#inspo and motivation has been real slow lately

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 11

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: nothing (i think?) Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

a/n: hi all please be patient I am having some writers block/lack of motivation lately for writing so this series may be a bit on a pause (hopefully not) but I am working to get out more drabbles to maybe just get some inspo or something!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Waking up in Bucky’s arms felt just too good to be true. You were sure it was a dream, a nice, new dream Fate had blessed you with, but when Bucky shifted beside you and you felt every sensation, you knew you were truly awake. 

It also helped tremendously that you had a pleasant dream about him. It feels like centuries since you were shaken awake by the actions of The Winter Soldier. You couldn’t even consider any of it the actions of him next to you, feeling like the person in your dreams was and wasn’t the man in this bed. Everything felt like it intertwined dangerously, vines running through your mind. But, truthfully, you didn’t wanna think too much about it. You were finally getting your chance at the real soulmate experience, dates and dreams and all, and that was too priceless to spend time dwelling over much else.

Bucky awoke slowly, his normally rough eyes met yours in the softest manner. You two were tangled comfortably, still in most of last night's clothing, minus your panties and Bucky’s sweater which he must’ve ditched in the middle of the night. But none of that bothered you for a second. You were just too glad to be in this bed with your soulmate, cocooned lovingly in the sheets.

Bucky’s hoarse morning voice broke the silence, “Good morning.”

You smirked. “Good morning.” You shifted on your side and Bucky removed his arm from your waist, letting you get comfortable. The other arm around your shoulder stayed put. Quite surprisingly, it was his metal one. You could see Bucky’s torso completely now, the light from the sun hitting him in just the right way. Your eyes traveled from his arm to his shoulder, looking curiously. He was a fascinating phenomenon that you couldn’t believe was yours.

Thankfully, Bucky didn’t shiver away at the interest you were taking again in his arm and instead, indulged in your curiosity. “What’s going on in that pretty brain of yours?”

Your eyes snapped back to Bucky’s face. Your cheeks heated up from the question, feeling like you were caught doing something wrong. But Bucky didn’t look at all upset. Slowly, your eyes drifted back down and your hand came up to caress the base of his neck, just barely skimming his shoulder. He shuddered under the feeling.

“Does it… Does it hurt or anything?” You asked, suddenly feeling very stupid the second the words left your mouth. You bit your lip, trying to find the words to peddle back, but Bucky didn’t seem very bothered by it.

“No,” he shook his head. “I guess I don’t think much about it now. It’s just part of me. Obviously.”

You nodded, still letting your hand trace invisible patterns on his skin. “And you use it to fight bad guys?”

Bucky chuckled. “You’re still on that, huh?” You smirked and shrugged, wordlessly asking him to continue. “I… I help where I can. Don’t think it’s much to get excited about it but I like to think I have a hand in making the world better. It’s the least I could do since…” His words trailed off, leaving a kind of heaviness in the conversation. Bucky’s eyes lost their softness. They were beginning to water up but before any tear could escape, he spoke again. “You know, I actually am glad you brought this up. I have a mission soon.”

Your brows furrowed. “What?” 

He nodded and sat up in the bed, untangling you two. You followed his motions, gripping the blanket to you as you now sat side-by-side. 

“Should just be for a day or so. Mainly just gathering intel, nothing really crazy from the looks of it, but I still wanted to let you know.”

“W-When?”

“Tomorrow.”

Your jaw went slack. “You have a mission to leave for tomorrow and I’m just now hearing about it?”

Despite your rising anger, you let Bucky take your hand in his. He rubbed soft circles on your skin. “Doll, I promise, I didn’t know about it until yesterday morning.”

“Were you going to tell me?” You were a bit surprised by how softly your words came out, just barely making it above a whisper. Your heart was pounding loudly in your ears, worry and uncertainty course through you. You didn’t know what these missions could really entail. Could they really just be intel gathering? What if stuff goes wrong? Stuff goes wrong all the time, right? Your head was swimming and all you really knew was that you were losing your soulmate for a bit. Sure, you had gone your entire life without him (and he went without you much longer) but now you two were connected. It was practically set in stone. The situation had changed drastically and now he was leaving to do God knows what…

Bucky let out a sigh, the noise forcing you out of your worried thoughts. He spoke gently as if sensing the uneasiness within you, “Yes, I planned to, doll, I just didn’t know how to bring it up. When you asked about my job again, I just jumped on the opportunity, okay? I swear, I wasn’t going to just disappear.”

You wrapped your arm around his, leaning closer to rest your head in the crook of his neck. He shifted to welcome the touch. 

“You can’t disappear,” you whispered. “After what happened that night on the phone…” It flashed back. The dial tone in your ear, the thought of Bucky gone in the night. You didn’t want to remember those feelings, really. “You gotta promise me you’re going to be safe.”

Bucky let out a soft chuckle and you possibly would’ve found it comical, it was actually quite funny asking an ex-assassin to be safe, but thanks to the bond, there wasn’t anything funny about anything. You couldn’t imagine even having to put a bandaid on him. 

“I’ll be safe, doll,” he said. “Try not to worry.”

You scoffed. “Impossible.”

A moment passed before Bucky reached to cup the side of your face. Instinctively, you brought your face up to meet his. His expression as he stared back with a true whirlwind of emotions. Sadness, appreciation, love… But he didn’t express anything outwardly, and instead just placed his lips on yours. His body pressed into you as the kiss deepened, slowly pushing you back to the bed. You two fell back once again into the entanglement of one another. 

***

“You’re going to be okay, right?” 

“Yes, sweetheart, I’ll be fine.”

You tried giving an understanding nod but still, all you felt was worry as you and Bucky stood outside your apartment building saying your goodbyes. It was early and he had made sure to stop by before you had to leave for work. You thought you two had said your goodbyes in more ways than one yesterday but he wasn’t leaving so easily and you were secretly glad.

“I’m just making sure,” you sighed and reached to grab his hand. He accepted, intertwining your fingers.

“I know,” he nodded. “Are you going to be okay?”

You raised your brows. “Me?” You let out a small laugh. “I’m not the one going on a mission to do who knows what in God knows where.”

Bucky shook his head, a small smirk on his lips. “No, but I still have to make sure you’re safe here.”

“Bucky, I’ve spent a lot of time alone. I’m going to be just fine.”

Bucky’s expression morphed into something unsettling. He looked quite distressed at your comment, which you hadn’t truly expected, but hearing it out loud, you wanted to cringe at the statement. It was probably the most uncomfortable reminder but Bucky didn’t mention anything about it.

“I’m just making sure.” He repeated your words as a teasing remark, making you let out a small sigh of relief.

In a quick last-minute move, you pulled him closer to place a loving kiss on his lips. He smiled into it as his other hand came up to caress your cheek. Warmth raced through you as he broke the kiss.

“Have a good day at work, doll.”

“Have a good mission, Buck.”

***

You thanked your lucky stars that work today was ridiculously slow. It was almost the weekend but the usual rush of morning folks had dwindled pretty fast. Truly, though, this was a best-case scenario in your eyes because in between the fleeting customers and out of the watchful gaze of your boss, you took time to send Bucky some texts. While, yes, you knew he hated texting (who could blame him with the T9 keyboard he was working with) but you still thought they would be nice for him to read. 

I’m sure you’re high off in the sky getting briefed on your task but I wanted to wish you luck. You hit send with a goofy grin feeling a bit silly and a bit… concerned. Your worry for Bucky hadn’t stopped and you knew most likely it was consequences of being separated from your soulmate but you wished the gnawing at your soul would quit it. Still, though, a part of you felt giddy being able to send him cute little things while he was gone.

Your coworker took notice of your behavior quite quickly. As she came around the counter  restocking the syrups, she asked, “What’s got you all lovestruck?”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your smile. “Bucky’s gone for a bit and I was just sending him a little love note.”

Your coworker chuckled. “A love note. Oh, how far you two have come.” With that sentiment, she went back to her restocking, leaving you to stare at your phone. You nodded to yourself realizing, yeah, you and Bucky had come far. You didn’t know if all relationships hit the gas pedal but there had always been an urgency with you even before ever looking at Bucky. You had wanted this for a while, always unsure if you would get it thanks to what the nightmares showed, but now it was real. It was as Bucky said, if it felt right to you two, then it must be.

Thinking of you. You sent off another little message before sliding your phone back into your pocket. You waited the rest of your shift but never received anything back, not that you really expected it, though. You figured if he had time to call, he was going to wait for that opportunity. 

Eventually, the clock hit quitting time and you exited the coffee shop, waving a brief goodbye to your coworker. Standing on the sidewalk, you half expected to maybe see Bucky eager to walk you home or take you to dinner but the street was gravely empty. You shook off the unusual thought and began your journey home. 

It was a fairly quiet night and you were thankful for that. It gave you a chance to just be with yourself for a second after a whirlwind of days and nights with Bucky by your side. Maybe this distance would be good, you thought. The distance creates a need and your reunion would be unlike anything you had ever felt before. You blushed at the thought.

You made your way into your apartment building and up the stairs. Unlocking your door, you threw down your items and began getting ready for bed. The softness of it was just begging for you. While you would’ve loved to be back in Bucky’s, you were dying for a bit of sleep to maybe ease your hyperactive thoughts of your soulmate and his mission. 

After taking off your make-up and getting on your pajamas, you crawled under the covers. Sleep hit you almost immediately, a new occurrence you were getting used to. You never really recalled a time when you were welcoming sleep with open arms.

But maybe you were counting your blessings too soon. Tonight ended up not being how it had been for the past few days. The nightmares came back in a sudden rush, way too fast for you to even think about what the hell was going on. You felt so lost, being pushed so many steps back in your progress, as scenes of fighting and guns blazing flashed in and out without any warning. The emotions came back as well. Need and anger were swelling in your heart as you fought and fought within the nightmares. Everything began feeling…so real. The nightmares felt strong as your body felt it had a mind of its own, tossing around your bed in panic as your brain filled with the images and… yells?

You were shaking now. You didn’t remember hearing sounds in your nightmares before but everything can be suppressed if you’re traumatized enough, you figured. But there was just something within you that didn’t feel right. Granted, nothing was right about the nightmares but this was different… these sounds felt real and sudden… Your brain was screaming. What the...

Something cold hit your back. At first, you had thought your blanket fell off but when you went to grab it, you found your hands were bound together. Real panic, nothing of the dream kind, raced through you. Your eyes bolted open. 

You didn't find your blanket because it wasn’t there. You weren’t in your bed. Hell, you weren’t even in your apartment. You were alone, shoved into a dark cell, your back pressed against a cold, metal wall. The panic was settling in but you couldn’t find the strength to react besides staring around frantically in the dark. You couldn’t make out anything, barely able to even see your own body. It was deadly silent.

You began praying to whatever was out there that this was just a dream, that you just really couldn't wake up, you had only thought you woke up. But that just wasn’t the case and a sad part of you really knew it. Nightmares suddenly weren’t just reserved for bedtime.

[soundofseventeen]

Miracle (Lee Jihoon)

Happy birthday @peachy-hoon​! A million thank yous will never suffice but I can always give you this! I’m sorry for any mistakes; I literally uploaded this as I finished. And you know, it’s not my best work, but alas.

Word count: 2645

Inspo

“And that’s a wrap!” Jihoon spoke into the mic to let Wonwoo know he was done for the day and without waiting for him to leave the recording studio, removed his headphones and stuffed his sweater and whatever he could fit into his backpack and ran out of Universe Factory, the door wide open and leaving his confused, but amused friend to tidy up the small room. In his rush he literally ran into Jeonghan, who ended up throwing all the papers in his hands, and Jihoon, although didn’t like running behind schedule, stayed to help pick up the mess he made.

“Where are you going in such a rush?” The older boy teased, checking the papers he had in his hand to make sure they were all in order and ready for presentation.

“Home.” Not bothering to check the pages, Jihoon handed them over and let Jeonghan sort them out.

“It’s still early, don’t you think? Soonyoung said he still has to go through the choreography and Seungcheol wanted everyone present for the meeting.” The impish smile had formed on Jeonghan’s face before he finished his sentence.

“Soonyoung said he’d record it for me and Seungcheol already told me everything I need to know.” Jihoon searched for his cellphone, groaning internally when he realized that he had left it in the practice room when he dropped the towels off for his clingy friend.

“Aren’t you gonna help me put these back in order?” Jeonghan asked when he saw him walking away.

“You have that handled well enough.”

“I’m missing the first page, and I had it before you knocked me over.” 

“Don't do this to me right now Jeonghan.” This time, the groan he let out was external. “I have plans that I can’t break.” Well, he could if he wanted to, but he wasn’t gonna.

“You’re not going anywhere until I find it.”

“It’s under your shoe. I’ll grab it for-move Jeonghan. I need all the time I can get.” Jihoon crouched to pick up the piece of paper.

“Why not just invite Y/N over so you stay a little longer and then you can leave together.” Jeonghan not so subtly moved his foot along with the paper so he wouldn’t take it so easily.

“I don’t think so.” He pushed his older friend, momentarily making him lose his balance and successfully retrieved the paper, squinting his eyes to read it and looking confused. “How is this our fault?”

“It’s not. The CEO is already talking to Jun about it and we’re supposed to see what measures we can take from happening again.”

“Then shouldn’t we talk to Yanan about it? I don’t know why they thought squawking every time their ringtones went off and unnecessarily texting each other throughout the day is our fault.” And both of them were messaging both groups, but he didn’t need to add that part. Instinctively, his hand went to his pockets, ready to make sure his phone stayed on silent, but he remembered he didn’t have it.

“If it gets the CEO off our backs, I don’t care what we have to do.” Jeonghan took out his own mobile device, shutting the noise off as a safety precaution. “I dreamt Yanan was part parrot twice already.” He shuddered at some memory.

“Okay, so I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bright and early and not a minute more. I have a song for you and Mingyu to go through.” He was ready to step past him when Jeonghan grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back slightly.

“Do you really have to go though? This hyung hasn’t eaten lunch and it’s your turn to buy.”

Woozi let out a deep sigh, took out his wallet, smiled briefly at the picture he had of you, and pulled out his debit card, along with the loose change he had. “You know my pin number and this is literally for anything else. ‘Bye.”

“Will Y/N be okay with you staying longer?” 

“Yes, but I won’t be.” He turned the other way to head over to the practice room, only instead of seeing Soonyoung, he found Chan in the middle of a choreo practice. “Sorry, I’m just here for my phone.”

Chan hit the pause button on the remote, and gratefully took the towel Jihoon provided. “Oh, uh, I haven’t seen it. Maybe Hoshi hyung took it when he left?”

“Okay, I’ll see you guys tomorrow then.” Although he wasn’t thrilled to be phoneless the rest of the day, he figured that no one important would try to get a hold of him and if he managed to convince you to turn it off, then it’d be foolproof. 

“Hyung, what are you today with Y/N that you’re not staying here with us?” Chan wadded up the towel and threw at him when Jihoon shook his head.

“Nothing, for real. I just wanna go home and take a nap on the couch.”

“I don’t believe you, but go ahead and leave us to suffer with our evil CEO and Joshua hyung.”

“I don’t know what you did but I’m glad you did it. Now Bumzu is in charge of getting the chorus done before you leave ton-stop looking at me like that. I’m not abandoning you.”

“You’re leaving us for Y/N.”

“I already had these plans.” And not even his best friends would hold him up. 

“Okay fine, don’t tell me what super fun, cool thing you’re gonna do while we just slave away here.”

Jihoon began walking away, backwards and slowly. However, he couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face. “We aren’t doing anything or going anywhere. I’d ask you guys to come over after work to see for yourself, but I don’t wanna.”

“Ever since you and Y/N started dating, you’ve changed.” The fake sniffle Chan let out almost sent Jihoon to the floor but he managed to reach the door and once he took a bow, walked out.

*

Jihoon let himself in quietly, just in case you were asleep or on the phone with someone important to you, but he was greeted with a Stray Kids song coming from the living room. He smiled while he watched “Back Door”, nodding to himself when he saw Bang Chan. He admired the leader, and respected his choices regarding his group, but if anything, it was how much you fawned over him that made him petty. (Not in the sense that whenever you argued, he’d tell you to be with him, but rather he thrived on the idea that if he was with you in public and you came across Chan, Jihoon could always be satisfied in knowing that you were on his arm, and bragging about him.) 

He did make a note to remind himself to tell the boys  that your friend wanted Seventeen to do the choreo and if he could just remember it one day, it’d be great. 

“Jagi?” He called out so he’d know where you were.

“I’m not home,” was your response and with that, followed the sound of your voice that led him into the kitchen. “You’re early.”

He placed a kiss on your hair and let you finish the dishes while he checked the mail you left on the table. Bills, spam, a few unknown addresses written to you and he could only assume you found more photocards and you’d show them to him later. “How was work?”

“They wanted me to stay a little longer but I told them I couldn’t.”

“So just about the same as me.” He tore up the junk mail, and threw it in the trash. “What’s that smell?” He asked, wrinkling his nose.

“I might have burned the first batch of cookies, while I was in the shower. But don’t worry, thes ones in the oven are almost done and they’ll be good for dinner.” You turned around to wave at him, but he stood up, opened a pack of peach gummies for you and fed you one. “Speaking of, what sounds good?”

He wrapped his arms around you, back hugging you while you resumed your chores. “I’m not hungry right now. How about you throw these in the dishwasher and we can just watch movies and we’ll make food later?”

“Vacuum the living room first and then I’ll go meet you there. I have to clean the bathroom after this and dust my shelves and-” you sighed, “-so much to do.”

“But you’re not working tomorrow. Can’t you do that?”

“I have plans tomorrow and I won’t be home until late.”

“Fine, I’ll help you do our chores so you can finish and then we’ll watch something that Wonwoo swore was good.” 

He kissed your cheek, only to jump slightly when you yelled out, “Ateez present!”, followed by, “Turn the TV up. I love this song!”

He nodded but didn’t say anything else, instead running around the apartment with the vacuum cleaner and you occasionally scolding him because you couldn’t hear your favorite songs, and after that, collecting all the trash to throw out so you wouldn’t have to go outside and lose whatever motivation you had. He liked when you had energy like that; it usually made him wonder what other things you had done, like the fact you changed the bedsheets this time, washed his clothes, and baked some dessert. You worked extra hard today and he couldn’t wait to have you sit next to him and watch something that you wouldn’t focus on, but you’d have a good night’s sleep if that happened. He wished he could do what you did in the short amount you’ve been home.

You somehow managed to finish at around the same time, but he could see you weren’t tired because you were teasing the cat with all its toys. (The cat he said he didn’t want when you bought the apartment, but for some reason couldn’t bear parting with the stray so now, he was an active member of the family, but he wasn’t complaining. The feline kept you company when he was gone and it strangely put Jihoon at ease.) “Haha, you’re too slow. Come grab it now.” You picked him up, trying not to wince when one of the claws came out. “Come on pretty boy. You’re gonna watch a movie with us tonight.”

Jihoon was already waiting for you, your favorite blanket ready to be claimed and the snacks ready to be eaten. “Come on Jagi. You don’t know how long I was waiting to do this with you.” He extended his arms wide enough for you to fall into them, and when you did, wrapped them around you, sighing contentedly. “You know I can stay like this forever, right?”

He kissed your forehead when you nodded, and you could feel the tiredness creeping in. He always made your long days a little better and you often wished you could be the beacon of energy he needed, and you tried really hard to be that. Your work’s complaints could wait for another day, but this couldn’t. “Thank you for coming home early.”

You could feel yourself falling asleep a little into the movie, not because you were bored, but because you were so warm and comfortable and you didn;t wanna break your little bubble. Jihoon played with your hair, further lulling you into a slumber and when he placed random kisses on you, you just silently asked for more. So it surprised you when the doorbell rang and you looked at him. “Did you order dinner?”

“No. Did you?” Then came the hard knocking and you recognized it immediately, and you let out a laugh.

“They didn’t,” Jihoon groaned. “I told them no. Just ignore them and they’ll go away.”

“Is that why you turned my phone off earlier?”

“Yes. I don’t always get this time with you.”

“Should I just let them in? You know they won’t stop until we open the door.” You didn’t know how long you stayed liked, but you reluctantly got off of Jihoon and opened the door, him muttering profanities and threatening to put them through hell the next time they were due to record.

“Y/N, you’re here!” Seungkwan pushed through everyone to hug you. “How come you don’t visit us? Don’t you love us anymore?”

“Dude, I’ve been so busy lately. I’m sorry.”

“WAIT!” Chan cried loud enough to wake your neighbors so you put a finger to your lips to quiet him down. “So Hyung was telling the truth when he said you weren;t doing anything?”

“We literally just cleaned the house and we were gonna watch a movie until bed.”

“Wow, you’re not fun.”

You counted all the heads, multiple times, frowning a little when you counted the 12. “I haven’t made dinner and we were just gonna have noodles.”

“Oh good! We’re starving.” Someone pushed Wonwoo and they all rushed inside, quickly making themselves at home. Jihoon shot you an apologetic look and you smiled at him. You enjoyed Seventeen’s company, but Jihoon shook his head, trying to look annoyed at their presence, but the smile he tried to hide was confirmation enough to have them here for a little. 

“Everyone is having ramen form the packet and if you don’t like it, then you can go and get your own food.” Your eyes widened when you saw the time on the stove. It felt so much later than it actually was.

“I just wanna know why you guys are here and not at home.”

“Hyung, you invited me earlier, remember? While I was working on the choreo and you were looking for your phone.”

“That reminds me. Catch Woozi!” Soonyoung fished the phone out of his pocket and threw it at his best friend, snickering when he failed to catch it.

“I didn’t invite you. I said I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

“Well, we’re already here and Y/N said we could stay.”

“But please not so late; I’m working tomorrow. But later this weekend, you can go nuts.”

*

“I thought you weren’t working,” Jihoon asked after the unexpected guests left.

“I’m not, but like you said, we don’t always have time to do this.”

“You’re the best. Go play the movie; I can finish right here. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Not kicking them out. You could’ve done that.”

“They were already here.” You shrugged. “I guess you guys still need each other sometimes.”

“Still, I appreciate that.” He lightly pushed you to the living room, though you couldn’t actually sit down. There was a small mess you could’ve ignored, but you were already up and you didn’t know how long it’d be until Jihoon finished. Plus it wouldn’t take long, especially since your favorite boy was sound asleep on his tower after Jun and Vernon chased him around. 

And you also also had to change Netflix accounts so no one would be confused about anything. Luckily, no one touched your stuff, so you were able to find your spot fairly quickly and Jihoon came by just in time, with two of your cookies in his hand, and handed one to you.

“I love you, you know that?”

He nodded. “Let’s finish watching this, so we can go to sleep.” He flopped on the couch, once again extending his arms to you, where you met him with small pecks and flushed cheeks. 

You finally pressed play again, hoping for no more interruptions until the next day, quickly falling into your previous state of almost falling asleep right then and there. “I love you Jihoon,” you mumbled to him again.

He shut his eyes in his euphoric state, letting your words warm him up before he responded to you, quietly enough that not even your favorite boy could hear.

“You are my miracle.”

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Alana

Writing Blog URL(s): @jinyoungsir

What fandom(s) do you write for?: GOT7, BTS, Monsta X, Stray Kids, Ateez, NCT

Age: 27

Nationality: American

Languages: English

Star Sign: Aries

MBTI: I’m not sure. I’ve taken the test so many times but I never remember the result.

Favorite color: Black

Favorite food: Potatoes! All forms of potatoes!!

Favorite movie: Harry Potter? Jurassic Park/World? Twister? Jaws? I love movies...it’s so hard to choose!

Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla with lots of fudge & brownie bits.

Favorite animal: Tigers! I like big cats and the way they move. 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Coffee- Peppermint White Mocha HOT! Or any flavor tea hot or cold as long as it’s sweetened!

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Writing and Traveling. Something far from the 9-5, ‘working for the man’ type of job.

Go-to karaoke song: ‘Shoop’ by Salt-N-Pepa (thank u Deadpool)

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: The ability to manipulate time because I am late for everything and also, I would 100% pause the timeline for a little mental health break once a day. 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: Idk if this counts but I low-key would have loved to be a pirate. So whatever timeline that fits into. 

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: No, thank you. I already have a defiance disorder. I’m not going to be under 18 ever again. I like doing what I want when I want as an adult lol. Everything turned out okay. 

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: 100 chicken-sized horses. I hope I drown in them. What a dream.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: I AM a teen highschool movie trope lol my husband and I met in school at fourteen.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: YES, because the world is just too big for there not to be. 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: I stopped eating pizza for several years for no real reason other than not wanting to eat pizza and then just starting eating it again one day as if I had never stopped. 

When did you post your first piece?: I think it was May 2019.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: Mostly fluff & humor because I’m kind of soft and I really love a feel-good fic. Any angst I write is typically resolved by the end because I live for a happy ending. And occasional smut strictly for the spice. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: OCs & xReaders. 

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: I love/hate the format tbh but mostly because of my tumblr community. I love being able to meet and talk to new people easily thru the platform. 

What inspires you to write?: Everything! Songs, movies, commercials, personal events, etc. Sometimes it’s just a word, phrase, or picture.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: I’m a major sucker for friends/strangers to lovers! and I LOVE a good Mafia/Gang/Assassin!AU. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you can catch me writing dad!au stories. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: I just hope it makes them feel good. Laugh, smile, cry, yell, uwu, just- all the emotions. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: Take a break. Read a book, dive into a k-drama, binge a few fics. Sometimes I just have to put the laptop away until I’m ready to start again.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: My favorite story is probably ‘Over The Top’ with GOT7’s Bambam. It’s a dad!au about bam’s twin boys’ first birthday party. I’m quite attached to their family dynamic in the story and may even revisit twin terrors Somsak & Somchai in the future. Most successful? Probably the ‘Bubbles’ series, a Monsta X OT7 fiesta. I had a lot of feedback while posting that series and made a lot of friends. (It was also my first actual fic & it jump-started this blog!)

Who is your favorite person to write about?: Jackson Wang or Park Jinyoung from GOT7 and Han Jisung from Stray Kids. 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: This is kind of a tough one because, yes- as a fanfic writer I’m using a real person as a character, however, the storyline, the dialog, the emotions, the actions of the characters are all organic. I could take any one of my stories and replace only that person’s name and it would be considered entirely original. So, I guess I would say it’s not so different. 

What do you think makes a good story?: Great dialog. 

What is your writing process like?: Sometimes I get an idea and go straight to word vomiting and editing. Sometimes it’s planning the title, characters, tags list, & summary then not looking at it for a few weeks until I’m ready to write it. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Yes. All of my stories are AU (non-idol verse) so I would totally repurpose them.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: Love: friends/strangers/enemies to lovers, + grumpy character only soft for their love interest. Dislike: Love triangles, angsty slow burn, cheating, etc.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: IT IS EVERYTHING. I love reading tags, getting aks, getting messages, it warms my heart, and really motivates me to keep going.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: When I write and I really like my own story, it feels like a success. 

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yes, they certainly can be. I think people who don’t understand fanfiction can have a very narrow mindset and belittle fanfic writers because of that misunderstanding.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Yes. Even if its something as small as changing one’s mood. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: Not usually. I try to only write things that make me happy and if I ever get requests I’m not into, I usually won’t write it. If I’m not enjoying myself and the story, it’s not worth the pressure I put on myself to write it.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: It’s definitely possible, but I haven’t had many issues with this so far.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: My mom, dad, sister, husband, and two other friends know.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: I’m always here to make you laugh and smile, whenever you need it. I hope my stories can bring you joy.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: Do it for yourself. If you are enjoying yourself then it’s worth it. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: I love this hellsite. I’ve been here since high school and I have no regrets. 

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: AJ: my favorite bean, Chelle: my fav writer & inspo, Megan: my hype squad gf, Leena: my sisterwife, Na: my #1 supporter, and Val: my JJP/Wonu Soulmate. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “mo0n Mo0n JiN m0oN!” - Jeon Jeongguk

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

[shophotlavablog]

Inspo: Lulu Bonfils

Instagram: @louisvuittoncrocs

You have seen Lulu grace your instagram feeds and Savage Fenty runways alike. She is sugar sweet and real when she’s speaking about the ups and downs, and frankly BS,  of her industry and her life with chronic illness. Lulu has been Inspo since I met her, so it was only natural that we asked her(art major) to draw a tee for the line. Happy to roll this new blog area out with an interview with her.

Hot Lava: What have been you working on lately?

I haven’t had a formal job in a long time, so regular working days for me are few and far between. Lately, I’ve been filling all my time with drawing, cooking, cleaning, building things, learning how to take care of plants, doing brand collaborations, and prioritizing spending time in nature. I’m also trying to figure out the whole elimination diet thing. 
 What are some things you’ve been doing to prioritize “me time”?

I think the past couple months I’ve been focusing all my time on me time, relationship time, friend time, and family time. Though, I find all those things fall under me time. I’ve been doing every hobby of mine that makes me happy, learning new skills like home improvement, practicing new mediums in art, building things with my mom, and spending time on things that my job typically prevents me from doing, like redecorating my home.

Can you give us a small walk through on how you started out in your career, and what younger you would need to hear to get where you are?

I never sought out working in my career, but I did recognize there needed to be more bodies like mine in fashion. I was scouted at an opening party for the brand Me and You at 15, and from there was offered to do headshots at Cast Partner in Brooklyn. After taking headshots, they email blasted my photos to every agency in New York and I ended up signing to Wilhelmina NY and London shortly after and my career started from there. I was shown things in the fashion world that I was naive to & my eyes were quickly opened to how vicious and brutal the modeling world was to people. If I could tell my younger self one thing about my career it would be that you need to know who you are, your morals, your beliefs, your boundaries and your needs. No matter how hard people push for you to succumb to their wants, you must always assert your needs and boundaries because you will be put in compromising situations that test them. And everyone does not need to like you!! That is a sacrifice you have to make in the process of asserting your needs.Tell me your most embarrassing moment in your current career/relationship/ creative endeavor. I think the most embarrassing/hardest moment in both my career and relationship was when I got sick with a month long intestinal virus in Barcelona during a work trip. I got sick the day after I arrived and luckily my boyfriend was there to bring me back and forth from the hospital to the hotel. I was so ill immediately that I wasn’t able to do any of the work that I was flown out to complete, which is the epitome of embarrassing for me career wise. On top of that I was openly shitting my brains out next to my boyfriend, which also is super embarrassing. It was definitely a horrific experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone & I’m still struggling with gut issues from it almost 2 years later! Luckily, we had been together for 2 years at that point so pooping in front of him wasn’t the scariest thing.

What causes you stress and how to ease those stresses?

Basically everything! I’m an over-thinker, to a fault. When I think so much to the point of anxiety & panic, meaning I’m ruminating on a thought to the point of obsession, is where the real stressing begins. I think almost everything happening in the world/America is extremely stressful for everyone in every way possible, and with very long term and life impacting issues. My only tactic to get myself through this is self soothing through activities, talk therapy, and speaking to myself. Each of us has activities that are meditative, calming, and force us to slow down and resist ruminating on harmful thoughts or things we can’t change. This is my main tactic for staying sane through everything that’s been happening. Making sculptures, drawing, cooking, exercising, are all forms of self soothing for me and they're the main ways I feel I can get through extremely hard emotions and thoughts to process.

Do you think about where you’d like to be in 5 years or even 1 year or are you more of “in the moment type”?

I tend to over-plan and get stuck on ideas of executing a perfect 5 year trajectory for myself & I realize it’s an anxious tendency that doesn’t best reflect the life situation I’m in. The modeling game is an extremely unstable career, as are many freelance gigs, and I’ve learned to lend myself to a schedule thats out of my control, for the time being. I never dreamed of modeling as my own career choice, however it is at the center of my universe, next to my own passions and interests. So I think the idea that I could plan my future has gone out the window since I started working in a career that chose me, rather than the other way around. I know my end goals and I know what activates my interests, and I think for the time being, that’s all I can rely on for future plans.

How do you stay true to yourself while executing other people’s creative?

I think of my job as momentarily fulfilling others creative ideas, so my motivation as I work is to act as a tool to best emulate what they are trying to create. Then, when I’m off the job, I’m thinking of my own ideas for drawings/sculptures. I think being in other environments where I am used to create an atmosphere/world inside another person’s ideas helps me expand and consider new ideas of my own. Being in tune with others creative endeavors helps get my own brain juices flowing.

QUICK QUESTIONS Name one hobby: Baking/cooking! I’ll never get tired of learning new recipes and techniques. If you wrote a book what would the title be and why? How to be a Model Without Letting It Ruin You What are you listening to right now: The entire Chromatica album everyday

CLICK HERE TO SHOP THE LULU TEE

[arayael-eloha]

Change in Season - Change in Attitude

Springtime has me SPRUNG!

I AM BACCCKKKKKK!!! And so ready to get after it since I hibernated ALL WINTER LONG.

First and foremost, thank you to everyone who has reached out via social media, text, or even in person to tell me how much they have enjoyed this blog and if the posts inspired you in some way. That was the whole point and main goal in starting this blog - making a difference, even if it is just to one person. This creative outlet helps me stay accountable and in turn, I hope it helps inspire and ignite others to workout and MOVE and live healthy lifestyles, whatever that may look like to them. I know I have not posted as frequently as I had originally planned to, but you know, life! Life takes over and mine has been a whirlwind.

Let’s backtrack real quick: I got a new job back in August, which has been amazing – I AM SO HAPPY and absolutely love what I am doing. I then started to explore the group fitness world and began coaching at a boutique fitness studio here in DC, so from working 9-5 then going straight to training, it was a lot, PLUS I was studying for my ACE exam, PLUS keeping up with all my friends and family…I had a lot on my plate.

Well, things slowed down over winter. Things did not quite workout at the gym I was coaching at and I failed my ACE test. Yep, that’s right failed it. BIG X! I now remember what it was like to fail something – ha! Haven’t done that since college! The score left me speechless. I felt defeated and like a failure. I started questioning my ability to become a group fitness coach, because of a piece of paper that prevented me from doing something that quite honestly, I was kinda good at and I LOVED IT! So naturally, like the Cancer I am, I crawled into my shell and just had to hang in my emotions for a bit. I gave up working out, in the sense that I was not really driven anymore in my workouts, like I lost my reason why I liked to sweat. It was December and all I wanted was to eat Christmas cookies and mac & cheese and drink red wine, so I indulged and just wanted a break. I had been going REALLY hard for months, so it just felt like the right thing to do at the time.

Well slowly but surely, I fell out of shape and those winter layers of love kept me nice and warm. And I knew it was going to happen, but it was a B*%$# getting back into the gym and eating right, HOWEVER, I do not regret it, because I know I needed to listen to my body and at the time I really needed a break and that is okay, I came to PEACE with that.

So let’s fast forward to the present: I have been back on my grind, with workouts and trying new things. I have taken control in finding holistic doctors and wellness routines and had this incredible experience up at an ayurvedic retreat in Boone, NC and I will make a post about that soon, so all in all, I have been coming back into balance. It has been a slow process, but I am getting my groove back.

I feel like a new person when I can start to feel the warmth again – I for sure get seasonal depression, so now I am back at it and motivated to share in this healthy, fit, active lifestyle I live. DC really has changed me and my outlook on ‘fit’. Yes, I probably drink a tad bit more – HAPPY HOURS are the best, but I also am probably the healthiest I have ever been and most in tune to what my body is needing and craving. I want to nurture it, take care of it, love it!

Cheers to us who take each day to better ourselves. Let us recognize the small things, even when the big things might not go our way, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. Live each day with gratitude in your heart, accept the lessons, ride the highs, and acknowledge the lows - you won’t always be there, but you’ll always be in for the RIDE! Remember BALANCE my friends. 

Looking forward to reigniting my energy and passion in this journey and blogging about something that is near and dear to me. 

In peace,

A

WORKOUT

I did this workout with my friend, Deonte, a few weeks ago. Bless his heart for sweating with me late on a Friday night and trying out this sweat sesh. I think I worked him pretty good! I know for sure I got a workout in – he did make it look easy half of the time. I was not able to upload the video, but DON’T YOU WORRY - you will see these moves again and I will get the videos up and running. Technical glitch 😐 I knew I would have at least one.

LEG & GLUTE BURNER

Box Jumps x10

Sumo Squats w/ Kettle Bell x12

Sandbag Slams x12

Box Side Step Up with Curtsy Lunge x10 each leg

Loaded Beasts x6 each side

CARDIO ROUND

Burpee Jump Overs x8

Kettle Bell Swings x12

Elevated Plank March x10

ABS

Standing Band Resisted Hold with Woodchop

Plank

Slow Bicycle with 2 sec pause

In and Outs

Boats

FOOD INSPO

SO I collaborated with my wonderful roomie and wanted to feature her!! She is starting a food blog and I tasted this dish she made last week and I said I HAVE TO meal prep this for next week. I feel like I eat so healthy and clean when she cooks; she has a completely different outlook on how to pair ingredients together and I can confidently say I have never tried anything of hers that I did not like, so I am featuring a vegetarian dish this week, but you can easily make it meat friendly if you crave that chicken or steak.

I do not have a name for the dish, but I made GOCHUJANG RED SAUCE! AND it is the BOMB!!

So we can call this GOCHUJANG Veggies & Tofu

Steam the veggies below:

Green Beans

Leek

Eggplant

Pan fry the tofu with Ghee and Adobo Seasoning (you can pan fry meat here if you would prefer)

RED SAUCE - it was mainly done by taste

Korean Red Chili Pepper Paste - huge glop

Soy sauce - Tablespoon

Sesame Oil - Tablespoon

Sugar or orange marmalade - Tablespoon

Rice Vinegar - Dash

Ginger - Dash

Add it all together and BAM you have an AMAZING Veggie healthy meal!!!

[interiorstarweb]

Here! There! Everywhere!

OH HELLO! It’s June! How did that happen?! There’s so much going on. Let’s run it down in no particular order because my brain’s all over the place.

The gang is back together! Edwin, Edgar and I are in the midst of building a large-and-in-charge wraparound front porch on a circa-1900 house in Kingston! Perhaps I should say rebuilding, since the porch was demolished long ago. So we’re constructing a close resemblance of the original porch, based on the bits of information we have—a few photos, dimensions from old tax assessment records, and the few pieces of the original porch that remained. It’s a big huge project that’s been in the works for a couple of YEARS now, so it’s super exciting that it’s finally happening. It’s also daunting! Partially because it’s HUGE at almost 800 square feet, and partially because it’s a significant addition that will completely change the appearance of this old house and I have to make it look right and like it’s always been there! Part of my job is keeping everyone occupied and PAID, so aside from this big project I’ve also been hustling my ass around town on a bunch of smaller projects that the guys can hit when it rains, or a product order is late, or whatever. It’s kinda a lot to manage.

Let me tell you a story! Last summer, I reluctantly dove into the waters of Instagram Stories while we were working on a different house just outside of Kingston. Admittedly, I’m an extremely rare story-watcher, but evidently I’m a semi-prolific story-maker. It’s fun! It’s easy! As we know by now, as much as I like to write, I frequently struggle with actually having the time to dedicate entire blog posts to stuff that I plan to dedicate entire blog posts to while they’re happening, so Instagram Stories have been a nice alternate way to document things in real time. If you’re not following me already, first of all get your life together, and second of all go find me @DanielKanter. Then just keep an eye out for new posts, I guess! I try to archive the more relevant bits into the Highlights feature at the top of my profile, if you need to catch up a little on the aforementioned porch project.

What’s that you say? A different house outside of Kingston? Yeah! I guess if you don’t follow me on Instagram, you wouldn’t have a way of knowing about the cool quirky old farmhouse the guys and I renovated last summer/fall/winter! Honestly it was another doozy—not quite Olivebridge proportions, but still managed to go from a couple changes and a bunch of sprucing up to a top-to-bottom overhaul of…everything? 2 bathrooms! Kitchen! Laundry! All the rooms! The whole outside! Mechanicals! The bulk of the work ended in February but I just did a final install last week. I have to go back and photograph it but it’s nice to have this 8-week-turned-8-month project off my plate a bit.

Speaking of Olivebridge. If you read even one of those tumultuous posts about the Olivebridge house, I owe you some resolution. We don’t have to get into all the mostly-stupid reasons that hasn’t yet come to pass, but I haven’t forgotten. Honestly the fact that I haven’t blogged about it makes me feel like the book is still open on that project—in spite of the house’s successful completion!—and that feeling sucks so it’s high time to get my shit together on that front. MAYBE IT COULD ACTUALLY BE FUN! At the very least I think it will really and truly feel finished in terms of big life events I’d never want to repeat. Ha!

5 years! So I didn’t even think about it until the day after, but Friday marked the five year anniversary of owning my house! What a journey we’ve been on, this house and I. I still love it. I’m still overwhelmed by it. There are still parts of it I haven’t tackled and a lot of other parts in some stage of progress, but (knock on ALL the wood) I think the worst of the renovation is pretty much over and that feels GOOD. The past 2 years or so were particularly rocky, but it’s finally started to feel like a real home again—my home—and I’m more grateful than ever that I get to call this special house mine.

Laundry! Kitchen! Anticipating that this summer would be exactly as crazy as it’s shaping up to be, I set some concrete goals for myself and my renovation for the first four months of the year. We can talk about this more later, but experience is a valuable thing—and it’s taught me that working on multiple major renovation projects at different properties at the same time is a recipe for inefficiency and frazzled-ness and general misery, but I also obviously can’t just work on my own house all the time. So, I try to give myself a little time between client projects to re-focus on my own stuff and get as much done as I can. May 1st became the goal for having a functioning laundry room, a functioning kitchen, and doing some MAJOR clean-up and space-reclamation everywhere else once the first two items were accomplished and there’d be a bit more room to spread out. I DID IT! Having laundry again is amazing and having it on the second floor lights up my life. The kitchen is FAR from complete, but IT HAS WALLS and electric and plumbing—enough to hook up a sink, move in a few of my old cabinets, and start using the space again AS A KITCHEN for the first time in almost 2 years. And now that my dining room isn’t also a kitchen, and my living room isn’t also an enormous glorified dog kennel, I spent a weekend just rearranging my own shit for hours and now those two rooms look and feel so much better than they have in a LONG TIME. I even had two friends over for dinner! Like I said—still a ton to do, but getting to this point of basic usability feels huge.

So interior progress at my house will slow, but hopefully exterior work will continue. There’s a lot to do on the outside of my house—between gardening on the street-facing sides (and just maintaining what I have!), finally putting the finishing touches on the major exterior work that started last summer and the one before, and trying to get SOMETHING good going on in the backyard, I hope I can bang it out in my “free time” before fall/winter hits again. I’ve already decided that this summer I’m going to skip tearing off more vinyl siding in favor of just polishing off what’s already started—I can’t stand all the loose ends out there right now.

I have a major itch to landscape. Or hardscape maybe, more specifically? Getting the backyard just to square one was so labor-intensive and expensive that gathering the motivation (or setting aside the time, with the house itself needing so much attention!) to do much else with it has been tough. I’ve done two things that helped get my ass in gear, though: first, I asked a friend with a great garden to help me prioritize and plan and make a few decisions. FRIENDS! THEY’RE SO HELPFUL! Second, the Brinson’s invited me last minute to the Trade Secrets garden show in Connecticut, where we toured 3 amazing gardens including living legend Bunny Williams’ property, which I really just need to do a photo-dump kind of blog post about because it was so insanely good. Going to see this stuff IN MY CLIMATE (“omg, I can actually grow that too!!!”) was really valuable and the whole thing was for-real inspiring. Like I literally got home and began construction on a dry-stacked bluestone wall because I just had to get my inspo-overload ya-yas out somehow.

But don’t get carried away about my house, because there’s still Bluestone Cottage. I feel I owe a longer explanation about this than I want to get into right this instant, but long and short of it is—I MUST finish that house. Personally, professionally, emotionally, physically, financially—it needs to happen. I think I successfully enlisted an electrician last week, and the plumber has finally (sort of) reemerged after beginning the rough-in a YEAR ago, and my own living situation is finally back out of complete shambles, and life will go on and the house will get done and then I can stop feeling shitty about bad decisions I made when I was younger and dumber. Well, at least one of them.

Mekko is the best dog. We’ve also been dealing with some health stuff over the past few months, requiring visits to vet offices in 3 different states and a whole lotta money. It’s certainly not good but seems to be surmountable (yay!), and it’s been stressful and expensive and basically I’m trying to not freak out. I lost one dog 7 months ago. I refuse to entertain that this could resolve any way other than completely fine and she’ll go on to be the longest-living dog on record and then I’ll clone her. So anyway. That’s been awful, no lie, but could be way worse. Surgery, again, this Friday. Sigh.

I’ve bought some stuff. You know, since the last time I showed you some stuff I bought. I like pretty old stuff.

So that’s basically what’s up in my little corner of the world. What’s up in your little corner of the world? Do we want to hear about any of the above items in particular more than others? Watched any good TV lately?

Here! There! Everywhere! published first on https://novaformmattressreview.tumblr.com/

[carygarman980]

Here! There! Everywhere!

OH HELLO! It’s June! How did that happen?! There’s so much going on. Let’s run it down in no particular order because my brain’s all over the place.

The gang is back together! Edwin, Edgar and I are in the midst of building a large-and-in-charge wraparound front porch on a circa-1900 house in Kingston! Perhaps I should say rebuilding, since the porch was demolished long ago. So we’re constructing a close resemblance of the original porch, based on the bits of information we have—a few photos, dimensions from old tax assessment records, and the few pieces of the original porch that remained. It’s a big huge project that’s been in the works for a couple of YEARS now, so it’s super exciting that it’s finally happening. It’s also daunting! Partially because it’s HUGE at almost 800 square feet, and partially because it’s a significant addition that will completely change the appearance of this old house and I have to make it look right and like it’s always been there! Part of my job is keeping everyone occupied and PAID, so aside from this big project I’ve also been hustling my ass around town on a bunch of smaller projects that the guys can hit when it rains, or a product order is late, or whatever. It’s kinda a lot to manage.

Let me tell you a story! Last summer, I reluctantly dove into the waters of Instagram Stories while we were working on a different house just outside of Kingston. Admittedly, I’m an extremely rare story-watcher, but evidently I’m a semi-prolific story-maker. It’s fun! It’s easy! As we know by now, as much as I like to write, I frequently struggle with actually having the time to dedicate entire blog posts to stuff that I plan to dedicate entire blog posts to while they’re happening, so Instagram Stories have been a nice alternate way to document things in real time. If you’re not following me already, first of all get your life together, and second of all go find me @DanielKanter. Then just keep an eye out for new posts, I guess! I try to archive the more relevant bits into the Highlights feature at the top of my profile, if you need to catch up a little on the aforementioned porch project.

What’s that you say? A different house outside of Kingston? Yeah! I guess if you don’t follow me on Instagram, you wouldn’t have a way of knowing about the cool quirky old farmhouse the guys and I renovated last summer/fall/winter! Honestly it was another doozy—not quite Olivebridge proportions, but still managed to go from a couple changes and a bunch of sprucing up to a top-to-bottom overhaul of…everything? 2 bathrooms! Kitchen! Laundry! All the rooms! The whole outside! Mechanicals! The bulk of the work ended in February but I just did a final install last week. I have to go back and photograph it but it’s nice to have this 8-week-turned-8-month project off my plate a bit.

Speaking of Olivebridge. If you read even one of those tumultuous posts about the Olivebridge house, I owe you some resolution. We don’t have to get into all the mostly-stupid reasons that hasn’t yet come to pass, but I haven’t forgotten. Honestly the fact that I haven’t blogged about it makes me feel like the book is still open on that project—in spite of the house’s successful completion!—and that feeling sucks so it’s high time to get my shit together on that front. MAYBE IT COULD ACTUALLY BE FUN! At the very least I think it will really and truly feel finished in terms of big life events I’d never want to repeat. Ha!

5 years! So I didn’t even think about it until the day after, but Friday marked the five year anniversary of owning my house! What a journey we’ve been on, this house and I. I still love it. I’m still overwhelmed by it. There are still parts of it I haven’t tackled and a lot of other parts in some stage of progress, but (knock on ALL the wood) I think the worst of the renovation is pretty much over and that feels GOOD. The past 2 years or so were particularly rocky, but it’s finally started to feel like a real home again—my home—and I’m more grateful than ever that I get to call this special house mine.

Laundry! Kitchen! Anticipating that this summer would be exactly as crazy as it’s shaping up to be, I set some concrete goals for myself and my renovation for the first four months of the year. We can talk about this more later, but experience is a valuable thing—and it’s taught me that working on multiple major renovation projects at different properties at the same time is a recipe for inefficiency and frazzled-ness and general misery, but I also obviously can’t just work on my own house all the time. So, I try to give myself a little time between client projects to re-focus on my own stuff and get as much done as I can. May 1st became the goal for having a functioning laundry room, a functioning kitchen, and doing some MAJOR clean-up and space-reclamation everywhere else once the first two items were accomplished and there’d be a bit more room to spread out. I DID IT! Having laundry again is amazing and having it on the second floor lights up my life. The kitchen is FAR from complete, but IT HAS WALLS and electric and plumbing—enough to hook up a sink, move in a few of my old cabinets, and start using the space again AS A KITCHEN for the first time in almost 2 years. And now that my dining room isn’t also a kitchen, and my living room isn’t also an enormous glorified dog kennel, I spent a weekend just rearranging my own shit for hours and now those two rooms look and feel so much better than they have in a LONG TIME. I even had two friends over for dinner! Like I said—still a ton to do, but getting to this point of basic usability feels huge.

So interior progress at my house will slow, but hopefully exterior work will continue. There’s a lot to do on the outside of my house—between gardening on the street-facing sides (and just maintaining what I have!), finally putting the finishing touches on the major exterior work that started last summer and the one before, and trying to get SOMETHING good going on in the backyard, I hope I can bang it out in my “free time” before fall/winter hits again. I’ve already decided that this summer I’m going to skip tearing off more vinyl siding in favor of just polishing off what’s already started—I can’t stand all the loose ends out there right now.

I have a major itch to landscape. Or hardscape maybe, more specifically? Getting the backyard just to square one was so labor-intensive and expensive that gathering the motivation (or setting aside the time, with the house itself needing so much attention!) to do much else with it has been tough. I’ve done two things that helped get my ass in gear, though: first, I asked a friend with a great garden to help me prioritize and plan and make a few decisions. FRIENDS! THEY’RE SO HELPFUL! Second, the Brinson’s invited me last minute to the Trade Secrets garden show in Connecticut, where we toured 3 amazing gardens including living legend Bunny Williams’ property, which I really just need to do a photo-dump kind of blog post about because it was so insanely good. Going to see this stuff IN MY CLIMATE (“omg, I can actually grow that too!!!”) was really valuable and the whole thing was for-real inspiring. Like I literally got home and began construction on a dry-stacked bluestone wall because I just had to get my inspo-overload ya-yas out somehow.

But don’t get carried away about my house, because there’s still Bluestone Cottage. I feel I owe a longer explanation about this than I want to get into right this instant, but long and short of it is—I MUST finish that house. Personally, professionally, emotionally, physically, financially—it needs to happen. I think I successfully enlisted an electrician last week, and the plumber has finally (sort of) reemerged after beginning the rough-in a YEAR ago, and my own living situation is finally back out of complete shambles, and life will go on and the house will get done and then I can stop feeling shitty about bad decisions I made when I was younger and dumber. Well, at least one of them.

Mekko is the best dog. We’ve also been dealing with some health stuff over the past few months, requiring visits to vet offices in 3 different states and a whole lotta money. It’s certainly not good but seems to be surmountable (yay!), and it’s been stressful and expensive and basically I’m trying to not freak out. I lost one dog 7 months ago. I refuse to entertain that this could resolve any way other than completely fine and she’ll go on to be the longest-living dog on record and then I’ll clone her. So anyway. That’s been awful, no lie, but could be way worse. Surgery, again, this Friday. Sigh.

I’ve bought some stuff. You know, since the last time I showed you some stuff I bought. I like pretty old stuff.

So that’s basically what’s up in my little corner of the world. What’s up in your little corner of the world? Do we want to hear about any of the above items in particular more than others? Watched any good TV lately?