#insta crushed the quality lol

[what-inthe-goddamn]

Lost Connection

One of my fallout mutuals on insta has a dtiys contest rn, so I made an entry!

[the-slayer-of-demons]

blugh

i feel so alone irl rn at uni because every single person who talks to me or considers me a friend is a gendie/tra (cringe to describe them like this but it is the easiest way of saying it). half of them are nonbinary he/they tims who think they dont have privilege anymore because of pronouns (and have all the other usual qualities of moids i hate the modt aka porn addiction. actually one of them doesnt watch porn anymore [I THINK HE JS LYING TBH] so thats cool but he calls himself pansexual like a loser so) and the other half are selfhating tifs with eds and scoff at the mention of international womens day. all they post about on their insta stories are things about trans genocide and they try to talk to me about the same trans stuff over and over again and its like How do i tell you i dont care abour this shit without being labeled as something (a terf) and gettjng kicked out of my libfem university (im being dramatic, i just dont wanna have to deal with drama in a friendgrouo that comes from having a difference in opinion).

i loved meeting and hanging out with the gyns in my state but we cant do that all the time because we're all busy and spread out.

i think im just tired of having to censor myself all the time around irls but i feel like there is no one else i can be friends with because there are no radfems/rad leaning women that i know of on my campus. how i feel extends to a few online friends as well because theyre all tifs + libfems. AND THE WOMAN I HAVE/HAD(?) a crush on was like "Um why sid you say something positive about jkr lol...." which immediately made me not want to have anything to do with her but we have been friends for so long idek what to do!

Anyways. this is a long post full of rambling i just needed to get it out of my brain. i feel like that post thats like "i wish i never peaked because it hurts knowing these things but i know im safer and happier knowing these things" or however it goes

[talesofaprettygirl]

Some of the things I’ve consciously manifested over the years!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

✨$3,000 🤑

-Used the (5x55) technique and a month later received 3k out of the blue.

✨$15,000 💰

-Funny story, I entered a competition for 10k that I was positive I would win. I did not win but weeks later received 10k all at once from elsewhere. When I got the 10k, I was like god this is amazing wish I could get an extra 5k and the very next day I DID.

✨Being in a music video and $100+ 🎶 💵

-This a manifestation within a manifestation. I’ve always wanted to be in a music video in general. Anyway this one time I was so broke I asked the out loud to the universe for $100. I swear an hour later I got an email from my agent that I got picked to be in a music video and they were paying $100 per person but he request I get paid $150.

✨My ideal bestie 👭🏾

-I wrote a list of qualities for my ideal type of friend(s). A month later I met this wonderful, wonderful woman who literally checked off everything I wanted in a friend! Also I’ve never had a bff that I loved more!

✨My soulmate aka my dog 🐕

-I always thought I wanted a male labradoodle. I even asked to be gifted one for my bday. Two months before my bday I’m cruising and this adorable dog came running pass my car out of nowhere. She was a little brown/black Yorkie Terrier mix and I ending keeping her! Turns out not only do I love little dogs way more but when I was younger all I ever wanted was a yorkie anyway. Also I love that she’s a girl because tbh I’m a girls girl.

✨My EX 👎🏾

-I saw a list for “best gifts for your boyfriend” and saved it. At the time I did NOT have a bf lol. A year later I have a bf and when it was time for his birthday I checked my notes for this list, turns out I saved this list EXACTLY on his birthday. Also he checked off most of things on my list but I learned there are just certain qualities in a man that I don’t actually want lol.

✨My dream apartment 🏠

-I was hastily looking for a place to stay in Paris a while back and I took the first place that told me yes. I barely toured the place and all because I was running out of time. Well it turns out that this place had EVERYTHING I wanted. A private courtyard, loft style, a big tub, and in the center of the city for the exact amount I wanted to pay per month. Not only that but it was a mere 10 mins walk from the place I was previously staying at, thus making my move a breeze. Didn’t even notice all of this till I actually moved in.

✨Cute model from Instagram 😍

-I was crushing on this model on Instagram who lived in NY for a long time. For my birthday I would always go to NY and while on the subway I was like “Wouldn’t it be funny if I saw him?” I kid you not I step off with my friends and boom there he is. I was shook. We made eye contact and everything, my friend even ran up to him was like “Are you blank?” And he goes, “Uh yeah?!” Then I pulled her away and told him we’ve just seen him on insta and quickly walked away. 😂

✨Weightloss 💪🏾

-This one is the one I have trouble wrapping my head around because it was so crazy. I remember the exact moment so vividly. I was looking in the library mirror and DECIDED I was going to be fit no matter what. I swear on Chanel in that instant my pants got looser on me. Idk if I was already loosing weight and didn’t notice or what but I instantaneously felt/became thinner.

✨My friend’s ex coming back ❤️

-My friend was heart broken that her bf would not speak to her anymore. She knew I was all about manifesting and I tried to get her into it but she was skeptical. So I told her “He will come back, watch it be a Wednesday night and he will text you out of the blue”. Guess what? A week later on Wednesday night she finally got a text from him.

✨My dad winning $300 🎰

-My dad likes going to the casino for fun and he is quite lucky but was having a bad streak. So I told him, “I bet you’ll win $300 tonight!” That night he won $278.

✨Blueberry jam 🫐

-This one is silly. I was making a sandwich and wanted jam on it. I rarely eat jelly and I know that my family only likes and buys pineapple jam. There would be no reason for us to have any other type of jelly. As soon as I open the cabinet I immediately see a jar of jelly turned away and as I grab it I think “I want blueberry” and that’s exactly what it was.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[strawberryshortcakegirl]

Guac and Evie Rewatch: 1.02 of HSMTMTS

Hi!! Went on vacation for a while but the rewatch blogs are back!

Why is it that all I remember from the Read-Through episode was chaos

I love how Big Red simply acknowledges that EJ is basically a Hollister model and then you see EJ's promo pic for Season 3 and it all makes sense

Okay so right now Nini is talking about if you look in the background there's like some tickets and flyers for musicals and things hung up in her room. And we all know Nini's phone case is a Playbill phone case too. I just feel like Season 2 Nini kinda ditched her love of musicals way too fast

So I just searched up Throb and realized that it's not an actual smell/perfume or whatever. My whole life is a lie.

OKAY BUT IMAGINE SOMEONE JUST COMES UP TO YOU AT A MALL AND SPRAYS PERFUME ON YOU-

EJ calling Ashlyn the bomb proves that this was filmed in 2019

Time for mental health time with Evie! Okay we see that EJ says that he's only pretending to be happy about playing Chad on his Insta story because inside he's a "bucket of sadness." It's obvious that his goal on Instagram is to seem like a person who has his life figured out and gets whatever he wants. Therefore, he says "blessed to be playing Chad" as if that's the part he wanted all along and he was expecting it.

Idk why they are so amazed by the rehearsal room

How does Miss Jenn not know that Natalie Bagley is the stage manager lol

This has bothered me since day one: Miss Jenn goes from Gb major to F major when singing We're All in This Together. Still the high note was amazing and I relate to Gina mouthing "yessss" after hearing it

"Abysmal read through, a brilliant opening night" I think a more accurate quote from my experience would be "Abysmal rehearsal, a mediocre opening night" but whatever

Big Red I mean if you took the SATs every week you would get better at it and then you could turn in your actual highest score... 😏

SEB IS SO CUTE WHEN HE SAYS I JUST WANNA RAISE THE ROOF GAHHH

Carlos and Miss Jenn just scrolling through Zac Efron's Instagram while they wait for the blocking rehearsal to start is a mood

Shouldn't Miss Jenn be reported for making two exes kiss? Especially since one of them specifically states that she doesn't want to

DATING HER DOESN'T MEAN YOU OWN HER ASHLYN QUEEN I'm currently trying to get my friend to learn that CRUSHING on her doesn't mean you own her -_-

Carlos and Gina knowing the Big Book of Broadway kinda predicts their friendship in Season 2 which is pretty cool

Honestly the dancers in this show are legendary

I think when I first watched the series, I always hated Ricky and him being all desperate until he talked about his parents going through some trouble. I like how they added that in early. It gives more depth to Ricky's character than him just chasing after Nini

How come Nini's room is twice the size of my room T_T

You can tell Gina is just talking to Ricky so she can get Gabriella but eventually later in the conversation, she gets much more real and genuine

Ricky dancing to HSM at midnight hit too close to home

Ashlyn just playing piano in the empty auditorium is somehow kinda majestic. Idk why. And she was so unpopular in Season 1. When she saw Nini, she immediately said she could leave immediately. And then in Season 2 she was the lead <3

TODAY I LEARNED THAT MISS JENN SAID BATHS KEEP ME SANE NOT BATS

Yeah I would kill for an autograph from Andrew Lloyd Weber so I'm not judging

WONDERING IS THE BEST SONG OF SEASON 1 AND I WILL FOREVER STAND BY THAT. It's so raw because it's live. Tim has wrecked that now with the autotune in Season 2 and 3. Bring back the quality from Wondering Tim

The whole gigantic package just to hold Vanessa Hudgen's (V-Hudge's... O_o") phone though

Haha Portwell was so different back then

I do think it's truly excellent that the two villains of Season 1 became two of the most beloved characters of the show.

Welp that's the end!! Btw these are now called Guac and Evie rewatches :)

[omgrubyyyy]

Gonna type stuff down agian. I realized that I don’t get as much notifications as I do anymore so that’s they rn as I’m typing this I have my ringer on so I can hear the typing sounds. I like how the typing sounds for iPhone is. But I’m kinda thinking of wanting a Samsung flip phone (I had to turn off my ringer bcs my brother was coming down and I hate it when he knows I’m up) it’s so cute like the themes and stuff so so cute. I really want it even tho the quality aunt that good. But idk I don’t really take pics that often. Mostly bcs my back camera of my iPhone is broken. Well not broken just don’t work. Like I have to ask this one person every time during drawing and painting if they can take a pic of my homework and I feel so bad asking every single time. But ya. Also today I did the barre app agian but this time abs. I didn’t think it did much for me. I’ll just use it for legs and butt now bcs i know for a fact it will work for that. Very excited to see the process that I will see with this app. Also talking about dance. So I texted my coach today bcs yesterday she sent an email and try out and in that email she included the new try out dates. Found out WE ARE GONNA HAVE A 5 HOUR PRACTICE. A FIVE HOUR PRACTICE FOR TRYOUTS. FUCKING TRYOUTS. But it wasn’t intentional bcs she said that she had to make it that long bcs the school didnt allow her more days only 3. Also we have a practice an hour before the try out. So ya for that I’m just not gonna leave. I’ll just stay there for the hour. Hope my friend does too. Also found out that one of upcoming juniors was asked for her phone number like 5 times this SZN like doesn’t the coach have her phone number it’s so so weird like your the coach. Also one of the seniors got their insta hacked and I almost fell for the think too that the hacker sent. Was so grate full bcs it was sketch I don’t even know why I even clicked it. But tomorrow I’m excited for homeroom I love reading during homeroom and I cant wait for my outfit tomorrow it’s gonna be so comfy and cute. I’m gonna wear (had to stop here bcs i had to open the front door) burgundy sweatpants that my mom got from Walmart, a black long sleeve, and a necklace. I cant wait and I am thinking of wearing a cute ponytail bcs i look good in them. So ya. Also I had to do a Flipgrid today and like at first I was just gonna do a voice but I did a video bcs i thought I looked good. So ya confidence. Also yesterday I started watching a show called lolirock apparently it is French show and Thomas Astruc was working one it and IMMEDIATELY it was so similar to miraculous and apparently it’s good to according to a editing miraculous ac. Maybe I’ll watch and episode after I’m done with this. Ya in just mostly excited to wear my outfit and hair tomorrow so exited. Might even add some eyeliner and that white thing that I have too in the corner of my eyes. So so excited. Ya also studied for my chem exam I feel a bit more confident about what I’m doing. I know the terms. Now it’s just the problems. I can find the limiting reactant which is the reactant that limits the amount of other reactants to combine and the amount of products formed (lol if did that so I could study) but ya now I just feel a bit more confident on that and the yield shit. Also tomorrow I have a speech I hope I do well. It’s on teen drug use and I only went over the limit like by 30-40 secs which is o le 0.5 point off not bad from the 6 mins That I had the first time I practiced. Lol My friend just sent me a another IMessage game. I crushed her at 8ball. I’m good at 8ball. I miss my friend from like 5 th grade I don’t see her anymore like everytime she wanted to see me I couldn’t bcs i was doing something dance related. So so sad when she said that I was doing on the day that I had state and I told her I was 3 hours away from her. I was so so sad if I was home and I saw her I would never let her go. She is the first friend where I felt like myself and she is just the best. I miss her so so much. Ya that’s about it I think I must just watch one episode of lolirock.

[dahlwatchesmiraculous]

Why I think adrienette shouldn’t happen until season 5

Note: this analysis doesn’t take season 4 into account, since I haven’t seen any new episodes yet lol

Anyway this is mostly inspired by my frustration with the idea of a reveal happening before adrien and marinette get together.

TLDR: I think marinette and adrien need to become closer friends before pursuing anything romantic, while also giving themselves time to emotionally mature

Finding out their secret identities will have consequences for both marinette and adrien obviously, but especially if they haven’t had a chance to grow as individuals. These consequences would definitely worsen if the reveal is out of their control (like one of them, or someone else completely, finds out by accident, or they’re forced to reveal themselves during some dangerous event)

Ive always been against reveal theories that didn’t include ladybug and chat noir prepared and intentionally willing to reveal their identities. I hate the idea of them having to show their true selves when they’re not ready for it, and it’s only out of necessity or desperation. It’s there secret to share, especially when it comes to chat noir. Adrien doesn’t have any control in his life. Being chat noir is his only chance at experiencing freedom, it’s more than just a secret to him I feel. It’s a very intimate and significant part of his life. It’s the only thing he actually has control over. So if we have marinette, or someone else secretly finding out about his identity, then we’re taking away the only control he has in his life, and it’s really not fair to do that to him.

But let’s say the reveal is a consensual and conscientious decision. I still don’t think it should happen any time soon, because our main characters have a lot of development they need to go through before being able to handle the truth of the superhero identities.

By the end of season 3, Marinette still has a pretty one dimensional understanding of who Adrien is. Sure they may have had a few key moments in their friendship, but I dont think that’s enough for her to see his “chat noir” side. She still thinks of him as this “dreamy perfect boy” but he’s a lot more than that, she’s just never able to see it bc her feelings get in her way and makes her way shy. Of course she’s interacted with Adrien as chat noir and knows what his personality is like, but I really do think she needs to be able to associate that personality with Adrien too, not just chat noir. Because in that case, they might as well be two different people, yknow?? If they get together as soon as a reveal happens, it’ll feel so forced bc neither of them will have really gotten the chance to process the person they’re actually in love with. I think it’d be easier for Adrien to process it, because he’s compared marinette to ladybug, and he’s already aware of the kind of person marinette is deep down (some may even argue that he’s definitely in love with her already but is fighting those feelings for her) But marinette doesn’t really know who Adrien is, and I don’t think revealing their identities would acknowledge that?? She needs to have real deep connections with Adrien so she can understand why she loves him!! Bc right now her crush is p surface level

That’s why I didn’t actually mind lukanette all that much?? I mean, personally I just want them to be close friends, that way it doesn’t seem like he’s just being tossed aside when adrienette becomes canon. But luka could at least help her become more confident and to learn how to embrace herself?? The only way she’ll be able to learn the true sides of Adrien is if she’s able to talk to him without freaking out, and he’ll be more willing to talk to her and show himself once he sees that she’s comfortable around him??? Then the real work towards their relationship can happen bc once she sees adriens true personality, and the big reveal happens, she can understand why she does have feelings for Adrien/chat noir

A strong friendship is also really important for Adrien’s development as well. Right now, he uses chat noir as his escape. He feels like he can’t be himself around people because of his father’s cruel parenting, which has led him to feel that if he shows any true part of himself he won’t be accepted by the people he cares about. If there’s some sort of public reveal (like during a battle or something) then Adrien will have to deal with the fact that people don’t see the real him, causing him to feel like he’s lost those connections bc they don’t really know him. Right now he doesn’t feel like he can be himself and a public reveal would just make that worse. He needs to learn that he doesn’t have to hide his true qualities for people to like him. And how does he learn this?? THROUGH MARINETTE and specifically through a closer friendship. We already know adrien thinks very highly of marinette, but why?? Because she’s never afraid to be her true self (except when it comes to her feelings for him, but he doesn’t even notice that so we can disregard that). Marinette wears her heart on her sleeve, she’s always willing to fight for what she believes in. If they’re closer friends, she can help him realize that being himself is okay. Failing to accept both sides of him can have v serious impacts on his sense of identity, especially if it ends up being a public reveal. He won’t know who to be or how to act, he’ll be afraid that anything he does will be perceived as wrong. But if their friendship comes before any sort of reveal, he can shape his identity to be the way he wants it to be without the fear of being rejected

I feel like I just kept repeating the same thing over and over in different ways. But to summarize: adrienette can’t happen suddenly, especially not immediately after they reveal their identities. They individually need to work on themselves (Adrien becoming comfortable showing his true personality, and marinette learning to be more confident) and work on their friendship before they get together, that way when the reveal does happen they can understand who the other person really is and why they love them, especially to avoid an “insta-love” situation. If they don’t have a better established relationship, then they’re essentially falling in love with the idea of each other and not their actual true selves.

[swynlake-spill]

Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.

ok i’ll try here we go 

@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR 

@rikuxnakayama sir  i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POST 

@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENT 

@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR

@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are js 

@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasy 

@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use it 

@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smile 

@babettexdurand seeing u makes me go  🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 sincerely do not think there are words... 

@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :) 

@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissed 

@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously! 

@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlake’s hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet she’d post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!! 

@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think he’s hot you’re lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen

@notmuchofatail he’s been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying. 

@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like you’re not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free. 

@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and we’d all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram

@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park! 

@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here he’s this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh

@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!! 

@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously! 

@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize you’re like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. you’re hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if you’re comfortable so you can flaunt it! 

@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know. 

@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! you’re cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!! 

@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. she’s beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell. 

@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please) 

@gabriella-marino you know what’s the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think you’re so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram! 

@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!

[yeocult]

ATEEZ as high school students

HONGJOONG the art kid

he’s that one kid who never pays attention during class but gets good grades anyways

you can find him in two places; in the art room painting away or sitting on that staircase that nobody takes making music

everyone loves him, all the teacher loves him, your mom loves him

fall asleep in class and when he’s caught he’ll be like “i was just thinking”

probably has a large following on insta

really hardworking though

knows exactly what he wants to do in life already

has questionable fashion sense but that’s what makes him unique and stand out

really friendly to everyone but lowkey two-faced lol

SEONGHWA the stressed one

ALWAYS stressed

please give him some rest

comes to class with coffee every morning

really smart and studies hard

tutors for a certain amount (mans gotta make money)

gets pissed at them when they don’t understand lol

has the best homemade lunch

everyone has a crush on him but he’s only open to his close friends

will be a kiss ass to the teacher if he needs to

definitely has that bad boy vibes but is really sweet

usually hangs out with hongjoong or yeosang

has aesthetic study inspo quality notes

probably majoring in respecting women after high school

YUNHO the teacher’s pet

all the teachers favorite him and it shows

gets average grades

type of friend to wait for you when you tie your shoelace or go to the washroom with you

very social but only sticks to his group of friends

knows all the tea and drama

probably gossiping with wooyoung

can be too nice :( even to people who don’t deserve it

will not hesitate to call someone out for littering/not recycling

we love a sweetheart who cares for the environment

type of say after school to help out different clubs even if he’s not in them (not in any club since he’s not committed enough)

YEOSANG the emo kid

wears black 8 days a week

quiet and brutal

whenever he opens his mouth it’s borderline offensive

can’t stand people who doesn’t get his humor or jokes  

always has earbuds in a beanie

(have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? THAT’S WEIRD) (sorrynotsorry)

very introverted around people but just straight up weird around his friends

doesn’t socialize much but talk shit about him or his friends, you’ll get DESTROYED (keep in mind he’s the second strongest of ateez)

has the shittiest handwriting, it’s like trying to crack a code

but he’s really smart and is good at studying

bribes his teacher occasionally

SAN the church boy

try hard in school

asks seonghwa for help almost every day because he wants consistent grades

he’s really smart though, just insecure about his abilities :(

acts all gangsta at first but then his dimples show

big softie for his friends

respects women and his seniors

i feel like he’s in debate team (i mean just watch how defensive he got about correcting hwa about sliver power ranger)

definitely in choir (have y’all seen predebut church boy san??)

plays volleyball as well (he played libero)

is there anything he’s not good at??

gets so loud and annoying with woo and mingi

films all the dumb shit woo does

him + woo = 2 in 1 package

MINGI the slacker

doesn’t even try in school

but still manage to get decent grades

does projects last minute

uses short people as armrests

he’s a social butterfly

people will say they’re friends with him but he doesn’t even remember half the people he talks to

somehow blew up on tik tok and instagram and woo is jealous

you can hear his music through his earbuds (are his ears okay???)

if his friends do something embarrassing like trip, he’ll do the same so they won’t feel embarrassed

a sweet heart

steals everyone's food

confidence level 100000 (we love our leo king)

before every test he’s like “i’ve never failed a test since birth”

clings onto yunho, just two giants vibing

WOOYOUNG the class clown

everyone views him as a fukboi but he surprising is good at school (mostly bc hwa will give him shit for having bad grades)

always with san and together they are so ANNOYING

most likely to become a frat boy

loves organizing parties and surprising good at making ppl who usually don’t go attend his parties (aka yeosang)

everyone loves-hate him

really good looking and he KNOWS IT

his laugh is really contagious (it’s what gets him all the bitches

hwa always has to watch him or he’ll do some stupid shit

will not shut up for one second

probably has a big following on tik tok or some shit

“i’m here for a good time not a long time”

JONGHO the jock

in every sports team you can think of

in the rugby team? soccer team? archery???

he’s in all

always has some sort of injury tho

laid back

he’s just naturally good at everything including school

the designated driver at parties since he can hold acohol pretty well

the school’s treasure, won most of their medals

really mature for his age

always has his friend’s back

answers teacher’s questions correctly even if they think he wasn’t listening

he’ll just be like “hah you thought”

good at keeping everyone’s secrets

really nice and friendly with everyone

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

Who are you tumblr crushes. I need some more quality Pedro pascal blogs to follow on here and I need guidance !

Ok so. I love and adore all you crazy bitches on this hell site. Most of my fave blogs I love cause of the fic so I hope you’re into that kind of thing lol. Seriously just go and traverse the Pedro Pascal tag and you’ll find some real gems lol. A few blogs that I find myself reblogging and or checking constantly however are:

@rzrcrst writes BOMB ASS fic. She’s one of a handful who write for his movie Prospect and friend, her Ezra is PERFECTION.

@stevieharrrr is another writer, she does a Mando fic and Woman, a Javi fic that honestly owns my entire ass. And she’s just hilarious

@themandadlorianbod will satisfy all your dad bod Pedro needs. And she always manages to find, like, deep dive insta pics of him, idk how she does it lol

@pascalisthepunkest maintains the definitive masterlists of fic for Pedro and his characters, you’d be doing yourself a disservice to not check her out

@pajamasecrets has some kick ass gif sets and also ships javi/steve, a ship very close to my heart lol

@spacegayofficial writes fic, she’s got a Mando/OC one that’s amazing that you can also find on ao3. And writes Cara fic for me whenever I request it which just makes her tops in my book cause my girl Cara needs some more love lol

@zeldasayer writes some really fucking HOT fic and imagines and hcs. Read her Whiskey and Gin series and pretty much anything to do with Maxwell Lord. But make sure to have the fire department on standby

@astrolo-galaxy also writes amazing fic. Esp make sure to check out her Sir Is for the Bedroom series. (And she just wrote a Max Phillips fic oh my GOD)

Fuck there are so many more, @pedrothirst @bonkybaaarnes @takemepedropascal @thewaythisis @nolivingthingdroid @cptnbvcks @no-droids and TONS of others. For real, just browse the tags and see who pops up, you really won’t be disappointed by following any of these blogs.

[dc41896]

Champagne Showers-Mini Imagine (1)

Ok so me and @fumbling-fanfics were talking about when he posted this on his insta, and I was saying how the video of him spraying Joe with the champagne (I’m guessing..?) gave me two separate ideas for imagines but I didn’t know which one to write. Long story short here’s one of the 2 short imagines based on said video 😂. The second one I’ll put in a separate post 😊

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by LEWIS TAN (@lewistanofficial) on Dec 13, 2019 at 10:57pm PST

Today was the day you had been waiting for and you couldn’t be more excited. Your husband would finally be returning home from close to a year of filming and you were more than ready to see him in person instead of over the phone via Skype or FaceTime.

Just as you dropped him off at the airport, you planned to pick him up too and spend the rest of the day together finally able to spend a bit of quality time as husband and wife. Because filming started soon after your wedding, you chose not to have a honeymoon so he could complete his last bit of preparation before leaving.

⚔️❤️Boo Tan❤️⚔️: Hey I’m looking on the screen and it says I have a couple more hours until I’m home 😝

Y/N: Yay!!! I’m excited!!! Can’t wait to see you at the house 🥰

⚔️❤️Boo Tan❤️⚔️: Wait what? I thought you were picking me up?

Y/N: Oh...I thought you were getting an Uber👀?

⚔️❤️Boo Tan❤️⚔️: I mean I can if you’re busy

Y/N: I’m kidding! 😂 Do you really think I’d let you take an Uber home? I’ll leave the house in an hour so I can be there in time

⚔️❤️Boo Tan❤️⚔️: I would hope not but then again idk you might be busy! Lol and ok so by an hour than means 2 and I’ll be waiting for you outside then? 😏

Y/N: Haha such a comedian 🙄😂, no I mean an hour smarty. Keep it up and you won’t get the second part of your surprise😌

⚔️❤️Boo Tan❤️⚔️: Surprises?! 👀🥺 ok I’m sorry don’t be mad. LOVE YOU!!! 😘😘

Y/N: Mhmm yea now you say you love me when I mention surprises lmao

~~~~~~

Just as you said, you arrived at the airport about 40 minutes early and decided to wait in the lobby. Plus given the chance that his flight arrived early, you’d be there ready to go.

Y/N: Hey! Just got to the airport, waiting near the gift shop 🥰

Sitting in the leather seat, you felt as if time was slowly ticking by. Every time you looked at the time thinking five or 10 minutes had passed, you were sadly proven wrong by the clock only increasing by one or two minutes.

To keep yourself busy, you scrolled through your Instagram feed, as bystandards passed by. Although you didn’t look up, you could hear excited squeals and ‘welcome home’s as families and couples were reunited.

You tried not think about it, but the more you heard and occasionally saw it made you more anxious to see Lewis. This was the first time you guys were separated for a long period of time and although you hated it, you knew it was part of his job.

Nearly finished watching your third makeup tutorial, your screen was interrupted with a notification from Lewis.

⚔️❤️Boo Tan❤️⚔️: Just landed. See you in a few ❤️😘

Y/N: 😍😍 Ok!! Meet you by the luggage spinning thing? Don’t judge you know what I’m talking about 😂

Heart racing, you paced back and forth trying not to miss your husband when he finally appeared, although you knew it would be hard to miss him seeing as though his stature was very distinct.

Soon though, you see a black ball cap through the crowd paired with shades, a simple grey tee, jeans, and converse walking towards you and causing all your anxiousness to immediately disappear. You told yourself ahead of time that you wouldn’t be one of those dramatic couples in movies that crash into each other and have this grand reunion in front of everyone.

However, your limbs seemed to have a mind of their own as they made you take off towards him and jump into his arms wrapping your legs around him. Kissing him, you feel all eyes on the both of you, but you don’t care or even think about it.

So much for not being THAT couple.

“I take it that I was missed a lot,” he laughs as your reunion is momentarily interrupted. Burying your face in his neck you nod your head, taking in his cologne that you loved so much.

You also didn’t expect yourself to cry, but again your body did what it wanted to do and you were just the vessel that happen to be part of it.

“Aww it’s ok babe don’t cry I’m here!,” he soothes, rubbing your back. “I know, I’m just so happy to see you,” you respond, leaning up to meet his eyes, now visible from him removing his shades.

“I’m happy to see you too love,” he smiles, showing those heart melting dimples.

~~~~~~

After getting his luggage, you both made your way home to start your evening together. You drove as Lewis sat reclined in the passenger seat holding your hand that he occasionally peppered with kisses.

Of course during the ride he kept asking about the surprises trying to make you spill, to which you either told him no to not ruin it or tried to distract him by changing the subject.

“Please keep your eyes closed. I’m too short to reach up there so I’m trusting you to do it,” you instruct using one hand to lead him up the walkway to your house and the other rolling one of his bags.

“I promise my eyes are completely shut. Here I can let your hand go and try to make it to the front door myself,” he replies about to let your hand go to hold his out in front of him.

“No no, let’s not do that and you end up falling in a bush somewhere,” you laugh opening the door. “Ok stand here and don’t open them until I say.”

Letting his hand go, you close the door behind you and place his bags beside it. The only thing that could be heard was your sneakers against the hardwood floor as you moved about the house getting what you needed. “Ok now you can open.”

Revealing his brown eyes, he immediately smiles, mouth slightly agape in shock, seeing the floor filled with balloons as well as black lettered balloons along the wall that read “Happy Wrap!” Before he could say anything, the pop of a champagne bottle made him slightly jump followed by liquid spraying out and covering his clothes from you shaking the bottle.

He tried to run to avoid any further hits from the foaming drink, but you were just as quick keeping up with his every move. “Happy Wrap Day babe!!,” you shout as the bottle seems done with what all it would spray out. “I know it’s not technically today and you guys already celebrated, but I still wanted to do something.”

“Aww thank you, I love it! And there’s nothing wrong with celebrating more than once,” he smiles scooping you up in a bear hug as you wrap your arms around his neck. “So this was the big surprise huh? Spraying me with champagne?”

“Part of it yes,” you laugh kissing his cheek before escaping his grasp to run into the kitchen to get the final surprise. As you returned, you held a small circular cake that had “Welcome Home!” written in red icing in your hands.

“Welcome home love!”

“I cannot believe you did all this for me,” Lewis smiles using his finger to lick some of the buttercream icing off the cake. “Well you deserve it for doing such an amazing job,” you respond before being brought to his lips by his gentle hands.

Taglist: @fumbling-fanfics @honeychicana @crushed-pink-petals @themyscxiras @lady-olive-oil @melinda-january @felicity-x0 @lovelymari4 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @nina-sj @itshinothey @wildfirecracker

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged and doesn’t see their name, or only wants to be tagged for certain people I write about, just let me know 🤓

[toxicxxmyth]

Dating Richard Camacho headcanon

Authors Note: This all over the place lmao so bear with me. I also got a little carried away oops.

Y’all prolly met at the club or a house party tbh(like almost every other Richard fic :’)

And you were there looking bomb as ever ;)

And he was there looking fine as ever ;)

And you were just in a corner talking to a few friends when he sat beside you

At first it wasn’t a big deal bc it’s a couch..hello

But when y’all got a good look at each other’s faces under the smoke and blue laser lights

Y’all were like

:0

So that’s how you met, lol

It might’ve taken a long time for you guys to actually start dating

With him being so private and secure when it comes to relationships

And you having bad experience with relationships

You guys took it slow, yet you both considered each other as your s/o even if you guys haven’t even shared a kiss

And after, let’s say, four months, y’all started dating

Anyway

Starting now with and actual headcanon

My boy’s hands are on you 24/7

Your hips, waist and ass are his hand holders

Literally cannot get enough of you

If you’re cooking you can bet your ass he’s wrapping his arms around you(or just unpacking takeout if you don’t cook)

Squishing you into his buff chest with his strong arms :’) whatta dream

Even in public his hands are wrapped tightly or losely around your waist, 0 fucks given at the pictures people take or the stares

He’s you number one support and judge

Perfect candidate to take to the mall when you want to buy some clothes or whatever

This is one horny ass man(but y’all knew that already)

Anything you wore he’d just melt and start making Inappropriate jokes

“How’s this one” you’d mutter mostly to yourself as you examined the dress

“It’s great ma, it look even better on the floor tho” He’d chuckle darkly

But your just like

“guess I’ll fuck him in the dressing room ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “

Sometimes you have those down moments where you basically just hate yourself(terrible fucking feeling m8)

BUT RICHARD IS HAVING NONE OF THAT

I feel like he’d cancel EVERYTHING he has on his schedule and clean the whole house and set up the cutest fort and puts on a shit ton of Disney movies and snacks for you

He takes his time leaving soft and gentle kisses all over your body, starting from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear before lazily clicking play on the little mermaid

He could barely focus on the movie

His hands would be draped lazily over your stomach squeezing the soft skin(making you uwu)and his head buried in the crook of your neck, giving you innocent kisses

A wide smile permanent on your face

You’d order some take out and just drink some red wine as he worships your body in the most innocent ways possible to the dirtiest ways

This dude is the dream boyfriend once he’s met the one honestly

and vice versa

Every time he feels down(which isn’t a rare thing) you’d be there.

His head would be against your chest as you softly massage his scalp, lips pressed against his forehead and you whispered all the things you love about him and all the good qualities that he has

MELTING IS WHAT THIS BOY IS DOING ON THE INSIDE

MELTING

Anywhore, moving on

it took Richard 6 months for him to introduce you to Aaliyah bc he wanted to make sure that you were actually serious

Which is completely understandable

He was so nervous bc like

whAT if you don’t want that big of a commitment??

Or what if Aaliyah doesn’t like you???

His worst nightmare is both his baby girls not getting along

Literally had to take a moment alone so he could recompose himself

He wouldn’t know what hell to do if both the loves of his life dont get along

But let’s be honest

He was stressing for nothing

You guys ended up loving each other

It took Aaliyah a few minutes to open up due to her shyness

But y’all ended up being the best of friends

And Richards heart just meLTED

You ended up befriending Yocelyn too

And Richards all like :0

If you weren’t confident before you met him, then he really did boost your confidence up little by little

Starting with random messages throughout the day

Some sweet other explicit ;)

Would take so many pictures and videos of you just so you could see how pretty you are

And if you were already confident(which we all should be :’)

Y’all would take some bomb ass pictures together

Like them cute ass insta couples

Will make such cute and inappropriate comments under your posts

Making many fans gush and hollar

Ugh, goals man, literal goals

Most fans don’t take the news well

Hate comment after hate comment

But you know what?

Y’all prolly fucking too hard to pay attention

This man is a sex God(I have no proof but I have no doubts either)

Y’all caNNOT change my mind

Pull out game weak(sorry lol)

But goOD THING YOU’RE ON THE PILL!!

This one kinky motherfucker istg

From bondage to breeding to choking to ooff I need a shower

Will take you anywhere in the house

The couch? check

Kitchen? check

Guest room? check

I want to say that he’s into public sex but I doubt it, like he’d think it’s hot but he wouldn’t want to risk anything

LUCKILY YOU’RE THERE TO PUSH HIS BUTTONS!!! ;)))))

Lazy make out sessions are a common thing

Lots of booty grabbing

My man loves that booty

You get along perfectly with the guys

Even though at first all of you were a bit iffy

Because

“Oh shit, new girl and she isn’t a one night stand :0”

But after like a week maybe, all of you started getting more comfortable

Maybe a little too comfortable which had Richard seeing red

I mean

He’d love the fact that everyone was getting along

BUT THERES BOUNDARIES !!

Ooff did I mention that he’s super protective with a tad bit of possessiveness

Not enough to be considered dangerous or unhealthy but enough to irritate you

“Like back tf up bruh I can protect myself”

And he’s all like

:0

You could be at the club, dancing and having the time of your life and some guy just creeps up behind you

And Richards got this murderous look on his face that even scared you

But let’s not lie, mad Richard is a sexy Richard

Y’all have some bomb sex after but then a deep conversation about your faithfulness to each other

Speaking of conversations

It’s 2:49am and y’all talking bout raiding Area 51 or some shit

You’re both drunk off sleep that you just go deep in thought

Or it could be 11:11pm and you guys are just confessing your love for one another

Singing his songs while you clean around the house or catch up on your work

And his just staring at you with the biggest heart eyes

Random slow dances with or without music happens at least one a week

Dates could go from a fancy ass Italian restaurant or a stop at 7/11 and a drive around the streets listening to slow r&b music

You could be gazing up at the stars and he’d try his best to focus on the road instead of your beautiful face

Days away from him suck ass

With him touring and practicing could be hard on both of y’all

But you make it work

Or when he’s finally home and you have to go to uni or work leaves him a bit disappointed

But you’ll do some romantic shit when you or he gets back

THIS MAN WILL SPOIL THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

will surprise you with diamond earrings or necklaces

You end up calling him your sugar daddy jokingly

Speaking of nicknames

Calls you mami more than your name

Like, does he even know your name?

Prolly not(jk)

You’re just mami, baby girl or babe

But you don’t mind whatsoever

Teaching you Spanish)if you already don’t know it) and kissing you every time you get something right

He’s a messy one lady’s

So every time you fight it’s prolly bc of his mess

You end up yelling at him to clean the mess

And he act all offended but does as you says cause he’s a good boy

Literally cried when Aaliyah calls you mommy

But your panicking

Like full on panicking

Like what if Yocelyn comes and drags your ass??

You’re out here worrying while Richard is bawling his eyes out in happiness

None of them have a problem with it thankfully

It just means you’re treating their baby girl right

Now it’s your cue to cry

Damn you love both of them so much

And he loves both of y’all twice as much

OH and meeting your family would be the end of him

His having a full on breakdown once again

His confidence is out the window

Cause what if they don’t accept him bc he’s a dad????

Or bc he’s constantly on the road and not being able to give you all the love and attention you deserve???

That’ll crush him

And Yashua’s prolly making fun of him lowkey

Your dad(or male figure if you don’t have a dad) would intimidate THE SHIT out of him

But once again, after a few minutes or hour

Everyone got along perfectly

Your family ended up loving him and his family ended up loving you just as much

And there’s so much more that could go on with dating Richard but this is all my poor brain could think of

Plus I’m afraid that if I write more tumblr will fuck my shit up like always :’)

Deuces 🤙🏼

[swellwriting]

tagged by @kabeswaters​ and @fortisfiliae​ love u both sm <3 <3

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? it fluctuates but right now -1 

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #anxious

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? JAKE MOTHERFUCKING GYLLENHAAL 

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? i dont know what that is hah

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i guess some people don’t know i’m type one diabetic??

6. what’s your wake up ritual? uh phone, animal crossing, fruit loops, weed

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? I watch asmr videos cuz im usually high as fuck and they knock me out lol, or i watch tiktok or pillow talk with my bf nick.

8. what’s your favorite time of day? like 9 pm?

9. your go to for having a good laugh? my boyfriend always makes me laugh no matter how angry or upset i am so i’d talk to him uwu

10. dream country to visit? FRANCe specifically Paris oui oui with my french candian bullshit

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? when they announced 5sos was touring with one direction and i had tickets, never screamed so loud in my LIFE

12. heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers duh

13. vintage or new? vintage babey

14. who do you want to write your obituary? ME from the great beyond, the only other person who knows me well enouhg is nick and i love him but he is very stupid.

15. style icon? uh harry styles, devon lee carlson, halsey, bella hadid, tyler the creator some normal people whos style i LOVE  from insta are rebeccaramsdale , kehllie , kikalateefff , yourgirlneens , lilxmg !

16. what are three things you cannot live without? phone, insulin, art, music

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? probs vanilla or hotsauce, the only two flavours.

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? my dead brother DJ, kurt cobain andddd ryan dunn from jackass what a weird mix.

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? loosing my senses, loosing control, the fear that i am not actually real and ... oh spiders.

20. window or aisle seat? window 

21. what’s your current tv obsession? think its gonna be adventure time again

22. favorite app? instagram or discord so i can talk to my friends uwu

23. secret talent? i can speak french and giberish

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? camping i guess?

25. how would you define yourself in three words? anxious, empathetic, creative

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my vintage star wars shirt

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? blank tees, good quality blank tees!!! white black grey mhmhmh

28. a superpower you would want? i’d wanna be spidergirl

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? nothing at all :(

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? my grade six teacher telling me that i was very empathetic as i was sitting at the back of the class crying because of the movie we were watching, she told me not everyone is empathetic like i am but its okay to be soft. but not to expect that from everyone else.

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? teenage me was a mess but not messy enough that i’d change anything. i’d just say, things get better but im currently back in the state teenage me was in so...i’d be lying. maybe that wanting to kill yourself does not count as a personality trait - and start reading comics earlier cuz u really like them.

32. a book everyone should read? i read wack books, everyone on tumblr should read fangirl tho

33. what would you like to be remembered for? something i created

34. how do you define beauty? self expression and individuality 

35. what do you love most about your body? wait people love their bodies? not everyone was severly damaged by online diet culture and thigh gap era tumblr? weird ok

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? weed or bath or a movie

37. favorite place to view art? there is an art gallery in saskatchewan that i love, i was suposed to go there this summer before corona took over :(((

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? either something short like “mellow” or fob style like “im so anxiuos all the time and nothing ever feels real and i dont know what im doing but somehow im doing pretty good while feeling prety bad and laughing through my tears lol.” or i’d steal “teen idle” by marina and the diamonds.

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar or piano because im lame at both.

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i want two moths above my knees rn

41 dolphins or koalas? neither

42. what’s an animal that represents you? im more of a pokemon, i think id be jigglypuff

43. best gift you’ve ever received? whenever nick buys me clothes from stussy or maybe infinity on high on vinyl.

44. best gift you’ve given? i bought nick the entire sin city comic series in one giant book.

45. what’s your favorite board game? monopoly

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow

47. least favorite color? that weird pinky purple

48. diamond or pearls? pearls

49. drugstore makeup or designer? colour pop and fenty

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? tea

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pumpernickle is my fav one.

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? MILK

54. stairs or elevators? stairs

55. summer or winter? summer, canadian winters are brutal.

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? ur asking someone who has very specific comfort foods so i already do this - cheese bagel toasted with cream cheese and then toasted again to melt cheddar cheese on top. with a diet coke thats very important.

57. a dessert you don’t like? cheesecake 

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? im crazy so this is a lot but - writing , drawing and painting, polymer clay, sewing, resin art and pottery.

59. best thing to happen to you today? nothing

60. worst thing to happen to you today? the line at starbucks was too long and i had to get wendys instead, and a few other things i won’t mention.

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? whenever my mom says i remind her of my brother dj, when people say anything nice about my art or writing style. when people ask about my clothes. when my friend jess called me a “known softie” uwu

62. favorite smell? lavender

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, what would it be about? i’d talk about star wars for hours on end 

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? of mice and men made me ball my fucking eyes out

66. lipstick or lipgloss? chapstickk

67. sweet or savory? sweet

68. girl crush? Zendaya

69. how do you know you’re in love? idk ive just always been in love with nick (since i was 15) before i even really knew what love was, i guess if the other person feels like home, you know ur doing something right.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? nine in the afternoon by p!atd or a match into water by peirce the veil, over my head by fleetwood mac

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? harry styles that mysterious fucker

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? currently not looking forward to anything becase my life is super uncertain right now ha.. maybe the release of the chaos walking movie whenever that decides to happen.

tagging: i assume yall have been tagged in this already but just incase @beskarjedi @woakiees @bluemadcnna @carolinesbookworld  @theseuscmander and anyone else who wants to do this consider urself tagged.

[justmikerrss]

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW 

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.  

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3 

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)

[3rachatraingoeschoochoo]

2012 Kpop

Now, let’s talk about K-pop groups you may or may not know about. 2012 brought a wave of awesome new groups. I was fairly new to the K-pop scene so I just went exploring and discovering new groups and boy am I glad I did that, because now I can tell you all about these hidden gems:

Debuts

So in this year, Gangnam Style happened, yeah everyone knows that bUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENED??? YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, B.A.P DEBUTED!!! They were amazing, ruthless, powerful, just wow, no wonder they became my ultimate group right away cause did you see their debut MV?? Bunny aliens that invade the earth to save their dying planet?! it was wild y’all Also you should definitely watch Bang&Zelo’s Never Give Up, although it was released in 2011 I’m still gonna mention it here, because it was that good.

Debut: Warrior - B.A.P 

Another debut that many people may know is that of EXO. Before their real debut, they actually had released some mv’s like History (y’know “enjoy the mayo”).  I don’t know what it is with aliens this year but they seem to like this concept because also EXO turned out to be aliens with special superpowers from a dying planet named EXOPlanet. Till this day I can still hear the iconic “When the skies an-”

Debut: Mama - EXO

Y’all know GOT7? Then y’all must have heard about JJ Project a.k.a JB and Junior!! Jaebum and Jinyoung appeared in the k-drama Dream High 2 just before their actual debut, and boy did I LOVE Dream High 2. So obviously I was sToKeD for their debut, and they didn’t let me down. You should definitely also listen to Hooked.

Debut: Bounce - JJ Project

Let’s talk about my humongous crush on Jung Ilhoon, shall we? That boy man entranced me from the very first beginning. BTOB’s debut was wow, ilhoon was wow, I was wow. I remember watching their MTV Diary late at night, I watched them all and my mom got mad lol but I was so so so into BTOB, and along with B.A.P, they were my ultimate favourites. (pssst.. MTV Diary BTOB is still one of the best reality shows out there, i’m not saying you should watch it but i think you should, they are absolute crackheads)

Debut: Insane - BTOB Wow - BTOB (!!)

VIXX debuted with Super Hero and they had a comeback the same year with Rock Ur Body. Both VERY good songs and that’s why I’m so mad it isn’t on Spotify, this was my jam y’all, why you gotta do this to me, just put in on Spotify please. They actually have more songs from their earlier days that aren’t on Spotify :((

Debut: Super Hero - VIXX

Okay, then AOA happened. I absolutely LOVE their debut song, 10/10, chef’s kiss, just listen. Till this day Elvis and Get Out are my favourite AOA songs. 

Debut: Elvis - AOA

DO YOU KNOW C-CLOWN??? YOU SHOULD cause without this group we wouldn’t have that frickin’ handsome hot sexy Aussie dude named CHristian Yu, insta: @/dprian (thought i was gonna say Bang Chan or Felix? ¬‿¬)  They debuted with Solo but you should rather watch Far Away Young Love, this mv is so good, the story line, the song, the boys… 12/10. Sadly they disbanded back in 2015 and all the members went their own way. Christian founded DPR, and “Maru” or simply Jaejun debuted again in 2019 with the group TREI (you should definitely watch their debut mv, i love it so much)

Debut: Solo - C-Clown

Let me tell you about a group that literally said in a song that they “f*ck like a p*rnstar”. Yes, it’s a South-Korean group from 2012 we’re talking about. Big Star. They are iconic, unapologetic, energetic, i freaking love them. They all went to the survival show ‘The Unit’ in 2017 and you may know Feeldog from that. “I rap like a monster and I f*ck like a p*rnstar….my rap always kills the track, at night I always kill the girl” yeah they did that

Debut: Hot Boy - Big Star (this debut is uhh… interesting)

Y’all, this group deserved so much better, I mean, their songs were absolute bops but I guess they were just ahead of their time. The Wonder Boyz! Wonder Boyz were being mistreated by the CEO of their agency, they were assaulted, verbally abused and the CEO allegedly also stole from them, it was horrible to hear this, they had so much potential. I liked how they made the songs theirs, matching it to their unique voices. So far I know they only have two mv’s. After their disbandment, they all went their own way and I’m happy to report that they are doing well. Young Boy changed his stage name into Roscoe, and is now part of DPR (we gang gang), K or Taehyun is now active as Owol (definitely listen to Why), Master One is now known as V-Hawk (Tokki mv) and I don’t really know what happened with Bak Chi Gi but some sites say he became an independent artist.

Debut: Tarzan - Wonder Boyz (This one’s really good i swear) Open the door - Wonder Boyz 

More debuts worth mentioning:

Nu’est, the big brothers of Seventeen! Their debut song was a bop, really, and Ren was so beautiful. Also, I really digged their hair styles. Face - Nu’est

Y’all know the legendary female Park Jimin from ASC? Y’all know her beginnings with 15&? Y’all should watch these angels: I Dream - 15&

Ailee also starred in Dream High 2 and her debut song was so so so good, just listen. Heaven - Ailee

Lee Hi!!! Love this girl. All her songs are good man. 1, 2, 3, 4 - Lee Hi

100% They were just HOT. Bad boy - 100%

Lunafly yO these kings deserved better. I mean, an acoustic band singing in Korean, English ánd Spanish. If you don’t know them, you missed something good. Super Hero - Lunafly

GLAM said gay rights, just look up their lyrics. Do I need more things to prove that their debut was iconic? Party XXO - GLAM

D-UNIT 2012 was the year of the badboy aliens but let’s not forget the badgirls because they killed it. Luv me - D-UNIT

24K they debuted with Hurry up but their comeback U R So Cute is just so cutesy and very different from their debut concept, ngl that song is my guilty pleasure.

The year of the humble beginnings of EXID! Before Up&Down, there was Whoz that girl - EXID

Tiny-G you may know Min Do Hee from her acting in Reply 1994 and Gangnam Beauty. Their debut mv is soo cute Minimanimo - Tiny-G

A-Jax I remember being really intruiged by their mv’s, not really sure why but just take a look yourself: One 4 U - A-Jax, Hot Game - A-Jax

Mr. Mr. no not that song of Girl’s Generation. They have a whole history with members leaving and members being added but if you overlook that, they still have some good songs worth mentioning. I actually don’t recommend watching their debut song, just watch one of these: Do you feel me, Waiting for you

Comebacks

Big Bang’s legendary comeback: Fantastic Baby 

G-dragon’s Crayon a.k.a my go-to shower song

Super Junior had a comeback and they were Sexy, Free and Single and ready to bingo ;)

Just Teen Top had a comeback with Be ma girl a.k.a the proper way to ask yo crush out

Beast (now Highlight) summer comeback: Beautiful Night

Block B’s released some really good content like Nillili Mambo and NalinA

Boyfriend as angel/demon princes !! Definitely a must-watch: Janus

B1A4 had a really good year, I loved all their comebacks: Baby Good Night, Baby I’m Sorry (you either love it, or hate it), Tried to walk

Shinee’s back with Sherlock a.k.a soy un dorito

Also the year f(x) swept us away with Electric Shock

Some more iconic things worth mentioning imo:

BTOB and B.A.P had a dance stage together and it was a-ma-zing

This  🤯 KMF 2012 really gave us the best performances

Teen Top on Weekly Idol doing random playdance and turning violent

B.A.P’s killing camp and Ta-Dah! It’s B.A.P and MTV Diary B.A.P I’m a sucker for B.A.P, is it obvious ?

Actually all MTV Diary’s from 2012 are top quality procrastination content (C-Clown, MyName, VIXX, JJ Project, BTOB, B.A.P)

This compilation pretty much sums up 2012′s vibes 

[thestudyfeels]

Why Celebrities Are Worth More Than You

Before I dive (copy that? Because this post is gonna be so deep? Edit: I’ll take Jesus and one litre of bleach, thank you) into this storm of revelations, ANNOUNCEMENT!!! This is the first post in a series where I go all in on a particular topic and dig up hidden nuggets of wisdom from it. In other words, I rant. Hard. 

Why am I blessing you with this goodness?

This entire series boils down to improving your mindset. You’ve probably heard the legend that in the Solomon Islands, villagers practiced an, ahem, unique form of logging. If a tree was too large to be felled with an ax, the natives withered down the tree by cursing it for weeks. That’s the idea behind this series: repetition. The PRIMARY reason why I win a lot, is because I am a perennial liar and I won't take a no for my dreams. If I want to have ‘x’ trait, I’ll lie and say I have ‘x’ trait till I do have ‘x’ trait.

This is also known as the Reality Distortion Field, popularised by Steve Jobs. “Steve Jobs’s “reality distortion field” was a personal refusal to accept limitations and to convince himself that any difficulty was surmountable. This “field” was so strong that he was able to convince others that they, too, could achieve the impossible. It was an internal reality so powerful it also became an external reality.” (x)

The catch? The distortion field, and mindset in general, works MAJORLY through repetition. So I don't care if you think you’re the biggest, saddest wanker around, I’m going to drum into your ears that you’re a star and trust me, by the end of this series, every constellation out there will be pining for you.

So tea, I’M ON FIRE TODAY, so if you have a coffee (tea?) to drink, some time to invest on yourself, and a sturdy ol’ cerebrum to upgrade, then join in and watch out for this series (Letters From Solomon Islands, WHATTUP) on your dashboards. My people already know that the how-to’s are clickbait anyway (Coughs, chokes on the shade.)

Why We Adore Our Celebs

The other day I was stalking Tom Hiddleston in my bathroom (please don't use your imagination) and exactly one day ago I had been stalking Billie Eilish in there (yes nosy Eric, I'm bi, but again, don’t get carried away) and there was an interview talking about her rise to fame, and THAT, fellow denizens, got me wondering: Why do we have celebrities? (A profound question Nandini, you’ve done us proud.)

Before you spit something political like “capitalism!”, put down that crochet pattern for a sec. Close your eyes (welcome to woke therapy, ayo), and I want you to envision one of your role models- the people you look up to and would DIE if you get a chance to meet them. The icons you stalk excessively on Insta and have all the notifs on for. No, Sally, your crush on Zac Efron’s abs doesn't count. Sorry to crush your hopes.

Second, consider WHY you love this person so much. It could be anyone - an actor, influencer *smirks*, singer, that hot man down the street who helped you pick up your groceries that one time because you’re clumsy- yup, anyone. Now, trap that love here, in these pages, as you read. (Oh Sally, here’s toilet paper and a cookie, stop sniffling.)

Here’s some foreshadowing: In a nutshell, ‘celebrities’ exist because the rest of us are— excuse us, politically incorrect statement coming through— losers. Or better put, because we can't become ‘celebrities’ ourselves. Don’t run in with your frying pan just yet, James, I’ll do a thorough deconstruction. Stay put and listen up:

           Look around and you’ll find that most of the citizenry is living a life for others. Whether subconsciously, or consciously, it’s as if we’re pre-programmed to imitate and copy whatever the herd is up to. “Yo, whatcha up to, Nate, you out partying? I’ll see you in ten then.” “Lol, are you living under a rock? Do you seriously not know what Uggs are?” “I mean… yeah, I hate Justin Bieber too, of course I do.”

And that's not our fault, really. Society briefs us on the ground rules of fitting in pretty early on: get good grades, go to college, try to find a nice paying job– and we do it, like unquestioning muppets helpless in its domineering hands.

Because we all know the ramifications that’ll crop up if we don’t. If anyone even dares to be a bit different, they’re freezed out and ridiculed. They’re slapped with labels such as “insane”, “naive”, “misfit”, or the best one yet - “selfish”. Selfish for living true to themselves. Selfish for hustling hard and making THEIR dreams a reality. Selfish for having the courage to put their own desires before society’s. What. A. Big. Yawn. I’m sleeping on y’all.

          And that’s precisely where celebs beat us to the finish line.

Look, these ‘acclaimed’ personalities bubble up because most are afraid to be the most bona fide and best version of themselves. It’s much easier to plop on the couch, switch on the TV, and say, “Man, I could do that any day. And prob better too,” while trying to pick up the remote control with your two toes because you’re too comfy to get up right now.

Your role models, idols, and mentors – the entire bulk of these people have a willpower and fortitude that you could only dream of. They’ve hunted down their fears and faced numerous challenges to follow their dreams. They’ve chosen to remain true to their authentic selves even under constant judgment. Sure, they were all called eccentrics and crazy at one point or another, but— ok no, (edit: wow, I had a mood swing here, lmao) they ARE eccentrics. They ARE crazy. Wild for wanting to change the world. Mad for inspiring millions of people. They’re lunatics who had the audacity to dream big, shed the shells of doubt and insecurity, and dared to live their best life.

Moral of the story is: Celebrities, pop stars, and internet personalities aren’t just people who got lucky and wealthy. They had a special kind of fearlessness and self-awareness to get here, qualities worth examining for yourself.

So here’s your mental workout for this post —

Go and ruminate deeply about what makes you love the people you admire. What do they have or do that you want as well? Is it their spontaneity? Their courage and faith? Or is it their kindness and humanity? Or perhaps most importantly, their passion? Have you fallen in love with their excitement to go to work or does your heart melt at the gratitude they show others?

Find out what it is that makes your eyes sparkle and the corners of your lips turn up when you look at them. It is easier to find what you’d love to do from what others are doing than brainstorm on an empty page. *Sally looks up from the corner* “And then what?” *Me, smiles, sensing the crazy philo rant coming ahead* “And then, Sally dear, you live.”

The next step is a big one. You do what THEY did. If they’re passionate, YOU learn to become devoted to your dreams as well. If they don’t give up, you NEVER STRAY either.

You see, we have it in all of us to become great. And we can start wherever we are. Jen Sincero, an author and coach, put it well: “It’s not your fault you’re fucked up, BUT it is your fault if you stay fucked up.” So start where you are. Start NOW. Follow the advice Will gave to Louisa in his departing letter in Me Before You (I’m a soppy romcom fanatic) – “There is a hunger in you, Clark. A fearlessness. You just buried it, like most people do… so live boldly. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Just live well. Just LIVE.”

Love, the world isn’t as scary as we’ve all grown up to think it is. Passion, kindness, faith and magic breathes among us. You’re not a loser, darling, scribble over that insult so it says “lover”, and heal, knowing that the world awfully, I give you my word of honor (still an 18th century woman, y’all), wants you to win.

And I? I’ll be right here waiting for the day when there’ll be no such demarcation of people as “winners” or “suckers”; just conquerors with big hearts and unbreakable faith, all ready to make that small life count. 

Go win.

The End Card That Rambles On And Plugs Even More

🌚🌝 Further reading? 🌝🌚

Last post: 13 Lessons from the 2018 Chapter

if you don’t love yourself, read this. please.

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Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure having you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, I’d suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.

I post new posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. I’ll be your side pal, cheering you along.✨

And that was it, it’s a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know you’re pretending to be deaf, but Mom’s yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.

And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope you’re well, stay strong and go conquer life. ✧

I’m sending you so much love, see you soon.

— Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[we-are-all-secretly-dead]

All of them 😘 have fun xoxox

Blue: What song do you listen to when you’re feeling down? - my fave at the moment is naked James Arthur but it changes all the time Cup: Do you drink Tea or Coffee? - coffee but I loveeeee green tea English: How many languages can you speak? - just one. How boring Fear: Tell us three fears. - SPIDERS, heights and death but if we want to talk about a weird fear I’m scared of kidney beans I have no idea whyGame: What was the last board game you played? - monopoly I thinkRead: What was the last book you read? - haven’t read a book in so long which is a shame cause I love reading Injury: Have you ever walked into a glass door? - yesJump: Do five jumping jacks/star jump. - will do tomorrow it’s 2 am Kiss: Who’s your biggest celebrity crush? - zac effron Love: Do you believe in marriage? - yesMoney: What would you do with 1 million dollars? - I’d literally make a huge change in the world, not sure what but it would be something Naughty: Tell us three things that your parents disapprove of? - my mums chill so nothing hahaOops: What is one thing you’d like to change/fix? - my face lolPicture: Post a pic of your lovely face. - insta luciewood_ xox Quality: Name three of your favourite blogs. - I can’t name any off the top of my head but I have them in my mind Rapunzel: Name three Disney movies that you adore. - TANGLED, hunchback of notredame, Mulan Star-sign: When’s your birthday? February 21st. Don’t forget my gift xTeacher: What do you aspire to be? - actress/singerUnite: Do you sponsor a cause? - no but I donate to charity a lottttVarsity: Do you play/watch sport? - I go to the gym all the time and do dance lessons idk?Xylophone: Do you play an instrument? I play a bit of a lot of instruments but it ain’t that greatYellow: What’s your favourite colour? Probs grey lolZoo: What is your favourite animal? ELEPHANT