#is it obvious I still don't know how to do bgs

[ironraven]

deep reef, abandoned wip

[blueberryarchive]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 18+

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 3.2k words

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ still working on it. smut (non-con, mnster fucking, long tongue, bg dck! jimin, somnophilia, forced voyeurism?) scary (?) confusing, angst.

If there is a God, he must be a cynical, cruel, tentative being.

Jimin squeezed his chin hard, his skull throbbing, eyes fixed on your wool coat-clad back. He was beginning to hate that olive green macrame that contorted in your tense muscles that you hadn't let him see for a couple of weeks.

Jimin thought that maybe it was your period the reason you didn't want him to touch you, that the headaches at night were from the stress of being so far from society. 

He always tried to be a good husband: making you tea, murmuring sweet nothings to you before going to sleep, giving you your space while he took Pepper for a walk to the lake. But winter has gotten crueler, the naked trees are like veins in the eyes of the white sky, pulsant and hideous, and your wall has grown in size. 

The nights have become silent. You only know how to do one activity besides sleeping: cooking. Mainly meats: grilled, baked, stewed and steamed. With spices, drunk in wine, boiled with basil, cut into pieces, and shredded by hand. Jimin started to hate the pungent smell of dead cows. 

Every night, you ate quietly at the table, and for Jimin to get the words out of you, it felt like he had to put his hand down your throat and spread them on the table. Barely audible, barely sentences.

It was a late winter afternoon, Jimin had tried to be flirty for the first time in a while since there was little time before he had to work again, and he wouldn't see you again for months.

It was a simple kiss on your neck that made your skin crawl, and you almost cut yourself with the knife in fear.

He was now sitting at the island, the kitchen illuminated by the grayish sun of cold afternoons. You were cutting the fat from a calf with the precision of a butcher. Jimin had both hands covering his mouth, thoughtful.

"Mom asked about you. I told her you were at the lake." He murmured to cut the tension of that odd rejection.

"I was sleeping." You put the knife aside, looking for another piece of meat in the refrigerator. Almost four pounds on the table, but Jimin didn't want to engage in your weird fucking activities.

"I've already told her like twice that you've been sleeping, she'll think you're sick or something."

You did not answer.

"I'm fine, it's just the nightmares. I don't sleep at night."

"I know, I know." Jimin sighed. 

He felt sorry about every time he found you curled up on the living room furniture, sweaty and breathing fast; you were sleeping but seemed forced. 

"When we go to Joon's house in the summer, we'll look for a doctor."

Your head tensed, tilting. Then you denied it.

"Don't you want to see a doctor?"

"I'm not going to Namjoon's house this year." You huffed like it was obvious.

Jimin frowned, both hands falling to the cold marble in surprise.

"But this year I'm bringing my parents to meet you, Namjoon is getting married in July, I don't-" he snapped, but you shook your head again while still doing your mechanical cut and throw movement.

Jimin cleared his throat, and you looked at him out of the corner of your eye.

"What?" You responded innocently.

"You really don't want to see my mom?"

"Jimin, I'm getting tired of this."

"What are you going to do, take another nap?"

The blood from the meat on your hands began to drip down to your wrists, the metallic smell causing you a voracious appetite.

"You want wine with the grill?"

"Are you fucking serious right now?"

You sighed, counting to ten. Just a few more hours.

"You can invite her to the cabin, if that's what you want. God knows how much we need someone else in this place."

"I already told you we'll go in a week."

"Without consulting me."

"What should we talk about? We've been planning this for a year."

"I don't feel like going anymore."

"These days you don't feel like doing shit."

You chopped the carrots on the bloody board, the chopping making noises in the immense silence between the two of you.

"It's like you want me to leave." He spoke.

You stood up when you pressed the knife on the cutting board; the tip stuck into the wood. 

That violence, pure and irrational force.

You looked at him with erratic eyes, Jimin didn't know if you were offended or not. Your hands clenched the counter, and your lips trembled trying to say something.

When you lowered your gaze, Jimin knew that your shoulders had not collapsed because of his tone, but because what he said was true.

"Oh my God, I'm right." A pained laugh. His body leaned back on the island that separated you two. "Is there anyone else?"

Silence.

Jimin's skin chilled when before turning to the meat again, barely visible, he saw a tiny smile lining your lips. Self-conscious and cruel.

Before he could think, the sweet husband's façade had broken and with long steps, he approached until he turned you over with his fists in that damn coat. You looked at him with wide eyes, and you wiped your mouth as if the fact that Jimin was going to kiss you disgusted you. The blood of the calf covers your lips.

You were cruel, and he wanted so much to love you, to hug you and hit that distant look on your features. To squeeze your cheeks and spit in your face so you get off that fucking cloud. That you wouldn't look at him with so much hate, with that thousand-yard stare. Take that fucking knife and put it near your beautiful neck and scream 'LOVE ME AGAIN, I FUCKING DESERVE IT'.

"You think this is a fucking game? I've been wanting things to go back to normal since October, but you," His nose wrinkled. "You have become nothing, you are just another object in this useless old cabin."

Your eyes seemed to get closer and closer to Jimin's, your pupils dilating.

"And even as an object I can't fuck you, you're useless." He let go of your coat and walked away, each word dying in his throat. He couldn't believe that he could talk to his wife like that, what kind of man was he?

Then, a single person came to his head.

"Are you seeing Ryan?"

Ryan was the one who sold the land to Jimin, every now and then he would pass by the road and stop to drink coffee and fish in the lake with Jimin. It's not that Ryan is an attractive man, nor a man who knew how to talk to women because he was a first-class hermit. He was not a man you would cause your marriage to fail with...

...Right?

"That's it. I'm going to sell the house."

"No." You were quick, your shoulders rose as if a puppeteer had lifted your strings, and you trembled again, denying.

"No, please."

"So it is because of Ryan?'

You inhaled all the air in the room, your eyes a predator. 

"Ryan is a parasite in front of him, filth, a mere fly on the wall." You barked causing echoes to reverberate off the walls of your boyfriend's chest. Your trembling fingers covered your mouth instantly.

The knife in your hand, the fingers bloody from the fresh meat, that green coat that you didn't take off, the tangled hair. Jimin didn't recognize you, your sweetness had turned bitter; like a viscous liquid made from plants. Raw and strange.

"You're a fucking whore." His voice trembled, the sting of tears wanting to flow like shooting water.

He took his coat, with a whistle he called Pepper and they both went with a roar through the wide, dense forest.

The afternoon became denser in the forest, the leaves did not move and Pepper spent the entire way sniffing the trees, howling at the birds that passed by without squawking. Jimin put a hand in his coat, the other looking for some signal to call Hoseok, his mother, the damn police. Whoever.

He found his headphones in his jacket and placed them on top of his head, connecting them to his cell phone. He turned on the Bluetooth.

Connected.

"Come on, fuck." He mumbled until Hoseok's number started ringing in his ears. It rang once, twice, five times before he could hear anything.

"Seok, couldn't you last longer to answer the damn call?" The lake did not move, his boots made the wood of the dock squeak as he walked from one side to the other. 

"No, I just need you to help me with something, I don't want Joon or my mom to worry, but I need you to find a doctor and come here...p-preferably someone with knowledge of mental problems."

Disconnected.

"Hello? Hoseok, hello." He repeated, turning on the Bluetooth again. 

"No, it's just a little seasonal depression, but I don't want it to escalate into something worse."

Disconnected.

"Shit, fucking headphones." On impulse, he grabbed the device with the cell phone and threw it as hard as possible into the gray water.

And with the cell phone falling, he glimpsed the pale skin of a being on the other side of the lake, it didn't look like a bear or a deer. Pepper started barking, loud and fast.

"Quiet." Jimin tried not to alarm the creature emanating from the foliage, his dark eyes approaching the evening light.

Jimin stayed still until he saw how the creature's feet approached the tip of the other dock, his eyes narrowed to see his own reflection, blonde hair, and the same features. A being as tall and wide as a log, he was wearing a coat that Jimin had given up for lost months ago, but it was dirty and torn due to the size of the beast.

He was seeing a Behemoth in his own skin. A dim Jimin, a monster, an abomination of himself.

His feet began to move as the animal threw itself toward the water in his direction. Pepper stayed behind him, but he couldn't think of saving her. He was going to die.

He prayed it was a hallucination of his tired brain, a joke of his own mind. But he could hear the earth tremble with each approaching footstep.

Every tree looked the same, the path home had vanished and all he could do was scream for his mother, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Mom, please, help. Help." He screamed as his feet were grabbed, the wet earth choking on his whimpers.

"Help!" The creature screamed even louder, in the same voice but drowned.

Crawling wasn't worth it, the creature had grabbed him by his hair and flipped him over. Seeing his face, rough and full of scratches, caused an abominable pain in Jimin's chest; he wanted to vomit out his organs and die before continuing with this terrifying reality.

The last thing he remembers is his head crashing into a log, the guttural roar of his mammoth twin, and the green inferno engulfing his body as he falls to the ground.

When he opened his eyes, Jimin was in his room, his body tied to a couch in the corner. His mouth was muffled with a kitchen rag: the disgusting, metallic taste of the beef made him nauseous.

His eyes were guided to where your body was lying, you had the Prince t-shirt that Jimin had given you on. Your wet hair, the smell of coconut shampoo, the shower running in the other room, Pepper's howling in the distance. This was the first time you looked so angelic in a long time, so peaceful in your own dreams.

He couldn't move, his body felt heavy and slow. His fingers moved, his eyes too but it was as if it was a ghost of his body.

You sighed suddenly. With his hair standing on end, Jimin tried to call you but his voice didn't come out of his lips, a mere hoarse. Word dust.

Your body stood up unsteadily. You rolled your head to the entrance and smiled: there it was, on all fours, his mouth dirty with blood from the meat you had saved for him, those cupped pupils that you missed.

His body crawled closer until it reached your knees where he pressed his huge hand on one of your thighs, the wine bottle running down your body with each touch.

"Love," he roared until he climbed and transformed into a tower above you, nearly seven feet of pure dedication. You fed him daily with everything you had in the house. "My love."

That's what he called you. Jimin shook his head in the corner, his eyes threatening to close, his neck stretched out trying to reach you uselessly.

"Ah," his pale black tongue unrolled to reveal discolored pills at the tip.

You stuck out your tongue and let the creature's hands squeeze your neck so you would open wide, open better so his tongue would enter directly into your throat. The tickling in your esophagus from the movement of the wet muscle had your core tight.

When you stuck your tongue out, saliva connected both of your mouths, your eyes tilted; drunk and in love.

"More," he claimed, taking your small body in his hands until he had you anchored to his waist, both legs dangling. His fingers tore away what was covering your pussy, and Jimin could see the marks on your body, some yellowish about to fade, others a vivid red.

You lowered his sweat with the balls of your feet, his thick red cock throbbing at your entrance. Your body began to feel the effect of the sleeping pills, turning you into a nebula hanging from a warm mass.

When the tip entered you screamed into his chest, your nails scratching the flesh until it bled. The monster groaned in pain and knocked you to the ground causing the floor to shake with the weight of both of you.

You didn't have time to complain as his sharp teeth clamped down on your shoulder to keep you from moving as he took his cock all the way in, blood pouring from your shoulder.

The pain was such that you imagined how the inside of your organs was breaking, the bones creaking under his hands on your breasts, your voice becoming a thread until it was silent with each roar in your ear.

The watery, repetitive sound. The bulbous tip covered in juices went in and out so easily that the fabric covering your stomach seemed like it wanted to tear at any moment.

"Fuck, fuck, Minnie. Hurts good." It was like you were communicating with a caveman, but your brain didn't function properly when it came to him.

"Good, I like hurting you." Thick, dark blood ran down to his chin as his tongue smothered you again. Your eyes closing, your hands trapped in one of his. Your moans cover the dark heart of the beast with a soft layer until your limbs gave up, unconscious and so wet for them.

Little human trapped in his forest, an inferior being praising a God she does not understand out of pure lust. You were adorable, warm inside, you made him big and unstoppable and he thanked you by filling you with his cum every night after you fed him. That was your only request, every time.

Now he was named Minnie and you shouted his name every time he did something right. Learned words like more, hurt, inside, want, fuck.

And just because he molded himself into something you already had, you adored him.

His tongue came out to snake around one of your breasts, his wide, long thumb holding your mouth open. Your dead eyes casually open to see your tied husband, your head wobbling and arms hagging in the air with every pounding like a rag doll.

He couldn't bare it, you were being raped in front of his eyes, and he couldn't do anything else than stare at your unconscious body, like a fucking parasite, filth, a simple fly on the wall. 

With a few steps, the creature approached Jimin, leaving your warm body on his lap. Your eyelids throbbed softly regardless of how the demon destroyed your pussy with every crash of his hips. 

Your lips were wet with foreign blood, wet hair stuck to your temples, and open hands that fell to each side of the furniture.

You looked like the girl he had that morning when he showed you the cabin, like the one from the first night when you two made love on the living room rug, like the one that bathed naked in the lake even though someone could see her. 

A nymph, just a beautiful wildflower.

And Jimin knew at that moment why that beast had you in his claws, why he grabbed you by the neck and squeezed you to wake up from your sweet dream. 

When you looked up and saw your husband's face, Jimin knew that he had to give up, because that thousand-yard look was a path that was forbidden to him, that he did not know and could not learn.

You were no longer his but from the forest. A red and grotesque fairy, who moaned instead of singing and collected bones instead of flowers.

And yet you were more beautiful than ever.

You smiled at Jimin and your hands moved down his face to remove the dish towel and kiss him like you've never done before. The sulfuric smell of a dead animal on your soft lips was enchanting.

"Oh, God, yes." You whispered in your sleepy voice.

The Beast bruised your hips until pumping your pussy with cum, thick and gray.

You and Jimin looked at the growling monster, picking up pieces of the wooden floor with its long nails. They looked up, and exhaled deeply, snorting like an angry bull seeking respect.

Before you could say anything, he was gone. Leaving your bruised body between your tied husband's legs.

Your fingers brushed your face as you felt something damp: the tears in Jimin's eyes flowed like summer rain, thick and abundant.

"Tell your mom you'll find a better girl, okay?" Your lips trembled, trying to dry each drop from which another came out. Jimin nodded, bringing your forehead to his.

"Am I really not going to see you anymore?"

"Any time you want," you assured, your voice echoing a dozen times like whispers spreading across the room. A choir of hushed angels saying the same thing over and over again. 

"Every time it rains, leave the door open, and I'll know you need me."

Your naked body turned to place Jimin's head on your chest, he sobbed himself to sleep, and you counted his eyelashes until it was time to leave.

With a kiss on his forehead, you let him sleep, when he woke up you were no longer there, the green coat was hanging in the back yard and the smell of your hair filled every corner, a floral ghost.

[not-goldy]

i just don't understand why you guys are so adamant to think jimin is a liar and just simply not listen to him. jimin has never shyed from the truth and even if there are times where he tries to be subtle he makes it still glaringly obvious. im convinced majority of you just didnt watch the documentary and just watched the jikook cut because otherwise you would see how jimin came up with the lyrics what he said about the lyrics and meaning and why he chose jungkook to do it. never once did he even slighty imply it was a romantic love song for a secret partner. jungkook is the vocal model all members use. he is the member all members go to if they want vocal backing. he's done it with yoongi, jhope and now jimin and not to mention the group itself😭 and it's not letter ft jungkook it's letter by jimin. full stop. jk has credit of backup vocals just like namjoon has writing credits there is no difference. the least you all can do is respect jimins music and not just see and hear what you want to fulfill your shipping narrative.

Aht aht aht aht

I'll stop you right there.

I don't care bout all you said from paragraph one - I mean if it don't apply i let it fly. Find whomever is giving you the said headache and take it up with them but I won't let you conflate the credits of these men.

There is a difference between JK being credited as background vocals and Namjoon being credited as writer. No it's not the same thing. They both contributing their unique strengths to his project.

A singer is not a writer. Not all who sing CAN WRITE and not all who write CAN SING.

You do not have to take away from the art of an artist just because crediting one of those artists makes you uncomfortable.

Like you said, JK is credited as background vocals.

Why can't you leave it at that and be okay with the fact people celebrate that? We will celebrate that whether you like it or not. Will do🙂

You can't be this peeved that people want to celebrate that. You can't be. That's so messed up arguing the degree of importance- if it wasn't at all important to JM he could have skipped having Jungkook on. You not the least bit curious why he bothered with Kook on his song to begin with??

Messes with your head don't it???

Whether his contribution is to you minimal or not he's on there.

There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that FACT. And if you can acknowledge THAT FACT THEN WE HAVE NOTHING TO ARGUE ABOUT.

JUNGKOOK IS ON THERE. WHETHER YOU CALL IT A DUET OR A SING SONG- LIKE SHAKESPEARE SAYS, WHATS IN A NAME.

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME IS SWEET.

WE DONT CARE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO CALL LETTERS- WE GOOD AS LONG AS JUNGKOOK IS THERE🙂

WE ARE NOT ANAL. WE ARE NOT STUCK ON CALLING IT A DUET OR SYMPHONY. THAT'S YALL CRAZY PSYCHOS' TERRIAN BUT ARGUE THAT WITH YOUR MAMAS AND LEAVE US ALONE.

Yall solos sound the same whether it's Tae solos or BTS antis. I recall this same debate over Jimin's part in Angel pt 1 with some saying its irrelevant because it's 5 seconds.

Then they argued Jimin didn't deserve writing credits for his "sick and tired but I don't wanna mess up" in BTS' disease.

If he appeared 5 seconds in a movie yall will call him an actor worth nominating for Oscars

If Jimin did Bg vocals for any one especially if it were a song this good and if it trended on the charts at number one yall would be doing back flips so kindly SIT SOMEWHERE AND LET US JIMIN JIKOOK STANS HAVE OUR TIME.

We have yalls digits. We know how yall operate. You are the same. So please just fuck off these Jikook spaces and do this toxic shit in your own spaces WE DO NOT WANT TO COMMUNITY WITH YOU😩😹

WHY WONT YOU JUST GO AWAY

Downplaying Jungkook when if it were your faves you'd be rejoicing

The disrespect 😤

The Tuktukkers syndrome yall have😹

One and the same brain cell I swear.

What else did you say...... oh right-

Everyone goes to Jungkook for backing because

Wait for it

A. HE IS A VOCAL KING AND VOICE LEADER OF THE GROUP

B. HE IS A GOOD TALENTED SINGER AND HE HAS A SWEET VOICE TOO

C. HE HAS SOCIAL CURRENCY AND CLOUT

D. HE'S JUNGKOOK

But Jimin went to Kook for letter because

A. KOOKS VOICE WORKS SO WELL WITH HIS

B. LETTER CARRIES MEANING TO HIM

C. ADDING JUNGKOOK'S VOICE WOULD NOT DETRACT FROM IT'S MEANINGFULNESS TO HIM AND WHOMEVER THE SONG IS MADE FOR- WHICH IS NOT YOU.

D. HE DID NOT INTEND THE SONG FOR HIS SOLOS

So even if you believe with your whole chest that the song is for his fans, ITS FOR A SPECIFIC SET OF FANS WHO WOULD APPRECIATE WHAT HE TRIED TO DO WITH THE SONG- AND TRUST WE DO

ITS NOT FOR YOU KIMBERLY

Read my lips

Or hands

LETTERS IS NOT A LETTER TO YALL TOXIC SOLOS SO YOU CAN SKIP THIS ONE LEAVE IT FOR US YALL DONT WANT IT SAY THAT AND GO😹

You know you hate it SAY that to Jimin and go. Tell him you hate Letter because he dared to involve his Jeon Jungkook. Your problem is with him not US you just have a weird inarticulate cognitive dissonance that's preventing you from admitting that.

It's one thing to call out jokers making a song made by jimin and Jimin alone about Jungkook but to come out here with convoluted think peices about the degree of importance attached to a members participation on his song is sad and pathetic.

Fighting for a song yall not even included in😹😹😹

JUNGKOOK IS YOUR IDOLS IDOL HONEY

Best to believe that.

Wipe your tears with the back of your hands I'm out of tissues

[iphone18pham]

i saw your itzy as the love languages (which i loved btw) and i was wondering if you could do the same with newjeans if not that's 100% ok have a nice day <3

Newjeans as the 5 love languages

Disclaimers! Bad grammar, Not Proofread

Paring: Newjeans (separate) x Reader (No Gender Mention)

Masterlist: GG,   BG

AN:I'm glad you love it i hope this is what you wanted and sorry this took so long I had some school and family problems.

MINJI - Physical Touch

(YOU AS AN IDOL)

She's the one that gets jealous because the other members are "taking you away from her"

She tries to not make it obvious but people can sense her jealousy from a mile away

She would hold your hand and give you pecks on your cheek in front of the members to show them that your hers

She would find a way to hold your hand while performing like performing OMG at the beginning when you guys are standing behind Hanni

Kisses all over yours and Minji's face

(YOU’RE NOT A IDOL)

Loves when you put your fingers through her hair

Cuddles on the couch while watching movies

Being the unofficial leader of Newjeans brings stress so give her some messages once in a while

She will give hugs from behind while she kisses your face

You guys are always close together when going out

HANNI - Words of Affirmation

(YOU AS AN IDOL)

She totally says pick up lines to you I bet she has an app on her phone that gives her daily pick up lines

Complements you on your dancing, singing, and your everything

She knows she can make the members jealous so she does

tells how pretty you are and how she is so lucky to be your girlfriend and sometimes it gets really annoying

She would say i love you like every second if she could

if you guys weren't together like if one of you guys had to leave Korea because of being a fashion ambassador or something she would always stay up at night due to time differences just to say i love you and she misses you and that she can't wait to see you again

(YOU’RE NOT A IDOL)

Loves texting 'I love you <3' every day

She also likes when you text her good luck before shows/concerts

she still brags about you to the girls

she sometimes during lives would say somethings about you but you have a code name so no one knows

DANIELLE- Quality Time

(YOU AS AN IDOL)

Tik toks

I feel like she loves doing tik toks with you like to the amount that its too much and it gets annoying

She loves to go to the beach maybe just for a walk or swimming or just for some air

Would totally be the one to plan a way to sneak out of the dorms and roam the streets with you

She would totally have a movie marathon with you

Loves to go to a park or amusement park with you

Plays just dance with you even though she usually loses

(YOU’RE NOT A IDOL)

Loves short road trips together

She likes to go to the movies with you

So many tik tok drafts and privates that only family and close friends can see so you don't expose that your dating

Loves to go shopping and get ice cream/hot chocolate (depends on the season) with you

Cuddles while you guys just talk about your day is a must

HAERIN - Acts of Service 

(YOU AS AN IDOL)

I feel like Haerin has a nonverbal way of showing her love for you

Not that she doesn't say I love you it's just that she is better at showing than telling

She loves to help you with the choreography

Loves making snacks for you/with you

Loves doing your hair

She loves sharing clothes with you

Would share her blanket with you

(YOU’RE NOT A IDOL)

Still would teach you the choreography

Loves to make snacks for movie marathons

Would love to help you with homework and projects

HYEIN - Gifts

(YOU AS AN IDOL)

Loves it when you make her strawberry cakes

She would love it when you get her kpop albums like bts or twice albums

Loves making a kpop collaborative playlist with you

I heard her bias is Jin from bts so you better give her some photocards of him

Loves to go out to eat with you

She really loves it when you surprise her with stuff

(YOU’RE NOT A IDOL)

She can pull some strings to get you something signed from her idol friends

Gets you nice seating places at their concert

Loves to get you clothes and accessories

Loves trading stuff with you from other groups albums

Loves ordering food for you

Gets you chocolate and snacks

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Mention of riize made me want to pick your brain on the current state of kpop. I find the longevity of the 3rd gen boy group popularity fascinating, given how things were for the generations previous. What do you think might be behind the dearth of 4th gen bg kpop musics resonating with the korean public?

I don't live in korea, so I can't comment on the lived realities of music consumption in the country. Given your experiences and music expertise, I'd love to hear your thoughts! My understanding is that 4th gen bg music was not an easy listening experience and the public was turned off by the burning sun scandal??

***

“What do you think might be behind the dearth of 4th gen bg kpop musics resonating with the korean public”

BTS.

And the specific reasons why are linked to a couple other factors.

BTS is still pretty much a wall, even for 5th gen groups. K-pop generations typically last about 7 years, both tied to contracts and the typical life cycle of previous star idols at their peaks. For example, GDragon / BigBang was very popular from 2012 to 2018, for Girls Generation their peak years were 2009 to 2015. Both groups are active till today but even during their peaks, in 2015 and 2018, BTS was out charting both groups.

BTS is ~2 years into their hiatus and halfway through completing their military service and yet, nobody is anywhere near their critical acclaim and charting performance. Like, nowhere in the vicinity.

Like I keep saying, the biggest determinant for BTS’s success is their music. We know K-pop or ‘idol music’ in general is a somewhat niche space in Korea (Korea has its regular pop singers like Gaho, Junny, or Jimmy Brown who certainly aren’t traditional k-pop), but one reason BTS has had the widest appeal to the Korean gp is the quality of their music and lyrics. This is something I’ve talked about before so I won’t go into it lol, but on that note, it brings me to one of the factors I said was linked above.

That factor is song choice. A lot of 4th gen groups have never once not snorted the EDM garbage. You know the ones, the groups who have two hammers: dubstep and trap (EDM), and who see everything as a nail. And that’s before we get into the frankly atrocious writing. Some songs are great to jam out to mindlessly in the gym or the club, but there’s no real substance to it. In my opinion. I also think songs like that have limited (obvious) appeal for the Korean public (with time and exposure therapy they’ll learn to tolerate it).

I think it’s been clear for a long time that most 4th gen boy groups have had to rely on other tools besides music to build up their fanbases. But those kinds of tools result in an increase in dedicated fan girls, not gp support which is what BTS and most girl groups enjoy. And again, a big reason for that is song choice.

Which is why 5th gen boy groups are doing more actual consumable music (thank you NewJeans), groups like Riize, ZB1, TWS, and BOYNEXTDOOR, are making waves and charting higher than Stray Kids or Ateez ever have.

The one leg-up those 4th boy groups have though, is their performance credibility and experience. And that’s what’s going to lead to the resurgence of 4th gen boy groups this year. I actually expect 2024 to be the best year ever for 4th gen boy groups, a modest reversal to the trend so far of the girl groups far outperforming the boys. NewJeans will dwarf everyone else, but overall boy groups in 4th gen will close the gap compared to their peers, in 2024. Ateez and Enhypen (performance juggernauts), Stray Kids and TXT (solid soundscape), The Boyz and P1Harmony (for the really cool kids) will be groups to watch for.

This year is critical for most boy groups because it’s their last chance to gain significant ground with k-pop fan girls (including ARMYs), before BTS comes back.

Because once BTS returns, that wall goes back up reinforced and mutated… it’s going to be so crazy lol.

[juliens-bakery]

hi sorry this is so long ! this question may seem out of the blue, apologies, but why are so many boygenius fans on here, like, shameless liberals who won't tolerate any criticism of Biden? to be clear I'm not talking about your blog, I scanned it and it was so refreshing to see someone actually critical of the Dems and their instrumental role in the genocide. like, I see popular blogs in the fandom making aggressive posts that are basically “you HAVE to vote blue” and *yet, crucially*, they haven't reblogged anything actually critical of Biden? it seems the only time they talk about politics is to proselytise about how you HAVE to vote blue despite the *genocide*, and nothing negative about the actual policies, just scolding anyone to the left of them and saying hey biden's actually not that bad domestically !

i'm a POC boygenius fan from the global south and it's just something I've been observing keenly knowing that the external policies of that country will always hang over my head like a looming threat, whether blue or red is in power internally. and when young voters in that country do, for once, take cognizance of the devastation enacted on *our* countries by their govs, these liberals crawl out of the woodwork to scold them, then go back to posting about the latest julien-lucy sighting or whatever. it's surreal to see.

again, sorry for the unprompted rant, it's just been eating at me for so long and this blog just seems like one in the fandom that I can still trust. I just needed to get this off my chest. i fell in love with bg in 2020 I'll go back to streaming them now <3.

hi! thank you for this ask, it's been very thought-provoking for me, and i really do appreciate the trust. and no worries about the length, i'm about to one-up this shit.

it is a little hard for me to answer this question fairly. for one, the boygenius-sphere has changed a LOT since i started here (7 years! it's a long time!), and so a lot of my mutuals that i've had since are no longer here (shoutout @remembermydog though, we still here <3) and a bunch of new people have come through. so i'm really not as plugged in with the broader fandom space as i used to be, and i don't really follow a ton of new blogs these days, so i can't really say that i've seen everything that you've seen for myself.

that being said, even if i've had less ability to share your experiences, i do think what you're saying has a lot of truth to it. the obvious thought is that boygenius fans are disproportionately white, which naturally lends itself to that sort of optimism about the extant systems of power. fundamentally, i think, it is very difficult for a white person in that country to reconcile themselves with the idea that the extant systems of power were always bad to begin with and have never been fit for purpose, b/c they've always worked well enough for them. like, there's no innate moral value with being white or not, but it's not the most surprising correlation either. (and yes, i'm aware that boygenius fans are also disproportionately queer women, which counterbalances that optimism to a very real degree).

the frustrating thing is that there are so many people who refuse to even entertain the idea that some people have a moral line over which they will not cross. and i do think that there can be a moral obligation to do an unpleasant distasteful or "bad" thing in order to achieve better ends. but there's always balance between the depth of the wrong and the value of the ends. and everyone has to decide for themselves where that balance lies for them. if i was american, i don't think i would vote this year, for a bunch of reasons. i don't think i would begrudge anyone voting for biden, especially if they thought that trump would send even more bombs (although frankly i have no fucking idea what trump would do). i've voted for trudeau in years when i really didn't want to because of the voting patterns of my particular district. i am about to be an extension of the canadian legal system, which has inflicted incredible amounts of harm to indigenous people and many others.

voting for biden and not voting for biden are both moral compromises. the only question is: how much blood are you willing to get on your hands as you fight for a better world? everyone's line is different (and not everyone's line is acceptable). i think i'd be more comfortable with not voting, because i think joe biden is among the very guiltiest people for this genocide. so maybe i don't want to support and reinforce that guy! and fundamentally, a party that wins elections has much less incentive to change. and the thoughtless and condescending dismissal of these ideas that really infuriates me. so i am really sorry that your experiences of this space have been tainted in this way. there are lots of good and thoughtful people, and these years have been the most fulfilling period of my internet life. but it's a space full of people on the internet just like any other, and so i don't really think it's uniquely bad, but neither is it uniquely good. i've made a nice little space for myself, and i really hope you can find that too <3.

thanks for the ask. there were a lot of things i needed to get off my chest.

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

CHAPTER 13: SOMEONE IS COMING

warnings: murder, arson.

wc: 5141

prev chapter

***

"alright, hurry up! we don't have all night!"

seonghwa chuckles, watching changbin's short frame from above. he leans against the railing of the upperfloor of the warehouse, a cigarette between his lips as he observes the lower ranks moving merchandise. he's getting bored already, but changbin's loud and authoritative voice in that tiny body proves to be sufficient entertainment.

changbin sighs and shakes his head, somehow his eyes drift up toward seonghwa. he seems startled, as if not expecting the man's face. it brings him to seonghwa in just a minute.

"miss A said all the big dogs would be here. i didnt know that meant you too," changbin says.

seonghwa snorts, his lips curving slyly. "am i not the biggest dog?"

changbin raises his eyebrow. "you are, that's why you should be on the tightest leash."

killing other gang members are not allowed under any circumstance unless they turn out to be traitors. changbin is as loyal as they come, but that didn't make seonghwa's hand itch any less. its curved around his hunting knife, which happens to be resting in the pocket of his long black coat.

"why do you want me gone so bad, Binnie? am i bothering you by being here?" seonghwa asks, sighing dramatically.

changbin bites the inside of his cheek. he'd heard about seonghwa when he was a junior in the gang, a bitch and a nobody. when he moved up, the man was still like a tale told by pirates. folklore. always in the shadows. he only saw him once or twice, either gambling or killing people.

yunho was an avid gambler. you would always find him at a table, whether it be at a restaurant, in a club, a casino. he was there. yunho made a lot of bets he couldnt pay up, and he lost often. seonghwa was his final collector. he paid the ultimate price.

"i think everyone in the streets know you offed Dirty Ho," changbin leans in closer to whisper. it only makes seonghwa's grin widen, thinking that changbin could be scared of death.

"point is, i dont know if you should be here. not sure why miss A would let you come to some small fry work like this."

"do you really not know, Binnie?" seonghwa frowns mockingly. "are you really a big dog yourself?"

"i know this is bait for the black dragons. but come on! its too obvious, dangling yunho's killer infront of them? everyone knows this...if the black dragons know you're here they'd know..."

seonghwa lightly slaps changbin on his shoulder, making him pause in his rambling.

"dont underestimate miss A. she knows what she's doing. she anticipated yunho would run and knew how to intercept him. now she's luring the BGs out. has she ever been wrong?"

then, as if fate thought this was a movie or videogame, gunshots erupt from outside. seonghwa and changbin's heads turn together like alert birds, their hands instantly going to their weapons.

changbin moves to run, but seonghwa grabs him by the bicep, making the man turn with a glare. "what are you doing? cmon! they're here!"

seonghwa coolly shakes his head. "we have lots of boys out there. let them come to us."

changbin's clenches his jaw, hating that idea completely. but seonghwa's ranked far higher than him, so he hits brakes and hangs back, refusing to untighten his grip on his knife.

the chaos outside grows louder. eventually there's a loud boom outside. a bright orange glow flashes by the entrance of the warehouse. it dims after a few seconds, but its still there. a fire?

men start running inside the warehouse, some of them getting blasted in the back. guns. seonghwa finally pulls a pistol from his pocket and points it at the entrance, waiting for the enemy to walk in.

it never happens. instead the entire place starts smelling like gasoline.

changbin keeps tossing looks of stress to seonghwa, irritated that they arent doing anything. "we can't just stand here!" he says, exasperated.

seonghwa doesn't really care. he looks past changbin's buff shoulders, seeing another figure on the mezzanine. he smiles, because its another assassin.

he's got red hair, noticable ear piercings and glint in his eye that seonghwa has definetely heard of before. there's something in his hand. changbin stiffens when he realizes its a match.

"the butcher?" the man asks with a tilt of his head. he looks changbin up and down then snorts with disgust. "you don't look like much to be having that kinda name?"

"im the butcher," seonghwa speaks up, his smirk growing. "and you are?"

"thats Fangs," changbin says, a pathetic waver present in his voice. "kim hongjoong. he's been in prison for armed robbery and murder for years?"

hongjoong smiles. "well, i got out. and im looking for a few people."

"me?" seonghwa grins. changbin is terrified by how normal the conversation is going when a black dragon is right infront of them. hongjoong only chuckles, then launches his entire body at changbin.

changbin's knife hits the steel, with hongjoong kicking it through the railing. seonghwa jumps in, trying to pull hongjoong from changbin's body, but as he's lifted, hongjoong kicks changbin in the chest, sending him folding over the railing.

seonghwa is pushed against the other side of the railing as hongjoong struggles, attempting to stab him. seonghwa has just enough speed to evade, but hongjoong's knife catches his leg, forcing him to let go.

seonghwa hits the floor, blood spurting from the wound above his knee. he grounds his teeth as hongjoong smiles and stands above him menacingly.

"ive come out of retirement for you fucker. where's the other two?" he asks, flipping the knife between his fingers.

who? seonghwa looks at him in confusion through his pain, trying to move back. hongjoong ends up stomping on his other leg, forcing his heel into it. seonghwa screams in agony, glaring through his hair.

"what the fuck are you talking about?!" he yells.

hongjoong throws out a punch, knocking seonghwa to the side. "dont scream, fucker. thats rude. where's the other two bastards that got our buddy killed?"

when seonghwa doesnt answer, hongjoong sighs and moves back, lighting the match.

"what are you doing?" seonghwa coughs, eyes going wide.

"tell Miss A this is a gift from us to her."

hongjoong drops the match down the mezzanine, setting the bottom floor of the warehouse alight. flames burst to life, spreading to nearly all corners. screams erupt from the bottom, ending the already dying men.

"fuck you!" seonghwa screams, finally pulling his pistol and pointing it at hongjoong. it barely spends a second in his hand before hongjoong boots him off the edge of the mezzanine, sending him thrashing into the flames below.

***

Yaera

i decided to go looking all over the house for san. after five minutes of being bored and horny, i didnt want to be just sit and wait for him to be finished.

where there's potential for more blackmail, i go exactly there.

not that i dont trust san, but if any of this goes wrong for me, i need to remember what im doing this for. if i ever need more money, yeosang is right there. im not going to pass up that golden opportunity.

i stiffen when i get downstairs, running right into jongho. he runs me into the wall, pausing when he sees me. he's beaten up still, he looks horrible. and his eyes are burning with hatred when they finally take me in.

we stand there for what feels like forever, but its only ten unbearable seconds. he moves past me with a purpose, no words exchanging between us.

and where the fuck is he going so determinedly?

jongho only really hangs in one place at a party, with yeosang. where yeosang is, usually there's more expensive booze, a bunch of girls and probably drugs.

and the situation on this night, is i need to be exactly where yeosang is.

i follow jongho, the blasting music masking the sound of my persistent steps going after him. he's marching, he doesnt even once look behind him. i guess he's pissed.

i dont know the layout of this place, but jongho cuts through an empty room and stops infront of the door. i slide behind a wall quickly, knowing he most likely turned around to check for anyone. the music is muted in this part of the house, so i only come out from behind the wall once i hear the opening and shutting of the door.

i go the same route, finding a dim hallway and no jongho. it reminds me of the sketchy place i followed san after school the first day i met him. weird time to get deja vu but i came prepared. i creep down the hallway and cautiously peer around the wall at the end, seeing san and wooyoung standing infront of yeosang.

yeosang's sitting on a couch in what looks like a garage. and he has a shit-smug grin on his face. san's fist is clenched and wooyoung looks tense. oh yeah, this definetely isnt going well.

“money?” yeosang lets out a laugh. “youre not getting any money.”

"what?" san snaps.

“you disrespected me, and these rosies are to make up for the shitty service. its a gift so that i stay a part of your shitty clientele. i dont owe you shit, lazarus. all this is mine.”

what the fuck is going on. i dont hear the next few words that get exchanged. i pull my taser from my jacket pocket, readying myself for any and all bullshit. i know its about to hit the fan.

jongho grabs a lamp from the corner of the room, hitting it right over san's head. the glass shatters against it and he drops to the floor, out cold. wooyoung screams and tries to attack jongho, but he's struck in the face with the base of the lamp, the attack too quick to dodge.

wooyoung falls to his knee and jongho finishes him with a punch to the face. he flops down next to san and i grind my teeth. jongho continues to beat them both, alternating kicks in the stomach between them.

"fucking! assholes!" he kicks with every word. "fucking! lowlives!"

"alright relax, buddy, they're out." yeosang chuckles. the girls on his couch arent reacting. they should be running for the hills right now. how much is this bastard paying them?

"nah. ive been wanting to do that for a long time," jongho grunts. "its personal."

"i get it. have you seen marino around?"

"ran into her. as soon as i find that bitch again she's done."

"you have my permission to escort her out of the party." yeosang raises a glass to jongho. he drops the lamp and takes it, swallowing it all in one gulp.

these assholes.

i come out from behind the wall, holding the taser behind my back. "you got anything to tell me, jongho?" i say, feigning curiousity.

they both jump in their skin when they see me. "fucking hell," yeosang breathes. "were you here the whole time? you're creepy, marino!"

"i only show when im summoned," i force a smile. "well? care to explain what happened to my friends?"

"they got what they deserved," yeosang answers cockily. "honestly, you're not so innocent. so you might too."

i hum and turn my eyes on jongho, who's borderline hyperventilating. he's pissed angry when he sees me, his face reddening and his shoulders just barely steady. its scary, but its nothing i havent seen before. jongho isnt the most stable person out there, ironic i know, coming from me. i guess thats why we gravitated towards each other back then.

"you bitch!" he yells and marches towards me. he grabs me by the neck and forces me against the wall, pushing me up. my head knocks against the surface and i yelp, steadying my breath. fuck okay, we're doing this.

his body presses me into the surface, and i barely have space to breathe with his angry breaths fanning me in the face.

"i hate you so fucking much," he hisses venomously. "everyday i wish it was you that was gone. i regret it. i regret everything we did. i wish i never met you!"

"likewise," i squeeze out, and he harshly grabs my face with his hand.

"dont bullshit me. i know you loved me," he scornfully laughs and i feel myself getting triggered. "you loved me and i only loved her. thats why you took all my pictures of her. you want me to forget her but i wont. i'll only remember her. i'll only cherish her. but you? i'd toss you away any fucking day, yaera. any fucking day."

yeosang gasps dramatically. "woah, marino. are you gonna let that slide?"

a single tear escapes me. not because im hurt. i just cant believe i ever loved someone like this. im beyond embarrassed. pissed at myself even. i beat myself up about it enough. now this? fuck no.

"oh yeah jongho?" i smirk dryly. he clenches his jaw harder. he wanted a different reaction out of me.

"yeah, yaera. you mean nothing to me."

"feelings mutual," i grit out and put the taser into his stomach.

jongho instantly lets me go, turning red as his entire body starts thrashing with electricity. he drops to the ground and screams, his reaction prompting yeosang to jump up from the couch. and the girls on him finally burst out running.

"what the fuck?!" yeosang screams. he moves to come towards me and i hold out the taser, making him jump back. he narrows his eyes at me, lifting his arms in surrender.

"you want some too?" i challenge.

"you have NO idea what you're getting into, yaera!" yeosang snaps, taking me aback. i smile, i cant believe i made kang yeosang lose his cool. that's the first time i ever heard him raise his voice, well at me anyway.

i use my foot to shake wooyoung awake. he stirs and looks up, disorientated. a trail of blood leaks down his lips from his nose.

he winces and feels his nose, letting out a hard groan. yeosang is frozen in fear as he stares at wooyoung. he tries to run but wooyoung springs at him, tackling him into the ground.

"bitch!" wooyoung screams as he grabs yeosang's hair, using it to slam his head into the floor multiple times. after a while they stop struggling and yeosang is dazedly looking up at the ceiling.

i move and try and wake san up, who is just gone from that head hit. i touch his hair, looking in horror at my fingertips as blood sits on them.

"i think the lamp cut his head," i say to wooyoung.

wooyoung curses and gets up, not before spitting on yeosang. he bends down next to me, shaking his head at his knocked out friend.

"lets carry him out to the van. i dont wanna be here another second."

i sneak a look at yeosang. "what about him?"

wooyoung scoffs. "fuck him. we'll get him back for this. he wont get shit from us after this."

maybe then he'll take up sobrierity. i take san's one arm and wooyoung takes the other and we carry him out of the garage, leaving those two assholes passed out where they are.

carrying san out of the party goes unnoticed. he looks like just another drunk guy who partied too hard. but im worried because of the blood in his head. im sure there's still left over painkillers and bandages from when i took care of his first wound. i lay san down in the backseat and slide next to wooyoung in the front.

its awkward as we start driving. wooyoung isnt even playing music. hes just gripping the steering wheel with his jaw clenched.

"you need me to check that nose of yours?" i ask him to break the tension.

"didnt realize you were a registered nurse," he snarkily answers. geez. "its not broken. you can lay off."

this guy is such an asshole. i dont ask him anything further, choosing to focus on the road.

"how did you know where we were?" he suddenly brings up, tossing me a distrustful look.

"what?"

"at the party. how did you know where to find us?"

"i followed jongho," i shrugged. "he looked like he was going somewhere serious. and i had a gut feeling. then i found you both."

wooyoung nods and sighs. he looks like he wants to thank me but doesnt know how. i just take the fact that he's asking as a thanks.

we pull up to san's place and wooyoung gets a phone call. he looks at the ID and scowls, cursing again before answering.

"yeah?" he says. it takes five seconds to pass, then his entire face changes.

"what happened?" he stammers.

i should move but i dont. i sit there and watch wooyoung's expression change from angry to filled with fear in no time. i dont even think of how much time has passed when he puts the phone down.

"i need to go," he tells me, not meeting my eyes. "i'll put san to bed and dip. you need to stay here with him."

"i was going to anyway," i say. "wait, what happened?"

he's spooked. his tan complexion looks like a squid swam underneath his skin and inked it full of grey. he gets out of the van without answering me and goes around the back to pick up san. i get out to help him too.

we carry san into the elevator of his apartment building, the silence deafening. wooyoung's reflection in the mirror is haunted, and hes standing with his mouth half parted the entire time.

god, as if more bad news was needed. if this is how he's reacting i dont even want to know how bad it will affect san. i know its not personal.

when we get inside san's apartment, wooyoung and i put him down on the nearest bed, the one i always sleep on. he's completely lame, yet his face looks like an angel. i close him with blankets and wooyoung gives me a dead serious stare.

"do not open this door for anyone," he presses like im a child. "if you need help, san has knives in his sock drawer."

he slams the door and leaves, not even giving me a chance to answer. okay, that's fucking unsettling.

for the first time tonight, i look at my phone. there are missed calls from my family and i know im in trouble. i cant be bothered though. i send a text to my father letting him know im sleeping at a friends house, adding a selfie so he knows i am in fact alive.

i dont wait for a response and sit myself down at san's desk, looking at his fishtank. watching the mollies swim in circles eventually put me to sleep.

***

san

when i wake up, my brain feels like it fell down a flight of stairs.

the entire back of my head is throbbing and i cant even tell where i am. my vision blurrily focuses on the blue in my room, until it focuses on my fishtank. i try to get up, wanting to feed them, but as soon as i get to my feet i stumble into the wall. my arm is grabbed and my soul jumps inside me when i see yaera.

my mind is blank. "morning sunshine," she says with a soft smile. oh god.

i stare at her and shes wearing an old shirt of mine over the skirt she had on last night.

"did we sleep together?" i ask. i look down and my clothes are still on but i cant remember when i got home. all i remember is...

her lips on mine in a dark room and my walls and feelings of caring slipping rapidly.

"if i said yes would you be mad?" yaera grins. my face falls instantly and i hold my head, feeling more lightheaded. i fucking slept with yaera and i cant even remember. what a waste of space my life is.

"i cant believe this," i groan and pull at my hair, falling back onto my bed. this was NOT supposed to happen. why was i so weak?

yaera sighs and sits down next to me. "no we did not sleep together, pagliaccio. i'll pretend to not be offended by your reaction."

oh. i awkwardly look at her and she's glaring at me. i want to fall down a hole. so did the rest of the night happen...? was it real?

i want to ask everything on my tongue but all i can get out is, "what did you call me?"

"i called you a clown," she clicks her tongue in annoyance. "how are you feeling? does your head hurt?"

i nod, wincing. i must have had too much to drink. and i blame her, because i was trying hard to not care about kissing her. i couldnt do it without the liquid courage, i was too afraid. because i have never met anyone like her in my life.

"san?" she frowns at me. "do you remember what yeosang did to you?"

"yeosang..?" as i utter his name everything comes flooding back. that bastard.

i grind my teeth against each other and seethe. he robbed me. kang yeosang seems to think hes immortal. he seems to think nothing can ever go wrong for him. him and jongho both.

i laugh bitterly. "well, what a shitfest that party was, huh?"

"it wasnt all bad," yaera eyes me. i feel my face redden. i have to handle this soon. "but lets talk about what you're going to do about it. you gonna let him get away with it?"

i cant even think straight at the moment. "where's woo?" i ask her. surely he didnt just let things be. i know his impulsive ass probably left both yeosang and jongho with some missing teeth.

yaera frowns. "i dont know actually. he took off last night and seemed off. i think something happened. he got a phone call, put you to bed and then quickly took off. you should check on him."

phone call? it had to be from changbin then. we were due to hear from him anyway. i pull my phone from out of my pocket and there arent any missed calls for me. thats weird.

"do you think you're in trouble?"

her dark brown eyes are innocent like a deer's in asking me that. truth is, i dont even know. i dont know how to feel entirely. all i know is my head is spinning and i cant believe a thousand things.

"i dont think anything." i say honestly.

yaera lightly rubs my shoulder, a soft look in her eyes making my chest burn. this is bad. she becomes conscious of our contact, suddenly looking at her own hand and awkwardly pulling away.

"so...you're still going to be my date for tonight, right?" her voice is hopeful. i want to say no.

i want to say no because im scared. i dont want this. i dont want this kind of attachment.

"well, i did say i would be. plus its for business," i shrug. yaera lightly raises her brows, not pleased with that answer. of course she isnt.

"business, of course." she tightly smiles. "è tutto un affare per te?"

i scowl. "are you cursing me out again?"

she gets up and goes to the kitchen, pulling out a cigarette as she opens my fridge. i swear its like she moved in here. "at least that lamp didnt completely knock the common sense out of you. get ready and go shower, i promised my parents i'd be home soon and they have to meet you."

"what?" i stutter. "sorry??"

she turns around and gives me a deadpan look. "where fucking else are you going to get a suit for the gala? you have to come to my house remember?"

i shouldnt have said yes to this thing. i feel out of place and the energy between us is weird. i know im making it weird but i dont know how to act. we kissed. and were going to do much more than that. its not a good thing. theres no way this ends well.

i say nothing and go shower, my head hurting for more reasons than the lamp now.

***

yaera

all i can say is, i hate men. i hate them with a burning passion.

i hate my uber driver. and i especially hate the man next to me in this fucking uber.

san isnt saying a word to me. hes staring out the window as we drive to my house, completely avoiding conversation. coward. he couldnt keep his lips off me the night before and now he cant even look me in the eye.

a familiar feeling floods back. its an empty feeling. i dont know what it is, but i'd remember being filled with it back when jongho and i were the present.

he'd kiss me. and touch me. and he'd spill all his desires in my ear whenever we were alone. it was nice while it lasted, those few times he was mine. then we'd get around my sister. or her friends. and we'd get to school, and suddenly i didnt exist to him.

i was pathetic. i tried hard to get his attention. i'd move closer to him when he talked. even though we'd just insult each other. i'd try to make conversation when we were in a group setting. he'd respond and not look me in the eye.

then later on when we're alone again, he'd tell me how pretty i looked all day. he'd tell me how he couldnt wait till the day ended to see me. no matter how much he cussed at me, embarrassed me and humiliated me infront of others, he'd still want me to come back.

and i went back. so many times. and it was so fucking humiliating.

i swore to myself when it all ended. when i knew for certain he wouldnt ever care about me the way i cared about him, that i would never do this to myself again.

and yet here i am, the deja vu waving infront of me like a fucking flag in the wind. but somehow worse, because san wont even acknowledge what happened.

"thanks," i tip the uber driver and get out of the car infront of my house. i got my books and everything so my parents have proof i was out studying.

im in a shit mood so i dont say anything on the way to the front door. san is following behind me like a lost puppy and its pissing me off. i dont even want him as a date anymore, i just want to see him in a damn suit.

"what do i call your parents?" he asks me as i knock on the door.

"Mr and Mrs Cunt," i sarcastically answer, not looking at him. san sighs in response.

one of the maids open the door and i mumble a greeting before bulldozing through. i find my mother and father sitting at the kitchen island, both furious in the eyes as they see me.

i go kiss them on the cheeks. "mamma, papà."

my mother shoots me a dirty look. "and where the hell have you been? you smell like cigarettes!"

"i was hanging out with some friends and i slept over," i act casual, looking to my father. "i told you, didn't i, papá?"

"you sent me a message last night after being gone ALL day," he slams his cup onto the island, glaring at me. "what did i tell you, yaera?"

"is this that boy who had bruises all over his face the last time?" my mother asks, looking directly at san with narrowed eyes.

san is confused. he doesnt seem to recall when and where my mother has seen him. but i know. from the very next day we decided our partnership, my mother laid eyes on him.

she said he looks like trouble. man if she knew.

"mamma, papá, this is choi san. he's the guy who tutors me. he's also my friend from class and my date for tonight's gala," i introduced, getting growing stares from my parents.

"date?" they both repeat, scowling.

"san, this is my mother, monica marino and my father, ruan marino."

"hello, its nice to meet you all," san says and bows. god this is so awkward.

"so you are tutoring yaera in what?" my mother questions harshly. san gulps and his face screams unprepared. im annoyed at her crudeness but i knew it was inevitable.

"biology, Mrs Marino."

"have the two of you slept together yet?"

"mamma!" i interject, sighing. she wears a twisted grin. san is just standing there like he wants to fade into the wall.

"im sorry. im not sure what you mean, Mrs Marino?"

"has my daughter thrown herself at you?" she repeats more harshly. "are you the reason she keeps sneaking out?"

shes always fucking doing this.

"Moni, we called the school, remember?" my useless father finally decides to speak up instead of just being a bystander. "the headmaster said he is a good kid. one of the best."

"hmmm, they're all good kids in the faces of adults. its when they are out of your sight when you truly see who they are. look at yaera, she acts innocent here and then disappears and comes back smelling like every substance under the sun," my mother scoffs.

"but anyway, welcome to our home, choi san. go with Mr Marino. he'll find you a suit to wear for tonight. are you familiar with Brioni?"

"polony?" san asks. oh god. its going to be a long night.

my mother smirks. "of course you arent. go and help him, mi amor."

my father sighs and abandons his food, beckoning san with a wave of his hand. the two of them disappear into the house and i cant help but stare at my mother tiredly.

"was that necessary?" i ask. "why did you embarrass me? ive been doing everything you ask of me. im here, im going to your events. i did the shoot."

"its not about what i want, yaera," my mother tightly says, irritated. "only when santo is happy with you is when i will be happy with you. now go shower, you smell like an old smoker."

i grit my teeth. if thats what it takes for her to be happy with me, then i guess none of us will be fucking happy.

***

next chapter

tagslist : @brown88 @yujispinkhair @sansonlygf

[fauxridium]

What is exactly is the deal with pretty-boy-thamaturge? I know you reblogged a post about them and even though I'm not into that fandom that is, I checked to block anyway and they have you on a post that says ask to follow if you support him. They also made a post about a transmed stalking them, but I don't for sure know if they're referring to you, but I've been following you since you drew Zelda stuff and well, you definitely do not seem like one. Mainly I'm just concerned about their deal wit

The basic low down is that they're a self admitted conservative, pro cop, and are transphobic (even if they id as trans now, they still back up and support transphobic ideologies) so like. In general just not a good person with their world views lmao

I am Definitely not a transmed, if they were talking about me i have no idea where they would even get that from, i literally have transmed under my dni criteria in my carrd so. Lol, im also a very high fem non op trans man myself so me being transmed literally makes 0 sense fjskv

But to summerize my Personal issues with this person as best and as short as possible. I have osdd with a system member that kins faux and is not comfortable with doubles (they can cause very bad episodes of unreality that can become potentially dangerous for the body), they have did with a system member that kins faux and is not comfortable with doubles (for similar reasons as far as im aware), they joined a brc server im in (a public fandom server, not meant for kinnie stuff, mind you), and put in their intro like. Literally me no doubles or smth along those lines and listed faux, so I, in good faith, messaged them to let them know that i also kin faux and am not comfortable with doubles and would like to work something out so we could both be in the server and still be comfortable, they didnt take it well, ended up leaving the server (or being removed, still not sure what happened there because they were causing issues in the server Anyways), and then they proceeded to just be? Very weird fjeg, they had me blocked certain places, but didnt have me blocked on others, and would still try to interact with me as if we were chill. For some reason even tho i apparently trigger them (which. Idk if someone triggered me by just simply existing i wouldnt try talking to them DJDG), i ended up blocking them on everything once i was told about the kind of transphobic shit they were retweeting and them being a cop boot licker, and honestly. If anyone was doing any stalking it was them, because atp i simply forgot about it and redid my carrd to what it is now, and literally within a handful of hours of me doing it, like within the same night, i was told and shown that they redid their entire carrd to look basically exactly the same as mine, and even stole the icon i edited myself specifically for My carrd, the one im using as my icon rn, but they used the same bg and shit and while like. Everything else there could be plausible deniability on why it was the same. The fact that they took the icon i made myself just made it obvious they took everything from my carrd, they have since changed it a bit to look at least. A bit different, but are still using my icon lmao, so again, if anyone was the stalker in this situation it was def them because how would they see i changed my carrd That quickly after i had already blocked them and then. Choose to basically copy it if they werent checking my shit like. Is that not stalkerish behaviour DJSKG

Theres some other shit with them pretending to be a 3rd party to defend themselves in my bfs inbox but they ended up forgetting to hit anon on a follow up message they sent which basically just. Outed them for lying about being a third party who "doesnt know them very well but had to get on a call with them to calm them down" which like. Lol okay, mostly that's just cringe but also goes to show that they're not a trust worthy person who lies to try to defend themselves lmao

My main issues with them anyways isnt really with the personal shit, i dont like them for it sure, but i think the fact that they're trying to hide being conservative on tumblr while making it obvious on twitter by once again, interacting and retweeting from notoriously bigoted people and accounts is honestly deplorable, especially in a fandom that has a lot of trans people in it who def Would Not interact or associate with them if they knew the type of shit they were rting and posting on twitter. Hell they even admitted to being conservative themself in the replies of one of my posts, like. Idk PERSONALLY i just dont think we should allow for bigots in fandom spaces that are, again, full of many trans people. Also being pro cop but being into a game that is Very Anti Cop. Like how did you miss the point that bad lmfao

BASICALLY TLDR they are not a good or trust worthy person and anyone who is trans or anti cop or really have any morals at all should stay far far away from them lmao

EDIT: WAS JUST INFORMED THEY COPIED MY N$F￦ TWITTER HANDLE TOO. @ THIS PERSON IF YOU SEE THIS POST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GODS SAKE FJSKGSGD

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨Weekly Progress #37-39✨

aka the post spooktober edition 👻

As obvious from our release, we completed our spooktober project in time! The Final Prize is Soup can be played here! Get ready to fall into a death game for a chance of reincarnation in our Spooktober 2023 Yuri VN!

This year, I worked as a writer alongside Shino on Yanxu's route! Please check it out if you're up for a spooky good time!

Weekly Progress #37

Revised Spooktober script

Read through Shino's half of script

Fin reviewing Shino's comments

Weekly Progress #38

Responded to Shino comments

Updated script BG names

Added script into Renpy

Worked on [detective game] outline

Scripted about 55% of script

Weekly Progress #39

Fin base Spooktober scripting

Tested sprite sheet base for Wolf RPG Editor

Scripted in music

Updated NPC sprites, camera angles

Worked on a Rebi sprite sheet in Wolf RPG Editor

Scripted SFX

Scripted in photosensitivity and screenshake

Scripted in ic and cut ins.

So yeah, most of my devwork for September was just spooktober tasks, accompanied with a little Wolf RPG Editor testing.

I'm beginning to understand how this works.

A life update?

I finally quit my day job.

September has been a bit of a struggle because of that. Alongside of Spooktober (which I wanted to do), I had to prepare for leaving my day job. Did you know? It takes 6 hours to clean out 7 years of paperwork from my desk. It was a bit insane.

I don't have a plan going forward, just looking forward to rest.

Of course I'll still be working on my projects, but admittedly I feel a bit lost these days. It'll take a little time for me to figure myself out, but I think a big part of that will be doing more things that I want to do rather than have to do.

[bugsbenefit]

what about the 1989 coke can in that one video with the electricity books?

oh Interesting! did someone identify that can? i must have missed that if it's real do you maybe know a post about it? i'm not proficient at coke design timelines myself but i'd love to see a comparison/sources before i run with it haha

but assuming it is, i'd still only put tentative weight on it right now. because there have been a lot of anachronisms on the show before when it comes to props. half the cars, camera's, food like the cereal Lucas is constantly eating in s3, hell, even the iconic walkie talkies the party uses since s1 are anachronisms. same with the iconic Demogorgon figurine and so on. singular set pieces falling out of the timeline is not that unheard of, ig since most people wouldn't notice unless they dug into it and no one is taken out of the show. picking something that looks more exciting even though it's few years off is fair game for the show. (even though it being a coke can is a bit more interesting since it's a sponsor of the show so it's fair to assume they'd pay more attention to release years, i totally get where you're coming from. definitely worth keeping an eye on for sure)

as of now i'm still inclined to stick to very late 1987, given that we have both a set leak and casting call that would support it (as well as roughly matching the initial 2 years idea). the set also being something with an actual date written on it, so that date not matching the timeline would be more obvious than a product in the bg

but i'm definitely keeping a pretty open mind timeline period wise until we get more hints or some type of confirmation. (it's also kind of hard to tell what we're even getting into, since we don't even know how or when the time skip is set to happen. the easiest thing would obviously be a time skip early in the season. but since we know literally Nothing yet there could also be flashbacks or something to years we skipped over or whatever, which could give us multiple dates for set pieces and so on)

[spiteless-xo]

myself and mr. porcofucker just read the chapter sneak peek and based on the writing, i think reader ends up with **** and he thinks it's ****, but also has the theory that she won't end up with either of them.

i want to know if from this point, you think it's obvious who reader will end up with... because as much as i am team eren and have been since i started, it seems pretty open-ended to me rn.

that aside, i am not ready to say goodbye to this tuesday ritual :( i'm gonna miss interacting with you regularly like this </3 (ofc i'll still be here to lovingly bother you tho)

it's so wild how big your following has grown bc of tbaw too! i'm so happy to have been here for quite a bit of this journey! it was fun starting the trend of live ask reacting (;

but tmrw, the boyfie and i are going on a roadtrip and i'm glad because i'll basically get to take my time reading the end

i do have an exam tomorrow morning, so i might avoid the chapter until that's done, but i don't think i'll be on tumblr tmrw in case anything gets spoiled.

but i hope you're doing well!! i still need to see pics of your mikasa outfit!!! and mr. spiteless as the beast titan or zeke or whoever he chose 💀 loll

happy early halloween, tiffie <3

ily mahal ko!!!

hehehehe i did my best to choose the most outrageous snippet i could for the teaser and based on everyone's comments i think i made a good choice 😈

personally, i think it's obvious who she's going to end up with based on everything that's happened in the story, but i might have a clearer perspective as the author. i'm actually really excited to hear that you think it's open-ended because that's what i wanted!! i wanted the story to feel like she could choose either boy, up until the very end.

(there's actually a really, REALLY big hint that nobody's mentioned yet that basically gives it all away. I'm really excited to reveal it after the chapter drop tomorrow 🤭)

idk what im going to do with myself after tomorrow :( the first tuesday without an update is going to feel incomplete and i'm not looking forward to it.

good luck on your exam and have fun on your roadtrip!! 🥰🥰🥰

i tragically forgot to take a photo of me and zeke from our party this weekend!! i'll have to see if someone else has a pic of us in the bg or something 💀💀💀 i'd offer to put it on again for a new pic but those straps literally took me 45 mins to put on and i just don't have the energy for that rn

love you love you and you're always welcome to slide in my inbox, my dms, my whatevers anytime 🥰❤

[cloama]

MMATA covered the song from Freaky Friday on their new album. It's cute. The lead, Edith Victoria always has lots of personality but she needs some harmony help in these verses. Why we gotta wait for the chorus to get harmony? ETA: Iwas listening to this on headphones that were about to die. The quality was terrible. This song sounds great upon a second listen. I heard lots of background work. Sorry, babes.

The whole album is really fun and cute. It is full of breakup songs. Wasn't expecting that.

Love the bridge of Say it(to my face). She sounds like a punky lil angel there. It's also fun to see them get back at haters with an undeniable hit song.

The chorus of Kool is so chaotic. Why are you saying it like that?????? But the song with its very obvious Brainstew influence is just fun. They're wild for that one. Also Edith showing yall that she actually a mf vocalist. Bc that chorus be taking my lungs out. Yes, by the end I was singing it too. Very fun. Very silly.

Tea plays her ass off but I'm not hearing the shredding as much in this project. She's really restrained here but the parts shes writing a good. So solid. I kind of want her to compose for others. Similarly, Ava's feet aren't as heavy on the pedals this go round. It seems they've made a choice. It's fine. They get to do that. But choosing to leave that calling card off an album that's 50% breakup songs is a choice. Tea used to be fucking it up in the background. Just shredding her way through the verses which worked because there aren't a lot of bg vocals. Not singing backup as strongly, her playing made up for that. I miss it. I also miss Ava's heavy ass drumming. It's all really different on here. I need to find some interviews about this project. Need to know what went into these choices. I still really like what theyre doing. Young adult audiences should be in love with them.

After all that fun up top the albums takes TMI and Same Language into what I call the Frustration Break. A couple songs about mfs working on your nerves. They're cute songs but feel like a lull. It works because the choruses are so good and you feel relieved by the end of that chunk of songs. Also a-capella handclap breaks are my weakness.

A Few Tomorrows is the bittersweet midtempo song about how it's not goodbye, only a "see you later" which is placed in the right order because literally the rest of the album after this track is backloaded with breakup up songs.

Need Me(my favorite track of this album) is an upbeat breakup bop. Cute. MMATA has a gift for making songs you want to sing along to. Lyrics tho. The simplicity is good but I've seen the pen push harder.

This is where I noticed their hardcore influence is not present at all in this album. Poof. Gone. Aww.

It's Over for Me is another breakup song. Track sequencing is winning big. Love when songs are in correct order. This track is not as strong as Need Me. I would have left this one off the project.

Thx for Nothing is the last breakup bop in this chunk of songs. This girl is going through it. Very 5sos. I say this as a 34 year old who barely knows what a 5sos is. Oh and that main guitar part sounds like what i can only describe as family reunion music. Real ones know.

Rocket science is another optimistic bop taking us to the end of this album but the song is full of phrases from those Hang In There posters. It's cute. It's giving Disney Knees. Edith who usually enunciates to a fault just stops doing that. "Everything is possible" turns into "ennythahggihhhpohhhiiiubbboool" and I cant state enough that I loved that. The Gerard of it all.

King of Everything: lament about life being so unnecessarily hard and wanting a do-over. Hard relate. Don't love the melody as much as the others. Not a happy ending to the album but a resolution for sure. I think the last two songs should have been switched but they said what they said.

3.5 out of 5 stars to Meet Me @ the Altar for their sophomore long playing album. The sequencing of tracks is so strong. A lost art these days. The tracks work together to take your through a bunch of highs and lows then sticks the landing with that final track. The album is good at exactly what it set out to do. That's all I ask. Miss that hard playing tho. I'm sure the live shows will fill that gap.

[pashminalamb]

Belle!!!! It feels like forever since I’ve interacted on here 😭😭. Sorry abt that!! Honestly I’m good with either solo duds or long hcs. Maybe you can alternate between them? Either way I’m excited for the new works. Love how your angst is so phenomenal that your comfort has more notes asdjkhffggghghh 💀💀. Also. Like. It just hit me. OLIVER HAS HETERO EYES. OH MY GOD. Like I knew this before (obviously) but it’s like REALLY hit me recently and just mmmmmmhhhhmmmm yes yes yes HES SO SCUFFY LOOKINGLY HANDSOME AND ALL FOR WHAT. ahem anyways. “Should come soon if my fingers are fast enough” 💀💀. NO but like imagine saying that to Oliver as he’s a withering whiny desperate mess underneath you 👀👀. He’d love the objectification I just know it 😌. Aiku mini series you say?? 👀👀👀 I’m looking forward to it!! AKSO THESE ANON ASKS GAVE GOT ME KICKING MY FEET IN MY SHEETS AND TWIRLING MY HAIR AND TEARING UP. Like the fluff, the smut, and the angst??? UGH THEYRE ALL SO GOOD. All of it makes me want to bite something Bachiras neck. Also idea. But jealous Oliver would absolutely hate your obsessions with idols and fictional characters I’m telling you now.

“Are you telling me that if he was real, you’d pick him over me???”

“Yes. It’s like comparing a five course meal to an apple Ollie. The choice is obvious.”

*Oliver stands there in disbelief*

Asgkkkhghihhhhgffggg

I did not know that abt the ring thing that’s actually adorable. NO BUT IDEA OLIVER WOULD TOTALLY GET YOU A AMETHYST PROMISE RING WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HES SERIOUS ABT YOU AND AN EMERALD ENGAGEMENT RING FOR WHEN HE FINALLY PROPOSES!!!! ALSO thoughts. Bachira would absolutely be the kind of boyfriend that would assume you guys are dating without telling you and when someone asks “are you guys a couple” you’re standing there flustered and he’s like yes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. AND idk why but I think Bachira would be one of the blue lock boys who marries the earliest. And it surprised everyone but also made complete sense because if Bachira knows he wants something, he goes after it and sticks with it. So when he realized that he couldn’t imagine you guys NOT growing old together, he immediately started looking for rings. Anyways. How’s are you?? How’s uni going? Tumblr bring super annoying with the tagging system atm cause I know I tagged you in a couple things and it’s not showing your responses?? And I’m mildly terrified that you’ll tag me in something and I won’t get it until later and it’ll seem like I’m ignoring you when I’m not 😭😭. Have you eaten today? Drank some water? Go do that!!! *sends aggressive virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

This is gonna be a long ask - cause Oliver + Meguru scenarios- drabbles

Starry! It has been long but understandable cause you have exams- so on popular opinion, alternating between them... hm. good idea- i'm working on a piece rn - and yk its gonna be good when you got good music playing the bg- cause this piece is just... i don't wanna put expectations high cause i might end up disappointing you, but for me? its something that's been making me smirk the whole day.

Oh god, the comfort getting more notes 💀 i'm still confused cause- how. To begin with the pain took a lot of notes (cause istg this is a first that my works are crossing beyond 400 notes) and then the sequel is getting more notes than the prequel? the math isn't mathing rn in my head 💀💀 (even the sequel for the Tōji fic crossed 500 notes and I’m so confused) but ty for reading them and sharing your thoughts with me on this - everyone. And thanks for telling me about my work-

Yes, my husband Oliver does have heterochromatic eyes. He is scuffy looking and handsome. He is a pretty boy (¬////¬) tch. as if his pride needs to hear that.

If I said that (“Should come soon if my fingers are fast enough”) to Oliver, then it would have its own repercussions with him challenging me and then turning into a whining desperate mess on the bed - from overstimulation. (and i'm shorter than him. Imagine the amount of damage his pride would take smh) oh yeah objectification - istg the first line that came into my head as a dialogue is going into a fic (and i have used it once) so the thing with Oliver is that- this man. he gives off that whole Aura that he knows what he is doing and all right- in truth? he wants to be dominated by you. He doesn't mind being the dom but he enjoys it when you're the one who is rough on him and he likes pissing you off. (and god the brainrot i'm having rn cause of him is going into this fic that i'm writing)

The amount of searching i did to find that doc (ㅠ﹏ㅠ) it was untitled among 30 other untitled docs (ㅠ﹏ㅠ) - so i finally labeled it and i'm putting labels on other fics as well Jealous oliver is very cute. He'd go and pout on the couch, way to coax him out- is to baby him. "Is my Olive sad?" “Is my wittle Olive sad?”

Oliver : “Shut up.”

You : “I’m not going anywhere you brat. I was just kidding.”

Oliver : “You would trade me for Henry Cavill?”

You : “Nope.”

Oliver : “Cause I would trade you for Scarlet Johansson.”

You : “…”

Oliver : “Doesn’t feel so good to be traded now is it?”

You : “Is Sendou looking for a girlfriend? I might be interested since my boyfriend is being a jackass.”

Oliver : “…”

You : “Doesn’t feel so good now does it?”

Getting back to the heterochromia part- imagine doing the pupil dilation with Oliver- for "science purposes." you : "Close your eyes. Think of some random stuff." Oliver : "Why are we even doing this." You : "I wanna see if pupil dilation works. Open them." Oliver *opens eyes* : "Pft. Okay" You : "Alright... close your eyes again and think of me." Oliver : "hm...." You : "Open them" Oliver slowly opened his eyes, the center of it dilated as it struggled to adjust to the light. "You really do love me don't you-" "Don't flatter yourself Bambi, it's your rack/ ass." Yeah i like this non-existent relationship. It's a very fun one ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ cause playful banter in a relationship is like a checkbox for me- honestly. I'm not one of the lovey dovey types- even if I am it is in micro doses. Actions matter to me more than words... and Oliver is good at both- smooth jackass cause he is a charmer (,,>﹏<,,)

Oh yeah Bachira is totally the type to drop a bomb out of somewhere abt a relationship. Like imagine you both being in a situationship and he says that you are gonna meet his mom cause he arranged dinner for the three of you to meet up- and Yuu asks about you. "We're in a relationship." *spits water* "You should have introduced me sooner, Meguru. Why hide such a pretty catch from me?" "But we're here aren't we?" There is no arguing with Meguru. You're wearing his clothes? He's sleeping at your house for afternoon nap? you're cooking for two and he's doing the same? That means you're in a relationship. Simple.

Bachira is the type to take things easy and slow at his own pace. But when he realizes that he can't waste his time away- he is gonna be on the lookout for the next best thing. Poor baby starts holding his hair in despair when he realizes that the two of you are official, but there are still other people out there who are gonna look at you funny. So he does go shopping for rings... dragging Isagi with him. Bachira could be the first one to marry possibly- ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝•༝•⸝⸝ᐢ꒱⸒⸒ but i feel like karma would bite itoshi brothers in the ass first - cause they hate human touch. And rin would be the first one to marry. The shock everyone would have cause of it- ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა (then sae, and then Oliver...) I'm doing alright- listening to Abba cause i find it very stress busting. 80s music are such stress busters and this group is my fav - along with many other 80s songs (listened to a few of kiss's songs in the library earlier- i'm very experimental with my music taste) Uni is draining me honestly- (¬_¬") my prof especially - and everyone is annoyed with this one. Not a fan of the prof, but I'm only focusing on getting a good grade and working well to learn something new everyday. Even my roommates who don't have a class with them have heard enough of their notoriety - smh but anyway, i'm keeping some positivity by day dreaming in class and making my day better with pinterest and fake scenarios - yes. i daydream abt Oliver ૮• - •ა (are we even surprised atp?) and today is just not my day- slightest bit of inconvinience and i'm ready to fly to mars (to begin with- oil fell on my pants and then it got stained with mayo cause someone wasn't looking where they were going T.T - istg)

Oml, tumblr is at it again. istg- but its okay, i get updates on my dash from time to time and i do get the number of on my notifs- and when i check you're not there but then ik its you and i head over to your blog 0^^0

I had a sandwich and a popsicle (I got a "ice cream in the morning? Really?" Yes. it makes my mood better o.o and i want it) I hope you're doing okay and not overworking yourself - ♡︎

*sending back koala hugs and Oliver spam*

[izacore]

I'm fairly new to this fandom so take this with a grain of salt, but I feel like often in this space it's like we think Harry's team should be monitoring the interactions here and changing his image and approach based on our feelings and perceptions. This is not how artist management works at all. And especially with Harry who has been in the spotlight for 12 years now! He likely doesn't even check a single thing online about himself (I hope he doesn't, for his own mental health). Celebs—and I'm friends with a solid amount—don't give a crap about Daily Mail. Like legit my friend was JUST stalked yesterday by DM trying to get info about her husband's role in a TV show. It's nuts. It's tabloid JUNK. Nobody is attuned to the movements of these websites like a fandom is. Nobody. Most people view celebrities as part of a reality show going on in the background of their own life.

So, to think that Harry's team is monitoring every interaction and then is going to change their plan because of public/fandom perception is wild. I get why we would want that (trust me, I'm so sick of the Olivia narrative, I can't even stand it), but it's just not realistic. The only reaction to a scandal like this is to go public, get seen, and act unfazed. Doesn't matter WHAT the scandal is -- it's PR 101. If he hid away, it would be worse. Harry is not one to cower. I mean, he sat there smiling and chewing gum while Taylor Swift thanked him for inspiring the song about screwing him over (stunt, but still... the public didn't know).

As a celeb, you have to become almost immune to what people think of you. You can't be a court jester changing your approach to appease this group or that group or this group. You have a marketing plan; you stick to it. You have talking points; you say those. It's harmful and dangerous to expect a celebrity to go online and change their image based on trying to appease factions within their fandom. It just is. They have a marketing plan to protect themselves from going up and down with how people perceive them from moment to moment.

Celebrities view their public life very differently than the average non-famous person. There's a lot of separation. To think Harry's team is on tumblr monitoring our thoughts and then is going to change the whole plan based on that -- I mean, I know that's not what people are saying, but that's the implication. That's not going to happen. It's just not.

hi, thanks for dropping by! hmmm I would say that we are having a different perspective on it, and like you said, you are new in this fandom so you probably don't know, but their teams going on social media and aligning their stunts based on what people are saying happens here all the time.

it happened in the first weeks of bg when they were dropping anons asking people what would make them believe it's real, happened with elounor 2.0, happens with the holivia stunt every week. like, lmao you want to tell me that hshq didn't care about the reaction to the shia video but they still banned her from attending harry's shows for during that time? pleaseeee. i agree that celebs probably do not care but they have their teams to monitor fan and social media response, especially when you are such a big star like harry. it's about his whole brand and image, so them, not cutting ties with the leech after everything she's pulled is an obvious sign of incompetence for me. they can throw damage control here and there (which again, we have proof they do that) in the form of some unseen footage, but it won't calm down his fandom turning on him anymore, or the gp seeing him as a laughing stock.

besides... yeah, sure, harry doesn't cower, but there is a clear difference between holding his head up high when somebody unfairly shades him and associating himself and making it seem like he's standing up for a person as horrible as olivia. if we were talking about him getting dragged by people after the vogue cover and him not caring then i would agree that he shouldn't care but here??? a person as kind as harry should not care he is dragged through the mud and for what? sorry nonnie, but you are making him out to be an asshole who acts like he's above us mere mortals. i am not expecting hshq to do anything anymore, but i won't believe that fandom chatter doesn't affect them a bit (which, again, trying to appease and distract the fans in various ways proves). plus, if they're not here then what's the harm in us venting about it, they're not going to read that right? 🤷‍♀️ i am just utilizing a fandom space what it was created for :)

i hope i explained my point and i hope i didn't come off as if i was attacking you, that was certainly not my intention! anyway, that was an interesting ask nonetheless, so thanks, welcome to the fandom and let me know if you'll have any questions :)

[milkovski]

hello can I ask how you got into drawing? it's something that i want to do for a long time but I don't know where to start 😔

hello!!!! this answer is going to get nerdy as hell look away. this is also going to be a lot of long, boring story time bc I like reminiscing abt this and i like talking and im painting a story of my journey!!!! but I will also try to give like semi-useful information at the end?? It's long so under the cut:

Thinking way way back to when i was a little kid doodling, the thing that got me most into it was manga/anime (i think this is evident in my style?). I think i was prob vaguely into drawing cuz of like, Sailor Moon, but I definitely remember the moment I REALLY got into drawing was when someone introduced me to Inuyasha (*fondly thinking of grade 2 elementary school*). I got obsessed with the manga, trying to redraw my fav scenes, eventually drawing the characters (well, just Kagome for the curious heehee) from memory. I did this for years. I got into other manga/anime and eventually started emulating those styles. I think the thing that must've really spurred me on, though, was finally being online and seeing what other people were drawing and being like, I want to be able to do that.

Reading a lot of manga is a lot easier online for obvious reasons; I consumed a lot. Meanwhile I continued looking at other artists' art. I got a tablet and drew. I really got into Smackjeeves (shout-out to anyone who remembers this site) and was super impressed that people were drawing their own characters and comics. I created my own characters (with the intention of drawing a comic someday. this will never happen but to this day I still draw and think/write about ocs I created like a decade ago!)!!! Eventually I found my own style. But obviously incorporated bits and pieces of what I liked/learned from other artists into my own art (i like the way this artist draws mouths, i like the way that artists renders eyes, let me try that. etc.). I really got into various pieces of media (which I won't name gasdfgd) and was really inspired to draw a lot of fanart, and post it to tumblr.

For various reasons I won't go into because they sound annoyingly self-deprecating, I never really had a lot of artist friends. But I joined twitter and finally made a few, and it was a lot easier to talk to people and be talked to on twitter (tags are so awesome I love reading every single one!! but it's much easier to reply to comments on twitter). they had cool ocs and cool art and like, for the first time ever people were commenting on my original art (which is a great feeling) and I spent a lot of time and effort developing ocs. Continued to get into various media and draw fanart.

Over the years, inevitably there have been times when I drew almost nothing at all (school kept me busy, or I just didn't feel like it) and stagnated or got worse. And there were times that I just like improved super quickly because I was drawing so much. And I was drawing so much because I was really inspired because I was so obsessed with whatever I was into at the time (whether that be a piece of media or my own ocs) and having fun.

So I hope the thread throughout this answer is at least somewhat clear. If your question is how to start drawing it's as simple as seeing something you like, picking up a pencil and trying to draw it. if your question is what's the fastest way to improve, draw as much as you can - it helps to find something you really, really like! You'll naturally want to draw a lot, and draw the subjects in all kinds of situations, and convey your ideas. Look at other peoples' art of the subjects. If you can, maybe find a few like-minded people. I can't give good advice about to how to get really technically good (I still can’t draw bgs, or very varied features, etc. Other people have said a million better things about it: do studies, etc. etc.) but like, being into something will essentially force you to search up references and get good at drawing various things. I used to be one of those people who drew characters with hands behind their back because I couldn't draw them. Then I became determined to draw them - looked at my own hands, practiced, looked at how other people drew hands. Now they're like my favourite thing to draw! I used to only draw individual characters facing 3/4 left lol - now I draw couples, etc. from different angles (or at least, I try to) because I wanted to draw my own ocs interacting, or characters I liked interacting. I got into various pieces of live action media, which forced me to try to translate real people features into my own style so the characters would be at least slightly recognizable.

There’s that one tweet that’s like “the best way to get better at drawing is to become some kind of pervert” <- so true.

I don’t know how useful this answer will be and sorry if it’s preachy! Reiterating: just like, find something you like. Draw it. Keep finding things you like and which inspire you, and draw those too. Definitely look at other art (different forms too! you’ll notice different things you like from paintings, or movies, or digital vs traditional, or comics) and learn and be inspired. Even when you’re not actively drawing, you can be improving just by observing things. (And remember that sometimes improvement won’t be immediately evident - maybe it’s just that it’s a bit easier for you to draw something; maybe you’ve gotten faster at something; the angle of the jaws you draw is just slightly more realistic; the colours you choose are more interesting. Also note that since you’ll be seeing your own art all the time you won’t really notice even the bigger differences unless you’re looking at the most recent art vs. art from like months ago.) The other thing, which I am super guilty of not doing, is think while you draw. I’m really bad about this and then look back at something and am like damn why’d I do that (for example, I’m really bad about remembering that the thing I’m drawing is 3D, and thinking about how things act in 3D while I draw). So then the next advice is look at your own art a bit after you make it and notice the things you like and what you’d do differently for your next piece. Learn from your own art. Try your best!!! Not everything you draw will be good. Sometimes you’ll try to draw and everything will suck - whatever! like, truly, no skin off your back. try again tomorrow

[the-firebird69]

Man SAVES Stranded Family 😳 // #from #movie

This kind of thing it starts happening in the same very soon they're saying it's very soon it was happening in the Midwest and it's going to happen in rural areas and these guys go out there and tons of them die

Hera

What's happening now and this particular scene and the earlier seeing happens in just a couple days and it is Garth and they refuse to pay a son with the old him if the government and personally they owe him a lot of money and their bastards in their mean and stupid they go through it and tons of those die violent deaths and horrible deaths and they still don't do a damn thing and think they're winning and a lot of people are trying to hit them all the time eventually they die and terrible deaths and then utter ignorance they're completely oblivious to what they've done to themselves and others. our son says in Garth was not really aware in westborough and he was just a child and he's still a child but mean.

Thor Freya

It's true in westborough you're the stupid kid you didn't know anything you can hardly speak you can hardly do your homework and you didn't know how to relate to people and he could not get along with you at all couldn't understand what you're saying it's like you're speaking of foreign language you just say yes or not and he couldn't do it is too annoying and your attitude was horrible at one point I said look I can't hang out with it with you you like a 12 year old child and stop calling me that's true too you said that and left and the guys are spoiled freak I started yelling it looks something else shut up Paul you idiot and you left it's not a big deal but really this guy is a s*** and so is Trump and they should never have any money and so damn dumb they don't do anything of value you should see how ridiculous this looks to the whole world this idiot marching around just would be president saying all the stupid really heinous stuff in the news and we should take it seriously he said he should be expelled from the race and a whole bunch of other stuff to shut them down is a huge massive loser and his people are just people are standing there waiting for the empire to take stuff it's really what it is Jesus Christ is he useless I'm tired of these freaks so feeling good and they just sit there they don't do anything and they should be arming themselves and they don't it's really stupid and they die a lot for Christ's sake is disgusting maybe happy when they're out

Mac daddy

We're doing the job and I'm doing it right and these people just quit and they're sick and they want to threaten this person here and the two in France and that's it that's their lives it's circle around them all day and they're stupid s****

Everyone's figuring out what DG has been doing he's threatening the two and it was a while ago it was 23 but it was in the spring and he started to try and get the second bike there what a f****** nightmare and now he's trying for the car it looks like he's going to move it all the way down and probably loses army and not care cuz he's an idiot he's the AI man because he's threatening the two okay they're stupid people and they're threatening him thinking they get stuff and he's beating the living s*** out of them and his forces are taking their stuff it's so God damn obvious and stupid and BG is threatening him so he's going to hit on him and right now and he knows what you're doing all day long you just suck at it and you don't know computer stuff either you're an idiot we don't know what that well but holy s*** you stupid people are so God damn tell him we're all going to get hurt and I hear you so I'm going to shut you down you piece of s*** and Trump what a f****** joke you two are

Mike tew

Onto other things but wow these people suck

Thor Freya

Olympus