#is angster a word?

[skelingtonsderek]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @willowmckinley for tagging me!

How many works do you have on ao3? 67.- 29 are Teen Wolf and the next runner up is Justified at 24

What's your total ao3 word count? 565,534 total… Rinse Cycle (Teen Wolf) is my biggest single story at 145,979 not counting the bonus coda. The biggest series I have for the current fandom I’m focused on is Bad Habits at 92,533

What fandoms do you write for? Justified, Teen Wolf… I would love to do more Grimm and I’ve wanted to write for Buffy the Vampire Slayer for so long but I always end up backing away slowly holding my hands up in defeat.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Did You Expect With A Mouth Like That? - For Teen Wolf at 1,902

When You Are No Longer Useful - For Teen Wolf at 763

The Hard Part- Teen Wolf at 619

We Have Worn Out The Meaning Of Our Clothes (part of the Apparel Series) - Teen Wolf at 582

Every Nickname Has A Reason (part of the Apparel Series)- Teen Wolf at 470 And a sixth because 4 and 5 are the same series:

The Killing Type- Teen Wolf at 456

The benefits of being unpopular means I get pretty easily dodged. The next closest I have that's the current fandom I've been writing for is Remembrance. at 170

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Every single one of them every time. I’m trying not to compulsively respond to every response forever though so I’m practicing only responding a few times. Not sure I enjoy it though. It being making myself stop replying once we're two or three replies deep.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I know this might sound strange to anyone who has started but been incapable of finishing the stories I write but I’m not very good at ending unhappily. I’d say the angstiest would be It’s About Boyd (Justified) or maybe Scenes From The Battle of Us (Justified) is a good angster.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? . Uhhhhh….. Rinse Cycle or maybe Remembrance.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I think the closest I get are Sterek shippers who read some of my fic and then get a bit pupset that Sterek isn’t end game even though I always warn that it isn’t at the start if it isn’t.

9. Do you write smut? I’m not sure I remember how to write things that don’t have at least 7 sex scenes in them.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I’m not personally a fan of crossovers so much. I might read them if the premise is good enough but it’s not common for me. I find that they tend to get kind of muddled and it’s at times difficult to fuse the two worlds together in a way that makes the various themes of each cohesive. That being said, I don’t mind them. Just find that the combined elements tend to distract instead of add. It's a task to crossover universes and I don't think it's one that I'm up to.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I had a problem a very long time ago with some one reposting mine without permission or attribution on an unaffiliated third party e-publisher but that was super long ago. I have done the opposite though. I used to make it a very small hobby of mine to write short stories or poems or whatnot and leave them anonymously in people’s inboxes with a note that it was theirs to do with whatever they wished. I’d on occasion also write serial stories and pop them in to ask boxes on tumblr with permission one part at a time for a person's favorite pairing or universe.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I’ve had people ask if they can but I’ve not seen that it has happened.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not fic, no. But I’ve worked on popcorn stories and collaborative pieces elsewheres. They were all original pieces so they wouldn't be available on AO3.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I don’t think I have one.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? In fic? I only have two that would be considered WIPs. One of them (The House Carpenter) has an ending already and is complete but there is an un-published sequel I took down because I didn’t like where it was going but I plan to work on that one in the winter. The other one is an active prompt fill style fic whose ending will be when I run out of prompts. (Bad Habits) I think the closest I got is that there’s a fill I did forever ago that was supposed to have two endings and I only wrote one and never did the second. I’m not sure I ever will. I want to but I haven’t. ([Fill] My Mouth With Ecstasy)

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think my strength is in the grounding. I like to track and block a character’s movements and make sure there are as little unaccounted for motions as possible. Outside of that… Maybe my flagrant disregard for grammar conventions?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? My flagrant disregard for grammar conventions. Also sometimes I get hung up on granular details that make it difficult for a scene to play out appropriately. Also also I’m very loosy goosy and don’t exercise enough precision or control over what I write. Also also also I like using repetitive descriptions too much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? This can be useful and I have written dialogue at times in another language but I try to limit it as much as possible because I don’t speak any other languages well. I think it can be done very well but just not by me despite my attempting to repeatedly.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Probably Sherlock (BBC).

20. Favorite fic you've written? All of them. But Rinse Cycle and Remembrance. are close seconds.

I'm pretty sure Willow tagged literally everyone I've ever known so if you see this and you wish to do it then please claim that I tagged you to do it.

Would you like to do this @acorrespondence @im-not-thinking-confetti-cannons @apolardream @tallsinspace @gaylanrivens ?

[cinderfeather]

20 Questions For Writers

Yay, thank's for the tag @sinvulkt! I've seen this going round and been hoping to participate.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

81,221 words! That's basically a novel, although split out across many shorter works.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Almost all my works are Star Wars (Luke & Vader or occasionally prequals Anakin), then DC (Superman). I only have one fic about Superman posted, but I do have quite a few drafts about him.

I also try to write origional works, but I find it a lot harder to create something I feel is as compelling without having 'the iceberg of canon' beneath it. (Granted I've made a lot of progress on trying to write origional works since I started writing fanfic.)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Operation CHEER LUKE UP AFTER BESPIN (Star Wars OT)

282 kudos

This was the first fic I ever posted. I do want to finish this one, but I'm currently facing a challenging plothole, so I keep waiting till I've finished up whatever other WIP I'm working on, and then after finishing a WIP I want a break before coming back to writing a fic again, except that after a break I come up with another WIP idea…

2. Whose Propaganda is it Anyway? (Star Wars OT)

134 kudos

I'm surprised this beat Mistaken Son-dentity, given that it gets quite serious toward the end. But rereading it again I forgot how fun the first part was, and the way the first line eches the last.

3. Mistaken Son-dentity (Star Wars OT)

120 kudos

I love the crack in this one, I often think back on it if I need a way to cheer myself up but don't have access to my Ao3 bookmarks (given that I wrote it it's much easier to play in my head).

4. Skeptics of the Force (Star Wars OT)

119 kudos

I'm very proud of this one. It's the longest thing I've ever finished, and it grew from what I thought would be 7,000 words to 36,000 words. I edit very slowly so that was a Marathon! The plot and foreshadowing was very complex, so by the end it I was playing whack-a-mole with all the inconsistencies.

5. Hide (Star Wars OT)

111 kudos

I'm surprised this one was so well loved, it's very short and I was hesitant to post it because it felt a bit unfinished and like just the start of something. So I'm glad I did!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, occasionally I miss some but in general I try to keep up with them. If someone gives me unsolicited constructive critisim I generally don't reply, but I'm reluctant to delete their comment.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. So there are several top contenders:

Initially I thought The Haunting of Order-66 might be it, but then I realised that while that was one of the angster ones, it actually had quite a hopeful ending.

Alone is sad, but I don't quite feel it has the gut punch to be the top contender.

Ghost is also pretty up there, but I'd say the ending leans more into horror than 'angst'.

The above two lean into 'not getting there in time', but I think the betrayal in 'Can't Go Home' elevates the angst to another level. (I double-checked The Right Hand of Justice because it Very Much explores betrayal, but the acceptance and teeny tiny thread of hope laced into the end knocks it from first place.)

So Can't Go Home is the winner!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm. I think Rivers of Lava, Rivers of Life has a beautiful ending.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

There's a lot of imaginary hate in my head when I'm working through those last few edits before I post something 😅. Occasionally people have said they didn't like some of the ways my characters behaved, but I think it's mostly just being annoyed at them, not at the fic.

9. Do you write smut?

I don't have any posted, but there is some in my drafts. If I edited some I'm not sure if I'd post it under this account or make another I keep separate.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Sort of. I stumbled across the song 'I Know Those Eyes/This Man is Dead' (from The Count of Monte Cristo musical) and instantly went 'This has EPIC Vader/Padme reunion vibes. I promptly went and wrote a fic based on those vibes alone, and then after I finished I watched a film adaptation and read the book so I finally knew what was going on (because I knew if I looked up what was happening before I wrote the fic my perfectionism would get in the way and I'd never end up writing it).

Now, after reading the giant tome that was The Count of Monte Cristo I have an idea for a more accurate crossover called 'The Sith of Monte Cristo,' but (as I predicted) I feel too overwhelmed to write that one.

In addition, when I read Hamlet last year for the first time in my life, I was entranced and sketched out a Luke!Hamlet AU, but I also feel like that might be quite a bit of work so I haven't been motivated enough to write that either.

Finally, The Right Hand of Justice technically falls into the crossover category on Ao3, but it doesn't feel like a myth retelling makes sense to label a 'Crossover'.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If Ao3 ever been scraped as a dataset into a Large-Language-Model.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, I can only speak one language. Feel free to offer if you'd like to translate one of mine, though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not yet!

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Um, does 'Superman/anyone' count? I love Clois, but sometimes I wish there were more AUs so it wasn't just Superman/Reporter all the time. I also love a good Clex, the enimies-to-lovers angst is delicious. I am super down for Superbat - it has the double the Identity Shennagins from Clois with a light dose of the Enimies-To-Lovers angst from Clex.

However, this might be weird, but I'm really, really down for Superman/Female Origional Character, just someone fun and quirky and quite fleshed out but a bit different to Lois's personality (because I have read mountains and mountins of Clois and while it's amazing I sometimes get a little bored of the narrowness of reporter life and the 'in love with Superman, in friends with Clark' tropes). I have a few drafts of this, but then I worry that a female OC in fandom won't be very popular so I don't clean them up 😅

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Um. Um. I mean I want to finish 'Cheer Luke Up' and I will, okay, I will. It just could possibly take up to quite a number of years before I get back into it. I'm getting faster at editing, so one day it might not take that much work to finish up. I think it's just past the half-way point at the moment.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I'm really proud of a lot of the cosmic horror I've done! I think it has a great sense of a slow buildup of dread, and then some really unique and otherworldly horrors, tinged with just the right amount of wonder and awe.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Perfectionism. The initial draft isn't too hard, but it usually takes at a minimum a full week of being mostly focused on it to months for anything above 5k words. It tends to exhaust and frustrate me so much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Haven't done it yet (unless you count me makeing up stuff that sounds like Latin or outright using Latin in one or two sentences). As long as it fits well, but I think excessive use of it could frustrate the reader.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars Origional Trilogy

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Aaaaaahh. I think Stride of Terror is an awesome 'Vader captures Luke' fic, 'Cheer Luke Up' is the silliest, wildest, unhinged crack, Skeptics of the Force gazes into the abyss, and The Sith in Yellow is a really impressive piece of cosmic horror.

I'm going to say Skeptics of the Force, because out of all my fics when I think about how to bind one into a book it's that one that I want the most.

Tag time (if you wish to): @andyboops, @insertmeaningfulusername, @smolavidreader, @overallobsessiveness, @softlysuited, @softieskywalker

[tscsunlover]

I kinda didn’t want them to meet until twp but I am hoping this meeting makes twp angster

[tawaifeddiediaz]

seven sentence sunday

tagged by @herodiaz who is my fellow angster <3 have some angst.

The woman, her hair glowing as it floats above her head as if submerged in water, cocks her head. A teasing smile flits at her lips, as if she knows something Eddie doesn’t.

“Because when you screamed for him, the raw agony in your voice curdled the Earth.”

Eddie flinches away from her, curling his hands into fists as every detail of the memory slams into him. 

Realizing that he was the one screaming, that he wasn’t feeling Buck under his fingertips. The sickly, metallic scent of blood pooling under him, the stiffness of his pants when they finally tore Buck out of his arms.

The woman isn’t done hooking claws into the infinite well of pain that’s filled Eddie since the day…

Since the day Buck left.

“For us immortals, that pain begets a sacrifice. Something to give up for eternity. But here you are, mortal as ever. You will probably join your lover in fifty years — not even a speck on the timeline of an immortal — and you’re bartering for more time?”

He’s surprised at how cheap that word feels — lover.

Buck wasn’t — isn’t, Eddie mentally corrects, centering his focus on the phone in his pocket — only one thing to Eddie. They’ve never been only one thing, and Eddie can’t find another word that quite encompasses exactly what to define them as.

“Because he’s mine,” he finds himself saying, surprising himself with how right it feels. “He’s the other half of my soul, and he shouldn’t have died.”

The woman’s mouth curls into a sly grin, but her eyes shine with remorse, a mourning Eddie understands more than he’s ever wanted to.

tagging @nymika-arts @dykesdiaz @tripleaxeldiaz @woodchoc-magnum and @bieddiediaz and anyone else who wants to do this 

[the-fandom-hopping-mage]

A Reminder For Everyone: Hisirdoux Casperan's Offical Birthday Is Tomorrow, November 17th!

Thanks to a Discord conversation, a friend and I have decided we are having a baking contest (contest being a very, very loose word for it).

FEEL FREE TO JOIN IN!

Bake a cake, take a photo, the end.

Requirments:

- it must have some blue on it, blue frosting, blue cake, blue sprinkles, blue candles, anything!

- it must be edible, if it's food.

- it must be un-poisoned - I'M LOOKING AT YOU ANGSTERS, THIS IS NOT WUMPTOBER ANYMORE!!

Have fun, everyone!

I'm tagging some people, if you repost feel free to tag others!

@tenebrius-excellium

@bluespiritslight

@honeyxmonkey

@sopafloal

@archies-litterbox

Update: a lot of people are saying they can't bake, but GO FOR IT! YOU CAN DO IT! If you're an artist and really can't bake/don't have time/don't have ingredients; draw our favorite punk wizard a cake!

If you're a writer, write a story about it! Describe it!

If you don't like any of the above, you can always buy a cake and make a teensy paper happy birthday flag!

Be creative! Have fun!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Go the Distance

Prompt: Hello, I absolutely adore your work 🥺😍🥺 your Sanders Sides angst is just so goooood!!! If you're up to it, I'd love to request a fic <3 Virgil has noticed [side(s?) of your choice; they're all good choices, I can't decide ;-;] has been distant and avoiding him and he just can't figure out what he did wrong but it's actually because [side] loves him and are trying to take some time to 'get rid of/push down their feelings' The angster the better but don't push yourself ^ Feel free to add or change whatever Have a great day and no worries if you don't do this 💜💜💜~@im-an-anxious-wreck 💜🖤

Thanks for the prompt babe you’re the best

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-doubt, some lite™ angst

Pairings: prinxiety, background platonic dlampr because found family dynamics motherfuckers

Word Count:  4191

Virgil and Roman's relationship hasn't always been, well, great. But it's been getting better!

Or, at least, it was.

Listen, Virgil knows he and Roman haven’t exactly had the most…painless history. Virgil’s introduction to the series was Thomas telling Roman his dream was to get rid of him and, well, Roman was first and foremost loyal to Thomas. Then the whole…insult thing, ducking out, and the absolute mess of the callback wedding debacle, it’s not exactly been smooth sailing.

 But—okay, and maybe they’d been a little harsher about things than absolutely necessary, and maybe Roman got hit with the consequences of their fights more than Virgil, and maybe Virgil hadn’t exactly been…overwhelmingly accepting of all of Princey’s little ticks.

 But they’d still been talking!

 After the wedding, no one was on good terms with anyone save Patton and Janus—and wasn’t that the shock of a lifetime—and Remus and Virgil. Because they made the smart choice and decided ‘nope, fuck that, I’m out.’

 It was a good choice. You have any idea how high their scores are in GTFO now? The first rundown’s a fucking cakewalk.

 Anyway.

 They’d been talking! Virgil still doesn’t know exactly what happened right after—he saw the video, of course he saw the video, but Roman sunk right to his room and there’s a good twelve hours between that and the next time Virgil saw him—but Roman had come out and approached him!

 Probably because he was still hurt by the end of the video—which oof, Virgil does not blame him for, that was harsh—and his only options were Logan, Virgil, and Remus and Logan, um, didn’t want to see anyone for a while and Remus is Remus.

 Side note: those two have been getting on better. Something about their twin Creativity thing meant Remus knew that Roman was hurting bad before even Thomas did.

 But Roman did seek him out, asking him quietly if he had a moment, just a moment, to sit together. Virgil had shrugged and passed it off as nothing only for Princey to literally sit on the floor and not make a fucking noise. He’d frowned and poked his shoulder, asking if he was alright.

 “Perfectly fine, Dark and Stormy,” Roman had said lightly, “and I’ll leave you in a moment.”

 “But you’re…” Virgil had waved to his silent form. “…not acting like you normally do.”

 Roman had laughed. “And here I thought I’d never hear you say you missed me being loud.”

 “Now let’s not jump to conclusions.”

 Sure enough, a few more seconds had passed and Roman had gotten up, quietly bid Virgil good day, thanked him, and left.

 You bet your ass Virgil sunk straight into Patton’s room to ask hey what the fuck did you do to Roman.

 Patton had sighed and said that they’re not sure what to do now—‘they’ being Janus and Patton. Virgil, still recovering from the whiplash of those two being close had shaken his head and told them to get it the fuck together.

 If he sunk into Remus’s room to ask how to take care of Roman, that’s his business. It’s also his business if he tackled Princey in a hug two minutes later.

 So. Talking.

 Roman, for all he talks, doesn’t really say much. The few things he does say are easily passed off as jokes, off-handed comments that no one really pays much attention to.

 Not that anyone pays nearly enough attention to Roman, come on, guys, he makes it easy.

 But Roman talked to Virgil. He’d come in and sit and Virgil would sit next to him, trying to make sure his arm didn’t burst into flames from where it was pressed against Princey—the dude’s a fucking space heater, okay?—just to listen. Some of the time it was Disney rants—okay, most of the time it was Disney rants—but some of the time…

 “Virgil?”

 “Yeah?”

 Roman looked down at his costume. Today was repair day, unofficially called when Virgil’s hoodie ripped during the night and Roman’s sword cut through his sleeve. Virgil looked up from his own mass of fabric, needle stuck in carefully so he wouldn’t prick himself. He frowned at the look on Roman’s face.

 “What’s up, Princey?”

 “Do you think my logo looks bad?”

 Virgil blinked in shock. Roman didn’t look up and see the surprise on his face, instead running his thumb slowly over the patch on the costume.

 “What the fuck are you talking about, Princey?”

 “It’s so complicated,” Roman said, still looking down, “Logan and Patton have really simple ones. You have a pretty simple one.”

 “Janus doesn’t. Remus doesn’t.”

 “Yeah, but they’re…”

 Virgil frowned deeper, putting his hoodie on the ground and shifting closer to Roman. The prince didn’t even look up, still clutching his logo in his hands.

 “They’re what, Roman?”

 Roman swallowed. “…allowed.”

 A growl sounded from Virgil’s throat before he knew what was happening.

 “And you’re not?”

 “Hmm?”

 “And you’re not allowed, Roman?” Virgil gripped his shoulder. “Look at me, Princey.”

 Roman looked up. Virgil swallowed another growl at the despondent look on the prince’s face. Instead, he gripped Roman’s shoulder tighter.

 “No one,” he said firmly, “is allowed to tell you your logo is bad. You hear me?”

 Roman blinked.

 “I mean it, Roman,” he said, softening his voice a little, “it’s you. It’s yours, no one’s allowed to tell you it’s wrong.”

 “So that’s…okay?”

 “Yeah, Princey, it’s okay.”

 “Oh.” Roman looked back down at his costume. “Okay. Thank you, Virgil.”

 “Anytime.”

 Virgil would come to be astounded at how much he means that.

 Because, really, now that Roman’s talking? Virgil’s fucking shocked that they didn’t realize how much Roman actually has to offer.

 First off, Princey’s smart as hell. Sure, L’s the resident braincell but you can be big of brain and dumb of ass at the same time.

 If Logan tries to tell you he’s not a dumbass sometimes he is wrong.

 Roman can puzzle solve with the best of them. Do you have any idea how much brainpower it takes to write a story? A script? Understand how all those moving parts fit together and make sense as a whole? Virgil sure as hell didn’t. He spent one afternoon trying to help Roman only for it to end up as Roman explaining what he was doing and Virgil frantically trying to keep up. Don’t even get him started on how impressive the Imagination stuff is.

 “It’s my job, Fall Out Brood,” Roman laughs every single time Virgil expresses how fucking cool this is, “have to be good at something.”

 And Roman is. He’s good.

 Second: Patton may be the heart, Logan may be the brains, but no one is as good at reassuring him as Roman. Probably has something to do with the Creativity gig. Roman had asked, politely, if Virgil would be comfortable telling him what to do when he gets really anxious, whether to leave him alone, get him somewhere safe, get him things, what have you. Virgil had told him, bemused, only to be shuttled into somewhere that screamed safewarmcomfortableeverythingisokay the next time he had a panic attack. Roman, with the lack of shame truly becoming of a theatre kid, had no problems cheering him up by loudly declaring he would fight whatever shadowy figures plagued his little nightmare, swatting at the air with his sword until Virgil’s sobs had turned into giggles. He never made Virgil talk about anything if he didn’t want to, didn’t try to sit and work through things if they weren’t ready, and never touched him unless he’d gotten the okay. The first time Virgil told him he’d be fine with receiving hugs in the aftermath was the warmest he’d felt in years.

 Princey gives really good hugs.

 Third: Roman’s fucking funny.

 Remember the whole ‘smart as hell’ thing? Know how Logan’s funny as fuck too when he lets himself be?

 Virgil’s lost count of how many times he’s had to gasp out for Roman to shut the fuck up because his sides hurt too much from laughing. He ends up sprawled across the fucking floor or the couch or Princey’s bed, dying very happily but painfully because Roman won’t stop making him laugh.

 Most of the time it’s due to something they’re watching and Roman’ll notice some detail that he picks apart until they’re both howling or Virgil will make one sarcastic comment that turns into a full fucking bit for like…ten minutes. Roman will just keep riffing off of the smallest thing until he’s laughing too hard to keep going—not very likely—or Virgil will flail out desperately and smack him—much more likely.

 Princey said he makes fun of the things he loves.

 …maybe that’s why he doesn’t make fun of Virgil anymore.

 Virgil curls tighter around the pillow, clutching it to his chest. As he rubs his cheek against it, he grimaces. It’s too rough. It’s not warm enough. It doesn’t smell right.

 They’d been talking. It had been good.

 But that was before.

 Before Roman had cautiously approached Logan with an apology, the offering of a new planner for him, the promise to listen to him, hear him out, give him space to speak. Logan had accepted.

 Before Roman had opened the border between his and Remus’s side of the Imagination, sending a little puppy scuttling over to his brother’s castle with a note, a dagger, and a vial of acid. It returned as a kitten with a beautifully poisonous rose.

 Before Roman had finally, finally, after days of trying, opened the door when Patton knocked, letting him come inside so they could talk, about everything that happened since…well, ever. They hadn’t stopped hugging long enough to walk down the stairs.

 Before Roman had let Janus, Janus, take care of him.

 And now…

 Now Roman didn’t want to be in the same room as him.

 It feels as if they’re walking on eggshells around each other again, Virgil appearing in a room only for Roman to completely disappear, getting up and leaving a conversation entirely just to avoid him, Virgil knocking on Roman’s door only for Roman to shout that he’s busy, not to come inside, Virgil, trying, trying to figure out where Roman’s gone, what’s happened, only to receive the cold shoulder.

 A problem none of the other Sides seemed to be having.

 He clutches the pillow to his chest.

 Did he—did he do something wrong?

 Does Roman—does Roman not like him anymore?

 Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed so hard about talking to the others. Roman needed space, needed time, he didn’t need someone else breathing down his neck. He should’ve let Roman set the pace, listened more, been kinder to him when he needed reassurance.

 Maybe he shouldn’t have made Roman think it was his fault that the others were taking so long, or suggested that if he wanted things to get better he should try talking first. Roman had been taught by everyone else that things were his fault already, Virgil didn’t need to jump on that train too.

 Maybe he should’ve been kinder to Roman, less focused on making the others understand that they hurt Roman. Everyone in the Mindscape knew that Roman was hurt, Virgil should’ve helped fix that, taken care of Roman, not pushed the blame onto everyone else.

 Maybe Roman didn’t like what he had to say about Disney films. They were Roman’s comfort watches, the last thing he needed was for someone to cruelly rip away his enjoyment of one of the few things he could enjoy.

 Maybe Roman didn’t like Virgil’s way of taking care of him. Virgil never pushed, never did Roman the courtesy of asking, like Roman did with him, just assumed he knew best how to comfort someone and left it there. Roman might’ve needed more hugs, more time, less distraction, just something other than what Virgil gave him.

 Maybe Roman didn’t like how much Virgil ended up hoarding him to himself. Not letting him go to the others for comfort, just to work things out. Maybe he thought Virgil was just keeping him upset so he could hang out with him more.

 Or maybe…

 Virgil muffles his sob in the pillow.

 Maybe Roman needed or wanted him anyway.

 Maybe Roman was just waiting until he could get the comfort he actually wanted. Maybe he waited until the others were easier to talk to so he could go back to what he really needed. Maybe Virgil was just a placeholder until Roman could get hugs from Patton and Remus, talk with Logan and Janus, not him. Never him.

 Maybe that’s…okay.

 It’s not, it won’t be fucking okay for a long time, but one day, it will be okay.

 Virgil curses and throttles the pillow in his arms, wishing for it to be real, to be warm, to be a chest of white and gold and a splash of red, for it to wraps its arms around him and say it’s okay, shadow-ling, I’m here, I won’t leave you, shh.

 But it’s just a pillow.

 Has his room always been this cold?

 Have Disney movies always looked this flat?

 Has music always sounded this gray?

 Has Virgil always been this alone?

 He can hear them in the living room below him. He can hear Roman and Logan throwing quips back and forth, can hear Remus tackling his brother into the wall, and Roman protesting. He can hear Janus scolding Remus and checking to make sure Roman’s not injured, can hear Roman wave him off gently and go right back to verbally sparring with Logan. He can hear Patton laughing too hard, falling off the couch and begging the two of them to let up, let him breathe, can hear Roman coo and call him sweet, adorable, in that soft voice he only uses when he’s talking to someone he cares about.

 Can’t hear any of them worrying about where he is.

 Maybe it’s better this way.

 He got greedy, took too much of what was never his to take, what wasn’t given to him freely. He latched onto the first thing he thought was for him and didn’t stop to think that it wasn’t. He may think he’s been included in the famILY but he knows he’s still an outsider.

 He may be Virgil now but deep down he’ll always be Anxiety.

 So here he will stay, in the cold of his room, in the dark of his face smushed into a pillow that will never be real. He will stay and he will be happy.

 But not today.

 He sniffles and smears his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie, not bothering to pull away from the pillow long enough to wipe tears properly. His limbs start to protest as he hugs it tighter, tighter, tighter, but it’s no use. He can feel his own arms through the pillow. There isn’t enough—there’s too much give in the pillow. It’s just a fucking pillow but it’s not enough.

 Another laugh from downstairs and Virgil growls, burying his head in the pillow until he can’t hear himself think.

 Can’t hear anything but his own muffled sobs ringing in his ears.

 Can’t hear anything other than the thought swirling around and around his head that he’ll never be enough, that he’ll never be wanted, that he’ll never be anything other than Anxiety.

 Can’t hear the soft knock at the door.

 “Virgil?”

 The voices in his head must be getting pretty powerful because he’s certain he can hear Roman calling for him. He buries deeper in the pillow.

 “Virgil? Virgil, can you hear me?”

 Yes, he thinks, yes, I can hear you, which means I’m not crying hard enough.

 “Can I come in, shadow-ling?”

 Yes, he thinks, come in and make me forget that you don’t need me anymore.

 He must really be losing it because he thinks he can hear the door open and close again with a soft click, followed by a sharp intake of breath and a soft coo.

 “Oh, shadow-ling,” the imaginary Roman murmurs, “come here, little Stormcloud.”

 Oh, his imagination is being cruel to him right now because the sensation of warm arms around his waist and shoulders fucking burns. He buries his face in the pillow until he can’t tell which way is up anymore, not sure how he’s tricked himself into imagining Roman’s cradling him but too unwilling to let the illusion go.

 “That’s right, Stormcloud, relax for me, I’ve got you, I’m right here, shh, shh, you’re alright,” the imaginary Roman keeps whispering in that cruelly soft voice, “you’re doing great, shadow-ling.”

 Virgil wants him to be real. So bad he aches from it. But he knows he’s not.

 What happens next breaks his fucking heart.

 The imaginary Roman kisses him.

 It’s chaste, a barely-there brush of his lips against his forehead but it tears a whine out of Virgil’s throat before he can stop it. The imaginary Roman hushes him gently, pressing another kiss to the part of his cheek not buried in the pillow and it taunts him with how real it feels. The slightly chapped lips, the warm rush of air as Roman breathes, the light brush of his nose as he pulls away.

 It’s too much.

 It’s too much and he wants it to be real so badly but he knows the instant he pulls away it will vanish and that might just break him.

 Then he realizes the imaginary Roman is talking to him.

 “Breathe, Stormcloud, you’ve got to breathe,” he coaxes, “I know it’s tempting to stay buried in a pillow all day, but you can’t breathe properly like that, sweetheart.”

  No, no, don’t call me sweetheart, I’ll break.

 “Shadow-ling, Stormcloud, my darling,” the imaginary Roman says instead, “come on…”

 Well, now he’s disappointing imaginary Roman too. Figures. He can’t do anything right.

 “Of course you can,” the imaginary Roman pleads, “just breathe for me, shadow-ling, I’m right here, I’ve got you, you can keep your eyes closed if you need to, just breathe.”

 Another whine. Another kiss pressed against his head. The whine grows louder.

 “Shh, shh, my darling,” imaginary Roman murmurs, “breathe, come on, just—trust me, okay? Can I ask that of you, Stormcloud?”

 And goddamnit, this is why Virgil can’t do anything.

 Virgil trusts him.

 So he prepares himself for heartbreak and lifts his head.

 “Thank you, shadow-ling,” imaginary Roman—wait, he’s still here?—murmurs, rubbing his back, “there you go, now just breathe—oh! Oh, come here, lean on me, I’ve got you.”

 Having listed to the side horribly, Virgil lands against a solidwarmsafereal chest and—and—

 “R-Roman?”

 “Yes, my darling,” not imaginary Roman says, still kissing Virgil’s forehead, “I’m here, I’m here.”

 White-hot rage burns Virgil’s tears.

 He lets out a yell and shoves, not caring that it throws them both horribly off-balance, threatening to send him tumbling to the floor. He hears Roman cry out, trying to keep ahold of him, but he scrabbles and gets his hands around the bedpost and pulls.

 “Virgil—Virgil stop, you’re going to hurt yourself—“

 “Why do you care?” The rage coats his tongue. “You fucking left, you—you—you fucking didn’t care about me anymore, you decided you didn’t want me anymore and you fucking left so don’t try and care now!”

 “Virgil—sweetheart, I—“

 “Don’t fucking call me that!” He keeps his eyes squeezed tight. “You didn’t give a fuck about me when you left, when you got your fucking family back, you think—you think you can just waltz back in like you didn’t abandon me?”

 “Virgil—“

 “Because you did, Roman!” Virgil blindly shoves at where the prince was before, knocking him into the wall. “You fucking left me as soon as you got the others back like I—like I never did anything for you and now you—now you can’t even look at me.”

 “I’m looking at you now.”

 Virgil laughs.

 He throws his head back and howls until his chest and throat ache.

 “You didn’t give a shit when the others started talking to you. You just fucking up and abandoned me like you never cared about me in the first place. You replaced me with them or—or abandoned me as your placeholder and I’m fucking hurt, Roman.”

 “I know.”

 “Then why did you do it?”

 Silence.

 Virgil’s heart stops.

 No.

 No, no, no, no—

 He fucked up.

 He fucked up so bad.

 Roman left.

 Roman’s not here anymore.

 Roman left again, he made Roman leave, he—he fucked up so bad, he shouldn’t have yelled, he’s fucked up, he hurt Roman, no, no, no, no—

 On instinct, his hands hook into claws.

 Only to be caught by warmsolidreal hands and brought to something soft.

 “Don’t,” comes Roman’s softsaferealhurt voice, murmuring in his ear as he holds him still, “don’t scratch, sweetheart.”

 “Don’t—“

 “I know, I know,” Roman says immediately, “you said not to call you that. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry.”

 …what?

 “I didn’t realize I was hurting you,” comes the voice again, “that’s no excuse, I know, but please, Virgil, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to abandon you.”

 Virgil swallows. “What the fuck do you call it then?”

 “I didn’t want to push my luck.”

  What?

 “You were being so good to me, Virgil,” Roman murmurs, oblivious to the internal struggle Virgil’s currently facing, “so kind, so supportive, that I…I realized I wanted to ask more from you. Things I had no business asking. And the longer you kept on being you, the harder it was to resist the urge to push and risk shattering everything you’d let me build with you.”

 “What—“ Virgil swallows— “what the fuck did you want?”

 Roman stills in front of him. With his eyes still shut, he can’t tell what’s going on, but when Roman speaks next his voice is hoarse.

 “Before I ask,” comes the whisper, “I want you to know that you have every right to say no. You can push me away, shove me out of your room, stay angry at me for as long as you want. I’ve hurt you, badly, and I have no right to ask this of you. I want you to know that. That I’m okay with you asserting that right.”

 Fuck, Princey.

 “…what do you want?”

 A pause. Then a soft rush of air, right on his face.

 “May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”

 Oh.

  Oh.

  Oh, no.

 “R-Roman?”

 “That’s it,” Roman murmurs and oh, his mouth is right next to Virgil’s, “that’s what I want, shadow-ling.”

 He shifts a little until Virgil can feel Roman’s warmth.

 “That and everything that goes with it.”

 “Why—why did you leave? I-if that’s what you wanted?”

 “Because that would mean to push,” Roman says immediately, “and the last thing I wanted was to push you away. I thought if I could…rein it in, control it, I could…I wouldn’t hurt you.”

 A soft chuckle.

 “Look how well that turned out.”

 “But the others—“

 “I needed Remus to tell me what was going on,” Roman says wryly, “Janus to point out that I was okay in wanting something, Patton to help me figure it out, and Logan to kick my ass into doing it.”

 “To…to ask me?”

 “Yes, Stormcloud,” comes the whisper, “to ask you.”

 “And if I say yes?”

 He can feel Roman’s lips turn up.

 “…then I’ll kiss you, Stormcloud.”

 “Are you really here?”

 The question bursts out of him before he can stop it, immediately biting his lip in reprimand for letting it.

 “Open your eyes, Virgil,” Roman says softly, “look at me.”

 He shakes his head, not wanting it to be imaginary. Not now, not after this. Roman squeezes his hands.

 “Look at me, Stormcloud,” he whispers, “look at me.”

  Fuck it.

 Roman smiles at him, real and warm and soft and here. He squeezes Virgil’s hands again and takes the smallest step closer.

 “I’m here,” he says, wrapping Virgil’s arms around his neck, “I’m right here, shadow-ling.”

 He’s here.

 This won’t fix everything. But it’s one hell of a start.

 “Ask me again.”

 “May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”

 Virgil shakes his head. “Not like that. Ask me properly.”

 Confusion dances on Roman’s face before realization hits. His smile widens and he brings a hand to Virgil’s head. Virgil clutches Roman tight as he gets dipped into the prince’s arms. Roman leans forward until his mouth almost catches Virgil’s.

 “May I kiss you, sweetheart?”

  “Yes.”

 General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions

 If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know! 

[kaykay-13]

I just binged all of silver lunacy; sanguine bloodlust in a whole day and it's only a little shorter than the prisoner of azkaban. I don't know what to do with this information but question why people think it's okay to leave unsupervised.

Very good work by the way, i cried why must you bestow such pain,,,

a

well the prisoner of azkaban comparison really put the amount of words i’ve written into perspective……. *nervous laughter* i promise i have a life outside ao3

anyway! thank you so much for reading dkdbdjdn i’m glad you enjoyed it! the spin offs are for fluffy goodness and the angst is because the angsters demand it. it’s really not my fault ;3c

[enchanted-lightning-aes]

Awegust Week 1: Introduction

hey there, I’m Enchant, a hybrid writeblr. I’m mostly a fanfic writer with original projects on the side. I’m open to read any genre, which is why I’m a fan of many ppl around here in writeblr! like y’all got great stuff I love seeing on mah dash. ✨

my main original WIPs consists of the following: a contemporary new adult, which is currently on it’s first draft. and the other is a pirate fantasy, which is on the brainstorming phase, so it’s going to take me awhile to make more content for that.

so, for this week, these people are the following recs:

@47crayons, she’s got cool chaotic neutral characters going through angst in her WIPS! she’s got beautiful prose, and is a genius with words! I highly recommend The Wicked Within, if you’re looking for messed up people growing close together! ✨

@writing-is-a-martial-art, then here’s Oleg, who writes stuff with the wackiest storylines, which packs a punch for entertainment! from a fantasy school with different creatures, they provide adventures which I revel deeply in. also chaos is everywhere in their stories and it’s hilarious to a TEA. ✨

To the first two mentioned, together (yes, me included), we’re the PowerPuff Angsters who like making characters go through stuff! why?? for plot. 😂

@magic-is-something-we-create, ah, and there’s Pax! he’s got worldbuilding down in a nutshell, and his current WIP, Firebreathers, is a great mix of everything?? u want ppl tryna save their skins?? this WIP’s got it! you want humor blended in with beautiful prose?? well then, Pax’s got your back! ✨

@viskafrer, who’s got Color Me Gone and is a lovely presence around the writeblr community! she’s got a main character with the right amount of flair and sass, who I like deeply. also her WIP carries a sense of intrigue that makes me eager to know more. she’s awesome and keeps this community going. ✨

I still have plenty of ppl to rec, however, these are the ones I want to give a shout-out to. thanks for reading! ✨

[sp-ud]

michael_beloved is canonically "half-dead" in the words of ranboo when talking to foolish.

so yall angsters being like "michael is a mindless corpse who cant love his parents back" shut the fuck up.

[withinkandquill]

Evil Writing Rating Game

So the rules are: for every question that pertains to you, put an x between the [ and ] and then at the end, add up all of your x's.

1. [ X ] There is a weird sense of accomplishment that washes over me when my readers yell at me for how terrible I am.

2. [ ] Happy ending? What is that?

3. [ X ] Hurt/comfort is my bread and butter... wait... hurt... without the comfort.

4. [ ] hey, the way I see it, if I have to struggle through life, why should my characters have it easy?

5. [ X ] I may or may not have a reputation among my friends that I am the "angst" writer.

6. [ ] I have been tagged to at least 2 posts from others either pertaining to the torture or death of my characters or angst writing in general.

7. [ X ] It's not that I love torturing them... okay, I can't say that with a straight face. I do. I love it, sorry not sorry.

8. [ X ] I am allergic to happy-go-lucky characters staying that way through the whole story.

9. [ ] Every time I try to write fluff, it morphs into... not fluff.

10. [ X ] I have even made myself cry with my writing.

BONUS FOR THE OVER-ACHIEVING ANGSTER: [ X ] All of my characters have tragic backstories with terrible families and/or some sort of trauma.

Now add up your x's and multiple by 10. That is the percentage of how evil you are as a writer.

Tag some friends to play too!

Only 70% evil! That's surprising, actually! Though, most of my stuff here tends to be very mild hurt/comfort or fluff as that's what most of my mutuals request so 🤷🏻‍♀️. Seriously, though, if you want to give me the angst, give me the angst! I'll break your heart!

Tagged by: @mystcwritings

Tagging: @pages-and-words @pattydoesthatwritingthing @adivinoperdido @masteredlegacy @mostincrediblechange @starfalled @starcchild @pastchronicled @butcherburned @butterflyrps and anyone else who wants to join!

[charliefrownyt]

Birthday (Sanders sides)

TW: May be hinting some ships maybe not who knows.

 ~Roman’s pov~

We have everything for Virgil’s birthday set up. Cake and decorations and all the emo’s favorite things. Me, Logan, Patton, Remus and even Janus set everything up for Virgil. We turned off all the lights and waited for Mr. Angster to come down the stairs. We waited a few minutes hiding behind the couch.. We then heard footsteps and knew it was Virgil. We jumped up and the lights turned on and we shouted, “Happy Birthday Virgil!” Virgil jumped back a bit and looked around. 

~Virgil’s pov~

I jumped a bit from the others but then looked around seeing a bunch of dark purple balloons hung up everywhere, I see a banner and it’s light purple and the words in black say ‘Happy Birthday Virgil!’ I try to push back the smile I had. I know it’s urging to come out but I don’t want it to show. I see Patton walk out with a cake, it looks like it’s chocolate with light purple icing. It was four layers tall. Dark purple and a bit white flowers going up the side. It had black curves all over the cake. Black frosting rimming the layers of cake. It looks so pretty. It has tall black candles at the top. Patton set the cake down on the coffee table.

~Patton’s pov~

“Happy Birthday Virge! We made you a cake! Roman and Remus designed it, Janus told us your favorite flavors, and me and Lo Lo baked it!” I said very happy. “The frosting is vanilla! The flowers are white chocolate! And the cake is Dark chocolate!” I told Virgil smiling. I watched Virgil nod and smile. We all sung happy birthday and watch Virgil blow out his candles.  He thanked us. After Janus, Remus, Roman and Logan gave Virgil his gifts.

~Roman’s pov~

I give Virgil a box shaped like a heart, it was black with a purple ribbon wrapped around it in a bow. He slowly unwrapped the ribbed and opened the box, it was filled chocolate and a bunch of sweets that I knew Virgil liked. and coffee pack. He smiled at me, “Thanks princy.” Virgil said to me, I smiled back. He’s so cute when he’s smiling.

~Logan’s pov~

I handed Virgil a box of disks, there is a lot of music I thought Virgil would enjoy in there, and there is some music that I believe will calm Virgil down in case an apprehension happens. I watch as Virgil opens the box he smiles and hugs me, I am surprised by this and hug back. Remus then comes with his present for Virgil.

~Remus’s pov~

I give the emo a box and it had a huge human skull in it. I thought it would be super cool to give to Virgie. Virgil opens the box and takes the skull out, “Where did you get this from-” He asks, I laugh, “Somewhere~” I say smiling, Virgil shrugs and thanks me for it. He set it to the side with his other present. I told Virgil it was real, Virgil nodded, “Course it is- Thanks Remus.” Virgil said. Jan Jan then came to Virgil with his present for Virgil.

~Janus’s pov~

I hold out a small box for Virgil, he takes it hesitantly. He then opened it slowly, I watched. Hoping he likes what is inside. He pulled out a gold necklace. The charm on it said ‘I hate you’ I got it foe him because he hates some people, like me and he can show it to people he hates now but if he’s shows it to himself I am gonna do something about it. I watched him hold it up, he looked at it, then he put it on quickly, he hugged me, he doesn’t hug me. He hasn’t hugged me since before he left me and Remus. I hug back tightly, refusing to let him go. “I love it.” Virgil told me. I smiled a bit, but hid it with my arm. Virgil then pulled away, I let him go,not really wanting to. I then pull him back into a hug, not noticing I did. He hugged back a bit surprised at first, he had wide eyes for a few seconds. I then finally let him go, he thanked me and the other.

~Virgil’s pov~

I love all the gifts the others got me. I liked the attention but they don’t get to know that. We all got a slice of cake and it was the best cake I ever had. We all talked and watched movies all day, and played some video games. Thomas came later to hang out with us. We all had a good time. This was probably the best birthday I ever had.

The cake:

The Neckalace:

__________________________________________________________

Words: 800

Hope you liked that little one shot. Happy Birthday our favorite angsty boy!!!💜

[ruby-whistler]

Are you normal or do u sometimes go "IVE BEEN SCARED OF SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHTS ON(off? Idk its hard to decipher)"/lyrics -curious anon

me: oh boy, can't wait to try and make a tumblr blog! Before i do i should research it- *what in the hecking heck is an xkit*

djskdjsk i had no idea what an xkit was until yesterday and when i got it i got too confused and uninstalled it - dw curious anon i don’t use it either i just vibe and do whatever i guess. if you tag correctly and make good posts things should work out, can’t wait to see your acc around!

I got some sad-ist merch :DDD!!

yooo!! that’s so pog for you! it’s probably pretty comfy :D

me standing ominously in your askbox waiting to rec my fav fics:

fjsjdjsk i literally just finished passerine i still have 80 more (some of which are like 300k words long) on my to-read but uh if they have c!dream mischaracterized i’ll not be reading them anyways so it’s very hit-or-miss, will probably get through some of them quicker-

After many moons spent under the dsmp, seeing discourse and analysis alike, i have come to the conclusion i simply do not have the energy to care about any lore outside of c!tubbo and c!tommy's and will only defend them. And that is ok. It is ok to not watch or care about all dsmp or want to discourse about them or analyze. Idk man was thinking deep thoughts today

it’s ok to watch entertainment and enjoy it the way you want to! it’s great to want to enjoy or talk about your fav character!

the problems come up when you attack other people for their perspectives on the medium or spread misinformation about different characters based on only watching the perspective you like, but you know - if you’re not doing analysis, you really don’t need to look that deep into it.

it’s ok to just chill. your feelings about characters are valid! :D so yeah i agree with you! let people with different opinions exist if they’re also being respectful (e. g. tagging correctly).

Hey ik u worked with animgician's newest vid and i found a not-crit (i rlly think) little thought on it if u wanna see it

yoo feel free to send it in!!

No one: me: *shuffles around* wanna hear about my cool warden c!tommy au?

may i interest u in a little bit of my writing? If not that is ok i just wanna see if my writing is any good before working on a fic lol

Anyways if i am not in the askbox for a little it is because i am now writing a proper fic thing out. Wish me luck o7 -curious anon (i have three different lyrics i am going to be incorporating and a little analysis and just a smidgen of projection)

Ruby do u wanna read a little something i wrote? *does the little fingers thing* its really short just a headcanon with a little prose

i sure do! that sounds rlly cool - are you sure you don't wanna make a post about that on your own account though? i don't mind seeing it at all but i think the c!tommy tag would be able to appreciate that au better than my followers. you've gotta find the right target audience, y'know? /lh

though of course i'd love to see your writing, i'm sure it's great! looking forward to it :]

Ayo i remembered u talking about how punitive punishment doesn't work the other day so i want to discuss. What would u consider to be a fitting "punishment" for c!dream's canonic killing of mexican dream?/gen

i mean... we're not trying to - being against punitive justice is about the fact punishment is wrong, not just certain types of it. asking me what a "fitting punishment" would be is sort of very not getting the point.

hurting people further is not going to teach them anything and it’s not going to help anyone, why is it necessary?

so the answer is: none. he shouldn’t be punished, actually! he should learn on his own that what he did wasn’t right, and that’s about it. that’s the thing about transformative justice. him becoming a better person who Wouldn’t Do That again because it goes against who he is.

however, there’s also restorative justice, which is working to “make it up” to the victims. to which i propose; dream has the revival book and could literally bring him back once he is out of the prison. give him some powder maybe. md would probably be chill w/ that.

Yknow. In all my time in dsmpblr i can confidently say that the main differnece between c!dream apologist/enthusiants and c!wilbur/sam ones is that the c!wilbur/c!sam ones want their fav to have a breakdown and c!dream ones want theirs to get positive reinforcement /hj /lh

i’m pretty sure the sam and wil ones also want them to get better/get redeemed, at least deep down, but i get what you mean! you’re *glances at the 🟩⛏ gc where all we do 24/7 is write angst about c!dream being terribly hurt and then we cry about it* 100% correct. no angsters who like the pain here *nervously laughs* we all just want him to heal and be happy for the rest of his life with no heart-shattering breakdowns whatsoever! /s /lh

Hope ur having a great day m8 :]] -curious anon (also i have a new canon fact i wanna share. In quackity's alt lore stream yesterday he said (to the best of my memory) that "no law/juridsiction exists on the dream smp to prevent one from building anywhere" so i guess that clears up the big debate on wheather or not c!dream had a right to enforce rules (or basically the arguement that he owned the server by divine rule)

no i’m - i’m pretty sure that’s just how it works. dream still owns the smp, but he himself has said wayy back at the beginning “everyone can build and go wherever they want” and that was that. it was one of his rules on the smp, it was his main problem with l’manberg. being able to build anywhere were the rules that he “had the right” to enforce. and he did, not because he was a god, but because it was his smp, his home that he claimed for his friends. wouldn’t call it a big debate, it’s really that simple.

.AGONY. HURT EVEN. THIS IS HOW IT IS FOR CURIOUS ANON. I LAUGH, I CRY, I FIND AN ANIMATED GIF ON TWITTER THAT SQUEEZES MY C!TOMMY ENJOYER HEART INTO OBLIVION. (i am being dramatic btw for the funnies just so ya know) I AM NOT GOING TO FINANICALLY RECOVER FROM THIS. AAAAAAAAAAA UEEEEEEE

OK THAT FREAKING

O U C H-

also for the old phil ask. Hes a bad dad because of how he treated ghostbur. I will elaborate if u want

didn’t ghostbur just say “i’m not wilbur” and philza said “you’re not my son” and they went on with their day? weren’t they actually in agreement that he wasn’t the same as wil when he was alive? i don’t remember him really treating him badly tbh other than disowning him which seems fair to me, because ghostbur was a literal stranger to phil at that point?

wish you a nice day, curious anon! (i’ll be back on my essays and answering other asks now, so i might not reply right away :])

[mindblindbard]

Friday Progress Report

New Demo Drop Date: In 2 days. (6/28)

Words in Next Demo: 40,000 total  42,000 total 

New Average Playthrough Length: 9,500 (twice the length as before!)

What to expect:  The first half of Chapter 2 (Chapter 2 is lonnnnng)

Rosy, Glitch, and Sally are all introduced, albeit Sally only at the end. Orientation is really more a first class because Rosy hates answering questions and would rather just boss people around (Rosy is a jerk). Chapter 2 also explains how missions will be done in the future--Button is walked through target profiles step-by-step, whereas later, you’ll simply be handed the sheet and will need to make connections yourself based off prior interactions. Failure is super viable for players not interested in paying close attention to clues (let’s hear it for the Effort Stat!).

Hopefully, the new material doesn’t seem like a tutorial though since most the information can be gained simply by conversing/flirting with Glitch. (Players who dislike Glitch or want to be isolated angsters can sit in a corner and study things by their lonesome, which is also fine. I’m also working on a not-yet implemented route of having Rosy explain things since that is technically their job.)

There may also be drama and ominous foreshadowing.

[echoedfates-archive]

§§§§§§§§§§ (feel free to use sylvain and your other muses here too let's party katya!)

Oh boy I’ve started something haven’t I? Only doing FE and muses I know though!

1. Zero x Sharena. I can just see her spraying him with a water bottle every time he opens his mouth.

2. Arete x Shiro. Potential grandbaby since I don’t think most people really count Aqua and Ryoma as any kind of siblings (but then Fates is a mess for that) and if not, potential friend or bf to grandbaby!!!

3. Marc x Sharena (again!). Shenanigans. Constant shenanigans.

4. Camus x Lukas. THE ONE TRUE PAIRING. THE FATED COUPLE. STAR CROSSED LOVERS. SOULMATES.

5. Seteth x Sylvain. Well, I mean. They have plenty of time to get to know each other... In detention.

6. Lif x Kiran. Kiran I am so sorry you have to see him like this... Though fuck I’m an angster, so the interaction with or without a ship is tempting.

7. Charlotte x Lukas. Did we have them interact at some point? I feel like we did. Just, it vaguely rings a bell. Anyway, boy would she be a handful. Sorry Lukas.

8. Dorothea x Caspar. I can’t believe it. An actually viable ship came up... I don’t think I ever read their A support and I need to do that.

9. Hilda x Sharena (x3???). Girlfriends getting makeovers and taking naps.

10. Ophelia x Kiran. You know she’d gush over breid-I cannot find the will to google the word.

[angel-scythe]

I need you : Chapter 3

Hi!

Next chapter! I’m pretty excited because things become angster <3 (And well... I’m surprising myself read again few chapters so it should not be so bad?)

Here, I let you enjoy! Don’t forget to push gently my door to read on AO3 (or just smash it!!)

|   °|

A soft smell was floating around. Niles moved a bit in the sofa and realized there was a pillow under his head. He could tell that was coming from his room and he pressed his fingers on it. The perfume was really soft but he could tell it was food and he didn’t want to eat. He needed to look the hour too but couldn’t.  He preferred looking the TV, where you could see dolphin. He didn’t like dolphin because he could remembered that time in an aquarium where one throw himself on the glass and Connor started to cry so much, terrified. Their mom had scolded him.

He hated him for that day because he should have explained what happened to their mom. It was really frightening… and it was worst even when they bought them plush. Dolphin plush and he didn’t dare asking something else for his brother who had hated that present for weeks.

He was awful.

All he had was his brother and he hadn’t protected him. He couldn’t protect him…

He curled up and pressed his knees against his chest. He needed to reach the controller to change the TV but he felt weak. He also needed to go in the bathroom. He needed to do something…

The memories were coming again and again in his mind. He curled up more. He felt so bad.

“G… Ga… Gavin?”

The Android appeared pretty quickly and jumped when he saw the tears rolling on his cheeks. He rushed to him and pressed his vest on them.

“That’s okay,” he said.

“Can… can you… change… the channel?”

“Lol cats?”

Niles nodded.

The TV changed to funny videos with cat.

“Nightmare?” the Android asked.

Niles shook his head. “I hate dolphin.”

“Those motherphcker!”

“Yeah,” he said under his breath.

“You should watch a reporting where they’re killed by Japanese!”

The man forced himself to smile just a tiny bit but it was hard. So he just pressed his head on his arms.

“I made hot cocoa for you.”

“I’m not hungry.” He snored, curling up.

The tears were still rolling, he felt so bad. So bad. He didn’t have cry for weeks and now he cried two days one after the other…

“Sin… Since when are you there? I can’t remember…”

“Five days.”

Niles looked him without a word, his eyes still wet and letting tears coming.

“You know what? I’ll keep the tracking! Look that!” Gavin left the room and came back with a tiny board you could erase and write back it.

In was on the refrigerator.

It was a present from Connor.

Gavin wrote ‘I’m here since’ and then ‘Days’ a bit lower. He crouched in front of the man and gave him the marker.

“Can you?”

“I’ll try…”

Niles took the marker in his shaking hand and moved it on the board. The five was weird but there.

“Great job!”

The man didn’t think so and he put down the marker. He closed his eyes, didn’t dare to ask Gavin for helping him to go in the bathroom.

“Can you… I’m okay for the cocoa,” he said.

It will be easier for him to go on the bathroom that way…

“Nice! I go get it!”

The kitchen wasn’t so far away so Gavin reach it pretty quickly and from there, he could hear a sound of the floor. He turned his head and saw Niles on the floor, moving toward the bathroom. He wanted to help him but knew also it was a bad idea so he stayed there. Moving things and doing like he was busy.

And Niles needed a lot of time. He didn’t care. He looked lol cats from there, tidy up things, came at the windows to look the car moving around, asking himself how the Human was doing, stretched himself even if he didn’t need it. He came back to the mug and touched it to see if it needed to be warmed.

From the corner of his eyes, and some processing and probability stuff, he could see Niles coming back. In fact, he could see a lot of things. He was Elijah Kamski’s best prototype few years before.

How did he end like that?

When he saw Niles coming at the sofa, and struggling, he moved to him. He stopped in front of him and smiled widely.

“Well, well, well,” he teased. “You fall from the sofa, now?”

He put down the cocoa on the coffee table. It was colder, of course.

Gavin bent and took him in his arms to install him in the sofa, throwing him a cocky smile.

Niles thought it was less humiliating that way. A bit. He still hated himself…

“Here come the cocoa. I didn’t put too much for your tiny cuty belly.”

“Hm…”

“You asked for it,” Gavin said, sitting next to him.

Niles moved from an inch to let him a bit of room.

Gavin looked him and then took the cocoa and handed it to him. The man looked the mug but didn’t reach for him.

“You asked for it.”

“I’m good.”

Gavin knew from almost he beginning it was a trap for him to go in the bathroom without feeling ashamed but he still hoped. He looked the brown liquid then the Human.

“I drink, you drink?” he said.

Niles watched him. He didn’t want to drink, at all. Yesterday, he had made well enough effort for a day. For a week! For the eternity!

God, he hated himself. So much. He glanced to the TV and seeing a cat fall from a window, toward the living room, he felt the need to try to from the window. Toward the street.

Something was wrong with him. Really wrong. He felt something creeping under his skin. A tiny but so cruel voice saying to him he was a terrible person because he couldn’t move anymore after so little…

“Yeah…” he forced himself to say, wanting to kill the little voice.

He straightened a bit and Gavin knelt near him to offer the first sip. He took the second one, thinking how he’ll throw this up without alarming Niles. But now… he’ll enjoy the short moment with him. Watching him sip a bit was nice even though the man looked deeply annoyed to drink…

How could he cheer up the Human? He hadn’t the tiniest clue…

 The cup was emptied in few sips and Gavin got up to clean it and find a solution before the liquid start to attack his circuits.

Ah!

“I’ll take the trash out! I’m coming back.”

“Yeah.”

Soon enough, the Android got out.

Niles was getting drowsy, in the wrong way… the one who numbed his mind but didn’t offer rest, when he heard the door open. He moaned and moved a bit, nestling his head against his arm, still curled up in the sofa too tiny to gather him entirely. He was surprised because he felt like Gavin wasn’t out since longtime but he didn’t have a good estimation of time. No wonder why since his mind wasn’t really in the same dimension as the others.

Or maybe Gavin was already there because he had forgotten something?

Perhaps the problem was the among of trash. He didn’t made his chores since so many time…

“Ah, you had cleaned up. You finally started to move again.”

Mom?

Niles blinked several time. He wanted to look at his mother but just couldn’t. Especially because, soon enough, he’ll fail her. She thought he had changed but everything was Gavin’s work…

He was nothing.

“Since you move, come see me,” she said.

Niles closed his lips. He couldn’t say a thing. He couldn’t say how much he was unable to do it. He couldn’t speak because if he did it, he’ll cry and he couldn’t cry in front of her. He was gathering all his last strength on it. Because his mother haven’t much consideration for him since he was in that state and if he slipped a bit more in the horrendous well he was digging… it will be the end of him.

He couldn’t even look her! If he’d see her eyes…

“Niles?”

He couldn’t. He wanted to hide under the blankets. He was shaking. Please… Please make her go away.

“Is it something?” she said. “If you don’t want to see me, say it. Or is it because you still hadn’t call for having back your job? I saw Fowler. If you’re able to move to clean, take back your job!”

But he couldn’t reply to her.

He was on the edge.

The door opened. And he heard his mom moving around.

“What is that?”

“Well, hello, Ma’am?”

“Who are you?”

“Who are you?” Gavin said. “I didn’t invite you and Niles neither so get the phck out.”

“Excuse me?!” She walked toward him. “He’s my son, I’m always welcome there!”

“Hu… You’re black.”

“And what?”

Niles was even more shaking. No, no, this was bad. He needed to stop this and trying to straightened. Please, make that stop.

“Oh! I get it! You adopted them.”

“No,” she said in a harsh tone.

“So, I don’t get it…”

“Stop…” Niles said under his breath.

The tears were coming. If he started to cry in front of his mother. What to do.

“MOTHER GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

His throat was aching.

The woman looked toward him and he looked away but it was too late…

“It’s not your house,” she said. She walked toward him.

He moved more his head but couldn’t prevent his shoulder to shake, and the tears to roll over his cheeks. Damn.

“I know your brother is paying the rent. You must be ashamed.”

“What?” he said, looking her.

But he couldn’t. His vision was so blurry.

“He paid your rent. You didn’t even notice the money was coming back to your account every month. You’re pathetic.”

“GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOUSE!!”

Gavin took the lady and pushed her out. He closed the door with violence then ran to Niles and passed his hands on his cheeks.

“It’s okay, I’m there.”

Niles looked up to him in his blurry face, his teeth clenched. That Android. That fucking Android. If he wasn’t there, that wouldn’t happen. He pushed him with all his strength.

“GET OUT!”

“What?” Gavin said, surprised.

“Get the fuck out of here! I never want to see you again, you fucking plastic!”

“Wh…at…?”

“Do you think you helped me?!” He was still crying. “You worsen everything! I was better without you! Get back in your fucking tube!”

Gavin got up, his legs shaking. He took his hoodie and tugged it in his face.

“But… I need you,” he muttered.

“Nice. I don’t need you.”

The GV200 wanted to say ‘you said you needed me’ but he was afraid now and he tugged more the hoodie.

“GET OUT!!!”

“Yes, Master… As you wish.”

Gavin turned around and went to the door, closing it after him.

Niles curled up in the sofa and cry even more. What was happening? Why? Why his brain was crumbling? Why he was so lost? He had the feeling he couldn’t breathe anymore. But that was a good thing.

He didn’t want to live anymore.

His mother hated him and saw a weak in him, the worst thing ever for her, and his brother was ruining himself! Now he got why Connor was still living with their mom. And he wasn’t happy at all with their mom. So Connor was hurting himself… because of him? For what? He was unable to do the simplest things. He hated himself.

So much.

He really wanted to die. He was a weight for the person he loved the most. If he died, Connor would feel better.

Okay, maybe he’ll be sad, at first… But he’ll quickly see how much he didn’t need him. He was the best twin. He was the kind heart and even if he wasn’t the most intelligent and the best in gym, he was really good. If he died, Connor would be seen as he was… He needed to disappear!

He fell in the floor and moved his hand on the coffee table, seeking for something. The mug? If he hit it very strongly, he’ll break it and could use the pieces. Then he’ll push it in his throat…

But he couldn’t find the mug.

Maybe he could hit his head very strong, and break it?

His hand bumped in something…

He closed his fingers around and dragged it to him. It was something white and quite squarely. Bringing his hand to his eye, he noticed what it was… The board. With Gavin neat writing.

He thought he was a weight for everybody but the way Gavin said ‘I need you’… The Android told him his story and if he was put in a glass tube, he was certainly unaware of the true life. That was awful for him. The way Gavin said ‘I need you’, his LED becoming red. Gavin wasn’t lying. Gavin actually needed him. And he needed him too… His presence was somewhat soothing. He was awful but wonderful.

Somewhere in this world, someone needed him in a way and… he needed him. Why did he say otherwise?

Why?

He could remember he had already talked like that to Connor in some moment but that wasn’t the same… Because Connor would always come back.

Ah, what a jerk.

But Gavin…

He needed to reach to Gavin.

How?

Niles bit his lower lips and rubbed his eyes.

He got it.

He started to crawl toward the door. He couldn’t stand on his legs. He hadn’t used them for too long. But he was crawling so slowly…

He pushed himself, even if he was puffing and huffing. He needed to reach him before it was too late! His elbows and knees were rubbing the floor. It wasn’t pleasant but whatever…

Niles arrived to the door and then looked the second obstacle. The handle was way too high. Rising the hand, he couldn’t get it. Almost but not completely… He rolled and pressed his back against the wall, puffing. He didn’t really eat, didn’t do a lot of sport… how could he do that? Especially with a really poor sleep.

But he must!

He pushed as much as he could on his legs and was now sad. He rose a bit much and caught the handle, opening the door.

“GAVIN!!” he shouted.

No reply.

Of course… he was certainly outside.

Niles tried to get up, pushing on his legs, on his back and holding the handle. He struggled and was out of breath, his legs shaking. But… oh… God! He was standing. He did a pace to go to the lift and… fell loudly. He couldn’t help but moaned.

Damn!

He bit his lower lips and looked the stairs.

Maybe he could crawl on them…

He looked the rail.

Fuck! He could do it. He crawled toward the rail, his knees and elbows hurting him more but also his belly and his legs and arms. And… his face because he fell a bit on hit.

“GAVIN!” he tried as he was coming near the rail.

He moved forward and turned a bit. He needed to sit in the steps…

To help him, he rolled a bit…

Too much.

He moaned and groaned as his body hit the third step. He tried to catch him up but his hand missed the rail and he ended just in the wider step between two flights of stairs. He was shivering with pain, could see the bruises starting to appear slowly and felt the blood in his mouth.

He was so weak…

He could remember the time he jumped through window to catch criminal, ran so much, landed with a roll and continued to run.

He was pathetic.

His mother was right.

Maybe Gavin was better without him? He said he needed him but it was because he had nobody else. When he will be alone and in the street, he’ll understand… He didn’t need him. He was strong…

But… he had hurt him so much. And if Gavin couldn’t trust someone because he had been so awful with him.

He needed to apologize…

Just that.

He threw his legs in the first step and sat. Rolling his arms around the rail he forced to get up. Now… he needed to come down.

And it wasn’t easy at all. Niles was more often on the floor than walking or moving. Well… rolling and crawling, he finished by ending in the hall but he felt pain everywhere and he couldn’t stop having blood in his mouth.

Damn!

“GAVIN!!!”

He went to the first door and did his best to get up. His legs were shivering and when he succeeded to get up, he opened quickly to prevent from falling to fast. Then, he moved to the second door, holding him at the wall.

He couldn’t believe he did it…

When he opened this door, he heard a bunch of voice asking if he was okay. He fell on the floor.

“GAVIN!!!!”

The voices around him didn’t matter. He even didn’t hear them… they weren’t the ones he sought for… But Gavin wasn’t there.

Of course.

And… he cried.

In front of everyone.

After all, why not? He was nothing, a mess, a trash…

[svtskneecaps]

Exactly, you can just do whatever you want without having to give ANYTHING a second thought. Like you know, many people say it'll get repetitive and boring and what not, but just like Chan and Y/N did in Play It Again, your day is what you make of it, right? If you give it your all, even the most boring day can become amazing, so just imagine how fab it would be to have infinite time at your disposal, and that too, with no commitments. Although I admit, being the only one stuck in a loop can become , so I'd rather have at least one extra person along. But other than that, what wouldn't I give to experience a time loop, istg😭

Sksksksks it's okay fam, I keep getting random ideas for imagines every few days, but they just remain as ideas bc creative writing is so NOT my forte. But perhaps I could send them to you lmao, I know you'll make the best of them🤣

yeah looping on your own would get really lonely after a while, i feel like that's a really slippery slope to losing all empathy bc it'll just be reset so who cares? but i'm not an angster so i don't feel like going down that path. time loops are neat.

bro honestly if you have the ideas slap some words down even if you think they're garbage. like i've been going through my google drive reading fics i started in like 2017 and yknow what. they're garbage. they'll never see the light of day. but damn did i love writing them and honestly even though i cringe, i like reading them. i keep catching myself wishing i'd written a couple more pages while i had the motivation

although if u wanna outsource your labor, as an american i am duty bound to encourage you