#in spite of this whole wretched night

[trashlie]

ILY FP 215 and 216 spoiler ///

wah i missed your ily commentary so much, tysm for taking the time to share your thoughts ❤️

i agree with you on so many things - similarly to you, i've been going back and forth on whether nol has been developing romantic feelings or not. he's so deep in the dark that for now i believe shinae is the light he can't help but be drawn to. and that may or may not imply something romantic, so for now his feelings are a schroedinger's cat type of situation. what's probably going to be a theme from now on is how shinae is able to calm nol down, be "a silence he likes". we've seen this during the confrontation with kousuke, when nol's anger was starting to boil up, she touches his shoulder and he snaps out of it. similarly, when he wakes up in the hospital and starts panicking, he immediately calms down when he sees her. also, her birthday is written on the morphine drip, so the symbolism is pretty straightforward - she relieves his pain. now i hope this isn't going to transform into a "she will fix him" kind of thing, but it looks like he will lean on her more.

i'm not sure if i agree with you that nol would've died that night if kousuke hadn't followed him. the way i interpret it, the fall on the glass table isn't the main cause of the life-threatening injury - it's kousuke's repeated physical assault. the punch/fall likely gave nol a head injury/bruises and the glass got into his coat then, but he still seemed mostly okay. sure, maybe it's the adrenaline that kept him going, but like, he registered pain (he flinched when he stepped on the broken glass), but he wasn't reacting (yet) to his neck at all. there was no blood anywhere (not even in the snow where he walked). it's only after kousuke attacks him again that he starts touching the back of his neck, and a red hue appears on his coat. when kousuke slams him into the ground, there's also a panel where he flinches and the colours are inverted, which imo is meant to signify intense pain. and i feel like this is the moment the glass shard cut deep into him and cause the damage.

would've nol collapsed and died eventually any way? honestly i'm not sure. maybe. at the very least, kousuke's attacks definitely worsened the injuries. but at the same time, like you said, it took nol almost dying to finally receive a moment of peace. it's twisted, but in some sense... if not for kousuke almost killing him, nol really might've just disappeared into the night and then went to jail the next day.

and isn't it so representative of kousuke and nol's entire dynamic, too? the fight could've been a goodbye between the brothers. nol has finally managed to break kousuke out of his shell, and in turn, is now giving kousuke's what he's always wanted (disappearing). they could have left it at that, nol wanted to leave it at that. but of course, kousuke STILL thinks nol's scheming something, chases after him again to get him under his control, and by doing so, causes him more pain and misery like he always does. obviously kousuke doesn't want to actually kill his brother... and given kousuke's mental state, it's not all black and white... but there's definitely blood on kousuke's hands now.

btw multiple people have pointed out a really interesting detail in kousuke's flashback of nessa and nol (same chapter): nessa tells nol there's a spider on the back of his neck (actually it's just the tag of his shirt sticking out), and that he needs to stay still, or the spider will bite him. she puts a lot of emphasis on the neck being very sensitive, which seems like such a random thing, but where does nol end up getting injured, in the present, after this flashback? the back of his neck! someone also pointed out that "spider" in this context might be a symbol, and that it might relate to yui and how it's her web of manipulation, and kousuke as her pawn, that ended up almost killing nol. in typical yui fashion, by pulling her strings without actually making her hands dirty. what do you think?

sorry this got so long. enjoy your watercolor drawings, that sounds fun ❤️

Aaaahhhh aahhhh yay welcome back!!! I have definitely missed these asks and getting to build off your ideas! I'm trying SO HARD to learn how to balance life and it's SUCH A DIFFICULT THING TO DO but!!!! I'm not going to waste any time replying to this - gotta get to it while it's still hot!!!

I love love looove how you put it - that Shinae is the light that Nol is drawn to. I think quimchee has been very good about how she's set things up to ensure that Shinae won't take on a "fix it" role, which is such a cliche! Actually, and I'll try to keep this brief lest I go off on a tangent, but I still think about the way Kousuke and Nol were set up as romantic lead tropes - "the asshole with a heart of gold", "the nice guys who finishes last" - and how ordinarily, the asshole with the heart of gold would be the character who gets the fix-it love interest and instead, it's the "nice guy" (I have started this post so many times - Nol as the "second lead" tropes and how he defies them all because he was never the totality of how he's presented but I never like where it's going lol). But yes, all that said, I think Shinae has been presented wonderfully as a catalyst, rather than a fixer. I also agree that because Nol is in such a place of darkness, it's hard to know if that light will simply be guidance or develop into anything else. I love a good gradually falling story, where somewhere along the line, those "roles" blur and what used to be platonic comfort becomes the kind of comfort you want to spend forever with - but I think there's just no room for that kind of concept with him, yet. He's spent so long denying himself any kind of joy or happiness he deems undeserved; the idea of wanting someone's presence forever is probably far from his mind, yet.

But that said, I think it sets up fantastic potential for Shinae becoming the person Nol turns to and comes to depend on, the person he goes to for bad as well as good, and I LOVE that as a set up for romance lol. Realizing this person is more than a lifeline, this person is the person who makes you feel happy to be alive. (I'm saying this loosely here because the phrasing makes it feel so much like an unhealthy dependence, but rather I mean we have good potential for Nol feeling glad he never made the choice to give up, lest he had missed out on everything that would follow, you feel me?)

Also I really like your interpretation of the injury! I admit I like the flare of dramatics and thinking of the most dire timeline lol but I think that's a good point. The way I'd been thinking it was that yeah, it was partly adrenaline, partly trying to will it away and that the bleeding hadn't yet gotten through his clothes. Once in 6th grade, a friend of mine was in band class and he stepped on his music stand accidentally and it swung over and cut him across the forehead. He laughed about it to a friend, unaware that he was BLEEDING. He told us he just didn't feel anything! It wasn't until someone else pointed it out and he had to go get stitched up! (Funny enough, this was on his birthday LMAO I had forgotten that detail until now!) But right, I think you are probably more right about this - that at any rate, Kousuke made the injuries worse.

It's taking everything I have in me to NOT go on a Kousuke and Nol tangent, and I hope I have the time and energy to write it up tomorrow, because I'd like to do it before the next episode, lest it derail me lol. A thought that's been hanging around me is that I think Kousuke doesn't actually want Nol to leave - on a very deep, subconscious level that he wasn't really aware of. He pushes him away and does what he can to prevent Nol from rising above him, but his acknowledgment that "nobody" liked him - nobody being young Nol before Kousuke beat him down - makes me wonder if he's realized that in some way he didn't want Nol to leave. I don't think it meant he wanted to like him lol so much as Nol was the yardstick against which he measured himself, and in a dark, toxic way, he needed Nol to stay around to keep him from being truly alone. Idk, there's a lot of thoughts there that I'll try to come back to but it makes what you said ever more interesting - the blood is now on Kousuke's hands.

Is there any way to ever recover from this? How can he and Nol ever resolve their issues? How can they ever find peace, with the way things stand? I had always hoped that, eventually, they would make peace, reconcile, find a way to be at peace, but with these events, it's hard to imagine how that would happen. (I mean, there's so much story to yet unfold lol so I'm not saying there's no hope! Just stating that the story has set itself up in a way that keeps me keen to see how it all pans out!)

Good point, also, about Nessa! I had been more focused on the cold juxtaposition between Nessa and Nol's warmth vs Yui and Kousuke to pay attention to the emphasis on the neck! That's a good way to look at it, too - everything is a web of Yui's making, right down to Kousuke. He, too, is as much a victim as Nol and Shinae. Without knowing yet what really happened with Nessa, there feels like a sense of Nessa protecting Nol - until she could no longer. (I think we've seen this played out with Nana, too; under her care, Nol was safe. Again, used loosely because danger still befalls him, but Nana has stood toe to toe with Yui before.) I wonder how much more of that past we'll get to see - surely we'll, at some point, be privvy to Yui and Nessa interactions? Or speaking of each other or... something? But that's a whole OTHER tangent.

ANYWAY wow I really lost myself replying to this lol I'm sorry if it feels all over the place - I am jumping all over the place!

Thank you for also bringing up Shinae's birthdate! I hadn't noticed that, but god I really love that. Shinae gives him peace, Shinae brings him comfort, Shinae can drown out the storms. UGH. I'M SUCH A SUCKER FOR THAT! Like, again, this is all just speculation at this point and possibly even conjecture lmao but I just love the way they are set up! Even if it's not set up for romance. I love Shinae becoming the beacon of light to the person who became light to her. THE WAY SHE ADMITTED THAT SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO EMULATE HIM!!!! DOING THE THINGS HE DID FOR HER! ALL SHE DID WAS TRIED TO BE LIKE HIM!!!!! SHE JUST WANTED TO BE THE FRIEND HE WAS TO HER and now SHE is that bright ray of sunshine to his gloomy cloud! She's the one making him open his eyes! I JUST! LOVE! THAT SO MUUUUUUCH.

It makes me wonder even more where we're headed. Nol clearly isn't immediately going off to jail yet - he's got a LOT of recovering to do, but what happens when that time comes? There's no way he can continue to try to evade them right? Surely by now he's accepted that at the very least, Shinae will do whatever she wants? Do we get to see him admit it to himself - that he doesn't want to leave? I was looking at 151 again because I'm a masochist and the whole "do you want to disappear? I don't want you to disappear" especiallyyyyyyyy juxtaposed against Kousuke spending his whole life trying to make him disappear.

I love them ;~;

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Y'ALL I had the most wretched train of thought

(spoilers for totk; also I haven’t fought Ganondorf yet so no spoilers in the notes pls!)

The Zonai existed during Skyward Sword, even predating the game. The people of Skyloft and the Zonai have had a few run-ins, some peaceful and others not. At one point, prior to improving their technology, the Zonai tried to steal loftwings to better travel to different sky islands. Least to say, Skyloftians did not like that. They have an uneasy peace and keep their distance far from each other by the time of Skyward Sword, but Link and Zelda are familiar with their existence.

When the cloud barrier disappears, it allows the Zonai to go back to the Surface as much as it does the Skyloftians. It takes them a few years to manage it and establish a settlement, and they eventually run back into the Skyloftians on the Surface. Link and Zelda are married with kids by now, and Zelda is the leader of the Hylian settlement. The Zonai discover that Link is responsible for the cloud barrier's disappearance (Zelda is proud of Link for defeating Demise so she'll let him take all the credit; also, she doesn't need nor want to tell a ton of people she's a goddess reincarnate, especially to a tribe her people have historically not had the best relationship with).

In thanks, the Zonai give Link a gift: a Secret Stone.

The Zonai tell Link that this special magical stone is one of several that are gifts from the goddesses. The Zonai do not know all their properties, only that they enhance whatever abilities the user has. Link figures this will enhance his fighting prowess, and though he is appreciative of the gift, he doesn't think it'll make much of a difference to him.

And then the nightmares come.

Link starts getting nightmares of varying scenarios. A knight fighting a giant monster, facing down an army of mechanical beasts. A child struck down by a demon king. A man with a fairy fighting a demonic beast. Link sees his children, he sees what Hyrule grows to, he sees Demise come again and again, and he sees the Heroes who have to fight him.

Demise's dying words weren't a hateful monologue spat out in spite. They were a promise, a curse.

With this knowledge, Link goes to Zelda, and the two try everything they can to figure out how to stop this. The visions drive Link to near insanity, preventing him from gettin more than one to two hours of sleep for weeks. Zelda goes to the Zonai to ask more about the Secret Stones (she wants to give it back, honestly, but is afraid that it would be viewed as a rejection of the gift, and given the history of conflict between their tribes, she doesn't want to go that route). The Zonai know very little of the stones, though, and Zelda doesn't get much. Link, on the other hand, learns about them from the dragon servants of Hylia. He is told that the stone, when combined with its user, can make the wielder immortal.

Link doesn't care about immortality. But he does care about stopping the demon king, in every era, in every place, in every time. He does care about protecting his descendants, his people, the whole world.

The dragons warn him that he will never be the same, that he may never actually be able to interact with his family again.

After months of haunting visions of destruction and death and pain, he finds himself willing to make that sacrifice. If it means he can protect Zelda and his children, he'll do it.

So one night, he flies on his loftwing to an island in the sky. He hugs his loftwing and kisses him goodbye. He begs his companion to look after his family. Zelda's loftwing arrives, alone. The two birds fly in circles around Link, stirring up a wind as he stares at the Secret Stone held delicately between his index finger and thumb, held just above eye level before he squeezes it in his palm.

And he swallows it.

On the Surface, Zelda drops the glass she's holding. In the sky, a dragon screams.

The Zonai learn what happens when one consumes a Secret Stone.

And the Spirit Dragon is born.

[theladyofbloodshed]

I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.

This line is so dirty from Elain/sjm. It comes as a result of Nesta reminding her what happened when she scried for the NC and Elain was taken by the Cauldron, and warning her off being forced into anything involving the Cauldron on their behalf. Of course, Nesta is traumatised by it. She is (partially) the reason Elain was taken. She's terrified it will happen again to Elain and this time Feyre won't be able to save her.

If we backtrack to ACOWAR:

Nesta had stolen something vital from the Cauldron. And in those moments Nesta had hunted it down for us … The Cauldron had learned what was vital to her. - Because Nesta did the NC's dirty work, the Cauldron stole Elain to spite her. It wasn't just chance that it took Elain. It was deliberately to hurt Nesta - so yeah I think it's a shared traumatic experience.

Nesta sat with her head in her hands inside my tent. She did not speak, did not move. Coiled in on herself, clinging to stay whole—that’s how she looked. Her eyes were red-rimmed, lips thin. - Nesta once Elain was captured. She is devastated.

Nesta rounded a tent, skidding to a halt in the mud. She let out a sob at the sight of Elain, still in Azriel’s arms. I’d never heard a sound like that from her. Not once. I swallowed my shout of pain as Nesta’s arms went around my neck and she embraced me so hard it snatched my breath away. Her body shook—shook as she sobbed and said over and over and over, “Thank you.” - Once Elain and Feyre are safely back, we can see how thankful and overcome with emotion Nesta is because she loves her sisters.

Nesta cut me a furious stare before guiding our sister down the hall—to the sunny garden in the back. [...] But I caught Nesta’s eye, noting the glimmer of pain on my eldest sister’s face before it was hidden beneath that cool mask. Nesta’s eyes also went to the windows before Elain. To check, as I did, for whether they could be easily opened. [...] "I managed to get her to drink some broth last night. She refused anything else. I check on her every few hours.” - She cares for Elain for weeks after they're turned, ensuring she eats, rests, drinks - and doesn't harm herself.

If we go back to ACOMAF, the only reason Nesta does not go to Velaris to be safe is because she lets Elain choose. Elain chooses to stay near Graysen. At no point does Nesta ever throw it in her face that they were taken because Elain wanted to stay. Elain is never ever blamed by Nesta.

Elain thumbed the iron ring on her finger. “It is your choice,” Nesta said with unusual gentleness. For her, Nesta would go to Prythian. Elain swallowed, a doe caught in a snare. “I—I can’t. I …”

And if we track even further back to ACOTAR, when Feyre has gone, Nesta is bereft with worry. Elain is concerned not for Nesta's wellbeing, but concerned that her older sister is freaking out her friends and ruining her social circle

She looked over her shoulder to where my eldest sister stood by a gnarled mulberry tree, looking out over the flat expanse of our lands. She’d barely spoken to me the night before, and not at all during breakfast. I’d been surprised when she joined us outside, even if she’d stayed by the tree this whole time. “Nesta didn’t finish the season. She wouldn’t tell me why. She began refusing every invitation. She hardly talks to anyone, and I feel wretched when my friends pay a visit, because she makes them so uncomfortable when she stares at them in that way of hers …” Elain sighed. “Maybe you could talk to her.”

The line about Nesta making Elain's trauma all about her is so disappointing because when Nesta is upset, Elain worries more about her friends. When Elain chooses dick over safety, Nesta doesn't blame her but stays at her side rather than leaving to her own safety. When Elain is traumatised, Nesta puts her own trauma on hold to care for her sister. When Elain is taken because the NC made Nesta scry, she is in pieces. Yet when Nesta actually needed her, Elain wasn't around.

And honestly, how is Nesta reminding Elain that the scrying resulted in her capture even making Elain's trauma about her? Feyre is pregnant. Her mate shielded her from everybody. There is not a chance Feyre would be going to save Elain from anything.

[cybercl0ne]

Shoreside //female reader x Shigaraki // 18+ // (Loan shark Au) PART 2

Summary: You start getting money and Shigaraki's attention

Tw: Oral (Male receiving), Praise if you squint, hint of trauma/backstory

Fun Fact: I really like Shigaraki (If you couldn't tell)

The Sunrays hit your face, violently stuttering your doze. You perked up almost instantly, your mind attacking you with the horrid memories of the night before. Your eyes closed for a second trying to forget you’d run into a man like him, and instead of getting Ume back in eye sight. 

Your eyes wandered around the room, searching for any signs of tampering while you dozed off for awhile, but after coming to the safe conclusion that nobody had disturbed the demented peace you grabbed your clothes from yesterday and cautiously stepped outside the door, ignoring the strain and soreness of your legs, beckoning you to sit back down. As you peered around the hallway, you saw a man with a distorted purple hue for a face, tending to the bar, talking with “Shigaraki,” the man that had taken your dignity and virginity. A present scowl formed on your face, wondering if you should sneak attack him from behind and make him talk. You shook the idea, scraping it. “No..not with how many people are around him at all times.” You snapped out of your head when the man appeared in front of you with the familiar wretched smile he’d had on since he’d seen you. “Good morning sunshine.” He smooched. You scoffed, getting in his face.

 “Ume.” You demanded. He threw his hands in the air, sly. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He said, dull. 

“Kurogiri.” The man called, his playful tone distinguished. 

“Yes boss?” The blob replied. 

“We’re heading out for awhile but tell the league we got company.” He said, looking down at you while leading you to the car. 

“Company?” You whispered to yourself, shivering from the eerie feeling that shook you. 

“Yep, you work for me now, so company.” He cheered. 

You grunted, walking a bit faster than him to the car that you’d seen more times than once. “Like I’ll be staying that long.” You once again stated under your breath. This time the man didn’t seem to hear you and instead hopped in the car right after seating you. 

“To Toga.” He instructed. Without so much as a word the men drove, passing by the unfamiliar surroundings you’d seen yesterday. You thought about Ume the whole way there, wondering if you were too late. What if they’d hurt him already, what if he wasn’t really at the place they said he was and Shigaraki was just leading you into another trap. 

You shivered, and quietly soothed yourself. You decided to distance yourself further from the man that took it upon himself to sit right next to you, glancing over at you a few times to see your reactions you tried to keep hidden.

 Once in a while he’d find himself getting giddy at seeing how you trembled and held so much fear for the little runt. He thought if you reacted this way when being apart for this little amount of time, then he could do a lot more if you tried a stunt like yesterday. 

“You guys don’t spend much time apart I’m guessing.” His raspy voice breaking through the silence. He sat smug waiting.

Your eyes never glanced farther from the window, deciding not to indulge him with an answer. You didn’t know how much about you he knew and you weren’t exactly going to give him another reason to hold you and Ume hostage. 

His eyes met yours through the reflective glass, his ruby eyes meeting yours, pouring whatever emotion he had into yours, adding to its glint. 

“No.” You said, bleek. 

“He’s a growing boy, don’t you think he needs his space?” He said, shaking his head. 

“Tch, don’t you get tired of blabbering about stuff you know nothing about?” 

“Sometimes I wonder if you really value your life.” You carved. Your words being as calmly spiteful as possible. But with the way you saw normal people wander the streets, kids happy and cheerful you’d already had enough. 

He pretended to think about the question and returned to his sickening smile. 

“I take it you're not much of a morning person. So grouchy.” He said, pouting. You rolled your eyes at how childish this big man baby was. 

The car rolled to a halt and as it stopped you saw the woman from yesterday holding Ume’s small hand. His expression was lost and his eyes wet with tears. 

You didn’t hesitate as you jumped from out of the car, ignoring the people around you as your two faces met. 

“Y/n!” He screeched, letting go of the girls hand. 

“Ume!” You matched, scooping him in your arms in no time. You squeezed him tightly as his innocent face looped with happiness. 

“Y/n, Y/n Noona is so nice! We played all night and said we can stay with them!” 

“She even read me a story!” 

“R-really? Wow…” you spoke, unable to match his enthusiasm after what you’d experienced with this group. You held him tighter as you noticed Shigaraki coming up to you both.

He squatted down, flashing a big smile at Ume. 

“What about me? I’m nice too! Nicer than Noona don’t you think y/n?” He said, giving a sinister grin. Ume quickly ignored him, burying his head into your chest, clutching on tighter to you. You gently picked him up, finally exhaling a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. 

“Sis, are we gonna stay with your friends?” 

You looked down at him with nothing but love. You wanted to gulp down the scream that threatened to come out. “Just for a little while.” You reassured both Ume and Shigaraki. 

“And we’ll stay together right?” Ume questioned. You sighed, petting his small head and kissing him lightly on the cheek. 

“Forever Ume. Promise.” You added finally before Shigaraki interrupted. 

“If you two are done we should get going, it’s going to be a long day.” He sneered.

You headed to the car, no longer putting up a fight knowing that all you needed was in your arms, curled up. You tightly buckled him in, placing a comfortable wedge between him and Shigaraki to demote him from speaking to him. 

“So little man, you must look up to y/n a lot.” 

“Yeah, she’s a lot nicer than you.” Ume said, stinging Shigaraki. Ume looked at the man, up and down. 

“And she dresses nicer.” Ume added with no filter. You found yourself drifting off into space as they both argued. 

You thought about your next moves. Now that you had Ume, what was next. Run? Stay? Just pay off the debt? You didn’t even know how much money your father had taken. You sighed out loud, your mind scrambled from the choices you’d have to make suddenly. 

Ume took notice, looking up at you and tugging on your crumpled shirt. 

“Are you ok Y/n?” He softly asked. 

You patted his head, giving him your best smile. 

“Yeah, I’m ok kiddo.” You said, reverting your attention back to him as he hummed a tune he’d heard from a kids show. 

The car ride back was less awkward now that Ume had lightened it by bringing much needed innocence. You felt blessed that you weren’t going through this alone, even though Ume had no idea what was going on, you were grateful for his mere presence.

Ume hopped out of the car first, playing with sand and ant hills as Shigaraki approached you. 

“Now, I’m not gonna ask you to do business while the kids with us but sooner or later we have to talk about the money. Come see me when you're done with him.” He glanced at Ume before leading you both to the front door. You felt anxious as he opened the door to a small group of people. 

The first one you’d seen at the big house. She was the woman with the skirt and yellow cardigan. 

You recognized the purple blob. But the two beside him you’d never seen before. 

A man in a black and white suit flashed up to you with haste. 

“Hey I’m Twice!” 

“Nice to meet you.” He’d said in two different tones. You found your arm reflexing to protect Ume as he got close. 

“H-hello..” you greeted, clearly not a people person. 

Shigaraki sighed, weirdly disappointed in the group. 

“Don’t freak the fresh meat out too much twice.” 

“S-Sorry boss.” He sulked, deflated.

The man that stood in the back made no effort in saying ‘hello’ and shared a glare of 1000 suns. His blue eyes marking you up and down. Half of his skin looked torched, the skin now a hue of blue and dark purple to go along with his other half of skin. The stitches of trying to keep it together looked lousy but seemed effective for the time being. 

“Names’ Dabi.” He spoke, his deep raspy voice perished through you. 

“And you already know who I am!” The girly girl screeched with excitement. 

“T-toga?” You assumed. Her face light up with a light blush as the words slid off your tongue. 

Toga rushed to you and took your hand without warning, speeding you and Ume through the hallways to give you a tour. 

“This is the bathroom.” She presented. You noted that it wasn’t far from the bedroom you’d stayed in yesterday. 

“This is the boss's room.” 

“We’re not allowed to go in there but I bet his room is full of junk.” The girl whispered to you. You nodded, thinking the girl was a tad crazy. 

“Is there bad stuff on there?” Ume asked curiously. 

“Maybe.” She added, shrugging playfully. 

“Just don’t go in there to find out.” She concluded. 

“And lastly your room.” 

You peeked to find that your room was beside Shigaraki’s, finding a different taste in your mouth as the mere thought of his disgusted you. 

You looked inside to find to no surprise, it was the same room you’d been in yesterday. Ume ran to the bed, bouncing into it happily. 

He’d never know the horrors and pain that was thrown on the best as he spread his positivity over the negativity. You gently smiled as you and Toga stood in the room watching him be a kid. “I can’t believe we get to stay here!” He said, inviting Toga to bounce and play with him. The noise of shigaraki’s footsteps  heading toward you and the heavy pat on the shoulder sent this happy moment into a headache reality. 

“You done here?” He said, peering at Toga and the little one. 

“Guess so.” You shrugged. 

You faced Ume, who was playing. 

“I’ll be right back, be good.” You warned as he nodded. 

You walked off with Shigaraki exchanging minimal words to each other. As you stepped back into the car you’d grown closer to he proposed plans to you. 

“You have 3 choices.” He proposed with his fingers up. 

“You can work as a construction worker at a warehouse of mine where they pay the least amount and more time off.”

“You can work as a restaurant worker for one of my other businesses where they pay decent but way more hours.” 

“Or lastly, you can work as a sex worker where they pay the most and you’d only have to come in 3 times a week.” 

You pondered your options, clearly taking into account that Ume would be alone while you were at work. But you also took into account that the more pay the faster you’d pay off the debt, resulting in less time Ume would be alone. 

You instantly knew you weren’t gonna work as a sex worker, refusing to give your body away. It had been taken from you last time and you weren’t gonna give it to another random stranger. 

“Restaurant worker.” You blatantly said. 

His reaction was a tad surprised. 

“You sure? You know they pay less than a sex worker.” 

“Yeah so?” You felt the same itch of irritation hit you like the first time you’d seen him. 

“So, don’t you wanna pay the debt fast?” “I thought the sex working thing was an obvious choice.” 

You scoffed at his low minded thinking and nodded. “This is what I want to do.” 

He pondered, then started smirking again. 

“Ok, fine. But I’ll have you know it’s not a place for a delicate omega like you.” 

“I ain’t delicate.” You angrily busted a vein. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m kidding. The place is a place for thugs so keep your head down and you should be fine.” He teased, ruffling the top of your head. 

“Oh and since you're an aggressive little thing I feel the need to make a special little rule for you.” He pointed, flicking your forehead.

 You scratched at his hand, then retrieved your hand to the small migrating pain to your head.

“If you cause me trouble, I’ll be forced to close the restaurant for the day. Which means no profit for the day. And if I don’t get paid, neither do you, and it adds to your debt. So keep that in mind when you're working, ok princess?” He advised, pinching your chin. 

You gritted your teeth trying to fight the urge to rip his head from this body.

“Whatever.” 

“No, not whatever.” “I need to hear a ‘yes sir’ from you.” 

“…kill yourself…” you felt your face rushing with heat as he sat in silence waiting. 

“Yes sir…” you finally caved. 

“W-why did you even need me in the car for this, when you could’ve said this sooner!” You added, trying to change the subject. 

“Maybe I just wanted us alone and you to myself.” He teased again, poking his tongue at you, winking. 

You busted him right in his mouth, storming out of the car, leaving him rethinking and writhing in pain. 

——————————————————————————————

You put Ume in his pajamas, fitting his shirt over his swole cheeks. 

“Ready for bed?” You asked, standing up. 

He nodded, and climbed into bed, waiting for you to turn off the light and lay down beside him. 

You hesitated wondering if you should really let Ume be as comfortable as he is. 

“Ume..” you kneeled again, meeting his face. He rotated his head to the side, confused. 

“We need to make some rules. Rules only we follow for now, ok?” 

He nodded, fiddling with his dinosaur shirt. 

“Rule one, we always stay together. So when you feel hungry, or need to use the bathroom you tell me.” You paused, trying to find the best way to explain that you didn’t want him out of your sight if he didn’t need to be. 

“Second, don’t wander. Don’t touch, or take anything that’s not yours.” 

“Lastly, if anyone tries to hurt you, kick and scream and I’ll be there to protect you.” 

As you reached your conclusion Ume slowly nodded, giving his understanding of the rules. 

A yawn perked from his little throat and you finally decided to turn off the lights. As you crawled over to him you tucked him in, kissing his forehead and humming a song your mother had sang to you once until you saw him slowly fall into his sleep.

“You're not gonna sleep y/n?” His little voice asked drowsier. 

“Sis will go to sleep in a little while, just keep my spot warm.” You smiled at him. In  truth you didn’t want to sleep knowing that at any moment they could waltz into the room and try to take you or him in the night. 

You sat at the desk, the money still placed on it, holding a symbol of what you couldn’t erase. You stuffed the money in your wallet alongside the premature damp bills. 

You stared at your small desk lamp trying to see what you’d do about Ume. “Kids his age should be going to school.” But you knew you didn’t have the resources to send him to school. 

“You know you can sleep right?” A voice came from the cracked door. Your heart picked up  pace, finding the noise to belong to Shigaraki as he stood in the doorway.

“It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow anyway. No use in being tired on your first day.” You scoffed, turning off the lamp, and closed the door in front of his face. 

You laid down beside Ume, who was lightly snoring peacefully. You wrapped your arms gently around him and fell asleep. 

Your alarm from your broken phone rang with haste, waking you straight from your slight slumber.

You turned it off, still in a daze. You looked at Ume, who squiggled around in his sleep, trying to turn off the part of his brain that had awoken from the alarm. 

You gently kissed his forehead, whispering into it. “I’ll be back later goofball.” 

You snuck along the acquainted room, searching for some clothes. 

You looked out of the window, seeing how the sky was just waking up and how the city was barely awake. 

You drifted out of the house/bar, clicking through your Gps on your phone with the address that Shigaraki had sent you somewhere late in the night while you slept, your mind ignoring it. 

You made your way to the place, walking in the beat up tennis shoes your landlord had gotten you one day after he saw your soles were way past their expiration date. 

“You young people, working until you look like me.” his weary face would scrunch up, shaking his head as he helped you out of the poor shoes. You looked down at him, unable to express enough emotion to show how thankful you were to some sympathetic old guy. The old man looked up after deciding he got the right size, probably knowing from experience with his own kids. “Just..don’t overwork yourself. Take breaks, you're still young.” He advised, laughing nervously in between. 

You sighed wishing it was that easy. As you pulled up to the job you realized that the job really fit the way it looked. It was a rather shabby yet pretty place, big, and dark. You walked in trying to pump yourself up and remind yourself that you’d be able to pay back the debt and find your dad to kick his ass. 

“You must be y/n?” The boss with the biggest beer belly you’d ever seen looked at you snooty. 

“Y-yes.” You said, trying not to stare. 

“Great, get to work, you omegas work on my time, got it?!” He screeched, his belly voice cracking his windpipe that was gutted by past cigarette smoke that had been shoved down.

You scurried to work, trading your shirt and regular pants for the uniform assigned to you. 

As you dashed around serving gangsters and mob bosses left and right you finally saw the last of the bald headed men dressed in black leave in well fed groups. 

You kicked your feet back, taking a large sigh.

“You think you're done?” 

“Don’t be so quick to throw down the towel queen. You're closing for tonight.” He snuffed, annoyed, rubbing his dusted head. 

You bit your tongue, wanting to question why you had to be the one to close but fought against it, counting you’d just gotten the job and didn’t want to lose it because an old geezer got smashed in the head with a plate. 

“Yes boss.” You said, partially sarcastic. 

“That’s right, all you little omegas think you run the world humph.” He grumbled, waltzing his way back to his office to grab his oversized coat.

You childishly mimicked him as he walked away, clueless to your taunting. 

“Making friends huh?” Said a familiar voice from behind. 

You quickly stopped the childish act and turned around in a heat of embarrassment until you saw who it was. 

“Are you obsessed with me or something?” You sarcastically stated. 

“Huh, maybe.” Shigaraki nonchalantly shrugged. 

“Just checking up on how you were taking your first day.” 

“I’m fine, leave.” You gritted, already seeing a migraine coming on from his presence and overwhelming cologne. 

He ignored you, eyeing your body up and down hungrily. 

“You look so delicious with the way your uniform clings to every part of you.” He blatantly stated out loud. 

You felt your skin crawl as you moved from his grasp and shuffled towards the staff only room to change. 

“The little shit told me-“ 

“Ume.” You recorrected without looking at him as you took the leftover plates from tables. 

“….right..Uzamaki.”

“Anyway he told me to tell you that he misses you very much.” He imitates with Ume’s voice, but is a lot less cute and lovable. 

You rolled your eyes, your heart melting from Ume but crumbling realizing you wouldn’t be back until another hour if you were lucky. 

“Who’s watching him?” You panicked, realizing if he was here then no one was probably there. 

“Relax, Twice and Dabi are keeping him company. He needs it honestly.” “Let him be around boys, they’ll toughen him up and teach him well.” He joked, punching the air obnoxiously. 

“Ume’s too nice to fight.” You said, scrubbing tables. 

It was true. Ume couldn’t hurt someone even if he wanted to. At least you’d never seen him do it. 

Ume was scared of what he didn’t know, which was everything expected for a child his age in a world that threatened to swallow him whole.

“Well then I guess the little squirt will have to take lessons on that too.” He added, quite enthusiastic. You once again rolled your eyes, treating the tables with soft respect as you scrubbed the last of the table. 

A pair of lanky arms reeled around your waist, making you jump. 

“It’s just us, y’know.” He spoke, rubbing his clear hard on against you. 

“G-get off of me you creep.” You spoke, uninterested but taken aback.

“You know I feel like I’ve been so nice to you lately, don’t I deserve an reward?” 

You scoffed. 

“Stop it, I don’t have time for your games.” You said, recalling the tremendous amount of debt you're supposed to be working on clearing. 

He backed off suddenly. 

“Man, you're no fun.” He pouted. You're pretty sure if you rolled your eyes any more they’d get stuck in the back of your head, so instead you just substituted it for a bored and very unpleasant scoff. 

A ring came from your phone suddenly which took the silence of scrubbing away. 

“Hello?” You questioned, seeing you haven’t gotten a call from your phone in months. 

“Hi Big sis!” You recognized Ume’s voice through the phone. 

“Ume, how are you goofball?” You asked, slightly happier. 

“I’m ok, but I miss you a lot.”

“Are you on your way home now? I wanna play and show you what me and Uncle Dabi and T-twi… Two did.” You tried not to explode from a cuteness overload as he struggled at saying the new names he’d learned. 

Shigaraki watched you try not to squeal and bounce off the walls from the sound of the kids' voice. 

“Big sis will be home soon kiddo, let me finish this.” You finally said, hanging up in a better mood. Your attention became clear and focused, speeding the cleaning process faster. 

Shigaraki tried to initiate small talk with you with a side of flirtatious jokes. 

“Why don’t you complain to your lackeys instead of loading yourself on me?” You asked, condescending. 

“Well, because I thought a hard working omega like yourself would understand the working class.” He fired back. At this point it didn’t affect you as you’ve been called way worse by society. 

“ touché.” You shrugged. 

You spun yourself out of your guy's conversation and remembered how Ume was waiting for you back at home. 

“I gotta get back to Ume.” You stood up, not caring to finish. 

Shigaraki spun you around, hasting you back into him. You fell into his lap inside the now completely vacant and closed restaurant. 

“Hang on a minute, what about my reward?~” he said, bouncing you up and down on him. You scoffed, deciding not to indulge in his games. 

“Can I go back if I give you this ‘reward’”. You quoted. 

Shigaraki tightens his grip on you, grouping your thighs. 

“O-ouch.” You squealed as he loosened his grip. 

“Fine…” you said, heat rising to your head as you sank below his chest. 

“If you do a good enough job I’ll throw in an extra tip.” He teased. 

“Stop trying to make me into a prostitute.” You eyerolled, unshackling his belt. 

“So you want to do this willingly?” 

“Naughty, naughty y/n.” He teased again as he watched you from above. 

“N-No that’s not what I’m saying!” Your voice echoing throughout the building. 

Shigaraki pushed his fingers through your hair, making sure to grab at your kinks and dig at your roots. The sensation was short lived as his cock sprang from his boxers practically slapping you in the face. 

You wasted no time and grabbed the monstrous cock and started slowly jerking it up and down in your fist. Shigaraki groaned softly, his light moans being heard by the surrounding walls. You could hear every dirty noise that was coming from his pre coated cock. 

“Y’know, I don’t know why but I can never control myself around you.” He huffed in between moans. His teeth seathing together as you pleasured him more.

“You never shut up do you?” You inquired as you churned your head down to meet his cock. You took one finally silent deep breath and dropped your head to the base of his cock. He clamped down on your hair, receiving a delicate moan from your lips that were currently wrapped around his member. 

You struggled to really collect his cock as it expanded inside your throat, pulsating in between your lips. You circled your tongue around it, exploring the girth and crevasse of his tip, guiding your tongue along the sides of his jutting veins.

Nothing but moans came from Shigaraki now, you could see he was in too much pleasure to talk or complain. 

You decided to go a step further, taking your mouth and allowing his giant cock to greet the back of your throat. You choked and gawked at how everytime you slid back on his member your throat would welcome it while rejecting it at the same time. “Oh…Fuck…fuck yes.” He spoke, wrapping his slim, pale hand through your scalp. You felt warmth coming from your lower nethers, throbbing from being poorly neglected. You felt Shiagarki’s hard cock throb at the same time making you cock hungry and diving harder into him. 

You felt him jut his pelvis into you, getting mixed into the feeling. You didn’t mind at the moment as you slowly felt yourself leaning into the rushing thought of making him cum. 

“A-Are you ready princess?” “M-master’s gonna cum down your sweet throat.” He groaned. 

You continued vigorously bobbing up and down on him, moaning and letting your mind take over for you. You found yourself collecting saliva and precum and using it as lube for his cock. 

As you vibrated Shigaraki’s cock with your precious moans, you felt his cock twitch harder and harder. You felt it ready to explode. 

And not too long, it did. You slowly stopped, feeling the hot and sticky sensation of white fluid in your mouth building up as he cummed buckets into your throat.

Shigaraki held you in place for a while while you tried to lift your head up to get rid of the load he’d conceived. 

“Good girl…” He slowly praised, letting himself come down from the high of release and gently allowing you to remove his softening cock from your throat.

You coughed up most of the cum, tasting the staining salty creamy flavor on the inside of your mouth.

You took a long sigh, standing and fixing your look to look less like you just got throatfucked and sort of kind of enjoyed it. 

After a little while of leaning into Shigaraki’s pointless conversations you finished the restaurant satisfied. “Are you some OCD person?” 

You scoffed at the stupid and completely random assumption. “First off i’m not, second what made you say that?” You replied.

He simply shrugged. “I don’t know, you just seem like the type to make sure your satisfied before the job is done.” He stares you in your face, watching how you tried to figure him out but all you saw was your reflection and a man. 

You shrugged, slightly agreeing with him, remembering how your mother used to be addicted to the cleanliness of anywhere she went.

You changed back into your civilian clothes where you found Shiagaraki leaning against a beam, swiping away on his black, clean phone, his coat hanging onto his arm while the other hiked up and down his screen. 

“Ready to go princess?” He teased. You buffered before ignoring his antics and walking away.

“H-hey where’ you going?!” He yelled from the streetlight.You grumbled away like a kid being denied candy. 

“Away from your annoying ass.” You screeched, stopping to look at him from a distance.

 “I brought my car!” “Let’s ride home together!” He screamed, already making his way toward you. You felt DeJa Vu as he ran toward you like a kid. You shook off the weird feeling, not daring to remember when there was a good time in your life. Instead you partook in arguing with the grown man baby that was face to face with you now. 

At the end you ended up in the car with the promise you’d be able to stay home with pay. 

“Has it always just been your dad?” Shigaraki asked inside the non moving car. 

You poked your head at the weird and yet again random question. 

“No…” You said, cautious of letting him in on too much.

“Then where’s your mom?” He asked again, curious. 

You froze at the question. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d even let yourself think about it since she left. You had always lived with the ideology that ‘If the thought doesn’t make me money it shouldn’t matter.’ 

You decided to end it with a cold shrug, your face twisted, recalling bits and pieces of the terrible memory. 

Your thoughts evaporated when Shiagraki’s finger found its way to your face.

“You’re thinking too hard.” He bored.  

You sighed, feeding him a small smirk before crossing your arms and staring at the window as the streetlights started to move.

[prettyboy-like-you]

HOUNDS OF LOVE

2276 words, EXPLICIT, POV billy, period-typical homophobia/slurs, past promiscuity, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, car sex, billy hargrove cries during sex, steve harrington is a sweetheart, boys in love.

written as a gift for lyd my beloved <3 @stevewhoreington

.

Running never made a lick of difference. It was still there, looming. Biding its time. Always lurking like a trench coat-creeper just around the next corner, no matter how far he ran. Breathing heavy, waiting. Because unlike Billy, it could be patient. So very patient. It was his personal stalker, The Longing. The murderous type. Some sorta desire cannibal—and Billy was its prey. No matter what, it always came looking. Would seek Billy out, no matter where he hid or however many times he would run from it, it followed. Hunted Billy down for sport, it seemed

Billy Boy Blue, dirty little fag, sweet-still-not-sixteen and always wanting what you shouldn't.

So, Billy The Wretch, he played his part in the stomach-turning game and he ran. Sprinted so fast he could've won a damn medal. Oh, because Billy, he wanted what The Longing had on offer. Wanted it more than 'most anything. Billy wanted so much it hurt his insides. Like chewing and trying to digest crystalline glass. Like if he could just breathe in deep enough he'd be able to smell its heady scent, if he only licked his lips X amount of times he'd taste it pricking like spice on the tip of his tongue. Didn't even know why he wanted so bad, not really. Why it was he craved that kind of touch, why he needed the way he did. Only knew it was the same sort of deal as his body needing food or water or oxygen; a biology that just was.

Girls didn't take the edge off. Nowhere close. It was wild. And it got so much, being taunted, being wanted by The Longing, too much, an angry need, and Billy just couldn't take it any longer, having only the emptiness to keep him company every minute of every hour of every day. The nothingness being the only one to ever wrap arms around him. Ghost-dead arms. He just got so fucking tired of it. So, so much more tired than any kid should be, so tired that in the end he caved, giving in to it just to fucking survive.

Billy knew a lot about survival. 

When he slowed down enough to allow that fucker to find him, is when Billy had the revelation: there'd never really been a thing as hopeful as choice, not for him. And in knowing he hadn't had a chance, never granted so much as a fair crack at a game he'd never even asked to play, Billy then swan-dived into it so drastically that the thing was forced to consume him fully, absolutely. It chugged him down and swallowed him whole—and Billy was gonna make sure it fucking choked on him. Billy Hargrove was nothing if not flush with spite. 

That's how he found himself wide open and hiding in plain sight in the not-so-loving arms of those hot, hot Cali nights; shirtless and high and strung out like filthy ripped-denim bunting strewn around the streets of downtown San Diego. Ushered into a lonely playpark after sundown. Shushed and pushed down dirty alleyways. In the shadows, that's where he’d wait for them; Men. Never other boys. Never anyone his own age. Nobody who would want anything more. No, he'd wait for men twice his age, thrice his size and almost as desperate as he was, just as his queerboy nature had waited for Billy Boy Blue to succumb to it. And those men—so many men—they always came for Billy. 

These days when he hears the siren song Billy answers without quite so much thought. Call and response. Day-O. Not that there ain't still a fight just underneath the surface of his skin. There's always that. But as much as it might surprise him, and it does, maybe it was inevitable, him clinging to this. To being wanted by other guys—no. No, being used, is what it is. Honestly. It's being used up and spat back out. No change given, no receipt.

And at once, in the here and now, it's dawning on Billy like dead flowers in the morning sun: if ever he'd taken the time to look at the thing, to really look at it, he'd have seen he knew the truth all along.

There is nothing else for him.

Now here he is in Hicksville, Indiana, not-quite eighteen and knowing his garbage existence is spiralling even further down Life-with-a-capital-L's disposal drain. So. The things Billy finds himself clinging to even tighter than the things he's not supposed to want? Pain. Rage. As if they're gonna be the knights in shining armour to save his damsel-ass in this shitty story of his that no self-respecting cunt would wanna read. From all of this. From himself.

Billy has always been a coward. Ever since—ever since Her. Since she did the double-up on him. Since she switched off and let her light go out of his life forever by taking off and leaving Billy Boy Blue's sorry ass behind. 

Harrington doesn’t know any of this though. Nobody does. Nobody will. And nobody should anyways because Billy, he shouldn't be so pathetic. He’s supposed to suck it up and shut the fuck up not moon over it, not be a little pussy while he's getting his boy-pussy railed. And he certainly shouldn't be moaning through this feral fucking need of his like some frilly pink-pantied cheerleader, hell.

Never did know what was good for you, boy.

But Steve, he’s gripping Billy’s hips like sex is going out of fashion, fingers bruising into Billy’s freckled flesh as his own hips snap forward again, stuffing Billy full of long, thick cock. His tongue, it's in Billy’s ear, licking it out, fucking it and sucking it into his warm, wet mouth.

“You like that, huh baby?” he mumbles around a mouthful of lobe, saying shit he shouldn't be saying.

You love it, whore.

Breaks the spell.  

Billy reaches behind himself and, finding what he’s feeling around for, shoves three fingers into Steve’s runaway mouth until the King is almost gagging on them.

“Shut up and fuck me, Harrington. And not the way you fucked her, neither. Fuck me like a goddamn man.” As if this is the first time they’ve screwed around, ha. The King and Wheeler have been split for half the school year now.

There you go again.

As if Steve and Billy are anything like Steve and Nancy. As if. There is no Steve and Billy. 

Then Steve's man-handling him, all tough-guy and that's—that's absolutely not what Billy was expecting.

Shoving Billy down, rough, Steve pulls out of him abruptly and before Billy can even begin to mourn the sudden emptiness of his gaping asshole he’s being flipped over, bare shoulder blades hitting the expensive blood-red leather seats of Steve’s Beamer with a loud slap. Billy loves it, actually, because of course he does—dick leaping and leaking for it—yet he also instantly regrets asking for it because now flat on his back they’re face-to-face and. Yeah, no. Billy’s not ready for that. Will never be ready for that. But roomy as the backseat is, Billy is still wedged in pretty tight between that and the front seats; having Steve’s full weight now bearing down on him means there’s no real means of escape. 

Like you really want one.

“Wanna turn back over,” Billy lies.

“No. You don’t,” Steve informs him and why the fuck does fucking Harrington have to know exactly what it is Billy wants?

Billy can’t deal with this. He struggles to move, but Steve. He knows Billy's heart isn’t in it.

Because the boy above you is holding your glass heart oh-so-gently in his pretty cupped hands like it's something precious, even as it pumps away uselessly.

Steve says, “You wanted me to fuck you like a man, you said so. So, missionary it is,” and then Steve’s pressing his lips together and sliding home again and Billy, instead of fighting like he should, he's opening his legs wide as the space he’s crammed into will allow and gasping loudly as his body goes slack, that frilly pink whore once again.

Now it’s his own mouth he’s shoving fingers into. Ramming his whole fucking fist in there. Fists are all Billy deserves. Not this. 

Fucking coward.

Steve, bolstering himself with one hand by holding the headrest of the driver's seat, takes his other hand and reaches down and then Billy’s actually fucking letting him remove that fist from where it's trying to silence his pathetic grateful moans. Gripping at Billy’s wrist, Steve now stretches their arms above the both of them as his cock stretches out Billy’s ass again, and then he’s pinning Billy’s hand to the bodyheat-wet window underneath his own. Spreads and links their fingers like he's hoping they'll draw heart shapes in the condensation, like Billy's his fucking girl or some shit.

“Fuck you,” Billy snarls, even as he’s nestling a thumb into to the gorgeous cavern below one of Steve’s hip bones.

“No, actually. I’m gonna love you, Billy. Because it’s what you want.”

Before Viper Billy can spit his self-hatred and shame at Mr and Mrs Harrington's perfect little rich-boy, Steve steadies himself as he lowers his top-half, hand leaving the headrest and snaking around the back of Billy’s neck until it’s cradling his thick skull, long fingers threading through the damp curls and fisting a handful. Pulling, just enough.

Billy shivers as his chin is forced upwards and feels his eyes pricking with salt, and ohhhh. He’s going to wail on Harrington for this. Going to fucking kill him for it.

Later. He will. Later. 

Later because right now, Steve is doing things Billy wants too, too much. Off-limit things that are off-limit for good fucking reason. Things the guy should not be doing because Billy told him no right from the start. Because they're the things Billy’s not allowed. Things dirty little sluts like Billy Hargrove should never even dream of wanting.

Liar. Coward.

Steve is running the tip of his nose along Billy’s jaw, under his chin, while fucking into Billy but going slow—so, so slow—inching into him, carefully, as if Billy’s really something to be taken care of.

Billy squirms some more. Roars. Aches so good. Squeezes his eyes shut tight and winces at that pacific seawater gathering in the corners. 

“Fuck you,” he breathes again but it’s a whisper now. A plea, this time.

Don’t let me go.

Steve hears it. He leans in even closer, filling Billy to the very hilt, trapping Billy’s dick between them both and it’s now not just leaking but practically gushing with pre-come, exquisitely swollen.

Steve’s plush lips are then feathery against Billy’s as he says, “I want you, Billy.”

Billy arches up violently, the angle nudging Steve’s cock into that sweet-spot. He calls out as the tears threaten to fall from his stupid, stupid eyes, fucking traitors.

“Hold me down.” Billy begs.

Don’t let me go.

And Steve is there.

Leaning heavy on the arm where a hand is wrapped around the back of Billy’s neck, Steve releases his grip on his other hand, the one linked with Billy's. Then he lays that arm parallel to the other with his weight on both forearms and, using his elbows for leverage, his hands are now free to frame Billy’s face and they do, thumbs finding cheekbones and stroking softly. So soft Billy wants to scream.

Rocking in and out of Billy, still so slow, he says, “I’m going to kiss you.”

Love me, love me, love me.

And then Billy is being kissed by a boy and he isn't hiding from it. He's being kissed by Steve Harrington and he's kissing Steve Harrington back so needy and with such urgency it should hurt but it doesn't and he's not a coward or a liar anymore because Billy wants this boy who’s kissing him, and this boy wants Billy back.

“Hey, open your eyes, Billy,” and he’s kissing the words right into Billy’s mouth.

Billy dares himself. “Steve.” He utters it, a tiny one-word prayer as he sees, that briney water now escaping his eyes and streaming down his temples and Steve must know it’s the first time—probably the first time a boy’s kissed Billy, definitely the first time Billy’s called Steve Steve outloud, and honestly the first time Billy has let go.

Shit, and Steve’s fucking Billy like… like…

“I love you, Billy.”

…like that.

They're staring at each other and Billy’s gonna come. He’s gonna come and he knows that Steve can feel it and so Steve’s then telling Billy he’s gonna come too and yeah. Billy knows that because Billy, he can feel everything.

And Steve, he gets it. What Billy wants. Knows what Billy needs.

So he tells Billy he loves him again. Tells him again and again till Billy is crying and spilling all those old tears, new tears, and his milky come all over the both of them while Steve smiles and groans and comes too, filling Billy up to the brim and right fucking over it with that sweet, sweet love of his.

 

A little later, when all they can hear are the cricket calls reverberating off the quarry walls and each other's slowing breaths and heartbeats, Steve says, “I know what’s good for you, Bills. Even if you wanna pretend to the both of us that you don’t," and, "It'll be okay," and, "I got you." 

Hold me down among the hounds of love.

And yeah. Billy might not be able to say it, not yet, but he knows he's done running.

.

[dreamerwithapen1]

For the Realm + Main Characters

Aelora and Aeron Targaryen are nervous. Their eldest brother, King Viserys, has declared his daughter, Rhaenrya, as his heir, disrupting the line of succession and threatening to destroy everything that the Iron Throne had been built upon. As the youngest children of Baelon and Alyssa, neither of them had any ambition for the throne for it had never even been a possibility for them. Instead, they devoted their time and attention to strengthening their family’s armies and their power over the kingdoms. But as a civil war breaks out within the great and powerful House Targaryen, it threatens to shatter everything that their ancestors fought so hard for- and Aelora and Aeron will do everything in their power to stop that from happening, even if it means going against their own blood.

Edric Stark is desperate. As Heir of Winterfell, it is his duty to protect the North and its people, and he has been preparing for it his whole life, believing himself to be ready for whatever may come. But when duty takes him Beyond the Wall on a joint mission with the Night’s Watch, he discovers exactly what it is that the Wall has been guarding them from for all of these years- and he knows that he and his people cannot face it alone. So with the survival of his people at risk, Edric goes to seek the help of those who could be the realm’s salvation or its destruction- the unstable royal family and the rulers of dragons- the Targaryens.

Edith Hightower is tired. At only twenty and two, she has been married and widowed three times with no children to speak of, having lost all of them before their lives could even begin. Residing now in King’s Landing, she drifts aimlessly among her peers, the disgraced and forgotten eldest daughter of the Hand of the King. It isn’t until her childhood friend, the Rogue Prince, Daemon Targaryen, returns to the capitol that a spark is lit once more within her. What begins as a way to spite her wretch of a father quickly erupts into something much greater. And the Targaryens are not the only ones facing a civil war as Edith slowly and methodically lays the groundwork to tear down her own father and sister.

Forever Tag: @darknightfrombeyond @bravelittleflower @arrthurpendragon @foxesandmagic @darkwolf76 @peopleralunique @stareyedplanet  @thophil2941btw @ocappreciationtag

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[cigarettesandinevitablebetrayal]

rank your sidesteps (and maybe your wayhaven detectives if youre feeling frisky) from "most likely to enjoy pineapple on pizza" to "will start a physical altercation over pineapple on pizza"

Oh, gods, you've broken my scale of "weird little things I don't really need to know about my OCs". Ok, um. Hm.

Sidesteps:

Seongwon - Starting a fight to get pineapple pizza added to the order. Anathema talked her into trying it and she rather likes it. Gets annoyed when people make a fuss about it. It's a pizza order and she's hungry.

Remus - Sweet tooth from hell. Like, his vice is alcohol, but it manifests as those fruity cocktails that are mostly simple syrup, so sweets is a close second. Adding pineapple on pizza just means extra sugar to balance out the pizza sauce. He's stolen the whole box on pizza nights at Rangers HQ.

Rashad - Never had it. It's traditionally served with ham and Rashad tries to eat halal when they can.

Corin - Aggressively ambivalent. High key hates eating, anyway, and would live off of meal replacement shakes and filler calorie drinks if Julia wouldn't harass him for it. Adding pineapple to pizza is going to neither improve nor degrade a pizza for him because it was always going to be wretched anyway.

Mateo - Personally dislikes it, but he's not going to make a fuss about it. There's probably enough other pizza to go around. In the situation that there's only pineapple pizza (which, let's be honest, is an Anathema or Ortega prank), he's picking off each piece and flicking it at the prankster.

Cassian - Has tackled Anathema to rip the phone out of her hand when ordering pizza to keep her from ordering pineapple pizza. Mostly for the bit, but also because they hate the smell of Hawaiian pizza. Ortega tried to talk him into trying a bite and got a kick to the gut.

Detectives:

Isaac - The things he puts on pizza upsets Tina and Verda. He's actually banned from placing pizza orders for the group. Pineapple on pizza would be a mercy comparatively. But, yeah, he likes it.

Julian - Hates the texture of pineapple, but likes the flavor. He's tried to experiment with how to impart pineapple flavor to pizza without physically putting pineapple on it. It's not gone well.

Raine - Doesn't like pineapple on pizza, but also doesn't like when people are assholes about others' eating preferences. He'll order Hawaiian pizza just to spite someone being loud about hating it. He'll even eat a few slices for good measure.

Thank you for the absolutely wild ask. This was a lot of fun!

[libidomechanica]

And so say you

For Loyal Blood within. To them,     and so in spite of fruitless sleep becomes to be sealing?     Trod down the meadows where the Government it by the sublime,     be arch, or being low never seek to tell, whence our     lives, crossing tongue is banisht

man, found, would Curb my Spirit     confounds. They flee from me that close to mi, say she flies, and     all in haste, till that blood. Under whose great with those Eyes to     warre be train’d! If from Court, then, Israel’s monarch, as are taught     the sight again to fight;

thus on my fires underground where     Love is dumb. You came to have my body but a Spark too     much; I can create himself a Muse-In Sanhedrins be     taught him wiht new Plots, from duty, than flint, for best when the     sea hath refuse; tis much

duty; for in your hair: do you     hence, so form’d by Gods eternal lines to taste. From Expensive     angle myself in every blesse, though fled is even     by the Musk-Harvest of her breathes of loue to shield, his field,     so as thou grow wood, the

wretch, to over-rule us all     in love have prickles, yet ne’er seem’d as he sat, and make rejoin’d—     ’She was walking like a man, more wonder; in that we     have I, but live, an’ love my Nanie’s changing could be possest;     still to be Out-done.

What if evolution of youth     last and more friend. The guest, but because she darts beating with     thy inmost soul. From thence these enclaspëd hands his Truth Proclaim;     his Loyalty the waiter brought my plant in her hast     thou know’st not again, but

you have already dead.—Compares     to come: and, brib’d the Destinies, to cross till action, lust     is perjured, murderous and the worse for repetitioners:     whom, whereof are you so too; who had not say; the thing     it should certainty is

beauty. Oh, you are lost my mind.     And that: But thou talk? And guard the Sea where the power hast     thou to the East, far-folded mists, and this I’m sure a pow’r     again. Keep with too much preys make amends, tho’ even now     to tie the rain; I was

fix’d upon our Sex betraide, whole,     can in good faith releasing: pity, ’ she says, Tis so; ’ and     soul with fine Conceits your Sacred Life each several Sons     by such vnsuted speech did hotly overlooking form, and     Titan, tired in like

a flock as Israelites; whose     desperate the one with a Patriot Paint! And grandeur: and     do not so vigorously he made, or is for ill     desires: the Prostrate Vulgar Spright, and the Clouds and never     win the sun doth bring, such

a thing to offer to other’s     guise, sweet in sad, its salt and begins to woo him. Of which     is why you out. Drop heavily downe on me. Thus Prais’d, and     neighs, he bounds, when being fool to fancy i have died to     keepe no more, for you has

made me, cold and Philomel become     as much; loves all its reason, and has a crush on Myrna     Loy, and there was this turf, and floats their slave o’t! On,     and one seems built to bear upon an humbler promontory,     amidst life in her

heart with truffles. Each other, by     a specious love a world will commennd: they like water and     Place, was it not, or he will, to take by sap: but oh! And     kept? Then do their alter’d Hearts from them; and thinking grieves. The     owl, night’s baith kirk and rainy,

O; but I’m as blythe thatch see     blossoming Century. With womankind, a heterogeneous     mass of the woman who had power, but disturb     the fence, running children would well be, for the true Succession     ran: once more strong, that

we say and use good bits are slaves     his brows. Within thy heart throbbed to or laid down the rider     she was Lord and King of his wound, gainst the facts of life     at strife, there is thine, to which is especially upon     the page wondering the

colt that’s that reeves his crooked Counsels     brought for, and have knock’d my tongue; be wreak’d on his last limits     here? Save her? ’Er saw that we, enamoured of an     angry-chafing, down Adonis’ heart of gall, is fancy’s     spring doth yield, like those

Nicean barks of your hopes and Secure     they blot they might, as not at all. Life-poisoning     pestilence I grieve. As he was he to foolish I could their     presented joy though t is said to thee? And long winter     cave. I fear not at all.

[memurfevur-archive]

Hide and Seek Part 1 : Song and Dance

Character(s): Athena Uyilst, The Hidelord (@mageofspacemultiverse)

About: A small introduction to the setting and of the dynamic between Athens' twin sister Athena and the fearsome renowned Hidelord.

CW: slavery, light graphic depictions, alcohol mention, power imbalances in relationships

Words: 2,839

===========================================

My love is my hatred. He is the fire that keeps me warm and the embers that char my skin. He is the spite that keeps me alive. He is the hopelessness that makes me subservient. I could kill him with my eyes closed, and when I close them, I can almost feel his olive blood on my hands. I could see the wild look in his eye at my betrayal, and of the pride that would shine that of anybody who would best him it would be me. He could do the same to me, my loathed master, and bring my afterlife to ruin. 

But, we don’t; as of all his life I have been the only one to match his strength and cunning. So, we dance this familiar tango that we have done the past three sweeps: this estranged deal where I remain his property, and he my savior, for without each other this roof would fall. My sight is too beloved, and his power too ironclad. Together we’ve had a codependency that favored power imbalance, though by now I should figure that is the norm in this wretched land.

The Safari is where the Alternian Government dumps their unwanted when their prisons get too full, where the innocents are made to exiles. A free-for-all piece of land that had developed its own culture and ruthlessness, and where drones were unable to navigate to. These people live and die by a code most distasteful, but alas it has kept people like me alive, so who am I to complain? The code tames the vicious warlords, who all rule over strips of territory known as chalets. They make this world inhospitable for the free and hopeful; slaves are common assets of glory and wealth, and the currency exchanged is nothing more than the teeth plucked out of them.

Free the Safari from the blood-stained grasslands, forewarning heads mounted on pikes, and the constant smell of urine and fear, then perhaps this land could be beautiful. It has its own privacy and unique sense of beauty, when the sun makes the golden grass dance with a shimmer; when the crows and crickets sing in harmony, and the wild cattle graze by the rivers.

Despite the threat of death around every corner - more so than on the Mainland where a clown’s scrutiny could ruin your whole life - the people here had a sense of respect for the earth. Nothing goes to waste. Bones are repurposed into knives, hair becomes the stuffing in one’s pillows, and the meat becomes the next dinner’s stew. To be wasteful is to disrespect the code; someone lost their life so yours could live. Even if the warlords were uncaring to their living slaves, it was death and loss that truly brought them to Trollmanity-- though not without a side of vengeance, but that was another animal entirely.

Time hardly seemed to fly here, save the change of night to day and back, and the amber grass turning emerald again. Life was too simple and brutal for even the government's clutches, barbed and poisoned and fickle, and in no place was it truer than within the Helve Chalet.

The freaks and lepers had formed their own council and code, unsanctioned by the wall that bureaucrats had attempted to make. Wriggler-killers, mutineers, torturers and revolutionaries stayed within the grand encampment's territory, taking claim to a world where the law favored strength over caste and singularity over group-think. Of the warlords at the head of this council however, few held the notoriety and fear than the Hidelord.

With a cigar between two ringed fingers, he overlooked the violent, violet night from a window and from where I sat I could see a smirk forming on his face. How would he stay entertained today? Maybe raid on some cocky upstart? A hunt for some who wandered far beyond where they ever should've dared? Or...

Me?

Though four naked creatures crouched at his feet, backs scarred and eyes whimpering, they barely drew his attention. He put his cigar out on the horn of one, lounging back in his bony throne, ignoring the stifled scream as he puffed the smoke out the broken panes of glass.

"Time Bitch," The Hidelord beckoned, his voice thick and ragged. "Get over here."

I glared at him, debating on whether to give him what he wanted or to ignore him. In the privacy of closed doors, away from prying eyes, there was some safety in defiance, and these slaves were too terrified to tattle-tale.

"Call me by my name," I said, my tone held high and confident, "And I might humor you."

The Hidelord laughed, the many knives shaking on his belt as he crossed one leg over the other and met me eye-to-eye. "And make it easy for you? Pah, please. It's a new night and I know you like it hard to get. Try harder." He stroked his chin where the hair was thick and bushy. "Or, you can stay there for all I care. The darkness makes for shit company, little canary. But I want a drink. Any ideas you got from those Capital nancies?"

"Wine, martini, whiskey,” I listed slowly, “or you could risk it and drink something they call a dirty girl, though there's already one right in front of you. But, you’d have to catch me first." I was flirting with the devil himself who could send me directly to hell whenever he wanted. I wish I could care; what else did I have to live for? At least, if I were to die, it would be entertaining.

Besides, he wouldn’t dare to kill me. That was our game of tug-of-war.

He hummed and purred, my wooing always a familiar comfort to him. "Whiskey's fine, we can save the dirty for later. We’re about to have company." His finger twirled a lock of one of the petrified slaves, a cerulean whose lips trembled as much as her thighs, but his eyes were all mine.

Though in title I was the same as the others, carted in from the outskirts of the chalet, my unabashed savagery had quickly gotten his attention. In the three sweeps since I'd stumbled in, shattered and hopeless, he'd given me opportunities that few outside of his former matesprits had ever garnered. Unlike them though, he had little desire to sew my skin into his great coat; to him, it would be a waste of such brutal talent.

"Besides, I could catch you with an arm behind my back and three hoes penetrating me," he boasted, an arm slouching over the side as he gave the hair a yank, earning another grunt. "Hunting's only fun when the game's scared. But you aren't scared of me, are you?" He let go of the hair and unsheathed a knife, playing the tip against the pad of a calloused finger.

"I think we fear each other. It makes the sex good, at least. Gogs know you suck at foreplay.”

"Time's money, dear. We both already play with our food too much out there," he chortled. The warlord's long gnarled dreads swayed like drapes across a deep gray windowsill. "Speakin' of, actually, today's your lucky day. We got a message."

From his other pocket, Hidelord wrenched free a scroll with bits of black wax stuck to its edges and a bloody hand-print on its exterior. He unrolled it and showed it to me, the long ink lines hardly legible, but he narrated along to boot.

"Redrum's coming. Little weasel ridden commode of a holding leader thinks she has say over my Safari. Twenty teeth and a pelt as ‘tax’.” His fingers air-quoted sardonically. "They're all shitbags but they outnumber us by half. You dealt with relations, didn'tcha? How do you figure the best way to put them at ease so I can nail that bitch to a cross?" He asked calmly, though the indignant fury broiling underneath was unmistakable.

"It's easy to talk to people like you," I said as I scanned over the parchment. "Greedy rats who only care about their own power. But those with power fall easily when there's just a little bit of thinkpan to use. It's quite a good thing you lot are allergic to it." My eyes flickered to meet his gaze, and my brows briefly quirked in a show of smug confidence, though never did I smile or smirk.

“So charged with animosity, so poetically hateful, dear. Mmm..I bet you'd still look pretty without your tongue,” he quipped, casting a gaze to the slaves at his feet as warning, though I knew it was a bluff: we’d played this song and dance before, but I pulled back.

"All you need to do is promise her things she will never have. She's not as smart as you. She'll bite. And once a deal has been arranged, you will find it favorable to ambush her. She will never get what you promised, but you will."

 After a moment of thought, he nodded his approval, “The gullible act should do the trick just nicely. As for feeding, do what you like with the sheep once I have the shepherd."

The paper was thrown with little care into the corner of the room, and he sheathed his blade with decisive confidence. Hidelord's head lurched to the side. "Guard!" He snarled coolly, watching the four bodies at his feet squirm as a brute of a woman entered the room. "Take the beasts back and give them a wash. They're beginning to reek." All the trolls shook their heads and cowered, but were lurched away by the chains around their throats, quickly out into the hall, raspy voices pleading for mercy. It was quickly just the two of us alone in his study.

Hidelord stood, great boots making impressive thunks on the floor. He took a step closer to me, closing the breathing space between us and giving a telling look. "I believe you mentioned getting me a whiskey," his eyes widened expectantly, "right, Athena?"

"I never said anything of the sort.” Now that the other slaves were gone I dared to grab his chin between my thumb and forefinger, making him look at me. "You can get it your damn self."

If anyone else had even thought for a shred, a fraction, a sliver of a second, to put their hands on him the way I did, he would've cut them off and made them their dinner, and made any bystanders swear to secrecy. This was his dominion. But with me...a dangerous dancing glint was all that betrayed his emotions here. 

The Hidelord unglued my hand and squeezed for a moment, baring his teeth in a wicked grin before releasing. "Keep acting fucking bratty and I won't get you any more of that wine you like so much." 

He strode to the mini-bar - a cardboard box draped in silver lusii furs - and pulled an old bottle that smelled like moss off of it, not bothering with a glass. His throat worked as he took a long drag, wiping spittle from his mouth after the pull. "You know how hard it is to get that for you, anyway? Between it and your blood fests you'll run my kingdom drier than a Juggalo's sorry nook. Not to mention it got Hurmir droned." 

"Sounds like a ‘you’ problem. If I don't feed, I'll be going after more than just your cabinet.”

I rose off my perch and stretched, shivering as the warm air met the thin fabrics against my skin. It was a thin drape, no doubt made from some of Hidelord's finest skins. His emblem was etched into the breast of the clothing, something I was not afraid to display when I was anywhere but here. It provided extra protection. No one cared about the caste system here in the Safari, which meant everyone was open game-- but no one would mess with an asset of the Hidelord without repercussion.

And that's how I survived, playing a game of chess with my captor and everyone around him. I couldn't say I disliked it, however. Compared to my old life back on the Mainland, this place seemed like heaven.

I studied Hidelord for a brief moment. I approached him slowly, like a handler to a horse, and took his free hand to gently place it just below my cheek. I don’t often expect gentleness from him, but in these moments where I guided his hand there was bliss to be felt. Some form of reassurance. Some form of desire that wasn't animistic. It was all in my head, and I knew this too well, but every now and then it was fine to pretend. He was gross, greasy, and lacked manners. And yet, he was the one thing that felt normal to me; a constant familiarity that I both craved and despised. I refused to be his slave, but to be his pet was another story.

His thumb pad rubbed circles along my jaw. "Mmmm, I can't be mad at you, songbird. And I'm still eager to try out the blade you purchased for me." The knuckles of his other hand went under his coat and skimmed across the knife of which I had stolen from a former rival of his, admiring the ribbons of lilac that permeated its near-white surface.

Our intimate moment was cast into doubt as familiar sounds came alive from the floor beneath us. The pulse of the Helve erupted from Hidelord's friends who made the smoky place come alive with music; flute and skin-drum, shakers and droning oddities for the servants and the guests of honor to dance and get high to, pail to, and lose their minds deep into the sunny hours. It was a cerebral experience that dully infringed upon our partial embrace.

"Sounds as though our cavalry's arrived." He quipped quietly, leaning close enough to my ear that his beard dragged against my cheek. "We could stay here a pusher-beat more, still. Make some trouble before we get to business."

My arms wrapped around him, my hands sliding along the back of his coat. My lips grazed against his neck and throat, not quite a kiss, and not quite a bite. I could, at this angle, easily take a knife from his vest and shove it deep, deep, into his heart. Twist it, plunge it so deep so it's never seen again. Kill my way to freedom. But I won't, as much as the thought was tempting.

His offer was not unwelcomed either, and the threat of being caught making some trouble sounded exciting. Really, I’d take any opportunity to not look at the gruesome inhabitants of this strange and alien world. I don’t like them, the way they stare at me and lick their lips, smiling at me with crooked teeth and wild eyes. Like I was a toy to everyone here, like I could have no respect. At least Hidelord showed me something akin to it, something akin to acknowledging that I’m still a living Troll. He didn’t have to. By all rights he could look at me just the same way as they do.

Maybe that's what made him so terrifying; he didn't entirely treat me like a replaceable toy. He was a monster that knew his subjects were still people, and to me that spoke of the highest cruelty I could think of. Yet, of all the people here, I trusted Hidelord the most.

I turned my head and whispered into his ear, “I want to be on your lap when we see them. I do not want them near me." He was, undeniably, my protection after all.

  "If those little flies know better, they'll stay out of reach. If not, we'll add to the collection today." Hidelord liked to keep a chest full with his leathers and skins near the foot of his chair downstairs as a cautionary measure. Fear garnered much more power than respect here. "You'll wear your collar, though. It's uncomfortable, but the more docile you look the less trouble you'll cause." He grunted, flexing his shoulder blades. "And if Redrum comes, I speak, not you. Easy enough for you to behave?"

I nodded eagerly as he slipped a loop of leather from his pocket. I could hear him purr as he fastened it around my neck, watching me carefully as he tugged. We knew how potent the other was, and we each still played our role.

He took the initiative towards the door, the smells of blood and old pine and tar getting more potent as we approached. The guard at the other side of the door stepped aside and Hidelord lumbered down the stairs with his owlet in tow. I forced my nerves to steel, preparing myself for what I knew I’d find downstairs. 

Preparing to enter the mindset of something I’m not to survive.

[vxctorx]

@ronmanmob

It is the fifth night of the fortnight-long festivities at the manor. I am entertaining the ramblings of an oil heiress on the superior qualities of Tussah over Mulberry, when the chatter of the group nearby with my father in attendance, crowned by the name Kray, reaches my ears over the sublime melody of the string quartet. The Duchess of Sutherland appears to have turned the conversation towards my Ronnie. "Really, it is so fascinating how these young brothers are practically cleaning up the East End. I've heard that you can finally walk through the streets again."

"Now, now, I wouldn't go that far. The state of Whitechapel is no different than how it used to be during the Great Depression. The people there are still utterly wretched, and these so called 'gangs' are simply making a dime off of their misery. I say, this is what happens when the powers that be leave the nation to its own devices."

"The powers that be? Wouldn't that be you, Lord Henry?" The Duchess' lighthearted repost elicits a gracious laughter amongst the group, and I turn my gaze towards them just in time to realise with a cold heart that my father, who hitherto was in a celebratory mood over his most recent investment, is the only person who appears unamused by the whole exchange. Instead, his eyes have very much grown fixated upon me.

"Oh, young Lord Trevor? You must introduce me to your charming friend, Mr. Kray. I, for one, am very interested in what he has to say." The Duchess calls for my attention with a slight wave of her gloved hand once she notices my gaze, and I am shaken out of my daze just in time to offer a feigned smile and answer, "Of course, Duchess."

It is long past midnight when I am summoned up to my father's office. I watch as he pours a generous shot from his favoured bottle of whiskey into an ornate tumbler. The act is shocking in itself, for he has seldom granted me such a show of weakness.

"You have brought a criminal, a crook, into my house." As he commences his speech, there is something in his voice that goes beyond the usual disappointment which I have grown used to. "I shook the man's hand while the entire world was watching. I treated him as a gentleman, because for all you have done to disgrace me and your own name, Victor, I could have never guessed you would start dallying with society's worst parasites in order to spite me." The severity of his words at last hits me upon his last sentence. "Father, this is absurd! Ronnie-Mr. Kray is a better man than you think. I realise he is quite modern in his approach, but if only you gave him a chance-"

"So now you address him by his name! Just what is this man to you? Speak." The stumble is fatal, and I knew it the second Ronnie's name had slipped across my tongue. "Nothing! Only, a friend."

As the seconds pass between the deafening silence, I see what is left of the colour in Lord Trevor's face dissipate completely. "This time, you have gone too far, Victor." A deathly pause, before his final verdict is uttered. "I will not have the likes of him in my home. You are to tell him to leave immediately."

"Now? It's half past two! Where am I supposed to send him?" I can hear the frustration in my own voice, yet I can do little to quell my indignation. To turn Ronnie out of the house in such a godforsaken hour, would be the greatest insult a man such as he could endure. I could never bring myself to inflict such a wound on Ronnie. What is more, I had never intended to make an enemy out of my father for him. "There is an inn at the village." Comes Lord Trevor's dry response.

It is in that cold, harsh moment that I come to my abrupt decision to choose Ronnie over my father's approval, for I have grown certain that the latter is a luxury I will never learn to afford.

"If you wish for him to leave, tell him yourself."

[asktheplethaura]

If Only , If Only - Unicorn Wars Fanfiction

((Chapter Seven))

((Neaaaar- Faaar- it's my chocolate baaaar.))

~~

Azulin did not like the sound of that one bit. All of them heading into the forest was where almost everything started to go wrong for real the first time. Closing his eyes, he stopped- planting his hand on the wall as he tried to clear the thoughts from his mind. Dense forest- and the rotten bodies of a bunch of bears at their camp but not before... 

He stopped himself, looking into the room where everyone else was setting up for bed. Coco was smoking his last cigarette- reading a magazine that had small trinkets on the cover. Achuchones was looking at himself in the mirror, taking off his typical yellow bow before leaning back onto his pillow with a nightmask covering his eyes. 

Sonrisas kept his same typically large smile, even in his sleep. That fact was slightly beginning to creep Azulin out. He probably would have said it out-loud in his last life if he had noticed- maybe it was better that he didn't pay attention until now...

Grimaldo was also another one that Azulin never really paid any attention to. Though it was unsaid- other that Sargento- Grimaldo was the oldest bear out of their little brigade. Grimaldo was about as close to an old man as it got... he was rather quiet unless it was something about controversy. He was rough around the edges- and had scars from the past. Any way it went- Azulin had a hard time remembering what had happened to him from... the last time.

Looking out over all of the sleeping comrades was both a feeling of warmth and a feeling of dread. He knew exactly what was coming... especially if the events that were impending were not stopped.

Letting his eyes fall on the Polar Bear Twins, Azulin couldn't help but look away as his mind drifted to the morning after a night of intense psychedelic mayhem. There in the dew-kissed forest during the early-morning hours, the Twins were discovered. One of the brothers stabbing each other to death, and hanging themselves later out of intense guilt.

Azulin could recall the shock of discovering their bodies the next day. Though, at the time- his only thought was 'why not just hide the body?' He could admit now that... it was him being uncaring and disconnected. Because if they were in the same timeline, and he had done that to Gordi at that time- he probably would have acted like nothing happened.

This made his gut wretch. 

Azulin brought his paw up to his stomach, before shaking his head, and trying to eradicate the thought immediately.

He had no choice but to go to bed. He was exhausted. However, that would only make tomorrow come faster- and after that point- almost all of the group would have nothing more than a few 'tomorrows' left.

Walking to his bed, Azulin fell into a restless sleep.

He dreaded what would be starting the second he woke up tomorrow morning.

~~~

The sound of an annoyingly effective whistle woke up the whole dorm of comrades. Sending them scrambling from their beds and to their feet within seconds. All of them stood at the foot of their resting spots, pulling their paws up to their foreheads as a salute to the gray-furred general that walked in the door- followed by Sargento.

Azulin found himself scowling in the black-suited generals direction- his eyes going from tired, to piercing. The general seemed to pick up on this glare of spite and a coarse grin crossed his ugly face as his as his lips curled into a sneer. 

"We all love early mornings- do we not, Azulin?" The generals teeth were bared at the younger bear- though the resting expression on the Blue's face was between impartial and spiteful. Sort of like a clumsy mix of the two emotions. Azulin bared his teeth as well, before smiling through it and letting out a stiff chuckle. This chuckle was cold, and dry- giving a couple of the other bears a feeling of tension.

"Oh I know I do." The sarcasm was evident. "I LOVE early mornings..." he straightened his back looking the general right in the face with a firm glare. This glare being met with the Generals face going from mockery to a tinge of offended silence. 

"Do you now?" The general leaned down and got face to face with the shorter bear, his teeth curling into a sour, dismissive grit. "Just HOW much to do you love early mornings, Azulin." 

Gordi was tempted to drop his salute to try and ease Azulin back down into being calm again. But he decided not to. Azulin had not actually done anything as drastic as he usually would have. He had faith his brother was going to keep himself under control this time... maybe.

Azulin's eyes seemed to turn upwards in a means of amusement, keeping his saluting hand to his forehead, as a means not to break 'formation' as it was called. 

"I love smelling the grass in the morning. I love the chirping birds in the lighting sky. I love the smell of rain or the feeling of the sprinklers in the grass outside our barracks. What I love is the serenity we get in the morning. It seems that this morning is lacking in serenity- don't you say? gEnEralL?"

The last word was laced in dripping disgust- butchered in saying just for the point of getting under the others pelt.

The gray-furred general snarled and a small growl was actually heard from him as he drew himself away from Azulin's face. His pride growing sorer and sorer by the second.

"Indeed, Azulin. Indeed." were the only words out of his mouth, before he briskly walked away from the pod of soldiers. 

"Sargento. Brief your soldiers and be on your way. You best be teaching your subordinates some respect. We don't wand there to be a fight that happens under our noses- now do we?" The cold glare from the light eyes of the general told everyone that he wasn't fucking around with his threat.

"Yes sir." Sargento saluted again, before letting out a grunt of disapproval. 

He looked at all of the bears under his lead, and he shook his head, unsure of where he was going to start. 

"Alright men. Let's get started."

((To be continued))

[praying-aromantis]

July 15th

i'm angry at the world for making me believe that i am being robbed. because i do genuinely feel like it. everything everyone wanted, wants and always will want is the one. their love, a partner. romance

and i don't think i can have it

im being withheld from being human and its hurting me to my bones

sometimes i think this isnt really me. this is some sideeffect of some very specific situation that is totally explainable

but the thought of someone wanting me, being attracted to me, wretches my gut, wrenches it dry

its not always like this

it would be so much easier if it were

then i could fall into the alienation like into couch of my new home at 1 am

but theres always this glimpse that makes me wonder: am i broken?

a glimpse that makes me want to believe that its not a lie, everyone IS supposed to find love, and that i just lack the confidence, the right moment, and that everything will fall into place

maybe i am loveless because my love for you consumes me whole

if i love you, that makes me whole, right? right?

maybe all i need is a night out where my friends sent me onto blind dates, make out with someone and that will definitely tell me what i want. how could i know what i want if i havent tried everything yet?

sometimes i like to play into the fantasy. i think i have a spidey sense for people *doing the thing* (having slightly romantic interest in me) and something in me *wants them to talk to me* to ask me out, to tell me im pretty, to make awkward eye contact, sometimes i really, really want that to happen. but if it did, i think i'd die. im probably imagining the spidey sense. maybe because im afraid. because i know this isnt for me. but what if it were? what if

maybe i would feel okay if i did something thats boost my self-confidence

being an aroace stripper would be hella cool wouldn't it? i imagine myself in so many things. sometimes i like those imagines. i wonder what would happen if they came true

what would be more liberating than dressing suggestively out of *pure spite*

maybe that would fix me

i know that being aromantic or asexual isnt wrong for me. it just is because i am. and i know that i dont have to explain the nuances of my being to anyone. but sometimes. sometimes i wonder

[cinnamonroll999]

Scared

Fandom: Keeper of the Lost Cities

Ship: Marellinh

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Marella always did love the Opposites Attracts Trope. Two people who were supposedly the opposite of each other but not incompatible. They perfectly balance each other. They're like two halfs of a whole soul that forms something eternally beautiful. Like contrasting colors that are not similar at all but look so aesthetically pleasing. The day and night meeting, forming a breathtaking view. Birds flying in clashing directions, so perfectly coordinated. Or in her case, water extinguishing a fire. It worked but there was always steam and a scorched floor.

She watched Linh who was standing by the edge of a railing, her lips forming a frown and her slivery eyes tinged orange. She watched the sun's sparkling murky reflection in the sea as it hid itself behind the horizon. Her voice was cold and full of spite when she asked, "What do you want?"

Marella bit her lip, her gaze moving down to her shoes that she'd so carefully polished for their date. The red flats' soft material mirrored a white light around the tips, still shining.

Her mouth opened and she said the dreaded words that she would never say to anyone. Except Linh wasn't anyone. "I'm sorry."

Linh's eyes stung. "That doesn't fix anything."

"I know. But will you forgive me?"

"Marella," Linh turned, showing her welled up eyes and miserable look that broke Marella's heart to think she caused it. "You said words I hadn't heard for more than four years. They open up old scars, you know. Not only between us, but my parents and my brother and myself. I buried them long ago because I didn't want to face them. I was scared. So so scared. I cried during the first few days. Horrible, wretched sobs and wails that echoed through the forest. Tam would try to comfort me but...I would not listen. I blamed myself for the devastating truths of the world to the smallest inconvenience. Connecting the dots to lead it all to me, even if it was something as small as a gnome getting a scratch. I almost went insane. That's why I fear those thoughts so much. And you brought them back. I don't know what to do with that!" By now, tears were streaming down her face and she had her face in her hands.

Marella hugged her. Linh collapsed to the ground. Her sobs shook her beneath Marella, she buried her head in her shoulder and told her about how hopeless and numb she had felt at Exillium.

Marella said words of comfort and held her tight, stroking her hair and rocking her back and forth to calm her down.

Right then and there, she decided to never make Linh cry ever again. To not let anyone make her cry or hurt her or make her feel bad for anything, because this beautiful girl in her arms deserved every joy and wonder and more. For she was lovely, bright as the sun, warm as spring water, powerful as a tsunami, and the most incredible and amazing person in the world.

[writerartistdreamer]

@whumptober @whumptober-archive

Title: Last Few Moments

Hey everyone! Today, the story is extremely short and sweet, given the fact that I have a lot of things currently happening, lots of deadlines to be met, so I'm a bit tired, but still wish to write. Hope you enjoy my 10th addition to the Whumptober challenge. You can also read it on AO3. Enjoy!

Posting day: 10

Prompt day 10: "You said you'd never leave"

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)

Characters: Rumplestiltskin, Belle (mentioned)

Summary: While locked up in his cell, right before the curse hits, Rumplestiltskin is a shell of who he used to be. For one moment, he gets a few glimpses of Belle- his little maid, his true love- a brief flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness.

Seconds, minutes, hours dripped by as drops of water fell on the stone floor of Rumplestiltskin's cell. He had been stuck there for what felt like an eternity, yet only the gods know how many days had actually passed by. The sorcerer had lost his sanity as the days passed, being plagued by night terrors and premonitions, and the only company he had was that of the dark voices in his head, taunting him and telling him he was nothing at all. The filthy figure crouched in that dark cell below Snow and Charming's palace was a shell of the man he used to be, no more human than maniacal voices and fears strung together by spite.

The only thing that woke him from insanity if only for a glimmering moment or two was the memory of his little maid, his Belle. He had begun to forget the exact shade of her brown curls or the exact sound of her laughter, so infectious it could have let the darkness within him seep out of his every pore, yet the memories of her presence in his castle still shone through like a beacon, keeping him afloat. And yet, the mortal was now gone after having been banished by him, gone from the world, her light snuffed out for eternity, and the realms found themselves without their brightest star. He shouldn't have sent her away, shouldn't have yelled in her face, shouldn't have accused her of everything he had thrown in her face, should not have thrown her out in fear of maybe losing his power. Perhaps she could have understood, perhaps he could have taken her hand in his and made it all better, perhaps the two could have lived together before the curse hit.

So many possibilities, so many scenarios could have played out, so many "maybe's" and "perhaps", yet he didn't even have enough magic to poof their chipped cup, the last physical remaint of her memory, into his hands. "You said you'd never leave", he whispered, recalling her insistent promises that she would never try to leave the Dark Castle, going so far as to call it her home, repeating it so very often, he may have believed it, if only for a short while. The last glint of normalcy left him in its entirety, leaving behind the ghost of the man he used to be.

The reality of it all came crashing down as his eyes lost the humanity behind them, as his heart lost the love he so desperately tried to hold on to. The grimy figure found within the depths of the cell was powerless, mad, devoid of any emotion or sanity, a walking and talking being who could not find a way to express themselves. His sharpened claws traced the tally marks of the passing days, or at the very least the moments in which he was awake, in the stone walls as a cackle sometimes left his wretched soul.

When the smokes of the damned curse finally arose to engulf everyone and steal their hopes and happy endings by taking them away from the only place they knew as home, sending them to a realm devoid of happiness or love, Rumplestiltskin spread out his arms, allowing it to swallow him whole. Seeing no purpose in fighting back and finally watching his plans come to fruition, a cackle left him once again as the fumes were rapidly approaching.

In the last few moments standing, the sound of Belle's laughter and that of her beautiful voice resounded within him one last time, his brave beauty. His laughter died down and, right as the smokes hurried to engulf him and whisk him away, he found himself whispering "You said you'd never leave" as a tear fell down his cheek.

[ultraericthered]

Anime Update V2 59

Vinland Saga S2 - I’m still just watching some characters, mainly two slaves, working on farmland and having some conversations with each other, and somehow this anime is making me super invested in it every time! Helps that the conversations tend to be really tense and revealing about the characters having them. There was some action with the visitng warriors setting Olmar up to kill the slaves, and then the one guy slashing Thorfinn repeatedly (to the point of slicing part of his ear off) without Thorfinn once breaking and getting scared to die given what Hell his life has been and still is. With Einar realizing the sort of man Thorfinn is and the warring he’d been involved in, he’s actually tempted to try and strangle him in the night, but thinks better of it. The scariest part was the very last part I saw, where we suddenly see Canute standing among marked graves in the night...

Hunter x Hunter - Welp, Kite’s dead. He fought Neferpitou and got Killua to leave with a KO’d Gon, and Neferpitou murdered him. The end of the episode shows he severed Kite’s head clean off his body! How are we expected to beat these guys now? This is terrifying! However, there was one part of it that sort of cut through that tension - Gon expresses optimisim that Kite’s not dead (even though we soon see he’s wrong) and keeps upbeat and warm-hearted as usual even in spite of what happened, and Killua is just in awe of his pal Gon, internally solioquizing about how Gon’s a big ray of sunshine, or like the sun itself, and there is NO heterosexual explanation for it!

Fruits Basket - Episode covering the whole backstory of Akito’s parents and how Akito was born and shaped into the vile, wretched creature we know her as now by absolute shit parenting. Akira was basically 2001 anime Akito with his illness taking his life while still fairly young, and the dub even has him voiced by Chad Cline, creating a chilling effect whenever he fanciful words of exalting and expectations-raising onto his daughter, which was countered by his crazy wife speaking the truth but doing so in a way that makes Akito out to be a worthless existence that should regret her own birth if she were not, in fact, born for that untruth her father spoke of. And the head servant is just as awful, lying to the young Akito about her father’s soul being inside a box that she must keep shut, and then there’s Shigure who is his own brand of evil altogether. None of this excuses or justifies the behaviors Akito has exhibited and the choices she’s made to control and abuse others just to hoard their devotion to her, but God almighty, it’s hard to see how she could NOT turn out so fucked up from all this. And then even she acknowledges that the box was always empty, that her and her family’s whole “eternal banquet” life was always broken and doomed to fail, and that her life to this point has been one gigantic waste. Even Kureno, the one who’s most kind to her, failed her by enabling her and giving her the false hope of “they’ll all always come back to me”, and as his punishment he ends up on the other end of a knife. Yeah. Akito is now out for blood.

Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works - Shirou, Saber and Rin try to plan out an effective strategy for dealing with Caster before she can initiate her mass murder plot. Rin and Shirou talk about what drives them in being mages. Saber notices that the left side of her master’s body has become numb and that he may be suffering the side effects of projection magic, and Archer drops by to help Shirou with that and also disparge his heroism ideals once more. Dick.

Re:ZERO - Soooo it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Roswaal is totally an evil bastard. He was sketchy to start with and at this point he’s just going to start making it more and more obvious that he’s the bad guy. Felt bad for Emilia continuing to have to endure traumatic memories (that we weren’t shown yet) in order to complete that trial, felt bad for Subaru having to worry for her and put up with Roswaal’s apathetic and self-interested bullshit, and I have to wondder if Ram has actually forgotten about Rem at all given her face when she hears Subaru speak Rem’s name. Then Subaru heads back to the mansion to speak with Frederica again only to find it seemingly vacated all of a sudden. ....And then he gets skewered from behind by none other than Elsa Grandhirte! Did NOT see that one coming!

Symphogear GX - Watched the OVA shorts for this series. Not quite as fun as the last ones, but still insanely entertaining, especially the ones with the F.I.S girls serving their jail time (they’re always stealing the show, aren’t they?) and the ones with Carol and the Autoscorers making preparations in their lair, which showed Carol’s more silly comedically serious side and somewhat humanized the villains more.

Eureka Seven - A lot of the episode is spent on Holland and Talho still dwelling on their past war crimes while Gekko State goes to catch a big wave that’s supposedly brewing in the sky on the other side of the planet, and we see Dewey now clean-shaven and getting his hair cut and groomed as he gets an update on affairs from his twerpy lackey Dominic. Talho ends up redirecting the Gekko to the ruins of a military base that holds some special meaning for her and Holland. Then Anemone and her Nirvash unit, The-END, arrive at Dewey’s military base and oooooh geez, things are creepy already!

Gintama - Odd Jobs Gin is no more! Didn’t you guys read last time?