#in other news whenever I try to romance that man I experience ego death

[confier-boyfriend]

Hate it when people bully my wizard husband. Sorry he’s a fucking nuclear bomb and a nerd just coming out of isolation. I feel sorry for him that you’re one of the first friends he’s had in a long time. Literally the best guy and you’re going to torment him.

[bludhavents]

things that each greaser struggles with:

these are mostly headcanons i came up with. also, this gets pretty angsty.

content warning: alcoholism, addiction, anxiety.

darry:

- maturity. he thinks everybody looks at him like the “dad” of the group instead of just another friend, and he loathes it. he misses whenever he was able to skip work to catch a movie at the drive-in or take ponyboy and sodapop up to the dingo for lunch.

- accidental intimidation. his build is very large and strong, which is good for his job and for when he’s actually trying to, well, intimidate people, but other than that it just makes him feel guilty for being so unapproachable.

- relationships. specifically, darry is very insecure in his relationship with pony. he especially hates it whenever pony dogs on him for forgetting things or accusing him of not caring.

- emotional intelligence. he knows he comes across as cold. and he hates it. he has lots of emotions and he doesn’t air them out in a healthy way, so he tries his best to cut all the emotions off altogether in hopes that the negativity will stop, but it just makes him feel even more insecure.

- social skills. in high school, it was all much easier for him, but now that he’s working full-time and running the household, he’s fallen majorly behind in the social scene. he never goes out to the drive-in or to the dingo, and at first it was because he was too busy, but now, even if he doesn’t have a shift, he’ll make up some excuse because he’s too nervous to go and have to talk to people again since he feels like he’s gonna mess up.

- identity. darry was just starting to feel comfortable in himself and in his role in the world right before his parents died, and when they did, he stopped trying to figure out what made him happy. it has made him insecure of the emotional stint that is centered around his ego and sense of self.

sodapop:

- smarts. it’s canon that he’s insecure about this.

- growing up. while everybody else moves on to new things and grows up, he feels like he’s stuck in the same place watching everybody else progress while he stays behind. this was especially true after sandy left, because marrying her was going to be this huge exciting step in his life and when she left, he didn’t have that fulfillment anymore.

- reassurance. he feels a constant need for approval, and he will take it wherever he can get it. there’s a sort of pride he gets whenever he sees a girl checking him out, but there’s a deeper feeling telling him that she’s gonna run away once she finds out about how ‘stupid’ he is.

- authority. soda has a really hard time talking to people who are in a position of power. he gets all nervous and his hands get sweaty and his face goes sheet white in panic. his charm and social skill is enough to satisfy a conversation with a person his age, but he feels silly trying to be confident in front of an adult. he feels like they look down on him and will laugh.

- fatherhood. he’s very insecure about having a family in the future. he feels like he never appreciated his dad’s skilled parenting while he could, and since then darry has been a sort of fatherly figure in the house, but it’s hard for soda to see it that way. he grew up for 16 years with darry as a big brother and for him to suddenly be forced into a father role is troubling for soda. because of this complicated dynamic between soda and fatherhood, he feels like he won’t be able to be the best father possible for his children.

- legs. he hates his legs. you will never see soda in a pair of shorts, not even when he’s swimming. he doesn’t like the way they’re shaped and thinks that they make the rest of his body look odd, so he wears loose jeans to hide them. he’s also embarrassed of being embarrassed about them, so nobody knows, not even steve.

dallas:

- emotional intelligence. his lack of emotional intelligence is something he battles with a lot. he understands what people are feeling, but he has a hard time understanding why they feel that way. he says it’s because he’s too tuff to deal with emotions, but deep down he knows it’s because he was thrust into a traumatic childhood so early on that he never had time to build emotional bonds with people that would strengthen his empathy and understanding.

- his past, another canon take. he hates talking about it, even the good stuff, because when he thinks about new york all he can picture is 10 year old dallas watching a man being covered in a white sheet by the paramedics on the side of the road. he thinks about his friends from there and knows they’re all either locked up or dead, and it ruins any enjoyment he gets from reminiscing on the good times.

- health. he definitely has crohn’s or IBS or something else that makes his stomach hurt whenever he eats, and it embarrasses him to no end. he’s always anxious that his stomach is going to start hurting when he’s with the gang and is going to have to find some excuse to leave. he smokes so much while he’s out with them to keep from getting hungry until he gets back to buck’s place.

- his friendships. the shepherd gang is close-knit. then, the curtis’ are brothers, steve has known them forever, and two-bit is outgoing enough to make himself fit in to the group. johnny is the closest person dallas relates to, and it’s the friendship hes the most secure in.

- his smile. he knows smoking ruins his teeth, and he knows they’re crooked all over, and he knows that when he smiles his lips crack and stretch out.

johnny:

- his appearance, canon insecurity. he looks young for his age, and when the gang found him in the lot after he was beaten by Socs, they all started treating him like he was young too. he didn’t think the scar on his face was tuff, it just reminded him of being attacked.

- his voice. this is less about how it sounds and more about him not being able to speak over the shouting at home. he hates yelling, and he won’t stand in to speak up for him cause he’s too afraid of being told to “stop yelling”.

- being average. johnny feels painfully average in everything he does. he’s tried to find a skill that he truly loves and wants to take time to be good at, but he always gets frustrated and quits before he can improve.

- romance. almost every aspect of it terrifies johnny. he doesn’t know what a healthy marriage looks like, what he does know was from Mr and Mrs Curtis, but seeing them die together warped his sense of love. he doesn’t understand why you would want to love somebody so much if you didn’t have to. he doesn’t like the “til death do us part” aspect of marriage, because it makes him feel trapped. he’s not afraid of commitment, he’s afraid that he will end up in a marriage like his parents’ and not be able to leave.

two-bit:

- alcoholism. he’s an alcoholic and he knows it, but he’s been stuck in the vicious cycle of addiction for such a long time that the only way he knows how to cope with the emotional baggage of addiction is to drink more.

- social awareness. as of now, he’s very self-aware and extremely skilled in reading a room, but he didn’t used to be. he used to crack jokes at the wrong time and get scolded for it, and it made him feel horrible. like he wasn’t able to experience all the same sad feelings as everybody else because they reacted differently to the sadness than he did. they wanted to process the sadness while he wanted to ignore it.

- being absent at home. he knows he spends the majority of time at the curtis house, and he also knows that his mother spends the majority of her time at work, which leaves his little sister at home alone. he has a good relationship with her, but he doesn’t like for her to see him drunk, and as his alcoholism progresses, that gets to be more and more often. he knows this, and it’s one of the main reasons he’s so insecure about his addiction, because she’s the one who let him know that it wasn’t a one-way street. his problem affected him and her.

- commitment. two-bit is young, but he feels old enough to know how relationships work. he saw his dad walk out on them, and he was never able to process how you could go from marrying someone to leaving and never looking back. at first, he thought that his dad was just a selfish jerk, but when he met johnny and saw that his parents were also married and simultaneously abusive, he convinced himself that all marriages were bound to end up that way. he believes that if the curtis’ lived longer, they would have eventually gotten bitter and tired of each other, because in his mind, that’s just what couples do.

ponyboy:

- confidence. he has a lot of insecurities, and they’re shared pretty evenly between physical and non physical. he doesn’t like his body or his eyes. he doesn’t like how impulsive and dramatic he is.

- security. not in himself, but in life. he’s permanently on edge, feeling anxious about who’s going to be around the corner and what would happen if he got jumped and how many Socs he’d be able to fight off in case anything happened. his parents’ sudden deaths did not help this. he feels like life is constantly tossing him around, and he never feels completely safe.

- emotional outbursts. this isn’t exclusive to ponyboy, but he struggles with it the most. he hates getting upset with people, and he hates hurting other people’s feelings. when he’s feeling too many things, he starts to speak without a filter and gets mad at the littlest things, and he knows that it makes everybody around him feel bad.

- fitting in. in contrast to johnny’s insecurity, ponyboy wants nothing more than to fit in. he’s tired of being the only greaser in his classes, he’s tired of his isolated taste in movies and theatre, he’s tired of being a track star, and he’s tired of all the pressure put on him since he isn’t average.

steve

- masculinity. his dad always enforces an unrealistic standard of being strong, independent, and logical. steve is inherently all of these things, but the pressure he feels to keep it up weighs him down.

- comparing himself to others. it started in middle school when he noticed all of the people liked sodapop more. from then on he couldn’t help but feel like soda was more attractive and charming, darry was stronger and smarter, two-bit was funnier and cooler, dallas was tougher and unbothered, johnny was more likeable and down-to-earth, and ponyboy was more creative and well spoken.

- addiction. there was a time in steve’s life where he was getting high every day. at first it was fun, but then he had to quit track because he wasn’t as athletic as he used to be. it ruined his health and motivation. he started working on cars more to keep himself busy, and it helped a lot, even got him a job.

- hyperindependence. steve’s biggest character flaw is that he can’t ask for help. whether it’s asking for help in school or asking for soda to hand him a tool in the garage, steve can’t bring himself to do ask. it makes him feel like he’s not good enough to do it on his own.

[ohbae-me]

okay so, im about to go ham because i truly stand strong in my shoujo fantasy.

In my opinion, im pretty sure (like 89%) lucifer tells us that whenever mammon breaks off a relationship with someone, they go broke completely after. so hes had previous relationships before, as for the rest of the boys, im pretty sure lucifer has, but nothing serious, he wont let anyone in, MC is literally the only person who has pushed past his walls and seen him for more than pride. satan, 100% he has never had a relationship, levi, has had a couple of fwbs and other relationships but they always fizzle out, never lasting. asmo has never had a serious relationship, always just flings. belphie never had a serious relationship and same with beel. i truly believe MC is their first true loves, i know what youre thinking "theyve been alive for so long, theres no way someone couldnt have been special to them" but the thing is, theyre so different with MC; their entire dynamic and relationships changed with MC, MC saw them for more than their sin and got to know them to their very core, while yes the other relationships never lasted, thats not to say the boys didnt love them; but just not in the way they love MC. i believe MC to be a true love, not just a love, the difference for me is all of the boys would gladly give up chasing MC once she finds herself happy with another brother, instead of forcing them to choose yk? the "as long as youre happy, it kills me everytime i look at you smile at him, but i love you too much to let you be miserable with me" and i dont think any of them have experienced. also, with the whole "new relationship" thing, the honey moon phase, while yes every couple has it, i feel like with MC it would just, last. not to say they wouldnt have fights; ofc they would, but its different with MC, everyday the brothers would wake up and chose the option to love and fall in love all over again, speaking further on that, i dont think any of them would truly get over MC. and i mean that; (i dont think MC is going to die, obey me devs have something planned LOL, plus theyre super powerful, like the other anon said i dont think theyd be able to really function without them, even if they do "get over" mcs death at some point.) after MC dies i feel like the family dynamic wouldnt be the same, the brothers would get quieter and would never truly forget about it? and every relationship would fail because theyre not MC (you dont have to agree but i love reverse harems), like i 100% hc that after MC chooses another brother or after they die, mammon would try and try to find new flings, even after its been decades mammon finds someone whos super similar to MC, their look, personality, etc, but one wrong move and theyre out. (say MC doesnt like pickles, but the replacement for MC does, he would immediately start crying and call mc a stupid human who he shouldnt have fallen for.) anyways in conclusion, i truly dont think MC would ever die canonically in the obey me game, the devs are sneaky (love you devs), but even if they would, i really feel like they would never get truly over it. some part of me truly believes that the brothers would go back to being distant, how they were before. they would sit at the table and eat in silence, asmo would begin partying ten times harder (since we already know he uses his ego to cover up his major insecurity of people not liking him and how he feels about himself) and the brothers would become even more indugled in their sin. also, for every relationship they would have, they would just compare them to MC, and yeah but I cannot see MC dying. the other stuff about what the brothers would be like after MC dies could also be applied to when MC chooses her s/o. i think the brothers would be super fucking hurt, that was their first love, their first understanding who walked out and chose someone who wasnt them. anyways thats all, you dont have to reply i just felt like i needed to get this off of my chest, also im gonna be pretty frequent on your blog ( i love ur writing ) so im gonna call myself cake anon! have a great day! - cake anon

Hello Cake! iluuu! Thanks for this, i really love getting every ones take on these things! And there is defs a lot that i agree with here. 

I agree with the Mammon part. Out of all of the brothers, i feel he is probably the easiest to get emotionally attached in a relationship, so i see him as the one with the most previous relationships. Asmo coming in second, but his being mostly flings or poly/open relationships. I’m sure Mammon has had some serious ones as well as many flings, where Asmo’s have never been overly serious and certainly never long lasting. I’m also sure Luci has had a few, some more serious than others, but he wouldn’t get overly attached emotionally. I’m sure he’d be too busy with Diavolo since arriving, being the workaholic he is. I’m sure not many partners would be willing to deal with that level of non-commitment and emotional unavailability from him.Levi I feel like all his relationships never left that awkward early stage, and his only ‘serious’ relationships would have been strictly online, maybe a couple meetups that made him nope right out of it. Satan, again, has probably just gone on some casual dates but didn’t have much interest in actually dating rather than gaining connections. i feel like Beel is the most likely candidate to have had healthy previous relationships. He is pretty well balanced emotionally and has a good outlook on love and family values. I’m sure he’s had a few serious relationships and has dated his share of people. Belphie gives me vibes of had one or two previous serious relationships that did not end well at all and now he’s a salty sob over it lmao. 

I still don’t feel like MC is necessarily their first true love, but maybe the first different kind of love for them. MC has reached them in ways no one else has, they don’t try to change anything, they fit in well with the whole family, they understand their sins etc. I have loved a few different people in my life, and each one was such a different experience for me. The first guy i loved, i consider to be my first true love. However, it didn’t work. And then i met the man I eventually married, he wasn’t my first true love, but it was a better kind of love, yk? 

And uugghh you ripped my heart out with how the brothers would feel if MC chose a different brother!!!! Because they all would be so heartbroken it’s not them, but they really truly just want mc to be happy and cared for, and they know their brother would keep them safe and provide well. 

A few asks ago, i mentioned that the brothers would move on eventually. I think there is a big difference in moving on and getting over that I maybe didn’t articulate very well. If MC were to die or choose someone else, they would move on eventually, but they might not ever really get over it. My heart hurts just thinking about how they would feel trying to move on. Like you mentioned, the empty, quiet dinner tables, lackluster parties and festivals, it would be like they lost their best friend. (i giggled picturing your mammon scenario with the pickle because that’s exactly how he’d react to something so small lmaooo)

I also agree that i don’t think the devs will kill mc off (again), that just seems like a really crappy way to end the game!! I’m curious to see how they would make different routes go if you can only romance one of them end game, vs you being able to have them all? I wonder if we’d get a choice in the whole becoming immortal thing or not? 

Sorry if this reply was too long and rambly, i absolutely love discussing these kinds of things!! I always welcome these asks!!! 

[cinemavariety]

The Director’s Series: Nicolas Winding Refn

The director series will consist of me concentrating on the filmography of all my favorite directors. I will rank each of their films according to my personal taste. I hope this project will provide everyone with quality recommendations and insight into films that they might not have known about. Today’s director in spotlight is Nicolas Winding Refn

#9 - Fear X (2003) Runtime: 1 hr 31 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1         Film Format: 35mm

When his wife is killed in a seemingly random incident Harry, prompted by mysterious visions, journeys to discover the true circumstances surrounding her murder.

Verdict: Refn’s most forgotten about film, even I have a hard time remembering that this film is part of his oeuvre. Nevertheless, Fear X is a quiet and lingering exercise in style. It’s a surrealist film noir with heavy influences from David Lynch. It’s also the first time where Refn began experimenting with color and started to move away from shaky cam.

#8 - The Pusher Trilogy (1996/2004/2005) Runtime: 1 hr 45 min / 1 hr 40 min / 1 hr 30 min Aspect Ratio: 1.66 : 1 / 1.85 : 1 /  1.85 : 1                 Film Format: 16mm / 35mm / 35mm

A drug pusher grows increasingly desperate after a botched deal leaves him with a large debt to a ruthless drug lord.

Verdict: I made the decision to categorize all three Pusher films as one entry for this post (otherwise it would just be too many). Nicolas Winding Refn started off his career with the strong crime tale of Pusher, and made the last two films to complete the trilogy after his English language debut Fear X ended up bombing. While I love the first and third entry more than I do the second, all three Pusher films are captivating and anxiety-ridden crime docudramas. It’s a great way to see how far Refn has evolved by starting with these films first.

#7 - Bleeder (1999) Runtime: 1 hr 38 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: 35mm

Two stories for the price of one: Lenny works in a video shop and tries to get acquainted with the waitress Lea. Leo can't cope with the pressure of becoming a father, leading to trouble with his pregnant wife and especially her brother.

Verdict: While Bleeder might be Refn’s lowest budget film to date, and not all the violence comes off as extremely convincing, I enjoyed it more than all three Pusher films because of the emotional stakes within the story. Multiple characters lives intertwine and interconnect in oftentimes disastrous circumstances. I also loved how Mads Mikkelsen’s character is a huge film aficionado, all of the scenes he is featured in bring a much needed reprieve from the turmoil and abuse.

#6 - Too Old to Die Young (2019) Runtime: 15 hr Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1                     Film Format: Arri Alexa Digital

The numb existences of Martin Jones, a police officer with secrets to hide, and Jesus, a traumatized avenging son, collide in a ghostly Los Angeles where several ruthless criminal gangs fight for their turf and dictate who lives and who dies. Verdict: Too Old To Die Young finds the celebrated auteur, Nicolas Winding Refn, sharing his view of humanity and society at its most despicable. All of his usual motifs and creative decisions are employed in full force with Too Old To Die Young, sometimes to an almost unbearable degree unless you are a truth Refn aficionado. His long takes, infinitesimal silences between lines, neon lighting, synth score and characters belonging to a criminal underworld are all utilized to great affect within the series. And while I believe that Refn’s sensibilities are best conveyed through a film medium, the limited series allows Refn to explore what he wants to convey like an artist adding layer upon layer of colors onto a blank palette.

#5 - Bronson (2008) Runtime: 1 hr 32 min Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1 Film Format: 35mm

A young man who was sentenced to 7 years in prison for robbing a post office ends up spending 30 years in solitary confinement. During this time, his own personality is supplanted by his alter ego, Charles Bronson. Verdict: Bronson is quite possibly Tom Hardy’s most impressive performance, and that’s saying a lot. It exudes such a hypnotic quality that every time I watch it, it’s as if I am seeing the film for my very first time. It tells the true story of one of Britain’s most infamous criminals.Refn’s visual flair and unique filming style make it unlike any other prison film I’ve ever witnessed. This is the beginnings of Refn’s disinterest in traditional narrative structure.

#4 - Only God Forgives (2013) Runtime: 1 hr 30 min Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1 Film Format: Red Epic Digital

Julian, who runs a Thai boxing club as a front organization for his family’s drug smuggling operation, is forced by his mother Crystal to find and kill the individual responsible for his brother’s recent death. 

Verdict: This is easily Refn’s most frustrating film. Whenever I watch it, I’m unsure whether I adore it or dislike it. But the fact that it’s the Refn film I have probably revisited the most is extremely telling of the ambience that Refn creates. Only God Forgives is arguably the most beautifully shot film from Nicolas. The neon drenched streets of Bangkok are presented to look like a netherworld. It’s a revenge fantasy thriller mixed with Oedipal undertones. Also, Gosling looks like a treat in every frame.

#3 - Valhalla Rising (2009) Runtime: 1 hr 33 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: Red One Digital

1000 AD, for years, One Eye, a mute warrior of supernatural strength, has been held prisoner by the Norse chieftain Barde. Aided by Are, a boy slave, One Eye slays his captor and together he and Are escape, beginning a journey into the heart of darkness. On their flight, One Eye and Are board a Viking vessel, but the ship is soon engulfed by an endless fog that clears only as the crew sights an unknown land. As the new world reveals its secrets and the Vikings confront their terrible and bloody fate, One Eye discovers his true self. 

Verdict: Valhalla Rising is Refn’s dirtiest and bloodiest work, and it certainly finds the director at his most surreal and existential. If anyone wants to know a film that epitomized what it means to be considered art house - this is it. It’s a film about a slave finding emancipation from his tyrannous slave owners, and finds himself on a doomed voyage to the New World with a group of fanatical Christian vikings. The story is told in separate chapters, with each section the audience finds itself traveling down a rabbit hole that resembles something of an acid try gone awry.

#2 - The Neon Demon (2016) Runtime: 1 hr 57 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: Arri Alexa XT Plus Digital

When aspiring model Jesse moves to Los Angeles, her youth and vitality are devoured by a group of beauty-obsessed women who will take any means necessary to get what she has.

Verdict: The Neon Demon has grown to become my second favorite movie from Nicolas. The film succeeds in shedding light on the hedonistic lifestyle of deranged young women in a tongue-in-cheek, almost satirical fashion. It’s one of the best looking Refn films to date, with even banal or commonplace locations drenched in neon hues. Composer Cliff Martinez outdoes himself with the synth-heavy score which guides the audience along a fairytale of horrors. In Refn’s surreal vision of Los Angeles there is no such thing as going too far to reach fame, even if it means bloodshed. As one character says in the film: “Beauty isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” It would be nice to write off this statement as pure subjectivity, but what else has the media taught us but this ideal?

#1 - Drive (2011) Runtime: 1 hr 40 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: Arri Alexa & Cooke S4 Digital

A Hollywood stunt performer who moonlights as a wheelman for criminals discovers that a contract has been put on him after a heist gone wrong. 

Verdict: Seeing Drive in theatres back in 2011, without even having seen a film from Refn and not knowing much of the plot in general, is hands down one of the most memorable and inspiring theatrical experiences I ever had. Drive, among many other films that came out around that time, acted as a catalyst for me to branch out and discover more independent and arthouse filmmakers. I believe that it is undoubtedly Refn’s best film, and I might dare say that might be credited to the fact that is one of the only Refn films in which he didn’t write. These characters, while quiet and mysterious, have more depth to them than any of his others. The quiet romance between Drive and Irene provide more emotional stakes than any of his other works as well. All the elements of Drive complement each other and build off of each other. As cheesy as it may sound, if any film could be considered cool - it’s this. It’s already gained a cult status and it will most definitely go down in history as one of the most beautiful crime noirs ever made.

[mystic-kitten-writer]

Limerence [M] ︳10

Pairing: Zuko x OC

Genre: Romance, mainly fluff with future smut, and if you squint hard enough - you’ll find some angst.

Rating: SFW

Words: 5500+

Notes: Chapter ten everybody! I hope you enjoy <3 

Masterlist ︳09 ︳ 11

❤ Buy me a coffee? ❤

Limerence: (English/n.) the state of being infatuated with another person.

The moment their eyes locked they knew - the flames within him twisted while the water within her turned. It was a connection, a connection that would lead to love, adventure, and drama.

Resfeber

(Swedish/v.) A desire to experience new things; anticipation for the unknown.

~ Unknown ~

            “You travelled quite far…For what, hm? For me to partake in that little plan of yours? Ah, you never do change, do you?” The man purred mockingly as he caressed her long black hair, pushing it behind her ear.

            She smiled with her pouty pink lips, although the man wasn’t stupid, he knew how deceiving her smiles were. She was a vixen. Sexy but dangerous, but that is what he likes after all. With a tight grip, she pushed his rough hand away, “Why change when I’m already perfect?” She said with a taunt as she confidently pushed herself against the man. He chuckled darkly, enjoying her advances. She was a master of manipulation, and for the time being, he was going to let her have her way.

            “So what do you say? Join me?” She said with a playful smirk as she dipped her fingertips lower and lower down his broad chest. He grinned darkly before leaning in, while she eagerly anticipated for his answer. Finally, his lips brushed against her ear.

            “Fuck no.”

            He stepped back and enjoyed the sight; she was fuming. He knew her better than she knew herself. She wasn’t nice. She wasn’t patient. She was a spoiled bitch; who always got what she wanted no matter what. And the best part, it took little to make her snap. “What do you fucking mean by no?” She hissed. Suddenly all seductive advantages dropped, and her golden eyes were ablaze; the real her shining through. “You heard me, no. What do I benefit from this, huh? Seems like a lot of work for jack shit.”

            “The chance to hurt him. A chance to make him realize he is no better than us. That at the end of the day he is just like me.” She hissed, bitterness laced with every word. The man shook his head and tapped his chin, “That sounds more like a you problem. I gain nothing from this.” He said swiftly and crossed his arms. She laughed wickedly and shook her head, “Gain nothing from this? How about finally getting the revenge you always wanted, for the death of your poor innocent sister?” She purred out.

            The man’s shoulder’s tensed as he ran a hand through his messy brown hair. His sister was his weak spot. It was what made him go went mad, shaped him into the man he was now, a ruthless killer. “If I wanted revenge I could just kill you.” She smiled amiably before walking back towards him and letting a finger trace along his clenched jaw, “You’re right, you could kill me and get your revenge. But we both know that would be no fun because you want the world to know how strong you are. How dangerous of a Waterbender you are. And killing me wouldn’t be a big enough meal to feed your ego. But damaging him would.”

            He laughed bitterly; she indeed was the master of manipulation. Knowing precisely what buttons to press to make someone bend head over heels for her. “Fine, I'll play along. I'll depart in two days from when you leave.” She smiled, happy she got her way. “Perfect, I'll be arriving a few days before him. Plenty of time to make sure everything is in place.” With a quick turn on her heels, she began walking away, “When I get there you better be ready.” He said roughly. She continued walking away, but he could see her look over her shoulder with a grin, “Do I ever disappoint?”

~ Ying Yue Jiang ~

            “Remember, stand straight, shoulders back, no, more like- that’s it!”

            “Now chin up, look straight, darling- don’t let your eyes wander! Eye contact!”

            “That’s it; now make sure your hands are also in front and stop biting your lip!”

            I let out a massive huff while maintaining my famous smile as I continued walking the room for the nth time today like an idiot — the things I do for Zuko. For the past week and a half, day and night, here I have been; practicing non-stop the proper etiquette for Fire Nation royals with these lovely old ladies.

            Both ladies looked at me with scrutiny as they observed every move I made, down to the way I nervously bit my lip. I knew they meant well, and they were just looking out for me, but this was the last thing I wanted to do, after attending these classes every day during our sails. They both seemed to notice I was getting irritated because right away they scowled and crossed their arms, “This is not about you darling, think of the bigger picture here. This is for Fire Lord Zuko.” She said as if to encourage me.

            I sighed profoundly; I didn’t need her to remind me why I was working this hard, down to the way I sipped my soup at dinner or the way I took a sip of water. Ironically enough, despite me doing all of this for Zuko, whenever we were alone, that was the only time I could once again be myself. With a broad smile on my face, I started walking around the room once again, “How about now?” I asked, trying my hardest to remember every godforsaken rule. They both narrowed their eyes as they oversaw me.

            “Good…but…” She started, and I groaned. Of course, there was a but, there is always a ‘but’ with these two ladies! I swear I'm going to- Before I could contemplate jumping overboard to escape these two women I heard someone laughing. I swiftly turned to the door to see Aang leaning against the door frame watching me play ‘princess’ as Suki and Toph would say. My eyes widen, and I was ready to jump up and say hi before a loud cough stopped me. I sighed and rolled my eyes before I begrudgingly gave Aang a small bow, “Avatar Aang, pleasure seeing you here.” I said elegantly.

            Aang raised a brow, taken aback by my sudden political correctness, but he seemed to have caught on regardless. He stood up straight and returned my bow, although I could see the playful grin on his face. “Imperial Consort Ying Yue. I hope I'm not interrupting since you seem to be having fun.” I gave him a smile, a smile much too large which Aang only laughed at, “I'm having the time of my life.” I said through my teeth. Aang is enjoying this way too much, this monster. He contently watched me suffer silently, oh, but just you wait Aang, you’re my ticket out of this!

            “Avatar Aang, I'm guessing that since you're here that only means it's time for me to leave.” Aang looked at me puzzled, and the two older ladies quickly jumped in, “Go where, we’ve only been practicing for ten hours, and we have much to go over still for tomorrow!” They said in sync. I smiled sweetly and politely bowed, “My deepest apologies, Fire Lord Zuko said he would send Avatar Aang my way when he is no longer tied up in political matters so we may spend some time together before our arrival tomorrow at the Fire Nation. Although if it's an issue, I assume you two lovely ladies can talk to Fire Lord Zuko about it, hm?”.

            They both looked at each other hesitantly before bowing back at me, “If it's the Fire Lord’s wishes we shall accept. Have a pleasant evening, Imperial Consort Ying Yue.” I nodded my head and swiftly turned to face Aang, who had a mixture of emotions playing on his face; confusion and amusement. I finally let my guard drop and gave Aang a look that just barely skimmed the surface of how happy I was to get the hell out of there. I shut the door behind me, and within seconds I let my shoulders drop and let out a huff.

            “I swear if Zuko doesn’t comment on how nicely I bow I'm going to kill him.”

            Aang laughed out heartily as we began wandering down the hallway. “That bad huh?” I groaned out loud and shook my head, “You don’t even know. Thanks for going along with it, you know, about Zuko saying he wanted to see me.” I said, Aang grinned and gave me a thumbs up, “Nothing to thank me for, although, I must say. Threatening them with ‘Fire Lord Zuko,’ very unlike you.” Aang said with a raised brow.

            “I was desperate,” I said with a laugh. Aang laughed along as he shook his head, genuinely surprised to see me hate something so much. “So now that you made your grand escape, what now fugitive?” I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t hide the small yawn that escaped my lips. It was late in the evening, as I could see the moon lighting up the night sky and the stars casting a beautiful glow on the water through the portholes. “Bed.”

            “Already?! Not even Gran-Gran goes to bed this early.” Aang said baffled. I couldn’t stop the giggle that left my lips realizing that Aang just compared me to Gran-Gran. “We are arriving tomorrow, and I need to rest. I have to wake up super early to get dressed.” I groaned out remembering all of the details Lia told me regarding hair and makeup, although I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit excited, who doesn’t like to get dolled up?

            “What about you? What are you doing?” I asked. Aang pointed at himself, and it was then I noticed that he wasn’t wearing his usual mustard coloured Airbender robes, they were looser than usual, “You're training now? At this hour?” I asked shocked. Aang nodded, “A workout before bed is the best.” I smiled at his excitement before I noticed that up ahead was Zuko’s study. Aang seemed to notice as well because he raised his brow, “You going to say goodnight before you go to bed?” He asked. I shrugged my shoulders, fighting against the temptation to visit Zuko.

            Despite us, both being stuck together on the ship for a week and a half, Zuko and I barely saw each other. Every day from the moment we left he was locked away in his study preparing for the Earth King’s visitation. The only time I did see him was during the night. Every night he would gently knock on my door, bidding me a goodnight kiss before he departed. No matter how many times I asked him about his work he would shake his head ‘no’ and say that when he was with me, he didn’t want to talk about it because ‘I shouldn’t be burden with such matters.’ It wasn’t like I could force him to talk, so I respected his wishes, even though the curiosity in me was dying to know.

            “I don’t know…he is busy,” I said with a pout. Aang gave me a look, and before I could react, he ran up to the door and began knocking. My eyes widen, and I ran up to Aang, grasping his hand to stop him from knocking non-stop, “What are you doing~!?” I hissed out lowly. Aang grinned before pulling away, “I love it when Katara surprises me with visits, you should try it with Zuko.” He said playfully. Before I could rebuttal, Aang dashed away. I squealed feeling the gust of wind roughly push against me as he ran with such speed around the corner, leaving me utterly speechless.

            “Ying Yue…what are you doing here?”

            I turned around only to bump into a surprised Zuko. I blushed and quickly began waving my hands frantically, “I’m sorry, I – uh, goodnight?” I stumbled out, taken off guard. I’ve known the man for how long now, and I still can’t formulate one coherent sentence? Zuko looked down at me amused. His hair was pulled back, and he wore his military uniform, but now that I was close to him I couldn’t help but notice how tired he looked.

            Deep dark circles hugged the underneath of his eyes while his eyes looked strained, clouding the golden shimmer he usually had. He even seemed a bit paler than usual. His skin no longer glowing as brightly. Why am I just noticing now that he looks mentally beat? I frowned and instinctively placed a hand on his cheek, “Zuko…you look exhausted. You need to rest. You’re overworking yourself.” All giddiness was gone as I apprehensively overlooked Zuko.

            Zuko smiled softly before he gently grabbed my waist, “Come inside.” He said softly. I nodded and shut the door closed with my foot once we were inside, still cupping his face, “Zuko, I'm not joking. You need to sleep…” I said with concern. Zuko groaned, and I noticed his grip on my waist tightened before he finally let his forehead rest against mine, “I have many things I have to get done once I get to the Capital, I have to do as much as I can now.”

            I closed my eyes knowing that what he said was right, but it was still concerning seeing him drained. “How about you call it an early night. Rest up for tomorrow.” I said with pleading eyes. Zuko laughed lightly, “Did you just come here to lecture me?” He asked.

            “You can thank Aang for that. I was going to go to bed, but he insisted I came to see you first.”

            “You didn’t want to see me?” Zuko said as he placed his hand on his chest as if I had hurt him. I rolled my eyes and lightly slapped his arm, “I mean – I know you were busy and I didn’t think you wanted to be bothered.”

            “Why wouldn't I not want to see what is mine?” Zuko said playfully, and for a split moment, the tiredness left his face. I pouted and gently poked his chest, “I'm not some object that you can own.” Zuko smirked and suddenly pulled me close to him, I gasped from the sudden movement, and he abruptly gripped my chin with his free hand, “You’re mine, love.” Zuko said firmly. I blushed and wanted to fight back, but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy Zuko’s natural possessiveness.

            “Zuko~!” I whined out which in return made him chuckle. He quickly pecked my forehead, but his grip on me didn’t loosen up. Instead, he let his head rest on the crook of my neck as his hands snaked around my body. I could feel him breathe peacefully, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around him. “I'm exhausted,” Zuko muttered out. I laughed and let my hand run up and down his back. Gosh, I missed this. I never realized how needy I was until now. We never got much time to ourselves, this being the most intimate moment we’ve shared during this whole journey.

            “I could fall asleep like this…” Zuko grumbled once again. I sighed contently, “I prefer you don’t, you’re quite heavy.” I said with a giggle. Zuko chuckled before lifting his head, “Are you ready for tomorrow?” He asked.

            “As ready as I'll ever be. How about you? Excited to see your family?”

            Zuko smiled like a child at the mention of his family before he nodded, “I can’t wait till I show you off.” He said with a grin. I felt my cheeks rosy up once again before I gently punched Zuko’s chest, “Zuko!” I said embarrassed. He laughed before finally pulled away altogether, curiously, I watched him walk towards his desk and lean behind, in search of something. “What are you doing?” I asked, although he ignored my inquiry and continued searching. I walked over to him carefully, and just as I was about to peak over his shoulder, he turned around, with an enormous box in hand.

            My eyes widen as it was a wooden box, painted red with a gold bow on top, “I was going to give this to you tomorrow, but since we will both be busy, here.” I gasped as I struggled to hold the box; it was huge and heavy. “Wha-what is it?” I asked. Zuko poked my nose, “Instead of asking me every time I give you something, just open it.” I stuck my tongue out at him and preceded to place the box on a clear space on his desk.

            Carefully I unwrapped the bow, and I hesitantly played along the edges of the lid, scared to open it. What could Zuko have gotten me? We are seriously in the middle of nowhere, where could he even have gotten me something? With a smooth motion, I lifted the lid and placed it off to the side, as I squealed seeing what was inside. Zuko must have enjoyed my expression because he bore the proudest smile on his face as I twirled around with the dress, inch by inch unravelling from the box and swaying with me.

            It was everything I could have ever wanted and more. It wasn’t too overly decorated, and the beautiful bead-work along the sleeves of the dress was absolutely stunning. This is beautiful; I wish Suki were here so I can show her. “I hope you like it. I had a feeling you wouldn’t have something to wear tomorrow, so I asked the seamstress to design something. It would have been fancier, but we only have so much material on the ship.” Zuko said as he watched me dance around with the dress. I looked up at him in bewilderment, “Like it? Zuko I love it! This is beautiful; it’s like it was made for me!” I gushed.

            Zuko laughed before finally placing a hand on my waist to stop me from dancing around in glee, “It was made for you. I wanted something that represented you: beautiful, simple, and pure.” He said as he gazed into my eyes. I smiled softly back at him and shamefully stared at him with admiration. He was perfect, how did I get so lucky? I pushed the dress against my chest as I struggled to formulate any words that could begin explaining how thankful I was for this dress, “Thank you Zuko, I-” but before I could finish Zuko pressed his lips against mine, and I gasped.

            It was such a sweet and gentle kiss, as his hands gently cupped my face. I closed my eyes and let myself give in, enjoying his affection. There was just something about his kisses, that had me go weak in the knees and craving more. But it was more than just his kisses; it was just everything he did. His gentle caresses and compliments, he is too good for me. After what felt like forever, Zuko gently pulled away, his lips just grazing mine, “No, thank you.”

            My hands were all clammy as I nervously looked at myself in the mirror. I was all dolled up; my hair pulled into a half up and half down updo as my makeup accentuated my pouty lips and round eyes. I looked like a porcelain doll, ready for display. Lia gently placed her hands on my shoulders and began massaging them. “Relax, Kima told me you get nervous but not like this,” Lia said with a giggle.

            I giggled along with her before turning around; I was thankfully for Lia. Besides Aang and Sokka who sailed with us, Lia was the only permanent member of the Fire Nation ‘crew’ that I knew well. Zuko knew this and assigned her to be my head maid, although she quickly became a friend as she reminded me much of Kima. “It’s hard not to be nervous; this is it,” I said anxiously. Lia giggled before grasping my hands, “Ying Yue, you look stunning, Fire Lord Zuko won’t be able to peel his eyes off you. So stop acting like me on my first day on the job.” Lia said teasingly.

            “You were this scared on your first day?” I asked, trying to ignore the chaos happening outside of my bedroom door. I could hear maids panicking, making sure everyone was dressed and guards rushing to get into formation. That didn’t even include the cheers from outside the ship, people waiting in crowds for our arrival. It was only a matter of time they would drop the ramp, and we leave the ship and step foot in the Fire Nation “You bet. I was supposed to be a tea maid, but tell me how the head maid got sick that day, and I had to serve Fire Lord Zuko!” Lia said, laughing at herself remembering the events of that fateful day.

            I looked at Lia with wide eyes hearing her story, “You served tea to Fire Lord Zuko on your first day?” I asked shocked. Lia shook her head, “And to make it worse, it was after Countess Mai entered. It was like the universe was trying to set me up for failure.” She said, but as soon as those words slipped out of her mouth, her eyes widen, realizing that she spoke too much. I took me a minute to realize she mentioned Mai, and then I put two and two together.

            “I'm sorry Ying Yue, I got too comfortable and I shouldn’t have mentioned-” I smiled and stopped her mid-sentence. To be honest, I was curious. Sure, Suki told me about Mai, and based off the subtle hints Zuko gave off, Mai seemed…tough. She didn’t seem like the most approachable of people in the world, and for a minute I wondered how Zuko could date someone like that. Clearly, I was missing something, especially if after everything everyone has told me, the gang still asked about her with endearment.

            “Lia, I know about Countess Mai and Fire Lord Zuko already,” I said with a soft smile. Lia let out a huff, clearly holding in her breath in fear. “I was wondering…will Countess Mai be present? You know…in the sidelines?” I asked. Lia raised a brow before resting a finger on her chin, pondering. “In theory, yes. But…” She trailed off as she hesitantly looked at me. “Fire Lord Zuko and she aren’t exactly friends.” She said carefully. I nodded my head; I was so caught up in trying to impress Zuko’s family, I completely forgot about Mai. Just as I was about to ask more a knock caught my attention.

            Lia quickly stood up and opened the door, only for her to bow down and start addressing everyone formally. Aang and Sokka walked in with giant grins on their faces as they looked at me, “Wow, you look beautiful Yue.” Aang said politely. I smiled; Aang is such a gentleman. “Thank you; you look handsome Aang, and Sokka…” I trailed off as I observed their outfits. Aang sporting his famous Avatar attire while Sokka wore a Water Tribe Military outfit. “…You could have tried more.” I teased at Sokka. Sokka’s eyes widen, but he grinned nevertheless, “Hey, you should be thanking me. I purposely underdressed so I wouldn’t distract people from your man, Zuko.”

            I laughed as I could hear Zuko scoff from behind them, amused at Sokka’s joke. Sokka moved aside, letting Zuko walk forward and I could feel my mouth dry up instantly seeing him. Was Zuko always this fine? My eyes widen as I realized this was the first time I have witnessed Zuko in full Fire Lord attire. His hair was adorned with the Fire Nation Emblem while he wore lavish robes decorated with gold leaf. Zuko’s outfit made everyone look like peasants; he looked so regal, almost like a painting. Zuko smirked watching me not utter a word at him, but just staring at him in awe, he was sexy, and he knew it all too well.

            “Cat got your tongue?” Zuko teased out. I blushed and slowly began walking towards them. Zuko wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side and whispering in my ear, “You look marvellous love.” Sokka rolled his eyes and already began walking out the door, “Save it for the bedroom people!” He groaned out loud. Aang laughed as he chased after Sokka and I glanced back at Lia. I giggled watching her give me a thumbs up, just like how Aang does, she is seriously just the female version of Aang.

            “Are you ready?” Zuko asked, as he guided me through the door and we began walking down the corridors. I could feel my heart beat faster, and my hands feel jittery. I was so nervous it was pitiful. Not trusting my voice, I meekly nodded my head. I could see the crew up ahead, all of them standing in formation, ready to depart. Zuko began walking to the front of the line, and I was prepared to stand behind him, getting into position as my two teachers taught me ‘you must always stand behind Fire Lord Zuko, you're not his equal until marriage.’

            So when Zuko suddenly gripped my arm and brought me to his side, I looked at him shocked, “What-”

            “You're standing with me.” He said casually. My eyes widen, “B-but-”

            “You’re my partner. You're mine, as much as I'm yours. And you deserve to stand beside me. Fuck tradition.” He grumbled, and I could see his cheeks getting rosy speaking so bluntly about his feelings. It was the first Zuko ever really acknowledged me as his equal. I was always candid with my feelings, but this was Zuko’s first time being honest with me beside the incident back at the Southern Water Tribe.

            I smiled softly and linked my arm with him, sparing him from any teasing, although it was tempting. I stood proudly beside him, a new wave of confidence embracing me now that I had Zuko by my side. I could hear Sokka and Aang shuffle behind me as they murmured amongst themselves in nervous chatter.

            “Fire Lord Zuko, permission to lower ramp?” A guard shouted.

            I gazed up at Zuko, noticing he was looking at me as well with a giant smile on his face, “Permission granted.” I looked forward, watching the metal door slowly begin lowering. Just weeks ago it was me on the other side of that ramp, awaiting Zuko’s arrival, oh how the tables have turned. Zuko gently squeezed my hand, as if to reassure me and I let out one last shaky breath. This was it, my formal debut as the Fire Lord’s Consort; the start of something new.

Copyright © 2019 Mystic-Kitten, inc. all rights reserved. No reposting, modifying, or translations of any kind allowed. Thank you for your cooperation.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Avatar characters portrayed in this story besides Ying Yue Jiang, Lia, Kima, and any future creations.

❤ Buy me a coffee? ❤

[lamptracker]

FIC: Counting Down the Days, part 2

FIC: Counting Down the Days, part 2

Pairing: Peter Parker/Female Reader

Inspo: “Cancer” by My Chemical Romance

Summary:  While visiting a children’s hospital as his alter ego Spider-Man, Peter meets a girl his age. She’s sweet, she’s smart, she’s funny… and she’s dying of cancer. When she laments the fact that she probably won’t get to live long enough to have the typical teenage experiences of prom and a boyfriend, Peter offers to fill those roles for her.

Part summary: Peter tells the reader what it felt like when he got Snapped. 

Warnings: Talk of death. The usual cursing (he is from Queens). Endgame spoiler. Making fun of soccer moms who want to talk to the manager.

Tagged: @flokidottir-imagines-br  @babyplutoszx2   @musiclover1263   @judemoos   @drxgxnslxyer   @hollanderheart   @thequeensardine   @ive-got-some-lies-to-tell   @captainbuckyy   @xxtomxo   @deleteidentity   @yessterekthings   @itsyaspacemom   @parrkerspeters   @starksparker

Part 1

**

“Alrighty,” Peter said, webbing (y/n)’s hospital room door shut and peeling off his mask. “One cinnamon chai latte for you, one white chocolate mocha for me.”

“Ew, white chocolate?”

“You’re judging me. This is supposed to be a judgment-free zone, (y/n).”

“Please, Peter. This is a hospital, not Planet Fitness.”

Peter just shook his head and laughed as he handed (y/n) her latte. They’d been texting back and forth over the last couple of days, getting to know each other a little better. She asked to see pictures of his friends; he happily obliged (after telling them what he was up to - sort of, in most cases).

“That’s my best friend Ned,” Peter said, pointing at the pictures he was projecting on the wall from his suit. “He knows I’m Spider-Man too, him and MJ.  He’s in Robotics Club and Academic Decathlon with me. That’s his girlfriend Betty, she’s on Student Council and she reads the announcements every morning. This is Michelle, also known as the aforementioned MJ. She’s on Academic Decathlon too. There’s Abe, and that’s Brad, and… oh, good, I see Flash found the phone that’s not built into my suit today.”

“Wow, that is exceptionally rude,” (y/n) said, squinting.

“Karen,” Peter muttered, “delete that.”

“Deleting,” Karen said as the photo disappeared; (y/n) laughed loudly.

“So wait, you’re friends with a dude named Flash?”

Peter scoffed loudly. “Not friends,” he muttered, “he’s been bullying me since the third grade. Did you know, (y/n), that he gave himself that nickname because his real name is Eugene?”

(Y/n) cracked up laughing. “Eugene?!” she exclaimed. “Well, fun fact, I went to school with a kid named Elmer. Heir to the McCormick spice fortune, and about as smart as a container of Italian seasoning too.”

Peter just shook his head. “Elmer,” he muttered as he and (y/n) started to sip their coffees.

“Wow,” (y/n) said. “I can’t remember the last time I had a good cup of coffee. The stuff here tastes like it was brewed with dish soap.”

Peter made a face. “We have a coffee pot, but I never drink coffee at home. I love my aunt May, I really do, but cooking is not her forte. And, unfortunately, that includes coffee. I’ve taught myself how to cook some things. Make a pretty mean chocolate chip cookie.”

“Well, I may have to try one of those sometime.” (Y/n) sipped her latte. “This almost feels like a real coffee date, y’know?”

Peter smiled. “Karen, open Spotify and play my Coffeehouse Favorites playlist, please?”

“Sure, Peter.” The air was soon filled with soft, jazzy music.

“Very nice!” (y/n) exclaimed. “Now we just need the middle-aged suburban mom with her may-I-speak-to-the-manager haircut complaining that her cappuccino isn’t foamy enough.”

“Well, I can’t reproduce that, but I can try.” Peter cleared his throat, next speaking in a weird sort of high-pitched voice. “I asked for light foam, does this look light to you??”

(y/n) giggled. “And there are 47 bubbles, I asked for 49. How hard is it to put 49 bubbles in my cappuccino foam?”

And then, in unison, they said: “Where is your manager?”

They both burst into laughter.

“I gotta tell you,” (y/n) said, “that I’ve only known you for, what, three days? And I’ve laughed more in this three days than I have in the last three years. You’re just… you’re so fun to be around. You come here to cheer people up, right? Guess what, Pete… it’s working.”

Peter smiled warmly at her. “Good, I’m glad.”

“Part of me wishes I’d met you earlier,” (y/n) said wistfully. “You know, before I got sick this last time. We could have had so much more time together. But… but I’m almost glad I met you when I did. Being faced with your own mortality really sucks, it’s nice to have a friend.”

“You know the Snap?” Peter said; (y/n) nodded. “I was one of the ones that got snapped.”

“Honestly? When it happened, I wish I’d been snapped. But… then everyone came back. So either way, I’d have to deal with this.” She gestured vaguely at the wires hooked up to various parts of her body. “But the nice part about that was, you didn’t know it was coming. You know? Like it just… happened. You didn’t have to suffer through it.”

“I knew.”

(y/n)’s eyes widened in shock. “You what?”

Peter swallowed thickly. “I knew what was happening. Because of my powers, my senses are, just, super heightened. I feel everything differently than everyone else. So yeah, for everyone else that got snapped, it was quick and painless but for me? I felt everything.”

(y/n)’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, God. What… what was that like? I mean, if you want to talk about it, if not I totally get it.”

Peter sighed. He knew one day he’d have to talk about it. He was kind of hoping he’d never have to. But, if it would help (y/n) feel better, he was willing to push his fear aside.

“Terrifying,” he finally replied. “I was terrified. I felt helpless, alone. Mr. Stark was right there, that helped me feel less alone. Physically it was weird, I could feel myself disintegrating. It wasn’t unbearably painful, but it was pretty uncomfortable. And then my soul just got… I don’t know, transported? Maybe? Sure, transported to the soul world. And it was five years, but it felt like five hours, it was really weird. But then… then I came back. I guess that’s the difference, though, I got to come back.”

(y/n) smiled. “Wow,” she said. “It’s nice to finally meet someone that knows what I’m going through. I’ve been faced with death over half my life and it scares me. I’ve felt so alone. But… now I don’t feel so alone anymore.” She reached over, gently grasping his still-gloved hand.

Peter gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Glad to help.” He smiled at her again. “Um, that latte is getting cold. I don’t want to have to go get the manager.”

“Young man!” (y/n) exclaimed, in her fake customer voice. “This went down to 102 degrees, it needs to be at least 115!”

They burst into laughter yet again.

“What was it like, in the soul world?” (Y/n) asked softly.

Peter shrugged. “Wasn’t so bad. I didn’t feel anything physically. But internally, I felt very at peace. I… I got to see my parents and my Uncle Ben again. But they didn’t get to come back, that’s how the quantum thing worked. If you were dead before the Snap, you stayed dead. You know? But they got to tell me they were proud of me, that made me feel a lot better. I had this overwhelming, just… what was I so afraid of? This isn’t so bad. Then I realized that the thing I was scared of was the uncertainty. What’s happening to me? Where am I going to end up? That’s the part that got me. But once I got there… it was okay.”

“That makes me feel a lot better. Thanks, Peter.” She squeezed his hand again. “So what do I do now?”

“I… I don’t really know. What do you think you should do?”

“I think I should make the most of the time I have left,” (y/n) answered. “Not dwell on the dying part so much, focus on the living part. I know that sounds like all the schlocky bullshit they spout out in movies and whatnot but… but maybe there’s some good advice hidden in that.”

Peter just nodded solemnly.

“So,” (y/n) said, gulping down the last of her latte, “any plans this weekend?”

“I… oh, maybe. Karen, what’s my schedule this weekend?”

“You have an Academic Decathlon competition in Albany this weekend, be at the school by 5pm packed and ready to get on the bus. Estimated return time is 8pm Saturday.”

“And I’m co-captain with MJ this year,” Peter said, “so my presence is definitely required. I’ll get you a postcard or something though. And then I should probably do my rounds after I get home, and then I think I’m free Sunday.”

“New event added to calendar by Bruce Banner,” Karen said, “meeting at Avengers Tower at 2pm on Sunday.”

Peter chuckled. “...and I’ll try to stop by after that. If not, I will for sure Monday. But I’ll text you whenever I can, okay?”

“Sounds good.” (y/n) smiled. “Hey, thank you, by the way.”

“For what?”

“Everyone that comes in here thinks they need to walk on eggshells around me, not bring up the D word or whatever, you know? Thank you for not doing that. Thank you for treating me like I’m just an average everyday kid, and not an average everyday kid that happens to be walking around with a commuted sentence.”

Peter grinned at her. “Hey, anytime.”

“In a weird way,” (y/n) continued, “I’m almost glad I got sick.”

“Why’s that?” Peter asked, nose scrunched in confusion.

She smiled softly at him. “It brought me you.”

Peter could feel a blush creep over his cheeks as he searched for something to say. He settled for squeezing her hand again and replying, “I’m glad I met you too. Sucks it wasn’t sooner, but… better late than never, y’know?”

“Better late than never.” She grinned at him before releasing his hand. “Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah, definitely.”