#in which beavis dies

[homefryboy]

I like how much effort is put into drawing him in pain : )

bonuses

[bung-hole1]

Favorite HCs for olds, regs, and smarts?

YAY!!!!!! My favorites are that the smarts keep the olds and regs in check, making sure they don’t separate. And the smarts are very attached with each other, they don’t like to do things separate. They have textural issues and avoid foods and stuff. Both the smarts have nights where they cuddle together eating their favorite safe snacks while watching the olds. :D

And the olds are that they had bought that apartment as soon as they could afford it, which is most likely one bedroom one bathroom and old butthead and beavis sometimes share their one bedroom. They don’t fight as much because they somehow matured but haven’t.

And for the regs are they that butthead (and had stated this himself) hates everyone but himself, and secretly doesn’t hate beavis. Beavis has separation anxiety, due to his mother leaving him so he clings to butthead and copies him. Butthead acts like he hates it, but would do everyone he can to protect beavis from getting hurt.. other then hurting him himself. And I’ve said this before, but butthead gets scared with all the emotion he has so he takes it out on beavis, but in the end helps him in the way butthead can help.. with simple moves like holding beavis’a arm in the old man beavis episode to help him inside, wheeling beavis home from take a bow, and telling him it would suck if he died. They also share food automatically due to bad childhood.

I have more for all of them, but I need a good conversation to get me to start rambling

[trimanulo]

A few of my theories on Beavis and Butthead!

1. I think everyone noticed that Beavis did not invent a woman for himself. Instead, he came up with a Butt-head, which he was probably really waiting for. Beavis has always had strange tendencies, which I attribute to his orientation. After spending many years with Butthead, he just doesn't think about women anymore, because a friend has completely replaced them. Most likely, he even likes that Butthead beats him, for Beavis this is something normal, so much so that with each season he began to beat Butthead less and less in response. It seems to me that Beavis loves Butthead, but he can't admit it in any way, because he denies it in himself and believes that butthead will not take his feelings seriously.

2. Beavis was raped, and in my opinion more than once. In many episodes of the old seasons and in the last one, he told about a man who "did something to him", Beavis is not a virgin and was sexually assaulted. And not only in adolescence, but also in childhood, which indicates his fear of touching from other people.

3. Butthead was raised by his uncle, his mother's brother. But the mother seems to have visited her son, as she told Butthead that his father had died. Also, Butthead's uncle is most likely not poor, since he allowed his cousin to put braces on his teeth, and this is not cheap.

4. Beavis' mother did not abandon him. Beavis always remembers her and it seems that it was she who paid taxes for the house in which the boys lived for a long time. As it was in "Beavis and Butthead beat the universe", the mother found out that her son had died and she "out of grief" put the house up for sale. Perhaps she hates her son and that's why she left him alone in her house, and she lives with some rich uncle. But in any case, she does not forget about Beavis and maybe they even see each other sometimes.

5. Butthead's uncle is the rich husband of Beavis' mom. That's why these two were merged together into one house. And the phrase "I fucked your mom" came to Butthead from his uncle when he told Beavis her as a child.

6. If you sleep with Beavis or Butt-head, then you will have a new Beavis or Butt-head, who will be 100% together again later. As it was with the fathers of Beavis and Butthead.

7. Butthead does not hate Beavis, on the contrary, he loves his friend for all his stupidity. And even when Beavis is talking complete nonsense and she annoys Butthead, he says the phrase "I'll pretend I didn't hear it." But in no way offends a friend for his mental abilities.

8. Butthead always followed the "Great Corn" not only to laugh, but he also kept an eye on Beavis so that he did not do things. Perhaps it was he who brought him home after the attack and followed him everywhere so as not to lose sight of him.

9. Beavis insanely likes abuse from Butthead, that's why when butthead became good, Beavis hated him. Perhaps he just lacks touch and tactility, that's why he found them in the strokes.

10. Beavis and Butt-head may be disappointed by the fact that after sex, nothing has changed in their lives and the guys, having fulfilled their dream, will come to the conclusion that they have no one but each other and nothing else and can not be. That's it!

[linesonscreens]

Let's Read Peanuts (Only 45 more years to go!) – March 1955

There are lots of great strips I just don't have room to comment on. I strongly encourage everybody to read the full month at the official GoComics page. Today's month starts HERE.

March 1, 1955

Like a third of this month’s strips are dedicated to this LARPing as a martian bit.

March 9, 1955

What the actual hell is this face Linus is making?

March 11, 1955

Lucy has started yelling at insects. A recurring gag that will have a surprising amount of staying power.

March 13, 1955

FORCED PERSPECTIVE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!

March 18, 1955

Settle down, Beavis.

March 27, 1955

God damn, Charlie Brown is getting fed up with Lucy’s bullshit.

March 31, 1955

I appreciate the creative use of Zipatones in this one.

Thoughts:

Is it just me or does Charlie Brown still seem a bit shell-shocked from last month’s existential beatdown by Patty? It’s like his entire personality suddenly got about 20% more deadpan at the start of this month.

Actually, it might be my imagination but the whole style of the strip seems to have shifted ever so slightly recently both in the type of emotional reactions we’re getting and in the way the kids are drawn. They’re just a smidge more… Rounded? Hefty? How do I say Charlie Brown looks kind of fat without offending anybody?

You can really see the difference if you compare this month’s strips to one’s from a couple years ago.

I think a lot of it has to do with how small Schulz is drawing faces these days (which has the added effect of making them less expressive) as well as the general shape language he’s been using. The cast (especially Charlie Brown) we’re always a bit pear-shaped but they had fairly narrow shoulders which gave them a kind of triangle or cone shape overall. Recently though Schulz has been letting the shoulders stick out more as well as making everyone significantly wider overall. This has had the effect of changing that triangle into more of a rectangular box and is making everyone look just a wee bit more heavyset as a result.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, though I'll admit I kind of prefer the earlier look. Mostly though, to me this shift kind of marks the final end of the scrappy chaos gremlin version of Charlie Brown we've seen up until now and the emergence of Charlie Brown as the universe's punching bag. He just doesn't push back at the world the way he used to going forward. Patty apparently owned him so hard in the marketplace of ideas that it fundamentally shifted his personality, and by extension, the way the universe is presented to us. Honestly, I'm impressed.

It's kind of sad because I liked those more active aspects of his character. Everybody dumping on him made a lot more sense when it was understood that he was kind of a jerk in his own way and ultimately the author of his own misery. But that's just the nature of art and long-form storytelling I suppose. It either moves forward and evolves or goes stale and dies. So it goes.

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #79: "Gene E." | March 29, 2009 - 11:45PM | S07E01

Look, I made this defiant decision to renumber the seasons of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Long ago, when the internet was young, the first 18 episodes of the show (now considered “season one”) used to be split up as two seasons. I considered the later 18-episode regrouping to be some sort of needless revisionism. At the time I was starting this blog, it seemed novel at the very least, to split from the now-accepted norm. In my heart, season one was always just the 2001 episodes. I guess I just like it that way. I could fix it, but then I’d have to delete this paragraph, and my words are precious. So, if you prefer, this is season six.

Season six (*jack-off hand-motion* or seven) debuted on television on March 29, 2009. But a few months earlier (December 16, 2008 to be exact), the first four episodes of the season debuted on Digital Versatile Disc as part of Volume Six. I’ve enjoyed far fewer repeat viewings of this season than I have previous seasons; I probably watched this episode once on DVD, once on television, and I think I rewatched the series leading up to the 100th episode. That’s all to say that I’ve probably sat through this episode three times. And yet, it was entirely unfamiliar to me on this viewing. 

Shake finds a Genie in a schnapps bottle at the dump. Curiously, he’s in a dumpster at the dump, which seems redundant. It also draws a less-than-ideal comparison to Beavis and Butt-head, in which the boys go dumpster diving and find their own “genie” in a bottle, which is just a dead rat. But the Aqua Boys genie is real, I guess. He prefers to be called “Gene E.” and is clearly hungover. They take him in and he eats one of Meatwad’s sausages he was saving for his birthday. When each of them make a wish, Gene E. simply turns them all invisible, which none of them asked for. 

Eventually they find Carl, who is small for reasons of knowing Gene E. At this point Gene E. has died, and Frylock is desperately trying to harvest his organs hoping to find a genie gland or something that they can use to make an invisibility antidote. No luck. Carl and Shake spend some time in a ladies bathroom trying to be peep on women with their combined powers. They immediately blow it. Frylock figures out that Carl has been turned into a genie, hence his smallness (a fact Carl himself doesn’t seem to know). They race to find Carl, but it’s too late, he has been flushed by Shake and drowned in sewage. 

This one is just okay, and it comes off mildly diabolical when you realize how much easier it must’ve been to animate this episode with three invisible protagonists. Objects float around, and some mildly elaborate scenes occur, but still it must’ve been markedly easier to accomplish not having to worry about character animation. Mediocre Aqua Teen is still an okay way to pass the time. The fact that I didn’t remember this episode despite having seen it multiple times sorta says it all. 

EPHEMERA CORNER: 

The Mighty Boosh #15: “Eels” | March 30, 2009 - 1:00AM

Adult Swim’s foray into acquiring British programming didn’t really result in any kind of new tradition. It’s an experiment that resulted in them airing most of these shows (Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Look Around You, and The Office) through 2011 and then never again. Boosh had more staying power than its contemporaries, remaining on the block through 2013. 

There was a brief moment in 2010 when a Friday Night Brit block was a regular part of the Adult Swim schedule. I remember liking it. I sorta like the idea of an Adult Swim that has varied enough programming to have more uniquely programmed nights like that.

Adult Swim started with series three, for some reason. It was the first time I ever saw the show, which I think had previously aired on BBC America. I am honestly ill-equipped for this write-up, because it’s been a pretty long time since I’ve seen this show. I like it, but I feel like I’ve never truly loved it. It’s one of those ones I really should revisit. 

The Boosh boys actually rolled through comic-con and put on a show in partnership with Adult Swim. I was there! I intend to cover it in some fashion when 2008 comic-con rolls around, but I don’t know if I’ll actually have much to say about it, so please don’t consider this a tease.

[pinkopalina]

hi!!!! sending you a message to say hello!!!! hope youre doin ok!! i dont know if asks are a good way of talkin to people but if you want to just talk about something i am curious to know what the heck beavis and butthead even is hahahaaa

hello!!! thank you so much 🩷💖🩷 I'm doing fine trying to derail my one track mind! (lyrics)

okay sure! So Beavis and Butthead originally started as a single short from Mike judge called "frog baseball" that was played on MTV's "liquid television", which was an animation showcase at the time

(another cartoon that I love that started out there was aeon flux! the live action movie is awful, the later seasons aren't quite like the original shorts, but the og shorts are MAGICALLLLL)

because of that shorts popularity, MTV ended up ordering a series out of it and Mike judge didn't really know what he was doing at the time. he had just graduated with a degree in physics but he found the field very boring and once he saw some animation cells he decided to get a camera and get into it himself.

so this opportunity was one of his very first steps into big time animation. he had made an animated short right before called office space which ended up becoming the big movie office space too!

Beavis and Butthead at its core is really just about like I think the most low brow basic but still funny jokes that like we all make as people? like. that's what she said, but without that's what she said. giggling at funny words and laughing at toilet humor and seeing the stupidity and things but not vilifying them? there's stuff that we all do and stuff that we all laugh at and Beavis and butthead is a really fun way at showing it. they were like the blueprint for a lot of formats and a lot of things we find funny and a lot of successful low brow jokes

something special to this season alone is the development of the characters and additional information about how they would feel about things happening? in the original it was very you get what you see and you see what you get and the boys would just behave certain ways and you could speculate a lot on their behavior. but now we're being given a lot of fun little tidbits from other characters and other sources, like if Beavis died, then Butthead would be so sad that he would die of grief a few days later. whereas before they've been quick to say that they're not really friends and that they don't really care about each other, even though you know it's not true and you know deep down that they do care about each other and that they need each other, It's kind of interesting that we're getting confirmations of extra information. Even though you didn't really need it for that interpretation to be valid to begin with.

It's fun to have something so stupid, but also have an extra layer of meaning on it because like even if they're stupid or degenerate or whatever (The truth is they are that way because they were abandoned but that's not the focus of the show) they're still people and they still go through life and they still have to live it and it's fun to get to watch them see how they would do it because they end up having these really awful shitty lives that they somehow managed to find a lot of joy and peace and contentment with and I guess that aspect of it is what really hits home for me even if I think that's an unintended but pleasant side effect

[ulkaralakbarova]

Slacker duo Beavis and Butt-Head wake to discover their TV has been stolen. Their search for a new one takes them on a clueless adventure across America, during which they manage to accidentally become America’s most wanted. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Beavis / Butt-Head / Tom Anderson / Mr. Van Driessen / Principal McVicker (voice): Mike Judge Muddy Grimes (voice): Bruce Willis Dallas (voice): Demi Moore Old Woman On Plane And Bus (voice): Cloris Leachman Agent Flemming (voice): Robert Stack Agent Hurly (voice): Jacqueline Barba Flight Attendant / White House Tour Guide (voice): Pamela Blair Old Faithful Ranger / White House Press Secretary / Strategic Air Command Lieutenant (voice): Eric Bogosian Man on Plane / Man in Confession Booth / Old Guy / Jim (voice): Kristofor Brown Mötley Crüe Roadie #2 / Tourist Man (voice): Tony Darling Airplane Captain / White House Representative (voice): John Doman French Dignitary (voice): Francis Dumaurier Petrified Forest Recording (voice): Jim Flaherty TV Thief #2 / Concierge / Bellboy / Male TV Reporter (voice): Toby Huss Limo Driver / TV Thief / Man In Confession Booth / Forest Ranger: Sam Johnson Mötley Crüe Roadie (voice): David Letterman Tour Bus Driver (voice): Richard Linklater Flight Attendant #2 (voice): Rosemary McNamara Indian Dignitary (voice): Harsh Nayyar Announcer In Capital (voice): Karen Phillips President Clinton (voice): Dale Reeves Hoover Technician / General At Strategic Air Command (voice): Mike Ruschak Flight Attendant #3 / Female TV Reporter (voice): Gail Thomas ATF Agent Bork (voice): Greg Kinnear Additional Voices (voice): Tim Guinee Film Crew: Screenplay: Mike Judge Executive Producer: Van Toffler Author: Joe Stillman Animation Director: Yvette Kaplan Original Music Composer: John Frizzell Line Producer: Winnie Chaffee Executive Producer: David Gale Background Designer: Michael Rose Layout: Maurice Joyce Animation Manager: Mike Baez Art Department Manager: Bill Schwab Animation: Eun Sook Song Animation: Ilya Skorupsky Animation: Eugene Salandra Additional Writing: Brian Mulroney Layout: Dan Shefelman Visual Effects: Eric S. Calderon Art Department Manager: Brian Moyer Storyboard: John Rice Storyboard: Ray daSilva Animation: Yong Hwa Seo Background Designer: Edward Artinian Animation Director: Tony Kluck Layout: Meika Rouda Layout: Bill Moore Layout: Gloria De Ponte Animation Director: Chris Prynoski Art Department Manager: Jody Schaeffer Special Effects: Normand Rompré Layout: Siobhan Mullen Animation: Doug Crane Animation: Ben Price Editor: Dave Hughes Producer: Abby Terkuhle Producer: Michael Blakey Co-Producer: John Andrews 3D Supervisor: Claudia Katz 3D Animator: Scott Vanzo Sound: John Benson Sound Editor: John Bowen Supervising Sound Editor: Randle Akerson ADR Mixer: Bob Baron Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Anna Behlmer Sound Effects Editor: Ed Callahan Foley Editor: Linda Di Franco Foley Recordist: Neil Cedar ADR Editor: Joe Dorn Foley Artist: Ken Dufva Foley Artist: David Lee Fein Sound Recordist: Eric Friend Sound Editor: Scott G.G. Haller Sound: John Lunn Sound Effects Editor: Susan Kurtz Sound Effects Editor: Chuck Michael Sound Editor: Tony Pipitone Sound Recordist: Michael Ruschak Sound Recordist: Philip Rogers First Assistant Sound Editor: Paul O’Bryan Foley Artist: Sarah Monat Foley Artist: Robin Harlan Foley Recordist: David Jaunai Assistant Sound Editor: Dana LeBlanc Frankley Art Direction: Kye-Jeong Ahn Art Direction: Jeff Buckland Editor: Neil Lawrence Editor: Terry Kelley Editor: Gunter Glinka Director of Photography: David J. Miller Movie Reviews:

[its-me-jane-lane]

Hey, as someone getting into daria at the moment, LOVE your blog. Do you have any thoughts or headcanons about daria and beavis and butthead? Just in general, considering that they're in the same universe. I personally like to think daria and jane, and beavis and butthead become unconventional friends, but what about you??

first of all holy shit i follow your art acct on instagram!!! i'm a huge fan!!!

as far as headcanons,,, hm,,, well the new movie suggests that beavis and butthead sort of time traveled to 2022, so i don't think they would ever hang out again, however their "death" would REALLY get to daria.

they'd be eating their lasagna at the dinner table as they often do and helen would say, "daria, do you remember some boys named... beavis and butthead? back in highland?" to which she would reply, "with all the brain cells they caused me to lose, i'm surprised my answer is yes." then helen would reveal that they died in space and she would just fall silent. no clever remarks, no snide comments, nothing. she'd get up, go to her room, and call me.

as much as she doesn't want to admit it, she really envied their relationship. i think that's why her and i were so important to her. because like them, she was able to find someone that was on her level and could finally understand her in the way that those two understand each other. i think they were also the only thing that made highland interesting, whereas lawndale generally had more going on for her. she just,,, really appreciated their existence, despite how obnoxious it was. and despite their name calling, they clearly had a certain level of respect for her too. (certainly more than any other women they've met). so there was a silent,,, understanding of sorts,,, that they improved each other's lives.

i like the idea that as an adult, she may run into their teenage selves in 2022 and get out every joke she's been holding back for the last 20 years, but otherwise my headcanons mainly lie in her secret envy and appreciation for them.

[werezmastarbucks]

Whitmore Guy: scheming

whitmore guy masterlist

word count: 1986

music: lana del rey - salvatore, twenty one pilots - anathema

He was still giggling minutes after they left.

“Why the long face?” he asked, as they were walking up the stairs. “Still upset about that necklace?”

“FBI’s not good news, Mal”, she said and scratched her nose.

“Because of all the vampires in the town?”

“Exactly”.

“Well, then, it’s not good news for them”, Mal shrugged, “don’t you guys, like, hide the bodies very well?”

“Didn’t they seem a bit off to you?”

“There we go”, he chanted apologetically, “you’re paranoid. They gave me an impression of very unprofessional guys who need more sleep. What did you read in their faces?”

“You yourself acknowledged that their question about odd weather was ridiculous”.

“And that’s what it was”, Mal stood at her door, holding onto it, his other hand resting on his hip. Y/N just noticed that he was wearing a t-shirt with a Xenomorph and a Predator stylized as Beavis and Butthead. Mal could be many things at the end of the day, but there was no arguing that this t-shirt was one of the coolest Y/N’s ever seen in her life.

  ____________________________

Y/N rarely needed someone, but when she did, Mystic Falls folk was always there. That was one thing Mal didn’t understand about them, being here for not too long, and not getting into the depth of what living in the most cursed town in the country was like. Damon might be a jerk; he’s cold, brusque and condescending, but he also saved her life not less than thirteen times. Getting a bit angry was his way of caring. That is, it of course didn’t mean they didn’t try to change him.

The warmest of them was Elena Gilbert. Who didn’t know her? She didn’t even visit Whitmore because she was always busy at the hospital, but Mal managed to hear everything about her. That she’s stunningly beautiful, that she’s got the most tremendous hair and a face like a doll, that she’s a very promising young nurse and that she’s engaged to Stefan Salvatore, the marble boy, as Mal called him.

There were unbreakable ties. And they always found a way to ring when bothered. And they always vibrated when an emergency council was needed.

Everybody had a specific place in the Salvatore living room: Caroline always sat in the middle of the big couch. Elena usually was prepped to her thigh. Alaric preferred the little armchair turned against the window, so that he doesn’t have to touch knees with anybody. Stefan always stood at the fireplace, like being a little away helped him concentrate better. Damon sat on the armrest of the big couch, or shuffled around with bottles at his alcohol table. Bonnie walked to a fro, annoying him beyond belief. Y/N liked to take any free space and stretch out her legs, but it had the be the spot from which she could see Damon’s sanctuary and wink at him when she needed a drink. He was always happy to contribute to somebody’s alcoholism. He liked drinking buddies.

“Okay, we have two things to discuss”, Caroline said in her general of army voice, and Y/N almost expected her to pull a huge notebook and a pen out of her bra.

“First: the weird FBI guys who pissed Damon off”.

“I said, nosy FBI guys, not weird”.

“Whatever. And the dinner party that Y/N’s organizing this weekend. I suggest we start with the important stuff”, Caroline’s cat-like eyes pierced her with attention.

“How many people are we talking? What music will you have? What is the theme? Any team games in plans? What’s the menu?”

Y/N smiled as Bonnie rolled her eyes, and nodded to Damon. The vampire moved to his special table without any hurry.

“I also have a question about it”, Ric raised his hand, “can I skip?”

“No”.

Y/N’s been thinking about the ways she could grab Mal by the ass. Except literally wanting to do it, maybe, one day in the future; against all her instincts warning her, she meant to expose him and his lies. And she needed everybody to be there. To hang out with him in an enclosed space. She imagined this going all the unexpected ways: Elena sniffs something out on him, or Caroline notices that he takes the fork in the wrong hand; Bonnie brushes elbows with him and gets a vision which will tell them everything. Wise old Stefan asks him a cunning question and he pops. Something like this.

“Mal Osbourne’s just lost a woman he loved very much, and he feels alienated and sad”, Y/N accepted the glass from Damon and looked in his frowning face.

“Didn’t look alienated to me yesterday”, Alaric demurred, “he was jumping all round the teachers’ room, happy as ever. I actually found it very strange, given his reaction when Damon… killed her”.

“You think it’s a good idea to put Damon and him in the same room?” the younger Salvatore inquired.

She nodded. Damon shrugged. He didn’t really care for the disgruntled relatives or boyfriends of those he killed. If he did, life would be a nightmare.

She wasn’t sure about it at all but decided to go with her bullshit as far as she could. She needed to clash him with the real life. See what colors come out.

“How is he holding up?” Elena asked.

“Seems fine. Acts fine. I’m sure he holds it all inside”.

Nobody thought to contradict.

“Can we talk about how he knows that we’re vampires?” Caroline narrowed her eyes and crossed her legs.

“He figured it on his own. Said you guys were very obvious”.

She felt a pair of green eyes watching her closely. Bonnie rested her elbows against the sofa’s back and gave out a little satisfied smile.

“Are you into him?”

“Come on. Everybody knows I’m still desperately in love with Damon”.

Bonnie was left content still. Salvatore collapsed on the couch opposite her and rolled his eyes.

“It’s going to be a little party, only us and him. Mal cooks, so all the food will be on him”.

“Does he know Damon will be coming?” Stefan wouldn’t let go. Y/N sighed and put her hand in her pocket, feeling for her phone. She called him right away, put the call on the speakers, while everyone else was watching her curiously. Mal picked up after the fourth ring. There was music on the background that he didn’t bother to turn a bit down.

“Sup, monster fucker”.

She could see Elena’s eyebrows go all the way up.

“Mal, I’m having a dinner party at the weekend at my place”.

“AWESOME!”

“You’re cooking”.

“You bet! What do you want?”

“Something for four vampires, a witch, Ric and us two”.

He was silent for a second.

“Oh. Is the moron Dummy coming, too?”

Damon’s face was full of painful indignation.

“Yes”.

“For fuck’s sake”.

“Can you make it?”

“Yeah”.

“Will you try to kill him?”

“I don’t know…” Mal’s voice had suggestive uncertain undertones.

“Please don’t”.

“Ok-kay…”

“Cool. See you at work”.

“Wait. Does he have any allergies? Can vampires have allergies?”

“Bye, Mal”.

Bonnie was perplexed. She exchanged looks with Elena. Ric looked properly miserable. She imagined pairing them two while playing Alias. She would have so much fun.

“That’s done”.

“He doesn’t sound sad at all”, Caroline confirmed.

“And you start noticing there are things off about him only now. While I told you that like a month ago”.

Everybody shifted dismissively.

“Whatever it is, I will deal with it myself. You guys concentrate on the FBI douches”.

“Did they bother you much?” Stefan asked.

“No, but they seemed so… not FBI-like”.

“Have you met a lot of FBI agents?” Bonnie asked, visibly amused.

Y/N shrugged, getting up from the couch.

“I’ve seen enough movies. I’ll go get some air”.

She passed the long hall and went out to the yard of the huge mansion. Night was very gentle. Bright marbles of stars shone in the perfect black matter, distant and therefore harmless. She knew well pretty things could hurt. Every time she raised her eyes to the sky now, something poked her in the lung, like a rib that was crooked. The pain was phantom but strong nonetheless.

Sometimes she wished she smoked. She walked over to the nearest trees to listen to them and not the voices from the house. One caught up with her anyway.

“Don’t wander too far off, or you’ll stay in the forest forever”.

Y/N turned to the voice and let her eyes get used to the darkness. Wide branches of the apple tree hid the lights from the windows. Stars faded away from the sky.

Damon touched her elbow lightly and led her to the bleak golden puddles of light on the grass.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you”, he said, and paused, making her wonder if he finished the sentence in his mind but failed to utter.

“Yes?”

“This Mal guy, did he ever tell you where he came from?”

“He says he’s from Ohio”.

“Hmm”.

“Notoriously known as the state that produces weirdos… I guess?”

“You still think he’s pretending to be somebody else?”

“I don’t know. I take it easy”.

Damon nodded, his eyes flickering with silver stars in the pale light.

“I wanted to ask you something, too. For some time now, actually”.

He looked at her attentively.

“Last November, do you remember?”

Salvatore cocked his head and said slowly,

“Uh-huh, there was a November”.

“We were in Georgia after Matt died, looking for his killer. And I got really sick so I stayed behind in the motel”.

He nodded again. His face expressed nothing.

“What did you do there? What happened there? Why did everyone return so distressed?”

She inhaled, and her voice quivered a bit.

“And why do I feel so bad ever since?”

Damon frowned.

“You never said it, little one. Bad – how?”

“Don’t- not you. Don’t pretend I’m the one who’s going nuts. What happened, Damon? We went to that pit, that place which takes away memories, and ever since then I’ve been completely restless”.

She couldn’t grab the idea. Every time she tried to think about it, her mind came undone in a thousand pieces, and she felt like she was old, and forgetful, and drunk. There was that little thing that stung her brain, making it numb, there was something that made her want to cry – and yet, she couldn’t catch it like she was blindfolded.

“Y/N”, he took her shoulders with warm palms. Damon’s intense stare was intoxicating. Even though it didn’t really make her knees weak anymore; she couldn’t look away. “I would never – ever – do anything to hurt you. You know that. You see that tree over there?”

They both looked back to the house at the slender, tall, unusually golden and fruitless apple tree reaching up and up, for seven years now. Sure she remembered. The day when Katherine tried to bury her alive, and she cried. And shivered. And suffocated. She went through such terror she thought she would never emit a sound again. Until Damon came, breaking the earth and the casket, and reaching for her. And then, he planted that damn seed on that very place, to remind her about that fucking day. He admired that golden tree, so sophisticated, full of unexpected magic, seemingly out of nowhere, glistening even in the night.

She sighed.

Maybe it’s easy. Maybe it’s right under her nose, and she’ll be very angry when it uncovers itself. And she’ll say, I should’ve known.

She looked in Damon’s concerned eyes.

“You gotta promise you’ll be nice to Mal no matter what he does or how he acts”.

“That’s a lot to ask. The kid’s annoying as he-” Damon cut himself and raised a finger. “Wait a sec”.

He disappeared in the dark of the yard, without a sound.

Of course, it didn’t take a sec. Damon was gone for full ten minutes, and Y/N went back into the house, preparing herself for the FBI talk.

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Dating Mat Barzal But Loving Another Team Would Include

Mat didn’t know that your favourite team wasn’t the Isles for a few dates.

It wasn’t that you were trying to hide it, it was that he just didn’t want to talk hockey, which was fair.

So, he just didn’t know until he did.

“Hey, Beavi and some of the guys and their girlfriends are going out tonight, he wants to know if we want to join?”

You didn’t even look up from your phone. “Can’t, the (team) plays tonight.”

“What?” He asked you, confused.

You looked up at him with a nervous smile. “Uh, they’re kinda my favourite team…”

He laughed. He actually laughed.

“Like actually?”

“Yeah. And (player) is my favourite player.”

He laughter died. “I thought I was your favourite?”

You chuckled and got up to wrap your arms around him in a hug. “You’re my favourite, but he’s my favourite favourite.”

Mat rolled his eyes.

And since then, he makes jabs every time he could.

“(Team) is on a losing streak, eh?”

“Did you see that the (team) let in 6 goals tonight?”

And hypes up the Isles.

“Our PK is third in the league.”

“We’re holding steady at the top of the Metro, how’s your team doing?”

It’s cute in an annoying way.

The other players and WAGs find it cute and funny too.

But it becomes a lot less funny when (team) is in town to play the Isles…

And when you come home from work to get ready before heading to the arena, you find a Barzal jersey laying on your bed with a little note: “you better wear this.”

You don’t.

You pull out your favourite player’s jersey from the back of your closet and wear that to the game.

And Mat finds out you did that at intermission when he’s asked during the intermission interview how he felt about his girlfriend wearing a jersey for the other team.

He isn’t happy.

And he channels that anger into his game and has a killer second period.

Girlfriend wearing another man’s name?

Isles down by 1 after 20?

No problem.

Mat gets himself a natural hattrick in the second period to put the Isles up by 2 going into second intermission.

The Isles won.

And Mat thought he would remind you what his name was.

(It was the only thing out of your mouth that night)

[ltwilliammowett]

The loss of the Halsewell East-Indiaman, Capt. Richard Pierce. This rich laden ship (outward bound) was wreck'd off Seacombe in the Isle of Purbeck in Dorsetshire, on the 6th of Jan 1786, by unkown

The Halsewell was an East-Indiaman of 776 tons, launched in 1778.  She had three decks, a length of 139.5 feet (42.5 m) and a breadth of 36 feet (11 m). She was under the command of Captain Richard Pierce on her way to Madras.

She had sailed down the Thames at New Year 1786, but problems began as she approached the Dover Strait on Monday 2 January. Snow and ice fouled the topsails and also rendered the mainsail virtually useless. On Tuesday, as the ship lay at anchor, a strong gale from the east-north-east was threatening to drive her into the Kentish cliffs. Cables were cut and the Halsewell made for open sea. The wind intensified and turned to the south during the evening; by now the gun-deck was awash. Things got worse on Wednesday– the water in the hold was now five feet deep, the hull was leaking, and ‘all the pumps were set to work’. The mizzenmast was cut down and further attempts were made ‘to wear the ship’. The coxswain, and four others drowned in a desperate bid to turn the ship from the wind.

The wreck of the 'Halsewell', Indiaman, 1786 ( shows the roundhouse- the passenger saloon under the poop deck), by Thomas Stothard, 1786

By eight o’clock on Wednesday morning, the ship had been pointed eastwards and, for a few hours, the Halsewell laboured in heavy seas in Lyme Bay. Two feet of the water in the hold was pumped out and it was impossible to continue towards to India, but the crew bent another fore-sail, raised a ‘jury main-mast, and set a top-gallant-sail for a main-sail’ and aimed to limp into Portsmouth for repairs. Progress was painfully slow – twelve  hours later the ship successfully passed Portland Bill, but the immediate objective was to round the next treacherous trio of rocky headlands at Anvil Point, Durlston Head and Peveril Point with a view to anchoring in relative shelter in Studland Bay. Instead, at eleven o’clock that night, the sky cleared and the great promontory of St Alban’s Head lay a mile and half to the leeward. Sails were drawn in immediately and the sheet-anchor dropped. Captain Pierce knew they didn't have much time left until they ran aground somewhere.

The Loss of an East Indiaman (formerly Loss of a Man of War), depicting the shipwreck of the Halsewell East Indiaman on 6 January 1786, off the Isle of Purbeck, Dorset, England, by Joseph Mallord William Turner

Cannon were fired to alert those onshore to their predicament. Captain Pierce put his efforts into trying to preserve his daughters and the other young ladies. At the moment of impact – at two o’clock in the morning of the Friday – those standing in the cuddy were propelled into the overhanging deck above.

Captain Pierce, prayedthat the stricken ship would hold together until dawn, when rescue might come and escape routes could be seen. The hull, however, was splitting apart. A seaman named Burmaster climbed through a skylight in the roundhouse and waved a lantern, by which Henry Meriton noticed that a spar from the side of the ship was resting on the rocks. Meriton attempted to escape but was carried off by a surging wave, although it then washed him up onto a shelf at the back of a cavern. The remaining officers took refuge on the upper quarter-gallery on the poop deck.  Meanwhile, 27 men found refuge on what is now known as the Halsewell Rock. Because it was low tide, and they feared being washed away, the seamen struggled to escape from there to join Meriton in the cavern and several ‘perished in their efforts’. Those who found refuge had escaped immediate death but they had to endure the cold and perpetual dousing with icy spray.

Loss of the East Indiaman Halsewell by Robert Smirke, before 1845 

Their one stroke of luck was that Garland and his quarrymen came from a nearby quarry  and were heading to the cliff-top with ropes; the problem, however, was that neither boats nor ropes could reach them. Their only escape was to crawl along an exposed ledge ‘scarcely as broad as a man’s hand’. Then they had to turn a corner and climb vertically.

Shipwrecked soldiers, newly recruited for the East India Company, were particularly saddened to lose their young drummer boy; washed seawards, he was then held in the same spot by counter-currents, until he succumbed. Likewise they could only watch as one Thomas Jeane was washed in and out by the sea for seven hours before he drowned.

The Wreck of the Halsewell, by Hubert E. Beavis (b.1925)

The quarrymen carried on pulling up seamen and soldiers for the whole day and returned at dawn on Saturday 7 January, for the last man – William Trenton, a soldier – who had managed to withstand extreme hypothermia. The muster of men alive at Eastington Farm reached just 74 out of the 242 who had set sail. In all, 88 had been recovered but fourteen died in the process. All the ship’s documentation was lost and cargo and debris floated across a wide area, including the remains of a single sheep – the only sign of all the livestock that had been carried.

[myhockeyworld87]

Love Me Anyway - Tyler Seguin - Part 5

Word Count: 3371

POV:  Starts out in Reader and changes to Tyler

Warnings: Language, fluff 

Notes: Hope you guys enjoy this one. The next one won’t be up for 2 weeks. Happy Reading

READER’S POV

You fell asleep last night with a smile on your face. Your date with Tyler had been nothing short of amazing. He seemed to really love everything that you’d planned. You woke up in the morning giddy, and literally kicked your feet in the air shrieking. You always sang while you got ready in the morning but today you were just belting it out, as you got ready to meet Jenna for lunch.

Jenna had sent you a quick text telling you Mimi and Becca were tagging along. Which made total sense, since you four did practically everything together. You met your friends at a little restaurant you always dined at. You were the first one there so you grabbed a table for the four of you. You contemplated texting Tyler when Becca and Jenna walked in.

“Hi, ladies,” you said as they sat down.

“Hi yourself,” Jenna replied. “From the look on your face, it looks like your date went well.”

“I could say the same to you,” you quipped back at her.

Just then Mimi walked in. “Please tell me I didn’t miss any of the juicy details from either of these dates.”

“Nope, we just sat down,” Becca told her.

“Alright, you two then spill it,” Mimi said looking between you and Jenna.

“You first,” you said to Jenna. You knew she had a crush on Derek for a long time and you were happy to see things finally starting to work out between.

“It wasn’t really anything special,” Jenna stated. “He came over to my place and we ordered take out.”

Mimi stopped her. “What did you order?” You all looked at her, like does it really matter. “Guys, I’m a reporter. I need to know all the details, nothing is too small.”

“We just ordered some Chinese, from the restaurant around the corner. He brought over some wine so we had that as well.” She proceeded to tell you. “We didn’t talk about anything major. It was all really just things we talk about all the time. You know like how he likes to work out and golf. He says I should go with him sometime, but I haven’t played in years.”

“Oh my god, we can totally go out for a round sometime; if you need to practice.” Becca chimed in. She was in a golf league so probably the most qualified to help out. You remember Tyler talking about golf last night as well and thought you may be taking Becca up on that offer yourself, though you’d never actually played. Unless miniature golf counted? You rocked at that.

“I just may take you up on that,” Jenna continued, dragging you away from your thoughts about Tyler. “But then we just rented a movie.” That’s all Jenna said. You knew there was more to the story, but she wasn’t spilling the beans.

“Oh, come on there has to be more than that.” You inquired.

“Yeah, what did the two of you watch? Last time he was over at our place, he and Bryan were watching some stupid Beavis and Butthead reruns they found on Netflix. It was so annoying; I ended up going to bed early with the dog. Please tell me it was better than that.” Mimi added.

“Oh, we watched Top Gun. I’m a sucker for that movie and Derek had heard they were doing a sequel or something.”

“Oh, I love that movie,” Becca said. You all were nodding your heads in agreement. “I could probably quote most of it.”

“So, did he make any moves on you?” you had to know.

“How about you tell us what happened between you and Tyler.” Jenna deflected.

“Oh, I will but I need to hear all the juicy parts between you and Derek first.”

“Well….I mean you know how when Goose dies it’s all emotional and things. Well, he pulled me over closer to him then. Nothing happened right away, but….Then we just started making out. We never really saw the end of the movie.” Jenna giggled.

“OOOOO,” Mimi said. “Sounds like you two are going to be an item. Did it go any further?”

“Not much,” Jenna admitted. “You know it’s weird. We’ve been friends for so long, I just don’t want to ruin that.”

“Well, they always say you should marry your best friend,” Becca stated.

“If that’s the case we’d all be married to each other,” you chimed in, causing everyone to laugh. “But really, I think things between you and Derek would great. Just give it time. It will happen naturally.”

“Alright, Confucius. Enough words of wisdom from you. It’s your turn now.” Mimi chirped at you. “How was your date with Mr. Seguin?”

You blushed. You couldn’t help it. “Did you guys have sex?” Jenna asked seeing how red you were getting.

“God no. I mean not yet. You know I’m not looking for just a quick lay.” You answered her back. “He was actually really sweet and didn’t really press me for anything more than a kiss.”

“Really?” Mimi asked. “I mean with everything you hear about him; I just kind of expected he’d want more than just a peck on the lips.”

“I know, right.” You agreed. “I thought the same thing, but he keeps surprising me at every turn. We had great conversations all night, and he was such a gentleman, opening my car door and bringing me flowers.”

“So, did he like what you planned out for him,” Becca questioned.

“Oh yeah, he told me it was the best date he’d ever had.”

“Are you guys going out again,” this coming from Jenna.

“Yeah, I think so. I didn’t really know what my week looked like; so I told him to give me a call and we could figure something out.”

“Which explains why you keep looking at your phone,” Mimi pointed out.

“Sorry,” you apologized.

“Oh stop” she answered back. “It’s cute. I can remember when Bryan and I were like that. Now there are days he calls me entirely too much, but I guess that happens when you live together. It’s always, ‘Babe can you pick up some milk?’ or ‘Did you get the dog at the groomers or was I supposed to?”

“Oh my god stop!” you told her. “I’d kill for a relationship like you two have. You guys are so cute it gives me a toothache.”

“Yeah, we all want the kind of relationship.” Becca agreed.

“Awww thanks, guys,” Mimi replied. “I think you two,” pointing to you and Jenna. “Could be well on your way.” You both blushed. “We just gotta find the right guy for you Becca, he’s out there though.”

“What about Jamie? You two seemed chummy the other night at Tyler's,” Jenna inquired.

“He’s so hot.” Becca blushed. “I’d totally date him, but I don’t think a guy like him would be interested in me.”

“You never know Becca,” you said. “I thought the same thing about Tyler, and now here I am telling you about our date.” You girls continued to chat for another hour or so. Finally leaving, but agreeing that you’d text each other and keep up to date on your romances. You headed to the market to pick up a few groceries for the week. You were browsing the aisles when your phone rang. It was Tyler.

“Hey beautiful,” he greeted you.

“Hey yourself,” you answered back.

“What are you up to?”

“Just doing some grocery shopping.”

“Great, I need bread, peanut butter, milk, and dog food.” He teased you.

“I’ll get right on that,” you sarcastically said.

“So I was thinking if you’re not busy later, maybe you’d want to go to the dog park with me and the boys?”

You hesitated for a second. Was it really wise to see him again so soon? You wanted to see him, but you didn’t know if you were moving too fast or not. Oh hell, you were over-thinking things. It’s just walking the dogs. “Sure,” you told him.

“Great. The park isn’t far from my house. I can pick you up around 4 or so.”

“I’ll just drive over since it’s closer to your place. That way you’re not driving all the way over here and then back and then back again.” You were babbling. You were pretty sure that you didn’t have to say all that for him to get your meaning.

“Sounds good babe. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Bye”

“Bye,” he finally said hanging up the phone.

You quickly, went through the grocery store, grabbing a bag of dog treats for his boys. You hoped they liked this kind. On a whim, you decided to grab him a small jar of peanut butter, some bread, and some milk. You thought you’d be cute and take it to him. You checked out and headed home to get ready and meet Tyler. He was showing you everything that you wanted in a relationship at the moment and you hoped you weren’t setting yourself by falling to fast for him. You had to believe in your instincts though and maybe just believe in him a little as well.

TYLER’S POV

She was so soft and warm against your body. You could still feel the curve of (Y/N)’s ass in your hands. She was moaning softly against your mouth, begging you to give her more. You trailed your hand up her back removing the clasp of her bra as you went. You let your head dip down to her neck trailing kisses as you went. Her bra was sliding off her, you couldn’t believe that you two were taking things this far. She whispered in your ear how much she wanted you; her hand gliding down your stomach to your erection. She was just about to take you in her hand. When…..she licked you? What the fuck? Your eyes slowly opened as Cash licked your face again. Shit! It was just a dream, but damn what a dream that was. Maybe if you fell back asleep right now you could pick it up right where you left. Gerry came over then stepping on your leg as he made his way to your face, just missing the morning wood you were sporting. Yeah, that’s totally not happening you thought.

“Alright boys, come on I’ll take you out,” you said to the dogs as you struggled to get out of bed. You let them outside to do their business making yourself a cup of coffee while you waited. You heard your phone ding and your heart skipped a beat wondering if (Y/N) was texting you. You scrambled to it only to find it was a text from Jamie asking if you wanted to hit the gym together. Why not, you were going to be hitting anything else this morning; you chuckled to yourself. You shot him a quick text back, brought the dogs in and went to change for your work out.

Jamie was already in the weight room by the time you got there.

“Hey Chubbs, need a spot on that?”

“Sure” you spotted him while he benched pressed some weights. Then you started to warm up. “So, how’d the date go last night?” Jamie inquired. “I was half afraid to text you for fear I’d be interrupting you two.”

“Shut up man, it’s not like that.” You punched Jamie in the arm.

“Oh, so you don’t want to jump her bones then,” he teased.

“Of course, I want to jump her, or er um; well not jump her bones.” God, you were flustered and she wasn’t even around you. “It’s just, (Y/N) is different. There’s something about her, you know. I kind of feel like she could be ‘the one’. You know.”

“Woah, Segs! Don’t you feel like you’re moving a bit too fast?”

“Maybe. I don’t know,” you admitted. “All I know is that from the minute she walked in the door at the club, things changed. I can’t get her out of my mind. And yeah, I’d love to have her in my bed and fuck her brains out, but I want so much more. I want to know what her favorite color is? Or does she snore when she sleeps? Does she like chocolate or vanilla? You know all the stupid little things.”

Jamie just shook his head at you. “Well do you think she wants to know those things about you as well?”

“I mean I think so. Last night was perfect. Like beyond perfect. You know she planned the date?” Jamie shook his head no, so you continued. “Yeah, we went to K1 Speed go-carting and then to Dave and Buster's. Oh, and get this, she paid. I mean I didn’t want her to but we bet and she lost and well she insisted. No woman has ever done that for me man.”

“I gotta admit it sounds like a pretty cool date, and finding someone that didn’t expect you to pick up the tab well….” Jamie trailed off a bit. “Shit I don’t think that’s ever happened for me either.”

“She just shows me something. I mean something that I didn’t know that I was missing, something that I feel like I can’t live without. God, I sound like a damn Hallmark card or something.”

“Well, Segs I hope she feels the same. It’s amazing when you find that one person and I truly hope you did. Just don’t let her go.”

You knew Jamie was thinking back on his past relationship with Katie. Things had gone south with them last season. They were either completely full on or tearing each other apart. It wasn’t healthy for either of them. You knew Jamie had gone out on a few dates since and you were pretty sure he was over Katie. You’d heard she’d moved on with one of the guys from some music group she was promoting. “Look, man, you can’t keep looking at the past,” you told him.

“I’m not,” Jamie answered quickly.

“I just mean. She’s out there for you too. We’ll find her.”

“Well speaking of that…” Chubbs added. You looked at him quizzically. “You don’t happen to have the number of (Y/N)’s friend Becca? Do you?”

“That a boy Chubbs,” you said slapping him on the back. “I don’t but I’m pretty sure I can get it.”

You two finished your workout; then you headed home for a quick shower. You were going to take the dogs to the park later and you thought it’d be perfect if (Y/N) could come with you. So you called her up. She agreed to meet you at your place around four. Thankfully the cleaning lady had been by yesterday to clean up your place after the party. You still picked up a few odds and ends lying around and made sure all the dishes were in the dishwasher before she got there. Four o’clock rolled around and soon your doorbell was ringing; the dogs running over barking to greet (Y/N) with you.

You opened the door and there she stood. “Hey,” you said as Gerry started to jump up on (Y/N) excitedly. She went over and greeted him first.

“Hi Gerry, oh I’m happy to see you too.” She said in her cute puppy voice again. “Hi Marshall, Hi Cash,” she told your boys as she petted them. You definitely were feeling left out and sort of regretting your decision to have her come here. If you’d picked her up, you’d be the only one getting her attention. God, were you seriously jealous of your own dogs? You cleared your throat to steal her away from the pups. She looked up at you then, a little sheepishly.

“Hi Ty,” she finally acknowledged, making a move towards you. You thought she was going to give you a kiss, but instead, she went for a hug and you two ended up bonking heads, laughing as it happened. “Let’s try that again,” she said; this time reaching up and touching your face for a small peck on the lips. It wasn’t close to anything like the real kiss you wanted, but you were happy for it all the same. That kiss could come later on.

“Come on in,” you told her. “I haven’t mentioned that we’re going to the P-A-R-K” you spelled out the work park for her. “They’ll be way too excited when they find out.” It was then that you noticed she was carrying a couple bags. You narrowed your eyes at them, prompting her to tell you what she had.

“Oh, I thought you said you needed bread, milk and peanut butter.” She chuckled.

“I was teasing you babe; you didn’t really have to buy those.”

“I know you were, but I figured with a bachelor like you; I should probably bring some food over just in case. You can’t live on beer.” She mocked moving into your kitchen to put the food away.

“I have food,” granted there wasn’t much in there at the moment. “Plus, there’s always takeout.”

“You call this food.” She asked, opening the refrigerator and finding more takeout containers than actual food. “Do you even know how to cook?”

You knew she was teasing you. “Of course, I make one hell of a grilled cheese.”

She was shaking her head at you and smiling at the same time. “Grilled cheese? Ok, I’ll give you that.”

“Maybe you’ll have to cook for me?” You asked, remembering how she told you she enjoyed both cooking and baking.

“I’m sure that can be arranged,” she answered as you snaked your arms around her waist. You couldn’t help yourself, you just needed to touch her when she was around.

“You smell good,” you told her as you inhaled her lavender fragrance.

“So, do you,” she answered sliding her hand around your neck.

You bent your head down to touch her lips for the real kiss you wanted from her since the moment you opened the door. There was no hesitation this time as her lips parted for you. You could taste a faint hint of mint from her mouth as the kiss deepened. Kissing (Y/N) was like getting to taste a small piece of heaven until your little hell of a pup interrupted you two. Gerry had wormed his way in causing you two to separate. You and he were going to have a few words about him cockblocking you.

“Weren’t you getting any attention Gerry” (Y/N) stated, kneeling down to scratch Gerry’s head. “Oh, I almost forget.” She jumped up and grabbed one of the bags she brought. “I wasn’t sure what kind to buy, but I thought maybe they’d like a T-R-E-A-T.” Pulling out a bag of dog treats she had apparently got at the grocery store for your boys. God, she was amazing. First buying the treats for them and then spelling the word treat as to not get them excited. How did you get so lucky to find her, you wondered?

“That’s so sweet of you,” you told her. “I’m sure they’ll love them, after their W-A-L-K.”

“Well, are you ready to go then?”

Not really, you vaguely thought. Now that you had her in your house, you had no real inclination to have her leave; but the dogs did need to get a little exercise. “Sure, let’s go to the park.” Not spelling the word this time. The dogs were happily jumping around once they heard the word. Looking expectantly at the door to see when you were going. You grabbed their leashes for the short walk to the dog park and got them on them. You handed Marshall’s leash over to (Y/N), he was most tame and you knew wouldn’t give her any problems. You put Cash and Gerry’s leash in your one hand and grabbed (Y/N)’s free hand with yours. Out the door, you all went. Walking to the park everything just felt so right. You couldn’t remember ever feeling like this before. It’s like all the pieces of your life were finally starting to come together.

[yumiyumeuniverse]

I must know how you came across reblogs of beavis and butt head fan art on my blog from 4+ years ago???

Okay, so this might be an interesting story (or boring depending on how you look at it)?

So, I have been part of the Beavis & Butthead fandom since around 2007ish, but I have only been on Tumblr for about 2 years now. So, when I joined in 2018, while I knew that the fandom had mostly died down after it's last surge since the revival in 2011, I also hoped that since people still technically wrote fan fiction for the show I would be able to find fan art of it as well. However, after a year had passed I had no such luck until I came across @plaschicdraws blog, which I immediately followed that day. Unfortunately, because I still had no idea how Tumblr worked as far as likes and reblogs was concerned, I ended up liking a bunch of posts on that blog without reblogging them to my own.

That said, this blog is basically dead now (as in you click on the link above and it gives you an error message), so I have been trying for quite a while to find the art from the blog via reblogs so that I can save it onto my own. As you can imagine, when using Tumblr alone, this is incredibly difficult, so I usually rely on Google, Bing, The Wayback Machine, etc. to find @plaschicdraws's old works. That's where you come in; in all honesty, I ran into your blog via a Google search, and seeing that you had reblogged some of that artist's art, I reblogged it onto my own blog and kept going. So, yeah tldr I was trying to find @plaschicdraws old art since their blog is no longer active, and I came across your blog through a Google search after seeing you had some of their art reblogged onto your blog. Otherwise, I'm sorry for talking so much about this, but I hope you have a great day!

[bloodfart666]

Pennywise babysitting headcannons go!

Had @alllosersdownhere help me again. EYE DIED LAUGHING DOING THIS.

Pennywise? Babysitting?

NOM???

Okay let's examine WHY he'd NOT eat the tykes?

Maybe they're relatives of yours? Someone he KNOWS you care for?

Maybe (wishful thinking) it's his own children?

Humans can pet cattle without eating them so it stands to reason that Penny is capable of something like this. 

FEED THE CLOWN FIRST OML

Self denial is NOT something he's good at!

FEED HIM

Okay. Assuming he's well fed AND has the wherewithal to NOT see a walking cheeseburger…….. You prolly better prep the kiddos too. Penny isn't exactly your typical run of the mill, gentle looking clown. 

You could ask Penny to go Bob Gray.

He won't tho.

Expect clownly guffaws if you ask.

“I EAT children, I do not SIT them.”

"Or do I sit ON them? Yes! Maybe this is acceptable." "NO PENNY!"

The child screams? He… just screams back mockingly.

Older kid throws a tantrum? He will throw one BACK. Throw himself on the floor. “That’s what YOU sound like, idiot child.”

WHY WOULD YOU LET THIS CLOWN BABYSIT???

Time to feed the kiddo? Penny sniffs their food, makes a disgusted face. “You eat THIS? I could find you something better.”

FEED THE DAMN CLOWN

Better hope the kid doesn’t want a bedtime story. Penny has some interesting ones. That child is never sleeping again and it is your fault for trusting the child-murdering clown to babysit. 

Oldest, watching Beavis and Butthead when he's CLEARLY been told NOT to? Pennywise: "This is the most RIDICULOUS…… most ASININE……. turn it up will ya?"

Baby spits food in his face? Penny's GOING to either A) leper barf a lah chapter 2 or B) dump the baby food on their head.

Kid won’t sleep? Penny doesn’t understand this. This clown can sleep for 27 years, why won’t this kid sleep for more than 27 minutes?

He would entertain them by dancing. Unfortunately, he'll probably make the world dance around him instead or do something equally traumatising for the poor tyke. Or worse…… teaching the kid to do the wagon jig."NO you fool, it's like THIS." Kicks one of your knick knacks.

Kiddo brings a teddy to show him. He takes it, stares with distaste. Shreds it with his claws and drops the mauled bear to the floor. 

Reading a picture book? He will do something HORRIFIC. ESPECIALLY if the picture book has turtles oml. Make sure it does not.

One child draws on the wall. Another child says "you know you're not supposed to do that! (Y/N) said so!" Cue demonic clown grin. Expect a Divinci quality piece on your wall. In blood? Shit? Who knows…..

Penny is babysitting a little girl who invites him to her tea party? ...Actually. This is nice. He can’t fit at the little table and his knees are up to his chest comically but still.

Kid gets bored of the tea party so Penny flips over the table and tears up the guest dolls in a rage.

He shoves on some horror movies. Lets the kids skip bedtime to watch. 

Kiddo wants to play dress up. Penny's having NONE of it……. At first.

Is unsurprisingly tolerant of child putting makeup on his face.

"MAKE ME PRETTY PENNY!" Yup. You guessed it. Expect a house full of tiny demonic clowns and one tall clown drag queen.

Bathtime! Don’t worry, he won’t leave them unsupervised. He’ll just… probably turn the water to blood or pop out of the drain.

Unless they bring out the bubbles….. This clown is going to be ADDICTED. Will probably use the entire bottle.

HE TURNS BIG BOI. Lets the kids climb on him. It is adorable. A pity it would destroy the house.

If the kiddos want to go to the park, that’s fine! He’ll watch over them. Probably grab a snack while he’s out. Plenty to pick from.

As much as he likes to mock the popping sound, you'd think he knows how to microwave a bag of popcorn. SURPRISE! He doesn't. But never one to give up he'll keep trying. Just take a moment to imagine how your house is going to smell after 10 burnt bags of popcorn.

KIDS WANT BALLOON ANIMALS

Penny does not know how to do balloon animals

He DESTROYS those balloons. Bites them in a fury. Popped balloons EVERYWHERE.

Until the oldest shows him how to make a balloon penis. Then……. Lots of cackling and balloon penises. 

Oldest girl says "Ew, that's gross. What are you? Two?"

Penny pops a balloon penis in her face.

Blanket forts. Penny cannot grasp the logic behind these. Just tears them down to scare the shit outta the kids.

But plastic sword fights? Say hello to Obi Wan Penny. Jediwise. 

Child throws candy at the television. Penny thinks this is dandy. Child puts on TMNT. Penny throws entire bowl of candy. Including the bowl.

Penny TRIES the candy. Say bye to your candy. Wrappers and all.

Baby needs changed. Nope.

Baby cries. FINE.

Penny lives in a sewer so the smell is no bother to him. This clown can actually change a nappy like a PRO….. he just doesn't WANT to.

Bed time: "I'm scared of the dark Penny." 

"GOOD…… shit…….. Ugh….. FINE

Opens mouth towards the ceiling. PRESTO! Indirect deadlight night light.

Children start falling asleep. One is on his lap. They've FINALLY fallen asleep. He doesn't move. Not a single movement. 

Let's take a moment to SAVOR what you're going to find when you get home, shall we? 

Pieces of your ceiling are gone. There's a shit Mona Lisa on your living room wall. The bathroom is flooded with bubbles. It REEKS of burnt ass popcorn. Beavis and Butthead reruns on the tube, which is covered with pre chewed candy. Blankets and plastic swords EVERYWHERE. And there on the couch, amongst a sea of balloon penises, your sleeping demonic clown children. And a VERY disgruntled drag queen. 

The next morning, you find on your night stand….. A pristine brand new copy of "No Drama Discipline" by Daniel J Siegel.

[entwinedmoon]

John Torrington: Reflections

(Previous posts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Today, January 1, 2020, is the 174th anniversary of John Torrington’s death. Him dying on New Year’s Day must have dampened whatever celebrations the crew were most likely enjoying, a dark day in a quite literally dark month, as the sun would not return for some time. He would have been buried in that endless night, during a snowstorm (a layer of snow was still preserved on top of his coffin), the first death in what had so far been a successful expedition. A death so soon may have worried the crew, but since it was due to an illness he’d brought with him, it may have just been considered a fluke. They may not have been concerned, still thinking they would make it through and discover the last piece of the Northwest Passage. If they had succeeded, Torrington would have been a minor footnote in the history of a triumphant journey, his grave a small curiosity for anyone who may pass by. But no one made it home from the Franklin Expedition, and Torrington is now seen as an early warning sign of the tragedy awaiting the rest of the men.

Why is it that, after all these years, anyone still talks about Torrington? What is the fascination with him and the other men buried on Beechey? I know what draws me to his story, and while I can’t speak for everyone, I think there are at least some people who share the same reasons.

So what intrigues me about John Torrington? Why did I write this series, spanning eleven blog posts and over 25,000 words (that’s half a book!), about a 174-years-dead Victorian sailor, spending my spare time researching and dedicating long hours to studying his life and death?

In trying to pin down just what fascinates me about Torrington, I went through some of my old writing, and I found this little snippet from an essay I never finished. It was written almost ten years ago, on January 13, 2010:

It was all John Torrington’s fault. I couldn’t sleep because of that frozen grimace, mouth and eyes both slightly open—eyes, intact, seriously, staring back at me. He just stares, cold, frozen, dead. I’m not likely to go on a polar expedition any time soon and possibly die from lead-tainted food or whatever killed him, but it’s not that idea that frightens me. He stares at me in the night, in the corners, in the reflections in the moonlit mirror on my closet door, in the folds of the dirty laundry on the floor, he’s there, staring at me. Going to the bathroom at night is the worst, walking through the dark hallway, knowing he’s following me, just behind me, out of sight, but still manages to jump ahead to stare at me in the split second before the bathroom light comes on, inches from my face in the thick darkness, but then he runs and hides again in the shadows of the hall, lurking, waiting to follow me back to my room.

Sometimes it’s Otzi or Jaunita or Ida Girl or Cherchen Man. Never King Tut or Ramses II for some reason though. But John has always stood above the rest, just the memory of a picture haunting me.

As you can see, I had a slightly different attitude toward Torrington back then. To explain this, let me start from the beginning.

When I was about seven or eight, my older brother brought home a copy of Buried in Ice from school, where he was learning about the Franklin Expedition. He of course shared the pictures in the book with me and my older sister because he thought they were creepy and that’s what you do when you’re a kid, you share creepy stuff to try to scare your siblings. I’m in my early thirties now, so the memory has faded over the years, but there’s still a lot that stands out even now. I remember eating a particular type of corn chip that to this day I associate the flavor of with lead poisoning. My brother told me about how the brains of the three mummies had turned into a yellow liquid—something we thought was gross but also cool for some reason. I remember that there was no way to just flip the book over to cover up the picture of Torrington on the front cover because—oh goodie—there was a picture of him on the back too. My brother and I commented on the golden color of Torrington’s discolored skin (I don’t know why we thought “golden” instead of yellow—it sounds more poetic to call it “golden” but that was certainly not our intention). I also remember that later, after my brother had returned the book to school but we were still haunted by the images, we couldn’t recall the names of Hartnell and Braine, so we called them Big Head and Snarl Face instead. But we remembered the name Torrington, probably because he was featured more prominently in the book. And due to that prominence, Torrington was the one I would think of when lying in bed at night, watching shadows in the closet morph into monsters.

To try to combat my fear, I used a trick I’d learned where I turn the scary thing into something ridiculous (this was before Harry Potter was published, but it’s the same theory as how to fight a Boggart). I put the three mummies into a long-running story that I’d made up in my head—and I made them undead idiots. Like zombie versions of Beavis and Butthead. Yeah, I did that. I made them weird funny sidekicks in my story, but it didn’t really stop me being afraid when I saw pictures of them again.

Remarkably, despite being terrified of Torrington, I became obsessed with mummies as a kid, an obsession that continues to this day. I would marvel over pictures of Tollund Man, Ötzi, and the Qilakitsoq mummies of Greenland.

But not John Torrington.

Whenever I would flip through a book about mummies, if I encountered a picture of Torrington, I would slam my hand over the page to cover it. I would be creeped out by other mummies, but it was never to the same level as it was with Torrington. And yet, I would still be compelled to peek, even after covering the page. I would regret it immediately, but there was something that made me want to look, even though looking at him was the last thing I wanted to do.

Over the years, Torrington would find his way into a few more stories of mine, in some form or another. In college, I wrote a short story for a fiction writing class where the picture of Torrington on the cover of Frozen in Time started talking to a young woman, representing her repressed thoughts and fears (he cracked a lot of jokes in that one). At that point in time, however, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to read Frozen in Time. I had bought a copy a while ago—the 2004 revised edition—and when it arrived from Amazon I flipped through it, telling myself that I was an adult and I loved mummies and I could bravely face the pictures of these boogeymen from my childhood.

That last part turned out to be incorrect. Several weeks of being too afraid to turn off the light at night ensued. I wouldn’t read the book for another eight or nine years.

But eventually I did read it, multiple times in fact, and I’m no longer terrified of pictures of Torrington, or Hartnell and Braine. That all started a little less than two years ago.

It began with another story idea I had that incorporated Torrington, one I have yet to write. I thought I should do some research into him first if I was going to include him. Around the same time, The Terror was airing on AMC. The exact timeline is a little hazy for me, because the story idea actually first came to me at the end of 2017, but The Terror first aired in March 2018. I can’t remember if I had the idea to add Torrington to my story before I started watching The Terror or not, but I think it was before.

Once I started researching Torrington and the Franklin Expedition, I quickly became obsessed. I had poked around Franklin research before, but my fear of Torrington would always hold me back. I would peer through my fingers at pictures and facts, but I could never do more than that. But now I was hooked.

My childhood nightmares were there at first, just out of the corner of my eye, but my research started to shift those in strange ways. I had always seen Torrington as this ancient, towering monster, but then I discovered that he was only twenty when he died and stood at only five-foot-four. I’m older than him. I’m taller than him. His desiccated body weighed less than ninety pounds, which I definitely weigh more than. Basically, if he came charging out of the closet, I could take him.

But what really drew me in was realizing that we knew so little about him. I could look at a picture of his face, frozen in time, but I couldn’t reach back into the past to ask him about himself. I’ve known about him almost my whole life, with him skulking in a corner of my brain, stepping out of the shadows every now and then, but I didn’t really know who he was as a person. The Franklin Expedition can drive people mad with the mystery of what happened to the men after they entered the Arctic, but suddenly I became obsessed with knowing what had happened before the expedition. Who was John Torrington? Who was this guy that has occupied my dreams and nightmares, who has taken up a permanent residence in my mind ever since I first laid eyes on him? Who was this young man who has somehow been a part of my life for so long, but whom I know so little about?

I know I’m not the only one who has been asking these questions, or who has been living with the Franklin ice mummies in their heads. I’ve met some amazing people online who are just as obsessed, if not more so. Thanks to this series, I’ve had people contact me about their own interest in Torrington and the Beechey Boys and how they understand my love for them.

Many times before, I’ve attempted to put in words just what draws me to mummies. In 2011 I even started a long-since-abandoned blog about mummies called Digging the Dead, where I tried to explain my interest. But I’m going to try my best now to pin down what has compelled me to study Torrington, and why he keeps popping up in my life.

I think part of the appeal of Torrington—and Hartnell and Braine—is the shockingly alive appearance of their preserved bodies, with some morbid curiosity over their undead vibe thrown in. The preservation of a body, preventing the natural process of decay, is fascinating. It’s a type of immortality, although one the mummy doesn’t get to enjoy. Torrington looks like he could get up and walk around—possibly in a zombie-like way, but still. He looks more like a real person than some mummies, like bog bodies that became too twisted by the weight of the peat or desert mummies that have a freeze-dried appearance. But a large part of the fascination with Torrington, and mummies in general, is that it’s like touching a piece of the past. When we see their pictures, we’re looking at something that is from a time long gone, but they seem so very present, so tangible in the here and now. They are time travelers, in a way, and this is our way of reaching out to them across the years.

And with the mystery of the Franklin Expedition, Torrington, Hartnell, and Braine add an extra layer of intrigue as well as reminding us that there were more than just officers on board. We have pictures of Franklin, Crozier, Fitzjames, and many of the lieutenants and mates, but the ordinary sailors and marines didn’t have the luxury of having their pictures taken. What they looked like has been lost to time, but the preserved remains of Torrington and the Beechey Boys literally puts a human face on the ordinary men of the expedition, the ones who never wrote memoirs or had journals that were preserved for posterity. Men who have been largely forgotten by history, who don’t get the same reverence we give the captains, who don’t get memorials or landmarks in their names. When thinking of the men of the Franklin Expedition setting sail for their destiny, it’s easy to see Torrington on deck—alive, his striped shirt billowing in the wind as they sail toward Lancaster Sound—and to imagine that these were working ships, fully manned with ordinary people who led regular lives and had dreams of what they would do when they returned home to double pay and the fame of having helped discover the Northwest Passage.

But on January 1, 1846, those dreams winked out for one of those men. On this day, I think not about how well Torrington’s body has defied time and decomposition, but about who sat with him as he passed. Was he alone? Did he have friends on the crew? And what of his family back home? Did they toast him and his journey, not knowing that he was gone?

Who said a prayer for John Torrington 174 years ago?

If it’s not too late, I think I’ll say one for him today.

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Torrington Series Masterlist

[toongrrl-blog]

Tag Team

And it goes a little something like this...

Tagged by @storybookwolf

1. Top four ships

Peggy Olson and Stan Rizzo (Mad Men)

IMO they are the modern adaptation of Lizzy Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy from Pride & Prejudice not Bridget Jones and Mark Darcy. I liked that this brainy short brunette found love with the big lug she knew well without sacrificing her individuality or changing a big part of her appearance or her falling all over him.

Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers (Stranger Things)

There are some pretty great couples from the show but I really need to keep this list of four couples with some variety. Nancy and Jonathan could be a teenage, small Indiana town update to Stan and Peggy. She’s a petite brunette with blue eyes trying to explore her sexuality and buck against a patriarchal system that dismisses her and abandoned her red haired friend (Barb and Joan), she also dares to get messy and sometimes a bit unlikable, following the lead of the men around her (while Peggy has the very messy Don Draper, Nancy has Murray Bauman); Jonathon, like Stan, is a stud muffin who’s good with kids, loves his younger brother figure (Stan’s cousin who dies in Vietnam), and a photographer and his own style that sets them apart from the other preps in their Izods and Calvin Klein knock offs (or rather for Stan, the sports coats and ties). 

Yorkie and Kelly (Black Mirror)

I am not a regular viewer of the show but I fell in love with tributes and pics and decided to give this episode a viewing, which got me entranced. The duo, with a nerdy redhead and a flashy brunette who loves bright colors, reminds me of my own OC couple Molly and Gayle. The episode even grapples with the idea of togetherness in the afterlife especially if you have a second mate. Or differing philosophies and what comes when you fall for someone the opposite of you. 

Helen and Jake Morgendorffer (Daria)

Your typical professional, middle-aged Baby Boomers with two teenagers have been through a lot prior to the series: she grew up with a mother who unconsciously (?) pitted her against her two other sisters, he grew up with an abusive father who mistreated him and sent him to military academy, they got involved with the counterculture of the late 1960s and 1970s (she got arrested and he survived Altamont), she had to work and go to grad school in a patriarchal setting while he was slaving under a horrible boss, Beavis and Butthead were their neighbors... They start out the series with a marriage that looks like it has seen better days where he is a whiny wimp and she’s a careerist bitch that doesn’t care about him. That was the surface image: one has to understand that they have seen each other at their worst, she learned how to deal with his rants about his horrid deceased father, he knows how to mediate between the wants and needs of his daughters and what their mother thinks they should have, she actually does care for him despite his eccentricities and issues (least of which is a hideous candle he made for their wedding), and he supports her as a career woman and her own individual. It also helps that they raised two iconic sisters with their own brand of wit.

2. Last Song I Listened To:

“Heaven Is A Place On Earth” Belinda Carlisle

3. Last Movie I Saw:

Like A Boss (and it’s pretty cool and passes the Bechdel Test and doesn’t end with a romance)

4. Reading Right Now:

China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan. He’s the modern Jane Austen, hands down.

5. What food are you craving right now?

Pork Tonkatsu Ramen

I Tag: @samsylviasmoustache @nancykali @gayblackgurl @scoops-ahoy-troop @jancys-blue-bayou @art-and-hearts @elastigale @themikewheelers @share-the-damn-bed