#it does commit several cardinal sins

[eynsavalow]

So I'm sticking with Versaille mostly because of the main performances, George Blagden especially is weirdly compelling as Louis

[cellarspider]

17/30 Inappropriate relations between hugger and face

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⛬

We return to the movie that is a menace to itself and society at large, Prometheus. 

Content warning for gore, death, orifice invasion, and, unsurprisingly,

Time to kill the sacrificial side characters! Well, at least, kill the ones that have names and distinct personalities, so that you are expected to feel somewhat bad for them. And I do. They didn’t do anything bad enough to deserve this movie.

I mean, they’re going to die because the movie turns them into morons to make this scene work, but hey. They’re still doing better than the guy who managed to insult his life partner’s father, faith, and infertility in the course of two minutes.

This part of the movie, in fact, leans fully into 80s-90s slasher tropes. The people who’re having sex are all going to have various bad things happen to them throughout the movie, with their severity and dignity depending on whether they display traits considered virtuous. But Fifield the geologist has committed the cardinal sin of hotboxing his suit’s air supply while they wait out the night in the creepy alien structure, so he shall be among the first to die. 

To make this work, they have decided to spend the night in the room right next to the decapitated alien body they refused to get near before. They do not seem to mind it now, nor do they find it worrying that the room on the other side of it is full of the black oil from the X-Files.

This is one of the other infamous scenes that everybody remembers about this movie. Millburn is not doing anything that a morally punitive slasher movie would declare worthy of death, but he is going to behave like a moron.

Remember I said ages ago that there was a cut scene where he apparently showed real reverence for the existence of non-humanoid, unintelligent alien life? That was meant to provide context for why he’d be so excited to see the world’s most genital-faced snake.

We, the audience, know that this is probably what’s become of some alien worms last seen being exposed to the Ominous Black Goo. Why didn’t it fully melt them like the Engineer at the start? Not explained! We, the audience weird enough to remember Prometheus twelve years after it came out, should also know that when a snake-like creature rears up, flares open a hood, and makes hissing noises, you should not try to get close to that critter. That is an angry critter, and it is going to do angry things to you.

Millburn is presented as the kind of herp-lover who finds a snakey critter cute, so he should know this too. He does not. That is impressively bad. The one impressively good thing about this scene is that the creature is largely a practical effect, save for in moments where it needs to move in ways a puppet can’t. At the same time, it’s unfortunately hard to tell that it’s real, due to its texture. This helps hide the transitions to CG, but it also leaves you less convinced that it’s there. Sometimes a more obvious puppet can still feel more threatening, because they are indisputably there.

Still, this scene is, despite the stupid context, effective at most of what it wants to do: creating a sudden, brutal spike of violence, with one small creature managing to act as an unstoppable force. Millburn’s arm is broken, Fifield is sprayed with acid blood as he tries to help and falls face-first into the black ooze, leaving Milburn to be killed by the creature as it breaks into his suit and crawls down his throat. It hits two of the usual beats of an Alien movie: acid blood, and overtones of sexual violation.

It made me feel squeamish, although that might have something to do with the fact that it has a weird parallel to a sci-fi comedy movie that had some unpleasant marketing back when I was a wee Spider: Evolution. Apparently, back in 2001, it was considered comedic to watch a giant mosquito crawl under the skin of a man’s thigh and imply that it bit him in the balls. Wee Spider did not agree with this assessment, and so now that’s burnt into my psyche.

The crew of the Prometheus is none the wiser, because nobody kept a watch on the two of them. The last interaction they had was Janek saying ‘hey, we detected movement in there with you, probably just a glitch tho, nbd’ before wandering off to have sex with Vickers.

I want to remind everyone that this is the movie that wants to deal with themes including but not limited to:

The creation and purpose of humanity

The ethical implications of creating human-level artificial intelligence

How religion intersects with science and crises of faith

Are we truly capable of grappling with any of the above

Genocide

This movie is an absolute mess. It is beautifully shot, and a competent shock-horror film when it feels like it, but that accounts for a fraction of its runtime, and basically none of the dialog.

It also fails at building tension for scenes like these, because it undercuts Alfred Hitchcock's principle of cinematic tension:

[Video description: An excerpt from a lecture by Alfred Hitchcock:]

"Four people are sitting around a table, talking about baseball, whatever you like. Five minutes of it, very dull. Suddenly, a bomb goes off. Blows the people to smithereens. What do the audience have? Ten seconds of shock. Now take the same scene, and tell the audience there's a bomb under that table, and will go off in five minutes. Well the whole emotion of the audience is totally different, because you've given them that information. That in five minutes time, that bomb will go off. Now the conversation about baseball becomes very vital. Because they're saying to you, "Don't be ridiculous, stop talking about baseball, there's a bomb under the table!" You've got the audience working. Now the only difference is--and I've been guilty of, in the picture Sabotage, of making this error, but I've never made it since--The bomb must never go off. Because if you do, you've worked that audience into a state, and then they'll get angry because you haven't provided them with any relief. That's almost a must. So a foot touches the bomb, somebody looks down, says "My god, there's a bomb." Out of the window, then it goes off, just in time."

[End description.]

Prometheus tells you, over and over again, that the characters are in danger. Why are they in danger? Because they deliberately put themselves there. It's like they're a bunch of ordinance disposal experts sitting around Hitchcock's table, one of them nudges the bomb with their foot, and they look down and say "Huh! That's neat. Hey, take a poke at this, guys!"

The last bit of Hitchcock's principle is moot in this type of horror film, because there are only some characters that are positioned as being worthy of real worry on the part of the audience, which Prometheus also undermines--but not entirely. We still have a ways to go before they take his advice on that, though.

Next time: 

Many posts ago, I responded to Holloway’s behavior with an invocation of Clue:

The tables shall soon turn!

⛬

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⛬

Citations for alt-text rambles

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/thats-a-penis 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooms 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/adambvary/something-terrible-has-happened-here-the-crazy-story-of-how

[bejoomi]

a soft epilogue

joomi knows something is wrong when he gets home after training and sees jinyoung's shoes by the door. he almost trips as he takes his off, too eager to find him, because jinyoung shouldn't be here. joomi would love for it to be okay for him to be here, but it's not. he has lime dorm curfew, or something.

and yet there moon jinyoung is, faceplanted on joomi's couch. he doesn't bother to move as joomi enters, aside from turning his head to face him. he looks equal parts pathetic and dead inside.

"hey," joomi says, softly, like the way he used to speak to biscuit early on in his time visiting her at the cat cafe.

speaking of biscuit – joomi has to move her off the couch so he can sit down beside jinyoung.

"i know i am committing a cardinal sin moving you right now empress biscuit, but we need dad time," he says to the cat, carefully setting her down on the ground. he knows very well that she'll jump back up on the sofa if she decides she wants to participate in the coming conversation.

when he sits down, jinyoung crawls over the remaining distance to lay his head in his lap, and joomi's fingers thread through his hair like it's instinct now.

"what happened?" he asks, voice still soft.

and jinyoung explains: dropped from project green, given the chance to stay in lime for a slim shot at another debut years in the future, or leave. he took the latter option.

"no..." joomi says, equal parts shocked and sad.

he was so close. he was so close to achieving his dream. how could lime let him get so close, just to take it away like that? how could lime not want jinyoung in their next boy group? sure, he's not the best singer – or at least he wasn't the last time joomi heard him – but he's a fantastic dancer, a better rapper than most of limes' boy groups, in joomi's opinion, and he's funny. and beautiful. how is that not everything lime could want?

"sit up for a sec, i need to hug you," joomi adds a moment later. jinyoung does, and joomi pulls him into his arms as he slumps against him. joomi holds him tight, rubs his back, and says, "i'm sorry. that's really stupid of them and you deserve better than that." he presses a soft kiss to the side of jinyoung's head.

"i don't want to let go of you," joomi mutters after several long moments like that. it's been a while, he realizes – since he's gotten to hold jinyoung like this. he feels bad for finding a small joy in jinyoung's heartbreak. i missed you, he wants to say, but he knows it's not the time.

instead, he suggests they move so they can just lay down in his bed. jinyoung just flops down on it like a beached whale, and joomi jokes about jinyoung making his bed stinky because he didn't take a shower. joomi doesn't take a shower either, though. he just changes into his pajamas and flops down right beside jinyoung.

jinyoung ends up in his arms again, head on his chest, as he mumbles sleepy complaints. joomi mostly just validates them, and runs his fingers through jinyoung's hair like always, hoping it soothes him.

eventually, joomi asks, "do you want to keep trying?" to be an idol, he means.

"i don't know," jinyoung answers. that's fair enough. it'll take time to grieve this opportunity, and the dream he was so close to achieving. joomi's heart hurts for him.

but as they fall into a comfortable silence, part of joomi wonders if he was right – if jinyoung would've been happier if he stayed in delta with him and the others. maybe they would still be happily training together now, laying on a practice room floor laughing about how bad jinyoung swears joomi still is at dancing. maybe they would debut together in a few months, and joomi would direct jinyoung on how to sing the parts of the songs he wrote specifically with him in mind. maybe they would get to fall asleep and wake up together for years, and win awards together, and everything else that comes with sharing a dream.

or maybe they wouldn't have. maybe they would've debuted in three months and broken up two months after, ruining the entire mood and vibe of the group until one of them just left and ruined everything.

he doesn't know. if he was right, he's never been so unhappy to be. if he was wrong, it still feels just as bad. none of it matters anyway, because their universe – the only one that matters – is this: jinyoung, a mere week later, telling joomi he wants to enlist in the military. jinyoung, leaving for 18 months, right when joomi was starting to catch his breath and adjust to him as a more present fixture in his life again.

jinyoung breaks the news lightheartedly: something about breaking up for 18 months so he can get his ass kicked at boot camp. it still feels a little like being gutted. it feels a lot like they're on borrowed time.

that's what it always is with them, though, isn't it? joomi never gets enough time with him, before jinyoung is moving on to the next thing, with little regard for how much it hurts him. a lot of times it isn't even jinyoung's fault, though. it's like the universe, dunking his head underwater over and over again, as soon as he gets enough air to survive the next attempted drowning.

joomi's instinct is to ask is loving me not enough to stay? he doesn't, though. he knows that's a bad thing to ask, and he doesn't want to make jinyoung's next major life change about him again. that went badly when he told him he was going to lime. he'll learn from that mistake.

he can't help but feel it, though. why can't jinyoung just stay for a while? why can't they just be happy and in love?

but he knows jinyoung wouldn't be happy. joomi would leave for training every day and jinyoung would be stuck, ruminating, reflecting on his perceived failures, with little to no direction in his life.

he wishes love was enough. he wants so badly for love to be enough.

maybe he's quiet for too long, laying beside jinyoung once again, absentmindedly tracing the lines on his palm. when he does speak, it's just to say, "you're sure?"

yeah. jinyoung is sure.

joomi rolls over so he can look at him. he wordlessly maps out the planes of his face, like jinyoung is a picture he only gets a few moments to memorize before he has to reconstruct it in some kind of stupid puzzle.

18 months. joomi already waited on jinyoung for a year at this point – what's another 18 months?

it's a lot, is what it is, especially for someone who can't even agree to officially be joomi's boyfriend. joomi could wait. he would wait, but...should he?

so he asks. "are you...going to want to be with me in 18 months? do you want me to wait for you to come back?"

"i don't know...i can't really predict the future," jinyoung replies. "you don't have to wait. but if we're both still single in 18 months, and we're still feeling it, then..."

maybe. can joomi be happy with that? he has to be, doesn't he? he's quiet for a long time, processing. it's better than no. it's honest, as jinyoung always is. it's enough.

"call me when you get out," joomi says. "if it's meant to work it will." he smiles, just barely.

he believes it, though. a lot can change in 18 months, but a lot can stay the same, too. maybe they'll meet again on the other side of all of this, love still lingering and easily reignited. or maybe the temporal nature of love has had its fill with them, and this is all they will ever be.

in retrospect, it's been a bit of a mess. but joomi wouldn't change anything, and in many ways...this is probably the perfect way for things to end, if this is the end. they will end off on a high note, parting on good terms – no bitterness. they can keep the good memories without any rancor. joomi will not be angry, or tormented, or terribly depressed – hopefully. he'll surely be heartbroken, and it will surely hurt, but it could also surely be a lot worse.

"how long do we have?" joomi asks next.

jinyoung wants to enlist as soon as possible, which is far too soon for joomi's liking. he tries to bargain with him, to wait until after his birthday in january, or to at least wait until christmas, or, or, or –

they get two weeks. joomi understands why. jinyoung can't justify being unemployed and leeching off of sooyoung for much longer than that, and finding a job that will be fine with him leaving in another month will be difficult. it's the practical thing to do.

but joomi doesn't want practical. he wants to love him forever.

but it doesn't really matter what joomi wants. this is jinyoung's choice to make, and life will go on, whether he wants it to or not.

it doesn't stop him from admitting, "i wanted you to keep me for a little longer," voice quiet, tucking his head against the crook of jinyoung's neck. then, he whispers, "a lot longer, if i'm honest."

jinyoung is the one to run his fingers through joomi's hair this time, and he breathes out an uncharacteristic apology. joomi hums in protest. he pulls away and kisses jinyoung's cheek.

"i'm happy," he says, even as his voice cracks with emotion. he can't help but laugh at himself as he continues, "i'm happy with – the time we got. i'm just not –" he pauses to collect himself, fights back the tears prickling at the back of his eyes. "i'm not r-ready..." his voice trails off. i'm not ready for this to be over. i'm not ready to say goodbye to you yet. "in two weeks...i'll be ready," he says, with a nod that is just as much for his own sake as it is jinyoung's.

two weeks. two weeks to finish out their whirlwind of a love story. it's not nearly enough time, but it never is, is it?

"i'm going to love you so hard and well for the next two weeks that you won't be able to stop thinking about me once you leave," he decides, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes to replace the tears there moments ago. sure, it's an innuendo, but he means it sincerely, too. he wants jinyoung to leave knowing how much he loves him. he'll risk it being scary or overwhelming, because this will all be over soon, anyway. what's the point of holding back now?

jinyoung laughs, though, and asks him if that's a promise.

joomi nods. "you're going to get a medical exemption because you won't be able to walk," he jokes. half jokes, really.

"oh, is that your plan?" jinyoung laughs again, raising an eyebrow.

"that's my plan." joomi grins, and pulls jinyoung in for a kiss.

this is how he wants them to go out: laughing. and with great sex, if they're lucky.

– 🎵 –

they spend the next two weeks trying to speedrun all the cliches of being in love.

it turns out they are not so good at cliches, though.

when joomi buys him roses, jinyoung mostly just laughs, and that's fine – he mostly just did it because of jinyoung joking about expecting more roses when joomi told him his ideal confession, anyway.

they try to do the candlelit dinner thing, but joomi is the one to laugh this time, because everything is so serious and feels so stuffy and they are surrounded by straight people, it just feels weird. so they drink a couple glasses of wine and skip out, ending up over-dressed at the shitty bar they ran into each other in on seollal last year. jinyoung steals french fries off joomi's plate even though he has his own again, and joomi lightheartedly smacks his hand away over and over to no avail. they just laugh, and god, joomi loves him. god, he's going to miss him so much.

they go to lotte world again. joomi says it's for jinyoung's birthday again – doesn't say that he would've taken him anyway. jinyoung isn't as overwhelmed by childish whimsy and joy as he was the first time they went together, but there's enough of it for joomi to feel warm and content again.

they ride joomi's favorite stupid balloon ride, and joomi holds jinyoung's hand as they stare at the rest of the park below them. joomi looks over at jinyoung, watching the way the light reflects off his face, and the glimmer of fascination in his eyes, and wonders if he will ever love someone like this again. probably not. definitely not. however he loves from now on will be different from this. maybe not better, or worse – just different. he somehow finds comfort in that, because he doesn't want to love anyone else like this. he doesn't want to love anyone else period, really, but he won't close himself off to it, if only because he knows jinyoung doesn't want him to.

jinyoung looks over at him, smiles, says, "what?" like he already knows the answer.

"trying to develop a photographic memory," joomi replies.

jinyoung poses like he would for a real picture. joomi laughs and kisses him, muttering, "you're beautiful," in between them.

"gay," jinyoung replies, but he kisses him again anyway, and joomi can't help but smile against his mouth.

they go to the club where jinyoung first heard joomi play music, back in the eat schmidt days, and sit at the same places at the bar as they did then – jinyoung didn't remember, but joomi does. of course joomi remembers.

"this is where it all started for me, i think," joomi tells him, after buying jinyoung a drink. jinyoung, still with all the animosity in the world for him, leaning into his personal space. if you want me to fuck you that badly...then that's too bad, he said then. joomi felt equal parts fear and thrill then, and jinyoung ensured that night that joomi would never stop thinking about him. much to his chagrin.

"don't lie," jinyoung replies. "you were obsessed with me as soon as you met me."

joomi laughs. "you wish." there was a time he genuinely hated moon jinyoung. it just wasn't for as long as he pretends it was.

ultimately it all worked out, though – if the situation they're in now can be considered working out. joomi tries not to think about it too much. (he still isn't ready.)

– 🎵 –

it's near the end of their days together, in the afterglow, joomi carding his fingers through jinyoung's damp hair, that he says it.

"joomi," jinyoung murmurs, in the way you only can following the best sex of your life.

joomi hums, indication that he's listening.

"i love you." it's simple. light. almost effortless, though he imagines jinyoung put a great deal of thought into this before his brain turned into the mush it is now.

joomi smiles, equal parts bright and tender. "i know," he teases, and kisses him, and his nose, and his cheeks. of course he knows – or he does most of the time, anyway. there's always room for doubt when you're jung joomi, but not anymore. jinyoung loves him.

"i love you too," he breathes, still smiling. he kisses him again, and adds, "thank you for not making me wait 50 years." he would've been sad if by the end of all of this, jinyoung still didn't tell him, he thinks. something in him would've felt empty for it. not now, though. now, his heart feels full enough to burst.

"figured i could express ship it, considering the circumstances," jinyoung jokes, smiling himself.

joomi kisses him again, and again, and again, all soft and tender. "i love you," he repeats, and after another kiss, adds, "so much." there's a jolt of anxiety in him, then – habitual fear that compels him to say, "sorry," eyes wide, in case it's too much.

jinyoung just grabs his face and kisses him again, harder – and says "don't think too much," when they pull away to breathe.

jinyoung knows kissing him makes joomi's brain short-circuit, surely. if he wanted to empty joomi's skull of every coherent thought for a few moments, mission accomplished.

when he recovers, joomi's first instinct is to apologize again. instead, he takes a moment to breathe. he looks at jinyoung, and the warmth in his sleepy eyes. you love me, he thinks in awe. these final days and moments are too precious to waste stuck in his own head. "okay," he agrees softly, smile on his face just as soft to match.

– 🎵 –

it's their last night together, jinyoung's freshly-shaven head resting on joomi's chest again, that it's joomi's turn to talk.

he doesn't know what to do with his hands when they aren't in jinyoung's hair, but he supposes it's time to learn. he wraps his arms around him instead, using one hand to rub jinyoung's back.

"are you still awake?" he whispers after a while.

"no," jinyoung replies, and joomi smiles.

"i...just wanted to say, before i can't anymore, that, um..." he probably should've practiced or something. maybe written what he wanted to say on his arm so he wouldn't forget anything. he knows no matter what he says now, he will think of things he wishes he could say to jinyoung after he's gone.

he'll do his best to cover it all now, though.

"even though you didn't always make it easy," he laughs lightly, "i, um...i've loved loving you. some of the happiest moments of my life...are with you now. so, i wanted to say thank you, for everything. for letting me love you, and for loving me too. i'm going to miss you so much. but even if this is the end for us, i'm going to remember this time of my life really fondly. forever, i think. so...yeah. i just...wanted you to know."

jinyoung is quiet for a long moment, then chuckles, "you talk so much." he lifts his head, though, and closes the distance between them so he can kiss him. joomi laughs softly in between kisses that are just as soft.

when jinyoung lays his head back down, joomi reaches for his hair on instinct. nothing is there, so he just gently scratches jinyoung's weird buzzcut scalp. jinyoung hums contentedly, not so unlike a cat purring, so he takes that as a sign that it feels good.

"i love you, moon jinyoung," he whispers.

"me too," he replies.

– 🎵 –

when it comes time to see jinyoung off, joomi is still not ready to say goodbye, but he's as ready as he'll ever be.

he holds onto jinyoung's hands, sure his boyfriend-or-whatever-he-is-or-was can feel how sweaty his own are.

it's fine. he still clears his throat, and tries to look at jinyoung very earnestly when he says, "jinyoung, i'm afraid it's not going to work. we have to break up. you just look too ugly with a buzzcut."

joomi has always been a bad actor, though, so when jinyoung laughs, he does too.

"that's not what you said last night," jinyoung jokes in response, and joomi laughs again, in the way you do when you're approximately two seconds away from bawling like a little baby.

joomi kisses him, quickly, one last time, though his hands linger on his face. he stares at him for a few long moments, trying to memorize him again.

he decides, then, that he doesn't have to. 18 months is not that long. he knows he'll see him again when he returns, if only because he can hear sooyoung sniffling beside him and joomi couldn't possibly leave her alone while jinyoung is away. jinyoung will definitely come back for his sister, even if he doesn't come back for joomi.

"okay," he says, with a decisive nod. he lets his hands fall back to his sides. "do your best. don't get kicked out. and call me when you're done. i mean it, okay?"

jinyoung grins – the smile where his eyes turn into perfect little crescents – and nods, and joomi can't help the way his heart clenches anyway.

joomi pulls him into a hug one last time, but lets sooyoung get the final hug and final words.

when it's time for jinyoung to go – to really go – joomi salutes him in farewell, just for fun.

as he walks away, joomi reaches his hand out for sooyoung, who is quick to grab it. he squeezes her hand.

18 months isn't that long. he could wait. he would wait, but he won't try to. if new love comes for him between now and jinyoung's return, he'll try to open his heart and mind to it, because sure, love is temporary – but it might be worth it. it was with jinyoung, in the end.

or maybe 18 months will pass at lightning speed, jinyoung will call him, and they'll fall right back into each other's arms like nothing has changed. maybe distance will make the heart grow fonder, as they say.

joomi doesn't know. jinyoung was right – they can't predict the future. but he realizes, with relief, that he's excited to see what theirs looks like.

[aravas-writing]

Because I feel a little better and need it out of my system:

A funnyman's recap of Blue Archive

Volume 1 Chapter 2

V1 is not that long, especially in comparison to the others. But hey, it was just the first volume, after all.

So, we got Hoshino resigning and everyone is bummed out about it. Sensei finds her and asks her about that.

She tells him the story of the student council president before her at Abydos, Yume. Despite all the bullshit, she tried her best and was always smiling.

Yume...isn't around anymore. As we find out later, Hoshino found her dead body between the dunes. It's Yume's riot shield she is using. To the last, Yume believed that Abydos could be saved while Hoshino grew more and more cynical about it.

The player, through a recap done by Ako and Hina, learns that Hoshino used to be a troublemaker, a firebrand. How she mellowed out so much is a mystery to them

Hoshino admits that Sensei is the first adult she ever trusted. How she didn't think they would be of any use when they first came to Abydos, because adults were useless to her, but Sensei has grown on her.

She fakes returning, but clears her position for good once Kaiser starts twisting her arm. They get really asshole about it, too, by randomly jacking up the interest rate because Abydos didn't want their deal.

This, Hoshino does end up striking a deal, only to get faked out and imprisoned, to be used in some experiment. Though not by Kaiser, but by someone else.

Black Suit

Member of shadow organisation "Gematria"

Considers Sensei an equal, yet enigmatic individual

Is the first person that made me go "what the FUCK is going on behind the scenes?!"

Oddly affable, graceful even in defeat

Gets jokingly shipped with Sensei

It is through Sensei's first talk to him, in regards to Kaiser's fuck shit and Hoshinos kidnapping, that Sensei shows his adult card. A powerful item that saps Sensei's life force for immense power

It's just about the dopest description I've heard so far for a fucking credit card you use to roll the gacha

Anyway, Black suit is a fair sport and tells Sensei that Kaiser wants Abydos because of a treasure in the desert. Gematria fed them that info, so now they seek it intensely and at great cost.

Naturally, Hoshino is heavily guarded and Sensei's options are limited. So, they organise an assault with the four remaining girls and calls for aid from a certain girl.

You see, I committed a cardinal sin last time. I omitted a severe detail due to forgetfulness. You see, as the crew was scouting out Kaiser back in chapter 1 for a bank heist, they encountered someone running through the black market district. Someone very crucial to this part of the story and someone incredibly important to the further story.

Ajitani Hifumi

Babbi

Look at her

Adorable

She considers herself a average girl

Collects merchandise from the kids show "Peroro Friends"

Peroro superfan, that freaky chicken is even her ex skill

Gets roped into minor shenanigans, bonds with Abydos girls

Comes in clutch with a paper bag on her head, calling herself "Faust of the Masked Swimsuit Gang"

Modified Enfield Assault Rifle "My Necessity"

Hifumi is the one Sensei contacts for help, as she has a surprising connection to one of the higher-ups at her school. Said bigwig tells Sensei in no uncertain terms that they intend to cash in on the favour they owe Trinity with this.

And then they rain down artillery on Kaiser positions.

Brilliance.

Problem Silver also gets involved, with Haruka giggling menacingly before blowing through enemy ranks and Mutsuki going feral over people annoying "glasses girl" (Ayane)

Look at these pics from the summer event. Ayane is very adorable, so I can understand Mutsuki fully.

Hoshino gets freed, hope against hope, and she realises that Abydos is her home and will remain her home. Simply because those dearest to her are all there, waiting for her.

All is well that ends well, as Kaiser takes a hit, makes concessions to Abydos and the head of the Loans department flees in disgrace as the Media has a field day with all the info that got leaked.

Still, something great and terrible is on the horizon already...

[rainydawgradioblog]

A Treatise on Clapping Between Movements

It shouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone that my social media feed is filled with a fair amount of classical music-related fodder. While scrolling, I’ve come across numerous videos of people complaining about clapping between movements, and it got me thinking about concert hall etiquette and the modern era. Gen Z social media pretentiousness aside, these centuries-old concert hall traditions present barriers to those trying to get into classical music, and I sense people have a reluctance to enter a world that was once restricted to the bourgeoisie. But times are changing, and as such, I wanted to write about one of those points of etiquette that has been on my mind since seeing Ravel’s Piano Concerto in G at the Seattle Symphony. So, let’s discuss why the hell we can’t clap between movements. 

I start this treatise with an anecdote. In my freshman year of college, I was thoroughly in love with classical music, but I was still what I would consider a newbie to the concert hall scene. I went to see Grieg’s piano concerto performed by Jan Lisiecki, and it was what I would describe as a mind-blowing experience. The first movement rocked my world, so it made perfect sense to clap uproariously once it ended. However, I soon noticed that it was only me and the other uninitiated few who were clapping, and I even felt a glare coming from a man on my right. A flush lept to my cheeks, and I felt that I had just committed some serious symphony sin. Later, my mom (in her infinite wisdom) explained to me that you’re not supposed to clap between movements. From that point forward, I decided I would follow concert etiquette to a T (so as to exude my high-brow, worldly nature). In following concerts, I felt a sense of cultured superiority when I (in my infinite wisdom) didn’t clap between movements, unlike the other clapping plebeians. 

I will now disclaim that I don’t actually think that those who clap between movements are plebeians, but for a long time, I did hold a strong conviction that clapping should be held until the end of a work. I’ve heard several pieces where clapping interrupts the continuity between movements, and I felt it would be better when you could sit in the intended silence. I held to this conviction even tighter when I discovered that Mendelssohn and Schumann had a distaste for applause before the conclusion of a multi-movement work. If these beloved composers didn’t want me to clap, what better reason for me to keep my hands glued to my lap? However, I soon began to loosen my grip on this etiquette as I realized it was doing nothing to encourage newcomers to support the art that I so dearly love. My judgment upon those who clap willy-nilly waned, but I myself continued to clap only at the end, until recently.

Pianist Alexandra Dariescu had her Seattle Symphony debut with her performance of Maurice Ravel’s Piano Concerto in G. Prior to this performance, I had never particularly enjoyed this concerto, as I found it a bit quirky for my tastes. However, Dariescu and the SSO absolutely brought it to life, so much so that I found myself breaking one of my cardinal rules of concert etiquette. At the explosive end of the first movement, it felt like my hands were attached to magnets oscillating between like and unlike poles, and before I knew it, I was clapping in between movements. Since then, I have been listening to recordings of this concerto with renewed consideration and reevaluating my strictness on clapping etiquette. This is mind-expanding stuff. 

In the end, I believe the Seattle Symphony does a great job of making the concert hall a more inviting place. There are no dress codes, and they don’t foster a culture of turning up your nose at those who are uninitiated in the classical sphere. As far as I’m concerned, you can clap whenever the music has paused, and it feels appropriate to do so.  While I will probably continue to wear nice dresses and withhold my applause for the end, I want to make it known that at Benaroya Hall, there is a general culture of coming as you are. I won’t lie to you and say that there isn’t the occasional 70-year-old who will shoot a look for clapping out of turn, but we young people are the new generation of art patrons, and the more we attend, the more things change. I don’t think there is anything inherently elitist about the enjoyment of classical music, and it is part of my mission to demystify the traditions that can seem like barriers to entry. I love this music and this environment so dearly that I will continue to do what’s in my power to encourage one and all to come and try it out.

That’s all for now, xoxo, your classical correspondent,

Addie

[stareaterreads]

Books I Disliked 2024

I’ve noticed I come off rather generous with my 3rd and 4th stars, and Ioften get so excited just sharing books that it can sometimes be difficult to tell which books I find super good and which less so out of those 3 and 4 star ratings. To be honest, I find that I’ve been able to pick books closer to my preferences and tastes, which keeps me with books I enjoy more often than not.

Fourth Wing and Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

⭐⭐

We begin with the only half-exception. I both love and equally hate these two books. There’s been enough dialogue arguing for both sides, so I’ll keep this short.

I only love these books because I enjoy how bad they are. Violet does not deserve the nickname Violence and does nothing to convince me otherwise throughout the books. There’s not a single scene that really proves to me she is worthy of being the main character - there are legitimately several scenes she should have died but sooomeone else always has to come to the rescue (and I’m glad this gets explained in Iron Flame, but I’m still angry about it).

Love, Lies, and Cherry Pie by Jackie Lau

⭐⭐

To begin - it’s a fake dating romance, a trope I already don’t care for. As much as I enjoyed the nods toward Asian-American culture and Asian-American family dynamics, Emily’s mom feels so in-your-face in the plot that the book committed the cardinal sin of becoming annoying (which is always an instant turn-off for me for a book). I like how realistic Emily’s struggles with writing felt, but I couldn’t stand being in the escapism of reading this cute romance before being blasted out of nowhere with a reminder of the horrible state of our world before randomly dropping back in at an awkward angle. The whole vibe just would get totally ruined out of nowhere and try to find a way back to the main story.

While I continued to drag my feet through the book, I did find aspects of their developing romance to be pretty cute (the cat is my favorite part). I was very excited to get to the spicy parts of this romance until- every sex scene was like two short paragraphs long. It wasn’t a ‘fade-to-black’ situation either, it just felt one-and-done, like the metaphorical camera pans away and you hear some sounds and then it comes back and they’re done, but the entire time, the camera was in the room. I would have preferred if the book were totally absent of these sex scenes, because this was the most disappointing part of it.

City of Bones by Martha Wells

⭐⭐

I’m aware this one is very much a hot take. In short, I was very spoiled by the Murderbot Diaries. I could definitely see the inspiration drawn in the characters of this book and how they led to Wells writing the infamous Murderbot and some of the loveable cast.

While I was ready for returning to a more classic form of fantasy for this book, I found it very difficult to understand a lot of the architecture. I already am on the lighter end of the apple spectrum of visualization, but I found the cryptic style of writing about lore very hard to follow that I struggled my way through every portion of the book and left it feeling like I didn’t really understand the plot at all.

The ending between the characters - while realistic for their characters - felt like a lackluster pay off to the setup between the two. Also, about the characters, I really love Constans - he’s a hoot. I liked Sagai’s relationship to Khat, and the found family story they both share. I also admire Elen’s arc throughout the novel, which was a fantastic element. The characters are amazing, which I have seen is a constant for Wells and is the core of why I love the cast of characters with Murderbot, but everything else in the book felt very slow and cryptic to me.

So Thirsty by Rachel Harrison

⭐⭐

I absolutely adored Such Sharp Teeth, also by Rachel Harrison. It is my go-to cozy horror recommendation, so imagine my excitement to see that following up that marvelous werewolf novel was a sweet vampire novel, too! I was excited to see what Harrison would provide in this book as well as what drama would go down. Unfortunately, this book disappointed me in this excitement.

The major aspect I appreciated and will recommend to others is that the easy readability, relatable character attitudes, and the somewhat simplistic plotline makes this a perfect book for people who are starting to get into horror. The gore, the action, and the suspense within this book is easy to follow and never reaches a point of too much, making it easy to begin with.

My biggest complaint about this book is that the vampires feel like Vampirism Lite - it feels like they just drink blood and claim to live a super long time, which is only one step away from the vampires at the Halloween LARP party near me (the only difference is the blood is actually Kool-Aid). Sure, they have some healing, they have a little extra strength, but they feel like wimps in the whole of vampire fiction, to me. Even the Cullens had super speed and glittered in sunlight (especially glittering in sunlight). Because of this Lite version, the vampirism thing never felt truly threatening to me throughout the novel.

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods by Molly X. Chang

⭐

Alas, we arrive at the only one-star book I have read this year. When I received this ARC, I was so excited for the concept and the ideas of the Wuxia style fantasy versus Ancient Roman-based sci-fi. It sounded like such a fantastic setting for some epic metaphors and parallels to real life, particularly beginning with the Opium War-inspired period the book begins in. I have now told you the only positives I found in this book, and it’s all in the anticipation.

I vehemently disliked this book. I’m sure this book was not aimed to say anything about history, but it’s setting was so perfectly set up to do just that that I cannot help but be so incredibly upset that it turns out the destined character to end the colonization and dehumanization of her own country goes and throws herself at the man continuing to cause it all. The last page of the book made me - for the first time ever - want to violently throw the book across the room (but my walls don’t deserve that). I thought some people had been dramatic at first when I saw them calling this a ‘colonizer romance’, but I found that was absolutely accurate.

I should have DNF’d this book, but I continued and let it become a hate read. The romance was badly executed (I sense ZERO chemistry and 100% red flags), the protagonist is not a hero as much as it feels she’s sort of portrayed to be, her power feels very overpowered and the misuse of it does not ever seem to go punished, and I had to check the full release copy to see if the last page ends as bad as it does. Ruying is not a hero, not a strong female main character, and not a likeable character. Ruying and Antony’s relationship should not be romanticized.

I give applause to Chang for the creative and amazing world she has created in this book, but I personally could find no appeal in this book otherwise. I’m aware some people seem to enjoy the whole “morally gray” (heavy heavy quotes on gray for this one) romance and whatnot, but colonization is too heavy of a topic to be anywhere near romanticization without actual substance to the analogies and parallels present.

Now, these are all my least favorite books of this year, but these are not necessarily my least favorites of all time (otherwise, Lord of the Flies would be somewhere in there). While I disliked each of these, I will not that I still did finish all of these books (that isn’t to say a DNF means the book is inherently worse/bad at all). I spent time finishing these books and I do believe there are people who would adore these books. After all, Fourth Wing is incredibly popular.

Conclusion

Despite disliking some of these books, I wouldn’t shy away from reading another book in the series or from that author. I indeed plan to continue reading from Martha Wells and Rachel Harrison (I’ll eventually get to Witchking and Black Sheep). I’ve already reserved a copy of Onyx Storm and have that nice stenciled edged copy of Fourth Wing (as much as I hate Violet). I do enjoy discussing my dislikes, and I know this can serve as a guiding point for a lot of readers of the blog in the future. Honestly, it’ll also be very fun coming back to this post and seeing if my taste in books changes!

In any case, thank you for reading and supporting this blog! A reminder to you, dear reader, that in this fantastical, peculiar universe, you matter to me. Feel free to come back to this little back alley of the internet anytime for a good read or a nice book rec. Until next time, I’ll be reading!

If you’re interested in any of these books for whatever reason, buy it from one of these links here to support independent bookstores! Bookshop.org - Libro.fm - or from your local bookstore, which you can find on Indie Bound!

[the-almighty-gob-john-langley]

It's Easter Weekend and I'm Stuck on a Crossword Clue. 2 Across - Q. Where Was Jesus Nailed?

It's a Jesus Weekend, and in my role as the ‘Almighty Gob’ I preach comments in typical form from the pulpit of satire. Amen.

Does anyone know what was actually good about Friday? Severe hailstones, perhaps? Our NHS still in dire straits, people continuing to use food banks, and migration sorted?

Never mind, it's all good on Good Friday because Jesus died for us, apparently, and this alone makes all the hardship and misery we now face in the world worthwhile. Knowing what we all know now it should come as no great surprise he was nailed to a cross at that time for what would become arguably some of the greatest crimes against humanity by humanity.

As someone who was brought up as a Roman Catholic, you may well be surprised to read such a bold statement from me. No doubt there will be those who deem me as blasphemous, even a heretic committing the most egregious of cardinal sins, and for this, I should be cast into the fires of hell forever.

To this very day, I still struggle to get my head around the fact that some people in the world choose to believe what's probably one of the best human-control fairy stories ever written. Let alone places called heaven and hell.

Anyway, here we are. It's Easter weekend and I'm stuck on a crossword clue. 2 across - Q. Where was Jesus nailed? This might take a while as it's several years since I last attended church and nearly all memories of religion have since faded. I may well have to put it down to another of the remaining unanswered anomalies. Such as how an ethereal being managed to have a son in real life; so the story goes, through a virgin woman. As stated (among a great many other things) in my book 'The Sexual Philanthropist' such an event nowadays would be a complete sellout at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

Better still, it would take one heck of an illusionist to put on a show where he was nailed to a cross, died, and then emerged within a few days full of life and firing on all cylinders as if nothing happened. Pretty damn impressive even by Netflix programme audience popularity. Beat that, Harry and Meghan.

So, what's changed since the Romans vacated Jesus’ territory back in the day? Not a lot really, as two-thousand years or so later quite a few issues related to religion lead the way where conflict is concerned. Such as the location of holy sites and acrimonious divorce-worthy narratives which totally screw the potential for any peace between Islam and Judaism. On one side of the religious divorce battle, extreme Zionists make protestations regarding how the Jewish state should be, while their Islamist co-respondents have their own version of liberating all that's holy to the Zionists, and preach hatred and violence as a means of winning the divorce battle by use of terrorism - and for which they are now proscribed as a terrorist organisation.

All of which brings me on to a growing bunch of airheads who deserve to have their colons cleansed using bleach and wire wool, as it's entirely pointless going any further up their bodies to their heads because compared to the more sane and rational of people in the world, these airheads have spaces in their brains that any alleged signs of previous rationality and commonsense appear to have vacated long ago - if ever there in the first place.

These are the pro-Palestine gormless idiots who espouse the boycott of Israeli goods and services and make two short planks look like the most sophisticated computer technology in the world while using their Apple and Android phones to touch base with other idiots of the same ilk and do their best to influence more normal people into not buying Israeli goods and services, they do so completely oblivious to the fact that the phones they are using include technology developed by Israeli companies. Will these pillocks give up their phones in protest though? Somehow I think not. Oh, and don't use Windows apps either folks. Guess why?

Any chance these lunatics may have a firewall installed on their computers? Take a guess at this too. If your mental capacity has provided you with the means to follow so far and you are not a boycott numpty, it shouldn't take long.

I bet many of them also drive cars, provided they could afford one in the first place. Well, it's more bad news, I'm afraid. It looks like webuyanycar.com and auction sites will be busy in future when the idiots put their cars up for sale because the navigation system was more than likely based on Israeli tech. Oh, and speaking of transport, I wonder how many will cancel their holiday flights abroad this year, since our airport security systems are packed with Israeli technology.

And before I forget. Should any of them, their relatives and friends have cancer they may as well go home, take shit loads of morphine and die in bed. Why? Because it's more than likely cancer treatments offered by the NHS will have been invented in Israel. Equally, anyone who has a stent implanted should get it removed with immediate effect as a boycott protest against Israel, which, by a strange coincidence also invented it.

Ever heard of a 'SniffPhone'? Probably not, but it's a piece of medical equipment that can actually 'sniff out' diseases. It works like a breathalyser and detects cancer of the gastric and lung varieties, as well as Parkinsons, dementia, MS and many other illnesses. What about the 'Pillcam', heard of this? Who'd have guessed it was an Israeli invention in the shape of a minicam that takes photos of the intestinal tract?

Still, as long as the boycott idiots remain all self-satisfied and happily virtue-signalling in blissful ignorance, why should they let facts get in the way of personal feelings and emotional incontinence, huh? Anyway, whatever else these lunatics do, they should not take my sardonic and non-medically trained advice. While remembering at all times that any such attempt at shortening their lives should not be conducted without first seeking the advice of a medically qualified practitioner, and preferably one outside the jurisdiction of Geneva.

With all that said, I now find myself back where I began, whenever that was two thousand or so years ago, and what was good about Friday, again?

[bereft-of-frogs]

In the light of morning, I am feeling a little like the finale was a let down. Mostly because I felt like they built Cold Harbor up way too much, it did not need to be dragged out like that. And it did commit the cardinal sin of jettisoning half the plot for the sake of a romantic relationship.

I just wish we had got some movement on what was going on with Irving. What was up with Ricken and his book. What was up with Burt and lying about how long he worked at Lumon. What was up with Reghabi. Ok the flip side, we absolutely did not need the Cobel reveal this early because it did absolutely nothing for the ending of the season. It just feels like a lot was set up and then dropped. Which I know there’s almost certainly a third season coming, this is apple’s flagship, but I wish they’d have at least checked in on the other plots, and held the Cobel episode off until it was more relevant.

Maybe this is just me tho, I’ve always been slightly more interested in the conspiracy plot. I want Irving’s backstory!!! Why does he remember the exports hall??? Why was he making notes on all the severed employees?? Who was he calling on the pay phone?? I really hope he is a more central character next season

ahead of the Severance finale, there are two questions I think I need answered before I start getting concerned about the cohesion of the mystery solve:

1. Who was Irving calling on the pay phone? I need something. Just a bigger hint at the identity. Because otherwise I'm slightly concerned about Irving's storyline. I kind of wish they had expanded on it more, not even necessarily the backstory, but even the current events with Burt. We went from a very awkward, ominous dinner to 'oh shit you broke into my house' to 'I've never been loved like this before' and I have so many questions. I'd like to see at least a tiny bit more from Irving and I think at least having the answer to who he was calling will set my concerns about his storyline to rest.

2. What the fuck is Cold Harbor? Someone needs to explicitly say, out loud, what the fuck Cold Harbor is because there have just been one too many times people have just said '...Coooold Harrrrboorrrrrrr' in ominous tones and then stared into the middle distance without answering anything. Cobel doing it in the last episode was egregious.

Considering the finale is quite long, I'm keeping faith we'll get some answers. I was going to go to a screening at a local bar but they're not starting it until 11PM??!?!?! And with the long episode, I simply cannot. I am 34. I have work in the morning. Looked fun, but I simply Cannot.

[queermediastudies]

Family Porn Night: A Movie Review

As the opening titles come on screen, we hear but don’t see the sound of water sloshing in a bucket, being wrung out of a rag, heavy breathing, scrubbing. The titles fade and we see a woman, on her hands and knees, cleaning the floor of what we eventually learn is the British Museum. We hear footsteps, the sharp bark of a man saying, “Move!” as he and several others, carrying a fossil on a stretcher, tramp across the floor she has just cleaned. On the fossil we see a handwritten tag that reads “Sea Lizard found by Miss Mary Anning Lyme Regis.” The man in charge harrumphs, pulls the tag off, and replaces it with a tag that says “ICHTHYOSAURUS LYME REGIS Presented by H. Hoste Henley Esquire.” He has written Mary Anning out of history. 

Ammonite is writer/director Francis Lee’s attempt to write Mary Anning, and queerness, back into the world of 1840s Britain. The plot is a simple romantic drama with an enigmatic ending. Simply put, Mary Anning falls in love with Charlotte Murchison but chooses to remain alone rather than give up her career by moving with Charlotte to London. The complex beauty of the movie comes from Lee’s subversion of audience expectations as well as some traditional film-making procedures. But how well he succeeded is still up for debate. The movie flopped at the box office, grossing under $1,000,000 world wide, failing to recoup the $3,000,000 distribution rights, let alone the $13.4 million in production costs. Carson Timar of “Clapper” wrote, “This is a bland and empty feature that feels like an ancient fossil void of any passion or substantial emotion” (Timar, 2020). With movie darling Kate Winslet in the lead and rising-star Saoirse Ronan playing opposite her, the lackluster reception is surprising. Does Ammonite, like Moonlight, prove that queer films need to be sexless to be successful (Lodge, 2017), or can we ascribe Ammonite’s box office bomb to other causes? I believe the erotic scenes are only part of the answer. While I disagree with the Rotten Tomatoes reviewer who said, “Simply out [sic], Ammonite commits that cardinal sin of being truly boring” (Andrew L., Ammonite, 2022), the slow pace likely contributed to Ammonite’s poor, reception sealing Ammonite’s fate as a “perfectly respectable, eminently professional slice of prestige arthouse” (Clarke, 2021) doomed to accrue financial losses. The other variable is not lesbian eroticism per se but rather lesbian eroticism scripted by women for the female gaze. In other words, two of the components that Lee uses to queer cinema are the very things that make it a failure in the public sphere.

In Ways of Seeing (1972), John Berger writes, “Seeing comes before words…It is seeing which establishes our place in the surrounding world” (p. 7). Lee builds Mary Anning’s rocky world slowly, introducing the audience to her visually before any words are spoken. Although this is the well-trodden territory of a period romance, this is a romance that reimagines history. Mary Anning was a real person from Lyme Regis, UK, who sold fossils (called ‘relics’ in the movie) to the British Museum beginning at age 11. But there is no evidence of her having a love interest, gay or otherwise. Some of Anning’s descendants have questioned Lee’s manipulation of her story, which highlights the problems with “outing,” or ascribing queerness to public figures. Posthumously attributing identities to people may be a tempting way to queer the past by showing “the world that many widely admired and respected men and women are gay” (Duggan, 2006, p. 153), but it can be problematic to apply a modern understanding of queerness to people who cannot confirm or deny those identities and who may or may not have accepted our definitions. In other words, even if Anning had engaged in romantic liaisons with other women, she may not have seen those relationships as queer, either in the sense of their being gay or out of the ordinary. Lee attempts to “honor the complexity of [Anning’s] differences” (Duggan, 1991, p. 155) by building a rich and textured world that includes multiple ways of forming relationships. Even while I acknowledge that “outing” Anning may be problematic, I still find joy in the sapphic world Lee imagines.

Lee’s femme-centered world doesn’t limit gender expression. Mary is a complex character, outwardly mirroring the coldness of her Lyme Regis beach but with a depth of feeling we catch in glimpses, most often through Winslet’s uncanny ability to convey emotion without speaking. Mary plays with gender performance, but retains her essential womanness, subverting early Hollywood’s “gender-inversion stereotype” (Bernshoff & Griffin, 2004, p. 7). She smokes and swears frequently, has dirty fingernails and armpit hair (appropriate for the time but not for Hollywood). When engaged to take care of Charlotte, who has “melancholia,” Mary says, “There looks to be fuck all wrong with you to me” (0:28:30). She genuinely loves finding and cleaning fossils. When Charlotte, who has recently lost a baby, asks Mary if she has children, Mary replies, “I have my work. I don’t need children as well” (00:51:38). 

As the movie progresses, Lee reveals Mary’s tender (feminine) side, showing her caring for a sick Charlotte and, at one point, wearing a dress and perfume to attend a recital with Charlotte. After Charlotte returns to London, Mary receives a letter from her. Before opening it, Mary lifts it to her nose hoping to catch the perfume Charlotte wore.

Charlotte originally acts as a more traditionally feminine counterpoint to Mary’s masculinity. She wears bonnets and bows, black to show mourning, and delicate heeled shoes. She’s weak and pale from what her husband calls “melancholia” but which could more honestly be called depression, either from the loss of a baby or the pressure of passing as heterosexual. Her angst doesn’t last long. Within a few scenes, Charlotte sets aside her expensive clothing for rugged boots to better accompany Mary on her morning fossil huts. Color comes back into her cheeks, she laughs more frequently, and she fully engages in Mary's work. Charlotte’s awakening coincides with her temporary move from London to Lyme Regis while Mary simply is regardless of her location. This juxtaposition has been noted by Karl Schoonover and Rosalind Galt in Queer Cinema in the World (2016), “Some people have to travel to express their sexuality and/or gender, and others stay home” (p. 77). 

Lee contrasts elements in order to show how the women grow closer while retaining their core identity. While lying in bed together, Charlotte says, “Say it again.” Mary then recites a limerick:

There was a young woman named Sally

Who loved the occasional dally.

She sat on the lap

Of a well-endowed chap

And she said, ‘Oh, you’re right up my alley” (1:15:45).

Charlotte smiles, having let go of some of her feminine-coded sensibilities, while Mary, nude and vulnerable, curls trustingly next to her. 

In a similar contrasting scene, Mary wades into the white-cap waves, turns, and waits for Charlotte to join her. Charlotte slowly walks out, frightened. She reaches Mary, who grabs her around the waist and smiles. Charlotte clings to her, still afraid, but feeling safe in Mary’s arms. This scene is the only time we see Mary laugh, and her joy mirrors the bright sun and warm filter unusual in this movie. Here, Mary both protects and pushes Charlotte, never demanding Charlotte change but offering help if Charlotte chooses to take it.

Two intimate scenes in the movie show just how transformative Lee’s film-making is.  Rather than hire an intimacy choreographer, Lee, Winslet, and Ronan scripted each sex scene by themselves, relying on open communication and the trust they had in each other. These aren’t the “throw her up against the wall with no foreplay” scenes so common in heterosexual sex scenes, nor are they the “soapy shower and giggling college girls” lesbian scenes meant for the male gaze. Instead, Ammonite’s “staging of sexuality, gendered embodiment, and nonheteronormative sex” (Schoonover & Galt, 2016, p. 11) successfully disrupt heteronormative ideas about how sex happens, who enjoys sex, and how they enjoy it. 

“Don’t take no for an answer,” seems to be the mantra in many erotic heterosexual scenes, but the first erotic scene in Ammonite queers cinema by pausing the action mid-point. After Charlotte kisses her, Mary kneels in front of Charlotte. Before going further, she waits, staring up at Charlotte until Charlotte raises her own skirts in enthusiastic consent. 

The final erotic scene queers cinema by subverting audience expectations. The night before Charlotte is to return to London, they lovingly caress each other’s faces. Noses touching, they gently kiss. As the scene progresses, they each guide the other’s hand, sometimes moving the hand to their own pudendum and sometimes away. Lee uses close camera angles, focusing on how the women’s bodies move together. The camera stays on each woman’s face as she climaxes. These are women showing each other how they want to be touched. Each woman confidently directs the actions of the other while asserting her own right to pleasure.

Both erotic scenes are enigmas in the movie industry: female pleasure for a female gaze. Per Schoonover & Galt, cinema is “an apparatus of desire, endlessly reconstituting what Jacqueline Rose called sexuality in the field of vision” (2016, p. 11). Eroticism scripted by women, focusing on how women experience pleasure, queers film in a uniquely feminist way; it uses “the potential of the erotic to remake the cinematic desire machine” (Schoonover & Galt, 2016, p. 11) reflecting the sapphic world Lee has created. I argue that the initial sex scene with a focus on enthusiastic consent and cunnilingus is a “counterpublic logic of visibility” that queers media by “extending representation beyond mainstream fantasies about white femme lesbians” which is “achieved in and through sex acts” (Schoonover & Galt, 2016, p. 12). Both erotic scenes, as well as other hinted-at but not seen moments, occur in Mary's home or on Mary's beach, "locating lesbian desire in a domestic setting and turning to familial intimacies as a place where women might find fulfillment beyond the strictures of marriage" (Schoonover & Galt, 2016, p. 19). Once the women are in London, in Charlotte's male-owned home, the intimacy (physical and emotional) falters and dies.

Gender expansiveness and eager consent are not the only way Lee queers cinema. We learn that Mary had a relationship with another woman in her town, Elizabeth Philpot (played by Fiona Shaw), which ended when Mary’s father died. Elizabeth acts as an oracle, guiding Mary in her relationship with Charlotte and foreshadowing the end of that same relationship. When Mary’s mother, Molly (played by Gemma Jones), dies, Elizabeth visits Mary and says, speaking of their past romance, “I wasn’t sure I could live up to you. Or your expectations of me…You seemed to do everything you could to be distant…It seems your Mrs. Murchison has been able to unlock something in you I couldn’t…” (1:34:16). Here, Elizabeth references the softness Lee showed in the limerick and beach scenes. It’s also vital to note that neither woman seems to have faced ridicule because of their relationship, nor do they seem to have kept it particularly quiet. I appreciate seeing a lesbian relationship that doesn’t double as a morality play. 

Mary follows Elizabeth’s advice and accepts an invitation to visit Charlotte in London. From this point on, Lee relies more heavily on language and sound to convey how small and out-of-place Mary is. This sudden cinematic shift undermines the queer worlding I found so lovely in the first two-thirds of the movie.

At London port, bodies (all of them male except hers) are in constant motion. They press around her while they yell to and at each other. We’ve lost the cool tones of Lyme and found harsh sunlight. Lee’s feminism is not subtle. If "(queer) film theory is always a feminist project" (Schoonover & Galt, 2016, p. 11), Lee hits the brief, but he does so with a sledgehammer. 

At Charlotte’s house, Mary opens a curio cabinet containing fossils she helped Roderick Murchison (played by James McArdle) find. The tag on one of the fossils reads, “Cornu Ammonis. Dorset Coast. Miss Mary Anning.” Taking it out, Mary notices the last line has been pasted on top of the original line. Pulling it back, Mary reads, “Mr. Murchison Esq.” Lee doesn’t just allude to his correction of the historical record, he screams it.

The breakup scene between the two women is similarly heavy-handed. Charlotte shows Mary to a room she has decorated for her “so we can be together always.” Winslet does an excellent job conveying a parade of emotions, but the ensuing dialogue lacks finesse and undermines the acting prowess of both Winslet and Ronan. 

Mary doesn’t directly answer Charlotte, instead saying, “I really shouldn’t…I wanted to see my relic in the British Museum today….”

When Charlotte expresses dismay and repeats her offer to provide Mary with a new home, Mary says, “You presumed I’d just be fitted into your life here, like one of my relics in your fine glass case…Will you label me, too?” (1:47:45). Charlotte insists, “I want this to be different. Our different…I don’t want to go back to the life I had before you” (1:48:07). The unnatural, forced dialogue breaks Lee's “show, don’t tell” rule and makes it hard to access the emotion Lee wants us to feel. 

Mary rushes out of the house, and we next see her in front of her ‘relic’ at the British Museum. She notices the tag, the first time she’s seen it, and, looking up, sees Charlotte gazing at her across the glass-encased fossil. The camera pans out in one of the few long-shots of the film and we see the women, faces covered by bonnets, caged fossil in the middle. Men in top hats circulate around them. 

As if afraid that he wasn’t clear enough, in the last scene Lee reminds the viewer of his intentions. Mary walks through a portrait gallery showing the men who helped create and run the British Museum. The very last image is Mary, facing back toward the gallery, framed.

It isn’t just the shift to London or the sudden heavy-handed cinematography that jars the viewer. The final 20 minutes of the film tackles class issues but ignores broader themes of imperialism and racism. 

Classism is seen best in Mary’s interactions with Charlotte’s housekeeper. When the housekeeper answers Mary’s knock, she assumes from Mary’s rough clothing that she’s a hired worker. The housekeeper says, “Tradesman’s entrance is around the side. Go all the way back” (1:41:29). After explaining who she is, Mary is shown to the drawing room and Charlotte greets her with a passionate kiss. Mary glances at the housekeeper, but Charlotte says, “Oh, that’s just the maid,”(1:44:23) at which point the housekeeper side-eyes the women and shuts the drawing room door. Class bias goes unchallenged by any of the characters even in light of Charlotte’s relationship with poor, rural, crass Mary. Additionally, there are no Black, Indian, or Egyptian people. At the height of British imperialism, there should be several non-white people, especially once the action moves to London. 

Ammonite does not employ “an anti-imperialist stance that de-privileges the Western queer film canon” (Schoonover & Galt, 2016, p. 15) in part because it fails to address Britain’s imperialism and in part because it, too, uses Western imperialist structures to (unsuccessfully) promote itself. Originally available only in theaters and on Amazon, viewers can now access it through other streaming services such as Hulu and Vudu. All subscription based. All part of the cinema industrial complex. 

I enjoyed Ammonite. At least, I enjoyed it the second time. The first time, thinking it would be similar to the 2019 movie Wild Nights With Emily, I convinced my husband and my two daughters, aged 18 and 15, to watch it with me. As a heterosexual-passing pan woman who has been in love with Winslet since the 1995 remake of Sense and Sensibility, I had looked forward to seeing her in a role that more accurately represented me. However, sitting with two of my children I felt my face turn red. In a brilliant parenting moment /s I tried to cover up my embarrassment by saying, “This is important. People with vaginas experience sexual pleasure differently than the movies make it seem. As people with vaginas, we have to advocate for our own pleasure,” at which point my 15 year old ran out of the room, eyes closed, hands over her ears. The 18 year old stayed, but mostly to ridicule my parenting. Two years later, when my daughters feel particularly spicy, they’ll say, “Hey, mom! Remember when you made us watch lesbian porn?”

They echo criticism from the public. One reviewer said, “Serious concerns that a famous lady has been wronged by the Lesbian storyline. Proof/truth? As for the soft porn. Why? Nothing more than eroticism for a very small segment of the population” (Alastair G, Ammonite, 2022). Even though I disagree that the movie is soft porn, and I disagree that we're a "very small segment of the population," I think Alastair hits (unwittingly) on the reason the movie failed. A combination of the slow pace and sex by and for women, two of the aspects that queer the movie, result in an insurmountable barrier for a public that is trained to prefer action and rough-and-ready sex created for the male gaze.

References

Benshoff, H., & Griffin, S. (2010). In Queer Cinema the film reader (pp. 1–15). essay, Routledge. Taylor & Francis Group. 

Berger, J. BBC and Penguin. (1972). chapter 1. In Ways of seeing (pp. 7–34). 

Canning, I., Sherman, E., O’Reilly F.C. (Producers), & Lee, F. (Director). (2020). The Ammonite [Motion picture]. United Kingdom: Lionsgate.

Clarke, D. (2021, March 26). Ammonite: Even the saoirse ronan-kate winslet sex scenes are too respectable. The Irish Times. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/film/ammonite-even-the-saoirse-ronan-kate-winslet-sex-scenes-are-too-respectable-1.4517920 

Duggan, L., & Hunter, N. D. (2006). Chapter 12: Making it perfectly queer. In Sex wars: Sexual dissent and political culture (pp. 149–163). essay, Routledge. 

Lodge, G. (2017, January 5). Does Moonlight show gay cinema has to be sexless to succeed? The Guardian. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/jan/05/does-moonlight-prove-that-gay-cinema-has-to-be-sexless-to-succeed 

Na. (n.d.). Ammonite. Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/ammonite 

Schoonover, K., & Galt, R. (2016). Introduction Queer, World, Cinema. In Queer Cinema in the world (pp. 1–34). Duke University Press. 

Schoonover, K., & Galt, R. (2016). Figures in the World: The Geopolitics of the Transcultural Queer. In Queer Cinema in the world (pp. 35-78).

Timar, C. (2020, December 6). Ammonite. CLAPPER. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://www.clapperltd.co.uk/home/ammonite 

by Bryn Brody

[the-fallen-blue]

Have you read that Revan book by Kapyshyn? What did you think?

The long version is that there are several fundamental constraints of the way BioWare does video games that combine to make Drew K a very good video game writer. One, it's intensely collaborative. Even if you're the lead writer, every character has their own dedicated writer (and thus, usually, defender). You have people with you to amend and refine your grand concepts. You have actors who, while they (stupidly! BioWare stop fucking doing this!) have no concept of the context of their lines or what they're responding to, can nevertheless bring richness, humanity, and authenticity to your dialog; you have scene and animation and staging and sound and music guys doing the same for your settings and action scenes. Two, you have certain basic software and programming restrictions that might make portraying certain things impossible, which, like all such restraints, often nourish creativity more than they founder it. Three, you have a very atomized form of design. It's almost anthology-like, in the sense that each planet is its own thing and NPCs can't really interact much or react too strongly to each other. One bad story doesn't compromise the others, things that aren't working can be scrapped, nothing is expected to build on anything else. Four, you have a main character who functionally is the audience themselves, and they are thus enormously predisposed to like and forgive anything said character does, fill in any blanks and generic attributes with details that they find compelling, and project any flaws or failings of the character on the NPCs being interacted with, instead.

None of this structure is available to the novel-writer, and when Drew K writes novels.... it shows.

The short version is that it is simply not written very well, with clunky prose, awkward dialog, and uneven pacing. Which would be forgivable if not for also committing the cardinal sin of declaring that Revan is any particular person at all, much less an incredibly bland boilerplate cishet white dude, and the less subculturally heinous but in honesty much more grave crime of being wildly sexist in its treatment of both Bastila and especially the Exile. (My opinion of KotOR II diverges significantly from the rest of the fandom, but no matter how you feel about its retcons, they were clearly biased toward making Revan more awesome, as Avellone understood the definition. Responding to that by retconning Avellone's character to be pathetic is a very juvenile response.)

[guiltygearofficial]

Who to puts pineapple on their pizza and who do not?

Sol insists that putting Pineapple on Pizza is the right thing to do, simply because Ky thinks it does not belong. He himself however eats nothing but raw meat on his pizza.

Ky thinks putting pineapple on pizza should be considered a cardinal sin. He has officially filled out the paperwork to make Pineapple Pizza illegal in Illyria

May eats pineapple on pizza because its sweet and sweet is nice :)

Millia does not understand why people have strong opinions on Pineapple Pizza

Zato eats Pineapple Pizza, but peels off the pineapple to feed to Eddie. 

Chipp does not eat Pineapple Pizza but he does not have the right to judge those who do, for he puts sushi on his pizza.

Pineapple Pizza is Potemkins favorite dish and the national dish of Zepp. This is why they haven’t been accepted into the UN yet.

Does Faust look like the kind of man who eats anything except pineapple pizza

Axl is british and has therefore commit culinary crimes severely worse than Pineapple Pizza

Kliff is a boomer and insists pineapple does not belong on pizza.

The gear cells didn’t do anything to Testament, he simply found out about Pineapple Pizza at the same time and decided maybe humanity was a mistake

Justice however thinks that Pineapple Pizza was the one thing humanity didn’t do wrong

Baiken would stab you if you offered her Pineapple PIzza. This is entirely unrelated to the pineapple.

Anji is travelling the world to find pizza even more outlandish than Pineapple Pizza. He was last sighted in brazil, fleeing from the authorities.

Venom once saw Zato order Pineapple Pizza and has forced himself to consume it every day since then, despite hating it.

Johnny uses Very Legal Means to acquire the freshest pineapple to smack onto pizza.

Jam is a cook and will smite you if you even think of putting pineapple on pizza

Dizzy doesn’t understand, why can’t everyone just eat whatever they want on pizza? It doesn’t affect anyone else? 

Necron however has it On Sight with Pineapple Pizza

Bridget is british this boy eats haggis his opinion on food became invalid before he learned what a pineapple was

I-nos stance on pineapple pizza entirely depends on what would annoy people most at any given time.

Pineapple pizza is the only weakness of vampires. Slayer consumes it daily as a flex. Sharon carries antibiotics wherever they go, Just In Case.

The ghosts all force zappa to eat Pineapple Pizza and also corpses dirt because they think its funny. Zappa prefers the dirt.

In contrast to the real Ky, Robo-ky adores Pineapple Pizza. His definition of Pineapple Pizza however is pizza literally slapped onto a cut open pineapple.

That Man Eats That PIzza. Yumm Yummy In His Tummy

Sin consumes nothing but meat lovers pizza. He would however consume Pineapple Pizza if he knew what a pineapple was.

Ravens pizza of choice is filled with broken glass. and pineapple.

Bedman can and will rant about Pineapple Pizza, its history and why he thinks its the worst thing ever for 20 minutes unprompted. I am sorry.

Ramlethal hasn’t eaten pizza since The Incident (see Guilty Gear Sign)

Please do not feed Elphelt cheese she is a bunny she will die

Leo Whitefang is lactose intolerant, but is desperate to prove himself superior to Ky, which is why he consumes pizza, both pineappled and unpineappled on the daily, before rushing to Das Poopenfarten. Ky hasn’t noticed he’s doing this as of yet.

Jack-o thinks pineapple pizza is neat

Ariels has declared humans redudancies because of Pineapple Pizza alone. The pope is a spiteful one.

Kums mecha runs on Pineapple Pizza. She does not know why she used that of all things as fuel, she may have gotten drunk that night.

Answer has, on chipps request, listed an embargo on Pineapple PIzza for the eastern chipp kingdom. Riots have been going for four weeks now.

Nagoriyuki puts onigiri on pizza please do not let this man anywhere near pizza

Giovanna is brazillian which means pineapple would be the least atrocious thing she would put on pizza. This woman eats bubblegum and peas on pizza. 

I hope this answers your questions dear gearster! 

[kryetara]

in  a  quiet  museum  somewhere  outside  budapest,          severin  and  ira  make  an  unfortunate  discovery  in   a  display.     part 1.       @perdefinitio​ .

                                    paramount  to  the  way  in  which  they  transverse  through  the  summers  of  the  earth,            two  bodies  that  renew  despite  the  hazards  of  life,     time seems to come grinding to a halt.         under shining spotlight,      ira is the driver,       he who slams forth the rusted wrought iron brakes;       severin’s energy seems scattered,       fragmented.          he sensed this,        as he sensed the man’s growing unsteadiness,     too;        may it masquerade itself to others,       or be as simple as daylight.         he cannot remain in shadow to the long-lost prince,       nor does ira believe he ever wishes to.        the magnitude of the moment between them seems significant enough to push waves on a Richter scale;         ira has a honeyed gaze trained on his husband,      as though to look away is to commit a cardinal sin.         there is something burning behind the glass.         why else would he retract so apace ?        for what other reason would the cool,    effortless breeze of the rebel-hearted mercian,       shift so corruptly to an exhausted downpour ?         he sensed this in him.        hunger growing for it’s source,       ira cannot hear severin’s pleas.        centuries of devoting his mind,     his soul,        his body to him,        has rendered the man incapable of playing devil’s advocate.         he will seek out the source and he will eradicate it.

heavy steps,     weighted,      take the man forth,      as though he were a knight on some valiant trail to glory.       indicative of the hundreds,     if not thousands of times he has marched onward for severin,     and for severin alone.         though it pains him to perhaps pay semblance into his love’s disquiet,      ira is not such a timid man as to simply lay bare to it;        he is a lore,       a legend,       THE WINCHESTER WIGHT,         the terrible    𝔚𝔲𝔩𝔳𝔢𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔣𝔬𝔡    that smirks the rotten forests with sharp teeth and sharper blades;          he will not sit idly by and watch severin ache.          though he may wish it were simple as a bodied foe.         when the ancient eyes find author of the other’s alarm,        he,      too,     is shaken.

the lights in the glass casing are harsh and bold,      synthetic.      there isn’t a scrap of activity beside them;      the pair are in the room alone together.       the room itself is peeling,     unloved,       with draping grey cobwebs in tall,     unreachable corners,        and splintering wooden floorboards.         some scrap of carpet in the corner is stained,        perhaps having seen hundreds of onlookers.       in-keeping with the theme,     it seems,        there is no  wholesomeness  to the way the letter is displayed.        blistering under the spotlights like kindling.         as if that’s all it was ever for.         ira’s gaze widens.

“   ira,   ”          the name seems to lose itself in the ether,     sound appears to fragment.        “   let’s just move onto the next room,   please ?   ”

but the man is silent.        there isn’t a thing severin can do to remove his focus,     nor can he detract from the severity of the situation.      this letter,     damaged through time,     marked here and there with the bloods of dirt,      is not so simple as a shred of history;       this letter is a whistle-blower.      this letter is a mark of the oppression they have faced their entire lives.       this letter,     in writing so obviously severin’s,      is a heron,      and it caws at him as if it were hellish;          this letter is,    quite simply,         trauma.          he doesn’t recognize it,      can’t place it’s nature,      and can’t seem to dedicate a year to it,    either.        simply that it speaks of a time they had been apart,      and that it had been lost along it’s way to finding him.      from how he has written it,       ira wonders if this had been in separation forced;      how long had it have been at this point ?        where was he,     if not by severin’s side,     where he is to belong for eternity;         when was it from ?          WHY WAS HE NOT THERE ?           somehow,      underneath the stoic exterior,     though no sound breaks the barrier,        ira feels himself lose breath in a motionless whimper.       the spring of his confident guise slips almost immediately into a    cold,      harrowing winter.        every moment he has ever spent away from the other seems to taunt him,     suddenly,      as though the room floods with cackling demons.

if severin speaks to him again,       ira can’t hear him.        it’s only when he feels the man’s touch,       open palm flat against the brace of his forearm,       that he breaks the fog.        his gaze retreats to meet the other’s.        oh,     the agony you have had to endure my love,       and the agony i have not been present to remedy.      he can’t move,     can’t uproot his boots from the spot;       an oak destined to stay put,     stay still,      to wait,        to wait for severin to arrive,       to watch that pine doorframe until the small hours of shivering morning,       and still remain without him,        still remain frozen,        still feel the scolding chill.         ira blinks.

“    i can’t leave it there,   ”          he manages.      his voice is too ruptured,     too split apart with anguish.     he searches severin’s eyes.       there is too much pain there to cope with all at once;       the perpetrator is not some gall-faced thug,    this time;      no.       the perpetrator of severin’s pain is     loss.        ira cannot wield a sword to it,       can’t cut it open for it’s wrongdoings,       can’t remind it of it’s sins by squeezing life from it;         for he,     in some sense,     is the cause of it.        there is a small shake forming on his fingers.        “   i can’t,   sev.   ”

[kryptsune]

Souly Damned Saturdays!~

🌼Hello everyone! I am excited to share the next SD Saturday! Today is going to be how the Infernal Realm is set up and a profile on one of my favorite boys, Val. This is going to be a huge one! Let’s get into it! If you have any questions please ask away! There is so much to this world and it’s characters that I don’t want to overwhelm people. *again stunning chibi of my boy Val by @little-noko​ >////< I love it so much*

~Prince Profile:~

True Name: Valruth Alias Names: Valentine (Val) Nicknames/Titles: The Bloodstained Beast Soul Flower Type: Rose in half bloom          Color Type: Ruby with burnt petals Infernal Hierarchy: 2nd Prince of Lust Age Order: 5th Oldest Familiar Form: White Maine Coon/ (Hellcat) True Form Appearance Description:          ~Skeletal in appearance           ~Prominent fangs (spiked teeth in true form)           ~Ruby pointed tongue          ~Black horns that are reminiscent of the stereotypical devil           ~Skeletal claws          ~Clawed feet          ~Spaded bone tail with charcoal gradient          ~Golden Fang          ~Bone damage (cuts) on forearm, ribs, spine, shoulder blade          ~Bone and black feather wings (mix)

  Human Form Physical description:          ~Hair color: White/ cool platinum         ~Hair style: slicked back (before modern and reminiscent of the 1920′s)         ~Eye color: Ruby/ reddish brown         ~Skin tone: Pale         ~Contract symbol mark placement: his left shoulder blade         ~Height: 5′9 

Special Abilities or Powers: 

        ~Mind reading         ~Can pull out deepest desire         ~Dream walking         ~Mental suggestion         ~Levitation         ~Teleportation         ~Fire element         ~Veritas (forces those under his influence to tell the truth)         ~Lust touch         ~Blood vitality/ power         ~Servitude         ~Calming/ paralysis touch

(more below the cut!)

~SD Q AND A (These are all questions from you! Specifically those in my server):~

1. What is vals usual duties as a prince of hell? Does he have hobbies he enjoys doing? Does he even like humans if so what does he like about them? 🔥Val has less duties as Costello because even though he is a prince he is not the head of that Kingdom. Though to be fair Costello doesn't really mind doing the work it keeps his mind occupied. Mainly it's Val's job to deal with Coven direction/communication. I mean he has hobbies but uh... those are not appropriate to mention. Remember Val's cardinal sin is lust X'D He does enjoy music so he will spend time learning different musical styles or instruments. All in all he is pretty laid back and enjoys a good time. He’s a party boy, but he will be serious if needed.   Costello's position allows Val to be kind of a hedonist. His other job is based in contracts. Most Princes don't directly deal with humans unless circumstances allow due to their past history. It's his job to essentially make sure that quotas are being met. Let's just say he prefers the Mortal Realm because he loves messing with mortals.

2. Does Val prefer like manipulating people or playing pranks more? 🔥 He enjoys manipulating people.

3. How does it feel for Val to take another's life? What did it feel like the first time?

🔥 When he first Fell he struggled with the duality of his Clelestial/Infernal blood. It's the concept of the first life he took was hard on him but the moment he looks at the blood he essentially breaks. After that he gains the nickname of Beast because he revels in the kills. Eventually, he earns the "title" of the Bloodstained Beast which is where Beast comes from. 

4. Is Val overall sure of himself or does he struggle with loads of insecurities?

🔥He is sure of himself outwardly but alone not so much. Like I said before the majority of the brothers struggle with what they used to be and what they have become. His father's influence pushed his mind to justify the horrible things he has done. When Darrius is locked away the brothers have to come to terms with the monsters they have become. 

5. Does Val ever suffer from depression?

🔥I wouldn't call it depression. It is not that severe. It is more like self doubt or regret. 

6. What does it mean to be "alive" for Val?

🔥Unlike Infernals born in that realm, the brothers still have their Celestial souls but they are badly corrupted. Being alive for him is feeling the emotions that he used to when he was a Celestial. Think of their corruption as losing a sense of self. Most think that his "highs" come from drinking, pleasure, and the usual sinful fair but that’s not entirely true.

7. Does Val struggle with who he is?

🔥It depends on what part of the timeline. In the beginning he struggles a lot until he snaps but then doesn't care at all as if his original soul has gone numb. Over the centuries he does begin to mellow out and eventually when he meets Eve he changes his tune. Even before their meeting he is far more self conscious. 

8. Do Val’s emotions of himself ever reflect on others or does he keep them tightly wound?

🔥He keeps his emotions tightly wound unless he is with someone he trusts and by god is it hard to gain any of these boys trust. They were betrayed by their father and their other family... so they have major abandonment and trust issues. 

9.  Has there ever been a time where Val considered "love" over "lust"?

🔥Yes! In fact that is what he used to be. He was a Celestial of love and affection. It is one of the reasons that I made his alias name Valentine. Eve is the love of his life and he treats her as such.

10. If the brothers get their hands on souls what do they do with them? Will each prince treat souls differently from one another?

🔥Soul wise they can consume souls for their power, which they are already ungodly powerful already. The only caveat to that is that it corrupts their souls further. Sometimes those souls end up tormenting them for a while before they fade away. Each one has a different effect depending on the soul itself not so much the one who consumes it. 

11. What happens to changelings that die? Do they become infernal beasts/imps? or does something else happen?

🔥They essentially meet a permanent end, however, I should mention that they kind of get recycled in a way? Think of it as giving the energy back to the realm. It strengthens it. There are various artifacts and runes of great power strewn throughout the realm that are powered by dead Infernal life forces.

~The Infernal Realm Info~

General Structure:

The Infernal Realm is divided into an odd configuration that would imply something along the lines of Dante’s Inferno but the rings do not consecutively branch out. In the center the Infernal Palace in the capital city of Eden rests surrounded by the homes and residences of the Infernal elite. The ring outside those gates consists of five kingdoms; Lust (being the largest of the five), Pride, Greed, Envy, and Wrath. 

The outer most ring consists of the other 2 kingdoms; Sloth and Gluttony. Lastly the outer “walls” or ring is a wasteland for lost souls that neither belong in Heaven or Hell. This is what most would consider to be Purgatory but that would be factually incorrect. The gateway to purgatory is hidden within this land's monochrome and misty forests. There are also rumors that a gateway to the other realms also lies in these woods safely guarded by Infernal Beasts with loyalty to their King. There is in fact a portal to the mortal realm in each kingdom and heavily guarded by whoever each Prince sees fit. In the beginning of their banishment the Princes began to build on the outskirts of the realm working their way inward this causes an influence on the architectural influences. The further out the kingdom the the more ancient. SO each Kingdom is influenced by a specific period in time. This also coincides with the technology seen in the kingdom. The exception are the Prince’s castles. An example of this is Gin’s Kingdom of Sloth. His kingdom is heavily ancient Egyptian based but he is obsessed with the mortal realm so he still has technology but you can only find it in his “castle”. You wouldn’t see that kind of tech outside those walls. In addition each kingdom is divided by a dangerous wasteland in order to deter souls from trying to escape kingdoms. 

The only means of travel is a railway that travels from kingdom to kingdom. The tracks move and shift (kind of like the stairs in Harry Potter) to the destination that is required. One needs a ticket otherwise you can’t get on the railway and this is generally used by Imps or the occasional changeling if they are given permission to do so. 

Darrius’ Prison (The Wasted Hollow): Darrius is locked in a very specific prison stuck in between the Infernal and the Mortal Realm. It's a cushy small cage that can only be opened by the power of the 12 Princes. There is not a living soul in it except for him. This place dampens his abilities but they all cannot be contained. He has imparted his influence in multiple ways by reaching out to mortals and demons alike. Under his instruction they have created different cults. They are currently clandestine under the New Order and the New Mortal Realm.  

Note: If it was possible to get an aerial view of the entire Infernal Realm it would look very similar to a contract symbol or in essence a seal. This is due to the railway system that connects the kingdoms together. It’s a relatively new future as the millennia have progressed but the formation of these lines is in fact in the shape of a pentagram. 

~The Kingdoms (7)~

Lust (Inner Ring)- The kingdom that used to be ruled by the current King of the Realm. The hierarchy works that each kingdom rules over a certain sin committed by those punished. The closer that they are to The Capital the richer and more prosperous. It’s era of influence is the Roaring 20′s and that can be seen in it’s more art deco styled architecture and fashion sense. The lust kingdom is ruled by Costello who is the crown prince and following that is Val. He is a prince as well but uncrowned to one of the major kingdoms (he could honestly care less).The kingdom of lust revels in opulence and is known for its material wealth and the demons here tend to be debaucherous and are known for their slave/pet dealings. In this kingdom they tend to be overly needy causing them to sate their desires with damned souls or each-other.  It is well known that nothing can really saite these demons appetites for pleasure. They do as they will but continue to follow under the rules set forth by the King. The demons of this kingdom however tend to get away with more considering their kingdoms standing. Lust also does not just account for physical pleasure but lust for things such as wealth or power are prime examples. It is rumored that the two brothers appear to be opposites in their handling of the sin. Costello being more about possession and passion while Beast is more the stereotypical lust. Out of all the kingdoms this one seems to be the “best” one to be sentenced to especially if you find yourself at the feet of its rulers. The humans here are usually taken care of quite nicely though it is also rumored that some of those souls in question do not belong in Hell at all.   Appearance wise the Lust kingdoms Castle is paved with marble and gold. It is near spotless excluding wealth and grandeur. The massive walls that hide the Castle from view are covered in thick lush green vines and flowers. They have lace like porticos that spill a strange liquid from snake-like mouths. It is said that a human that even consumes a drop of it will be subject to their demon masters will for eternity. A strong manipulative love potion in essence. The Palace gardens are almost as if they were taken from the Garden of Eden itself which is entirely possible. The further away from the epicenter of the city becomes less ostentatious though not dilapidated by any means. Many of the Infernal elite live in this kingdom commonly. 

Pride (Inner Ring)- The kingdom of Pride is ruled by Carthus and Dusk which resides in the inner ring. As such it too exudes opulence at its center. The Kingdom supplies and trains those for the Capitals personal guard as well as the demons that are considered soldiers. This is also the Kingdom of the tainted. Those that are not quite demon but also not quite human. A long time ago when demons walked among the humans in the first mortal realm they wrecked havoc. The Princes of Pride manipulated humanity so much so that they began to turn them away from their old religions so that they would worship them instead. 

In turn the two brothers (along with the Princes of the Kingdom of Greed) toyed with human souls creating Infernal half breeds. What humanity calls vampires, werewolves, and so forth. The humans began to decline at rapid numbers since those of half Infernal blood easily hunted the weak. Now they span the wasteland of Purgatory sometimes finding themselves in the Infernal or Mortal Realms.   

Humans of high status on earth are also subjected to the same kind of torment they put on others in the worst way possible. Dictators, murderers and the like in this kingdom. It is a series of mind altering and psychologically torturing pathways and darkness. The only ones that are able to navigate this kingdom are those born from it’s depths or the Princes themselves as Dusk is the one that devised this horrifying MC Esher maze. It is influenced by the Late Victorian and Edwardian period. This kingdom’s seasons and magically produced light source can vary but the majority of the time the skies resemble twilight fading into darkness as you get further away from the castle. 

Wrath (Inner Ring)- The Kingdom of Wrath is the kingdom of War and bloodlust ruled by Sokan and Azrin. This is the kingdom known as The Cell unlike the kingdom of Lust, Wrath only shows off it’s splendor near it’s castle and some of the surrounding areas. It is mostly utilized as a giant torture pit. This is where souls are sent as punishment of the most severe crimes and tortured mercilessly sometimes torn to shreds only to be revived. 

Their leader is a ruthless warden of sorts making sure that everyone obeys the laws both set forth for demon or soul. Demons sentenced to exile are also detained here in this confusing catacomb prison. It is filled with deadly traps and pitfalls to prevent escape as well. The human souls usually sentenced here were the warriors that committed atrocities without a second glance at the innocent. Those that killed children in the name of the king is an example of this. 

The Cell is also where souls are twisted beyond recognition and where most new demons are made. In this world demons are made not born and those corrupted souls become the new generation. It could take years. It could take centuries but being thrown into The Cell is a sure fire sentence into Infernal rebirth.

There are two rulers of this kingdom and as such two types of punishments. While Boss rules over the Pit, Azrin is his little torture aficionado. Those sentenced are usually the type of killers that were mentally undone. Ones that took a sick twisted pleasure in their artistry. Those are usually brought from the outside. Their ruler, Azrin, is what one might call… unhinged at best. They are known for their experimentation attempting to twist mortal souls into whatever is desired... following in the footsteps of his older brothers. 

Greed (Inner Ring)- The kingdom of Greed is unlike any other kingdom as it houses an insurmountable number of souls within it (even if they don’t last long). It’s influence is the High Gothic Period, just think Dracula’s castle and forest. The ruler of Greed, Crimson, is a ruthless warlord with an unusual thirst for blood and not in the war hungry way. It’s second Prince, Grimm, enjoys torturing souls himself and will generally set up elaborate hunts to that end. 

It’s alternate title is that of the Kingdom of Blood. Those unfortunate souls forced to end up in such a horrible kingdom will find themselves subject to experimentation or unwinable hunts. Crimson was the one that started all of this half breed creation along with Carthus and Dusk. Though there were many creatures that came about through this experimentation Crimson and Grimm are specifically tied to two infernal blooded hybrids. The two brothers are most likely where the vampire and werewolf mythology stem from.   

Both brothers continue to play with their human “toys” as they did so long ago. They enjoy the thrill of hunting down those sentenced and revel in their success. Crimson prefers the opulence and riches that his sin provides while Grimm is more down to earth. It may account for his more bestial nature as he has a similar animalistic inclination like that of his youngest brother Ouro.  

Envy (Inner Ring)- This is the kingdom that trains and outsources spies as well as assassins. Demonic hitmen used to gain political power among their respective kingdoms. They are known for their thieves mostly stealing from their neighboring kingdom of greed, specifically souls.  Envy is known as the shadow kingdom usually housing those souls of the occult and black magic. Those that tried to obtain the unobtainable through magical or demonic means like that of Hedge Witches. 

Sanneth does not take kindly to this as these souls are tortured for all eternity forced to relive and conjure their own worst fears or transgressions. A never ending nightmare would be an apt description. Like his younger brother Dusk, Sanneth does not embrace his sin as much as the others. His abilities reflect his more Celestial blood but alas he is a Prince and therefore a kingdom he must rule. 

Sanneth also happens to be the twin brother of Carthus and the two are constantly at odds. He believes that they can conduct their “duty” without fulling turning into monsters while Carthus revels in his corruption. The 4th eldest prince’s envy could stem from his desire to return to how he once was. The castle rests in a season of eternal Spring influenced by the Japanese Edo period.

Gluttony (Outer Ring)- Those that are placed into this kingdom as punishment are subjected to torture of starvation and thirst. The princes castle is surrounded by a never ending desert with no hope for food or drink. Souls are forced to starve wandering this desert for the rest of eternity. The demons banished into this place feast on mortal corpses that fall, tearing them to pieces like scavengers. 

When the sun sets these mortals end up back where they started in one piece having to endure the same torture over and over. Ouro the ruler of his kingdom does not do much in the way of duty. He tends to delegate his jobs to other lower level demons. If a mortal manages to cross the desert the torture is with standing. Any food will turn to ash in their mouths and any water will burn the throat. It is an endless never quenchable thirst and hunger. It’s influence is that of Mesoamerica such as the ancient Maya and Aztec civilizations.  Sloth (Outer Ring)- Sloth is the final kingdom before the Outer Ring. It is “ruled” by Prince Gin though no one could actually tell you what it takes to maintain the kingdom as he tends to delegate everything to his Dukes. 

The souls here are never allowed to rest, forced to work the land for food production. Which is hilarious because food does literally nothing for demons. Ok hilarious in a cruel sick way. The Infernal Princes do like to have their feasts and lavish parties but that food is very different. In essence mortals are forced into a constant state of fatigue. Never able to drink, eat, or most of all sleep.

Gin tends to be selectively lazy but he has a fascination with the modern mortal world and tends to spend a lot of his time acquiring items from there. The poor boy has insomnia so he rarely sleeps since he is so enthralled with his game systems. He is very much a pop culture nerd at times and if you can get on his good side you will find that is probably one of the softer of the Princes. He likes a good time, oh and junk food... lots of junk food. The influence for this kingdom is ancient Egyptian as alluded to earlier since both of the Outer Ring Kingdoms are surrounded by a seemingly never ending stretch of desert. 

(That’s it for this week! I hope that gives you all kind of an idea how the Infernal realm works. This is jus the basics and if people are more interested in this I will go into more detail. That is what the ask box is for!)  << PREV  | FIRST |  NEXT >>

[greatcometdeservedbetter]

Anyway, these takes are Not Hot but here’s my official New Marvel TV rankings:

WandaVision an obvious winner. Genuine masterpiece. Builds up and then pays off like a slot machine while propelling the greater MCU storyline forward. Bonus points for most episodes being practically 20 minutes after credits. More tv episodes should be short and that’s as hot as this take will ever get.

Falcon and the Winter Soldier clunky but good! The fights drag a bit for my tastes, but it’s interested in deepening the emotional stakes of the MCUniverse in a way I don’t think any of the other movies or shows have done while also making clear real-world commentary that can ring a little hollow coming from a multi-billion dollar franchise but it’s still cool to see in a mainstream product.

Loki oh boy. This baby is a hot mess. Never quite finds it’s footing as comedy or drama so it can’t land solid punches on either side. Somehow rushed AND slow. I need both more and less context. Also, it commits the cardinal sin of not developing it’s lead character which is especially disappointing since we’ve already seen him evolve a lot since the point at which the series actually picks him up (The Thor Trilogy is the Best Marvel Trilogy So Far). It might have been interesting to explore what he would be like if he never suffered the consequences of the battle of New York but the show emphatically Does Not Do That even though it winks at the idea several times. Maybe the second season will be better but I’ll have to be convinced before I willing give Marvel another Six Hours of my gd LIFE

[ironwoodatl01]

RWBY Review - Start to Finish -

RWBY VOL 1; CHAPTER 2 -

We ended on the line ‘Better shows were canceled for far less unforgivable sins on our last episode.’

There is a second part to this, which goes;

‘But a show has at least one season before something (that) drastic happens.’

I should have qualified that last statement because;

I know, I should have qualified my statement.

Moving on.

Chapter 2: The Shining Beacon -

Picking up from the airship ride upon which Chapter 1 ended, Chapter 2 begins with Ruby Rose taking her first steps onto Beacon Academy and fangirling about the weapons borne by the other students accompanying Ruby to Beacon Academy.

After being abandoned by her sister, Yang, whom we met on the airship. Ruby then meets three characters; Weiss, Blake, and Jaune Arc.

Bonding with Jaune Arc, Ruby makes her way into Beacon proper where the first thing we see of the school is an auditorium. Ozpin gives a speech, and Glynda tells everyone to spend the night in the Great Hall and prepare for Initiation.

During the ‘Slumber Party’ Ruby catches up with Blake, where Ruby then reveals that she loves books. Just like the mysterious, raven-haired beauty Ruby and Yang are attempting to befriend. Despite committing the cardinal sin of interrupting someone while they are reading, Blake seems to appreciate Ruby’s attempts at friendship but decides to call it a night when Weiss appears.

Building upon Chapter 1 -

In the vein of being creative, reviews from this point on will always build upon the last review of the previous chapter. A narrative is not cogent on individual scenes but on how individual scenes build upon each other, and therefore any review of RWBY should be taken in the context of what previous episodes show.

This is especially true since RWBY isn’t a ‘Monster-of-week’ story but a continuous story about Ruby Rose and her adventures.

Chapter 2 chooses to expand on the Huntsman storyline by focusing on Ruby’s entrance into Beacon after she was given a chance to be at Beacon by Ozpin. We learn more about Ozpin and his place at Beacon, we get a clearer picture of what Dust is capable of, and the Faunus issue takes a backseat to Ruby’s character development and relationship building with her schoolmates at Beacon.

However, Ruby Rose’s development is rather inconsistent. Ruby portrays multiple, contradictory character traits which cause Ruby to feel like a blank slate. Adapting herself to reflect the traits of better-developed characters instead of being a character herself.

The dialogue and exposition throughout the episode also make it feel like I’m being reintroduced to plot elements discussed in the first episode, making the narrative so far feel tedious.

In fact, it may be better if Chapter 1 was a prologue or a trailer, while Chapter 2 becomes Chapter 1. This is because most of the plot elements introduced in Chapter 1 were better introduced with a more cohesive narrative in Chapter 2.

What I (genuinely) liked -

Dust -

The scene where Ruby Rose knocks over Weiss’s Dust Cases was my favorite introduction to Dust. The scene was simple and established what we needed to know about Dust for now; It’s volatile, powerful, and produces elemental effects when it explodes.

The introduction also serves multiple goals; establishing Ruby’s clumsiness, Weiss’s schtick as having more than make-up powder in her suitcases, and the relationship between Ruby and Weiss. Ruby’s impetuous energy, and Weiss’s cautious uptightness in regards to her personal items and space.

It is also interesting to see a weapon being introduced in a way that does not involve fighting.

Jaune Arc -

At this stage in the story, Jaune is my favorite character. His simple design is elegant, his weaponry is a breath of fresh air compared to Ruby’s over-designed Crescent Rose, and Jaune feels like the kind of guy you could go out for a beer with. Which is something that writers tend to overlook when it comes to character design. Would your character be someone the reader would go out for a drink with?

Ozpin’s Speech -

Ozpin’s speech raises a question that sets up one of RWBY’s … themes. In the opening narration, Ozpin brings up ‘a Simple Soul’ as the key to victory. Though we don’t really know what is a ‘simple soul,’ it can be assumed that the story of Ruby Rose will tell us as it unfolds. So that’s fair.

In this episode’s speech, Ozpin brings up the question of ‘purpose’. The Huntsmen are at Beacon to get knowledge, but they fail to ask themselves ‘why’ they want this knowledge. Why do you want to be a Huntsman? Implying a question that requires a good answer if one wants to succeed at being a Huntsman.

The purpose is something that most modern stories tend not to explore. Why does a character want to do something? Protagonists and Heroes tend not to have this well established. The Hero fights the Villain because that’s what Heroes do, but why does a Hero want to specifically fight this Villain? How would fighting the Villain help the Hero achieve his goals? Villains tend to have this better explained, which may be why audiences identify with the Villains more.

But in RWBY’s case, this question is not answered yet. But it is a question that the show intends to address, and I think it is a pertinent question.

Another pertinent question is how I’m going to piss off RWBY fans this time.

Problems with the Chapter 2 -

Like Harry Potter, to an extent, RWBY’s main problem is Ruby. A special girl is marked out for a special destiny, and we have to know how special she is at the expense of more interesting characters like Jaune.

One example of this is when Ruby meets Blake and they have a discussion about books.

The conversation is skewed to explore more of Ruby instead of Blake by taking something that is uniquely Blake’s, her love of books, and having Ruby explain Blake’s hobby to her face. We learn about Ruby’s preferred genres, we learn what books mean to Ruby, and how they motivate her to be a Huntress. Forgetting that earlier on, Ruby’s thing was weapons.

Ruby’s thing for weapons was established at the beginning of the episode with a sequence explaining how weapons are an extension of the Huntsman and are thus cool. This in and of itself contradicts Ruby’s first interview in Chapter 1 where she states that being a Huntsman is cool because they are romantic and cool. At the same time referring to weapons a grand total of zero times.

One could argue that this love of weapons and romantic stories about heroes are linked to Ruby’s love of Huntsmen in general. Ruby does state that;

“As a girl, I wanted to be just like those heroes in the books... Someone who fought for what was right, and protected people who couldn't protect themselves …”

Which could work, and I like that. So what do weapons have to do with stories? It is a jarring personality thing that takes away from the unique trait of other characters and serves to make Ruby a fence-sitter. A character tries to be like every other character, and in the process loses her character.

Funnily enough, this is why Jaune is a more interesting character than Ruby. He is his own character. A boy trying to live up to his family legacy by becoming a Huntsman, because that is how he would make his mark in a bloodline containing warriors and heroes.

We don’t have Ruby Rose telling Jaune how SHE is part of a family line of ancient warriors, and thus showing how special she is. Jaune is allowed to keep what makes him unique, and he thus maintains the quality that makes him an interesting character at this point of the narrative.

Conclusion -

I like Chapter 2. It interestingly introduces several interesting concepts and is a good start to the narrative of RWBY.

However, Ruby Rose takes too much screen time, and the Chapter would have been better suited to being ‘Chapter 1’ instead.

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

also, I feel like if your first-person narrator doesn't have a name by the end of the second page, maybe the third page if you're stretching, it needs to be A Thing You Are Doing On Purpose.

in the thing I'm writing now, Sasha doesn't get a name until like the twelfth page of the novel, because she gets addressed by a name in her first dialog with Isabelle, who's going to be her love interest in another fourteen thousand words. that was on purpose! I was making a point!

maybe i am being uncharitable, but why are we getting this girl's name on page eight? what's the thematic thing you are doing here?

aside on Sasha, tragically I couldn't get around using her actual full name for this first interaction, so she's Aleksandra for a while until we get her name again later. When people use her name, it's Sasha like 90% of the time, so I am only sort of committing the cardinal sin of Giving A Character Your Own Name.

justifications for doing this anyway

(a Sasha is not my name, so it's fine.

(b technically, Aleksandra is not my name, my name has an X in it, so it's fine.

(c look, there's an obvious self-insert in this novel and it's not the woman with the Russian version of my name, it's the other woman, so maybe I am just cleverly throwing readers off the scent.

(d okay, except for the few scenes when Sasha is experiencing the emotion "incandescently angry but also hates herself for being an angry person," that's... not a thing I don't do. but sometimes you gotta spread your personal business around among several characters, again, to throw people off the scent.

(e I have never written romance before but I do feel like the above point is especially true in romance so it doesn't turn into Just Me, Personally, And Her Cool Girlfriend, which would be a weird reading experience and would rob Sasha of like, clear definition as a character on her own merits.

(f every fictional character ever is at least partially a reflection of the author's personal weirdness, that's just how it works.

(g Stephen King is a goddamn bestseller! How many books has he written that are just A Writer Dude Who Is Basically Stephen King but there's vampires or he gets trapped in a basement or there's a car trying to murder him or whatever? (I don't remember if the dude in the murder car book was A Writer Dude, because I have never actually finished any of his books, but I do think he's put out like three or four of them where the protagonist is just himself).

(h do these rules apply to men*? do men ever get told "hey, your protagonist shouldn't be Too Much Like You, that makes you look stupid?"

(i that gif of Ron Swanson saying "not to worry, I have a permit" and then then his permit says "I can do what I want, Ron."

*caveat: I am sure some men do get told this and what I mean here applies broadly across identities, where the more you are read as Default the less people are likely to be like "hey, it sucks that your made-up people are like you, that's not just a thing everybody does, that's a thing People Like You specifically do and it sucks" I have encountered it most w/r/t gender, so I am doing a catchall thing here.