#it doesn't feel sustainable at its current state

[3knecrotic]

Sometimes I don't think she cares, but it's also my Fault so I'm left so conflicted

..

[headspace-hotel]

Another note on climate change despair:

My politics are pretty leftist, especially by the standards of a red state, but I think there is a such thing as Too Far Left re: the systemic nature of problems

It happens when you start to believe that nothing will ever change unless the current system is completely destroyed and a new one built in its place. In particular, when you believe that taking steps to reform, or decrease the harm of, a corrupt system is pointless or even bad, you've gone off the deep end imho.

People from my own country—the United States—will say things like "Gradual, incremental change is pointless, we need Revolution!"

Look me in the eyes and tell me that women's rights, LGBTQ rights, racial equality, etc. are in the same state they were in 1950. Maybe just google these things first.

Revolution IS an incremental change!!! This country has tens of thousands of elected officials and officeholders!! Every life-supporting industry is run by a fucked up Rube Goldberg machine of bureaucracy that could stretch from here to the Moon 87 times!!! This country's laws, institutions, and supply chains are a Bethesda game programmed in the 1700's, released unfinished and currently running thousands of mods, at least half of which either remove crucial game mechanics and content at random or do things like "make your character take damage when he pees." Do you think it's really possible to raze this clusterfuck to the ground and rebuild it from scratch?

anyway, I say this because a concerning amount of people believe literally nothing meaningful can be done to save the planet until our current government and economic system no longer exist.

I get it. Capitalism is what got us into this mess and it's making it worse right now, but we do not have zero agency, capitalism does not have infinite power and wisdom, and humans and governments can and do make decisions that are contrary to the immediate interests of capitalism. I think it's not only possible but normal throughout history for people's actions and beliefs to flow against the prevailing power of the time.

Think of dandelions. They flourish not because they are wanted, but because they are numerous, and the power that controls the grass and sidewalks cannot reach everywhere at once. And so they are unstoppable, and will never be destroyed.

We must have the raw, opportunistic resisting power of weeds, taking hold in every crack in the terrible machine that controls our lives. We must hold on like little plants in an expanse of cracked concrete—the slab will not be dug up and the soil set free anytime soon, but if enough of us live our lives in spite of it, its power will be weakened and its impenetrable nature changed.

Also, just because technological solutions to climate change don't feel right—they don't satisfy the longer-term, idealized principle of healing the Earth and creating a more sustainable society—doesn't mean they wouldn't, in the short term, work.

Get in losers, we're burning incense to Caesar and tomorrow we will be alive.

[etherfabric]

Encouragement from your Spirit Guides

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

The Fool, 9 of Swords

Ditch the phrase "Do it scared." When you bulldoze through your fear, you hurt yourself. It is a part of you that you will never transcend, because you need it. You can't expect any sustainable outcome from this violent approach. Your Spirit Guides see your efforts and want you to know that you hit the mark a long time ago already, and they are doing all they can to line you up with more positive experiences. They don't want you to use force against your most vulnerable parts for the sake of progress that is not even due yet.

You were told by misguided people that you are too sensitive, too slow, too lazy when you feel comfortable. This is not the case. The Universe likes slow. It likes gentle, loving approaches. It will meet you where you are at. Trust in your innate worth of good things, and don't whip yourself to places and situations you aren't ready for. Good things will come - for example the much calmer state of mind you will have once you don't betray your own trust anymore by ignoring your boundaries. You deserve kindness, patience and everything you need to feel safe. Listen to your fear. It needs your love.

Pile 2

Strength, King of Cups

Standing ovation for your emotional resilience! Your Spirit Guides are so freaking proud of you. You found a place within yourself where you can watch the waters of your soul ebb and flow in sovereignty. Even the stormiest currents can't rock you enough to lose your focus on what's important to you. You exude an air of compassion towards yourself that is inspiring.

What you deemed impossible and beyond your depth not so long ago is now already second nature to you. What an evolution to witness! Take pride in the thousands of conscious impulses that led you here. Let the imposter syndrome swim its laps, you know where it stems from, and you know that's not the whole story.

Beware of your knack for arrogance, the other end of that spectrum, and the future looks peachy.

Pile 3

The World, The Moon

Your Spirit Guides want you to know that there is closure to a deep rooted doubt on the horizon. They way you are carrying yourself in the last few days is amicable, and benefits the integration of one of your deepest wounds. Healing comes in many forms, and you have experienced a good handful of them already. Buckle up for a whole new variant of dimension in this regard - things you deemed lost forever will be ever so close to your grasp again and provide you with a surge of motivation you couldn't imagine before.

When the shadows of the past cloud your judgement, hold onto the smidge of light creeping through, especially when it seems like a lukewarm joke that just can't be true. From the perspective of despair, hope always seems ridiculous. Well, get a little silly, then. Dancing naked might sound like the worst humiliation, but only to those who haven't tasted that kind of freedom yet. Get ready to hear the music soon.

Pile 4

Two of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

Oh how you are chopping down that bullshit quickly! No time for nonsense is written all over your forehead, and for the metaphorically illiterate, you have no trouble spelling it out ever so clearly. Your Spirit Guides are in awe of your determination when it comes to your boundaries. You are loyal to your highest principles, no matter what. You know for certain that your wants and needs have a valid foundation, and you won't tolerate any projected shame on that part.

In the past, people could drag you into psychological tug-of-wars that left you off balance either way, whether you "won" or "lost". Now you smell that game from a mile away and don't even touch that rope. Just one little advice: Choose your battles. Not every boundary has to be set in stone, and not every crossing of one is a fundamental failure on your part you have to avoid at all costs, or else. Humans are multitudes of parts, all with their own unique set of requirements, and context is always a factor.

But still, look at you and how far your shadow work around speaking up has taken you! Who would've thought that one day you would need a reminder that soft is okay, too? ;)

[eruscreaminginthedistance]

Seen lots of talk about this going around lately so thought I'd put the sparknotes of this interview here for posterity.

Baldur's Gate-specific questions:

Swen reconfirms they don't plan to make any DLC or sequels to BG3; they made a start but didn't feel like their hearts were in it. They now have two other games they want to make instead.

When asked if they had plans for a Divinity: Original Sin 3, Swen replied: "Yeah, I can't tell you. No, it will have its proper moment. Hopefully nobody's going to leak it for us, but it's different than what you think it is, but it is still familiar enough for you to recognize that it's something that we are making."

Astarion was originally planned to be a Tiefling.

Ketheric Thorm was intended to be a companion.

Locations that got cut included Hell, Vlaakith's Palace, and Candlekeep (Dx).

BG3 characters now belong to Wizards of the Coast, not Larian.

There were apparently 24 different variations of Shadowheart getting the artifact to you (not sure if this refers to development or the release version of the game).

When asked about how Act 1 was very polished and well-received, but Act 3 had issues, he responded "Yeah. I know. Yeah, one day I'll figure that one out.".

They're currently working with Microsoft and Sony to start rolling out curated mods for console versions of the game.

Epilogue content is still being worked on. They plan to give each ending a full cinematic, and are currently working on the evil endings.

Cross-platform play is still in the works, but it's difficult to implement.

Swen's opinions on the current state of the games industry and general development under the cut:

Lots of righteous rage from Swen about the mass firings in the games industry and how they don't contribute to making good games.

"But because the ones that are making those decisions don't play the games, don't understand the ethos, they don't care about it. They don't understand that fundamental truth that that's in there. It's just, oh, well, it's a technical artist, we can get another technical artist, whatever. Also, who fires their technical artists?!"

He believes that AAA games with massive budgets can be sustainable for the industry because the audience is there, and because these types of games can fuel progression and innovation.

Believes the lists of upsides to early access is way longer than the list of downsides; "it is the model of the future. I mean, it's not only for your mechanics and your balancing, but even your story gets better. You see how players resonate, what they're after."

Swen's stance on AI is that it is a tool to speed up certain processes, but that it couldn't replace the creative elements of development. His current approach to speeding up artistic development is to hire more concept artists and writers, rather than using generative AIs. He does believe that it has a place in the future of game development, though: "I don't buy the full NPC being generated, but most likely everything will feel the same. So I buy more that there's going to be something that's crafted, and then you'll have AI that plugs into it to augment it. And it should be done in such a way that it's invisible, so you don't know that it's shifting around."

Remote work doesn't seem to be feasible for a game of BG3's scale. In their period of working from home, Swen noted that it was a much easier time for senior devs than for the juniors, who needed mentoring, and they had communication issues during this time as well.

[lindisworld]

Close || Matt Murdock x Reader

summary - Soulmate Au! In which [Name] has Daredevil as a soulmate and Matt unwillingly wants [Name] in his life. However Fate does its job and always brings them together.

Chapter One.

It was a couple days after [Name] encountered the trio, once they left the coffee shop. Karen came up to the resister to pay. Luckily for Karen, the shop was fairly empty except one customer who sat at the corner too engrossed in their laptop to even know what happening around them. 

Karen questions [Name] about her injuries in a concerning way. [Name] had nothing to hide and told her the truth about the injuries and how she constantly gets them. In result, gaining sympathy from the blonde. Karen gives her a Nelson and Murdock card with her number on it. 

“Call or text if anything. I would love to be friends.” Karen smiles and pays for their drinks, thanking [Name] once again for the free box of donuts. 

It was a Friday night and Karen had invited [Name] out for a drink at Josie’s, “a girl’s night” as she called it. However [Name] began to notice newer cuts and bruises around her body hours prior so she had to cancel. It’s not that she was in any physical pain, however she didn’t want blood sleeping through her clothing while drinking alcohol.

So here she was on the floor around 1 in the morning, her thigh covered in dried up blood, she did a relatively good job on stitching her skin back together. A skill she had to develop rather quickly due to the surmount of open wounds she’d experience, she couldn’t imagine the pain her soulmate would be in currently. She’s gone to the hospital for the first few times her body was affected by the beatings. 

It was almost like a ritual so she opted on saving the hospital’s resources on someone else than her. Bad luck on her end for receiving such fatal wounds at times in return of internal love. An endless cycle it seemed. 

Mercifully, the wounds she sustained wouldn’t leave lasting scars on her skin. They fade over time and become invisible to the naked eye, almost as if they were never there. Anything her soulmate endures physically will appear, the invisible bond connecting their bodies.

Any bodily injuries that affects his senses will cause her to have the same reaction as her soulmate. Ranging from a collapsed lung to a head injury causing her ears to ring. Yet, this lack of physical pain doesn't diminish the impact it has on her emotional state.

On worst days, Marci would be called over immediately to babysit [Name] for the severe injuries. Just in case she passes out from the blood loss.  On two separate occasions, Marci had a the biggest scare of her life. It got the point where nothing helped and Marci insisted she go to the hospital. Felt like she was close to death without doing anything to get there. 

Marci insisted to find a way to stop the soulmate connection but to no avail. [Name] threw the idea to the trash and immediately disagreed causing arguments with the lawyer. However today was one of the easier days, there was no need to call Marci. 

She hisses out of instinct, though she couldn’t feel the pulsating sensation of the cut but she did feel the needle go through her skin. It was a sight that was unsettling to anyone who was able to witness. 

[Name] patched up her injury and slowly stood up,  careful enough not to reopen the stitches. She took some ibuprofen for the swelling and limped her way to bed. A couple of minutes gone by and she dozed off to sleep. 

It was once again bustling in the cafe, her staff handling all the business coming in and out. [Name] took the opportunity to sit in her office to oversee some inventory and what’s needed for her shop, also allowing her stitches to heal in the meantime. 

[Name] yawns, her arms stretching in the air. She didn’t get enough sleep, considering last night’s event. She hears a knock from her door, a certain knock that only her and Marci know. 

“You know, you can always walk on in if it’s you, Marci.” [Name] said before taking a sip of her overly sweet coffee. Some would say it’s not really coffee if there’s more sugar than coffee. “Yes I know, but you like your privacy. I know you well enough to know you don’t like it when people just barge in,” Marci responds.

”You barely respect my own boundaries,” [Name] deadpanned and rolled her eyes causing Marci to shrug. “True, but I’m not a bully.” Marci remarked. 

“You kind of are,” [Name] states and stopped her work. “What brings you here today? You miss me already?” She jokes, a small smile evident on face. 

“Actually, yes. I’m on my lunch break and I bought you your favorite. I know what it means when you’re hauled up in your office and it’s not good,” Marci explained, her face betrayed a sense of worry. Her worry wasn’t something that she can easily hide. 

In the moment, [Name] looked at Marci and empathized with her. Words didn’t need to be spoken in the room. It was like a silent conversation between the two, thoughts and feelings of worry and fear speaking from the heart. 

After a few moments of quiet silence, [Name] perked up the sound of her stomach growling. “So what did you bring for lunch?” She muttered softly. 

“Chinese. It’s always your go to.” Marci slid into the chair next to her next and placed the food on the table. “The spring rolls are mine, and no, you’re not having a bite.” Marci said and brought out the carton of fried rice and noodles, alongside two chopsticks. 

“We’re going to talk about it soon than later, [Name].” Marci told [Name], she didn’t have to say anything specific to hint at what she talking about. The air felt calmer and relaxed but there was still a sense of fear lingering. [Name] nodded and began to dig in her food. 

[fairestar]

Do u have any tips for disciplining yourself to stay in the state and persisting and sticking to the new story?

hi anon! well, first of all, you shouldn't pressure or force yourself to maintain a state (not saying you're doing it, just as a reminder), be gentle and make it fun instead! always remember that the state in which you dwell on the most is the one that manifests, but that doesn't mean you should go around thinking of it during all your waking hours until it makes your head hurt and ruins your mood. manifesting is supposed to be fun, not feel like a tedious task, so to avoid that i personally like to make it as simple, nice and quick as possible.

as for discipline and sticking to the new story, i'd suggest that whenever you're reminded of what you desire, just say an affirmation or visualise a very short scene (or whatever works best for you) that showcases the new story. picture something lovely that makes you feel good and makes it easy for yourself to sustain that feeling, because we all enjoy feeling good and we always want to go back to that nice feeling. for affirmations, i like to use “it is done”, i just say it once and let go, i don't continue thinking of it or obsessing over it.

for visualising here's an example: say you are trying to manifest waist-long hair and you're reminded of it, so you visualise something like the warm breeze sweeping through your hair and the feeling of its soft tips coming to rest again against your waist. take just a few seconds to visualise something nice and to tune yourself with the feeling of the wish fulfilled. make it in such a way that when you picture it you feel good and content, as if it were a little mood booster.

or you could simply decide to inhabit the state of the wish fulfilled. i think that's a good one when it comes to discipline and persisting, not only in your desire but in your abilities. ive been doing it a lot lately. being stern and saying “i am in the state of the wish fulfilled” when you're reminded of it and knowing that's enough, just decreeing, deciding which state you are currently inhabiting is more than enough because you hold all the power in the world and you can simply decide to use it.

don't let yourself think too hard or go around and around in your head when thinking of your desires and “what to do” about them. just do a quick simple thing that makes you feel good and fulfilled and go on with your day!

hope this helps!! ♡

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Thinking about a tidbit in this answer about Company structure that reiterates a tidbit from the Trustee Handbook as pictured in appendices for 1.03: that becoming Prime Consector makes one ("technically") a member of the Upper Trust.

In other words, the Prime Consector is a member of the Upper Trust independent of their Valor account specifically by virtue of their rank within the Company, as its highest officer. They are a member of the Upper Trust even if the number in their account does not meet this hypothetical Valor threshold that I assume exists.

I personally think it seems unlikely that most appointed to the position of Prime Consector would meet that threshold on their own, independently of their rank, but I don't imagine that it's difficult to hit that threshold once you're in the office and hold it down for a while. It's a position that affords one plentiful and constant opportunity to accrue Valor, just in the course of performing the role. However, that distinction of "technically" feels like it would, obliquely, pressure anyone in it to behave at least until they do meet that threshold independently.

We do know, through Spahr's own observation in 2.17, that Spahr's account is significant, enough to weather even "a big hit", and that it would take a lot to put him into debt. However, we also know that it's not SO significant that Imelda cannot easily eviscerate it if she put her mind to it, per 2.13. So, DOES Spahr meet the Upper Trust threshold on his own? Maybe he does, maybe he is indeed a member of the Upper Trust on the strength of his account. But, we don't know that—and what if he isn't?

It doesn't really matter because maintaining membership into the Upper Trust is clearly not among his concerns at this stage. (He has other concerns like trying to alleviate that increasing sense of guilt and dread that's been eating him alive lately.) However, that question does help sketch out what he's looking at here in terms of what his life looks like within the Trust after he is removed from the position, especially since there is currently a Valor freeze and if Spahr drops out of the Upper Trust, he is immediately subject to that freeze. He's still fairly young, only about thirty. The Upper Trust is probably asking him to retire. CAN he reasonably do that? If he potentially isn't Upper Trust on his own, independent of his rank as a Prime Consector, can the current state of his account sustain him retiring so young?

Again, the number in his account doesn't actually matter given the bent of his character arc. These are not the real concerns that truly plague and worry him at heart, about whether his account is strong enough to sustain the rest of his life if he is forced to retire now, but they are interesting questions to me in terms of framing what the options and roads before him are and in terms of contextualizing what he is being asked to do by the Upper Trust.

[muzzleroars]

Hello!

Enoch asker again!

With Enoch haveing brought the council the idea of tearing the light out of angels, could you imagine what it would be like for him to see Michaels failed fall?

I feel he'd be incredibly disappointed, not in the fact Micheal even did it but in the fact Micheal screwed it up so badly.

Enoch considering it a "Mockery of my art form"

How would Micheal react to meeting Enoch and Enoch's disappointment of Michaels failed fall?

ooouughhhhh this really gets me thinking about another dimension michael has with his current state, because i think you're right in how enoch would view his failure and, by extension, all the other angels imbued with this power. while the archangels enjoy high status and a specialized role in the choirs, there is still a hierarchy to be observed, and i find it likely that, in this case, michael would be seen just as a cherub who stepped far out of line. while michael attempts to insist this is god's gift to him, to survive his would-be fall, these other angels would believe the opposite - what he is now is just punishment for disrespecting this ritual and going above his station. he was arrogant enough to think he could complete such a delicate process on his own, an angel that does how have the finesse or the education to do so, and now he bears his shame for it. most of heaven, of course, doesn't know about michael's illness let alone how it came to be, but it would make sense any angels left in heaven that can excise the divine light do because...who else can the archangels approach for help? it's likely raphael's idea, when he admits he doesn't understand michael's condition, but convincing him to go takes a considerable amount of time. no, it's unlikely michael would be fully condemned as gabriel was - the council's slaughter is still weighing on everyone's mind and michael is privileged as the prince of heaven - but he knows, with a deep ache in his chest, that he will face angels with no pity for what he's done to himself.

michael would eventually relent, however, knowing that he must seek answers however he can to have any hope of saving his body and also knowing that what enoch would say, however harsh to him, may be what he needs to hear. because michael knows he's done wrong, he knows he foolishly played with fire and has suffered for it, and he deserves more than the guaranteed sympathy of his brothers (in michael's mind, punishment is never enough if it's not accompanied by admonishment). so he would go, making his case to explain why he did something so desperate and so out of character (he's always been a strict adherent of their hierarchy and enforced it down to its letter) - he left them to find god and only did this after all his other avenues had been exhausted. this was the last thing he could do. it's an emotional appeal, but i doubt it matters, as enoch would argue it clearly wasn't the last thing he could do...as he couldn't do it. if michael failed in finding god, the correct course of action would be to return to his post in heaven and carry out his responsibilities as the rest of them have. instead, he cleaved to his role as the hero and committed terrible blasphemy in the process.

it's a charge michael can't abide as god's most loyal servant, and i think he would become immediately volatile, reactive, indignant. he was the only one that went in search of god, he was the only one willing to sacrifice everything to bring him back, yet enoch will not give way to michael's notions of loyalty and nobility. this was a travesty, it shows all over his decaying body. he has made himself a zombie, and he is to blame for it entirely. god did not save him, he has simply condemned himself to life in death because of how he tore apart his own light, leaving it to limp on without the capacity to sustain his physical form. how base, how bizarre, for an angel to have real physicality, the body left behind when michael ripped up the very fire it was once made of. he did not handle god's work with care, he brutalized the primal source given to him, the one he shared with his brothers, and left behind a rapidly rotting body that never should have been. how is that not blasphemy? and michael has no answer, frozen for the first time in the unrelenting reality that he has sinned. of course, he knew he did....that was always the point, to sin....but he had cloaked himself so much in his own narrative of salvation of his body he is unprepared to view it for what it truly is. unprepared too, to have it seen so plainly by someone else. in this, i think he would retreat into repentance. he would ask what he can do, how can he make up for what he's done? he swears to take to his work, to devote his time in heaven to prayer, to penance, to understanding his offense. he would leave with a heavy sense of shame, and silently slips into several days of seclusion for introspection, the contemplation of his body and the sin it now bears. he would likely come out much worse for it

[lurxof--thxmaw]

🎵

Send “🎵“ and I’ll reply with a song that’s related to my muse and I’ll explain why

ON ANOTHER OCEAN － Fleeting Foxes

Oh, this song. This song is so Lady and Six core. This is the song that inspired Seafarers ((although the fic is named after another beautiful song that always makes me think of them as well)) and my go-to when I need to get into that Six & Lady feel. If I had to pick a song to make a LN animatic to, it'd be this one.

The context of the song itself relates to various themes. Running away from responsabilities, the struggles that come with opening up to new people, not trusting anyone, being afraid of judgement -- so on. It also has tons of very nice eye imagery. It's a beautifully written and executed song, I beg you to go listen to it and then come back to this post.

I interpret the first half of the song to be applicable to both of them, with lines such as 《 Biding your time on another ocean, falling into line in the cold and dim 》 reminding me of the Maw and them both adhering to their respective roles in its sustainance. "Biding your time" is an expression I particularly love because it means waiting for something: the Lady waiting for Six to come find her. That's what the ticking clock in her room is, at the end of the day, isn't it? In the context of Seafarers, I named the first chapter after this line because the Lady is waiting for Six to kill her -- which eventually doesn't end up happening.

^^ ((《 Was [s]he not quite as you had conceived [her]? 》; this line will also apply to Six later on, when she realizes that the Lady is much closer to her in nature than she is to the other monsters and it deeply unnerves her. 《 Did the colors of the light hide the fire in the eyes? 》 also applies to this context as the Lady did not expect Six to rebel to the cycle [and later on to her] and gets angry at her for it. During the same instance, Six also finds herself afraid of the Lady's sudden display of emotion because up to a few seconds ago, the Lady was going to give up, but now she -- much like her -- is reactig driven by survival instinct. Most importantly, this is the first time Six sees a slither of humanity in an adult and the fact that it's so close to her own, again, destabilises her. Everything they do is completely unexpected for the other and as much as they wish it was incomprehensible, they always find points that ties them to the other and it stings.))

The two lines preceeding the chorus, 《 Wherever you run, you see all you leave behind you/you see only eyes behind you 》 is again applicable to both of them, and how they literally and figuratively cut their pasts away from their current selves, and yet it always finds a way to catch up to them one way or another. And of course, the more literal eyes they live under, always watching them.

The titular "other ocean" in this context is each other. They are the other ocean the other can't seem to open up to. Something that is so foreign and yet so familiar.

The second verse of the song is more easily divided into Lady and Six bits. I see it as a conversation between each other and reflections on themselves. The first verse is VERY Lady talking to Six as it states:

《 So, do you think the smoke won't enfold you? 》, referring of course to the ending of LN I, but also to the fate that has bestowed the Lady and the ones before her. To the madame, Six's refusal to go through with her fate is the uncomfortable demonstration that she too had that same power. And instead she just chose to follow it because it was easier. The Lady wouldn't give up her position for anything in the world, but even then, this freedom Six has makes her incredibly angry. She is convinced that eventually all this will catch up go Six. It continues with, 《 Or there'll be someone waiting for you, out in the distance then? 》, which is meant to be a derision as the Lady and Six both know that there is no one and nothing waiting for Six off the Maw. No place can ever provide the comfort and safety the Maw does. Whatever is out there will be infinitely worse. There is no certainty, no guarantee that she will live: nothing at all. Six is completely alone and defenseless anywhere that is not the Maw.

The next verse is from Six's perspective. It is a plead, sort of, but also an acknowledgement.

《 If only anything could change you.》 This line resonated very strongly with me while writing because I think it encapsulates the feeling of "child acting like an adult and adult acting like a child" perfectly. In the context of Seafarers, the Lady is essentially throwing a very elegant tantrum. On the other hand, Six is reflecting. Her plan is to escape the Maw, yes, and to do that she needs to study a way out. Doing so causes her to inevitably come to "know" the Lady and, while their similarities cause her to be incredibly uncomfortable and upset, it also creates an inexplicable feeling of kinship.

Wanting to be understood is human. And Six is a nine year old girl who has lived through the unimaginable. None of her peers has gone through what she has. But the Lady did. Out of everyone, she is the only one who could ever understand Six. If only they could see eye to eye. Six is young, she doesn't know how to put this feeling to words and even if she did, she doesn't want to admit it as she knows it will be immediately rejected: it's frustrating as it is sad. 《 If only you knew what you claim to, if only every sign you cling to -- if only they were so. 》

I find the 《 And I won't bleed out if I know me 》 line to be incredibly Ladycore because... the Lady doesn't know herself. And she will bleed out eventually because of it.

The 《 Don't deny me! 》 comes from both ends. Six asks for the Lady to not deny her (by extension, her own past self she sees in her, as well as the yellow raincoat they both used to share), and the Lady orders Six not to deny their shared fate and the legacy of the Lady of the Maw.

The 《 I will lead it in the morning, I won't even if I know it 》 is Six eventually trying to come to terms with her future once the Lady is gone. A part of her has been irrequivocably changed from the experience (( 《 You [Six] ended up too strained 》 )) but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't want to be on the Maw. She doesn't want to be the next Lady. Even if she was to try like her predecessor tried to manipulate her into, she would still crave freedom. She would always look for somewhere else to go.

On one hand, she has her duties and responsibilities towards the children of the Maw; on the other, herself. She has to let go of one to let the other survive. And suddenly she is in the Lady's shoes, back when she was still named Five. The intentions of the two are very different though: while Six wants to look out for her peers, Five only cared about her own protection. But the outcome might still be the same; at the end of her journey, Six might no longer be Six.

《 We're in the eye sometimes. Too young... too young... 》

[astraystayyh]

hey. i'm not here to lecture or justify anything. but i've read what you wrote and i feel you might be denying the fact that not all israelis are the same person. some of us don't support (and never have) this government and its current and past actions. there have been gigantic protests against bibi netanyahu long before the taking of the hostages. me and my family have been going to them for years. just please take this into account when talking about "the israelis". thank you

*this ask does not, in any way, intended to divert any importance from the horrors being committed in gaza. it just is important that you take this into account. you can also (obviously) choose not to answer this publicly. my intentions trylu are just that you think about this.*

good for you if you oppose an ethnostate that was built on the bloodshed of Palestinians. i hope your protests against your government extend to recognizing that Israel shouldn't exist in the first place, and advocating for a free Palestine. Because that is the only stance you can have that doesn't make you a zionist. It is far too late for neutrality, if you simply oppose Netanyahu's policies but will still endorse a new Israeli government then that is not enough, it means you are complicit with a genocidal state.

All of this transcends Netanyahu's government because he isn't the root of the problem— Israel's very foundation is built on colonization, oppression and ethnic cleansing, it is soiled with Palestinians' blood, long before Netanyahu ever was a prime minister. So the focus shouldn't be on who's the "face" of the Israeli state, but rather the core hateful ideology that dictates it. Plus, any nation whose existence requires multiple massacres throughout the years to sustain it, should simply not exist.

And i am well aware that there are Israelis/Jews who unequivocally support the liberation of Palestine— that should be the norm. I, or anyone who supports a free Palestine shouldn't be acclaimed for it. It is literally the human thing to call for the freedom of a nation that has been oppressed in the worst ways for more than seven decades.

[galaxythixf]

@ofsavior said: “What if they kissed?” NobaMaki Send "What if they kissed" for a hypothetical scenario with no strings attached || Accepting

The thought scratches the back of her mind as she sits, waiting for Maki to come back to an otherwise empty room when the sun sets and their job finally sits at rest. Thankfully with minimal damage to count she can't be bothered to think about the pain on her side that dulls having already been treated and instead her mind wanders to the obvious. There was something there, something that wasn't months ago. She isn't dense enough to ignore something had changed between them and through gentle nudges and bold actions she'd secured at least a fraction of what Maki seemed to think of the difference. She was either indifferent to it or hiding her real thoughts about it. Either way, Nobara wanted answers she wasn't sure she would get through verbal beckoning and with no intention to elaborate, she plots alone.

Legs cross while she sits by the window as promised and the lollipop she had before had been chewed down to the last of a stick that her teeth currently gnawed at. Fingers pinch the end of of it as it bends and the thoughts she contemplates on stir within her mind, trying to come to a decision on what she wanted to do. It'd be a waste to come this far with nothing to show, she thought but gauging Maki's feelings based off of a lack of reaction wasn't exactly sustainable either. Communication wasn't a strong suit for either of them, not that she would ever admit it.

She finally hears the door shut rather abruptly behind her and swiveling in her spot to look at an irritated Maki she listens to her frustrations roll off her tongue as soon as it's shut. The bag in her hand ushered to the bed that still lay untouched by anything minus the now bag of mystery sitting upon it. Snacks, she assumed, but Nobara didn't really have an interest in what she bought. There are a few beats for her to get a word in but she neglects to, opting to listen to her a little longer rather than butting in with her own selfish thoughts. It's a luxury she wouldn't explicitly state she gave but something she prided herself in regardless. The stick that occupied her now tossed in the bin as the other speaks, and light eyes yet again make their way to Maki.

"Maki," she finally says, waiting for the other to acknowledge her rather than whatever had managed to rouse her. It's nothing she can state verbally so she makes her decision to close the distance about as casual as she can until a few feet are all that separate them. Minutes prior to this she hadn't actually thought about the weight this held and how much of it she felt now. Nerves rattled with anticipation on a first she hadn't expected to be in the middle of the upperclassman's room but where else? She thinks. Another step and she's nearly flush against her, surprised Maki hadn't grown suspicious enough to create more space between them but she's surprisingly trusting for someone that was so hard to read sometimes.

A hand finds its way to the jacket of Maki's uniform and fingers wrap themselves around it as if it would ground her. It doesn't but it's a start. Neglecting to look her directly in the eye she lets her fingers fiddle with the buttons that line it, gliding up without a word and her expression kept flat even when hints of color rise to fill her cheeks. It's silent and she knows how she wants to fill it but the commitment is still hard to make. Thumb flicks the nearest button as if it meant anything other than a distraction and somewhere between her actions her other hand joins, eventually abandoning the jacket to snake themselves around her shoulders and then looking at her is inevitable. She can't avoid it any longer and she doesn't, choosing to let any questions die on their lips before they had a chance to fall. Raising on her toes makes it possible when she can feel Maki's lips on her own and eyes flutter shut to let the message speak for itself.

I want more.

[hero-israel]

I feel a little frustrated at my fellow zionists at the moment, because I see people saying "we have no partner for peace" (in all the forms you can say that) and yep 110% correct it is very clear that Hamas does not want peace, the PA doesn't want peace (in a different way) there's no movement for peace out of the Palestinian streets etc so yeah totally no partner for peace

but I hate thats everyone's stopping point! we're Zionists! this is ISRAEL we don't just take impossible and say "oh well" we make facts on the ground! we make the desserts boom! we bring a nation and a language make after 2,000 years, come on! The Palestinians don't want to work with us? great whats our plan? whats our future? what we gonna do? I just feel like everyone on the left, center, and center-right are just kinda head in the sand about it, vaguely holding out for one day a Palestinian side that wants to return to Camp David as a jumping off point while denying thats what they're doing. While the far right is smoking crack about holding onto every square inch of the land and all 3 million people who violently do not wish to be ruled by Jews, and they also don't have a plan for those people just kinda "don't worry about it" and using the status quo to try to creep onto any spot they can find without any real regard for if it's defensible

The most likely future is more of the same, with the status quo being maintained as-is for decades simply because it can. I've been reading for many years about how "the status quo is unsustainable, the occupation is unsustainable," when it's exactly the opposite, it's VERY sustainable, and it has outlasted its most important critics (the Soviet bloc, the Arab League boycott, the "Three No-s," "Zionism-is-racism," the rules-based international order, etc). For better and for worse there is no need for urgent intervention, and it makes the most practical sense to view I/P as a chronic condition to be managed. That means REALLY sticking to the status-quo: not annexing anything, not starting new settlements, not broadening current ones, not legalizing outposts. If Palestinians get a two-stater government in 5 years or 105 years, let Israel be waiting there for the signature and handshake, with everything Palestinians could have had 4 years earlier or 104.

I see the appeal, from a sense of moral rightness, in Israel unilaterally proclaiming what territory it must have and then departing from the rest, which would then become a Palestinian state. It would be a dramatic and noble gesture, and it would certainly fail and result in a much bigger Gaza surrounding Israel's major cities.

This is a partial failure of the Zionist vision - that they can't extricate themselves from this grinding brutalizing tension, that they can't find a divorce both sides can live with. I would sooner accept that partial failed principle than widespread real death.

[aworldforastage]

currently reading: Clear and Muddy Loss of Love/泾渭情殇 by 请君莫笑

This is a loooooong novel, but surprisingly I'm almost halfway through without taking a break from it.

Premise: Qiyan Agula wants to take revenge on the Wei Kingdom for destroying her tribe and family. She pretends to be a man named Qi Yan, hoping to enter the Wei Court through the Imperial Exams to dismantle the government from the inside. However, the Wei Emperor grants her a marriage with his beloved daughter, Princess Jingnu. This new position complicates Qiyan's revenge plan, and also forces her to build a complicated relationship with the naive but sweet princess.

The Wei kingdom is newly founded by the current Emperor, and the chaotic state of its court and gentry reflects the messy power brokering that stabilized the new dynasty. The Emperor does not have a good succession plan, nor an effective approach to governing. There are ruthless games of power and backstabbing in elite politics, and dire threats against survival of the common people.

The political intrigue is pretty interesting and keeping me hooked on the novel. The style reminds me of Joyful Reunion. Most of the plots are not super intricate or complex, but there are a lot of plotting, deception, and long games. It's a fairly serious attempt to explore the motivations and implications of war, political reform, social inequality, and (autocratic) leadership.

Qi Yan is pretty brutal. When I say she is not a good person, I mean she is actively ruining the lives of people who haven't done anything to her. She gradually realizes her revenge plan is causing immense pain and harm to people who never hurt her, but so far she is trying to internalize and justify it instead of changing her priorities.

I feel sort of conflicted about Jingnu. She is kind, sweet, talented, but only this way because she is a sheltered and favored royal, oblivious to the legacy of bloodshed and oppression that has built and sustained her life of privilege. The narrative has mostly exempt her from the dire experiences and circumstances that has forced other characters to break their morals and principles, but we get to look forward to how she'll handle the big betrayal/reveal waiting for her in the future.

The GL romance developed very organically but also ... not very GL. They started in an arranged royal marriage so they are constantly performing these rituals of marriage without any emotions attached. It's two people trying to live together peacefully falling for the other person's strength and kindness. One of them doesn't know her "husband" is a woman and is not thinking of this like a GL or w/w relationship. The other person, to be fair, has much bigger problems with this relationship than her partner's gender.

and some other random iinitial thoughts:

old Emperor Nangong is really a *string of expletive*

.... I did not expect [spoilers] to be our first lesbian relationship in this nove... ╭( ๐_๐)╮

... I really did not expect [more spoilers] to become a long term lesbian relationship ... (⚆ᗝ⚆)

... that awkward moment when all the points in the love dodecahedron is on the same family tree, but it's an extended traditional Chinese clan so I guess they are not that related (●__● )

Princess Jingnu you have many very good reasons to hate and be disappointed in Qi Yan but so far the one you found out and fixated on is the one thing she actually didn't do...

but seriously how are you married for SEVEN years, half of which is actually more-than-amicable, but still not know your "husband" is a woman?

[system-of-a-feather]

anon that was such an insane thing to say. . . like u do realize that gatekeepers exist right. right. you do realize that if an alter really was that dangerous, someone else in the system would've likely done something abt it. right.

Like I mean even beyond gatekeepers, it's just honestly a huge misunderstanding on both how 1) switching works 2) how amnesia in DID works and 3) the extremely wide breath and variation of experience between people who have DID.

Also largely incorrect understanding on how trauma-based "psychopathy" and antisocial behavior works and functions but I'm largely less academically read on that topic so I'll refrain from saying anything more on that other than that from a personal experience level.

Like honestly, I hate to give the anon any validation on those claims - but I also hate pushing the "people with DID are innocent uwu buns that can't hurt anyone", cause we used to honestly actually be worthy of being on a watch list during the peak of our survival as teens. We had parts that wanted to do and planned to do atrocious shit, but in the end we still didn't do any of the bad shit cause even then there is a lot of time between planning and doing it and a lot of time for someone with DID to cycle to a more stable and sensible part or to talk themselves out of it. Atrocities aren't something you really do just in a "hmmm felt bored decided to do murder".

(Not saying that those who do experience that feeling aren't telling the truth or anything, but getting to the point of actually committing to doing that crap doesn't happen in a vacuum and as a sudden spark out of nowhere and there are a lot of places for an individual to stop.)

I'm firmly against othering and ostracizing traumatized individuals who have had the experiences of very genuinely considering very morally bad and atrocious things because that shit happens when you are raised and used to surviving in a world of atrocious, horrible, and morally bad things. I feel the excessive hard push of "all people with DID are innocent buns" is harmful to those that have actually been "dangerous individuals" as a defense mechanism. It promotes the idea of thought crimes and really encourages those that learned really problematic / harmful ways of survival to be discouraged from seeking help and healing.

People with DID are not more likely than anyone else to harm another, people with DID are more likely to be a victim of abuse than the average person, those are true and good statements; but "People with DID would never hurt someone" and adjacent sounding statements we personally don't like because people with DID still do hurt people sometimes cause its a very heterogenous group with a lot of different methods of surviving post an abusive environment.

But I digress, maybe someone will shoot us for admitting to having been really fucked up in highschool (will not elaborate because that's not necessary and I'm not gonna trot those proudly in public beyond that in hindsight they were obviously fucked up and we acknowledge that) and stating that people with DID can be abusive, dangerous, and harmful; but not anymore than anyone else can be abusive dangerous and harmful

Antisocial abuse doesn't exist, Borderline abuse doesn't exist, Narcissistic abuse doesn't exist, Histrionic abuse doesn't exist, Post traumatic abuse doesn't exist, DID abuse doesn't exist but people with ASPD, BPD, NPD, HPD, PTSD, and DID can still be abusive and thats an important dichotomy to be able to hold up together at the same time to validate all survivors imo.

Either way, I digress. If people dislike this post they can shoot us if they want but like, whatever man - we're just living life now with dreams of making a sustainable commune to feed homeless people. If yall (not at you, 'yall' as in anyone who is upset by this post) wanna judge us for unnamed atrocities we planned to do in highschool over where we are currently in life and where we plan to go, then thats on yall.

-Riku

[mxllitiam]

WHEN: day seven, captives' cellblock CLOSED for @subsiist

Amara's head is spinning. They only let her feel the pains they want her to feel. That is to say her hand looks almost completely healed now, though she'd hardly call the deadly attachment at the end of her arm a hand. It's a monstrosity, a conjunction of spiky fingers glued to a palm, the detailed work incredibly intricate but no fitting for someone like her. Her hands that once held her wife, hands that have helped people in her district, that have given countless pets to the backs of stray cats. Amara mourns the loss of something once taken for granted.

She almost doesn't feel the healing pains of the surgery anymore, she doesn't get electrocuted by the new hand's current even when she can tell it has been turned on, by its buzzing. But she can feel everything else. She feels the beatings they give her in interrogation, she feels the pit in her stomach from whatever little, nutritionless food they give them. She feels thirsty, she feels tired. Exhaustion is what comes to her first, after spending a week inside the arena, on guard the entire time. She didn't even have any energy left in her body when she arrived, and now everything's piling up.

She's taken to sleeping sitting up, leaning against one of the walls of her cell. It's not sustainable, but she manages to doze off a few times, seize at least some minutes of a passed out state before she catches herself. It's better than whatever that bed does to her. She's dozing off again when she's startled awake by the sound of the cell next to her closing. She scrambles to rise from the ground and look through the window they share.

Peeta has been gone for an awfully long time, much longer than he usually is. She doesn't have a way to count the time in here, but she'd even guess it was longer than any of them have been gone for. "Peeta?" She calls quietly. The guard that brought him over has already left, not giving any of them a second glance. "What... happened?" She can feel something is off -- it's in his posture, it's in the air around him, it's something. Amara fights back the goosebump that raises the hairs on her arms. "Talk to me?"

[onewomancitadel]

Okay so Big W (kind of like Walmart/Target for yanks) now has a book section for BookTok:

and now basically I'm convinced that the book publishing industry has moved entirely from traditional advertising to relying on social media and established media followings to advertise books - and virality right now is something you can capitalise on. This might sound banal, but the reality is that advertisement makes up an enormous chunk of most modern media's budget - it's alleged that half of Cyberpunk 2077's budget comprised advertising alone. (This is especially true of video games, but seems to be the case for film as well).

So the direction that advertising shifts to is really important because a) it speaks to the current state of the publishing industry and who is buying what type of books (e.g. romance has one of the most loyal and reliant book reader base), and b) it speaks to the priority of the publishing industry - e.g. there is more weight put on authors to advertise their own work, there is more of a push of works that can 'go viral' - whatever that embodies is somewhat of a black box.

The reason I'm sceptical is because chasing 'virality' seems like it's setting up some longterm issues with book publishing - writing for virality hasn't exactly bestowed journalism with any more integrity; it's actively diminished the practice.

Part of what makes me even more overall sceptical is that I don't think the trend of fic authors becoming published authors is an entirely positive one. I know you might call me crabs-in-a-bucket about it, but I think that this is bad portents for fandom in the long run. First of all - fic authors are more likely to have an established fanbase that follows their specific work than someone simply trying to get published. Fanfic is a way to get yourself noticed easily - and it is usually, almost always, borne of pure creative intent expressed in a shared community. If traditional advertising for the publishing industry is almost nonexistent now, then authors with established fanbases who'll buy their books are desirable. I obviously think that this can lead to bad things indeed. Does this mean that the way to become a published author is going to be through becoming a fic author? Does this mean fandom is going to attract writers who want to monetise their fanbase? Does this nullify the creative purity of fandom? It just doesn't sit right with me.

It no doubt seems like a positive thing on the face of it - very few make money off their writing, let alone to sustain themselves, and many view the publishing industry as a dying industry; that there's been somewhat of a renaissance with BookTok, BookTube, Goodreads, etc. is perhaps a blessing in truth. It's hard to think ill of writers who choose to pivot their fandom accounts and transform them into professional ventures - particularly if your ship is considered unserious, your fanfic embarrassing to talk about in polite company, etc. Being seriously published is a way to legitimise and justify all of that. (I'm sure if anyone is reading this they felt the 'creative purity' line was silly).

But I don't think it speaks to good things in the publishing industry nor do I think it speaks to good things in the future of fandom. I don't think that authors should have to have a social media presence to advertise their own work - the whole point of publishing is that you're providing a creative service in exchange for professional endorsement and operations to realise your work. It just seems unprofessional to me. I suppose from a comic angle, the best authors are usually the kooky and asocial ones - forcing authors into a social role feels borderline cruel.

The virality is perhaps the angle that most troubles me. I agree that genre fiction and work of its tangential variety often ask for a gestalt of tropes - and to say that the hope of virality isn't more of the same thing is silly - but there is clearly a difference between genre convention and creating something to be a work that makes people talk and is something that can move around quickly on an online platform. I don't think there should be the expectation that your work is tailored to virality as a form of advertising.

Word of mouth is the other way around - word of mouth talks about a work because it is good, not that a work is created to be word of mouth. Does that make sense?

I don't think any of this will be talked about for a while, though. For the publishing industry I think right now it's do or die, especially in the age of ebooks and people not being aware you can hire library books even if you can't buy them. But at some point there's going to be a discussion about the advertising onus being on authors when it should be on publishers, and the harm that virality will do to books in the long run, the same as it's affected journalism and Internet media. Virality in some ways is essentially large-scale trolling - it's not necessarily banking on something going around because it's a good thing, but it does catch your attention, and you want to be included in on the conversation whether it makes you happy or angry - and that's not in itself a good or justifiable thing either.