#intermittent amnesia

[drafty-castle]

i saw your story about trying to reassure someone they are not pregnant and i am just so curious about that situation and how you asked for advice is this something your worried will happen again?

i feel like there is only so many ways to reality check that should feel really obvious to you but so long as you stay calm and kind just reassuring the person those facts as simply as you can is really the best thing to do, so it seemed like you did everything right.

Hi. I’m gonna trauma dump a little, so be warned.

So, my wife has some sort of intermittent amnesia issue that no one knows how to diagnose. Two neurologist, a neuropsych, and a bevy of therapists have all poked around in her head (imaging and therapy) with no results.

It presented first as purely syncope (hello 100+ concussions in a year and the brain damage that incurs), then became syncope plus coming too with some sort of disassociation manafesting as age-regressive/retrograde amnesia that would only end with another syncopal attack, then added in non-epileptic seizures/full body convulsions in among the mess and confusion.

The amnesia is not static - she has presented as any age from four, fourteen, twenty-four, thirty-four, and everything in between. She remembers everything in her life up to the time/age she is currently embodying. It’s like time travel. The amnesia can last from minutes to hours to days. It’s all dependent on when the next syncopal attack happens. It’s like hitting the breakers on a building to reset the system (have you tried turning it off and back on again?)

Or, as I normally tell her: “Think of your mind as a palace, with hundreds of doors inside. Behind each door is a single memory. Normally, you have access to all memories, through all doors, from your earliest childhood up to [now]. However, all the doors from [presenting age] to [now] are closed and locked. They are still there, they are still in your head. You just can’t access them at the moment. When you get your memory back, you will get the key and all of the doors will fly open and all of your memories will return.”

When she regains her memories, she remembers nothing of the incident. It’s just like a black-out for her. A great blank and a chunk of missing time in her life. And if she ever returns to that age again, she never remembers having “time travelled” before so we always have to start the process all over.

Note, this is her “normal” dissociative amnesia. The kind that happened yesterday is the much more rare and far more jarring my wife just woke from a convulsion and she doesn’t know her own name, age, what a cat is, what a TV is, where babies come from, what is/is not real etc.

She was bloated so she was convinced she was pregnant. She didn’t know where babies came from so she thought I got her pregnant. No protestations to the contrary would convince her otherwise. I mistakenly called our cats “the children” (because that’s how we to refer them in the day to day) and suddenly she was convinced she was pregnant with a cat and had given birth to the other cats as well. The physical and biological impossibility of this did not compute for her at this time -> she was pregnant and the cats were our children ergo she was pregnant with a cat.

I’m fine with and have a system for dealing with her normal amnesia, no matter what age she thinks she is. I’ve read her a fairy tale and put her to bed with her thinking I was her foster mother while mentally 7, I’ve made plans for outings with a mentally 10 year old adult, I’ve kept a distraught teen calm and focused while waiting for another syncope to hit the reset button in her brain, I’ve argued with a 23 year old about needing to blend her foundation then washed all twenty layers off my wife’s face when she returned to herself and was horrified by 2010s makeup trends. I know what to do, normally.

Last night wasn’t normal.

And I can’t get any real help from anybody. No support network, no instructions from medical professionals, nothing. The neurologist said she should do therapy about it. Only, she’s been in therapy. For years. Years and years. Long before this shit started happening!

And yet it’s just. Getting. Worse.

Like, spending more time amnesiac than not, worse. Happening every day worse. Lasting for longer worse.

I’m afraid that whatever is wrong is something that science and medicine just hasn’t figured out yet. That she is the equivalent of somebody living in the 1600’s with tuberculosis and no concept of germ theory. That somebody will end up writing a break-through paper on her condition but by then it will be too late for her.

Both Mayo Clinic’s website and the neurologist keeps saying it’s oddly presenting non-epileptic seizures due to stress and she needs therapy except she’s 100% less stressed now than she ever has been in her life, this shit started within a month of getting Covid, it’s getting worse and evolving new symptoms, and I am a single person left alone to try to keep her alive.

She’s not a system in the traditional since, but I lurk on DID pages sometimes trying to glean hints on how to cope or manage when she has completely lost the plot, like last night.

… Because if I hadn’t gotten to her in time and rubbed her stomach until the bloating went down, I’m afraid she would have tried to “cut out” the “baby”, that’s how scared and in pain she was.

[jymwahuwu]

-cw: yandere, dub-con, non-con, hypnosis, mind control, aventurine's eyes don't have such abilities in the official plot of course!!

Am I the only one who felt that Aventurine's eyes were like those of a Incubus while watching the plot…? Slowly approaching us and possibly hypnotizing us in the next second?

Your memory is intermittent, like an interrupted video or a lost film. You often woke up in different places and sore, but no matter how you thought about it, it was all a blank. It could be amnesia, but they all have one thing in common. You remember that you met Aventurine before each memory loss!

For hours you were not allowed any covering, just sitting on the Aventurine-sized dildo and rocking yourself. Your hands were clenched into small fists and placed in front of your chest. A small red love heart was always shining in your eyes, and you were obedient like a loyal and obedient puppy.

Aventurine is sitting in the rocking chair next to the bed, investing casually with the device in his hand. The credits in his account were like a roller coaster, plummeting all at once, then rising again as you squirted. He had a sly and mysterious smile on his face, admiring your gasps and desperation.

"I can't believe it!! IPC really should be shut down because of you!" were your last words before this lascivious session began. He stole your customers. You point in his face and rant about his dodgy business practices and contracts. You are too righteous. It is completely out of place in this profit-oriented business market in the universe.

Aventurine can only convince you to calm down…in his own way.

Hypnotizing you is really unexpectedly fun. Witnessing your expression gradually becoming emptier and then sticking out your tongue lustfully, he couldn't help but masturbate as a reward for you. Pushing you to spread your legs on the bed. He pushes his swollen, pre-cum-prone glans into your smooth insides. Your body was so frightened that the light in your eyes dimmed, then brightened again. You screamed in pleasure and bliss as you were being fucked-

"I-I'm sorry…!! Please allow me to cum!!"

Another spurt of semen filled you deeply. He didn’t forget to push a few more times to ensure penetration was complete before pulling out and looking down at you.

"Okay. You did a great job."

"After I breed you, you don't remember anything. You only remember that you had a comfortable dream, in which you had unimaginable blessings and heavenly pleasure."

"After I leave this room, you will get dressed obediently, go back to your room, and forget about these things."

"But you're going to come over at the same time tomorrow because you need me."

"That's all."

dividers @/cafekitsune

[coffee-in-rain]

Vulnerable Hannibal Fic Rec List

On my previous post, people were interested in finding fics where Hannibal is touch-starved and or dealing with separation anxiety post-fall. So here is a small list of some that may fit that theme! The first five fics are mine, but the rest are some of my favorite fics I’ve ever read that feature vulnerable Hannibal in various seasons, AUs, and post-canon. This list will be updated intermittently! New additions as of 9/13/2024

The Ache Against The Wind (Rewritten): He’d sustained a substantial amount of brain damage throughout the last eleven days, Will had been told. Resulting in Post-Traumatic Amnesia. (Hannibal is tortured in the BSHCI via beatings, laxatives, enemas, starvation and the “water curing” method after his toilet is removed. Will saves him).

Pareidolia: Six weeks post-fall, Hannibal suffers from a seizure during dinner.

Je Te Laisserai Des Mots: Six months have passed since Will pulled them over the cliff. Even in light of their progressing relationship, much of Hannibal still remains a mystery to Will. For reasons unknown, he’s begun to pull away. (A sequel to Shrike; my housewife Hannibal fic!)

Between The Hour Of Reprieve:

At the cliff house, Hannibal receives a much-needed-hug. (features crying, touch-starved Hannibal).

Shrike (To Your Sharp And Glorious Thorn): Hannibal feels anxious about the prospect of Will abandoning him one day because he isn’t at all capable of being like Molly. His anxiety only heightens when Will gets a job. (features crying housewife Hannibal speaking Lithuanian).

A Cabin In The Woods by KoolJack1: Hannibal is thirteen and runs away from the orphanage when he feels that a fate of the elements will be better than the fate of abuse. He finds a small cabin in the woods, thinking warmth will be all he finds. He also finds Will. But who changes who?

Recipricol Alchemy by Scifibabe: In the silent echoes of his dreams, Will Graham treads a line blurred between control and chaos, each step drawing him inexorably towards claiming Hannibal as his own. It's a perilous dance on the edge of darkness, where the thrill of possession whispers of a transformation too profound to resist.

Hold Me, Don’t Let Me Go by sourweather: It's a few months after the Fall when it finally hits him. Hannibal has barely been touched in 3 years. And Will won't let it go on for another moment.

Hosanna In The Highest by sainthannibal: During the fall, Hannibal receives the brunt of the injuries, which leaves him unable to care for himself. Will discovers how much he enjoys taking care of him.

You Made Me Soup by itsybitsylemonsqueezy: Hannibal comes down with pneumonia while incarcerated. Will decides to make him some soup. Absolutely no one thinks it's strange that Will comes to give his ex soup when he finds out he's sick. No one at all finds this suspicious. At. All.

The Boy Under The Monster’s Bed by Wr4tttttthh: There were deep wounds that needed healing, new and old, physical and otherwise. (features crying, vulnerable Hannibal).

Delicate Ghost by hannigramcracker & TimmyJayBird: She was different- not the ghost of his memories, but something about this bloodied child ripped right at Hannibal's chest, and left him drowning in a cold snow he thought he had left in his childhood, that he had locked away within his skull. Drowning, with only one hand to grasp at, one body to cling to. One man to work him through the trauma and remind him what life was.

You With Those Nails, Me With This Cross by TheBitterKitten:

Will goes too far.

The Distance Is Quite Simply Much Too Far For Me To Row by softhan: Hannibal is having a rough time recovering from his injuries post-fall, and retreats into himself to avoid confrontation with Will while he's still weak and ill. Having to play happy husbands hardly helps

[palant1r]

my boy Six!

He's got amnesia about his personal life from the gunshots but has other memories he can piece together to get an idea of his past. He's from the Western Shoshone nation, which is currently intermittently at war with the Legion, though that war has eased up as the Legion focuses its efforts on the NCR. He left home because he wanted to see the world, and being a courier allowed him to be a messenger between a ton of different tribal governments. Tribal governments after the war tend to use beads as currency, so he's got two very simple beaded necklaces as emergency funds.

He's a real smart cookie and has a silver tongue, and prefers to get out of situations without fighting if he can help it. This did not work out for him while trying to deal with families on the Strip, where despite fully intending to solve things peacefully, him and Veronica ended up having to beat their way out of both Gomorrah and the Ultra-Luxe.

Between his speech, lockpick and science skills, his ass is NOT being kept outta anything he wants to be in. And he loves being in locations and safes and systems and situations. Hates minding his own business.

He loves making friends, and started off his adventure just wanting to get his delivery back and then get back to his job, which he loves for the chance to meet new people and see new things. But the people he met along the way, from Boone's firsthand experience with Legion brutality to Cass's suffering at the hands of the current economic titans to Veronica's struggle to get the Brotherhood's head out of his ass, made him realize how much was at stake, and when he found out just how much power he had...well, Arcade's views on independence were the nail in the coffin, and Six has been fumbling around trying to figure out how the hell to overthrow three different governments and start a new one ever since.

He just joined the Followers of the Apocalypse, and is currently on fairly good terms with the NCR, though given how much they're dedicated to replicating settler colonialism there's no way he's letting them push past the Colorado.

He's a chronic junk hoarder, which has been made worse ever since he got the option to store shit at the Lucky 38. There is so much mac and cheese. So much armor. So, so much Sunset Sarsaparilla.

He's currently trying to use that Sunset Sarsaparilla to woo Arcade, and loves helping Arcade with his research.

hes my sweet cheese my good time boy and i am taking questions

[otakusparkle]

The Shadow (Ivy) Background Story

Almost all the residents of the town know the Lawson family, the "back-to-back sisters". From the moment they were born, they were determined to die soon. Fortunately, their father and mother refused to give up on them out of their devout faith and gave them names - Ivy and Edith. Young Ivy still remembers how the laughter and joy at home melted into silence, and how the "well-intentioned" temptations from outside the wall turned into malicious temptations.

The resistance to the surroundings and a decision took root in Ivy's heart - her stubbornness did not lead to the ideal result. Severe wound infection took away Edith on the sixth day after the separation operation, and also gave her a disability that could kill her at any time. Looking directly at Edith's face for the first time, young Ivy felt a huge absurdity: when the soul left Edith's body, she almost felt her own death.

"Freshmen" have always been prepared for desperate people. During the few years that Ivy traveled across the ocean and came to a new school, she showed amazing academic talent and made friends with similar fates to herself. Unlike her friends who are obsessed with the field of spiritual healing, Ivey has shown an extraordinary interest in soul science, and then believes that once the soul and spirit can be accurately described, measured and studied, this transcendent and ultimate knowledge will, will be able to fill the deepest void in her heart. Perhaps moved by her obsession, her friends' initial confusion about her research gradually turned into encouragement, and they even provided some pharmacological technical support from the perspective of spiritual research.

However, as the research deepened, Ivy discovered that she suffered from intermittent amnesia and was always immersed in some dreams that gave people a weird feeling. But this was not entirely a bad thing. In that short memory gap, Ivy experienced the feeling of leaping across time, from a moment in eternity, to jumping lightly and flexibly to the "now". The ancient earth, the huge and lush primitive vegetation, and the smell of minerals in the water seemed to have dissipated from us not long ago. Unfortunately, this situation did not last long. After completing hee studies, her friend left, and the feeling became increasingly dilute, until Ivy received some fragments of literature and a diary, the contents of which could provide a complete explanation for his bizarre symptoms. Explanation of. Even though the recorder has quite professional academic qualifications, these words still seem like the crazy words of a mentally abnormal person: an extremely ancient existence that travels freely through different spaces and times and firmly occupies the captive's mind. Brain and mind.

Ivy took the initiative to grasp this fragile straw. When she was conscious, she felt that she had transformed into some kind of indescribable alien, with three huge eyes unnaturally embedded in the eye sockets, and her human throat uttered some incomprehensible and wild syllables, but she Believe that this is a "gift".

Gradually, Ivy stopped showing up in school. No one knew whether she locked herself in her room again or went away.

[nartothelar]

you should do a submas fic rec post o7

Ooo good idea! Here's a few fics I adore to pieces and have reread more than a few times:

we'll build a bridge (An incomplete collection of unconnected one shots)

Summary: The only constant is this: they find each other. The how might change, but the why doesn’t, and the why is what matters, here. (The why is this: one never stops searching, and one never stops hoping.)

(Made me cry multiple times. Happy endings and heartfelt reunions: it's got everything you need to feel good inside. My favorite chaoters are 3 and 8)

Ounce of Prevention (incomplete)

Summary: If one suspects strangers of causing the apocalypse, one generally should not allow them to continue to roam free. They should ideally be restrained until their innocence (or guilt) can be proven. Even if one of them is a child and openly sobbing at the thought of her only family hating her. Even if the other one's absence is probably going to be noticed by a very large, very dangerous Pokémon.

Elsewhere, the rift spits out a man in white. He's not her Warden, but Sneasler will take all the help she can get in finding him.

(ABSOLUTELY INSANELY GOOD like this is one of my favorite submas fics. Just thrilling and had be binge it in a frenzy. Awesome action scenes, cool plot, and badass Emmet, like seriously Emmet's characterization here is god tier and I think about it constantly. I actually drew a comic based on a scene from this fic here. )

In Tandem (Incomplete)

Summary: Or in which Arceus calls upon two pairs of twins to stop two doomsday plots simultaneously.

Ingo and Emmet are summoned to two different Jubilifes, to two different teenagers to aid them in their seemingly innocent journeys for reasons they do not fully understand. Dark machinations are at work though, and if everyone wants to get home safe at the end of the day it will take every ounce of strength, conviction and courage to brave the trials set before them.

(A verrrry good story: good plot (like you'll get invested), good action, good pacing, and good characterization! I haven't read many fics with Lucas and Dawn and this ones just amazing. I wait patiently for its updates)

The Hand (Complete)

Summary: It was something Ingo always wondered about.

(Unexpected premise but I really like it for some reason and have reread it multiple times)

Give Not Into Sorrow (Complete)

Summary: Something strange is going on in Hisui. There are reports of a man in white roaming the wildlands while leading a pack of Pokemon . Some say they're a mix of Pokemon, some claim they're a pack of zoroarks. Some swear that the man is none other than the amnesiac warden of the Pearl Clan. One thing is certain. Those who meet the man in white all report the same thing: He is looking for his brother. And he will not rest until he finds him.

(Absolutely beautiful and heart wrenching. Deal with grief, with anger and with holding on and letting go. Drew a comic for this just yesterday too)

Conductor of Stone (Completed)

Summary: Ingo was not alone when he woke up in the region of Hisui.

There was a man next to him who shared his face. With a body as cold as ice.

Who are you?

A Land of the Lustrous au! Cool concept and excellent writing that sucks you in. This is actually part of a series which is also very good. The author, PerpetuallySleepy, is a favorite of mine too and they have a bunch of other ones shot fics I recommend checking out!

Intermittent Retention (Complete)

Summary: In theory, the space-time distortions should not overly effect Ingo's daily routine. They certainly wouldn't, if he could remember what happens after he steps inside of them. Even that could be overlooked, reluctantly, if Ingo weren't overwhelmingly drawn to them despite their amnesia-inducing properties. Or if anyone else had this problem. Something happens to Ingo when time and space break down around him, something that leaves him with fierce joy and crippling grief he cannot find a source for, and he's going to figure out what in the world is going on.

(Sweet and sad and beautiful.)

Diamond Crossing (Complete)

Summary: So, here’s the thing. Elesa’s best friend is a little…weird.

She means it in the nicest way possible. But there’s no getting around the fact that Coop is weird.

Their mood swings are all over the place, very serious at one moment and unhinged child at the next. They sprouted train facts at the drop of the hat, insisted on not only being in charge of Gear Station but taking it a step further and turning Gear Station into the Battle Subway. They’re honestly crazy for that alone.

Elesa does her modeling career on top of being a Gym Leader and a lot of people think she’s crazy. She will argue that it’s nothing compared to Coop running the entire transportation system for Nimbasa City on top of being a Battle Facility.

She adores Coop though. She really means it when she says Coop is her best friend. And no matter how crazy Coop comes across as, she knows Coop won't hurt anyone.

("Well, there are exceptions, of course," Coop says, tone serious and expression set to a frown. "We don’t allow unruly passengers for starters." They then smiled, brightening. "And anyone who makes Elesa cry will be tied to the train track and run over." )

(A super interesting concept and I love fusion aus! It's actually part of a series that are loosely connected together. Fun times galore)

Emmet wasn't scared (Complete)

Summary:

Emmet knew his brother will be alright since they were fourteen.

Or: Emmet wasn't scared when his brother went missing. He already knew he would

(Short and haunting)

[pumpkinsy0]

im gonna add onto my mental/physical health master list and just straight up list the mental/medical conditions i think these mrs got cause aint no way they living life freely and i love learning about mental conditions cause that's always interesting

so in case CW for like small ED talk in case ur not in the mood for that whole shebang 

darry :autism, anxiety, depression, and eczema, uhhh that's rlly it actually, maybe he gets migraines quite a bit

pony: main ones r bpd, seasonal depression, dissociative fugue, eczema, and situs inversus (basically his fucking organs in his chest and abdomen are mirrored, like they are literally flipped than from what they're supposed to be, not dangerous or anything, he just has that), asthmatic 

soda: adhd, on the spectrum, he shows symptoms of autism but doesn't have it, seasonal depression perhaps???, 

steve: intermittent explosive disorder, basically episodes of anger, also has eczema just to give him and pony something to bond over, dissociative amnesia

dallas: oppositional defiant disorder, ptsd, 

johnny: dyspraxia, anxiety, ptsd, hard of hearing 

tim: i dont wanna say anorexia cause its not that but he’s not rlly eating bc of the circumstances he's in, not much of an appetite, autism, derealization???maybe??? and bpd

curly: autism, derealization and oppositional defiant disorder

angela: autism, bipolar disorder, what she has and what tim has are two different bipolar condition

two-bit: depression, substance abuse pretty obviously

[wetcatspellcaster]

very kindly tagged by @cursedhaglette, thank you for giving me a chance to talk about my writing :)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

11! :)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

lmfao. 985,659. That's nearly ten thesises (theses?) in the time of my PhD programme, so I'm going to just go quickly walk into the sea.

3) What fandoms do you write for?

the majority of my fic is for videogames with love interests and OC potential (BG3, Dragon Age) but I did briefly fall prey to the darklina disease, which I have to admit to here in order to answer some of the other questions

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1- Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth (bg3)

2- Party Favours (bg3)

3- A Bleeding Heart (bg3)

4- The Stars Don't Shine, They Burn (shadow and bone)

5- An Honest Lie (bg3)

5) Do you respond to comments?

as best as I can, I typically clear out a previous chapter just before I post something new (so that's one way to monitor or predict my posting activity lmfao)

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lmao. Sunblindness (shadow and bone) which takes an 'eye for an eye' approach to an amnesia AU. I actually wanted to end on a major character death but my pal's response was "jesus Emma, this is something people read for fun" so I watered it down :')))))

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Party Favours currently!! Happier endings incoming, IMO.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

yes, occasionally, I'm still in single digits thankfully. i always find it so funny bc nobody is more critical of my fic than me. you think you can hurt me? babygirl, we're in the 5th dimension of insults in my brain, your surface level comment barely touches the sides.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope! call me the Astarion!spawn ending, the way I fade-to-black :')))))

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I crossovered Stardust and Shadow and Bone, but it was not a straight crossover it was more a chewed up, swallowed, and digested version of both premises. I similarly wrote a Wintersmith/Shadow and Bone crossover that I never posted bc the sickness left me.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

lol. lmfao, even. :)))))

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have had requests made of me and given permission for that to happen, but I do not know if it was ever posted!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, it's not for me unfortunately, I was that horrible kid in group projects who just wished she could work alone :')))))))))))

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

honestly there are many but the two that are indelibly written on my soul are Howl/Sophie and Spike/Buffy like the simple bitch I am.

In terms of things I've written? zevran/surana, hands down.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Anything I post I will eventually finish, out of social anxiety alone. At the moment I'm worried about the stuff sitting unposted in gdocs.

16) What are your writing strengths?

hahahahahahaha i don't fucking know i think i can make character voices distinct so you can usually tell which POV I'm writing from once the perspectives are established?

I have been complimented on my dialogue.

I think I'm usually brave enough to take a risky decision, even if it doesn't pay off. These decisions also land more than they used to so it's a skill I've built with time and one I am proud of.

My jokes don't seem to just be for me anymore, I like it when other people say I made them laugh.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

If there's something that can be said straightforwardly in a sentence, you know I'll say it in three paragraphs instead. I wouldn't be surprised if people think I'm a purple-prosed motherfucker.

Smut and lack thereof

the repeat of 'conversation, stage direction, eye contact, expression, repeat' is not a weakness but it is something I become intermittently self conscious of.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am a fan of it and I appreciate it when its done well (pour one out for Naomi Novik's fic/writing where the language work is cringingly poor), but not something I can personally do. Admirer in others, of the skills I lack.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

*dabs* Dragon Age, the OG. It was the pandemic, and I didn't want to replay Wicked Eyes Wicked Hearts bc I hate timed sections, so I wrote a fic instead.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

I feel bad writing this on the blog that's currently 99% BG3, but The Stars Don't Shine They Burn. It was my first time plotting something that diverged greatly from source material, and I was going through some stuff at the time that I can feel viscerally when I return to it and read the words. It is a work of personalised comfort. There's one scene in it that still gets me, every single time.

I don't know, it's funny to see Pieces get attention and I'm very, very proud of Pieces, but some of what I'm thinking through in that was in its proto-form in the other fic, which is finished and I'm really proud of it... so let's see if anything comes along to bop it off the top spot once I have a critical distance and am not in the writing trenches lol.

Tagging wise, I actually want to do an open call on this one!! this was a really pleasant exercise, so anyone seeing this who wants to talk about their writing or celebrate their achievements can take this as my personal invitation :)

scared? do it anyway x

[thatgirlonstage]

It's been so long since I thought about 07-Ghost and then you resurrect in the year of our lord 2024. I might have to reread it, it's been *so long*

LISTEN

I PLAYED

MYSELF

IN THE STUPIDEST

WAY

POSSIBLE

I’m doing a fandom fic alphabet bingo thing, right, except that now 9-1-1 is in the mix bc I was frothing at the mouth to turn Evan Buckley into a mermaid and I’m gonna be annoyed if I get all the letters and then there’s just an annoying 9 hanging out at the start so now it has to be alphanumerical and I straight up don’t think I have seen or read something for every NUMBER, especially going strictly on “it has to start with the numeral and Ao3 has to sort it that way.” (Eg: Re:Zero doesn’t count for 0, it counts for “R”)

So I am literally just like. Clicking around at random into ao3 categories to see what other fics already exist for certain numbers in case they might be shows I can watch to solve this problem I’ve created for myself. And I google 07-Ghost and get told “this is a sci-fi/fantasy show about a boy with amnesia” and I’m like cool, that sounds reasonably like my shit, I’ll check it out, but honestly if zero is a number I have to leave off that’s okay, I can live with that. I need to emphasize I had never in my life heard of this show. I knew nothing about it going in except what I’ve just said.

I watch the first episode and I’m like cool this seems reasonably like my shit, also, that homoeroticism with Mikage tho 👀 as long as they keep doing that it’s definitely at least worth sticking around for lmao

(At this interlude I DID see the cover of the first volume and get told what magazine it was published in so I was clued in that Certain Things Were Happening On Purpose, but still, yknow, whether or not the flavors are gonna click was still up in the air.)

I watched several more episodes.

And it ate

my damn

brain.

I don’t know if I can pinpoint the moment that first Got me but I can tell you that the moment it went from “oh no I’m obsessed” to “o h n o” was the fucking,,,,, underwater prison scene, because he SMILED and I perished and I’ll never be okay again. (I’m legally obliged to note that I fucking wept at Mikage’s death but it did have to be Frau who carried me over the line of “I am enjoying this anime” to “I need the rest of this story Fucking Immediately”)

SO THAT BY THE TIME I REACHED THE END OF THE ANIME I ALREADY KNEW I WAS GONNA HAVE TO GO BUY THE MANGA BECAUSE I NEED. TO READ THE REST OF IT.

BUT THE DAMN THING IS OUT OF PRINT

Some of the volumes are still reasonably easy to find but SOME OF THEM ARE NOT and I’ve just spent WEEKS intermittently trawling secondhand book sites waiting for someone to post vol 4 at a reasonable price because for weeks the only copies that have been available are posted for five hundred american dollars

(Thank you random eBay user who posted it for an actual normal human price to pay for a book the other night I owe you my fucking life)

(“Just read the scanlations” I’ve heard they’re not great? No idea if that’s just detritus rumors from old fandom wars or what but still, I do wanna have the physical volumes anyway)

So anyway. Hi. Hello. I’m fucking delighted to discover you know this show. Can I come scream at you about Teito and his boyfriends? They’re in love and it’s ruining my life.

Points at Evan Buckley. Somehow this is all your fault.

[the-transid-gacha]

Cans we reques an Enderian altewr pease?/nf

(pwefer ranboo bu it tan be jus an endewman!)

Da names an age n stuff tan be up to chu, transID's m woul prefer be wike transharmful fings pease. An pease gib it it they/it and odew pwonouns!

Chu no hab to!

~ 🖤 Ollie Da Enderman

(Translation: Can we request an Enderian Alter please? We'd prefer Ranboo, but just an Enderman is fine. The names, age, and other stuff is up to you. We'd prefer that they are some form of transharmful. Please could it also have They/it pronouns, you can also choose more pronouns.~ Translation by Alas🦌🎙️)

Names: Ranboo & Ran

Genders: Voidbodiment & Endergender

Orientations: Abromantic, Abrosexual, Homosexual, & Homoromantic

TransIDs: TransHarmful, TransRoyalty, TransKiller, TransTyrant, TransWarCriminal (Because nuke stuff with tubbo), TransManipulator, TransVisualSnow, TransHallucinations, TransInfamous, TransPTSD, TransDeath, TransDangerous, TransThreat, TransSeverityProtective, TransScoliosis, TransStalker, TransIED (Intermittent explosive disorder), TransFreckles, TransPupil, & TransScary

CisIDs: Tall, Heterochromia, Ex L'Manburg member, Married, Parent, Tear scars (Literally because of water allergy), Aquagenic urticaria (Water allergy), Green eye, Red eye, Superiority complex, Short-term memory, Loyal, Manipulated, & Push over

Pronouns: They/Them, It/It's, End/End's, Minecraft/Minecraft's, Ender/Ender's, Enderman/Enderman's, Game/Game's, Stream/Stream's, & Harm/Harm's

Species: Enderman

Age: 19

Source: DSMP (Ranboo introject)

Role: Amnesia holder

Appearance: (Art not ours made by SveNat on DeviantArt)

Here you guys go hope you like them and that they work in the system! :)

-Cumulus

[astarab1aze]

➥ Character Information Navigation

Asuka Kuraime - the wily harpy offspring of Crovita, they are currently undergoing study at the Zurine Mages’ University and are a talented painter. 

General Information (Fantasy)

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

Golden Goose

Hair, Skin, Nails

Heartbeat

Crovita, Karasuka Kuraime - an effective Askarri sorcier as the Azzar’s Deathbird, and Asuka’s mother.

Cursed Eye Effects

Eyes & Sacrifice

General Information (Fantasy)

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

Heartbeat

Languages

Little Things

Overprotective Mother

Piercings

Sexuality

Furie Night - descendent nephew to Sortia and Enfurious Night; Mauszan Oracle and cryptic werewyrm with a chip on his shoulder.

General Information (Fantasy)

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

Little Things (1)

Little Things (2)

Pet Blackwyrm

Romantic Complications (emo)

Some Sex Details

Soporific Magic

Hydre Blanglas - the inevitable, catalyst and enactor of the apocalypse; Thousand-Head Hydra and Hand of God.

Affection

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

General Information (Fantasy)

Purpose

Kaede Shikabane - just a sorcier who got the shit end of the stick his entire life; occasionally works with Crovita.

Bedroom & Cleaning Habits

Blaming Kaede

Corpse Flower Symbolism

Fear of Drowning

Future Health Problems

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

General Information (Fantasy)

JJK: Domain Expansion

JJK Information

Musical Talent

On Senkei…

Sexual & Attitudes

Sexuality & Love

Loux Garo - an ambitious and seemingly shallow shapeshifter of notoriety who works closely with Sortia and Vayn, and later becomes a god.

As a Fugitive…

Brie, Athame

Cannot Cry

Crimes Committed

Devilliers, the

Eye Detail

General Demeanor

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

General Information (Fantasy)

Hypnotic Eyes

Inventor of Tungskin

Languages

Sex: Temperature & Magic Play + Servicer

Speech Patterns

Sunfire Halo

Weaknesses

Mharra Deletholan - pissed off hermit who once served a prominent role in the Fhal'Tiran army, but is effectively a mercenary.

General Information (Fantasy)

Satra Shen - a mercenary fighting for Southern Yuurei's independence from the Fhal'Tir; sufferer of amnesia and intermittent memory issues blood magic can't fix.

General Information (Fantasy)

Shared Posts

Feelings on Body Hair

Height Comparisons

Scammability

The Weiner Post

Travel Preferences

Traveling Mirrors

Sortia Morgana - widow to Enfurious Night and wanted murderer who works closely with Loux and Vayn; vicious sanguinaurum.

As a Fugitive…

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

General Information (Fantasy)

Little Things

Rarely Takes a Lover

Sanguinaurum

Sexual Proclivities

Vayn Morteatum - a vampire who fell from grace, of a noble house, and now lives freely alongside Loux and Sortia.

Aphrodisiacal Saliva

Cuteness Aggression

General Information (Fantasy)

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

How He Uses His Magic

Little Things

Pacifist

Viresca Mandragora - a young witch currently going through training at the Zurine Mages’ University in Zuri to become a sorcier.

Family

Family Trivia

General Information (Fantasy)

General Information (Modern Fantasy)

Personal Trivia

[thesilverlock]

Girl- your art and your OC Jey Cleary is SO GORGEOUS I CAN'T- I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM

I know your OTP is Joey and Astral, so, I must ask, how would he behave or act around Dark Mist if he met him?? 👀👀👀

Would he hate Mist? Would he tolerate him??

And what is Joey's relationship with Eliphas and his previous obsession in reaching purity by removing all the chaos??

(( AAAAAAAA! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! ;A;;;

THESE are also Super fantastic questions, thank you for the opportunity for me to gush about my boy and his antics with other characters 💙🩵✨ i’m so sorry this got SO long agshdj! There are doodles/art for your reading troubles down there too!))

- - ⟢〖 MIST 〗

So Jey’s whole deal is; Despite hailing from Astral World and being obligated to participate in their favor during the war ﹣ he’s actually the Son of Balance. His father, Protos, (the Heart of Astral World, as some called) was the guardian/overseer of the harmony between Chaos and Order. Before shit hit the fan in every conceivable way lmfao On top of that, Jey’s just.. a rogue and a rapscallion ahsgdhjs He never was keen on how black-&-white the war seemed, but relearning about the complete villainization of one half of a necessary energy was the final coffin nail. And that disagreeance is literally in his soul makeup! He was created in equal Chaotic Energy and Pure Energy. That balance is intermittently tied throughout him; He is meant to be the harbinger of Balance. Even Jey himself isn’t fully aware of how ingrained it is due to his own amnesia, but he does know obliterating all Chaos is not the answer, there’s something in his bones defying it. It’s a rather big plot point in his story that he starts to feel divided from the main crew because of this. Not Yuma﹣ Yuma is the only one backing Jey up at all ﹣but Astral. And it’s Astral’s rejection (spawned from the envoy's own rigid ideals and mission) that hurts Jey enough to push him out of the group for a brief period. ✨breakup arc woes✨

. . . And this is how and when Mist finds him. They make an alarming well fit duo. Their personalities mesh, and they do surprisingly? Okay? To avoid overt toxicity in their alliance? Mist doesn’t get preached at to change, or to “join a side of the war”, or be force locked in his card, so he tolerates having Jey around. And obviously Jey can’t be affected by Mist’s number influence, and he's naturally domineering enough to counteract when Mist gets too... himself lmao. Jey has a Robin Hood type of suave and charm whereas Mist acts increasingly seductive and invades people’s space because he wants to intimidate. Jey knows how to beat Mist at his own game, which both intrigues and aggravates the Number. Like two people who know one another via a friend-of-a-friend, and go on this epic journey and end up unconventionally thick as thieves like halfway through the movie. ASDFGH

Mist likes Jey’s assertiveness and darker side - the viability to resort to vicious methods and being such a rebel personality despite supposed loyalty to the world of “pure” ideals. Jey is pulled in by Mist’s unapologetic “take me or leave me” nature and his recognition of the hypocrisy regarding the war from both ends. And ofc the Number's unique brand of effortless beauty and free-bird, unaffiliated presence. Those two tend to, pretty universally, have a quick chemistry and natural connection. [ It’s also thanks to that natural connection that a certain lightbulb gets his first experiences dealing with an ‘unknown’ and green-eyed emotion. 😉 ] Also also, fun fact - if it could not already be told by these answers lol - These two are my second highest OTP, right after Goldenship (Jey x Astral /JeiAsu) ! I call them Pierceshipping. Since they have a lot of piercing qualities (particularly their affinity for bedroom-eyed stares and smirks) And because they each canonically stab someone through the chest.

I’m so sorry I ran out of space for the Eliphas portion of the question, I’ll have to return to that! ♡ ;v;

But TLDR; For a lot of the same reasons already listed here, Jey and him do not get along. Can’t always do much ‘bout it tho cause that’s their technical boss, gotta play civil or else Jey and boifren don’t get as many missions together :(

[vyragosa]

NOBODY TOUCH IVY SHE HAS INTERMITTENT AMNESIA SHE'S MADE FOR ME

[rosescries]

Alright guys, I have a question. Since There's Still Magic has ended, what story would you guys like me to focus on next? You've got a couple options here, though most will need a bit before they'll be ready for weekly updates.

1. Goodbye To Spring- You guys already know this one, but for those who haven't read it yet: An Undertale fic that focuses more on the horror AUs adopting a Child!Mc. Kind of like TSM, this does focus on abuse and trauma. But it's more about healing from said things and growing trust between each other.

2. Bad Habits- I've talked about this one. But it's a Mob Aus based fic. It also focuses a lot on trauma, abuse, and bad coping mechanisms for those things. Also has a bit of bad people doing bad things, of course, and manipulation. It's a dark fic and will be rated for Mature audiences. There's a lot of sexual things too, but no actual scenes of it. Hence the Mature rating. This is the one I'm most excited about at the moment.

3. Requiem- An Undertale harem fic that mainly focuses on the Underlust brothers. In a set up kind of like a mix between "Can I Keep You?" and Tick Tock's Underlust section, with an adult Mc who is blind and has amnesia. This will focuses a lot on loss and letting go, and coming to terms with having to do so.

4. The Writer- A Bendy and the Ink Machine fic. Set before the events of the game and while the Studio is up and running. It lines up with the official book "Dreams Come To Life."

5. Moving Up In The World- The already published FNAF Security Breach fic. About Mc breaking into the abandoned Pizzaplex 90 years in the future and getting everyone up and running again. Haven't completely figured out everything that happened yet and need to figure out more points to get to.

6. Five Nights More- The Fnaf reboot I've mentioned quite a few times now. It's.. almost ready to be launched though I'd like to get a bit more into the first book before publishing it. It is not a reader insert, can't be with the way it's set up since it spans multiple generations. If anyone remembers Goldarine from Tick Tock, she'll be in the series! Where she originally came from actually.

I'd prefer to keep "Can I Keep You?" and "Dust Coated" on the side for now, just to expand out from TSM a bit. I'll still be working on all of these intermittently and they'll have updates, but just want to focus on other things. What would you guys prefer takes TSM's spot for weekly updates?

[miles-harding]

Welcome to our blog.

You may call us Suit (our co-host, Dairy, primarily fronts to manage this blog)

Use they/them or it/its when referring to us; we use a combination of singular and plural pronouns but primary stick to plural for ourself.

We are a bodily adult (25+) traumagenic plural system of dissociative identities with amnesia (and I would prefer it if minors did not follow us)!

We are a white USAmerican Midwestern anti-imperialist, anti-fascist, communist (Marxist-Leninist-Maoist), and abolitionist.

We’re a Queer nonbinary butch, an antipsychiatry psychiatric abuse survivor, Hard of Hearing and intermittently-verbal autistic ASL signer; neurodivergent and physically disabled mobility device-user. We talk more about mad liberation and psych abolition on our personal blogs @starblaster and @leoriowithaknife.

Our co-host, Dairy, makes art sometimes and posts it on their art blog or Neocities site.

fascists, racists, imperialist bootlickers, sexists, transmisogynists (including ‘transandrobros’), TERFs, TEHMs, SWERFs, transmedicalists (truscum), radfems, tradfems, febfems, any and all queerphobes (including queerphobic intracommunity gatekeepers, separatists, and exclusionists), Zionists, islamophobes, antisemites, anti-communist reactionaries, and other bigots will be blocked on sight.

We block people very liberally, like if they annoy us or post a lot about things that trigger us, squick us out, or otherwise make us feel excessively uncomfortable, so don’t take it personally if we have blocked you, we just don't want to see your blog.

[perturbed-pigeon]

Fluoxetine (Prozac)

I've been on Fluoxetine for a few years now and have recently had my dosage doubled so here's an info post. The words highlighted in green are what personally effects me.

Some eating disorders and mood disorders may be treated with fluoxetine. Insomnia is more likely to occur than drowsiness. The serotonin syndrome may occur if you take fluoxetine with other medications that also release serotonin, such as tramadol, or if you overdose on fluoxetine.

Anxiety and Stress, Major Depressive Disorder, Bulimia, Depression, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Postpartum Depression, Schizoaffective Disorder, Binge Eating Disorder, Agoraphobia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dysautonomia, Excoriation Disorder, Fibromyalgia, Hot Flashes, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, PANDAS Syndrome, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Premature Ejaculation, Somatoform Pain Disorder, Trichotillomania, Vulvodynia are some of the conditions this medication is used to treat.

Fluoxetine is an SSRI.

Side Effects

The most common side effects reported are; insomnia, asthenia (fatigue), and headaches.

Very Common

Headache

Somnolence (drowsiness, or the desire to sleep)

Tremor

Dizziness

Insomnia

Anxiety

Nervousness

Nausea

Diarrhea

Dry Mouth

Rhinitis (runny or itchy nose, sneezing)

Pharyngitis (sore throat)

Yawning

Asthenia (fatigue)

Anorexia

Decreased Sex Drive

Flu Syndrome

Common

Amnesia

Hyperkinesia (restlessness)

Paresthesia (a burning/prickling/numb/tingling/itching sensation that occurs on the hands, arms, legs, or feet, ect.)

Change of Taste

Abnormal Dreams

Agitation

Difficulty Paying Attention

Unstable Emotions

Hostility

Hypermania

Mania

Abnormal Thinking

Abdominal Pain

Constipation

Indigestion

Gassy-ness

Vomiting

Nosebleeds

Ear Pain

Fever

Thirst

Tinnitus

Decreased or Increased Appetite

Weight Loss

Painful Period Cramps

Erectile Dysfunction

Trouble cumming

Increased Need to Urinate

Hypertension

Abnormal Heartbeat

Rash

Sweating

Itchy Skin

Abnormal or Blurred Vision

Muscle Twitching