#is it bad im glad i dont live in gotham-

[moonlit-imagines]

No One’s Sidekick

Jason Todd x teen!reader

warnings: needles and guns and death mentions ya know

a/n: ok i was gonna do headcanons for this but honestly it sparked a lot of inspiration so im actually writing a oneshot for it this is a ONE IN A MILLION CHANCE bc im very picky about when to write oneshots ily. might do hcs also just cuz arkham knight is my passion. (honestly i should have just done hcs idk if i like where i went with this LMAO)

prompt: anonymous: “hi idk if you write Arkham Jason Todd but if if you do is it possible if you can do a Arkham Jason Todd x fem teen reader and reader is his sidekick”

Imagine a life where you had nothing, you were the lowest anyone could go, and you were just a kid. Now imagine that there was someone standing in front of you, telling that same story, and offering you a chance to turn it all around because they knew how it felt to be you.

That someone was Jason Todd. You found each other by chance, somewhere in the Gotham slums. He walked past you down a dimly lit alley full of used needles and rotting trash, noticing a kid just a few years younger hiding from the world. You noticed a guy in a hoodie hiding a nasty scar on his cheek.

He reached out a hand, hoping you’d take it. He saw a look in your eyes that you’d been like this a while. And you might have noticed the same in his. Which is why after trusting nobody for years, you took this stranger’s hand. “I remember when I was a kid waiting in shitty places woth the hope someday it’d change. And it did one day. Someone found me and changed my life.” He explained after buying you a burger and fries.

“Was it for the better?” You asked him with a mouthful of food.

“I don’t know anymore.” He looked shaken himself, and you could tell by the bags under his eyes this may have been a subject that kept him up at night, maybe took up his waking moments, too. “How long have you been alone?”

“Practically forever. Every once in a while I felt like I was on steady ground and then…something always happens.” You sighed, taking a sip of your soda. “But I learned how to get by on my own. I had to. And I have to protect myself.” Jason raised a brow.

“You protect yourself yet you’re willing to go off with a stranger?” He asked, giving you a warm smile.

“Jason, right?” He nodded at the question. “Jason Todd?” His expression dropped. Before he could stammer out a response, you leaned back on your side of the booth and said, “everyone around here knows you one way or another, but everyone thought you were dead after you disappeared.”

“Did you know who I was when you came here with me?” Jason spoke lowly.

“Nope.” You flatly responded. “But I figured it out along the way. You used to live in my building when I was a kid, I knew I recognized you from somewhere.”

“3B?” He asked.

“That’s the one. You remember?” You smiled.

“I remember a scared little kid with dirt all over their face no matter what time of day.” You both chuckled. “Wow, it’s been a long time. I guess I’m glad we ran into each other.”

“It’s nice. I just don’t know where to go from here.” You took the last few bites from your meal, averting your eyes from his gaze, nervous for what was to come, but also hopeful. At this point, you didn’t care what you did or where you went, as long as you had some kind of purpose. Spending your youth in sleeping in wet boxes or crashing on a sunken-in, stained couch was no longer something you could stand doing.

“I had an idea. A while ago. But I just didn’t know how to go about it.” He revealed with a long pause, mustering up better details to share. “I dont know. It sounds crazy, but maybe not anymore.”

“Can you get to the point?” You tilted your head, eager for a bit more.

“Yeah, yeah…” He gulped. “I talked to this guy, it was after some really bad shit went down,” he brushed his scarred cheek, “this high-profile assassin wanted to train me—work with me. There are some demons I have to face, but I need some help to get ready.” You stared blankly for a minute, fingernail scratching the tabletop as you thought about his words. “It’s out of the country, somewhere in South America.”

“You’re crazy.” You stated. “I’m in.” Jason’s eyes widened. “Anything to get me out of Gotham. And you’re Jason Todd, I’d trust you with my life, even after all this time.” His expression softened and he kind of chuckled, in disbelief of you and himself.

“I—I guess I gotta go make a call.” Jason knocked his hand on the table. “Go ahead and order dessert, I’ll be back in a few.” He stepped out the front door and opened his phone, scrolling down to a contact labeled “S. Wilson.” It rang twice. “I’m in, and one more will be joining us.”

“I’ll make the arrangements for your travels, stay on the line.” Said Slade, there were faint keyboard clicks. “I have a private jet that awaits you at eight a.m. tomorrow. I will send you the address, don’t be late.” The phonecall ended abruptly and Jason went back to your table, finding you eating a slice of pie.

“Tomorrow morning we get to fly in a private jet.” Jason saw your face light up. “Never been?”

—————

Venezuela was incredible to you, even if it was a bit more humid than you were used to. On the plane ride, Jason told you everything. He didn’t spare one detail, he didn’t care. You were another Gotham City orphan with a dark past and a bright future. You two were ready for anything.

It was grueling. It was incredible. It was nothing you’d experienced before. Which was terrifying. But invigorating. You could tell Jason felt right back in his element, but you were desperately trying to catch up. He’d had much training before this, relevant to the current situation. You’re training went as far as standard Gotham Slums scuffling. Your skills included switchblade maneuvers, aiming for the crotch, running from trouble and climbing from trouble. Nothing like this ever seemed possible for you. But Jason knew what it felt like to be brought from your level to his. And as Deathstroke brought Jason to his level, he’d make sure you’d catch up.

—————

“I think you two are ready.” Slade announced as both of you stood before him. Straight backs, eyes forward, and arms behind your backs. “The plan is to be enacted soon, and you,” he turned his attention to Jason, “it’s up to you what we do from here. Gotham City finally meets its match?” He suggested. Jason nodded his head once and you followed. And so it began, the planning phase.

—————

You looked at Gotham from down below. Smaller than you remembered. The whirring of the helicopter blades lulled you away from reality for a few moments before Jason tapped you, motioning for you to come up front with him. You slid your headset on and heard him begin barking orders at the militia before setting your comms to private. “How’s it feel?” Jason asked you.

“I don’t know, actually.” You replied, doing a final check to make sure your guns were loaded and secured. “What about you?”

“It feels like I’m finally getting my revenge.” His voice modulator sent a chill down your spine and you soon landed in Gotham. The plan went off without a hitch. Gotham evacuated, scum running loose, Batman distracted, and his allies scattered. It was exciting, but something was off. Scarecrow’s plan didn’t sit well with you. It was gruesome, even to you. You never really cared about anyone but yourself, but as Jason lost his humanity, you gained it. “I’ve got your back, y/n. You got mine?”

“Always, Knight.” He chuckled as the chopper began to descend. “Let’s kill the Batman.”

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @deanzboyfriend //

[spinosworks]

(tags from @stealingyourbones)

oh im glad it wasn't annoying lol

my wip names are honestly ridiculous bc that's the only way ill remember to write them

stephanie being dannys mom is smth im honestly surprised no one else has thought of yet! it has a ton of potential. i would be writing it but i still haven't read enough to be comfortable writing steph and various other batfam members :(

it would take place maybe 15 years in the future (for the batfam).

stephanie and cass have gotten together (love that them) bruce is retired, alfred is being cared for by the family in his later life, and everyone has settled into their lives getting married or otherwise. everything is as perfect as vigilantes can get it.

that's when stephanie gets a call. the baby she gave up all those years ago wants to meet her. one danny fenton.

in this danny is a born blond but dyes his hair because he wants to (its not that deep its absolutely that deep) i also took the chance to have trans danny and ran with it (context for those who dont know: stephs baby in the comics was a blond girl).

at this point he's been phantom for maybe a half a year, maybe more? not too long at least. he likes to think that hes been handling it alright but all the stress of being the only "meta" hero in amity is getting to him (oh yeah baby we're getting some denial abt the true nature of his powers)

after being shot at by his adoptive parents, he brings up the topic of his adoption to his parents (yes he knows he's adopted, it was a bit hard to hide. that and jazz told him. she read was the only one to actually read the books on they bought) danny reassures them that 'yes, he does love them, he just wants to know'. maybe get to sit down with his birth mother, see what kind of person she is.

after getting the okay and jumping through so many hoops, danny kind of freaks out. he doesn't want to interupt her life, or make her hate him (like his parents hate him oh no what if he's making a mistake)

steph meanwhile is having a similar freak out. she never expected to recieve a call but she did. the information that she agreed to share when she was alone after giving birth and maybe a bit sad (a lot sad) was used. steph doesn't know what to expect when danny (not her baby, never her baby) flies into gotham but she lives up to the bat name by being way too prepared.

too bad nobody can really prepare for the fact that the child that they gave up to have a better life died and came back as an interdimensional being :(

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Admiring the view

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult content +18 only!, smut, fluff , slight angst, window sex, bitches being bitchy,posessive male

A/n:Enjoyed writing this let me know what you think, im trying desperatly to keep bruce in character any way enjoy xxx

You and Bruce plan to meet for lunch at the tower thats if your let into the building.

Admiring The View

Bruce sat tapping a foot impatiently under the desk as the man in front of him drolled on about a 'funny thing that happened at golf last week' that wasn't actually that funny or interesting. But being the perfect business man that he is he still managed to force a laugh looking invested into the story that was meant to butter him up. The man Mr Fells owner of a computer parts manufacturer was tying to get in his good graces so Bruce would loan him an extortionate some money to start another company as his current one sunk into bankruptcy after being sued. The man had effectively stolen a whole generation of employee's pension's counting the money they paid in as profits and had been spent on Mr Fell's new yacht . It was a nice boat, he might buy it off of the man when he becomes bankrupt. He smirked at that. When the time came for his employees to retire they found they couldn't withdraw anything and was in the middle of a court battle. Bruce was not going to give this man a cent not that the greasy old fuck knew that yet. He fished in his pocket checking his phone for what seemed the hundredth time. He smiled when he saw the text he'd been awaiting all day from you.

-Just got off the bus, be there in five xx

"Sorry am I keeping you from something Bruce?" The man asked as Bruce locked his phone leaving it on his desk.

"Well I do have another appointment in about 5 minutes so I'm going to have to ask you to leave it there, I will have a decision for you in the next few days, I will have Mary phone you." He said still standing behind the desk, really he wanted to tell the man that he could go fuck himself, call him a sleaze ball and tell him that he wasn't getting anything.But that was bad business. Bruce followed him to the door shaking hands with him as he entered the elevator. His face dropped once the doors closed and he walked back across the large waiting area.

"Still trying to screw you over then?" His secretary Mary called out to him, a woman in her late thirties that he was glad to have her around she was laid back more friend than employee which made people gossip, trying to make up an 'office romance' despite her being happily married to a lovely woman named Chelsea he smiled.

"Yeah seems more now ,he's desperate find out whats happened would you? And in the next few days phone him up and tell him to fuck off." He replied

"I will ring and inform him that Wayne enterprises has decided to decline an investment into his new venture.... unless I'm allowed to actually tell him to fuck off? if that's the case give me ten minutes I'll go down and do it now face to face" She laughed he rolled his eyes.

"Maybe option one is more appropriate, option two can be the back up."

"Build my hopes and tear me down why don't you and I'm glad that your finally throwing him out, if I have to have to sit here and listen to his misogynistic prattle I will kill him Bruce, and don't think I'm joking either I know were I'd dump the body, I've had fantasies."

"Oh really? didn't think he was your type" he said teasingly

"You know what I meant"

"There nothing else on today?" He said chuckling a little approaching her behind the desk peaking at her screen she gave him a look over her thick 'boho' glasses then sighed

"No not that I can see" he nodded patting her shoulder

"Tell you what pack up and have the rest of the day to yourself . Think of it as an apology for having to put up with Mr Fells in here today" she smiled slyly leaning back.

"Really? You sure its got nothing to do with your visitor?" She asked teasingly he turned back and leaned over her screen knowing that notes from the main front desk came up to her directly.

"What is y/n here already?" Then stopped as she laughed out loud.

" caught you so you are waiting for someone? But you never bring them here so she must be something special. Tell me has someone managed to tame the king of Gotham himself? The great Bruce Wayne?" He pulled back crossing his arms trying to look stern before cracking a grin as she continued to smile at him cheekily.

"You could say that. Stay and meet her with any luck you'll be seeing more of her."

"You know what I think I will."

"shes taking a while tho better phone her, in case shes got herself lost."

Meanwhile

You pressed the bell for the bus to stop walking off as it pulled up to the bus stop texting Bruce that you were nearly there. You looked up at the tall building peaking between the others as it towered over the city. Today you finished early and Bruce had invited you to lunch, telling you that Alfred would pick you up. You declined stating that you paid for a yearly bus ticket and you'd bloody well get your moneys worth. You were excited you'd never been to this part of the city before and was looking forward to being shown 'the tower' as Bruce called it. Well more so looking forward to seeing the view of Gotham from soo high up. You smiled quickly crossing the road and followed the crowds of people down to the huge building.

Hesitating feeling almost under dressedas everyone walked around in there expensive suits you glanced down at your black leggings and button up slightly over sized blouse with small foxes on it and scuffed flats. You walked in to the huge lobby not entirely sure where to go, feeling a few of the people stealing glances at you security included eyeing you carefully as you looked around then decided to pull out your phone to text Bruce looking down concentrating you jumped when you were approached by security.

"Miss can I help you? Are you lost?" You smiled up at him

"Oh no, well I suppose I am, I'm just not sure where to go. Not been here before" you ended with a chuckle he nodded eyeing you up and down suspiciously

"If you go over there you can check in and find out where you need to be." He said pointing to a long black polished welcome desk with immaculate women sitting behind it. You smiled thanking him making your way over to them, you felt them watch you as you took uneasy steps to the desk. The two large security guards hovered close to you wandering around instead of returning to the main doors where they had been originally. A pretty brunette faced you faltering then smiled.

"Hello can I take your name?"

"Err y/n Cooke?" She smiled typing into the system then frowned obviously not finding you she typed away for a few moments clicking here and there then sighed eyeing you up and down.

"Ok.. if you could just take a seat over there." Pointing to a row of leather sofas in front of them. You watched as she whispered to a colleague and walked through a small hidden door leading out into the lobby she stood in front of you.

"Can I ask what you came here for today? Your not on the system." You nodded

"Bruce invited me this morning , he is finishing early and wanted to show me around." You said naively waving your phone at her she nodded sighing.

"I suppose this 'Bruce' happens to be Mr Wayne? I'm going to have to ask you to leave the grounds." You frowned as her not following.

"What? He really did ask me to come over. We're going out tonight you can ask him if you dont believe me" You said she looked at you pitifully before scoffing her face turned mean nodding to the two guards.

"Honestly you fan girls never cease to amaze me. Each one as delusional as the last, tho you more so, you really expect me to believe that someone like you is going out with Mr Wayne, sorry but I don't see him as a man who scrapes the bottom of the barrel."you gasped as her words cut into you she smirked.

" Your wasting my time,some of us in the real world actually have work to do. Get a grip what ever fantasy your living in isn't real, any relationship you think you might have doesn't exists. You think your the first woman to come in and try to Pass yourself of as a client to get into his office? No there have been many. Now I think you should leave before I call security and cause a scene. And from one woman to another get some help. This isn't healthy." She spat the words out through clenched teeth stepping back and made her way to wards the desk shaking her head as the other women giggled. You sat there for a moment trying desperately not to cry from the verbal beat down she gave you. Unsure why it had upset you so much it could be that you weret prepared for it or maybe that there was a crowd of people to see it. Sniffling back tears finally collecting yourself you rose just as you go to walk out your phone rang a photo of you and Bruce on the screen. You sighed sniffing back tears trying to sound normal held the phone to your ear

"Hi Bruce." You whispered leaning down grabbing your bag and slowly making your way to the door when the two guards began to make their way towards you.

"Hey where are you? You didn't get lost did you I knew I should have sent Alfred."

"No I didn't get lost I..well. something came up." You sniffed feeling the judgmental stares and laughs as you walked out with your head down. Trying to hold back your tears had made your voice higher. You heard him growl down the phone.

"What? What happe- are you crying?" You shook your head sniffing

"N-no dont be silly why would you think that?" you said taking a deep shuddering breath trying not to cry.

"Stop.. where are you whats happened? , y/n I can still hear you moving I said stop." He sounded stern almost angry you hadn't meant to but you did stop moving wiping at your face.

"I can't the guards are following me out, I'm being escorted out"

"What? Why?"

"No its fine... I will see you at the manor tonight"

"No you will not. You will tell me now what happened..... come one sweets what happened talk to me"For some reason that seemed to break the flood gates as tears began rolling down the sides of your face again whimpering.

"Apparently Bruce Wayne doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel." You said bitterly into the phone wiping at your eyes sniffing as more tears fell you were so embarrassed you could hear the receptionist still laughing with her colleagues. Bruce was silent you took it as a sign to continue.

"She was just rude, said some nasty things ,she didnt believe that I was here to see you, then called security...its fine. I will just go"

"What did she say? And dont you lie to me" he growled you almost hear him his jaw clench.

"Bruce-"

"Tell me!" He was angry and sounded almost worried.

" That I'm delusional...that we dont have a relationship, you couldnt possibly be with someone like me as that means youd be scraping the bottom of the barrel." You waited for a reply he growled then bellowed down the receiver.

"Who the fuck does she think!- Hold on are you still down stairs? Hang on" He moved the phone away but you still heard him speaking you cringed he sounded angry. Very angry you picked up his shoes tapping quickly across the floor.

"Mary, has a security call been made in the lobby? It has? Cancel it.. now yes. And find out who the fuck is on lobby" You heard the faint sound of elevator doors closing but paid no mind as you looked at the two men came up behind you trying to usher you out.

"I'm on my way now you stay exactly where you are. I mean it don't you dare leave this building, if you let them scared you away there will be hell to pay" he ground out then hung up.You sighed looking into your phone taking a moment to brace yourself before dropping it in your bag zipping it up and slinging it over your shoulder wiping at your eyes. The guard spoke up as you didn't move opting to turn around looking for at the elevators finding them easily as one counted down through the floors from the top. It must have been Bruce. You counted with it for a few breaths if it was him he was already half way down the building.

"Miss your going to have to leave." You snapped your head away and shook your head at them.

"You don't understand-"

"No you don't understand you've been asked to leave"

"And I've also just been ordered to stay put by Bruce" you replied more confident now that you knew Bruce was coming down to get you. Getting a glare he took a threatening step towards you.

"If you don't remove yourself then I'm going to be forced to remove you and press charges of trespassing which will go on your record and you will be banned from all Wayne enterprises owned establishments."

"Well you can try, but I doubt he will let that happen this has been a huge misunderstanding." He sighed at you

"Please don't make me drag you out" you saw the elevator doors open revealing your very pissed off looking boyfriend. You flinched he looked almost scary standing taller, he carried himself... different he looked determined then he locked eyes with you and you froze, that intense gaze made you quiver.

"Well don't say I didn't try to warn you" he frowned at that not noticing the way people parted letting the big boss storm across the lobby uninterrupted. Glancing at him as they all but jumped out of his way not wanting to have that anger directed at them , watching to see what poor soul was gojng to be on the receiving end. Bruce's quick steps and angry aura was quickly drawing the attention of the whole lobby as the small crowd watched Bruce quickly cut across the space. Holy shit he looked incredible.The security guard grabbed your forearm ready to drag you out as Bruce stopped behind him.

"What is going on here?" The man gasped turning around as he heard the sharp edge to Bruce's words. Bruce looked at the hand on your arm and practically snarled posessively

"Is he bothering you love?." The guard stood back dropping your arm as if it had scalded him looking between the two of you as Bruce held out a hand catching your wrist gently.

"Mr Wayne you know this women?" He asked panicked Bruce pulled you to him by your arm looking to see if the guard had left any marks rubbing it gently. He glanced at the shorter man with stern eyes pulling you off to the side putting you behind him a little.

"Well I'd hope so considering she's my girlfriend." You gaped at him not expecting him to be so blunt or loud he was loud enough for those around you to hear. The onlookers did a shitty job of covering there shock as they continued to eavesdrop. You snapped out of it placing a hand on his chest trying to calm him down as he squared up against the man who dared touch you. You felt sorry to the guard he didnt do anything wrong in your eyes.

"Bruce he was just doing his job." he huffed casting a look down at you contemplating.

"Your right love. Could you tell me who told you to escort her out of the building?" he raised a hand in the direction of the welcome desk. You heard the poor man sigh in relief as Bruce cast his icy gaze at the desk pulling you behind him you staggered before he grabbed your waist possessively pulling you beside him tucking you into his body protectivly tracing small circles with his fingers in an attempt to calm you.

"Bruce, just leave it please can we go upstairs" you pleaded quietly to him he frowned

"we will but not yet, who upset you?" he asked waving a hand across the desk motioning to the women.

"Bruce please it wasn't that bad lets go"

"No I'm not leaving until I have a word with her, now you can stall all you want sweets but I'm going to find out who it was. No one treats you like that especially in MY company now are you going to be a good girl and tell me?" you couldn't help the way your pussy fluttered at his words, you'd never seen him this protective before a part of you relished in it wanted more even, this was Bruce the boss. Determined and dominant. He looked devastatingly sexy wound tight standing taller and broader, not bothering to pay any mind to the others whispering around him, you felt safe knowing you were here in the arms of the biggest alpha male in the room. Probably the whole tower. He sighed looking at you from the top of his eyes.

"You wont tell me fine then, I'm a good detective I'm sure I can work it out" he stated simply pulling you the few feet up to the desk all of the women squirmed uneasy under his heavy gaze as he looked across them. The one who had upset you shrunk looking more frightened then the others, she shuddered when Bruce locked onto her.

"Considering how panicked you look I'm assuming you are the one who dealt with Miss Cooke?" he said evenly she looked up slowly nodding. Eyes wide gulping. you couldn't help it as your pussy throbbed and you nipples pebbled as bruces stern voice seemed to dominate the huge lobby ,the once nasty smug woman was now cowering slightly.

"I'd like to know what happened" he ordered in a deep voice your breathing bacame shallow at the sound, she started stuttering a reply.

"W-well Mr Wayne.. I-I took her name and c-couldn't find her on the system, I checked all departments and bookings and she wasn't on there so asked her to wait in the lobby... i-it could have been an error." he nodded understanding that even with the top of the range computers he had there was still room for error mostly human error but it did happen ,he motioned for her to go on.

"Then when I came out to ask here where she was headed.... I'm sorry Mr Wayne I didn't believe her.. she said that she was coming to see you I thought she was another girl trying to sneak past the desk I'm so sorry." she quivered. So did you but not necessarily for the same reason flushing a little not just at the attention you had directed your way but also because of the heat that was building between your legs. It didn't help having his warm hand pressing on the side of your waist low enough that it cupped the swell of your hip the heal of his hand covering the top of your ass. you shifted from one foot to the other trying to relieve some of the ache as your movement rubbed your swollen clit between your lips.oh fuck.

"Tell me what are you supposed to do when someone comes in asking for me personally? I'm sure that it was covered in your training" he asked with a heavy tone. You whined in your throat hearing the thick stern voice carry throught the lobby, which had become very quiet. He massaged his fingers into your side letting you mnow he had heard you flushed brighter. She cleared her throat.

"Er-erm we are supposed to message Mary on your floor." she answered wishing the floor could swallow her up.

"Yes but instead you decided to make derogatory remarks to her and embarrass her before having her thrown out. Why is that?" he said making her gulp as she stood pin straight shaking a little fully prepaird to be sacked on the spot he didn't give the woman a chance to reply.

"Tell me what was the comment about me scraping the bottom of the barrel? Or how about you tell me why i couldnt possibly be with a beautiful woman such as her? Or you could explain to me when it became apropriate for you to call my geusts delusional? do you think that is the type of professionalism people expect to find here? that this is the type of people I want representing my company on any level least of all the front line? " he snapped out at her you grasped his blazer.

"Bruce enough,, its done ok? its done please?" he looked from your pleading face to the thoroughly embarrassed woman who looked like she was about to cry. He lifted a hand pulling a tissue from the box on the desk offering it to her, she reached out slowly accepting it. He took a deep breath, part of him wanted to continue. This woman had made you cry, made you feel less than yourself after he'd spent the last few months building up your confidence. But worst of all she made you want to run from him. You had only just stopped questioning your relationship. And this woman had nearly destroyed your new found confidence for no other reason then to make herself look and feel important.

"Go home, take today off tomorrow you will resit the training for this position including the probation period and hopefully you can continue here with a fresh attitude following all protocols, I am not running a school playground I am running a company and this childish bullying has no place here if you dont sort it out your out do I make myself clear." he scolded she used the tissue wiping her eyes nodding

"Yes Mr Wayne" thanking him yet absolutely mortified that she'd been dressed down to such a degree in front of everyone. Bruce satisfied turned walking to the elevators pulling you in along side him, you couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the woman as you took a fleeting glance at her as the doors began to close on the scene catching the gasps as bruce tucked his face into your hair kissing you just befor they shut completely.

"Are you ok now?" he asked stepping closer rubbing your shoulders kissing the back of your neck. you shuddered moaning softly try to contain it you knew you'd failed as he smirked nipping you lightly.

Ooh I think you are? is someone a little worked up?" he wound his arms around your waist tugging you back flush against him slipping a hand between your legs. You moaned rocking into him.

"I've never seen you like that... well only on our second date but you weren't as ... intense you were so sexy.... I think I've got a new fantasy" you summarised he hummed cradling you hiding his face in your neck taking a slow breath before pulling back releasing your mound much to your despair.

"I will see to you in a moment, but I would like to introduce someone to you." he winked making you blush. The doors opened revealing a large modern hall that opened to a medium sized stylish waiting area secretary desk to the left of a heavy looking door with frosted glass paneling the same frosted glass on one side of the door behind the desk A tall woman sat at. she stood up laughing.

"I've got to say Wayne that just made up for my day sitting with Mr Fells."

"You watche dthrough security then?" He asked directing you towarss her she nodded

"The secretaries name is Kirsty Knell, she has a track record of being rude acordjng to the complaints at HR, two major incidents gaining two strikes technically she should be let go as this is her thrid but you've already said for retraining she wont last this probation,she doesn't play well with women it seems. But Ive already sent for her to retrain for the remainder of the week" she said as you both came to a stop befor the desk she come out from behinde the desk holding out a hand

"Hello I'm mary Collins Bruce's secartary" you smiled shaking her hand

"Y/n Cooke ,Bruces..girlfriend nice to meet you" she smiled giving Bruce a playful wink

"Well can I just say he is a lucky man."

"Oh er haha thank you?" you stuttered blushing unsure what to make of the energetic woman.

"Tomorrow phone up Clark for an interview about Y/n I don't care when, book it for at the manor." she nodded at him more interested in watching you.

"Will do.....oh Bruce she's adorable.... Anyway theres a new pass on the desk for her to keep... and thats about it I'm off gonna go surprise the missus at work. See you on Thursday. Make good choices." she left through the still waiting elevator. you stared after her as the doors closed. Bruce laughed picking up the pass and small card that had the companies logo on it.

"This is for you ,it'll get you in and around the building tho after today I doubt anyone is going to stop you again." you took it sliding it into your bag

"Why couldn't you have given me this before?" you cried at him he raised an eyebrow.

"Are you whining? it sounds like your whining, and I was going to give it to you today front desk is meant to message Mary when someone asks to see me" you pouted a little following him into his office. You looked around , it was sleek and modern then you gasped as you spotted the huge floor to ceiling window to the back it had a beautiful view of Gotham... and made you realise you were high..... really high you slowly walked around the chairs and desk dropping your bag on one of the chairs.

"I've never been this high up before." he traced your steps standing behind you as you tentatively touched the cool glas feeling as tho you could fall.

"Sounds like a challenge, are you sure feeling better now?" you rolled your eyes at him when he asked

"Yes I'm fine... cant blame them I mean I'm not what you usually go for.. but you did just reduce her to tears... and it was so hot I've never seen you in boss mode before" he groaned in your ear shifting a little turning you around pushing you against the glass. You trembled as the cool of the glass penetrated your thin blouse.

" I love you" you smiled leaning in kissing him gently then pulled away.

"I love you to" you gasped not noticing him move until his hand cupped you through your leggings again, lifting to your tip toes as he curled a finger slipping it between your needy lips running back and forth across your opening then settled on your clit rolling it hard.

"wow I suppose you really did like that display downstairs your almost flooding your panties, tell me how much did it turn you on when I came down there to put people in there place?" you moaned nodding as his fingers swirled finding your entrance again digging deeper pumping in and out in strong shallow thrusts through your leggings and panties.

"A lot OOHH FUCKBruce we cant,...OOHH God .. Bruuuce your not playing fair." you whined as he continued to play with you knowing just how to toe the line before letting you build to fast.

"Ooohh but baby we can." he whispered against your temple then spinning you he maneuvered you around to face the window pressing your breasts and side of your face on it pulling your hips back securing your arms across the back of your waist as one large hand curled around both crossed forearms. He ground himself against you. You let out a cry trying to wiggle away from him. But just ended up fubbjng your breasts on the cool glass making your nippled impossibly hard.

"Bruce oh my god some one will see!" you admonished at him confused as to why the thought of being caught thrilled you sending a hot rush down you spine setteling in your fluttering lower tummy. He leaned over you brushing his erection against you his chest ghosting your back, letting out a breathy chuckle in your ear before dropping his voice down and octave.

"I know exciting isn't it?" you whined out at him in protest as he rubbed himself across you with descisive strokes teasing you in the way only he knew how

"Bruuuce" you tried again he laughed

"Don't worry sweets we are at least 6 stories above everyone else, you think I'd ever let anyone else see you?"

"YES! of course you would." you yelled unable to stop yourself from grinding back on him he really did laugh at that kissing your neck he noticed that his marks had healed. He tutted couldn't have that now could we?. You squeaked at him when a hand crept up to your throat holding you still as he began kissing your neck, sloppy opened mouthed kisses following licks and bites tugging lightly between his teeth, you closed your eyes tight as your body sung under his ministrations.

"OH-OOHH Bruce pleas-PLEASE fuck." you moaned and withered as he used his hips to stop your movements tucking them under you slightly before thrusting up grinding on your engorged clit nearly taking your weight off your feet.

"AAHH SHIT!" you let out a high keen as he rocked his pelvis side to side his cock rubbing across you through clothes you now wished wasn't there. He pulled back spying the purple mark blossoming on your neck he gave a final lick before moving to stand tall behind you pressing on the dip between your shoulders as you tried to follow him.

"Ah ah not so fast I'm not done with you yet, there was so many things I had planned in here for today... but I'm afraid you will have to settle for a quicky instead...after all I have made lunch reservations." he said as he dragged down your leggings and panties one hand bunched up the blouse that hung over your ass hiding your quivering pussy. Securing it in the hand that held your arms steady he licked his lips as he revealed the juicy plump lips that peaked out from between your thighs. You gasped rubbing your thighs together trying to ease some of the tension you could feel his eyes staring at you. He chuckled enjoying the mewls he cause when he started slapping your thighs untill they parted he undid his zipper pulling himself free before letting your pussy kiss the crown of his cock lightly. You rocked back trying to get him to do ... Somthing anything.

"OH baby is this what you want?" he asked teasing you pressing the head just inside of you just so you felt the first sting of him stretching you before pulling out tapping your clit with it. You sobbed nodding

"I thought you said this was a quicky?" you protested trying to follow him back. Growling aggravated when the hand holding your arms stopped you just shy of him.

"Well You've got me there" that was all the warning you got as he thrust forward bottoming out. You cried in shock as he held still arching his hips up into you forcing you to curve your spine and then some, like always he stretched your walls tight causeing a small sting that always make you quiver around him it sent tingles through your whole body and made your skin prickle, he copied his movement from before tilting up trying to support your weight on his cock only it was embedded within you this time. You moaned in slight pain as the angle had him pressed hard against your cervix. You tense fisting your hands trying to bear your weight down on him wanting more of the addictive pleasure and pain mix. He dropped his hips before thrusting back up holding you high again.

"Or maybe this is what you wanted? I'm going to fuck you and everyone will know your mine, you wont be able to walk straight when we leave thats a promise" he grunted in your ear then began pumping into you slowing building his thrusts into a merciless pace. All you could do was enjoy the ride as he railed you ,panting hard fogging the window with every breath crying and moaning as he used you chasing his own pleasure, his groans were louder as he felt your pussy tensing refusing to let got of him, he couldnt pull out even if he wanted to. You bucked against his pistoning hips feeling your climax building looking down at the peole below you felt yourself spasm arojnd him feeling him throb as his veins caught every nerve inside of you ,when the first tremors shook your body you squirmed that familiar burning heat trickled down into your tummy falling lower and lower as your tummy tensed again and again, he must have felt it as he lowered his hand catching your clit rolling it back and forth. One harsh pinch is all it took for you to fall throwing your head back

"BRUUUCE AH FUCK" you cried high and loud as your body was overcome by bone rattling shudders your pussy spasming around him as you came your pussy ,assaging hjm desperatly trying to milk him it worked as he followed instantly arching his hips up holding still one hand landing on the glass beside you the a loud thump that echoed through the office his deep grunts readched your ears desperate needy as he finished inside of you painting your insides marking it as his and his alone. Both panting he took a few seconds catching his breath then he pulled you back a few steps sitting in his high back chair taking you with him on his lap still nestled inside you, you melted into him as the final tremors ebbed away leavjng you sated and relaxed your head lolling back onto his shoulder, he glanced at the clock on the wall and chuckled

"We missed are reservation.."

"Fuck the reservation" you replied breathlessly still panting hard trying to get your breath back he kissed your shoulder through your blouse.

"Well now I can check that off the list." he said cheerfully groaning as he shifted in his chair releasing your arms rubbing them soothingly as he pulled you up his legs eagerly stuffing more of himself inside of you, you whined at the tenderness that aslway came after being with him.

"List?" you asked now having come back down to earth he nuzzled into your neck humming.

"yeah I have a list of places I want to fuck you in."

"And of course your office is one of them" you laughed weakly his chest rumbled on your back as he growled.

"Not exactly... desk was my first preference, it was the first fantasy I had of you actually... the day we met to be exact" you rolled your eyes

"your unbelievable"

"But I have to admit I've always wanted to try window sex,and mirror sex hey and maybe in the board room god knows I need something to think about to get me through those god awful meetings." you sighed at him

"Something tells me if you had your way we'd fuck in every room in this building"

"Dont tempt me that's not a bad idea" you slapped his thigh lightly

"Its a very bad idea..... imagine the chafing" he let out a belly laugh before leaning forward catching your panties and leggings in one and dragging them over your knees removing himself carefully he pulled them back up patting your bottom

"There we go now how about we get out of here?" he said putting himself back into his trousers zipping them back up you stood taking small steps on shaky legs grabbing the desk as you nearly fell he smirked

"Oh shut up" you said seeing the smug man raise his hands

"Didn't say a word" he held you steady handing you your bag going to the elevator hitting the basement level to the company car park. you sighed leaning against him.

"So where are we going then?" you asked he smoothed the hair away from your neck leaving a kiss on it.

"Home? Tim's coffee machine has been installed so I'd like you to test it before he comes home just to see if it works."

"He got the one we have at work didn't he?"

"yep"

"Why doesn't that surprise me? I'll give it a go but I really would like a shower first" he shook his head pushing you out of the doors to the Aston Martin parked in his spot unlocking it.

"That's a thought I'm gonna fuck you in all my cars to. And your not allowed to have a shower yet, theres somthing about the thought of you at the manor dripping with me all day, tha just uugh it gets me going. You can join me in the shower tonight." you blushed at the thought of him watching you all day arpused knowing how messy he had made you, your pussy throbbed almost painfully.

"O-oh I'm staying over then?" he nodded entering the car you followed

"Yes your staying for a while now that we are going public, and it might be an idea to take a week off, I just want you close until the initial buzz is over." you nodded as he started up the car.

"A-are you ok with all that?" he smiled beaming at you

"Of course I love you and I'm not letting you go your stuck with me I'm afraid. I'm looking forward to being able to show you off, knowing Mary she will phone him today so Clark will probably be in touch within the next few days I would have thought the interview will be Friday or even Saturday. So you'll probably be at the manor for the next 2 weeks or so" he pulled the car out of the car park onto the main road you nodded

"I will tell Jack to go and pack some bags and come over."

"No need I will have Alfred pick him up when he goes to pick up Damien and explain it to him..they can stop at yours on the way home... how do you feel about Jacuzzi sex?" you rolled your eyes

"How did you go from Jack packing bags to pool sex?"

"I thought about telling him not to bother bringing your swimming costume. He and Damien have been swimming lately." you laughed leaning back in the seat shifting whimpering as you felt him seeping onto your panties.

"Are you sure I cant shower when we get back, This is uncomfortable." he gave you a side glance you could see his mind working but he said nothing.

"Ok how about this you let me shower and then we can have Jacuzzi sex tomorrow when the boys are at school?" you reasoned

"Share the shower to save water?"you nodded giggling at his compromise.

"Deal" he agreed way to quickly

"H-HEY! was that a set up?!? you are unbelievable Mr Wayne" he smirked gripping your thigh massaging it with his fingers you pouted.

"Unbelievably good getting shower sex and Jacuzzi sex, fuck yes, three days and three things off my list I'm on a roll." he said pulling of the main road. Honestly this man was always running rings around you.

[currentfandomkick]

Bio! Dad Strange Part 9

Jason returns, may be a 2 parter to cover tim getting kidnapped and the aftermath. Will let you know at the end. We are getting to Marinette dealing with Ladybugging soon.

Marinette wasnt sure what to think this year. She met The Barry Allen last year. She also figured out 2 heroes pre-flash revelation and two more after—in her defense Hero Stalker’s old theory on The first Robin did Batman in. it is not her fault 5 founding members have the multiple-persona game of a booger.

She was also Tetch (Mad Hatter. Doesnt deserve the name) and Mr. J’s, Jerimah’s, last victim before they died. Then some idiots revived Jerimah. She hates his cult a lot, okay.

Everyone was on high alert and trying to keep her inside. The thing is, she hates being inside. She’s inside for designing, sure. Research? She’ll live.

But 24/7 inside time?

Never a good combo with her.

Rose’s plants may be snitches, but they seemed to agree on the over coddling. She’s ten, can break phones by tapping them, and is defiantely more off her stickers than on at the moment.

The one on her was uring her into some alleyway. If she was reading the movement pattern right, a gang fight.

Lovely, she usually did these with some sort of supervision but they were all being rude and she needed time outside.

She checked her belt, a few pairs of ball weights tied together with one chain each to make bolas clipped to back. She has a taser in hand, and a few rubber bullet loaded gun on one hip and a stun gun her size in the other. She had a packet of zipties and rope up each sleeve. Easy to giftwrap and humiliate bad people, like Batman does.

She blinked once when she saw—new player? In a bright red full face helmet that looks horrible. And he’s holding that gun make all wrong to max out usage. Ugh, amatuers.

Some part of her groaned about a potential run-in with Batman and his new Robin—she was pissed about Tim not telling her still—and decided this was as good an anger management as any. New vigilante, maybe the sirens would help him find a team.

She snuck up behind a few members, quick to grab the guns and move them out of reach. No need to give anyone playing possum an easy out, right—she saw a mix of her people in with the gang. She needed to teip this guy up before he hurt the RKC street kids and honoraries tangled up in this.

“Hey helmet, if you’re gonna shoot them you’re holding the gun wrong.”

Helmet turned to see her. She didnt grab her usual harley-knock off outfit for helping today. She wanted to be Pixie Pop for a bit. And if the Rogues forgot that she’s Pixie well, better for her, right? Pixie just wore her hair like Tinkerbell and wore a bit of green.

The guy he was aiming at made to run.

Marinette grabbed a makeshift bolas and threw it at his knees. She recognized him from one of the RKC hit lists—human trafficker. He fell with them wrapped around tight and defiantely injured bith his knees with how the weights hit him.

“I, Pixie Pop?” Weird, no one had seen her as Pixie in two years. How’d he know it was her?

“Yeah. Havent been around much lately.” She threw another bola at another guy. “You new?”

“Talk after i kill these guys.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, because really?

She threw a knife to screw his aim into non-lethal on one guy. “Kick their ass first, some RKC are in here.”

Helmet oddly did as she said, switching from guns to—is that. A. Sword?

She twisted to punch the guy sneaking up on her. Helmet threw a sword and landed it in his shoulder.

“Thanks!”

“Holy shot you’re really here this time.”

“Did you get hit with feargas as a baby or something?” Her partner being prone to dellusions and good with weapons was a bad thing.

“Just came back from the dead is all.”

marinette hit the guy going for helmet with her stun gun.

“That’ll do it!”

Helmet turned to one of the guys, gun at the ready. She had a feeling Helmet needed a lot of help, or else one of Rose’s agents would be down.

“If you know about pixies, you should know she got an upgrade to having some trust dust.”

Marinette walked over to the guy, letting her tracker plant take a look. The flower bloomed and he got a face full of ‘filter-less pollen’ that’s as close to a truth serum as Rose could make. After all, people can turn sides.

“Truth pollen?” Helmet was staring at her closely.

“Yep.” Marinette turned to her victim. “Are you helping the traffickers?”

“Does infiltration and killing them count as helping?”

Helmet stared at them then.

“Which team?”

“HKT ma’am. How did you get rose to give you one of those?”

“Think for a minute who she gives these to.”

“Comanding officers of the the RKC reconn and interigation but there’s only 15 and i met them all when i joined in the fall.”

“Im the summer help when theyre not puppy gaurding. Now, i have to do zipties on the traffickers, think you can help?”

“I lost coordination from the pollen.”

“Of course you did.”

Marinette turned to see Helmet staring at her. Like she should be dead, not the new revival guy.

“Good enough.”

“I thought only Poison Ivy could do things like that.”

“I have a badass team, well, when they aren’t going overboard. One week kidnapped and suddenly im made of glass.”

“Pixie you are what, ten?”

“So? Two of my best friends went missing becuase no one stepped up, one of them resurfaced as an idiot a year later but still.”

Helmet stopped then. “Two?”

“Hero stalker went after our big brother vanished.. he came back as an idiot.”

Helmet paused. “Hey, you check the others and i’ll help you drop off the good ones at a doctor or something.”

“Zipties are at the ready. Mind doing your share?”

Helmet did as she asked, working with her until all was squared away.

“Okay, my tracker gave off a signal to the RKC to gather our guys here, and—why are bleeding?”

Helmet looked up at her then. “I am?”

“... you’re coming with me since i dont know if you need a transfusion, but i know a guy who can help.”

“I’m driving.”

“On what?”

“Motorcycle.”

Marinette let him walk her to it, and she got on first. He ‘drove’ them while the plant told her when to turn. They ended up at her dad’s clinic as ‘Mr. Smith’. He was so grounding her.

“Smith, i need help,” she tried.

Her dad came out and paled when he saw her carrying Helmet. Before he passed out he let her take it off. “Red hoodie... oh god he said he was revived.”

Her father worked out the blood bags while she checked the wound, bullet still in there. She got it out with tweezers. No major damage to the muscles and shit. How many scars did he have? Pre or post revival?

When he came to she turned to her father and said one thing.

“So this is my new brother. Dont try to get out of it, he kept me alive when i was comstantly pixie, and you said if he was in a bad place then you’d take him in, no questions asked.”

Strange sighed, nodded, and went back to fixing Helmet up.

The next day he was forced moved into an extra room by hers. Somehow there was already clothes his size and style in it.

“Pixie...”

“Im determined and my honorary aunt is a cat burglar.”

Helmet hugged her.

“So for the documents, what do you want to go by?”

Helmet said he didnt want it to be obvious, given who he was before.

“Its not like you were robin.”

“I was.”

“.... i know two robins now, pre-robining. What is my life?”

“ you are ten, calm down. And you knew dick?”

“Met him as Nightwing, not very friendly. But uh, remember hero stalker?”

“The idiot who followed me and B?”

“Yeah, so funny thing, it was a thing that he wanted to be Robin when you went off from Gotham, and then he somehow managed to convince bats to take him on.”

“That Child is Robin.”

“Will be another hero soon if he knows what’s good for him—he’s too easy to make.”

“Wait, you know who he is-is or—”

“I know 5 secret identities and want to lodge a formal complaint about heroes having no secret identity game.”

“Youre ten. I refuse to let you deal with legal things.”

“But illegal is still on the table?”

“I am a vigilante, of course it is.”

“Good, so can we tlak about how dumb Supes secret id is? I photoshoped glasses on as a joke and looked at my file and knew.”

“Wait have they found you yet?”

“No? I dont think so. Not the mom and step dad or father one yet.”

“But its.”

“I know, but i can keep multiple secret identities. They cant handle one. What is this bull they drop in my lap? No masks for two of them, and the three with cant even manage a basic gait switch?”

“I am so glad you noticed too.”

“Also we need to intervene with Hero Stalker.”

“Does your father know-know or...”

“Knows i know, but knows im not telling even in death.”

“Fair. So, heads up i am going to yell at the JL after killing B for impact.”

“How about beating him up instead and kidnapping Hero Stalker? Bats is fine just needs an adult working with him.”

“Maybe. If my mind wasnt so fucked i’d send the Dick a text or something about this, but i think he hates me so that probably wouldnt work.”

“We have planning time, that’s what my house arrest is good for. Now name.”

“... i want to go by Jay.”

“James work?”

“Sure.”

“James “Jay” Smith then. And we are fixing your vilagante outfit.”

“What’s wrong with it.”

“Your helmet has a nose. And the who this is shit for discreet armour. I’ll get a rant in fifteen on armor history from a fashion obsessed friend and make something for you using that, ok?”

“Do i have a choice?”

“I am your little sister offically. resistance is futile.”

—

So the long awaited return of Red Hoodie/Red Hood/Jason Todd.

For refrence (as age is weird here) Jason looks 14/15 here, but due to dead years is technically 18

Tim is 12

Marinette is 10

Dick is 20something.

Bruce is 30something

Heads up, this will be a two parter for this summer. As i love the next part but need sleep.

@ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @emeraldpuffguide @dast218 @weird-pale-blonde-person @mystery-5-5

[scaryscarecrows]

Roots and Leaves, Pt. 6

DC did it first. Take your grievances to them.

Jason and Sheila e-mail back and forth for about a week before she says that she has Thursday off so if he has Thursday off does he want to meet for lunch again?

Last time wasn’t bad. Not a lot of staring or people or anything. He can…he can probably do it again. And it’s a few days away still, so he has time to psyche himself up or, worst case scenario, fake his death and move to Canada.

And it’s been a week and she hasn’t pulled out the Pity Card on him yet and maybe…maybe this’ll all work out okay. She might never be Mom, because Catherine’s always gonna be Mom, but…but she could be Mother, maybe. He can see that in the distant (or not-so-distant?) future.

But he’s not going to rush into things, that’s what got him here in the first place. Patience, grasshopper.

Thursday rolls around and he hasn’t faked his death and moved to Canada, so he has no choice but to put on jeans and a hoodie and resign himself to a couple of hours, easy, of no sunglasses and no e-book shield.

Sorry, any small children who might come out of this traumatized.

Okay. He brings his Kindle anyway, and his sunglasses for the journey, and sticks to his normal Civilian Weaponry-couple’a knives, one pair of brass knuckles tucked into a hidden pocket in his hoodie. Last thing he needs is for someone to pick up a bullet, match it to the Red Hood’s, and come knocking on his door. His luck is bad enough that’s exactly what would happen.

Besides, it’s noon on a Thursday, and even in Gotham that’s a slow hour. Bank robbers gotta eat, too.

The monorail ride there is literal Hell (three fighting couples, two crying kids and old man with no personal spaaaaace!) and he’s literally gasping for air when he stumbles out of the car. He likes people. Honest. If he legitimately hated them all, he wouldn’t risk his life to help them. But interacting with them…he could do without that, mostly.

Whatever. Whatever. It’s over, he lived, he’s had worse.

(And no, he doesn’t hear faint cackling in his head, and that’s final.)

It’s windy today, the type of wind that buffets people every which way and is determined to keep his hood off his head. He fidgets with the drawstrings until it’ll stay and buries his hands in his pockets. Wind sucks. He can feel pollen and dust and Gotham Grime being blown onto his skin.

“Jason!”

Is he there already?

Sheila…looks a lot more haggard than she did before. He tries to remember if she’d mentioned being horribly busy, doesn’t think she did, and figures that to be fair, he hasn’t mentioned the bruise that goes halfway up his back.

She smiles, her awkward driver’s license smile, and waves. Yeah, she doesn’t…it must’ve been a long week, or maybe a rough drive or something. She looks tired.

“Hi.” He’s not sure what to call her, still. Miss Haywood is too disconnected, Sheila’s too personal, and it’s way, way too soon for Mother. Names are a pain. “I’m not late, am I?” He knows he’s not. “Monorail was packed.”

“So was the subway. Can I…?”

Her arms are half-out and he figures she’s asking for a hug. He can do a hug, as long as it’s a short hug.

“Yeah. Thanks for the warning.”

Holy crap, she feels frail. But to be fair, barring Dick’s tackle-hug, everyone’s felt frail since…since. So it could just be him. Hugs are weird now.

(“HUG YOUR DADDY!”)

No. Not today. Everything’s fine.

It’s a sort-of short hug, short enough, anyway, and he wonders, abstractedly, if a day will ever come that he’s used to that sort of thing again. If it even matters whether he does or doesn’t.

It does. Of course it does. And the day will come, in time, and he’ll be better, be normal, be what people want him to be.

Little steps.

* * *

They’ve fallen into a companionable silence and for once Jason’s not jumping whenever someone walks by in a purple sweater or anything when Sheila forces her lips out from between her teeth and says, “I know you were Robin.”

Well. That’s, uh, there’s that out of the way.

“Yeah.” There’s clearly no point in denying it. She probably put it together when Batman came knocking. “For a little while, yeah. I was.” He tastes blood, wonders how long he’s been doing that, and wishes he had gum. Or a mint. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right off, I just…old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Oh God, no, no, I didn’t mean-” She takes a drink. Her hands are shaking, she’s shaking and he doesn’t know what’s wrong. “I just. I thought I should probably make it clear that I did know, so you wouldn’t…I know I was absent, but I don’t want…you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide things from me.”

Oh. That’s. He doesn’t know what to say. Bruce, God knows, has the emotional capabilities of a Himalayan Salt Lamp. Thankfully Jason hadn’t been the type to go through crushes every two weeks, or he probably would have been in Hell. He certainly wouldn’t have…it’s not like he would have shut down the conversation, but sharing and caring? That would have been awkward and best not repeated. Alfred was the go-to for that sorta thing.

All right, then. Since they’re dropping sudden bombshells ‘n all…he has to know.

“You worked for Joker.” There. It’s out. He said it.

And now he kinda regrets it-the self-loathing on her face is a pretty good match for his own, and he can’t tell himself it’s anything less than deep, deep wishing to have made better choices.

“I did.” She straightens up, begins tearing apart a piece of bread on her plate. “Briefly. I’m not proud, but he had a line to my mother, knew where she lived, knew her schedule…knew.” She swallows hard. “Knew she had to rubber-band her jam jars because she couldn’t open them otherwise. I panicked. But it was only for a couple of months-pills, he wanted pills, as much as I could get him. And then he just…went away. I don’t know what he did with them.”

Honestly, after everything, he can’t…he doesn’t have the right to say much. And honestly? There was that one guy, who accidentally cut the fucker off in traffic and couldn’t get away from him.

And look at him. The first man he killed, that wasn’t…oh, sure, he probably had it coming, at least a little, but Jason wasn’t thinking about that or considering it like he does now, he just…he wanted to kill Bruce. Because that was right and reason at the time even though he knows it’s insanity now.

No, he can’t say much.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, and it’s suddenly easier to look at his hands. “I didn’t…that sounds awful.”

“No.” She tips his chin up and it’s an effort not to pull away and to remember that it’s fingers, warm human fingers, and not the pointy end of a crowbar against his skin. “You deserved to know. It’s only fair.”

Truth be told, it’s a relief to know that she hadn’t…yeah, technically she could’ve…maybe done something different, but she hadn’t wanted to work for him. She wasn’t like the ones he’d christened Dumb and Dumber that…they enjoyed that kinda work.

Lunch is finished in relative silence after that, though, and he’s wondering what’s going to happen now when she rifles through her purse and swears.

“Damn…I meant to grab an old photo album I wanted to show you, with some old family pictures and things.”

Pictures of Willis? Yeah, he’s good. Pictures of other people might be interesting, though.

“Next time?”

“My apartment’s a few blocks over.”

Something feels off. He’s paranoid, he knows he’s paranoid, but something…she’s been shaky and weird all afternoon and he doesn’t…

Calm the fuck down, you freak out when someone window-shops for too long!

“Is everything…is everything okay?”

Or maybe something is wrong-she pulls a napkin over and there’s suddenly a pen in her hand.

“I really do want you to see these pictures, Jason,” she says, but her hand is moving and there’s the ever-so-faint skrit-skrit of pen on paper. “I swear you got my mother’s eyes.”

The napkin slides over to him and he glances down. Her handwriting’s spikey and awful-doctor writing to the bone-but his is no better and he can read it well enough.

An old colleague has been hanging around the hospital lately.

Oh.

That explains a bit.

“Sure.”

Her shoulders drop and she crumples the napkin, nails picking it into shreds.

“I’m sorry to do this to you,” she says softly, nearly too soft for him to hear, and he’s quick to shake his head.

“No, no, I don’t mind, I’m glad you…if there’s anything I can do to…”

Shit, she looks like she’s going to start crying and that is indeed PANIC in his throat. Tears are not good.

“You’re a good boy.” Her voice is watery but there are no tears to be seen. Thank Jesus. “I promise next time we have lunch it’ll be normal.”

Oh, good, things haven’t plummeted down to fiery Hell because of all the revelations flying around.

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” he says, and whoops that’s his ‘all will be well, citizen, never fear!’ voice. But it must work, because the about-to-cry look disappears. “Um. Do you wanna…it looks like it’s gonna rain, should we get going?”

And so they do.

* * *

The wind has picked up and it smells like rain. He’s not looking forward to patrol later.

The wind’s not so bad, though, to stop Sheila from lighting up with a self-depreciating, “I know I’m a doctor and should know better, but I honestly don’t care.”

“I can’t really say anything.” He holds up his own pack and rattles it before pulling one out. It’s not as calming as it usually is and he doesn’t know why.

Eh. It’s been a long day, that’s all. He’s not used to interacting with people on a personal level anymore, which is his own fault and probably not necessarily a good thing.

The first few drops have started to fall when they arrive at her building-big, square, and simplistic. She fishes out her keys while they’re in the elevator (which smells like new car, for some reason).

The hallway is deserted. It’s a little creepy, to be honest-his own building might be crap, but there’s always activity. And then, of course, there was Arkham’s hallways, or what he could hear of them. Noisy. Always noisy. But this? Wayne Manor was silent like this. It unsettled him then and it unsettles him now. Call him a city boy, whatever, but he needs noise.

The brass knuckles and knives in his jacket are warm and comforting and he knows he’s not gonna need ‘em, but they make up for this creepy-ass silence.

Sheila opens the door and motions him inside. It’s dark inside-blackout curtains, probably-but he can hear the rain. It smells like new car in here, too, and he wonders, off-handedly, why-

-it’s not empty. He’s walked into one too many ‘empty’ buildings to be very, very attuned to the sound of somebody breathing. Okay. Be calm, back out and shut the door.

He’s about to do exactly that when the light switch clicks and bathes the whole place in stark white. White walls, white floors, white furniture.

Which only makes Harley Quinn stick out like a sore thumb in all that red and black.

“BAY-BEE!” She could never hope to match Joker’s grin, but she gives it a good go, stretching her makeup. Okay. Change of plans. Get Sheila out of here (and preferably out of the building), deal with Quinn. “It’s been a whiiiiile!”

He takes in the mallet leaning against the couch and the shotgun (are those fuzzy dice? Really?) in her hands and comes to the conclusion that great, she’s riding the crazy train.

But maybe she hasn’t seen Sheila yet. Where’s that goddamn light switch?

He moves, only a little, only to feel the unmistakable press of a gun against his lower back.

“Don’t. Move.”

And the world drops out from under him.

No. No, no, no, she said she quit, it was over, she said they’d let her go, she said-

The door shuts. He twists so he can still see Quinn in his peripheral. Sheila’s face is a blank mask-no tears, no joy, no nothing. Just quiet determination and he doesn’t understand, she said…

“Mom?” The word feels thick and wrong in his mouth, but maybe…maybe she’s brainwashed or hypnotized or something, maybe she doesn’t…isn’t…

“Sorry, kid.” The words are harsh but her tone isn’t. Quinn giggles in the background but she sounds so far away and Sheila’s still pressing a gun against him. “It was you or me, and, well…it had to be you.”

What?

“Aww, come to mama, baby!” Quinn giggles again before straightening up and scowling. “Now.”

His feet drag him forward, sneakers scuffing against the white carpet an’ Heaven’s s’posed ta be white, innit, so why does this feel like Hell and what’s going on she said she said-

For once horrible, desperate second, he wants Bruce. Bruce wouldn’t…yeah, he’d thought, at first, that he’d left him but he knows that he didn’t, he really didn’t, he just…

Bruce wouldn’t have pulled a gun on him, he wouldn’t and God, if he’d just fucking talked to him-

“I did what you wanted, Quinn.” Sheila’s voice is so, so flat and is this all she wanted from the beginning? Is it? “Now call your man.”

Quinn doesn’t even look at her. She’s looking at Jason like she always did-like she’s torn between wanting to rip his head off and wanting to wrap him in a blanket and keep him.

This is his own goddamn fault, he just thought…just once, just once-

“Quinn!” Desperation now, and the gun wobbles against his hoodie as she steps out from behind him. “I did what you said! Call your man!”

Okay. Okay.

He forces himself to take a few deep breaths that taste like that last cigarette outside and says, voice as steady as he can make it, “Let her go, Harley. Leave her alone, I’ll. I’ll do what you want, just. Just let her go.”

“Aww, look at you!” Her pigtails sway and he finds himself oddly hypnotized by the movement. “I knew ya had to be Robin for a reason.”

Yeah. Yeah, he was Robin and that’s all he’ll ever be, the one that fucked up.

“Please, Harley.”

“Nyeh…” She adjusts her grip on the gun, finger dancing near the trigger, and looks down at her knuckles. “Eeny, meanie, miny, moe, catch a Batman by the toe. If he hollers, let ‘im go, eeny…meanie…miny…moe!”

He sees it before she does it, but there’s no time-he’s moved maybe half a centimeter before the gun goes off-

-and Sheila.

Falls.

His ears are ringing. They’re ringing and everything’s so white except her, all blonde and blue and so fucking red because Harley didn’t miss and if he’d been quicker, he should have been-

“Aww, don’t be sad!” Harley’s not alone, of course she’s not. He should have known from the start stupidstupidstupid. “Doncha know what happens to people who know too much?”

Her eyes are open. They’re open and they’re looking at him like this is his fault and it is if he hadn’t…

S’like Joker said, once.

“Good boys know how to lay down and DIE.”

“Mistah J had a spot for ya, baby.” Huh? “But you up an’ left us before it was time! So since it’s his birthday-” The fucker has no birthday he just appeared one day too evil for Hell. “-I thought I’d get my puddin’ somethin’-” She winks. “Real nice.”

And they’re on him.

Harley’s goons are dumb, but they’re also big and they manage to drag him down for a minute before he gets a knife out of his sleeve and drives it into the nearest jaw.

“Andre!” Yeah, Andre ain’t comin’ back from that any time soon. “I thought we taught you manners!”

He reclaims his knife and scrambles back up and okay okay maybe he can get outta this-

WHAM!

Lights out.

[jokerfanfiction]

Innocent Part 2:(Finished) Joker x reader Warning:Smut & cursing ———————————————————— -intro- Y/N's fall break is over and she returned back to New York and honestly, she was glad to be back. She had roughly three more months until she graduated college and had to move to California for her new job as an occupational therapist. Parker asked a lot about the man she was with.. obviously Y/N didn't tell her it was the one and only Joker. Y/N didn't even reply to the text message she got from him.. since she didn't reply to that text message she got: Unknown number:" Why aren't you answering me, baby doll?" -J Unknown number:"Am I gonna have to punish you Y/N?" -J Unknown number:"Just wait till daddy sees you next princess." -J Luckily, when Joker sent the last message Y/N was already out of Gotham and almost home. ———————————————————— (Four years have past since that last text message) -Y/N was currently running around her apartment looking for her car keys, when her phone goes off- Y/N:"Fucking hell, I don't have time for this.." (nickname) mumbles -Y/N picks up her phone without looking at whose calling- Parker:"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N!!! WHY IN THE HELL HAVENT YOU BEEN ANSWERING YOUR TEXT MESSAGES? I HAVE IMPORTANT SHIT TO TELL YOU!" Y/N:"Hi Parker, how's your day been? Good? That's great, how's my day been so far? Complete shit.." Parker:"Get salty with me one more damn time and I'm flying to Cali and kicking your ass. So why in the hell didn't you answer your messages? I thought you were kid napped and sold to the black market!" Y/N:"Always so dramatic.." y/n mumbles " I lost my car- fuck nevermind I found it.." Parker:"Where were your car keys now (nickname)?" Y/N:"My back pocket.." -Parker is dying of laughter over the phone- Y/N:"Yeah yeah yeah, what's so important?" Parker:"IM GETTING MARRIED!" -If Y/N had been drinking water she'd choke on it, so instead she choked on air- Y/N:"Uhh.. who are you getting married to?" Parker:"Now (nickname), don't freak out.." 'Oh good lord..' Parker".. it's the Joker. I SWEAR HES NOT WHAT EVERYONE THINKS!" -Y/N drops her phone- Y/N:"Awe fuck!" Y/N mumbles Parker:"Hello? Y/N?" Y/N:"Sorry, I dropped my phone.. did you say the Joker? In the prince of crime.. the person who kills for fun.. is abusive.. i don't know crazy? I thought he was dating that Harley chick?" Parker:"Listen, I told you he isn't like that with me! He treats me like a princess (nickname)! And I'd really appreciate if you both meet, you're both the most important people in my life!" 'Well I already fucking met him..not in the mood to do it again.' Y/N signs:" Park, I'm really busy at my job-" Parker:"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, you ARE coming to my wedding and you ARE meeting my fiancé!" 'What the hell is with the whole name calling shit?' Y/N:"When's the fucking wedding, Parker?" Parker:"Don't get mad at me Y/N! I should be the one who is-" Y/N:"PARKER JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION! I HAVE FUCKING THINGS TO DO.. LIKE I DONT KNOW WORK!?" Parker:"Is the monthly thing in town,Y/N?" -Y/N says profanities under her breath- Parker:"Okay okay, jeez. It's in a week..before you get even more pissed off on why I didn't tell you like a month again, it's because J didn't want to tell anyone-" -Y/N ends the call- ———————————————————— -Time skip to the day of the wedding- -3rd person- -Y/N arrives late and walks into the church with a black and gold dress, sitting in the back of the church- Joker instantly notices Y/N and purrs when he sees her -Y/N looks around trying to find people she knows and finds Alexander; she notices that there is a spot open by him and sits by him- Y/N:"This seat taken?" Y/N whispers, smiling at Alex Alex:"It is now. How've you been (nickname)?" Alex says throwing an arm around her Y/N:"I've been okay how about y-" -Y/N was interrupted by the wedding music- Joker growls when Y/N hasn't look at him once and is breathing heavy when he sees the boy next to her has his arm around her waist -Time skip to the 'I do's- Frost:"Do you Joker take Parker Y/L/N as your wife as you both shall live?" -Joker looks at Y/N and sees she's giggle of what the boy said; then all hell breaks loose- ———————————————————— Joker:"Princess." J growls Parker:"Ye-" Joker:"Not you!" J yells and looks at Y/N -Y/N lifts an eyebrow- Joker:"Remember what I'd told ya four years ago, baby doll?" Y/N:"No, not exactly. I mean it was four years ago!" Y/N sasses Parker:"Y/N.. what's J talking about?" Joker:"Ohh Parker Parker Parker, you thought I actually loved you?" J laughs "Four years ago when you brought your sister to my club I was almost about to fuck her, that is until you ruined it." J growls "So, I used you to get my girl back. Plus.." J purrs "I still owe her a dress" By the time Joker finished his little rant Y/N had smoke coming out of her ears.. shits about to go down (A/N: Kevin Hart anyone?😅) Parker:"So he's the one you hooked up with at the club! Why the hell didn't you tell me Y/N!" Park yells Y/N:"Ohh i don't know, maybe because he's a criminal and a psychopath!" (Nickname) says while pointing at J -J pouts- 'Shit, he looks hot when he p- WOAHHH. Not the time to get all horny Y/N.. not the time' -Y/N gets up and leaves the church, mumbling how she knew it would be a bad idea coming here- Joker growls and follows Y/N Parker:"JOKER, IF YOU FOLLOW HER WE'RE DONE!" Joker:"You're lucky i didn't kill you yet. We never a thing, Parker." J growls and catches up to Y/N ———————————————————— Joker:"Where do you think you're going Princess?" J growls -J grabs Y/N's arm and turns her to face him- -Y/N slaps the shit out of Joker and continues to walk away- -Joker grabs Y/N by her hair and drags her to the side of a building, throwing her against the building and grabs her neck, putting pressure on it- Y/N yelps and says:"Can you go fuck off?" Joker:"You're not being very nice to daddy, princess. I think I need to punish ya to remember who you belong too." J growls in Y/N's ear while bitting her earlobe Y/N:"I don't fucking remember belonging to you!" Joker:"Ohh but you do, that night in my club you were mine when I first saw you." J growls "mine and only mine." -J lifts Y/N up by her thighs forcing her to wrap them around J's waist. J trails his fingers up to her core, growling when he finds she's not wearing underwear- Joker:"You've been a very bad girl, Y/N." Y/N whimpers as J fingers her pussy with two fingers the grunts at the loss of them Joker:"Beg baby." J purrs Y/N:"Please J!" (Nickname) moans -J purrs and fingers Y/N with three fingers- -Y/N moans and throws her head back with pleasure and pain, weaving her fingers threw J's green hair and pulling on it slightly- J feels Y/N tighten around his fingers and growls; fastening them. Joker:"Cum for me baby." J purrs and bites her shoulder blade -Y/N screams J's name- -J removes his fingers from Y/N's pussy and puts them in his mouth, while they both make eye contact- Joker:"You taste so good baby." J growls and puts his forehead against hers Y/N giggles and says:"I think you owe me two dresses now." Joker:" Anything for you baby." J says huskily and does his infamous laugh ————————————————————

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.