#it chapter two imagines
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inkedberries · 8 months ago
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expanding on the thought of kudou getting the call sign 'hero' and afo getting irked by it for some reason
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dinomintz · 6 days ago
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With Big Shoes to Fill Chapter 3 is UP!!!
Here are doodles of non-spoiler scenes*
I also have comms open ooooohh aaaahhh
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keferon · 3 months ago
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Two Peas in a Pod: part 7/?
I'm so sorry for the delay. I struggled...
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"Jazz?" Blaster calls just loud enough for his mer to hear him. Now that the initial meeting was over, he wanted to take advantage of the break. 
While understanding that the human was calling him over, Jazz was a bit hesitant that moving might start up the whole confrontation again. He glanced over to the other orca still floating a little ways away, •၊||၊၊၊ had his eyes closed and it looked like he was focused on dealing with the repercussions of his actions. His expression was twisted lightly in a restrained grimace with his right arm holding his side.  
Slowly Jazz pushed himself further away, before turning over and swimming to the pier.  
"Are you okay?" Blaster asked as he knelt at the edge. 
With an uneasy look, he shamefully admitted, "it could have gone better…" 
The chief vet speaks up before Blaster can, but not to Jazz, but into the radio. "Has anyone seen signs of reopening or blood?" 
The Vet Chief wanted to fully isolate them from you, to keep them in a transfer-crate, at least until the injuries had a low risk of reopening. 
Blaster shoots them an offended side-eye, as Jazz is literally right here. However, he pushed it aside, half listening to the radio chatter – all good from the sounds of it – and turned to what was more important. "Did he hurt ya?" 
They'll take him away. 
"I'm fine," he whispered, looking down as he placed a hand on his chest. It still stung, as the first hit was made with intent – he had gotten mad when it happened, did it show on my face, did they see it – and the rest, warning shots. "Just a bruise… it was more dizzying trying to keep away from him than anything."  
–if the team reports you showing signs of aggression, they'll… remove him. 
He hums in thought, eyes drifting momentarily as •၊||၊၊၊ disappeared from the surface. Blaster was a little nervous about that as he looked back at Jazz. "Do you think that you'll be okay, the two of you, I mean. Do you need us to separate–" 
They'll take him away. 
"No." Jazz insisted quickly, fighting to keep his voice low – behave – and shaking his head. "We should be fine now." 
Blaster knew there was more going on, seeing as Jazz was soft spoken and avoiding eye contact; an old habit of hiding himself when speaking to staff, but it would have to be a talk for later. When Jazz felt safe enough to open up. So instead, Blaster smiled and said, "Alright. But me and a few others will be keeping an eye on you both throughout the day. Just to make sure you're both comfortable as you can be. It might be a bit rocky for the first few days, but that's okay, we were expecting that." 
Jazz didn't respond, his attention had been captured by the other mer at the bottom of the pool, beneath him. He had been somewhat keeping an eye on him with his sonar, watching •၊||၊၊၊ slowly explore the tank.  
Though, Blaster was just barely able to spot the other orca from the surface, and honestly wouldn't have noticed if not for Jazz. Pressing the call button on his radio, Blaster looked to the staff, "we've passed the first hurdle, everyone. We'll move onto doing rotation monitoring. Fred and Josh, you'll remain for the first shift. Everyone else, business as usual till I get a schedule in order." 
"I've adjusted the medications and sedatives." The chief vet told Blaster, though didn't even look at him, as they were currently preoccupied sending messages on their phone. Not even a second later, Blaster's own was going off in his pocket.  
"I'll look over your recommendations after." He sneered at them, though the vet had already turned to leave.  
Then while folks celebrated the success and steadily wondered off to their main duties, Blaster's second brought up the mers breakfast from the kitchen. They set Jazz's down next to him, but held on to the other while they eyed the water with extreme caution.  
"Ah, ya, no." Blaster spoke up before they even began to wind up, holding his hands out for the food. "Give it here, we are not chucking anything at him."  
They snapped to him with wide, frightened eyes. Like Blaster hadn't been here to see the speeds that the wild mer had gone after Jazz. "You cannot be serious– you're going to attempt to pole feed him? Now–here? When they have the space to jump!?" 
"No." He said with rising irritation towards their attitude and their poor handling of the situation. "I'm going to treat him the same as Jazz."  
His second now looked flabbergasted, glancing between Jazz, him, out over the pool, and then back at him. "But–!" 
Blaster pointed at both Jazz and up at the pair watching on the viewing deck. He wasn't stupid, he wasn't being reckless, he had been taking everything into account. And honestly, if he wasn't so mad about how the wild mer had been treated – and was just about to be treated – during meals, he'd probably be shaking in anxiety right about now. With a heavy sigh, he then carefully pulled the bucket from their hands to set it with the other, "look… I'm not trying to force you to do something you don't feel comfortable with. You're welcome to leave, I'll handle the meals and hopefully by the week's end, everyone will be feeling comfortable when it's time for food." 
They took one last nervous glance at Jazz, before whispering – pointless, he could hear it clearly – "I don't think you can – or should rely on him to protect you… especially with how–"  
"You're right," Blaster said deliberately louder than a normal speaking volume, "I am responsible for my own choices and actions. Thank you, for your concern. We'll talk in more detail later." 
Thankfully taking the hint, they left.  
Then the area was silent for a moment, save for the sounds of dawn songbirds being overruled by the sound of the scavenging birds of the morning. Starting to beg or fight for bits of food across the aquarium yard. 
"They're right, you know." Jazz said weakly, still not looking at Blaster.  
There might be other staff up on the deck that oversaw his pool, but one of the perks to being outside was that voices didn't carry as far unless one was intentionally loud. So they might as well have been the only two here.  
It was just enough for words to come tumbling out, like he could talk freely once more. "I messed up, it wasn't his fault, he wants to be peaceful – I'm pretty sure, and I just… I think I ended up challenging him?" 
"Jazz, listen, they misunderstood." He leaned over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not expecting you to come to my rescue, or put yourself between me and him, or anything like that. I know very well that I may be putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation, and I'm ready to face whatever the outcome might be. But what I meant was, that with you here – just like this, with us together. You are showing him with your actions that you don’t see me as a threat. That by willing to be around me and allowing me to touch you, you’re showing trust. Jazz, buddy, you’re a far greater help than those goons posing up there." The last bit was meant to cause him to laugh, or at least smirk. 
But when Jazz still seemed like he didn't believe him, Blaster made a small gesture for Jazz to look. In turning his head to see •၊||၊၊၊, the mer was at the far end with only his head above the water and had a serious gaze fixed on Jazz.  
"It might not seem like it, even with what had just happened, but he's relying on you." He waved at the wild mer and smiled, before reaching for a bucket and held it up in offering. But •၊||၊၊၊ simply scowled further. 
"I don't think Mr. prowl-around-you-like-you're-breakfast relies on anyone." Jazz grumbles in dismay.  
Blaster chuckled and set the bucket back down, "well maybe Prowl, is waiting for you to invite him over for breakfast. He seems to hold some expectations of you." 
"Ya, he sure– wait, Prowl?" Jazz whipped his head back towards Blaster, finally looking at him again. 
"If it fits, it fits." He shrugged with an amused smile, "though, out of anyone here, it should be you that chooses a nickname for him for us to use. I don't want to keep addressing him namelessly or calling him 'the wild' one, and I don't want folks to think that us calling him 'buddy' is his name." Then he laughed as he glanced back out to the sour mer still watching them closely, "I mean, come on, does he look like a Buddy?" 
Jazz tried to stifle his laughter, "n-no." 
Good, good, Blaster was relieved to hear it. Jazz was starting to relax back into his usual self. Coming back up from the depths to the surface to breathe. "So, what will it be?" 
Jazz's smile had slowly begun to return and so did his hopeful enthusiasm, "I think Prowl is good." 
"I'll send out a notice to everyone." And be sure to tear down all those horrible sticky-note suggestions. "But I am going to still try and learn to say his name properly," Blaster then clapped the orca's shoulder before stretching, "so I hope you're ready to have the worst student ever." 
"You're going to learn Mer," Jazz asked in surprise. 
"Heh, I'm shit at learning languages, but I'd be happy if you want to share more of your world with me." He then brought them back to the next part of their day. "But first, breakfast. Want to ask Prowl to join us?" 
"I'll try." He said, before turning around. Though gave a slight pause and adjusted his stance so his side was facing Prowl. When he saw a slight shift in his expression, one that eased some tension in his brow, Jazz gave himself a mental pat on the back. Already a marked improvement.  
{You hungry, Prowler?} Jazz asked. It was sort of funny having a word he understood that could connect to the mer's name. He wasn't sure of the meaning of •၊||၊၊၊ yet, or if it had one. But prowling was something he did, so it still felt like Jazz had gained another tiny piece of who they were.  
{Yes.} He answered, rising enough that his shoulders could be clearly seen, side facing Jazz for a beat, before he slowly began to swim over. Caution or taking it easy due to discomfort, his moments caused only the smallest and softest of ripples. Like a silent hunter.  
Yet, it made Jazz’s smile shift a bit higher. Prowl is prowling.  
But for Blaster, his instincts were starting to claw up his spine, alerting him of a predator. He was forcing himself to relax and keep up his friendly smile by the time Prowl came within five feet of the pier.  
Prowl eyed him up and down as he came to a stop, then gently turned after a moment.  
"Oh, right!" Jazz abruptly speaking up in slight alarm cause Blaster to flinch – which in turn caused a moment of internal panic, because sudden movements are always a bad idea – but Jazz quickly reached up over the pier and grabbed the human by the legs – which caused Prowl to flinch, and oh-boy, was Blaster having flashbacks of close calls – twisting him so he sat with his shoulder turned towards Prowl. "Pretty sure that facing toward him is like telling him you want to challenge them."  
"R-really," Blaster asked, both trying to distract from his thundering heart and focus on the new information. 
"I think so? He kept telling me to stop doing it, before I realized what he was talking about, so it has to be some sort of an aggressive sign." They both looked back to Prowl, who seemed a little tense, but otherwise calm. {You okay, Prowler?} 
{Yes.} His voice firm and serious, but did not look at Jazz when he answered. 
"… Guess we're ready." We’re good, but he must still be uncomfortable with what happened. 
Blaster handed Jazz his bucket first, hoping it would make the next easier. But then Blaster paused, seeing a distant look in his mer's eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" 
"Nothing." Jazz fiddled with the bucket in his hands, but Blaster was still holding onto the handle. Not that taking it would be difficult, but it didn't feel like it was worth the effort.  
"Jazz…" he pressed softly. 
And Jazz retreated, "I… I don't feel hungry." 
At least he was being honest about it.  
Blaster had hoped that taking some time to talk would have helped to improve Jazz's current mental state. And it had a little. But his guilt over the misunderstanding with Prowl and the bad history with the chief vet were likely weighing too heavily on him. And as much as Blaster wanted to take the time and work through everything with Jazz, he couldn't right now, or rather Jazz would be unwilling.  
Because Prowl was present. Even with a language barrier, Blaster didn't expect Jazz to feel comfortable having a personal conversation with him so close. But if Jazz didn't eat, then it was likely that Prowl wouldn't either. The trust was thin as it was, and hesitating too long – and not being able to explain why – would only make rebuilding trust harder. So, offering to use the holding pool and close the gate wasn't something they could do at the moment. And he hated it.  
Blaster had to do something now to help restore Jazz's confidence and stop the spiralling of whatever thoughts were holding him back.  
Good thing he was prepared for Jazz possibly becoming stressed.  
"Hang on." Blaster said, his smile impish as he pulled the bucket back to set on the pier. Though, not wanting to risk Prowl backing off from him standing, he flopped back reaching for his bag strap, barely snagging it with the tips of his fingers. But he managed and pulled himself back up with it settling in his lap. "I've brought a little somethin." 
Jazz didn't seem interested but waited none the less. Watching as Blaster pull out a huge plastic food-container – ... okay, he was slightly curious now and a little annoyed, because if he was going to tease him–  
But then Blaster shook it with the biggest grin, and as the contents clunked around softly, Jazz's whole face lit up. Because what Blaster had just offered was the equivalent of a chocolate bar. There weren't many things that Blaster brought for him in a container, but there was only one that made that sound. "Moose jerky!?" 
"Shh! Not so loud." He glanced up at the other staff, like he was doing something that would get him in trouble. But it wasn't a secret that Blaster made these treats for Jazz. And while it still pissed off the chief vet, there was nothing they could do about it.  
It had caused a site wide outrage the first time he had done it. But orcas ate moose – the orca mers more so than the animals – even if it was mostly if there just happened to be one in front of them rather than an active hunting choice. But there was enough history, and with Blaster's dietary knowledge, he had won that battle.  
He just chose to mix it up a little, rather than bring in raw meat. Not so different than some sun-dried fish really. And Blaster personally prepared it to make sure it was safe. Seasoning was just sea salt, simple, but tasty.  
Jazz was now buzzing with eager energy. "Can I share with Prowl?" 
"You’d better," Blaster laughed as he opened it and handed Jazz two strips that were almost the size of dinner plates. He could have tried to use it to mend the trust between him and the wild mer. But Blaster knew it would help Jazz foster his relationship with Prowl and that was far more important. 
The whole time Prowl had been watching them and their exchange with intense focus, trying to figure out what was going on. So, when Jazz turned to him with a huge smile and held out what looked to be a piece of thin wood, he was wary.  
{It's good!} Jazz wanted to say it was amazing, but unfortunately 'good', 'okay', 'safe' was all he currently had to work with.  
After Prowl finally gave in and moved in close enough to take the offering, Jazz laid out on the surface. Careful not to get his food wet as he happily began to bite and tear small strips off. Taking delight in the satisfying sensation of the treat ripping and savouring the flavour as he chewed the tough meat.  
Seeing how much Jazz was enjoying himself, Prowl took a tentative bite and immediately understood why. The look of surprise on his face had the other two laughing.  
{Good, yes?}  
{Yes.} Prowl then followed Jazz's lead and relaxed on the surface, enjoying the first piece of decent food since he arrived. 
Blaster chuckled at the sight of the two of them and set aside the container to dig out his own personal stash to nibble on. "I've got more for you two sea otters, but only after you finish your breakfast."  
Smoothing things over by sharing snacks always opened opportunities for bonding. Good ol' comfort food saving the day. 
_________________________________________
Idk, this one felt very clunky to me, but I must move on -lays on the floor in defeat-
I'm now trying to put together a timeline of the all interactions that you share or like on your blog. Like a countdown clock to the flood/jailbreak, hitting all the angsty and fluffy notes, I want to make sure I can include everything. Q~Q
You and so many others have been showering me in praise and encouragement I want to live up to it. ♡(╥︣﹏᷅╥᷅)♡ I love you all, thank you so much!!
Going forward there is going to more Jazz and Prowl, without Blaster, I promise. Please forgive me and my long setups, my brain struggles with keeping things short, everything I write is a 200K+ slow burn. -cries-
-GLC
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OH HELL YEAH GIVE THOSE GUYS A MOOSE THEY DESERVE IT KDDKSHFV
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Blaster over there is having battles on all fronts possible alsjfnfjnf
Also I'm happy they can have proper food at least sometimes~ Although I can't help but think that like. Jazz is happy because this poor moose is kind of a rare treat. Nice occasion gift you know. And then Prowl also loves the moose but in more "I was eating nothing but raw potatoes for a while and now there's a properly seasoned and cooked meal again" way. You know. Cause mers have all kinds of different foods in their cities and stuff~ While humans just go "here's your fish".
Anyway haha. The scene is so cute I love itt~
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inkyrainstorms · 2 months ago
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There is a light, I feel it in me
but only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me
@aroace-get-out-of-my-face do you understand what this post did to my brain chemistry. Do you. You and anon, do you understand. Fuck, man
full comic under the cut!
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alienaliart · 3 months ago
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Some drawings that I made for the fanfic "Off Balance" by @mrslittletall 🩵 Read it here
I can't recommend it enough, I'm obsessed!
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saffusthings · 1 month ago
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second chances
mob boss! lando norris x reader
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part thirty-two: getting familiar
word count: 5.8k
warnings: this chapter includes allusions to abuse and abandonment. reader discretion is advised.
thirty-one | thirty-two | thirty-three
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He woke before even the sun rose. Before the traffic stirred. Before the world could remind him who he was.
The room lay silent and dim. An ember of gold light crept through half-closed curtains, washing the walls in muted dawn. And there she was—curled against him, one hand resting across his chest, her face nestled at the hollow of his shoulder as though she trusted him completely. 
As though he’d never taught her to be afraid.
He stayed perfectly still, breath caught in his throat, terrified to wake her. Then, for one fragile moment, Lando allowed himself to really look: the delicate angle of her nose, the gentle curve of her lips, the way her lashes cast shadows on her cheek. Her warm fingers pressed into his skin—like she’d been made to hold him, like her body understood precisely what he needed.
Lando swallowed hard and inhaled slowly. And in that quiet, the ache settled in his chest.
He could have woken up like this every day. He could have believed last night was about anything but desperation, adrenaline, and grief. He could have convinced himself that he hadn’t climbed into her bed bleeding and broken—asked her to soothe both his wounds and his darkness.
But Lando knew better. Always had.
Last night had never been meant to happen. Not like that. Not ever.
Y/N stirred, a soft murmur escaping her lips, and then her eyes fluttered open—still heavy with sleep—as she blinked up at him with that uncertain, waking look. Her hair framed her face in a tangle, her cheeks flushed with warmth, and when she offered him a sleepy smile, his heart nearly stopped.
She smiled as though it were the most natural thing in the world to wake beside him. As though she could never know fear as long as she was beside him. 
He could hardly breathe.
“Hi,” she whispered, voice rough with sleep, her eyelids half-lidded. He brushed a stray lock of hair from her forehead as gently as if he were handling a flame. 
“Hi.”
A breath caught in his chest as he took in the quiet weight of her gaze. The barest tenderness he could allow himself stirred in him, and before he even fully realized what he was doing, his thumb ghosted along her cheekbone, barely grazing her skin. It was as though the motion wasn’t something he controlled, but something that moved through him, a gesture as soft and fleeting as the glow of the early morning.
For a second, it felt as though the world held its breath. There, in the dim morning light, he cradled her face as though she was the most precious thing he’d ever held—her skin warm, her expression soft, eyes wide with something he couldn’t name. He watched her blink slowly, the warmth of his touch and the tenderness in his eyes passing between them silently, until she did the same, her gaze softening.
They were so close that the space between them felt like a breath waiting to be taken. She was the only thing in his world, the only thing that had ever felt real. He admired the curve of her lips, the gentle flush of color on her cheeks, and, for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to simply appreciate the warmth of her—of them.
She did the same. Her gaze traveled slowly from his lips to his eyes, and he saw her hesitate, unsure if she should say the things her eyes were clearly begging to ask. Her hand, as if it had a mind of its own, reached up to touch his chest, her fingers brushing lightly against the fabric of his shirt, where his heart beat too quickly for her to ignore.
He could feel the moment shifting in the space between them, pulling them closer without a single word.
He let his thumb trace her cheek again, slow and gentle. Her breath hitched. And it was there, in that quiet, that he realized he’d never needed anything more than he needed to hold this. Hold her.
"Thank you," he whispered, his voice tender in a way he hadn’t allowed himself before, afraid to shatter something too fragile to be handled by someone as rough as him. There was something in the sound of her soft breaths and the feel of her warm skin that had him so careful, too aware that this was something too precious for hands as rugged as his to hold. "For answering the door... for letting me in. For putting me back together piece by piece until I became some semblance of a man again."
Her chest rose and fell with a breath, and though she said nothing, he knew she felt it too.
For a heartbeat, she looked as if she might reach out again — like last night’s intimacy still belonged to both of them. But he couldn’t let her slip back into that illusion.
He sat up instead, pressing his palms flat against the mattress to steady himself. He shifted away just enough to hide the need in his eyes. “I… I shouldn’t have stayed.”
Her brow furrowed. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, voice low and resolute. “Last night… it shouldn’t have happened.”
She drew the sheet tighter around her bare shoulders, searching his face. He swallowed. “I was emotional. I’d just lost someone—someone I loved—and I didn’t know where else to go. You were kind to me, and I took advantage of that. Of you.”
Her mouth opened, but no words came. He kept his gaze anywhere but her – the divots on the sheets, the lights and shadows, the small details around her room that made it hers. “I’m not that man. I don’t cry on someone’s doorstep and end up in their bed because I can’t face my own grief. That isn’t fair—to you, or to me.”
She remained silent, and he dared not look at her.
Finally, he turned just enough to meet her eyes. “I’m grateful,” he whispered, lifting her hand and brushing his fingers across her wrist. “I mean that—thank you. You helped me when you didn’t have to.”
He paused, letting the moment hang between them. Then, he continued, his voice softer still, “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Oh.
Oh.
She let the words settle like heavy stones. "...Yeah. Yeah, f’course,” she tried to bring herself to give him a convincing smile. When she looked up at him, his gaze had drifted away from her face, his mind elsewhere, somewhere far out of reach.
His fingers ghosted over her wrist once, lingering.
“It won’t happen again.”
The corners of his lips turned up in a smile that appeared sad and hopeful at one somehow. Like there was something he was losing even now, but holding on to wherever he had left, clinging to it with the hope even of something lesser in its place. And then, softer, as if he was trying to make it hurt less—
“It wasn’t real.”
Even if, for him, it might’ve been the realest thing he’d ever felt.
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The silence after their conversation lingered longer than either of them knew what to do with.
The quiet stretched. Neither of them moved.
Eventually, she slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb the silence between them. The sheet wrapped loosely around her frame, her back turned to him as she crossed the room in search of something to wear, her steps light, almost apologetic. She didn’t look back—not because she didn’t want to, but because she wasn’t sure she could stand what she might see in his eyes.
Lando sat up against her headboard, shirtless, all tan muscles and toned shoulders with a spatter of beauty marks and purple brushstrokes constellated across the expanse of his torso. There were fingerprints on his ribs from a fight that had nothing to do with her—and yet she’d been the one to tend to the aftermath. She’d kissed those bruises. Held him while his hands shook and his mouth refused to explain.
They moved slowly—her toward the bathroom, him toward the edge of the bed — careful not to brush shoulders, not to speak unless they had to. It wasn’t hostile. Just… unsure. Like two people navigating the edges of a room neither of them had ever walked through before.
And still, she couldn’t stop noticing things.
The way his hair stuck up in places from sleep, a soft mess of curls he hadn’t bothered to smooth down. The faint imprint of her pillow against his cheek. The way he looked at the floor, not with shame, exactly, but like he was bracing for something—like he'd already begun constructing the wall he’d need to survive the day.
He was beautiful in the kind of way people didn’t expect until they really looked. Not just in the sharp angles of his face or the gold tint in his eyes, but in the unexpected softness. There was the way he hadn’t let her go entirely, even as he tried to put space between them. There was the way his voice dropped when he said her name. There was the way his thumb had lingered on her cheek like he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to touch her again.
And maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe that was what this was – one night, one rupture, one version of him she wasn’t meant to see.
She told herself it was enough.
That it was already more than most people got. That she should feel lucky to have been let in at all. That being chosen by him, even in desperation, even just for a moment, was a kind of rare honor.
Because it was clear now how little he let people in. How guarded he kept himself, how practiced he was in deflecting and disappearing and never letting anyone see the seams. But he’d come to her. He’d stood bleeding at her door, eyes hollow, heart somewhere in ruins, and he’d asked for her.
And she'd been enough. For that moment, she'd somehow been the one he needed.
That thought alone was enough to do something strange to her chest.
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She wandered into the kitchen and stood barefoot on the cold tile, fiddling with the buttons on her flannel — one of his, actually, she realized belatedly. He’d tossed it over a chair weeks ago and never bothered to take it back. But it had been washed with her clothes enough times now that she figured it Liam probably wouldn’t even notice.
Now she moved about her space with practiced ease. The kettle clicked on. The cupboard opened. Mugs clinked as she set out two mismatched ones. The soft morning noise that usually filled her solitude now felt different, as though the air had thickened in his presence, slowed down around the edges.
It was awkward, undeniably. The two of them were like actors fumbling through a script they hadn’t rehearsed, unsure who was meant to speak first.
When he finally padded into the kitchen, hair tousled, shirt pulled back on, she felt it all over again—that impossible ache.
Because she couldn’t stop seeing him now. Not the version the world got—the man with the hard stare and sharper tongue—but him. The curve of his collarbone, the slope of his nose, the way his brows furrowed as he stood uncertain in the doorway. The way he still hesitated in her space, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to step into it.
And then there were the little things. The way he fidgeted with the different flavored teas in her kitchen cabinet. How his eyes scanned her face like he was making sure she was still okay. How he stood silently while she reached past him for the sugar, like he didn’t want to crowd her.
Those small mercies. Those small signs that he cared, even now, even after everything. 
Even after drawing that line in the sand.
Y/N tried to tell herself that it was enough. That she was lucky to have been let in at all. Because it was clear now—painfully so—how rarely he let himself be seen. How much of him was locked behind iron bars no one else even knew existed.
But she had been the one he came to. She had been the one he’d needed. If only for a moment.
And maybe that was her consolation prize. Maybe that’s all she’d get.
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The kettle hummed softly as he hovered awkwardly near the counter, pretending to be preoccupied with her spoons like it required delicate strategy. They both moved around each other like amateur dancers, unsure where to place their hands or how to read the next step.
“You, um… sugar?” she asked, voice catching just a little on the first word.
He blinked, then gave a small smile, almost shy. “Two. If you’re offering.”
She nodded and grabbed the little jar, spoon clinking softly as she measured it out. And just like that, the tension shifted—not gone, but quieter. Like something in the air had taken a long breath in and was holding it steady.
He stood in her kitchen like he wasn’t quite sure if he belonged there, but also didn’t want to leave. His fingers tapped the edge of the counter, restless, and she saw the way he scanned the space—the peeling corner of the cabinet, the magnet crooked on the fridge, the plant on the windowsill that she forgot to water unless it dropped dramatically.
His name’s Bernard, she’d fondly told him. 
He also remembered telling her it was a stupid name. 
This wasn’t a space meant for people like him, he thought to himself. He didn’t belong in this life of potted plants and fridge magnets and slow mornings. But there was also something familiar about it, if he looked at it from an angle. The mug he used every time he came over sat there like some miniscule, divine sign – not that he already belonged, but like he could. Like he might, if things were different. 
If he let himself.
She passed him the tea without meeting his eyes, and he accepted it with a quiet, “Thanks,” his voice was rough from sleep. Their fingers brushed just slightly at the exchange. Neither of them pulled away immediately.
“You okay?” she asked, and instantly winced. Too much. Too soon.
But he just looked at her, not with irritation or that cold, unreadable mask he wore so often—but with something gentler. A small, reluctant crack in the armor.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “But I’m better than I was yesterday, I think.”
She nodded, wrapping her hands around her own mug. “That’s something.”
A pause. Not uncomfortable, exactly. Just uncertain.
He leaned against the counter, eyes scanning the chipped tile beneath his bare feet. “I don’t usually…” he started, then stopped, jaw working. “I mean. I’m not good at this. At being—  erm, whatever this is.”
“I know,” she said softly.
The silence that followed wasn’t heavy, just full of things not said. But it was companionable, too. She liked the way he looked standing in her kitchen, hair messy, tea in hand, eyes soft in a way the world rarely got to see.
She liked that he let her see it.
She didn’t know what came next. Probably nothing. Probably this was it—an anomaly. A glitch in their dynamic. A one-time kindness born of grief and timing and need. He would pull away, like he always did. He’d wrap himself back up in distant expressions and white lies and make himself untouchable again.
Because maybe she couldn’t have all of him, but at least she had this, right?
He didn’t quite fit in her space.His steps were still a bit too loud against her wooden floors, his frame a bit too lanky for her small space.
But there were moments, fleeting ones, when she imagined he could.
The way his hand lingered on the fridge door, the way his eyes flicked toward the window like he was memorizing the view. The way his voice softened when he asked if she still liked honey in her tea.
He remembered. Of course he did.
She watched him lean against the counter, mug in hand, eyes down, and for a moment she felt suspended in time—like they existed in a pocket the rest of the world couldn’t touch. No blood. No grief. No walls between them. Just this quiet, humming morning where he didn’t have to be anyone but himself.
It wouldn’t last. She knew that.
But she would let herself have it, just for now.
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Once she set down her mug of half-finished tea, she went back to moving around the kitchen with a kind of purpose — barefoot, flannel slipping from one shoulder, sleeves pushed up as she cracked eggs. 
She hummed to herself as she cooked — a soft, low, barely-there melody that drifted across the small apartment like the warmth off the stove. He didn’t recognize the tune. In fact, he didn’t think she even realized she was doing it.
The smell of toasting bread and scrambled eggs filled the air. Lando busied himself by looking around the modest living room—not intentionally snooping, simply observing. He let his eyes trace all the ways her space had changed since that first night he stepped inside, her hands shaking so badly she couldn’t even unlock her door.
He wandered slowly through her space, letting his fingers trail along the edge of a shelf, a framed painting, the back of a worn sofa cushion.
It wasn’t grand or luxurious, but it had finally started to appear lived in now. She’d begun to make it a home somehow, and he’d watched it happen without quite realizing it.
There was the throw blanket draped over the back of the couch — navy, soft, clearly well-loved. A tiny stack of books on the coffee table, spine cracked open on the topmost one. A candle nearly burned down to the bottom. A pair of fuzzy socks crumpled near the armrest, like she’d kicked them off mid television episode. The scent of something warm—vanilla, maybe cinnamon—lingered faintly in the air, and it wrapped around him gently, like her voice often did.
The first time he’d stood in this apartment, she’d barely spoken. Her hands had trembled so violently that she couldn’t hold the mug he made her. The walls were blank then, any furniture sparse like she hadn’t let herself get comfortable, like she didn’t believe she was allowed to stay.
Now?
Now there were little things. A scarf thrown over the back of a chair. Mismatched mugs in the dish rack. A stack of law textbooks, dog-eared and underlined, beside a scrappy little bowl of dried lavender and a clay dish to hold her rings.
He didn’t even remember noticing the bookshelf before.
He stepped toward the bookshelf, trailing a finger lightly over the spines — well-loved copies of old classics, a few familiar law textbooks, a worn copy of The Phantom Tollbooth that made him smile for some reason. And tucked at the end of a line of books, he found a small, slightly faded photo in a worn wooden frame.
He reached for it carefully. 
The photo showed two girls—one a bit older, maybe in her early teens, and the other much younger, perhaps only a year or two. Both of them wore mismatched pajamas. The older one had her arms wrapped tightly around the smaller girl, their cheeks pressed close, smiling so wide it looked like their cheeks might’ve hurt. The little one’s smile was missing two front teeth.
It wasn’t posed or professional, just a candid moment of two young girls, frozen in time. One slightly older, all tangled hair and scraped knees, grinning with the kind of reckless joy only children knew. The younger clutched her hand and beamed up at her like she hung the moon.
The resemblance was unmistakable. 
“This is you,” Lando realized aloud. 
“What?” she asked, leaning back from the stove to try to look at what he was referring to.
“You were cute,” he said quietly, glancing toward the kitchen before looking back at the photo. “Who’s this other one?”
Y/N turned with a spatula in one hand, brow furrowed until she saw the photo in his hand. Then her face softened. “That would be my sister.”
He turned back to it. “She looks like you.”
She smiled faintly, but there was something else there. Something older, a bit tired, maybe.
“Uh, her name’s Mila. I’m pretty sure I’ve always called her Mils though,” she murmured, voice dipping into something softer, something sadder.
He hummed in acknowledgement. “She’s adorable.”
“She’s everything,” she said, and the words landed in the room like truth, like prayer. “The coolest kid in the world.”
“What happened to her?” he dared to ask. Y/N paused, searching for any sign that he was asking as a formality or mere courtesy before she laid one of the innermost parts of her bare before him, but found none. His expression was careful, curious, patient. 
She turned back to the stove, voice quieter now. “She, uh, still lives with my parents. That’s kinda why I don’t really have any more recent pictures of her.”
Lando approached closer, the frame still in his hand. “She lives with your parents?”
“I left when I was nineteen,” she said, flipping a piece of toast in the pan. “So she stayed with the people I couldn’t keep living with. And I know— I know that makes me sound like a coward. But I couldn’t stay, Liam. I kept trying but I just couldn’t.”
Her voice wavered, just once.
“And I tried —I really, really tried— to bring her with me. But I was still a kid to them, and they wouldn’t let me take her.” 
She inhaled steadily before continuing, plating the toast. “I didn’t have proof, or custody, or any power at all. I just had… me.”
A beat passed.
“I left her behind. When I moved out. I— I didn’t want to. But I had to get away, you know? It wasn’t safe, not for me. Not for either of us, really. But she was still too young. And I… I couldn’t take her with me. Not legally. Not safely. So I left.”
She set a mug down a little harder than necessary.
He said nothing, sensing she wasn’t finished.
Y/n looked over her shoulder again, carefully meeting his gaze. “I couldn’t protect her. Not really. So I made a promise to myself that I’d get out, get through school, get into law, and make something of it. So that one day I could go back with something to offer – a plan, a way out. Really out. Not just from the house, but from the whole cycle. The guilt, the smallness, the silence. All of it.” 
“One day,” she breathed, but Lando had a feeling that she was saying that to herself more than him.
Lando stared at her — this girl who never asked for anything for herself, never expected comfort, who stitched herself together quietly. He pictured a younger version of her, small yet fierce, clutching her sister’s hand with all the bravery a child could fake.
And then he looked at her now — her shoulders squared, her expression one of practiced nonchalance. She had already turned back toward the kitchen, probably to stir something, probably to keep her hands busy.
Lando looked at the photo again. This time, he didn’t see just two kids. He saw her. Saw the beginning of the girl he now stood across the room from. A smaller version of Y/N, brave beyond her years, stronger than anyone should ever have had to be.
The soft shield between pain and someone smaller, more fragile.
The protector.
His chest ached with something fierce and sudden.
Someone should’ve stood beside that little girl from the photo and said, you don’t have to do this alone anymore.
He wanted to be that someone now.
He wanted to keep her safe, to make sure she never had to want for anything again. He wanted to build her a world where she could laugh without worry, sleep without locking the door twice, study for her exams without wondering if someone needed saving from the life she escaped. He wanted to make sure no one could ever hurt her again.
And selfishly — he wanted to keep this version of her, soft smile and all, just like this.
Almost all his.
He stepped closer to her before she could turn away and tugged her gently toward him. She blinked up at him in surprise, hands still slightly damp after the mug she'd just rinsed.
Then, Lando Norris did what was probably one of the most foolish and selfish things he’d ever done. He wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her into him—close, warm, steady. Tentatively, as if unsure he was doing it correctly, he forced himself to lean into the embrace and tuck his chin over Y/N’s head as she fit perfectly against him like he was anchoring her there. 
Before she could register what had happened, her body was already relaxing into his, some subconscious recognition of a presence as perfect for her as the person it belonged to.
It was the breath of air reaching her lungs in what felt like months.
“You will,” he murmured against her hair, before leaning back to look down at her. “We will, yeah?”
She looked up at him, confused.
“M’gonna make sure you keep that promise. I don’t care what it takes, alright? You are gonna study your ass off, and we are going to make damn sure you’re the best fuckin’ lawyer this city’s ever seen,” he said, his tone firmer now. “You’re gonna have that life, and when you go back for her, s’not gonna be with empty hands.”
She didn’t respond at first, just let her forehead drop gently against his chest. One of her hands found the hem of his shirt, fingertips curling lightly into the fabric like she needed something to hold onto.
This feels too good to be true.
“You really think so?” she asked, muffled.
He exhaled, hesitantly letting one hand trail soothing circles along her back. 
“I know so,” he said firmly
She said nothing at first. Just let herself be held, breathing in sync with him, cheek pressed against his chest like maybe this was the safest place in the world. And for a moment, it was.
He didn’t want to let go.
He didn’t want her to ever feel unsafe again.
And god help him—he didn’t want anyone else to be the one who got to keep her safe. Didn’t want anyone else to see her soft smile in the kitchen light. Didn’t want anyone else to earn that little piece of her trust.
But he didn’t say that.
He just held her tighter.
And in that quiet, the morning stilled around them – not quite a beginning, not yet an ending.
Just something real, for as long as it was allowed to last.
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All the makings for breakfast that she’d had on hand were set out at the small kitchen table, their legs tangled beneath mismatched chairs. By the time they sat down to eat, the light through the window had gone soft and gold. The kind that kissed the tops of furniture and warmed the mug in her hands, pretending for a little while that the world outside didn’t exist.
Liam looked entirely out of place and somehow completely at home, bare-faced and hair tousled, wearing a t-shirt that wasn’t his and sipping from the same mug he did everytime. She always told him he could use any of the other ones in her collection, but he didn’t seem to care. Instead, he just took a quiet sip and leaned back like he was trying to pretend this was normal.
It wasn’t, not really. But also maybe it was, in a parallel life where he wasn’t this person wrapped in danger and decisions and she wasn’t made of this soft starlight and stubborn dreams. Maybe in that life, breakfast like this was a Thursday thing. 
Maybe even an everyday thing.
After plating two matching plates off eggs, hash brown, and toast, Y/N handed one to him and tried to avoid eye contact. She tried not to wonder if this was the last time he’d be here like this — if the bubble would pop the second he walked out that door.
When she set her own plate down and tucked in her chair, getting ready to eat, Liam glanced at her place before giving her a confused look.
Without a word, he slid his plate toward her and swapped them out. Gave her his hash browns and took the eggs for himself. 
She blinked. “How’d you—?”
“You weren’t gonna eat them,” he said casually, already chewing.
“You don’t know that.”
“I dunno why you even made ‘em f’yourself. You don’t even like eggs,” he said flatly.
Her mouth opened in protest.
He raised an eyebrow.
“I could like eggs,” she argued weakly, sounding unconvincing even to herself. By now, she was mostly just arguing for the principle of it.
He tilted his head, unamused. “You keep tryin’ to like eggs, but you don’t. Don’t lie to me after I’ve seen you pretend to like café egg bites and then hide them in the napkins.”
She tried not to grin, but failed.
“Fine,” she muttered. “You can have them, happy?”
She nudged the plate closer to him and gestured to it with a grandiose wave, as if she were doing him some great big favor by giving him the food she’d never wanted to eat in the first place.
He plucked the remaining scrambled eggs off her plate without a word and dropped a slice of buttered toast in their place — his perfectly golden, a bit over-toasted just the way she liked it. He didn’t even blink. Just handed her the plate back and resumed sipping his very bad coffee.
She stared at the toast. Then at him.
“You didn’t even ask.”
He shrugged. “Didn’t have to. You picked around them at brunch that one time too. When you dragged us to that ridiculous bougie place with the edible flowers.”
Her expression softened—half amusement, half something she couldn’t quite name. “That was months ago.”
“I remember,” was all he said, shrugging.
She paused. “And I like your hash browns?”
“You stole half of mine that day,” he said between bites, his aching body too happy at the prospect of getting to enjoy a warm, home-cooked meal. “You said yours were ‘emotionally unsatisfying.’”
The breath caught somewhere in her throat.
“Oh my god. I can’t believe you remember that,” she flushed. After a moment, she asked quietly, “Do you always do that?”
He looked up. “...Do what?”
“Notice things. Like that.”
He looked like he was going to deny it at first. But then his expression shifted—barely, subtly. He tapped a finger against the side of his mug, not meeting her eyes. He seemed to consider it for a moment.
“Only the important shit, I guess? I dunno. But of course I notice you,” he shrugged casually, before reaching for another bite.
She felt the blush rise hot in her chest and looked down at her plate, suddenly very interested in her toast.
He peeked up at her as he leaned down to take another bite, pleased with himself, and shoved another forkful of eggs into his mouth like it was a personal victory.
She narrowed her eyes, fighting a smile. “You’re so smug.”
He merely nodded, like a dramatic acceptance of his fate. “Speaking of important things, can I tell you somethin’?” he asked, his voice a little rough.
She looked up.
“This coffee’s actually crap.”
She looked up, scandalized. “Excuse me?”
“It is,” he insisted, holding up the mug. “It’s burnt and bitter and tastes like regret.”
She gaped. “I made it!”
He grinned, all teeth. “Still crap.”
“You literally watched me make it.”
He gestured toward her, triumphant. “Exactly. Which means I know your actual coffee is good. This”—he motioned to the sad, steaming mug—“is a betrayal. This is sabotage. I trusted you.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s not my café, Liam, it’s my kitchen. You want fancy, rich-people, €7 espresso? Go buy me a machine then.”
“Oh, I will,” he said, too easily. “Top of the line. As long as you’re the one using it.”
“You better. How dare you come into my apartment and insult my coffee machine?” She threw a napkin at his head and he let it hit him, not even flinching.
He just rolled his eyes and let her.
She didn’t need to know that hated the taste of coffee, always had. She didn’t need to know that somewhere along the way, he’d learned to identify a cup of coffee made by her hands by taste alone, because it was the only one he could seem to tolerate.
“Might have to, out of survival,” he said, mock solemn. “Because every time I try to have coffee in this place, I get this… shitty hot bean water.”
She laughed, and something in his chest loosened.
“You literally called my pour-over technique witchcraft that one time I made you one,” she insisted through her smile. “Then asked for a second cup.”
“Yeah, well,” he leaned back in the chair a little, arms crossed. “The witch got me addicted. To good coffee.”
She tilted her head, grinning. “Is that your way of saying you do like my coffee?”
“What? Of course not,” he scoffed, like she’d suggested something absolutely preposterous. He went to take another sip, smiling behind the rim of his mug. “S' jus’ my way of saying if I ever open a café, you’re the only one allowed to touch the beans.”
She laughed again, and the sound settled something inside him, like he hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until then.
For a few minutes after that, they just ate. Forks scraping quietly. Steam curling off mugs. The distant hum of the city beyond the window—cars, morning birds, the faint clatter of a garbage truck in the alley.
She looked at him then, properly. She took in the lazy sprawl of him across her tiny kitchen chair, the quiet smirk tugging at his lips. He looked at her too.
It was oddly domestic. It felt strangely normal.
He didn’t know how long he had in this little pocket of peace. Didn’t know what the day would bring once he left this apartment and re-entered his world.
The aftermath would be waiting - Leclerc. Questions. Maybe blood. Maybe worse.
But here, now—he still had this. Her, in this flannel with the little tea stain near the hem. Her, in this light. Her, laughing like last night hadn’t happened. Like maybe she’d carry the weight for him just a little longer if it meant he could breathe for a moment more.
He took a long sip of his coffee and leaned back in the chair, wondering if this is what home was supposed to look like all along.
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a/n: i'm sorry if this one feels too exposition-y... hopefully it's still readable tho?
and some backstory! what do we think?
214 notes · View notes
andvys · 11 months ago
Text
Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
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Chapter twenty two ⭐︎ Let the world around us just fall apart
Warnings: no warnings, I am not gonna spoil anything, read at your own risk and minors, get outta here as always
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 10.5k+
Author's note: @hellfire--cult can you believe we made it here?... feels like we just started planning this story! anyways thank you for helping me proofread and perfecting the story ♡
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter
“I don’t know if a dress would make him say yes to a date with his mortal enemy.” 
Billy scoffed at your words, rolling his eyes. 
“Mortal enemy, my ass.”
You were fidgety as you were walking towards the GAP store with your best friend by your side. You looked around you and stopped at the entrance, a sudden nervousness came over you when you looked inside. 
This was insane and it didn’t even feel right. You knew he would say no, not even a pretty dress could change his opinion of you. 
Steve couldn’t stand you, it felt ridiculous to even think of asking him out, knowing how it would end but your best friend put so much hope in you, he encouraged you so strongly, how could you not try?
Billy stood before you, a comforting smile crossed upon his features. 
“I– I can’t…”
You looked into his blue eyes, the kindness that was shining just for you, making your lips twitch. 
He took your hand in his and squeezed it, tilting his head down with a nod, he gestured to the store. 
“You can do it, sweets…”
His words echo in your mind, repeating over and over again, blurring your vision further as you look at the man before you with tears rolling down your cheeks and rain pouring down on you, you’re shaking like a leaf, not from the coldness that envelopes your body like an icy blanket but from all the emotions inside of you. 
And Steve, he stares at you, eyes blurred with tears that even you can see through your own. 
His head is pounding from all the sobs that left his lips, from all the tears he shed over you after what Robin told him about you, about your feelings for him. He feels ready to crumble to his knees as he looks at you now, ready to let those tears spill again, ready to take you back into his arms and try to forget. 
But despite the sadness, the brokenness in him, he also feels anger, not even for you but for himself. 
“What do you want?”
Tears spill from your eyes and your chest aches in pain and fear as you look at the heartbroken, angered boy in front of you. 
You have not heard that voice from him in a long time. That voice that had venom in it, directed only at you. The voice that held dislike, disgust, hatred. The voice that Steve once had towards you… and this time it hurts even worse than it ever did before. 
You see the way he looks at you, so different from how he did this morning and it makes you feel small, just the way it always did and suddenly you want nothing more than to turn around and run again, to leave and spare yourself more pain. 
But this can’t be the ending. 
It just can’t be. 
And the pain in his eyes, his reaction to whatever Robin had said to him fuels the hope that began to dwindle. If he didn’t feel anything for you, he wouldn’t stand here like this. 
Thunder crashes behind you so loudly that it makes you flinch and shut your eyes tightly, for only a second but a second enough for Steve to snap and truly look at the sight before him – the storm that rages behind you, the wind that curses through the forest, the lightning that surges through the sky, illuminating everything around you as loud rumbles vibrate against the ground while the rain pours down on you. 
You are standing here, in the middle of a storm, caught in the rain, you are standing here before him. 
His heart lurches to his throat when he hears your sniffle, sees the tears in your eyes and the way you are shaking as your bottom lip trembles. A broken cough falls from your lips and he instantly steps forward. Worry crosses out every other emotion in him as he reaches for your hand, his gaze softening the longer he looks at you. 
“Blondie! What the fuck are you doing here!? It’s— It’s storming!” He yells through the rain and tries to pull you into the house but you shake your head at him and take a step back, refusing to step inside. 
All the words, all the sentences, everything you had rehearsed and looked forward to all day flet away from you, the confession you planned no longer exists in your mind, it’s all blank. 
“I–I… I need to know… I need to ask… I-I never asked and I feel like I’m losing my mind now–”
A desperate sigh falls from Steve’s lips, he shakes his head at you, begging with his eyes as he moves closer to the doorstep, not understanding a single word you are saying. 
“What…? Blondie, you need to get inside, you’re fucking soaked–”
“No!” You shake your head at him, feeling uncomfortable beneath the pouring rain but refusing to give into the warmth just yet. “I need to… I need to tell you something!”
He can see the way you try your hardest not to cry, the way your glassy eyes look into his so brokenly, the way you look as though you will fall to your knees any second and it only makes the aching in his chest so much worse. 
“W-What?”
You take a deep breath and you almost choke from the sob you have kept inside for too long, that you can no longer hold as it falls from your lips so brokenly. 
“It’s all my fault! All this time, I blamed time and I blamed bad luck but never myself! If I only had said something to you, if only I had even shown you a little bit of what I truly feel, you may have noticed! I-I never tried! I never fought! And I am the only one to blame if I end up broken in the end!” 
Steve shakes his head at you, his tears falling yet again at the sight of you crying and speaking so desperately through your cries. 
“Blondie– you’re– you have to get in–”
He tries to reach for you again but you swat his hand away, sniffling and shaking your head. 
“For years I held it in! Even before the upside down, before joining the group and quarreling like never before with you! Even before any of what we had been doing for the past few months! When you passed me in the hallways, when you sat behind me in science class, when you had your basketball matches and even when I went to parties, I always looked at you!” Your voice cracks when another sob escapes you, and then another before they continue falling uncontrollably, feelings overwhelming you as you finally let them out after years of keeping them locked away. 
And Steve, he stares at you with wide glassy eyes, feeling stunned and frozen in place as his heart stops beating for a moment. 
“And– And now– I can’t hold them in anymore, because I feel like if I keep going like this I will explode– but my gut is telling me that I have to say it… but I’m so afraid… I’m so fucking afraid! I-I can’t lose you, not you, Steve.” 
His knees nearly buckle at your words, at his sudden movement as he finally rushes forward, stepping under the rain with you, not letting you move away from him again as he cradles your face with his hands and tilts your head up to make you look at him. 
It all moved so quickly, he didn’t have the time to properly digest everything that just left your lips but it all was enough to bring him back to you, to start his heart again, to fill it with the hope that he thought was burned to ashes only hours ago. He already saw his grave, he already saw his demise, the death of his heart when he thought that he found out what you had really felt for him. 
But you are here, not caring about the storm above you, not caring about the vulnerability you’re letting come through, not caring about anything but him at this moment. 
He grows desperate too and so does his heart as it calls your name. 
He rubs his thumbs against your cheeks, holding you so tightly as he fears that you will slip through his fingers at any moment, that he might wake up to an empty bed after sobbing himself to sleep, thinking about you but then you wrap your hands around his wrists, clutching them tightly as you cry. 
Now he can see it in your eyes, the look he always searched for but couldn’t find, now he can see it all so very clearly but it still isn’t enough, he needs to hear you say it. 
“Please… Please I beg you to say it… I need to know, baby, please. Y-You don’t have to be afraid anymore… not with me… So please, say it.” 
Your body trembles like it never did before, your heart pounds so strongly in your chest, you blink through your tears and stare up at him, into his hazel eyes that beg for you, the eyes that look at you with so much hope and desperation as tears cascade down his cheeks along with the rain that crashes down on the both of you. 
The boy you never thought could ever feel a sliver of what you feel for him stands in front of you, holds you so tightly as he pleads for you, for your love. 
“Please,” he whispers so brokenly, like your words, your love is the only thing he wants and needs. 
He begs for you and no one else, only you. 
The one you always wanted, the one you would give your life for, the one that had your heart from the very start. 
You take a deep breath and hold onto him tightly, your heart jumps to your throat when you finally, finally whisper those three words. 
“I love you.” 
Steve’s breath hitches in his throat, a weight he didn’t even realize he was carrying falling off his shoulders, his brows furrow as his lips part, fresh tears well up in his eyes and his heart starts beating again. 
He can’t believe that this is real, he can’t believe that he just heard those words coming from your mouth, he can’t believe that you are here, standing right in front of him with no walls built around you any longer, he sees a side of you that he wasn’t sure was there but it is and you let him see, you let him see all of you, the real you, the vulnerable girl that hid from the world, from him.
And now that those words have finally left the sacred place in your heart, you feel an overwhelming sensation taking control over you, your body begins to shake harder than it did before, tears are flowing and sobs continue on falling. 
“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you!”
Your voice is so small, yet so loud as you chant those three words through your cries, clinging to him so tightly so you don’t fall to your knees. 
Words that Steve never thought he would hear echo through his driveway, falling from your lips so beautifully, nothing but the truth lingers in your eyes, nothing but vulnerability, nothing but a love he had never thought he would get to feel in this life, let alone from you, you who he had fallen for so unconditionally, so deeply that it hurt not only in his heart but in his soul when he thought that you didn’t feel what he does. 
“I love you, Steve Harrington,” you whisper, sniffling. “I love you so much, I always did, I–I loved you from the moment I first saw you, I have loved you for more than you can imagine! I have loved you for–”
A choked sob falls from his own lips before he pulls you tightly against him and smashes them against yours, kissing you with everything that he has, pouring every ounce of love into it, enveloping you in his arms, in his embrace, in his warmth. Holding your face in his hands is no longer enough, he wraps his arms around your body, pulling you tightly against him so your chest is pressed against his own. 
You lift your arms up and cup his wet cheeks, kissing him deeply, holding him tightly, not caring about the salty taste on your tongue or his. 
Steve cups the back of your head, deepening the kiss and getting lost in it, not minding the rain or the storm and you don’t either, you don’t even flinch when the thunder crashes. He kisses you hard and he makes you forget about everything around you, everything ceases to exist, everything but him. 
He murmurs something against your lips when you both grow too breathless to continue the kiss. 
He could not begin to describe the emotions that exploded inside of him. 
You love him. 
You love him just the way he loves you. 
You have loved him for absolutely nothing, when he was cruel to you, when he mistreated you, when he gave you nothing but cold gazes and his cruelty. 
You have loved him during times when he felt most unlovable, when he thought he had no one, when not even his parents wanted him, when his first love lied to him, betrayed him, left him only to come back and fill him with false hope again, only to leave him once again. 
You have loved him when you showed up at Scoops Ahoy that day, you have loved him when you jumped into the water to save him, you have loved him through it all, when this started, and when he began falling, you were already in it so deeply. 
But you were so good at hiding it, you were too good, too good at making him and everyone else believe how great your dislike was for him but you were such a good actress, why else would he have believed Robin’s words?
His hands settle on your upper back and he slowly brings them back to your front, sliding them upwards to your shoulders and then your neck. His brows pull together so strongly as the kiss slows down when the lack of air gets to both him and you. 
Your lips tremble against his, your lashes flutter when you open your eyes again, you trace his bottom lip with your thumb, still sniffling, still crying as you look at his pretty face. You feel so relieved now that it’s all said and done, that your feelings are out in the open and no longer hidden underneath all your layers that you protected yourself with, all these years. 
But you don’t know what this means for you now, not even the kiss could lay it out for you. 
But Steve, he stares at you in awe, at the girl he fell so deeply, unconditionally, otherworldly in love with. The girl that stands under the pouring rain with him, the girl that lets nothing stop her from confessing her love to him, not even the thunder, the storm she fears so greatly, the girl that stands in front of him isn’t the one he started this affair with, the one he bickered with, the one with the harsh words, no, this girl is the real you, the one that lost but still gave love a chance, the one that loved despite the blows to her heart he caused, despite the hurt he put her through. 
You felt that way during his worst days, you felt that way when he loved another, you felt that way when he was with other girls, you felt that way when he spit mean words into your face – all these thoughts overwhelm him, a mix of emotions flood through him, he is not sure if he is even deserving of this, of you but he would be a damn fool if he didn’t fight for you back. 
Steve stares at you through his tears, he leans down closer to you, taking shaky breaths as he finally says the words he never thought would leave his lips again. 
“I love you,” he whispers and cradles your cheeks again, “I love you so much and I’m stupid for not saying anything either–”
Your eyes grow wide, shock freezes your whole body as you stare at him. 
You knew there was something, there had to be but love? Love isn’t something you expected him to feel for you. 
“Y-You love me?” 
Your voice sounds so broken, so small, your eyes well up with more tears, your lips tremble harder than before and somehow you look even more vulnerable than you did seconds ago. 
How could he not love you? 
How could he not give his heart to you?
How could he not imagine a future with you? 
You are everything to him, you are his everything. 
His heart melts at your gaze, at the way you're clinging to him, looking at him wide eyed like you are afraid that he isn’t real, that this isn’t real. 
“I’m so fucking in love with you, Blondie,” he whispers, his voice cracking and tears continuing to roll down his cheeks, “keeping it a secret was tearing me apart, even more so when I thought that you didn’t feel the same.”
You can’t name the emotions that burn inside of you, not right now, at least. 
But all that you know is that you feel joy and happiness, like you have never felt before. 
Your heart feels alive. 
You feel alive. 
He loves you, Steve loves you, Steve is in love with you. 
His kind, soft eyes look into yours with nothing but adoration, love and affection. His hair clings to his forehead, his clothes wet just like yours are, he is crying, not from sadness anymore but from happiness, just like you are. 
You can’t help but kiss him again, slamming your lips against his shaky ones, you kiss the man who confessed his love for you, the man you never thought would feel the same. 
He wastes not a single second to kiss you back, your noses bump harshly together but it only makes you smile, it makes you both giggle against each other's lips. Feeling your shaking body against his, Steve wraps his arms around your waist and he pulls you back, leading you into the house without breaking the kiss. 
Your sneakers squeak against the tiles in the hallway, water drips down from the both of you, needy whines and huffs fall from yours and his lips, echoing through his house when he finally closes the door to the storm, he pushes you against the red door, caging you in against it as you grab at the collar of his shirt, pulling him tighter against you as the kiss grows more desperate and hungry. 
Steve feels it too, he feels the desperation, the need to feel you closer than this. Your body against his, your hands in his hair, your tongues clashing together through the feverish kiss isn’t enough, he needs to feel your skin on his, he needs to feel your warmth, he needs to hear your sweet moans, he needs to be inside of you. 
But first, he needs you to know. 
He can feel your tears on his lips, hear your sniffles, feel your pounding heart beneath his palm as he touches your chest. 
You have loved him for so long, you have suffered for so long and he knows that you didn’t understand yet just how deep his feelings are. 
Steve pulls away from the kiss, only enough so he can speak, close enough to still feel your lips against his, he leans his forehead against yours, keeps his nose nuzzled with yours, he rubs your cheeks, wipes your tears away as he pecks your lips again and again. 
You are both panting, both clinging to one another, gazing at each other lovingly. 
“You need to hear this, Blondie,” he whispers, not feeling scared or nervous any longer. “You need to understand my feelings for you. They’re not small, they’re not in the slightest. You are the one I imagine myself buying a white picket fence house with, the one I imagine myself marrying, the one I imagine having a family with, no matter if big or small, anything you give me I will take. You need to know that you’re my future, that I have been wanting you in my future for a long while now. There is no one else for me but you.”
Steve watches the way your eyes brighten, the way they almost turn doe-eyed, a shaky breath escapes you, like you can’t believe the words that just left his mouth. You blink at him, lips curling. “Y-You want kids with me?” 
You have been by his side for so long, you have been his girl from the moment you decided you wanted to be, you have always been the missing puzzle in his life, you have always been the one that was supposed to be here, with him. All this time, you waited, waited for him and he was so blind, so unaware, so focused on anything but the love of his life. It took him time to realize that, it took him too long but he knows now, he knew for a while. 
He smiles, wiping the falling tears from your cheeks as he leans in to give you a soft peck, “as many as you’re willing to have.” 
A giggle falls from your lips and you nuzzle your nose against his, leaning your forehead to his as you wrap your arms around him tightly. 
“I can’t believe that this is real.” 
And you mean every word of that. 
Steve can’t believe that someone could love him like this, so strongly, so unconditionally, not even expecting anything in return, loving him through the war between you, loving him through heartbreak, loving him through it all. 
You have been there. 
You have always been there. 
Tears spill over his lashline and down his cheeks, a watery giggle falls from his lips, the hurt in him disappearing more and more as the light seeps back in, a brighter one that his soul had ever seen before, his heart no longer twists in pain, it beats so strongly, so lively, so happily as nothing but love and joy shines in him. 
“Me neither,” he whispers against your lips, voice shaky and filled with tears, “I can’t believe that you love me, Blondie, that you want me like this.” 
You can’t help but kiss him again, again and again. You cup his cheeks, smiling through your tears as you do something you always wanted to, kiss his pain away, kiss the tears away that stream down his cheeks. You kiss his jaw, his chin, his cheeks, every inch his tears have stained, you kiss it all away. 
“I want you more than anything, Steve Harrington,” you murmur into his skin, making the boy sob against you as he holds you tightly, tighter than he ever did before. You grab his hand and pull it towards your chest, placing it above your beating heart, “my heart belongs to you.” 
Steve could never find the right words to tell you how he felt, no matter how long he’d look for them, he would never find them, they didn’t exist, and no words that do come close to explaining just how deeply he felt for you, not even the I love you’s he gave you already come close. 
So he decides to show you instead. 
He bends down and hooks his arm around the back of your knees while the other comes to rest on your back, he tears a squeal out of you when he picks you up bridal style and carries you upstairs. 
You throw your arms around his neck and hold on tight, giggling at his sudden move. 
He can’t help but smile at the sound that falls from your lips, his heart moving in a way it never has before, a whole new rhythm taking over when he feels the shift of energy in you, when he sees the look in your eyes changing, when you let all your guards down, stripping yourself off each layer. 
You press your lips to his, pecking them softly before you move onto his cheek and then his jaw and finally his neck, kissing him while he continues his way up the stairs, trying not to get too distracted by your touch. 
“I love you, Stevie,” you whisper into his skin, “I love you so much.”
You can’t stop saying those words now that you have finally allowed yourself to let them free. 
Steve has to swallow down the sob that threatens to spill from his lips again, your words bring him so much happiness but he is also so emotional.
Rain water drips from the both of you as he walks through his dark hallway, he is careful not to slip with his wet sneakers, he kicks open the door to his room and walks inside, shutting it again, making it slam. The only source of light now being the lightning that still illuminates the sky every few seconds, the rain paddles down harshly against his windows.
Steve puts you down again so he can undress both you and himself and rid you of the soaked and cold clothes but not before cupping your cheeks and kissing you again, rubbing your wet cheeks as your lips and tongues mingle together in a feverish but passionate kiss. 
He brushes your hair back, tucking it behind your ears, he slips his hands down to your shoulders, removing your jacket and letting it fall to the ground, his fingertips grazing your bare arms that are littered with goosebumps. 
You hum against his lips, hands reaching for his belt, clinking as you unbuckle it. You then pop the button of his jeans and move on to his shirt as he does the same to you.
You both only break the kiss to take the chosen clothing item off, your eyes flutter open, instantly locking with his warm brown ones. You smile at one another as you help each other. 
You raise your arms up when he starts taking your white, now almost see through shirt off, he drops the material and wastes no second to touch your bare skin, staring at you with nothing but awe and adoration, like it is the first time he gets to see you like this. He touches you so delicately, so softly and gently that it brings a new wave of tears to your already sensitive eyes. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers those words to you, followed by your name that always sounds so pretty rolling off his tongue. 
Your heart flutters in your chest, your cold skin heats up beneath his warm touch. 
You take a step closer to him, almost pressing your chest against his now as you go to take his shirt off too, he looks down at you and bites his lip, eyes flashing with a deeper adoration when you rise to your tippy toes to roll the wet material off his skin, messing up his hair further when his shirt gets stuck around his head, making you both giggle. 
You rise up further, trying to pull it off when he mumbles, “don’t say anything now.”
When you finally free him from it, you throw it on the ground next to yours, smiling brightly, “there was a reason I called you Lego–” 
You gasp when he kisses you roughly, not letting you finish the sentence. You don’t hesitate to kiss back, placing your hands on his neck, touching his wet skin and raking your nails down his chest and his stomach, you reach for his belt while he kisses you breathless. 
His own hands travel down to your hips, leaving no space untouched. He feels the way you suck in a sharp breath, hears the way you whine against his lips as you tug at his pants just the way he starts working on popping the button on yours. 
You pull away from the kiss and breathe heavily against his lips, something that makes his heart flutter in his chest. 
He starts pushing down your pants when you stop him by grabbing his wrists. 
“Wait,” you whisper, worrying him with the tightness of your hold on him.
“W-Why? Is something–”
Before he can even question you, you stop him once again by pressing your lips against his, “everything is perfect,” you murmur against his skin, making his heart skip several beats as you continue kissing him, “you’re perfect.” 
He is so close to tears once again, your words match the look in your eyes so perfectly, the love that is and was only ever reserved for him is so strong that he can’t help but wonder how he never saw it before, it’s so clear and so evidently there. 
Steve never saw himself as anything perfect, not even when everyone else thought that about him throughout his short lived ‘reign’, he always had flaws, always saw them in himself, always felt like there was something wrong with him deep inside. But you make him feel special, you make him feel like he is truly something perfect, like he is worth something with the way you look at him and touch him so delicately as you reveal the side of you that wanted to love so desperately but never felt safe to. 
“I want to make you feel good, Steve,” you whisper as you latch your lips onto his neck, slowly kissing your way down to his chest and stomach before you begin to sink to your knees, “please let me.” 
Steve’s eyelashes flutter as his eyes close for a moment, the feeling of your lips kissing his wet body making him shiver in pleasure. He opens his eyes again when you hook your fingers around his belt loops, trying to tear his pants down but he stops you just the way you stopped him, the look you give him nearly makes him crumble, the big and pleading eyes, the pout on your lips, the desperation written all over your face. 
He wants to sink to his knees for you. 
He wants to make you feel good. 
So he leans down and grabs you beneath your armpits, picking you up with ease and throwing you on his bed and despite the sound of your whine, he pulls himself together and takes the rest of your clothes off, tearing off your shoes before he works his way up to your jeans, leaving you in just your underwear. 
He stares at your body in awe and in love, tracing every inch of you with his eyes as he quickly rids himself of his clothes and kicks off his shoes hastily before he gets down before you, wrapping his hand around your ankle, he looks into your eyes and he presses his lips to your skin, slowly kissing his way up to your thighs. 
“Steve,” you whine with a whisper, eyebrows furrowing and pleasure already seeping into your bones. “Please… I want to–”
“Shh, I want to taste you, my love.”
My love. 
My love. 
He called you my love. 
Your heart could burst right this second, it could explode, from joy, from happiness and love. 
You hear nothing but his voice, the smacking of his lips against your skin and the beating of your heart as he loves on you. You no longer hear the howling wind or the crashing thunder, the bolts of lightning only add to the rush you are feeling right now as you look down at him, at the pretty man between your thighs. You throw your hand into his hair, tugging at his wet strands.
“Please, Steve… Baby, I want to taste you too, I want to make you feel good, please let me…” You whine, not feeling ashamed for the desperation in your voice. “W-We can do it at the same time, please…”
Steve’s stomach flutters at your words, he stops moving and looks up at you with a blush making its way up to his cheeks. 
That is something you haven’t done before, not with each other, not with anyone else. 
His blood rushes to his core just at the image of it, his stomach burning with lust as he looks into your eager eyes. 
“You can’t say shit like that, darling,” he nearly growls and pulls away from you to take his boxers off before he moves on top of you, stealing your breath by slamming his lips back against yours, kissing you needily. 
Your moan echoes through his room, getting louder when he grinds against your center, he pushes his hands beneath you so he can unclasp your bra, ridding you off the lacy material, he throws it on the ground before he moves on to your panties. He pulls away for just a second, hooking his fingers around the elastic and helping you get rid of them in a quick motion. His lips slam against yours again as his hands move back up to your waist, grabbing it with both hands, he flips you over so you’re the one on top. 
You press your hands against his shoulders, whining when you feel his cock pressing against your center, thighs already sticking together. 
He moans loudly when he feels your warmth against him, lust swirling inside of him. 
You pull away from one another and he pushes his hands down to your butt, giving it a gentle squeeze. 
“Turn around, baby…” He whispers and you don’t waste a second to comply.
You take a deep breath and cup the side of his face, pecking his lips softly before you turn around, your knees dig into the mattress, your hands grabbing his thighs roughly when you feel a sense of nervousness rushing through you, your cheeks heat up at the position you are in, fully exposed to him in a new way but that feeling in you subsides and turns into something else when you see his erection, pre-cum rolling down his length and making your mouth water as the need to taste him, to pleasure him grows stronger than before. 
And Steve, his eyes darken with lust and he grabs your hips tightly, already leaning forward, he can’t wait any longer when you’re like this in front of him, fully exposed, your folds soaked with your slick and thighs already glistening too, you are so wet that he can smell it. He gives you a rough squeeze before he leans in and licks a stripe from your clit to your hole, making you gasp out in pleasure, a sound that shoots straight to his dick. 
Your eyes nearly roll back at the feeling of his tongue, of his mouth on you as he dives right in, devouring you so desperately as though he needs it, needs you like air. 
And you need him too. 
You press kisses along his shaft, teasing him by massaging his balls and you slowly flick your hand up and down around him, humming against him as his moans sound through the room, getting more desperate the longer you continue this. 
“I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby,” you promise before you spit down into your palm, wrapping your hand back around his length, a little firmer this time, you jerk him off and swirl your tongue around his leaking tip before you finally wrap your lips around him and take him deeply into your mouth, closing your watery eyes and hollowing your cheeks around him. 
Steve moans loudly against you, sending vibrations through you, he slips his tongue inside of you, holding you tighter than before as he laps at your pussy with desperation, getting lost in the pleasure of tasting you and feeling your warm mouth around him. 
You look so perfect, so fucking sexy with your hair falling down your arched back, your skin glowing beneath the flashing lights of the storm, he can’t help but run his palm up and down your butt, squeezing and grabbing at your skin, moaning even louder when you grind back against his face as you take him deeper and deeper until Steve can feel the back of your throat. 
He whimpers your name, eyes rolling back as he delves deeper into you, slipping two of his fingers into you along with his tongue, he scissors you, spreading you open for him. He can feel you clenching around his fingers, he can feel you drooling all over him. 
Your moan vibrates all around his cock, making you pull it out of your mouth in order to take a breath. Your concentration starts to fail you as his fingers move rapidly inside of you, his tongue lapping at everything he can take that is dripping out of you. You keep moving your hand on him as your hips twitch. 
“S-Stevie…” He doesn’t care that you are not sucking him off right now, he is only caring about your pleasure. He needs you to feel treasured, cared for, and he needs you to feel it with him only. That he is the only one that can bring you all of this, even if it sounds possessive… He wants to be the only one, forever.
You feel your belly burn and you look down at his cock, trying to pull yourself together, trying to forget about the throbbing happening in your pussy. You want to make him feel good. You want to hear him come undone as well. So you open your mouth once more, licking at the head and pressing the tip of your tongue right on the slit. You feel Steve groan against you, and then you finally take him inside once more.
You bop your head, swirling your tongue around him as tears fall from your eyes, you are so deeply lost in the pleasure, you forget everything around you, only he matters. You can feel him twitching in your mouth, you can hear his moans and how much louder they get and you feel your own release approaching as he flicks your clit with his thumb and curls his fingers inside of you, using both his digits and his tongue to unravel you. 
“I know you want to let go for me, darling,” he murmurs against you. 
You can only hum around him, wanting to feel him cumming down your throat. 
“Please do it, cum on my tongue,” he whispers as he drags his fingers in and out of you, making your stomach tense up hotly. 
You squeeze your eyes shut, twisting your wet palm around him as drool continues to roll down his length. You want him to find his release, you want it so badly. 
You grab his knee, holding on tightly as a cry tears from your throat and your legs nearly give out when your high washes over you, shaking through your core and making your body feel tense yet released all at once. His other hand gripping your hip tightly to keep you pressed against his mouth, not letting you move away.
“Mmm,” Steve hums against you as though you are the sweetest thing he ever tasted. 
You wish you could see his face. 
“Just like that,” he praises, giving your butt another squeeze, he laps at your pussy, dragging his tongue along your folds, teasing your already sensitive clit before he moves back to your entrance. 
His own hips almost buck up when you hollow your cheeks further and take him deeper, nearly making him cum too soon for his liking. 
“W-Wait, baby, please… I wanna cum inside of you,” he says with a shaky, pleading voice as he tugs at your waist, trying to pull you off him so he can have you back in his arms, so he can see your face again and feel you around him differently. He would’ve chuckled at the whine falling from your lips if he wasn’t so emotional right now. “Come here,” he whispers, holding you tightly as he turns you around and pulls you onto his lap, straddling him. 
Meeting his eyes again, your lips part when you see the burning desperation in them, his cheeks are flushed and his chin glistens with your release. He looks so beautiful. 
Steve’s hands move from your waist to your hips, fingers digging into your skin as your own hands reach for his shoulders. 
No words need to be said, you both know what you want, what you need as your eager hands reach for one another, trying to pull the other closer and closer until you’re skin to skin, closer than you have ever been before. 
“My beautiful girl,” he whispers, leaning his forehead against yours and wrapping his arm around you, hugging you against him as you place your hand between you both and wrap it around his length again, teasing both him and yourself when you slip it through your sensitive, wet folds. 
Your bottom lip trembles, emotions running deep because of his words. 
You never thought that you would ever hear such words falling from his lips, you never thought you would ever be this blessed. 
You throw your arm around his shoulder and press your lips against his as you slowly sink down on his length, taking him deeper and deeper until you’re fully seated on him, making both yourself and him whimper in pleasure. His fingers dig deeper into your skin, holding you tighter than ever, he stops breathing when he feels you clenching around him, whining as you adjust to his size. 
His heart skips a beat when you place your palm on his chest, resting it there as you press yourself even tighter against him and it hits him – this is it, everything he ever wanted now belongs to him, it’s all his, you are his. 
And he is yours, wholeheartedly and unconditionally yours. 
You start rolling your hips slowly, breathing heavier, holding onto him tighter, gasping and sucking in sharp breaths when he moves with you, pushing his hips up as he fucks into you deeper. 
A sniffle falls from you when you pull away from the kiss, breathing in shakily, you open your eyes slowly to find him looking at you already, a loving, soft gaze flashing in his honey eyes, the love in them not hidden at all, it’s all open for you now, all there for you to see and to feel as he leans into you, pressing his lips to your chin and peppering kissing along your jawline, making his way down to your neck as he murmurs your name sweetly. 
“You have no idea how much I love you,” he whispers, followed by your name that rolls off his tongue so beautifully. “I was going crazy, thinking that I didn’t stand a chance with you, honey.” 
He was the only one for you, from the moment you laid your eyes on him, he was the only one. 
“S-Steve,” you whisper as you feel yourself nearing another sob, his words and his touches overwhelming you.
You bury your hands in his hair, combing your fingers through it before you grab it tightly. 
“I don’t think you understand,” he whispers against your collarbones, leaving tender kisses and marking your skin with love bites, “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 
Your bottom lip quivers, your chest contracts and you can’t hold it in any longer. 
Years of pining and longing, of feeling hopeless and unworthy of him and his love while watching, admiring from afar and wishing for nothing but a chance with him, a piece of his heart, all while losing yourself in a darkness you have found home in, a darkness he took away again. 
He gave you light and warmth and now he gave you more, not only a piece of his heart but he gave you his whole. 
Your tears spill just as strongly as before, an uncontrollable sob falls from your lips, leading you to bury your face in his neck, you wrap your arms around him so tightly, hugging him strongly, breathing in his scent and letting your heart match the beating of his own. 
“I got you,” Steve whispers as he blinks through his own tears, “I got you, darling and I’m not letting you go, not ever.” 
You press your lips to his skin, shutting your eyes tightly. The burning in your chest, in your stomach all feeling too much, you hold onto him, you cling to him, scared of letting go. 
Steve’s heart could burst at any second now, feeling your tears rolling down his skin, your hands, your body clinging to him like you’re afraid to lose him because you are, you are afraid to lose him. 
Someone is afraid to lose him. 
And he nearly let you slip through his fingers. 
A silent cry falls from his lips this time, tears pool in his eyes and he pulls you closer and closer until you’re completely flush against one another, pushing in deeper and deeper to feel you closer, to feel you in the most intimate way as he spreads you open and you pick up the pace, rolling your hips faster, whimpering and gasping into his neck. 
“Please don’t let me go,” you whisper, pressing kisses to his hot skin, “please don’t ever leave me,” you beg despite the promise he just made to you. 
The brokenness in your shaky voice only makes him more desperate to show you just how deeply in love he is with you, how he would do anything for you, how there is nothing and no one that could take him away from you, how he would come crawling back to you over and over again even if you didn’t love him. 
He slides his hand up your body, cupping each side of your face, he urges you to face him, wanting to see you again and you look at him, with big and glassy eyes, you look into his eyes. 
“I will never leave you,” he whispers softly, wiping your tears before he reaches for your hand, bringing it back up to his chest, he places it over his heart, “I’m yours, my heart belongs to you, darling.”
Steve sees it in your eyes, just how long you have wanted this for, how special this moment is to you, how special he is to you, how much love there was hidden in your heart just for him. 
He will worship the ground you walk on for the rest of his life. 
“I love you so much,” you sniffle, unable to say anything else. 
His lips curl into a smile despite the tears that fall down his already wet cheeks, he pulls you against him, bumping his nose against yours accidentally as he pecks your lips, “you make me so fucking happy,” he kisses you, “and I don’t think you even realize that.” Kiss. “I’m so in love with you, honey.” Kiss. “I love you with my whole heart–”
You smash your lips against his, kissing him with everything that you have, moving your lips softly yet roughly with his, parting them with your tongue as you slip it into his mouth, deepening the kiss further. 
He moans against you, placing his large hand on your cheek, he matches your pace and kisses you back hungrily, getting lost in the feeling of you, of your heat and your burning skin against his, your walls that tighten so strongly around him that it makes his mouth water and his cock twitch inside of you, his body screams for release but his heart aches for this moment to never stop, not realizing yet that this is only the beginning of your story. 
Your hands grab at whatever they can reach, his shoulders, his biceps, his face, his messy hair and finally his hands as you pull them away from your chest so you can intertwine your fingers with his. You feel the coil in your stomach growing bigger and bigger, the burning in your thighs intensifying by the second. His moans and whimpers vibrate against your lips when you keep clenching around him.
Filthy sounds take over the room, your whines of desperation, the slick noise of his cock slipping in and out of you as you ride him, the sound of your lips smacking against each other. 
But nothing, nothing about this moment is filthy or dirty. Everything about this is more than special, more than what words could describe this very moment. Your hearts beat the same rhythm, finally finding each other, your souls entwine as your bodies meet in the most intimate way, you are both overwhelmed by the feelings that rush through you and yet you feel peace because you finally are where you were always supposed to be, in each other’s arms, holding one another and making love to each other as everything fades to nothing but the two of you. 
And it feels like forever, neither of you no longer wet from the rain but from the sweat that coats your foreheads, your moans turn into weak whimpers as you’re both panting, your kisses never stopping, not even when you lose your breaths, you are aching, you both are, you are sensitive and in need of release. 
You are shaking and so is he, his cock so hard inside of you, your walls so sensitive as you are twitching. 
He holds you possessively, from the strong hold on your waist to the touch of his hand on your cheeks, he is showing you with his touch that you are his, only his. 
No words need to be shared, no warnings, nothing, you both feel it, you both know what you want, what you need. 
Despite the lack of air, your kiss deepens, your lips moving roughly and needily as his digits work on your sensitive nub, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You wrap your arms around him again, hugging him so tightly as you and he finally let go, allowing yourself to bask in the pleasure of coming undone. 
Steve moans so needily, pressing his palm so strongly against your shoulder blade, he keeps you close, whimpering your name against your lips followed by not one but a few ‘I love you’s’ as he fills you up to the brim. 
“S-Stevie,” you whisper shakily, twitching and clenching around him still, even as you slow down, more and more. “I love you.” 
And even when this moment felt forever, it still wasn’t enough, how could it ever be? Not even forever would be enough with you, he needs more, so much more. 
You fall limply against him and rest your head on his shoulder as you try to catch your breath and he holds you through it all, panting just like you as he lies back, taking you with him, and rests his head on the pillows behind him, playing with your hair and running his fingers through it, tracing your skin with the tips of his fingers, making no moves to pull out of you just yet. 
The heat of your skin burns against his own, your hand lays over his heart so perfectly and he takes it in his, raising it up to his lips and kissing your bare ring finger. 
In the arms of the man you love is where you found your home a long time ago but now it no longer feels cold or lonesome, one sided or saddening, it truly feels like home now, filled with light and warmth, love. He found a home in you too, he finally did. 
Seconds and minutes go by and you stay like this, clinging to one another and loving every moment of this. Your cheek is squished against his chest, you are breathing him in, your heart fluttering at the thought that this is the true beginning of it all. 
You open your eyes, your lips curling into a smile when you find him looking down at you, adoration so deep in his beautiful features, his hand still holding yours. 
It’s so dark in the room, the lightning no longer flashing, thunder no longer rumbling, the storm has passed and only the light rain remains. You still see his handsome face, the color of his cheeks, the pretty brown eyes that you adore so much, his kissable lips. 
You cup his cheek and tilt your chin up, moving closer to him so you can press your lips against his cheek. 
“You’re so pretty, Steve Harrington,” you whisper and kiss the corner of his mouth, “pretty baby.” 
Steve doesn’t know why out of all the words you have called him, these are the ones that make him blush the most, his cheeks redden and he feels grateful for the darkness in the room. 
“That’s you, darling,” he whispers and steals a kiss from you, snaking his arm around you further, he smiles when you press your palms against his chest and lean your chin down, staring up at him with love filled eyes. 
“Darling,” you whisper, lips curling into a smile, “I love that.” 
His hands squeeze your waist, his eyes not straying away from you, not for a single second, “yeah?” 
You nod and lean closer to kiss his chin, “mhm.” 
As you lay here on top of him, showering him in kisses, gazing up at him starry eyed, he feels comfort and warmth blossom in him thinking back to a time when he wasn’t even aware of all this, when he didn’t think that it was even possible for anyone to love him, to find out that you did, you out of all people, you who he thought hated his guts more than anything but loved him in secret, a secret you nearly took to your grave. 
Oh, he would have suffered, he would have felt such a tragic loss if you had died that night but it wouldn’t have hit him until weeks or maybe even months later, when he would have finally allowed himself to look at your picture, to remember the memories of you, to remember your voice and your beautiful face, remember the few gentle moments you had with each other, only then would he have felt the truth coming to life, the feelings he always refused and denied, he would have realized that it was you, that it should have been you, that it was always supposed to be you but it would have been too late, you would have been gone and it would’ve broken him, he would have never recovered, he would have never forgiven himself for finding his love for you when it was much too late.
You would have been the loss of his life. 
That thought shouldn’t even plague him right now because you’re here, in his arms, tracing his skin with your finger as you smile up at him. 
“I love you so much,” he whispers instead of tracing those words into your skin like he had gotten used to doing. 
This all still feels like a dream, a way too good of a dream.
The smile that reached your eyes wasn’t one he had ever seen before, no matter how happy, how comfortable you were around him, he had never seen such a bright, happy, relaxing smile on your pretty features. 
He had never felt the touch of your lips in such a soft way, a kiss so delicate that it made his chest vibrate with a new wave of emotions. 
“And I love you,” you murmur against his lips, “I hope you don’t get sick of me saying that.”
Steve scoffs at your words, raising his brows as he stares at you in disbelief, his hand moving up to your upper back, resting them on your shoulder blades as he presses a kiss to your nose, “honey, this is all I ever wanted.”
To hear him say such words only makes the dream-like state you are in much more intense. 
Who would’ve thought that you would hear these words from him? 
“I always had a crush on you,” Steve whispers, admitting something to you that he himself struggled to accept only a few months back. 
This time, it’s your eyebrows that shoot up in surprise, shock flashing in your eyes, “w-what?”
There is no way that Steve ever felt anything other than dislike for you, especially before the upside down. 
Steve chuckles to himself, moving his hand up to your face, he tucks your hair behind your ear and smiles at you. 
“I always watched you too, Blondie,” he admits, watching the way your softened eyes fill with confusion, “but I was an idiot, I-I didn’t know how to talk to you, I knew how to talk to every other girl but you? Fuck,” he sighs, furrowing his brows as he takes a deep breath, “I didn’t know how to talk to you because you made me so fucking nervous, it’s like all my confidence slipped away the moment you looked at me with those pretty eyes.” 
Your breath hitches in your throat at his eyes well up with tears again, words he had kept inside for so long now finally slipping from his lips. 
“And you weren’t… you weren’t–”
“Nice?” You ask, tilting your head to the side, your heart starts pounding again. 
He chuckles for a moment and shakes his head, “no, I– you weren’t supposed to be nice to me, I wasn’t nice to you, but that’s not what I mean, I… You just, I don’t know how to– I always messed up around you and it kept happening so I put on this King Steve persona, especially when I was around you and fuck… Honey, I tried to impress you but I always felt like you weren’t looking at me, no matter what I did, you were never looking at me.”
You don’t know what hit you harder tonight, the three words he repeatedly blessed you with or this revelation. 
All you know is that you feel it in your core, the shock and the confusion. 
You shake your head a little, like you don’t understand a word he said. 
“When we wrote notes to each other, I-I didn’t want to admit it to myself back then but I really fucking hoped that something would come out of it but nothing did… I know you thought that Tommy set me up to it but he didn’t.”
You don’t know what to say, you don’t even know what to think, it’s all so much, it’s all too much for one night. 
“I-I don’t–”
Steve cups your cheeks, shaking his head as he isn’t done yet. 
“No, I waited for you… I waited for you at every game, I always looked around trying to find you in the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of you, even when I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I always waited for you.” 
Your eyes crinkle though they well up with tears again, you couldn’t describe the feelings in you, not even if you tried. 
His hands on your skin feel softer than ever, his eyes shine with tears and his bottom lip quivers.
“I was there, Steve,” you whisper, blinking through your tears, swallowing the nervousness, “I was there.” 
He nods, lips curling into a soft smile, “I know that now b-but I wish I knew back then, I wish I wasn’t so hard on you…”
You know the look in his eyes, the regret, the guilt he feels from that day at the mall and the few other bad ones. 
But they don’t matter anymore, they haven’t mattered for a while now, and they especially don’t matter now. 
Shaking your head, you lean up, cupping his cheek too, you kiss him sweetly, softly, stealing his breath away with tenderness. You place your hand over his, guiding it down to your chest and placing it over your heart. 
“Those days are over, they don’t matter anymore,” you whisper and keep a tight hold on his hand, “you have me now.”
And you have him. 
He is yours, he wants to be yours so badly. 
Steve nods, leaning into the touch of your hand, he blinks his tears away and moves his head, pressing his lips against your palm, and he kisses you there, making you smile. 
“And you have me,” he whispers softly, watching the way your eyes sparkle with happiness, with love. 
You catch him by surprise when you start showering him in kisses, pressing your lips to his face, to his cheeks and his forehead, to his nose and his chin and then finally his lips, making him giggle at the sudden sweet affection and then, you cutely nuzzle your nose against his, giggling through it all yourself. 
You only did this once, on the fourth of July, when you were wasted. Your lips went crazy across his whole face, you kissed him all over, complimented him and looked at him as though he was your own personal sun. 
How could he not see back then? 
How could he not see that it wasn’t the alcohol but the love you already felt for him, the love you couldn’t contain in that moment. 
Steve makes you squeal when he moves too suddenly, grabbing your waist and flipping you over so he is the one on top, he cups your cheeks and leans down, doing what you just did, leaving no spot unkissed. 
“Steve!” You giggle, squeezing your eyes shut as he trails kisses down to your jaw and your neck, tickling you with his hair and the light stubble around his mouth. You grab at his waist, holding on tightly. 
“You’re so fucking cute,” he murmurs into your neck, kissing you there over and over until you grab his face and pull him back up to you. 
He looks down at you, moving his hand up to your face, he tucks away your hair and caresses your cheek, admiring your puffy lips, your beautiful eyes as you look at him with nothing but love in them. 
Everything he ever wanted is now right in front of him, in reach and now all he needs to do is ask. 
“Do you want to go on a date with me, Blondie?” He asks, unable to contain the smile on his face as he watches the way your eyes crinkle and a giggle falls from your lips, you cup each side of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, answering him in the sweetest way.  He only chuckles against your lips, pulling away for just an inch in order to mumble against your lips, “I need words darling…”
And that little word that will change your life forever finally comes out of your lips,
“Yes.”
 ♡
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @maroon-cardigan @thecreelhouse @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @sherrylyn0628 @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars @moon-flowerrs
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bratbarzal · 6 months ago
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On My Side (NH13)
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Pairing: Nico "I think the hockey gods were on my side" Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy
WC: 6k
part of the On Your Side universe
*This is a bonus chapter set after the ending of the overall fic, and can be read as a standalone if you haven't read the fic, but if you want to understand their dynamic and Poppy's personality a little more, you should!!!
Description: 18+ MDNI, Nico comes home to Poppy after scoring his first ever career hat-trick for the Devils. Way more fluff than smut but Nico is down bad as always.
A/N: You're all a bunch of enablers and that's all I have to say on the matter!!! Hope this fills the void while I continue to struggle with chapter ten lmao there is mention of Baby Cheeto in here but no spoilers for her name. Nico calls her Bug as a nickname, like _____-Bug, Chäferli (little bug) or just Bug for short, but it isn't her actual name. I can't use Cheeto forever lmao. I was literally trying to think of a title and remembered he said the words "on my side" WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HE'S A MASTERMIND he's an oys!truther if I ever saw one! Painfully obsessed with Poppy if you ask me. Also the way Cheeto would rock the heck out of this it's so cute I had to share
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Nico Hischier likes to think he’s a patient man.
Finally scoring his first career hat-trick after 8 years in the NHL, after 476 games played with the Devils, would be the ultimate testament to that.
Doing so in the first ever game with his daughter in attendance - on home turf, his mother and Poppy holding her up in the family suite during warm-ups in her little Devils teddy sleeper that he can only just make out from down on the ice, but has his rampant heart beating out of his chest all the same - has him thinking that maybe, after all those years, after all those games, the stars had been aligning for him the whole time. 
And it was that sort of patience he had tried to tune into since the end of the second period, when he knew Poppy had left early to try skip traffic and get their little girl home safe for bed.
It’s what he tries to channel in the aftermath of the game, swarmed by reporters in the locker room, trying to remain polite and professional, not rushing them through their questions or giving half-assed answers - knowing he owes a lot more than that to the organisation that has allowed him to get this far. Trying to save just a speck of energy to give when he finally gets home, collapsing into the warm embrace of the girls he knows are waiting patiently for him.
It’s what he holds onto when he has to take a detour on his way home, dropping his mom off at her hotel and trying not to visibly squirm in his seat as she regales him with stories of how his daughter had captured the hearts of everyone she encountered, swallowing down the slight jealousy that he hadn’t been there to see it and clinging to the fact that he had his own success elsewhere in the night - success that played second fiddle in his own mother’s eyes to the experience of sharing her granddaughter’s first ever game with her, an experience he had to endure twice as she called his father from his car, deep chuckles ringing through the speakers as he tried to get a word in edge ways beyond her excitement.
It’s what has him shaking with anticipation as he almost skips down the hall to their apartment, mustering up the rest of his energy to walk into their home without the weight of the world on his shoulders, leaving any doubt, any insecurity, any lingering self-deprecation at the door so he can bask in this moment with the two hearts that are shaped entirely to fit him into them.
And it’s what has him shaking off whatever disappointment tries to creep in when he sees his little girl asleep in Poppy’s arms, knowing whatever tiny part of her he will ever get will always be enough - even if her big, glassy eyes aren’t looking up at him, even if he doesn’t come home to one of those heart-stopping beaming smiles she has started to give to him whenever he enters the room - her being here, sleeping safely in the arms of her beautiful mother, and him getting to come home to whatever version of them he can, is more than he could ever ask for.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the hat-trick hero.” Poppy’s soft voice carries to him as he makes his way over, dropping his bag on the floor and keys on the counter, heading straight to where she is now standing and pressing a kiss to her waiting lips. “Hi, handsome.”
“She didn’t wanna say goodnight to her daddy, huh?” He tries not to sound too dejected - he’s supposed to be on a high, after all - but after half an hour of his mother unintentionally bragging about all the attention she had been giving to her Gromi all night, he can’t help the slight sag of his shoulders - especially knowing that she’s going to be spending the morning with his mom tomorrow, too.
“Sorry, baby, we watched a little of you on the TV and then she got hangry,” Nico finds himself hypnotised by her still figure, enamoured with the way she exudes sheer calmness. The smile that creeps up on his lips seems to do so by muscle memory - a dopey kind of smile he’s probably had plastered on his face since she came into the world kicking and screaming 2 months ago, a smile permanently etched into his features from probably even before that. “I promise I tried to keep her up, she literally fell asleep on my boob.” Poppy whispers, watching with warm, glittery eyes as Nico takes in the sight of his two favourite people in front of him - Poppy already changed into one of his shirts, settled for the night, and his baby girl all cosy in her little teddy bear onesie, pacifier bobbing between her plush little lips.
“Look at her hat,” he pouts, running a finger along the folded seam of the way-too-big beanie Poppy has perched on top of her head, the knit fabric falling just short of her closed eyes. “That’s adorable.”
“Your mom put it on her before we left,” Poppy chuckles lightly, “Wanted to keep it on until you got home, we had to celebrate the hatty properly.” Her brows raise as if gesturing to the bill of the cap on her own head, one of his, he’s sure - no doubt stolen from their closet as soon as she got home.
“My little good luck charm,” he leans down to press a kiss to her cheek before he lifts himself back up and bends toward Poppy, “Gonna have to start coming to all the games.”
“I’ll let you break the news to her when she wakes up,” she hums as he presses his lips to hers, “She has a very low tolerance for everybody telling her to smile and getting all up in her space, been grouchy all night.”
“Just like Mami, huh, bug?”
“Oh, you think you’ve got jokes now?” Poppy scoffs as she steps back, ready to take their daughter to bed.  “Score your first hatty and you think you’re funny?”
“Always been funny, babe,” he smirks, flicking at the cap sat on her head before he takes it off, flipping it to place on top of his own and following her down the hall. “I’ll prove it to you when I get her first laugh.”
“She’ll be laughing at you, not with you.”
“Better than nothing.”
Nico sits on the edge of their bed as Poppy reaches into the crib to retrieve the sleeping bag in there before she lays it down beside him. He does the work unzipping and readying it for her to place their daughter inside while she rocks her still-sleeping body, and the two of them work in tandem to get her inside before zipping her back up, with Nico softly pulling the beanie from her head and watching her fluffy hair fan out in its absence. 
He runs a gentle hand over her head to smooth it down as Poppy lifts her, and leans into where she offers her up for a kiss before she puts her in the crib. Nico watches with a soft smile etched into his features, the familiarity of it all spreading warmth throughout his chest, his favourite part of every day being this - sharing a goodnight routine in the comfortable quiet, the two loves of his life safe and happy within arms reach.
None of it feels new or daunting anymore, just easy - and despite the constant warnings of it not always being this way, Nico just wants to feel it to its fullest extent; sheer happiness and serenity. 
Poppy returns to the front of him, and he instinctively spreads his legs to accommodate her, palms laying flat against his chest and his hands falling to her hips. She just looks at him for a good few seconds, eyes shimmering with admiration, lips tugged between teeth and a head tilted as her expression flickers into something more intense. 
Her hands travel down his arms, wordlessly, until she grasps at his wrists and pulls him to stand, leaning up to press a fleeting kiss to the corner of his mouth. “C’mon,” she whispers while her lips are still against his skin, “Wanna celebrate you.”
As if getting to come home to her isn’t celebration enough.
He follows her back through the hall with their hands clasped together, arms stretched between them so he can watch the hem of his shirt ride up against the backs of her soft thighs, and he starts to feel his throat go dry.
He thinks of all those mornings they would spend in the kitchen together in the summer, his shirts a little tighter around her pregnant belly, riding up against her curves and leaving very little to the imagination when she’d wear just his t-shirt and nothing else.
She’s wearing panties now, he can tell, could see the bottom of them peaking out when she’d leaned over to put their daughter in her crib. But he doesn’t mind inching them off, quite likes the slow pace of unwrapping her like a gift - a well-deserved present for all his hard efforts on the ice.
It’s where his fingers find themselves almost immediately when she stops just short of the couch, spinning and practically launching herself into his waiting arms. He can’t help but chuckle as they collide, large arms wrapping around her frame as she melts into him, hands gripping either side of his jaw to pull him down in a clash of teeth and tongues. He palms at her ass as she presses her hips forward, fingers slipping under the hem of her panties and wriggling under them until his knuckles are covered by the fabric, squeezing at the flesh until she groans into his open mouth. 
He feels deft fingers working between them to rid him of his own clothes, clumsily popping open the buttons of his jacket before working their way up his chest, slipping into the arms and helping him shrug it off. The weight of it drops to the floor with a heavy thud, and when her hands return to his chest for the next item of clothing to be removed, she pushes him back with an exaggerated huff.
“Baby, how many layers do you need?”
“You in some kind of rush, or something?” He chuckles, chasing her lips with a crane of his neck, getting a quick kiss in before she pushes him back again with palms laid flat on his broad chest.
“Your daughter has some sort of radar for when we’re within 2 inches of each other,” she says as her hands slide down, the feel of them through the extra layers he has on still present as she travels past the hard ridges of his abdomen. She grasps tight at the bottom of his hoody, and he lends a hand to tugging it up and over his head, throwing that to the floor, too. “We gotta get a move on before she wakes up,”
“My daughter?” He scoffs, removing his undershirt while she’s distracted, relishing the feeling of a heavy gaze on his chest once it’s fully revealed to her hungry eyes. “She’s really given you such a hard time that you’re disowning her?”
“She isn’t letting me have a hard time at all, that’s the problem.” Her hands reach back out seemingly of their own volition, fingers fanning out across his skin as her stare glides down, the weight of it sliding down his skin to the point he feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention. 
“That was weak for you.” He teases.
“I’m out of practice,” she pouts, closing the distance once more and pressing her lips to the slightly stubbled skin of his jaw, nipping at the flesh as her ministrations travel across his features, his jaw, his neck, the spot just below his ear, where she mutters, “Wanna show you how proud I am of you,”
“Oh yeah?” He asks as she works at the button of his pants, pushing until they pool at his feet and he can kick them off.
“Mmhm,” she moves her kisses back to his waiting lips, “Been waiting to get my hands on you all night.”
“Been waiting to get my hands on you all day,” he mutters back, bending to lift her with hands gripping her ass, “Been thinking about you teasing me in the kitchen this morning,” he starts heading for the couch, mind spinning as she continues kissing him - thinking of all the plans she had been making for the two of them while his mom takes Little Bug out in the morning, finally giving them some much needed, uninterrupted time to themselves. Plans of wasting the morning away between the sheets, sharing showers, having no responsibilities other than paying attention to one another. “Thinking about having you all to myself tomorrow."
“You gonna let me give you a preview?” 
He chuckles as he falls back onto the couch, all grace thrown out the window as they sink into the cushions, her still holding onto him and now straddling his lap, lips stretched into a blissful smile as he looks up at her.
She presses them straight to his, and he can’t bring himself to mind the way their teeth clash at her eagerness, hips grinding down onto his as she settles onto her knees.
He could spend forever kissing her like this, sensual and sloppy, the slight scratch of her nails against the sides of his neck and his grip on her thighs guiding her movements straight onto the aching growth between his legs.
He bucks up to meet her, and their lips part with a wet smack as she groans. 
"Bet you can’t wait for me to shave, eh?” he smiles as he swipes a thumb across the space between her nose and lip, the skin red raw from the scratch of his moustache.
“You know damn well I’d ban you from ever touching a razor again if I could.” She says, breathlessly, slowly thrusting down onto him.
“Tell that to your little red muzzy, you’re giving Luke a run for his money,”
“Hey,” she swats at his chest in feigned outrage, “The kid tried his best!” 
“No more talk about Hughes when you’re sat on my lap,”
“You brought him up!”
“Thought I was getting a preview,” he groans as he shuffles, reaching between them to slip a hand between her legs, tucking his fingers beneath her panties and swiping against her heat. “Jesus, Poppy.”
“Told you I’ve been thinking about you all night,” she pecks at his lips again, raising her hips a little to give him further access to slide his fingers through the almost excessive wetness that’s near enough soaked through her panties. 
He prods at her entrance, two fingers slipping straight in until she’s gasping against his cheek in sheer bliss. His digits move with ease, working his way up to his knuckles as he drinks up her pleasured moans, his chin tilting until their open mouths just press together without kissing, panting against one another as he works her up. 
He pushes the fabric of his shirt up her thighs with his other hand, exposing his handiwork to hungry eyes so he can see the way she glistens between her legs - can see the way his fingers slide in an out of her.
She takes his shirt off, throwing it beside them on the couch so she can see too, looking down for only a moment before she’s throwing her head back.
He’s so hard just watching her that it’s almost painful - straining against the seams of his briefs until they’re tenting beneath her. And she must notice, nimble fingers working him out until he’s thick and hot and heavy in her palm, gripping around him in with her thumb swiping at his tip, hips shuffling until his fingers slip out of her heat and she can move on her knees to hover above his waiting cock. 
He takes a hold of himself while her hands raise to steady herself on his shoulders, and he waits with bated breath as she lowers herself, sinking past her entrance until he’s sheathed entirely, tight, wet walls wrapped around him in a long-awaited embrace.
Their moans fall out in sync, both of them stilling, the only movements between them being the soft rise and fall of panting chests. 
It’s a minute before she starts to rock her hips, leaning back down to distract herself from whatever unease needs to fade away with the press of her lips to his - tongue swiping at his, sucking and nipping at the muscle as she works herself to the point where she can lift herself up a little.
“Fuck me,” he whines out in an elongated groan as she sinks down on him again, tight and slick and warm, and he feels tension in every cell in his body, strung taut to the point where he feels like he could snap entirely in any given moment.
“I’m working on it,” she pouts, “Think I overestimated my talents here,”
“Think you’re very talented,” he hums, pressing a kiss to her jaw as he lays large hands on the dip of her waist, fingers tickling into the arch of her back so her movements are a little smoother, a little more fluid. “So good to me, yeah? Just need a hand.”
He guides her hips into a steady rhythm - up, down, forward, back - until she’s rocking onto him in a mind numbing pace. 
God, he thinks, this is heaven.
It’s been so long since he’s had her like this. Probably all the way back in Switzerland in the summer, and he thinks a lot about this situation mirrors that - trying to stay quiet, trying to feel as much of each other as they possibly can without drawing attention from sleeping parties one room over. 
He remembers thinking, all those months ago, that it wouldn’t be possible to love Poppy any more than he did, then - that he couldn’t possibly feel more for her than he did when he shared that part of his world, and she had embraced it with open arms. She had blended straight into his family, had adapted herself to his routine, had brought new life and colour to what he had always considered vibrant, anyway, but she had changed the meaning of it all.
But she had done the same to life in Jersey. 
Long gone were any feelings of homesickness he used to get - especially around this time of the year. Fully immersed now into his season, summer seeming too far from his reach that he started to forget what home felt like. But not anymore.
Home is Poppy. Home is their baby girl sleeping soundly in the next room. It’s playing one of the greatest games of his career so far, meeting milestones he had been reaching for for so long, standing in the centre of the arena he has built his career in, hearing the rapturous cheers of fans chanting his name, and driving back knowing the love garnered there could never possibly compare to the love waiting for him in his apartment.
He brings her face down with a palm splayed gently across her jaw, fingers reaching back to tickle at the nape of her neck and thumb swiping tenderly at her soft cheekbone, until their mouths collide. He shifts his hips to meet her ministrations, finding a rhythm that has her gasping into his mouth, enough that his tongue can slip past the seam of her lips and press against hers - hot and fervid and eager.
He wonders as the pressure builds if this passion will ever wither. If this need to profess his love for her will ever wain away, if he’ll ever be casual about the way in which she has become the entire centre of his universe.
He hopes not. 
He hopes when he’s 80, he looks over at her and his heart still hammers in his chest. He hopes his mouth struggles to make sense of all the ways in which his brain tries to convey what she means to him - hopes he still stutters around his sentences and feels weak to the very base of his spine at the mere thought of her. 
In fact, he doesn’t hope at all.
He knows he will.
“You feel so good,” Poppy mutters into his mouth, panting against his swollen lips, “I’ve missed this so much.”
“Yeah?” He thrusts up, “You missed being full of me?”
He’s missed this far out look in her eyes, glassed over and almost gone as she nods in response - they haven’t really been able to get to this stage with their quick fumbles and rushed hookups in the last 2 weeks since she got the all clear from her doctor for them to start being intimate again. Sure, they had developed other methods over those first 6 weeks, making good use of hands and mouths in whatever limited time they could find together, but nothing compares to this.
To being attached at every point like they are one.
“You gonna come for me?”
He still remembers her tells, fluttering lashes, trembling thighs, stuttered breaths all combined with the spine tingling way in which she tightens around him, and he manages to time it so they come together, one final burst of energy used to lift his hips just as she sinks down, body slumping into tremors that wrack through the both of them.
He holds her in place for a second, large hands pushing his shirt up her back as he starts to rub circles into her flesh, soothing her back into a softened consciousness - hazy and frazzled but still in tune with every movement he makes. 
Her nose presses into the expanse of his neck, lips pecking at all the sensitive spots she can seek out as they both try to catch their breaths - and he realises she was probably right before, they haven’t had time like this for a while now. 
Still, he’ll take what he can get.
She lifts her hips just enough for him to slip out, and reaches to the small table at the side of the couch where she has miraculously stashed a pack of baby wipes. She takes two out, using one to clean the both of them before she bundles it into the clean one and discards of it back onto the table to be disposed when she eventually gets the feeling back in her legs.
And it’s as soon as Poppy’s legs give way and she collapses into him that they both hear it - a soft wail carrying through the monitor behind the couch. Cries filling the space around them and bursting their bubble with an almighty pop!
“Told you,” Poppy mumbles into his neck, skin sticky with a soft sheen of sweat. “Won’t even let me get a hatty of my own,”
Nico scoffs, snorting out a loud chuckle that shakes where she rests on his chest, and despite her feigned irritation, she feels her cheeks puff out into a soft, unbreakable grin. “Like you’d have lasted 3 rounds.”
“What happened to me being very talented?” She pouts, mustering whatever strength she has left to push herself up, swinging a leg back over and moving to stand, only for him to grasp back at her, pulling her until her back falls into the plush of the couch.
“Talented, Poppy, not super human,” he chuckles, standing from the cushions and tucking himself back into his briefs. “I’ve got her.”
“It’s probably wind, I changed and fed her before she went down.”
He presses one last kiss to Poppy’s head before heavy feet carry him down the hall toward their bedroom, where their daughter’s crib is temporarily positioned until she starts to sleep a little further through the night. He doesn’t bother flicking the light on as he enters, able to follow his muscle memory straight over to where she is without tripping over his own feet, and he lifts her as soon as he can, cooing at her as she cries into his chest.
“I’ve got you, Chäferli,” he mutters as he rocks her gently, large hand completely encompassing where he can feel her back through her sleeping bag. “Daddy’s here,”
He reaches over to shut off the monitor before he ambles over to his and Poppy’s bed, sitting with his daughter still clutched to his chest, little hiccups coming out as his hand tries to work up her wind. 
“Got yourself all worked up, huh?” He asks, so deep into his routine of talking to her about anything and everything that he no longer second guesses it. “My little bug, you’re okay.”
It takes a good few minutes to calm her down, to the point that Nico thinks she might even be hungry and he’ll have to call Poppy in, wiggling a finger between her lips to see if she latches on, but he continues to pat and rub at her back until she burps, and her cries turn into little coos, that turn into soft pants with wide, sparkling eyes staring up at him in wonder. 
He looks down at her in the same way, dark eyes flitting across her every feature. Across the soft but thick head of hair, the crazy long eyelashes, the puffy lips and the little button nose. 
She looks so much like Poppy that he feels his chest ache every time he looks at her - but it’s a good kind of ache, a longing and content kind of ache, that only aches to remind him of everything he stands to lose if he doesn’t work hard enough to keep it.
“Gromi told me you were charming everybody at daddy’s work,” he tells her with a soft smile, the pad of his finger pressing at the tip of her nose. “Says she’s gonna have to show you off around the city on her own tomorrow.”
Tiny fingers reach up to clasp around his, holding on and clutching with a grip he’s sure wasn’t so firm that morning when he had said his goodbyes. 
“Careful, bug,” he tells her, “You hold Papi’s hand too long and he won’t let you go.”
Wide eyes gleam back at him, and he watches in awe as they start to crinkle in the corners. 
He becomes all too aware of the hammering of his heart, and lays her beside him on the bed in fears that the echoing thud of it beating against his chest might disturb her. He curls up beside her, making sure she’s flat as he gets himself comfortable, and just lays there for a good few minutes, watching her as she watches him.
There isn’t a feeling in the world that compares to this, he thinks. He could score a hundred hat-tricks, have a million people chanting his name, and it won’t come close to how adored he feels in this moment, how proud he feels to have played any part in making a little human so perfect and beautiful.
He leans forward, kissing softly at her puffy cheek, careful not to press too hard that she feels the scratch of his moustache, and he relishes the little squeal of what he hopes is delight she gives in return. 
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Poppy gives it 20 minutes before she decides to venture through to their bedroom, having cleaned up and busied herself sterilising bottles so they’re ready for Katja to come pick up in the morning. It’s been a rare occurrence lately that Nico has had his one-on-one time with their daughter, him being so busy with training and their trip to Florida - and he wouldn’t say it, wouldn’t fess up to the ways in which it gets him down, but she knows he feels like he’s missing a lot. 
She changes so much day to day - discovers so much about the world around her - and as much as Poppy tries to save things for him to see on his own, tries to find the balance between sharing the little moments she gets with him and letting him experience them for himself, she knows there’s nothing she can do to keep that nagging voice at bay.
He’s always been that way, unable to completely silence the thoughts that tell him no matter what he does, it isn’t enough. 
He’d even done it tonight - his first career hat-trick, him being the first Swiss-born player to score a natural hat-trick, a stadium filled with fans chanting his name, dominating a team the Devils hadn’t beat at home in close to 10 years - and it hadn’t been his best performance. 
She would gladly spend the rest of her life convincing him he’s good enough, she thinks. 
Her and their little Bug being the ones who get to welcome him home after a night like tonight? She doesn’t know what she did in a past life to get the Gods on her side like this, but she’d do it again a thousand times over.
As her feet pad softly down the hall toward their room, she listens out for the soft voice she usually has the pleasure of eavesdropping on when she thinks he doesn’t know she’s hovering on the other side of the door. A soft voice that tells their little girl exaggerated stories from his day about her uncles, about his games, about whatever he got up to while he was away and what he brought back for her from his travels. But this time, it’s quiet - the peaceful kind of quiet that wraps around her like a blanket, tranquil and warming as she pushes the door open and steps into the room.
Nico is curled up on his side of the bed, on top of the covers, and his arm is draped gently over their daughter’s sleeping bag, their faces inches apart as soft snores fall from their parted lips. She inches closer as quiet as she can manage, leaning over them and taking in their similar profiles - the gentle slope of their mirrored noses, dark lashes framing closed eyes that are turning darker to match her daddy’s day by day.
If anyone had told the Poppy of last November that this is where she would be now - that this is where she’d be with Nico - she never in a million years would have believed it. 
He has transformed her life in such little time that she can barely remember the before. Can barely remember a night she fell asleep in any other bed, by any other side, or woke up to anyone else. Can barely remember feeling anything close to this kind of happiness, this kind of content.
It’s like he’s introduced her to a whole new level of feelings. Ones she struggles to describe, like there’s no word in the English language that could possibly convey what he means to her.
Maybe his language has a word for it. Something that she’s never heard before, but just sounds right. Like she knew it somewhere much deeper than her brain allowed her access. She’ll have to ask him, tomorrow - when they finally have a morning to themselves and she can work up the energy to crawl out from under the sheets with him.
A part of her wishes she could take a snapshot of this moment - could send it back in time to the Poppy who never thought this kind of life would ever find her. The Poppy who was drifting, coasting, floating, afraid of landing on her own two feet and having to drag them for the rest of time through unfamiliar territories. The Poppy who pushed down her ever expanding adoration for the man currently cuddled up to their entire life in the bed they share, who convinced herself he could never possibly feel the same way, and wasted years of her life when she could have had this.
But another part of her thinks, what’s the point?
She has him, now. 
She’ll have him forever.
She allows herself to watch for a minute as they take deep breaths in sync, all the post-game tension in Nico’s body long melted away, before she quietly shuffles over to the bathroom to get herself ready for bed. 
She manages to make her way back over in the dark without stumbling, by some miracle, and reaches over to pick her baby girl up without interrupting her sleep, standing beside her crib and rocking her a little just to make sure she’s still fully drifted off - relishing the feeling of soft puffs of air falling into her neck as she cradles her.
Nico must wake at the loss of contact, instincts kicking in immediately when he can no longer feel the little body that had been resting under his protective arm, and when Poppy looks back over, she can see the reflective glint in his eyes as he watches her - soft and adoring and tooth-achingly sweet. 
Instead of putting her down, she bounces gently on her feet back over to Nico’s side of the bed, sitting beside him as he shuffles up, and the two of them just watch their daughter as she sleeps. 
For all the times they have been warned that this bliss is temporary, that it’s just a phase, Poppy can’t see it ending for as long as Nico looks at her like this. Like he has the entire world sat in front of him. 
“She was smiling at me before,” he whispers as he repositions himself, legs spread so that Poppy can sit between them. “Was trying to get her to calm down, and she was just looking straight at me with those big sparkly eyes and she smiled right at me.”
“She was doing it a little when we got home, earlier.” Poppy whispers back, hoping he doesn’t mind her raining on his parade a little to tell this story, “We just caught your interview on TV after the game, and there was this close up of you, and she smiled so big, Nico. She never smiles like that for anybody.”
“That’s ‘cause you snitch on her and tell everyone it’s gas.”
“I don’t want anyone else thinking they’re special.”
“But I am?” He asks, reaching to swipe the back of his finger softly against her cheek, the soft moonlight sifting into the room reflecting off of the ring on his finger, the quick glimmer enough to catch Poppy’s eye, to distract her so much that she can only hum in response, lips curving into a tender smile. 
“Yeah,” she breathes, the tranquility of the room a stark contrast to the way her heart erupts into thunderous applause for him - akin to that of the stadium full of fans earlier that night. Thousands of voices chanting his name, singing his praises, cheering him on for all the glory he brought to their night. He brings that to Poppy, tenfold, every day. “You’re really special.”
He leans over their sleeping daughter to press a loving kiss to Poppy’s lips, careful not to disturb the little angel between them, and Poppy kisses him straight back, fervent but fleeting.
“I’m so proud of you, baby.” she mutters into his mouth, careful not to invest too much of herself into another moment they’ll swiftly get interrupted from. 
“You gonna show me in the morning?” He mumbles back, their lips still touching, noses pressed together, his hand still cradling her face. She nods, and he feels her cheeks round into his palm. “Gonna give me that hatty you promised?”
“Gonna give you whatever you want.”
“Another baby, Frau?”
She scoffs, swallowing down the fizzing feeling at the back of her throat the nickname. 
“Ask me again after your next hat-trick.” 
239 notes · View notes
janicekao · 1 year ago
Text
Fear
Pairing: Pennywise/Bill Skarsgard x Black oc (dark smut) Summary: Going after his next victim: a little boy named Booker Jones, Pennywise the clown becomes intrigued by his older sister instead, and no... what he is hungry for is not her fear. Warnings: Horror, violence, entity, monster, monster s3x, rough s3x, dub!con, cnc, age gap, dark romance, smut, tummy bulge k!nk, dom&femsub cr3am pie, etc. 7130 words Wattpad link
Enjoy my babies <3 ----------------------------------
Rumors have begun to spread that Pennywise the clown has returned back to Derry.
But who would believe the rumors being that they were coming from kids? Being gossiped around Elementary and Middle schools.
As children started to disappear again, the adults of Derry have also picked up on believing in this rumor, but luckily most of them have common sense.
Although this myth of a supernatural clown has been told in Derry for hundreds of years, the adults have been in contact with the police thinking that instead of something as crazy as a fictitious clown, some insane Pennywise fanatic has entered the town and is preying on children to keep the fable alive.
"He lives in the sewers."
"He can reach you through the drains of your house."
"He can make you hallucinate and you will see awful things to frighten you."
"He survives off of fear."
Sadly, the children are more than right.
Worst of all, they are going unheard. Parents are ignoring them as they search for what makes the most sense to them, a psychotic murderous pedophile on the loose.
And as the adults of Derry waste their time not believing in the supernatural, Pennywise is preparing to strike again.
Booker Jones, an eight year old boy is Pennywise's next victim.
Pennywise has been stalking his dreams, showing up each day at the boy's school, and whispering through the drains of his home.
Pennywise is infatuated with Booker's fear. Each time he plays with the young child's mind, his mouth waters with excitement to devour the boy and absorb his fear to keep him alive.
It's almost time now.
Booker has told his friends and family... But no one believes him. His parents tell him to stop listening to the gossip of the town because of how bad he's getting nightmares now. Little do they know, Pennywise is sizing him and getting his levels of fear exactly where he wants them to be.
Sunday nights are usually Booker's bath nights. Finally ready for Pennywise's taking, the clown plans on slithering inhumanely through the drain and drag Booker to his death into the sewers where Pennywise will consume his fear and let his decaying body be found in the streams that lead out of the tunnels of Derry.
As Pennywise listens into the pipes of the Jones' house, at eight-pm he finally hears the bath running... he knows that his time to feast, is now.
Pennywise slithers quietly through the pipes, opening his eyes in the sudsy lukewarm water as he expects to see the tiny feet and draggable legs of an eight year old boy...
The clown nearly gasps, almost choking on water as the gaze of his eyes latch onto the spread legs of a young woman...
Confusion takes over his mind, never once has he ever had to take a pause during one of his killings.
Still watching from the impossibly deep pits of the filled tub, Pennywise watches long brown legs soak in the sweetly fragrant bath. The girl's toes are painted a light pink and she taps her feet lightly to what seems to be music coming from her headphones.
What disgruntles Pennywise the most is the powers coming from between her thighs... he even momentarily begins to think that maybe, just maybe, she could be a supernatural herself.
Pennywise is hungry... Usually for fear, but this time, for a taste of the soft flesh between her legs.
Peaking out of the water for just a moment, he craves to see the face of the enchanting creature.
The girl nods her head to the rhythm of the music, luckily eyes closed as she relaxes... Because if they opened, they'd view upon the gray crumbling skin, patchy red hair, and demonic yellow eyes of Pennywise, and surely would die of a heart attack on the spot.
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Pennywise is puzzled by her beauty...
Full dark brown curls drenching at the ends as she soaks in the water, face red and blushing due to the humidity of the bathroom, full lips, long eyelashes, and breasts large... nipples upturned and beaming with water droplets...
Fucking hell...
She isn't a child... no, she isn't a child at all.
What Pennywise didn't realize about Booker Jones, is that he has a sister. Quinn Jones, an older sister, age twenty, and home from college for Summer Break.
Tonight won't be the night for feeding after all... However, Pennywise can't leave without a taste, of something.
Seeping back into the drain, the clown's unbelievably long snake-like tongue slithers between Quinn's legs, swiping a powerful lick that goes from the crack of her bottom, through her folds, and to the delicious flesh of her clit.
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She immediately gasps. Breath hitched in her throat as her eyes dart open. She flips her headphones from off of the top of her head and frantically kicks her legs, searching for what violated her in such way... however, the bath is empty.
As Pennywise ventures back into the sewers, the taste of Quinn stays on his tongue... a taste that he will forever crave until his dying day.
—•—
Pennywise paces the sewers, mind full of thoughts about the girl.
He isn't used to this feeling... and being an evil entity born Before Christ, he doesn't understand why after all these years, obstacles are now getting into his way?
He hears the snickering of preteens walking through the sewers with flashlights, probably dared by each other to see who is the bravest to meet the myth of Pennywise...
Sadly for the youngins, there is fear that Pennywise needs to feast upon, and once they lay eyes upon his stature of eight-feet tall, his dingy and torn clown costume, and his shards of glass like teeth, fear is exactly what they will have plenty of.
Pennywise tears them to shreds, consuming each drop of their fear. Finally becoming full and energized, he can prepare to tackle the obstacle known as Quinn Jones.
For the first time ever, Pennywise doesn't want to cause fright. He is so curious about the beauty that he just wants to be around her, to know her... However, if push comes to shove, killing her works just as well.
But to get close to the girl without her fleeing from him, he can not appear to her as a clown...
He once would appear human at times around the town of Derry, in his opinion his human form is a handsome man...
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But being that the last time he tried this appearance was nearly sixty years ago, it's probably best to appear as something the girl could be attracted to nowadays.
He will have to appear as young as she is. In his twenties, charming, handsome, less forehead, less evil grin, and just more modern all together.
Contorting his appearance into what he needs to be, he finally becomes satisfied with his look as he stares at his reflection in the shard of a broken mirror, dumped in the sewers like the rest of the trash around him.
"This'll do." He finally agrees with what he sees. "This'll do just fine."
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—•—
Before being able to show himself, Pennywise wants to be familiar with the girl he plans on meeting.
What does a clown who only knows of murder know about charming a girl?
For weeks of the summer, Pennywise quietly stalks Quinn until he knows her every detail.
Quinn even begins to think that her little brother's irrational fear of Pennywise the clown is rubbing off on her, ever since she's been home she sees the clown in her dreams...
He fills her every thought and at night as she sleeps, Quinn even feels him in the corner of her room.
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She thinks that she's just going crazy, but she is far from crazy. Pennywise is using his abilities to infiltrate Quinn's mind, as he does his victims. But instead of frightening her, he just wants her to know of his existence.
Finally mustering up the courage to meet Quinn, things go surprisingly smoother than Pennywise could ever have expected.
In his new appearance, Pennywise purposely runs into her as she grocery shops dinner for her family. He compliments her, asks about the music she is listening to in her headphones, and lies that they are too his favorite band.
He enjoys speaking with her for the very first time... It is like a breath of fresh air.
Pennywise introduces himself to the girl as "Bill", a twenty-seven year old accountant who is interested in taking her out on a date.
Impressed by the man's charm and their almost impossible similarities, Quinn quickly accepts.
Over weeks of hanging out with each other daily, a bond has began to grow. They trust each other and Pennywise enjoys hearing her talk for as long as she wants to.
Each day that he picks her up from the Jones' residence, Quinn's blushing cheeks proves each time that his plan is working, it proves that the girl is crushing on him as much as Pennywise is crushing on her.
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A month of knowing each other passes quickly being that the two have become immediately infatuated with each other.
Today, to celebrate a month together, Pennywise has planned a night at a drive in movie theater... a perfect place for romance, and to also scope out the scenery for potential children he can feasts upon when he's ready to.
Wearing a brown mesh dress that fits her body to perfection and compliments her mahogany skin beautifully, Quinn answers Pennywise's knock to her front door.
Pennywise can barely speak... Awed by her beauty, he can barely breathe.
She smiles. "Do I look okay?"
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Voice sweet as candy, his heart begins to melt.
"Yes Quinn." He gulps. "More than okay, absolutely perfect."
She blushes. Quinn reaches up on the tips of her heels to place a kiss on the cheek of his handsome face.
She accepts his flowers. "Happy one month, Bill."
—•—
As Pennywise discretely digs through the wallets of his previous victims, he also drives a stolen car.
He impresses the girl with his willingness to care for her, to pay for all of their dates... although nothing that he has belongs to him, not even his own appearance.
Parked in front of the large movie screen, the two share a bucket of popcorn.
Pennywise listens to Quinn as she talks about her last year of college coming up in August. She'll then graduate and become a local Elementary School Teacher here in Derry.
As if she were made just for him. Pennywise's lips nearly begin to drool. Oh what perfect career for her... this way they'll never be apart, she can bring him the kids, and he absorbs their fear.
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Curious with her thoughts on the rumored clown of Derry, Pennywise brings it up in conversation, wondering will he forever have to keep up with this appearance around her, or if one day she can accept him as he is.
"Like most adults, I don't believe in entities and things that just don't make practical sense." She shrugs. "But ever since I've been home in Derry, I too have had many thoughts of this clown... it started with my little brother's nightmares, he was sure this evil clown was out to get him... So as a big sister would, I comforted him, calmed his nerves, and reminded him that everything would be okay. But recently, something tells me that the myth of the clown may be true. It's like I can feel him, like he's always near to me... Like I know him personally."
Quinn smiles, shrugging off the goosebumps caused by just the thought of Pennywise the clown. "But honestly there is something else I'd rather talk to you about..."
Chomping on a hand full of popcorn, Pennywise agrees. "Sure, go ahead."
"Bill..." She gulps. "We've been seeing each other for a month now, and I'm a bit confused on where we stand... I go back to school in a month, I'd just like to know if I'm going back single, or is this something... more?"
Pennywise frowns.
Has he not been clear?
"You're mine." The only words he can conjure up at the thought of Quinn seeing anyone else.
Blush heating her cheeks, she accepts his answer with the prettiest smile. "I can be yours."
He nods. "Good."
Taking the popcorn to the floor of the car, Quinn reaches over to kiss Pennywise. Their lips meet, and their affection and adoration for each other melts into each of their breaths.
Although they have taken things very slow over summer, they still have had a few gentle kisses every now and then. But Pennywise realizes that this kiss is a bit different...
Quinn moans into his full lips, body closing in on him in the driver seat of the car as she clearly hungers for more.
His heart begins to beat out of his chest and his human form suffers with keeping up with the seducing kiss.
Pulling away from her, Pennywise watches her almost startled, confused by the bite she has to her full bottom lip yet his pants grow as she squirms in needy arousal.
He gulps. "Quinn, the movie?"
"I'd rather watch you." Her voice drips with seduction as her hand unzips the front of his pants.
Quinn calms his worry as her other hand caresses the back of his neck gently. "If I'm yours, let me take care of you Bill."
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He watches puzzled, with a racing heartbeat, however he allows Quinn to do whatever she wants with him.
Quinn gracefully tucks her full mane of curls onto the other side of her shoulder as she bows into his lap.
Her lips line with his up-turned erection as she sweetly kisses the tip of his cock, staining it with her pink strawberry flavored lipgloss.
Staring down at his handsomely perfect member, thoughts of having him inside her chokes her mind. The best looking cock she's ever seen in her life, for now she'll satisfy her hunger with just his taste.
Hallowing out her cheeks, Quinn takes him fully into her mouth. Slowly wetting his cock with her spit as she gently tugs his shaft lubed with her drool.
Breaths caught in Pennywise's throat as he watches his sweetheart take him completely in her throat. Her delicious moans and sweetly scented perfume plagues his mind, he can't control the groans coming from the depths of his stomach.
She feels fucking perfect to him. Willing to choke herself to tears for his pleasure, he knows that he absolutely loves the girl.
As Quinn continues to slurp, stroke, and suck, Pennywise can't control the bucking of his hips. Gently fucking into her throat at the rhythm that he needs.
Quinn opens her eyes, peering up at him with her innocent doll like eyes as she slaps his cock on her drooling wet tongue.
His eyes roll back into his skull.. "Quinn.." He gulps. "Honey I—"
Forcing him deeper into her throat, Quinn inhales his balls along with the entirety of his cock.
Coughing and dripping mascara as her only care is to bring him to a pleasured finish
Fucking hell... he can't take it. Never having this sense of pleasure in his impossibly long lifetime, he feels the need to explode.
Noticing her deep arch in the passenger seat of the car, Pennywise can't help but to run his hand onto her firm backside, slapping her ass as she sucks his cock with absolute perfection.
His mouth hangs ajar as the pressure to cum continues to build. Stomach tightened as he listens to her intoxicating chokes and moans, he can't hold out any longer.
Quinn takes him into her throat once more as he blows his load.
He shouts a pleasured groan as the cum bursts streams into her mouth and down her pretty chin.
The pleasure is too much for him to handle, Pennywise loses focus on his appearance... and absolutely drops it.
He watches Quinn's satisfied smile turn into eyes of fear as he begins to reveal his truest form.
"P-Pennywise.." The shock causes her face to whiten into a pale fright.
He smiles, the jingle of his bells chiming out of thin air. "Pennywise, The Dancing Clown!"
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—•—
Thrashing around in the arms of the clown, Pennywise leaves the car for the nearest city drain.
Crying and shouting to be let go, he doesn't listen to her once.
"Close your eyes." He calmly demands. "It'll hurt a lot less."
Fearing for her life. Quinn tightens her eyes closed as she notices them slipping into the sewer drain.
She knows it's impossible for them to fit and expects to be squashed to death... But underestimating the powers of Pennywise, gets her nowhere. As she opens her eyes, she's surprisingly unharmed and in the sewer tunnels of Derry.
As she's being carried, she notices her dangling legs nowhere near the ground being that her date has grown into a whopping eight feet tall.
As she cries and continues to lash out, Pennywise isn't phased or harmed by her gentle fists. However, he doesn't know how to calm her...
When he's killing for the absorption of fear, he would have snapped his victim's neck by now, but not wanting to hurt Quinn... he's at a loss for a next step.
Taking her to the driest and deepest part of the sewers, he leaves Quinn by herself beside a pile of his victim's belongings.
She becomes a mess of frightened tears as she looks up at the massive pile, noticing the floating children in Pennywise's possession, decaying and have been hanging there for many, many years.
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As hours pass, and night darkens.
Pennywise decides to revisit Quinn. He finds her exhausted from tears and asleep in a dirty corner, however he's glad that she is calm.
He never wanted this to happen, but now that he's infatuated with her he can't let her go.
Waking up from her stressful nap, Quinn is startled by his quiet watching in the pipes of the sewer.
Balling herself up into bended knees, she refuses to even look at him.
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He jumps down, creating a cloud of dust around him as he lands right in front of her.
"Open your eyes." He demands. "See me as I am."
"As what?" She argues. "Accept that you're Pennywise the clown? Or accept that you're a liar?"
Her smart tongue aggravates him as he forces her into his strict yellow gaze. "Everything I've said, I've meant."
"You're a murderer." Tears of sadness wet her cheeks.
"Don't bring up what you don't understand." He denies being called such things.
"You were after my brother weren't you?" She continues. "You wanted to kill him! Turn him into the children above-"
"But I didn't." He interrupts. "And I won't."
She scoffs. "You have been an entirely different man since I've known you, how am I ever to believe a word that you say!"
"Because you'll just have to trust me." His voice although sensitive to her fear, he is clearly demanding and intimidating. "Do it, because you don't have any other choice to."
Rolling her eyes, clearly heartbroken and confused, Quinn attempts to leave.
Stretching his arm like taffy, Pennywise pulls her back to him from many feet away.
Can't she see that he's inhuman? Whatever she does he can correct without even dropping a bead of sweat.
She can't win, and she never will.
Pennywise softens his stare into something less threatening... He slowly bends to the crook of Quinn's neck, placing gentle kisses on her skin. "I am still me."
Uncomfortable with his caress, Quinn begins to frown.
He continues to press his lips to her body and Quinn quickly realizes that she isn't uncomfortable with his kiss at all, she's uncomfortable with enjoying it... Uncomfortable with still feeling safe with a creature that shouldn't even exist.
Pennywise pulls from his kiss and watches her quiet expression... he feels hopeful, now that she's trembling less and her eyes have softened.
He wants to tell her that he loves her, but it just isn't in his character to say something so forward.
"Do I still call you Bill?"Her voice meek and sweet makes his heart beat loudly.
"Pennywise." He responds.
"Will you take me home Penny?"Pennywise shuts his eyes, soul melting at the cute nickname she has quickly came up for him.
Pennywise becomes hungry, wanting to give her what he received in the car.
"Yes Quinn, you'll go home." He whispers sweetly pressed against her face. "Right after I return the favor."
Tearing the panties from her body, Pennywise pins her wrists above her head.
She gasps, squirming in refusal. "No! Please Pennywise, I don't want that!"
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Widening her legs her dripping cunt says otherwise.
Pennywise's insanely long tongue swipes between her thighs as he did the first time he met her.
She gasps, body arching in pleasure... Quinn remembers that feeling immediately. "It was you, i-in the bathtub."
Grinning deviously he nods. "Of course, who else could give you a kiss below like that?"
His mouth returns to her sweet succulent flesh. He's wanted badly to feast on this pussy for so many days now.
Hands forcing her dress above her chest, his eyes widen at her perky breasts... nipples hardened and painfully aroused.
Biting a glove off of his hand, he bites his lip as he enjoys the skin to skin contact of caressing her full bust.
Covering her face, Quinn becomes embarrassed. She tries to cover the moans from her tongue, but Pennywise hears them, Pennywise loves them.
Rolling the bud between his fingers with sudden gentle pinches, Pennywise dives back into her cunt.
His mouth is too good for her, she can't keep still.
He grips her ankles folding her legs to her chest to refuse her from moving his mouth from her pussy.
He circles his tongue around her swollen clit, nipping it to watch her body jolt. He slurps on her every drop of pleasure, swallowing it as if his thirst could never be quenched.
His tongue plows into her pussy, bringing shameful squeals through her begging lips. Tongue long enough to fuck her like a cock, he pushes it in and out of her hole and brings her to tears.
His monstrous cock aches, forced against his tight clown costume, and ready to burst from her taste and squeals alone.
Pennywise's face dug deeply between her thighs, his nose and mouth slide vengefully prodding inside the slick folds of her smooth cunt, forcing her to quake as she pulls on the red strands of his hair.
The clown's eyes shutter closed, rolling back into his skull in pure satisfaction. Mouth usually dripping with blood however tonight dripping with Quinn's sweet nectar.
"Please Pennywise..." Her sweet voice stabs at him. "Will you kill me too?"
"You hush now Quinn, you'll be back in your bed, sleeping the best that you've ever had." Breathless and eager to make her orgasm, Pennywise continues.
She moans... pleasure becoming far too painful for her. "When?!"
"Don't act as if you want me to rush, I can feel how much you're enjoying this Quinn." Nearly offended, he shuts her up with a deep tongue plow against her cervix.
She shouts in pleasure... Ashamed of knowing how incredible his tongue feels, and feeling like an absolute little slut for an evil clown.
However soon he answers her anyway. "You'll go home when I get you to that point , when you realize that I won't stop seeking after you, and when you realize that with me— you'll never want to be sought after by anyone else again."
"Do you understand Quinn?" His question is threatening.
She nods. "Yes."
"Good girl." He grins. "Now release for me... release for me, and you will be home sweet girl. You'll just have to do it, right here on my tongue."
Lying on his belly, face devouring Quinn's pussy as he grips the thick indents of her hips, Quinn begins to buck her hips... fucking his face until the tightened spring in her stomach releases.
Tears dropping from her eyes as she shouts out from a mind blowing orgasm, Quinn's vision fades into a bright light.
Seeing only white and hearing a ringing similar to after a bomb, she fades into an unexpected slumber, waking up peacefully tucked into her bed back at her home...
—•—
Days pass and Quinn still doesn't understand what has happened to her this summer.
She's painfully alone with this knowledge, knowing that no one would ever believe her about Pennywise, nevertheless believe that she's been intimate with him.
Her thoughts of the night with Pennywise in the sewer plagues her mind... the memories make her drip with desire and because of it, she feels embarrassed.
What's even more embarrassing, is that she can't help but wonder why he hasn't made contact with her again...
Tempted to visit him in the tunnels, she doesn't want to seem desperate. Her mental health fights with her, filling her with shame knowing that longing for this creature is extremely wrong.
As the weekend draws closer, it'll be a week since they've seen each other. Quinn has gotten to the point of believing that maybe she's just going crazy, maybe she dreamt all of this!
She forces herself to drop him from her thoughts so she can prepare herself for the school year, and get back to everyday life.
Quinn showers in her parents' bathroom, refusing to bathe in the hall bathroom being that was where she first encountered the clown.
As she dresses for bed in a black silk night gown, she brushes her wet curls and brushes her teeth in the mirror of the hall bathroom.
As she spits the toothpaste out, she hears the calling of the clown.
"Oh Quuuiiinnn.."Pennywise nearly sings for her as he calls her name, echoing throughout the bathroom's pipes.
She gulps, realizing that everything that happened between them is absolutely true.
His voice taunts with seduction. "I've missed you honey..."
Cutting off the bathroom light, she decides to ignore the noise and leave.
"Don't you dare leave this bathroom."His threat startles her. "Come here Quinn."
She rolls her eyes, kneeling to the tub as she begins to whisper aggressively at the tub's drain, looking like a psychopath if anyone were to catch her. "What do you want from me? It's been a week, I thought I was free of you."
"Never." He chuckles. "It seems that you've been counting our days apart... if I'm correct, you've missed me just as much?"
"I waited for your bath." Pennywise causes Quinn to blush in embarrassment. "You never came."
"Showered in my parents' bathroom." She shrugs stubbornly. "Felt safer."
Pennywise laughs. "Then we'll just have to have our fun now."
Pennywise's gloved hand reaches through the drain...
"Take the glove off." He demands. "Then sit on it."
Quinn trembles as she pulls the clown's white glove from his hand.
His hand is revealed, gray, monstrous, with talon like nails.
She flinches at the thought of being fingered by that. "Put that away!" Quinn complains. "I will not do anything with that."
He sighs. "Fine."
Pulling his hand back into the drain, he soon brings it back up... handsome, soft, human, with enticingly long digits...
"Now." Compromising with the girl, Pennywise sighs. "Be a good girl, and come sit on this hand Quinn."
She licks her lips, becoming convinced to find pleasure on the handsome hand.
But she refuses... "No!" She snaps. "Pennywise, I won't! I'm going to bed!"
"So help me god Quinn." The threatening tone of his voice stops her dead in her tracks. "If you don't sit on this hand, I will come through this drain and fuck you to absolute pieces."
She wishes that his demanding threat didn't make her melt between her thighs... but interestingly enough, it does.
Quinn enters the tub. Hiking up her silk nightgown, she kneels to the floor of the tub, taking a seat on the warm hand coming from the drain.
His deep baritoned chuckle echoes through the steel pipes. "You know what to do."
And that she does.
Quinn begins to buck her hips... fucking the hand with slow trembled breaths.
Pennywise massages her clit with his thumb, making her slick and preparing her for his probing fingers.
Quinn continues to soak his hand, sticky webbed dripping from her needy little cunt oozing down Pennywise's wrist.
He places two of his longest fingers inside of her, bending at the knuckle to caress her g-spot each time they thrust into her. Quinn closes her eyes and enjoys the pleasure of each bounce onto the hand, a moan escapes her tongue as a broad thumb seeps into her asshole.
He's marked her as his own. Having the girl obsessed with the many ways he can fill her.
Quinn gyrates the lacy dress past her shoulders, her hands begin to toy at her now revealed sensitive breasts as she reaches closer to her cum.
Drawing the faint taste of blood from her full bottom lip, she bites down hard enough to silence her need to squeal.
"I have such the surprise for you.."Mysterious temptation clouds over Pennywise's voice. "Tomorrow, I'll come get you. Be ready for me, be ready for your gift."
"W-What is it?" Quinn's breath hitches in her throat, being choked by a moan.
"Be patient little lamb." He chuckles. "You will see."
Quinn clinches around Pennywise's fingers, nearing her finish. "Cum for me." A sweet command from Pennywise, sends Quinn into hysterics. She jolts, body quaking as she releases for him, soaking and pruning his fingertips.
Panting for breath after her climax, she watches the wet hand slide back down the drain... Quinn listens into the drain, hearing the sudden lapping of his tongue over his fingers, obsessed and constantly thirsty for her taste.
Realizing how much he craves for her, Quinn's crush grows larger. She's utterly fixated on her new lover.
"My glove?" Pennywise waits calmly for her to send it down the drain, but she refuses.
She gulps. "Tomorrow."
"You want to keep it?" You can nearly hear the joyful smile in Pennywise's voice.
"Yes." She admits.
He accepts it. "Fine, as long as you sleep with it pressed against your chest, or even better, between your legs."
"Quinn?" He calls once more. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow, sleep well sweet girl."
—•—
Quinn gets dressed early today not knowing which time to expect Pennywise.
Her knee shakes nervously as she waits all day on the edge of her bed, wondering if she should warn her family to not expect her home tonight... Hell, dealing with an evil entity, she even thought to warn them that she may never be back.
But the clown asked for her trust... so trust is what she has to give.
If he were to kill her, she's sure that he would have done it by now.
As the evening darkens, a nervous Quinn refuses to eat any meals... Her stomach is too anxious to accept any food to eat.
Quinn's eyes become tired, she accidentally begins to fall over into her pillows as sleep takes over her...
Before her head hits the pillow, the side of Quinn's face is carefully placed into the wide palm of Pennywise's hand.
She notices the feel of his skin instead of the pillow on her cheek, not once caring to ask how did he get inside of her room.
"You're late." Quinn's voice so very quiet and sleepy, plays gently on his heart strings.
Pennywise leans into the girl, wearing his human appearance as he softly kisses his tired love.
"I'm sorry sweetheart." He coos, taking his borrowed glove from her bedside table. "Just needed time to get things perfect for you."
As Quinn blinks her heavy eyelids open, she watches Pennywise puff on a cigarette. "So now you smoke?"
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He shrugs. "Thought I'd see what's the hype around it to you humans."
Quinn disapproves, up from lying on her bed, she takes the cigarette from his lips and tosses it out of the opened bedroom window. "There is no hype to it, it's bad for you."
Amused with her sexy authoritative side, he wraps his arm around her body. His hand graces the small of her back gently as he lifts her to his kiss.
The tender kiss, mind blowing for them both as Quinn enjoys finally seeing his presence again, and Pennywise enjoys her beauty. Long brown legs in a pair of light blue denim short-shorts, dirty red converse tied in a bow on each of her feet, and braless in a nearly see through white summer tank top.
She's so gorgeous, it physically pains him.
Enjoying every detail of grace and beauty on her face, he pauses momentarily as he takes her image in. "Close your eyes."
Expecting to be transported somewhere, Quinn does just that. She closes her eyes, grasping onto his broad shoulders as she trusts him to take her wherever he wants.
Feeling ground beneath her feet, Quinn soon opens her eyes. She notices her house a few feet away as her and Pennywise walk hand in hand into the woods of her backyard.
She frowns in confusion. "The woods? Why?"
"So you can see how to get to me, and where to find me, whenever you need me." The calm comfort in his voice takes her worries away. She agrees with a nod, tightening her hand around his.
As the two walk together in the woods for a few short minutes, Pennywise follows a stream that leads them to the canals.
He makes sure that she's paying attention as he watches down upon her, she nods, memorizing the path of how to get to him.
They cross the dense rocks surrounded by water as they head towards the sewer. An older gentleman packed up from late night fishing stops them in their path.
Quinn instantly worries about how Pennywise will react... If she is to spend time with him, she never, ever, wants to see him kill.
"Penny, don't." Her voice a quiet plead for him to behave.
The man shines his flashlight into their direction, and Pennywise can hardly decide to kill him or not as he watches  the man shine the bright light into his eyes.
"Hey kiddos! You shouldn't be out this late, especially around these parts. Haven't you all heard about the bodies being found around here? Apparently a murderer is on the loose, some even say an evil clown who lives in the sewers... although that's just a fable." The man chuckles.
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"Can't say we're ones to believe in the clown." Pennywise laughs. "Like you said, it's just a fable, right?Have a good night sir!"
Quinn finally breathes again, glad that Pennywise never lost his cool.
He sighs. "The things I do for you."
Together they make their way into the sewers, sloshing through the mucky waters until they've reached the dry area of the tunnels.
Quinn notices how different it looks from the last time she was here...
Cleaned out, floating bodies taken elsewhere, and no pile of his victims belongings.
Even a bedroom is built...
Candles lit around the two of them for romance, and to mask the horrid smells of the sewer.
She begins to chuckle, impressed with the effort he put into making her feel comfortable with where he hides out at...
She walks around the bedroom touching the furniture and the decorations he put together to feel like a home.
Quinn knows the stuff is stolen, but it is the thought that counts.
"Too much?" Nervous and nearly sweating, Pennywise can't get a good read on her expression. "I over did it, huh?"
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"I think it's beautiful." She admits. "The reason you went missing for a week?"
He shrugs. "I didn't like you being on the floor, you deserve better... A bed, a place to stay whenever you want to free yourself from the outside world."
Quinn's cheeks blush, clearly falling in love with the clown.
"The bed is awfully big..." Kicking off her shoes, Quinn lays back onto the pillows. "Should I expect to share it?"
Pennywise chuckles, rolling his eyes playfully however noticeably infatuated with the girl.
"Quinn?" He curiously asks. "Do you only like me like this? Does the clown frighten you?"
She smiles. "I like you for the man that I got to know over summer, regardless of how he appears to me. Penny, I like you, for you."
Pennywise gazes into his reflection of the bedroom's mirror with guilt... suddenly becoming unsure of which version that he even likes, himself...
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He chuckles dryly. "So I'll change it up, keep things interesting with my different appearances."
She agrees with him, yet begins to sigh. "I'm sorry that I can't do the same."
Her feelings of not being enough for him snaps Pennywise out of his gaze.
"Don't ever say that again." He quickly leaves the mirror, joining her as he sits on the edge of the bed. "You don't need multiple appearances. I love just the one that you have, I'll never want for anything else."
"You love my appearance?" She asks. "Or you love me?"
He gulps, finally admitting the truth. "Quinn, I love you."
Feeling relief as he finally gets those three meaningful words off of his chest, he doesn't even care to hear her say it back... for he is sure that the day will come.
The two share a longing kiss.
A tongue kiss that heats into their clothes being stripped off of each other.
As he pulls the daisy dukes along with her panties off of her body, he bites his lip as he watches her lift enough to slide them off of her legs... just as impatient and horny as he is.
Pennywise watches Quinn tremble with excitement, as she glistens between her thighs, ready for his taking.
Lying on her back, Quinn nearly begs for missionary sex. The type of sex where the wider she spreads, the more she can feel him dig into her.
"Are you sure?" Surprisingly gentle, Pennywise asks for her reassurance.
Biting her lip and already panting, she nods.
He doesn't think twice.
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Lying over her gorgeously nude body, Pennywise begins to place slow, bruising kisses along her skin. Sucking the flesh of her chin, neck, and breasts... Marking her with his affection.
Accepting another of his tongue kisses, Quinn moans into his mouth as he loses himself down her throat.
Pennywise begins to slowly lube his cock, thrusting slowly through her slickness until he's covered in her nectar. Just the gliding of his cock through her folds causes her body to arch, pleading aimlessly to be fucked into.
Pussy slapping her with the tip of his weighty cock, he grins deviously as he watches her body jolt each time it smacks her on her throbbing clit.
Toyed with enough, already to the point of soaking his brand new sheets, he gains momentum to seep into her entry.
Slowly thrusting his tip into her, Pennywise holds her hips down as she attempts to run from the pleasure.
His plows deepen..
He watches Quinn take half, then all of his cock as he stretches her to her max. Watching his cock spread her wide is the prettiest thing he's ever seen, his groans tremble as he watches each time he slides out, and rams back into her.
Quinn grips the sheets as Pennywise kisses her salty tears away.
"So pretty.." He coos. "And such a good listener. Quinn, baby, are you with me?"
The girl nods, body blushing red as she endures his brutal fucking, however enjoying the restraint on her breathing from his crushingly heavy body and the fullness of his veiny erection.
Catching a bouncing breast into his mouth, Pennywise's tongue laps teasing circles around her hardened nipple.
Picking up speed and listening to the wet fapping of their bodies and the squeaking bed frame, Pennywise is determined to bottom completely out into her.
Finally doing it, pushing his cock in to the base of his happy trail, Quinn presses her hand against his chest, begging for mercy. "Please—" she pants. "Penny, I-I can't!"
Taking the hand from his chest, Pennywise kisses the girl's palm gently before placing it above her head. Holding her wrists back from interrupting his heavy bucking. "You can baby, you can."
Taking his free hand to her fleshy clit, he massages her in a way that makes her squirm underneath him.
Finishing his handsy caress with a sharp slap onto her pussy, he sends her into oblivion.
Quinn's body begins to quake, squealing inaudibly as the orgasm melts her into the mattress.
Wanting that same incredible finish, Pennywise's speed picks up, aiming for his cum. Her orgasm spasming around his cock as he grunts, mercilessly fucking into the girl.
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"Fuck!" He shouts as he nears his finish.
Pussy quivering around his erection, already doused in his sticky precum, his sweetheart lays tiredly beneath him...
Sweated out, dumbly drooling, and looking so beautiful half-lidded and absolutely slutty for only him.
To bring him to his climax, he begs to hear her perfect little voice.
"Is this what you want?" He grits through his teeth. "Could we have this for a lifetime?"
Quinn nearly cries, numbly taking the rough fucking like a champ. "Yes Pennywise, God yes— just continue to be good to me, be good to Derry."
He nods, simping immediately to whatever she wants. "Mmm- fuck! This pussy is fucking fantastic. Yes baby.. Haven't killed since we met, I'll do whatever you want."
"Haven't killed since we met..."
"Haven't killed since we met..."
The words replay, strangling his mind.
How hasn't he killed, since they have met?
Pennywise comes to a slow pace, not understanding how he has been surviving if he hasn't fed off of fear?
....
Or has he been feeding off of it all along?
Quinn, she fears him.
He only has been surviving around her, because she's fucking faking it...
Pennywise believes that Quinn doesn't feel the same about him at all, she loathes him, she's frightened by him and doing whatever she needs to do in hopes of keeping her family and this town safe from him.
He can't hold his appearance any longer, as anger fuels him, Pennywise bursts into full clown...
Eight feet tall, ravenous teeth, hands that tear through his white gloves due to the black talon sized nails, and a monstrous cock that fills Quinn to the absolute brim.
She hisses in immediate pain, "Pennywise it hurts!"
The bed breaks down to the floor now that he's massive and impossibly heavy. However, Quinn's tight little cunt feels sooo very good to him.
"It hurts?"He begins to deviously taunt. "Does it now? I think you can take it Quinn. Be good for me."
She squeals. "Please! You're still inside me, you'll have to go back to your human appearance!"
Becoming familiar again with his evil nature, he refuses. "I think I'll fuck you just like this."
His hands wrap around her entire waist as if she were a can of soda, the clown's form being so large over her petite frame it's like fucking into a Barbie doll.
He huffs, nearing a mountain size amount of cum as he nearly splits Quinn into two.
The clown's mouth begins to drool as he places his hand at her womb, feeling his cock and watching the insane tummy bulge he forces into her guts.
So fucking sexy, he feels his explosion erupting.
Eyes rolling back into his skull, the clown releases to the sweet sounds of her cries.
Muscles tightening as does the vicious grip on her skin as he stills himself inside of her and coats her walls with his hot sticky cum.
"When were you going to stop wasting my fucking time?" Pennywise watches his cum spill out on each side of his cock that still penetrates her. "I can taste the fear on you, so don't dare lie."
Aggravated with her silence, he slams her against the bed. "Faking everything that you've said... Why, because you think it would keep you alive longer?"
He clicks his tongue with taunt. "I'm too old to be made a fool of, but you almost had me Quinn... you really did."
"Penny please!" She begs, although now on soft his giantly inhuman cock continues to sit deeply inside of her. Without barely any movement, she still feels as if she's being fucked due to his size and the pulsing veins of his cock. "I-I can't speak to you like this."
Not being able to catch her breath, and seeming to be seriously ill. Her poor body can't take much more.
She begs tearfully. "It's too much!! S'too full!!"
Pulling himself out of Quinn, she jolts at the lewd pop of the head of his massive cock exiting her.
He watches his cum seep from out of her with more plans of revenge sex and doing this all night to her.
She can finally breathe as her body relaxes, pouring out his messy load into the middle of her trembling thighs.
"Talk!" Pennywise shouts.
"I'm not afraid of you!" She cries.
Pennywise's finger nail sticks uncomfortably into her belly button, with just the slightest drag, Quinn's steaming hot intestines could be lying right in front of her eyes. "Oh Quinn... I've enjoyed every minute with you, but don't think that I won't tear you into fucking shreds if you lie to me again."
"I'm telling you the truth, I don't fear you!" The poor girl, now heartbroken and regretting becoming the lover of a demonic entity continues to weep until she runs out of tears.
"The fear that you are surviving off of is my fear of the future. Fear of our fate together being that we are in an impossible relationship..." Quinn explains herself , unable to even look at him anymore. "A girl and an entity— a fear of the universe pulling us apart when I have too fallen in love with you."
....
His eyes soften with immense guilt... Finally realizing what he has done...
Looking at his love lying exhausted, half-lidded, and fucked to a pulp, he worries that he has injured her... For the first time feeling fear himself.
What Pennywise failed to realize, is that the girl never feared him at all. What she feared, was losing him.
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sadnymi · 11 months ago
Text
Loml p2
[Mattheo riddle × reader] [TTPD Masterlist]
P.s:this takes place before the start of part one and during it , this one is from mattheo POV, can read It as a stand alone [you can read part one here | p1 | .] [part3]
Warnings:Angst,family drama, past trauma, abusing father, violent,smut,strong language.
Words:12k.
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They say you inherit your father's eyes, his nose, the shape of his jaw. But what they don't say is you inherit the weight of his choices. The weight of a name that chills hearts and shatters families. 
My father speaks of a world cleansed, of magic pure and untainted. He speaks of a glorious future built on the ashes of the old. But what future is built on sacrifice? On the screams of innocents echoing in the dead of night?
Another victory. Another display of power etched onto my already formidable reputation. The whispers followed me everywhere – "He's his father's son," they hissed, "Mark my words, he'll be the end of us all." It was a constant thrum in my ear, a prophecy carved in stone.
The roar of the crowd fueled the fire in my fists. Another boy, twice my size, crumpled under the onslaught, his face contorted in pain. Rage, a familiar companion, coursed through me, a dark echo of something I didn't understand. Power,they called it. Legacy. My father's legacy.
Just as I raised my hand for another blow, a flicker of movement caught my eye. A girl, with (y/e/c), stood at the edge of the crowd, her gaze fixed on me. 
For a fleeting moment, the world around me shrunk, the cheers and jeers dissolving into a deafening silence. In her eyes, there wasn't fear, nor the twisted pleasure the others seemed to relish. There was... something else. A flicker of concern, a hint of understanding.
Before I could analyze it further, a primal instinct took over. I ripped my hand away from the fallen boy, the sudden movement sending a jolt of surprise through him. The crowd erupted in confused murmurs. Without a word, I stalked towards the girl, a cold terror blooming in my gut.
"Don't you dare say a word of this," I hissed, the words coming out harsher than I intended. Her eyes widened, but she didn't flinch.
"I won't," she whispered. "I understand."
To my surprise, she didn't retreat. Instead, she turned and rushed back to the boy I'd hurt, kneeling beside him. The sight of her concern for the boy, the madness in her eyes, made something inside me twist in a way it never had before.
Later that night, as the castle settled into a hushed silence, I found myself drawn to the empty courtyard. Restless, I paced beneath the star-dusted sky.
Then, I saw her. She materialized from the shadows, her robes swirling around her like a whispered secret. My breath hitched in my throat.
"Hi," she said, offering a small smile. "My name's Y/n. What's yours?"
Silence. I stared at her.
"You know my name,"
Her smile faltered for a second, then returned. "Yeah, but it's nicer to hear it from you. Anyway, I love Grindylows! Did you see one in the lake yet?"
I didn't answer. Grindylows? What did she care about a water demon?
"Maybe not," she continued, seemingly unfazed by my silence. Then, before I could stop her, she reached out and gingerly took my hand in hers. It was warm, a stark contrast to the chilling loneliness I was accustomed to.
"The other kids," she started, her voice barely a whisper. "They say things about you. That you're…different. That you'll turn out like…him." Her eyes met mine. "Don't listen to them. It's not true, I know it's not."
I pulled back, the warmth of her touch lingering on my skin like a phantom limb. It was a feeling both exhilarating and terrifying, a strange current running through me.
Her gaze held mine, unwavering. "Can we be friends?" she asked, her voice soft as a summer breeze. "Just you and me?"
I looked into her eyes, searching for the fear, the hatred, anything familiar. But all I found was a gentle hope, a yearning for connection.
And in that moment, amidst the familiar darkness, a spark ignited within me. A feeling I couldn't name, but one I craved nonetheless. It was like a warm blanket on a cold night, a beacon in the storm.
All I could do was nod, a small. A radiant smile lit up her face, as bright as the stars above. "Friends it is," she said, her voice filled with a joy that resonated deep within me.
Days passed and I started to feel like I did a big mistake.
Following me again, I see. Honestly, it's becoming quite the morning routine.
"Mattheo! Wait up!" she called as I tried to make my escape from the crowded hallway. She bounced after me, her energy almost overwhelming.
" Leave me alone," I muttered for the tenth time, turning to face her. Her wide eyes sparkled with mischief.
"But Mattheo, we're friends," she said, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "And friends stick together, right?"
"Not this much," I replied, but she just laughed, a sound that was both infectious and irritating.
We spent the rest of the day together, or rather, I tried to lose her, but she always managed to pop up again. It was like she had some sixth sense for where I'd be next. By the time the sun began to set, I was finally free—or so I thought.
I walked out of the castle, seeking some peace, heading towards my usual spot by the tree near the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
As I sat down, a small twig fell onto my shoulder. I glanced up, ready to brush it off, only to find a tuft of hair hanging from the branches.
No way. I got up and looked up, squinting into the branches. Sure enough, there she was, sprawled out on a thick limb like she owned the place.
"What the— Y/N, what the fuck are you doing here?" I couldn't believe my eyes.
She looked down at me, completely unbothered. "I'm reading, Matty. Do you want to come up here?" She held up a book, swinging her legs lazily.
I just shook my head in disbelief, not even bothering to respond. As I walked away, I could still hear her giggling from up in the tree.
Days like this were far too common. I had tried everything to shake her off, but she was like a particularly stubborn pixie, always popping up where I least expected—or wanted—her to be.
But then come that day when a Gryffindor boy, whose name I didn’t bother to learn, decided to mouth off about my father.
"Hey, Riddle Jr., how does it feel being the spawn of a maniac?" he jeered, loud enough for everyone in the common room to hear.
I clenched my fists, ready to shut him up myself, but before I could even move, Y/N had stepped in. She sauntered over to him, all smiles and innocence.
"Hi there," she chirped. "You must be new. I'm Y/N."
The boy sneered, "What do you want?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just thought I'd introduce myself properly." She extended her hand, and as he reached out to take it, she moved faster than I thought possible. With a swift flick of her wrist, she jabbed him in the ribs, precisely where no one could see. The boy yelped, clutching his side, his face contorted in pain.
"Oops, sorry," Y/N said sweetly, not an ounce of sincerity in her voice. "You really should be more careful."
The boy's scream drew everyone's attention, and he glared at her, but he couldn't prove anything. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him limp away, defeated.
Y/N sauntered back to me, a satisfied grin on her face. "
I shook my head, unable to suppress my smile. She was crazy, no doubt about it, but she was my kind of crazy.
Years passed at Hogwarts, and Y/N was always there by my side. What once seemed like an annoying habit of following me everywhere turned into a constant presence I couldn't imagine being without. She wasn't just the crazy girl who trailed after me anymore; she became the girl I couldn't spend a day without.
Every Quidditch match, I could count on looking up and seeing her in the stands, and I know she was here for me just for me, and I found myself playing harder, if only to see that proud smile on her face.
In between classes, she would run up to me, breathless and excited, ready to spill the latest gossip she’d overheard. "Matty, you won’t believe what I just heard!" she’d say, eyes wide with intrigue. Gossiping was her guilty pleasure, and as much as I pretended to be annoyed, I secretly loved the way her eyes lit up when she talked.
One day, she caught me in the courtyard, practically bouncing on her toes. "Matty, did you hear? Serena and Thomas broke up! And she was seen with—"
"Slow down, Y/N," I laughed, ruffling her hair. "You’re going to explode if you keep all this excitement bottled up."
She giggled, playfully swatting my hand away.
As time went on, I found myself becoming more protective of her. The thought of anyone making her cry made my blood boil. I couldn’t stand seeing tears in her eyes, I watched over her like a hawk. If anyone so much as looked at her the wrong way, they’d have me to answer to. It wasn’t just about protecting her, though. I realized that I needed her. Her laughter, her stories, her unwavering belief in me—she was my anchor.
I maintained my aloof façade, the mask I knew all too well. Emotions, for me, were a foreign language, their expressions clumsy and awkward. Yet, Y/n never faltered. She saw through the cracks in my carefully constructed walls, peering into the darkness with an unsettling understanding.
As we grew up, that fire only intensified. I noticed the way boys looked at her, their gazes lingering too long, their smiles a bit too eager. It drove me mad. She had always been beautiful, but as she matured, she became even more stunning, if that was possible. It wasn’t just her appearance—it was her confidence, her grace. She drew attention effortlessly
leaving Potions class, I overheard a group of boys whispering.
"Did you see Y/N today?" one of them snickered. "Merlin, I'd give anything to get her alone. Imagine what we could do... cause look at her. Bet she'd be wild in bed"
Rage flared in my chest. I walked over, my expression deceptively calm. "Care to repeat that?" I asked, smiling in a way that I knew was anything but friendly.
The boy looked up, a smirk still on his face. "I was just saying, Y/N’s looking quite... inviting today."
"Mate, I think it's time for you to apologize," Enzo said, his tone mockingly friendly.
“For what? for saying that y/n is__,”
I didn't give him a chance to continue. With a swift, hard punch, I hit him square in the jaw. He stumbled back, clutching his face, but I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, hitting him again and again. Blood spattered, and I could feel my knuckles splitting, but I didn't care.
Theo and Enzo stood beside me, positioned themselves to ensure no one could interrupt, keeping a watchful eye on the crowd that had begun to gather.
"Say it again," I say, my smile widening as the boy's eyes filled with fear. "Say something else about her."
The boy whimpered, blood dripping from his nose. "I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it."trying to get I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close. "If you ever say anything like that again, I'll do more than just hit."
Before I could continue, a voice cut through the tension. "What is going on here?" Professor Snape's tone was icy as he strode towards us, his eyes narrowing as he took in the scene.
"Nothing, Professor," Theo said smoothly. "Just a little misunderstanding."
Snape's gaze shifted to me, then to the boy, who was still crumpled on the floor. "Detention, Mr. Riddle," Snape said, his voice low and dangerous. "And you two," he pointed at Theo and Enzo, "for aiding in this... commotion."
"Yes, Professor," I said, not taking my eyes off the boy as I released him.
As Snape began dispersing the crowd, Y/N ran up to me, her face full of concern. "Mattheo, your knuckles are bleeding! Why did you hit him like that? what happened"
I looked at her, my anger melting away at the sight of her worry. Gently, I put my hand on her face, pulling her close and kissing her forehead.
She sighed, her eyes searching mine. "You can't just go around hitting people, Mattheo you know?"
"Watch me." I murmured, still smiling. holding her gaze. "Tell me, what were you reading earlier? That book you were so interested in?"
She blinked, taken aback by the sudden change in topic. "Um, it was about ancient runes. I'm trying to understand the inscriptions we found in the Forbidden Forest."
"Sounds fascinating," I said. "Let's go talk about it."
She looked at me, her worry not completely gone but softened by my genuine interest. "Alright," she said quietly, and we walked away
The Yule Ball was approaching, and the entire school buzzed with excitement. Dresses and suits were being fitted, and every conversation seemed to revolve around who was asking whom. But amidst the excitement, Y/N and I had our first big fight.
"Why does it matter so much, Mattheo?" she yelled, her voice trembling with frustration.
"Because I don't like the way Cormac has been looking at you," I shot back, pacing the common room. "He's a creep, and you know it."
"He's my friend," she retorted, crossing her arms. "And you're being ridiculous."
"Ridiculous? Really? You think it's ridiculous that I don't want some perv ogling you?"
"It's not just about him, is it? You're jealous. Admit it."
"That's not —," I snapped, though a part of me knew she was right. "I just—"
"You just what?" she interrupted, her eyes flashing with anger.
I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. She shook her head.
"Forget it, Mattheo. I can't deal with this right now," she said, turning on her heel and storming out of the room.
The next morning, the entire school was buzzing with talk of the Grindylow attack on Cormac McLaggen. Apparently, the self-important jerk had been ambushed near the lake, and now everyone was either horrified or laughing about it. As I walked out of the castle, a smirk crept onto my face, knowing exactly who could orchestrate something like that. I headed toward the lake, confident I would find her there.
Sure enough, there she was, her form reflected in the water as she practiced with a sword. Her movements were fluid, precise. She didn’t notice me at first, too caught up in her training. But then, she caught sight of me and rolled her eyes before turning back to her practice, ignoring my presence.
"Did you hear about Cormac?" I called out, trying to get her attention. 
She didn't respond, just continued swinging the sword with focused intensity.
I walked closer, unable to help myself. "They say a Grindylow got him. Attacked him out of nowhere."
Still, she acted like I wasn't there. I stepped forward and grabbed the sword by its blade, halting her mid-swing. Her eyes widened in shock and concern as she saw me gripping the sharp metal.
"Are you crazy, Mattheo?" she exclaimed, yanking the sword back. 
"Only one person could manage to get a Grindylow to attack someone," I said, smirking. 
She didn't deny it. Instead, she shot back, "I'm sending them after you next time."
"Yeah, yeah," I said dismissively, a grin tugging at my lips. "What did he do, anyway?"
Her expression darkened. "That cunt of an idiot thought he could just kiss me," she spat, her anger palpable.
Jealousy flared up inside me, but I pushed it down. "And he found out how wrong he was, huh?"
She shot me a look. "You're an idiot, Mattheo."
"Me? Why?" I say, as she spoke, I couldn’t take my eyes off her—her eyes, her lips. Damn those lips. They haunted my dreams, and seeing them tremble made something inside me snap.
“Maybe I should have just kissed him. It's just a kiss anyway, not that big of a deal."
I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my voice steady. "Just a kiss, huh?"
She continued, almost to herself, "I was saving my first kiss for—" She stopped and looked away. "I can't keep waiting forever. I'll die without experiencing it."
I looked at her, really looked at her. and she turned to leave. I grabbed her arm and gently held her face, forcing her to look at me. "Would you send a Grindylow after me if I kissed you?"
She shook her head, her eyes wide with a mixture of defiance and curiosity.
Without waiting another second, I closed the gap between us, pressing my lips against hers. The kiss was better than everything I dreamed about, intense, like a wildfire consuming everything in its path. Her lips were soft, and I felt her melt into me, her hands gripping my shirt as if to keep herself grounded.
I deepened the kiss, my hand moving to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. I could feel the heat radiating from her, matching the fire inside me. Her lips parted slightly, and I took the opportunity to explore further, tasting her, savoring every moment.
When we finally pulled apart, her eyes were wide with surprise and something else—something that mirrored what I felt inside.
"Still planning to send a Grindylow after me?" I whispered, a teasing smile on my lips.
She shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. "Not if you keep kissing me like that."
Good things are supposed to happen to good people. And I always wondered how someone like me could ever deserve her. From the first day I saw her, I knew I would give everything to this girl. Over time, it became clear that my heart wasn’t mine anymore. It belonged to her.
Every time I see her, it’s like a magnet pulling me in, an irresistible force that I can't fight even if I wanted to. After the kiss, I can't seem to keep my hands off her. It's like a switch has been flipped inside me, and now, I'm constantly drawn to her, craving the taste of her lips, the feel of her skin.
Every stolen moment between classes, every hidden corner of the castle, becomes an opportunity to indulge in this newfound obsession.
Today is no different. I spot her in the library, bent over a thick book, her hair cascading over her shoulder. She doesn’t see me yet.
I approach quietly, my steps silent on the worn stone floor. When I’m close enough, I let my fingers brush over her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly and look up at me with those eyes that always seem to see right through me.
“Mattheo,” she breathes, a smile tugging at her lips.
I smirk, leaning down to capture her mouth with mine, my hand tangling in her hair. My other hand snakes around her waist, pulling her closer, feeling the curve of her body against mine. She responds immediately, her hands gripping my shirt, pulling me down to deepen the kiss.
“Not here,” she murmurs against my lips, but there’s no conviction in her voice. Her body is saying otherwise, pressing against me with a need that matches my own.
“Here,” I insist, nipping at her bottom lip.
Before she can protest further, I’ve got her backed into a secluded corner of the library, hidden from prying eyes. My mouth moves from her lips to her neck, sucking gently, eliciting a soft moan from her. It’s music to my ears, fueling the fire inside me.
“Mattheo,” she gasps, her nails digging into my shoulders. “We’ll get caught.”
“Let them catch us,” I growl, my hands roaming over her body, feeling every curve, every dip. “Will kill whoever interupt.”
I capture her lips again, more fiercely this time, my tongue exploring her mouth. She matches my intensity, her hands now under my shirt, fingers grazing my skin. I slide my hand down to the hem of her skirt, slipping underneath to feel the soft skin of her thigh. She shivers at my touch, her breath hitching.
“Please,” she whispers.
I don’t need to be told twice. I drop to my knees, pushing her skirt up, exposing her. She’s already wet, her arousal evident. I look up at her, meeting her eyes.
There’s a moment of pure, raw connection before I lean in, pressing a kiss to her inner thigh. Her legs tremble, and she grips the shelf behind her for support.
I tease her with my tongue, flicking over her clit lightly before taking it into my mouth, sucking gently.
Her moan is louder this time, her hips bucking towards me. I hold her steady, my hands on her hips, guiding her movements. I delve deeper, tasting her fully, my tongue exploring every inch of her. Her hands find their way into my hair, pulling me closer, urging me on.
“Mattheo,” she moans, her voice breathy and desperate. “Don’t stop.”
I have no intention of stopping. I increase my pace, my tongue working her clit faster, harder. Her moans become more frequent, her body trembling with the intensity of her impending orgasm. I can feel it building, her muscles tightening, her breath coming in short gasps.
She cries out, her body convulsing with pleasure, her nails digging into my scalp. I continue my ministrations, riding out her orgasm until she’s quivering and breathless.
I stand, pulling her into my arms, kissing her deeply, letting her taste herself on my lips. Her arms wrap around my neck, her body melting into mine.
“I love you,” she whispers against my lips.
As the seventh year at Hogwarts drew to a close, whispers filled the air like a thick fog: Voldemort was back. I could feel it, a gnawing certainty deep in my bones. But I couldn't face it—not yet. So I ignored it, pushing down the creeping dread as much as I could.
We were leaving the castle soon, and Y/N had confided in me that she didn't want to go back to her parents' house. The thought of her being anywhere near danger tore at me, but I knew what I had to say.
"It's safer there," I told her, my voice firm yet gentle as we stood in a secluded corridor. I cupped her face, my thumb brushing her cheek. "You have to stay with them, at least for now."
"But I want to be with you," she insisted, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
I kissed her then, softly at first, then with all the desperation I felt. "I promise you, I'm still with you. Always," I whispered against her lips. "But you need to stay there."
Reluctantly, she nodded, and I handed her a small, enchanted locket. "This is for you," I said, fastening it around her neck. "If you need me, just press it, and I'll know. I'll come to you, no matter what."
Two weeks later, Enzo and I were lounging in my room, talking about everything and nothing, when suddenly the locket lit up. Enzo's eyes widened as he pointed. "Mate, is that Y/N?"
I was off the bed in an instant, my heart pounding. "Y/N?" I said into the locket, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. "Are you okay?"
"Mattheo, can you come get me?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper, trembling and broken. She sounded like she was crying.
"I'm coming. Just hold on," I said, grabbing my jacket and racing out of the room. Enzo's voice was a distant echo as I sprinted down the stairs, keys already in hand.
"Where are you?" I asked into the locket, sliding into my car. Her words were shaky, filled with fear and confusion, as she tried to explain her location.
"I... I don't know exactly. Near the park, I think," she stammered.
"I'm on my way," I reassured her, my knuckles white as I gripped the steering wheel. The streets blurred past me as I drove, my mind solely focused on finding her.
When I finally saw her, my heart nearly stopped. She was sitting on a bench, wearing her pajamas, looking so small and fragile. I jumped out of the car and rushed to her.
"Y/N!" I called. She looked up, her face pale, and I saw the blood on her mouth and nose. Without thinking, she ran to me, and I caught her in my arms, holding her as tightly as I could.
"Mattheo," she sobbed against my chest, and the sight of her hurt made a dark, vengeful fire ignite within me. I would burn the whole world to the ground for this.
Seeing the blood, something inside me snapped. Rage boiled up, threatening to consume me. Whoever did this to her would pay dearly.
"Who did this to you?" I demanded.
She just clung to me tighter, unable to speak through her tears. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to calm the raging storm inside me.
Whoever did this was going to pay. They would beg for mercy, and I wouldn't give it, not after what they did to her.
"Shh, it's okay," I whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I'm here now. You're safe. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."
No one would ever touch her again, not as long as I lived.
I slipped my jacket off and draped it over her shoulders, then scooped her up in my arms, holding her close. She buried her face in my chest, still shaking, and I carried her to the car.
I glanced at Y/N. She was one of the strongest people I knew, and seeing her like this drove me mad with anger. "Let me see," I said. She flinched when I reached out to check the bleeding on her face.
"It's not as bad as it looks," she whispered, but her voice trembled.
I clenched the steering wheel, fighting to control my fury. "Thank you for coming," she began, her voice small and broken.
"Of course I came," I cut her off, my voice rough with emotion. "I will always come for you."
"Tell me who did this? Who did this to you, Y/N?" I said, my voice softer but still edged with anger.
She breathed deeply and looked out the window, her body tense. "You know why I was sure you wouldn’t be like your father, Mattheo?" she said softly. "You shouldn’t be punished for his crimes."
Her voice grew weaker, and it shattered my heart. She turned to look at me, her beautiful eyes filled with tears that I hated seeing there.
"Because I know I'm not like mine," she continued, tears spilling over her cheeks., and for the first time, she let herself cry freely.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside me. "He did that?"
She looked down, her fingers trembling as she clutched the jacket around her. "He's been... he's been hurting me for years, Mattheo. Tonight, he... he tried to do it again. But this time, I fought back."
My heart ached at her words, rage boiling within me.
She lifted her head, her eyes filled with a mix of fear and determination. "I set the house on fire. I watched it burn. I wanted to hurt him as he hurt me."
Tears spilled down her cheeks again, and I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly.
She sobbed against my chest, her body shaking with the force of her emotions. "I don't regret it, Mattheo. I wanted to hurt him, to make him feel the pain he caused me."
I held her tighter. "I understand, love. I understand."
We stayed like that for a long time. No one would ever touch her again. Not as long as I lived.
After a moment, I started the car and drove her home. When we arrived, Enzo was sitting in the living room. As soon as he saw her, he stood up quickly, concern etched on his face. I shook my head, a silent command for him not to ask or say anything. He nodded and sat back down, understanding the gravity of the situation.
I led her to my room, gently closing the door behind us. "Let's get you cleaned up," I said softly. I rummaged through my drawer, pulling out a clean shirt for her.
Carefully, I helped her out of her torn clothes, my hands shaking as I saw the extent of her injuries. Blood had dried on her skin, mingling with bruises that were already forming.
"I need to shower," she whispered.
"I'll help you," I replied, guiding her to the bathroom. I turned on the water, making sure it was warm before helping her step in. She winced as the water hit her, and I gently washed the blood from her skin. My heart ached with each wince, each sign of her pain.
Once she was clean, I wrapped her in a towel and led her back to the bedroom. I helped her into my shirt. "Sit down," I said, fetching a first-aid kit. I cleaned the cuts on her face and arms, working carefully to avoid causing her more pain.
"How did you learn to do that?" she asked, her voice weak but curious as I braided her hair with careful precision.
"I watched and learned for you," I replied softly, finishing the braid and tying it off. 
I helped her into bed and lay down beside her, wrapping my arms around her protectively. She clung to my shirt, her fingers gripping tightly as if afraid I would vanish. "I’m here," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I’m not going anywhere."
Her breathing gradually slowed, and she drifted off to sleep, her fingers still clutching my shirt. I held her close. 
As she slept, I vowed silently to be her shield, to fight for her and with her, no matter the cost.
Y/N made me promise not to do anything to her father. Her trust in me is a fragile thread, and I can’t bring myself to break it, no matter how much I despise the man.
Lately, my nightmares have become worse. They’re no longer just shadows and screams. Now, I see my father, his voice echoing through the darkness, calling my name. Every night, it gets louder, more insistent, and I wake up drenched in sweat, his voice still ringing in my ears.
There are signs, subtle but unmistakable, that darkness is creeping back into my life. I don’t want to believe it’s my father, but deep down, I can feel his presence. It’s a sensation I can’t deny any longer, no matter how much I wish it away.
When I got home, I found Y/N sitting with Enzo. I stormed past them, heading straight to my room. Y/N followed quickly.
“Mattheo, what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice a mix of concern and frustration.
“Nothing,” I snapped, not turning around.
“Are you mad because I’m staying here?” she pressed, trying to meet my gaze.
“Mad? No, it’s not that,” I said harshly. “It’s everything else. Everything piling up. I can’t take it anymore.”
She stepped closer, her eyes searching mine. “You’re scaring me, Mattheo.”
Hearing her say that broke something inside me. I never wanted to make her feel this way. I turned to her, cupping her face gently. “Love, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I just... I’m drowning in this darkness.”
She looked at me, tears welling in her eyes. “I’ve noticed you don’t sleep well. You’ve been having nightmares, haven’t you?”
I pulled her into a tight hug, not wanting to burden her with the horrors of my mind. “Yes, but I don’t want to worry you with them. It’s my battle to fight.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on as if I might slip away. “You don’t have to do this alone, Mattheo.”
The wizarding world saw me in two extremes: a legacy of power or a monster. I’ve always struggled with which one I truly am.
Y/N leaned in and kissed me softly, grounding me in the moment. We moved to the bed, and she settled on my lap, her presence a soothing balm to my tortured soul.
“Let’s leave all of this behind,” she whispered, her lips brushing my ear.
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Run away with me. Just you and me, somewhere far away where no one knows us.”
The idea was tempting, but I shook my head. “We can’t. It’s not that simple.”
She looked at me with determination. “Yes, it is. We can make a new life together, away from all this darkness.”
Her conviction started to break down my resistance. “You really think we can do that?”
She nodded, her eyes filled with hope. “I know we can. We just have to take the first step.”
We left everything behind, the shadows of my past fading.The countryside stretched before us, green fields rolling out in every direction. The house stood there, quaint and peaceful, a stark contrast to the chaos we’d left behind.
Y/N was beaming, her joy radiating as she looked around. "Can you believe it?" she said, her voice full of excitement. "We’re really here."
I forced a smile, trying to match her enthusiasm. "So, we’re living in the countryside now?" I teased, but the words felt hollow. I wasn’t sure this was a great idea. The nightmares and the darkness seemed far away, but they still lingered in my mind.
She noticed my hesitation and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the house. "Come on, let me show you inside. You’re going to love it," she said, her eyes sparkling with pride.
As we walked through the house, she pointed out all the little details she adored. But I wasn’t really looking at the house; I was looking at her. She was so happy, so alive, and it was a beautiful sight.
She caught me staring and paused. "What?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips.
I stepped closer, my voice dropping to a husky whisper. "I’m thinking about all the things I’m going to do to you in this house," I said, and she laughed shooking her head.
I pulled her to me, kissing her deeply, my hands roaming her body.
started to unbutton her shirt, my hands moving with a sense of urgency. "I’m going to take you right here, against the wall," I murmured, my voice thick with need. "And then on the kitchen table, and in our bed. You’re not going to be able to walk tomorrow, love."
She swatted at me playfully. "Mattheo, don’t ruin anything in the house."
"Yes, ma'am," I replied, my tone dripping with mischief. I lifted her effortlessly, her legs wrapping around my waist.
She loved our new house, always pointing out little things she adored about it. One evening, she insisted on making dinner, spaghetti specifically. The kitchen became a warzone of diced vegetables and spilled sauce. Laughing, I pulled her close, lifting her onto the counter.
"Let me handle it, love," I said, kissing her lightly. "You look adorable up there."
She pouted but relented, watching me as I took over the cooking.
She introduced me to muggle movies and insisted I listen to her favorite music. Though it was different from what I was used to, I found myself enjoying it all because it made her happy.
Today, we were lying in a big field, her head resting on my legs. She looked up at the sky and said, "I love the color green."
"Why’s that?" I asked, running my fingers through her hair.
"It reminds me of nature, of life and growth," she said softly. "And because it reminds me of you."
I smiled, feeling a warmth in my chest. She turned her head to look at me, a fleeting fear crossing her features. "This feels like a dream," she whispered.
I stroked her cheek. "It’s real, love. I’m here with you."
She sighed, sitting up and looking into my eyes. "I'm afraid, Mattheo. I don't ever want you to leave."
I cupped her face in my hands, my voice firm. "I won’t leave you. I promise."
She smiled and held my face in her hands, her eyes shining with determination. "I promise I will never leave you either. Until my last breath, I will love you, and I will always choose you."
The thought of her last breath made anger flare inside me. "That won't happen," I said stubbornly.
She laughed softly. "It will happen one day, Mattheo."
"No, it won’t," I insisted.
She shook her head gently, her eyes full of understanding. "We can't stop death, Mattheo. And it’s not always a bad thing. I would die happily knowing I have been loved by you in this life, and I will search for you in every life after."
She hugged me then, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close.
As the days passed, the feeling grew stronger. I could hear his whispers in the wind, feel his presence lurking in the shadows.
My father was out there, and I could no longer deny it. The darkness he brought with him tainted the very air I breathed.
Y/N came running to me, her arms wrapping around me from behind. "Mattheo, you won't believe what I heard today," she started, her voice full of excitement. "Mrs. Johnson from next door said that Mr. Thompson’s cat was found in the bakery! Can you imagine a cat in the bakery?"
I put my hands over hers, trying to focus on her words, but the whispers were getting worse, growing louder. I could barely hear her over the din in my mind. I kissed her hand softly. "Love, I have to go out for a bit. I won’t be long."
She turned me around, concern etched on her face. "Now? It’s too late, Mattheo. What’s so important?"
"It’s something I need to take care of," I said firmly. "You should sleep. Don’t wait up for me."
Before she could respond, I pulled away, leaving her standing there with a confused and worried expression.
I hated doing this to her, making her feel sad and abandoned. But I couldn't ignore the feeling any longer. I knew it too well, and I couldn't risk whatever was coming happening with her here.
I grew up in a house filled with shadows and whispers, a place where love was a foreign concept. My mother was a mad woman, her mind often lost in a haze. Sometimes she would forget about me entirely, her thoughts barricading her from reality. I learned early on not to rely on her for comfort or stability.
My father, known to the world as Voldemort, was a figure cloaked in darkness. They said he was incapable of love, that he thrived on fear and power. But he treated me better than my mother did—at least, that's what I told myself. I liked to believe that in his own twisted way, he cared for me, had plans for me that were too grand for me to understand at a young age.
There was an old man, Crest, who took care of me. Loyal to the Dark Lord, Crest was my guardian and protector. He was the one constant in my chaotic life, showing me a kind of rough love that I clung to desperately. Crest raised me, teaching me about the world as best as he could within the constraints of my father’s will.
The first lesson I learned however was my father doing.
I remember the day vividly. I was young, perhaps seven or eight. My father and I were in one of the dark, cold rooms of our mansion. He was lecturing me, as he often did, about power and control.
"Mattheo," he began, his voice a cold, steady hiss. "Do you understand what love is?"
I looked up at him, my small frame trembling slightly. "It's when you care about someone, right?"
He laughed, a sound devoid of warmth. "Love is a weakness, a flaw in human nature. It makes you vulnerable."
Just then, Crest entered the room. My eyes lit up and I ran to him, seeking the comfort his presence always provided. "Crest!"
The old man smiled at me, his eyes filled with a kind of sad affection.
My father’s gaze turned icy. "Do you respect Crest, Mattheo?"
I nodded vigorously. "I love him."
Voldemort’s expression hardened. "Love is dangerous, Mattheo. It can be used against you. Watch."
He pulled out a wand, and my eyes widened with a mix of fear and fascination. I had always wanted to use one, to feel its power.
"Take it," he ordered, handing me the wand.
I grasped it with trembling hands, looking up at him uncertainly.
"Kill him," he commanded, his voice icy and implacable.
My heart froze. "No, Father, please..."
Crest's eyes widened with fear, but he remained still, resigned to his fate.
"Do it, Mattheo," Voldemort insisted. "Show me you are strong."
I couldn’t move. I couldn't do it. My hands shook violently.
In a swift, merciless motion, my father pointed his own wand at Crest and uttered the curse. "Avada Kedavra."
A flash of green light filled the room, and Crest's body crumpled to the ground, lifeless. I screamed and ran to his side, clutching his hand.
The first lesson I learned was to never show my emotions, never reveal my weaknesses. My father knew everyone’s vulnerabilities, and he wouldn’t hesitate to use them against us.
I remember that day, I remember it too well.
As I walked further from our home, the sense of impending doom grew stronger. The shadows seemed darker, the air colder. I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, the whispers of darkness growing louder in my mind. Suddenly, Death Eaters began to materialize around me, their presence suffocating and malevolent.
Then he appeared, emerging from the darkness like a specter. Voldemort. My father. His smile was cruel, his eyes gleaming with a twisted kind of pride. "Son," he greeted, his voice a cold, slithering whisper.
I stood my ground, glaring at him, refusing to move. "Aren’t you happy to see your father?" he asked, his tone mocking.
I felt a surge of anger and pain. "Why would I be happy?”
His smile widened, more sinister than before. "Did you not try to find me? Did you not wish for my return?"
"I didn’t want you to return," I spat, the words filled with a defiance that surprised even me.
Suddenly, a sharp blow struck me. I looked up to see Bellatrix, my mother, her eyes wild with madness. "You dare speak to your father that way?" she shrieked.
I smiled, blood trickling from my mouth. "What do you care, Mother? You were too busy losing your mind to notice anything else."
Her face contorted with rage, and she raised her hand to strike me again. But before she could, she screamed, her body convulsing. I looked up to see Voldemort holding his wand, a cruel smile on his lips.
"No one lays a hand on my heir," he said, his voice dripping with menace. "Bellatrix, you will remember your place. My son is not to be harmed."
His words were powerful, echoing in the dark night. I closed my eyes, trying to block out her screams, the sound tearing at my soul. "Father, stop," I finally managed, my voice hoarse.
Voldemort looked at me, amusement flickering in his eyes. "And what are you doing out here, my boy, in the countryside? Running away, perhaps?"
I knew he already knew the truth, but I couldn’t let him see it. "I needed some air. I was restless."
"Restless," he repeated, the word dripping with sarcasm. "Or were you trying to escape your responsibilities, your destiny?"
I stood up slowly, trying to gather my strength. "Believe what you want. It doesn’t change anything."
He took a step closer, his gaze piercing. "You think you can hide from me? You think you can live a normal life, away from the darkness that binds us? You are my son, my heir. And you will learn to embrace your destiny, whether you like it or not."
I met his eyes, my own filled with defiance. "I think I can try. I don’t want to be like you."
His laughter was cold, echoing through the night. "You are my son. You cannot escape what you are."
I clenched my fists, the anger and helplessness threatening to overwhelm me. "I can. And I will."
Voldemort’s expression hardened, the amusement gone. "Do not test me, Mattheo. You are my heir. You have a destiny to fulfill."
My father’s presence loomed over me, the tension in the air grew palpable. He studied me with those cold, penetrating eyes, and I knew he was far from done with his probing questions.
tell me about this girl you've been spending so much time with."
I tensed, but kept my expression neutral. "She's no one important."
His eyes narrowed, a cruel smile playing at his lips. "No one important? Then why do I sense such... attachment?"
"It's nothing, Father," I lied smoothly. "Just a distraction. Something physical. Nothing more."
His laughter was sharp and mocking. "Oh, Mattheo,do you love her?"
I forced myself to meet his gaze, my heart pounding in my chest. "No. I don't love her."
Inside, I felt a pang of guilt and sadness. I loved her more than anything, but I couldn't let him see that.
But I had to lie, had to make him believe it was nothing more than a physical connection. She deserved better than to be dragged into this darkness.
"Just physical?" he mused, his tone laced with derision. "Is that what you tell yourself to justify your weakness?"
"Yes," I replied, my voice steady. "It's only physical."
He stepped closer, his gaze piercing through me. "You think you can fool me?"
"It's just a game, Father. A way to pass the time," I insisted, the lie burning on my tongue.
Voldemort's smile widened, cruel and knowing. "You cannot escape your fate, Mattheo. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise."
I held his gaze, my defiance burning bright despite the fear gnawing at me. "I don’t intend to escape. I’m simply enjoying my life."
His laughter echoed in the dark night, cold and merciless. "Enjoying your life? How quaint. You think you can hide your true feelings from me?"
"I have no true feelings for her," I lied again, the words tasting bitter.
"Well then," he said, his eyes glinting with malice, "if she truly means nothing, it would be of no consequence if she were to... disappear." He paused, letting the threat hang in the air. "In fact, I think it might be a good test of your loyalty."
I fought to keep my face expressionless, to hide the terror clawing at my insides, to act unbothered. "Do as you wish," I replied, my voice steady.
"Bellatrix," Voldemort called, turning to my mother, who was watching with wild eyes. "Go and find this girl. Make sure her end is... memorable."
My mother eyes gleamed with a sick excitement. "Yes, my Lord."
I forced myself to remain still, to show no reaction, even as my heart pounded in my chest.
"Make it painful," Voldemort added, his eyes focusing on me. "I want her to suffer, to know the price of being a distraction."
I could feel the bile rising in my throat, but I kept my face impassive. It was only when Bellatrix turned to leave that the words burst from my lips.
"Don't," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Voldemort turned back to me, his expression one of cold amusement. "What was that?"
His hand gripping my chin tightly. "You are a fool, Mattheo. You have created a weakness for yourself, and now that weakness must be eradicated."
"Father," I said, my voice steady despite the fear coursing through me, "you will not lay a hand on her."
He laughed softly, the sound devoid of any warmth. "You think you can order me, boy? This girl must die to teach you a lesson. A lesson to remind you of your responsibilities, of your true nature."
His grip tightened painfully. "You will not put a hand on her," I repeated, my voice firm, my gaze locked with his.
His eyes burned with cold fury, and his lips curled into a sinister smile. "Very well, Mattheo," he said, his voice dripping with malevolent amusement. "Follow me."
I followed him through the darkened corridors of the manor, my heart pounding with each step. My mind raced, trying to anticipate his next move, but nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to witness.
We entered a dimly lit room, and there, suspended in mid-air, was Charity Burbage, a former professor at Hogwarts. Her eyes were wide with terror, and her pleas for mercy echoed through the room.
"Charity," Voldemort greeted with false courtesy. "I believe you know my son, Mattheo."
Charity's eyes flicked to me, filled with desperation. "Mattheo, please," she pleaded. "Help me."
I stood frozen, my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to help her, but I knew the cost of defying Voldemort. He turned to me, his eyes gleaming with sadistic delight. "This is a lesson for you, this is what happens to those who betray us."
Charity's eyes locked onto mine. "Mattheo," she pleaded, tears streaming down her face, her cries grew louder, more frantic. "Mattheo, please! You can stop this!"
I felt a knot tighten in my stomach, but I knew better than to show any sign of weakness.
I felt a surge of helpless rage, my blood boiling with the need to act, to do something, but I remained rooted to the spot. Voldemort raised his wand, his gaze never leaving mine.
"Avada Kedavra," he said softly, almost reverently.
A flash of green light filled the room, and Charity's pleas were silenced forever. Her lifeless body crumpled to the floor, and I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. Voldemort turned to me, his expression a mask of twisted satisfaction.
"This," he said, gesturing to Charity's body, "is what happens when you allow yourself to be weak. Do you understand, Mattheo?"
I swallowed hard, fighting back the bile that rose in my throat. "Yes, Father," I forced out, my voice hoarse.
He stepped closer, his eyes boring into mine. "You must learn to sever your attachments, to purge yourself of any weakness. Only then will you be truly strong."
"You must prove your loyalty. Now, about this girl of yours. I want you to kill her."
Before I could respond, one of the Death Eaters, snickered and said, "Bet she's a pretty little thing. Will she allow a Death Eater in her bed, or just the heir?"
Rage boiled within me, and before I knew it, I had my wand out. "Crucio!"
His screamed in agony, writhing on the floor. Voldemort watched with a smirk, clearly amused. "Such passion, Mattheo. But your actions only prove that she must die."
Voldemort's gaze hardened, and he turned to another Death Eater. "Bring our guest."
The doors swung open, and I saw Y/N's father being dragged in, his eyes wild with terror.
"Kill him, Mattheo," Voldemort ordered, his eyes glinting with malicious glee.
I had promised Y/N I wouldn’t harm her father, but now, faced with this command, I was torn. "Kill him, Mattheo," Voldemort repeated. "Or the girl dies."
Y/N's father fell to his knees, his voice trembling. "Kill her! Kill her instead, please! I will serve you, my lord. I will be loyal!”
Voldemort approached me, his eyes glittering with a cruel satisfaction. "You see, Mattheo, even the most desperate will turn on those they love to save themselves, even his own father doesn’t think she’s worth saving."
"You can kill her please, you can—"
His pleas were cut short as I cast the killing curse, my wand steady, my resolve unshaken. I felt no regret, no sorrow.
Voldemort’s cruel smile returned. "Well done, my boy. Now, let’s see where your true loyalties lie."
He stepped closer, his voice dripping with venom. "Choose, Mattheo. Your precious girl, or your little brother."
My heart twisted in my chest. "What?"
He laughed, the sound cold and hollow. "I’m merely testing you. But make no mistake. Once the girl dies, you will be free, Mattheo. Free from these weaknesses."
I stood there, my mind reeling, trying to hold on to some semblance of control. "You must choose," he continued, his voice relentless. "Do you want to protect her, or do you want to protect yourself and your family, your friends?"
I clenched my fists, meeting Voldemort's cold gaze with defiance.
"Think carefully, my boy. Love is a chain that binds you. Cut it, and you will be stronger. Cut it, and you will be free."
“I would leave her, end things with her, but you just had to leave her out of it”' I said, my voice quivering with suppressed emotion. The words spilled out with a strength I didn't know I had, my heart shattering as I spoke.His expression remained impassive.
"promise me, father, Promise me that you'll leave her out of this. She's innocent, she has nothing to do with any of this. And I swear to end things with her, take my duties and responsibilities, you just have to give me your word, that’s the first time I ask anything from you and would be the last"
His eyes gleamed with triumph. "Very well, Mattheo. Go, end things with her, and return to me. No one shell hurt her, you have my word. But remember, any mistake, and not just the girl dies. You will have to choose someone else to die as punishment for your disobedience. Understand?"
I swallowed my rage, forced myself to nod. "Yes, I understand."
As I left the room, I saw Enzo, my little brother, standing in the hallway. "What are you doing here?" I demanded angrily.
"It’s his duty," Voldemort answered for him, placing a hand on Enzo's shoulder.
I felt a surge of protectiveness and fury, but I hid it. "I will return soon," I said, my voice steady.
Voldemort's eyes bore into mine. "See that you do, Mattheo. See that you do."
I walked away, my mind a storm of emotions, knowing that my every step was being watched, and every decision weighed with life and death.
It was well past midnight when I finally opened the front door. My heart pounded as I walked in, the weight of what I had to do pressing down on me. The moment I saw her, my resolve wavered. Before I could think, my lips crashed onto hers in a desperate, hungry kiss.
“Mattheo,” she whispered against my mouth, but I silenced her with another kiss, more demanding this time. My hands roamed her body, pulling her closer, needing to reassure myself that she was real, that she was here.
"Mattheo, what's going on?" she tried to ask, but I silenced her again, my fingers gripping her hips tightly.
"Just let me have this," I said softly, my voice cracking. The pain in my heart was unbearable.
I bent her over, yanking down her pants, and thrust into her hard and fast. The intensity of my movements was driven by the need to drown out the agony inside me. I couldn't let her see my pain, couldn't let her know how much it was tearing me apart.
“Did something happen, baby?” she managed to gasp out between thrusts, her hands gripping the sheets.
I didn’t answer, just increased my pace, trying to lose myself in the physicality of the moment. The roughness of my touch, the ferocity of my rhythm—it was all I could offer to mask my torment.
“Mattheo, I’m gonna—”
Her scream echoed through the room as she came, her body trembling. I followed moments later, my release silent but powerful, my grip on her tightening as I shuddered.
I pulled out and turned her around, lifting her onto the bed with a gentleness that contrasted sharply with my earlier roughness. Her eyes were filled with concern and confusion.
“I love you,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
“I love you too,” she replied, her heartache evident.
I moved within her slowly, each thrust a silent promise. I wanted to cling to her, to hold her forever, but I knew I had to let go. We reached our climax together, and the wave of pleasure was bittersweet.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly when we were done, her head resting on my chest. I didn’t answer, just held her tighter, my arms a protective cocoon around her. I wished I could tell her the truth, but I couldn’t risk it. I had to protect her.
The next morning, I woke up early and slipped out of bed. I stood on the balcony, smoking a cigarette, trying to steel myself for what I had to do. When she came up behind me, wrapping her arms around me and pressing a kiss to my cheek, it took everything in me not to break down.
"Mattheo," she started, her voice tentative, "please talk to me. What's going on?"
Silence was my only response. I couldn’t risk breaking down, couldn’t risk her seeing the pain I was in.
"Mattheo, please don't shut me out."
I took another slow drag, exhaling the smoke with a sigh, but said nothing. The wall between us was thicker than ever, and it was killing me.
"Do you not trust me?" she asked, her voice cracking. "You said you love me, and I believe you. But if you don't let me in, how can we face whatever is bothering you?"
I flicked the cigarette butt over the railing, watching it fall before finally turning to face her. Her eyes were filled with tears, and it broke my heart.
His grip on my hand was firm as he led us back into the room. I sank onto the couch, my heart aching with the weight of what I had to do. She moved to sit beside me, her voice soft and pleading. "Hey, baby, please, what is bothering you?"
I remained a statue, my body rigid, my gaze fixed on the floor. I couldn't bear to look at her.
"We are not going anywhere," I said flatly, cutting her off. The coldness in my voice was a defense mechanism, a way to protect her.
Panic clawed at her throat. "Okay, we can stay home," she stammered, desperately searching for anything to break the suffocating silence.
I stood up abruptly, startling her. I hated doing this, hated the pain I was causing her, but I couldn't risk her life. "Don't you get it?" I spat, my voice laced with bitterness. "This was never supposed to be serious. It was fun, a distraction, but nothing more."
Her breath hitched. "Distraction?"
"But... but I..." she stammered, the words catching in her throat.
"You what, Y/N?" I scoffed, the sound harsh. "Did you think being with me was some grand fairytale? You know who I am, Y/N. There's a legacy to uphold, a family to consider. Did you think you, with your… your ordinary life, could ever fit into that?"
"But… we built a beautiful life together. We talked about our future," she said, her voice choked with tears.
"Future? Y/N, you left your life for me. Your family, your friends, everything. Did you really think I'd just abandon everything I have, my legacy, for… for you?"
"I… I never asked you to abandon anything," she whispered, tears streaming down her face.
"But you did," I countered. "You disrupted the plan. You made me question everything."
"But I love you," she whispered, the words fragile and broken. "I gave up everything for you."
"Love? Don't be ridiculous. You were just young and naive, Y/N. You thought escaping your family drama meant finding some happily ever after. This isn't some storybook.”
Her pain was palpable, and it tore me apart. "Did you ever love me, Mattheo? Or was it just another lie?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
I met her gaze, forced my eyes to look at her. "No," I said, the word sharp and like a knife to my heart. "I liked you, Y/N. I enjoyed the… distraction. But this? This isn't love."
Her tears fell uncontrollably as she sank onto the couch. I wanted to wipe them away, to hold her and tell her the truth, but I couldn't. I had to protect her, even if it meant breaking her heart.
"I'll leave," I said. "You can stay here."
I grabbed my phone and keys, my movements mechanical. I walked towards the door, the sound of it slamming shut echoing in the room. As the final echo died down, I felt a piece of my heart shatter.
I hated myself for doing this, for hurting her. But I couldn't risk her life. I couldn't let her become another pawn in my father's game. And so, I walked away, leaving a part of my soul behind with her.
Days passed in a blur of darkness and duty. Each moment without Y/N felt like a knife twisting deeper into my soul. I couldn’t risk going back to her, couldn’t show any sign of weakness. I had to prove to my father that it was over, that she no longer held any power over me. But the truth was, life without her was a torment I could barely endure.
My father spoke often of power and darkness, of the strength that came from severing emotional ties. His lessons were cruel, I tried to focus on the tasks at hand, to immerse myself in the dark teachings of my father, but every thought inevitably led back to her. Y/N. The name echoed in my mind like a forbidden incantation, a ghost haunting my every waking moment.
my father called us together. Enzo stood beside me, his face a mask of grim determination. Voldemort’s voice was low, commanding. "Enzo, you will lead this mission. I need you to retrieve a very special item from the Ministry."
Enzo’s eyes widened slightly, but he nodded. "Yes, my Lord."
I felt a surge of protectiveness. "Father, let me do it."
Voldemort’s eyes narrowed. "Are you questioning my orders, Mattheo?"
Before I could respond, Enzo placed a hand on my arm. "Don’t, Mattheo."
Another Death Eater sneered, his voice dripping with contempt. "Listen to your bastard brother, heir."
The words ignited a fire within me. I turned to face him, my wand already in hand. "Say that again."
He laughed, a cruel, mocking sound. "Why? Enzo is a bastard from a whore. Bellatrix is nothing but a—"
"Then by your logic," I interrupted, my voice cold and dangerous, "I’m a bastard too. So call me that. Go on."
The room went silent. The Death Eater’s smirk faltered, but he pressed on. "You’re—"
"Crucio!" I shouted, and the man collapsed, writhing in agony. I held the spell, watching as he screamed, my rage boiling over.
Theodore, Draco, and Blaise watched, their expressions a mix of shock and approval. Enzo whispered urgently, "Mattheo, stop."
But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I intensified the curse, the man’s screams echoing off the walls. Another Death Eater stepped forward, trying to intervene, but I cast another Cruciatus Curse, sending him to the floor beside the first.
"You see that, Father?" I said, my voice shaking with fury. "I’m really your son after all."
Voldemort’s lips curled into a proud smile.
I left the room, my heart pounding, my mind a storm of conflicting emotions. I found myself in my room, my hand on the wall, pressing so hard that it started to bleed. I slid down to the ground, the pain a welcome distraction from the torment in my soul.
Darkness was consuming me, gnawing away at what little light I had left. I was becoming the very thing I despised, a creature of the shadows, a pawn of my father. Each day, I felt myself slipping further into the abyss, the line between right and wrong blurring until it was almost indistinguishable.
I found Luna Lovegood in one of the cold, damp cells of the dungeons. Her ethereal calmness was a stark contrast to the despair around her. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice harsher than I intended.
"They took me because I know too much," she said simply, her wide eyes unafraid, I shook my head to her to shut up.
She was here because he believed her father’s magazine might contain hidden messages or useful information for the Order of the Phoenix.
"She doesn't know anything, Father. I assure you," I said, turning to Voldemort.
He refused to free her. "At least don’t treat her like a hostage," I pleaded. With a reluctant nod from him, I took Luna to a more comfortable room.
"Thank you," she said softly, sitting down on the bed.
As I turned to leave, she spoke again. "They say she hasn’t left home for days."
I froze. "What?"
"The one you're thinking about," Luna continued, her voice gentle. "A magical creature only I can see told me. They say Y/N hasn’t left the house. She still thinks you’re coming back. She feels miserable, she is in so much pain."
I clenched my fists, trying to suppress the rage boiling inside me. "So are you, Mattheo," Luna added quietly.
I left the room, the anger and guilt eating at me. The thought of Y/N in pain, waiting for me, tore at my soul. I wanted to let the whole world burn for what it was doing to her. I wanted to go to her, to tell her I had lied, that I had never loved anything as I loved her. But I couldn’t.
As I stalked through the dark hallway my father appeared. His cold eyes assessed me, and I steeled myself against his scrutiny.
"Feeling conflicted, my boy?" Voldemort asked, a cruel smile playing on his lips.
I met his gaze, trying to appear strong. "I know my duty," I said flatly.
He leaned in, his voice a sinister whisper. "Good. It would be unfortunate if you decided to go back to old distractions. There are consequences, you know, for losing focus."
His words were a veiled threat, a reminder of what he could do to Y/N if I faltered. I nodded, the cold dread settling in my stomach. "I understand, Father."
"Remember, Mattheo," he said, straightening up. "Power and loyalty are what matter. Attachments are weaknesses."
I watched him walk away, my heart heavy with the weight of my choices. The darkness was consuming me, and I didn’t know how much longer I could resist it.
The day passes in a haze of anger and I leaned against the cold stone wall, watching the chaos unfold. The room was thick with tension and suspicion as Death Eaters hurled accusations at each other.
Whispers of a shadow, an elusive killer who moved unseen, had spread fear among them. They couldn't figure out who he was or where he came from. He was a ghost, a phantom that slipped through their fingers, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake.
"This is your fault, Dolohov!" Mother snarled, her wild eyes blazing with fury. "If you had secured the perimeter, this wouldn't be happening!"
"Don't be absurd, Bellatrix," Dolohov shot back, his wand raised defensively. "Your incompetence is what's allowing this to happen. If you had been more vigilant—"
"Silence!"
Father’s voice cut through the din like a knife, freezing everyone in their tracks. The Dark Lord's eyes swept the room, his face a mask of cold rage. The tension was palpable as he raised his wand and pointed it at one of his most trusted lieutenants, Thorne.
Thorne, a tall, gaunt man with a face as sharp as his intellect, met Voldemort's gaze with a mix of shock and terror. "My Lord, I—"
"Avada Kedavra."
The flash of green light illuminated the chamber for a split second, and then Thorne crumpled to the ground, lifeless. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I watched one of Voldemort's most trusted men die so easily, so unceremoniously. The room was silent, the only sound the crackling of the torches on the walls.
My father’s gaze shifted, meeting mine. I held his stare, my expression carefully neutral, unbothered by the carnage.
"Mattheo," he said, his voice a low hiss. "What is your opinion on this shadow? Who is he?"
I shrugged, feigning indifference. "You should focus on who he isn't, Father."
Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "Explain."
I let my eyes drift over the room, taking in the faces of the remaining Death Eaters.
"I think the traitor is someone who knows us well, someone who can anticipate our moves. It might be wise to look closer to home," I said, my voice laced with subtle insinuation. "Perhaps even among those we trust the most."
A murmur of unease spread through the room as they cast suspicious glances at each other.
My father studied me, and I could see the wheels turning in his mind. He knew I was toying with him, but he couldn't quite place the blame.
"If that's all, Father, I have matters to attend to," I said, pushing off the wall. I gave a small bow, excusing myself. "I'll be in my quarters if you need me."
As I walked away, the weight of my secret plan settled on my shoulders. It was I who was killing the Death Eaters, removing them one by one. To keep her safe, I needed to weaken my father, and to do that, I had to dismantle his support system. Only a fool would face Voldemort head-on, and I am no fool.
As I left the room, the shadows seemed to close in around me, but I welcomed them. They were my allies, my cover. And soon, they would be the downfall of the Dark Lord himself.
Days passed but I couldn't escape it. Her voice, her pain, it haunted me. The bed was cold and empty without her warmth, and I felt her absence like a physical wound. Every second without her was torture, but I had to stay away. I had to protect her from the darkness I had become entangled in. But knowing she was suffering because of me was unbearable.
Someone knocked hard on my door, breaking through my thoughts. I opened it to find Luna, her usually serene demeanor shattered. She was trembling, speaking in disjointed sentences that barely made sense. I took her gently by the shoulders, trying to calm her down.
"Luna, breathe. What's wrong?" I asked urgently, my voice betraying my own turmoil.
"she’s killing myself slowly," she blurted out, her eyes wide with desperation. "You need to stop it. It's already too late."
Without another word, I stormed out of the room, fury boiling inside me. I reached my father's chamber and nearly tore the door off its hinges as I entered. "You gave your word you wouldn’t do anything to her!" I shouted, my voice echoing off the stone walls.
Voldemort turned to me, his expression calm, almost amused. "It must be over by now," he said with a cold smile. "You'll thank me."
"What are you talking about?" I demanded, my heart racing.
"I freed you," he said simply, his words cutting through me like a blade.
Realization hit me like a blow to the chest. I turned and ran, my mind racing as fast as my feet. I had to get to her.
As I tore through the hallways of the manor, the walls blurred around me. My mind was singularly focused on Y/N. I reached the main hall, and in a fit of rage and desperation.
I raised my wand."Incendio!" Flames erupted around me, spreading quickly through the manor. The heat was intense, the fire consuming everything in its path. I didn't care. Let it burn. Let it all burn.
I burst out of the castle, the cold night air hitting my face as I Apparated as close as I could to our house. My heart pounded in my chest as I sprinted the rest of the way, every step bringing me closer to her.
My breath came in ragged gasps as I finally reached the house, my hands shaking as I opened the door. "Y/N!" I called out, my voice desperate. "Y/N, where are you?"
The house was eerily silent, the weight of her absence suffocating. A scream come from our room and I run to it, she fell, the floor rushing up to meet her. But just before unconsciousness claimed her, I caught her, gripping her body, arresting her fall.
“Y/N!” I shouted, my voice urgent and laced with panic. Her vision was blurry, and she blinked, disoriented and delirious.
“What have you done, love?” I asked, my voice ragged with worry. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t form. The
“It hurts so much,” she managed to gasp, tears mixing with the blood trickling down her nose.
“I know, baby, I know,” I murmured. “Just tell me, please, what have you done?”
“I just wanted it to stop,” she rasped, pointing weakly at her heart, its every beat a thrumming ache. “It hurt so much.” Her gaze drifted beyond my shoulder.
“He… he’s back?” Her voice was a rasp, barely audible, the metallic tang of blood filling her mouth.
“Shh, love, don’t try to talk,” I soothed, my grip tightening protectively around her. “What have you done to her?” I turned to my father.
“Just showed her a way to numb the pain,”
she reached for my hand, “Don’t be afraid, love,” I murmured into her hair.
“It wasn’t the deal!” I said, “I told you I would leave her, I would leave everything, but you just had to leave her out of it!”
“I’m helping you, child,” my father said, his voice devoid of emotion. “You pushed her away, but you love her. That cannot happen. You need to get rid of your weakness.”
“Shut up!” I said, my eyes blazing. “Shut the fuck up. You leave her out of this!” She choked on a fresh wave of blood. A terrible realization dawned on me – she was dying.
“You’re not dying,” I whispered fiercely, "You’re not dying, baby. I won’t allow it.”
“It’s okay,” she rasped, her voice barely audible.
“It’s not!”
“Can you say it like you used to? Can you tell me that you love me?” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I want to hear you say it one last time.”.
“No, because you are not dying,” I insisted, turning my blazing gaze back to my father. “Save her, do something and save her or I swear, I won’t just leave you. I will make sure to ruin you, ruin everything you built, kill you for good this time.”
“Mattheo,” she whispered, her voice weak but determined. I looked down at her.
“You’re not dying,” I repeated.
“Look at me, love,” I pleaded, my voice cracking. “Keep your eyes on me. Keep those beautiful eyes on me, baby.”
“I love you,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”
I cupped her face, my thumb brushing away her tear. “You’re the love of my life, and I love you more than life itself,” I declared, my voice thick with emotion.
A weak smile touched her lips. Before She closed her eyes.
"Y/N?" I called softly.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
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uncle-alam · 1 month ago
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im incredibly curious as to who are azazeel and murrah
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unwise words ..... Very very unwise... save urself while u still can
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delicrieux · 2 years ago
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—𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭, ch.1: things of present and future importance
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pairing—carmy berzatto x f!reader genre—drama, romance, age gap, boss/employee relationship warnings for this chapter—trauma, anxiety, swearing, and sum depression as dessert word count—2k
uh-oh, carmen is losing it again, this time in front of his new employee, too. 
author’s note: give me this wet dog of a man and give him to me NOWWWWWWWW
masterlist | buy me coffee☕ | read on ao3 . next >
important! some of the dialogue scenes are written as a script & dialogues that overlap are marked in [] <3
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there’s a lot of things wrong with this situation, but carmen does not have it in him to care. maybe he never will, and that’s okay, because it’s his fucking restaurant and he knows he could be kinder, could be gentler, could, maybe, keep all of those splinters in his gut from hurting too bad if he took a few deep breaths just how they say in therapy. deep breaths, slow breaths, and then they look at you like you’re a toddler having a meltdown in the middle of the street and suddenly, suddenly, it’s all go fuck yourself and the door slamming shut.
carmen’s an abandoned puppy – disheveled hair and round eyes that have been unloved (by him, most of all), with his head bent and shoulders tense, not sure whether to flee or attack, but offense is the best defense and just like a bad dog he bites when frightened. it’s all teeth and anger and desperation; jaws lock and teeth sink and he doesn’t let go because he’s starving, even if what he’s fighting for is nothing but a cadaver of a place, space, body – brother? no, don’t think of mikey. he’s starving, has been for ages – approval? don’t say that – and that hunger bubbles to the surface when confronted by a minuscule imperfection, like sauce on the stove left to simmer for too long.
it’s a bad first impression, second impression, third, what the fuck, he’s good at food and not very good at math, unless math comes to food and then, maybe, he can sort it out. still bad, still fucking terrible, to be honest, and somewhere in the frying tangles of his mind he knows that yelling doesn’t help, and that yelling in front of the new hire doesn’t bode well for retention. the last enzymes of his sanity warn him – calm down, just, just calm down, carmen, you’re making it worse, you’re making it fucking worse – but the to-go machine keeps beeping, and the kitchen is too hot, and his staff is too anxious, and everything is amplified tenfold by his brother’s looming shadow that exists to him only. don’t think of mikey.
“can someone please turn that fucking thing off?” it’s his voice, laced by such scorn and a barely contained anger that makes him tremble by the pans. he’s losing his mind. sweat collects on his temple and his eyes sting from the fumes billowing onto his face, “sydney!”
“yes, chef.”
sydney’s a trooper, doesn’t bend under pressure like steel, and he sees her maneuvering in his peripherals, quick and agile to not get into anyone’s way, least of all his. briefly, he thinks about burning this place down. he blinks. the beeping stops – she ripped the cord out of the socked, dropped it onto the floor that sent an echo.
the new hire watches this shitshow unfold by her station, eyes wide and weary, ears perked for orders. her hands move – strong hands, swift hands, long fingers and rough palms that cradle a knife the way a mother would cradle a child. she doesn’t look at what she cuts, but she chops and slices and it’s all automatic – trained response? – and if carmen were to take a ruler and inspect the pieces, he’d be impressed to find that most are even and none are crooked. he’d hum, then, skim through the folders of his mind to re-check her experience, re-check the college she went to. he’d say something like, “good work, chef,” and maybe she’d smile at the bare bones of the compliment he’d given her, and when he’d be alone in his dingy office he’d pull out her resume and examine it with more interest because he’d be too embarrassed to ask.
he’ll grow familiar with those hands, with the dips and curves of knuckles and the tiger stripes of scars running down their expanse; he’ll grow familiar with the touch, too, soft despite the callouses, but only to him. not yet, though, not for another few months till a completely expected storm will halt the trains and he’ll have to drive her home. it’ll be weeks after that awkward silence in the car and stolen glances at soaked t-shirt-clad skin.
her form is unfamiliar to him – he hadn’t any interest to look, nor would he find anything curious when all is covered in oversized fabric and a blue apron. at present, she’s his colleague, nothing more, and a young one at that, too young and too talented to be stuck in such a place and with him running it.
but he will look. sooner than expected, and not for any devout reason, unless loneliness can be considered holy.
he’ll feel bad about it, too, and he’ll feel worse when everything escalates, because it always does.
for now, he cooks by the open flame, letting hot oil sizzle on his hands and the fire lick his fingers, and maybe, just maybe, he likes the pain because he knows nothing else. it’s become empirical to him. an indication that he’s still alive. that he’s still in control of something, even if he isn’t.
richie, richie, good fucking god, richie always picks the worst moments to bitch about.
“are you fucking with me?” carmen’s voice, again, a bit higher this time and just a gruff. doe eyes narrow at the bell-tower named richard jerimovich that has the audacity to look clueless, “do not fucking fuck with me right now.”
richie: shove that stick outta [fuck you] your ass, cousin carmen: are you deaf? richie: boutta go deaf if you keep yapping [don’t got time for this]; listen, i just [you just?] came to talk [talk? now? talk?] yes, to talk, look carmen: now you wanna talk? now? you wanna [jesus] fucking talk right now?
the tension in the air is sharp enough to slice through skin. everyone pointedly pretends not to hear this conversation. carmen doesn’t want to hear this conversation, either. there’s a line of people waiting. he reminds richie of that, and richie reminds that oh, he knows, and –
“richie!” it’s sydney, cheeks glowing with sweat and bandana crooked, “not now.”
richie huffs, looks at carmen with a certain exasperation, a wordless question of ‘really? really? you’re letting her run the show, now?’, and carmen needn’t be a genius to know that richie’s gonna bring this up later. he’ll never hear the end of it, he scarcely does now. it’s a headache in the making. his heart skips, or maybe stops, and for a moment he feels white-hot panic shoot through his veins. it passes with a shiver he doesn’t show. he breathes just a tad quicker – not enough air, not enough fucking air, jesus.
richie retreats with his arms raised in surrender, amused and annoyed simultaneously. a quiet follows his departure, and carmen looks at the staff, gaze jumping from one to the other before settling on her. she’s unperturbed by the chaos, working, watching, assessing, and later he’ll learn she wears that face the same way he wears his anger – as armor.
eyes meet and there’s a certain understanding that glimmers in the depths of her iris. but what could she understand? three weeks from now, he’ll come to learn that she’s used to rough edges and loud voices: he’ll learn that she’s the daughter of the chef that made his life hell back in new york, he’ll learn that she took up cooking because she wanted to appease her father, he’ll learn that her parents have split and her mother is sick and that she’s not calm but disconnected and that she tends to live in her head just like him.
but he doesn’t know that now, so he blames the shitty lighting that blinks and buzzes and, “fak, for the love of fucking god, please fix it.”
he said please this time, and it means he’s cooling off. he thankfully misses the quick look the staff shares – a mixture of relief and pity. either would have been devastating to recognize.
the only upside is that the day goes by fast. too much to do, too much to stress about, and carmen’s used to running on nothing but nicotine and adrenaline and an odd spout of desolation, and he manages everything, keeps the pieces glued together until eventually everything becomes too much and then he crumbles. still picks them up gently, like handling broken glass. he visits the storage often. closes the door for a moment and just lets himself breathe, reminds himself how to. doesn’t calm, only collects, reigns in the anger that coats loneliness. don’t think about mikey.
the staff cleans in a similar silence that douses after a storm.
the night's clear, crisp air compounded with cigarette smoke. he leans on the wall of the restaurant, staring into space, listening to the white noise of a restless city. by now, sydney has flipped the CLOSED sign; by now, his new hire is probably thinking about quitting, elbows deep in cleaning detergent as she scrubs the floor. he’ll have to go over her work and double-check. just in case there’s something more to do for hands that are always restless.
he tries to think but his head is scrambled. too many thoughts rushing in and out, loud, obnoxious, too quick to leave a lasting impact. he’s tired. he’s always tired. he wants lay on his bed and let sleep swallow him whole, but he knows that won’t happen. if he sleeps, he dreams of new york, he dreams of fire, he dreams of voices coming from the other room. one, in particular, holds a familiar rasp and drawl, punctuated by laugher, weaving a tale and stop it, don’t think about it anymore, just stop it, don’t think about –
he tosses the cigarette, watching the embers burn.
don’t think about mikey.
he enters through the back exit, stalks through the restaurant like he's haunting the place. briefly stops to stare at the mirror behind the bar. doesn't really recognize the man staring back.
the clock reads 00:30 am.
marcus was the last to leave, or so carmen assumed by the silence that shrouds the place, but as he makes his way to his office, he hears a locker shutting, and the sound rattles him so much his heart beats in his throat. all of that previous exhaustion ignites into anxiety that makes his limbs lock up.
she halts by the mouth of the kitchen, hair matted from sweat and lower lip marked where her teeth sunk, drooped eyes widening a fraction as she regards him. he can only stare at her in return, at her messy hair and pinched eyebrows and the slight downward curl of her lips.
“you could use a coffee,” she utters, and her voice is jarring – not for any unpleasant reason, but for the fact that he didn’t expect to hear it. he’ll grow to like it, crave it, even, because it’s a lovely cadence and it’ll sound even lovelier when she says his name.
he’s frightened by it now, if one can be scared of such a thing. so he bites.
“it’s almost 1 am.”
“right,” she mutters dryly.
“why are you still here?” he questions, and it almost sounds like an accusation, because he thought he was alone, only to suddenly be proved wrong. feels like an invasion of privacy, to be fucking honest, “your shift ended like an hour ago.”
“oh, I, uh, had some things to finish, so…” she trails off, but she still looks at him, and it’s unnerving, really, how she doesn’t budge under the weight of his stare. he bends under hers, though; the floor is spotless, he has nothing left to do. he misses the visible tension in her face, misses the quick swipe of her tongue on her lower lip as she opens and closes her mouth. it’ll take two whole weeks to grow entranced by the sight. misses the polite smile, too, but hears it in her voice anyway, “night.”
her sneakers squeak and echo and the door shuts. silence settles heavy on his shoulders. he’s not sure if he’s more distraught by her sudden appearance or abrupt departure. both somehow feel bad. in less than half a year, he’ll come to realize that the latter is worse.
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ch.2: thank you, love you
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zec-draws · 1 year ago
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Where is my friend Smiley?
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shoot-i-messed-up · 3 months ago
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I know miss jo mullein has a semi-popular tumblr or at least whatever the DC in-universe equivalent is and she has mutuals who write fanfictions about the superheroes who are now her coworkers who she is desperately trying to avoid talking to about 1) her being in OUTER SPACE for an entire year with little contact with Earth and 2) NOW BEING AN ENTIRE SUPERHERO
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saffusthings · 3 months ago
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second chances
mob boss! lando norris x reader
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part two: hush hush, baby
word count: 1.5k
warnings: just shock symptoms i think? creepy stranger vibes, that's abt it i think
one | two | three
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Lando could tell she was in shock—he’d seen it before. Eyes wide, breath shallow, body trembling as though her very bones had been rattled. He took a tentative step closer, careful to keep his movements slow and non-threatening.
He had no interest in hurting her, not yet, not when she hadn’t done anything wrong. He never was a fan of collateral damage – meant you had messed up, gotten sloppy. It was unprofessional, if you asked him. However, it didn’t change the fact that sometimes, it was necessary. She had seen something she wasn’t meant to see, and while it was nothing personal, it had to be handled. He would handle it.
No need to rush things.
“You’re safe now,” he said softly, his voice smooth as he studied her. He offered her a hand, and though she hesitated, something made her instinctively reach for it. Her fingers trembled against his, cold to the touch.
“I know you’re scared, yeah?” he murmured, his tone soothing. “S’alright. Just breathe, m’kay? Can you do that fo’ me?”
He guided her back toward the mouth of the alley, where the streetlight’s soft glow illuminated the contours of her face. She crouched down, unable to keep standing, instead hugging her knees to herself as if trying to hold herself together in more ways than one. Her expression was distant, like she was in a place all on her own despite being right in front of him, lost in the vertigo.
“You’re in shock,” he says softly but firmly. The words are sure, certain– stable. “You’re going to feel dizzy, maybe a bit sick. It’s normal, yeah? But I need you to listen to me.” He knelt down, bringing himself to her level. He slowly reached a hand out, careful not to startle her, before he used a curled finger to tilt her chin up so her eyes could look at his. “Can you remember anything you saw?”
She stared at him, watching multicolored irises swirl with indiscernible colors in the low light. Her lips parted but no words came. She shook her head slightly, her eyes still unfocused.
“That’s okay. You don’t need to remember all of it. Just… just breathe with me, yeah? Deep breaths.”
She followed his guidance, barely. Her chest rose and fell in jagged, uneven intervals, and her skin was ghostly pale, but he could see the slight easing of tension in her face as she focused on her breathing. It was a start.
His lips pressed together, like he was debating something. "You shouldn’t be walking around here alone at night," he said, slipping his hands back into the pockets of his jacket after helping her up. "Bad people come out after dark."
Bad people like you?
The thought flitted through her mind, unspoken and unfounded. She didn't see the shooter’s face, not really. There was only saw shadows, movement, a vague shape pulling the trigger—but not enough to be sure.
She was sure of one thing, though: she had to get away.
"Thanks for the advice," she said, taking a shaky step back. "I’ll be fine."
But he didn't move.
"Look," he exhaled through his nose, glancing down the empty street before looking at her again. "I know you don’t know me, and I probably just scared the shit out of you by grabbing you, but I really don’t think you should be out here alone."
His concern was so convincing. So effortless.
And she believed him.
Because why wouldn’t she? To her, he was just some random stranger in the wrong place at the right time, someone who saw a terrified girl and stopped to make sure she was okay.
Not the man who had just executed someone in cold blood. Certainly not the reason she was shaking in the first place.
"I’ll walk you home?" he offered with a small, disarming smile on his lips.
She should have said no.
Every instinct she had—every book she’d ever read about murderers, crime, and the dangers of trusting strangers—told her to refuse. But fear made her irrational. The thought of being alone on this street, with the echo of that gunshot still ringing in her skull, made her stomach churn.
And this man—was warm, steady, safe. Green and grey irises that reminded you of green tea and graphite. And he smiled like everything would be fine, like it was all gonna be okay.
Maybe it would be. So she nodded.
"Okay."
“There we go. That’s it,” he encouraged. Once her breathing became less critical, Lando stood and moved to her side, wrapping his arm around her waist and supporting her weight. “Let’s get you home.”
Slowly, Lando guided her toward the nearby street, one hand lightly resting at the small of her back to keep her steady, the other carefully ensuring she didn’t stumble. Her steps were unsure, her mind too disoriented to make sense of the world around her. He could hear her breathing, still ragged and uneven. 
He didn’t rush her.
When they reached the end of his street he turned to face her, evaluating her condition. One strong breeze would probably still have her keeling over, with the way she trembled like a leaf in the wind. The silence was thick, almost suffocating. He could feel the tension in her shoulders, see the flicker of dread in her eyes every time they passed a shadowed corner, a streetlamp. But he kept his tone even, his voice low as he asked her, “I’m gonna walk you home, alright? Can you tell me where you live?”
Her voice was hoarse when she answered, barely above a whisper. "Just a few blocks... I—I just need to go home."
And so he took her there, slowly and patiently, glancing over at her every so often to make sure she wasn’t slipping too far into herself. He needed her steady. He needed her compliant.
When they arrived, he didn’t let her leave right away. With a reassuring smile, he followed her up the steps to her apartment, making sure she had steady footing as she fumbled with the keys. She dropped them —once, twice— before Lando was kind enough to take it from her shaking hands and twist the key into the lock with ease.
Inside, the apartment was small —humble, plain, barely furnished— but she didn’t seem to care about any of that. She collapsed onto the couch, still shaking. Lando didn’t waste time. He moved quickly, making her tea, setting the kettle to boil. The kitchen was modest, the place smelling faintly of fresh paint, pages and something sweet, something she probably liked to bake in better days.
She barely noticed him moving around, her eyes fixed on the floor, her hands still wringing the hem of her sleeve in a subconscious attempt to ground herself. He fumbled around with various cupboards, searching until he found whatever it is he was apparently looking for. When the tea was ready, he brought it to her, the warm mug cupped in both of her trembling hands.
“Here, drink this,” he said quietly, his eyes scanning her face, looking for any sign that she was about to crack, any slip that might reveal her thoughts, her suspicions. But she just stared down at the mug, nodding blankly. He slipped two pills into her palm as well – for the earache, he gestured.
Lando sat across from her, watching. Patient. Calculating. 
He’d done this before—comforted those who’d witnessed something they weren’t meant to. He could tell from her dazed, hollow expression that she wasn’t thinking about the death she had just seen. She was in survival mode. But what she didn’t realize was that she wasn’t just a witness. She was a potential threat. A loose end he couldn’t afford to leave untied.
“Hey,” he said after a long silence, leaning forward just slightly. “You’re not in trouble. It’s not your fault, okay? You don’t have to tell anyone about what you saw.” His voice was gentle, laced with what sounded like sincerity. "You don’t have to do anythin’, alright?"
Her eyes flicked to his, her gaze vacant, but she nodded—softly, almost imperceptibly. It was enough for him.
He didn’t leave immediately. He stayed long enough to ensure she was too shaken to remember much of anything—long enough to watch her fingers loosen around the mug as the tea worked its magic on her mind. “You’re going to be just fine, sweetheart. You can forget about tonight, get some rest. You’re alright,” he said softly, the words sweet, even reassuring. And when he finally stood, he made sure to give her one last look—just to be sure. Her eyelids began to droop with exhaustion, the adrenaline finally wearing off.
“Take care,” he whispered. And then, with a final glance, he left. Quietly, like he’d never been there in the first place.
But as he walked out into the chill of night, he knew. No one would ever hear what she'd witnessed tonight.
The final sound in the neighborhood that night is the click of the closing door of a sleek black sports car before it drives into the darkness of the night.
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notabeanie · 3 months ago
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Wow ok the lioness books get so much weirder than I remembered after she graduates knight school
For two books she’s like saving the kingdom and then in the third one she takes a gap year to go on a white saviour missionary trip and spend 8 months breaking up with her college boyfriend.
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