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#isn’t it how we learn to love?
hey-its-sybarite · 4 months
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Confession: I have been obsessed with Louis de Pointe du Lac for a long, long time. Dream Lestat, this taunting, menacing, affectionate, theatrical, bloodied, sexy ghost that is explicitly Louis’s point of view, Louis’s guilt and Louis’s longing? This spectre of Lestat is by far my favourite version of Lestat across the Vampire Chronicles media.
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When you are gone from them, the people who love you the most try to feel you and remember you, keep you with them in a way that’s closest to what they love so much about you. I love Louis. Louis loves Lestat. And so, I love Louis’s Lestat.
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magical-misfit · 2 years
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Thinking about that one post that was like “Gerard wants to stay in the castle when war comes because he spent his formative years struggling to stay alive and survive and now he’s expected to do it again”
Like…yes you get it.
Gerard was ten.
And at ten years old he knew death better than others. He watched his first friend get eaten alive as part of the food chain at work, he nearly died at the teeth of a dog because he didn’t understand why it was weird for a talking frog to address a guard like a prince. A ten year old experienced near death for the first time and people still have the audacity to call him a coward.
He stayed in that pond for god knows how long (he states he’s thirty but we don’t know how long he and Elody have been married) and he waited for ages for someone to come find him, anyone really. That heron probably came by every day, same with the hunters and their dogs. How much death and injury did you think Gerard saw over those years in the pond? How much bravery and cleverness do you think he had to muster up in himself so as not to get eaten? No wonder he latched onto Elody and the castle life so quickly.
And when war comes at a time when he’s supposed to be free, a time when the curse has been broken and everything is fine, of course he flees. Of course he claims they can stay in their castle and be okay.
Because Gerard knows death. And he knows that if he leaves the castle again, he’s not sure he’ll make it back this time.
And he’s right. He doesn’t.
(At least that version of him anyway)
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quietlyblooms · 24 days
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do i get on to start writing out chiyo’s love and deepspace verse?? maybe 👀 it’s definitely going to be subject to change as i get caught up with the story, but i think the hyper-fixation is too strong to not indulge it a lil
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see the thing about the way people are freaking out about a certain celebrity actually having boundaries and acting as if it’s part of the job to just. not—all that tells me is you don’t want celebs to be human and god forbid they’re like. disabled or neurodivergent or something because there’s no way people are going to agree that yes they need accommodations that’s a pretty bare minimum thing to have so they can keep doing their job. no the fact is there’s people out there who don’t care if our performers die as long as they can exploit them and too many fans, who don’t even get a cent out of it, are not only encouraging that behaviour but acting that we are, too, entitled to what our faves should not ever have to give. and the fact is you don’t need to know the personal reasons behind their boundaries. you will get more from your faves if the collective fandom treats them with respect that’s an obvious fact and yet. people still don’t let that change their behaviour
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krbkss · 1 year
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mha 395
has anyone brought this up yet </3
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milflewis · 7 months
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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chipjrwibignaturals · 8 months
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literally so fucked up i can’t realistically just do socio-communication research my entire life. why must i have a “career” to “make money” and “care for myself”. i want to study fujoshis.
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m0tel6mxzzy · 19 days
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s3 of gossip girl is so silly….u mean to tell me the blair and serena who homewrecked relationships previously suddenly are all moral and self righteous when jenny attempts to. as if vanessa deserved it when blair did it, serena doing it w dan while blair was w him was later forgiveable, but jenny is the one that needs to be cast out of new york. a whole ass hypocritical mess
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local-soda-can · 1 year
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i have two live reactions(as my friends like to call them) this is one of them :D
(this is part 1/??? of this live reaction)
me: oh boy! my other friend wants to also rp their own nightmare time episode! let’s see how this goes :3
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(@pastriibunz <— this is the friend btw go check them out :DDD)
#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#nightmare time#nmt#kai drew#oc#<<<< technically friends oc#THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST A ROLLERCOASTER BRO-#so the hatchetfield gang(which consists of paul. emma. bill. charlotte. and ted + guest appearances of melissa. mr davidson. and sam)#they get a vacation to unington and go to see a KAI DREW SHOW‼️‼️‼️#also. THIS IS THREE YEARS AFTER TKWDLM EVENTS#PAUL AND EMMA REMEMBER(somehow. i forgot if we talked about how-) SO THEYRE JUST GOING INSANE SEEING KAI#after the gang get invited to stay at kai’s house/joey drew studios#SO NOW THEYRE ALL SILLY AND A BIG FAMILY#THEN we get the first “nightmare” in this nightmare time#…….child labor ig-#ok so- unington is like SUPER dependent on kai and they have her do SO MANY GODDAMN CHORES#BUT NEVER FEAR! the hatchetfield gang are here to help with the chores :D#in the process. they learn just how awful unington is towards kai#(this isn’t cannon to actual unington. they’re actually very nice and love kai :3)#ANYWAYS ted finds out about kai lore and knows about the 9 Year Old Incident™️#then they all regroup are are just like: “THIS TOWN IS AWFUL TOWARDS HER☹️☹️☹️☹️”#as they regroup THIS FUCKING BITCH OF A MOTHER IS MEAN TO KAI#LIKE. SHE YELLS AT HER AND SHINES A LIGHT IN HER FACE ALL BECAUSE SHE DIDNT READ TO HER KID#FUCK KID 3’S MOM ALL MY HOMIES HATE HER#anyways. so emma is ready to throw hands-#the mom runs(like a COWARD) and the gang bring kai back home
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vogelmeister · 5 months
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been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently
#i love them but im gonna explain#i don’t want this to boil over like the twins did#but one of my friends i feel so cast off sometimes#i get it bc shes full time adult job employed now#in healthcare no less#but im just getting fully annoyed at her lack of availability and it makes me sad#im getting even sadder actually bc she also always seems to have time to hang with her uni friends whuch hurts#like im like okay i know you have this from 6-7 so how about we meet for dinner at 7:30 bc i wanna see you casually and she says no#and i think i really need to talk to her bc it makes me sad and then i feel slapped in the face#even on nights out we always have to go home early. which my friend basically said:#i think in future if you wanna go home you can but others shouldn’t have to too#bc my other friend got so sad she was forced to come back early and i was like yea i would have liked to have sat at manly with yall#bc i feel we don’t do this any more#i honestly think it’s better to just let her figure it out and go#i don’t want me to sweep so much shit under the rug until i despise her#bc i know this isn’t her fault i just wish she would let loose or make an effort#my other situation is my childhood best friend#i love her a lot she’s amazing. but but but. sometimes i feel she can be too protective of me.#it comes from a place of knowing me for so long#and i do trust her opinions on people who i surround myself with bc she fucking hated those twins#but sometimes i feel she has been treating me differently since my neurodivergence diagnosis#even with a certain high school friend she held this dislike even when i said she was not like the twins#bc she was hanging out with the twins at the 21st#like this girl was also having her issues with the twins and was the person in the firing line of the breakup#even when i was in nl she was so worried about me and its nice to have her have my back#bc after that guy kissed me directly on the lips she suddenly became concerned about ppl taking advantage of me#and its like to me great she cares but also i did in fact learn from it#but she gets super defensive when ppl take advantage of me and i just wanna her to step back#i just feel sometimes i don’t need her feeling like she needs to protect me or that i need to hang neurodivergence up like a flag#idk its a lot. thank u for listening
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delta-piscium · 2 years
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strongly believe Eddie and El would just get each other, sure they’re opposites on the surface but they have a lot of similarities with being misunderstood and viewed as monsters etc, also their autistic swag would bring them together
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bringslife · 3 months
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really obsessed with the contrast of 15 being super gentle with 14 & acting like the bigeneration wasnt a bad thing & then we learn in episode 2 that the bigeneration was actually traumatic to the point that he was terrified of facing maestro
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persimnon · 11 months
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mayday, mayday!
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 4 months
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#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
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zappedbyzabka · 1 year
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Kreerence <3 (gnaws on ceiling fan)
#The way Kreese is so possessive and obsesssive about Johnny is so good#The way Kreese would not hesitate to kill someone for him. He’s so fuckin obssessed he nearly killed JOHNNY#We never see him show a soft spot unless it’s with Johnny or women….and don’t even get me started on what that implies#He would literally throw Daniel off a cliff ZERO hesitation if Johnny wanted it. He would be elated actually#Daniel is nothing more than a pest to him. it’d be like squishing a bug in his eyes#but alas Johnny isn’t into killing people. He’s still so soft at heart even after all his training#and ​still seems to LIKE Daniel (a nice guy with a good soul and gentle hands) in some ways. which is so damn annoying to Kreese#And gosh Johnny’s love for him. So wild and confused. wanting his love back and to make him happy. Make him TELL him he’s happy#Kreese was at his absolute lowest after he lost Johnny for his own actions#for hurting whats precious to him. For losing everything important#That’s why he didn’t leave Johnny alone throughout the entirety of CK#Johnny really said ‘fuck off and learn to treat me right’#Kreese: WaH Baby no I care about you more than anyone come back—#can’t wait to see how this pathetic❤️ behaviour continues in the new season#But what would have happened if Johnny had stayed after the choking? came back the next day to Kreese who was like a bitey dog with its tai#between it’s legs. staring at the marks on Johnny’s neck with disgust. he likes leaving his marks on Johnny#Likes hurting people with no mercy—But god. not Johnny. At least Not this much. How can he possibly make it up?#He does end up making it up. Gets Johnny back by slowly allowing himself to love better#at least with Johnny. Now they cuddle on the couch together and buy each other holiday gifts#Gosh I could talk about them so much#john kreese#kreerence#tw possessive behavior#tw unhealthy relationship#Turned healthy
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cyberllfe · 1 year
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Hi. I'm the ghost that likes to read your stuff. I just read Made For Me, and it was quite the fun ride. I unfortunately cannot leave you a quality review, as I am no wordsmith, but you did inspire me to dust off this fic I was working on:
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Like I said, writing isn't my forte. In theory, I can discern what divides quality smut from an attempt that has room for growth. In practice it's a bit harder to demonstrate (laughs). My writing reeks of amateur, but just maybe, you can have an iota of fun like I did reading your stuff.
ashdksuds YELLING
thank you!! I’m so pleased you enjoyed tailor nines, but not only that, you brought me a SNIPPET? you have my curiosity and my attention. I LOVE the vibe of this. The tension! The immediacy! His commanding presence 😏 sounds to me like someone’s caused a little trouble and is about to find out the consequences ✨
thank you, again, bc it’s lovely to receive this sort of thing. it always means a lot to have a work enjoyed, but to inspire another writer is even better. no such thing as too many filthy hot fics 😌
just one thing: I think you’re selling yourself pretty short, honestly. being an amateur isn’t the same as being a Bad Writer™, and besides “good” writing is so subjective (especially within fandom) that it’s not the most useful label. I think what we as part of a fandom look for is the heart you find in fic, and that comes from an author pouring part of themselves into it in a way you don’t always get with the source material. write what you want, what you enjoy, and it’ll reach other people who’ll enjoy it too.
you should count me among them 👀
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