#in reality it's just because I don't play the game anymore so I look up the update stories and ID voicelines on YT

[cluescorner]

Limbus updates: I sleep

ESGOO uploads the final part of his suffering trilogy: Real shit

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: F.L.U.D.D. (Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device)

Debut: Super Mario Sunshine

F.L.U.D.D. was Mario's first ever Platforming Buddy! Unless you count the Lakitu Bros. from 64, but they just operate the camera and don't affect Mario's platforming moveset, so I do not. So really, F.L.U.D.D. is- hold on, I really don't want to write every individual period each time I write its name. I'm just going to leave all the periods at the end of the post and you can put them where they belong yourself, or anywhere else you think is funny. Or you can keep them, I don't mind. Put them on a bagel and tell a friend they're poppy seeds!

FLUDD is a big deal. A landmark for the series in terms of mechanics. Not that these specific mechanics returned, but the concept of a buddy granting Mario some new abilities has become a recurring thing. FLUDD even talks, and is fully voice acted! In a robot voice! Like mine! A cute and silly little robot buddy for Super Mario.

So then... why don't I absolutely LOVE it? I feel like I should! But I'm just not getting that urge to imagine it driving a kart or playing tennis like I do with far less important characters. Does it work so well as a Tool that I have a hard time viewing it as a Character? Let's See!

I think FLUDD's design is honestly kind of perfect. The two massive screws that evoke eyes are really clever, and especially great is that they give it + shaped "pupils"! Aside from that, the nozzle's funnel shape is an extremely funny shape for a mouth, and FLUDD does indeed speak out of there. Excellent head! Though I feel like the excitement fizzles out once you look past the head, because the rest is much more "equipment" than "character". That's fine, this IS a piece of equipment! It just makes it feel less like a character, when I'd like it to have a bit of a balance of both. Maybe if the handles also functioned as little feet that it could walk around on? I don't know. Maybe that would be stupid... but I do love when creature designs are stupid!

FLUDD was made by E. Gadd, but that's all the backstory we get. We never learn why it was just there on the Delfino Airstrip, and that's really weird! The perfect tool to combat the game's main conflict is just there immediately when Mario arrives. It could have been a cool little mystery, but I guess the reality is just that some Pianta ordered it when the Goop Incident happened and got express delivery. Or maybe someone already had it and was just waiting for a calamity like this to happen, to justify the purchase!

I don't need to go over everything FLUDD does, right? I'm not the Super Mario Wiki, it's not my job! I'm here for the Weird. And a weird thing is that FLUDD freaken dies.

During the final boss against Bowser's Hot Tub, FLUDD starts stuttering, as if breaking down. And then in the final cutscene... it Dies! Mario goes to it, it tells him it hopes it was of assistance, and it dies. And Mario is sad, because this was his friend. But then in the very next scene FLUDD is back! Some Toads fixed it and it's fine now. So this ends up having the emotional impact of Mario needing to change the battery on his TV remote.

Even though it's our and Mario's friend, FLUDD is still an object, a product. It's technically not just FLUDD, but A FLUDD, one of many, mass produced. I have to wonder if it actually formed any bond with Mario, or if it was a one-sided friendship. Is it even capable of friendship...?

Whatever the case, the others absolutely consider FLUDD a friend, and well, that's just so sweet. During the credits we get to see some extremely compressed pictures of Mario and friends enjoying their real vacation, and FLUDD is there with them! It's not even on Mario's back anymore, or always WITH Mario, for that matter. Sometimes it's hanging out with Peach and some Toads, sitting there independently. I think it is safe to say FLUDD is a real true friend, and likes to just Hang Out sometimes! Even better, maybe it wasn't originally sentient, but learned how to love over the course of the adventure. Such a wonderful robot thing to do!

As expected, thinking in depth about FLUDD has absolutely endeared me to it. Hooray! It's about time. Well, it's too late for FLUDD to be relevant again, probably. I'm not saying it should be a driver in Mario Kart, but I AM saying there should be a kart based on it, and I'm also saying that this kart should canonically be the FLUDD, now upgraded. This feels like something that should have happened long ago!

This has been a long post, but it is far from all FLUDD has had to discuss! So next time, I will post about FLUDD once more, and its various appearances during the GameCube days and beyond! There is milk involved at some point. Get excited to learn what milk has to do with any of this!

Here are all those periods you were promised! I hope you like them.

....................................................................................................

[talkbycolor]

john doe game headcanons . . . ↷

A/N; i'm actually really sensitive about john doe JHSAJHSAJAS

Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader

CW; Just doe being the weirdo we love / PISSPISSPISS / implied cannibalism? not so much tho / ew stinky gay / sex with a hairball

john doe as a partner.

His love for you is pure, but the lack of understanding in humans makes it complicated, he doesn't know how to express it in a "correct" way.

He has little interest in humans but all his interest in You, do you want to learn to play an instrument? Doe too, he would learn to use a phone to call you although it would be useless since in the end he would follow you to work, he can't stand having you away for even a second!

He tried to eat you (unfortunately not in a sexual way), he wanted to bite, pull your teeth, and tear them out of your cheeks to eat them, you had to use a lot of patience to explain to him that this was painful and you could die

He likes your fluids, your sweat smells so good, it tastes great, your tears, he knows that tears mean something is wrong but he can't help but want to lick them, at least he's like a puppy in that way and that will make you laugh, Doe wants to help! your urine, he will drink it all without a problem, if you are both having a loving session in bed and you want to go to the bathroom, forget it, he will open your legs and help empty your bladder, he loved being your personal toilet, your blood is the sweetest of his paradise, be careful with accidental cuts or his mouth will stick like a leech to your wound

Ideas for romantic activities will probably come from television, be careful what he watches

At this point, Doe lives by and for you, he will adapt to your lifestyle and tastes, although he cannot understand most of them, the idea of "breaking up" does not exist in his head, you can walk away, even stop talking to him and he will continue behind you

But he has feelings, why don't you talk to him anymore? Did he do something wrong? He no longer leaves rats in the kitchen, he no longer tries to make You dinners with raw meat, is that the way he looks? Tell him your standards! Doe will change everything for you, even reality

He can definitely purr, he's more like an old, ugly, stray cat that will rest on your lap, but he's YOUR, old, ugly, stray cat.

He doesn't know how to give compliments, it's more like observations or comments about how you make him feel "You're wearing a big hat!" "A red dress!", "I'm so happy to see you!" but it's adorable that he reminds you that you are his whole life…somehow

It's like having a child at home, in the strangest way possible, he will try to make horrible crafts for you and help with housework without much success.

If you demand sex, Doe would probably do his best to make a nice cock, just for you, or a pussy depending on what you like, he will be submissive but if you ask him to take control he will try

And that will probably be the messiest and hardest sex you've ever had in your life, Doe always adores you like it's your last day on earth so in a sexual sphere it would be ten times worse

If you put on a movie at night, he will fall asleep halfway through, no exceptions, the sound of the television and your smell will be enough

Doe would definitely kill for you, he doesn't understand jokes so please don't say "Ugh I hate that guy, I hope he's dead" because yes, the guy will be dead.

In case You doesn't like the smelly boy, Doe will try to take showers regularly, at least to not smell like something out of the sewer, the pain doesn't matter if it's about you

Loves physical contact and quality time

Surprisingly, Doe has a driver's license, he would be your personal chauffeur, you may think it's an adorable gesture but he just wants to be sure where you are at every hour of the day… and help, of course.

Aside from adoring you, Doe actually has his own tastes and hobbies, he HAS feelings! He has tried knitting since the technology is very confusing, he really is like an old man

He tries to have a good relationship with your friends and family, if you have a big family he will probably feel overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he will stop trying to show that he loves you and wants to be with you.

Your younger nephews love it, they think of Doe as a weird-looking uncle who lets them play with his hair

Doe shirt always has hearts when he looks at You.

♡

[djemsostylist]

The thing I love most about the Warhammer 40k Space Marine game, starring one Captain Titus of the Ultramarines, is that it explains NOTHING. AT ALL. This game goes "well you wouldn't be playing me if you didn't know what Warhammer was, right?" and they would probably be mostly correct except that no, actually, I didn't even know what a space marine was when I first played, way way back in the early 20teens.

The game dumps you into a world where you play as a Captain of the Ultramarines. What is an Ultramarine, you ask? Why it's Captain Titus of course! and Leandros and Sergeant Sidonus. Are there more of them? Maybe, who knows! What's a Blood Raven? It looks like you, but different colors, and there are also only 4 of them. Are all of the space marines just squads of 4? Did you used to have a fourth and he died? Are you an army or a strike force? Who knows! The game for sure isn't gonna tell you!

What's an "inquisitor?" Well, it's Drogan of course! The one you have you save! And he's a psyker see. (What's a psyker, you ask? Well, it's what the Inquisitor is! Is it the same thing? NO IDEA! Just keep killing!) Now, is he also a space marine? Hard to say! Are space marines big, or just people in like, really big armor? WHO KNOWS! Not you, now kill some orks! Why are we killing orks? Because that's your mission of course!

And oh, hey, you're on a Forge World, fighting through the factories of the mechnanicum. What are these things? Well, you're on them and in them, what else do you NEED to know?

My favorite bit is when the Forces of Chaos show up, and a demon rips his way out of the fabric of reality, and it's just like "oh yeah, did we forget to mention you might have to fight demons? OOPS! Well, they pop as delightfully as an ork, so hop to it!" and then they just give you a different sort of Really Big Gun you can use to get on with the killing. Leandros seems concerned, the Inquisitor and Sidonus don't (and who outranks who? The regular men and women call you "Lord" but you call the Inquisitor "Lord" and all of you seem beholden to a "God-Emperor" (and is he an emperor or a God, or something of both?) but the only thing that matters is whether you chose a Plasma Rifle or a Lascanon to get through this next round, so who are you to question anything?

When the Inquisitor tells you to "meet at the monument" you just do, even though the monument is a nondescript hooded figure that says nothing and means little (except that these people do have monuments to something, and is it a saint? a martyr?) and so you go there anyway because there are more greenskins coming and you are about to get a thunderhammer (and maybe a jumppack, though those never last long.)

There are skulls sort of everywhere and everything looks like some sort of outsized Gothic cathedral and the voice that drones on and on sounds British and clipped and the words she says are dystopian and strange but there are always more orks to kill (and demons and men who look like you but aren't you, and are they really men behind those masks anymore, spilling from yawning purple clouds and splattering the walls with blood before vanishing i a lingering miasma) so you just keep going.

At one point a man who is not a man offers you the chance to become a god, to become a creature of whatever form you wish, and you still aren't entirely sure what the ultramarines are (and who is Lord Guilliman and his tenants your battle brother holds so dear) but there is a certainty in your refusal, a rigid belief that you won't fall because you can't fall (and did the man who is not a man who offers you a godhood fall? or has he always been like this?) but you deny him anyway (because you can, because you must, because you are an Ultramarine or because you believe in something more?) and you fight and fight and fight and kill and kill and kill and kill and kill and bleed until perhaps there is no blood left (your armor is huge and cumbersome and the floor shakes when you land but you move with grace and speed and roll and dodge and kill and live and what are you even, really?) and in the end you have saved a world and when you say "More than you know" you mean it with your whole heart because you are human, you are, you bleed, and you tire, and you grieve and you mourn (but are you human, really? if you can touch the darkness and not give in, not turn aside, if men call you angels and demons speak of gods) and it all means nothing because men you are you but not you show up, men in black and white (they look like Holy Orders, Hospitallers or something close) and a man who is an Inquisitor who is not Drogan, who speaks softly but firmly and they take you away and Leandros looks on with fear and maybe regret (and you do it to save Mira, you think, her and all the others you died a thousand times to save except you lived, and she lived, and they call you Angels and if you can't die maybe it's true, or perhaps you love them, all of them, the men and women who look at you with awe and fear and love, and isn't that being an Angel, in the end?)

Anyway, I've played this game thrice through (easy, medium, hard) and read all the codex and I still, to this day, do not know what happens at the Siege of Terra and what happens to make 30k 40k, and I think that's really sort of beautiful, in the end.

[sweetbans29]

Frustrated - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: Caitlin is frustrated and you save the day HC (based on THIS request)

Warnings: just fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I am not a gamer but your girl tried.

Caitlin met you in one of her classes - the two of you were partnered up for a project that had to do with marketing strategies. Your topic was video games and how they are marketed differently than other products. You had talked to one another here and there throughout your time at Iowa since you shared a major but nothing more than the simple 'Hi' or 'Did you get this part of the notes?'.

Partnering up with Caitlin was harder than you had expected considering her schedule but you made it work. Since the project was the whole semester long and would all culminate into your final project, you both made it a priority to meet up regularly to work on it. This included working around Caitlin's basketball schedule and your work schedule.

Due to both of your schedules, you ended up meeting up at the oddest times. Typically it was a late study night back at one of your apartments or the occasional weekend afternoon if you weren't working. But in all reality, neither of you wanted to be doing any sort of schoolwork on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

As the project progressed, so did your friendship with the school's star athlete. There would be times that you had planned to meet up to work on the project and ended up getting takeout and talking.

"You know I have never been a fan of partner work for class but you have made it bearable," you say as you take a bite of your food. "Thank you?" She asks confused but is followed by a laugh. "You're welcome," you say now also laughing. "Hey will all this talk about games and stuff, do you play?" She asks looking over at you. You bob your head around, "I dabble. I don't really play much anymore but grew up with brothers who were always gaming." "Well you should try sometime," Caitlin says taking a bite. "I don't have any sort of console," you say passing her a napkin. "You can always play here," she says knowing that she is widening the scope of your interactions. Up to this point, you would really only consider her your marketing partner but her asking you to do something more than the project projects you two in to the friend zone. "That would be cool," you say with a smile. You could use more friends on campus.

Over the course of the semester, in addition to working on your project, you found yourself over at Caitlin's apartment gaming. It mostly consisted of you watching her play games and keeping her company. Not that you ever minded. You would chill on her bed and watch her play.

Watching her play consisted of you typically watching her for the first few minutes and then picking up the book you brought to read. Caitlin never minded and really just enjoyed your company. She always played with one of her ears uncovered from her headset to hear your little remarks.

"Those flowers look like weeds my grandma would have me pick from her garden when I was little," you say, book in hand but looking at the screen in front of her. "Really?" Cait asked. "That's random." "You asked," you say as you look back down towards your book. "I didn't ask," she says turning to face you now. "You did, you asked when you invited me over to watch you game," you say with a smile. She rolls her eyes and turns back to the monitor. A few minutes pass before Caitlin is pulled out of the game by you but this time not by a comment. She sees you put your book down and make your way out of her room. "Where are you going?" She yells after you but doesn't leave her spot. "Don't worry about it," you say. Cait knows you weren't leaving because your book was still propped open on her bed and if there is anything she has learned about you it's that you don't go anywhere without it. You come back 30 minutes later with a plate in your hand. Caitlin perks up knowing the smell of what's on it before you even enter the room. "Cookies?" She asks. "Cookies," you say as you sit on the corner of her bed and offer the plate to her. She goes to take the plate and you swat her hand. "Not the whole plate, just take one, you say biting into the one in your hand. She grabs one and it is gone in two bites. "Mmmm chocolate chip, my favorite," she says and turns back to her game.

Little to your knowledge, Caitlin was getting quite comfortable with your presence. She would invite you over just to have you present. You never minded. You enjoyed her company as well. It was easy - the two of you never needed to entertain each other when you were together.

Little to her knowledge, you sort of fibbed a little when you told her you dabbled in gaming before. You did much more than dabble. You would dominate your brothers which caused them to never want to play with you. Gaming just came naturally to you. Your instinct and reaction were something that couldn't be taught.

All of this leads to a turning point in Caitlin's knowledge of you as well as her feelings.

Caitlin groans yet again as she tosses her controller and removes her headset. "What's up CC?" You ask, not looking up from your book. "So stupid," she says and flops down on her bed next to you. You look up and see the screen she is on. You have been there before - your brothers had gotten the game over the summer and played it nonstop, all the way through. "Mind if I try?" You ask. "Good luck," she says sarcastically. When you grab the controller and give it a go - Caitlin knows you have been holding out on her when you didn't ask what buttons mean what and what the goal is for where her character is at in the game. She sits back and watches you, jaw-dropping as watches you navigate the side quest she was so adamant about completing. When you complete it on the first go, Caitlin is in awe. She pushes you over and presses you into the bed, shaking you. "Where did that come from???" She yells both in excitement and confusion. "Cait, you are crushing me," you say as the girl over you continues to press all the air in your lungs out of you. "You have been lying to me!" She is still shaking you. "Caitlin Clark!" You yell with every ounce of breath you have left. She finally lets up on you but sits on her knees next to you. "Why haven't you been playing with me?" She asks as she lets you sit up. "Cause when I play - people end up getting frustrated with me and never want to play with me," you say. "I don't believe it, we are playing together right now," Caitlin says as she gets up and grabs a second controller.

Caitlin very quickly learns why no one likes to play with you. You don't mess up. It takes her about a week to realize she misses the days when you would come over and read while she plays.

One night in particular, Cait reaches a breaking point.

The night is a little different than the others as you have brought a book and decided to read while CC plays. As you are reading you hear Cait groan in frustration - multiple times. "What Cait," you say not also annoying because her sighing and groaning now interrupting your reading. She doesn't say anything as she is lying face down next to you with her face in her hands. You see the screen and grab her controller. You seamlessly make your way through another scene, getting it on the first try. Caitlin whips her head around when she hears the sound of the level begin complete. "Unbelievable," Caitlin says frustrated. "CC," you say as you watch her move from her laying position to a sitting one and cross her arms. "Oh come on, CC," you say and she just pouts. Whenever she gets frustrated, she acts like a toddler. You thought it was adorable but never made that known since the two of you had always just been friends. You begin to poke at her sides, pinching them and causing her to squirm. A smile peaks on your face as you keep poking at her. Caitlin's arms now are unfolded trying to stick to her sides to diminish the surface area you have access to. When you begin to tickle her full-on - you can see her fighting a smile as her hands come up to try to grab yours to get you to stop. "I surrender!" Caitlin yells trying to get you to stop, which you do. You didn't realize you had moved to straddle her and are now sitting on her while Cait's hands hold yours on her stomach. Caitlin sits up a little, her hands leaving yours and holding your waist to make sure you don't move off of her when she sits up. You don't know what to feel - your heart is racing and you don't know if that is from just trying to tickle the girl you are on or because of your growing feelings. Caitlin is looking at your lips and you can't help but lick your bottom lip. This causes Cait to lean in. "Don't move," she whispers as she brings her lips to meet yours. Her hands are firm on your hips as your hands come to wrap around her neck. Once you begin to kiss her back, she pulls you closer to her and kisses you in a manner that is much more than friendly. You pull away, both of you panting. Your head is spinning. "Caitlin," you say and she leans her forehead against yours. "Yes?" She asks one of her hands coming to cup your face, brushing her thumb along your cheek. "Caitlin," you say with a sigh. She smiles and pulls you in for another kiss.

From then on, the two of you decided that you could not game together and that Caitlin would only call on you to help her when she really needed it. Which she never liked to admit but loves watching you dominate.

The two of you end up having to catch up on your project as the semester comes to an end. It is annoying but you both end up having to put a few Saturdays into it. When you finally present your project a weight is lifted off of your shoulders because you no longer have to be Cait's marketing partner and could just be her girlfriend.

AN: Strayed a little from the request but I hope it makes sense. Let me know what you think. And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[vacayisland]

Could you do a John Dory x Retired Singer/Musician Reader? Pls and thank you

(I loved meet the wifie I fucking cackled at "imma beat his ass!")

@!; Oldies are always better. John Dory / Retired! Reader

"Tag List"! @writergal02 @chamille-trash @valvalentine69 @starzwithapen @ykvlanq @apieceofcathair3 @kitthefanfickat

ꨄ︎. You were a big alt-indie musician, making music that tended to have a little bit of everything; the funk and beat of the funk tribe and the techno tribe, the guitar riffs and drum solos from the rock tribe, some classical instruments as undertones, and pop-like lyrics and beats. All the while you also put your own spin on it. Music had always been an outlet for you, always allowed you to take what was in your head and thread it into sound for everyone to hear. Sometimes it was chaotic, sometimes it was mellow, and it always depended on your mood when writing, composing, and singing. It's usually was drew people to your music. It was down to Earth, yet also complex and simple at the same time. Those who wanted to dive into the meaning of your music and dissect it would find multiple layers, many undertones that all harmonized. Those who just wanted to vibe out to your music could do that as well.

ꨄ︎. When you had left your career behind, it wasn't because of anything bad. You left with one final song in which explained that you were stepping down to let the new generation to find their own flow, to let other people take the stage, to be able to sit back and enjoy everything that will come in the future. You were only around 24 when you put down your guitar for the final time for the public; But you never gave up music for good on your own. While you never published anything anymore, you kept writing and composing for yourself as it was truly your passion.

ꨄ︎. This is when JD found you, playing in a friend's cafe. You had caught his attention right away, so much so he didn't hear the waiter when he had asked for JD's order. He was honestly so captivated by you for a moment he wondered if you were some sort of siren. He soon realized, yeah no you weren't, you just were really, really good. And he needed your number, badly. And that sounded a little creepy, but when you see someone who's not only good looking but knows how to sing and play an instrument all in one? You don't miss that chance to talk them up, and JD was defiantly not missing his chance!

ꨄ︎. JD didn't see a ring on your finger, it was fair game for him. Luckily you hadn't been seeing anyone at the time, but you still gave him a reality check after he approached you as though he was the coolest guy on the planet; Introducing himself before using some sort of cheesy pick up line to get your number. "Hey, babe, my name is John Dory and you seem rather lonely. You know, I can fill that 'me' shaped hole in your heart if you give me your number!" And then he winked!? Your friend was flabbergasted. You thought he was really brave.

ꨄ︎. And you hate to admit that his stupid pick-up line (which didn't even seem like a pick-up line!) actually worked and he got your number. (And he would be so smug and proud about this fact for the rest of his life.)

ꨄ︎. You two talked for a few months before making anything official, and then you waited about a year or two before you two even thought about moving in together. Even so, by 6 months of dating you basically lived in Rhonda; Your stuff littered his home, you had your own set of clothes there, your own toothbrush, and even your own house slippers. Then when you moved in, it felt natural. It felt like this was where you were always meant to end up and somehow the planets aligned. And for some reason JD never noticed the fact you brought in an electric guitar, which also sat in your shared closet. Sometimes you wonder if he's just stupid or a little blind, because he's also seen your play.

ꨄ︎. Either way, one day when he was hoisting his brothers over (after the whole Floyd situation got resolved, and god you were kind of glad you were staying with friends during all of that; not because you didn't like his brothers but because you didn't think you could handle meeting his family during that whole situation.) when they heard you playing your guitar in the bedroom. You weren't doing anything fancy, mostly tuning the guitar and making sure the strings didn't need to be replaced. But, of course, that always had to include one of your most iconic guitar riffs from a song about fighting your crushing mentality during the lowest part of your career. "Holy shit dude, I didn't know your lover listened to (Y/N)!" Branch would be the first to comment, being the most diverse music listener in the family. Floyd, who had been distracted by the riff, perked up at the conversation and nodded in agreement. JD only gave them a confused look, leaning against his kitchen counter, "Dude, my lover is (Y/N)?" And JD wasn't sure what to expect, but it wasn't all four of his brothers stopping and staring at him completely baffled. Mostly Floyd and Branch, who soon yelled a rather loud, "WHAT?!" "What?!" Which only confused JD more.

ꨄ︎. You hadn't met JD's family before this point, but you've heard all about them; Not only from JD, when he told you about his band days, and when you heard them around the trailer when they would come over. Usually you stayed in the bedroom, not to be rude yet to just let JD have his time with his brothers. Yet, you couldn't understand what all the yelling was about, "Yo, Que te pasa? Why the hell are you guys yelling?" You would ask, poking your head out of the door to the bedroom. Your expression tired, your hair messier, yet you could care less at this moment; You were sure JD's brothers wouldn't mind, they would see you worse later on since you were planning to stay with that big doofus. "Oh my god-" You flinched when Floyd dropped the cup he was holding, his jaw dropping upon seeing you; And honestly, for a second, you forgot you used to be a big artist. "John Dory," You started, startled by the reactions his brothers were giving, "Vas a decirme lo que esta pasando ahora mismo."

ꨄ︎. JD is always a little intimidated when you speak Spanish, mostly because his Grandma used to scold him and his brothers in Spanish. So he only explained (rather quickly) how his brothers had heard you tuning your guitar in the bedroom and how they just got weird. And that's when Branch defended himself, along with Floyd, how JD never told them that you were his lover! "And what's it to you that I love your brother?" You shot back quick and snappy, crossing your arms as you shot a glare their way. You weren't above throwing hands with JD's brothers. Floyd noticed the way JD glanced away, sipping his coffee. He was quick to stand up, placing a hand on Branch's shoulder to calm him, before explaining the whole situation to you better; Saying how Branch and Floyd were just big fans of your music and they didn't realize that you were with JD, because no matter how much JD spoke about you he never told them that you were his lover.

ꨄ︎. "Oh, Mierda lo siento." God, this made things a little awkward, "I thought you were about to be one of those horrible step-siblings that didn't like his brother's lover for some dumb reason like my hair." "What? No!-" "No, yeah, I see that now. My bad, really sorry." You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, "JD can be really, really dense sometimes, shut it John Dory!," You pointed a finger at JD before he could make a peep in protest about your slight insult, but it was made out of full love. "Let's start over, hi I'm (Y/n) and it's really nice to meet you."

ꨄ︎. Safe to say, JD forgot to tell his brothers that he was dating an old sensational artist...and kind of forgot you were one and was very shocked to realize this! Furthermore, you were a little flabbergasted when he revealed that some of BroZone's songs were influenced by your music. You would stare at JD after he confessed such a large secret, "Wow... that's a big insult." You mumbled sarcastically under your breath. "EXCUSE ME?!" But you guessed JD missed the sarcasm. "I'm being sarcastic, love. That's kind of sweet." Playfully rolling your eyes, you pressed a kiss into JD's cheek before turning back to his brothers. You crossed your legs, rested your elbow against your knee, and held your face in your hands. "Now about you four, how about we get to actually know each other. I'm planning to remain in this family after all..."

ꨄ︎. Safe to say that JD is wifing/husbanding/etc. you up really quick.

ꨄ︎. He still brags about how he first got your number and how he managed to 'snatch you up' before anyone else could. You told him he's too old to use new lingo and to stop, lovingly of course as you didn't want your 'husband' to embarrass himself. He melted hearing you call him husband before getting a bigger ego boost; And you had fun watching him terrorize his siblings while his ego was so inflated. You even jokingly did the whole 'I'm watching you' eyes to one of his brothers (Clay) as a silent threat that this is how you were always going to hand JD off to them like. He gave you the biggest (playful) stink eye ever. Yeah, you're going to fit right into this family.

.ᐟ this work is published and owned by @vacayisland. please do not plagiarize, copy, or steal this work; like, reblogs, and saves are appreciated :D

[save-the-villainous-cat]

request idea: a stubborn and naive hero desperately wants to redeem the villain but the villain refuses because of their selfish nature, they only care about the hero but can't see themselves doing a heroic act for anyone else have a wonderful day!!

Once the hero opened their eyes, they truly felt the pain. Their muscles were sore and they could barely move. All they could remember was the brutal fight and horrible humiliation. A battle so bloody, they had expected to die there in that warehouse. Surrounded by their friends.

They had tried to help the other heroes but in reality, everyone had been on their own. The hero remembered being shot in the leg. Remembered seeing teammates die.

For a second, they had hoped it was a nightmare but it had been quite uncomfortably real. They took in a painful breath.

They were so full of despair, it was basically gnawing on them. Guilt overwhelmed them and they felt like throwing up.

They turned around in the villain's bed and saw their nemesis on the other side of it, reading a book. It wasn't surprising to the hero, after all they had played this game a thousand times already.

"My friends," the hero said. Their voice was hoarse. They could barely swallow. As if their throat had turned into a hot metal tube.

The villain looked down at them.

"I'll be honest, it wasn't pretty," the villain said. They put the book aside. "From what I saw, only a few managed to escape."

The hero nodded but they felt empty. Their exhaustion had taken most of their strength and the villain's bed was a little too comfortable. Unsurprisingly, the hero felt bandages all around their body but it didn't really change anything - their thigh seemed to be on fire and they had to concentrate really hard to prevent themselves from crying.

Pain had become familiar but that didn't mean the hero could ever get used to it. Usually, the villain didn't drug them without their consent (except for that one time when the villain had dug a bullet out of the hero's shoulder.) But most of the time, the hero wished they did it anyway.

"Did you help them?" the hero asked. A redundant question. They tried to sit up but the upcoming headache was so harsh, they had to sink back into the mattress. The villain moved the hero's pillow to make it more comfortable for them.

Survivor guilt was cruel. The hero had been forced to participate in endless seminars to discuss it but it had never truly helped them. From mission to mission, they just felt more miserable and having someone rescue them every time made it even worse. It was cursed.

"I am sorry," the villain whispered. The villain tested the hero's temperature with the back of their hand on the hero's forehead. "But I am not like you."

"You could be."

"I can't be," the villain said. "You know I can't. How are you feeling? Do you need some water?"

"If you had time to save me, you must have had enough time to save other people as well," the hero said.

"Love, you know me," the villain said. They moved to lie down next to the hero. They stared at each other, the hero with all their frustrating pain and the villain with all their logical indifference. "I refuse to risk even a second when it comes to you. Do you want anything to drink?"

"I don't understand. You could be such a good person. You could save people on a daily basis but you simply refuse? You can be kind and you can be good but you- I don't understand."

"I know this upsets you," the villain said. Carefully, they searched with their fingertips for the hero's hand but when they touched, the hero pulled away. "But you have always been my priority."

"We are not together anymore," the hero said. "You know that, right?"

"...I know."

"You are not supposed to love me anymore," the hero said. "You are not supposed to save me or bandage me or pity me."

"I'm sorry, I can't help it," the villain said. They didn't meet the hero's eyes this time. But the hero was too exhausted for fighting, they were too exhausted for another disagreement.

It had been an awful break-up. An ugly type of heartbreak that had reduced the hero to a sobbing mess. They would break down randomly, right in the middle of the day. It would leave them scarred and unable to get out of bed for days.

And all of that because they had chosen to break up with the villain.

"Loving you is easy," the villain said. "I will always care about you. I can't just...turn it off."

"You need to stop," the hero whispered. Their voice was shaking. Tears were falling. They could feel their wound pulse. "You need to stop with the love letters and the flowers and the saving. You need to stop with all of this. It's not good for either of us."

"I am already keeping my distance," the villain said. "We see each other maybe once a month."

"And that's already too much." Again, the villain stretched out their hand and this time, the hero let them take theirs. Their heart couldn't take it anymore. For weeks, they had been losing people they cared about left and right. Whenever a situation seemed hopeless, the villain showed up to save them.

And the hero couldn't tell if they preferred dying over it. Sometimes, that seemed like a more merciful circumstance but they couldn't tell.

"Do you hate me?" the villain asked softly. They looked as miserable as the hero felt.

The hero didn't answer. Of course they were angry, of course they were hateful but it was directed at someone else.

"Again, I am sorry. But saving someone else and risking your life - it doesn't work like that. I can't do it, I just cannot. I don't want you to hate me for it."

"I don't hate you," the hero said. "I despise myself for being too weak. I despise myself for being responsible for our break-up. I am bad at being a hero. I can't even save myself. I can't save my friends, I cannot save my relationship - I despise myself for being so impotent. I hate it. I hate it."

"You are frustrated, I get that. But blaming yourself and hating yourself for all of the things that are happening around you isn't helping you. All of your friends know the risks of doing this. They know what they are getting themselves into. They are responsible adults who are willing to save others - they are willing to risk their own life for other people. You cannot blame yourself for their actions."

"It's not fair, though."

"No, it isn't. It is not fair. But you are not responsible, no matter how you toss and turn this situation. You did your best. You got shot. You broke your ribs. You passed out. What else was there to do for you?"

The hero didn't answer. They didn't like conversations like these. It didn't make them feel better.

"I just sometimes wish you were good. Not even for the sake of being good but for my sake. So, I can be proud of you."

The villain looked quite pale. Eyes wide, they stared at the hero.

And the hero knew it hurt to hear something like that. Hell, it hurt to say it.

"Did you leave me because I wasn't more like you?" the villain asked carefully. Now, their voice was trembling and the hero couldn't help but feel horribly guilty again.

Everything they touched turned into ashes and expressing their feelings seemed only to hurt other people. They had asked themselves often if simply not talking would solve all matters.

"I left because it was wrong to stay with someone who was against everything I stand for."

"I'm not - no, I adore what you do, I just can't - seriously, I am not against-"

"It's about what other people see. My friends, my boss, the public...I never wanted to keep my relationship a secret and us together...It wasn't right, it looked like I was betraying my own people."

"Does that mean...you were still in love with me when we broke up? That you didn't leave because you fell out of love?"

"No. Though it would have been easier that way, I fear." They turned around in bed. They couldn't look at the villain, they couldn't look them in the eyes when they said these next few words. "I don't resent you. But I could never see myself loving someone like you ever again."

[ashwhowrites]

Eddie tries to make his girlfriend jealous, but it doesn't work, she gets sad instead, thinking he doesn't love her anymore

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting <3

Jealousy games

Eddie liked to play pranks and tricks. He enjoyed messing with people's emotions, laughing at their anger, and just having fun.

He saw it as innocent jokes, never quite realizing how much damage certain pranks could do. Never knowing when it went too far.

Y/N tried to understand Eddie's jokes for his sake. She knew many people get pissed off at him and she wanted to be there for him.

Just as Eddie always did, he went too far.

~~~

Y/N and Eddie were having a date at the beach. Y/N wasn't a fan of the water, sand, and sitting in the heat for hours, but she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to see Eddie shirtless. And she was glad she came because as she watched Eddie come out from the water, his head shaking as his curls bounced and dried. The droplets went down his chest, skipping down to his happy trail, her eyes following to where the water stopped.

"See something you like?" His voice snapped her out of her daydream, her eyes looking up to see him standing over her.

"Huh?" she asked, blinking as she snapped to reality.

"Nothing," Eddie laughed, leaning down to grab his wallet near her hip.

"Getting ice cream, want one?" He asked, Y/N gladly agreed. A smile on her face as she watched him run in the sand. She checked out his ass as he leaned over the counter to order. Her eyes skipped down to his tatted legs. She could feel the drool on her chin.

Eddie smiled at the cashier as he grabbed two ice cream cones. He turned to walk back to his girlfriend when a girl stepped in front of him. She had dark hair, tan skin, and a red swimsuit. He eyed her swimsuit, realizing she was a lifeguard.

Over her shoulder, he could see his girlfriend lying out in the sun, her eyes on them. Her heated glare gave Eddie a dangerous idea. A harmless joke, a little tease to get her teeth grinding.

Y/N squinted her eyes to see if she was seeing things. Her eyes froze in on Eddie laughing with this girl. Her hand was on his arm, fingernails moving up and down against his skin. And Eddie did nothing to stop it. He smiled and leaned his head closer. Y/N couldn't believe what she was seeing. Eddie was flirting with another girl, on their date, right in front of her.

He wasn't close enough for her to hear anything that was being said, but the way his body leaned into this girl made Y/N feel sick. His dazzling smile and dimples swooned the girl over.

When Eddie finally walked over to her, she tried to hide how hurt she was. Eddie handed her the melted ice cream cone. The snarky comment made it past her lips.

"Could have at least brought the ice cream over before that," Eddie smirked at her reaction. He figured he made her jealous, take the win, and move on. But he didn't, he wanted to see how far he could push her.

He didn't comment on her attitude, ignoring the comment, he moved on.

He relaxed next to her on his side, the girl still behind her. He looked from Y/N to behind her, to make it obvious he was looking past her. Y/N scrunched her nose but didn't say anything.

She decided to tell a random story, seeing if she could get his attention. But his eyes didn't move to her since. His eyes were still locked on the girl. She couldn't help but feel sick with herself. The comparison of that girl and her, all the ways she fell short. She could feel the tightness in her throat as the tears welled up. Surely, he didn't care about her anymore. He got bored of her, he didn't love her anymore.

Y/N rushed to stand up, gathering her shoes.

"I'll just go so you don't have to look through me to see her," Y/N said, preparing to walk away but Eddie stopped her.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked

"Home. I don't see why I should be here." She said. Eddie stood up and stepped in front of her.

"Because I want you here. Are you just a bit jealous?" Eddie smirked, his hands on his hips.

"No." Y/N scoffed

"I think you are!" Eddie teased, pointing his fingers at her. "Someone's jealous, someone's jealous, someone's jealous."

"EDDIE STOP! Not everything is a joke. If my feelings are just a joke to you, then fuck off." She snapped, moving past him as she headed to the parking lot.

"Woah! Hey hey!" Eddie panicked, grabbing her hand to stop her. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You just thought it would be funny, I know. You got the reaction you wanted so drop it."

"Baby, I didn't want you to be upset. Just a little jealous, that's it. I'm sorry I went too far. Talk to me." His eyes were finally on her.

"Jealousy isn't a game, Eddie. It's the feeling of being insecure and not good enough. We are on a date and you eyed her more than you've ever looked at me. You were holding my ice cream and flirting with her. Even when I tried talking to you, you completely ignored me. Does that sound funny to you or that my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore?" Her eyes watered as she asked.

"It sounds like your boyfriend is a complete asshole. I love you so much and I'm sorry I made you think I don't love you. It was wrong to play with your feelings and I'll never do it again. You are the only one I want to be with, I promise. It's just you." He said softly, cradling her face. She sniffled but melted into his touch.

"Promise you love me?" She whimpered

"I promise I love you so fucking much." He promised, leaning down to place his lips on hers, kissing her softly.

"Let's go home and I'll show you just how much I love you." He smirked against her lips, his hands gripping her hips.

"You made me cry! And you think you're getting sex?" She teased, she smacked his chest. "You are making me dinner."

"Dinner it is." Eddie agreed. Walking back to grab all their things. Together they walked to the car, the lifeguard out of sight and out of mind.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 8

That's it. That's my (late) intro this week.

But in all seriousness, although I was somewhat prepared because of the additional previews that dropped for this episode, I don't think it's really possible to be fully prepared for how something might hit you until you actually see it. And parts of it didn't hit great, lads.

Just know that I'm using the term 'favorite' from a mostly acting perspective for this week and probably next week too.

For my own sanity I'm starting off with Mahasamut's fond husband smile. Mostly because I can and I want to but also because we got see a lot of it this episode. The sweetness that I noted last week is still very present.

I was also very glad to see that Mahasamut has forged a very affectionate bond with Meena.

Mira, Viviana, you've got no business looking disappointed that your plans aren't working out the way you want them to and lamenting about it in voiceover when you keep playing these games with my girly. Things will progress if you're clear!

The sweetneeeessssssss.

Vivi makes the best faces when she's watching Tongrak and Mahasamut be sweet. She can't see the writing on her own wall but she can see it on theirs.

Viviana! It's not a competition! It's not a race! Where's P'Kit someone go get him and make him have a come to jesus with Vivi. She's even got Tongrak telling her that fiction ain't reality and that she needs to use her words.

Tongrak, you are gone for this man.

"Nonsense!" he says. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt anymore, is it, Harry? I do love the sibling energy these two have. They're the Spider-Man meme except they're both clowns calling each other out for not expressing their feelings.

It's Mahasamut sleeping peacefully like the angel he is while Tongrak wrestles with the fact that Vivi is right for me.

I expected a lot more smugness and vitriol from Prin given that she's scheming to destroy Tongrak and has done it with such gusto up until now but it says a lot that even she looks disgusted with what she's doing. She won't even let Jak touch her. Turns out even a hell witch has her limits.

But this man? No such luck.

He's making this face after being asked to destroy his child. Prin offered him five million (and possibly more) to hurt Rak and he looks happy about it. Giddy even. That's sheer malice. Absolutely beyond fucked up.

When your adorable teenage niece roasts you for not having any friends and coming to her for advice.

If "Bet." was a facial expression.

Who's the cat and who's the canary now, Khun Tongrak?

Mahasamut's got cartoon hearts floating around his head and baby girl is so done with him.

*holds on to this moment for a second longer*

I throw roses at Peat's feet every week for how fantastic his face acting is but don't think for a moment that Fort doesn't deserve them too because he absolutely does.

Mut's face was all warmth and smiles when he was alone with Meena, then it became more guarded and cautious when they were approached, then we landed at this when Meena confirmed that the trash in front of them was her grandfather.

Fort's face is naturally very sweet and soft. He's got the opposite of resting bitch face but the fact that he can affect one so well when it's so far removed from what comes naturally to him is all in the eyes.

Look at his gaze. His eyes are normally very sparkly but here they look flat and cold and you can barely see his pupils. These are the dead calculating eyes of a shark and they reveal more hatred than words ever could and that takes TALENT.

I have to give An props for that too because he's also very good at the shark eyes but he's using them in a different way than Fort is.

Look at this screenshot and tell me it doesn't feel like Jak is looking through Mahasamut instead of at him. I can't quite describe how his face emotes but doesn't show actually genuine emotion, it's very impressive and unsettling.

The only time it felt like Jak was actually feeling something was when he looked happy about fucking with Tongrak's life.

Save me, adoring smile. Adoring smile, save me.

VIVIANA! I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST LET KAIMOOK LEAVE YOUR APARTMENT WITHOUT CHASING AFTER HER TO MAKE SURE SHE KNEW YOU KISSED HER AS YOURSELF!

LOOK AT HER FACE. QUIT FUCKING WITH MY KID AND MAKE YOUR FEELINGS CLEAR.

Microseconds were all it took to shift from the gentle loving look Mahasamut was giving a sleeping Tongrak to silent rage as he recalled the encounter with Jak. Microseconds.

Incredulous disgust. I'd lay bets that we all looked like this when we heard Jak say he wanted to fulfill his role as Tongrak's father.

PEAT HAS MADE THIS EXACT FACE AND I HATE IT. NINA MY BABY YOU'RE SO TALENTED AND IN THIS MOMENT I HATE IT. THEIR EYES ARE EVEN A SIMILAR COLOR AND CATCH THE LIGHT THE SAME WAY.

IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit my tiny baby princess this is the look of someone so much older than you IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit

Gone. Besotted. Utterly enamored.

How could anyone look like this

when their child is looking at them like this?

I hate how much Jak is enjoying this and there is absolutely no doubt that he is, it's vile.

It took me a very long time to get Chris Chiu's scream out of my head when I watched Unknown and it's going to take even longer for me to be able to look at An Oliver Poupart without feeling my skin crawl.

To end this on a high note, I'm going to point out that Mahasamut's shirt isn't just a solid color.

It's TEXTURED.

The straits may be dire but if nothing else, at least it looks like I'm clowning in the right direction. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in these weekly writeups!

[heartfullofleeches]

Yan Clown/Circus + Imaginary Friend Darling Blurb

Throughout life, friends come and go, but you - were always the first.

Things were simple in the beginning. Sit with that lonely kid at the playground, wipe their face with your sleeves, and ask if they wanted to be friends. They always said yes. You were inseparable. Playing until streetlights came on plus a seat saved for you at the dinner table when they reluctantly returned home. The biggest fears you faced where the monsters under the bed and the dark... then came school, homework, the future. Your playdates became so far and few, they put in the efforts to make new friends and you were so happy for them.

"Y/n? Who's that? Quit talking to yourself and come hang out with us."

But none of them ever wanted to be yours. Your friend was never home anymore and when they were it was always school work or video games taking their attention. Your place at the table was given to someone else. They'd gradually drift away from speaking to you and it was like you never existed in the first place to them, and maybe you never did - so you left. Back to that empty that existed before it all. There, you remembered all your friends. All your precious memories and the treasures they gave you their parents questioned them about when they disappeared. You hated it there. You didn't want to reminisce on the good times - it only lead to wordless goodbyes. Why - why did they always leave you behind?

"I got invited to a slumber party this weekend... Everyone turned out to be so nice once I gave them a chance like you told me to.... You'll... always be my best friend, but I have real ones now. I'm not a kid anymore - and I can't live in a fantasy world forever."

Of course you always knew - but did your time together really mean nothing? The smiles and tears, joys and fears - were those fake too? This was how life for you went and has gone your entire path. Make a new friend, wait for them to make their own, force yourself to forget, and repeat. You never, ever blamed them for abandoning you. It was your biggest dream to see your friends go out in the world and do all the things you rambled about for hours - you just wished you could've been their when they made their dreams come true. If they could make those fantasies reality, why couldn't you be real too them? It's not fair-

"Hey! You gonna put your raspberry in the square yet? I don't mind waiting cuz you're really cute - but I've eaten most of the blueberries already and if I eat one more I won't have enough for a win."

A new friend - you kept them waiting, lost in your thoughts like that. There's something different about this one... They're a lot bigger than your old friends and dress strange just like those funny people in shows. How old are they?

"28..... Is my favorite number because that's how many waffles I can eat before throwing up. I dunno my age really, I like a lot of candles on my pie so it's hard to remember. I'm probably waaaaaay older - or younger, but I'm definitely not younger than eighteen because I get a new doll every year - and there's a ton. Hey, when's your birthday so we can get your collection started?"

An adult - An adult can see you, but why?

"Hmmm, I dunno how you got in here either. I was just thinking about how great it would be to have someone to eat all these waffles with since I made 29 today - and poof you appeared outta nowhere. You gotta so me that trick eventually - wanna be pals? I'll give you... a quarter, no- half the stack if ya stick around. My name's Gus. Gus the clown."

A clown... Alot of your friends loved those, others were terrified. This one reminded you alot of them. So silly and carefree, just like they always were before reality kicked in. It was never that way for Gus. You'll never forget the shocked look on their face when you told them chocolate milk didn't come from brown cows. They serenaded you with songs detailing your adventures together and nearly had a heart attack when you played peekaboo together which they later tried to play off as good acting - the tear smudges in their paint was just from hot how was is.

At the same time, Gus was far more mature they let on. They fantasized about finding the missing piece to their act and heart, and hopefully marrying that special someone someday. They were all smiles - but as soon as someone got hurt they knew when to drop the act and when to use it to their advantage. You prayed the day they found someone they wouldn't ditch you like everyone else.

It turned out there were a lot more like Gus. True to their status as a performer, they worked and lived in a traveling circus with others who were accepting of you - and had the eyes to see you. They never doubted your existence like parents used to and believed near ever word Gus said even when at the point in time you were nothing more than the ramblings of a mad-clown, and greeted you in kind. Overtime, you became corporal for these performers too and the brief hellos turned to bear hugs thrust upon dolls Gus' sibling made for everyone to have when they wanted sat hello. They still couldn't touch you, but for the first time everyone knew you were their and love you the same, if not more than the friend you came for. Sometimes it really did feel like you were a real person. If only....

"Ouch!"

You pull your hand away from Gus' as the clown bursts into a fit of giggles - yelping in pain as they clap their hands together, electrocuting themselves on the buzzer.

Whoo! That definitely sends a shock through ya. Can't believe that got you. Hey - that got you... you've never been hurt by any of the things we've done before."

They're right. That really did hurt. Wait. It hurt. You've never been able to interact with anything before - leaving Gus overwhelmed on brunch dates when they devoured your share. What's going on?

Gus expresses the confusion you're both feeling with a high-pitched scream. They dart around the room, nabbing their emergency supplies of candy from beneath their pillow. "Ahhhh, idea - Y/n, try one of these - hurry!"

You take one of the licorice sticks and shove it in your mouth. If picked up the treat wasn't proof enough, the explosion of flavor on your tongue confirmed your theories.

"It's...good."

Gus races in a circles, squeeling in delight as they grab and pinch your plush - warm cheeks. "They've never been warm before! This is amazing. Ahhh, next test- here goes!"

Shutting their eyes, Gus rams their lips against yours - grinning with teeth against your skin. They kiss your lips, cheeks, and noses - smothering you with a hug, soaking up the beat of your speeding heart.

"You have no idea long I've wanted to do that...."

You're still reeling from everything going on. "W-what's happening, Gus?"

"No clue! If you want my guess, I'd say so many people believing in you made you real like that one movie with the puppet. The others! Oh, man everyone's gonna love this! Come on!"

Gus picks you up and sprints to the main show room. They gather everyone into the area along with the biggest mirror they could find. They try to explain, but the excitement gets the better of them. Frustrated by everyone's agreeable questions - they rip off the blanket covering the mirror and your reflection, and the crowd goes wild.

"That wasn't there before! Can we touch Y/n now???"

"I call dibs on giving them their first piggyback ride!"

"Wonderful timing! I knitted you a lovely scarf before I forgot you technically were a figment of our combined imaginations."

"If they're really here and can touch stuff... They can be part of the show - can't they?"

Thats right. You'd fit right in with your history too. After a celebratory dinner and cuddle session - the preparations for your big debut were made. As expected, everyone loved you. You and Gus were the starting act, and two halves of the same whole. People saw you, they praised you, loved you. The adoration of the crowd was like no other, but everything after the curtains were closed was even better. Gus kept to their promise of never leaving you behind. You were that missing piece - someone they couldn't live without. It was time for you to finally grow up and leave the ghosts of the past where they lied.

"Aw, don't be like that, sweetie. You'll love it once we get there."

This is bullshit. Their college gradation and their folks were dragging them to some circus. Luckily they had a few buds pull through for an aftershow at a nearby bat.

"Maybe your opinion will change when you see the staring act. That clown reminds me a lot of that friend you used to go on about. What was their name again? I think it was -"

Y/n. Your name and smiling face were plastered on a billboard they passed. It was no vague resemblance - that was their first companion down to the scrunchie you wore around your wrist that they gave you on the day they gave you the lukewarm mercy of a goodbye. It couldn't really be you - right?

"Look how big you've grown...."

No-

"Your parents tell me you're graduating this year. I'm so, so proud of you. Are you going to become a scientist just like you said?"

How?

"You always said it was so you could find a way for everyone to see me too... I'm sorry for holding you back for so long. It's good that you made friends. I made alot too - really good ones. With them, I can live in fantasy and the real world at the same time. It's so much fun."

What are you apologizing for? Why are you acting like you're the one that abandoned them. You were everywhere to them. Everything they ever achieved was because of the shoulder you gave them to lean on. Being with you was like a dream - but everyone has to wake up eventually.

"Oops! Looks like a wasted all our time. I have a few more scheduled greets, but maybe if you stay after we can chat a little more before you leave. See you!"

They don't want to leave. There's still so much to be explained; to say and do, but just like them - you were gone as you appeared. They had to see you again in a better time. Do imaginary friends drink coffee?"

"How's it feel to be the one on the other end of the stick?"

Another clown stands behind them. It was the same one that shared your act. Gus. What do they want?

"Y'know I know alllll about what happened between you two. I know everything from their past since as their bestest friend - and potential future spouse - it's my job to make them loved enough to spill every, little detail. You shouldn't have come here. You're not the first to recognize them - and you won't be the last.

The ball of their wrist juts painfully against their skin as the clown grabs their arm.

"I won't let any of you get back into their heart. I won't let anyone hurt them again. You can't just take back what you broke when someone else fixes it. I'll make you feel what they felt. I'll make them forget you - and anyone who tries to take them from us that I promise and promises are meant to be kept. Quick question before you go though - think Y/n will like these matching necklaces I made us? Anything looks cute when its on them - but think it'll fit better than that old scrunchie."

[kisscara]

pity party [scaramouche x gn!reader] ⎯⎯ modern au, minor angst, fluff

scaramouche claimed he's never come to care about his birthday. anymore, at least. since kindergarten and every other grade after that, not a single person cared to show up when they were invited. he clearly remembers sitting at the dinner table, party hat atop his head seemingly drooping in the sad setting of the room.

but there was another thing. he always invited the whole class, except for one person. there were a lot of rumors about you and scaramouche wanted to stay as far away from you as possible so that his classmates wouldn't mistaken him for being your friend. it'd completely ruin his image.

however, on scaramouche's eighteenth birthday, he wondered what would happen should he invite you. of course, he'll slide invitations in the lockers of the rest of his peers, but just like before, they probably wouldn't care to come. it didn't even matter if they didn't have a gift, just their presence alone would put scaramouche over the moon.

and so, he waited in the living room. every now and then, he'd play video games on his phone, hoping to wait out the arrival of his peers much more quicker but in reality, he was trying to get his birthday over with.

suddenly, the sound of the doorbell going off caused him to sit up from his slouching position. could it be? scaramouche tossed his phone aside and practically ran to the front door. he swung it open and his heart began doing somersaults in his chest.

you awkwardly stood there, waiting for him to speak up. when he didn't say anything, you took it upon yourself to engage the conversation. "happy birthday, scaramouche." you presented your wrapped gift for him with a smile. he idly stood, frozen as you placed the gift in his hands.

you welcomed yourself inside of his home, and that's when he finally snapped out of his trance. "that took me a lot of time to wrap, so i'd appreciate it if you viciously ripped it apart when i leave," you playfully commented. scaramouche carefully put your gift on the table in the dining room and a grin tugged at the corner of his lips.

"this is a big occasion, isn't it? after all, you're finally an adult." you sat on the couch and scaramouche joined you. "um, yeah. listen, we haven't properly met before, right?" he asked. you murmured, "mhm, i figured you were avoiding me like everyone else." at that, scaramouche tensed up.

you burst into a fit of laughter, "c'mon, i'm just kidding! what's with the serious look?" scaramouche relaxed his shoulders in relief. his first party guest and he nearly screwed it over. you grinned, "i'm (name). they don't really like me just because... you know what, i don't know either but hey,"

you took a party hat from the table and placed it on your head. "i didn't know eighteen year olds still held birthday parties like this," you giggle, to which scaramouche replied in a flustered frenzy, "my mom put those out!" you laugh, "i get it. by the way, do you like horror movies?" scaramouche looked to the side.

"my mom still has me on a netflix kids account and she gets notified whenever i try making a purchase using my credit card..." scaramouche covered his face in embarrassment. you leaned against the couch, "you too, huh?" scaramouche looked up from his hands to glance at you.

has celestia sent down an angel for him?

you waved around a few dvd cases that came from your bag, "i used my friend's money to get these. i obviously paid them back." you stood up and crouched down in front of the dvd player on the tv set. "you ever watch a nightmare on elm street, poltergeist, scream, halloween... any of the classics at all?"

scaramouche shook his head and you flashed him a smile, "great, me neither!"

that evening, scaramouche lost track of time marathoning horror movies with you. the two of you ate the snacks from his dining room and hid under a big blanket, all of the lights turned off to set the right mood. he was grateful that you didn't question where the rest of the guests were, not once.

you tightened the grip on your popcorn bowl and scaramouche intently watched the screen. "i can't look," you squealed, covering your eyes. scaramouche couldn't help but let out a chuckle. he had a feeling that if he were watching horror movies alone, he'd be looking away as well. but he wouldn't miss this for the world.

suddenly, the front door slammed open and you and him shouted in unison. you fell off of the couch and scaramouche looked over. "oh, it's much too dark in here, it's bad for your eyes," ei tutted, turning on the light. she tilted her head, "kuni, who's that, dear?"

scaramouche gritted his teeth, "i'm busy, mom-" ei gasped, "is this a party guest?" she started giggling, "i expected this birthday to be like the rest but i'm glad you found a worthy friend, kuni! i'll be in my room, okay? don't stay up too late, you two!" you sat back down on the couch and exclaimed, "thank you, miss!"

the second scaramouche heard ei's bedroom door close, he turned the lights back off. "sorry about her," scaramouche muttered. the movie served as pure background noise as you remarked, "she seems sweet. where was she the whole time, work?" scaramouche mumbled, "yeah, runs a business."

your pupils dilated, "really? that's so cool, no wonder you have a ton of friends." scaramouche froze up from where he was sitting next to you. friends. in class, they'll act like his friends, but it's like they're strangers the second they step outside of the school grounds. i mean, they don't even go to his birthday parties.

"mhm." he rested his chin in his palm, "after this, are you going to pretend we don't know each other in class, just like before?" you perk up in surprise. "why would i? i have a new friend now ⎯ ah wait, i don't even know if it's mutual," you nervously corrected yourself with a sheepish smile.

scaramouche's porcelain complexion flushed red. "you... want to be my friend?" he asked in a small voice. "definitely! you're funner than i took you for, scaramouche!" you happily comment before tossing another popcorn into your mouth.

"okay. let's be friends, (name)." scaramouche gave you a smile and you smiled back. he looked at the television set. "by the way, funner isn't a word," he said. you complained, "is too!" scaramouche laughed. for the first time ever, he genuinely laughed with a friend.

a half hour later, you checked your phone's notifications. "oh, i got to go, my mom's car is outside." you quickly gathered your things and put on your shoes. scaramouche solemnly watched as you reached for the doorknob. "hey," at your call, he looked up from the floor.

"you can keep the dvds, i'll come back another time to get them. you can watch the rest without me or wait 'til i'm free. got it?" you winked at him and scaramouche lightly chuckled, "yeah, i'll wait for you." you waved, "thanks for the great night, scara! i'll see you at school tomorrow!"

and the front door shut with a click.

scaramouche's gaze caught your gift on the table. he made his way over and began to delicately unwrap it. he read the sticky note on the box, word for word. 'happy 18th birthday, scaramouche!! i don't know you too well, but i sewed this up myself. i hope you like it ♡'

scaramouche removed the top of the box and his eyes lit up. a felt doll that looked just like him. with caution, he took it out of the box, feeling as if he'd ruin this precious treasure so easily if he wasn't careful. he held it to his chest and sighed in content.

from that point on, he looks forward to his birthday, all because of one person.

© kisscara

[utilitycaster]

Unpopular opinion: parts of the cr fandom are really dismissive/ reductive of Travis’s characters. It feels like it’s due to Travis being seen as THE cis het man of the group, and by extension his characters must be heteronormative and bad, despite the fact that you could have queer interpretations of his characters. At the very least, Travis’s characters explore masculinity and the different ways it might look. It’s like the people who are all “ew men are gross and shitty” and act like that’s an absolutely normal reaction to a man just existing.

So this is another one in that I agree with the initial statement, but I'm actually not sure re: the reasoning why. I think it's possible but I could not tell you for sure.

I used to, again, think this was people carrying through Campaign 1 elements well beyond the point where C1 had ended, and so Grog having an intelligence of 6 was being applied to Travis; and this definitely does come through to an extent when people treat Fjord (objectively as smart as Beau without her circlet) as stupid or act shocked that Chetney is the brains of Bells Hells or that he can play a Cerrit, Fjord, or Nathaniel. However, again, I think this is one of those opinions that pops up among people who weren't around for Campaign 1 (or early enough in C2 to be exposed to it regularly) so I don't know if that's the case anymore. It could still be - it could be that Approved Fandom Opinions get passed down even when the logic behind them has long since been lost; that's a really common thing in institutional memory. But I can't say for sure.

I also have in the past credited it to, as you said, people assuming his characters are the cishet guys and then writing them off. That's still possible - I've seen both Fjord and Chetney called "token straight" despite considerable evidence of bisexuality, and they also paradoxically are both commonly headcanoned as trans while still getting called "token straight," which sort of ties into a post I would need to find from someone else from quite some time ago about which cast members are granted agency by the fandom in their choices vs. which are assumed to be the victims of circumstance. And I do think that there are people in fandom who have decided men are icky or whatever, and I used to think this came from a place of bigotry and a slide towards t*rf ideology but I now do genuinely think it's just idiots who don't grant interiority to characters outside their own limited understanding.

But I think it's also useful to consider a few things, most of which I've brought up before:

Travis is extremely offline. He is not here to entertain your headcanons; he has been politely but openly dismissive of some (imo, really fucking dumb) fanon/fan theories. I think the cast frequently talks about how it's their table, and I think that's valid and correct, but Travis is one of the players who lives it the most. He is playing this game with his friends, and he'd like it to be a good story, but if you don't like it, he is not here to make you like it. I think that really fucks with the parasocial connections some people desire with the cast.

Travis's characters tend to examine masculinity as a performance but also the general performance of the self, and the fact that you cannot in the end control how you are perceived entirely, and I think that really unsettles people who have equated presentation with reality and are again, looking for external validation of the self.

Travis can play it big but he's often extremely subtle, especially with his more serious characters, and he's not as easily quotable out of context as some others at the table. I think because he is a lot more naturalistic than dramatic at times (Chetney notwithstanding) and isn't as pithy and quotable in his characters as many of Taliesin's PCs are, and a lot of the strength is in the delivery, he gets overlooked despite being very good with words on the fly.

And finally: this would be a whole post on its own but people are still very foolishly wed to this idea that pressing the big red button in D&D is Wild and Chaotic and haha Big ADHD Man when it's actually how you play D&D if you're not a coward; the button is where the story is stored, and a lot of Travis's strength is that he is extremely good at understanding what the GM wants and supporting it with sufficient grace that it's only visible if you know what you're fucking doing.

[becca-e-barnes]

hi becca I just bought my first dildo and am waiting for delivery. Any thoughts on mutual masturbation with end game Steve?

No because I honestly think the idea of mutual masturbation is so hot, that could be so much fun!!

And I've always thought it would be really hot to add the condition that you can't touch each other. You can touch yourself and watch the other person but you're not allowed to touch them or give any suggestions.

There's just something about the thought of Steve losing himself in the pleasure, stroking his own cock to the sight of you playing with your toy. He's groaning pathetically, his fist tight around his shaft, letting the precum coat his fingers as he edges himself.

You're not at all shy about your pleasure either. You slide your toy into your needy hole, enjoying the feeling of it inside you, knowing he's watching you. Your desperation only fuels his.

"You're so wet." Steve's observation makes you groan because you don't need to see how wet you are. You can hear it. You can hear the slick sounds of the toy plunging into your welcoming cunt and it's almost too much for you. It feels so filthy to be so openly pleasuring yourself, knowing you have an audience but there's no reason to stop.

"I'm so close." Steve pants, throwing his head back, forcing himself to stop looking between your spread legs. You're slick and warm and so fucking delicious, even just the thought makes his mouth water. He wants a taste of you. Or better still, he wants to sink his cock into you and lose himself entirely. He wants to but he can't. He's not allowed. That's against the rules that he set when his head was a whole lot less clouded by lust.

"You're so pretty like this, Stevie. Look at you. Trying so hard not to cum all over yourself." As you're speaking, he slips just a little bit more, his fist tightening around his cock, giving long, deliberate tugs.

"You'll make such a mess and the best part is, you can't cum inside me. You're still not allowed to touch me." Damn his own rules. This isn't fun anymore. Or at least, it's not as much fun as it could be.

"You're just going to have to keep playing with yourself, aren't you? You can keep watching this toy slip into me and just wish you were balls deep inside me instead."

"Oh God." Steve whines, knowing he can't hold his orgasm back any longer. He can't stop himself if he tried, listening to the slick mess between your legs and the taunting he's receiving from you.

His orgasm is all consuming for a few seconds, thick streams of hot cum pumping into the space between your bodies. His hand doesn't stop, working every drop of release from him, ensuring he's given everything he can for now.

When the ecstasy wears off, reality catches up with him. You look so smug and he notices that he's splashed his cum all over your body. Some reached up to your chest but most is now dripping down between your legs, onto the toy that you're plunging into yourself.

"I think that counts as breaking your own rules, Stevie. You touched me. Technically. And I think there should be a forfeit."

[security-chief-odo]

To Love and be Loved in Return

Roy Kent x Reader

Description: Both you and Roy Kent are in love, but of course neither of you knows your feelings are requited. Who will be the first to spill the beans?

Chapter 1 - World’s Greatest Boss

Word Count: 1k

• • •

You have been working as a coaching assistant for AFC Richmond for the past six months. Though your job technically speaking is to assist the entire coaching staff, in reality, you were hired to manage Roy Kent.

Though he is an excellent coach, he is god awful at things like maintaining a schedule, filing any paperwork in a reasonable time frame, and generally dealing with the public. This is where you come in and make his life (and Rebecca’s) easier.

Your life on the other hand has gotten much harder as a result of this job. You have had a school girl crush on Roy since he was still playing for Chelsea. A crush you had assumed was just superficial and would fade as you got to know him as a coworker and a friend. If only life was ever that easy.

If anything, your crush has just gotten stronger because not only is Roy insanely hot, but he is kind, smart, and surprisingly funny. Perhaps more importantly though, he is sitting in front of your desk, not noticing as you stare at him.

“What do I have to get done this weekend?”

“Well, it’ll be a busy one for you. You need to go pick up your suit from the tailor tomorrow for the gala next weekend.”

He groaned, “I still don’t see why I have to go to that stupid thing.”

“It is quite literally in your job description Roy.” He rolls his eyes at that but lets you continue. “You have a game Tuesday, press conference after that. Do you have your shoes for the gala?”

“I’m not getting new shoes for that shit, I have a pair that’ll do. Do you have my talking points prepped for the press conference?” You hand over a bullet pointed page. “And if we lose?”

“You won’t, but that’s on the printer.” You turn in your chair to grab it but he's up and behind your desk already, skimming over the page.

“What would I do without you?”

“Crash and burn, probably”

He chuckled at that, “Yeah, probably. So I, uh, wanted to ask before, but are you going to the gala?”

“I’m office staff, I’m not sure I’m invited”

“Of course you’re fucking invited.”

“I’ll ask Rebecca about it.”

“No need, you can be my plus one.” You stop dead in your tracks at his words. Of course you want to go to the gala with Roy but there’s no way he means it like that and sitting by his side all night just might be the death of you.

“Oh um, I don’t know”

“Come on, y/n”

“I don’t have anything to wear. My wardrobe isn’t exactly fitting for a gala”

“Then I’ll buy you a dress.”

“You don’t need to do that. I’m sure you had some model you were going to bring anyways.”

“I’m not that guy anymore, y/n. And anyways, you deserve to go, you’re part of the team” Right, part of the team. He’s being a good boss. That’s all he was ever doing.

“I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll give Keeley my credit card and have her pick you up Saturday”

Returning to your emails, you began typing as you continued the conversation. “Anyone ever told you that you’re kind of an amazing boss?”

Right, you only see him as your boss. Nothing more. Probably never will be anything more. He just needed to accept that.“I don’t know that that’s the word the boys would use.”

“Well, maybe you should try buying all of them fancy dresses?”

“You know, that just might do the trick,” a smile threatens to cross his face, “but I don't think they’d look nearly as good.”

“Careful sir, don’t let Isaac hear you say that one.”

That one actually got a laugh out of him. “You’re right. Then I might have to bring him as my date instead–” His eyes widen as soon as the word ‘date’ leaves his mouth and he stumbles out, “not that I’m asking you as my date. I’m not. I just–”

Despite the sinking feeling in your gut, you let him off the hook. “Of course not Roy. I didn’t assume you were.”

“Right. Well. I’ll just leave you to uh, you know, I’ve got a meeting.” He rushed out, nearly slamming your door behind him. As soon as he was out of earshot, he groaned “Fuck.” Roy should have known better than to say anything. You are sweet and beautiful and fucking brilliant and he might have just ruined everything.

You are sitting in your office, having completed Roy’s schedule, you move on to Beard and Nate. There’s no way those meetings will be nearly as painful as your last one. You never thought Roy would return your feelings, but you figured you would at least have to ask before he could reject you.

Roy and you are clearly avoiding each other all day Thursday. He takes his lunch in his car. You don’t even leave your office. You wait until the end of the day to go meet with the assistant coaches about their calendars, hoping that Roy may have left early.

You aren’t quite so lucky and bump into him as you enter the locker room. Of course this knocks your papers out of your hands. You squat down to pick them up.

“Fuck,” he growls, “sorry.”

“It’s ok. I wasn’t exactly looking where I was going either.”

He extends a hand to help you up. Your hand feels nice in his and you both are holding hands for a moment longer than necessary before pulling away.

With nothing left to say, you find yourself looking into his kind eyes before you are interrupted by Nate.

“Oh y/n, I was just about to come grab you for our meeting.”

“Right.” you turn to Roy, “See you tomorrow!”

He waves as he walks away, not for a second noticing where your eyes were as you watched him leave. You follow Nate back into the office for your meetings with the assistant coaches, your thoughts however stay on the head coach.

• • •

Click here for chapter 2!

Let me know if you’re interested in joining my taglist, either for this series or my general taglist. Otherwise, just let me know what you think!

[prismuffin]

What would happen if Dick Grayson, Wally West, Tim Drake, Kon-el(Conner) Kent, and anyone you want to add (separately) playing spin the bottle and it landing on their guy crush (Reader leans towards being a Top/Dominant)?

HAHAHSHASHASJ YALL ARE KILLING ME WITH THESE GUY CRUSH ASKS!! Also I got your other message anon so 7 minutes in heaven it is! Anyways, I think that-

Dick would immediately smile when the bottle landed on you, the cheers of his friends and other random people at this party didn't matter anymore. You both waisted no time clambering into the cramped closet, the darkness surrounding the both of you as the door closed. Suddenly the reality of the situation would hit him. He's in a dark closet with his guy crush. He could scream, and he probably would've if you didn't start talking. "We don't have to, but would you mind if I...?" You trailed off before realizing he couldn't see you, so instead you grabbed his face so that he'd get the message. Heart beating, he nodded with an affirming hum. Letting you take the lead, he closed his eyes and waited for you to lean in, a slight gasp escaping his mouth as your lips hit his. It felt unreal but he was so here for it. He didn't mind being almost manhandled in the confined space either, and when your seven minutes was up he was so bummed but there were definitely signaling looks exchanged throughout the rest of the night.

Wally would be similar to Dick in the sense of feeling super excited when the bottle landed on you. He’d be more flustered about it but he’s still got a huge smile on his face as you lead him into the closet. Even though you’re his guy crush he has no clue if you like him back or not so he’s not really expecting to do much because he can’t bring himself to try in fear of rejection. So he’s super shocked when you take initiative, asking for consent before even trying anything with him. He doesn’t wanna come across as eager to kiss you but you can tell he’s excited, even without looking. Cherishes those seven minutes. He sees why the game is named seven minutes in heaven after this experience honestly. Is flustered and can’t stop smiling for the rest of the night. Also can’t look you in the eye without giggling like a mad man.

Tim would be the most nervous out of everyone. Was probably dragged to the party by his brothers and was not expecting to be in this situation. Still, he played the game anyways, mostly because you were too and part of him hoped the world would be kinda enough to pair you both up and it was! His face would explode in red as the whistles and cheers echoed from the party attendees. When you both got in the closet you could tell he was a nervous wreck. "Sorry if this is making you uncomfortable." You apologized and his heart soared, you were so respectful it's part of the reason he likes you so much. He told you that it was fine and that he was just a bit nervous. When you asked if he wanted to do anything he hesitantly said he wouldn't mind. You took the lead since you could tell he was nervous. He appreciated that you took things a bit slow with him and at the end of the seven minutes he was a bit happier that he came to the party after all.

Conner wasn't expecting to see you at this party, let alone be paired up with you for seven minutes in heaven. he tried to keep calm but the reality of the situation really only hit once the door to the closet was closed. He was silent for a while, not being sure of what to do exactly, he could act on his crush and potentially ruin this friendship or he could not act on it and keep what he's already got. Though it seems you made that decision for him. "You're not- this isn't making you uncomfortable is it?" You said and his eyes snapped to you. Unlike the others, his powers could allow him to see you clearly, your eyes didn't meet his as they searched the darkness. He told you he was just fine and actually explained his internal dilemma to you. You decided to take the lead and reach out until you found his face. Despite his nerves he let you lean in and take control of the situation. He had a small smile on his face as he sat next to you for the rest of the night. He'd get kind of mad if you got picked again.

———

Directory

[tragicclownwrites]

Why the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" was great SquidBob fodder

Hello! I'm back with an analysis post as I came across something recently and wanted to share some thoughts.

I'm likely late to the game here, but I saw an old post in which the author (a fellow SquidBobber) was upset by the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" and I just have to say... huh!?

Were we watching the same episode? 🤨

Needless to say, I was thoroughly perplexed by this reaction because I personally read into it much differently. Then again, I am a clown.

Therefore - in the spirit of friendly fandom discourse - I wanted to provide another perspective on this episode. Absolutely no shade to the OP either - people are allowed to have differing opinions, after all.

If you're with me, let's clown around below the cut!

The lie that started it all

Before we dive in any further, let's take a look at the scene that started this whole conversation.

Essentially, after Squidward's heartfelt confession to SpongeBob, while he's hanging on for dear life over a boiling volcano...

Squidward: "Please SpongeBob, I didn't mean any of that! I do appreciate your friendship. I am grateful. I'm… I'm… I'm grateful for the life I'm living! Who knows how long I'll have it? I learned that from you, remember?"

He says this after being rescued by his true love SpongeBob:

Squidward: "You know SpongeBob, in light of everything that just happened... I lied to you. I am not grateful for anything! I mean look at me. I don't even have a roof to sleep under, anymore!"

Now, this is the moment that had the OP so heated about this episode. After everything he said, after SpongeBob saved his life, he just... lied?

Weeeell, not exactly.

The truth always reveals itself

Now, for my hot take... I don't think Squidward was lying at all when he said he was grateful for SpongeBob.

Before you immediately decide that I've completely out-clowned myself this time, just hear me out!

There are a few reasons Squidward may have reacted the way he did in the aftermath of the volcano debacle.

He's Squidward

Our man's just lost his whole fucking house for the billionth time

The reality of what he just said is slowly catching up with him

He's Squidward

Unlike his more chipper counterpart, the guy doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve and has been shown to struggle with vulnerability and admitting failure. I mean, he can barely manage to apologize for his less savory actions without choking and sputtering like a fool!

However, when his life was on the line in this scene, he was vulnerable in more ways than one. Physically, he was quite literally dangling over an active volcano - you can't get more vulnerable than that! Emotionally, he bore his soul to SpongeBob because he thought he was going to die and wouldn't have another chance to say any of that again. Keep in mind, he truly believed he wouldn't live to see SpongeBob ever again.

I've mentioned this in my Reigisa x SquidBob masterpost, but there have been several other instances where - particularly, in a dire situation - Squidward will openly admit that he has always liked/cared for SpongeBob. And similarly, he's also tried to take it back or act like he didn't mean it when everything turns out okay or if other people aside from SpongeBob hear his confession.

So, as much as he "hates" SpongeBob and can't stand him, when it really counts, the truth always reveals itself.

Is it possible that he was just trying to play at SpongeBob's heartstrings to save his own ass? Perhaps.

But then, he accepts his fate. He loses his grip, giving everyone a tearful farewell. That is, until his little yellow angel comes to his rescue.

SpongeBob: "Squidward, I always knew you felt that way. Aw, buddy. Thanks for finally opening up to us."

⬆️Just look at the pure love in his eyes! (*Patrick voice*: LOOK AT IT!) The sappy sponge was even prepared to sacrifice himself for him. 🥺

While there was absolutely no way SpongeBob would actually let Squidward perish - promises be damned - it wasn't until Squidward poured his heart out, putting his true feelings towards SpongeBob out in the open, that he was saved from certain death.

You know how they say, "the truth will set you free"? No kidding!

As for why SpongeBob was completely fine with Squidward's lie after the fact (another point of contention for OP), well... he loves him. Period. And I think, despite his emotional constipation and frequent annoyance with the sponge in question, it's pretty clear Squidward loves him, too.

Therefore, SpongeBob wasn't upset by Squidward's outburst here because, as naïve as he may be, I don't think that fact is lost on him either.

In conclusion...

I think it's safe to say that "Sponge-Cano!" was a pretty great episode to add to the ever-growing SquidBob pile.

And if you thought the scene I talked about above was the last of it, ohohoho~ 🤭😏

You. Just. Wait.

At the very end of the episode, after Squidward loses his home and complains that he no longer has "a roof to sleep under anymore," SpongeBob does what SpongeBob does best: he offers to help him out.

Even after Squidward's selfish actions in "Can You Spare a Dime?" (which had some great fodder as well, such as *ahem* Squidward making SpongeBob wear a sexy maid outfit), SpongeBob still lets him stay at his house for an indefinite amount of time. Continuity? I don't know her.

To which, this gets even better.

Squidward doesn't refuse and find somewhere else to crash. After all, wasn't SpongeBob the reason he was miserable enough to be sacrificed in the first place? Why would he subject himself to even more SpongeBob, if that were the case?

At SpongeBob's house, he doesn't sleep on the couch or in a spare room. He doesn't even take SpongeBob's bed for himself while SpongeBob sleeps elsewhere - just like he did in "Can You Spare a Dime?"

NO.

The two of them share SpongeBob's bed. As in, they sleep in the same bed together.

Are these two fucking serious!?

They totally cuddled. Maybe even kissed.

All that to say, as much as Squidward whines and gripes about how much SpongeBob makes him miserable, it's clear to see that - even in the face of life-threatening adversity - SpongeBob's presence in his life is the key to his happiness. In this case, the key to his survival as well.

Now, if only our favorite grumpy octopus would take that spongey key, embracing him fully, to unlock that door... 🌈