#it feels super gross for another character (and the story in general) to direct her/our sympathy onto ketil in that moment

[kareenvorbarra]

hmmmmm ketil anime backstory bad

[numberonephantompizza1]

Poppy Fanfic: “Ask Her”

For context: This is a fanfic I wrote in order to join the Poppy Milk dev team and show off my writing skills. Since the callout at the time said we’d need to write a lot of sidequests, I wanted to ask the question of what a Poppy-centered side-quest would be like. I got the idea that it would be from an Asker’s perspective, and everything sort of came naturally after that. Even though I’m on the dev team right now, it’s not canon to Omega Timeline: Poppy’s Story and even has some inaccuracies that contradict canon. With that said, please feel free to read the story below the cut.

---

You noticed something very different inside your room when you woke up. The lights were off and the sun hadn’t yet risen, but there was a certain… aura, coming from your door. You were filled with a certain trepidation, but… you approached it. It was hard to see in the light, but it looked… grey. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stepped through...

...and found about the last person you would’ve expected. The spitting image of Frisk - CORE!Frisk, that was, looking up at you, in the middle of a white void.

“Wh- You’re real?!” you asked, dumbfounded.

“Of course I’m real. Have you been taking all this multiverse stuff for granted? Everything is real somewhere,” Core answered, simply. 

“I… I don’t… and you, me…” you panted, starting to feel a small panic attack coming on.

“Focus,” Core snapped their fingers, grounding you back in reality. Okay, this was happening now.

“Let’s get down to business. Simply: you don’t like me. And I don’t like you. But we BOTH like Poppy. Poppy, my dear, sweet angel… has unfortunately recently come to the realization that Askers ALSO exist in the multiverse. And now she wants to do a ‘meet n’ greet’ with one of her fans. Trust me, I TRIED to talk her out of it, but she can be darn persuasive when she wants to be. And as you’re now realizing, that’s where you come in. 

“I wanna make you a deal. You play along with whatever Poppy wants until she gets bored of this. If you’re on your best behavior - and that means, don’t give her anything bad, don’t tell her anything you KNOW she shouldn’t know, don’t use any magic, and be a general good influence - if you play nice, in exchange, I will allow you to hang out with ANY resident of the Omega Timeline. 

“Want to spend a day full of wacky hijinks with a Papyrus, or even an Underswap Sans? Consider it done. Want to know how Deltarune Chapter 2 plays out ahead of time? I know a Susie with your name on it. Whatever you want, so long as you play by the rules, and don’t ask for anyone obviously ridiculous. So… do we have ourselves a deal?”

You contemplated that offer, and everything that was happening, trying to suppress your inner urge to geek out for just a few moments. The Omega Timeline, Poppy, and all the AU’s you could think of and more were real. And you just got an invitation to visit them.

“Yeah, of course!” you nodded excitedly, though your enthusiasm only seemed to make Core more anxious.

“Don’t make me regret this…” Core sighed, as the whiteness seemed to melt away into a cozy-looking house with wooden floors and lime walls, where you were standing directly outside of a white door. Core seemed to have disappeared.

Technically, there was nothing stopping you from exploring. So you did just that. You walked up to a shelf with some family photos. One was a photo of Poppy, Core, Dusted and Rust all together, in some meadow, looking happy. At least, you assumed Dusted and Rust were happy, they didn’t show up well on camera. There was another photo of Poppy alone, looking somewhat younger than she did on the blog, seated on a chair in a photo that looked far more staged. She held an actual poppy flower in her hand and smiled brightly.

You opened the cabinet doors, curious of what knick-knacks you might find in there. Some crayons, a few random glass cups, some art by 3-year-old Poppy that was so poorly done its meaning was hard to decipher, and a locked box. You reached for the box--

“Getting a bit sidetracked, aren’t we?”

You jolted up, and faced Core behind you. Even though they were child-sized, they crossed their arms with the poise and authority of a stern parent. You laughed anxiously. “Ahahaha… ahaha… ha……..”

“...Strike one.” Core said, and vanished. The meaning of that was all-too clear. Deciding not to dilly dally any longer, you went to the room you suspected to be Poppy’s, and knocked. 

“Just a sec!” Poppy said, and opened the door. She looked up at you, and gasped. “Wow, Granpa really did come through…!” She twirled excitedly. “You must be my adoring fan, aren’t you?” she asked.

You stared down at the girl in stunned silence.

“To be honest, I kinda figured you’d be some gray guy with sunglasses, but that’s kinda silly in hindsight. How you doin’?” She asked that last line in a mock accent as you continued to stare.

“Baby,” you said.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you quickly tried to change the subject. “Yeah, it’s… y’know, it’s great to be here…” You clasped your hands together, biting your lip. You were in an Undertale AU, faced with the AU granddaughter of another AU character. You still weren’t entirely over that. Was this fever dream? Fandom heaven, or fandom hell?

“I know! Once I heard you guys weren’t from the Omega Timeline, I realized I hadn’t met even ONE of my fans… even if you guys are super annoying some of the time.” 

“Uhhh, yeah…” you wondered if you should apologize on behalf of the askers who put Poppy in the hospital that one time. Then again, it seemed kind of awkward, and it might have been best not to bring that up while Core was watching, which was always. Looking down at the cutesy girl, it was almost tempting to pull her into a hug, but you managed to keep your composure. 

“I wanted to do something a little more special than just some sorta interview, though, because you ask me questions all the time anyways,” Poppy said. “Granpa said you’ve never been to the Omega Timeline before, so I wanna give you the big tour!” Poppy went to the door. “I’m gonna be outside when you’re ready!” She left the room.

Seeing the empty room in front of you, you were tempted to snoop again, but you’d learned your lesson after last time. You headed straight out after Poppy.

You couldn’t help but gasp in awe of the serenity of the great outdoors as you were beckoned to it. You’d been outside before, obviously, but everything just looked so… nice. The blue sky, the grassy grounds, the ornate buildings… you’ve seen this place in pixel art and a couple drawings before, but seeing it with your own eyes was another story. And the next thing for you to nearly faint at was seeing the Undertale characters running around, Sanses, Undynes, Frisks, even goat moms. 

Poppy smiled. “...It’s nice, isn’t it? I KNEW taking you on a tour was a good idea.” She smirked. “Now remember, just because this is a meet-up doesn’t mean it’s free, and there WILL be a fee at the end of our ride.”

“...Uh… I left my wallet at home,” you said, patting your pockets, “And I don’t have any, uh... ‘G,’ I think. Unless the G stands for ‘Gratitude,’ amiright?” you did finger guns.

“G stands for Gold,” Poppy corrected you bluntly, unamused. She returned to her chipper attitude just as quickly, though. “Now, let me show you around!” She led you down the street. 

Walking with her, seeing so many versions of your favorite characters in the flesh, walking around… well, the temptation to talk to SOME of them was irresistible, Core be damned. You did resolve not to go too far off-track, but you shared some words with the folks you passed by, Poppy thankfully stopping each time you did. You met two Frisks - one boy, one ambiguous - an Underswap Undyne, a human version of Toriel, and surprisingly, a version of Princess Peach.

You and Poppy approached an elegant fountain, stood upon proudly by a statue of a mustachio’d CORE!Frisk. “This is the Timeline Plaza! It’s sort of the local park, where people meet up to do... stuff. Just hang out. Make a picnic. Play ball. All that good park-y stuff, y’know? And there’s stores in all directions, so it’s pretty good.” She proudly showed off her home to you, with a smile.

You talked to more on the way to the next place. An Inverted Fate Papyrus. A weird Ralsei who said his name was “Noyno.” An Asgore wearing a hoodie, who you assumed was swapped with Sans. (Poppy did scold you a little bit for this, telling you that just because someone has a hoodie you shouldn’t assume they’re swapped. You apologized.)

“This is Grillby’s! One of them, anyways. The nearest one to my house. It’s pretty good if you want an OK burger. Sanses love the place, though. It’s… kind of unhealthy. And a little gross.” Poppy said. “Especially when they just drink… raw… ketchup.”

“Can’t handle a little ketchup?” you smiled mischievously. “We drink it by the gallon back in my universe,” you lied.

“...I really hope you’re joking,” Poppy said, alarmed.

“Am I?” you smiled brighter.

“...W-well, we’re not going in there, so you can FORGET about drinking that much ketchup!” Poppy said, afraid of the sheer power of your ketchup-drinking.

You and Poppy moved onto the next spot. You met an Underswap Alphys who seemed to be trapped in a red-and-gold palette. You met a robot dressed as a circus ringmaster, who claimed to be a Chara. You met a Dummy dressed in a Frisk shirt. (You didn’t assume it was swapped with Frisk this time, which turned out to be a mistake, because it was.) Poppy stared at you awkwardly now, wondering why you were talking to all these random strangers. Finally, you and Poppy reached your next destination.

“The theater! Where we show off all the greatest hits! Including MY movie, which, not to brag, but it’s--”

Except, you’d been distracted by a hyperdeath Asriel, and were ignoring Poppy for the moment.

“...” Poppy spoke up. “That’s what I don’t get about you.”

“Huh?” that seemed to wake you up, and you looked at her. 

“Everytime it’s always, ‘have you met Underswap Sans,’ or ‘have you met JangoTale Frisk,’ or some other weird thing. You always ask that. But… they’re just people. Why do you always assume I know some random Sans or Frisk or someone?”

“I…” you were a bit taken aback. “...I don’t… we don’t assume you know them, they’re just… they’re just important.” 

“Important?” She asked. “...I-I mean, yeah, EVERYONE’s important, but, I don’t really get what you mean…”

“They’re all--” You paused, trying to collect your thoughts, think of everything you knew from the blog, and tried to actually talk to her. “...They’re like friends to me. Kinda.”

“...You guys are friends with them? I thought you were stuck in your world…” she frowned.

“No, it’s like-- I’m not ‘friends’ with Underswap Frisk, or-- or Storyshift Frisk, or Shifty or whatever, I’m just friends with… Frisk.”

...Poppy stared at you like you just said the ground was turning to jelly, or something equally bafflingly inane. “...I… think you’re confused. Look, sometimes newcomers struggle with this. Your Frisk isn’t the only Frisk--”

“I know! It’s… You don’t get it. This world, these worlds are so special and creative, and they mean a lot to me. I know we can be really edgy, and I know we ask weird questions about Dusted and Rust, but that’s all because… because...” you paused.

Poppy looked, seeming upset about hearing her siblings mentioned in the context of ‘edgy’ questions, not seeing what you were seeing. Core, standing behind her, holding up a hand signal.

The number two.

You were getting carried away. You overstepped.

“...Um… I’m sorry.” You pulled her into a hug as Core vanished. “There’s really no reason for us to ask those questions. We can just be dumb sometimes.”

“...” She hugged back. “Yeah, it’s okay. I knew you guys were super weird and dumb before I convinced Granpa to let you in here, so I guess I should’ve seen this coming,” Poppy smiled, regaining her confidence as you did your best to not be offended at being called weird and dumb.

“Okay! I think I have just one last stop in mind to cap this tour off on a high note! Literally, hehehe…” She giggled mischievously. This time, you didn’t stop to talk to others, following her directly as you approached a peak overlooking the town. For yet another time, and probably the last, you couldn’t help but ogle at the town’s beauty. “Pretty good, right?” She sat down.

“Ha… with all the climbing, I was worried we’d fall down a mountain,” you joked. Poppy seemed to roll her eyes, as you sat beside her. “...I guess I get how you can call this place home. I mean, once I stop nerding out, anyways. You don’t see stuff like this in my… reality.”

“Just gallons and gallons of ketchup, huh?” she commented. You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah.”

And you two just stared into the distance for a while. ...She wasn’t just a character. She was a human being.

...Or, technically just a ‘being,’ scratch the human part. Still, you felt a bit desensitized to all this. And so did she. You related in that way.

“I can’t say you exactly passed with flying colors, but you fulfilled your end of the agreement well enough.”

Without any warning, you were back in a white void with CORE!Frisk, just like before. You almost forgot about the deal you made, what with all the time you spent with Poppy. You stood.

“Uh… yeah. So, my reward…” you drifted off, remembering the offer Core gave you. The chance to meet just about any AU character of your imagining… or at least, any that would be peaceful enough to be in the Omega Timeline. Which still left a WIDE variety of options…

Who did you want to see? What mattered most to you?

...

Thinking deeply… you told Core their name.

“...Oh. Really? Well, I guess it makes sense for you that you’d want to see them,” Core remarked. “I can’t guarantee they’ll give you what you’re looking for, but a deal’s a deal. Let’s head off.”

You and Core went somewhere else.

---

And that’s all she wrote! If you read this far, thank you. Working on the game since then has been fun, and I think you’ll like what we have in store. Until then, ciao.

[monkey-network]

Why Shrek IS The Best

Tastes can change, you know? And it’s less about “What’s good about this now compared to before”, more of “Why would you like this now as opposed to before”? Unless allergic, you didn’t get why dark cola or hot chips tasted bad to you as a child, but when you grow up you can come to understand and appreciate it. Shouldn’t pressure yourself, that makes things worse, but things can certainly align in helping this newfound respect you get for something you’d believe you would never want again. That really is where I stand with Dreamworks’ Shrek. As a kid, while Toy Story left me traumatized for a while, Shrek left me side-eyeing with how crass and ugly it looked and I never wanted to think of it. But, as I grew up to respect animation a lot more, 2018 was where I looked back at Shrek and soon come to understand how wrong I was and how much greatness it has that I now consider it an all time great. And with it getting inducted into the Library of Congress, I thought it was finally time to present what I see in this film. Let’s do this right with...

The SOMEBODY

Now this frame has been meme’d to death. If there’s anything iconic about this film, ‘bout the franchise as a whole, it’s the exact moment when our main character charges out of his outhouse as Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ gets going. But this honestly just says a lot about Dreamworks’ direction from its previous films where compared to Disney that’ll take their time making the setup before getting into the hype point for its lead, Shrek gets going in one minute if we don’t count the logo intro. Not even The Emperor’s New Groove, which was going for the same tone before Shrek even released, took more of it’s time with the fairy tale aspect of it in its intro. Shrek literally wipes his ass with the fairy tale aspect before giving us the SOMEBODY, all around a minute. This frame really shows that this is sticking to the Disney formula in some way because it’s wasting no time getting into it. It represents the more brisk pace Shrek has with pulling you into what it’s gonna be about. This overall frame works in its thematic and parody aspect and I’ve yet to see anything top this exact moment, not even the greatest films I’ll ever remember.

But enough about the fact that I made a whole paragraph about this one frame of the movie. Let’s dive into what I say is a piece of the heart for this film.

The Earnestness

Speaking of Disney, you probably notice that their films have some cushioning in their presentation, like they generally don’t show things with a straightforward lens; there’s some theatrics in the way their best movies present themselves. That’s not a problem, mind you, but that helped me understand how Shrek does things very differently whether you consider it parody or not. While it throws mockery at the played out conventions associated with fairy tales, especially its most subtle jab at copyright, it doesn’t full on say fairy tales are annoying and bad. Hell, the film IS a fairy tale adapted from a fairy tale about a fookin’ OGRE that can eat lightning and kills with farts. But, it’s an accurate and earnest way to view a fairy tale from a somewhat realistic lens. Let’s take Shrek’s journey for instance.

Typically, the main character would want to experience something more; explore new horizons, prove themselves, find their calling. Shrek off the bat doesn’t need or desire any of that. He’s content with his life, beside the angry mob he casually scares off, and throughout the film he’s not interested in anything else outside getting the squatters out his swamp. He happily makes a deal with the villain of the film to exile those innocent refugees off his land so he could then build a wall to keep everybody out. Bringing up Emperor’s New Groove again, Shrek and Kuzco are the few characters I know that are actively antagonistic even when they’re forced into their situation from outside forces. However unlike Kuzco that gets to be emperor again but learns humility, Shrek is in the same spot as before but learns that there are people out here that can love him for who he is. I can’t say there’s anything grand about that, but it doesn’t need to be unlike the many Disney or any film that tries to shower you with the grandest themes. The relationships Shrek has with Donkey and Fiona are the most grounded I’ve ever seen because they’re not only natural, they’re hardly dolled up with the bells and whistles made to either drum up the biggest laughs or tug the heart strings viciously. When I think about it, I honestly could see myself in Shrek. He isn’t made to be a legend, he isn’t some secret genius or lost prince, he’s just an every-man ogre that wants to live peacefully or meet SOMEBODY that doesn’t treat as someone to be feared or disgusted at. Everything Shrek says is something anybody could or would say if they were his shoes because he, and the film in general, is the most grounded without making it all distractedly meta or genre-savvy. This is generally helped by...

The Dounkaey

Everyone’s talked about how Donkey is the best confidant for Shrek and Fiona. How he’s most true to himself to where he’s the most openly musical character in the film, and how he’s the most balanced here with his comedic vs serious moments. But I gotta say it too: Donkey is one of the greatest sidekicks ever. He’s a motormouth, but is never annoying to where you wish he left the film. The couple times he is purposefully annoying, not for a joke, is when he knows Shrek isn’t being truthful. He truly gets to know Shrek on this journey, and is the character Shrek gets to capacity to actually loosen up to, so it’s fitting that he’d be the one to push Shrek when the ogre’s sounding more vague than usual. Even when he’s harshly insulted, Donkey doesn’t take it as bad as when Shrek kept trying to shut him out again in the 3rd act after the Hallejulah sequence which is the scene in every Shrek movie where’s there a super sad song because Shrek is alone and yadda ya. I’ll get to it in a bit, but he is as much responsible in providing Fiona that seed of doubt that Shrek wouldn’t love her as the ogre she is. Donkey is the greatest friend because he wants to be there for those who are okay with him being around, and while you could give and take sidekick animals in your notable films with them in it, this film really wouldn’t have happened without him. Speaking of Fiona, I won’t retread what’s been said before like with Donkey but I did want to bring up something I haven’t seen many talk about,,,

The Love for An Ogre

I’ve seen many say the scene where Shrek overhears Fiona talk about “Who could love an ugly beast?” and misinterprets that as her talking about him as a cliched or contrived downside to the film, but I feel that a defense can be made. It personally makes sense that Shrek would misinterpret that and take it personally because 1) Who else would Fiona be talking about? 2) How would he know she was talking with Donkey? 3) Why would he just barge in on her? 4) Has no one considered that this moment is parallel to when Fiona overhears Shrek’s conversation with Donkey the night before?

Fiona is very much the antithesis to Shrek’s character where she can very much be open about what she wants but is scared at the idea of anyone figuring out who she really is. She’ll gladly be gross, kick ass, eat the young of a bird she let explode, but won’t let anyone see her true face. That’s why her curse makes sense, and why Shrek would take a fondness to her despite her initial disdain of him rescuing her. Fiona’s a character where the surface level beauty is her weakness as opposed to Shrek where it’s internal. Which is why when she overhears Shrek open up to Donkey about his societal isolation, she’s soon more comfortable around him. And it’s why when she opens up to Donkey about her looks, Shrek would unfortunately take it personal enough. I ask again, why would Shrek barge in on a conversation he wasn’t aware of or who she was talking about to not take it about anything else but him when what he heard such a cut so deep, especially from a character that bears his similar issues? It also helps that Donkey was in on it, as Shrek feels reasonably betrayed by the only other person he’s come to appreciate in his life. Contrived as it seems, it’s thematically important and appropriate to the conflict of Shrek’s character and the film overall. Don’t know how this could be conveyed any other way because it adds up at least.

I just wanna know how Shrek got to Faarquard’s and back by sunrise like did he run cuz that looked like a huge distance to travel on foot but anyways...

I’m sure things could’ve worked out if Shrek knew, either by barging in that night or through Donkey, but I think it’s fitting that the climax takes place at the wedding. After Shrek and Donkey understand their friendship, after Donkey reciprocates the Dragon’s love (more ways than one), and when Shrek grasps the mistake he made to charge over to Fuccquad’s chapel, we get to...

The End

After everything, we get to the moment where Shrek and Fiona get to share their first kiss, Fiona permanently transforms into an ogre, and we get this exchange. One of my favorite exchanges in the whole film:

Shrek: “Are you all right?” Fiona: “Well yes. But I don’t understand... I’m supposed to be beautiful.”

Shrek: “But you ARE beautiful”

We don’t need any other vows to understand their relationship was built up to this. This moment where Shrek can reaffirm Fiona’s feelings of being able to be herself in every way, because she allowed him to be himself in every way before. That’s that mutual love, baby, that just gets me every time and makes this film one of the best romance stories I know as well, even when it isn’t solely about the romance. This is Shrek’s story, and there’s nothing more touching than seeing this outcast not only get another to view him as a friend, not only someone to love, but people, if only a couple, to actually wanted to get to know him. I know Shrek 2 expands on this more, and it’s considered a golden sequel, but I will always cherish the first movie for how much it tells us off the bat while appearing as a “Take That” to Disney films. This is the genesis of Shrek feeling more accepted for himself and society and it just bears so much good commentary while being a good adventure nonetheless. Like you could say this film indeed has... dimensions? “You were trying to meme about la-”

The Conclusion

Mentioning it, I always had this thought with the conversation Shrek and Donkey had of why Shrek didn’t just “be an ogre” and pillage Fuccnut’s fortress. It’s possible Shrek could’ve taken out Faarquid himself, but that would mean being the beast he knows people have shunned him for, grabbed the torches and pitchfolks for, made him feel worse for. Shrek enjoys being an ogre, but he doesn’t like how society makes him feel lesser as an ogre. That really is what the four films have been about for him and what I’ve come to appreciate about these films personally. It can be easy to love yourself even when there are others out here that stand against you, but it’s hard to consider that anyone else could love you for who you are in spite of how you try to present yourself. But if there’s anything Shrek showed me, it’s that it’s possible. There can/will be people out here who appreciate the real you, will be there as much as you want to for them, and can help you realize more about yourself as opposed to suffering to silence eternally. Generally ideal, I know, but this film in the least offered me that thought in the most balanced way possible. It’s incredible how much of a tightrope this film has in its parody and sincerity and that makes its induction in the National Film Registry and being the first ever Best Animated Award winner pretty justified all things considered.

I know this film, the character, has been a meme over the years. As Schaffrillas mentions in his video, the direction Dreamworks made because of Shrek’s success kinda turned it into a heel people clowned on because, in theory, it was nothing but a joke with the onions and the swamp and IT’S NEVER OGRE. Then again, like I said in the beginning, tastes change. I’d say with Schaff’s masterful analyses on the film series and 3GI’s Shrek Retold and Shrekfest, the perception of the film sure enough shifted like the perception of Megamind. It’s one thing for a movie to blow people away or leave them thinking it’s horrible beyond belief, it’s another to take the time to then look back and see how those feelings have changed. For Shrek, it’s a film that was able to trudge out of the meme era to be a film many consider a strong, rewatchable, and unique. Like the beauty of Spongebob, Shrek is a considered a classic because as in the times as it appeared when it released, this film actually stood on its own with the most enjoyable and meaningful timelessness, exploring the desired love for the self, that deserves to be recognized. What else can I say, people?

It’s The Best

[nevermindirah]

Ok it's Jewish Booker o'clock, I can no longer stop myself, let's do this!

Why Jewish Booker? Dude was born in Marseilles in 1770, which happens to be a FASCINATING time and place in Jewish history, and it adds ridiculous layers to his character (without excusing a damn thing). Alternately just because I think he’s neat :)

Jewish Booker headcanons that make me happy:

not to be all "real Jews do X" but Jews fuck with candles hard. Book of Nile thrives on old/modern analog/digital giggles. Booker lighting Shabbat candles, lighting yarzeit (memorial) candles for his wife and sons (sob), lighting a menorah, lighting candles just because he's feeling emotional even though it's not chag (a holiday) or a yarzeit and Nile thinks he's trying to be sexy but he's really just in his feelings. just like. so many candles.

maybe Booker was the person who punched Richard Spencer at Trump's inauguration, just bringing back that time somebody punched a famous neonazi in the street and said neonazi has all but stopped appearing in public after a few rounds of public punching

were the Old Guard in Charlottesville in 2017? how many times has Booker the Blond Jew infiltrated North American white nationalist / Klan type activities and then stolen their weapons and/or killed them? likewise there's plenty of horrifying white nationalist shit happening across Europe this century, how many Pim Fortuyn types has he been involved in taking down? (I Am Of Course Not Endorsing Violence TM ;) ;) )

SINGING. Mattias Schoenaerts sings in Away From the Madding Crowd but it's church shit, sigh, anyway he has a nice voice. a lot of Jewish prayer is sung/chanted (depending on when/where you are and the gender rules of the community you're in) and there’s been a lot of innovation to Jewish singing in Booker’s lifetime, and I just want Nile to overhear him singing to himself on Friday afternoons

Nile Freeman was four years old when The Prince of Egypt came out, she grew up on that shit, she would want to introduce her new family to that shit. Please join me in picturing Booker, Nicky, Joe, and Andy all shouting "that's not how it happened!!" throughout this beautiful nightmare of a movie with lovely animation and songs but where white people voice most of the Egyptian and Jewish characters, because Booker Nicky and Joe's religious texts all frame the Exodus story a little differently and Andy was probably there when it happened (except for how it didn't actually happen it's an important story but it's just a story pls just let me giggle about Andy being super old)

Read below the cut for sad Jewish Booker headcanons, French Jewish history (mostly sad), context on antisemitism (enraging/sad), and all the way to the very end for a himbo joke.

Jewish Booker headcanons, I made myself sad edition:

he is a forger. who was alive. in 1939. visas. VISAS. V I S A S. how many of us did he save? how many more could he have saved if he didn't sleep that night? how heavily does that weigh?

how do we think he BECAME a forger? most likely he was doing what he needed to do to support his family, which gets extra poignant if he was also trying to help his people, forging documents as well as money even during his mortal life

Booker raised Catholic by crypto-Jews adds ANOTHER layer to the forgery thing, no shit he'd get good at falsifying paperwork and coming up with plausible cover stories

do we know how Booker made it back home after his first death in 1812? his route between the Russian Empire and Provence in 1812 would've been a patchwork of laws about Jews, in case starvation and frostbite weren't enough for him to have to deal with, he's blond and could maybe get away with pretending not to be Jewish if he had to, alternately maybe synagogues and yeshivot took him in on his way home

the structural and sometimes-interpersonal dynamics of antisemitism cause many individual Jews to experience feelings of teetering on the fence between a valued member of a not-exclusively-Jewish community and a scapegoat/outcast/problem. HOLY SHIT BOOKER. "what do you know of all these years alone" is the most Jewish loneliness-in-a-crowd shit I've ever heard. fear that we're not wanted, or only wanted so long as we're useful — that's something that basically all people struggle with under capitalism, but it's especially poignant for many Jews because of the particular way antisemitism operates. (NOTE this can tip from a legit Jewish Booker reading to woobification of the sad white man who couldn't possibly be held responsible for his own actions because he's so sad, which, NOPE. it's very understandable for him to feel left out and misunderstood and not as wanted, as the youngest and not part of an immortal couple and maybe Jewish, but NONE OF THIS excuses his betrayal.)

Crusaders murdered a lot of Jews on their way to the ~holy land~. how many of Booker's people did Nicky kill on his way to kill Joe's people? has Booker ever actually talked to either of them about it?

I read this really beautiful fic about Joe needing to circumcise himself after getting run over by a cart (ouch) — this is a hell of a thing for Joe and Booker to have in common

just generally Jewish Booker adds more layers to him and Joe so clearly being such close friends, ugh that look Joe gives him when they're leaving the bar at the end of the movie, and I very much do not mean this in a gross Arab-Israeli-conflict way because Joe is Amazigh not Arab and Booker is Jewish not Israeli (and also a lot of Jews are Arabs) (but most importantly there's no ~eternal conflict~ between Muslims and Jews) (more about OP Is Not A Zionist below)

like, the UK and France (and to a certain extent Italy) carved up the former Ottoman Empire after WWI; among other things, the UK took Palestine, and they could've worked on eradicating European antisemitism so Jews wouldn't have to leave but instead they used their control of Palestine to encourage Zionist emigration of Jews out of Europe, and France took what is now Iraq, which has some pretty direct implications for US military involvement in that country in Nile's lifetime; France colonized Tunisia in the late 19th century and still held it during the Vichy era which means Tunisian Jews were subject to Nazi anti-Jewish laws which is just layers upon layers of colonial racist Islamophobic and antisemitic nightmares for Joe and Booker to live through

to be crystal clear before anybody gets ooh Muslim-Jewish conflict up in here, antisemitism is an invention of European Christians that they imported to the places they colonized, the European colonial powers encouraged Zionism because it was easier for them to encourage Jews to leave Europe and set us up as middle agents between the colonial powers and the ~scary brown people~, the Ottoman Empire and other Muslim governments historically have had a second-class citizenship category for non-Muslims that rankles my American first amendment freedom of religion sensibility but was very much not targeting Jews specifically, and these two men who've lived for a long-ass time through many varieties of geopolitical awfulness (and alongside a certain unwashed Crusader who has since learned his lesson) would have Things To Say about how our current mainstream discourses frame these things

getting off my soapbox and back to this action movie I'm trying to talk about, the ANGST of Booker's exile, which is simultaneously a very valid decision for Andy Joe and Nicky to make, an extremely long time for Nile who is only 26 years old to be separated from the one person on the planet in a position to really understand the crisis she's going through, and holy shit expelling a Jew from your group when he's already been expelled from mortality and his family and being expelled from places and continually having to start over somewhere new is THE curse of surviving through antisemitism, OUCH MY FEELINGS

Some French Jewish history:

France, like basically all of Europe, periodically expelled its Jews, but Provence (where Marseilles is) wasn't legally part of France during the expulsions up through 1398 so Provence had a continuous active Jewish community; about 3,000 Iberian Jewish refugees ended up in Provence after the expulsions from Spain and Portugal in the 1490s

the 1498 expulsion of French Jews DID apply to Provence but many "converted" to Christianity and reestablished a Jewish community when enforcement of the expulsion chilled out (which was in the government's interest because they were really into taxing Jews at higher rates, so much so that they taxed "new Christians" at higher rates once they realized expelling Jews meant they wouldn't be around to overtax, ffs) — by the mid-18th century Provence had notable communities of Jews and crypto-Jews (forced converts and their descendants who still kept some Jewish practices in secret)

Booker would've been 21 when revolutionary France granted equal legal rights to Jews in 1791 — his mortal life and first century of immortality happens to line up almost perfectly with the timeline of legal emancipation of Jews across Europe

the American and French Revolutions happened pretty much concurrently and took different approaches to religious freedom that make Book of Nile with Jewish Booker and canon Christian Nile extra interesting — French emancipation, at least from my American sensibility, is about secularism and religion not "interfering" (hence French Islamophobic shittiness about banning hijabs), whereas American religious freedom is more of "the government can't stop me from trying to evangelize / religiously harass people at my school/workplace/etc" — to be clear I think both countries' approaches to religious "freedom" are hegemonic as shit and have devastating flaws, but they're different models that emerged at the same time in Booker's youth and Christianity is clearly a source of emotional support for Nile and there's so much to explore here

Napoleon tried to ~liberate~ the Jews of places he conquered for his dumbass French Empire, but liberation from ghettos came with strings attached (like banning us from some of the only jobs we'd been legally allowed to have for centuries, and liberating us for the stated purpose of getting us to assimilate and stop being Jews) and many places that were briefly part of the French Empire reinstated their antisemitic laws after Napoleon was gone, can you imagine being a French Jew forced to fight and die in Russian winter for that jackass and then have to trudge back through a dozen countries whose antisemitism was all riled up by French interference?

Some facts about antisemitism:

antisemitism operates differently than many other oppressions, it doesn't economically oppress the target group in the same way as antiblackness or misogyny or ableism etc — the purpose of antisemitism is to create a scapegoat to blame when European peasants are mad at the king / the church / the people actually in charge, and structural antisemitism encourages a system where some Jews become visibly successful so that those individuals and our whole community are easier to make into scapegoats

one of the historical roots of antisemitism is stuff in the Christian Bible about moneylending as sinful — Jews in medieval Europe were often barred from owning land and Christians barred from moneylending, so some Jews found work in finance and some of us became very visibly successful for working with money — a few individual Jews running a particular bank or finding success as jewelry dealers turns into "Jews control global financial systems" scapegoating — a more recent example of this is the participation of nonblack Jews in white flight and the role of Jewish landlords doing the visible dirty work of non-Jewish institutions in American antiblack housing discrimination, Nile grew up on the South Side of Chicago and would have seen some shit along these lines and might repeat hurtful ideas out of a lack of knowledge, here's Ta Nahesi Coates on some of these dynamics

Booker canonically being a forger (specifically of coins in the comics?) needs a little extra care to avoid antisemitic tropes about Jews and money, I will happily answer good-faith asks about this if you want to check on something for a fic/etc

antisemitism in the United States where I live in October 2020 isn't institutional in the sense of targeting Jews for police violence or anything like that. it IS systemic, however, for example in all the antisemitic conspiracy theories the Trump administration and several other Republicans peddle (ie QAnon), and in how the Trump administration points to support for Israel as if that means support for Jews (it doesn't, it's evangelical Christians who push the US government to support the Israeli government because they think Jews need to be in the ~holy land~ for Jesus to come back that's literally why the United States funds Israel at the level it does). antisemitism also gets weaponized to encourage white Jews (those of us of European descent, who in the United States are definitely white because the foundation of US racism is slavery and antiblackness as well as anti-indigenous genocide, maybe European Jews aren't included in whiteness everywhere but we definitely are where I live) to side with white supremacy instead of building solidarity with other marginalized people (ie a lot of mainstream Jewish groups shit on the Movement for Black Lives because of its solidarity with Palestinians)

the Nation of Islam has a major presence in Chicago and its leader Louis Farrakhan who lives in Chicago has long spread a variety of antisemitic as well as homophobic bullshit but there are genuine good reasons many Black people find meaning/support in the Nation of Islam and Nile would've grown up with that mess in the air around her, this is a good take from a Black Jew about the nuance of all that

the way the Old Guard comics draw Yusuf al Kaysani is HOLY SHIT ANTISEMITISM BATMAN I hate it please summarize the comics for me because I DO NOT WANT to look at that unnecessarily caricatured nose why the fuck did they do that human noses are beautiful there is absolutely no need to draw Joe like a Nazi would

Jews for Racial and Economic Justice is a local NYC group that recently developed a fantastic resource for understanding and fighting antisemitism (pdf) 11/10 strongly recommend

Zionism disclaimer: A lot of Jews feel strongly that we need a Jewish-majority country in order to be safe from antisemitism. I strongly disagree with this idea on its merits (Jews disagree about who is a Jew and making Jewish status a government/immigration matter means some of us are going to get left out; also non-Jews aren't fundamentally dangerous and separatism isn't going to end antisemitism) but I have a lot of empathy for the very valid fear that leads a lot of my people to Zionism. Whether I want a Jewish-majority country or not, what Israel has done and continues to do to Palestinians is a deal breaker. Emotions run very high on this subject — I spend a lot of my not-Tumblr life talking to other Jews about Zionism and I'd rather not have this Jewish Booker headcanons post become yet another place where fellow Jews yell at me in bad faith. Block me if you need to, you're not going to change my mind. Call me self-hating if you want, I know I love us.

Racism in fandom disclaimer: I feel weird about increasing the volume of meta about Booker in this fandom. Nile Freeman is the main character and deserves lots of attention and adoration from the fandom — and she deserves emotional support from as many friends and orgasms from as many partners as she wants. I think Jewish Booker makes her friendship and potential romantic relationship with him even more interesting, hence this post. Ship what you ship, but be aware of the racist impact of focusing your fandom activity on, for example, shipping two white men while ignoring awesome characters of color especially the canon man of color one of those white dudes has already been with for a millennium. Please and thanks don't use my post for shenanigans like sidelining Joe so you can ship Booker with Nicky.

Oh and a non-disclaimer fun fact, Matthias Schoenaerts was born in Antwerp which apparently has one of the largest Jewish communities still remaining in Europe?? ~Jewish Booker headcanons intensify~

In conclusion: Jewish Booker! Just because it's fun! It exponentially increases the angst of his mortal lifetime and it puts his first century of immortality smack in the middle of the most intense changes to Jewish life since the fall of the Second Temple (aforementioned emancipation, also founding of Reform Judaism, the Haskalah, Zionism, and then of course the Holocaust). It makes his relationships with Nile, Joe, and Nicky more interesting and potentially angstier and with more intense commonalities and tenderness about their differences. It's very common for Jews to not believe in God (this confuses the shit out of a lot of Christians) and this would probably have further endeared him to Andy.

One more thing: Booker as golem. (A golem is basically an earthenware robot of Jewish folklore.) He's tall and blond and the most Steve Rogers-looking of all of them and from the Himbeaux region of France. THE trope of Book of Nile is he will do WHATEVER Nile wants or needs him to do. I was today years old when I learned that Modern Hebrew speakers use golem figuratively to mean "mindless lunk" and I'm choosing to squint and read that as "hot kind and dumb as rocks" because it amuses me.

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2021

#48 - The Vagrant, by Peter Newman

Mount TBR: 46/100

Beat the Backlist Bingo: A non-human character

Rating: 2/5 stars

I did like enough about it to finish it, despite the concerns and complaints this review will list in detail; I don't care for it enough to keep going with the series.

I started this book almost two months ago, but in the middle of what eventually became obvious was a major reading slump. After 60 pages, I put the book on hold, reasoning that I was frustrated with reading in general and not with this specific book.

When I picked it back up, I started over, and this time, I annotated it to help myself pay more attention, and to pick at the edges of the mysteries that lie thick on the ground in this story. The "eight years ago" narrative line did eventually answer most of my questions--those it didn't were almost uniformly about world-building details I was struggling with.

So there's my first major complaint: this world is going for "cool" and "dark" without really having a cohesive style. Sometimes it's idyllic landscape, sometimes it's the Blasted Lands (which I will forever think of as a zone in World of Warcraft, but I guess the author hasn't played that.) The few cities had distinct but fairly generic personalities--one was a little Blade Runner, because there were neon signs everywhere, while another felt like a standard large fantasy town, and eventually the Shining City is certainly shiny, but also devoid of any originality.

The infernal aspects of the world-building--literally, the demons and how they worked--started out as an interesting concept, which I interpreted as them basically being incompatible with reality as we know it, and to combat that, they anchored themselves (in various and generally disgusting ways) to living flesh. Gross, creepy, excellent. But my early notes about what I pictured the Usurper and the Uncivil and the fallen Knights as actually looking like, or how I imagined they functioned, didn't end up jiving with information that came later. And yeah, readers can be wrong about things that authors set out clearly, but this felt more like I had developed a framework for the infernals that was more codified than what the author himself envisioned, because there were contradictions, and there were gaps, and whenever I encountered one I got frustrated.

Another frustration quickly sprouted from the style of the prose. What at first was a charming way to make sure I'm paying enough attention to connect some dots eventually became a slog. Yes, make me work for the connections about characters and plot. No, don't make me dig through every single line of a fight scene trying to figure out whose limbs are being cut off and who is buried under rubble and who died. There is a constant and deliberate lack of clarity to the narrative that I feel would serve the story better if it were saved for those big special occasions--who is the Vagrant, why can't he talk, how did he end up with the baby--than spreading it like a frosting over literally everything down to the smallest and most mundane details.

This extends to names, as many characters don't have them at all, or only get them late in the story, and even when they do, they are often still referred to by epithets. Harm doesn't need to constantly be "the green-eyed man," or I don't know, maybe he does, because half the time when he or the Vagrant look at something, the text doesn't say "The Vagrant looked at the sky," it says, "Amber eyes searched the clouds."

That's another complaint--the detachment. At the bottom of page 107, I scrawled a note to myself: "I've just hit on what I don't like about this narrative style--the descriptions sound like I'm reading a screenplay." The sentence which triggered this revelation reads: "Sweaty faces shine in shielded lamps." It's the first sentence after a scene break, and it frustrated me because I could see the effect of the description in my head--sweat glowing by lantern light in an otherwise dark space--but I didn't know who those faces belonged to! I didn't know who to picture because that sentence told me nothing about where the scene had jumped to! The following line tells me that men and women are in tunnels--okay, I'm in tunnels, but who are the men and women? The third sentence finally gives me a character name and I know I'm back with Tough Call's gang.

And this, too, is a constant problem. Not every chapter or scene break takes that long to establish who I'm reading about and where we are, but throughout the story, there's this repeated stepping back from the characters, a distancing, by referring to their actions in that deliberately obscure way. "Reluctantly, amber eyes open." "Breath labours in the dark." "A small foot twitches." I know that active verbs are great and conjugations of "to be" are easy to overuse, but it's possible to swing the pendulum too far in the other direction. Let my brain rest on some easy verbs and sentence constructions once in a while! Not everything has to be so vague and portentous!

Final stylistic complaint: I dislike present tense narratives in general, but lots of people like them, so whatever, authors are going to keep using present tense and sometimes I'm going to end up reading it. But I absolutely fail to understand the benefits of using it for the past story line. If the main bulk of the story is "now" and uses present tense, shouldn't the "eight years ago" use past tense? Because, you know, it's the past?

So after all of that, what did I even like about this? The baby. The goat--the tiny and rare scenes written from her viewpoint are generally hilarious. Harm ended up being okay, in shouldering the weight of one-sided conversations with the silent Vagrant. Though I question the wisdom of having a mute protagonist paired with a deliberately vague and detached narrative style (seems like an obvious recipe for the difficulty I had connecting to the story) I do think Harm brings out the Vagrant's desire to communicate as they get to know each other, and their deepening relationship as they bond over their struggles to save people, keep themselves and the baby safe, and still find a way to journey onward...okay, that was compelling enough to keep going even when I was frustrated by nearly everything else.

But the ending? No, sorry, this book failed to get me invested enough to care about why our protagonist achieved his apparent goal then decides to reject the dominant social order to do his own thing. I get it--it's super clear, even for this often-vague story, because the reason is exposited immediately after it happens. But I didn't care. And I don't have any need to find out what happens to our ragtag found family of weirdos afterward.

Hm, I hadn't considered that before. Found family, as a trope, pretty much relies on emotional investment in developed characters, whereas this story opted for (mostly) flat characters viewed from a safely detached distance. No wonder I couldn't get into it, these goals are fundamentally opposed.

[iaintyourbro]

Your first ask is me? I feel bad now your first ask is about a biased CA... :( I always see you out there writing great ideas and opinions on things! You deserve more asks! About my ask I know other people picked their favorite and all, but that's all they did. A VA is like saying all these things about A fixing C and shit and that's not it. That's not the story. That's not the game. She's putting wrong ideas in the fans/shippers heads while working for SE. I just find that a little pathetic. +

2/2  + but I won't e-mail anyone. That was just me being petty. And kind of joking too. (Sorry for my English)

Oh, please, don’t feel bad at all! I think it’s a great starting question to get me thinking. Also, your English is FANTASTIC. I assumed you were a native speaker! 

I 100% agree with you on how she’s saying the wrong things. I didn’t even know she was going that far. Like I said, I really can’t tolerate watching her because it’s so extreme to one side. 

Based on that, it sounds like she really didn’t play through the OG. It’s clear that Aerith doesn’t do anything to “fix” Cloud. Her job and her role is for the overall plot of FF7. She’s a very important character in that regard. Without her, the world is screwed (well, without her in the Lifestream but). Tifa legit is the only one that can help fix Cloud later on - by guiding him and letting him come to terms with everything on his own.

Did Aerith make Cloud a bit more open? Yes, absolutely. Every character that Cloud deals with develops him further, and I love that. It’s not just Tifa or Aerith. Barret. All of AVALANCHE gives him development. Marle gives him development. The Trio, Jules, all of them. It’s wholesome as hell that he really does listen and refers to things he’s learned later in the game. Watching him go from “Not interested” to being super worried about Wedge when he falls from the pillar is GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. 

I think Aerith teaches him some social skills - like high-fives. It’s silly, but Cloud was afraid to high-five. His persona won’t let him do anything that’s gonna make him possibly get rejected or hurt. It’s silly, but our boy is pretty messed up at this point. 

She also teaches him sympathy. When she’s talking about Zack in the park she’s just SAD. I felt for her. I was really glad they did so much Zack/Zerith referencing in the remake. This isn’t to say he didn’t show any sympathy or concern before - he did notice a lot if Tifa seemed nervous or upset. This was more obvious, though, because he was pretty closed off from Aerith until she talked about Zack. 

Cloud softens up when he realizes she’s sad about this unknown person who he isn’t allowed to know the name of, which to me is a huge improvement with how he dealt with things like that before. @silver-wield Did a full interpretation of the park scene that covers this in more detail. She also has one on the high-fives.

Him learning to listen to people instead of blowing them off, him remembering the lessons Tifa taught him at surviving life on the ground floor, (he asks her in Chapter 10 if following the stench is another lesson... as he’s smiling btw). 

What actually will piss me off is people saying he was a stoic, closed off jerk until Chapter 8. It’s just not true. He grew a LOT from his first line to his last one in Chapter 7. Before Aerith. Then he continues to grow. Shipping who you want is fine until you start deleting parts of the actual story. 

If the story didn’t go in the Cloti direction, I guarantee you I probably would have gone with whatever the final pairing was. I generally do. Squall and Rinoa, Yuna and Tidus, Celes and Locke, Rosa and Cecil. You know, the linear relationships. 

The exception for me was Lucrecia and Vincent... cuz I just was so grossed out that she picked Hojo. DoC cleared up some of it, but still. I had head canon that Vincent was Sephiroth’s father yada yada. When I found out it’s canon that Hojo is - that there’s legit NO POSSIBILITY of Vincent being his father, I accepted it. I didn’t go online and start twisting the story and attacking people. It didn’t take away from my fan fiction enjoyment at all.

I assume it’s like people who ship Squall and Quistis, for example. Nothing in the game indicates this (he rejects her hard - “Then go talk to a wall”), but people do. That’s okay, I don’t enjoy that pairing (hot for teacher, anyone?), but I know people do. The differences with that pairing and C//erith is NOBODY GOES ONLINE AND FIGHTS THE FF8 STORY TO PUSH THAT SHIP. They don’t sit here and rip the story up, ignore parts, don’t play past certain parts/skip chapters/quests whatever. Then they start quoting things that were debunked long ago. 

I am absolutely fine with shipping who you want. You just can’t change the actual story to fit it and then argue with facts. That’s what makes this brutal. I also don’t care if the VAs ship whoever. They just can’t put false ideas into the heads of fans. It either creates false hope for one side or anxiety for the other. It doesn’t end well, especially since people expect that she may know more than we do. They’ll take those comments to heart much more than a random person on the internet...

Also: I would not judge or look down on you for emailing Square, cuz I think it’s the funny kind of petty! I’d be that petty too, but probably never actually send it!

[jellicleetcetera]

Cats 2019: A Spectacle of a Trainwreck

I saw cats 2019. And I had a lot of thoughts about it. So I thought I'd write an essay. Because that's what I do when I have a lot of feelings about something. I write about it.

So, I’m going to start this off by saying that I’m actually a huge fan of the original musical. I get the songs stuck in my head constantly. My personal favorite rendition is the 1998 direct-to-video adaptation. When I first saw the trailer, I was terrified. I saw that they were adding a speaking plot, and I immediately knew there were going to be a lot of changes. I was prepared, though, because the original musical would be very hard to sell to general audiences. Hell, Cats is hardly a musical for people that like musicals. Cats us a beast of its own kind. A lot of changes would have to be made if this were going to do well at all in the box office. So, I promised myself that I would go into it with an open mind.

My mom asked me a couple months later if I would go with her to see it. Now, as most of you die-hards would know, seeing Cats with your mother is a very dangerous gamble. Either she’ll understand what’s going on in That Scene, or she won’t. But either way, you’ll be uncomfortable the whole time. I didn’t know if they were going to include the scene or not. I was hoping so because I would love to see the reactions, but also praying that it would be cut because Jesus Christ I’m seeing it with my mother. I agreed, though, because I knew I was contractually obligated to see this damn thing and if my mom took me I wouldn’t have to spend my own money on the ticket. So, the release happens, a few days go by, and then my mom and I walk into an empty theater on the morning of Christmas Eve.

It was certainly a spectacle of a film. Everything was super vibrant and flashy. I absolutely adored the giant sets. I honestly think it’s incredible that they actually built giant sets so the actors would look effectively cat-sized. They looked a little too small, but then again, Jellicle cats are rather small. Also, my sense of cat size is warped because my own cat, Comet, is absolutely massive. But I digress.

Aside from the set design and the flashy palette, though, one thing really bothered me visually. And it will surprise no one. I really, really didn’t like the cats themselves. Design-wise, fine, they’re alright. Their faces are a little creepy but it’s not that bad. Add a little more cheek fluff and you’re good. However, there’s a specific reason I didn’t like that they did CGI fur rather than practical costumes. It cheapened the dancing.

The moment you slap something CGI onto something real, it makes the real thing look like it’s CGI. That’s just unavoidable. During the whole movie, I couldn’t really get over the fact that they looked CGI because it made the dancing look like it was computer-animated rather than real people actually dancing. Which sucks, because when you look past the gross look of their digital fur, the choreography and the dancers were incredible. (Although I do wish it was a bit more… feline. The original musical’s choreography wasn’t as complex or impressive, but it really got the message across that they’re cats, and not just human dancers with cat features.) It’s really a shame. If they had been in practical costumes, they would have looked like much better dancers. Creating practical costumes would have also added a bonus of getting to create interesting, modern reimaginings of the old 80’s fluffy wigs and legwarmers.

Now, on to the story and characters. Some changes I liked, some I was fine with, and some I didn’t like one bit. I think it would be easiest to share all of my thoughts by going down the list of musical numbers and sharing my thoughts on each one, with some digressions to talk about other related things. I don’t think I need to say this, but many spoilers lie ahead. I’m going to mostly assume that you, the reader, have at least a basic knowledge of the original plot and characters of Cats, but I’ll fill in crucial details here and there as needed. Here we go.

When the movie opens, we’re treated to a fresh new story for one of the main chorus cats, Victoria. In this film, she’s an abandoned cat dropped off at the dump in a canvas bag. I immediately knew she’d be our main character. I found the decision to make her a newcomer to be a pretty smart one. Victoria became the audience stand-in, since the movie is assuming you’re going into this having never seen Cats.

Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats was a banger. Can’t deny that. It was fun and upbeat, and the choreography was great. I loved the junkyard set, too. Plus, through the speaking plot, they gave The Naming of Cats a little more justification. Honestly, I think the entire speaking plot was just a huge justification for the songs for people that can’t connect the dots between them. But whatever. Anyways. Macavity also appears in this scene, but I’m going to get to him later.

I wish they kept Victoria’s solo dance… you know, a solo. The dance with Munkustrap was lovely, but I wish Victoria got to keep it. This is due to my own personal bias of that dance being my favorite, though.

Now, The Invitation to the Jellicle Ball brings me to a character that changed a lot. Mr. Mistoffelees. They say, in his song, that he is vague and aloof. There was nothing vague nor aloof about this Mistoffelees. They turned him into a hapless, bumbling fool. Personally, I thought he was kind of cute, but it seemed like an unneeded change. The plot would have been fine without it. I liked his pencil wand, though. I suppose they wanted to make the relationship between Victoria and Misto more sympathetic? Rather than making Misto this cool, distant character that any newcomer kitty cat would fall for, they gotta make him clumsy and dumb so Victoria doesn’t look shallow I guess? I dunno. It’s fine. I’m fine with it. Everything’s fine.

Also that song was fine.

Gumby Cat. Oh, Jennyanydots, what have they done to you? Okay, I’ll say it, I’ve never really found Rebel Wilson to be all that funny. I know, boo me, I’m the worst, I suck, moving on. She was fine in this role, and I’ll admit, some of the gags were pretty silly and fun, but watching Cat Rebel Wilson eat tiny roach people was just… not great. Also, the mice were creepy. *shudders*

Now, I’m going to go into this next song’s review with a disclaimer. The Rum Tum Tugger, in Cats 1998 specifically, is my favorite character. I love him. He’s an 80’s rockstar himbo delight with a smooth, sexy voice and he knows it. God help me. When I heard Jason Derulo would be playing the new Tugger, I found it to be a pretty obvious choice in making Tugger new and hip to the modern crowd. It’s fine, I get it. However, making him, like… Not as smooth? I don’t get why they did that. He’s supposed to be an unflinching badass personification (catification?) of swag and confidence. I didn’t like that change one bit. #NotMyTugger

Grizabella the Glamor Cat was pretty great. I loved Jennifer Hudson killed her role in this movie. 10/10 amazing job. However, this song brings me to another matter entirely. I couldn’t tell who was singing it! Pretty much none of the chorus cats were recognizable to me. I could pick out Jemima and that’s pretty much it! It took someone telling me that they changed Demeter to a russian blue for me to even have a chance of knowing which one she was. Demeter is one of my favorite cats, and we’ll be talking about her again later.

Although I wasn’t expecting it, I really liked Bustopher Jones. I thought that it was fun that they really went for it, making him shown literally digging through the garbage for all of the gourmet food he loves so much. It’s not made very clear in the original musical that this was what it was implying. I’m glad they did this, because otherwise it probably would have flown over everybody’s heads. I miss the “toodle-pip” though.

I loved Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. They chilled it down a lot, which I was fine with, though I did miss their loud cockney accents and eccentric choreography. I also miss the double cartwheel… The movie made up for it, though, with having really fun imagery. This one was definitely my favorite one from the movie. They made them more like sly, seasoned mischief-makers, rather than boisterous bastards. (I do love bastards, though…)

I loved Old Deuteronomy. Judi Dench is wonderful, and that song is always a lovely delight. Not much else to say about it.

Can we get an F in chat for The Pekes and the Pollicles? It shall be missed.

They cut down a significant amount of the ten-minute dance sequence that takes place in the middle of the show. DAMN them for shortening it. Cowards, the lot of you. However, this also means they cut out That Scene. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. To those saying this movie is incredibly horny, I BEG you to go watch Cats 1998. THAT movie is horny. It has The Scene, and also a multitude of ass shots throughout the film.

Also I was fine with them changing Victoria’s dance with Plato. (I think they replaced him with Munkustrap? I don’t quite remember.)

I loved Memory. Jennifer Hudson. *chef’s kiss* Amazing.

Beautiful Ghosts was… fine. It was a lovely song, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t… sound like the rest of the musical. It sounds more modern than the rest of the soundtrack. And they modernized the soundtrack, too, so that’s saying something. It just felt a little out of place for me. Also, I don’t like its placement. Let me explain.

Grizzabella and Gus the Theater Cat are supposed to be comparisons of each other. They’re both old and nearing their final days, wishing for days long past. However, the thing that makes them different is their relationship to the other Jellicle cats. While Grizzabella is cast out and rejected, Gus is loved by the clan and he’s a very strong candidate for being the Jellicle choice. There’s already a song between their two songs, The Moments of Happiness, but that song acts as more of a bridge between the two songs, rather than an interruption like Beautiful Ghosts feels to be.

I liked Gus the Theater Cat. Ian McKellen seemed to like his role, which I liked. He’s amazing at everything he does, too, so his performance was no surprise.

Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat was fun and upbeat and everything I hoped it would be. 10/10 would tap dance again.

I didn’t like Macavity the Mystery Cat at all. They cut Demeter out of it entirely, removing her implied history with Macavity, and in the process removing her entire relationship with Bombalurina. Instead, they made Bombalurina Macavity’s bitch. She got the song all to herself. And I’ve gotta say it. I don’t like Taylor Swift. That song felt like nails on a chalkboard. I hated every moment of it. Also, I find it hilarious that they kept the lyric, “Macavity’s a ginger cat. He’s very tall and thin.” and he is very obviously none of those things in this movie.

I didn’t like a lot of things about Macavity, too. I liked Macavity he got more of a presence than in the stage musical, but some things were kind of… lame I guess. Some of the scenes on Growltiger’s boat (I thought they would do Growltiger’s last stand but I was wrong!) were slow and boring. Even their little “action” scene. They also removed the Macavity fight scene, where he tries to kidnap Demeter. Very cringe of them. ANOTHER thing that is very cringe fail terrible was what they did to Grizzabella. They stripped her of her original backstory and just made her Macavity’s ex. FORGET that. Horrible. Hate it. Stop making everything about Macavity.

Back to Mistoffelees and his own song. Although I didn’t like that they removed Tugger’s role in Mr. Mistoffelees, I understood why. They turned him into a main character, so of course he had to sing his own song. However, they kept the lyric, “His manner is vague and aloof,” (well, “My manner is vague and aloof.”) which I find very silly of them. Yet another lyric that directly contradicts what the movie is providing. Also, I didn’t like the lack of dancing in this scene! Mistoffelees is one of my favorite dancers in the original productions. Specifically the big, impressive toe touches. Cowards.

I wish they let Jemima keep her solo. I know why they gave her solo to Victoria, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Congrats, Webber, you got to cut your ex-wife’s part out of the musical. *claps*

I liked the reprise of Memory and the subsequent journey to the Heaviside layer. I loved the chandelier balloon, too. It was all very emotionally impactful. My mom literally cried next to me during Memory’s reprise. Amazing job.

I never really liked The Ad-dressing of Cats in the musical because it feels unnecessary after such an emotional, perfect ending note with the journey to the Heaviside layer, but this version was kind of fun, I guess. Old Deuts looking directly into the camera was a little off-putting, though.

Overall, I thought this movie was fine. Will I watch it again? I don’t know, maybe. If someone put it in front of me, I would probably watch it, but I’m probably not going to go seeking it out when Cats 1998 is right there. It was fun, and it was definitely a spectacle. But was it Cats? Mmmmmm… It sure does look like Cats, but it doesn’t really feel like Cats. Do I think it’s a good movie for someone that isn’t already a fan of the musical? I don’t know, maybe? I’m seeing that most people hate it, which is a shame. If anything, I hope this movie compels people to seek out other productions of this musical. It really is a fun romp of a musical that I think people might like if they give it a try. I mean, it was Broadway’s longest running show in its time for a reason.

Do I recommend this movie? Sure. Go see it if you want. I’m not about to give this movie a score out of ten, because I find those kinds of rating arbitrary. But sure, go see Cats. Maybe it’ll lead you toward the superior version. Cats 1998.

[anettrolikova]

Disney’s brand new direct-to-consumer platform acquired 30MM subscribers.

Disney has many of the franchises that best lend themselves to this model. Many of those they don’t own, such as Harry Potter, have their rights fragmented.

Disney’s Parks & Attractions segment generates nearly 100% more revenue and 60% more profit than Disney’s studio division (which already generates nearly three times the revenue AND three times the gross margins as its primary competitors). By turning hit films into theme park attractions, not only does Disney generate more “upside” from a hit than its competitors do, Disney’s breakeven point for these films is also much lower.

There is nothing that can compare to the impact of a child being hugged by her heroes. The ability to enjoy your favorite IP as “you” is unique and lasts a lifetime. Consider, for example, how many families have Disneyland photos of their kids with Mickey or Woody on the fridge.

because of real estate scarcity, lengthy build times, enormous capital requirements (exacerbated by Baumol’s Cost Disease), Disney’s theme parks, resorts, and cruises are incredibly difficult to replicate by another Western media company

It is incredibly profitable and will continue to grow as new mobile technology/personalization enhance the park-going experience. The barriers to replication are incredibly high and span both fixed investment (land and infrastructure) and skillset (e.g. design and boots-on-the-ground operations).

“Disneyland is an experience involving many moving parts in harmony, like an orchestra. Everything has to be tuned, what you hear, what you smell, what you see, how you see it, the speed at which you assimilate all of that, just like a film, is choreographed. But how do you choreograph that if you don't control the camera, because the camera is you — it's you when you come to Disneyland".

Games have been on the cusp of these experiences for years, but in 2020, they’re well under way. These are “games” like Minecraft, Fortnite, Roblox, to a lesser extent GTA Online, and Pokémon Go.

These titles offer many unique advantages compared to their analogue analogues. For example, they are always “open”, “everywhere”, “full of your friends”, and impervious to COVID-19. These games also boast an even larger (i.e. infinite) number of attractions and rides, none of which need be bound by the laws of physics or the need for physical safety, and all of which can be rapidly updated and personalized.

The durability and scalability of these experiences are connected to why they’re so hard to define. To consider them a “game” is to consider iOS a phone, or Disneyland a specific Pirates of the Caribbean roller coaster.

these parks were designed to (or have since been converted to) allow for anyone to be an “Imagineer”. The developers of these titles aren’t trying to make a “game” but a “game engine” that allows everyone to create and share their own attraction.

nearly every game that could be recreated in Minecraft has been (e.g. Metroid). Corporations have built in-game cellphones capable of making live video calls to the real world using real world physics, users have built enormous explorable worlds based on existing IP (e.g. Game of Thrones' King's Landing, which is the size of Los Angeles) and new ones (one player spent 16 hours a day for a year building a 370 million block cyberpunk city).

nearly every game that could be recreated in Minecraft has been (e.g. Metroid). Corporations have built in-game cellphones capable of making live video calls to the real world using real world physics, users have built enormous explorable worlds based on existing IP (e.g. Game of Thrones' King's Landing, which is the size of Los Angeles) and new ones (one player spent 16 hours a day for a year building a 370 million block cyberpunk city).

In this sense, these “digital theme parks” are really “digital theme park platforms”. Last year, Roblox paid out $100MM to developers (i.e. 1-20 person teams) against more than $500MM in UGC-based revenue. And in September, the company launched a “Marketplace” that allows developers to monetize not just their games, but also any assets, plug-ins, vehicles, 3D models, terrains, and items they made for it. This means developers can both reduce the time/effort required to create on Roblox, and receive additional revenue from the time/effort they invest.

the billions of hours American children spent imagining and acting out the adventures of Luke Skywalker and the Jedi with the 1970s and 1980s with figurines, robes, and lightsabers. However, this expansive imagination was forever trapped in brainwaves, backyards, and basements. It was hard enough to share these imaginary stories and world with close, in-person friends, let alone to faraway and unknown ones.

Today, it’s possible for the average fan to actually translate their imagination into a real, virtual space and then share it and play in it with their friends and world at large. And not only is it cool to do so, there are many companies designed around facilitating, promoting, and financially rewarding this behavior

most people don’t need or want to “make” a website or app. Billions, however, do dream of fictional worlds and wish they could share them with their friends. Just as tens of millions spent decades wishing they could build their own Super Mario levels — and now millions do via Super Mario Maker, which is one of the ten best-selling “games” on the Nintendo Switch.

Nearly every one of the underlying drivers behind these digital theme park platforms is growing: (1) their user bases; (2) the per user engagement; (3) the number and diversity of the experiences created by the community; (4) the ease with which a “player” can discover and jump from one experience to another; (5) the ease of creating an experience; (6) the technical and experiential capabilities of these engines/tools/experiences; (7) the ease and extent to which you can monetization individual creations (from individual assets to games); and (8) the importance of virtual worlds to the overall future of the Internet.

these digital theme park platforms own the overall customer relationship, billing, and all engagement data. But the core game engines are the most defensible; like the land and physical infrastructure of a park, they are built up over decades and impossible to fully short-cut. This includes not just enormous codebases, but years of enhancements to the end-to-end platform (e.g. core tech, tutorials, UI/X, community services) based on billions of hours of developer and consumer-side usage.

It’s likely that soon we’ll see D2C consumer product companies begin building their own bespoke experiences inside digital theme park platforms; the age of growth-hacking via referral codes, native podcast ads, SEO, and social is over.

The good news is more digital theme park platforms are likely to emerge.

although a new digital theme park platform is inevitable, the odds are low, the total opportunities are few, and the timelines long. In addition, it’s unclear how many platforms for UGC world creation are needed — just as most creators and consumers rely only YouTube or Twitch. Runners-up exist but are much, much smaller.

Disney could have ended up with one of these platforms with its multi-franchise “open world” sandbox-style video game, “Disney Infinity”. The game first released in 2013, received widespread acclaim, and generated a reported $200-300MM in revenue over the first three years. Despite this topline, the game’s performance nevertheless fell short of Disney’s $1B internal target and, with that in mind, presumably well short of breakeven, too. It was cancelled in 2016.

At Disneyland, attractions don’t open until they’re both complete, “perfect”, and predictable. There’s no real test, learn, change, repeat approach — especially compared to live, public experiments such as the Fortnite blackout. Hugs must be perfectly executed.

Every IP owner will need to figure out how to participate in digital theme parks and platforms — to figure out how to execute a digital version of the physical “hug”. This is especially true for those that don’t even have physical theme parks and for which the alternative — building one — would take more than a decade and $20B+ in capital.

“Detail level one is when you are standing out in the countryside and see the church steeple sticking up above the trees. Detail level two is when you enter town and are looking down the street. You can see the street, the median, the parkway strips, sidewalks, and trees. Detail level three is when you are standing on the sidewalk looking at one of the houses. You can see the character of the house, walls, roof, windows, trim, and doors. Detail level four is when you have actually walked up to the front door, grabbed the door knocker, see its detail, finish, and feel its temperature and weight as you knock on the door… most architects are pretty good at getting to level three, but here at Disney we must always get to the detail level four so we can maintain our immersive environments that our stories create”.

It is easy to say, “we can’t do it”, “we’ve tried and failed”, or “what even is the roadmap here”. These are fair and important rejoinders. However, as the “Imagineering Story” frequently reiterates, nobody at Disney had built a theme park, or had any relevant experience (other than narrative) before Walt insisted they do it. And it was messy, and uncertain, and chaotic, with the business folks (which I say with love as I am one) who were terrified of the cost, skeptical of the demand and long-term interest, and rattled by the lack of a clear business case. Note, too, that today’s leading platforms will, themselves admit they hardly know what they’re doing — and how can they? But of course, it helps when you can grow by letting your most imaginative and obsessive fans chip in.

[imagitory]

D-Views: The Princess and the Frog (with guest input!)

Hi everybody! Welcome to another installment of D-Views, my on-going written review series focused around the works of the Walt Disney Company, as well as occasionally films made by other studios that were influenced by Disney’s works! For reviews for Disney films like Mary Poppins, The Little Mermaid, and Treasure Planet or non-Disney films like Anastasia, The Nutcracker Prince, or The Prince of Egypt, please consult my “Disney reviews” tag!

I’m super excited about today’s subject -- not only is its heroine my favorite Disney princess, but I also won’t be watching the movie alone! My darling mum, who has in the past helped me review Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, has graciously agreed to co-review this with me! We hope that you will join us on this magical adventure through the Louisiana bayou as we review...The Princess and the Frog!

In the early 2000′s, the Walt Disney Company -- especially its animation department -- was in trouble. Of all of the films done in the so-called “Experimental Era,” the only animated film that had made Disney a real profit was 2002′s Lilo and Stitch. The others, even if they did manage to receive favorable reviews, were all financial disappointments. The Emperor’s New Groove was fourth at the box office opening weekend behind movies like What Women Want and How the Grinch Stole Christmas and only grossed about 169 million dollars in theaters worldwide after costing 100 million to make. Brother Bear even now boasts a rather sad 37% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. And even if Atlantis: The Lost Empire hadn’t received such lukewarm reviews and been accused of plagiarizing several other movies (most notably Nadia: The Secret of the Blue Water, Stargate, and, as I’ve discussed previously, Castle in the Sky), it wouldn’t have changed the fact that it was released the same year as Dreamworks’ green monster hit Shrek. But no Experimental Era film did as badly as the last one -- Home on the Range -- which after its release in 2004 was so badly received both by critics and at the box office that it prompted Disney to write down the production costs and announce the closing of its 2D animation department for good.

But it didn’t close for good. In 2006, the new president and chief creative officer of the company, Ed Cadmill and John Lasseter, reversed the decision. The 2D animation department had one last chance to turn their dark destiny around, and in 2009, as Disney did after World War II with Cinderella and in the late 80′s with The Little Mermaid, it pinned its hopes on a beautiful, goodhearted princess.

The Princess and the Frog in some ways was Disney’s attempt to return to their Disney Renaissance roots. Its directors -- John Musker and Ron Clements -- had previously directed The Little Mermaid and Aladdin among others. The reinvented fairy tale story features magic, a theatrical villain, a prince, animal sidekicks, romance, and Broadway-musical-style songs. Even the advertising highlighted how much it wanted to remind millennial audiences of the films they grew up with, putting a spotlight on the music and beautiful hand-drawn animation, rather than the “adult,” meta humor that Dreamworks had used to advertise its films and Disney later used to advertise its next Disney princess movie, Tangled. Some production details leaked to the public, such as the title of “The Frog Princess,” the main character’s original name, and her profession as a chambermaid, also were edited upon receiving backlash, and still others (such as the use of voodoo in the plot and our black princess’s prince not being black) were just left as is. Despite all of the negative press that swirled around the project, there was also a lot of promise that Disney fans noted too, such as Dreamgirls supporting actress Anika Noni Rose being cast as Tiana, Pixar composer Randy Newman being chosen to write the film’s score and songs, and Oprah Winfrey being brought on both as a technical consultant and the voice of Tiana’s mother Eudora.

The marketing decision to focus more on nostalgic millennial adults rather than the new Generation Z is what I feel largely contributed to The Princess and the Frog not being the blockbuster Disney was hoping for. As much as I wholeheartedly believe that animation is not and has never been a children’s medium, the attitude that lingered around the public consciousness in the late 2000′s and sadly even today is that animation -- most importantly, 2D animation -- is for kids, and without the kids being just as excited to watch the film as their nostalgic parents, uncles, aunts, and older siblings, The Princess and the Frog was fighting an uphill battle, even if it was produced by a marketing monster like Disney. Even though the movie was handicapped by this bad marketing choice, however, I would still argue that The Princess and the Frog was a success. Even with that bad marketing choice, the racism-themed controversies that had swirled around its production, and the release of James Cameron’s blockbuster Avatar a week later weighing it down, Tiana costumes were selling out everywhere prior to Halloween that year. The movie still was #1 at the box office opening weekend, an honor not held by a Disney animated movie since Lilo and Stitch. It still made $104.4 million and was the fifth highest grossing film that year. It still earned pretty favorable reviews, earning an 85% at Rotten Tomatoes.

Sadly, because The Princess and the Frog wasn’t the big blockbuster that The Little Mermaid had been, Disney turned its focus more toward its 3D projects, and after the release of Winnie the Pooh in 2011 (the same weekend as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 -- COME ON, DISNEY, WERE YOU EVEN TRYING TO GIVE THIS FILM A CHANCE??), the 2D department did close its doors after all, and the studio went in a new direction with the release of Tangled. It’s a choice I lament Disney making, for as much as I’ve enjoyed most of the 3D entries to the Disney Revival, there was something so utterly magical about seeing The Princess and the Frog’s premiere at Walt Disney Studios in Burbank with my mother back in 2009. 2D animation is a beautiful art form, and it’s frustrating that Disney has turned its back on it so thoroughly after it got Disney to where it is now. The Princess and the Frog could’ve been the Great Mouse Detective to another 2D film that could’ve been a Little Mermaid and proved once again that 2D animation is for everyone, not just for kids, just as Little Mermaid did. But instead, the film that was the Revival version of The Little Mermaid was Disney’s first 3D princess film, Tangled -- and not to diss Tangled as a film, but it saddens me that it succeeded largely by playing to the public’s ignorant attitude that 3D animation is more “adult” than 2D animation and that the way to communicate that your animated movie is “for adults too” in your trailers is through using snarky meta humor rather than through artistry and complex themes.

With all this background out of the way...laissez le beau temps rouler! Let’s start the film!

Anika’s singing voice starting our film out is just a perfect introduction. Its pure, unassuming tone just ripples with sincerity as we are led into our introductory scene for our main character Tiana, her mother Eudora, and her absolutely hysterical best friend, Charlotte “Lottie” La Bouff. As we leave the La Bouff manor, we also see a touch of the “Lady and the Tramp influence” that Musker and Clements added to the production in the background design. Just by transitioning from the well-kept, affluent neighborhood in the dimming sunlight to the more run-down areas of town at night, we get a perfect, complete sense of the environment that our heroine lives in, all without any dialogue. And yet, as Mum pointed out, even the rundown areas are full of warmth and charm. Just like in Lady and the Tramp, they never look scary or shady, simply modest and maybe a little worn. On the note of charm, as well, I absolutely friggin’ adore Tiana’s dad, James. Considering how big of a role he has in the story, it’s really good that we see how big of an impact he had on his daughter through his good, hard-working attitude and love for his family and neighborhood despite not having much screen-time.

Once the “Walt Disney Pictures” banner floats by, we finally meet Tiana as an adult. As mentioned earlier, Tiana is my favorite Disney princess. Part of the reason why comes back to the fact that Tiana’s movie came out right before I started my first job (ironically enough at a restaurant in Disney World) and she inspired me to give 120% everyday, but the other reason Tiana speaks to me so much is because she reminds me quite a bit of Mum! Like my mother, Tiana is a very warmhearted, logical, and hardworking person who never sits on her laurels and is always ready to fix a problem, and it was really cool to see a Disney princess with the same kind of organized mind and stubborn work ethic that I saw in my mum growing up. That feeling I had watching Tiana’s story is one of the things that inspired me to write my Disney crossover story TrueMagic, where I wrote a character directly inspired by Mum. On top of all that, I realize that Tiana speaks a lot of the millennial and gen Z experience, having to save up a lot of money at two dead-end minimum wage jobs just to try to get ahead in a world where the cards are stacked against her. We even see her sleeping in the room she grew up in, meaning she’s still living at home as an adult to make ends meet!! Isn’t that relatable!!

I have heard others critique Randy Newman’s music, but in my opinion the score and songs developed for this movie perfectly set the mood of 1920′s New Orleans. The opening number “Down in New Orleans” is really well-paced with the medley of scenes introducing Tiana’s usual work day, Dr. Facilier’s vindictiveness and desire for Eli La Bouff’s wealth, Naveen’s playboy attitude, and Charlotte’s instant attraction to the newly arrived Prince. Of the songs, I’d personally cite Tiana’s “Almost There” and Facilier’s “Friends on the Other Side” as the strongest links, with “Gonna Take You There” as the weakest, but even if you don’t end up finding the songs catchy, I don’t think anyone can deny how well it suits the film’s setting.

Now admittedly, one critique you could give the film is its idealized, whitewashed view of historical race relations. Let’s be honest: in the 1920′s, a rich cotton baron like Eli La Bouff would not have visited a cafe on Tiana’s side of town and he would not let his precious daughter engage with Tiana as an adult either. As much as there were people who didn’t follow the common attitude that black Americans were somehow “inferior” to white Americans, if you didn’t follow that attitude, you couldn’t have expected to be very financially successful or influential in such a racist society, as Mr. La Bouff is. On top of that, Tiana would not only be facing passive prejudice when trying to open her own restaurant, like the kind the Fenner brothers express about her “background” -- she would also be likely facing active discrimination and potentially violence. As much as this film doesn’t truly represent the way things were back then, however, I would argue that the decision in the end benefits the picture, which clearly is supposed to be a fairy tale. This is a story where a girl kisses a frog, becomes one herself, meets an alligator who plays the blues and a firefly in love with a star, and both fights against and alongside people who practice voodoo. It may have a historical backdrop, kind of like Pocahontas and The Great Mouse Detective do, but it is still a fantasy. There are other films that aim to teach us about how things really were back then, so why can’t we have one where a young black American lives her own fairy tale in the iconic Crescent City? Plus, in Mum’s words, an integral part of this story is the pure, unlikely friendship between Charlotte and Tiana, which would have been close to impossible in a completely historical setting. To my memory, it’s actually one of the few times we see a close friendship between two female contemporaries in a Disney princess movie -- the closest we’d had previously were relationships like Aurora with the three fairies (which was more of a familial relationship) and Belle and Mrs. Potts (which...yeah, big generation gap). Even in films that came later, we have Elsa and Anna, but they’re sisters, not just friends. And Tiana having a friend like Charlotte ends up being pivotal in her eventual triumph.

Speaking of Charlotte and her friendship with Tiana, something I love about her is that she doesn’t just give Tiana the money she needs to open her own restaurant. Instead, because she knows Tiana has pride and wouldn’t just accept the money for nothing, Charlotte finds a reason for her to give her the money she needs by assigning her the task of making beignets for the ball she and her father are hosting. It’s something that reminds me a bit of my mum and her best friend, who also comes from a wealthy family -- like Charlotte, my mum’s best friend likes spending money on my mum, but has always known that she can’t buy my mum’s friendship. Both she and Charlotte know that you can only be a friend through expressing sincere caring, which is the mark of a true friend.

Ever since The Princess and the Frog first came out, “Almost There” has been my work mantra, and every time I hear it, I just am full of drive and excitement. The animation for this sequence -- animated by senior Disney icon Eric Goldberg, who previously worked on the Rhapsody in Blue segment in Fantasia 2000 and was the supervising animator for the Genie in Aladdin -- is also pitch perfect, incorporating both Al Hiershfeld-inspired designs and an Art Deco vibe to envelope us in Tiana’s fantasy. It’s one of the kind of artistic risks that Disney used to do more often, like the Pink Elephants sequence in Dumbo, the fairy’s gift sequences in Sleeping Beauty, and the Zero to Hero sequence in Hercules, and you just don’t see this sort of highly stylized song sequence in most of Disney’s newer films. The only one that comes to mind is the “You’re Welcome” sequence in Moana, which ironically enough also featured Eric Goldberg drawing all of Maui’s “Mini-Maui” tattoos! Those sorts of stylized musical numbers is something I’d love to see more of in the Disney Revival, because it gives the film in question such character and can bring an already great song to new heights.

Naveen is a character who I could’ve very easily disliked upon first meeting him. Obnoxious, selfish, and/or vain characters -- such as Lightning McQueen from Cars or even Kuzco from The Emperor’s New Groove -- really tend to rub me the wrong way, unless there is something in the character at the very beginning that makes me want to see them improve themselves. Fortunately our main prince is saved for me because we see that along with his vain, shallow, playboy attitude, he also expresses a great love of music and living life to the fullest. He doesn’t ignore his responsibilities as a prince just to be rebellious or lazy, but because he is so in love with New Orleans and its culture. He isn’t an angry or willfully condescending person: he immediately starts dancing with regular New Orleans citizens and is enthralled with the moves of a tiny street entertainer. And just as Tiana represents the millennial experience through working multiple jobs just to make ends meet, Naveen expresses a different kind of millennial experience -- that of being so sheltered by one’s privilege that, once you’re on your own, you’re incapable of sustaining the life style you’ve become accustomed to and are led by society to believe you should be able to achieve. At this point, it’s still easy to feel sorry for Lawrence, Naveen’s resident “Peter Pettigrew-look-alike” manservant, though that impulse quickly disappears after we see his interactions with our villain, Dr. Facilier. Speaking of which...

Just as Tiana is my favorite Disney princess, Dr. Facilier is my favorite Disney villain. Voiced by Keith David, the man who previously gave life to Goliath in Disney’s Gargoyles, the so-called “Shadowman” is -- in Mum’s words -- just “deliciously evil.” His voice drips with cold charisma, dipping into rich bass tones but never sounding groggy or lacking in energy, and the animation -- done by Bruce W. Smith, supervising animator for Oscar Proud from the Disney Channel show The Proud Family -- just fits David’s line-reads like a glove. Although Lawrence briefly provokes Facilier, effectively foreshadowing his true viciousness, the witch doctor largely puts on a theatrical persona that entices even the most jaded viewers in with his song “Friends on the Other Side.” Mum brought up the wonderful comparison to Oogie Boogie in Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, and just like Oogie Boogie, Facilier’s number feels very unscripted and spontaneous, and yet it’s still conniving. Even though the song is jazzy and oddly conversational, there’s this dangerous, sinister darkness echoing in the background, not just in the echoing voices of the Friends on the Other Side but in the lyrics with multiple meanings (”when I look into your future, it’s the green that I’ve seen”). Along with the theatricality, however, Facilier doesn’t forget to also be very intimidating as a villain -- the scene where he turns Naveen into a frog gets quite scary in its imagery.

Just as everything seems to have come up roses for her, Tiana is suddenly about to lose the restaurant of her dreams for good. But there is still hope -- or, at least...there’s a frog. Or a prince. A frog pri -- you get the point. Interestingly Naveen, while a frog, reminded Mum and me of two very different characters. Mum immediately thought of Aladdin, thanks to his charming, smiling expressions, while I immediately thought of another frog seeking a kiss from a beautiful girl: Jean-Bob from The Swan Princess. I personally think the second of those is a coincidence, given that Jean-Bob and Naveen really don’t have much in common excluding a flamboyant accent, but Aladdin’s influence on Naveen’s character animation is pretty reasonable. After all, Flynn Rider’s design was also influenced by previous Disney princes.

Not having seen this movie in a while, I’d forgotten about the “frog hunters” sequence in the middle of the movie until it came on screen. I know that Tiana and Naveen had to face multiple dangers before they reached Mama Odie, not just for dramatic storytelling but also to help cement their budding relationship...but I’m sorry, the characters of the frog hunters are just...uncomfortable. The stereotypical portrayal just comes across as very mean-spirited, especially when compared to the great respect for New Orleans culture in the rest of the movie. The scene does give Tiana and Naveen good character development, though, so it’s a flaw I can overlook to enjoy the rest of the movie.

Usually I don’t enjoy Disney “sidekick” characters as much as I do more developed main or side characters, but I will grant that as sidekicks go, Louis the alligator and especially Ray the firefly are among the better ones. Louis is kind of there for humor more than to advance the plot at all, which is a shame, but Ray becomes both ridiculously charming and central to the film’s theme of love when we see his romantic side in his song “Ma Belle Evangeline.” This song has special significance to Mum and me, all because of Mum’s little Russian Blue/Short-Hair kitty, Evangeline, or Eva for short. When Eva and her sister Ella (full name Cinderella) were being driven home from the pound, the two cats were absolutely beside themselves, crying and yowling the whole way. The only thing that quieted them was me singing songs to them, including songs based on their names -- Cinderella’s opening theme (”Cinderella, you’re as lovely as your name”) for Ella, and “Ma Belle Evangeline” for Eva. Even now, Eva knows that that song is her song, and she always relaxes whenever she hears it. The song sequence in the film also beautifully reflects Tiana and Naveen’s budding relationship, which has already affected them enough that they are starting to take influence from each other. Tiana has started to open up and have some fun, while Naveen is more able to acknowledge his shortcomings and takes more responsibility. They even see eye to eye enough that they stop Louis from telling Ray that Evangeline is a star, not a firefly. Tiana/Naveen is my Disney OTP mainly because of that influence that they have on each other. Both of them are such beautifully flawed characters, but they both also teach and encourage each other to be better people than they would have been on their own.

Tiana and Naveen learn that if they want to turn human again, they need help from Charlotte, who will be “princess” of the Mardi Gras Parade until midnight that night. Unfortunately, when Tiana finds Charlotte, she finds her about to marry who she thinks is Naveen on a float in the parade. Admittedly I kind of wonder why Tiana didn’t consider that it might not be Naveen, as earlier she saw a human Naveen dancing with Charlotte before meeting frog!Naveen and so should know there’s an imposter, but I suppose it’s just story convention, to have this kind of a pre-climax misunderstanding. It’s the same reason why Naveen is locked in a box on the float where he can interrupt the wedding, rather than being stowed away more securely somewhere else, or why Charlotte didn’t turn into a frog too after not being able to turn Tiana and Naveen back.

At long last, our climax arrives. After Dr. Facilier “lays Ray low” in a scene that makes both Mum and me cry out in grief, he corners Tiana in the graveyard, enticing her with the dream she’s worked so hard for in the hopes of getting the medallion that would allow Lawrence to impersonate Naveen and Facilier to steal the La Bouff fortune. But because of all of the character development Tiana’s gone through, she remembers what’s really important -- the people she loves -- and she outdoes the Shadowman, condemning him to be yanked down into the underworld by his so-called “Friends” for all time. The growth Tia’s gone through also gives her the strength and courage needed to put her dream aside and tell Naveen about her feelings for him. And because she’s a true friend, Charlotte shows no hint of bitterness about missing out on her “happily ever after” with Naveen -- instead she immediately is supportive of her friend and tries to fight for her happiness, to the extent that she looks over the moon when Tiana and Naveen get married as humans. Even Ray, who Mum wishes desperately had been able to make it, achieves happiness by finally becoming a star beside his beloved Evangeline. As our film comes to an end with a reprise of “Down in New Orleans,” we’re left with a sense of triumph and optimism...two things that embody our newly crowned princess beautifully.

The Princess and the Frog is a movie that, in Mum’s and my opinion, should receive much more appreciation that it has. Financially speaking, it only did about as well as The Great Mouse Detective and Lilo and Stitch in theaters, but it still has left a lasting impact. I still see plenty of little girls dressing as Tiana in the parks, and I still hear about young black women and girls who have found validation and comfort in the first African American Disney princess. Even I, who share a complexion with white bread, find Tiana an engaging, brilliant role model in today’s world -- in Mum’s words, she embraces the idea of success being half inspiration and half perspiration, but she also learns the virtue in disregarding the chase for success when it comes at the cost of your values. She learns how to love, how to grow, and how to change, while also encouraging the best from those around her. The Princess and the Frog also features what I would argue is the best Disney animated villain since the Disney Renaissance, a soundtrack that embraces its setting to the Nth degree, and a prince who grows just as much as his love interest does while they are together. It’s not a perfect film, but no film is, and Mum and I hope that like other Disney films that didn’t make much money on their initial theatrical releases, we as a Disney fanbase can make this movie a cult classic and give it the love it fought so hard to earn and so rightfully deserves. Look how it lights up the screen -- ma belle Princess and the Frog!

[pellicano-sanguino]

Wasted potential in fiction is worse than a story that’s just bad overall.

If someone had asked me couple years ago what vampire books I liked the most, one I would have definitely brought up was Vampire Winter by Lois Tilton. 

It’s a post-nuclear story, where a vampire is at first joyful that the fallout clouds cover the sun both day and night so he is free to hunt whenever he wants but things get worse rather soon. Turns out humans who have been exposed to the radiation have turned undrinkable, poisonous for even vampires. Also, the amount of survivors is small and getting lesser by the day as desperate people leave their shelters to find food and supplies and run from looters, risking radiation poisoning. The vampire who used to kill his victims without mercy is at a situation where he can’t afford to lose a single healthy human to avoid starvation. So he strikes a symbiotic deal with a bunch of humans: since he is unaffected by radiation, he will wander out and bring them food, medicine, even books to pass their time, in exchange for blood donations. This is what I remembered from the book, and thought it good, because I’m a sucker for interesting relationship dynamics between a vampire and their donors.

However, I re-read the book recently and was surprised. It wasn’t nearly as good as I remembered it. The interesting symbiotic relationship between the vampire and his donors only lasts a short period of the book and then they go their separate ways and the vampire for some weird reason just goes back to killing his victims again. Also, there was a lot of completely unnecessary violence towards women. The book tries to have a message of “in hard times it’s better to spare lives and co-operate than divide into groups all against each other” and that “every life is precious” but then goes and has the donors leave behind a mentally handicapped girl for the vampire to kill because she would just be “a burden” for the survivors. Also, there’s a fucking gang rape scene. I’m...   confused...   how did I ever convince myself this was a good book?!

The problem was that my memories were too focused on the one part of the book I found super fascinating. The vampire-donor symbiosis plot was such a great story idea that I actually forgot the rest of the book is shit. I was too intrigued by the story’s potential I failed to notice it doesn’t properly utilize the great idea it had and just turns into a gross masculine violence fantasy.

It’s a shame, because with little changes, this could have been an awesome book. But it completely wasted its potential and left me much more disappointed than would have been the case if it were just a regular old shitty vampire novel with nothing new and interesting added.

I just finished a new book that has the same problem and it infuriates me. It’s a book that has some really great parts but then goes and ruins everything. This book is called Pure Mua (”Bite Me”) by Terhi Tarkiainen. I know, writing about a Finnish book in Tumblr might be useless, since what are the chances Finnish vampire enthusiasts will find my posts, but I want to vent my frustration about it somewhere. So here goes.

Finnish vampire fiction is a rare species. There are some short stories but the only novel I can think of is Jarkko Laine’s Vampyyri, which is a very...   specific Finnish literature category; a “tuskapaskakirja” (literally, pain-shit-book) where everyone is miserable and things just get more and more depressing until the whole garbage reaches a lame anticlimax like a bowl of ice cream I accidentally put in the refrigerator instead of in the freezer. Not my kind of book. So, when I heard the rare species had spawned a new book, Pure Mua, I got curious.

My expectations about the book were mixed. I generally don’t like modern Finnish literature. The few books of it that I had to read back in high school or by getting them as gifts were at best incredibly boring and at worst insufferable pretentious artsy junk. However, this book looked like it aimed to be entertaining, not fake deep and for intellectuals only. It whispered a promise of genuinely embracing its own cheesiness. And, well, I do like cheese.

So I read the book. And my opinions remain conflicting with one another. I can’t really say if I liked it or not because for every part that was done well there was something that seriously rubbed me the wrong way.

The story itself is really well written. The text flows naturally and is pleasant to read, the narration is occasionally very witty and humorous. The plot twists are unpredictable which is unfortunately rare in this genre. Vampire fiction is so full of reused story ideas that they often turn out rather predictable. But this book surprised me several times. Of course, unpredictability shouldn’t be valued by itself. Writers who intentionally lead the reader in one direction only to pull a carpet under their feet or who make their characters behave in unreasonable and inconsistent manner just to get a juicy plot twist, usually don’t produce good quality stories. These plot twists however feel natural and well planned, not there just for the shock value. The plot also escalates constantly, forcing you to read chapter after chapter because you don’t want to leave it at an intense cliffhanger.

Since the vampire fiction is full of reused story ideas, it’s rare that I come across a book that has something I haven’t seen before. The basic premise of this book is that since vampires aren’t classified as humans, human rights don’t apply to them and there’s a ring of illegal slave trade where a “kennel” produces “specimens” for the rich assholes who want to turn their fantasies of dating a hot vampire into reality. Human trafficking basicly, only with vampires. I have not bumped into this story idea before. Usually the power dynamics are reversed, the vampires being the cruel monsters who do horrible things to humans. I know the whole “humans are the real monsters”-trope is old and overused, but surprisingly rarely does it happen in vampire fiction. I guess it’s because to a lot of friends of this genre vampires are a power fantasy and they wouldn’t enjoy seeing them tamed and subjected to something as horrifying as human trafficking.

So, the book turns the traditional vampire/human power dynamics upside down. However, the protagonist actually doesn’t want the pet vampire her nutty parents bought her as a birthday present. She tries to find a way to safely release him back “into the wild” but has trouble coming up with a solution on how to do it and ensure he won’t be recaptured by the trafficking ring again (since he is chipped). 

Next I’m going to spoil the last plot twist of the book. Turns out the trafficking ring is led not by humans but by a loony communist vampire who has a diabolical plan. He intentionally made vampire pets a trend among the filthy rich and then once every elite household in Finland has one, he intends to shut down the safety chips that give the vampires electric shocks if they attack their masters and let the hungry, abused, vengeful vampire slaves drink all the greedy capitalist pigs.

And this is...   supposed to be the main villain of the book. I’m supposed to be appalled and horrified by this impending slaughter of innocent humans. Well. Does it make me a monster if I say I think this is a great plan? Everyone who buys a personal sex toy from a human trafficking ring deserves to be devoured by ravenous vampires. The fact that the victims of slavery aren’t technically human here changes nothing since their intelligence is identical to ours. And creeps who would buy a vampire would definitely buy a woman or a little girl too. 

Everyone who thinks slavery is a fun hobby that the elite should be allowed to do again deserves to be killed by their slave.

The slavery theme is one of the reasons I have such conflicting opinions about this book. It’s such a horrifying scenario and you really, really want to see the main vampire freed from it, you want to see him and the main character succeed in their attempt to destroy the vampire slave trade. But then the book decides to focus less on the horrors of slavery and...    actually romanticize prostitution. The vampires in this book’s universe are all nymphomaniacs and addicted to sex. Umm...   ok, your world, you do what you want. But I really can’t stand the stereotype of seductive, nymphomaniac prostitutes, who do it because they enjoy their “work”, considering how the harsh reality of prostitution is something completely different. “She likes it anyway” is a lie slimy old men tell one another to feel less guilty when they go to Thailand to “play minigolf.” Hurk. Hork. Barf. I know this is fiction and the vampires aren’t human (and we don’t see female vampires) but I really wish people would stop writing this character type. Also, I hate stories where a noble person saves a prostitute and is “rewarded” by their love (in other words, gets to fuck the prostitute anyway, feeding into the idea that “nice guys” who protect women from creeps deserve sex as a reward.)

I give the book one point for the scene where the protagonist starts to caress her slave when she’s super drunk but then is startled and horrified at what she did, thinking that she has become a monster.

If there’s one thing I hate even more than romanticizing prostitution, it’s sexual violence. Thank goodness this story doesn’t have that but it’s bad enough that one male vampire constantly threatens the protagonist with rape. And I’m supposed to care about this guy and worry about what will happen to him. There’s something so disgustingly...   male...   in the thought process that when you want to hurt someone, your first thought is rape. When a woman sees a person they love being abused by someone, she might beat the abuser into a fine pulp but no, women do not rape, women do not use sex as a torture devise. If a guy gets hard from anger and wants to fuck someone he hates there is something seriously wrong with him and he needs to seek help. Men are scum!

This book isn’t a particularly pleasant read for a feminist anyway. With the exception of the protagonist, all female characters are lazily written, unconvincing, misogynistic cardboard cutouts. Male characters on the other hand are, with the exception of the main villain, painted as flawed but sympathetic. The protagonist has a stalker ex who doesn’t understand the concept of “no.” I was convinced this creep would turn out to be a villain in the end, trying to kill the protagonist because “if I can’t have you, no one else can!” Because everything he said and did kept raising the red flags. But no, I’m supposed to find him charming and loveable and his stupid bratboy jokes soooo hilarious. The book wants me to think of all the women except protagonist as either mean-spirited bitches or dumb blondes (your “I’m not like other girls”-complex is showing...) and feel sympathy towards a creepy stalker and a guy who threatens women with rape. Right. Is this some het culture bullshit or just what exactly am I not getting? Also, if your only way to make the heroine likeable is to turn all the other women into cartoonishly evil or ridiculously immature and stupid so that she'll look better in comparison, the reader will become suspicious of her character (because exaggerating the faults in others while claiming you yourself are perfectly innocent is a strategy used by narcisstic, manipulative jerkfaces).

I’m also rather disappointed that the book relies on stereotyping Fenno-Swedes. Fenno-Swedes are the Swedish speaking minority, descendants from rich Swedes that were given land here back when Finland was part of Sweden. Because many of them are still in the upper class, having inherited their ancestors land and wealth, the middle and lower class Finnish speaking Finns tend to be racist towards them, considering them smug elitists and disgustingly rich capitalists who never had to work for their wealth. Making the main character a Fenno-Swede and then giving her behavior that strengthens the prejudice against “bättre folk” is just really lazy writing, it’s like having a romani character and having her do shoplifting. Sure, the protagonist wants to be different than her gross parents who would buy a sex slave as a gift, but her attitude towards money is the same indifference. Oh, I smashed my phone to pieces because the phone call made me angry. Oh well. Pappa betalar. 

There’s a scene where the protagonist and the stalker ex witness a protest that consists simultaneously of racists who want to close the borders and unemployed who blame the government for their poverty (right. You really want to draw “equals as” sign between crazy nationalist bigots and unfortunate people trapped in unemployment hell? Fuck you, fuck you so much.). The protagonist asks where all this hatred comes from and the stalker ex explains that when a person is in a bad situation in life they seek scapegoats to blame for their troubles, whether that be foreigners or politicians. But since we’ve already gone the route of giving the protagonist stereotypical Fenno-Swede behaviour, why not let her voice the opinion of “If the lower class is angry at the upper class it’s because they project unfair blame onto the rich, surely their suffering has nothing to do with the elite’s greed and misuse of power.” Now, opinions like this wouldn’t matter to me normally, because characters are allowed to be flawed, but when those flaws rely on harmful stereotypes, it’s disappointing.

I want to like this book. It’s so genuine and entertaining and well written. But I threw up in my mouth so frequently while reading it that I don’t think I care to read it another time. If it was written a little differently, I would probably love this book. But there’s no use crying after wasted potential. I can’t help but praise the book for the parts that are really good, but I can’t recommend it either. I would have preferred it to be either all good or all shit, not this mixture of gold and rust.

[ayearofpike]

Master of Murder

Pocket Books, 1992 198 pages, 14 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-69059-0 LOC: CPB Box no. 1081 vol. 14 OCLC: 26075926 Released July 28, 1992 (per B&N)

Everybody’s reading the thrilling Silver Lake series by Mack Slate. With the last book due out in a few months, fans are excited to finally find out who killed Ann McGaffer. Only problem is, Slate — that is to say, twelfth-grade nobody Marvin Summer, hiding behind a pen name  — has no idea himself, and hasn’t even started writing the book. It’s only as he works to close the distance between himself and his crush, Shelly Quade, that the grand finale starts to make itself clear to him, in ways that unexpectedly and gruesomely parallel his own life.

This might not be my favorite Pike book, but it has certainly had the most influence on me. I’ve always called myself a writer, since a fifth-grade teacher recognized my ability to craft a narrative and pointed out that somebody had to make books and I should think about it. In high school, it was my defining trait, and it wasn’t until I’d almost graduated from college that I realized it didn’t make me special. Everybody has a story, as Marvin finds out, and some of them are even better at telling it in an engaging way. It’s sad, in a way, that I identified with this book so much (like, I literally carried it in my backpack for my entire senior year) and it still took me so long to get that theme.

What I did get was an intense sense of connection with Marvin. Shy loner? Check. Separated parents who didn’t get along? Check. Younger sibling who wanted to be like me? Check. An English teacher hung up on prescriptive strictures of language who quietly cared about her students, and a language teacher who was more interested in building a classroom community than sticking to a scheduled curriculum? Check and double-check. Writing ability revered by peers? Check, even if my work rarely made it past my immediate circle of friends. Subconscious inclusion of issues I was going through in my work, to the point where it got me in trouble with the girl I liked? Well, not directly observable, but I mean, it’s hard to not come off creepy if you’re writing a love story to a girl instead of, like, actually TALKING to her.

I also really enjoyed the way Pike works with language in this book, and honestly, I still do. Modern YA gets a lot more respect, and deservingly so, but a lot of it is written in a direct, almost sparse way. It makes sense, considering how many contemporary authors write in the first person, and most people don’t actually think in metaphors and syllogisms and even (to some degree) descriptive adjectives. Master of Murder kind of goes hog-wild on this, kind of a leap from representational art to impressionist art. And I buy it. As Marvin is our POV character, it makes sense that as a writer he’d put some more florid prose into his observations and understandings of the world. Plus, this style kind of helps to establish him as an unreliable narrator, as we slowly learn how much he actually doesn’t know and, in fact, how much maybe he’s repressed.

That said, this story does have some holes. Let’s jump into the summary and I’ll get there.

We start out with Marvin in his English class, watching Shelly read his most recent book and thinking about their relationship. They’d gone out a handful of times a year before, but it stopped after the death of Harry Paster, another flame of Shelly’s who’d jumped off a cliff into the nearby lake. Marvin figures enough time has passed that he can ask her out again, but first he has to read the short story he’s dashed off for their creative writing assignment. Man, remember when creative writing was an actual COMPONENT of high school English class? And the only reason I got to do it was that I took a creative-writing-focused senior English course. I mean, I get it — public school English is about preparing you to pass the SAT or ACT, not teaching you how to reach and grab an audience. They save that for us, in post-secondary ed, by which time the interest in writing has already been drilled out of kids by making them do repetitive five-paragraph essays. Most of my students still don’t want to write, but I at least try to give them some room in the assignment structure to flex their creative muscles.

But anyway, “The Becoming of Seymour the Frog” is a legitimately good short-short story. It gives us a sense of Marvin’s author voice straight away, which is of course the same as the narrative, and it legitimizes how much Pike uses what modern writers would call excessive description. The teacher grades it right away (what? I give everything two reads, and this teacher is just going to LISTEN one time?) and tells Marvin he might be a writer someday if he learns to control himself. We both (the reader and Marvin, that is) know he’s already there, and Marvin completely discredits this advice. He writes best by giving up control and going into a state of flow, one where he can’t stop writing but also doesn’t necessarily feel that what’s going onto the page is coming from inside his own head. This is important later.

After class, he catches up to Shelly, but their talking is interrupted by the arrival of her current squeeze, Triad Tyler. Triad is a big dumb football jock who wants to buy Marvin’s motorcycle, which Marvin would never dream of selling. Before he can get around to asking her out, she ducks into the bathroom, and Triad complains that it seems like she’s always trying to escape. This is probably important later too. So already in the first 15 pages, Pike has nicely set up the major characters and their interplay with each other.

We jump to speech class, and I call BS. Like, we learn later that Marvin only has four classes as a senior. Why is one of them speech? My high school only required a half-day of seniors, sure, but our classes were English, math, world history, and economics. It turns out this class would be better called “communication skills,” which was required in ninth grade, but I’d still buy that more than speech. The teacher basically has them engage in conversational debate, and this day the topic they choose is Mack Slate’s Silver Lake series. It’s a good framework for sharing Marvin’s story, and showing the corner he’s painted himself into: Ann McGaffer’s body was found naked and tied up with barbed wire floating in Silver Lake, and five books on we’re no closer to figuring out who did it or why. The description grosses me out a iittle bit, but on the heels of the last two super-tropey thrillers, I’m going to choose to believe that Pike is poking fun at the intentional shock attempts of the genre.

After class, Marvin finally successfully asks Shelly out for that night, then goes to his PO box to pick up his fan mail. His little sister is already there, and once again we’re subjected to the jaw-droppingly beautiful small child. It was gross when it was fifteen-year-old Jennifer Wagner, but Ann Summer is ELEVEN and Marvin’s SISTER. Pike, isn’t it possible to describe a female one cares about without making it all about her looks? He does it with Marvin’s mom in a few pages too, when they get home. We get it — girls we care about are hot. Only problem is Marvin’s mom is an alcoholic who almost never leaves the house except to buy more booze. Dad is an alcoholic, too, but he’s not at home and his child support payments are erratic. Good thing there’s a best-selling author living in the house! But Ann’s the only one who knows, and it kills her to not be able to sing her brother’s praises and brag about how great he is.

They go upstairs to Marvin’s room to read his mail, and one of the last letters makes him pause. It has a local postmark, and the letter inside simply says “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.” It starts to pull the book into more general thriller territory, but before we can think too much about it, the phone rings and it’s Marvin’s editor, asking about Silver Lake Book Six, which is four months overdue. I have some serious questions about the timeline of this series, but we’ll get there in a little bit. Marvin soothes her concerns, then goes to take a walk around the lake, trying to figure out where to start his book but not actually ready to start it before he picks up Shelly.

The date is successful, by most measures. They have dinner, go to a movie, and then stop on a bridge crossing a raging river because Shelly wants to look at the water. They sit down on the edge, Marvin landing on an old and weathered piece of rope, and watch the waters pound away down to their final destination — the lake. Then Shelly invites Marvin back to her house to sit in the hot tub, where they get naked and make out, but she suddenly gets sad and pulls away. I give Marvin props for being respectful and apologetic here rather than trying to force her to continue. Woke in 1992! But as he’s getting ready to leave, he learns the reason she’s sad: Shelly is thinking about Harry, which he expected, but he didn’t expect to learn that she thinks he was murdered. And she wants Marvin’s help to figure it out and clear Harry’s name.

There’s no basis for this belief, but Marvin figures he might as well listen and do some research, seeing as he can’t figure out his own murder mystery. He checks his PO box first, and finds another ominous letter that’s been mailed there directly rather than to his publishing house, so maybe somebody really does know him. He calls his agent (whose name is one letter away from a real literary rep, maybe even Pike’s) to ask about it. This insert, plus the editor whose name was close to the woman in charge of YA at Simon and Schuster at the time, made so many of us so sure that this was as close to autobiographical as Pike had ever gotten. I seriously chased leads from this book to try to figure out more about him, back before he started answering questions on Facebook and there was so much less mystery about it.

So then Marvin goes back over to Shelly’s house to talk about Harry. She has the police report and autopsy report, and Marvin looks them over, along with articles about Harry’s death from newspapers at the time. What it boils down to is Friday night a year before, a night when Marvin had taken Shelly out for her birthday, Harry and Triad were drinking beer together. Triad said that he dropped Harry off at home, and that was the last time anybody saw him until a fisherman found his body in the lake on Monday morning. Marvin starts to question the narrative that Harry jumped, because there are several physical symptoms that indicate maybe he was held captive. He talks to the fisherman and to Harry’s mom, and takes a look at the jacket Harry was wearing, and makes note of definite rope burn marks around the back and under the armpits. So Harry was tied up somewhere for a long time  — but where? And how?

Marvin goes home to rest and digest this info, and has a dream about his book series that shows Ann McGaffer hanging from a bridge by a rope around her waist. He’s startled awake by Ann, who says that their dad is breaking things downstairs. Marvin gets down there just in time to watch his dad shove a lamp into the TV, and the resultant cuts to Ann and his mom from the exploding picture tube send Marvin into a fit of rage. He starts to beat the shit out of his own father, and only stops when Ann tells him to, even though the dude is unconscious. Like, holy shit, buried violent tendencies that will make you like your father? So Marvin gets the hell out of the house to give himself some space.

He ends up back at his PO box, even though he knows there couldn’t have been another delivery, but there sure is a letter in it. He follows this back to Shelly’s house, where he finds her making out in the hot tub with Triad. Marvin overhears her say that she was using him to get him to do something, and Triad tells her not to go out with Marvin anymore, to which she readily agrees. So now Marvin is scared, he is heartbroken, and he has unlocked some deep-seated rage that will allow him to strike back. He ends up on the bridge, where he starts to figure out what must have happened a year ago. There’s a rope, there’s a giant oil stain on the bridge right behind it, and there’s a dead boy with rope burns on his jacket who was maybe hanging from it rather than being tied up. Marvin figures that Harry was jealous of his relationship with Shelly and decided to stage a little motorcycle accident, but accidentally slipped off the bridge and ended up hanging himself, slowly suffocating to death until the rope broke and he washed down to the lake.

And it occurs to Marvin that this would be a perfect way to get back at Triad.

After a misadventure with two girls in a bookstore who accuse him of trying to pick them up by pretending to be Mack Slate, Marvin buys a new car and a bunch of motorcycle-dropping gear at Sears, then takes the bike to Triad’s house to sell it to him. Marvin says that he left the helmet in a motel in the town across the river, and that the manager said he was going to throw it out if Triad didn’t pick it up tonight. Then he hikes to the car, which he’s had delivered around the block, and goes to stake out the bridge. While he’s waiting, he starts to think about the parallels between his own series and how Harry died. And we learn that the first Silver Lake book only came out after Harry’s death — in fact, that Marvin didn’t start writing it until then.

So this is my timing issue. Master of Murder does have some gaping inconsistencies, I’m not gonna lie. There’s the variable height of the bridge over the river: it’s 150 feet when Marvin and Shelly stop on their date, and maybe 60 when they have the final showdown two nights later. Also, later apparently Shelly knows details of a book that Marvin hasn’t even written yet? But this, in my mind, is the biggest problem. We’re supposed to believe that in a year, five books have come out about Ann McGaffer and her loves and hates. We’re also supposed to believe that he’s four months late with book six, and that it takes at least three months for the publisher to turn a story around and get it into bookstores. We also have the information that the fastest Marvin’s ever written a novel is eighteen days. So by that logic, there’s no way he could have finished and submitted Silver Lake Book One before mid-December. So five books have somehow appeared between probably March and let’s say November (they say the fifth one just came out) — five books in seven months — but they’re going to wait another three months to release the sixth? Also, how does an author, even an experienced and acclaimed one, sell a six-book series to his publisher without knowing the beats and especially the ending? There are too many inconsistencies and timeline impossibilities for me to buy it. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Pike was a new author writing publication fanfiction.

But anyway, Triad races across to the other town. Marvin is too far away to see him, but he recognizes the sound of his motorcycle. He grabs his rope, his knife, his can of oil, and his binoculars, and hustles the probably mile to the bridge to set up his death trap. But as the motorcycle is coming back, he gets his first good look — and sees Shelly on the back. So he drops the rope, but Triad is already braking, stops short of it, and shoves Marvin off the bridge.

So now it’s Marvin hanging from his armpits by a rope under the bridge above a raging river that leads to the lake in his town, and did I mention he’s wearing Harry’s jacket? Shelly’s more annoyed than angry — it turns out she’s expected this from Marvin the whole time. In fact, she DOES know who Mack Slate is, and she’s already read about this scheme in the Silver Lake books. But Marvin doesn’t even remember writing it. She wants to turn Marvin in to the police. But Triad wants to untie the rope and drop him into the river.

And suddenly Marvin knows what actually happened. Harry wasn’t alone on the bridge a year ago. Triad was with him, and shoved Harry just as he shoved Marvin. Shelly doesn’t believe it until Triad knocks her out for trying to stop him killing Marvin too. Marvin manages to get hold of the underside of the bridge just as Triad unties the rope, then he kicks Triad in the face when he leans over to look and see whether Marvin has actually fallen. The semi-conscious wedged body of the football jock gives Marvin a ladder to climb back up onto the bridge, and he stomps out Triad’s bad knee when the dude wakes up and threatens to go after him again. Only the knife falls out of his pocket as he does so, and Shelly picks that moment to come to, and it’s a simple matter for Triad to grab both her and the knife and threaten her death if Marvin doesn’t help him get away.

What’s in it for Marvin, though? The guy who tried to kill him is holding the girl who tried to frame him for a death the guy is responsible for. He gets on his bike, where Triad has courteously left the keys in the ignition, and drives away. I don’t like that he’s left a vulnerable girl at the almost-complete mercy (he can’t stand up) of a confirmed killer. What I like least is that he doesn’t even call the police. But then again, he’s abandoned his new car in the woods near the scene and surely doesn’t want to be implicated if somebody dies. So Marvin drives to a seaside town, rents a house and a computer, and writes an entire book in five days, only stopping to eat and sleep. Of course, within a few pages of the end he has to stop, because he doesn’t actually know how Ann’s best friend, left in the clutches of the boyfriend’s jealous best friend, is going to escape, or whether in fact she does.

Marvin calls his editor and tells her the story is done and he’ll express-overnight it to her. He also asks her to set up a reading from it at his high school that afternoon. More BS? Like, how are they going to allow an author to read from a book that the editor hasn’t even SEEN, let alone put through proofs and galleys? Marvin has to physically print and ship the manuscript — remember, this is 1992 and most people don’t have email yet (and when it would become widespread in a few years, it still had a hyphen). But she does it, and Marvin goes home first to find out that Dad’s in jail and Mom hasn’t touched a drop since. More good news! He takes Ann with him to school, where the entire student body is in stunned disbelief about the identity of Mack Slate, and finally gets some personal acknowledgement from his peers and teachers.

But Shelly doesn’t show up. Neither does Triad. The kids he does ask say neither has been in school all week. Marvin can’t dwell on this, because he has a major book series to finish, but it’s precisely this reason that he hasn’t made it all the way to the end yet. He knows that he needs someone else’s story to finish his own. So he goes back to the lake, and makes his way to the top of the cliff that everyone thought Harry jumped from. As he’s thinking, Shelly shows up with his knife. She tells Marvin that she suspected him of being Mack Slate back when they were dating, and he would tell her stories that had the same voice as Slate’s published work. So she sneaked into Marvin’s room one day and snooped in his computer for proof.

When the Silver Lake books started coming out, she saw the parallels immediately, and figured the only way Marvin could have known so much about how Harry died is if he had killed him. She got Triad, Harry’s best friend, to help her set up a situation where Marvin would implicate himself, not realizing that Triad had always wanted Shelly and been jealous of both of the other guys and didn’t care who hurt if it meant nobody else could have Shelly. That includes Shelly herself: if Triad couldn’t be with her, nobody else would. He didn’t tell Harry that Marvin and Shelly were out together that night, and when Harry realized Shelly was on the back of the motorcycle he did like Marvin and dropped the rope. So Triad pushed him.

Triad obviously has told Shelly all of this, and Marvin figures the only way he would have is if Shelly somehow overpowered him. It’s an interesting twist that she told Triad about using Marvin to get him to figure out Harry’s death and Triad never realized she might use him for the same purpose. (I feel like Shelly has more strength than even the story gives her credit for, seeing as Pike describes all her agency as coming at the hands of her feminine wiles.) Marvin suspects that here, the spot where it all began, is the spot where it has all ended as well, and that the soft soil where he’s sitting is Triad’s final resting place. Shelly doesn’t say as much, but elicits Marvin’s silence before throwing the knife into the lake. But of course Marvin still has a book to finish, and Shelly’s OK with that as she’s apparently the only one who’s figured out the parallels anyway. The book closes with them in Marvin’s car, Shelly driving to Portland so they can get the manuscript on a flight to New York while Marvin writes the last few pages longhand.

I have to admit it: I still really like Master of Murder. Obviously I’m not in high school anymore, so I don’t relate to Marvin the way I used to, but I do connect to his being trapped in his own story and having to listen for others. The book has a lot of holes and inconsistencies in general that either I didn’t notice when I was a teenager or I glossed over in the excitement of having a character I could relate to so well. In particular, the YA publishing description is not without issues, and the ways the industry has changed after the Internet and Columbine and social networks and Trayvon Martin and #MeToo don’t jibe with the already-shoddy impression of how it works that Pike puts on display. The story is consigned to be a relic of its time. But for those of us who were there, who were trying to make our stories heard the way Marvin wanted to, it carries some warm nostalgia. Maybe I only like it so much now because I liked it then, but I’m OK with that.

[random-thoughts-collection]

Supernatural | 13.13 Review

Supernatural - Devil's Bargain

written by Eugenie Ross-Leming & Brad Buckner, directed by Eduardo Sánchez

I feel like Ross-Leming and Buckner get at least one or two episodes each season where they try to stuff as much plot development as possible into one episode. This is one of these episodes and it suffers from too many villains and from a predictable and boring focus point. I’m afraid I didn’t like this episode, and while there are a few good things in there, this review won’t be positive about most of this episode’s elements – especially when putting them in the context of the whole show.

Recycling stories: Lucifer

“I am powered down. But you can't kill me.”

Bringing back Lucifer as the big bad (or one of the big bads) was never a plot development I liked. It didn’t work for me in season 11, it made less sense in season 12, and having him around in season 13 creates a plot that feels sadly repetitive while giving us a less threatening Lucifer, a less impressive Lucifer, a less effective Lucifer and a less intriguing character all around. See, we had that angel-gone-human plot before. We saw it in Anna’s story in season 4 who wanted it, we saw Castiel dealing with being human in season 9 and learning from the experience, and we saw Metatron going through it and hating it in season 10 and 11. Where is the point in wasting Lucifer of all characters on that plot, especially after season 12 dealt with him being powerless quite extensively? Reducing your powerful archangel to a beggar is not a new and special idea, making them into a caricature of themselves is not a good idea, and with all this in mind most of this episode felt like a waste to me.

And there are so many parts about the plot that don’t make any sense to me. What is the point of angels stabbing each other with angel blades if it doesn’t really do anything to them? Why was Castiel running away from Asmodeus’ hideout, only to run back to it afterwards? If Lucifer is so powered down that he has to beg for food, why can’t the cupid defend himself again Lucifer? And how and why would Lucifer be able to create new angels? I can imagine he saw God doing it, but I dislike the idea that he can just do it himself just because he has seen it. For Jack that might be acceptable, him being a quite unique mix of archangel and human, but I don’t see why Lucifer would have that kind of creational power. Just convincing the angels because he can give them their wings back would have made more sense to me. And here’s another complaint: Lucifer on that throne in heaven looked utterly ridiculous. The design of the whole room looks uninspired but not simple enough to really impress through simplicity. The kneeling angels look out-of-place as well, and if they’re the only angels left that’s really not much. But if there are more then there should have been more. As it is, Lucifer doesn’t look like the ruler of Heaven but more like a wannabe king of a tiny sandbox.

And one little side note on Castiel: his part in this episode was mostly okay and I really enjoyed how he knocked Ketch out – but you of all people don’t get to say “If he were lying, I'd have known it” because you are not good at detecting lies in general while Lucifer is the King of Lies. I wouldn’t blame anyone for not believing your assessment of the situation.

Mini-plots & bringing back all the characters

“That's proven to be, uh, monumentally stupid?” – “Indeed.”

One thing Asmodeus, Ketch and I can agree on: taking Lucifer as a prisoner was a stupid idea. But I’m currently wondering for what the Crowley substitute and Ketch are needed in this season’s main plot. Asmodeus tried to get Jack on his side in the first couple of episodes and it didn’t work, they discussed all his backstory with Lucifer and the Shedim, he imprisoned Castiel and Lucifer and that didn’t have any consequences… so far this plot feels pointless and is therefore very frustrating to watch. I hope they actually go somewhere with this, but I’m worried they’ll end this specific plot without any satisfactory conclusion.

In a way it makes sense for the Winchesters to temporally work with Ketch since he saved their lives. And the Winchesters have worked with their enemies before (Lucifer, Metatron, the hunters who killed them, you name it…), so it’s nothing new to them. But for the same reason I wish they would just refuse to work with their enemy for once. To let them feel their pain and hurt for once and not have to ignore it – and even let Ketch get away with it all after everything is said and done. Ketch is also a difficult element here because of the way they brought him back. That the Winchesters wouldn’t salt and burn him is absolute nonsense, and every time he is onscreen I am reminded of that.

Speaking of the past: Asmodeus introduced us to the archangel blade and I can’t help but think that it would have been useful to know about it when the Winchesters fought Lucifer for the first time. Am I to believe they never found it during all their hours of research? That is one of the major problems if you revisit the same plot over and over again. Instead of doing something different than evil archangels and demons all the time it would create less plot holes and continuity issues if they would explore different legends and myths. Can this show please stop with the super knives? And after bringing Castiel, Billie, Ketch and Rowena back from the dead in this seasons now we can also add Gabriel to the list. Why are people in this show afraid of death again?   I can’t feel any excitement about Gabriel’s return and I have no idea how they will explain him being alive.

Anael

“After The Fall, when we lost our wings, I wasn't devastated. I was liberated. I was finally free.”

Sister Jo – or Anael – was a nice change from the usual stuck-up angel. We don’t see angels that have some interest and even sympathy for humans very often, and although Anael obviously exploits them and has only her self-interest in mind, she reminded me a little bit of Anna when she spoke about how she felt after her The Fall and how she sometimes envies humans. It’s for different reasons than Anna, but it was nice to see. As a result she seemed more human than the usual Heaven-Corporation-angel, and less dull than the average angels we get to see. Chemistry-wise her scenes with Lucifer were a bit weird though, mainly because Lucifer is not intimidating at all these days – for the viewer at least. It’s hard to watch the characters on screen are afraid or at least worried about him when you can’t feel anything of this supposed danger at all. This makes the grace-sharing moments uncomfortable as well. I’m not surprised that Ross-Leming and Buckner felt the need to get some sort of sexual undertones in this episode, but I was mostly grossed out by it. There is no attraction between Anael and Lucifer so I don’t see the need for this kind of moment, and while Lucifer is described as a seducer in many works he definitively doesn’t look like this in his current beggar state. So while I enjoyed Anael being her own person, I hope we’ll see her in different company the next time she is on screen.

And on a second thought: in some versions of the mythology Anael isn’t just a lowly angel but an actual archangel. For the longest time I thought of Anna as Anael, but that’s now not possible anymore. I just wish that when this angel appears they would have made Anael a more powerful, more meaningful angel.

And the Winchesters…

“Yeah, well, most of what we do are long shots. You get used to it.”

…were barely in this episode. They were dutifully collecting the different threads of plot and tying them together, but aside from that there was not a lot to do for them. They formed a new plan and I suppose therefore the writers felt there was no need to address Sam’s current mental state any longer, they’re overseeing Donatello’s translation progress and they lost another fight yet again.

Can we be done with angels and demons now, please?

Next: Good Intentions (spoilers)

It looks like we will find out what Jack has been up to so far and also meet Mary again.  We will be seeing the alternate version of Bobby Singer again, and apparently at least Castiel finds a way to talk to Jack. The next episode is written by Meredith Glynn and most of her episodes were decently written, so I am optimistic that next week’s episode will be more enjoyable than this week’s episode. Admittedly, the bar is low.

[beyond-far-horizons]

My thoughts on Last Jedi, the backlash and its relation to the archetypal storytelling of the Star Wars Saga.

I have been trying to gather my thoughts on this film, the reaction and the Sequels in general. My overall reaction, after two viewings, some reflection and looking at both sides, is the same as it was when I first saw it - mixed. But given how much the series means to me and others I think analysing our reactions is important.

Spoilers for Star Wars including TFA and TLJ and the film Labyrinth. This is my opinion - repeat just my opinion and won’t be tagged because I don’t want to get into a fan war or debate. Aggressive attempts to do so will just be blocked so play nice ;) Warning for a long-ass post.

Let’s start with what I liked -

It was fun overall. 

The opening fight with Poe was amazing, fast, funny and emotional.

More Poe was a good thing (mostly) and his dynamic with Leia was great - I loved that they had a headstrong male pilot with Leia as his mentor. I also liked the fan observation that Leia puts up with some of his antics because he’s like the son she should/could have had (no disrespect to Ben/Kylo.) Oscar Issac even notes the maternal relationship and that is super cute. 

Leia - nice to see her more front and centre - a general, a stateswoman, a force-user (yes), a mother, a sister and still looking fabulous. Carrie will be missed so much. I grieve for her, her family and for the story we could have gotten in Ep 9.

That moment between Leia and Kylo - sad face.

Rey, Kylo/Ben and Reylo - very happy they went in this direction. I can understand certain people’s/groups misgivings about this when projecting a RL dynamic on it, however the large section of us that enjoy this dynamic, I believe, do so on an archetypal level - which is primarily what Star Wars is about. The fairy tale, the myth - the Light and Darkness battling it out to transcend the opposites in the end. I loved their connection (even though the cuts were quite modern), I always adore it when the hero/heroine and villain start off hating each other, are opposed to each other and then gradually find parallels and similarities, and since ESB, Star Wars has always been fantastic in finding that Yin Yang and Jungian Shadow concept. The way they show the dangers of the path - that Rey could make the same mistakes as Ben and therefore why she wants to save him, just as Luke did with Anakin. It’s so human. The acting was fantastic, the moments soft and then intense - I loved the ‘Force skypes’ and the Throne Room scene. Indeed that application of the Force was just an extension of Luke and Vader in ESB and in a deleted scene in Jedi too. Also as sad and heartbreaking as it was I’m so glad Rey did reject him and didn’t give into his bullshit. I can sympathise with him but she didn’t compromise herself and that is so important. Like in the film Labyrinth at the end, Rey chooses her own sovereignty and morality despite temptation and it was the right thing to do. Also I feel (without getting too RL and social justice on this) women are often seen as the always loving, forgiving redeemers, the healers, the saviours and the nurturers - a powerful archetype that can sometimes be in play but also can be terribly damaging when constantly applied. No person can forever hold the weight of an archetype and in some cases shouldn’t, no matter how sad it is. Rey did her best but Ben ultimately needs to save himself, to make that choice as Vader did and that can be a hard pill to swallow especially when we see he hasn’t got the critical mass (yet) within himself to do it. 

Rey - in two minds given how TLJ treated plot points from TFA - but I continue to love her spirit and vulnerability as well as her moments of humour. 

The Throne Room confrontation was fricking epic! I loved it and I loved seeing the Battle Couple/Back to Back Badasses/Dark and Light take on the guards.

Rose - not so keen on the plotline but the character was adorable and we need more like her. It was also special for me because for years when I was training to be an actress in London, the friend who let me live with her for minimal rent had a Far East background and looked like Rose and always struggled to get decent parts despite her talent and tenacity. Seeing the hope and inspiration Rose gave to her in her career recently was amazing. 

The planets!!! Ahch-To and Crait just blew me away - oceans and islands - check, crystals, deserts and rock formations - check. Glorious!

Those crystal foxes!

I will always be a Reylo fan but Finn and Rey still have a special place in my heart and that hug at the end was gorgeous. If they get together at the end it’s okay with me as long as I can have some Reylo resolution too. 

Rey and Poe finally meeting. Okay I’m Reylo, I like Finn and Rey…but I always liked the idea of Rey and Poe too - yes I can have my cake and eat it thank you. 

The Supremacy - I may consider joining the Dark Side if I can have that ship!

The Codebreaker - there’s always a place in Star Wars for crafty grey characters and I liked DJ, not 100% keen on where they went with it but I liked him.

Holdo’s sacrifice - amazing  - those shots and that silence - just epic.

The initial idea of Luke as a hermit and the Balance which they sort of went with and then…hmm we’ll talk about that next!

Things I didn’t like or thought could have been handled in another way - 

This is interesting and has taught me a lot about how we project ourselves onto stories and what we do or do not get or expect to get out of a story. As we know this film has caused huge dissension and rather than throw crap at people - I respect they have their opinions - I want to analyst mine and other’s responses and find out why. I’ll note my personal reactions and then the issues that may have contributed to such a division.

Luke’s arc - I can see the de-constructivist allure of having Luke fail and why some people have taken heart from that message but as Mark Hamill has said it just isn’t Luke to me. As for him trying, even in a moment, to kill his nephew and best friend’s son after he was willing to sacrifice himself and everything else for his ideals to show his father - Darth freaking Vader -  a better way, also doesn’t ring true. Then to abandon the Republic/Rebellion for the First Order to take over - nah…If they want me to buy it, they need to give me more than what we got.

Admiral Holdo - ugh. I see what they were trying to do but if you have to withhold plans and make a character hold the Idiot Ball for you to do a plot twist it just doesn’t work. Also the whole feminist message was patronising and I say this as a woman and lifelong feminist. Treating men like idiots isn’t going to make them respect you. Also as others have pointed out, Leia was already a trope-breaking example of this done in a much better way in ANH. People were making the point that Holdo was soft and feminine and that’s why Poe and the menfolk in RL didn’t like her or feel she could have been in the military. I’m all for surprising people and frankly she can wear what she wants even though it was incredibly impractical but as an actress I noticed in her physicality she does not convince as someone of any gender who has been in a military force let alone in command. It does something to the way you stand and behave that she didn’t have and putting examples like her in only undermines the progressive course to me. 

Godspeed? God fricking speed?! We are in a Galaxy far far away! It’s the Force you idiot! Also ugh her and Leia just sounded like they were at a socialites party in the US not Star Wars when they say goodbye. I’m so up for female bonds and unexpected characters and roles but it was handled badly in my opinion - an example of shock value, not well thought out world-building. 

Snoke - WTF? Don’t build him up just to kill him off early! He is the reason all the shit in the Galaxy has happened - the return of the Dark Side, the corruption of Ben Solo, Luke’s Hobo arc - how does he link to the OT or even the Prequels (it’s a saga remember - a family saga, themes etc). To kill him now, without those answers, undermines the whole plot and undermines Kylo Ben as a result. Snoke was the reason he did all those heinous things, Leia says in the book he has been essentially grooming her son since he was in the womb (gross!). The OT draws out the Emperor until ROTJ and the Prequels spend 3 movies giving us insights on his dynamic with Anakin that primes us to understand (despite poor execution at times IMO) Anakin’s fall to the Dark side. We have none of this for Kylo bar a few hints. This lends weight to the accusation he is a pathetic, whiney (angry, privileged, white) boy who turned to the Dark Side cos Mummy and Daddy (our OT heroes) didn’t love him enough. Then we are given a vague flashback that Luke Skywalker of all people wanted to kill him for an instant and yeah…it doesn’t do anyone - Kylo, Snoke, Leia, Han or Luke - a service. Plus the ridiculousness of Kylo and Hux at the end undermines the finale and the hopes for Episode 9. I admit Snoke freaked me the f out - the undertones of the child molester/evil guru were strong and might have been a bit too much for kids but hell a good writer could have found a way to develop it properly without being too full on. 

Canto Bight - Finn and Rose. It was…okay…but again I could see the message loud and clear and there’s a difference between an archetypal mythic theme and hitting someone on the head with identity politics. Also I loved Finn and Poe’s dynamic and Finn and Rey’s dynamic in TFA - I wanted more of that. The plot arc just didn’t interest me or feel woven into the main plot as much as I wanted it to. And that sucks because Finn and Rose were cool and it was groundbreaking for Star Wars to include them in their own arc. Due to the lacklustre scenario I felt Finn wasn’t utilised enough. I felt he was slightly short changed by TFA and TLJ didn’t really shift that for me.

The Crait Plan - why not tell people the plan? To have it suddenly appear like a Deus Ex machina was shoddy esp when the First Order find out immediately anyway.

Leia’s Superman impression. It was a shocker and beautifully filmed. Extra poignant when remembering Carrie’s loss but…it’s not Star Wars! There’s a difference in developing the world-building and the magic system (I know this as a writer) and crapping all over it to introduce something ‘cool’. I have wanted Leia to use the Force since ROTJ. I would have totally been down with her using it here (like Nynaeve in The Wheel of Time) when she finally surrenders to this mystical power she doesn’t understand (and likely associates in her heart with Vader) in the face of her political and military might being crushed. It had the potential to be such a beautiful moment. She could have been in a pod or something and then dragged the exploding pieces back together - that would have been in line with previous Force users - Yoda, Dooku, Vader. But to be exploded into space where the vacuum alone could kill you, lack of air, cold etc etc and then fly like Superman just felt so wrong. Yes you need to suspend your disbelief to watch SF/F but the created world needs internal consistency (look up Tolkien’s On Fairy Tales or Mark Wolfe - Building Imaginary Worlds: The Theory and History of Subcreation or the Laws of Sanderson for confirmation on this.)

Luke’s Force Projection and Death - it was beautiful and shocking (again) but (again) didn’t ring true with Star Wars for me even with the call-backs to the Binary Sunset and Obi-Wan’s cloak. Those just made me sadder. If they wanted to make it more Star Wars, more full circle, then why doesn’t he do a proper Obi Wan - face Kylo and become one with the Force in their duel? Also I just felt there was so much more for him to do, so much more to be shown and frankly as much as I love the Sequel characters, I and most of us are here because of the OT characters. This is and always was Luke’s story. We care about Anakin initially because of his connection to Luke even if he wasn’t really in the Prequels, so to have him go out that way and have so little relevance ultimately to the story of the Sequels just felt wrong. I’m not ready for this to be fully Rey’s story yet as much as I like her and what she brings to it. 

There was no real training arc - Luke didn’t even finish his third lesson to Rey. I would have loved to have seen Luke and Rey training and duelling. This also highlighting the unfortunately implication that Rey is a little bit of a Mary Sue and I hate that. The Force just made her awesome - again not consistent with Star Wars. Anakin and Luke, even after training, get their asses handed to them by Dark sider users. Yes Kylo had handicaps and Snoke does well to highlight them in TLJ but it would have been much better to either have had her train under Luke before and had her memory wiped or be trained now to account for her aptitude. It undermines her positive points as a character and it is irritating now to look back at TFA and see her so good at everything just..because…

A main point many people have pointed out - TLJ doesn’t respect the plot points and setups of TFA. This is worse than not respecting the previous trilogies because it’s bad storytelling and each episode is supposed to reinforce the arc of the others. Sure Lucas made similar mistakes but Abrams, Johnson and Disney had years of reflection and fan reaction to draw upon to make sure that didn’t happen and mostly in the OT Lucas made it work to a point they do make senseas whole. Why aren’t Disney and co making these stories to fit each other? They are a trilogy - a beginning, middle and end, not an opportunity for each director to ‘make their mark’ on Star Wars or ‘bring something different’. That’s like hiring a new director for each LOTR film! Again people can cite upending expectations but this was throwing out substance for the sake of shock value and that never works. The Vader plot-twist worked because it deepened the story, the plot-twists that Snoke and Rey’s force sensitivity and parentage don’t matter cheapened it. For the record I liked her parents being nobodies but we don’t get to see her explore that and JJ drops numerous Chekhov’s Guns about Rey’s background in TFA - Han, Leia and Kylo’s reactions to her, Maz’s talk, her visions, Luke’s reaction - that all now looks stupid. Kylo lets an officer go after his tantrum then force grabs him as soon as he mentions a girl. This and his latter interactions with Rey, esp in the novel, make him look like a desperate virgin that has never been exposed to a human female before. 

Phasma - where art thou?

I could go on but those are the main points.

Now to the deeper issues -

Most of us loved the Original Trilogy and while we want to repeat the magic  - to have the same but different - that story was essential told. It has a poignant, satisfying ending - Luke redeems Vader, the Empire is defeated, the Jedi are reborn, Leia and Han get together. It reached a natural conclusion and that conclusion gave it its power. That is a lesson that many of us and especially the entertainment industry don’t want to learn, hence why they milk franchises and stories until they mean nothing. Just as death gives life meaning so does the ending to a good story. However I have always been intrigued by a Sequel trilogy because it was something Lucas toyed with for a long time. I heard rumours of Leia and Han’s children in a forest scene for years and that was so magical! What happened next?! Lucas was notorious for tinkering with his creations and then saying he planned it that way all along (read Star Wars - A Secret History for confirmation and also an amazing insight into the creative development.) As an aside I think that part of the creative process is that it evolves and it interests me how many directions and stories could be told branching from A New Hope, ESB, Jedi and then even TFA. The stories that different groups wanted to be told and the story we got. However something that lent more weight to the Sequel idea was also Lucas’s inspiration of Flash Gordon, Buck Rodgers and those old sci-fi serials that suggested the story could have gone on for episodes before you arrived in the cinema and continued long after, so I was interested to see if they could make it happen. Perhaps it would have been better done years earlier so the original leads could have had a more active role or set in the future so their legacy would have held longer but this is a family saga so…

Despite their love for Star Wars and its superficial appeal I’m not sure JJ Abrams, Rian Johnson and Disney understand the core of Star Wars and the archetypal themes underpinning it. This is the absolute core of the issues with Sequels (the Prequels) for me - I think it could have worked despite everything else but you need to understand the archetypal motif which is textbook Star Wars. A fantastic book that illustrates this is Star Wars - The Magic of Myth. I think they got bits of it but they didn’t really understand the whole and had other agendas in play that meant the worthwhile messages in Leia/Poe/Holdo, Finn/Rose and Luke/Rey’s storylines were lost, dissonant or just sledge-hammered in without respecting the characters, plot or themes. I was so looking forward to seeing a development in the mythos of the Light/Dark sides of the Force and the Balance - how acknowledging anger, abandonment and desire for power and control aka the Shadow, can help you understand yourself and the human experience but not(like Kylo did) by giving into it. This understanding grants you Balance and Transcendence - a true expression of the Jungian Individuation process and the Taoism way that Star Wars was inspired by. This could have been accomplished even with Luke going off to be a hermit which is counter to his character as Mark Hamill stressed. If you want a new story you need to set up conflict and this would have been a great conflict for a more mature Luke to have - that the Dark Side will always return in some way, so how does one counter it? When we found out in TFA he had gone looking for the first Jedi Temple, then we got the 1st trailer and the hints about the Balance of Light and Dark, I was excited. Luke hadn’t abandoned his sister and friends and the Galaxy! He had a painful setback but was still searching for something more. When they dismissed that in the movie and had him be this despondent bum who had vanished just to find some hole to die in, I was so disappointed. Yeah you could have it (as they did) as part of his character arc, to learn failure, to repeat the cycles/mistakes of his masters and be reminded of his younger self in Rey, but as others have pointed out Yoda and Obi Wan went into exile because they needed to and Luke transcended them at the end of Jedi anyway. So it needs a deeper reason for me than what we got.

The Backlash/Conflict and the questions it raises.

It seems broadly to come into two camps, but there are also many people in the middle across a number of different issues. The main camps boil down to either loving the OT - its themes, characters and relationships within the Skywalker Saga and feeling the Sequels haven’t respected that, and the other is enjoying the new direction of the Sequels and feeling Star Wars is now more modern, more progressive, more inclusive, either as a worthy development of the OT or without caring about previous instalments.

This, as I said at the start, comes down to stories - our stories, internally and in the outside world, and the archetypal stories we cling to across generations. Star Wars was always going to matter because it is one of a kind - a modern myth that called to us on this archetypal level as well as being so pervasive in the physical world through advertising, merchandise and different media that it has literally become a religion to some people and inspired many more.

Given that, the stories I’m hearing from the media and the progressive side is that the Last Jedi is fantastic because it’s breaking boundaries, it’s passing the torch, it’s giving us feminism, inclusivity and life lesson moments that are much needed in the current climate. And in a way stories do need to change and adapt to stay meaningful or, as we see, people change them to fit - create fanfiction, art, create their own worlds, write meta taking the pieces that make sense to them. Many people feel more included in the Star Wars saga and as such a powerful phenomenon I’m glad about that.

However to others, Star Wars already deeply meant something to them and some feel the Sequels, in their urge to move things along or having done so brashly, haven’t respected that legacy. Although there are undoubtedly racist, prejudiced idiots out there using Star Wars as part of their ideology, this goes against everything Star Wars and Lucas was trying to convey. So personally I think a lot of the deeper backlash is because of the Sequels ignoring the archetypal hero journey and themes at the heart of Star Wars - a journey first brought to us by Luke and his companions. Star Wars is not the type of story that lends itself to deconstruction, shock value twists and hopelessness - it’s a hopeful fairy story, that while filled with peril and battles with evil, nevertheless gives us the strength to face the dark symbolically and find the best in ourselves. While it has had its storytelling and world-building issues (especially with the Prequels hence the backlash with them at the time) it does have its own mythos and internal consistency, something I feel the Sequels have ignored time and again,and even undermining the setups in TFA. To call people ‘losers’ stuck on simple nostalgia or ‘man babies’ (as a friend of mine did) for having these objections is unfair. Archetypal stories/myths come from the Collective Unconscious and that moves very slowly in relation to society which is why we read stories from thousands of years ago and they still resonate. That doesn’t mean you have to copy the Hero’s Journey from the OT point for point - there are a galaxy of myths out there and our own minds for exploring how the legacy of the OT can be respected and yet developed, as well as including more women and POC as it needed to.

I will still watch Episode 9 and take the things I liked from it, TFA and TLJ, but to me the OT will always be the true Star Wars. However nothing is in vain and honestly I think this debate can be used by anyone to learn from the power of stories - what works and what doesn’t for them and go on to create their own original narratives as Lucas did all those years ago…I’m also really interested in getting the perspectives of kids seeing the Sequels vs the Prequels and OT as these will be ‘their’ Star Wars and the things we see and love as children always have special significance as they are the first to charge our awakening imaginations.

[sunlitroom]

Gotham s4e06 -  Hog Day Afternoon

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham.

Harvey promises Jim they'll bust Oswald some day.  Oswald needs to know Sofia isn't on a fools' errand.  Oswald apparently still needs the Falcone name. Jim wants to know what Sofia's plan is.  Ed used to be smart.  Butch is Solomon Grundy.  Butch and Ed are besties now.  Ed decides that since he still has some brains, and Butch has the muscles, they should make lots of money.  Lee is now doctor in an underground fightclub.

As always, long post will be long - reaaally long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot may appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism. Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

In Cherry’s club, we see, blurrily, a fight taking place.  Cherry raises the victor's hand, while Lee resets the loser’s nose.  Well – that’s not how you would do it, but, anway.  

Ed watches her wide eyed and, grinning, follows her to the bar, with an oily,

Dr Lee Thompkins.  What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

He follows it up with a sleazy laugh.  That's a bad Ed laugh right there, but then – bad Ed did seem to be in charge of the libido before, and Lee has always rung Ed's bell, ever since he commented dreamily to Harvey and Jim that she smelled nice.

(An aside – hang on, last episode – Lee was coming out to patch Butch up.  Did Ed somehow not see her then?)

Lee curls her lip, and tells him she had heard a rumour that he was frozen.  Ed notices the disdain dripping from her, and smilingly says that she surely can’t still be mad at him.

Lee asks why she would be mad at him, and mentions him killing Kristen, and framing Jim for murder so that he was inside when she lost their child.

(An aside.  This is true, and Ed is an ass, but there were actual murders that Jim could have been in jail for at the point.  Ogden Barker.  Theo.)

Ed’s smile dims.  Lee pastes on an extra sarcastic one, and says that hey – she’s over that,

Let's be friends

Ed smiles

I’m sensing sarcasm

 Lee makes to leave. Ed tries to stop her by putting his hand on her arm, and Lee aims a punch.  She’s only prevented from landing it by Butch, who grabs her arm.  Lee turns, spots him, and is wide-eyed.

Butch!  Holy hell, Butch Gilzean!

(An aside – Right, ok – now I’m baffled.  Did Lee just not treat Butch in the previous episode for some reason?  Doesn’t seem legit – I think Cherry would want a new fighter checked over – and she specifically wanted that burn checked.  So…..?????)

Lee is aghast, and asks Ed what he’s done to him.  Ed gets rid of Butch by telling him to go lean against the wall.  Ed tells her doesn't know what happened, but now Butch is super strong, has amnesia, and seems to love him.

While he still has Lee’s attention, he hastily adds that he too is hoping to get back to who he was – and that the whole being frozen thing left his head scrambled.  He wants Lee’s help.  She snorts incredulously and tells him he really must be dumb.  Ed persists.  He tells her that she must be here for some reason, even though he can’t figure out what it is, and if she helps him then he’ll help her.

Leslie fixes him with a dismissive stare, and tells him that she will never help him.  She leaves, and Ed is left thoughtful.

Sofia’s mansion.

Oswald is protesting something, telling her that he was

Raised to be a gentleman

(An aside.  Meh.  Gertrud certainly seems to have raised Oswald with some old-fashioned manners – but whenever we heard her talk about women, they were hussies and harlots – out to get Oswald.  Oswald is accused of ‘tomcatting’ around when he gets home.  None of that seems particularly in step with being raised a gentleman, but whatever)

Sofia cuts in that he’s also practical.  They been seen out at dinner together. They’ve had three dates.  No-one is watching them now.  She smiles. Oswald blinks awkwardly.  Her smile widens.

I’d just like to know where I stand

This seemed garbled to me. Is she saying he should be seen leaving her mansion the next morning to imply that they’re genuinely having a relationship?  Is she honestly asking him if this is a relationship?

Oswald's wide-eyed. He’s disbelieving, but there’s something hopeful flickering there.  He tells her it isn’t easy for him to have someone he can trust.  A real friend.

Sofia smiles, and we can see, suddenly, that Jim is watching.  This is objectionable on a number of levels but – principally – I hope Jim is choked with guilt, because this – this – is low.  He knows everything that Oswald has gone through.

Sofia takes Oswald’s hand and smiles – telling him he can trust her.  Oswald smiles back  She says they’ll have lunch tomorrow

Just us

Oswald gives a tremulous little until then and leaves.  It’s shot in such a way to make sure that we see Oswald’s stick, and his limp, making sure of where our sympathies are.

Sofia watches him leave, and then looks down, walking to the fireplace.  As in previous episodes – she can be hard to read because her facial expression doesn’t immediately drop when she’s alone.  I previously thought that she might be emotionally involved – but given the level of manipulation we’ll see from her later, I think she just stays in character from whatever game she’s been playing.

Jim walks further into the room, and asks her if she had a nice dinner.  She turns, surprised, and smiles – asking him how long he’d been there.

(An aside - Jim: have you just been lurking around without permission?  That’s pretty creepy and invasive.  Aside from that – does this point to a growing mistrust whereby Jim feels a need to keep tabs on Sofia?)

Jim makes his disapproving face and says he’s been here long enough.  He wants to know what she’s planning, since all she’s done is make Oswald stronger.

(An aside – gee, Jim. It’s almost like this was a terminally fucking stupid idea.  You have no leverage over Sofia at all, which means – bluntly – she can do anything she wants.)

Sofia looks amused, and asks what he plans to do if she refuses to reveal her end game.  He tells her he’ll put her on the train home.  Jim seems to have forgotten he’s dealing with someone who told him flat-out that she’s a gangster, and who had been running Falcone’s business down south for the last ten years.  And if he had forgotten that, and just sees her as Falcone’s misbehaving, spoiled daughter – juvenile enough to be packed on to a train and sent home – then banging her is pretty gross.

They face off.  Jim is teeny tiny, which also emphasises how powerless he is here.

Sofia tells him that in a matter of days, she’ll have Oswald in the palm of her hand.  If she fails, he can do whatever he wants.  She holds out a drink, which he accepts, but he looks dubious.

(Another aside – presumably, we’re also to assume that Jim will hang around and they’ll have sex, which – given the overall situation – just seems pretty sordid)

(Another another aside. How much time has passed since the last episode?  How much time was there between Oswald and Sofia’s dates? Has Jim interacted with her at all between times?  Has it been long enough to perhaps explain his growing suspicion?  Long enough to explain the attachment Oswald seems to have developed?  Couple all this with the earlier confusion about Lee apparently just meeting Butch, despite being told to treat him last episode – and you have a bit of a mess)

An alley in the rain, where two cops are exchanging cash.  One drives off.  The other hears a noise, and goes to investigate.  Entering a nearby building, he sees a cute little cat.  Stopping to pet it, he doesn’t see the creepy guy in the pig mask behind him until it’s too late.  Hearing oink oink, he turns and gets a cleaver to the skull for his troubles.

 Same location in the daytime, where Jim and Harvey have found the corpse.  Jim asks Harvey who it is.  Harvey says they don’t know yet, and shows Jim that the corpse is wearing a pig mask.  Jim is shocked.

They take the mask off and reveal someone Harvey knows as Dave Mesker -  a grade A bastard.  Harvey says he’s the candy man, delivering the pay-offs from Oswald.  Jim decides to go see Oswald to figure out what’s going on.  Harvey pleads with him not to stir the pot.

 The Iceberg Club.  A waitress finishes laying a table for two, and tells Oswald to enjoy his lunch.  Oswald inspects the glasses.  Jim strolls in and tells Oswald he needs to talk to him.  Oswald seems quite perky, and tells him that if it takes less than three minutes, then he’s all ears.

Jim relates the story of the murder, and says that the cop was one of his.  Oswald tells him that a general doesn't need to know every foot soldier.  Jim tells him that someone is sending him a message.  The cop might have been dirty, but he was still a cop, and the killer is making a point.

Oswald is unruffled. He tells Jim if someone had a problem with him, he’d already know about it and have dealt with it.  Jim says he guesses that Oswald is always one step ahead, obviously thinking to himself how that isn’t the case right now.

(An aside – Fuck you, Jim. I’m going to enjoy the moment you discover that you’ve been played for a fool.  If I squint and try very hard to think the best – I can pretend to myself that this comment maybe, maybe had an indulgent familiarity/fondness to it, but it feels like a reach (given the context), and I will need to see qualms of conscience pretty fucking soon)

Oswald smiles, and comments airily that that’s why he’s alive.  He gives Jim a little wink – a nod to the fact that his first escape from likely death came from thinking ahead and betting on Jim’s good nature.

He prods Jim’s chest, and says that he would like to help, though.  Calling Mr Penn to assist Jim in doing his job – he’s able to tell Jim that someone applied for a burglary license to rob a butcher.

Jim thanks him for the lead, the words obviously sticking in his throat, and tells him to enjoy his lunch. Oswald tells him not to thank him, but to thank the licensing system he hates so much.  Jim grimaces.  Oswald adds that he should be sure to let him know if he needs to get more involved – but, until then, he’ll be rooting for him.

(An aside – this is something else that makes Jim’s scheme so unpalatable.  Oswald’s licensing system is – of course – corrupt, and impractical, and flat-out wrong.  However, while his reasoning might be twisted, and while there is a lot of self-interest involved – part of Oswald genuinely believes that it is beneficial for the city.  It’s why he was so moved by Bruce’s approval.  

In contrast, Sofia thinks that Gotham should be hers because it’s her birth right.  She’s entitled to it.  That’s it.  

Just to ramble on – it adds a class dynamic to their interactions, too.  On top of her sense of entitlement, we see that Sofia has an automatic entrée to much of Gotham’s society.  She knows how to act, how to behave – is effortlessly smooth, very wealthy. Oswald – in contrast – has clawed his way up.  We saw Gertrud’s faded apartment with the rat traps.  He has the van Dahl name behind him in a sense, but it’s tainted because of the context – the illegitimate son of the cook.  He’s frequently socially and physically awkward, raising eyebrows and attracting sneers.  It all adds to the power dynamic at play)

 In a creepy warehouse somewhere, of which Gotham has many, we hear opera.  The creepy pig mask guy is doing unsavoury things to some skinned pig heads, putting makeup on one of them.  Whatever.  I immediately hate this guy – so summaries of him may be irrationally salty.

 Jim and Harvey interrogate a suspect.  My wrist is sore – so long story short – they find out that he was hired by a man he refers to as ‘Professor’ because he talked all fancy, and stole four pig carcasses. Jim and Harvey look alarmed, because this likely means three more murders.  Jim says they need to find out who Oswald’s other bagmen are.

 Oswald sits alone while sad 1950s music plays.  Victor arrives, and says that Sofia isn’t coming – she’s cancelled their lunch date. Oswald over-protests that it’s not a date.  Oswald asks if she said why – but Victor stopped paying attention and just tuned out of the call at that point.  He sits down opposite Oswald and starts to eat – commenting that it’ll all just go to waste.

Oswald stares furiously at him, and says he wants her followed.  Victor nods, asking if he thinks she’s two-timing him.  Oswald yells that they are not dating – it’s just that this lunch was her idea.

Victor just watches him, amused.  Oswald tells him to do it now.

(An aside.  I think lunch with Victor was the better deal, but hey.)

 At Cherry’s club – a treat is being announced – a new fighter, Butch.  Lee watches from the sidelines, but looks unhappy.  The other patrons cheer.  Who goes to something like this, anyway?

The fight begins, and the other fighter beats Butch with a hammer.  It’s quite horrid, actually, because Butch doesn’t fight back – just allows himself to be beaten, underlining his vulnerability, despite his size and strength

At the sidelines, an irate Ed tells Butch to fight now.  Getting up, Butch takes the other guy out with one punch, and then wallops him with the hammer.  Lee winces. The crowd chants Butch’s new name. Ed cheers, and hugs him.  Cherry grins that she's got a new cash cow, and tells Lee to clean up.

 Elsewhere Harvey is talking to cops, trying to get names amicably. Jim is using his usual method of growling and grabbing.  No-one will talk to them, because they won’t snitch on another cop, and because they suspect it’s a trap to catch corrupted cops.

Eventually, Harvey’s method not working, they try Jim’s technique – punching the guy and putting him in the trunk of a car.  Jim and Harvey talk loudly about how hot it is, and how they’re off to get lunch, and the guy breaks and gives them a name, and tells them he’s at court all day.

 Outside the courthouse. Harvey and Jim have another name: Jenny Butler.  Harvey comments that it’s bizarre that Jim is running around saving cops on Oswald’s payroll. Jim sanctimoniously comments that they should be prosecuted, not butchered.  I say sanctimoniously, because his posturing here reeks – given that his stunt with going to Falcone for help has so far resulted in the murders of three of Falcone’s former associates.  Did they not deserve prosecution over murder too?

They hear a scream for police.  Heading towards it, we see two bodies on a bench, both wearing pig masks. Everything goes weird, and we get distorted sound and vision like someone is hallucinating – to heighten the horror of the scene, I suppose.

Harvey and Jim talk. No-one saw anything apparently. These cops must have been abducted which would have taken work.  The message is important to the killer.  Jim comments that it’s no wonder the cops nearby all look on edge – and fails to take in the strain on Harvey’s face.  Harvey says he’ll work on the fourth name, and leaves.

Cutting this bit short – through actually using his brain and being observant, Jim gets a lead from a saxophone player busking nearby.  A white plumber’s van was parked all morning.

 Lee is stapling Butch’s wounds.  She asks him what happened to him, sounding both curious and concerned.  She comments that his hand has grown back, he has swamp water instead of blood, and no apparent heartbeat.  He seems to be doing OK though.

She tries to explain to Butch that Ed is not his friend, that he’s only using him.  Butch says that Ed is his best friend.  Lee persists.  She says Ed just wants to make money and make his brain better and then will discard him or kill him if possible.  She grabs his chin, desperate to get her message across.

Do you understand?

Butch just repeats his assertion that Ed is his friend, and a smirking Ed wanders up to them

That's right - best buddies

He waves a wad of cash around.  Butch is the new attraction – which means they’ll be sticking around.  Ed slyly remarks that if she fixed him, then they’d be gone.  He’d pay her. She refuses again – and says she’ll only patch up Butch as long as she has to.  Cherry enters the room.  Lee tells her she’s stepping out.  Cherry remarks that this is fine, but to remember they have a deal.  We exit on Butch’s face – looking thoughtful

 Lee is walks down some stairs (is this directly from the door in the ‘treatment room’?) into a Dickensian-looking scene.  She aims for a cheerful tone.

Hi everyone.  Sorry to keep you waiting.  I’ll be right with you

Lee is running some sort of free clinic.  As she enters the room at the bottom of the stairs, we see Ed lurking at the top, listening to her.  He creeps down and eavesdrops on her conversation in the treatment room – lifting a little girl up onto the examination table.  He looks serious for a moment, then smiles unpleasantly.

 Victor is taking pictures of Sofia from a car.  She’s meeting with some grey haired guy.  Victor says aloud,

Sofia Falcone.  What are you doing?

(An aside.  Victor is hot all the time)

 GCPD – Harvey’s office. The press have wind of the murders, so they need to move fast.  Jim wants to take their list of potential names to Oswald – but Harvey’s apparently already narrowed it down to the likely next victim.  Jim is ready to head off – but Harvey stops him, and asks whether this doesn’t seem weird.  The killer would have had to have had access to a lot of information about the cops’ schedules to pull of the abductions. It’s maybe an inside job and – Harvey argues – they should be tight-lipped outside the office about what they say and who they talk to.

Harper knocks the door and delivers another lead.  Harvey tells her not to say a word to anyone else about it.

(An aside – is Harper someone’s mole?  Maybe Sofia’s?  Falcone’s – at a stretch?  They seemed to arrive at just about the same time.  Her timing in this scene seemed pretty deliberate, just as Harvey talked about an inside job.)

 We see what must be the abducted officer in the back of a van, bound and gagged.  Pyg approaches.  The man is terrified, breathing fast.  Pyg does his stupid oink oink again, which is pretty redundant when you’re wearing a pig mask.

 Back at fight club. Lee and Ed are watching, unimpressed, as a large man from an 80s fantasy movie attempts to beat Butch.  He wraps a chain around Butch’s throat – but Butch only pulls him in, grabs the guy’s makeshift mace, and beats the bejesus out of him

Cherry hold up his hand and announces the new champion. Ed laughs, and Butch looks round as the crowd chants his name.

 Oswald is at his desk, angrily eating chicken from a bucket.  

(An aside – I’ve never understood the big fuss over KFC)

Victor arrives, he tells Oswald that Sofia broke their date to see the mayor.  They had lunch at Angelo’s, then Sofia went to the Heritage Hotel, which has apparently been vacant for years.

(An aside – there’s red wine on the desk.  Red wine and chicken?  I thought that was a no-no?  Is this old hat?)

Mr Penn cuts into say that the hotel recently sold for over the asking price and he assumes the buyer was Sofia.  Victor adds that she met with the zoning commissioner there.  She has permission for new walls and a gate.

Oswald laughs, eyes bulging with rage.  She’s been pretending to be his friend while allying with politicians and building a fortress. She’s planning a war.

(Another aside.  See, now.  Given that Oswald’s suspicion is still running so close to the surface, his starry-eyed-ness doesn’t ring true to me.  I think it’s supposed to ring true– but it doesn’t work for me in terms of writing).

Victor looks happy to see Oswald’s rage - knowing it means work.  Oswald tells Victor to bring her in for a chat.  Victor clarifies whether they’re having a chat, or a chat chat – where they put Sofia in the trunk.  Oswald smiles, and tells Victor to bring a shovel.  Victor smiles and leaves, and Mr Penn looks like he’s wondering how he wound up here.

 At fight club, Ed is waving his money about in front of Lee, and wondering about renting an apartment. Lee says he’d be better finding himself a neurologist.  Ed is insistent that it must be Lee, who is aware of his previous intellect

You know me and what I'm capable of

Lee says that’s why the answer is no.  Ed tells her he knows about the clinic, and guesses that she gets to keep it in return for being club medic.  Lee shrugs. Ed points out that this means she’s vulnerable – but can’t find the words ‘threat’ or ‘blackmail’.  Lee asks what his brilliant scheme is then.  

Ed can only manage a feeble threat that if she doesn’t help him he’ll do something to the clinic. Lee snorts in laughter at this.

Oh my God- you really aren’t smart.

 Under a bridge at night, Jim and Harvey prowl about with torches, searching for their missing cop. In the warehouse, they find him. He’s not a corpse yet, though – still moving.  They reassure him as he makes muffled sounds.  

Jim removes the mask – but we can see a thread attached to it – which goes down his throat – and an odd wound in his gut.  As Jim pulls, the thread snaps.  Jim’s eyes widen, and his army training kicks in.  Grenade!  The cop yells at them to run with his last breath, but the grenade goes off, and they’re knocked to the ground as they run.

 Jim wakes taped to a chair. In a scene I’m not going to describe in great detail because it irritated me, Pyg prances about sounding like a cross between Frasier Crane, Charles Winchester, and Stewie Griffin.

He tells Jim that Harvey is a dirty pig who’s holding Jim back.  Harvey has – over the years – held Jim back from running into a variety of dumb and deadly situations, and generally had his back, worth remembering at this point.

Whatever, he’s Jim’s biggest fan, they both hate corruption (he obviously doesn’t know about Ogden Barker), they both want to cut out the cancer, he has flair.

Jim lacks enough self-awareness to sincerely tell him that he’s delusional, and just has his own agenda – neatly forgetting Carmine’s astute observation about Jim smarting over a loss of power.  Pyg claims to have suffered profound loss at the hands of the greedy pigs in power.  Jim tries to wheedle, says he’ll make it right – but Harvey yells from another room and Pyg runs off, Jim yelling after him that backup is coming.  As he twists in his chair, he sees a ledge, and edges the chair towards it.

 Pyg tells Harvey, strung up in a noose, that he deserves what’s coming. There’s a crash, and they turn to see Jim is free.

(An aside – I think he’d more likely have damaged his spine and broken some bones – but ok)

Pyg chortles that he hates to cut and run as he slits Harvey’s throat and scampers off.  Jim cuts Harvey down from the noose and tries to stop the bleeding from his throat, telling him desperately to hold on, as we hear sirens approach.

 Back at Lee’s free clinic, a woman with a cough is telling Lee she can’t afford to miss work.  Lee reassures her that she’ll give her antibiotics – but the cupboard, to her frustration, is bare.  We hear crying from outside, and get an impression of the enormity of her task.

 Sofia is looking in a compact, checking her makeup.  Oswald approaches.  She seems surprised but pleased – but can’t fail to notice that he’s brimming with anger, pointing again to her game-playing. Oswald tells her he thought he’d surprise her.  She says she has to go elsewhere, and says that Oswald sounds strange.  She claims that she wanted it to be a surprise. Oswald tells her the cat is out of the bag, and he know about her plan to attack him while pretending to be his friend.  He should have known - she has her father’s blood in her veins.  She insists she’s his friend, but he only tightly says he can’t wait to see her surprise.

 At Cherry’s, Ed is drinking something green.  Lee tells him that won’t help his brain – but adds that she’s willing to go along with his scheme, she needs cash.

Ed grins, and asks what changed her mind – was it his charisma?

Lee tells him that he asked why she was here.  She never wanted to be here – or to come back to Gotham at all.  But she couldn’t stay away.  The Tetch virus hit the Narrows hard, and it was her fault – because she prevented Jim’s efforts to stop the virus.  She was infected – but nonetheless.  She doesn’t have a choice but to be here, doing this.

(An aside – she was infected, but she did knowingly infect herself, though – but, hey, this is the most morality we’ve seen from anyone in weeks, and Lee’s been pretty likeable this week - so OK.)

Ed absorbs this.  Lee also comments that if he’d wanted to blackmail her he should have used Butch’s popularity to force Cherry’s hand.  Ed grimaces, and she tells him to come by the clinic tomorrow.  Butch wanders over.

Hi pretty lady

Lee gives him a little wave as she leaves

Ed crows that he’s going to be smart again, and almost spills his drink when a pleased Butch claps him on the shoulder.

 Victor opens the car door for Oswald and Sofia.  She tells him that she wants him to know she forgives him.  She has apparently opened an orphanage.  It’s essentially all a ploy to defuse Oswald’s suspicions by drawing them out with a decoy – making him contrite and less likely to believe anything suspicious about her in future.

Oswald stammers, embarrassed.  She tells him, in saccharine tones, that she understands the pressure he faces, and that his survival depends on being constantly aware of potential threats.  She doesn’t want him to bear that burden and end up like her father.

Oswald asks her to forgive him.  She asks how she can possibly do that, since she forgave him already.  She does tell him she owes him lunch, though, and asks if he likes macaroni cheese.  He smiles shakily that he loves it.

A hospital room. Harvey slowly wakes.  Jim is sprawled in a chair, but gets up – saying that he gave him a scare.  Harvey says he owes Jim.  Jim tells him to pay it back with the truth, and asks how long Harvey has been on the take from Oswald.  They both look pained.  

Harvey insists that it’s only since the license.  He’s practically tearful, and says that he didn’t do anything he would have done anyway – but he has bills, and debts.  Jim is grim-faced and tells him it stops.  Now.  As he leaves – Harvey looks miserable.  

(An aside – Jim presumably excuses his own actions by reminding himself of his high and noble motivations, but he’s full of it.  Even if you accept that his current actions are acceptable – literally in bed with the mob – he trotted off to Oswald in season 2 largely to get back at Loeb, and he murdered a man to do it.

Also – you kind of wonder about Jim and Harvey’s friendship.  Harvey knows all of Jim’s burdens and sins – but Jim apparently doesn’t even know that Harvey has constant money problems.  Is Harvey reticent about his troubles, or doesn’t Jim ask?)

There’s a tv in the corridor outside, telling us Gotham is gripped by terror, and that citizens should report anything suspicious to GCPD.

 Nighttime.  We see a barn full of pigs.  Pyg (I’m not giving him an academic title he possibly hasn’t earned) is there.  He’s singing a threatening little song as the sweet little things all fall asleep, about how the axe will fall tomorrow.  Ugh, fuck off, creepy.  You can’t die fast enough for me.

 General Observations

A lot of the ambiguity is gone from Oswald and Sofia’s interactions.  Before – they were both wary, and everything felt very knowing and cagey.  Now, though, Oswald now seems genuinely emotionally invested, and she’s much more obviously playing him.

I’m not sure in-character I find this.  Yes – Oswald is emotionally needy, but he’s not stupid – and he’s been burned before.  Plus – it’s not even like Sofia is some random Liza-esque woman.  He knows she’s Falcone’s daughter.  The notion he’d have taken this as far as he has seems very far-fetched.

Also – he has that little comment about not being able to trust anyone, and not having a real friend. Did they remove Ivy from the storyline to make all this less glaring?  He did have this.  Ivy stayed with Oswald and faced down Ed – even though she was scared.  Ivy and Oswald’s whole storyline is a terrible muddle and makes no sense.

Sofia holds all the cards right now.  She’s playing Oswald, and Jim seems suspicious – but mostly frustrated and impotent.  She’s presumably going to make fools of them both, and seems to be enjoying herself.

Jim is on his moral high horse and overdue a fall.  He’s out of his depth with Sofia, and Oswald was presented as deserving of our sympathy in those early scenes: making Jim look low.  

He’s self-righteous with Harvey – but it’s one of those tricky situations where I can’t tell whether the show expects me to remember Jim’s past, and is deliberately presenting him as hypocritical, or whether I’m supposed to have forgotten and see Jim as straightforwardly heroic.

I enjoyed Lee this week. Her guilt feels believable, and her actions plausible. She got to be funny as well as sympathetic in her scenes with Ed and Butch. More like this would be good.

I can’t stand Pyg.

Victor is hot.

Thoughts?

[ashtalkshorror-blog]

The Nun Directed by Corin Hardy

From a high to a low “The Nun” is a horror film within the conjuring universe. Released on September 7th 2018 it sets out to tell the origin story of Valak, the demonic nun featured in the second conjuring film. This is when the similarities between “The Nun” and “The Conjuring 2” end however. This film completely failed with critics with a score of only 26% on Rotten Tomatoes which I think is even too generous for this stinker.

The plot focuses on Sister Irene who is played by Taissa Farmiga who you may recognize from “American Horror Story: Coven.” She is also the younger sister of actress Vera Farmiga who is mostly known for her role as Lorraine Warren in the conjuring films as well as playing Norma Bates in the TV series “Bates Motel.”

This is when my first issue with the film begins. Taissa Farmiga is not a bad actress. Her performance in “American Horror Story” proves that but in this her acting seems very wooden and it appears that she isn’t totally invested in the role or story which in my eyes had such potential.

The film is set in 1952 and revolves around Valak terrorising a group of nuns in their abbey. The story kicks off when Sister Victoria is manipulated into hanging herself by the demonic force after she and a fellow nun try to obtain an ancient relic and the second nun is murdered by Valak.

This is when The Vatican gets involved and calls onto a priest called Father Burke who is played by Demian Bichir. He along with Sister Irene is sent to investigate the suicide. I would speak more of the plot if there was anything more to speak about.

Sister Irene and Father Burke are taken to the abbey by Frenchie, who happens to be the same villager who found Sister Victoria’s body when he was dropping off supplies.

Yeah so the film follows the usual horror formulas. The abbey is dark and creepy; the Abbess is sinister sounding and wears a dark vale covering her face which just screams “I’m most likely going to end up being the demon!”

This is another thing I did not like about this film. It’s about as subtle as a highlighter. This film really didn’t consider the intelligence of their audience. This is the case with many horror films as they often just use jump scares and loud music to enable a reaction rather than put in some effort to create a solid atmosphere and characters so that when something does happen we can feel as the characters do therefore becoming more engaged with the story.

The characters in this film are so bland and uninteresting. For instance Sister Irene, all we know about her is that she has visions and isn’t considered a proper nun yet as she didn’t take her vows. Yeah, this is our lead character and that’s all we know about her. The same is almost the case for the other characters as well. Frenchie for example has no real reason to be apart of the story. I believe he was just put in there to be like the big hero in the third act. Another thing, the characters have zero chemistry. In the scenes were there’s a conversation going on they all just sound like they’re reading off cards being held up off camera. They’re monotone voices and lack of emotion make it very difficult to care about what is going on. Not going to lie I was kind of hoping the demon would just kill them all so something interesting would finally happen.

This brings me to my next issue. Valak barley shows itself in this film and when it did it wasn’t very interesting. If anything they took all that made this character scary away. For some reason instead of just straight up killing these people the demon wastes time by just roaring at them and creating ghostly images in an attempt to scare them. Yes, you read that right; the demon nun roars like a lion for some reason. Without giving away too many details the way in which the demon is defeated is honestly so stupid and has zero logic.

I will give this film some credit though. I liked the scenery and there were some scenes that I did find a little unsettling. Like the scene in which the nuns all gather in the church to pray and the demon just slaughters the lot of them yet they are told they can’t stop praying no matter what. That is a genuinely unsettling sequence. But, of course they had to ruin it. They had a great scene and a great addition to the story but no, they made that whole scene just a hallucination that sister Irene is having. Why?! It would have been a thousand times more interesting if they’d made it reality.

That’s another thing the ways the demon attacks these people is so analogical. Especially the scene in which Father Burke is buried alive. This was heavily foreshadowed in the beginning of the film when they are told why the grave stones have bells on them. Anyways, he is buried alive yet the grass on top isn’t disturbed at all. What did Valak do? Dissolve the man through the grass? Did it turn Burke into steam so he could just sink into the ground? Also, if Valak wanted to kill him why did it put Burke’s name on the dam tombstone?. Also, how the hell was Sister Irene able to hear this tiny bell when firstly, she was sleeping and secondly, the graveyard was quite a bit away from the abbey so how the hell did she hear him? Does she have super powers or what?

So yeah, overall this film was a huge disappointment to me because “The Conjuring 2” is one of my favourite horror films and Valak is one of the creepiest and most original characters I’ve seen. So naturally hearing that it gets an origin story exited me but what I got was more like a slap in the face. They took all that mad the character scary and interesting and turned it into a bland and boring mess. The acting is about as emotional as stone; the scares are pathetic due to the overuse of sound effects and the way in which this spirit messes with the characters is so beyond the limits of reality that it just makes the whole thing look dumb and childish.

They could have given this character a much better origin. Like why did they have to set the movie in Romania? And if the demon was defeated how was it able to get to Lorraine Warren in the states and how was it able to cause the haunting that took place in England with the Hodgson family? The plot holes deepen.

“The Nun” is reported to be the highest grossing film of the series at the box office and a sequel is apparently in the works. It is so obvious that this film was just a cash in and no real care went into it. If you want my advice avoid this film at all costs especially if like me you were a massive fan of the second conjuring film. This movie was certainly the most sinful.

[rebeccaheyman]

reading + listening 9.7.20

It’s been a minute since my last bona fide review roundup, in part because our week of vacation was followed by a week of long-overdue family visits (after all parties clocked negative covid tests), and in part because I hit a reading slump. Or rather, my version of a slump: a couple DNF aBooks in a row, plus an imbalance of reading and listening. I’ve pulled myself out of the lull, but the list below reflects my relative floundering for the past two weeks. Le sigh.

You Have a Match (Emma Lord), eBook, ARC (pub date Jan 2021). NetGalley review:

I absolutely loved TWEET CUTE and was eager to see how Lord would follow-up such a sparkling debut. YOU HAVE A MATCH brings the same timely, fresh, emotionally immediate storytelling as TC, albeit with slightly less humor and slightly more pathos. The concept takes a little more oomph to get off the ground (Leo's ambiguous ancestry leads to the DNA test that yields a secret sister result for protagonist Abby, and all relevant parties end up at the same summer camp together), and at times the narrative posturing becomes quite literally acrobatic (climbing trees, falling in ditches). Still, I happily suspend my disbelief for the sake of Lord's smart, authentic-feeling characters. In what might be a hallmark of her work, there's a consistent social media presence (IG, as opposed to TC's reliance on Twitter and an in-world messaging app). My dearest wish is that Lord's future work will not consistently rely on these trappings, which will sadly not age well; her storytelling chops are more timeless than the contemporary technologies featured in these narratives.

Muse (Brittany Cavallaro), eBook, ARC (pub date Feb 2021). NetGalley review:

I want to start by noting my excitement for this book -- and really, anything Brittany Cavallaro writes. I loved the Charlotte Holmes series and was eager to explore this new direction for Cavallaro's work. But for me, MUSE felt like it was always starting -- the action always rising, world always building, characters always establishing their identities. I didn't feel especially close to Claire, whose powers are somewhat ambiguous until they crystallize, very momentarily, in Act III. Part of the trouble, for me, is the intensive brain exercise required at the book's outset, to both visualize and conceptualize this version of America--a monarchy ruled by generations of King Washingtons. Ultimately, the story's setting (St. Cloud, along the Mississippi River) could be any imagined place; that this is a re-envisioned version of 1890s America has nothing to do with the political intrigues that drive the plot forward. I longed to spend less energy on parsing the intersections of real and imagined Americanism, and more time exploring Claire's power, her relationships to Beatrix and Remy, and the political machinations and intrigues in St. Cloud.

If my reading of MUSE is correct, then the second installment in the duology should be a runaway train of action, smart plotting, and feminist agendas -- in short, a book I very much look forward to reading. What I appreciated most in this first half of the story is what I've come to expect from Cavallaro generally: snappy, smart prose and strong women helming the narrative. It wasn't enough to make me love this read, but it's absolutely enough to keep me invested in the story's (eventual) conclusion.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January (Alix Harrow), aBook. May I confess that while this book came highly recommended from an extremely trusted reader-friend, I DNF’d my first attempt with the eBook back in November 2019? I couldn’t tell you what about me + this book didn’t jive last year, but a title this decorated and adored isn’t one I’ll easily give up on. I circled back around to it with the aBook (brilliantly narrated by January LaVoy), and while I can’t say this will rank among my favorites in the genre, it’s a solidly inventive, beautifully written narrative. In theme and structure, it’s awfully close to THE STARLESS SEA, which for me was a better book overall (one of the best of the year, actually). Something about the way the eponymous January too frequently claims “if I had only known what would happen next, I wouldn’t have done x” turned me off; this character seems to have a habit of being so caught up in her emotions that she doesn’t see obviously awful things about to happen. The antagonistic forces felt overdone and a little silly at times, and the mastermind reveal is too obvious by half. For all the flaws in TEN THOUSAND DOORS, the writing is solid enough that I’m absolutely planning to read Harrow’s next, The Once and Future Witches, out next month. 

The Marriage Clock (Zara Raheem), aBook. THE MARRIAGE CLOCK appealed to me in part because its narrator, Ariana Delawari, is a joy (she was absolutely brilliant on THE WRATH AND THE DAWN duology), and in part because I’m a sucker for Desi-focused narratives; I just love reading about these big, close-knit families with a strong focus on culture and family devotion -- not to mention the food and fashion. Suffice it to say, I was predisposed to enjoy THE MARRIAGE CLOCK... and it was... just okay. The book tries to build a story of self-actualization on a foundation of anecdotal montage -- essentially, the first two thirds of the book are about bearing witness to a series of bad first dates and getting commentary on the sorry state of modern romance. The story definitely improves once Leila goes overseas to attend a wedding, but I confess by then I felt obligated to finish simply based on time invested. The book’s conclusion, which I won’t spoil here, would have felt more satisfactory if Leila’s behavior and attitudes hadn’t been so childish throughout. Bottom line: If you can watch early seasons of Sex In The City without wanting to shove Carrie Bradshaw into oncoming traffic, you’ll probably really like THE MARRIAGE CLOCK. But if you’re looking for a more mature, nuanced Desi romance with lots of heart, consider my personal fav, THE BOLLYWOOD AFFAIR (Sonali Dev).

Smooth Talking Stranger (Lisa Kleypas), aBook. This was my first contemporary romance from Lisa Kleypas, which came highly recommended by another trusted reader-friend. The opening salvo didn’t draw me in as quickly as some of Kleypas’s historical romances, but I stuck with it because of the personal rec and Brittany Pressley’s easy-to-listen-to narration. The story is enjoyable enough, despite an underlying “mystery” that lacks real intrigue. All in all, it seems like fairly average contemporary romance... right up until the emotional gut-punch leaves you wrecked at the end of Act III. I couldn’t tell you why -- because again, nothing super special about our MCs or the plot -- but this novel had me crying all kinds of tears by the end. A strange, and strangely satisfying listen, but not necessarily one I’d recommend.

Just Like Heaven (Julia Quinn), aBook. I’ve been meaning to read a Julia Quinn for awhile; she’s a prolific heavy-hitter in the genre, and frankly it feels negligent not to have read her yet. I’ve hesitated, in part, because of purportedly questionable content in one of Quinn’s early titles, THE DUKE AND I. Reading reviews of that novel red-flagged Quinn’s entire catalogue for me (yes, it’s that bad). After reading plenty of reviews for JUST LIKE HEAVEN, I was pretty certain the egregious violations THE DUKE AND I weren’t being repeated, and the allure of Rosalyn Landor’s narration confirmed my choice. Long and short verdict: Meh. While I found our hero and heroine passably tolerable, there’s not much plot here. Instead, there’s an almost obsessive focus on one character’s recovery from an infection (gross), and when that chicken stops laying eggs, we’re asked to care about a quasi-farcical string quartet our other MC is forced to play in. The secondary characters introduced as potential leads for the rest of the quartet were either too stupid or too annoying for me to care about. If you’re hankering for historical romance, pass this over and just reread Tessa Dare for the millionth time (when will I start taking my own advice?).

Fable (hard cover) + Namesake (eBook ARC, pub date March 2021). Instagram mini-review of FABLE here. NetGalley review of NAMESAKE here. Adrienne Young is brilliant, full stop. I loved her previous duology -- SKY IN THE DEEP and THE GIRL THE SEA GAVE BACK -- and the Fable cycle does not disappoint. Strong, subtle characterizations; rich settings and evocative description; just enough mystical magic to make the world sparkle, but not enough to undermine the essential humanity of the story’s heart; and love of every stripe -- familial, romantic, friend, self -- driving the plot forward... could you even really ask for more? I devoured both halves of this gorgeous whole in a single weekend and I know you’ll love them both. Buy Fable ASAP and pre-order Namesake so Adrienne Young knows we know we don’t deserve her.

That’s it for me! On my radar this week:

Luster (Raven Leilani), aBook

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics (Olivia Waite), aBook

Lady Derring Takes a Lover (Julie Anne Long), aBook

The Smash-Up (Ali Benjamin), eBook ARC

The Heiress (Molly Greeley), eBook ARC

We Can Only Save Ourselves (Alison Wisdom), eBook ARC

Plus, the continuing saga, Will I ever finish WHEN WE WERE MAGIC? Stay tuned, and happy reading!