#is it shitty to assume that gay folks and straight folks are on the same end of 'rigidness' in their 'inability to think outside the binary?

[orpheuscas]

this take is probably going to get me cancelled but. and i’ll start this off by saying that i do not think bi folks are any less queer and i do not generally have a problem with bisexuals referring to themselves as gay. but the “the thing about being bisexual is that no matter who i fuck/kiss/date/whatever, it’s gay” thing pisses me the fuck off because literally No It Isn’t. if you are a cis bi woman dating a cis man (bi OR straight) (or vice versa), YOU are still queer, obviously, but you are not in a gay relationship. you aren’t. and if you’re hurt by that, i’d ask you to take a long hard look at WHY that label is so important to you. inclusion in the community? sure, you’re already included by virtue of you yourself being queer. you don’t need to be in a gay relationship for that to be true. or is it just because you want the cool points that come with being read as queer? you enjoy when people assume you’re in a same-sex relationship? you think it adds allure? fuck off. i am in a very healthy and loving and happy lesbian relationship and it is also the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me because of the intense homophobia we’ve dealt with. i don’t think trauma is a prerequisite for being able to call yourself gay, that’s obviously absurd, but i do think that calling your cisgender opposite-sex relationship gay when you still get to reap all the same benefits as a straight couple is just so deeply shitty

[broe-v-wade]

oh goodie, i see “the peak of humanity is when everyone is bi and sexuality is inherently seen a fluid and anyone slightly upset about this is just addicted to binaries <3″ discourse is being revived

[none-gender-left-man]

Let's talk LGBTQ+ erasure in the Marvel Fandom

Mischaracterization in fandom is a big problem, and it's something we see from every fanbase. A character gets boiled down into a few condensed traits and their nuance is washed out and forgotten. Fanonization isn't always inherently bad, and can lead to fandom solidarity and representation through headcanon, and this can sometimes eventually have influence on canon, which can be seen in the Homestuck fandom, where eventually slash pairings that received enough attention became endgame romantic pairings (Dave and Karkat, Rose and Kanaya, etc.). Of course I'm not here to discuss Homestuck today, I'm here to discuss the Marvel fandom and its toxic dudebro fans, as well as related topics that intersect with this issue. 

There's a common mischaracterization problem in the Marvel fandom, particularly in relation to queer relationships and characters. 

First example is Deadpool. Wade Wilson is described by his canon writers and creators to be omnisexual or pansexual, or of an otherwise fluctuating and open sexuality. The Deadpool video game wildly mischaracterized Wade and even made him behave in some homophobic ways, acting grossed out by men and homoerotic implications. This was jarring for me as someone who has read his comics and knows for a fact that Wade has multiple emphasized crushes on or at least attraction to other male characters, such as Spider-Man, Thor, Cable, and others. The game was very popular despite this mischaracterization and created a condensed fanonized Deadpool that is made into nothing more than an ultraviolent oversexualized joke, despite his character being the epitome of coping humor and having a very tender and compassionate side to him. It's known in the comics that Wade uses his humor to cope with his severe trauma, this doesn't mean he is just comic relief. This has gotten consistently worse since the Deadpool films. (I'm looking at you, shitty Wal-Mart DP t shirt that shows Wade holding a sign that says "oh I'm sorry did I offend you?" Which is really OOC imho)

Many of the more hypermasculine fans of Deadpool seem to have this false image of him being the epitome of "offensive humor" when in reality his trademark is Metahumor, not going out of his way to be a dick to people. These fans also often either ignore or aren't aware of Deadpool not being straight, portraying him as thirsting after buxom ladies but forgetting his openly admitted male attracted orientation which is just as obvious if you're not actively ignoring it. This is a grave mistake that takes so much from his character, especially in the case of the Deadpool/Spider-Man team up comics. 

In that span of issues Wade went through an entire moral transformation, molding himself and his moral compass to earn the respect of Spider-Man, while unable to go more than a few pages without flirting with him. The things Wade goes through in order to Do the Right Thing by Spider-Man in any other story would be considered romantic. If a man did this much for a woman in a narrative of course no one would question the romantic subtext, but because it's two men, half of the fanbase has a kneejerk reaction to this concept and swear that Deadpool flirting is a joke. (Or that it's just "Bromance")

Yes, because apparently a man being attracted to a man has to be a joke. /Sarc

Wade and Peter are even canonically shown to be "heartmates" and this still isn't enough for the erasure to end, and ultimately I think this is because the fans guilty of this either didn't read the Deadpool comics and only know the movie or game, or they chose to read the comics through a straight washed lense, assuming all "gayness" is a joke.

It's made prominently clear in Deadpool/Spider-Man that Wade is probably in love with Spidey based on his actions, and truly every single interaction with him leaves more evidence to support this idea, especially when you look at his relationship with Shiklah and how not-good it was in comparison to his much healthier dynamic with Peter. Even with the knowledge of the ridiculous Peter Parker Policy (that states Peter Parker must always be portrayed as a straight white man in canon despite him being the embodiment of the underdog), one cannot deny Wade is attracted to Peter canonically. The only thing in the way of them being a pair is that they're both men and Marvel is too cowardly to make one of their most famous and family oriented characters queer, and that fans who aren't queer actively ignore the obvious subtext and narrative value of the Wade/Peter dynamic in the comics. Marvel has doubled down on this with the MCU by making Peter Parker WAYYYYY younger than Wade than he actually is in the comics (don't ship MCU spideypool folks, that's gross. Comics only. MCU Spider-Man is far too young even at 18), making it now impossible for us to see this dynamic on screen, because they're only capable of giving queer representation when it comes with an R rating, apparently (and they really didn't do that w Deadpool either tbh they stated that he's pansexual in some trailers but never showed much queerness in the films at all, even with Ryan Reynolds wanting to focus on Wade having a boyfriend at some point, it hasn't come to fruition bc Marvel is too scared to lose their rabid straight fans).

The same erasure can be seen in Venom, in relation to Eddie Brock and his undeniably queer relationship with the genderless, masculine presenting alien living in his body. 

Eddie and Venom are portrayed and referred to as if they're married, Venom himself states that their bond is equivalent to a marriage, and Eddie calls Venom "love". Yet again, this is ignored by edgier straight fans who refuse to see the blatant truth about the characters. 

Venom drops everything to be with Eddie, his purpose in life itself. He chooses Eddie over his biological purpose and has repeatedly been shown to do ANYTHING to stay with him, never wanting to be apart from Eddie. 

After the release of Venom 2018 this relationship is receiving spotlight again, but not without pushback. Many fans seem to have the impression that this relationship is fan generated and accuse shippers of "hamfisting gay shit into everything" when in reality they're the ones hamfisting straightness where there is none, and erasing the canon in order to fit their personal interpretation, the very thing they accuse queer fans of doing. The same thing happens with Spideypool, with Stucky, with Symbrock, with Loki and Venom's nonbinary genders, with every LGBTQ+ hero or character in Marvel this can be seen as a pervasive problem. The elitist nerds who go out of their way to delegitimize other fans are often the least fluent in the source material they claim to defend.

This is both a result of toxic fandom, and of badly managed representation on the part of Marvel as a company. I'm by no means an authority on all things Marvel, but as a queer fan of Marvel properties, I feel this needs to be said.

[scriptlgbt]

I’ve asked this elsewhere, but I want to cover all my bases: Me and another blogger are in the process of writing a story, and one of the main male characters has flashbacks from a recent abusive relationship, which was with another man. Is there any way we can show this without negatively stereotyping all gay relationships? As a note: all but one of the main characters are on the LGBTQ spectrum, and there is a canonical gay relationship that’s the complete opposite of the one I described above.

TW: Intimate partner violence, details relating to it.

This will be under a cut, because my response will involve more details, including describing specific real-life dynamics and experiences related to this.

I would appreciate if this specific post were NOT reblogged, to help protect the safety of those whose stories go into this response.

These are some general things that characterize the way I think about it, and issues I've faced with it that you may want to consider.

It's extremely difficult to come forward about abuse within the community. With some people, they may come forward to police. With people in the communities I'm part of, we have a sort of whisper network. Things like just normal word of mouth, talking with friends, but also private Facebook groups and things like that.

We are significantly more likely to take people for their word on these experiences, because we, more often than the periallocishet community, know what it's like to survive horrific abuses and not be believed. The issue with this, is that abusers who are in our communities and immersed in them, know these dynamics, and some find manipulative means of flipping the script and making their victims out to be abusers.

I have an anecdote from a friend (shared with permission, read over and fact-checked) on this sort of thing. (Put in an indent so folks can skip past it.)

My friend was in an intimate partnership with another queer person and there was a lot of abuse in that relationship. There were witnesses to this abuse (mainly two, also queer -- a roommate and a friend who visited for a little bit, but didn't know a lot of people locally in the community), and things related to it that were easily logged. Things like posts online, texts, social media messages.

Both my friend and their abuser had pretty heavy mental illness, and there were some other factors that made it hard to immediately recognize the relationship as abusive, like boundary communication being assumed to be a language barrier. (Although "no" was the same word in both my friend and their then-partner's native language, these things can feel easy to dismiss when you're right in them.)

A common thing the abuser did was react extremely poorly to boundaries being made. Sometimes my friend would be having a particularly hard time trying to get boundaries communicated to land, so they would eventually decide it was easier to part ways and have time to themself. Trying to make boundaries big enough for their partner to see was basically what this tactic was, and it didn't bode well for them. Because the partner would basically shut down mentally and be a suicide risk (not explicitly threatening, but repeating past patterns of behaviour for this sort of thing) for the next while, sometimes being unresponsive to texts and so on over the course of days. My friend would have no way to check in on them and felt coerced into taking back the boundary (they didn't, and it probably wouldn't have done anything anyway).

I think a lot of people of privilege tend to do things like call cops for "wellness checks" for this kind of thing. This is something a lot of marginalized people can't safely do, for one, and for another, it's not a thing anyone with any morals at all should be doing, anyway. IMO. Both my friend and their then-partner/abuser both had trauma related to the police, especially surrounding mental health. It just wasn't an option. (I wish I could link a transcript if one existed - but I rec looking up the You're Wrong About podcast episode for Kitty Genovese for this. It's graphic, but it does talk about how Kitty Genovese being a lesbian, and there being other gay neighbours in the witnesses, that plays into why people "didn't call the police" --- the police also later used her identity to claim that being a lesbian puts you more at risk for being murdered by a serial killer or whatever.)

Anyway. When my friend finally got out of the shitty relationship, the ex would make up lists of things that they had done to my friend, only, they claimed that my friend did that to them. For a long time, even up to 6 years after the fact, they would stalk my friend and get in contact with people that they interacted with to claim that my friend had done these things. There was one point my friend was convinced into not actually coming forward about anything anymore because their abuser had made a bullshit promise that they would stop spreading lies if only my friend never came forward. It was really gross. It didn't matter in the end that my friend kept a file filled with screenshots from all the sockpuppet accounts and IP addresses matching, it didn't matter that they had texts threatening my friend's pet. Because the abuser "came forward" first, grooming character witnesses.

My friend was further alienated and would find themselves blocked on social media and kicked out of spaces they needed as a survivor of intimate partner violence.

The moral of the story is not that we should *not* immediately believe survivors. We should believe survivors.

But:

- There is a difference between justice, and punishment.

- Transformative Justice, Restorative Justice, and similar, are things that we need to invest in setting up procedure for as communities. Community desire for justice requires actual justice, not just skipping straight to what is sentencing-adjacent. Carceral “solutions” do not actually uproot the sources of injustice nor do they commit to doing anything to facilitate healing in people harmed.

- People are not things to throw away easily, and we need to actually make efforts to understand the needs of survivors.

I may try and fill in an example of how TJ or RJ can happen later, but I advise doing research for this on your own. There is a police abolitionism textbook I’m forgetting the name of which provides examples of how people use community-based solutions for conflict outside of the justice system.

I do need to note that this isn’t a venue for this topic to be explored well. I just wanted to give a glimpse into how these things have come into communities that I am in and alternatives to the justice system, especially as people who are often targeted by police.

- mod nat

[mourntheantagonist]

Have it Your Way

HWOL Day 2 Prompt: Overstimulation

Rating: E

Word Count: 4.2k

warnings for referenced underage sex with adults and homophobic language

read on ao3

Billy was always seeking out just a fast and easy release. A quick fuck in an alley outside or blowjobs in the bathroom stalls with whatever guy was eyeing him at the other side of the bar. Usually just two closet cases out for the night to earn the sweet release they were desperate for before they performed the same walk of shame back to their shitty lives in their heteronormative world, hitting on girls and becoming overcompensating womanizers.

At least that was the case for Billy Hargrove. Forgoing feelings and foreplay for the feeling of a cock in his ass as he’s fucked senselessly into a brick wall next to trash filled dumpsters, but only smelling the rich scent of cheap cologne and sweat. A much preferred alternative to the delicate fragrances and cleanliness he was supposed to enjoy. The perfume that always made the dissociation and imagination wear off when he was fucking girls at parties in the host’s parents bedroom, making sure partygoers heard the moans and groans to keep up appearances. Have a reputation like Billy’s and nobody would ever question his early departures. Nobody ever knew what he did for the after party.

California was easy. Getting his hands on a guy who just wanted to fuck was as simple as walking three miles to whatever run down gaybar that would let the pretty underaged boy in through the doors with just the flash of his devilish smile. He never walked home empty handed, just the signature limp of someone who took it a little too rough that night. Men twice his age were always buying him drinks and flirting with him at the bar, he could have anyone he damn well pleased. It was easy, simple, and honestly super fucking convenient. Free booze followed by a no strings attached hook-up with his pick of the litter. No names were exchanged, rarely even words at all. Just telling movements of the eyes and sounds of heavy breathing and moaning that echoed alongside others who found their way into the men’s room. Two, or even three pairs of feet seen underneath the gap of each stall. Panting and releasing expletives as the doors rattled from bodys that were slammed against locked doors.

California was easy.

Indiana was not.

Especially not Hawkins of all places. One bar in the entire town that was most certainly not his kind of bar. No clubs no anything. Release wasn’t three miles away anymore, it was a hundred miles away. But that was Neil’s plan all along wasn’t it? Drag his no good queer son across the country to the most conservative town he could find on the map, where if there even were gay people around they were so far deep into the closet they couldn’t even see daylight.

But there had to be somebody right? There had to be someone. Else Billy might completely explode. Already beginning his reputation building by fucking the first girl who showed interest in the backseat of the Camaro in the school parking lot. With no quickie in a back alley to follow it up, he was left keyed up and desperate and his hand and a mag could only do so much before he completely lost his mind.

Especially when people like Steve fucking Harrington existed. Back in California he never let himself look at another classmate like that. They were off limits. He had the means he needed there and didn’t need to steal looks in the showers or get a little too handsy during gym. But that’s all he’s got. All he had was the glorious feeling of his dick rubbing up against Steve’s ass in tight green shorts as he boxed him out, and the stolen glances of his soft dick as water cascaded down his body and dripped from the tip. Manifesting his entire will to keep his dick down and tamed while he burned the whole sight into his long term memory. Saving it for his sock later.

Billy was correct to assume Hawkins, Indiana wasn’t like California. It was quiet and quaint, but he was wrong to assume he’d entered the land of purity. Small town folks were just as freaky as the people living it up in the city, they were just more quiet about it. Playing the long game to pick up on certain traits and actions before making a move because house parties weren’t gay bars where everyone was already on the same page. It was a game of needle in a haystack. And Billy guesses he finally put out enough clues to be found.

By Steve fucking Harrington of all people.

What Billy didn’t yet realize when he was cornered into an empty bedroom at some random junior house party was that Steve may have found his needle in a haystack, but Billy, he had struck gold.

The door was slammed closed by the force of Billy’s weight as Steve gripped the collar of his shirt and pushed him back against it. Lips slamming into his with bruise inducing force that had Billy almost sinking to the floor. Breath caught in his throat and his only reaction was to pull Steve’s body in closer by the tug of his belt loops so he could feel the dick he so perfectly memorized pressed up against his own through multiple layers of clothing. His jeans were already growing tighter and it hadn’t even been a minute.

How was he already this damn hard?

And now Steve had felt it and it was his own damn fault that he did.

“Already huh?”

Instead of trying to hide it, he just pulls his hips even closer and jerks his pelvis forward against Steve’s. Snaking a hand around to grab at Steve’s ass through his jeans, imagining he was wearing those same little green shorts he wore during P.E.

“Are we gonna do this or not?” Billy asked, in a deep and husky voice, noses nearly touching, eyes half lidded.

“Oh we’re doing this, but we’re doing this my way.”

His way? Well count Billy as intrigued.

“I’m versatile if that’s what you want to know.”

Steve huffed out a laugh and twisted a finger into Billy’s curls.

“Oh I already know you can take, I wasn’t worried about that.” Billy eyed him, wondering exactly what vibe he gave off to make that something he was so sure of. Instead of questioning it for long, he let his hand snake back around to the front of Steve’s jeans and tug down at his belt buckle, leading Steve to grip him by the wrist and pull his hand away.

“Not so fast. My way.”

“Well fuck pretty boy, get on with it then.”

He expects Steve to pull him back away from the door, secure the lock, and toss him onto the strangers bed. All mean and rough just like what he was used to. Completely have his way with him, take his ability to walk and leave him there naked on the bed as he recovered. And he would be completely happy with that. Elated even. Just another hook-up like all the others.

What he doesn’t expect is for Steve to start kissing him again. A hand cradling his jaw as he slowly moves his lips against his, a striking change from his little introduction. This one was soft and gentle and completely unlike any kiss he’s ever had before. The closest comparisons that came to mind were the ones with girls and those were different in the fact that this one in particular was actually enjoyable. And he allowed himself to enjoy it. Allowed himself to take part in something he never had the chance to receive. A solid lead up, the full exposition and rising action instead of skipping straight to the climax. It was weird and foreign but not totally unpleasant.

He could honestly do this for hours if he wasn’t so painfully hard and so desperately impatient. Each effort made to pull away or snake a hand down Steve’s pants or even just touch himself was met with a quick slap on the wrist, until Steve finally got tired of that and pinned Billy’s hands above his head, thumbs digging into his wrists. Immobilizing him. Continuing working away at him with only the use of his lips. Tongue moving like it was on some kind of exploration. Mapping the geography that was Billy’s mouth.

Finally, after what seems like a goddamn eternity, Steve’s lips separate from his. Now they can get to the good stuff. The real reason they were here.

Except he goes back in, this time passing up his lips to instead begin sucking on his neck. Billy’s starting to get sick of these surprises.

Hickies. Something else he’s never received. Never had someone’s lips find their way to the most sensitive part of the area and suck harshly enough to leave a bruise. He couldn’t let that happen anyway. Couldn’t leave any physical evidence behind that Neil could grasp onto. But this situation was different. Neil might even see the hickey and be proud because Hawkins Indiana didn’t have any faggots like him. Must have been a girl right? But it wasn’t like anyone had really even tried to do that back in California. The guys he hooked up with didn’t do any of this. It was different but not necessarily a bad kind of different. Nobody had ever so much as kissed his neck, most certainly never taken skin between teeth and bit down. Not like Steve just fucking did.

Billy physically convulses and stifles a moan with the bite of his own lower lip. Feels as the sensation travels from where Steve’s teeth came in contact all the way down his spine making him almost whimper before Steve finally competes dragging his teeth and has let go.

“You like that huh?” Steve whispers into the crook of his neck. Breath hot against the dampness that coated his neck from the combination of Steve’s saliva and his own sweat. He’s almost positive that he’s leaking precome into his jeans right now because no interaction he’s ever had has lasted this long. He’s never kept his pants up for such a length of time and it’s starting to become too much. Not sure how much of that is Steve’s credit, and how much is the credit of months of jerking off in the shower and forcing his way through another just-for-show encounter with the latest girl who hit on him. It was all building up inside of him, waiting for this moment and Steve really had the audacity to withhold that from him.

“God would you just fucking screw me already?”

Steve just moves back into Billy lips. Chins touching but not kissing him. Speaking the words into his open mouth.

“If you’re not enjoying yourself I can leave.”

No. Anything but that.

“Fine. We’ll do things your fucking way.”

“I’m glad we’re finally on the same page.”

Billy still didn’t fully understand what “his way” entailed, but he figured out soon enough that it had something to do with going slow. Agonizingly slow to the point his dick was absolutely throbbing and he found himself fighting against Steve’s continued hold on his wrists because he just needed to touch. Failing against Steve’s strength and moving on to plan B which entailed extending his hips forward against his thighs, rubbing up and down against the muscle under the denim.

“You’re really fucking impatient, you know that?” Steve says in response and it just occurs to Billy that none of this is affecting Steve the way it is him. He can feel he’s hard in his jeans as well yet he’s not on the brink of collapse like Billy.

But finally Steve does something that at the very least scratches an itch. Releases his hold on one of his wrists and with his own hand palms Billy’s crotch through his jeans. He doesn’t rub or gently squeeze, just lets the palm rest there and ever so slightly push against it and Billy is left to do the remainder of the work. Moving his crotch against Steve’s hand with a heavy release of a sigh. It only does what he needs for just a few short seconds before it starts to get uncomfortable again. He needs Steve to move his hand, do something other than just let it sit there completely still. And now there’s no holding back the whimpering and he’s about ready to resort to desperate pleas.

Steve’s hand leaves where it was cupping his excruciating hard dick and Billy’s learned by this point not to get his hopes up for anything. The hand moves upward and presses against where he stopped buttoning his shirt leaving his chest halfway exposed, finally some fucking skin to skin contact. Billy takes the opportunity with his free hand to finally grab at himself, and he’s more than thankful when Steve doesn’t pin it back up against the door. Instead Steve uses his own free hand to travel up the length of his chest until it finds the spot he was searching for. The spot that would send Billy absolutely reeling. Gently, the tip of one of his fingers brushes over an erect nipple and just the brush of contact makes Billy shiver. Responding to the reaction Billy produces by taking the nub in between his two fingers and pinching them together. Suddenly receptors are firing off like fireworks and his dick is twitching and he’s this close to coming in his pants from the combination of Steve’s excruciating idea of foreplay and the friction against his own hand.

“Shit Harrington I’m fucking close.” He breathes out. Chest heaving as Steve only tightens his grip. Smiles at him, no, smirks at him with raised eyebrows and he ever so slowly lowers himself with the bend of his knees. Then doing the fucking unthinkable. With his right hand he continues rubbing and pinching Billy’s left nipple, while Steve takes the right into his fucking mouth. Dragging and flicking his tongue against the tip before catching it in between his teeth, suddenly an area far more sensitive than his neck. He’s nearly done for. It was a lot.

He thought his problem was that he hadn’t been getting enough.

The problem was he was getting too much.

“Fuck, Steve!”

Billy was never a talker during sex, but right now it was getting harder and harder to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m gonna— fuck, shit Harrington!”

A tight squeeze to his left nipple paired with a wet suction to his right and the frantic humping of his own hand has him finally reaching his limit. Spilling his load into his own underwear coupled with the humiliating noise that escapes his body like a ghost.

That was typically where the night ended. He was rarely ever the first to come and even when he did, the other guy followed shortly after. But Steve wasn’t even close. Erection still very prevalent in the outline of his jeans. Billy had no idea what tricks Steve had beneath his sleeve.

Despite Billy literally creaming his pants, Steve doesn’t stop playing with his nipples, only finally releasing his hold on Billy’s other wrist that had been pinned above his head for practically the entire duration. Steve is so into what he’s currently doing like he derives pleasure from making others feel good. Which is extraordinarily hot, and Billy quickly starts to feel the same cock that was fucking throbbing just moments ago begin to chub up again.

So this was his fucking plan.

He seems very pleased with himself when he’s had enough with the nipple play and rises back up to his regular height to kiss Billy again. Deeply this time, inhaling his smell and taste and relishing in it.

“Now let’s have some real fun.” He says once their lips come to part from each other. By now Billy just accepts that Steve is the one in charge and follows his lead without pushback. Letting Steve guide his hands to his belt, finally giving him the permission to do what he’s been fucking aching to do since he stepped, or more accurately was dragged, through the bedroom door. Chaotically undoing his belt and yanking down Steve’s jeans and boxers simultaneously while Steve pulled his own tee over his head. His dick bobbing free, catching a glimpse of it hard for the first time. So much bigger than he’d remembered. And it’s hard for him.

He starts working at his own belt while Steve undoes the two fastened buttons of his shirt, despite being able to just as easily pull it over his head. Billy drops his pants to the floor, his dick is coated in his own come from his previous orgasm and he’s already more than half hard, earning a grin out of Steve when he looks down to see it.

“Bed.” Steve says, gesturing toward the California King. How fucking fitting.

Billy takes his naked body and lies out onto the bed, letting himself get comfortable. Head resting on a surprisingly soft pillow. Steve checks the lock on the door and reaches down into his jeans to pull out a small bottle.

“You just carry lube around with you to parties?” Steve laughs as he makes his way over to the bed. Crawling on top to where he’s situated in between Billy’s spread out legs.

“Never know when you might need it.”

“Yeah. Well I usually take my dicking rough.”

Steve wrapped a hand around each of Billy’s shins and moved his feet up the bed so that his knees were bent and his hole was exposed.

“Well rough isn’t really my style.”

“Yeah, I fucking noticed.”

Billy propped himself up on his shoulders as he watched Steve. Waiting for the click sound of the lube bottle opening, not expecting to see Steve’s face midway through a movement angling down. Hands bracing themselves against his bare hips, fingernails gripping and digging into the skin leaving crescent shaped indentations as Steve’s lips begin to suck on his inner thigh. His hair falling forward and brushing over his dick that was already getting harder by the second without Steve’s head between his legs.

How the fuck did Billy not know about all these sensitive areas of his? Secondly, how the fuck did Steve know about them?

His legs are fucking wobbling and he can’t contain the movement at all. He’s already gripping the sheets and Steve hasn’t even put a finger inside of him.

Something about the whole thing felt odd, and he was struggling to put his finger on it until he let his head fall back against the soft pillow.

This was the first time he’s ever taken a man to bed. He’s fucked and been fucked by countless nameless and sometimes faceless men, yet he’s never done it in the comfort of a private area, let alone a comfortable bed. The ideal place for such an activity.

However, Billy doesn’t get to think too long and hard about that before cold hands quickly spread his cheeks and the tongue that was just leaving bruises on his thighs is suddenly licking over his hole.

He tenses due to surprise and has to actually bite the pillow to stop himself from loudly moaning when the underside of Steve’s tongue trails back down. His tongue soon darting inwards and swirling around inside of him making him gasp.

Billy thought experience was something he had, easily.

Turns out there were a lot of things that he hadn’t felt before.

And Steve Harrington decided to just check off the whole goddamn list in one go.

He was completely hard by now and beginning to leak pre once again. The head of cock red, and throbbing in his ears.

Steve’s tongue feels good. Really fucking good but he is absolutely desperate to have his back fucking broken by the dick that’s been permanently ingrained in his head for weeks now. He’s fit to scream at any moment.

The glorious sound of a cap clicking open is what pulls him off of the edge of absolute insanity. Two fingers adorning a cool gel find his hole and slowly one of the fingers slips in with a comfortable ease.

As previously mentioned, this wasn’t Billy’s first time around the block. And apparently not Steve’s either, which Billy expected to have some follow up questions once everything was all said and done.

Steve’s single finger was quickly followed by the institution of a second. His index and middle surging knuckles deep inside of him and beginning to scissor open and closed, spreading the walls apart and opening him up for more. Opening him up for Steve.

Soon the second finger turns into a third. And while everything is progressing along much quicker than it was while he was pressed up against that door, it’s still way too slow for Billy. He’s refraining from wrapping his hand around his own dick just out of sheer curiosity to see what Steve wants to do. Fights the extremely tempting urge, instead propping himself back up on his shoulders so that his hands were occupied elsewhere.

Billy’s not sure whether he regrets the decision to look at Steve or not. Because as Steve spreads his fingers within him, he looks fucking ethereal. Hair strands falling perfectly into his face, mouth hanging open with his tongue slightly hanging out past his lips. A look of sheer focus. Beads of sweat constellating his forehead alongside the constellation of moles that decorate his entire body. He’s going to lose it again if Steve doesn’t fucking get on with it already.

It’s actually beginning to hurt with how much desire he has coursing through his veins and pooling into the head of his cock.

Too much. It’s too much.

Steve can see the look on his face, the aggressive scrunching of his face as he waits for Steve to finally destroy him with what he’s aching for. What has been haunting his every dream and moment alone in the shower.

The rising action was nearing its end, it was time for the climax of this story to begin.

Steve removed his fingers from Billy and ripped open a new condom with his teeth. Rolling it onto his own dick that is finally looking to be at the same point Billy’s is. Absolutely rock hard.

He presses the tip of his dick firmly against Billy’s hole and it’s as if time stops just before Steve makes his slow and steady entrance, and Billy’s breath hitches.

Steve’s own eyes fall shut as he begins pumping in and out slowly trying to find his rhythm, while one hand situates itself onto Billy’s thigh, while the other that’s already coated in lube wraps around Billy’s shaft and begins pumping his hand at an identical rhythm. Pacing perfectly matched with Billy’s own breathing. Chest heaving up and down with every pump of Steve’s hand around his dick and every slam into his prostate.

“I’m close Steve. Fuck! I’m close.” Billy grunts out. Steve just picks up the pace. The first time he’s done that all damn night. Rhythm becoming erratic with Steve’s own breathing following suit. Panting heavy exhales that hit Billy’s stomach with their heat making him shiver and shake.

The muffled music and chatter that’s occurring on the other side of the wall behind him completely goes silent in his head and all he can hear is Steve. His breathing and groaning as he gets closer and closer to his own climax and Billy begins to view it as a competition on who can last the longest.

But it’s already clear who would win that battle, isn’t it?

Surely enough, Billy lasts about another measly forty-five seconds before he’s coming into Steve’s hands and dripping out over his stomach.

But like most of his hookups before, it isn't long before Steve is bottoming out and filling up the condom within Billy. Letting out his own hefty moan upon release. Letting his head toss backwards and his hair flip back out of his face and he could honestly get hard again if he wasn’t literally trying with all of his might to do anything else.

Steve eventually toppled over and fell onto the bed, lying on his back right beside Billy as they both looked up at the same ceiling fan and came down together.

“That was fucking something.” Billy said, finally catching onto his breath and reentering reality.

“Yeah, that was fun. I’m looking forward to next time.”

“Next time?” Billy turned his head so that he was looking at Steve.

“Yeah. You owe me an orgasm.”

Billy looked at him incredulously.

“You didn’t cum?”

“No, I did. But I didn’t cum twice.”

Billy playfully pushed his shoulder with three fingers. “That’s your own damn fault, you know that.”

“Are you turning the offer down?”

Billy smiles, takes advantage of the fact that he can kiss Steve and he does, rolling over on top of him and planting a short and wet one right onto his lips.

“No.”

Billy watches Steve walk out of that room approximately ten minutes later, leaving him naked and alone on the bed just like he expected, except this time, there’s hope for more.

[theliterarywolf]

Oh I've HEARD of the super straights thing, I think it started on TicTok this 16 yr old said he only wants to date biological women and not trans women which.....not the best way to explain it yeah but my god are people taking the matter way too seriously so some uh radical gen zs decided to send his mom death threats and now it's a new # on the damn bird app fulla kids with shitty attitudes not knowing what troll bait is plugging their trash friday night funkin fan art

But like fr if someone doesn't wanna date a trans person I dont think they should automatically be assumed as a transphobe like damn, hell my friend is FTM but he refuses to date MTF as well

Anon said:

With the whole super straight thing yoi should totally watch Blair Whites video talking about this topic she makes very valid points

Just going to wrap these tweets together. 

The thing isn’t ‘oh, if you don’t want to sleep with a trans person, you’re a bad person’. People have preferences; not every person is attracted to every body.

It’s this bizarre hyperfixation of ‘Oh, I only date real women/real women!’ that make people look in and say ‘you’re sounding kind of transphobic right now, ngl’.

And, again, this is nowhere near the same as me saying ‘oh, a gay guy who likes big, meaty cocks should suck it up and date a trans guy’ or ‘women who specifically like Taco Tuesday need to be more open minded’. You don’t have to date or sleep with anyone you don’t want to. Trying to insist otherwise is dickish and trying to enforce ‘you aren’t a real man/woman’ under the guise of ‘well, I’m just trying to say what I’m attracted to’ is also kind of dickish -- which is what anyone sincerely trying to use ‘Super Straight’ as an actual thing is. Just respect people as people, man; why is this hard for some folks?

[littlemisschameleon]

Mini "Im not really cis anymore and that comes with a bunch of new weird things that I didnt realize before" rant under the cut

Aight so I use she/they pronouns right? Not a single clue what my gender is anymore. I vary between demi girl, nonbinary, genderfluid, gnc woman, and even some days just saying cis female is easier/a force of habit.

And what Im realizing comes with that, is that its a lot harder to be authentically you 24/7 and to everyone you ever meet.

Like, I was playing a game last night, right? And I met this random girl in a game and I thought she was cool, and I wanted to tell her something along the lines of "in the most homosexual of ways, ily youre great" bc I wanted to clarify "hey! Im not a dude! pls find this less creepy!"

I ended up not doing that, because I thought the wording could be taken as a gay man saying it platonically. How could I have fixed that? Clarifying I was a girl. Cept, thats not really 100% true anymore, isn't it?

And this keeps happening! My friends younger sister asked if Alex was a girl or guy the other day, and all I could return with was a shrug. Idk man! Girl is closer, but also not true!

Then comes the conundrum of whether or not I want everyone who ever knows me to know my gender identity, bc in so many ways that can backfire and cause more trouble then its worth, but also I feel like Im lying otherwise.

Its so much easier to be yourself, it feels like, with your sexuality. Like, Im bi, and its so easy to correct people when they call me straight. Also, it rarely happens! I dont feel the need to be out at every turn!! Genders not like that.

Idk I guess I never really understood how draining it can be to question your gender identity. Like, in theory I knew, but reality is so much stranger. Everywhere you turn people are using gender identifiers, and im sure its so much safer and easier for trans ppl to just let strangers assume what they want, but at the same time how shitty is that to be misgendered constantly? And for folks who are questioning their genders, like me, we gotta get reminded of our gender fuckery way too often.

No wonder trans ppl say they feel like a weights been lifted when they come out, this shit sucks. Im sorry if this all comes across as like, ignorant. In theory I knew, ppl get told about this stuff all the time, but its so different once youre experiencing it yourself

[crypteddy]

Controversial Thoughts On (thoughts on) TAZ: Amnesty Finale

Hey y’all. I know this is coming out of left field because I post original content approximately never? But here's the thing. I am Heated about this. So sit down and listen for a hot minute, will you? 

The epilogue got a little... controversial, shall we say? And I just want to take a moment to share my very passionate and very heated take on the whole thing.

Of course, TAZ Amnesty finale spoilers below, so don’t read if you haven’t finished the episode yet (or do I’m not your mom but I did warn you).

Y’all already know what this is gonna be about, but I’m gonna say it anyways: Duck and Minerva, dating, as a concept. There are a lot of people who like it. There are a lot of people who really don’t like it. There are a lot of people who are just kinda stuck in the middle along for the ride (hi that’s me).

But Jay, you might say, if you don’t have a strong opinion on it, how are you going to write an entire text post about it.

Welcome To My Essay, Kids. Buckle The Fuck Up Yo.

I think most of us can agree that Duck’s relationship with Minerva came out of left field. When it happened, I kinda had a “what the fuck??” moment, but then Justin gave his lil speech and the boys agreed with it, so I went with it. And then I started thinking. Minerva appeared to Duck when he was 18 years old, right? But we don’t know how old Minerva is. She could be around Duck’s age. But here's the thing: she was appearing to Leo long before that. Therefore, she’s significantly older than Duck is. Red flag, right? Maybe not. She is an alien, after all. We don’t know how ages work on her home planet, how that correlates to aging on Earth. For all we know, relative to their lifespans, they could be at around the same place in their life. Does that make their relationship okay? I’m not going to draw conclusions on that one, because honestly I don’t know. The people who ship them are valid, and the people who are a lil uncomfy about them being shipped are also valid.

I’ve seen someone (maybe a few people? I’m not sure) say that this relationship between Duck and Minerva really made them remember that the show is run by 4 cis, straight, white guys because Justin forced a romantic relationship between Duck and Minerva. Let’s take a hot minute to unpack that, shall we? First off, the show is run by 4 cis, straight, white men. That can mean everything in this day and age, but here in the space of The Adventure Zone, it means NOTHING. In this arc alone, we have a cannon gay pairing with one person being bisexual, a notoriously underrepresented and often incorrectly represented minority, a noon-binary character who didn’t die or face discrimination for who they are and instead absolutely thrived in the atmosphere, people of all different ages and skin colors... The representation in this show is AMAZING y’all, not only for a group of cis heterosexual men. Back to Duck and Minerva, though. I feel like saying that Justing forced a relationship in between Minerva and Duck, especially with the add-on that the show was cis and heterosexual, makes it seem like Duck HAD TO BE GAY. Controversial opinion: no gender or sexuality should ever be forced onto someone by someone else. Straight people should not force gay people to be straight. Reversely, it is JUST AS SHITTY for gay people to force straight people to be gay. Now, Duck’s sexuality was never explicitly talked about. I’m not saying this means that we should’ve assumed straight OR that we should’ve assumed gay. He is a fictional character. All ships are open and good as far as I’m concerned. But at the end of the day, I don’t think it’s cool to say “I hated the epilogue because Duck and Minerva were forced into a relationship that I as a listener did not see.” Justin outlined his thoughts on why it made sense to him. Griffin, the GM, agreed. It was added to the story. The end. Do not pass go. Do not collect $100. It isn’t our story, it’s theirs. In my opinion, you have No Right to be pissed off that Duck and Minerva became a thing. Uncomfy? Not quite into it? Lost entirely? That’s fine my dude go ham. But saying that it ruined the finale is a bit much.

Another thing that I’ve seen is that some people think making Minerva Duck’s girlfriend turned her from a Funky Fun Fresh Cool Fuck U Up Hero to just Heroes Girlfriend. I cannot stress this enough, I WILDLY DISAGREE WITH THIS. First of all, no relationship is gonna strip Minerva of her Funky Fun Freshness, and it’s also not going to strip her of being a warrior. Do I think over time she will become less of a warrior? Yes, absolutely. But not because of her relationship with Duck (this is a totally different and much shorter essay please feel free to DM me if you want to hear about it). The epilogue made it explicitly clear that she was still just as much of a kick-ass warrior. She wouldn’t be making battle plans with Leo and Dr. Sarah Drake if she weren’t. The only people stripping Minerva of her Minerva-ness and turning her solely into Duck’s GirlfriendTM are the fans.

Let’s move on to something else people disliked for a hot minute: the very ending, where the gang got back together again. I’ve seen some salty people say that, although they realize that Amnesty and Balance are wildly different stories, in Balance we got the wedding where everyone was together and happy and it was really cool and fun and that they were salty that didn't happen in Amnesty and that the reunion was only a few minutes long. Here’s the hot take, folks: it was not needed, nor was it required, to wrap the story in a nice little bow. Thacker got his epilogue. Aubrey got her epilogue. Duck, however controversial, got his epilogue. You know who didn’t get an epilogue? Ned Fucking Chicane. He was a major character that we as fans loved and lost, but you have to remember that the characters are well-rounded three-dimensional entities inside of the story of The Adventure Zone. They never got a chance to mourn Ned’s passing. It happened, and they fought a battle, and then the mountain was split, and then the FBI came, and then it was Finale Time Babey. This was the time for them to celebrate and mourn Ned for everything he did for Kepler and everything he did for Sylvain. The reunion was a nice touch, but it was never about the other characters. At the end of the day, that bit was about and will always be about Ned. 

Let me take a second to wrap things up. I may have said some things you agree with. I may have said some things you don’t agree with. That’s fine. But remember a few things: A) The boys are human beings who are not perfect and who never will be perfect. If you think that they made a mistake in the epilogue, that’s your opinion. Don’t let it sully your overall views of Amnesty’s story or of the boys as people, because that would be shitty. B) This is THEIR story that THEY’RE sharing and we’re just listening to it. Headcannon things all you want, but at the end of the day, they have the final say. They have insight into the characters that we will never have. Also, it’s plain and simple just not our story. I mean, to some extent it has been given to us, but it is and will always be Their Story.  C) This is it folks. My final say. To let your whole opinion of the episode or the story or just the epilogue be spoiled by things that happened in the epilogue? I find to be. Ridiculous. The things that happened in the episode happened. Now they’re cannon. That’s it. End of story. Again, you can disagree with them, you can say “I didn’t ship that,” you can be a little uncomfortable with the age gap. But you cannot say “the boys didn’t write a good story and here’s why.” You cannot say “my ship is better and more accurate and here’s why.” Most importantly, you cannot negate all of the other good that the McElroy brothers have done in their podcast because of one relationship that you didn't agree with.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. If you made it to the end I love each and every one of you. I love you even if you didn’t make it to the end of this, but you’ll never know, and that’s on you my dude.

[yelloskello]

i fucking hate the stag/doe - butch/femme thing. I hate it. I hate that we are explicitly told that we’re not allowed to use these terms, and for what? I went a’googling to see what lesbians were actually saying in regards to why they’re lesbian-exclusive, read the arguments straight from the horse’s mouth, and it amounts to this:

TERFs (and no, I do not mean lesbians = terfs, I mean it is TERFS who came up with this) straight-up believe that bi women and trans women just weren’t there in our history. They say that butch and femme carry the weight of a painful history and fighting for our rights in the words, and that when anybody but lesbians use the terms, they’re putting it on like a fancy dress and calling it an aesthetic.

As if bi women and trans women just straight-up weren’t there for that history, too.

They argue that ‘nobody fights men to use phrases like bear/otter/twink!’ and quite frankly, i’m pretty fuckin’ sure bisexual men and/or trans men can happily use those terms, too, so shitty argument there pal. 

So they kick us out of a history that we were actively a part of, and younger lesbians who want to do the right thing but don’t know the history of this argument latch onto it, and bisexual people... Within the last year... Create the terms stag/doe, since it’s evidently morally wrong to use terms that are part of our own history, but since we can experience the same kind of dynamics in our relationships, we need SOMETHING to describe them. And what do people say?

‘wtf this is so dumb/fucked up, this is just watered/down butch and femme, they’re literally the same thing, why would you make up new words to mean the same thing?’

because we experience the same goddamn thing, just because we like multiple genders doesn’t mean we always hop on “opposite” genders, we can have relationships with similar-gendered/nonbinary people, even outside of a relationship we are still part of the community, we still experience Gay Attraction, and it can still be part of our identity because we’re still LGBT+, but we’re not allowed to use those terms! We’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.

I hate the wave of separatism that we’ve gone through. I hate the idea that everything has to have shit exclusively for them, even if it has a history of being used by multiple sexualities. I hate that people think No Experiences Overlap Ever, when in truth, marginalized people (and I don’t mean just queer/LGBT+ people - I mean PoC, disabled folks, etc) have SO much more in common than anyone might ever think. Yes, some groups do have things that exclusively happen to them, as a white person i’m NEVER going to fully understand the struggle that brown and black people go through, there’s SO much i’m still ignorant to concerning that, i’ll never pretend all our experiences are exactly the same, but there are also at least some issues that I can strongly empathize with because I hear what they go through and can see similarities in the way i’m treated as an AFAB person or as a bi person or as a nonbinary person. A microaggression because you’re gay and a microaggression because you’re brown are both microaggressions, even if they’re presented in different ways, over different issues. Multiple groups are denied housing and jobs for their identities, even if it’s done quietly behind closed doors so the law doesn’t crack down on peoples’ bigotry. As a trans person I can feel the personal pain of my people being accosted in bathrooms by bigots, and I can look at how black people are assumed to be criminals by virtue of simply walking around in a store, and even though the issues are very different, I can see the similarities - we both are mistrusted by “””normal””” society based on hideous stereotypes - and I can feel for them, even if I don’t experience being assumed to be a criminal personally. I listen to them and I believe them not just because they’re fucking people who deserved to be listened to and believed, but because I have seen how general society treats people like me, so why should it be so hard to believe they could be treated like shit, too?

People think that our struggles are so fucking exclusive that they lose all empathy for other groups, thinking that the only people who have ever suffered are themselves. It’s always baffled me that LGBT+ people can be so fucking ignorant and racist and hateful when you think they’d be able to tap into their own hurt and understand that other people are being treated in similar ways because they’re ‘different’, too. But then again, LGBT+ people can barely understand how other subsets of LGBT+ people have struggled, so I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising. I think of how ace people can write a laundry list of things they personally experience, and other subsets will scoff and say ‘yeah as if we don’t go through that too’, completely fucking ignoring what that overlap means. Thinking that since they go through that, anybody else who reports that they might, too, are just Faking, or trying to steal the spotlight. How can people so completely lack empathy? Why are we not there for each other? Why do we not care about anybody else? Why can’t we recognize the same fucking pain we’re all going through, even if that same pain comes in different flavors, and try to be there for each other because nobody should have to go through what we’re going through?

Like, it’s a complicated issue. Like I said, yeah, groups do have stuff that effects them exclusively, and it can be frustrating to express unhappiness with something exclusive to your group and have people who clearly aren’t actually understanding what you’re going through say they can relate. But denying that there are any similarities at all just drives us farther apart when right now marginalized people desperately need the support of one-another. 

(I was gonna give bi people’s Double Discrimination as an example of that exclusivity, unwanted by communities on either side of the fence, since obviously lesbians and gays don’t experience that... But y’know who probably can empathize? Mixed race folks. Or folks with invisible disabilities. Or ANYONE who’s caught between both communities, not x enough for one and not y enough for the other.)

Speaking only of communities that I am personally in: in LGBT+ circles, separatism breaks up the subsets and causes infighting. In circles concerning disability and mental/physical illness, it isolates its members, denies them support, makes them feel like nobody truly understands, even people dealing with the exact same disability or illness, because symptoms can be so widespread and varied. Hell, even when dealing with our oppressors, separatism fails to actually try and change the views of the people oppressing us: i’d much rather have narratives where men are gentle, kind, feminine, loving, supporting, open to their emotions, and respectful permeating our culture, teaching young boys how to be as they grow, than narratives where men are just evil.

There’s a lot of gray area. There are people who have been so hurt by oppression that I do not blame them one bit for prescribing to a separatist narrative. But I mean in a general sense... I don’t want separatism to be pervasive. I don’t want it to be the mindset people automatically turn to regardless of what they’ve gone through. I want sympathy and support for the people who have been hurt, and I want the groups that have been doing the hurting to change. I want people to recognize the similarities between each other and be unafraid of empathizing and sharing.

The butch/femme and doe/stag thing is a result of separatism, and I can see where they get the idea for it - basically pulling the ideas of appropriation from communities of PoC telling white people not to appropriate their stuff - but they’re lashing out at the wrong people. When a white person appropriates locs, they’re seen by the public eye as being carefree, trendy, and cool, while black folks are still punished for wearing the same look that occurs naturally for them. When a white person puts on a war bonnet, they’re seen as being high-fashion and ‘exotic~~~’, while literally desecrating a sacred part of a culture they don’t belong to in any way, shape, or form. When a bi person calls themselves butch, they’re a part of the community that shares the exact same history, their histories are literally interwoven, and experiences extremely similar dynamics, at the very least, as lesbians. These are two very different things. Tell cis/straight people not to appropriate the terms, but remember, other LGBT+/queer people aren’t fucking cis/straight.

anyways this got way longer than I was expecting but shit, I got like 60 followers, who gives a damn what I say, right? peace.

[khakikyrie]

For a website that never shuts up about how important it is to not assume things abt people, ya'll are always ready to LEAP the fuck to conclusions.

I saw a post that someone made saying they wanted to die bc Jim Parsons is making a gay TV series, and then amended it like "OH he's gay lol it's fine" like first off u dumb idiot Jim Parsons has been out for YEARS. YEARS. But obviously you didn't know that and instead of being like "Oh cool" and looking into it your AUTO reaction was "lol this fucking straighty" when u didn't even KNOW what his sexuality was, clearly, jahdjshdh.

Ya'll do it in fandom CONSTANTLY, I can't tell u how many times I've watched OTHER QUEER PEOPLE call trans men, bi women, lesbians, queer folks of all types, cishets bc they assume everyone who isn't them and who they disagree with and who don't share their interests is straight and it's so fucking bizarre that a website that's constantly berating cishet people for assuming shit does the same fucking thing every day to the point of harassment. Like I've literally seen queer people have to argue with other queer people who won't stop calling them cishets. I had someone send me a nasty message calling me a gross straight person bc I drew /knife play art/. Like how can you scream at straight people about assuming things when you do the /same thing/ when it's about people you don't like/find cringey/don't agree with/etc?? It's like ppl who scream at creators, especially cartoon creators, for queerbaiting, when 90% of the time it's literally a team of mostly OTHER queer people trying their best to get rep in, but you're just. Assuming that they're straight ppl trying to screw you over, EVEN WHEN they tell you otherwise.

It's not productive. Coming to grips with your sexuality isn't like. Fucking easy for some people lol it took me YEARS, YEARS and even now I'm very uncomfortable being called anything that isn't queer. Getting that message was like being punched. All of my years of attempted self acceptance. All of my years of reflection and coming to grips with who I am and some random asshole on the internet tore a hole in that instantly bc they aggressively assumed and INSISTED I was something I wasn't. I felt sick over it for a week. I felt like a fake. Like I was a liar. It didn't matter that my first real crush was on a girl, or that I was attracted to girls, it didn't matter that I wanted a girlfriend, or that I sometimes had wavy feelings abt my gender. They were immediately irrelevant. It /hurt/. They decided who I was and TOLD me who I was and then demonized me for it. I don't fucking want people to feel that way. It sucks. It's garbage. Ya'll gotta stop. You have to stop assuming shit for the sake of a joke, for the sake of an argument, bc you want to be right or relatable or dunk on people you don't like. It's shitty. It doesn't solve problems. It isolates people even more. If you don't know, don't decide. Don't tell people who they are.

[h2odown]

20 Questions

I was tagged by @lesstalkingmorespanking 😊

Name: Taylor. Pretty common and boring in my opinion. I always felt like it was suited for someone else. For a long time when people would call it, it would take me a moment to realize they were trying to get MY attention.

Nicknames: I've had quite a few. The typical Tay/Tay Tay.. ugh. My one coworker calls me Taze. Some people call me by my last name. In elementary school certain friends called me Taybee (who knows why). Throughout my vocal classes I received "Tayrawr The Tiny Terror" usually announced as though I was in the WWE. There's "T", Boss, Tater Tots, etc. Pretty much anything lol. In high school some people called me Lights because I was in my "scene/emo" phase and sort of resembled her when she first came out.

Orientation: Straight, however people ask me/assume I am gay quite often for some reason. 🤷‍♀️

Nationality: Canadian Mutt. (Irish, English, Native American, Norwegian, etc)

Faith/Religion: I was raised Anglican. I dont really follow anything day by day but there are certain parts of various religions that I like. More so leaning toward having a moral compass and not being a shitty human being.

Hobbies: Reading/Writing, Singing/Performing Live Music, Anything Related To Animals. I was in the horse industry for 12 years but have been out of it for 2 years now.

Pets: 3 year old female Lurcher named Karou, 11 year old cat named Violet, Male ball python named Swayze, Female BCI named Miss Universe, Male BCI named Mr. Crowley. I have tropical fresh water fish. I used to have 3 horses.

Favourite Colour: Depends on the day but either Red or Purple.

Favourite Holiday: Halloween 🦇

Books: Sososo many to choose from.. but my favourite trilogy is the Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor.

Films: I'm bad at making lists of things I like.. but my all time favourite movie is Once Upon A Time In Mexico.

TV Shows: oh dear... Jessica Jones, The Office, Brooklyn 99, Punisher, Archer, Bob's Burgers, Disjointed, Black List, Flash, Agents of Shield, The Gifted... etc. I dont know lol I'm not picky.

Music: I love literally every genre of music out there. More so depends on the artist for me. Anything from Country, to Pop, to Classic Rock, to Metal, to Folk, etc. Some of my favourite artists are Beartooth, Starset, Pearl Jam, K Flay, Imagine Dragons, Tim McGraw, Alan Doyle, King 810, Architects, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Bif Naked, KO, Roger Clyne, Jason Lancaster... etc.

Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate: Coffee 100%. I drink triple triples. Dont @ me.

Favourite Meme: I honestly can't choose..

I want to live long enough to: See all of my loved ones do well in life. I want to see them start families and succeed in their career choice. I want to witness all of it. As for myself, each day that I'm still alive is a good one. I've been going through my own version of hell for quite a long time and just recently have started getting myself back together piece by piece. I'd like to one day be out of debt. I'd like to have my own home. I would love to have a family but I'm getting used to the fact that it might not be in my cards. I've yet to be tested but I'm quite sure I'm barren, and there is a lot of health issues on my mother's side of the family regarding reproductive organs and I already have ovarian cysts. Im the last girl on my mother's side that still has her uterus. If I ever find someone that actually wants to be with me, AND is a decent human being (finding both in the same person has been impossible for me), they may need to be okay with adopting, or already have had children with someone else.

Weird Obsessions: I dont think I'm obsessed with anything all that weird?

Random Fact: When I was 15, I broke my pelvis and my right wrist simultaneously.

Goals for 2018: to keep moving forward. Keep my head up. Pursue positivity and allow myself to love freely. Getting hurt is a part of life, and sheltering myself from it is unrealistic.

I dont really know who to tag so if any of my followers would like to answer these questions, feel free to do so and tag me! I'm always happy to get to know you.

[purplepingupenguins]

Let’s take a minute to discuss the homophobia and double standards in the Star Wars Fandom...

Okay, so, recently I made this post:

Which unsurprisingly got quite a few notes quite quickly. But also, was met with comments like these:

And as an lgbt+ person with chronic fatigue I'm pretty good at picking my battles and knowing when to not start drama, actually, that's a complete lie I will call you out on your shit no matter how shit I feel.

So, this is me calling out the homophobia in the star wars fandom. That's right kids, I'm calling you homophobic.

A special shout out to the folks who made this even possible @freddie-and-i-got-stayingpower @zeminon @natenko @brandong50

Firstly, I've seen a lot of things about how his sexuality isn't even hinted at so it's wrong to call him queer and I'm like.... huh??? So just because a character hasn't explicitly kissed or fucked another character of the same gender on screen then they can't be queer. And I know, you only care about lgbt characters when they do make out on screen so you can fetish them but that is a whole other issue.

90% if not more, of characters in media don't explicitly state their sexuality and because of that it's automatically assumed that they're straight and saying otherwise is forcing labels and a sexuality on them. News flash folks: if your adamant on making him het then you're forcing a sexuality on him too.

Yes, other than a lot of looks and subtext (flirting) nothing has actually been outright said that Poe has an interest in men. But also nothing has been said about him liking women either but you're all perfectly happy for Poe and rey to happen.

As the delightful first comment asked: why does it matter? Because Disney has never had a main lgbt+ relationship or character in movies before. 

Star wars, where people can wave around laser swords and fly spaceships but can't kiss a person of the same gender. 

Star wars claims to be progressive and at times, it has. Carrie Fisher was the first female character I ever saw pick up a gun and save herself. She was the first female character I saw that didn't need a relationship with a man to be complete but she just wanted one. Star wars new trio is a Latino man, A black man and a woman and that in itself is very important. But still isn't able to treat them with the basic respect they deserve.

Lgbt+ kids deserve to watch their favourite movies and feel just as powerful as everyone else. It’s as important as Wonder Woman is for women. It’s as important as Black Panther is for black people. But LGBTQ+ people don't get that, especially in movies because society doesn't want our sexualities to rub off on kids. Because they don't want their kids to be gay. Because they think being gay is bad.

"Stop trying to shoehorn lgbt into everything"

Hahahahahahahaha I’m sorry, what the fuck did you say?? I can’t hear you over how ridiculous that sentence actually is. It’s straight people who time and time again shoehorn new characters into plots in the hope that fandoms will love the new het couple over the baited queer one so producers don’t have to go through with having decent representation. For example, those that have seen the Last Jedi, Rose, I love her to pieces don’t get me wrong, but I do not love her relationship with Finn, not as a romance. They were such good friends throughout the entire movie and then bamn! Forced het romance!! 

That kiss was so unnecessary that even the straightest of straights agree that it was forced. Not only did it ruin a perfectly good on-screen friendship between a man and a woman but it also showed just how shitty the writers and producers really are. That they’re so desperate to take attention away from a healthy, interracial, mlm couple, a couple that their entire cast and the majority of their fandom supports that they’re putting entire plots and storylines on the line.

“Jesus Christ everything has to be about lgbt these days. sick of it.” 

Firstly, you're on tumblr. What the fuck do you expect? Secondly, you have a completely empty blog just to spread your homophobia, that’s childish af. Thirdly, LITERALLY, NOTHING IS ABOUT LGBT THAT’S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT! Every single straight person who whines about “everything’s so gay now” “I can’t watch anything without it being all about lgbt” TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING AND WHERE YOU’RE FINDING IT. BECAUSE IT DOESN’T EXIST. 

Nobody is trying to make everything lgbt+, especially star wars, because if it was then we wouldn’t have han and leia and they’re iconic af, even if han is totally bi... okay, i’ll stop. But the point is, we’re not trying to make everything lgbt but most things are naturally lgbt+. One in four people are gay. Just gay. Think about how many characters are in Star Wars? It’s not unrealistic for some of them to be gay. In fact, it’s completely more than likely. Whether it’s Luke, Poe, Finn, Rey, Han, Leia or old Ben Kenobi, someone in that galaxy far far away is gay whether you like it or not.

I’ve seen a lot of people also saying that Star Wars isn’t even about romance, it’s about friendship and while, yes, you’re not wrong. Romance has never been a small part of it either. Han and Leia are still one of the most iconic straight white couples ever. Padme and Anakin’s romance was what started this whole mess in the first place and literally not a single person ever complained about either of those relationships.. So when you say that you don’t want it focussing on romance over friendship. What you’re really saying is that you’d rather it focussed on friendship than a gay romance.

“Stop with that lgbt crap”

That lgbt crap as you so eleoquently put it is literally mine and billions of other people’s lives. How about you stop with your homophobic crap? That’ll work out a lot better for us all?

Lastly, exactly who is it hurting?

Who is watching a healthy interracial queer relationship, or even just a non-white queer man on their screen and is hurt by it? Nobody. 

Giving LGBTQ+ people a voice hurts nobody. Seeing a gay character is not going to turn your child gay, just like seeing millions of straight characters on screen hasn’t magically turned me straight, because that’s not how it fucking works.

What hurts people is silencing that voice. Calling it s*upid and childish and irrelevant, that’s hurting people. And I know, that if you’re silencing these voices that you probably don’t care but a lot of people do. It matters to more people than you could possibly understand. This sort of content has the power to change someone’s life for the better and if that makes you and your homophobic lifestyle uncomfortable for a couple of hours. Then I really don’t give a flying fuck. 

If you don’t like it. Don’t watch the movies.

Stormpilot isn’t hurting anyone. If you wanna hate on a ship that is the symbolism of abuse then go shit on the r*ylo shippers, because that’s the real issue in the star wars fandom at the minute. 

TL;DR: Stop invalidating lgbt+ voices by mocking them and calling them childish. Stop spreading your homophobia. If you don’t ship finnpoe, okay, move on. LGBTQ+ people deserve representation like women deserve wonder woman and black people deserve black panther.

Why are you all so adamant that it’s wrong for us to force queerness on poe or finn or luke but you’re all happy to force heterosexuality on rey who has shown no real interest in a relationship besides hugging finn.

Did I miss anything?

[siflshonen]

I’m not transphobic, or anti LGBT, it’s just that at seven, my gay uncle took advantage of me. When I turned eighteen and finally got a girl, I told her my secret, and she spread it to the world. Now they think I’m gay, and not a day goes by, when I’m not touched by some random gay guy. So no, I don’t hate transgender, or LGBT, I just wish they didn’t exist, that they didn’t ruin me.

First of all, anon, that’s horrible and I’m so sorry that happened to you. None of what happened to you is okay.

However, I’m a little perplexed. From what you’ve written, I think the real problem you are having isn’t necessarily with the LGBT community and its existence. It’s with your pedophile uncle, who should burn in Hell not because he’s gay, but because he’s a pedophile, this (straight? I can only assume, here) girl who respected you and your secret so little that she felt the need to spread it to the world (and based on how you’ve put this, in a way that attracts people that want to give unsolicited come-ons), and a bunch of dudes who have no regard for your personal space or comfort not because they’re gay, but because they cannot respect your boundaries.

I take it that you want a girlfriend, but I gotta tell ya, if this is the way that this girl treats something so important and personal as a traumatic childhood experience, she is NOT the one for you and you are so much better off without her. Trust me- when it comes to romantic partners, you don’t want just ANYBODY, and ESPECIALLY NOT someone like that. This fallout you’re dealing with is terrible, unfair, and undeserved, but hopefully it can at least give you a clear indicator of the kind of person that you don’t want anywhere near you or your secrets. This is beyond a red flag. This is do-not-pass-go-do-not-collect-$200 material, right here. I really hope you have forcefully ejected her and everything about her from your life because she sounds like danger and abuse personified from this one act alone, and I don’t want that for you.

As for these people touching you without permission, what the fuck. They need to learn boundaries regardless of their sexuality. That’s just the mark of bad people. You don’t deserve that treatment from anyone.

If these folks don’t step off when you tell them to (your uncle, the girl, the random dudes), then they are just ALL shitty across the board, sexuality be damned, and you need to find people that respect you and your boundaries regardless of their or your sexuality.

I get that you’re angry, and you’re allowed to be. But for your own safety and sanity, I’d look a little closer at who I’m blaming and which behaviors are causing harm before deciding to blame the whole problem on a wide and varied demographic that has overlap with the offending parties, but ultimately does not pinpoint the root of the problems and offenses. These same behaviors performed by cishet folks are just as damaging and horrific, and I want for you to be smart and safe enough to protect yourself against them regardless of what kind of person is the source.

Please be safe. I hope you get away from all these terrible people and find a group of people that actually care about and respect you.

[unloneliest]

hi i don’t think pan ppl are transphobic, just because bi ppl can be attracted to 2+ genders and pan are attracted to all doesn’t mean pan ppl or bi ppl are transphobic. i deal w panphobic things anytime anyone mentions pansexuality and i really thought your blog would be safe from that. i'm pan and don’t use bi bc i recognize i'd be attracted to someone regardless of gender identity as long as i find them attractive (and this has nothing to do w seeing trans ppl as a dif gender), if they're 1/

this is a long post & i want ppl to have the option 2 skip it so i’m putting it under a readmore; above all else i’m so thankful that you sent me these asks and deeply sorry that i rb’d something that made you feel unsafe on my blog. i agree with you; i don’t think bi or pan people are inherently transphobic and i’m really sorry i implied that with that post!

2/ if they ID as demiboy or demigirl, or genderfluid or anything else that isn't binary, then i really don’t care. i'm not saying bi ppl can’t feel the same since i said bi people are attracted to 2+ genders or all, but pan is rooted in the emphasis of all gender identities. yes theres a lot of overlap but just... i'm hurt that you'd rb smth like that, i understand the last line of its root in transphobia but being gay/straight and so many other things have issues that clash w other LGBT+ IDs

3/ if anything, i've dealt with internalized panphobia and homophobia, i just never felt comfortable with saying i was bi, not because it was "boring" or "binary" but bc everyone would just assume i was attracted to guys and women which was never the case and saying i was pan allowed for me to show that i knew that there are more than 2 gender identities and that i was attracted to all of them

hi its the 3 pt ask anon and its like i completely get why bi ppl would be upset w pan ppl but its just so hard when both are oppressed and one of the most common arguments is like: we aren't seen so we have to be seen first before you try to get into this too. i get why biphobia exists but the same biphobia exists for pan ppl. so many ppl say you're just straight bc of a het relationship or you're just bi then. or the whole theres only two genders argument. and its like i'm as open to dating

5?/ anyone. i genuinely do not care about whichever gender they ID as since i just find ppl attractive for being attractive. and bi ppl can be the same. there is a LOT of overlap and i'm not going to dismiss any worries or concerns. all i know is that the pan community i've surrounded myself with to find love in my sexuality and community have constantly explained that theres overlap but it depends to the person and neither sexuality is transphobic so i try to never overstep or invalidate either

but thank you for listening, so many ppl just invalidate pan voices who try to put both bi and pan ppl into view while acknowledging how theres overlap but theres a difference. its hard feeling invalidating when all i (and others) do is be as inclusive as possible and try to never overstep. i listen to others worries like you do and i've learned so much from your blog and your rbs which i appreciate. it was just hard seeing panphobia & biphobia when i've tagged both to filter the words out

8?? sorry i lost count/ ty again for listening

hi and again just. thank you, for sending me these. i’ve privated the post for now, because i don’t want to hurt anybody but i also don’t want to avoid accountability 4 hurtful actions; i’d most like to delete the post but probably only will if you’re ok with that. and if i ever rb something that includes biphobia or panphobia i’ll do my best to always tag them.

and again i’m so sorry to have rb’d a hurtful post especially bc that runs so opposite to what i want to be doing with this blog & i know that when i’ve found something hurtful shared in spaces i viewed as safe it’s somehow hurt a lot worse than when i’ve encountered hurtful attitudes in places i was expecting it. 

in retrospect the phrasing on that post was Not kind, & didn’t convey the nuance i read into it. my baseline assumption of both bi and pan people is that neither group is inherently transphobic; both identities have extremely similar experiences and my perspective on different lgbtq+ identities in general is that our strength is in solidarity and isolating/separating can be really dangerous to the lgbtq+ community’s ability to thrive and work on making the world better and safer for us all. 

i’m really glad that you’ve found love and support within the pan community and i have all the respect and admiration in the world for my bi and pan siblings in the lgbtq+ community! being able to find folks who share your identity and to find pride in yourself together is so healing and important and i’m so glad for the times i’ve experienced that in my life as well. 

you’re right that all communities do have issues with transphobia, and i normally wouldn’t join in on other identity’s in-community conversations; i thought about that when reblogging the post earlier but i do my best to rb posts asking people to examine if their beliefs and identity might be formed on transphobic assumptions when it comes to all labels and that’s why i did originally rb. i do my best to rb a lot of posts asking wlw to examine potentially transphobic ideas they might hold, because i’m an afab nonbinary wlw and so regardless of the fact that i’m not cis, i have a lot more privilege than trans women do in wlw spaces and i know i need to be doing what i can to make wlw spaces safe for trans women & girls.

and the post i rb’d did just have pretty shitty & confrontational wording, which i didn’t think about when rb’ing it. i’m sorry again for that! 

my reasoning in rb’ing that post was the same as when i rb posts asking wlw to examine their views; not that everyone of the groups in question are inherently shitty in some way, but that we all could use reminders to reflect sometimes and that occasionally people will be misinformed or have a shitty view/shitty views - but that that’s not the norm. i also felt more ok rb’ing this post bc i for a very long time id’d as bi, and my attraction as a lesbian still is to women and nonbinary people who don’t feel misgendered by the attraction of a lesbian; some people would call me bi for that, but it’s a common lesbian experience. i really relate to what you said about choosing pan because it really clearly sends the message that you’re attracted to people regardless of gender, bc i chose lesbian as a label bc it sends the message that i’m Not attracted to men! it’s about how i want people to see me.

my reading of the post was connected to experiences i had with some pretty shitty transphobic ex coworkers; they didn’t know i wasn’t cis, but a number of my coworkers at the time were bi. transphobia/biphobia tw for the rest of this paragraph/ the ex coworkers were pan and they adamantly told me/other coworkers that bisexuality was attraction to men and women whereas pansexuality was attraction to men, women, and trans people. my assumption based off of them wasn’t that pan people are transphobic/that pan as an identity is inherently transphobic, but that they as individuals sucked and were transphobic & biphobic?

that experience does touch on what the post was about though, i think. since the bi manifesto written in 1990 “official” definitions of bisexuality have been stating that bi doesn’t just mean attraction to men and women, and that there are more than 2 genders; it’s society’s biphobia that causes people to think that bisexuality isn’t inherently inclusive of more than 2 genders/inherently inclusive of trans people. its clear to me that you know there’s overlap in the communities and that you’re not transphobic and again that’s my baseline assumption of pan or bi people! ik that stinkers are always the exception in communities.

i rb’d the post because i think self reflection on internalized bs is good, and i didn’t realize how confrontational & potentially shitty the post was; i’m really sorry that i rb’d it and made my blog feel unsafe & i’m going to do my best to be more thoughtful in the future. i hope that me sharing why i rb’d it doesn’t come across as an excuse, either; i’m just hoping knowing my intentions might help w/ the experience. 

(if ppl must know, link to the post here )

[sihayadesigns]

Natalie Morales and “queer.”

Rambly thoughts on a Saturday afternoon. I was reading a popular gossip site today when I came across an article about Natalie Morales coming out as queer.  The reaction was... not what I thought it would be. I didn’t see as much of the “queer is a slur!” crowd showing up. But I did see a lot of eye-rolling, as though “queer” were some kind of safe, straight-approved term that was a cop-out to calling herself bi/pan/whateverthefuck they thought she should have called herself.  It got stuck in my craw.  Let me just say this clearly: I think the pushback on “queer” has a lot to do with moving goalposts for people in the community who aren't unambiguously lesbian or gay. Before I continue, let me just tell you my take on three of the most common arguments against “queer” that come from within the LGBT+ community. Let’s just get them out of the way right quick before someone feels like bringing them up is Brand New Information ™ . * “BUT QUEER IS A SLUR!” Uh. Yeah, straight people have used it as a slur. But you know I grew up hearing? “Johnny is gaaaaaaaaaay, haha!” I heard “gay” used derogatorily on the regular. And yet we don’t magically expect gay men to stop calling themselves gay. HUNH. *sips tea* * “PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE CALLED QUEER IF THEY DON’T ID THAT WAY!” Roger that. If you tell me you don’t want to personally be called queer, I won’t call you that as a personal label. You have the right to your own personal label, and to have that label respected.  But “queer” as an umbrella term and has a deep history, in part because of its ties to LGBT+ activism (”queer as in fuck you” anyone?). And then there’s the decades-old academic use. “Queer theory.” “Queer studies.” Etc. You’ll pry “queer” as an umbrella term out of my cold, dead hands. * “BUT KINKY STRAIGHT PEOPLE USE QUEER! IT’S MEANINGLESS NOW!” Look, if we ceded the use of every term that straight people tried to appropriate, we wouldn’t have any fucking terms left. Yeah, that happens sometimes, and it fucking sucks when it does. But I feel like it’s a relative rarity to the point where it’s practically a smokescreen in these conversations. Yeah, some straight people are shitheads. This is not news. But I have a fucking backbone. I’m not going to cave in and cede my history and culture because a few straight kinksters want to feel edgy. End of story.

ANYWAY. I came out in the 1999/2000 in Baltimore, and I used bi and queer interchangeably, because a lot of people in the community (L's, B's G's, and T's) used it AND their own term depending on context, etc. As I mentioned above, “queer” has deep roots, as both a personal and an umbrella term, and particularly in LGBT+ activism. And then there's the biphobia aspect. I definitely started ID'ing more strongly as queer at some point mid-2000's because calling myself bi got the "you just don't know you're a lesbian yet" from people in the community and "you're just doing it for attention / you're greedy / you'll cheat" bullshit from the straights. So, fast-forward to now, when I've done a lot of grappling and decided "fuck you, nobody will ever say bi if we refuse to use it.” But now I'm ALSO seeing oddly familiar pushback on “queer,” which a lot of bi & pan people (not to mention non-binary people) use because of various types of phobias directed at us. I've definitely made a point to use “bi” more since "pan" came into the queer lexion and a lot of pan folks used lies/ignorance to say that bi = binary and therefore excludes non-binary people. Those people need to be loudly pushed back against and educated on facts. (Bi has verifiably meant "attraction to two or more genders" since the first national bi advocacy groups were founded in the 70's. We have receipts.) But “queer” is a part of my identity, and I use the term, too. I realize all of the totally valid reasons why someone else might choose it as a personal label, as well. Maybe they want to tap into the activist history of the word within the community. Maybe they're figuring things out and haven't settled on another term. Maybe they feel more fluid and using "queer" means that they won't confuse people by changing terms every few years. Maybe lots of other reasons I haven't thought of yet. But in public discourse, it's like a lose-lose situation. Use “bi” and get shit on. Get comfortable with another term and you're using “queer” to be "safe." It all just seems like a game of moving goalposts to shit on people in the middle of the Kinsey scale and make us feel second class. Same shit, different decade.  And a lot of bi people buy into the criticism of “queer” because they just want to be SEEN.  I get that, I do. But ultimately, it’s self-defeating. It’s not a victory for us if it’s at someone else’s expense-- not to mention so many of us already use both terms. It’s shitty. Stop doing that. Anyway, this is all to say, “good for Natalie.” She should use what term works for her, and ignore every last person who criticizes her for it.  That criticism is coming from a lot of places: ignorance of history, personal grappling with terminology, control issues, frustration at how Hollywood perpetuates biphobia. None of that is her fault or personal responsibility, so directing it at her is not a good look. I'm not going to sit here and assume this woman (who is quite private and I don't know personally) is using the term out of fear or bi-erasure or whatever, and by and large, I feel like making those assumptions about people says more about the person making the assumption than the person calling themselves queer.  I'm also not going to expect her to use bi or pan because that's what someone else feels she should be using instead. I remember how shitty it felt for people to invalidate my label out of their own shitty assumptions, and there's no way I'm going to turn that crappy feeling around on someone else. She doesn't owe me shit. She doesn’t owe you shit, either. TL;DR: We’re here, we’re queer, get fucking used to it. Identity policing and infighting is vicious, unbecoming, and self-defeating. Let’s all put on our adult pants and be better than that.

[mcrololo]

Can I get uhhhhhhh all questions you haven't done already

AHDJSDKKS; oh my god ok

1. describe your idea of a perfect dateThis is gonna sound really fucking cheesy but I’m down to do whatever as long as it’s with the one I like/love. Like you can take me fucking skydiving and I’d think it’s perfect just because I’m with my date. And if we die well at least we died together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. whats your “type”Uhhh, well, I’m a sucker for the ‘too kind for this world’ type. The Really Nice™. The Mom Friend™. Ya know. I also like blondes but that’s just a smol extra.

3. do you want kids?I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I do. It switches, usually when I think about babies. I don’t really like babies, but I love hanging out with kids and I would love to teach them about the good in the world. But you know what? I’m 21. I don’t need to decide that already. 

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?I’m not pooping out a baby, I’ve heard too many horror stories. So it’s either adoption or my girlfriend’s going through hell (that’s up to her).

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)LUKU DON’T LOOK OK. You’re too young for this.I don’t think anyone will ever not be nervous?? Like it’s completely new and especially gay sex is like ??? What the fuck do I do? They never explain that shit anywhere unless you go to specific places I guess. And as someone who has never had any interest in porn, I also didn’t look anything up. I was fucking nervous. I never know what I do and that sure as hell wasn’t an exception. And as a somewhat (at the time (I still sometimes am)) sex-repulsed graysexual, I also didn’t know how I felt about it. Now I like it, but I don’t really like talking about it, which is why I’m probably just rambling bullshit right now. 

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?Definitely night time. I hate mornings so much, I sometimes feel like throwing up when I wake up. It’s wild. 

8. opinion on nap dates?10/10, they’re great

9. opinion on brown eyes?BEAUTIFUL. Eyes are so expressive, no matter the color!

10. dog gay or cat gay?Dog gay (but also cat gay)

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someoneClosedmindedness. If you don’t accept people for who they are, I got no business with you.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?I grew up with a gay parent, but for some reason for the majority of my childhood and teenage years I was convinced being gay was a choice. bruh.

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self“Just because your dad is gay, doesn’t mean you can’t be gay. It’s in your genes asshole. Also, stay focused on your friendships. They’re 1000% worth it and you’re gonna get something good out of it.” 

(skipping 15 ‘cause i’m a homo)

16. who is an ex you regret?I have one ex and I don’t regret anything. We’re still friends and I still enjoy her company. I’m really glad for that too, because things didn’t get weird and we don’t hate each others guts so that’s super chill. I support her.

17. night club gay or cafe gay?Cafe gay

18. who is one person you would “go straight” forI am an unstoppable gay force. My gayness will never run out and as much as I think some men are attractive, I will never be attracted to one. (no shade, I just never really feel that way about men??)

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?FUCK no don’t make me choose between that?? I guess I should pick video game because I’m a game artist but?? Books and MOVIES MAN

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)Uncovered & Sugarpunch ;) For real though, idk?? All gay ships are good

21. favourite gay youtuberHANNAH HART. I LOVE HER SO MUCH i wish i can meet her one day cause she introduced me to mens wear and im love??? ALSO SHE MAKES FOOD PUNS OK GOALS

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?No, but my first crush was on a bi girl who was more into dudes, does that count? I was literally in love with that girl for two years dang

23. have you ever been in love?I mean, something’d be terribly wrong if I wasn’t. @shikariix​ and I are hitting the 3rd year anniversary next month lol

24. have you ever been heartbroken?You betcha. In more ways than one.

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someoneI am a very simple gay who stays true to myself. If I see a person I like and it’s mutual, I am never letting go (unless, of course, they want to let go). I never think that I want to be someone else? Celine taught me a beautiful life lesson about being yourself, because that’s all you can ever be. 

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysGo out there. Explore. Experience. Learn! Have fun! You only got one life and it’s a shame if you can’t live it to the fullest. It’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to question things. You’ll find the answers and you’ll find yourself. Just keep looking. 

28. are you out? if so how did you come outOkay so I come out in the most ridiculous ways. I come out with puns. I joke about my sexuality a lot. Most of the times I actually don’t realize I’m outing myself because I assume people already know. Family friends who’ve known me since I was a baby have literally ALL said that they had always known, so that’s why I assume everyone knows I’m gay from day 1.

But coming out for the first time? FUCKING TRAIN WRECK. I was so fucking nervous. My dad was the first one I told and I almost couldn’t, but I don’t know why? He’s gay himself. My mom was even worse. She’s been hurt by my dad, of course, so her view on the whole gay community was whack. On top of that, she always had boyfriends who were anti-gay so I came out to her via facebook lmao. Couldn’t even tell it face to face. And she was so proud? Like, her whole view on gays kinda just switched, which isn’t entirely good but she’s learning and she’s so much more open now. My mom eventually told my grandparents because I was scared out of my mind, but two years later they took me in and a year later they also took in my girlfriend. 

My friends were all super chill ofc. Most of them also went like “I fucking knew it ya big ol’ tomboy lol”. 

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have So, about half a year after I came out as a lesbian, I also kind of discovered I don’t feel much, if any, sexual attraction. Most of the people I tell this are actually super chill about it and ask questions (which I’m fine with, because they’re also learning). But when I told my grandfather, he said “You’re young. You don’t know what you want”. And that fucking hurt. That literally struck me right in my core. I’ve always been a grandfather kid, I’ve always looked up to him, and then he goes and says that shit. 

He eventually learned too. “You’re never too old to learn” was one of the first sayings he’s taught me. I forgave him, and he accepted me. On a lighter note: the day after, I came home from school and my grandmother comes up to me to tell me all about asexuality. She said she’d looked it up and read all about it. I’m assuming my grandfather picked up on this too and that’s why he’s accepted it. I love my grandparents so much.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityI honestly have no idea. I have no experience with that, because I came out as soon as I accepted myself (that took a long while, but hey). Make sure you surround yourself with people you CAN be yourself around. I know that’s probably shitty advice because you can’t just leave your folks behind or something, but it’s nice to have a few people who feel the same way. Someone you can talk to.