know how to knit?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. 

Bryce rolled his eyes, sitting next to her and taking the “scarf” out of her hands, “This is crocheting. You don’t even use knitting needles”

“Apologies. And how do you even know how to crochet?” 

“I may or may not have taken lessons a couple summers back to impress Alisson Rivers?” He admitted, quickly untangling her “progress” and began to expertly thread the loops of yarn together. He held up his work to her once a pattern had begun to form, “being incredibly sexy has its perks,” he jokingly winked at her. 

“I hate that you’re good at everything.”

He snorted and gently began to move the work into her hands for her to finish the rest, “Not everything, maybe just most things.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,”  She waved him off, now laser-focused on the project in front of her and determined to get it right that time. Bryce gave her tips and advice every once in a while, but for the most part, he let her work on it by herself. She was a fast learner. 

“Sweethea-” Bryce cut himself off, remembering the conversation he had with Sienna earlier. He cleared his throat, “you’re never gonna get it like that.”

She looked up at him with furrowed brows, “What?” He swallowed roughly and shook his head, “It’s nothing. Just...you’re going to wanna pull the yarn a little tighter or it’s all going to unravel before you’re even finished.”

“Oh,” She gave him a thankful smile, “thanks, Bryce.”

8.

It was almost 2 in the morning, and she knew that getting any more than four of sleep was out of the equation at that point. She wasn’t exactly trying very hard to sleep. She had tried to refresh her Instagram feed maybe two dozen times now, but it wasn’t as if anyone was going to post in the middle of the night. And even so, Instagram was doing a fairly poor job at keeping her mind distracted. 

Sighing out in frustration, she threw her body back onto her bed with a loud sigh. She wrinkled her nose and finally caved in to her temptations, navigating to the facetime app on her phone. Hesitating one last time, she tapped his contact with her thumb. The phone began to hum as she waited for him to pick up. 

“Hey, Bry. I know it’s late,” she said when he finally answered the phone. She frowned when he realised he was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, “sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” replied his groggy and raspy voice. 

“I know you’re lying, Bryce. Don’t worry about it, go back to sleep”

“I was already up.”

“No, you weren’t. It’s really fine, don’t let me bother you.

He stopped rubbing his eyes and looked at her firmly through the camera, “Maybe I was asleep, but I’m up now, aren’t I? Don’t worry about waking me up. Besides, I’d much rather be talking to you.’

She pursed her lips, giving him a doubtful look. He was too polite to ever tell her if she was bothering him. She couldn’t tell if he genuinely wanted to talk to her, or if he was too courteous to tell her otherwise.

He noticed the look she gave him, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t believe me. I would’ve stopped being friends with you years ago if I didn’t find all your annoying habits endearing as hell. I promise,” he shot her a smug smile that almost made her wish she hadn’t called him up. 

“How kind of you,” she said sarcastically.

“I try,” his grin widened, if that were even possible, “so what did you want to talk to me about?” 

She chewed on her bottom lip and shrugged, “I dunno.”

“You don’t?” Bryce narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to the camera. After he had examined her carefully, he leaned back and crossed his arms, “Yeah you do. What is it?”

She shifted uncomfortably by how easy it was for him to see right through her. Once more that night, she caved, “Earlier, when you told me to tighten the yarn. You stopped yourself from calling me ‘sweetheart’.”

He tensed, but she didn’t notice, “I mean, what’s so unusual about that? That's a perfectly normal thing for someone to do.”

“I know,” she nodded, “but you always call me some cheesy pet name. Always. So, did something happen? Are you mad at me?”

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, “No, of course not. Everything’s fine,” he paused, “that really upset you?”

“It’s just that you’ve always had a nickname for me, I guess I got used to it.”

He laughed through his nose and couldn’t stop the amused smile from spreading across his lips, “Okay, Boo.”

9. 

“Am I finally going to get to see your mural?”

Bryce rolled his eyes, “It isn’t my mural, Love. It’s the senior mural, it’s not like I’m painting it.”

“Yeah, but it was your idea,” she gave him a playful nudge, “I don’t know why you haven’t told me what it is yet. I’m sure if the amazing Bryce Lahela designed it, it’ll be the best senior mural this school has ever seen. 

“Don’t get your hopes up, Babe. I’d hate to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me,” she said matter-of-factly, “you’re Bryce Lahela.”

They turned the corner to see their fellow senior, Kyra Santana, working on the mural. The previously beige wall was now covered in black, gray, and light blue paint. In the middle of the painting was a figure made up of colourful handprints standing above the blue-gray ocean in front of them. 

She stared at the mural with an open mouth. She glanced from Kyra, to Bryce, then back to the artwork in front of her.

“It was my idea to make the figure all colourful with the handprints,” Bryce said, “I thought it would be nice to let our class literally leave a mark on this school.”

Kyra smiled at the mural and set her paintbrush down, “I was a great idea, the splash of colour is just what it needed,” she turned to her, “what do you think?”

“Like it? No, I...I love it, it’s perfect,” she turned to Bryce with wide eyes, “Wanderer above the Sea of Fog, this is my favourite painting.”

“I noticed--don’t give me that look. It’s not like I care that much, you just never shut up about this painting. It’s annoying, really,” he muttered, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at his shoes.

She smiled and turned her attention back to the mural, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this. I can’t believe you remembered.”

“Of course. It’s worth it, seeing how much you like it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“You’re the kind of person I could fall in love with, you know that?” She didn’t take her eyes off the wall that the mural proudly sat on, and Bryce was glad.

Maybe if she had looked at him, she would have seen his breath catch in his throat and his eyes widen just a little bit. If he was the kind of person she could fall in love with, then why didn’t she? Bryce was flustered, and if she had noticed his lack of response, she didn’t mention it.

10.

Their high school was filled with rich kids. Their high school also had a debate team with a minimal number of members. These factors resulted in Bryce and her having their own separate hotel rooms when they attended a debate function in Washington D.C.

After a long day of debating and watching other teams debate, she and Bryce walked side by side down the narrow corridor to their respective rooms. Every now and then, they sneaked looks at each other when they thought the other wouldn’t notice.

Bryce cleared his throat, “So that guy in the blue shirt asked me for your number.”

She glanced up at him, “He did? Did you give it to him?”

“No.”

“What? Why not?”

“Thought he was out of your league. I told him you snored like an ogre and gave him Jackie’s number instead,” he said with a careless shrug.

She gasped and shoved his shoulder, “Are you kidding me? You know I don’t snore, he was cute and interested in me!”

“Can’t imagine why.”

She scowled, “For your information, I’m adorable. I’m funny, enjoyable to be around, and have a high tolerance for assholes who shut down opportunities for their friends. And I’m extremely attractive, which is an added plus.”

“You don’t need to sell me on reasons why you’re dateable,” he chuckled softly.

“Oh yeah?”

At that very moment, they turned to face each other. Their teasing banter stopped when they realised that they were only inches apart, able to hear every inhale and exhale of the other. His gaze flickered down to her lips, and it was only for a second, but she hadn’t missed a single bit of it. 

Bryce took a step back and cleared his throat, standing rather uncomfortably, “It’s late, we should go to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” she echoed before they both hurriedly turned around and stepped into their own rooms.

Had he almost kissed her? Did that really just happen? Her mind wandered as she leaned against her hotel room door. 

Maybe she had just imagined it. She shook the thought out of her head and grabbed a sweatshirt along with a pair of shorts out of her suitcase. Maybe she would stop thinking about it after a good night's rest. She changed, brushed her teeth, and was about to turn the lights off when she felt that nagging feeling bubble up in the pits of her stomach once more.

It was naive to think her mind would stop racing that night if she didn’t confront Bryce about it. She set the covers that were in her hands down and made her way out into the fluorescent-lit hallway. She had made it all the way to his door when she stopped herself. 

Was that really what she wanted to do? If she brought up their almost-kiss, would they ever be able to go back to being friends? Did she even want them to go back to being just friends? She bit her lip and glanced back at her own room door. She should’ve just gone to bed, it wasn’t worth putting their entire friendship on the line. But then again, she would always wonder what could have happened if she never followed her gut.

She raised her fist to knock on his door, but before she could make contact, the door swung open. They once more stood face to face, their wide-eyed expressions mirroring each other. For a moment in time, all that stood between them were the accelerated heartbeat and the flutters they felt for one another. 

Bryce’s arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Her hand had found its place on the back of his neck and guided his lips to hers. His eyes were half-open, sneaking glances at her to assure himself that he wasn’t dreaming. Her overwhelming scent and the feeling of his hands threaded through her hair were all too real.

He pulled her into his room, kicking the closed door behind him. Placing both hands on his broad chest, she pushed him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.

Thoughts were racing in her mind. She tried to put reason to the way he gripped her waist so tightly that there were sure to be bruises there the very next day. She tried to put reason to the way his pupils dilated as she went in for another kiss; she came up empty-handed. 

There was no way she felt the same, Bryce told himself. There was no way that she loved him the way he loved her. For as long as he could remember, he had been in love with her, and for as long as he could remember, she had only seen him as her friend.

He missed the warmth of her lips when she pulled away, but he couldn’t help but admire the way her lips were slightly swollen and her hair was a mess. Her eyes were mesmerising, and the way the light highlighted the softness of her skin made him fall even more. He took that moment to memorise every line and curve of her face, forever branding that memory into his head. 

She leaned in to kiss him again, but he pushed her away this time and sat up, “Stop. we...we can’t do this.  This can’t just be a one-time thing.”

“What?”

He felt his heart twist inside his chest and he clenched his jaw, “Because I love you.”

Her lips curled up in a smile, “I love you too.”