#is this the saddest man ive ever seen in my life?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

butterflies-dragons · 2 years

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Why does Jonsa feel like such an obscure solution to me lol? I'm a Jonsa, but it's not something that seems super obvious or direct in the story. If I hadn't known about the theory and was a casual reader with little knowledge of the evidence, I don't think I would have even seen Jon as a possible Sansa love interest. Do you think this is intentional?

You know, I've read the ASOIAF books and never saw any romance there except for Ned and Cat. And then one day watching the Show I saw romance. It was in the form of two supposed distant half siblings reuniting after years of separation and suffering. And curiously enough, they looked like Ned and Cat younger versions.

At that time of my life I decided to re-read those books and while doing that I had several epiphanies, like this one:

“No one will ever marry me for love.”

Be glad the Imp preferred his whores. It would not be fitting for my son to take that dwarf's leavings, but as he never touched you . . . How would you like to marry your cousin, the Lord Robert?" The thought made Sansa weary. All she knew of Robert Arryn was that he was a little boy, and sickly. It is not me she wants her son to marry, it is my claim. No one will ever marry me for love. But lying came easy to her now. "I . . . can scarcely wait to meet him, my lady. But he is still a child, is he not?" "He is eight. And not robust. But such a good boy, so bright and clever. He will be a great man, Alayne. The seed is strong, my lord husband said before he died.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI

“By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon I

“Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon IV

In the south, every great house of Westeros were fighting to get Sansa’s hand in marriage in order to take Winterfell and the north under their control. Sansa reflects about this objectification in the books and gives us one of the saddest lines in ASOIAF, especially coming from a girl who yearns to be loved and always dreamed of getting married: “No one will ever marry me for love,” (because everyone only wants her for her claim to Winterfell and the north).

Meanwhile at the Wall…

Jon Snow was offered legitimation, Winterfell’s Lordship and a wildling bride (Val) by King Stannis Baratheon, in order to gain the northern lords and the wildlings support to his claim to the Iron Throne. And Jon Snow rejected it all by saying: “By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa.” (A Dance with Dragons - Jon I) and “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.” (A Dance with Dragons - Jon IV).

Yes, Jon’s answer was Sansa. Winterfell belongs to Sansa. He could have said “Winterfell belongs to my sisters Sansa and Arya” or “Winterfell belongs to my true-born sisters” or “Winterfell belongs to the Starks.” But no. He said, more than once, that Winterfell belongs to Sansa.

Unlike Tyrion, Willas, Theon, Littlefinger or even little Robert, who pursued Sansa’s claim over her, there was a man who was offered Winterfell and chose Sansa over her claim: “By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa.” – “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.” Among all the high lords interested in becoming the Lord of Winterfell by marrying Sansa Stark, the bastard Jon Snow refused to despoil his sister Sansa of her rights, even if her claim is the one thing he has wanted as much as he had ever wanted anything.

So, do I think this is intentional??? Does this tell me anything???

For me the answer is yes, this tells me a lot.

...

Maybe I'm right and my speculations and theories and all my findings are hints for romance, or maybe they are just mere parallels and similarities without any significance, purpose, repercussion or effect, or even worse, they are just coincidence.

But when something happens that many times, it's no longer a coincidence.

Anyways, we will never know until George finish the Books.

Thanks for your message :)

#anon asks #jonsa

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locowolf · 8 months

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finished RDR the other day and i have some thoughts.

ofc going in i knew the vibes were different from RDR2, but i still was not prepared for how LONELY it felt. sometimes when i was just riding around the feeling would hit me like a train and make my stomach turn. i think a big reason why it feels this way is the urgency of what john is doing. sure, there’s stranger missions and random events and challenges just like RDR2. but who cares? there’s no time for any of that, john needs to find his old friends. he needs his family back. everything else can wait. i saved most of the stranger missions and everything for jack just to give him something to do (which i will get to later). i’ve always been wicked fascinated by spaghetti westerns so i absolutely loved the lonely vibes btw

i’m pretty sure i’ve said this to literally anyone who will listen (all my friends) but john looks so so sad. angry and so so sad. he looks like he’s perpetually about to burst into tears. all i could think about was young john in RDR2, who was always second to arthur. whose abilities were doubted. who was left to die by the man that raised him. who tried his best to live an honest life. who bought a run down plot of land and built a home to win his family back. john was just trying his best, and only four years later (which does not feel like a long time to me) his family is kidnapped, and he has to work for the government and hunt down his old friends. it’s all just so sad and depressing UGH

speaking of RDR2, i think it’s really interesting how it changes the way players view RDR. i did do the strange man stranger missions, and hearing him mention the woman dutch shot during the blackwater incident was?????? literally mindblowing to me?????? this little remark, both about the woman and the incident, was actually the catalyst for the plot of both games and the disillusionment of dutch in arthur and john?????? also just knowing the past john had with javier, bill, and dutch makes their endings so much sadder (besides bill honestly lol he was always annoying). also also the little things, like returning to beecher’s hope and thinking about charles and uncle building the home with john and getting shitfaced after it was done :)))

i bought the game for my PS3 (because FUCK spending $50 for the same goddamn game) and it was a nostalgic experience. the PS3-era graphics and controls (reminds me of GTA IV) plus playing with the PS3 controller was very very fun! the horse handling still trips me up (again reminds me of GTA IV’s odd driving mechanics) and is probably my least favorite part about the game. i also watched my dad play it all the time when i was like six or seven, so it was cool seeing the things i remembered, like the shootout at fort mercer and how silly the horse breaking looks :3

i wish there were a little bit more references to RDR2 (or i guess it’s the other way round?). just a teeny tiny little bit more fan service. also i wish we saw more of abigail and jack :((( i know the ending is meant to be abrupt but i just love their dynamics so much :(((

and speaking of abrupt!!! the fucking ending!!! i had already seen the last mission (because i love spoiling games for myself), so when that cutscene in the barn started playing i was like ?!?!?!?!?! already?!????? i still don’t know if i love it or hate it. i know it happened so soon because the govt was just using him and could not give two shits about him or his family, “our time has passed, john” or whatever dutch said, not being able to run away from your past, etc. but i just love john so much and wanted him and his family to live happily ever after :(

this brings me to what is, in my opinion, the saddest part of RDR, which is jack. he’s a moody teen who doesn’t really understand the world yet. he has a complicated relationship with his father. he doesn’t want jack to be a gunslinger like him, but he doesn’t want him working for the government, either. he wants jack to be a man but treats him like a boy. jack just wants his father’s approval. him and his mother are kidnapped by the government, not knowing what his father is up to, then is reunited with him a few weeks(?) later. but jack isn’t an idiot and he can put two and two together, and he probably looks up to john for what he did to save his family. john takes him out hunting a few times, he jokes about him and abigail growing old, and things start looking hopeful. jack is finally going to have a chance at a normal life. but then the army shows up, kills uncle, and massacres john. when jack is like fifteen. then his mother dies three years later.

jack is eighteen and alone. no family or friends. i guess he has the macfarlane’s but i doubt jack was close to them. there’s nothing for him. a big empty house, a big empty ranch. and he continues the cycle that john was trying to end. arthur saw the faults in his outlaw ways and convinced john to get out of it, to protect his family and build a life for them, to run and don’t look back. john listened (mostly), but then he was forced to take down the known remaining VDL gang members. even though arthur doesn’t say it to him, i think john understands that revenge is a fool’s game. he understands that the days of the gunslinger are over, and he wants jack to live a better life than he ever had, in the same way arthur wanted john to settle down and marry. but jack is young. i can imagine him seeing what his father did as revenge, even though he was forced into it. but john never got the chance to have the “revenge is a fools’s game and the world is changing” conversation with him. jack watches the government murder his father, who he undoubtedly looked up to. his father who did everything in his power to get his family back. i can only imagine the anger and betrayal he felt for those three years he took care of abigail. him and his teenage brain trying to grapple with it all. then, once he’s an adult and he’s lost everything, he becomes a gunslinger and gets his revenge.

(i forgot to get back to the part about saving the side stuff for jack lol. i just feel bad about him being alone so i saved everything for him to do. maybe he can make some fucked up friends or something idk)

i like to imagine jack lives a decent life. maybe sadie or charles reconnects with him. maybe he explores the US and runs into tilly in saint denis. maybe he befriends the macfarlane’s and decides to become a rancher like his father was trying to be.

i think in his early twenties he would be an absolute train wreck, drinking and gambling and letting beecher’s hope fall into disrepair. but he would mature. he finds arthur/john’s old journal tucked away in the attic and thumbs through it one night, reading the passage where arthur tells john to protect his family. and jack thinks he has a chance. he doesn’t have pinkertons or the government breathing down his neck like arthur and john. he’s smart, he has a plot of land, he has a whole life ahead of him. he has a chance. so he cleans up beecher’s hope with the help of the macfarlane’s, he finds a wife, he starts a family, he has an honest living, and he lives happily ever after.

(this has huge fanfic potential tbh)

and my biggest takeaway from the game is: everyone was just trying to live for something. john, bill, javier, dutch, ross, everyone. they were just trying to survive. they were just trying to survive. of course, their survival methods varied greatly, and some were definitely more honorable than others, but in the end, weren’t they all doing the same thing? they were corrupt killers trying to live in a world that hated them. they were fighting for what they believed in. they were trying to make it out on top by any means necessary. all that varied was how they did it.

what a fantastic game. i think i still prefer RDR2 as a whole because i just fucking love collectathons, but RDR is still an amazingly tragic story. i binged-played it in two days.

#this ended up being more than just some thoughts #it just has me in my feels rn #rdr1 #rdr1 spoilers #john marston #jack marston #rdr2 #arthur morgan

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grinchwrapsupreme · 1 year

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I hate working in theatre. Here before me is the saddest most pathetically wet man ive ever seen in my life and about 300 people know he exists and in 2 weeks he will stop existing forever. What kind of sicko invented this system, the internet would love him

#his name is will #like you even care 😤#hes sweaty and he hates his life and hes trapped in the fantasy that his best friend from when he was 10 will love him again 20 years later #but do the people at large know?? no #they will never get to be miserable for him like i am 😔

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css1992 · 3 years

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Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X / Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

What the fuck was he thinking?

That was the first thought in Peter’s mind when he opened his eyes the next morning and remembered what he had done the night before. Agreeing to meet with a subscriber, really, how dumb was that? It was one of those things he did before bed when his brain was too slow to make good decisions and then the next morning there were consequences. Consequences. Peter couldn’t deal with fucking consequences, he was still struggling with the fallout of his other terrible life choices.

I should cancel, he thought, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to wake himself up.

He should definitely cancel. Right. It was only reasonable. He could tell Tony he slept on it and realized it wasn’t such a good idea, after all. Or he could just say he was sick – for the foreseeable future. Or something. He would figure it out as he typed.

He sighed heavily and reached for his phone on the nightstand, pulling up his chat with Tony. He was going to call the whole thing off – he was! – but he made one crucial mistake. Before he started typing an excuse, he re-read the conversation from the night before. He didn’t understand why or how, but Tony’s words just – inebriated him, and by re-reading them, he was put under his spell all over again.

I need to see you, he said.

Not want. Not would like. Need. The word choice wasn’t lost on Peter, but he wondered if he was reading too much into it, if maybe Tony just said the first thing that came to mind without giving it much thought. But it couldn’t be casual, could it? Nobody would say they needed something casually.

Right?

He pictured the older man holding him close, whispering in his ear, “I need to see you”, until, somehow, in his imagination, words got lost somewhere and it became, “I need you”. Peter shivered just thinking about it. He was sure his voice would exude power and confidence, he just knew it, he wouldn’t be able to resist Tony’s commands, and yet–

Please.

He asked nicely. Peter was hyper-aware of the fact that the word “please” had an unreasonable and slightly concerning effect on him, he should probably talk to someone about that, but it just did. It fucking did. Tony could have demanded whatever he wanted – and embarrassingly, Peter would have probably said yes. He could have been an asshole about it, pushy, like some other people were, but no. He was…

I’ll treat you right.

Peter never stood a chance, he realized, sighing, letting his phone fall off his hand and onto the bed. That man knew exactly what he was doing, didn’t he? Peter wondered if he was that transparent, if anyone who talked to him for more than five minutes could see how needy he was, how badly he craved affection. If so, how embarrassing was that? A touch-starved porn star with feelings?

Ex-porn star, his brain supplied, and Peter rolled his eyes at himself. But still, technically, he was not a porn star anymore, he was more like… A model. A social media influencer? An adult entertainer. He could settle for that.

He picked his phone back up and looked at the chat, re-reading their conversation from the night before, over and over again. At least it didn’t seem like he thought Peter was a hooker – well, he hadn’t offered money, so Peter assumed he meant it as a casual meeting, not a business transaction. Nothing else has to happen, he promised. Nobody would ask a hooker out not expecting anything else to happen.

Right?

While he freaked out wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into, his phone beeped and vibrated in his hand, as he got a notification saying he had a text from an unknown number. He frowned, because not a lot of people had his number, but when he opened the text message, his heart dropped to his stomach.

“Hey, babe, it’s Quent. I saw you unblocked me on Instagram. Can we talk?”

He felt immediately dizzy, his vision blurred and his hands shook. His only reaction was to throw the phone as far away from him as he could, as if it was on fire. His throat closed up and breathing became harder, he thought he might suffocate, as he sat up on the bed and tried to take deep breaths. Deep breaths. Tried not to get lost in his –

“I can’t do this anymore, Pete,” was the first thing he said the minute the younger man walked out of the en suite bathroom, drying his hair with a towel.

“Do what?” He asked, confused, tilting his head to the side. He watched as Beck slowly got out of bed and walked to him. Peter noticed he wasn’t naked anymore, he had put on some pants and a t-shirt. He blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the situation.

“This. Us.” He gestured between them and Peter stared at him for a few seconds, as the words flew around in his head, refusing to provide any meaning. After a couple of minutes, he laughed weakly, even though his eyes burned and his chest felt crushed. Beck’s expression remained impassive.

“You’re joking, right?” Even as he asked that, he knew in his heart that he wasn’t. His face fell when Beck simply shook his head. “Quent… What...” He didn’t even know what to say, what to ask. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, trying to stop his eyes from watering, Beck hated it when he cried for no reason. “Listen, let’s just – let’s just talk about this, I’m sure–“

“There’s nothing to talk about, Peter, I’ve made up my mind. I’m sorry.” He took the two steps that separated them and ran a hand down the younger man’s wet cheek and Peter grasped it desperately, as if it could make him stay. “You’re immature, needy and quite frankly… a little boring for someone who gets fucked for a living.”

“I can do better, Quent, I can change, please don’t – don’t leave me,” he begged quietly, voice cracking, barely audible over the sound of his own sobs. Beck winced, pulling his hand away.“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, please… Please, don’t leave me...” He shut his eyes tightly, trying to wake up from that nightmare. Just a few minutes earlier, everything was fine, they filmed a scene, Beck told him to get in the shower and the minute he walked back into the bedroom everything went to shit, how the fuck did that happen?

“This is exactly what I’m talking about, Peter. Look at you, listen to yourself right now. It’s… Pathetic.” He looked at him like he was the saddest sight he had ever seen, a mixture of pity and disgust, annoyance and impatience. Peter remembered a time when he looked at him like he was precious, like he was the most important person in the world… What went wrong? Where did he fuck up? How could he fix it?

“Quent, I-I – you’re all I–“

“That’s the problem, Pete,” he scoffed, shaking his head with an incredulous smile on his face. “I’m tired of being your everything, it’s exhausting. You’re exhausting.” He leaned against the wall next to the bedroom’s door, as Peter freaked out just a few feet away, thinking he was having an actual heart attack from how bad hearing that fucking hurt. “I don’t love you anymore.”

He was pulled from his memories when the doorbell rang and his heart jumped. Could it be him at the door? He couldn’t have found him, he had no idea where Ned and MJ lived – hell, he had no idea where Peter went, he didn’t even bother to ask. For all he knew, Peter could be living on the streets. He knew he had no money, no family, and he didn’t fucking care, he just fucking kicked him out, he barely gave him time to pack all of his things, his eyes were cold, arms crossed over his chest as he waited impatiently for Peter to leave. And he begged and kept begging, and–

Fuck, he was losing it. He was going back to that dark place he had barely crawled out from just weeks earlier.

He took a deep, calming breath and shook his head, trying to get his emotions under control. It was not Beck at the door. He had no way of finding him, and Peter knew he wouldn’t even try to. The only reason he had to contact him was probably a job. He knew a lot of people in the porn industry would still try to book him through Beck, since he was his agent for so long. That was obviously the reason he was trying to reach out. Money. As always. That was all.

So he took another deep breath and walked slowly to the front door. When he checked the peephole, Ned and MJ were casually standing outside, talking to each other like nothing was wrong in the world. He didn’t think twice and yanked the door open.

“Get dressed, loser, we’re going– what the fuck!?” MJ’s eyes almost jumped out of their sockets once she took a look at him. He knew he must look like garbage, he had no idea how he was even standing on his own two feet, he felt like his whole body was falling to pieces. He threw his arms around Ned, who was closest to him, and the older boy just pulled him close and let him bury his face in his neck, not missing a beat.

“Shh, it’s ok, buddy. Everything’s fine now.” He rubbed his back gently and Peter cried a little harder, a mixture of relief, sadness and regret filling his chest, leaving him confused and exhausted all at once. “Come on, let’s sit down for a minute. MJ, bring him some water, will you?” He pushed him lightly inside the apartment and directed him to the only piece of furniture in the living room, crouching down in front of him as MJ rummaged his tiny kitchen. “You ok, man?”

“I’m ok, I’m ok. It’s just… one of those days.” He forced a smile, trying to dry his face with the collar of his shirt. He didn’t want to tell them that Beck had tried to reach out, it would only cause them to worry unnecessarily. They were the ones who had convinced him to block his number, even if Peter insisted Beck would never call.

MJ hurried back from the kitchen and thrust a glass of water in his face, seeming a little nervous and completely out of her element. He realized that it was probably the first time they ever saw him in such bad shape, he didn’t have the energy to try to put up a strong front for them, which he always did, ever since he was a ten-year old boy. They had seen him cry before, of course, just probably not like that. Peter felt like shit and he knew he looked like it, too.

He drank the water that was offered to him just to have an excuse not to talk for a few seconds, as he tried to cool down and get himself back under control. MJ was fidgeting, standing beside Ned who was sitting on the floor, rubbing Peter’s knees comfortingly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Ned asked, squeezing his leg, and he shook his head firmly.

“No, thanks. I’m fine, really. Did you have plans for today?” He looked at his friends and noticed they both had their jackets on and looked ready to go out. It was, after all, a sunny Saturday morning. “I’ll go get dressed right now.” He tried to get up from the armchair but MJ placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, we can stay in, if you want.” She assured him, still looking a little freaked out, which was funny to watch. She was never very good at comforting people.

“No, that’s stupid, come on,” He got up, forcing Ned to do the same, and headed to the bedroom, but the older boy grabbed his arm before he could go too far.

“Don’t worry, c’mon, let’s go down to our apartment, at least we have a couch.”

Peter wanted to insist that he was okay to go out, but if he was honest with himself, he was... not okay. To do anything. And he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts.

So he just nodded at his friends and followed them downstairs. Back at their place, he plopped down on the couch with MJ next to him, as Ned headed for the kitchen. He came back with ice cream and three spoons and Peter smiled weakly, appreciating the gesture.

“So… Bad day?” Ned asked sympathetically as Peter pretended to focus on the frozen desert.

“Bad day,” he answered, simply, with a small smile on his face, and his friend nodded in understanding.

“Did something happen or…?” He insisted and Peter stuffed his mouth with enough ice-cream to give himself a brain freeze, just so he could avoid talking for a while. He shrugged.

“No, just… Memories.”

“Of course,” MJ scoffed, as she stabbed the ice-cream with her spoon. “That asshole. I can’t believe he gets to be your first love. That fucking sucks.” Peter was sure MJ didn’t mean to make him feel bad – or rather, worse – but he hadn’t even thought about that yet. The fact that Beck was his first love. His first everything, really. Nothing could ever change that fact. He swallowed the lump in his throat with a spoonful of chocolate chip ice-cream. “Don’t worry, one day you’ll find a decent man who will show you what a healthy relationship looks like, you know. That perv deprived you of even that.” MJ shook her head and Peter sighed, wincing.

“I don’t think I can find a decent man, MJ,” he mumbled, looking down at the ice-cream pint. “I’m a certified whore now. Imagine Prince Charming googling my name and finding my gang bang video, or the fisting one.” He scoffed, shaking his head. He didn’t dare to look up at his friends, he played with the melting ice-cream and shrugged. “I’m sorry for the mental image.” His face was burning red, he hated to talk about his videos with them, but they needed a reality check. He was pretty sure they never watched the videos, so they had no idea how bad the situation was.

“Good thing you’re not looking for Prince Charming, then, Cinderella.” She rolled her eyes. “You need a man who understands that sex is just sex, it doesn’t matter how many people you slept with, or if it was filmed or not. Besides, it was just a fucking job, like any other, people use their bodies to work. Writers use their hands, waiters use their legs, you used your ass, so-fucking-what?” MJ argued and she genuinely seemed to believe her own words, which made Peter laugh a little and feel relieved that his friend didn’t think badly of him. That made one of them.

The thing was, it was a beautiful speech, big words, great ideas, but none of it meant anything because it wasn’t real. He believed MJ thought like that, but most people didn’t. Most people would look at him differently knowing he used to do porn and knowing that he still did solo stuff on Just4Fans. They would think it was fine to fantasize about him, it was fine to jerk off to him, maybe it would even be fine to have sex with him casually, but have a serious relationship with him? Probably not.

He must have been distracted for a while and jumped up a little when he felt Ned’s hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, dude. Not everyone is that narrow-minded, you know. At the end of the day, it’s just porn. A lot of people do it, even more people watch it, it’s not that big of a deal.” Ned shrugged and Peter looked at him a little surprised. He didn’t look freaked out at all by what he said earlier, which – he didn’t think he would be rude or anything, he just didn’t expect him to be so cool about it.

He smiled at him and nodded.

Peter spent the rest of the day at their place and gradually started feeling a little more like himself, a little calmer. His head hurt from such a rough morning, but having his friends by his side helped a lot. They had pizza for lunch and binge watched a sitcom for seven hours straight, which helped keep all the intrusive thoughts at bay. Well, mostly.

When he got home that night, he picked up his phone that was still lying on the floor. The screen was cracked, but at least it was still working. He quickly blocked Beck’s Instagram and his new number before he could think twice about it, and only then did he notice there was a message from Tony waiting for him, from a few hours earlier.

“Hey, gorgeous. How’s your day? I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Can’t wait to see you.”

For some weird reason, reading that message soothed him. It should have freaked him out, sent him over the edge again, but it didn’t. He had forgotten all about the fact that he agreed to meet Tony, but he was glad he did. He felt exhausted from all the emotions he had to deal with all day long and he thought he didn’t want to do anything but sleep it off, but talking to Tony sounded like an even better idea somehow.

“Not so good, I’m a little tired, but I’ll survive. How was yours, daddy?”

He wasn’t surprised when he got an answer right away.

“I’m sorry to hear that, kitten. I’d give you a foot rub if I was there, would that help?” Peter couldn’t help but smile at that message, which was a little shocking to him, he thought he had lost the ability to do that hours ago.

“That would help a lot, daddy.” He sighed, rolling onto his side, burying himself under the covers. “I wish you were here.” He didn’t expect to mean it so much, not when he was talking to a virtual stranger, but Tony had such a weird effect on him when they talked. Peter felt like he knew him, like they were intimate, like he was safe. And none of that made any sense, but he couldn’t help it.

“I wish I were there, too. I’d take good care of you.” Fuck, and he kept saying those things. Those beautiful things that made his stomach turn and his head hurt and his heart go wild. He was so fucked. “Dinner’s still up? Does Thursday night work for you?”

“Thursday works fine. I’m just a little nervous.” He curled on his side, looking closely at the cracked screen. Immediately, Tony started typing an answer.

“Please don’t be, sweetheart, I promise you’ll have a good time. We’ll have a nice meal, some fine wine, a good talk. What’s not to like?” That was exactly what Peter thought the previous night, and it had made perfect sense in his head. When he woke up, though, it didn’t sound reasonable at all. And now there he was, hypnotized again by Tony’s charm.

“I don’t know.” He bit his lip, wondering if he should say what he wanted to say or if it would be weird.

“Then, please, don’t worry. You can leave at any second if you don’t feel comfortable.”

“Okay.” He replied, worrying his bottom lip, working up the nerve to say what was on his mind. “Look, you know I’m not, like… a prostitute, right? Nor an escort. I just post dirty pictures online, which might be misleading, but I’m not a sex worker. I hope you know that.” There, he said it. He held his breath as he waited for Tony’s answer, who kept typing for what felt like ages.

“To be completely honest, no, I was not sure, and I didn’t want to offend you by asking, but this changes nothing. I didn’t ask to meet you for that, I hope you know. I just really need to see you in person. I like talking to you here, but I’d love to hear your voice, see your smile, make you laugh. I promise I have no ulterior motives.”

“Oh, you’re good.” Peter joked lightly, because it seemed like Tony always knew what to say to wrap him around his little finger.

“I am, baby, I promise. You’ll see.”

He was pretty sure he had heard similar promises before, beautiful words without any meaning. Still, for some reason, it wasn’t hard to believe him.

-x-

Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list): @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud

#starker #peter parker x tony stark

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urgrl · 3 years

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but any way thoughts on s2 of snowpiercer as a whole.

*spoilers

•Theory about melanie: wilford mentioning the Oubliette. according to google it is a “secret dungeon with access only through a trapdoor in its ceiling”. SO because we didn’t see Mel’s body, i’m assuming (for the sake of my sanity) that she has found a safe place underground that is hopefully warm enough to sustain her for a while. I’ve also seen some theories that she might be with other survivors, which seems kind of far fetched, but if there is a natural vent like the one she found in the lab, it could be possible for there to be survivors. fingers crossed bc i will cry so much more than i already have if melanie really is d word.

•I personally really love Alex’s character. I love that they didn’t just go in a “mean, cold, emotionally stunted” direction with her, but rather show the emotional side of her. Growing up without her mother, feeling like she was discarded by her mom, having to deal with Wilford and his lies and manipulation for her entire adolescence. A line that really got me was when she was talking and she said “I became the island of alex, and no one ever came ashore.” She is an incredibly strong character, and i think any one who underestimates her will be at a huge disadvantage.

•UMMM MISS RUTH?? best character development. hands down. I hated ruth in the first season, and going into the second season. I even had mixed feelings about her up until Wilford ordered her to take off her teals, after which i got legitimate chills. Not only did she prove she wouldn’t be one of Wilford’s mindless dogs, she was able to put aside her own fears, insecurities, and everything she had ever thought or believed about snowpiercer in order to leave it behind and retrieve hope for humanity. she was a total bad ass, and i love ruth now.

•by far the biggest shock for me this season was Josie being alive. like hello??? I don’t think any one is saw that coming. All things considered, I’m glad that the hedgewood’s were able to help her. Even though their intentions were skewed and devious, they still ultimately saved her life. I wish we got more interactions of her and icy bob, but hey, i’ll take what i can get. Last season I feel as though she was a bit of a crutch to the plot, kind of in the background, but i was happy that this season her character was able to be an integral part of the pirate team’s success. I’m very much looking forward to her development and relationships in the upcoming season.

•aside from Melanie being Missing in action (i absolutely refuse to say she’s dead yet), the saddest part of the season for me was Javi’s death. not only was it brutal and disturbing, it was completely undignified. He was just a young man doing his job to the best of his abilities and trying to save the world in his own special way. I knew when he was taken to Big Alice he would die, but the way in which he was killed really cements just how disgusting, horrendous, and ruthless Wilford is. Javi was a kind, goofy, and warm hearted person with anxieties and worries like all of us. I will really miss his character. Scratch that i just saw that apparently Roberto Urbina is in the filming location for Season Three? I’m assuming this means he’s alive? JAVI LIVES.

some additional things that i thought were.. um... interesting.

•LJ, you wretched bitch.

•wilford’s bathtub, what the fuck is wrong with this guy

•jupiter. I loved you at the beginning, but at the end. Ive never hated a dog so much.

•alex wearing melanie’s hoodie in the last episode. that’s it.

•miss audrey needs some serious help.

•icy bob? just his entire character? what the fuck

All in all, it was a very exciting, scary, sad season. I really looking forward to season three.

Feel free the leave comments or reply about how you feel about season 2 or Snowpiercer opinions in general!

#snowpiercer #snowpiercer tnt #snowpiercer tv show #snow piercer

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zukos-scribe · 3 years

Text

Grief

Peter Parker x Reader

Ok this is another one of my fics from my old blog that I edited heavily and am reposting on here. So if you've seen this before don't worry.

Major trigger warning for dying/death/torture/etc.

You were breathing hard, sweat pouring down your face as you tried to gain your bearings. It was hot and dark, only one rickety old lamp hanging high from the ceiling.

It illuminated your face along with the other person sitting in the room with you, Peter.

Peter Parker.

He's your best friend, you were the only person in school that he trusted with his spiderman secret from the very beginning. And he's the guy that you had been crushing on for the past three years.

But alas, he was currently crushing on a really popular senior girl named Liz. You had to admit, she was beautiful. A lot more than yourself. Every time she talked to you or Peter, your insecurities grew.

You considered yourself more of the background friend. Someone that was there to lean on if needed, that friend that would have to step behind the others when walking down the sidewalks.

However, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a good friend. He was a great friend. He was there when you needed him, listened to you geek out about your interests, made sure to include you in conversations with others.

He was your best friend.

Even though you wanted him to be more.

But it had been harder since he had become spiderman. He was rushing around, he didn’t have as much time for you anymore. Study dates and friend time had become near impossible. Weekend tech and gaming events had disappeared.

It was the night of the homecoming dance, and he had rushed out of the school looking desperate and scared, even ditching Liz after bringing her as his date.

You didn’t know what was happening so you chased after him.

“Peter!” you called as you ran after him.

“Go back! Y/N! Don’t follow me!” he yelled, changing into his spiderman suit. You continued to run after him anyway. But he was too fast for you now.

“Peter!” you screamed as he took off.

You stood there outside of the school watching as your best friend and the boy that you loved swung off into the night.

“Well, how sweet it is that I found spiderman’s little…. Whatever you are,” a threatening voice suddenly said from behind you.

You spun around to see whoever it was, but a pair of hands reached out to grab you before you could see their face.

Then, blackness. ~~~~ When you woke you were in that darkened room, only the one rusty light on the ceiling. It didn’t shed light on anything other than Peter’s face and an IV going into your arm. Your wrists were gently tied to the arms of your chair with pieces of cloth. The two of you were seated at a table across from each other, with another chair on your right side. Obviously, someone was going to be joining you.

You looked at Peter in fear.

“What’s going on?” you croaked.

“I don’t know.”

You stared at him until a loud mental bang rang throughout the room.

A pair of hands appeared by Peter’s head, wrapping a dirty piece of cloth around his mouth. Peter’s eyes widened in fear and he tried to fight off the man.

“Now, Peter if you want to me to take off that gag you need to listen first of all. Although I think by the end of this you won’t be able to care anymore. I aim to destroy you.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked as he sat down in the chair next to you.

“Well darling, I think that our precious spiderman here is about to lose his best friend forever. That IV in your arm is slowly killing you. But, if you can talk fast enough, you might be able to save yourself. But I don’t know, you’ve never said anything like this to him before.”

“Tell him what?” you asked confused.

“All of those deep dark feelings that you’ve hidden away in the back of your heart and brain. The ones that only come out when it’s late at night and you’re done with the world. The ones that began to appear after Spiderboy here came into the picture So go ahead, get talking. I’ll be one room over.”

The man got up and removed your constraints before leaving the room.

Peter looked at you with worry and confusion in his eyes. He tried to say something against the gag, but nothing coherent came out.

“I’m sorry Peter, I’m so sorry,” you cried, letting your head droop. “I didn’t want you to ever find out about any of this.”

He started to struggle in his chair, trying to loosen his bonds. You reached over to carefully slip the gag off of his mouth. You wanted to help him get free, but he was cuffed to the chair with mental.

“Y/N, what is he talking about? Are you okay? What’s going on? What feelings are you keeping from me?”

“Peter-”

“Please Y/N, just be honest with me.”

You looked at him with the saddest expression that he’s ever seen in his life. Your cheeks seemed hollow, your eyes were empty and sad. You weren’t yourself. How long had you been feeling this way?

“Ever since you became spiderman, it’s been so hard. I constantly feel left behind, you don’t have as much time to spend with me. I just sit in my room now watching the news, hoping that you’re still safe and alive. Then I see you in school the next day and you seem fine, but you don’t tell me anything. Then you go off and-” you paused, a coughing fit coming over you.

“And what?”

“You go and get distracted by Liz. You’re so infatuated with her, you don’t see that I’m standing right beside you, just like I’ve always been. I love you Peter. More than a friend, but you don’t see it.”

Peter stared at you horrified, guilt was creeping into his eyes.

“Y/N I-”

“It’s okay,” you coughed out. “You don’t have to love me. I've already accepted the fact that you never would. I just miss my best friend. We used to tell each other everything. But you've been keeping so much to yourself that I felt so helpless. What if something happened to you and I couldn't do anything about it. Or I never found out and one day you just disappeared."

He started to try and say something but you were hit with more coughs, each one worse than the last one. Blood appeared on your hand. You were dying. You didn't think that it would be so quick.

“Y/n, hang on. I’ll get us out of here,” Peter cried, trying to break free again. He was becoming frantic.

You slumped in your chair. You felt cold, your eyes were drooping, your head was fuzzy. You couldn’t think straight anymore. You looked tiredly at Peter who was trying to free his hands.

“I don’t want to die in here,” you whispered.

Peter froze, his eyes full of panic.

“No. I won’t let you die. You’re going to be fine, we’ll get out of here. I’m going to get you help.”

He managed to break the restraints on one of his hands before beginning on the other hand.

“Just stay awake for me please.”

You shook your head slightly.

“I can’t.”

He managed to get his other hand free and ran over to you.

“Alright, we’re going to get out of here.” He tried to help you up but you fell to the floor. He gathered you in his arms and tried to figure out a way out of the room.

“I love you Peter. I’m sorry.”

“No!” he screamed. “Y/N! Wake up! Please! Wake up, please wake up!” He buried his face into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m so sorry.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(does any of this make sense? idk anymore)

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #spiderman homecoming #spiderman far from home #marvel #marvel imagines #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #tw: injury #tw: death

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hydrangeathief · 2 years

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who are your five favorite gravity falls characters?

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE you have unlocked a Ramble

my number one, my favorite boy, my absolute best friend and my poor little meow meow and my little scrungly and my malewife, is stan. i love stan SO MUCH!!! he's just so loyal and strong and a total bitchy old man and i love him so much. love is stored in the stanley. the most tragic backstory of any character i have ever seen but he worked so hard! for so long! to save his brother!! and he loves the kids and he loves soos and wendy and he's just such a good character. the brass knuckles and baseball bat and fistfight the zombies?? all time top moment in any media ever. self sacrificing asshole. stanley i love you.

second favorite is good ole ford. he's a little bit too hashtag relatable bc i too am the ~smart sibling~ who carried the family's expectations for years and i too am the geeky science nerd cryptozoologist freak and i just. he's so smart and hardworking and also a total bitchy old man. my favorite genre of character is the bitchy old man. and he's such a delight to read and write bc he's feral and unhinged and totally ill adjusted to living in his home dimension and also, six fingers is a cool fucking character design. so good. insane dude.

third fave is FIDDS!! my lil appalachian soul just latched on to him and he's also the saddest fictional character i have ever experienced bc like. he had a Life!! he had a wife and child and a whole entire future before ford's hubris ruined it and i just. it's so sad. fiddleford i love you. ive tried forgetting, now im going to try forgiving??? AAAAAAA i lose my Mind

number four is my sweet little girl mabel like that is my actual child. she's just so bright and happy and determined to stay positive and she's so clever and creative and i looooove her. i wanna be mabel when i grow up. she's just such a sweetheart and a total chaos god and she cares so much and she's just such a well written character! love her!!!!!

gonna round out the list with bill cipher bc that is how you write a Good Villain like he's so fucking unhinged and the "im insane either way!" like is so so good and just. yellow cartoon triangle who is deeply unsettling. here kid have a head that's always screaming! why don't i shuffle the functions of all the holes on your face! i have some children to turn into corpses!

thank you so much for the ask, this was such a fun ramble

#ask #ozymandiasdirge #a post from me

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spidermanifested · 3 years

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remember when i said in my post about how bido is unappreciated that id talk about why greed/bido is a good and important ship but thats a whole other post. well This is that post

the first and most important reason that greed/bido is a good ship is very simple and that reason is Bido Was In Love With Greed The Whole Time And Nobody Noticed?????? how come nobody noticed. i mean SOME people noticed but nowhere NEAR enough people noticed

when greed compliments bido for successfully proving that alphonse is just a soul bound to a suit of armor, he blushes and acts very flustered and happy. unfortunately this scene is not animated in either show (bido talking to greed is changed to be over the phone in 03, and in brotherhood the scene just gets skipped, HOWEVER theres a single shot of bidos face in one of greeds flashbacks that shows him blushing and looking directly at the camera. ie at greed)

also in the manga his first thought when the military shut down the nest was to worry about whether greed SPECIFICALLY was okay (i used this page in my other post as well but its important)

and in brotherhood he was shown to have actually followed greed through the sewers during his fight with bradley but could only watch from his hiding place as greed was defeated and taken away; remembering this is what gives him the determination to hitch a ride to central to look for him

did i mention he went all the way to central to find him!!! clinging to a MILITARY TRUCK no less. as a very obvious chimera if he had been found by any of those soldiers it would have been horrible for him and every other time we ever saw bido faced with danger he ran away from it. but he was brave For Greed. he went into the labyrinth under central For Greed, and didnt try to escape until he was convinced greed wasnt there. and when it turned out he WAS there (and had lost his memory and had been trying to kill him) he immediately dropped his guard and walked closer to him because that was greed and he trusted him despite everything that had just happened. in the manga he grabs onto greeds coat as he dies and it is just about the saddest thing ive ever seen in my whole life

and then of course greed starts physically shaking because what he just did was so awful his body knows he fucked up before his mind even remembers Why it was fucked up and he cradles bidos body in his arms and screams. unfortunately if we are to acknowledge bido as the gay icon he was, we also must acknowledge that he was buried

(by all rights bido SHOULD have survived. where is the fanfiction where he survives fullmetal alchemist fandom or are you too busy writing the same royai-gets-married-and-has-babies fic over and over again. actually never mind i greatly prefer that to all the pedophilia. but thats another Other post, that unlike this incredibly niche topic some other people have almost definitely made before me)

the thing about grido is you could make a huge tragic thing about it being unrequited and frankly thats Fair, greed does not seem one to settle down in a relationship and bido likely has a lot of self worth issues that would prevent him from confessing his feelings. but you cannot deny that greed cared about him. he praises him, he pats him on the head (!!)

he COMPLETELY breaks down after he realizes he killed him. bido was so important to greed, as were the rest of the chimeras of course but i think theres a valid argument to be made that bido in particular was special to him. theyve got a few things in common actually that i find interesting:

both like to just chill on roofs??? when greed is in lings body he sometimes just hangs out on top of a roof. bido does this too

they could have hung out on roofs together.......maybe thats why greed likes to be up there. because he hung out with bido on roofs a lot. please consider this possibility

both of them are accidentally rude to children. the same children in fact

greed is like 200 and looks 30 while bido is middle-aged and people think he is a baby for some reason?????

okay this is just straight up a headcanon and has no actual basis in the text or subtext of fma but I Think Bido Is Trans and was cast out by his family in his youth and greed would understand that experience!!!! having left his own terrible family because they wanted him to be someone he wasnt

and then there are the differences:

greed is very outgoing and bido is mostly pretty anxious, though he has outbursts of confidence; that might be because greed being nice to him has built up his self-esteem (the way he calls himself cool/awesome when he escapes from the elrics, directly followed by greed complimenting his skills, really makes me think this is the case)

one is tall and lean........the other...is short and fat....... i know its cliche but let me have this

bido overthinks things. greed is a jock. with their powers combined they can do things at a mostly reasonable pace (as long as bido doesnt just go along with whatever greed wants which is probably most of the time what happens)

bido is outwardly inhuman and weird-looking but is incredibly caring and hard-working and loyal and sweet. greed is the sexiest motherfucker alive but hes literally the personification of a deadly sin and at his core he is technically just a rock made of pain. but below these layers both of them want the exact same thing which is to care about others and be cared for in return

also you know that post about how ships between immortal people and super young adults (or worse, teenagers) are OUT and instead we should have stories about immortal people dating 40-something accountants. bido is the 40-something accountant. except not an accountant. you know what im getting at though hes an Established Adult

and bido DESERVES it, he deserves to be loved by the person he cares about more than anything, he has been through so much and gotten nothing but pain and he needs something good for a change!!! and greed DESERVES someone who will love him with all his heart and make him feel wanted no matter what. just, listen to me okay, they would make each other so happy

so!!! there are MANY reasons this ship is interesting and a million different ways you could go about exploring it and there is just NONE of it out there. for some reason the chimera that gets shipped the most with greed is dolcetto (though ive seen martel as well) and i think that is probably because they are more attractive to people (and also id wager more than a few dollars people simply see a dogman and his boss and go wild for the petplay angle). like you dont see any greed/roa either and thats very telling since roa appears with the other two almost every time and nothing about him is different except hes older and not as. pretty i guess???? in my humble onion hes hotter than either dolcetto or martel but thats neither here nor there

the important thing about bidos relationship to greed is that he might not have been transmuted with an animal with a strong sense of loyalty, but he didnt NEED to be, to be loyal to greed. he loved him entirely because he was human. and in the end he did the most for him out of any of the chimeras. unfortunately it was via dying but through the power of imagination we can collectively ignore that and pretend both he and greed survived, and greed went back to his original sexy, sexy body, and they made out on a roof for several consecutive hours. thats how im coping at least. thank you so much for listening to my unhinged rambling about lizard man who dies of fullmetal alchemist (gay edition)

#fullmetal alchemist (fullmetal alchemist)#bido #fma greed #grido

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greenhatsinthesky · 4 years

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lockdown film no. 13 - Paris Is Burning (1990) dir. Jennie Livingston

09/04/2020

as a queer, this is essential viewing. watched it with a bunch of pals remotely

- this was such a beautiful film

- like in terms of documentary it was one of the best ive seen it was so alive

- I loved how they did do talking heads interviews but not just in a room with a black background they were all in their natural habitat like doing their makeup or smoking in their dressing rooms

- there was a lot I didnt know about drag culture

- and people think they know about it because they’ve seen drag race on iplayer but that is not all it is

- Madonna didnt invent vogueing. Educate your fucking self.

- also I didnt know how much of mainstream society had been impacted by drag culture that people just do not recognise and that makes me really mad - like if you’ve ever talked about realness or throwing shade or told someone to work you are referring to drag culture created by queer people of colour and people need to recognise that because those people did not bring all this culture to society just for people to erase the mark that they made on the world.

- the section where they were talking about how the goal is to pass as your straight counterpart really hit me

- the amount of just bodies in this film was amazing

- the fact that they talked a lot about children who were rejected by their parents and came to drag searching for family to fill the void was really moving. They just want family and ball culture and houses and mothers give the children that

- those two boys drinking Fanta on the street were my favourite. So wise

- “They treat each other like sisters, or brothers… or mothers. You know, like, I say ‘that’s my sister’ because she’s gay too and I’m gay, and she’s a drag queen or whatever.”

- they gave so much justice to people of colour from different backgrounds in drag and that made me really happy. Like obviously those people gave themselves justice but this was in a really mainstream context

- seeing willi ninja vogueing was an ethereal experience

- “But this is a new meaning of family. It wasn’t a question of a man and a woman and children, which we grew up knowing was a family. It’s a question of a group of human beings in a mutual bond.”

- honestly the whole bit where there was drama about if the coat was a men’s or a women’s coat was so intense

- OPULENCE

- “So this is New York City. And this is what the gay life is about, right?”

- I haven’t really acknowledged how brave every person in this film is for simply living as themselves in this time period. I mean, I’m a trans person and I know that if I was living in the same time as this was I would not have had the courage that they did to live as myself. I would have tried, but the extent to which they all were themselves is one of the most inspirational things.

- every person in the lgbtq+ community needs to see this film. It’s our history. And we need to know who came before us to allow us to live with the freedom that we have now

- so many of the cast died before they could ever see the impact they made on society and that is heartbreaking

- and the fact that Venus died before the film was even finished is one of the saddest things. She was 23

- I loved that throughout the film dorian Corey was essentially just monologuing and giving incredible wise gems. Her end monologue was beautiful

- “In a religious community they wanna pray together a lot, right? Well, this gay community… they might wanna be together.”

#paris is burning #jennie livingston #drag #lgbtq #queer cinema #transgender #dorian corey #pepper labeija #venus xtravaganza #octavia st. laurent #willi ninja #angie xtravaganza #junior labeija #vogue #history #lockdown film no. 13 #lockdown films #rob out

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butterflies-dragons · 3 years

Note

Do you have any doubts that Sansa is the girl in grey? Is there strong grey imagery around Sansa?

I believe Sansa is the grey girl yes, but only GRRM has that answer.

About grey imagery around Sansa, I wrote about it here and there.

Grey is the main Stark color. Their sigil is a grey direwolf in a white field. Stark men wear grey cloaks, Winterfell is made of grey granite, Grey eyes is a Stark feature, etc.

There are some instances where Sansa actually wears or it is said that she will wear a grey cloak:

1.- Her first encounter with Dontos (false Florian) in the Red Keep's Godswood: "Sansa threw a plain grey cloak over her shoulders and picked up the knife she used to cut her meat. If it is some trap, better that I die than let them hurt me more, she told herself. She hid the blade under her cloak."

It is very curious that Dontos was also wearing grey during that first secret encounter: "He wore a dark grey robe with the cowl pulled forward, but when a thin sliver of moonlight touched his cheek, she knew him at once by the blotchy skin and web of broken veins beneath. "Ser Dontos," she breathed, heartbroken. "Was it you?"

2.- Cersei gave her a white and silver maiden cloak for her wedding to Tyrion. Stark colors are grey and white tho... I think in this case the silver is there instead of the grey of House Stark. I'm not sure if this is a mistake or not. "Cersei Lannister ignored the question. "The cloak," she commanded, and the women brought it out: a long cloak of white velvet heavy with pearls. A fierce direwolf was embroidered upon it in silver thread. Sansa looked at it with sudden dread. "Your father's colors," said Cersei, as they fastened it about her neck with a slender silver chain."

Curiously enough, Tyrion wore Targaryen colors to marry Sansa lol

3.- Littlefinger planned for Alayne to reveal her true identity as Sansa Stark wearing a maiden cloak with the Stark colors grey and white: "Jon Arryn's bannermen will never love me, nor our silly, shaking Robert, but they will love their Young Falcon . . . and when they come together for his wedding, and you come out with your long auburn hair, clad in a maiden's cloak of white and grey with a direwolf emblazoned on the back . . . why, every knight in the Vale will pledge his sword to win you back your birthright.

From my answer about certain ship foreshadowing:

What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister?

In the shadow of the Wall, the direwolf brushed up against his fingers. For half a heartbeat the night came alive with a thousand smells, and Jon Snow heard the crackle of the crust breaking on a patch of old snow. Someone was behind him, he realized suddenly. Someone who smelled warm as a summer day. When he turned he saw Ygritte. She stood beneath the scorched stones of the Lord Commander’s Tower, cloaked in darkness and in memory. The light of the moon was in her hair, her red hair kissed by fire. When he saw that, Jon’s heart leapt into his mouth. “Ygritte,” he said. “Lord Snow.” The voice was Melisandre’s. Surprise made him recoil from her. “Lady Melisandre.” He took a step backwards. “I mistook you for someone else.” At night all robes are grey. Yet suddenly hers were red. He did not understand how he could have taken her for Ygritte. She was taller, thinner, older, though the moonlight washed years from her face. Mist rose from her nostrils, and from pale hands naked to the night. “You will freeze your fingers off,” Jon warned. “If that is the will of R’hllor. Night’s powers cannot touch one whose heart is bathed in god’s holy fire.” “You heart does not concern me. Just your hands.” “The heart is all that matters. Do not despair, Lord Snow. Despair is a weapon of the enemy, whose name may not be spoken. Your sister is not lost to you.” “I have no sister.” The words were knives. What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister? Melisandre seemed amused. “What is her name, this little sister that you do not have?” “Arya.” His voice was hoarse. “My half-sister, truly …” “… for you are bastard born. I had not forgotten. I have seen your sister in my fires, fleeing from this marriage they have made for her. Coming here, to you. A girl in grey on a dying horse, I have seen it plain as day. It has not happened yet, but it will.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon VI

Earlier in this chapter, Jon was thinking about Arya and her situation (trapped with the Boltons), and he was frustrated for not being able to help her. Then he remembered Ygritte, he confused Melisandre for Ygritte.

So, reading all the context:

What do you know of my heart, priestess? = This is about Ygritte. He is still hurt and mourning for her.

What do you know of my sister? = This is about Arya and her situation.

This is an excellent example of how GRRM plays with our minds with his tricky words:

“At night all robes are grey. Yet suddenly hers were red”. He is introducing us to the Grey Girl and her true identity.

Jon thinks he is seeing Ygritte but he was actually seeing Melissandre.

Melisandre and Jon also believe this grey girl of the visions is Arya Stark, but the person trapped with the Boltons is Jeyne Poole. And later, Alys Karstark was not even wearing a “grey” cloak.

For me the grey girl is neither of them. The answer is hidden in this line: “At night all robes are grey. Yet suddenly hers were red”.

***

"At night all robes are grey" means all the confusion about the grey girl's true identity: Arya or Jeyne or Alys Karstark.

"Yet suddenly hers were red" means that the girl with the grey cloak will be a redhead, like Ygritte and Melisandre the two women Jon was confusing.

So, Sansa as the grey girl makes a lot of sense, she is a redhead and she is a Stark, and grey is the main Stark color.

And this is not the first time that Jon confused Ygritte with another female. Jon dreamed of a ghastly grey direwolf wandering around the Crypts of Winterfell, that seems to be Lady’s Shade:

The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. “Ygritte?” he whispered. “Forgive me. Please.” But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his her golden eyes shining sadly through the dark . .

—A Storm of Swords - Jon VIII

Despite Jon assuming the direwolf was a "he," I strongly suspect it was Lady's Shade. Lady is buried at Winterfell, not Grey Wind. Lady was beheaded with Ice, so her fur would be spotted with blood. And Lady was said to have sad eyes.

So, Jon is always confusing Ygritte with another redheads...

From my Dunk & Jon meta:

Maybe I’m seeing too much here, but the reference to Alysanne Osgrey [Os-Grey] makes me think of Sansa Stark, because:

Sansa shared a lot of parallels with Good Queen Alysanne.

The surname Osgrey has the word grey in it.

Alysanne Osgrey became a Silent Sister.

Silent Sisters always wear grey.

Silent Sisters are known as the Stranger’s wives.

According to Melissandre, the Grey Girl of her visions is Jon Snow’s Sister.

The Grey Girl will probably be Sansa Stark.

Grey is also the color of House Stark, so Sansa is, in a way, a Grey Girl.

Jon is a man that will defeat death and come back to life, like the Stranger that walks between the two worlds.

The Stranger’s face is half animal, like Jon who is a warg, half man and half beast.

From my Jon/Sansa/Winterfell meta:

The stone is strong = The walls of Winterfell = Alayne Stone = Sansa Stark.

Sansa Stark has a lot of stone imagery around her.

Winterfell’s walls are made of grey granite. Grey is also a color of House Stark and I believe that Sansa will be the girl in grey on a dying horse from Melisandre’s vision.

As the Heir to Winterfell, Sansa was practically transformed into a stone castle, Winterfell, and the north itself, since the one that controlled her would obtain all her lands and power. Or, to use the euphemism from the Books, Sansa Stark was the “key to the north.”

Sansa reflects about this objectification in the Books and gives us one of the saddest lines in ASOIAF, especially coming from a girl who yearns to be loved and always dreamed of getting married: “No one will ever marry me for love,” (because everyone only wants her for her claim to Winterfell and the north).

Tyrion associates Sansa’s rejection of his advances as icy courtesy and compared that rejection with a castle wall that he never got to break:

“You hide behind courtesy as if it were a castle wall.” “Courtesy is a lady’s armor,” Sansa said. Her septa had always told her that.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa III

Sansa’s misery was deepening every day. Tyrion would gladly have broken through her courtesy to give her what solace he might, but it was no good.

—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion IV

He wanted to reach her, to break through the armor of her courtesy.

—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII

The castle wall that armored Sansa and Tyrion never got to break is a clear reference to Winterfell:

He remembered Winterfell as he had last seen it. Not as grotesquely huge as Harrenhal, nor as solid and impregnable to look at as Storm’s End, yet there had been a great strength in those stones, a sense that within those walls a man might feel safe.

—A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XI

And certainly, Sansa feels stronger and protected within the walls of Winterfell:

Sansa stuck her fingers through the top, grabbed a handful of snow, and flung it full in his face. Petyr yelped, as the snow slid down under his collar. “That was unchivalrously done, my lady.” “As was bringing me here, when you swore to take me home.” She wondered where this courage had come from, to speak to him so frankly. From Winterfell, she thought. I am stronger within the walls of Winterfell.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

Sansa feeling stronger within the walls of Winterfell, sounds pretty similar to “the stone is strong” line from Bran quote cited above.

Later, while descending from the Eyrie to the Gates of the Moon, Mya Stone tells Sansa that “a stone is a mountain’s daughter.”

Men come and go. They lie, or die, or leave you. A mountain is not a man, though, and a stone is a mountain’s daughter. I trust my father, and I trust my mules. I won’t fall.” She put her hand on a jagged spur of rock, and got to her feet. “Best finish. We have a long way yet to go, and I can smell a storm.”

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

One of Winterfell’s possible meanings is “wintry mountain(s).” And Sansa Stark is “The northern girl. Winterfell’s daughter”.

As the daughter of Petyr Baelish, Alayne Stone also becomes the Heir to Harrenhal, another great castle made of strong stone. Only dragon fire was able to melt Harrenhal’s stone walls:

Stone does not burn, Harren had boasted, but his castle was not made of stone alone. […] And even stone will crack and melt if a fire is hot enough. The riverlords outside the castle walls said later that the towers of Harrenhal glowed red against the night, like five great candles… and like candles, they began to twist and melt, as runnels of molten stone ran down their sides.

—The World of Ice and Fire - The Reign of the Dragons: The Conquest

Moreover we have the parallels that Sansa shares with Jenny of Oldstones. And Oldstones serves us as an example of the strength of the stone.

Just like Winterfell was the stronghold of the ancient Kings of Winter, Oldstones was the stronghold of the ancient River Kings (House Mudd of Oldstones), both dynasties descendants of the First Men. And if we read about Oldstones, thinking about Winterfell is an inevitability:

They reached Oldstones after eight more days of steady rain, and made their camp upon the hill overlooking the Blue Fork, within a ruined stronghold of the ancient river kings. Its foundations remained amongst the weeds to show where the walls and keeps had stood, but the local smallfolk had long ago made off with most of the stones to raise their barns and septs and holdfasts. Yet in the center of what once would have been the castle’s yard, a great carved sepulcher still rested, half hidden in waist-high brown grass amongst a stand of ash. The lid of the sepulcher had been carved into a likeness of the man whose bones lay beneath, but the rain and the wind had done their work. The king had worn a beard, they could see, but otherwise his face was smooth and featureless, with only vague suggestions of a mouth, a nose, eyes, and the crown about the temples. His hands folded over the shaft of a stone warhammer that lay upon his chest. Once the warhammer would have been carved with runes that told its name and history, but all that the centuries had worn away. The stone itself was cracked and crumbling at the corners, discolored here and there by spreading white splotches of lichen, while wild roses crept up over the king’s feet almost to his chest.

—A Storm of Swords - Catelyn V

Despite the pass of time the foundations of Oldstones remained and the stones were even used by the smallfolk to rise new buildings. The stone is really strong.

What also remained despite the centuries was the tomb of King Tristifer IV Mudd, also known as the Hammer of Justice, which immediately reminds me of the crypts of Winterfell and its stone kings sitting on their thrones with their swords across their laps.

And just like songs are still sung about a girl named Jenny from Oldstones who found true love with a Targaryen prince, I’m pretty sure that many songs will be sung about Sansa Stark from Winterfell and her own Targaryen prince.

Finally, is worth mentioning that Stark means “strong” in German. And there’s a theory about House Strong (extinguished) being linked to House Stark.

Stone = Strong = Stark

So by saying the stone is strong, we are also saying the stone is Stark.

Alayne Stone is Sansa Stark.

***

There you have it.

Thanks for your message ♡

#sansa stark #jonsa #anon asks

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menalez · 4 years

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radblr’s consistent tendency towards monthly slap fights over who’s had the least contact with men are some of the saddest attempts at gaining status i’ve seen in my life. no one outside this insular circle cares about who is a gold star lesbian.

LICHERALLY LMAOO... ive been in lesbian spaces and literally even all the goldstar lesbians ive come by don’t give a fuck?? the most ive experienced was like “have you ever been with a man?” “unfortunately” “oh, damn” “yeah, sucks” and that’s the end of that lmao. that’s why i made that post saying these women are clearly not secure in their sexuality bc no one who’s secure would dedicate their blog to arguing a bunch of lesbians are somehow bi bc of their sexual history. which leads to the question.. why ARE they so obsessive and insecure about their sexuality? 🤔

#anonymous

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aestheticvoyage2018 · 6 years

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Day 292: Friday October 19, 2018 - “Toast To Shane”

It never crosses your mind that you won’t see one of your old buddies ever again - always seems enough to just know those good ones are out there living a good life and you hope you’ll see them on down the road somewhere and laugh a loud laugh telling old stories in front of our wives and kids. It’s a shock to the soul to learn one of the best has passed on. Remembering to love/live each 86,400 with a heavy heart today for you Shane. I’m blasting the Metallica all weekend in your honor.

Woke this morning to see a post about my old buddy Shane in my news feed. Shane is NEVER on the facebook so it caught my attention. No sooner than I had comprehended it, James had seen it too. “Did Shane die???” “Yea” Wooof. The air went out of me. Just last month I was in James’ living room talking about how we gotta find a way to get us all together - that we had to connect with Shane. Later that week he died in a single car accident. None of us knew. This private, kept to himself, family man, was gone. And we were in shock. I wrote the above paragraph and helped get the word out and my buddies followed with their own tribute, and some love and respect was shared spreading the tears out throughout the whole day....other guys being grateful to know. His sister made contact with me, and I cried some more. Got some more details. Talked about what we could do. Just blown back by the Universe. We had a group text going, as I assume is normal in these situations, sharing funny stories and memories together throughout the day. Cliff reminded us that it was Shane that pulled him into our friend group. If I knew that, Id longed forgotten. Terrible that the story ends, just like that. An old teammate, an old friend, and well known nice guy and good person was gone. I wished for a chance to connect with him one more time and felt a huge whole that I couldnt, no mater what, now. Heartbreaking. Fire and Rain.

His obit talked about him being a good Iowa and Cubs fan, and the post that drew my attention was about how Shane would have worn an Iowa shirt on MSU/UM weekend. And so I donned my own Iowa shirt and walked down the road to the bar on the corner. One of my favorite stories was the night before graduation, the guy that barley ever drank with us, got overly excited about Cliff’s tequila and had a fun memorable end to our college careers. I told the bartender about Shane, and my buddies, and she poured out some good Mexican tequila for all of us and helped me toast to my friend. One of the few days Ive totally hated AC’s job - having to walk this day alone. I hugged the bartender and she hugged me back, sharing, in her line of work, shes seen this more than shed like to admit. I was glad that she knew what to do. I dont especially like Tequila. I could picture his goofy smile getting a kick out of the whole situation, best as it could be.

I walked back in cold and silence thinking about how this was our fate, but to go too soon, is just not fair. I cried some more, for his wife, and his daughter. I sat out in the backyard in the moonlight and smoked a cigar and thought about how Shane was one of those big trees. Loveable, respectable, sound. His flaw being hard to stay connected with. We pre-dated facebook after all! His sister shared that they didnt even know how to get into his facebook because instead of deleting it, he set some random password that even he wouldnt know....thats our guy. And if that turkey wouldve just deleted it, we really would have had no clue about his passing - his family having no idea how to get ahold of us after all. And that was both the happiest and saddest part of all. James texted me, and reminded how great it was that we had him in our life at all. Amen, brothers. My only hope is that the rest of my small circle of friends out live me....Shane, probably my closest and most disconnected friend was a devastating loss today. I’ll always wish I couldve seen one more time.

Ive been blessed. Ive never really to deal with this. Pushing 40, and skirting tragedy for the most part, among those I love the most. I put the cigar out with a sincere deep down rooted desire to do more and be connected more. Sad that losing will make you feel that way - that you can do more. But how else to fill that hole? 3am, I went to sleep on the couch.

Song: Metallica - The Wait

Quote: “It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were . . . and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.

So soon you will be in that part of the book where you are holding the bulk of the pages in your left hand, and only a thin wisp of the story in your right. You will know by the page count, not by the narrative, that the Author is wrapping things up. You begin to mourn its ending, and want to pace yourself slowly toward its closure, knowing the last lines will speak of something beautiful, of the end of something long and earned, and you hope the thing closes out like last breaths, like whispers about how much and who the characters have come to love, and how authentic the sentiments feel when they have earned a hundred pages of qualification.

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? ~Donald Miller

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