#incorrectd&dclasses

[multifandom-carnage]

I cackled at this

Fighter: *throws a paper away in the trash*

Druid: *out of nowhere* SAVE THE TREEEEEEES!! *tackles Fighter*

Fighter: *high pitched screaming*

[dndclassesquotes]

Paladin: Can you do something for me?

Rogue: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it.

Paladin: Can you do the dishes?

Rogue: *already leaving the room* No.

[dndclassesquotes]

Fighter: I live for two reasons.

Monk: And those would be?

Fighter: I was born and I haven't died yet.

[dndclassesquotes]

Sorcerer: This Halloween I’m going as a disappointment to my family.

Rogue: At least you won’t have to buy a costume.

[dndclassesquotes]

Warlock: If I die my funeral is gonna be the Biggest F*cking Party and you're all invited.

Paladin: 'If'?

Wizard: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die!

[dndclassesquotes]

Fate may be in the hands of the gods, but these hands of god are about to throw down! ~Paladin

[dndclassesquotes]

Bard: I accidentally ate Barbarian’s leftovers. How long do you think I’ll live?

Rogue: Ten.

Bard: Ten what?

Barbarian, entering the room: Nine.

[dndclassesquotes]

Wizard: What are you doing out this late?

Rogue: Well, we-

Wizard: Five words or less.

Barbarian: *counting on their fingers* We. Had. A. Fight.

Wizard: ...

Barbarian: Bitch.

[dndclassesquotes]

Paladin: Who's the Leader here, me or you?

Paladin: Wait, it's me?

Paladin: Shit.

[dndclassesquotes]

Bard: There's only three ways to do this. The right way, the wrong way, and the Bard way.

Fighter: Isn't that just the wrong way?

Bard: Yeah, but it's faster.

[dndclassesquotes]

Cleric: You were stabbed, do you remember anything?

Fighter: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Cleric: There wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Fighter: But- I heard sirens...

Cleric: That was Bard.

Bard: Sorry, I was nervous.

[dndclassesquotes]

Sorcerer: Honestly, I'm just so evil. So full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living, I strike fear into-

Cleric: Sorcerer, you sleep with a teddy bear.

Sorcerer: He's my secOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

[dndclassesquotes]

Artificer: Scientists can now turn stress into energy!

Rogue:

(https://interestingengineering.com/scientists-can-now-transform-stress-into-electricity)

[dndclassesquotes]

Cleric: Hey Warlock, did you know that all words ending in -ie are sweet, like cookie and cutie-

Warlock: and Die.

Cleric: ...

Cleric: No Warlock.

[dndclassesquotes]

Druid: *sits the Party down* It's time you learned about the birds and the bees.

Party: *looking panicked*

Bard: Druid, n-

Druid: They're dying at an alarming rate!

[dndclassesquotes]

Wizard: Barbarian doesn't have a life plan. They don’t have a day plan. I once found a note they wrote to themself that said ‘Put on pants.’

Wizard: It was followed by a question mark.