#ineffable poly

[strophalosx3]

This is nonsense, because no... long live the ineffable poly 🤭

[ghoulie-67-baby]

Behaviour - Good Omens.

Summary: When you misbehave, Crowley dishes out the punishment and Aziraphale takes care of you afterwards.

Warnings: Masturbation (mentions), Punishment, spanking, sobbing, bad language, manhandling (ish), aftercare, cum denial (mentioned), Dom!Crowley, SoftDom!Aziraphale, Subfem!reader.

Pairing: Ineffable husbands x fem!reader.

Word count: 1,666.

"Crowley, that is not fair!" I whined as he flung me over his shoulder. "It's not my fault. Put me down!"

"What's not your fault? The fact that you can't follow rules?" He growled, arms tight around my thighs, as he settled a swat on the back of my thighs. "That sounds like your fault to me." I kicked my legs out as he carried me upstairs to our shared room. Aziraphale made sure to close the shop as I was carried away, knowing he would be needed afterwards.

I had been caught in the back room, legs spread over the arms of Aziraphale's reading chair, fingers buried inside myself with my head thrown back in pleasure. My eyes had been squeezed closed and I hadn't noticed I'd been caught until Crowley's growl sounded through the room. I was quickly stopped mid-task as he hauled my ass off the chair and warned the Angel of what had happened, luckily nobody was in the shop, and pulled me away. In my defence, he had been teasing me all morning whenever he had the chance and I was getting seriously desperate.

Air was knocked from my lungs as the Demon threw me on the silken sheets and rolled up his shirt sleeves before seating himself on the edge of the bed. My eyes widened slightly as I recognised the glint in his eyes and curled my legs beneath my body in a poor attempt to squeeze my thighs together. His finger curled in a 'come here' gesture and I shivered slightly before crawling over to him. Stopping in front of him, I sat back on my heels rubbing my core against my heel as he glared at me, eyes glittering in the light of the room.

"You just can't help yourself can you?" He chuckled darkly, noticing the slight movement of my hips. "I was only going to give you 10 spanks but now you've earned 20 for being pathetic and touching what doesn't belong to you." I stopped my movement and shook my head, heart pounding in anticipation. My disagreement was ignored as he dragged me over his lap, letting me get comfortable before flipping my skirt up, my underwear being yanked down and palming at the flesh of my ass. Before he could begin, the Angel walked in, book in hand and water bottle in the other, taking a seat in the armchair across the room and opening his pages, ready for when he was needed. The two had an agreement when it came to punishments; Crowley would be the one to hand them out, physically, and Aziraphale would do aftercare and make sure I was settled and taken care of.

"Azira'," I whimpered as my eyes met his. "Please."

"Take your punishment well, then we can cuddle, my dear. You know you've done wrong, be a good girl now." I nodded with a whine, clutching the Demon's trouser leg as I wrapped my arms around his leg in a tight brace.

"I'll keep count, be good." The Demon seemed to have calmed a little but still intended to carry out the punishment. The silence was almost suffocating as Aziraphale switched his focus back to the book and Crowley rested his spare hand over my back to keep me still. Another few seconds passed before his hand came down to smack across my backside with a crack. My body jolted forward in shock as I yelped in response, grip tightening on the Demon's leg. This was going to be a long 20 spanks.

It didn't take long for the tears in my eyes to start dripping down my cheeks as he alternated between each cheek and the flesh where my thigh met my ass so I would feel it when I sat down.

The fifth spank had me gasping at the feeling, holding back cries of pain, scrambling against his jeans as a means to ground myself.

The 15th had me babbling through my broken sobs, tears streaming down my cheeks as I rested my head on his leg, repeating how sorry I was. The hand Crowley had on my back rubbed small circles on my skin but it did nothing to make me feel better.

"Hush now Darling, not long to go now." He tried to soothe but I just whined in discomfort as he brought his hand back down on my red raw ass. Every so often, Aziraphale would look up from his book, eyes on my face first before looking down at my aggravated skin and shifting in his seat. If I wasn't so upset I would be happy that the sight of me being punished had turned him on but the sting in my butt pulled that feeling away.

Sobs racked my body as Crowley's last 4 spanks seemed to last hours, the sound cracking through the room until my skin was on fire from the handprints that now bruised it. As he finished, a soft hand rubbed the small of my back watching as I winced despite not being touched where I was sore. My cries didn't die down even though he had stopped and blurry eyes met Aziraphale's as he knelt in front of me.

"Shh, You're all done now Darling," Crowley lifted me from his lap, pressing a kiss to my head as I rested on his chest.

"All done now." I whimpered against his shirt, burying my face away from their eyes as I tried to slow my cries. "M'sorry, won't do it again." I babbled.

"Come on now Love, Let's get you sorted out." Aziraphale's voice drifted into my ear softly as he took my hand and guided me up from Crowley's lap. The fuzziness in my head clouded everything around me as I stumbled to the Angel's chair. I stood in front of him as he took the seat, patting his lap as a sign for me to sit with him and I sniffled as I complied. With my legs on either side of him, I hiccuped and rubbed the tears from my eyes with balled-up fists. "No baby let's clean your face properly." He tutted as he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the teary streaks off my face, holding it to my nose as he noticed my sniffling. "Blow your nose, Love." I scrunched my nose up in uncertainty before doing as he said, not wanting to get in trouble again. Not an ounce of disgust flashed across his face and I relaxed a little more at the thought of my disgusting human habits not bothering my Angelic Dom.

"Angel, plenty of this today." Crowley walked past, placing a tub of aloe moisturiser on the arm of the chair, pressing a kiss to my head before leaving our Angel to settle me. "Be good Darling." I nodded before, playing with Aziraphale's bowtie as he popped open the tub.

"Lay forward love, let's get you fixed up." I bit my lip as I did, laying against the Angel, head in the crook of his neck, waiting for the cold cream to make contact with my hot skin. I winced as it came and pressed my body closer to him to get away from it but his spare hand held my hip steady so I couldn't move away. "Hush dear, you'll feel better soon and then you can nap." I whimpered but listened, nibbling my lip as he rubbed my cheeks, pressing the occasional kiss to my head.

It didn't take too long for him to finish but by the time he had, small tears dripped out of my eyes from the feeling but he was right; I did feel better now the gel cooled down my skin and new bruises. He wiped my face once more, wordlessly, before I pushed my lips against his, needing a bit of comfort and sensation other than pain. The Angel didn't hesitate to kiss back and rubbed his thumb over the skin on my hip before holding the water bottle in front of me. He placed a straw in the top before pressing it to my lips and nodding encouragingly. At first, I started with small sips which soon turned to quick gulps as I realised how thirsty I actually was. The hiccuping sobs made it harder to drink but I pushed through it until Aziraphale began to tut at me.

"Slow down, you'll make yourself sick dearest, you don't have to rush. It isn't going anywhere." He reassured me, pulling the straw away and placing the bottle on the table beside him as I gulped at the air instead, out of breath from drinking so fast. We waited until my breathing slowed down, shuddering softly as I calmed down. I whimpered as I recognised the feeling of his bulge beneath me, letting my hips slide over it gently, wanting to make him happy. The Angel took in a sharp breath, grip on my waist tightening as he held me still. "No Love, you need to rest."

"No, need t'make you feel good Azira," I whimpered, trying to loosen his grip without any luck. "Let me make it better, let me help you." My words were slurred as tiredness and subspace set in, quickly fogging my head as they mixed together. The Angel shook his head softly, pulling my head to his chest as I lay on his chest.

"It's okay dear, I know you're too far gone to understand." He cooed, "Don't worry, I feel better when you cuddle me and nap Love." I nodded into his chest, nuzzling against him as he miracled a blanket for me. As the material was wrapped around me, I hummed in contentment, letting my eyes flutter shut and holding onto his shirt as he pulled his book out to read whilst I slept. The headspace I was in helped me fall asleep rather quickly but not before he kissed my cheek, muttering to me.

"Get some sleep now love, good girl."

[ineffable-ezra]

They should legalise polygamy and marrying fictional characters so I can marry Crowley and Aziraphale

[chocourse]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 (𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓈𝓃𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈 𝒹𝑜)

➶ poly! ineffable husbands x angel! fem!reader ｡˚ °

-ˏ` ✎﹏ The Egyptians built one of the seven wonders of the world, the Greeks discovered philosophy, but make-up was invented by a desperate angel during the construction of the Tower of Babel, when people spoke the same language and wanted to settle in a city after the great flood. That angel was you. And you really needed the make-up when the first bite happened.

➴ genre: fluff, polyamory, falling in love

: ̗̀➛ warnings: references to christian religion & lore, fashion and make-up lore, love bites/hickeys, mentions of snake poison, corruption i think

⌨ :: 2.2K words ♡ ︵ . .

⁀➷ special thanks to @honeytwo for helping me translate this into english, correcting my grammar and other mistakes. thank you for everything! °♡̷•.

⁀➷ a/n: Hi, dears! I am happy that I took the time to publish this story here after Ao3. I wrote it in January when I watched Good Omens and was looking for comfort after bawling my eyes out. Alright, that's all I wanted to say. Go and enjoy your unique history with the ineffable husbands! <3

➳ good omens masterlist

A FAIRLY LONG TIME AGO

As much as possible, you wanted to blend in with the people. You were too attracted by their nature to spend the rest of your time until Armageddon up there, among snow-white washed columns, in empty halls where nothing really interesting happens. You can deliver the reports even if you’re living on Earth and watching the humans work, you reassured yourself.

You've enjoyed watching the mortals ant-like, feverishly at work, creating wonders like the Tower of Babel.

“Upon my word, what a masterly job,” said Aziraphale, when the tower was already very high.

Aziraphale agreed with you about your intentions on earth, and you used to talk about the exciting things people can do and how exciting it will be to learn about their work and future generations.

When you were particularly engrossed in reciting your predictions, and explaining them to each other with sparkling eyes, Crowley would just roll his eyes and do it with relish, as if it was his natural reaction to your enthusiasm. He decided he'd rather be with the two of you instead of in the company of damned souls and stake-ridden demons when there was no one to tempt and lead into sin. It wasn't boring at all, especially with the fairs they held back then, the intoxicating people, the musical instruments, the delicious food. 

His favorite events were the celebrations. When the men working on the tower would take a break from work and gather in town to drink and sing. They fanned his fire, his desire to do something underhanded. Not evil, just something genuinely bad. Like what he did to the apples and Eve at the tree.

He thought deeply about the ways in which he could make others sin. That's when he heard you laugh. You were amazed at what Aziraphale had said. You sipped flushedly into your alcohol jar. You weren't wearing your halo or spreading your wings, but you looked just like an angel. Beautiful, ethereal, uncorrupted, even when you were indulging in human pleasures and getting drunk at an easy pace.

Bingo.

Crowley smiled, his eyes gleaming under his black sunglasses. He headed towards you.

“Did you try everything?” he asked.

“The dates are heavenly ,” Aziraphale agreed, putting another piece in his mouth. “You must try one, Crowley.”

“I will,” the demon promised. “Later. But first, I'm going to taste something that's inviting to my imagination…”

His fingers brushed over your shoulder. His fingertips touched your sensitive skin, then...

“Ow !" you squeaked in surprise as he sank his canines into the exposed skin of your neck. 

When an angel wants to fit in with humans, she can't walk around with a snake-bitten neck like she's fine. So you tried to use a miracle to make it disappear, but as it turns out, miracles don't work on demonic bites, which is kind of unfair, but part of the Incomprehensible Plan, so you had to resort to some other method, without blaming the Almighty for creating the demon bite the way it is.

You used paint to cover it up. It was the first make-up experiment in history. Cleopatra will use your method in dark red, but it will be a long time before then, your injury will heal and heal many times over.

In any case, Crowley grinned as he watched you walk around for weeks, neck covered in paint. He was very pleased with himself, and you often caught him looking at you with his yellow snake eyes, grinning like he was planning to do it again.

When God confused the tongues of men, you were grateful to Him. 

Now, you could send the demon to Hell in countless languages.

IN THE 16TH CENTURY

Garbo.

Garbos everywhere.

Lace, frills, colours, fancy fabrics. You were very fond of the English Renaissance under Queen Elizabeth I. Mainly because of the full turtlenecks, which usually covered your neck magnificently. You could even forgive the low-cut dresses and corsets - although when silk scarves came along, looking back, the wide turtlenecks you once wore would have looked like clown costumes.

It was further satisfying to know that Crowley hated rules by default, let alone about fashion. He really despised the Sumptuary Laws, and cursed that he hadn't invented them, because they were truly demonic. In contrast, Aziraphale, who always put a lot of effort into his appearance, was fine with the expected attire, and always looked elegant with a pleasant smile. 

Sometimes, though, his smile faltered when his turtleneck grazed the bite marks on his neck. You stroked his upper arm sympathetically at such times, and yet: neither of you told Crowley to stop what he was doing on your necks.

You had no problem with early medieval times. The tight, plain dresses were simple and, importantly, the neck was not visible, only the back of the hands and the face, and after marriage, the hair - not that you married, it was just the fashion among married women. On the other hand, the pale ideal of the early Middle Ages, when women had blood drained to make them white as doves, was disappointing. Then came arsenical powders, the cause of many women's deaths. At the time, you were ashamed of inventing make-up, and so women wanted to tamper with their natural beauty with all sorts of talc fads. You have to suffer to be beautiful, they said, and they didn't realize that there was no need for any suffering because they were beautiful from creation.

Your determination was only further strengthened when it was discovered that Elizabeth I died of blood poisoning from using white lead on her face. And you thought the sixteenth century would bring radical changes…

Actually, there has been a radical change, but not in make-up.

Crowley invented the suction mark, which didn't swell up like a snake venom-infused wound and came in a variety of colours depending on how much time Crowley put into creating them. They made him feel like an artist, so he liked to tinker with them. He'd been paying devoted attention to your necks for a very long time, so you're actually used to it, it's become a tradition. 

In fact, you both kind of loved it.

IN THE 19TH CENTURY

The rice powder is made from natural ingredients. We're finally back here, you peacefully acknowledged at every social gathering. Usually you only powdered the back of your neck, but richly. The fashions of the 1800s called for ruffles, corsets, a relatively modest neckline, no turtlenecks or neck-covering. But a thorough, ornate make-up look was something every self-respecting woman had to create, and because you only covered your neck, you were often the victim of gossip.

When Aziraphale opened his bookshop and held a small gathering to celebrate with champagne, snacks and a ball, the ladies whispered a great deal about you, hiding behind their fans. They sized up your clothes, your make-up, yourself. They guessed how much of a goer you must be. It made them angry that even though you don't wear normal makeup, men still seek your company because you're witty and good, not jealous like them.

Crowley was annoyed by the women who belittled you, the men who complimented you, the fact that you had been hiding the fact that you were his for centuries. Just like Aziraphale, only he didn't seem as desperate as you to cover his marks. Although his top hat usually shaded them well, where it was appropriate to remove the headgear, nothing covered them.

Aziraphale looked at Crowley more and more often as if he knew perfectly well what the marks meant, just as he knew that Crowley was a cruel, unrelenting demon and would not say it.

When Crowley asked you to stop covering your neck, he was actually saying it. With his eyes shining mysteriously in the moonlight through the window, when Crowley took off his glasses and all the guests had gone, leaving only the three of you and the empty glasses and the crumbs. 

Tenderness and love. This is what his words would have tasted like if you had eaten them.

It was the same way Aziraphale looked at you when you caught him gazing at you, silent and dreamy, or when you simply spoke to him enthusiastically about something that interested and excited you as people once did when the Tower of Babel was raised, and he listened patiently, as if he had nothing better to do.

When you said all right to Crowley with a smile, that meant you loved him, too. 

Them, too.

NOWADAYS

“Um, are you–” Gabriel furrows his eyebrows and tries to decipher you with a polite smile. “What is this?”

You're wearing the purest white, as befits a visit to Heaven. Obviously Gabriel would not object to that. He wears mostly white, with a faint hint of blue. What he can't make out is the fluffy white scarf wrapped tightly around your neck, right up to your nose. You stand before him like a polar bear with a neck brace. Or an almost completely covered, ethereal mummy. 

Or maybe a spool of toilet paper. 

You pull the material slightly in front of your mouth to answer. 

“I'm cold,” you report with a blush.

“It must be exciting.” Gabriel admits that you've probably spent too much time on Earth, among humans, and its somewhat dulled your angelic senses. He clears his throat. “Well, we can get down to business then, let's not waste each other's precious time.”

You nod. He is absolutely right.

In the empty, snow-white-plastered heavenly hall, a table, a folder and a pen with wings - not a bijou, strictly used for official signatures - appear. Sighing, you take a comfortable seat, and as you take the pen, you give thanks that now women can wear comfortable and practical pants too. 

And, you add with even deeper satisfaction, great scarves.

...

Ignoring the closed sign, you rip open the door and burst into the bookshop.

“Sorry, but we’re closed– Oh, it's you.” Aziraphale smiles a greeting, then notices the upset on your face. “What happened, darling?”

“It was embarrassing to show myself like this in front of Gabriel,” you reply as you begin to unravel the fuzzy covering around your neck.

Aziraphale pats your upper arm piteously, presses a kiss to your temple and promises to bring you a mug of hot chocolate to help you relax.

Long time ago you promised Crowley you wouldn't cover his marks, but when you meet your angelic bosses, it's a different story. If they find out what's between you and him, they'll make hell in heaven. That doesn't impress Crowley, especially not today. Before you left, he had so covered your neck with his special love marks that a simple scarf wouldn't have been enough to cover it. Especially since he's recently returned to biting.

You'll find him on the sofa at the back of the shop. He's got a real proud smile that makes you want to throw a scarf at him. You throw the scarf at him. He catches it easily.

"You little..." you grit your teeth.

“Idiot? Shit? Asshole? The lowest of demons? Bitter of your eternal life?” He's playing with the scarf. He doesn't look up, doesn't admire the colorful patchwork he's created on your neck. Even better. If he would do it, throwing a scarf at him would not be enough.

"Lovely sweet creature," you say in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Bleh.” Crowley scowls. “That's a thousand times worse than you swearing.”

“I know. That's why I do it.” You sit down in the armchair furthest away from him and continue to stare at him harshly.

He sighs.

“My love, you're too beautiful with my marks on your neck. I cannot help it. And every man should know those are mine. Even the angels up there.”

Except Aziraphale. He already knows full well that if the blobs on your skin were to be exhibited as paintings, the artist's name would clearly be Crowley.

And you know what these marks are called these days, and that makes you happy. You ask, a little more lightly, if he knows. Crowley shakes his head.

“Love bites,” you tell him.

“It's only natural that they call it that. I invented it, and for thousands of years you and Aziraphale have been the only ones to get it. What else could it be?” Crowley gets up, comes over to you and squats down in front of you, taking your hand in his. He’s not wearing his sunglasses. His eyes are vivid, the sky glowing yellow behind the black sliver of the moon. "It's not something I give as punishment or temptation. It is exactly what it is called. Humans are smart enough to give it such a good name.”

“Well, well, you're praising the humans.” Aziraphale arrives balancing a tray on the low coffee table next to his open book and a stack of newspapers.

“Have you heard what my creations are called?”

“I don’t think so.”

The demon tells him. The angel blushes and starts passing out mugs. Crowley admires him, then turns to you.

“Will you sit with me?”

Luckily for him, you're not overly resentful. You nod, and you’d be lying if you said you weren't warmed by the sight of his smile and his hand reaching out for yours. You end up on the soft couch, his arm around your shoulders, your hot chocolate in your hand.

And love bites on your neck.

[t0omanyfandoms]

What cuddling with aziraphale and Crowley would be like

This is really short, sorryyy

Do i need grammar for this? Yes or no? What makes it easier for y'all to read it?

Crowley would hold you in his arms spooning you from behind

You would lean back into his warm embrace as you hold the angel in your arms

Aziraphale would hold you back as well

You nuzzle your face into his chest as your arms are wrapped around him

Crowley runs his fingers through your hair muttering a soft "I don't hate you, never have, never will"

Aziraphale has that smile on his face that makes you just want to kiss him

you softly say "I love you guys, so much"

"I love you too, y/n" aziraphale softly speaks

Crowley presses soft kisses to the back of your head

Aziraphale gently kisses your forehead

They both love you so so much as you reciprocate those feelings to them with much love and affection

Aziraphale falls asleep first to which you gently kiss his cheek before leaning into Crowley's embrace and succumbing to sleep as well

Crowley wouldn't allow himself to fall asleep before you and aziraphale were safely asleep in his arms, one of his hands always rests on one of aziraphale's thighs as you're safely nestled between them so that Crowley will know if anything were to happen to you or aziraphale.

Aziraphale would keep you in his arms and one hand on Crowley's for the same reasons

The morning:

Aziraphale would wake first and get out of bed gently placing a soft kiss on both you and Crowley's foreheads before getting dressed and heading down to the kitchen and making breakfast for the three of you

Aziraphale then opens the book shop

Back with Crowley

You would eventually wake up before Crowley and would turn around in his arms placing a gentle kiss to his cheek

You then nestle into his chest and draw soft patterns on his chest as you listen to his soft snores

Crowley subconsciously tightens his grip around you

You eventually fall back asleep in his arms and after a while you and Crowley both wake up and go about your day with aziraphale...

[inbarfink]

The Character Designer Commentary for TGAA Chronicles mentioned that Kazuma was designed with a subtle snake-motif and, like, knowing the Kind of Person That I Am that really should fire up my Unstoppable Drive to Make Good Omens AUs but also I think the main thing that has always stopped me from making a TGAA-era Ineffable Husbands AU like I’m the ones working on for Wrightworth and Klapollo is that my attitude towards TGAA shipping is a lot less ‘oooh these two characters are totally my OTP, they make such a perfect duo!!’ and a lot more like ‘Hey, I’m Ryunosuke Naruhodo and this is my boyfriend Kazuma Asogi, and my other boyfriend Barok Van Zieks and his other boyfriend Albert Harebrayne, and my other boyfriend Herlock Sholmes, and his husband Yujin Mikotoba and-“

[ingravinoveritas]

Noticing some very interesting parallels between Georgia's Insta caption yesterday/Michael's tweet tonight vs. both of their respective social media posts from the night of the NTAs (when Michael presented David with an award) in 2021...

Then:

Now:

...Comments? Thoughts?

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

In goofy David Tennant/Michael Sheen Loud news, my husband stumbled upon an edit with David Tennant and Michael Sheen about how they’re In Love ® and he’s been solidly on the ‘Yeah, they’re prob fuckin’ train because of me & he was like, “I don’t get it, they’re not physically compatible at all, one is really skinny and the other is cherubic—“ and I was like bruh you literally described the one who plays an angel on TV as cherubic 💀 💀 💀 certifyibly Good ™️ casting big rare W to Neil Gaiman

[unabashednightmarepizza]

ೃ⁀➷WORK IN PROGRESS

ೃ⁀➷Harry Potter

We, Against The Whole World (Wolfstar x Reader)

I Will Rescue You( Charlie Weasley x GN!Reader)

ೃ⁀➷Shadow and Bone

Mother of Saints (Kanej x Healer!MoonSummoner!Reader)

P.S: This will be a series and not be uploaded until I write all the chapters

ೃ⁀➷Good Omens

Our World Is You( Ineffable Husbands x Witch!Merlin's descendant!Reader)

P.S: This will be a series that follows the plot of the series and won't be uploaded until I wrote 3 chapters

ೃ⁀➷Genshin Impact

I'll Take Care Of You (Baizhu)

Nothing Can Take Me Away (Albedo)

You Are More Than Enough (Furina and Egeria)

[the-fic-forestry]

Fandoms/Characters I Currently Write For

If a fandom or character is not on this list that you’d like to see, send in the ask anyway! I may have forgotten about them or could be convinced to write for them!

Current Request Number: 1

Gravity Falls

Older! Dipper Pines

Older! Mabel Pines

Stanley Pines

Stanford Pines

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

The League of Evil Exes

Total Drama

Good Omens

Poly! Ineffable Husbands

Overwatch

Critical Role

Candela Obscura

Batman

Batfamily (platonic)

Bruce Wayne

Dick Grayson

Jason Todd

Edward Nygma

Jonathan Crane

[somegay-aardvark]

Michael Sheen is literally just if sexual innuendo was a person

[beezabub]

[ineffable-ezra]

Hello there! With all of...this happening in the GO fandom, I just thought I'd share a few of my short fluffy oneshots with you all for some comfort (all rated g or t, with no archive warnings)

Platonic Aziraphale & autistic!Reader

Crowley and Aziraphale talking about boundaries and consent

Aziraphale/Crowley/Reader (poly relationship) sickfic

The ineffables stargazing

Crowley threatening Metatrash and being soft with Zira

Crowley and some women/enbys of Whickber street hanging out

Insecure!Aziraphale being comforted by Crowley

Genderfluid!Crowley rescuing kids from the flood and letting them braid her hair

I have more on my ao3 profile, but there's just a couple I thought you might enjoy in these trying times

[thedemonknownasbilly]

Howdy! I've got another poly AziraCrow x reader request for you, if you're interested

Ineffable husbands with a non-binary s/o who constantly gets misgendered and deadnamed during the holiday season since they're around family n stuff?

Ik its not malicious and it's out of habit but man, it's not great for dysphoria. Trying to disconnect myself from that so I don't hold it against anyone but. Idk. Sorry for rambling lol.

Sending love 💚

Their Name - Ineffable Husbands x GN!Reader

Boy, oh, boy this hit close to home. So basing a lot of the house descriptions/holiday traditions on my family.

Ineffable Husbands snapping at Reader’s family

He/Him for Aziraphale || She/He/They for Crowley

Great Room - the spare room usually adjacent to the living room, typically where the foyer enters into.

There was a lot you couldn’t tell your family. How your husbands were actually ethereal beings well over six thousand years old, how Aziraphale found a miracle that would help you to live forever alongside them, or how Crowley was the serpent they so often cursed in Sunday Service. But there was one thing you made crystal-fucking-clear, your name and gender identity. You came out as non-binary almost four years ago, telling your family how you wanted them to refer to you in only neutral terms.

You had met Aziraphale and Crowley a year after that, marrying them in secret two years later, just the past spring. Crowley had told you how they used all pronouns, so your favorite pastime was to call him your wife when using he/him pronouns. Aziraphale told you that he preferred he/him but wasn’t opposed to they/them if it was to put a bigot in place. That if he chose to present as a woman again for the first time in thousands of years then he would update such choices. Just a small family the three of you were.

Meeting them had been perfect for your mental health, you weren’t ready to date anyone, and a rainy day led to you stepping into the red and gold bookshop, with plants scattered about, books older than time itself, an angel and a demon running it. And they took you in without a second thought.

“Darling, you seem lost in thought,” Aziraphale broke you from your thoughts, your bottom lip sore from chewing it in stress. “What is it that troubles you?” You looked at him in the rear view mirror, smiling softly as you felt Crowley’s hand on your thigh.

“Just nervous, and feeling bad. I want to tell them about us, all three of us, and yet I’m too scared…” your family wasn’t the most open to anything outside of heteronormative, including polyamory unfortunately, leaving Aziraphale to be the “best friend/co-worker”, he had actually volunteered the title, saying it would look better for Crowley to be your husband since he appeared closer to your age than the white haired Angel did.

“Don’t fret, I know it’s not ideal, but we can pretend for one night.” Aziraphale reassured, his blue eyes seeming brighter despite the dim light in the Bentley.

“We’re here, love.” Crowley said, parking behind your uncle’s familar white SUV. “You two ready?” You looked over to Crowley and nodded, unbuckling and turning back in your seat to give Aziraphale his final kiss of the night.

Immediately you wanted to slink back into the Bentley when you heard a chorus of your deadname being yelled through the house, directing Aziraphale to the dessert table to place the Eccles cake while you set down the ancient wine bottle with the other drinks.

“This is Anthony,” you introduced your husband to your family, he was dressed in their gray button up with his red tie, black blazer and slacks. “And this is our dearest friend Azira.” Aziraphale was done up in his usual outfit except he traded out the faded waistcoat for a newer one.

“What a pity we couldn’t attend the wedding, but I suppose (s)he’s always done things his/her own way.” Your mom said, feigning innocence as your hand tightened on Crowley’s.

“Ah, yes, I suppose that’s what drew me to them. Their fierce determination.” Crowley glared slightly, a faux grin on her lips as they enunciated your pronouns. That was how the night would continue, both Crowley and Aziraphale determinedly trying to correct your family through their own speech.

“That’s it!” Aziraphale was the first to snap, seeing tears in your eyes as he sat across from you at the dining table, luckily the children were eating in the great room, the tv playing football flickered at his outburst. “I have absolutely had it with you lot misgendering them! They told you four years ago that they preferred gender neutral terms and informed you of their very legal name change, what is so hard to accept?”

When your mom went to speak, Crowley interrupted. “Nope, wrong answer there, see it’s not that hard, maybe in the beginning, to adjust, to try. But you lot never tried, did you? Instead our partner here is almost in tears, they were stressed about even coming, but unlike you all, they value you. And yes, I said our partner. Azira is not just a friend, in fact he’s as much their husband as I am.” Crowley rose from her chair and offered you their hand, which you gratefully took, letting him guide you out of the house with Aziraphale following behind you.

“I’m sorry, that was improper and I know that-” Aziraphale stammered out, feeling like he messed up but being cut off when you suddenly hugged him, laughing softly against his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare apologize, did you see their faces? That was so worth it, I have you two, and we’re a big enough family for me.” Aziraphale hugged you back tightly and kissed the side of your head, you felt Crowley press against your back, joining your hug and kissing Aziraphale.

“Happy Christmas, loves.”

“Happy Christmas, dear.”

“Happy Christmas, little devil.”

[weirdmorefics]

If you're comfortable with angst, can you write poly ineffable husbands with a human SO they've been with a very long time and is now succumbing to old age and dementia? (the time period is up to you!) I just think the idea of immortal/mortal lovers has so much room for angst and big raw emotions with stuff like that!

Death Comes for Us All

Aziraphale X Reader X Crowley

3rd person point of view

A/N- I do love writing angst! I can also tell this request is absolutely going to break me, but it's a very good idea so we are going to have a love-hate relationship now lol.

Reader Pronouns-They/Them

Word Count- 1.6 k

Summary- Crowley cannot accept the reader's fate, the reader does not even know their fate, and Aziraphale is the one thing keeping them steady.

Aziraphale and Crowley met Y/n on the same day it was however very unfortunate timing for Y/n. Timing has never been Y/n's strong suit in general but this day turned out to be particularly bad. Y/n had received intel about the location of multiple Nazis. Y/N had snuck in an hour prior to the trade deal time the informant had told them and hid behind a pew.

Y/n listened to the deal intently and took notes in shock that this whole deal was about books with prophecies you don't even know are true. It was a huge waste of money in their opinion but once the man in the pale coat handed over his books they pulled a gun on them. Y/n prepared to intervene when another British intelligent spy entered the scene which was even more confusing to them because they thought they were the only one assigned to the case it was strictly on a need-to-know basis.

She thanks the man for the introduction and the man says how she recruited him which can't possibly be true the agency just heard the intel three days ago!

He says the building is surrounded by British agents but we definitely do not have the force for that right most staying back and evacuating towns to prevent fewer bombing deaths.

He quotes an American saying, "Played for suckers." Y/n instantly facepalms. This gentleman has most certainly been conned. He starts shouting for people to start taking the group down and they'll start laughing and the man gasps in shock. Y/n rolls their eyes and starts to come out of their hiding spot to protect this sorry fool and hopefully get him out of here without any harm.

Y/n pauses with a look of utter confusion on their face as another man enters the scene hopping from foot to foot. The two men start to bicker like an old married couple.

"What a pity you both must die," one of the Nazi spies wickedly smirks.

Y/n scoffs at this why did these two civilians have to come to ruin my entire mission. Reluctantly Y/n stands up from behind the pew gun pointed, "You will not be killing any civilians today!"

Crowley smirks joyously and gushes, "They think we are regular civilians how quaint."

Y/n makes their way to the front of the church, "This ends now!" They turn back to the two men, "Get out of here I will hold them off."

The gullible man in the pale trenchcoat shakes his head, "Absolutely not!"

One of the Nazi men smile widely, "Agent L/n we had no idea we would get the pleasure of killing you as well tonight. I certainly would have made your death grander as a message to the other agents. Oh well too late now." He shrugs and points his gun at Y/n's face.

The strange babbling-jumping man seems excited to jump back into the conversation, "Speaking of a grand death!" He gestures his arms out widely, "In a few moments a bomb will be landing directly on this church but if you run very fast you may not die."

The man starts rambling about the unpleasantries of death and the opposing force looks at him with doubting glares. They argue about the bombs' location but Y/n just wants to get the civilians out and is getting progressively more annoyed.

Y/n points her gun at the ceiling and shoots a warning shot into the sky. Pieces of the ceiling and dust fall to the floor and all eyes are on them.

"Everyone out if you want to live! I will escort the peculiar civilians and you will leave us be or I'll shoot you before the bombs get to you first!"

The strange jumping man smiles, "Ooo they're feisty! I like them."

Y/n rolls their eyes and walks backwards keeping their eyes on the Nazis directing the odd pair out.

"My books," the man in the trench coat shouted.

"Quite an odd thing to be worried about when we are on the verge of being killed." Y/n sourly responds.

The jumping man seemed to look directly back at the other man, "Yes it would take a divine miracle to save us and the agent." The two seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes even though one was wearing sunglasses even though it was the middle of the night.

The agent assures them that they are protected and that they will get them out.

The jumping man looks up at the sky, "It's a little too late for that sweetheart."

With that last sentence a bomb falls upon to the church and Y/N tries to cover the civilians with their own body, knocking them to the ground just making the jumping man laugh. The church crumbles around them but Y/n finds themselves completely unharmed.

They jump to their feet in utter shock and stutter out, "H-how did you do that!"

"I think you are in shock darling. I am Aziraphale and this is Crowley. Are you all right?" The gullible one says expecting Y/n's face.

"I am fine! Especially for someone who should be dead! That bomb should have killed us all!" Y/n shouts pacing back and forth.

Aziraphale ignores the question, "I am quite glad that you are all right. It is such a shame about my books though."

Y/n starts laughing uncontrollably, "We just survived a bomb and you are worried about books!"

"I think you broke them, angel," he says sauntering over to a pile of rubble. He pulls the bag of books out of the hand of one of the dead men under the rubble, "A little demonic miracle of my own."

Aziraphale smiles brightly, "How nice!"

"Shut up!" Crowley groans. "No paperwork," he rationalizes and starts to walk away Aziraphale not far behind.

"Wait! You must tell me what just happened!" Y/n chases the two beings and never leaves their side after that night.

Sixty Years Later

Y/N, Crowley, and Aziraphale have been inseparable since they first met. They have had many dangerous adventures together and quiet nights reading and drinking hot cocoa. Crowley was befuddled at Y/N's stubbornness to protect them when they were the ones who were immortal. Aziraphale loved Y/n's stubbornness they were the only one who seemed to be able to beat Crowley in a game of wills. Y/n's stubbornness never seemed to fade with age, unfortunately.

Aziraphale pulled the curtains open, "Morning sunshine!"

Y/n tossed and turned but they did not wake up they kept mumbling. They seemed to be having a nightmare their forehead glistened with sweat. Aziraphale walked up to them and brushed Y/n's hair away from their face.

"I don't want to leave you," mumbled Y/n.

"It's alright, I'm here," Aziraphale whispered.

"I'm not ready," Y/n groaned.

"You don't have to get up darling, but I do think it is best you have something to eat or at least some tea." Aziraphale tries to bargain with Y/n.

Crowley enters and slowly takes his sunglasses off, "That's not what they mean angel." He puts his hand on Aziraphale's shoulder filled with sorrow.

"What are talking about Crowley? They will be fine once they wake, mornings are just the worst time for them." He rationalizes trying to avoid the obvious that Y/n is near death.

Crowley has been warning Aziraphale that he knew it was coming soon. As Y/n fell deeper and deeper into the memories of their long past together. Crowley longed to be stuck in those happy memories with Y/n and Aziraphale together. Sadly, he was stuck on the outside watching Y/n relieve everything the good and bad while Aziraphale lived in denial.

"Angel, please just look at me," He begged.

"I know what you're going to say Crowley and no it is not their time yet it never will be." He said venomously.

"I am upset as you are! You knew this was bound to happen we were destined to outlive all of humanity," Crowley says back trying to fight back the anger rising in him but failing miserably.

"Aren't we supposed to be not on Heaven's side or Hell's, but our side!" Aziraphale passionately states with his hand to his chest.

"Believe me, angel, if I could do something I would," Crowley looks back at him sorrowfully.

Crowley's heart aches at the look Aziraphale shoots him one full of disappointment and fear.

"I suppose you are right.. nothing ever lasts," Aziraphale responds almost emotionless like he had a mysterious switch in his head and it was flipped in an instant.

"Angel, don't say that," Crowley says back in disappointment but Aziraphale does not respond and leaves lightly shutting the door behind him.

Crowley sighs and sits on the bed next to Y/n. He gently cradles their face, "I will be with you Y/n no matter where you go and you will always be in my heart wherever ago. Rest assured darling we will meet again." He says these last words like a spell that he knows will come to fruition and seals it with a kiss on their forehead.

Even though Y/n has been unaware of most of what is going around them for almost a year now they seemed to smile at this statement and their eyes filled with tears that Crowley wiped away. Y/n knew they were safe and they shut their eyes for the last time.

[owen-writes]

Owen Writes

Male Reader Or Gender Neutral Or FTM Reader Only

Fem aligned people may interact and read but do not fetishize. No Fem Reader requests.

Masterposts:

Main Masterpost

Doctor Who Masterpost

Nameless Series Masterpost (needs a name)

ATM, I write for:

The Doctor (9,10,11,12,14,15) - Doctor Who

Rory Williams - Doctor Who

Captain Jack Harkness - Doctor Who

Alec Hardy - Broadchurch

Cale Erendreich - Bad Samaritan

Campbell Bain - Takin' Over The Asylum

Crowley - Good Omens (Will Do Poly Ineffable Husbands)

Saul Silva (Platonic) - Fate, The Winx Saga

Cullen Family (Platonic) - Twilight

Sierra Six - The Grey Man

Jonah Simms - Super Store

James Marriott

Lucifer Morningstar - Netflix Lucifer

Rules:

No smut! I may write smut if I want to but will not write requests that are smut. (Basically if I get horny and want to indulge, I will.)

All smut I do write is for 18+ only. You're reading my work at your own discretion and I am not responsible for what you read on the Internet.

Gore wise - no explicit descriptions but cannon typical stuff I'm okay with.

I can delete any request if it makes me uncomfortable

I'm not really a fan of AUs or anything that strays too far from cannon.

Can be a platonic or romantic relationship. Aka dad or husband? (Basically I have some deep daddy issues)

I like to have dialogue prompts to start off. But it's okay if not. (I lack the creative fuse to make up a story but can sure as hell write em.)