#suspend disbelief

[kitsuragied]

ok i got caught up so here's my take on a volcano instrumental + shitty guitar rendering done online

its apparent i have no musical talents so just imagine that on electric guitar if you would

[elftwink]

if you're about to get top surgery, you may hear a voice in your head telling you to make a joke about getting something off your chest even though it's overplayed. im here to let you know it's your imperative and sacred duty to not only make the joke but to tell it to every person you talk to. and that you are right it would be funny as fuck. this is not sarcastic if you tell enough people one of them will have never heard it before and also it's still funny to every person who has heard it listen to me this is a once in a life time opportunity— [i start getting dragged out by the palace guards] commit to the bit!!! if you don't you'll forever wish you had!! heed my warning or forever suffer the cons— [castle door slams shut behind us]

[draconym]

Live theater in the His Dark Materials universe must be wild. Surely an actor's daemon also has lines to recite, so their daemon's form probably also factors into casting decisions. Maybe some plays have vague character descriptions for daemons, but I bet other plays have really specific or central daemon characters. And sure, big-budget theaters can afford to hire a separate actor with a particular daemon to stand backstage while their daemon plays its part onstage, but community theaters don't have those kinds of resources.

Like if you're casting for Julius Caesar, surely the real historical Caesar had a pretty iconic daemon, right? Are you going to cast an actor with a pigeon daemon as Caesar and just have everyone suspend their disbelief that it's Caesar's lioness, ἁμαρτία?

[revengeromance]

*ru paul voice* and say hello to our extra special guest judge, the SLAYYYvior of the broken, the beaten, and the GLAMMED, Gerard Way!

gerard:

[alinalal-art]

dark hour

Shop || Patreon

[beescake]

back in the day we had pantskat

now we have sagg sollux

[kiss-inthekitchen]

favorite insomniac | spencer reid

a little warm-up exercise i just finished <3 you can't sleep, so you decide to call the only other person you know who would be awake at this hour. ~500 words

You don’t get insomnia. Usually, you fall asleep quickly and easily, and then devolve into any number of nightmares or vivid dreams or somethings that cause to you wake up feeling like you hadn’t slept at all. 

Obviously not great. But not insomnia.

Tonight, however, is not a usual night.

You roll over once again, after what feels like hours but is probably only twenty minutes of lying as still as possible and trying to will your body to be tired. You check the time on your phone; 3:14 AM. 

Ugh. You have to be at work in less than 6 hours, awake in less than 5. Closer to 4, if you want to actually look presentable. 

You groan, scrubbing your hands over your face and barely resisting the urge to start punching your pillows. 

And then you give up. 

There’s one insomniac you know who’s got a pretty good chance of being awake right now. You've dialed the number before you can even think about it. The line rings once, and you realize what an inappropriate, quite possibly disrespectful choice this had been. You’re about to hang up, hovering over the red button, when you hear him. 

“Hey,” he says, voice raspy. 

Oh god, oh god. “Please tell me I didn’t wake you up.” 

“No,” Spencer chuckles bitterly, “You didn’t. What’s wrong?” 

“I can’t sleep?” 

His eyebrows raise halfway to his hairline. “So you called me?” 

You and Spencer are coworkers. You’re friends. You just don’t really hang out much outside of work and work-related events. Not that you haven’t wanted to, you just… don’t really know how. Or if you should. Or if it would be particularly smart. 

“I’m so sorry. I figured if anyone was liable to be awake right now, it’d be… I wasn’t thinking. I’ll let you go, I’m–” 

“Hey, it’s alright,” he says, amused. You’re the only person he ever gets the opportunity to calm down; he’s usually the most nervous person in the room. “This doesn’t usually happen to you though, does it?” 

“No,” you huff, flopping back against your pillows. “I’d ask you for tips, but whatever you’re doing clearly isn’t working.” 

“That’s nice.” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“No, you’re not wrong.” 

You make a self-satisfied little “hmph” sound. 

“What did you call me for then?” 

Something in the timbre of his voice makes your heart speed up. “I don’t know, human connection across the ether that is 3 AM?” The sense that you’re the only two people in the universe. The sound of his voice. Not that you could say that part out loud.

“Wanna go for a drive?”

Huh? “Wh– We have work in, like, 5 hours.” 

“Oh, you haven’t been counting, have you?”

“You mean like thinking ‘if I fall asleep right now at this moment I could get 5 hours of sleep’ but then I still don’t fall asleep and I watch the minutes go by until it’s only 4 and a half hours and then I get angry at myself for being awake and then I’m somehow even more awake?” 

He chuckles, dark and rich through the phone. “The classic trap. Never count the hours.” 

“Now you tell me.” 

“Alright,” he grunts, and you hear him shuffling around, “I’m picking you up.”

“You're what?!"

"I'm picking you up," his voice lilts up, almost like a question. But not like he's asking for permission, more like he's teasing you. Like he knows your answer anyway.

"Now? You have a car?” 

“Yes, now. And yes, I have a car,” you hear jingling on the other end. “You’re gonna like it.”

[morally-gray101]

when neil was going to save andrew at the hemmick's house, he knew exactly what kind of wood the door was, and how easy it would be to break through. that's what kind of guy he is. neil doesn't win fights, but he is damn good at a getaway. this is a really good example about how all of neil's knowledge is really selective because of his upbringing. we need more survivalist neil because he shows all these traits in the books, another example is when he hitchhiked from columbia to palmetto. please stop ignoring this because i want to see batshit insane neil on the run fics right now thx

[tubbytarchia]

Somewhere in the woods, a moth tires of seeking light

[son1c]

sonic isn’t keen on being underwater, and bermuda isn’t keen on dealing with sonic’s hydrophobia. so, when the respirators aren’t enough to set sonic’s mind at ease, bermuda takes desperate measures-- he sings to him.

this song isn’t like the rest, though... this time, it’s a soothing melody.

[canisalbus]

So you've said before that regular dogs don't exist in Machete + Vasco's universe, since they're all anthropomorphized dogs. (Geez that's a big word–) But does that apply to all canines? Do normal wolves, coyotes, foxes, etc. still exist, or are they completely gone? Or did they become anthro, too?

Hehe sorry, I love worldbuilding and I'm too curious for my own good lol

Correct, four-legged domestic dogs don't exist because they have evolved to fill the role of 'people' in their universe.

Humans are absent and never existed.

Wild canines exist, but they're not anthropomorphic, they're the same as in our world. Dogs recognize wolves/coyotes/foxes etc. are similar to them in some ways, but view them as lesser creatures (similarly to how people see or have seen apes and monkeys) and typically have no qualms about hunting them. (Eventually dog Darwin will publish his controversial theory about anthro dogs and quadrupedal wolves sharing a common ancestor).

The rest of the animal kingdom is the same. Dogs have human diets (with slight emphasis on meat) and raise livestock for food, and keep cats, birds, rodents and other domestic animals as pets.

[extrajigs]

NEW ALIEN LETS GOOO. This time these are fellas living within the iron clouds of a gas giant.

They're quite large, think building sized, and spend most of their time floating through the cloud layers feasting upon the microscopic critters in the air around them. They catch their food in the fronds of their feeding arms before passing them through their looong mouth. I don't know if this is plausible but I think I'm going to cut their planet into two main sections, a super heated sky of gaseous metals and then a small compact core. Wanted them to be in a position to breathe iron instead of oxygen, if they came into contact with our atmosphere they would rust from the inside out. But on their planet they are happily bobbing around in the sky as if weightless. It just works.

These fellas are gunna be in the same universe as my pentapods, I think the theme is going to be 'planet bound societies interacting via space junk left over from another fallen civilization'. So whereas pentapods are planetlocked because of having no access to actual ground materials, these fellas are more so bound by the extremes of their habitat.

[kangaruthi]

harrow from semi-charmed kinda life which i love

[0809sysblings]

ok just thought of the FUNNIEST fucking concept.

so the prisoners hear what we say about them. what if it's always the language the comment was in? so theyd hear Japanese comments as Japanese and then hear English comments as English, etc.

Shidou can speak English, and the other prisoners somehow learn this information as well. he becomes the go-to person to get a translation whenever a prisoner hears a voice in English.

Fuuta: yo Shidou. can you translate these? i wrote them down when i heard them last night. Shidou: oh yes of course *takes the paper* The paper: "king got cancelled for his Twitter crimes" "he's so transgender and for what" "he's so pathetic i want to put him in a blender" Shidou: Fuuta: ... well??? Shidou: sorry just... give me a moment to collect my thoughts

Kazui: Shidou-kun, i know you're busy, but ah.... would you mind translating these for me? for some reason i haven't been able to get them out of my head... here i wrote them down Shidou: oh sure, Mukuhara-san, i've got time *takes the paper* The paper: "he is NOT beating the allegations" "ohhh so he's just gay" "old man yaoi" "hes not that old stop saying 'old man yaoi'" Shidou: ............. if you could just give me some time to take a closer look at these later...

[cheekinpermission]

At least Lilia won't have to suffer this betrayl for much longer

...

Too soon?

[almightyshadowchan]

SNSmonth Day 22: Making Out

A scene from my fic Sunspots 🤗 (in which our ninja heroes manage to trip and fall into each other’s pants during a fake dating mission at a nightclub)

I really meant to post this weeks ago (y’know, during actual snsmonth) but better late than never, right? Right??