#it gets really kinda complicated and multi-layered

[dailydemonspotlight]

Dante - Day 151

Race: Fiend Occupation: Devil Hunter Alignment: Neutral, with the Devil May Cry Agency January 13th, 2025

Okay, okay, this might seem stupid, but... I wanted to cover Dante for today for one reason, and one reason alone. A joke that only made sense in my head. 151 is the amount of Pokemon there are in Gen 1, right? And people say that SMT is just demonic Pokemon, so why not cover a crossover demon from SMT for the Pokemon number? Yeah, it only worked in my head. Still! Dante! While the fact that it's DMC Dante is just a victim of a stupid bit, Dante is an incredibly interesting figure to dig into, historically speaking- he's far more than just the silly, pizza eating devil hunter that Devil May Cry fans are familiar with. I'm not gonna be talking about his appearance in DMC, as that's not really the purpose of this blog (though I do fully recommend the DMC games, they're fucking fantastic,) but I do want to talk about the man from whom Dante got his name: Dante Alighieri.

Dante Alighieri was a complicated man, to say the least. Born to a rather modest Italian family in 1265, much of his life is recorded in his poetry, as he was an avid author and poet. Betrothed and set to marry someone- a girl named Gemma Donati- at the ripe age of 12, Dante was unfortunately in love with someone completely opposite, Beatrice Portinari. While this might seem like the setup for a romance book where they get together at the end in spite of their parent's protests, Dante instead spent his time pining over Beatrice and writing poems to her, frequent sonnets contained in the text Vita Nuova. What this is relevant to might seem strained on the surface, but Vita Nuova actually also serves as an important insight to Dante and his thought process- what led him to writing his most important work, and what'll make up the majority of this analysis: The Divine Comedy.

The jokes about the Divine Comedy being a piece of Bible fanfiction aren't... inaccurate, but it's doing a slight disservice to the work to proclaim it as just that when it really does expand on biblical study and serve as a fantastic piece of literature in-and-of itself. It's an honest to god masterpiece, and the reputation it's built up is well deserved. Split up into three works- Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso- the multi-part series of poems goes into depth about the layers of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, as well as their roles and purposes in the grander scheme of things. Driven and shown around by his mentor and main inspiration, the Roman poet Virgil, Dante walks through and experiences a heavily layered metaphor of the consequences of sins and the prizes of virtues, with Virgil serving as the voice of reason throughout.

I can't get too in depth with the work, because I've only read bits and pieces and this is more of a summary, if anything, but Dante's Inferno is where a lot of the conceptions of hell even come from- each layer being based on a deadly sin is a commonly recurring motif throughout much of literature that talks about hell, as well as the idea of the layers themselves. Shit, the layers of hell in ULTRAKILL are literally just the layers of hell in Inferno! Still, the separation of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven into layers is given a lot of weight, and while I do laugh at the fact that he kinda just put the people he doesn't like in hell and the people he does like in Heaven, the work overall serves as a multilayered metaphor for... a lot. It's incredibly complicated. Dante himself seemed to take inspiration from his own suffering and exile for the work, and it shows in how it develops and he uses it to understand his own issues- as it goes on and the comedy moves from part to part, the prose grows more beautiful and as Dante moves from Hell to Heaven, it begins to paint a picture of hope.

So, why was this guy chosen as the namesake of everyone(I think)'s favorite cocky devil hunter? I... don't know! It's probably due to the fact that Inferno is by far the most popular and influential work in the Divine Comedy, and it goes into depth about hell, demons, and devils, everything that Dante deals with on a daily basis. I personally haven't gotten very far into the DMC series (I'm only just starting 3) but from what I can tell, a lot of the literature themes seem to tie together in the whole family tree of Dante, Vergil, and later Nero. Many of the character's names are taken from poetry, after all. So, yeah. Not much else to talk about here, other than the fact that DMC is pretty coool. Also this blog is now featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series.

[f0point5]

The problem RedBull face with their second seat is so multi faceted it’s honestly kinda crazy.

Because, as you already pointed out 2018 Max was nowhere near where he is now. So contrary to what some people might want, putting Daniel back in that seat wouldn’t have done anything really (also added to by his own decline).

Putting a junior in? We saw it with Albon and Gasly who got completely destroyed by Max. They are pretty solid now but putting a guy straight out of kindergarten next to Max is just a sure way to destroy their confidence.

Now, we have to give it to RedBull - bc some people don’t want to acknowledge this - they have genuinely tried to get other top(ish) drivers from the grid but who would want to be teammates with the guy who destroys his teammates? In his team as well.

Like, RedBull have tried multiple times to get Norris to come to RedBull to partner Max. And this was before McLaren became good! Pretty sure there was even some interest in Charles (though I doubt he’s ever gonna leave Ferrari).

And, maybe even the most important factor, you will NOT look great next to Max! You will simply not!

I distinctly remember Hamilton fans at the end of 2020/start of 2021 when Checo got signed pushing the “he’s gonna make it hard for Max, Max is finally gonna have a competitive teammate that won’t just roll over, etc.” agenda. And now 4 years later they’re saying he’s the worst driver in the history of F1.

Max is one of the greatest F1 drivers in history. That is a simple fact. You could put any driver on the current grid in the seat next to him and I don’t think any of them would beat him. Would some be close? Beat him in the occasional race? Yeah possibly but another factor that adds to all the complications is that the RedBull is not an easy car to drive.

Now, there’s many conversations already been had about whether the RedBull is made for Max or not and I really don’t want to get into it again, but matter of fact is Max can drive around issues with the car that others simply can not.

We’ve seen the big impact of this twice already in 2020 when Max was driving so well it masked problems the car had and again in 2023 when RedBull took a wrong turn with their development but didn’t notice bc Max was still dominating everything.

And really, RedBull don’t need someone who can beat Max. Just someone who can be close enough to win the constructors and be up there to help with strategy - because that was one thing we really saw this year, very other top team had both their drivers up there while RedBull had Max.

So essentially, it has to be a guy who is fast enough to be close(ish) to Max, has the mental fortitude to deal the pressure, can drive a difficult car and provide good feedback and also be able and willing to accept his number 2 role.

Yeah, good luck.

Yes there’s so many layers to the problem.

Firstly, Max is incredible. Red Bull have to design the car to the limit of what he can do which is far and beyond anyone they can get to partner him. That just is what it is. They can sacrifice performance in the hope that the second driver brings more points but look at 2023? What would have been the point in holding the car back for checo when Max can win on his own if the car is good enough?

But I think a big aspect is how much influence Max has in the team. Red Bull IS Max at this point, it has been really since 2020. They have no desire and really no benefit in going against him or anything that will upset his team. They couldn’t sign Carlos for this reason. I think part of the reason they aren’t able to bring in an established driver is because the Sainz camp or the Norris camp, for example, have their own interests, they can’t just sit there quietly and let Team Verstappen run the show…except in Red Bull they have to. Because over and above Christian who is just trying to get results so needs Max, he’s so deeply entrenched in that team you’ll get no ground trying to rattle him. So I do think from the outside it’s not an attractive prospect.

And then there’s the fact that it’s career killing to be obliterated by Max. Even not for rookies but for someone like Oscar, who is young enough to not need to be good, he can’t afford to be dog walked like everyone else has been.

It’s a problem they can’t really solve. A competent driver won’t want to come to red bull and cycling through incompetent drivers is wasting talent

[groovesnjams]

"Hades Moon" by Akenya

DV:

As I understand it this is about astrology, but I don't understand astrology and I do understand Greek mythology, so let's start there. It's always felt a bit like revisionism the way that Hades gets turned into a figure of negativity. We watch disney's Hercules movie and he's a catty villain aiming to overthrow his successful brother Zeus, a loving father and husband to his loving wife Hera, when like even the most cursory glance at an actual Greek myth shows both Zeus and Hera to be the worst (but especially Zeus) and Hades to be....also a piece of shit but kinda middle-of-the-pack as Olympians go. Probably not as bad as Athena, probably worse than Hephaestus. On "Hades Moon" Akenya doesn't treat him like a villain, which I appreciate. There's a complexity here, in the way that this will pass but at the same time isn't entirely unwelcome. It's mirrored by the depth in the production, a layered and pleasantly funky beat that reveals more detail the closer you listen. Akenya's vocals are similarly complex, at times backing up the synths and melting into the background, at others playing a part of the percussion, only to leap out for emphasis as a massed whole. Death is a transformation, as she reminds us in the extended outro. Why shouldn't a song invoking Hades adopt a similar approach?

MG:

As a proper dilettante, I know a little bit about both these things, but an internet search really helped. Hades moon -- it's the mother wound! This concept is not only astrology, not only Greek mythology, but also awash in modern psychology. Honestly, quite a feat considering that "Hades Moon," as I hear it, is mostly about surviving a doomed romance. Akenya's work here is as dense and multi-faceted as our complicated attempt at unpacking it might suggest; she touches on generational trauma in the song's opening turns but she also drapes the back half in luxurious, silky vamps that glow with sophistication, like an Hermes scarf placed over a table lamp. She's made something magnificent of her healing, stripping back the often ugly growth process inherent in transformation and revealing the alluring self submerged beneath the pain.

[rxttenfish]

Damien x Liam

&

Zoe x Vera

Shipping meme.

oh, damien and liam is one of those classic monprom ships! i think the very first ship art i saw from monprom was damien and liam? it sounds right, though it has been over five years since i first joined, so that could just be my memory not serving me well. point goes is that it's a prominent one and gotta be one of the most popular of the RO x RO ships, and definitely one that's the most alluded to in canon.

the issue is just... i still don't like it very much. to be fair i like very few m/m ships, and i know this is such a popular dynamic that from the offset it just automatically felt the most like a ship that would get popular, but it's a popular dynamic that i hate a lot. i don't really care for the bully/nerd dynamic nor the things it sets up, and especially with things like it highlighting damien's toxic masculinity combining less than favorably with how much liam openly and directly talks about things like sexism within the game itself. it's just... unfortunate, i think.

it feels like everything just conspired to make me hate this ship. it's liam, one of my favorite characters, with damien, one of my least favorite characters. most of the events with these two involve damien beating liam up or beating him down, and while i would agree that the two are still friends from the events that are exceptions to this rule and how it just plays out when it does happen (liam is... very directly the masochistic type, so it doesn't necessarily strike me as out of character or even a badly thought out part of the dynamic if this is part of the selling point on a friendship with damien for liam), it always feels weird and off-putting to me. i think this probably works best, and i prefer it best, as them being occasional fuckbuddies on top of friends, less as a proper romantic relationship.

zoe and vera is another ship that i've seen before, and i can definitely see it more than liam and damien. though i'm notoriously known for not really caring all that much for zoe as a character, thinking of her as kinda weakly written in comparison to some of the others on top of including tropes i hate, which also makes this complicated for me.

i think vera's also always an odd one to ship with, because there's a duality between her constructed image and how she allows people to approach her, and what she actually wants and needs in a relationship for emotional fulfillment. she needs someone who can make her relax and slow down, provide a way to remove her from her whole constructed image to let her be a person again, but they cannot simply disregard that image and what it means, cannot wholly discard her interests and ambitions and all that she's put work into attaining. there's a careful dance that has to be done to disarm her suspicions and her harshness before she lets someone in, but once they're in they need to be loving and fond and safe in a simple way, an easy way that vera otherwise would deny herself.

it's not that i don't think zoe could do it, could be that person. rather, zoe isn't very careful at much of anything that she does, and she's so overt and sometimes even pushy that i worry more about all of it making vera freeze up, shut down, lock zoe out. vera in comparison is... harsh and blunt, yes, but her personality is multi-layered and multi-faceted where what you see is not always what you are going to get, and being able to navigate the complexities of her moods and emotions are needed. she can be quick to punish and quick to say the exact kind of nasty things upon the slightest infraction that could all too easily hurt zoe. being overtly affectionate and positive can work, as we've seen with her friendship with scott, but it also needs an ability to take the punishment she can dole out, either just not getting it or not taking offense in either manner. this can also certainly be done if the other character is person-smart enough to realize what's going on beneath the surface, like polly. this doesn't feel, to me, like something that zoe can do, rather being more the type to take the first time vera lashes out as deep personal offense and either not recovering from it or taking a much longer time to recover from it.

which, again, isn't to say this can't work! i think it certainly could work well, especially if you're fleshing out a timeline or plotting this out more thoroughly, and after this specific period i could see them being very good for each other, but it's also something that is enough to make me skeptical.

[omlette-prince-of-denmark]

As a theatre scholar and practitioner, I feel like this doesn't always apply, but that may just be in my field, where your performers generally come face to face with their audience and to a degree depend on a connection between them. I personally try to always take them into account. Don't get me wrong - I LOATHE it when another director makes choices that betray that he's just scared of the audience and thus keeps it lukewarm.

But a big chunk of performing tends to be creating some sort of connection or energy between the performers and the audience. Thinking about target audience can become very crucial actually. I recall working on a project that was a 10-minute show meant to be performed at a train station, at random times during the day to just sorta brighten the travellers' and commuters' days. So far so good. One of the pieces chosen for this was an extremely multi-layered poem about drinking. The director, scared as he was that if made too complicated no one would like it, played it purely for entertainment value. It ended up more like a celebration of escaping reality via alcohol. Nothing could persuade him to overthink this.

Now I'm sure you can imagine who our regular audience ended up being. Those who saw multiple performances per day for a three week period. That's right. The homeless that had claimed the station as their sort of base.

And now imagine how these performers felt: with their relatively cushy lives, playing a slapstick kinda scene and blurting out lines like "I drink til I can't no more all day long". And imagine me, who had to politely intervene a thousand times so the regulars didn't touch or otherwise startle the performers. They were the ones we interacted with the most in this piece. And always when we were on the cusp of earning their trust or respect, this fucking scene came on!!! They felt so mocked. So humiliated. It wasn't the intention AT ALL. The poem had been part of a thingy that we were supposed to pick our scenes from but... since there was no consideration about the target audience at a train station, the whole thing was an embarrassing disaster that in my eyes did more damage to the atmosphere there than good.

So I guess I'm trying to say, be weird, don't be scared that people might not like it and really question if you find yourself aggressively tailoring and marketing a thing to a specific demographic. But if you are tied to a time and a place and have to interact with real humans, context IS important and considering it can be the difference between a crazy fight between a bunch of angry homeless people and some confused scared actors who didn't know what they had done wrong.

fuck an "intended audience" how about we normalize engaging with new and unfamiliar art pieces on their own terms

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

Another theology question. What do you do with overlapping gods? Does, for example, Zeus rule over thunder happening in Greece, and Thor in the Nordic regions, or is it more complicated than that?

oh good question.

yeah, i think it's much more complicated. needless to say this is another long one.

i believe there are layers to this. i believe yes and no, neither and both. basically, i believe they are the same god. but they are different cultural expressions of what is essentially the same deity. they are different modes/aspects/instances/iterations/"masks" of the same god. like you can have two different groups of friends who you interact with totally differently and share different parts of your history and personality with each and all that. and each group of friends will come away with different understandings and impressions of who you are. and maybe there's a lot of overlap, but maybe there's a lot of difference too. in their minds you may as well be two different people. but you're not. you're the same person. just these two different groups of people have interfaced with you in two different ways.

there are deeper, more general "truths" and then there are more particular, provisional truths. in some "higher" sense i might acknowledge that the two gods are really the same god. but in a more provisional sense i will recognize them as distinct. so if i was a greek visiting scandinavia and i see a thunderstorm i might privately recognize it as zeus but publicly i might recognize it as thor. i might privately make an offering to zeus and then publicly make offerings to thor.

just like if i was a member of one of the aforementioned friend groups (say we're very casual) and i went to a party hosted by the other friend group (they're very formal) and i saw our mutual friend there but he was acting very different (formal) from how he acts around /my/ friend group (casual) i'm not gonna act around him the way we normally would. i would respect him, how he's expressing himself in this context, his other friends, and their relationship with each other by playing along. it's not a perfect analogy but i think it gets the point across. the two different gods are virtually two distinct persons though they might share the same underlying essence. if you come from a christian background you can maybe think of it as similar to the trinity.

you can recognize in a very intellectual, theological way that they're ultimately the same gods while also recognizing their distinction in every day life. i think there is a lot of value in recognizing them as distinct. part of the appeal of polytheism is in the diversity and variety of gods and beliefs and in the tensions between them. i mean, i believe we can go all the way to the top and say that all gods are ultimately the same in some sense since they are all emanations derived from the same ultimate source-god. but i can recognize that while also recognizing and appreciating all of the diversity in the day-to-day. and i think treating them all as the same is kinda boring. it's one of my main issues with monotheism. i believe the gods can be the same or different depending on perspective. like indra's net. a net with infinite glittering, multi-faceted jewel at every vertex reflecting all of the other infinite jewels. i think it's a beautiful representation of the gods and their interrelatedness.

and along this same train of thought, it's important to keep in mind the gods aren't static or isolated beings. they are dynamic and interconnected. gods were and are syncretized and conflated all the time. even the same god can have many different titles/roles/expressions. and many gods have overlapping domains. that sorta gets into my belief that the universe is really organized more like a republic than a (god's) kingdom, with power-sharing and interplay in all different directions.

i also personally believe it's different in cases like you mentioned (with thor and zeus) which are both indo-european gods and then syncretisms with more distantly foreign gods (like hermes and thoth for example). the genetic/cultural proximity of zeus and thor makes their syncretism a lot smoother than something like hermes and thoth because they are so much more genetically/culturally distant. not saying it isn't possible. a lot of gods in indo-european pantheons are assumed to have non-indo-european origins. but through many years of assimilation and incorporation and syncretism they've basically been "naturalized" as a part of the pantheon. i don't really think "naturalization" is required for fellow indo-european pantheons. or if it is, it's a very small, almost negligible amount.

again, i think there is good in recognizing difference. it is my belief that many thousands of years ago all these different groups of people in the world had these theological flashpoints, so to speak. this is where all of these different groups of people more or less spontaneously developed a relationship with their own particular gods, who arose from the genius of the people and their land. and i think that's special. that is a special relationship. those are /their/ gods and these are /our/ gods. and i think it's worth appreciating. i think the gods are expressions of the spirit and culture of a given people. the world is full of a beautiful tapestry of people, races, nations, ethnicities, cultures, etc. yeah you can say "we're all human! we're all the same!" yeah but that's not /all/ we are. we are the same in one level (us all being human) but there are many different dimensions of difference too and that's not a bad thing to recognize. and in that same vein, i don't want to erase the differences between different peoples' particular gods.

i don't think some god of thunder in some far corner of africa or south america or polynesia is effectively the same god as thor or zeus. just because they might have overlapping domains doesn't mean they're identical. much like the fbi, the secret service, us marshals, state police, municipal police, border patrol, game wardens, and sheriffs are all basically law enforcement with often overlapping jurisdictions and even often work together but they are definitely distinct and have different roles or missions and different relationships with each other and with the people, etc.

best to get comfortable with complexity and contradiction!

[monster-noises]

Just realised I rb'd an ask meme from you without sending you an ask in return! For the Soft OC meme with Lazarus: 🍂🌾 🌿

whoops! almost forgot to put this under a cut for length.. also sorry this took me AGES to get to.. that second question really sent me for a loop... ;;=,=

🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with recieving affection from others? Lazarus likes hugs, at least in concept? He doesn't care much for most.. sorta Mushy kinda public touching (even in the timeline where they survive and make it out into the regular world him and Karl don't like.. walk around holding hands n' shit ever, that's just not their vibe) But he will lay an affectionate hand on people he cares about. A gentle sorta touch of the shoulder or arm or something like that, just a bit of physical contact. But he's certainly not the type to go out into the world with his arms wide open I don't think.. Really he will only accept Hugs from certain people... Karl mostly... there's another character no one knows about yet he'd probably accept a hug from too though. But Mostly Karl. Karl could just lay on top of him for an entire day and he'd probably be like "yes. good. this is a desirable outcome." Honestly when they're alone and like.. not working they both kinda prefer to have some kind of contact. Coupla touch starved Fools... (Not like.. they're falling over each other to snuggle always or anything, it's vital to me that they are both fairly independent and not really.. all lovey-dovey like that.. [at least not All the time] but if they're across from each other their legs will cross under the table, or they'll stand close enough to touch shoulders.. stuff like that!)

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them ohh.. as much as I wanted to write a tiny sweet little fic here (and dangit I tried!!!!).. I think sadly without the medium of illustration/comics to bolster me trying to use Karl's voice directly is an Embarrassment Hill I've yet to conquer =v=..

But I shant leave you completely empty handed! a brief description of the way in which Karl would go about describing Lazarus: Like most things about these two actually Coping to the fact that they're in a relationship and that they actually love and care deeply about each other everything Karl would say would be.. sorta plain? Like it wouldn't necessarily strike you at first that what he's saying is Important, it'd all be kinda utilitarian like "he's helpful to have around, it's good having some actual half decent Fucking company for once.. etc etc" but he wouldn't be able to make eye contact while saying it, it would quickly become very clear that he's talking Around his actual feelings and either he's extremely dedicated to masking them, or he's just genuinely not sure how to express them in a more earnest way (honestly he doesn't know the answer to that one himself). Any time he might accidentally stumble into a description that actually comes close to outright stating something he'd deflect with some teasing remark or a hard left into a different idea.. Would he go out of his way to point out at least one physical trait of Lazarus's that he Greatly enjoys though? Oh yes definitely for sure absolutely.

🌿 What way does your OC show that they care without using words? What way do others show your OC that they’re cared about without using speech? Gifts and small acts of service mostly! (this is another way in which he and Karl are similar in my mind, but Karl tends to spring for bigger acts of service instead of the more subtle domestic type that Laz is partial to. He does like to gift little hand-made trinkets, and of course there's the photographs but those aren't necessarily gifts?) While his sculpture work tends to be much more all consuming and deeply personal he Can and Will paint things and give them as gifts. Otherwise it's all little things: Making coffee when he can tell it's needed, cooking, Straight Up Putting Karl In Bed, helping around the factory for more than just what will help their campaign against Miranda.. that sort of thing! I could also go on about how their mutual show of respect for each other; not fear, not reverence, just neutral human respect, is a huge factor in how they communicate and work emotionally but unfortunately it's almost midnight and i need to eat dinner and wooooork on some art late into the night..

[sanguinala]

zam and mapicc are not on the same wavelength at all and it’s kind of funny but also frustrating. 

from zam’s perspective mapicc is a monster who hates him and is planning to torture him until he gets bored enough to get rid of him permanently. from mapicc’s perspective, it’s somehow both way more simple and way more complicated than that - he does what he does because it’s something to do with zam who is always around but who cannot be interacted with normally anymore, and because mapicc was genuinely hurt by zam’s betrayal, not even specifically of team awesome but of himself, and he seems to constantly want to remind zam that he exists and can’t just be walked away from. at the same time, mapicc sees his zam-stalking as some playful thing and the two of them on a more even level with zam plotting against him, not as the victimizer-victim thing that it actually is.       

take the ‘mapicc room’ in zam’s castle for example - for zam, it’s full of terrifying, multi-layered meaning, and is something he was so freaked out by that other people visiting the castle got scared of it by osmosis. but for mapicc, all the living-in-zam’s-walls stuff was just a little joke, maybe with the potential to be something bigger, but quickly dropped and never picked back up again. he put down redstone to represent his line video on it (reddoons thought it was meant to represent blood) and armor (which zam was too afraid to touch for ages) because “i can afford to donate to prince zam.” he then proceeded to forgot about the room and only remembered it and told zam about it after zam had met with leviathan, which zam took as a threat when really it was more of a “hey look at my dropped project” type thing. 

everything actually escalated after leviathan formed because before that mapicc and zam were on slightly more casual terms; they could be around each other even if, unbeknownst to mapicc, zam was terrified the entire time. but after making a deal with leviathan and discovering the ‘mapicc room’ zam was so consumed by the fear of leviathan “getting rid of him” once he lost his for-subz’s-honour fight that he actually ended up escalating the situation - supposedly to make a statement, but it seemed like it was more to get it over with and maybe take back some control over what he saw as an inevitable ban. this behaviour was so bizarre to mapicc and ro, who did not understand what was going on with zam mentally, that the only way they could rationalize it was to assume that it was all part of some mastermind plan and that there were some Resistance that zam was the leader of - so they later tracked him down to stop it, when actually zam had only just been taken in by subz. 

mapicc sees zam lashing out in fear as arrogance or malice, and himself and zam as playing some chess game that zam is either annoyingly throwing or possibly masterminding based on how weird his actions seem to him. he understands that zam is kinda scared of him - in mapicc’s mind people should be kinda scared of him - but he does not seem to get that zam does irrational things because mapicc has put him in a mental hell and he can’t function properly. and so to mapicc it seems reasonable that he could drop the game to help zam out against pangi - maybe just temporarily, maybe it’s a trap, maybe he actually wants to reconcile - but he doesn’t seem to understand that that bridge is so totally burnt that zam can’t understand why he would even offer to do that.

even as far back as the stream where mapicc first found Sanctuary (is it even called that anymore?), he’s always been insisting to zam that he’s not evil, that it’s not like he’s going to destroy his castle or anything, that the other people on the server are way worse than he is, which confuses zam because what point exactly is mapicc trying to make? well, the point seems to be that mapicc is hurt that zam would hate him for being “evil” and then side with people like clownpierce who, as far as mapicc sees it, currently have way eviler plans. mapicc was even wondering if zam could be in on evil plans because of this perceived hypocrisy. he does not see that zam’s hatred for him is not ideological, it’s deeply personal, because somehow he doesn’t understand how much he’s messed up zam.    

[yousavorthis]

the first time i watched spn i was nine or ten and i just absorbed it as spooky horror show, obviously very surface level given how young i was. i had only watched up until season six and then stumbled into the trap of doctor who LOL.

but at the time my older sister (she was fifteen/sixteen) loved spn and was obsessed with dstiel, so, as any younger sibling would, i too started to get into dstiel. a few years went by and when i was in highschool i finished the show (from season six to the end) and was watching from a dstiel perspective.

and i hate that i did this but my main focus was on dean. i wasnt ever really too fond of sam to begin with, not that i hated him or anything, but my sister (older sibling syndrome) was in loveeeee with dean and lowkey ragged on sam all the time (typical 'hes a whiny annoying younger sibling' type stuff). so sam wasnt really a deep multi-layered character to me.

i was on tumblr for dstiel content and then, as most do, fell down the rabbit hole and started to see more and more wincest content. a year ago my sister started listening to ethel cain, got me to start listening, and kinda all at once my tumblr for you turned into wincest/ethel cain posts, and i was eating that shit up.

ive always loved dark stories, fucked up dynamics, and so wincest just peaked my curiosity like crazy. so, i started from the beginning and rewatched the entirety of spn from a wincest perspective, and let me fucking tell you, its like a whole new region of my brain lit up. i instantly fell in love with the story, their dynamic, how crazy they are, how weird they are about eachother, started reading fics. its like the show became ten times more insane and layered and complicated. there was sooooo much there to think about and absorb.

(plus jensen and jared are so fucking hot and absolutely were doing the nasty behind the scenes, so the chemistry between sam and dean was wild)

and in this rewatch, as i became obsessed with wincest and this new version/perspective of spn, i started to actually see sam for the character that he was, and i fell in love with him.

he is my favorite character of any show/movie ever, i am so beyond obsessed with him. i remember during my wincest rewatch seeing the death scene at cold oak and just thinking to myself holy fuck this is the scene of all time this is it this boy is my favorite to ever exist i am so insane over him and this is too much and i cant understand how i ever thought sam wasnt The Character of spn

if anyone feels like sharing. i’m always interested in hearing how/why sam became ppls favorite character. was there a moment when it clicked for you? did you lay eyes on him and immediately love him? was it a slow burn? and if so why/what made it happen?

[nikkiwriteswords]

Hi! I would love to hear your thoughts/predictions/hopes for s3, now that we got the episode titles :D

Hey Nora!! Let me go grab my tua theory hat real quick. Spoiler alert, it looks exactly like the umbrella hat on the 3 right here:

Full disclosure, I've only got like a pinky toe in the tua fandom right now, but I'm still going to see what BS I can spin from these titles.

1. MEET THE FAMILY. The description on imdb is "The siblings get to know some more of the 43 children in an alternate timeline." So, I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Netflix likes to start things off with a bang, so s3 of TUA will probably be no different: we'll probably get a vague flashforward/flash-sideways to a "what if" scenario that will make sense by the last few episodes, and the rest of the episode will be sowing seeds for the s3 plot. The big question is, what family are we meeting? I think this episode will revolve around themes of family (no-brainer) and redefining the relationships between our Umbrella siblings in light of the season 2 finale, as well as their new Sparrow 'replacements'. To that end, initial Sparrow sibling parallels will be presented and subsequently complicated in this first episode. I also predict we'll see varying reactions to this alternate Reginald, as the Umbrella siblings are thrust into an outsider perspective that follows on from season 2.

2. WORLD'S BIGGEST BALL OF TWINE. This is going to be a multi-layered metaphor. I can feel it. It will no doubt refer to the plot that's about to unfold (is it an outside threat to both parties - the Umbrellas and Sparrows - from, say, the Commission, or is it more to do with the two rival Academies?), but I wonder if it also refers to the Wizard of Oz type scenario the Umbrella siblings find themselves in: they aren’t in Kansas anymore. (But you know what is in Kansas? The world's current biggest ball of twine.) Also kind of want to see Klaus knitting again in this ep - perhaps as a way to subtly re-address his ongoing addiction issues, especially now Ben is gone.

3. POCKET FULL OF LIGHTNING. This probably has to do with powers. Sparrow powers, Umbrella powers. There'll be a lot of new flexes in this season, so who this refers to is anyone's guess.

4. KUGELBLITZ. Here's where it starts to get interesting, because this title carries forward the subject of lightning from the last one. According to a very quick internet search, kugelblitz literally means "ball lightning" in German, and refers to both a) a glorified WW2 tank designed to take out aircraft (a certified Big Boi), and b) a theoretical black hole made from light/radiation rather than matter. So this is absolutely going to be a new, unseen power - probably from the Sparrows. Hopefully from Christopher because a cube executing a move named after a sphere just makes me chuckle. Ah, fun with shapes... But in addition, this power is probably going to pack a huge, debilitating punch to whatever narrative is underway at this point in the plot. I'll bet money that whoever wields this power is the tank character in their party or they are after this at least.

5. KINDEST CUT. This throws me back to the barber shop meta, I'm not gunna lie. Someone's going to get hurt, either physically or emotionally, and it's going to be the lesser of two evils. If it's a follow through on the barber metaphor, then Reggie will be the one to orchestrate it. Or, in a surprise twist, will he be the one gTetting hurt or being silenced? (Remember that cutthroat allegory that chases the siblings through the first season, particularly Allison and Klaus. It was about becoming voiceless.) 6.MARIGOLD. Big shout out to this post for spreading the word on the marigold symbolism. I'm pretty sure this will be Reginald backstory, which ties in with the creation of the Umbrella Academy. Also, because I'm a sucker for flower symbolism and reading into things, consider that marigolds:

a) fall into two families, the calendula which means "little clock" and the tagetes, which is named after the Etruscan prophet Tages. The Etruscans believed heavily in predestination - some events are set in stone, and cannot be changed. (Consider the way the apocalypse seems to always come for one set of siblings...) b) are named as such colloquially because they were offered in place of money to the Virgin Mary. (More divine imagery, and reference to a pure mother figure...) They are Mary’s gold. So maybe it’s a reference to Reginald’s wife, which would fit with the flashback scene we see in 1x10.  c) are a flower of duality. They have strong connections with the sun and resurrection, yet the marigold is thought to be a flower of grief because it blooms in autumn. Again, think about that flashback in the first season. At the end of the world and a wife dying, there was the promise of rebirth. d) It's also a very common flower. Remember, there's actually 43 siblings out there. We've only met 14.

Also Netflix loves to do this thing around the halfway point (usually episode 5/6) in a season they're producing. They'll switch up the narrative with a twist or turn that provides a new perspective. 7.AUF WEIDERSEHEN. Once again, a German connection. And, obviously, a goodbye. Considering the last season focused on Kennedy, are we going to get some earlier Cold War time-travel shenanigans? Or maybe WW2? I think Blackman has said something about the Berlin Wall, which is interesting. A country divided... Umbrellas and Sparrows allegory? But as an aside, I'm also kinda lowkey hoping it's a nod to Auf Weidersehen, Pet. If you don't know the show, here's the wiki summary for the first season:

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet is a British comedy-drama television programme about seven British construction workers who leave the United Kingdom to search for employment overseas. They find work on a German building site in Düsseldorf but despite promises of hostel accommodation, are forced to live in a small hut that reminds them of a World War II POW camp. The rest of the series is driven by the interactions and growing friendships between the various characters.

In episode seven, three of the “Magnificent Seven” visit an intercontinental hotel. Just saying. If s3 was to go this route, my money would be on Luther, Diego and Five getting up to shenanigans in this one. I miss 125 shenanigans.😢

8.WEDDING AT THE END OF THE WORLD. Honestly, I’m holding out hope that one of our fave siblings gets married. I feel like that’s a trap though... Actually I feel like it might actually be a trap. As in, this is when the rising action really kicks it up a notch. But also remember the title of 1x01: We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals. Maybe the siblings get split up, possibly in episode 3/4, and they’re trying to reunite through episodes 5-7. Also thinking about hotels and apocalypses...  There’s something very fatalistic about these titles so far. I have a feeling that the B-plot or the subtext is going to reveal a lot more about Reginald’s history and the destruction of his world.

9. SIX BELLS. This makes me think of church bells, which is some nice continuity with the wedding of the last title. But church bells are rung for all sorts of reasons - as a call to worship, or in celebration or mourning, or to tell the time. (Thinking back to those marigolds suddenly.) But why six? Now I’m thinking of bell ringing (change ringing), and the way different bells have different cord lengths to control the time of their chimes. It’s a highly mathematical process. Will this episode be Five’s time to shine? Will he coordinate his siblings through a large attack? 10. OBLIVION. Does anything even need to be said about this one? Hotel Oblivion baby ✌✌ Any further theorising would require more knowledge of the coming plot tbh.

Edit: I wrote most of this at 2am, so I’ve just tidied it up a little. Thank you for the ask, Nora! This was fun to think about. 

[fannishcodex]

So I love @revasnaslan 's Where One Fell Verse, a SPOP AU. :D (Will add a link to the fic series in a comment or reblog below after remembering that tumblr sometimes has issues with embedded links, I think.)

Like, I really love it a lot, it borders on self-conscious "am I being too much, will this for some reason bother the fic writer??" And really, I’ve realized, no way, it won’t, especially since I write fic too and know I would be delighted if my fic got that reaction; but I think this may be more part of my self-consciousness and shyness. In any case, my affection for these fics is on hyperfixation level. I'm in the WOF Verse fandom. It's a thing I've been thinking about in some way since I found it late last year via @cirusthecitrus, it's one of the things that cheers me up these days. I struggle to articulate my pleasure with this fic, but I want to try to do it more.

This fic is a wonderfully character-driven story.

Fic spoilers under the cut, so recommend reading Where One Fell (fic 1) and Everything But A Door (fic 2) before this--and also, just, this fic has my deepest rec and everyone should check it out:

But, another different note first, even more self-conscious on my part: me writing about this fic more feels long overdue, but I really do struggle to sometimes articulate even my positive feelings about a thing because I want to get it across well--but I'm trying to more just spill it out now instead of trying to refine it more; and just also other things have been...a lot, there's been a lot (good and less good) that's pulled my attention in other directions too. So, long overdue, I wish I could've done more earlier, but I still just want to...gush about the fic; but I get self-conscious and worry about, like, "I don't want to end up pestering/pressuring and asking for immediate gratification for a new chapter/I don't want to guilt-trip for an update especially since I feel like I understand because I write fic too and I write slow and it's hard"...but I still want to gush about WOF verse, especially since it's like any other story I enjoy. I like gushing about the stories I enjoy.

So, again, this fic is wonderfully character-driven, which I love.

I'll bring up some canon for obvious reasons, but mostly in terms of contrast. One of the ways WOF Verse felt refreshing and drew me in was that after SPOP canon--well, in some ways SPOP canon feels like a wasted ensemble show; like many other things SPOP doesn't pull off, it doesn't pull off an ensemble show (especially when it ends up sidelining a bunch of characters that should've been prioritized more instead of a very mishandled character), and it kinda feels like it ends up having too many characters/like it starts feeling like too many characters if some are sort of just there and not really used (and I have my thoughts on who should've been prioritized, but that's another post; though granted I think my interest in this fic really indicates some of the characters I would've prioritized more).

So, I enjoyed how WOF Verse focuses on a smaller cast, giving them more attention and exploring them more. The general summary of the fic immediately drew me in, because I'm a sucker for family themes and dysfunctional families and familial love getting messy and complicated in fiction, and I hadn't realized I needed clone Hordak and his genetic template/progenitor Horde Prime shifted to them being literally brothers, plus the added twist of having Horde Prime actually care for his brother, but Prime's become thoroughly twisted in how he shows that affection and protectiveness--didn't know I needed that until I found this fic. And oh do I enjoy how this fic opened up the original '80s She-Ra/MOTU up to me more, because I just thought "wow, Hec-Tor Kur is a good made-up alt name/'real-ish' name with a last name for Hordak in this AU, and Anillis Kur just sounds cool and it just feels like it fits as an alt name/real name for Horde Prime when he's not always using that title," and I thought making them literally blood brothers was just a neat twist on them being clone and genetic template/progenitor. But nope, apparently Hec-Tor Kur and Anillis Kur are their real alt names from the original '80s canon which also heavily implies they're brothers, and that's really cool. (And I think it would've been really interesting if spop/the latest reboot had actually just explored that more, explored them more as brothers and siblings.)

Again, WOF is very character-driven, and I love that. And I enjoy how this feels like it also fits the story and world of the fic, which involves Anillis Kur/Horde Prime going into Extremely Overprotective Brother Mode and confining his sickly younger brother Hec-Tor (Hordak) to the Velvet Glove because he's that paranoid about anything happening to his brother due to a lot of family trauma that happened before Hec-Tor was even born/when he was just a baby (and baby Hec-Tor himself almost succumbing to illness and dying did not help with Anillis's issues), not to mention that controlling; so much of the fic so far is in a closed world, it adds to the hyper focus on the characters in that closed world. I appreciate how at times the fic really does have this claustrophobic feeling. I like how it sometimes makes me think of like a one-setting/limited setting play on a multi-chapter scale.

And of course, I like the specific characters getting this sort of hyper focus, and WOF makes me enjoy them even more. I love Hordak, his character, his voice, his design, etc. Horde Prime also has such a cool design and again that same cool voice, I adore Keston John's voice acting and his range in it. Canon S5 doesn't give him enough internal depth or character though, and ultimately makes him too much of just an obstacle and symbol/too much of a plot device in the show and a wasted opportunity for a more interesting character. That becomes even more apparent in contrast to WOF Verse, because Anillis Kur/Horde Prime is so much more interesting!!! Like Anillis/WOF!Prime is so much more interesting, it makes me realize how canon Prime is lacking in character/interest.

Ohman, this Prime. Prime has a great design and a great voice, and WOF has an interesting personality to match those elements in quality. There's so much fascinating contrast with him in WOF, and it makes him feel like a more unsettling villain. We've seen him care, and so it feels more frightening when he turns more aggressive and ruthless and cold. WOF's opening scene really effectively sets that contrast with him; it starts with him exhausted but having a really sweet moment with a very young Hec-Tor, and then not long after that when Hec-Tor's asleep in his arms it's a very unsettling mood whiplash with how Anillis coldly treats the clone attendant; it's even very effectively distilled and crystalized even further with the image of Anillis holding a sleeping Hec-Tor in his arms while glaring daggers at the clone attendant, that contrast of love and threat. Like, definitely a character that can do Both and I love that. And contrast adds layers to Anillis, it renders him in even more emotional dimensions, he can be multiple things at once.

And I rather love that he's far less...touchy, with everyone; it more finally struck me that he's rarely negatively touched anyone until a pivotal scene, and it being a rarity made the scene pack more of a punch, and then I looked back and realized he just doesn't do that often, there's another earlier scene that also feels shocking because it's another rare use of explicit touch, his touch is more targeted--he doesn't need to constantly do it to feel threatening at all, and is in fact much more threatening and unsettling without it. (I literally had to pause some instances because I was nervous about what Anillis would do next.) It's so fascinating to watch Anillis steadily grow worse and to watch Hec-Tor gradually have the dawning realization of what Anillis is really doing and the truth of his situation. It's interesting to see Hec-Tor gradually realizing that what he's lived with his whole life and what has felt normal isn't a good thing, it's not acceptable.

And I really do like that familial love is such a motivating factor for Anillis, and that it's something that feeds into a lot of his ruthlessness and villainy; and it feels like something I still don't see enough in fiction. And it just feels more believable, more consistent. Anillis acts horribly, is abusive, but it still feels like what he does is out of love for his brother and he really is blind to what he's actually doing to his brother, that it's the opposite of what he wants, it's not protecting him like he believes. I like that level of character believability/consistency, and part of that also involves how it's overall framed, and it's still framed as pretty terrifying; Anillis cares about his brother, but his methods are twisted.

And my gut feeling does...well, feel connections between canon and this AU--and that may be obvious as source material and fic based on it, but I mean--it's as if canon were the very rough first sketch/draft, and WOF is the fully realized version of the character, plus the change of shifting his brotherly status into a brother that actually does care but goes about it in a horribly twisted way. WOF takes parts and pieces and little details from canon and fleshes them out into something more fully dimensional and more interesting. Like the trace of canon Prime's collection with plants/other things and even arguably the imagery at the end with his ship the Velvet Glove becoming a tree feel connected to a more fleshed out version in WOF where Anillis keeps a garden. And there's so much meaning that can be pulled from his garden--it's another reflection of his controlling behavior with the way he controls/manages the garden; on the flip side, it feels like it further reflects the contrast/dichotomy in his character, as gardens can still have positive connotations too--it can reflect the potential Anillis had (may still have?) for genuine good/for genuinely nurturing care. And it also does more explicitly point to Anillis's affection for family since his late father had kept a garden too and Anillis's own garden on the Velvet Glove still has his father's plants. There's so much done with Anillis's garden.

And with his backstory and the contrast in his character, just his...everything, I also want to know more about Anillis, I'm curious for even more of his backstory, even going more into "why are you like this?" Like this is a genuinely fascinating, charismatic, threatening, multi-faceted antagonist right here.  

And I can go on about Anillis, but I love Hec-Tor/Hordak in this too. I love Hordak, and I enjoy how this still feels so much like Hordak, but with a different life; I feel like there are commonalities that remain from canon within him combined with differences based on the AU he's in and the different experiences he's lived with. Like, there's such an interesting detail with Hec-Tor's growing anger issues that remind me of Hordak--it's there, but different because of their different lives, Hec-Tor's developing because of his isolation but still quieter, simmering, because his brother only has his best interests at heart, he shouldn't act like this... And then it’s so nice to see Hec-Tor be even more talkative about SCIENCE because he does have more space to be a bit more open about his passions in this AU/different life situation. And it's all like another AU I didn't realize I wanted until I saw it--I really dig seeing Hordak/Hec-Tor as a baby, as a little kid, getting to have a childhood and get to have more typical developmental stages and to have more familial experiences, albeit twisted ones. And I love how the story has shifted to Hec-Tor more, love his POV and following him on his journey.

And the clones! The clones are great in WOF and give me feels too. I love how more of them are focused on as individuals, and that we get to see more of their characters and glimpse their differing views. And when Etherian characters join in, they're as well written and interesting too (the Entrapdak is so good). I just like WOF's cast, and the line-up plucked from canon and how they adjust to the AU; this ensemble just feels better, and it's utilized and treated better than canon.

And the worldbuilding with Anillis & Hec-Tor’s race and the clones and their world is so good and seamlessly interwoven with story and character, enhancing the whole thing even more and making things even more interesting.

I just...really love these characters and this story. They have a lot of heart and intrigue.

(Disclaimer: I definitely ended up having trouble figuring out tags for this. Especially since I think only the first five tags actually show up at first? And I think last I checked tumblr freaks out over dashes within a tag so while “hec-tor kur” probably fits better, I don’t think tumblr can handle that for some reason so just going with “hordak,” which also really still just fits.)

[empty-dream]

Just watched and read Tower of God

Aka Tower of Scandal

There is a so-called The Tower that can grant anything to anyone who ever set foot on its top. Among people climbing it is a girl who wishes to see the stars and a boy who has nothing but her.

When I saw the original author's name in the anime, I was like "Hm, cool but does it stand for anything tho?" When I found out, it's "Oh. No wonder they use the shortened version."

Imma make a general opinion here. See the reblog for Webtoon Season 2 and 3 as well as the deeper stuffs. (Although it's just gibberish in it)

The Webtoon is still ongoing, right now already hitting 3 seasons with 450+ episodes (chapters). Good lord that's a lot of chapters, and each of them is pretty long. 

To put it in perspective, one chapter can fit 2 separate fights plus exposition, while usually 1 chapter of standard weekly manga has like 1 fight and side exposition. It took me a full week to read the webtoon and that already cut a lot of my sleep time.

One of the vivid experience reading the webtoon is the art improvement. Sure the earlier chapters are kinda amateurish, but overtime it gets better and even better. By the time it enters the later part of Season 2, every flashy fight scene is spectacular and the art style is solid A+.

The worldbuilding is amazing. The power system and lore of the world are explained really well and they are really interesting. The floors and sites that the cast visit have amazing visuals and stories. As for the tests, I can get by without actually reading the rules lmao. It's like a real adventure.

Lots and lots of characters. For Season 1 only, I love the dynamic between everyone in the batch, some friendly, some hostile, some mysterious. The ones that are really close are heartwarming. For Season 2 and 3, well let's say it gets rowdier and crazier.

Great character designs. Like, everyone looks different from various distinct races and with physical attributes. So many characters I'd like to draw. They also dress differently. Even their attires differ from arcs to arcs. Tower of Fashion, indeed.

I love the story about The Shoes in the King's Display Case. It really tells the problems with the Jahad princesses system and by extension the government of the tower. It’s one of the first signs that being in the tower, on a high position at that, doesn't sound all that glorious anymore if you're more on the humane side. The narration right now starts with Anaak Jahad, but later this is constantly explored from various perspectives with various motives.

Also btw this is one of the few media that realistically shows what will happen if you fight in a pair of high heels.

Look, I went here just for the girl-with-dream and boy-with-only-her story. I just thought hey that's an interesting storyline. Like it'd be cute, romantic, and maybe will be angsty after a while. Who knew the whole thing would be played like that.

This is like a shounen manga, except that there are more complicated political thriller, power abuse, and humanity issues in it. Many protagonist traits, among other things, that usually are viewed as good in other comics are now being questioned and deconstructed so thoroughly and mercilessly.

A lot of people say Bam's boring but let's be real, he's basically a baby. He literally lives in an underground cave alone until Rachel comes along. He does know nothing except her. Watching him getting to know the world in the tower and meeting new friends - essentially learning about the world outside that cave - is really fun to me.

Get yo self a boy like Khun, who will lie, cheat, beg and bribe to make you well. Not to mention kill and die for. Your name has to be The 25th Bam tho.

What is it with local smug light-haired boys being really close with the shy brunette boys???? The funny thing is, the chummy, attached-right-off-the-bat, no-personal-space atmosphere between them is pretty much anime original, compared to the webtoon. Now imagine when the anime reaches the webtoon Season 2 and 3, where even I went "Dude. Holy. Shit."

Rak best boy. Everyone and their mother loves Rak. 

Keep an eye on Shibisu. Yes, that joke character with a purple tracksuit. You won't regret it. 

*prostrate in front of Yuri Jahad* YOUR MAJESTY!!!!!! The shits that she pulls in the entire series *chef kiss till I die*

Tbh I am confused which ones are the correct spelling of the characters' names?

Convoluted multi-layered plot twists drama: *exists* Someone somewhere: All according to keikaku. 

I really went 5 episodes thinking that is just Khun's multicolor hair instead of his bandanna what the fuck. 

Mr. Lero Ro I admire you and your sensible ass.

No I won't say anything about Season 2 and on from the Webtoon here because the whole thing is a giant spoiler. But just a very important heads up: David Hockney is mine.

I knew Kpop boyband Stray Kids exists but this is the first time I listen to their works. The OP and ED songs fucking rock. They feel modern yet at the same time kinda ethereal. That high pitch <33

Also I like the OSTs in that I don't actually have a favorite track, but every track is suited well with the scenes. Apparently the guy, Kevin Penkin, is also the one who composed for Made in Abyss. No wonder I got the same vibe.

The anime adds lots of extra scenes but also redacts a lot of the webtoon scenes and exposition. As far as this writing, I personally don't think it's a major problem.

Tl;Dr: I was looking for a cute boy-girl story how did it become like this. 

[shamelessllamapeanutthing]

Ships and Feels about them

HUGE self-indulgent post but my brain is frozen and I need to get the juices flowing so I can start studying, because if I don’t get into the college I want I just might have to kill myself and then y’all can say bye-bye to your fav fics by your majesty. 

YoruSoi- status: worSHIPPING (geddit? XD) them like the goddesses they are

I regularly play Wicked Ones by Dorothy and just imagine these two tag-teaming against their opponents, like the crazy, badass, ninja lesbians they are. It fucking gives me goosebumps and makes me blush like I am imagining them rawing each other instead. I am a big time SUCKER for powerful, cut-throat wlw. They make me feel powerful by extension, and my devotion for these two is completely unparalleled. 

VictUuri- status: will protect them with my life  

First of all, I love how layered and interesting they are. I can think about this show and this ship for hours and hours on end ( @feastingonvicturi will vouch for that). I naturally gravitate towards angsty ships and writing (because I am a weird sado-maso cross, what can I say) except for these two fluffy bastards. I had been putting off watching YOI because of the weird things I had read about ‘yaoi’ animes (IK YOI is not yaoi, now) till someone told me how pure and deep their love for each other was and welp, here we are. 

RenRuki- status: comfort ship I’ll defend till death

It was one of my first ships and even as I multi-shipper, I always had a preference for them. Childhood-friends-to-lovers trope tugs on my heartstrings like little else and Renji’s devotion towards Rukia warms my heart. I hear them in nearly every song, imagine them in every scenario I read or write about and even though I have multiple ships I adore involving Rukia and Renji both, the two together is everything to me. (Presently obsessed with the amazing hcs and art by @recurring-polynya you might wanna check them out)

KaiRay- status: heart is taking a break, but remains firmly attached

I got into Beyblade BECAUSE of this ship, because of the moments these two shared in V-Force that I caught glimpses of when my younger siblings were watching the show. I love Kai and Ray’s dynamic and I guess what attracts me the most to this ship is the fact that as a teenager I was exactly like Kai and had my own personal Ray who got me through the worst in life. I love the sense of sweet nostalgia this couple brings me and I believe they are perfect for each other. 

MariahEmily- status: coffee shop AU, anyone? 

I was HUGE on MariahxRay but strong, stylish, kinda bitchy, dumb thot falling for the highly educated and fierce lady boss she doesn’t really know how to approach is another one of my favourite tropes, (see: PansMione, down under). I saw them interact and due to personal reasons my brain rejects petty rivalry between girls (because we’re all tired of that, children, be honest) and immediately tries to fix it in fanon. ( @trashyartz  and her beautiful drawings had a lot to do with fanning these flames.) 

ShunUki- status: want them to adopt me

Need I say more? No, but I wanna. I love the steady, secure vibes of this ship. This is the one ship I physically can’t write angsty shit about because of the level of understanding and sense of comfort these two share. They give me kind and strong dad vibes and I have emotionally been an orphan since I was in my early teens so. 

WolfStar- status: they’re canon, JKR can suck my toes

Fucking TERF 

Listen, listen, have you been listening? I mentioned I am a sucker for angst, right? Are you looking at the angst potential here, cause wow. What originally attracted me to this ship was the Chemistry between the two, cause it’s undeniable. You can NOT imagine Maurauders’ Era without imaging these two pining over each other. It’s impossible. 

PansMione- status: toxic and problematic, but oh so hot

I got on this ship because I was craving some quality wlw ships. You guys’ I can not explain to you how often female characters in shows and books do not pass the Bechdel test and I stumbled on some gorgeous PansMione art and just fell in love. IK this ship is hella problematic, but I am firm on my stance that the baby Slytherins deserve a redemption arc. 

Can you imagine these two after Pansy realises everything she did wrong and vows to be better? I imagine Hermione stumbling on a hurt and confused Pansy in year 8, who can’t stop her tears from flowing and is so ashamed of herself for that. She is feeling guilty and resisting the emotion with everything she possesses because the world she’d always known has crumbled down around her and everything she believed in has now been proven to be wrong. 

She lashes out at Hermione because how dare that smart, gorgeous, courageous girl also be everything Pansy once thought she was? How dare she, a muggleborn, unravel the complicated threads of the wizard world so quickly, so efficiently, and clearly see what Pansy never could? Pansy is hurt and guilty and angry and she hates the fact that fucking Granger of all people has now witnessed her crying. 

She feels lost and her anger only rages louder when Hermione doesn’t gloat or belittle her, she doesn’t say anything. 

(Why is this turning into a ficlet, WHAT) 

Anyways, Pansy gets over herself and she and Hermione get together and oh my god, imagine them then. Smart, powerful, righteous Hermione taking the fucking Wizarding World by a storm every single day with her sexy, vivacious, clever Pansy by her side. They’d be unstoppable and they’d love each other something fierce. It would show in the way they look at each other, with a sense of victory, not only over Voldemort but over the entire Wizarding society that had done everything it could to tear them apart, and ultimately failed. 

(BONUS: Imagine Ron and Harry being utter dorks when they go to Pride parades with Hermione and let the image cleanse your skin and soul. @feastingonvicturi @trashyartz one of you (or both?) needs to collab with me so I can write a fix it fic for these two, please. I will pledge my soul to the devil to be used and abused as per Trashy’s whims in exchange. Taura will do it cause she’s my best friend and loves me more than I deserve to be loved.)

(In conclusion, I adore every single one of these ships and am willing to slice a bitch’s throat to protect their honour. Except for YoruSoi, they are fictional characters IK but I am convinced they do not need anybody’s protection, least of all this dumb fuck’s and just might laugh at the very idea.) 

Also, feel free to reblog or comment with rants about your own ships even if they go directly against mine. More love to you if you expand on the ships I mentioned here myself. Tell me about your poison of choice, go ahead. 

But if any one of you dares to send hate to any of my ships, please know that I am something of a God in my own capacity and will smite you with my preferred weapon of choice i.e. blindness in the face of adorable puppies or kittens (in pictures, videos, art, real life or otherwise). Beware. Let people love what they love.

[bestworstcase]

Character ask meme: Rapunzel

What I love about them:

she is SO fucked up but she tries SO hard. and she’s such a complicated and multi-layered character, you know, like she’s genuinely sweet and sunny but there’s also a degree to which that demeanor was cultivated by gothel and is a result of her viciously repressing her less pleasant feelings; and flip-side she’s got this hard, rough-and-tumble streak that draws her to cassandra and the pub thugs etc while also ultimately being someone who wants to settle down and live a peaceful life and that’s her happily ever after. she’s manipulative and guileless at the same time, half her flaws are things gothel taught her to do (like her toxic positivity) and the other half are things she picked up from gothel (like her inability to hear criticism) and that creates such a fascinating blend of seemingly-contradictory flaws—like that she’s simultaneously a people-pleaser and very forceful about getting her way. i just. love what tts did with her a lot because based on the film she could have just as easily been, like, soft + sweet + nice to everyone little goody two shoes but the writers didn’t just keep the edge she had in the film they expanded on it in such an interesting and realistic way

What I hate about them:

this is more of a *shakes fist* didney!!! thing but i wish the tts team had been given free reign to really. dig into rapunzel as a flawed human being because s1/s2 really strongly give the impression that they wanted to do that and set themselves up to do that and then s3 smells like an executive stepped in and went no you can’t so all that beautiful beautiful setup went down the drain. this haunts me. 

Favorite Moment/Quote:

“no edge? no edge?! oho, i have got edge, sister, i’ve got so much edge that... well– you would fall off of me. if you’re not careful. ...because i’m edgy. you would fa– trust me, it adds up.” aljksdfj

What I would like to see more focus on:

i would love love love to see more fanworks that get into her flaws + her recovery from gothel’s abuse in a way that isn’t just, like, thinly-veiled character bashing on the one hand or simplified down to “rapunzel is sad bc gothel was mean” on the other. not that there’s not fanworks out there doing just that but as always with things i like i want More. 

What I would like to see less focus on:

i feel like there is a certain subset of rapunzel-focused fanworks that kinda. gloss over her rough edges and sometimes-toxic behavior and make her out to be... either the one note goody two shoes or essentially just a damsel in distress for eugene [or cassandra] to protect and i...don’t like that. 

equally and in the opposite direction i would love it if the varian corner of the fandom like, chilled on the “rapunzel didn’t make varian her #1 priority therefore she is a child abuser” vibe alksdfjklsdf

Favorite pairing with:

i do like new dream, in that... it’s nice and they’re sweet and i like seeing healthy m/f couples in fiction sort of way. 

i honestly have a hard time seeing her with anyone else? requited cassunzel has to be done very well and in a particular way for me to get on board with it [untangled / burn a broken effigy are the big two in this regard] but i’m really not that invested in it except insofar as i am drawn to the messiness and i love what unrequited cassunzel does for cassandra’s character. and then beyond that i...dk? for non-new dream aus my default tends to be rapunzel is single alksdfjklsd

Favorite friendship:

well with cass. 

NOTP:

i’m nnnnot keen on hector/rapunzel.

Favorite headcanon:

her parents originally named her helene.

[bengalaas]

A Year In Review: 2020 Writing

This has been a strange year, to say the least, and it's weird to look back at the New Year's resolutions I had for it. Writing has been complicated, with little downtime from work and uni, and the lowkey stress permeating this whole plague situation has taken a bite out of my concentration and inspiration. 

But here's a review of what I still managed to get done :)

I’ve seen a different end-of-year format making rounds, but I’m using the one from last year. So if you see this, feel free to either consider yourself tagged, or just take the tag as an expression of love and thanks ♥

Writing

My main writing resolution was to finish A Different Kind of Courage (Hobbit fic, Fili/Tauriel) in summer/autumn, but that didn't work out. I did write 27′500 words for it, and I'm not giving up on that rarepair pool noodle lol. At 43'400 words it's also my second longest fic to date :D

I added a 3800w chapter to Canticle of Chaos (Loki x Dragon Age crossover). By this point I'm pretty sure that fic is kinda cursed, so I'm writing it very slowly and only when I’m feeling lucky lol. Nevertheless, I think it's some of my best writing, and it's been a great exercise in “writing for yourself”.

I also translated a wonderful series, Lucky Heart (American Gods, Laura/Sweeney), 5600 words. I absolutely loved the rich mythological and metaphorical layers of the original, and it was a treat to try and reflect the author's style in English, playing with the rhythm and the word choices. Neither English, nor Russian are my native languages, so I’m double proud of this one!

Sometime in autumn I took an unexpected detour and fell into the tiny Varric/Merrill canoe and started a series Mirrors and Manuscripts, currently featuring 2 works at 6155 w total. 

And some smaller things: I polished and posted an old F!Brosca & Zevran oneshot (No Honour in Dust, 1260w), and a curious writing experiment with M!Hawke/Isabela (Asyndeton, 1040w). I'm also slowly filling the “30 Days of OC” challenge with Martin Lavellan (5800w). And there were two other DA Drunk Writing drables, but they disappeared into the void whence they came from (I accidentally deleted them).

So that’s a total of 51′100 words, which I think is not bad, considering this fun year, and actually it’s 20k more than last year :D

Beta thanks

Still no beta, the bengalaas be wild and unspellchecked. 

However, I’d like to thank @hollyand-writes for a betaing opportunity :) I’m sure there’s room for improvement in how I communicate my comments, and, being a non-native English speaker, there’s stuff I can’t really comment on, but diving into things critically is something I do enjoy, so — thanks for letting me :)

Progress

I think, this year I'm getting a bit better at finishing things. Oneshots and prompts definitely have forced me to focus on keeping the right amount of tension in my writing up until the end, and then to wrap it up nicely. 

I’ve started compiling glossary lists with smut expressions and vocabulary lol, and also body language, facial expressions etc. Because it’s unbelievably frustrating to clearly picture what the character is doing and completely forget what’s that gesture called in English. Glossaries save me some time.

And also... I’m learning to let fics progress at their own pace. A reader reminded me in summer that a slowburn is a slowburn for a reason and it would be wrong to force it to move faster. It would break the authenticity of the story, of the characters. And when I was trying to push and finish a chapter recently, I again realised that the reason it’s not working is because I was ignoring the underlying truth of the story in favour of getting shit done. So. Truth ftw. Even if it takes its sweet time to emerge.

Community

My corner of the fandom has been wonderful, filled with talented, friendly people like @hollyand-writes​, @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold​, @lucyrne​, @barbex, @cafeleningrad, @dorianpink, @serial-chillr, @dafan7711​ and others. Thank you for being here and making this an inspiring, positive place! ♥

Additionally, raw respect for D, who made 100 lists x 30 prompts this year, and has been a staunch, supportive, positive voice in the fandom and an overall wonderful person. 

I’ve also started talking with people more, and even joined the DA Drunk Writing Circle :D

Comments

I’ve been blown away by the comments I got on the Varric/Merrill oneshots, those were totally unexpected! Comments on the Lucky Heart series have felt so damn gratifying, for having been able to bring those stories to the English-speaking readers. Comments to Courage... they just warm my heart so much :))

Detailed, long-ass responses to the Varric/Merrill shots and to my own comments have been a delight. When discussions in the comment sections flood my email and AO3 starts to feel like a social media site... I live for it :))

2021

I’ll continue working on Courage and maybe puttering away on Canticle of Chaos. Maybe finish the 30 Days of Martin Lavellan series.

I don’t feel like starting any new multi-chapter fics, because I think that the next step for me would be to learn to plot properly and write a first draft before starting posting, and I just can’t see myself doing that next year lol. 

I’d like to do more Dragon Age oneshots and prompts. Write something small and whimsical. Maybe Varric/Merill, since people seem to like it. I’d like to learn to write faster, so random prompts it is. Maybe I’ll finish playing DAI, for once. That might give fodder for new fics too. 

And here’s a crazy idea lol, but maybe I should try writing something in my own native language next year XD

[wille-zarr]

Okay hoooo boi do I have things to say about your fic and your writing🙌😭😭😭 (ps I still have plans to draw the reader and Din once I’m done with my commissions because your honor, I LOVE THEM)!

First thing’s first: your writing? Excellent. Characterization? Superb. MC is unlike any character I’ve read before. She’s sassy, really talkative, kinda reckless, definitely flirty, but what I love the most about her is the fact that beneath all of that, she’s been through her own stuff and has a sort of vulnerability that I adore.

That being said, my favorite parts of this fic are definitely when said vulnerability can be seen (added bonus when it’s seen by everyone’s favorite tin can, Din Djarin).

My absolute favorite chapter so far is Chapter 7 (“Kids, Cover Your Ears”), because not only do we get to see protective, Soft Din™️, but MC actually lets her guard down enough to forget herself and let us see her. Like when she reluctantly keeps her mouth shut “for the children”. Or when Kuill mentions her past and we see her struggle internally before running into Din, and for a split second, not keep up the walls she’s built around herself. Peak characterization, I say!!!! *shakes fist at the sky*

I hope this is all making sense😂 When you asked what we remember your writing by, for me, it’s that—characters that are more layered than any onion or ogre in existence😂

I admit I’ve flipped through your amazing fic countless times! (and reread the part where Din tells those people to let her go👀, when she wakes up and is finally honest with him, when he tells her to stay—gosh, my heart—😭).

You are AMAZING!!!! Please keep at it becauee you’ve got insane talent and I love your story!

^^^me when I saw how amazingly long your comment was jshdhdhshs

I DIDN’T EVEN READ IT FOR THE FIRST 30 MINUTES BECAUSE I WAS ENJOYING THE FEELING OF JUST- KNOWING IT WAS THERE IF THAT MAKES SENSE

Okay hoooo boi do I have things to say about your fic and your writing🙌😭😭😭 (ps I still have plans to draw the reader and Din once I’m done with my commissions because your honor, I LOVE THEM)!

AHHH I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEM!!! I’ll also be sure to link to the fanart on both Ao3 and tumblr so everyone can see it!! (And for the record, I’ll also being to this with any fanart anyone sends in, such as this amazing fanart from @styxxus!)

First thing’s first: your writing? Excellent. Characterization? Superb. MC is unlike any character I’ve read before. She’s sassy, really talkative, kinda reckless, definitely flirty, but what I love the most about her is the fact that beneath all of that, she’s been through her own stuff and has a sort of vulnerability that I adore.

That being said, my favorite parts of this fic are definitely when said vulnerability can be seen (added bonus when it’s seen by everyone’s favorite tin can, Din Djarin).

Oh my goodness, I am always so thrilled when readers tell me they adore Ka’r’ika/Reader because she means SO MUCH to me. Ngl, she’s actually based on an old Clone Wars OC me and @sana-katarn created years ago.... There are significant differences, but the core personality was heavily influenced by her. So, I’m actually quite sentimental towards Ka’r’ika/Reader! 

Ka’r’ika/Reader is a very complex, multi-faceted character. Yes, there’s that core personality- the real her- the person she would have been had she grown up with her family on Sularia. But the life she led after the Empire’s raid… Let’s just say it heightened certain negative characteristics she already possessed but would have been left much more dormant otherwise. Her fight for survival brought out both the best and worst in her. We will soon be learning much, much more about that “worst” side of Ka’r’ika/Reader. 

But honestly, I LOVE that in a character! A character who can be selfish yet selfless, bad yet good. People are complicated- so shouldn’t characters be as well? Ka’r’ika/Reader has created so many personas, so many masks, to survive. But as we will soon learn, she never settled for just “survival.” She fought to thrive, even in the most terrible situations. While a kind and childlike nature rests at her core, she has an equally selfish, self-destructive, and ruthless nature she fights against.

My absolute favorite chapter so far is Chapter 7 (“Kids, Cover Your Ears”), because not only do we get to see protective, Soft Din™️, but MC actually lets her guard down enough to forget herself and let us see her. Like when she reluctantly keeps her mouth shut “for the children”. Or when Kuill mentions her past and we see her struggle internally before running into Din, and for a split second, not keep up the walls she’s built around herself. Peak characterization, I say!!!! *shakes fist at the sky*

Chapter 7 was SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE! The “fight” scene was written all in one sitting at 3AM during a hyper-fixation session. I felt barely human once I was finished with it lolllll! Ka’r’ika/Reader’s weakness is certainly children. Children bring out the best in her- and again, we’ll be learning more about that soon. ;) But, even though Ka’r’ika/Reader thinks she’s this infallible, unreadable person, she’s actually pretty bad at keeping the “persona”, the “walls” up when she’s caught off guard or called out.

I hope this is all making sense😂 When you asked what we remember your writing by, for me, it’s that—characters that are more layered than any onion or ogre in existence😂

JHAHSHSHS THAT’S THE BEST COMPLIMENT EVER- A SHREK QUOTE HECC YEAAAAAA lol (And honestly, characters are the reason I write! I have SUCH extensive stories that intertwine for everyone! I even have backstories written for characters like Irea! lolllll)

I admit I’ve flipped through your amazing fic countless times! (and reread the part where Din tells those people to let her go👀, when she wakes up and is finally honest with him, when he tells her to stay—gosh, my heart—😭).

You are AMAZING!!!! Please keep at it becauee you’ve got insane talent and I love your story!

Jshdsjdh I’M ALWAYS AMAZED WHEN PEOPLE RE-READ MY FIC AAAYYEEEEEEE Thank you so much! 

And let’s just say if you loved Din in that “let her go” scene, you’ll L O V E chapter 9!! And if you think the conversation where he tells her to “stay” is good, JSHSHDSHD WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THE ENDING SCENE OF CHAPTER 9 SODHDHHS I CAN’T WAAAAIITTTTT.

But seriously, thank you for this amazing and lovely comment. I’ve had a miserable week, and this REALLY brightened it, dear! 🥺❤️

-------

Send an ask telling me what the one thing is you remember me for as a writer. Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization? Anything!