#incorrect toa

[simpingforpjo]

Me writing incorrect quotes and headcanons that make no sense if we take canon into consideration:

[do-not-call-me-sunshine]

Nico: I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.

Will: You’re like 15 years old

Nico: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!!!

[starrrrr-dreeeeam]

he really said

[pjotwitter]

[curiouslymyown]

The Lost Hero

Readers: Who the fuck is Jason?

Jason: idoNTKNO W

[halfblood-hero]

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Percy: Death penalty.

Jason, from the gallery: Percy, it’s just a parking ticket.

Percy, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

[applecidersstuff]

Sally *on the iris massage*: Percy did you take your sister to camp again? We have discussed this before, it’s unsafe for her there and-

Percy: Mom, hold on, I don’t have Estelle, I left her with Paul

Paul *peeking into the room*: I had to go run an errand, but one of Percy’s friends came by and volunteered to watch Estelle until Sally was back. I thought you put her down for a nap

Sally *panicking*: Paul, none of Percy’s friends are in town! It’s the summer, all of them are at camp! Who did you give our daughter to?!

Coach Hedge *bursts into cabin 3*: Jackson! I lost my son, we’re scouting the camp, I need you to check in the lake

Percy:

Sally:

Paul:

***

Clarrise *across town*: Do you guys think I should’ve told your parents where we went?

6 y.o. Chuck and Estelle *Clarrise stole took them for ice cream*: *simultaneously shake their heads*

[the-goddess-of-gays]

I need a fic where Nico attempts to explain his sexuality to Hazel without realising that she's even more bewildered by modern-day terminology than he is

Nico: Hazel... I'm gay. Hazel: Are you sure? Because you seem kind of depressed, actually. Nico: Nico: Hazel–

some similar conversations would include:

Percy: There's no excuse for homophobia! Hazel: Why would you be afraid of homo sapiens? Percy: ??? Piper: Hey, Hazel, are you queer? Hazel: Well, I'm a demigod. Of course I'm queer. Piper: *meant lgbtq* ...what? Hazel: *meant weird/peculiar* What? Frank: Hazel, you're an ally, right? Hazel: *offended* Did you think I might be a Nazi? Frank: What? No, I– Hazel: Are you a Nazi?! Frank: No! No, of– Hazel: *dramatically swoons*

[luh-lloyd-garmadone]

Percy: It’s dark as fuck in here, anyone got a flashlight ?

Nico: Yeah , hang on

Nico:*picks Will up, cracking his back *

Will:

Will: *starts to glow*

Percy : 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀

[minty-mythos]

Annabeth: I’m having a midlife crisis, and I’m only 25!

Percy: Rookie numbers dude, I had mine at 15.

Everyone: ...

Percy: You will not, under any circumstances, catch me living past 30.

[mysterylilycheeta]

Leo: Do you want to see a butterfly? Jason: Yes Nico, Piper, and Annabeth: NO! Leo: *throws the butter across the table* Percy: Fucking majestic

[simpingforpjo]

Apollo: make it as manly as possible. I want to show everyone how manly I am

Nail tech: *holding up the glittery pink colour nail polish he picked* sure-

[do-not-call-me-sunshine]

Piper: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Leo: It’s not a joke.

Leo: *sniffles*

Leo: I’m a legit snack.

[aficionadoenthusiast]

percy: annabeth, come play soldiers with me

annabeth, fake chuckling: silly percy, it's not playing soldiers if we are soldiers

percy, with an over exaggerated knee slap and laughter: of course! how could i forget, we're literally child soldiers!

both: *glares at gods*

[pjotwitter]

[poppitron360]

Annabeth: [bedraggled, half-dead, deranged grin, eye bags, contemplating homocide]

Percy: That's my fucking wife! That, right there, is my wife and I love her so much!!