#internet boyfriend

[triplethreat77]

I hope Keanu Reeves is doing well. I mean he's in good health to the public knowledge, but I hope he's happy. He gives us everything we want - a new Bill and Ted after decades (lighthearted and the right amount of weird and silly), risking another Matrix movie (it was fresh and fantastic), becoming an iconic/dystopian/cyberpunk character for gaming, and continuing to constantly work his body to it's absolute limit to serve us John Wick (each movie has sicker fight choreo than the last). We don't deserve this man, but he's always willing to deliver.

[mockingjaysnakes]

"terrifying. but thanks, i guess".

it's amazing the power this wonderful man has over me.

[sincericida]

Internet boyfriend

(2023 edition... So far)

(X)

[justfandomwritings]

Rege Jean Page and Chris Pine having a Whats App group called Internets Boyfriends is literally the fastest way to get your ass dumped from being an Internet Boyfriend.

You don’t get to declare yourself the Internets Boyfriends and you have not been trending on tumblr nearly enough times for us to consider you the Internets Boyfriends.

Who do you think you are? You are not Pedro Pascal. We decide when you’re the Internets Boyfriends, and you’re on thin fucking ice.

[chrisevansluv]

This is the first time I’ve ever seen his image take this big of a nosedive. The “internet’s boyfriend” title is running to find a new, better and more appropriate home now.

Who will the title land to?

[blueeyedbesson]

remember back when noah centineo was dubbed the "internet's boyfriend" when To All The Boys first came out?

i feel like that's what joseph quinn is now and i hope it doesn't fade as quickly as noah did

joseph is surely too pure for this world

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[barbaragenova]

Recently I went to a psychic who told me my heart chakra was fucked up. She said I had to let myself be vulnerable if I wanted to find love. She said she could tell I’d been hurt, but that I had to let go. I had to let go of the people who hurt me, and let myself be loved again. Fuck that, I thought on the drive home. Fuck being vulnerable. Fuck all those assholes. Fuck my chakras. I’d rather just be alone.

Miss Unity

[imrisah]

Get booped by my cat, Tumblr

[booksofdelight]

House of the Dragon Producer Baffled at Why the Internet Loves Daemon Targaryen

HBO’s House of the Dragon has had a slew of amazing characters and the actors have made them come to life with their brilliant acting. Daemon Targaryen’s character has garnered a big following and Sara Hess, producer of the show is confused with the internet’s obsession with him.  “I don’t want him to be my boyfriend” “He’s become Internet Boyfriend in a way that baffles me,” Hess says about…

[lavalamp7writing]

To be an Internet Boyfriend

Big dark eyes, thirst traps and just enough spice to keep us coming back oh to be an internet boyfriend bondage, praise or fandoms take your pick to exploit our begging is only so good in the comment section but do the maid outfits become itchy when you read the fanfics does the sexualisation stick in your throat are there TikTok drafts where you scream tracking hot tears through eyeliner it's weird to remember that we don’t really know you despite the fantasy you offer oh to be an internet boyfriend

[gazkamurocho]

This came to me in a dream??

[indoorcoyote]

people make polls on here and then are like "why are so many people virgins this is the gay sex website >.<" like hey. listen. this website would be substantially less horny if everyone was actually having physical irl sex

this is the "gets off primarily to kinks that are impossible in real life" website and also the "would like to be having gay sex but can't due to parents/roommates/social awkwardness/disability/otherwise hostile environment or circumstances" website (and also the "thriving asexual community" website)

[pepperspoppies]

Birb Pixel gifs (Part 2)

[vldkeith]

can someone good at art draw team voltron with that like dnd podcast quote that’s like “the world should have protected you, yet you have been asked to protect it. what an honor. what an injustice.” please it could be so epic somebody get on this

[arson-09]

i HATE the term shadow daddy. If a character is referred to as “shadow daddy” by someone you know its gonna be the most uninteresting, bland and probably shitty male character to ever exist. Bro does the bare minimum and everyone falls to their feet. Shadow daddy isnt a compliment its a warning to everyone else