I'm not one to make unwanted comments on people's art or send them stupid asks about this shit but sometimes I really do see some amazing art in whatever technical sense and I'm like "Wow I'd love to engage with this if you actually drew the fat character fat"
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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time
I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world
And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with
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i can't fucking do this anymore man
the one dude I looked up to the person that inspired me to plan and someday maybe make my own analog horror or arg turned out to be a fucking Terrible person is this a curse???
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Too bad now you have to give recs of "hero goes down on the clueless heroine and she’s like wow thanks that was AMAZING, can women do that to men too? 🤔 " haha
I love the clueless heroine going down on the hero, she has no idea what she is doing but her eagerness makes it a 10, Best blow job of my life 🤌🏻
@hptriviachamp posts every time the latter thing happens with a very apt meme that makes me laugh every time (IT AIN'T MUCH BUT IT'S HONEST WORK)
I can't remember a lot of PARTICULAR moments, but for these moments or this vibe:
You should definitely try Elisa Braden for this vibe. Mooost of her heroines are virgins (honestly: too many of them for me lol, I do need a bit more variation) and they're often all "WHAT'S THIS BUTTON DO" about sex. Her Midnight in Scotland series is really good. I think The Taming of a Highlander is the one where the hero is like "THERE'S NO WAY IT'LL FIT. WE MUSTN'T." and she's like "la la la it grows exponentially bigger when I look at it, I suppose I shall attempt to stuff it in la di da" blase about it.
One Good Earl Deserves a Lover by Sarah MacLean, one of her best. The heroine's a scientist who initially gets the hero to teach her about sex only! Verbally! Before graduating to physically! Also! She's very "if he'd let me study his penis with a magnifying glass I would" in nature. I also really enjoy the scene where he eats her out, comes in his pants, and immediately afterward is caught when his buddy stumbles in like "hey where do we keep th--OH. SORRY."
The Duke Gets Desperate by Diana Quincy doesn't have this scene/a totally clueless heroine, but it does have a scene where the hero is like "my dick is trying to make friends with your pussy" so there's that.
And in the same sense, because I fucking know these authors are friends and there's no way this was a total coincidence... Frankie in Mila Finelli's Mafia Mistress & Mafia Darling is NOT a virgin by any means. But when she and Fausto make it official, they do immediately roleplay him deflowering her as if she has literally never seen a dick in her life and it's HILARIOUS. Like these are DEEPLY COMMITTED people going "oh no! what's that????" "it's my dick! it's trying to say hello!" and I. Die. Not only because it's very funny, but because it actually makes their relationship more authentic to me. That's the kind of shit you only do with someone you deeply trust lmao.
Grace Callaway is gonna give you this vibe. Not all of her heroines are virgins, but the ones who are... often are precocious... and will like stuff their mouths with the hero's dick like they're doing the chubby bunny challenge.... The Duke Who Knew Too Much comes to mind because he's like "NO WAIT STOP THERE'S CRIME AFOOT" but she's already going for it.
Speaking of, Elizabeth Hoyt's Duke of Pleasure always deserves cred for the singular moment in which the hero and (virgin, grew up as a street rat dressed as a boy) heroine are investigating crime and some evildoers come upon them and he's like "quick just pretend you're blowing me" and she does start like, a mild actual beej while he's telling the guys "PLEASE LEAVE I'M GETTING BLOWN BY MY DOXY~" but after the guys leave he's all "so you can stop" and she's like "no no no I'm going somewhere with this". This one is special to me because he makes her spit into his fancy handkerchief after and I promise that even if he didn't know it that's when he decided to marry that girl.
I would say How to Marry a Marquess is one you should check out--by Stacy Reid. It's a classic "brother's best friend teaches me how to be sexy and then things get Really Outta Hand" book. I also really liked this one scene in it when his whole "let me teach you what dudes are into" thing leads to him like, eating her out in a moving carriage and when the carriage stops he does an entire "EGADS" jump off of her.
I need to reread The Lady Gets Lucky, but that's a rake meets virgin sex lessons book, and I have to think based off the scene I remember where he's like 30 seconds away from coming just from watching her lick her lips, there's a lot happening.
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Starmora is still canon, stop sinking your own ship
I'm not sure why people are mad or sad about the way Gunn "ended" the Starmora relationship? It's not over, it just went through a natural resting point after all of the stuff that happened in the plot???
Because even if the characters don't share a screen anymore, that doesn't mean it's over. That doesn't mean that love can't happen twice. Gunn has laid the groundwork - you can see it if you're looking at the characters.
Gamora has always been subtle. but she commits. She puts her whole traumatized heart into something if she believes that it's the right thing. She was raised by Freaking Thanos - she was (kinda) fine with him killing half the population but when Ronan wanted All of Xandar killed she Bolted. Betrayed Ronan and by proxy Thanos and Nebula.
After Endgame, she knows how to reach the Guardians if she wanted to. Heck, she's been talking with Nebula who respects that enough to only bring her on a mission that could kill a Guardian and end their found family.
About 75% of Gamora's lines are her denying that she's the same person. She's clearly pissed as hell that Peter is trying to "bring her back" when it's clear to her that she's fine without the Guardians.
At the end of the movie, if she wanted to be on the same team as Peter, she would have stayed on Knowhere. If she never wanted to see Peter again, she wouldn't have said anything.
By saying "I bet we were fun" its a signal to both Peter AND the audience that she is fine to stay in contact. That she acknowledges that her love with Peter could happen again.
As for Peter...
Peter loves HARD. He's never been subtle about it. He's never been subtle about feelings; happy, sad, angry, romantic - he boosts them up and uses them as a distraction, makes others think he's not sharp as an arrow.
He values Gamora's choices. We see him flirting at Knowhere, she pulls a knife on him and he doesn't directly flirt again for a while. You see that in Vol 2 when he's patient about her having feelings. He SHOT HER in Infinity War because she told him to. She's dead but she knows - she knows that's love.
We know he respects her choices in all situations...except in Vol 3. He's more childish and clingy especially compared to the other Guardians - they don't try as hard as Peter does to get her back. I feel like this is justified; he's already heavily traumatized from Infinity War and as acknowledged in the movie(!) Peter is dependent on Gamora in a way that the other Guardians aren't.
And with Vol 3, he's lost that part of him. He just wants "his Gamora" back. And it's cringy and sad and messed up.
You can parallel it to Thanos, who just saw "his little one", a daughter he trained to be a weapon and didn't acknowledge as a person. You can parallel it to the High Evolutionary, who wants his creations "perfect" and only sees Rocket as a failure that needs to be utterly destroyed.
(yeah it's a theme, its kickass writing, it's *chefs kiss* thank you mr. Gunn for tying this all up with a big fancy bow)
Peter is stronger than both of them. Able to move past what he thinks he needs and see Gamora as she is now instead of as he wants her to be.
"Like you wouldn't believe." He finally has something in his past that is complicated but at the end of the day, he can smile about it. An ending he can be at peace with.
Both of them know that they are not the same people that met on Xandar outside the pawn broker's shop. Fighting over their ticket out from under Yondu and Thanos.
But they know they could be good to each other again. It's just going to take some time apart.
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