hello, lovely! is it okay to request a short fic wherein gojoās pregnant wife (y/n) stole his kikufuku? thank u! (missing soft gojo hours š)
š. š§šØšš: omg stoooop this is so cute and sweet, what!?
ā¹ ššØš§ššš§šš¬: Gojo x pregnant afab/fem! reader - tooth-rotting fluff - pet names (angel, baby, stars and moon, sweetheart) - Gojo being a big crybaby over sweets - so soft, i was smiling while writing, hehe~.
ā¹ š°šØš«š ššØš®š§š: 1.1k
THUD!
āā¦!ā You jolt, immediately looking to the entrance of the living room to see your husband. āGojo! You okay?ā
The white-haired man stands still with a gawked expression, eyes covered by his black blindfold with his usual Jujutsu Tech attire, and you can assume the noise came from the souvenir bags he dropped to the floor.
āā¦Y/n, my angelic stars and moon,ā he finally speaks after a few seconds of silence, and you can see his lips quiver with trembling hands. āIsā¦Is that my last kikufuku?āĀ
If there is one thing Gojo loved more than anything other than you, it would be his undying love for sweets! You could never find him without any at his disposal; heād have a bunch of lollipops in his pockets, be licking popsicles or soft serves while monitoring his first years during their missions, or typically stop by a cafĆ© and grab some crepes for dessert to take home and share with you. Heās known to have a childish heart, and sweets are his weakness!
His all-time favorite would be the mochi delicacy he often gets during his mission trips to Sendai, and heās always sure to buy a whole box worth to make the long trip up North worth it. Kikufuku, the crushed edamame and cream-filled mochi, is Gojoās favorite sweet to eat ā youāre a witness to him happily stuffing his face with them lying on the couch after a hard dayās work. Heās the type to eat one every week until he can return to Sendai and get more.Ā
This week was the very last one he had saved, secured in the cold fridge for him to eat once he got home. And he wasnāt going to Sendai anytime soon, so he planned on treasuring and savoring it the moment he stepped inside and lay beside his pregnant partner to chill on this blissful spring evening.
He could never get over the sight of you whenever he came home. Gojo loved his partner so much that he swears he would burn the world if you commanded him to, which you knew is an exaggeration, but his love is true. The day he got on one knee and heard you say yes to his proposal was the happiest heād ever been, sweeping you off your feet, putting you in your dream puffy white dress, and officially becoming the spouse of the strongest sorcerer in the jujutsu world! And now you were swole with his child!? Not even God could strike this man to calm him down of his glee.
You were sitting on the living room couch like you always did, waiting for your husband to return, wearing a black maternity one-piece that comfortably molded around your figure and a blue flannel shirt ā his flannel ā to keep you warm. Gojo came home with souvenirs to share and impress, a huge smile just from thinking about your reactions.Ā
However, the sight has him gasp dramatically loud and drop everything to the wooden floor, because he saw something in your hand, something that broke his heart noticing the green and white filling apparent from a bite on an undeniable white rice cake.Ā
You were eating the very last of his kikufukuā¦How could you!?
You blinked at him, then turned to the sweet in your hand, and the realization of what you were doing finally hit you. āOh! Iām sorry, Satoru! I was feeling snacky.ā
The tall man teeters to where youāre sitting, whining with every step. āSo why didnāt you eat your snacks, sweetheart?ā
āI donāt know?ā You shrugged, licking bits of the edamame cream off your middle finger. āThey didnāt seem like what I was craving for. I wanted something sweet, ya know? And I finished my ice cream two nights ago, so this was all I could find.ā
āYeah, but like,ā you can tell his eyebrows were scrunched together even if the black material concealed his upper face. āThat was my last one, baby! Plus, you couldāve texted me youād eat it, or I couldāve stopped somewhere to grab you something sweet!ā
āI know! But, you were very busy today; a big mission up in Kyoto and a meeting with Principal Yaga, soooā¦ā you squished the mochi gently, licking more of the filling coming out. āI didnāt wanna interrupt or bother youā¦ā
āBut stilllll~!āGod, you were so cute when you cared for him, you almost made him forget the whole thing then and there. But you canāt hate the man for being a little upset, right? Gojo sighs and places his cheek on your belly. āLittle booger, you hear what your momma is doing to me? So cruel~.ā
You gasped. āHey! Donāt say that to them!ā Your free hand tries to yank him off your tummy by the hair, yet he doesnāt budge as he exclaims painfully. āWhat, are you saying the pregnant love of your life is some villain because they ate one of your sweets? As if I never caught you taking scoops of my favorite ice cream!? Have you no shame, Gojo Satoru!ā
He swats your hand off his snowy hair, āIām sorry, Iām sorry!ā Between you and Principal Yaga, there is a scarce few Gojo would allow to beat him up for his foolishness. He turns his head ā still above the baby ā to face you and releases a sigh. āIām sorry, I was just really stoked Iād get to have that kikufuku; itāll be a long while before I go get moreā¦Ughhh.ā Another sigh is exerted, and you can only shake your head with rolled eyes. Heās such a baby.
You bring his blindfold down to his chin to free the azure eyes heās been hiding since this morning, and his hair falls from its spiky appearance. Then, you separate the mochi into two and push one to his lips, āYou happy now?ā You say with a grin. āIām sorry, but I wanted to give these a try. Besides, weāll have a little one to look after soon; wouldnāt it be nice for them to know what their father likes to snack on from time to time?ā
Now, how in the world could Gojo still be upset with that logic? Being a father is a foreign concept heās accepting with open arms, sharing the experience with the person he values and cherishes the most. To have a child with you is the highest honor of all for him. And imagining his small family happy and eating sweets together under his care makes his cheeks show a subtle shade of pink.
He smiles as he accepts the piece of the rice cake, chuckling when you flick his nose playfully. āYouāre so sweet, angel.ā
Ā© ššØš¬š”š¢š š«šš²2024 ā reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ā© dividers by @/benkeibear.
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puppy ~ charles leclerc
requested by anon: Hi lovely, can I please request something with Charles adopting a puppy with his girlfriend, I just can't get over how cute leo is šš«¶š»
a/n: so sorry it took me so long!!
my masterlist
ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”
You loved your boyfriend.
Charles loved you.
You were living the life that people could only dream of living. Living with him in Monaco in a shared apartment, you traveled all around the world with him, you had a flexible job. You had everything you could ever want.
Then why did it feel like something was missing?
As you looked around your apartment, the place felt empty.
You got that feeling every time Charles would leave for a race and you wouldnāt be able to join him.
Everything was silent, so peaceful. You loved it most of the time, being a nice change from your otherwise very hectic lifestyle, but it would sometimes become suffocating, being there by yourself.
Which is what you would tell Charles whenever he would call and you would be feeling down.
He had been away for Japan this time, your university classes holding you back in Monaco for the time being. He had called you as soon as he was done with the race, instantly feeling your sadness on the other end of the phone.
āMon chĆ©rie, I can tell youāre not okayā he said, imagining you pouting on the other end of the phone.
āAmour, Iāve told you, Iām okay. Uni is just kicking my ass and my boss is being a jerk more than usualā you said, forcing out a chuckle.
Technically, you werenāt lying. Uni always got more stressful than usual as the summer break was approaching, and it was sometimes hard balancing it out with your job, but that wasnāt the reason behind your sour mood.
You had had time to reflect on your dilemma and had finally come to a conclusion.
You guys needed a puppy.
āMon ange, you know I donāt like it when you try to lie to me. Whatās going on?ā he pressed, wanting to make you feel better by any means necessary, even if he was halfway across the world at the moment.
You sighed, closing your eyes and tilting your head back so it was resting on the couch.
Maybe you should have waited to tell him in person, but you figured that he would have more time to reflect on it until he got home.
āWe need a puppyā you blurted out.
It was silent on his end for a few seconds. You immediately regretted saying it, your brain started to malfunction.
That was until you heard his sweet laugh through the phone, making your nerves slightly less consuming.
āYou scared me so much, amour. Is that what your moping around has been about? Adopting a puppy?ā his laughter had now died down, his tone being replaced with a gentle one.
āI just - it feels like there is something missing. Weāre happy, we have a very spacious apartment for just the two of us and I get really lonely when I canāt join you for racesā you explained, now pacing around the living room as you made your case to your boyfriend over the phone.
Charles listened to your rambling with a smile on his face. He knew how much you loved pets, especially dogs. You had grown up in a house full of them, going crazy over every dog you would bump into on the street.
He loved watching you interact with them, seeing you care for them even if they werenāt your own.
Which is why he had been planning to surprise you with your very own puppy once he got back from Japan.
Joris had taken care of everything, lying to you every time you would get suspicious or whenever he felt like he was about to be discovered.
But luckily for him, you did not suspect a thing.
āMon ange, why didnāt you say something sooner? You know I would love nothing more than to adopt a puppy with you and grow our familyā he said, already mentally coming up with the best plan to surprise you when he got home.
You sighed, realizing that you had been worrying for nothing. You knew Charles loved pets, and you had always talked about adopting one in the future, so why had you been so nervous to bring it up with your boyfriend?
Nobody knew, really.
āHow about we talk some more when you get home? I donāt think this is a conversation to have on the phoneā you chuckled, not wanting to delve into the topic too deep.
He agreed, wishing you a good night before he hung up.
But, despite what he had told you, he didnāt go to sleep. No, there were more important matters to be handled. Like figuring out a way to surprise you with your new puppy without getting detected.Ā
He thought it over and over again, and the only answer that he came up with was picking up the dog on his way home from the airport from Joris. He figured there was no need to complicate things, you didnāt like complicated stuff.
The next day, you had woken up to a text from Charles telling you his plane would land in a few minutes time and that there was no need for you to pick him up from the airport as Joris had agreed to give him a lift.
You didnāt think anything of it, Charles always having made it clear you would never have to drive him anywhere, you were his passenger princess.
Figuring he would be hungry when he got back, you got started on a simple but filling breakfast, Charlesā favorite breakfast that you made when he would get back from good race weekends. You put on some music and started cooking, not even noticing the time passing by quickly.
You were in your own little world when you heard the front door open and close, calling out your boyfriendās name.
āCharles? Iām in the kitchenā you called out into the hallway, returning to flipping the last of your pancakes before turning off the stove.
Charles didnāt say anything, afraid not to disturb the small puppy nestled in his arms and prompt it to start barking. He had discarded his luggage by the door, now only holding the little dog and slowly walking over to the kitchen.
He could have sworn that your reaction to seeing the puppy was priceless and forever imprinted into his brain. The way your eyes lit up and filled with tears upon seeing him was nothing like he had ever seen before.
āYou did notā you said, too shocked to even move from your spot.
āI did. Iāve been secretly arranging some things in order to adopt this little guy. We were supposed to get him in a couple of weeks, but when you told me yesterday that you wanted a puppy, I figured I would speed things up a little bitā he explained, walking over to you.
You cooed once he got close enough, gently taking the puppy from him and nuzzling his little body to your chest. There were no words to describe how you felt holding your new dog, the amount of love you already felt for such a little human being.Ā
The little dachshund puppy looked up at you, its deep brown eyes already having you wrapped around his little finger. You nuzzled your nose with his, internally screaming because of how cute he was.
āWhatās his name?ā you asked, not even looking away from the little guy.
Charles chuckled, knowing your reaction was exactly what he had been expecting from you. Already doting on the little dog nestled in your arms, like you had had him forever.
āLeo. Leo Leclercā he answered, watching your eyes light up even more.
āLeoā you whispered, looking down at the newest addition to your little family. āWelcome to the Leclerc family, Leoā
You spent another minute or two gazing at the dog, Charles not moving an inch from his spot as he admired you interacting with the dachshund. He knew, in those moments as he watched you interacting with the dog, that you were the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with.
āIāve never loved you as much as I love you in this momentā you told him, shuffling closer to him and stretching your neck so you can press a lingering kiss on his lips.
āI love you tooā
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I've decided to contribute to the Miguel nation even though I was almost a year late
I present to youā¦. Brother's best friend! Miguel! A drabbleā¦. (Might turn this into a full fic idk)
Cw: Brother's best friend trope, grammatical errors, fem reader, possibly OOC Miguel, this is more like a flashback really since it's focus is more on Miggy and reader's childhood, this is kinda long wth š
Bbf! Miguel who has been friends with your brother since middle school, would often play in your brother's room when they were younger. As typical boys do, they'd play video games. He doesn't mind when you want to join them. He finds it endearing whenever you try to put your stuffed animals on the Legos they built, claiming they're people or something like that.
Bbf! Miguel who defends little you whenever some mean kids try to bully you, is taller than the average kid, making him intimidating. When this happens, he stands behind the bullies, towering over them with a menacing glare and arms folded. All he has to do is say something like "scram" or "leave," and the kids your age run away. Then, when you're feeling sad or upset, he treats you to ice cream to cheer you up.
Bbf! Miguel who helps you pull pranks on your brother, sometimes heād be surprised you were able to pull off a bit extreme pranks but heād be happy to do it for shits and giggles.
Bbf! Miguel who helps patch up your wounds whenever you have a little accident in the midst of pulling a prank on your brother all while speaking to you in the gentlest of ways to calm you down. "can you get up? no? All alright I'll carry you thenā Your eleven-year-old mind panics when he easily carries you.
Bbf! Miguel who defends you against your older brother, Leo, gets into an argument whenever he can, Leoās older, and can handle himself, while you are 4 almost 5 years younger than them and therefore helps you whenever he can, itās just not fair sometimes.
He stood by the side of Leoās room, witnessing the fight between you and your brother, 13-year-old Leo yelling at you for breaking his model aeroplane. āI Told you not to come in here without my permission!ā Leo huffed, āIām sorry! I-I just want to look at itā You defended yourself but Leo wasnāt having it,ā Well now look at it! Itās broken!ā little you are almost on the brink of tears, thatās when he stepped in. ācome on now, the wing is the only one thatās broken, Iām sure we can fix it,ā he said, trying to cool down the argument, Your brother stormed out of his room to cool off leaving you with Miguel āAre you okay Chiquita?ā he asked and you shook your head a small sniffle escaped you as you try to justify yourself āI didnāt mean itā little you murmured as you look up at him with teary eyes, he sighed as he took the broken plane and its wing āhey, itās okay yeah? Leo just needs to cool off, with the help of a super glue Iām sure we can fix thisā he reassured you with a little ruffle on your head and grabbed the super glue to fix the broken model plane with his best friendās little sister.
Bbf! Miguel got his heart broken for the first time because the girl heās been crushing didnāt like him back because he was ātoo nerdyā for her liking, Leo brought it up during dinner when your mom asked how your day went and you were saddened for him, who wouldnāt like Miguel? Heās kind, understanding, and funny, he may be too intimidating because of his more-than-average height but thatās his outside appearance! Heās really sweet on the insideā¦ waitā¦. Why are you thinking like that about him? Nevermind that.
Bbf! Miguel showed up the next day at your house since he and Leo needed to finish a project thatās due tomorrow, eyes puffy and a bit dishevelled from crying, you felt bad despite your brother calling him out that he looks like shit. Miguel didnāt deserve this, so you, the ever loving little sister of his best friend decided to go buy something for him.
Bbf! Miguel who walked out of your house to head home since the project theyāve been working on is finished, āMiguel!ā you called out to him with a small paper bag in hand, you catch up to him panting heavily, have you been running? You held out the small paper āUmm.... Iām sorry about what happened yesterdayā¦ Leo told meā¦ I mean he told mom when she asked how our day wentā you rumbled, you were too busy making sure the treat in your hand stayed warm that you havenāt thought about what to say to him! āā¦ anyways theseareforyouIhopeyoufeelbetter'' you said rather too quickly and before he could say anything you ran away and inside your house too flustered to face him, he took a peek inside the bag and a small smile was painted on his lips, warm empanadas from his favourite store, oh how sweet of youā¦
Bbf! Miguel who's taken the rejection to heart, maybe much of a nerd after all and that needed to change, so day by day he changed himself, no longer wearing those thick-framed glasses instead he opted for contact lenses, the baggy shirt that has corny science jokes were now nowhere to be seen and he's even doing a little workout to build his tall lanky body, of course, this was never unnoticed to you, who wouldn't notice your brother's best friend slowly gaining muscle and lean body type? You're happy for him of course but a part of you hoped that he did it because he wanted to and not because he's pressured by society's views of him, you like the nerd him? he's cute!
Bbf! Miguel who's never seen you so down in the dumps before, usually your beams and silliness can rival the sun itself but now you're gloomier than the night sky. He asked your brother about it and he didn't expect the reason for your sudden gloominess.
āAh, she's just upset because no one gave her a Valentine's giftā your brother nonchalantly said as he played on his computer, his series of curses from losing the game was blurred out and in his peripheral vision, he only saw you, without saying any word he left your brother's room and approached you. You can hear the low vibrato of his voice as he approaches you āHeyā he greeted and sat down beside you āYou okay?ā he asked with his usual gentleness and you looked at him āI don't knowā¦ do I look okay?ā you mumbled sassily which took him aback but sighed āIā¦ I don't even know why I'm upset, it's just a silly day, it's not even a holiday! it's just a stupid day to have an excuse to ask your crush out or chow down chocolatesā you mumbled bitterly, really it's a childish thing to be upset about something small like this, but Miguel didn't think so, no, heās been there and he knows how it feels, Miguel didn't say anything but pats your head gently, his way to console you.
Bbf! Miguel who had surprised you on a random Friday afternoon with a box of your favourite chocolate and a pink coloured rose āHereā he said as he handed you the gifts, your eyes widened in surprise but took them āWhat's with this?ā you asked but he shrugged in response āFor youā he didn't show but it was amusing to him (and kinda cute) to see the sparkle in your eyes shine although it was short-lived āyou didn't have to do this you know?ā you mumbled, as much as you appreciated his effort you didn't want him to do that out of pity, again your brother's best friend shrugged āItās not out of pity, it's for you, pink roses for appreciation" and that got you thinking āappreciation? for what? what did I do?ā you asked him genuinely curious as to why ājust existing, we've known each other for years-ā ābut I'm not your best friendā you cut him off āwho said you have to be my best friend for me to show you my appreciation?ā he asked you and in turn you weren't able to say anything, too surprised to utter a single word. He called your name softly, āI appreciate you, not because you're Leo's sister, but my friend, one of the closest, as embarrassing as it sounds but I cannot deny the truth, you have a certain charm I'm drawn to, you make me smile easily, you understand me, and don't tell Leo about this but at least with you I'm slightly more comfortableā he said with a small smile.
Before you could say anything Leo called out Miguel's name and he left right after, a hand on your chest to ease the beating of your heart and butterflies on your stomach. And in that moment, you realized you had fallen for your brother's best friend.
----
Omg why is posting stuff online so anxiety inducing?! Anyways Likes and reblogs are highly appreciated! If you have feed backs I'm more than eager to hear them (just be kind please) š©·
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āWho said i needed anything about saving?
Enemies to lovers
Gojo satoru x fem!reader
ā>šššššššš:Your life always has been a quiet yet complicated place to deal with but it has never been to difficult to get through.But all it took was one spoil arrogant brat to ruin it.you never really liked Him nor enjoyed his presence,everything about him gave warningās.Almost every time you saw each other you two would have something to say to each other,not just with words.
*Also reader has a little brother and both are 16 years old.
ā>šššššššš:Cuss words, in later chapters bullying,toxic behavior/relationships, trauma,Violence. (i suck at this stuff š)
wordcount: 4.1K
Just like any otherĀ Ā day in this life,you have to get up really early in morning to get your little brother Jayden to school and for you to be on time at yours as well.You were awake by your phone alarm clock at 5am in the morning.You immediately started doing your routine in your crappy little apartment building.Ā
You were just 8 years old when your parents left you and your little brother to rot.You had to sacrifice everything for you and your brother to have an opportunity in life to even make it alive. When they left you already knew that your life would be more difficult than other children your age.Ā
It been 8 year has passed since they left.
Now living in an crappy apartment with not the best living environment for your 8 year old brother is all you would afford but at least you could give Jayden a roof over his head.
You promise to be the best person he could ever have,and be there when you guys parents werenāt there.You wanted to make sure that he get to live a normal life.
You were rubbing your eyes to adjust to the darkness of your shared bedroom.You walked towardsĀ Ā your bathroom taking a quick 15 minutes shower.You put on your high-school uniform and your hoodie as well.You already did (well try to make your hair look well put) your hair and brush your teeth because it gotten a bit of an habit of not eating anything in the morning.
You had /y/hair/Color/Ā Ā long hair that was kinda fuck up.If you could recall you look more of your father,you had his eyes.But the only difference is that you had big eyes bags.Your eyes are most lifeless but once in an while your eyes will light up.Your body is skin is rough around the edges.You had a lot of cuts and bruises from over the years,some heal and some didnāt heal. You got over it.
While your brother Jayden had a mix of your guys mom and dadās hair color.He eyes were full of light and excitement something that made you go determine to continue to push yourself to provide him.He made such soft looking skin and chubby cheeks that him like an adorable hamster.He also has a few bruises but heal quickly.Heās very smart for a 8 year old boy.Ā
Checking the time on your phone to make sure you had enough time to walk Jayden to school and to yours as well.
It was 5:15 AM so it perfectly time for you to get that little adorable shit head up.Ā
You softly nudge Jaydenās arm into a rocking motion.Ā
āJay come onā¦wake up you have school todayā.
ā5 n-minutes more..pleaseā you move him more in an instant.
āIf you donāt wake up I wonāt get your favorite snack later in the afternoonāyou said in a mocking of sincerely voice as you ruffled his hair.
āFinneee geezzāHe said in a sleepy and sassy voice as he rise off from his bed.
As you already knew that he was already getting up and in a matter of seconds in the shower and thought out the way heād mumbled about hating to wake up.Ā
You quietly chuckled at his response,As you went into the small living room as you gather the both of your stuff ready for you two to walk to his school.
You caught the fridge to see if there anything that you could feed him with something before he goes to school.To only find that there nothing in there but rotten vegetables in there.
You mentally groanĀ Ā at yourself for forgetting about the food shortage.In which you knew that you were going to have spend more time out of your study time to get groceries for the house.Ā
You check your phone to see the time was 5:27 AM it was the time that you would know that Jayden would be coming out and dressing up and already done. As you walked to the room but right the when you were about to open the door your little brother storms out of the room.Ā
āIām doneeee!!ā Jayden speaks with his little child sing along voice.In which his little chubby cheeks pauses as he look up at you knowing that he doesnāt smell anything at all like he would normally have.
āHello?(____) is there breakfast?ā He says with such sass that you just roll your eyes.Ā
āNo there isnāt,so that why Iām trying to get out the house so I can get you something to eat dummyā You said in a soft yet playful tone.knowing that you had to resist to say a curse word.
āYour the biggest bumbassā Jaydenās says with an eye roll;he just walk pass you and put on his backpack.You were clenching your fist at his response,you knew that he had learn these words from you.But it wasnāt your fault you just gotten the use of saying cruse words atĀ Ā shit that made you feel annoyed when your alone.Ā
āFUCK ME!! urghhh who the fuck makes math this difficult to understandā Or times where you quietly mumble shit under your breath thinking no one would heard. āI hate that stupid fucking bitch. . .who the fuck does she think fucking dumbassā
So you couldnāt argue with him about the cursing part.
āalright let go right nowāYou voiced out as Jayden just nodded in response while walking with you out the door.Normally the reason you walked early is that you didnāt have to worry about the cracks head that would be active in the morning.Ā
The morning breeze is always nice while walking;You and Jayden quietly and quickly walked through the exit of the apartment building.You lived in the fuck up part of the cityās,Streets being filled with trash or drugs or bottles.Everywhere would be filled with garbage and homeless people that were violent.
Especially when walking here that in middle of night you would get paranoia of someone walking behind you.Ā
Ā But you try to not get that inside your head because you didnāt need that right now,you didnāt need that extra stress.While the way down to the you check your bank account if youāre going to be able to get the groceries and to be able to pay the rent and everything else.Ā
Wind blowing softly at the tress that surrounds your walk way.You and Jayden weāre both in comfort silence.But you wanted to break the silence.
āSo how school treating you?ā You said in the mist quiet looking down at Jayden dark WellCare hair.Ā
āGood,but I have a question sis?ā Jayden ask in the comfortable silence,he child like voice ring through your ears,you quietly mumble in response.Questioning whether he was asking something about his school or yours.
You guys were running in good time it was already 5:59Am and you guys were already half way there to jayden schools but there a store near there that you know would be open this early morning.Ā
The sky starts to form its raising shine,into the beautiful sun rise;cloud turning pinkish with hints of blue in there.It was always nice to see it.But it at times it just an reminder of people are now awake and ready to go make noises with their cars or with their voices.Ā
āWhat would you do if I were to leave you like mama and papaāĀ
āā¦āyou took inĀ Ā breath because you knew that an 8 year old shouldnāt be thinking stuff like that but stuff about video games,sports,trending shit etc but this caught you off guard, I mean what would you expect from someone who lives in this non-stainable life hold.
So you played it off with a playful tone hiding up the anxiety.
āWhy would you leave me alone after all I do be getting your Sweet snackĀ Ā you little shit and I mean with you being this slow at walking you wouldnāt get this far from meā You said with an playful tone,and your lips forming an sly smirk.You quickly pulled Jayden towards the small food store.
āHEY! Iām not Slow at all,and for a fact Iām the fastest guy in my classāĀ
āSure buddy anyway you pick something to eatĀ Ā for breakfastā
āI am,Fineee whatever bumbassā he said as he went quickly around the store and pick out a doughnut and two cookies.As he rushed towards the cashier who chuckled at his actions,It was an old lady with would always give you some sweet every time you pass by here.Ā
āOhh you most be very excited to go to school little manā the elder women said in a warm voice.
āYepp!ā Jayden says with a cheeky grin,showing his dimples.As you went over there to greet the elderly womenĀ
āHere you also keep the change asā You said in a sleepy voice.giving the women the money.Ā
āNo it ok you can have it for free it been so long since Iāve got to see someone with such a good willingnessā the elderly women says with a warmth in her voice.
Jayden immediately says āthanks youu for Being so kindā,as you gave her a small soft smile on her face.You said your thanks and went off with continuing your walk with Jayden.
You check your phone and what time it is 6:03am and you gave Jayden his stuff to eat it.You quickly grab his pack bag.
āNow quickly eat this weāre about to get to your schoolā
āYea,yea I knowā He said as he roll his big little eyes.Now stuffing his doughnut into his mouth without a care in the world.
Now there weāre going to cross the road,Making it across the road swiftly.While holding Jayden hands,only a few more steps and then your at Jayden school.
āSis here I donāt think Iāll eat the other cookie right nowāĀ
āNuh im good,keep it for later for lunchāĀ
āBut,I know you didnāt eat anything for breakfast today so hereāĀ
āIām ok little shit no need to worry about me,weāre literally only a few steps from reaching your schoolāĀ
āUghhh I hate you bumbassā¦sometimesā Jaydenās says as he walks more ahead of you,you easily reach his speed.
You guys made it.
It wasnāt the best schools you could have found but it was sort of close to your highschool,and you couldnāt complain about it. Even if the interior looks like an ancient temple. You knew one of the security from the school at always come early,and he knew you as well since you would always come early as well.Ā
You look around if the security was there,before you could get worry about it.He called your name with a warm smile as always,in which he just wave back at him.As you walked toward the gate and look down at Jayden.You knew he just wanted to make sure that your ok.
āWell bye my favorite little shitā Said with a sly teasting smile,as you ruffles Jayden hair.Ā
He just grumbled underneath his mouth.Hitting your hands from his hair.
āBye my favorite big shit sisā Jayden says with a playful annoyance that you caught easily in his voice.Before you could say anything he ran toward the security guy who said good morning to him or something.
You just waved goodbye to Jayden and him.Now rushing towards to your school,You knew it was 6:24Am and you usual made it there at 6:38 Am and it would give you 20 minutes of relief and for you to gather up an reminder check for the rest of day.
you never really enjoy leaving your little bro all alone in the morning like these but you just had to push through because if you were able to get into this nice ass highschool with all but your brain then your more then able to push your brain to getting into that dream college that wasnt any by mean easy to get in.Ā
Right now your in The corner of the library with few other students that were probably more interested studying then talking.Yeah you were one of them but it was better for you to stay focus on your study then get distracted.Ā
From the corner of your eye you see two students coming your way,They talking loudly about something that you couldnāt help but listen to as well.
"There three new kids coming starting today,their said to be close friends and on the top of that their rich."
"Wait really,i heard from someone it was just one new kid and is said to be like an hottie,especially with white hair and blues eyes."
"NOW that makes ten timesĀ Ā worth my time to see them in person,I just hope this isn't some shitty rumor." said the girls that finally left your ear hearing reach,you just rolled your eyes.Because of course if their anything about being in a nice school, people with money could get into anything they want without care of those who tried their everything be here.
And that makes you make rich folk because it take a flick of green in front of someone and they do whatever they want.You been on the board on number one since you started the school year.
You got up from the librairy; collecting everything in the process and putting it in your backbag. Walking to your first class of the day.Still having a lingering thought of Jaydenās question earlier this morning.
'Of course he knows how to make you overthink'
You huff a quiet laugh as you walk back around the building swiftly in speed making it on 5 minutes early on class,to sit down on your favorite desk.Ā
Which is in the corner of the classroom that has a clear view of the window,but you werenāt exactly the desk that had the best view of the windows.But as long as it was able to give an good view you were fine.Its not the person who sitting on the desk is gonna wanna switch with you unless they want something in return ,andĀ Ā so you rather be a ghost then be the alive sunlight of attention.
One is that you werenāt looking for anyways,if you were able to manage yourself,why need friends.Two is that you really didnāt want to have anyone in your busy or start to worry about it then you needed to do.And plus especially them this rich snob school.
But you always gave them a chance and to really see how they act.
You decided to do some study for science because it the only subject that you suck a lot on,last mouth you scored on the top fourth.I mean who could blame you one that one.Ā
Whenever your on your study mood you would just ignore the sound of people talking and be in your little world ,you really couldnāt care any less of what anyone said.Ā
it was until the teacher came in,using his stern voice to grab everyone attention.
āEveryone silence and sit down right now!! We have three new students coming in so treat them with respectā His voice roaring in the classroom.Ā
As everyone quickly became silent and some were quietly whispering about the news of the new kids.
As the teacher opens the door for them to come in. As they walked into the room with welcoming smiles.Ā
One of them with white hair companied by the a black slick hair that tied into a bun and with a cute short brown bob hair girl coming here.Ā
The teacher quickly told them to introduce themselves to the classroom.The first one to go was Gojo.
āHello everyone, my name is Satoru Gojo and canāt waitttt to talk to yāall.āĀ
āHello everyone my name is Sugruu Geto and I hope we can be friendsāHe says in a polite and manner way.He voice smooth and Monotone.
āName is Shoko Lirei, to meet you guysā The girl speak in suchĀ Ā nonchalant tone.Gojo look around the room to find the girls in the room were whispering about how dreamy he looked,He was so used to the attention that he just wink at there way knowing it wouldnāt help him but it will help him with getting along with the girls.Ā
In the same time the teacher speaks to them about their seats. They were three seati88s in the middle of the room waiting to be taken.Of course they took the sits.Ā
You just think that in a few days that they would be the talk of the town.Ā
As everyone else were talking to them with such excitement and passion to know them and what their parents do for a living.While you were just staring at window looking at the birdsĀ Ā and trees.Nothing out of the ordinary.And you didnāt want to deal with anything that would make you stressful and difficult for you and your little brother.
Time skipĀ
You were walking towards your next destination which was your favorite course reading/writing.
The sound of students filling the hallways, laughter there,whisper here and there,but remotely most of them were talking.
Navigating through the crowd of students was easy after being used to the people pushing and nudging.
Listening to music with your headphones.While walking to the quarter of the school to get to the class.
āI hate these hallways and these people like can yāall be more serious and talk in a corner where youāre not bothering people who are actually trying to get to classāĀ You mutter underneath your mouth.
The windows that follow the hallways were absolutely full of nature,something that you enjoy as a little kid.The sky being full of color and shine.Walking more closely to your next course.Keeping in mind of where youāre stepping. And thenĀ
BANG
You didnāt even get an enough time to see the white hair guy,as you two collide on each-other.Blinking multiple times to regain your vision,To only get flashed by the most beautiful blue eyes you ever seen in your life.Your back touching the floor,the heat of the students eyes are watching you and gojo. You were quickly to remove yourself from the ground by pushing him away from you,the slight impact of your action made gojo completely fall on theĀ
floor.Ā
Gojo gave you an unreadable look that you couldāve easily read it if you actually cared to stay there.
You quickly mumble an apology as you retrieve your fallen stuffĀ Ā from the floor,you wanted nothing more than to be away from the attention.As you walked away you saw a particular person from the crowd,a girl with long dark brown hair with pale skin that compliments her darkĀ Ā hair.You notice her from your classes she was always quiet and reserved.You recall her waking you up to tell you that the teacher will be assigned the classroom to do online work,you appreciate that she did that.Ā
āThatās one way to make an introduction to the new kidāĀ You said to yourself.You probably came out as cold hearted but itās not like you were going to hangout with him.
And so you prepared to be in a favorable class with your music on and your signature journal with a few other students there early as well.Now only thing is waiting until class starts.
(Gojo pov)Ā
Gojo got up from the floor swiftly,from one of his best friends,preferring Getoās hand.
āWhat a bitch,jeezā I said to myself as I rolled my eye at the action only.
āWhat happened now. . Gojoā Shoko said as she now came back from whatever place she came from.Sheās look at me with a raised eye brow.
Geto looks at Shoko with a sly smile on his face.
āApparently he fell on someone while running Down the hallwayā Geto say in a calm voice,without breaking eye contact with Shoko,knowing that Gojo is getting himself tidy from the floor.Ā
āSounds like something he would do.-she nods at Getoās words-But did that idiot apologize to them for being a hyperactive childāShokos says looking at Geto and then to gojo.Knowingly that wasnāt the case.
gojo brushing off the dust of his clothes,and then fixing his white hair.The Sound of chatter ring through the hallway,but it became more noticeable that he and his friends were the ones that they were being talked about.
āAre you ok there,I saw what happened.ThatĀ Ā runaway skunk just walked away without apologizing.ā A girlĀ Ā spoke with such empathy that made it impossible for him not make groan.
Right before he could mutter a word to his friends,some girl In a dark blue jacket with a skirt on.Gojo wasnāt any dumbass to attention like this or anything like that.Her kind looking smile screamed excitement and somewhat amazed.Ā
Shoko and Geto were right behind me when they finally actually got out of their little conversation.And now they just there looking at me with a shrug.
Greatttt
āYea I very muchĀ appreciateĀ your words and your so right about that girl being such a bitch
-I was going to say sorry but guess notā He shrug in a nonchalant manner.
āNo oneās care even if you do it,Well I see that you guys are new here and I wanted to see that if we could be friendsāShe replied,looking at Gojo as if she just meant it for only him and not the two other person behind me.
āSure it not like we wonāt talk again but the name is Satoru Gojoā He added with a proud smirk on his face.Coming from behind is Geto who give the girl a warm smile as well as Shoko.Ā
āIt nice to meet you my name is Geto suruguru and the girl next to me is Shoko lieriā
āHey,helloā Shoko had responded to that,with a lolly pop in her mouth.She made a little wave gesture.Ā
āWell my name is Marina NicklousāMarina added with a small smile and a wink on her face,as she soon walked away from Gojo and geto and shoko.Ā
Geto completely ignored that,and shoko chuckles at the action,and made a small joke about Gojo being a manwhore.
āCome on,we only have a few minutes to go to classā Geto said as he looked at his phone and looked at the time and putting it back in his pocket.
Ā As they walked off.Ā
You were already having your third class of the day already feeling tried of having to walk through the large building to get to class.Ā
Assuming that it only took you a few minutes to get to your other classes.Sighing as you got up from your desk and putting away your journals in your depth of your book-bag.
You waited until a few minutes to go by to you wouldnāt be crushed by people pushing through the door.Ā
You check the time on the clock.Ā
ā11:23,one hour until it lunch time and then your freeā
You mutter underneath your breath,as a you watch the students zooming out the door.
As you walked out of the room coming first glance with Satoru Gojo.His eyes aim down at yours and he had his grin on his face before he looked your way.
You both stood there for a moment and then.He leaned over your face,Looking straight into your eyes.His white hair and blue eyes make him look like an angel that fell down here.And that look would be a useful tool to use in situations like wanting anything.You suppose.But you noticed how close he was in your face.
āDoes he not know what the hell is personal spaceā
Ā As you leaned back from his reach.Gojo looked like he was just mocking you with his height.Having to bent his head slightly down to actually look into your eyes while you have to you make your head look up to meet with his intense eye contact.
āWhats taking you so long,to apologize to me?āGojo spoke with a little annoyance.Rolling his eyes at fact you werenāt even trying to apologize for pushing him on the ground.
āJezz,youāre the one who pushed me down the least you could do right now is to use that smart head of your and apologize.ā He stated with such confidence that made you try to not roll your eyes out.
You just scoffed at his attitude,ājust like the rest of themāYou mutter something incoherent about him underneath your breath.
āIām sorry ok.now Iāll like for your big ass to move so I can go to my classā You said in cold voice, politely push him away walking away from him and now disappearing from the mist of the crowd of the hallways. It was just a little chat nothing more or nothing less than that.Ā
But Gojo got more annoyed by the lack of respect and politeness of your response.He just grumbled that youāre just a no-body who just live in a world of hate.
Not his problem he says.
An: I didnāt like how it turned out but I GOOTA PUSH THROUGH also I think Iām going make this a slow burn,but not so slow that it actually burns.I just wanted to make a reader more of a background character before she become a rival towards Gojo.But it whether how well this goes. If it hit 100 likes then Iāll continue it.
BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT
āļø
Do not copy or steal my work @sukioyakio
TAG LIST: @10yo-anon @scoobysnakz
SINCE YOU WANTED TO READ THIS HERE YOU GO SWEETIE PIE šš
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To the Flame chapter 16
Series masterlist
Pairing: Dark!Javier PeƱa x afab!reader
Chapter w/c: 3k
Chapter warnings: mentions of physical abuse, talk of suicide, manipulation, mental abuse, description of injury, controlling behavior, comfort, crying, javi being a dick, javi being "nice", reader being āØdeluluāØ, idek how to tag this shit anymore, i think i might be gaslighting myself š
Chapter Summary: You get a glimpse of the man you used to know while you try to sort out your feelings in the hospital. You're faced with a tough decision---did you make the right one?
A/N: Don't know what to say about this one. Yes, we all want to scream at reader, yes, we all want to scream at Javi. Scream at me if you'd like and I'll happily scream back š Love you babes!
******
Youāre not dead, but you really wish you were. Your body aches more heavily than it ever has. Every breath you take is a massive effort and every twitch of your fingers sends a twinge through your entire body like a shock of electricity. You donāt know whatās easierābreathing deeply or taking in shallow breaths. Deeper means that your chest has to rise and fall painfully with the movement, but shallower makes you feel like you're not getting an efficient amount of air. You donāt want to decide, so you just lay on the kitchen floor and let your body do it for you.Ā
You donāt think Javiās here with you, but you honestly could care less if he is or not. All you have to do is turn your head and look around, but you donāt think thatās possible for you right now. You can feel the way your throat has swollen and would pull tight if you tried. You just want to lay with your pain for a while and let it consume you so you donāt have to think. Though your head pounds painfully, itās the clearest itās been for weeks. You know youāll have to get up at some point, but that point is not now.Ā
You can feel every organ individually, the way they struggle to work with every second that passes. Your lungs heave and sputter as you try to suck breath into them, and youāre suddenly curious to how theyāre working at all. Thereās no way for you to tell how long you were out or how much water you consumed, but you can only assume it was close to your limit. You thought you were going to die, you really did.Ā
You have no idea how long you lay there, staring up at the ceiling, before you hear the click of the door opening, then several sets of footsteps making their way inside. Their voices are muffled by the staticy noise in your head, and you frankly donāt care enough to try to figure out whatās going on.Ā
Javiās blurry figure comes first, leaning over you as more people crowd in.Ā
āSweetheart?āĀ
His dampened voice sounds panicked. You couldnāt give less of a fuck. You know that youāre probably going to be fine at this point, but you almost wish that you werenāt just to spite him. Suddenly, the light comes on, and your head starts to pound even harder. You close your eyes.Ā
*****
When you open them again, youāre in a bed. Not yours, though, you can tell immediately. Thereās daylight in the unfamiliar room coming from the window on the other side. So you know youāve been out for a while.Ā
It takes a moment for you to remember what happenedāwhy youāre probably here. And itās with that realization that the pain returns. Itās more dull this time, immediately making you thankful for whatever meds they have you on. Just the underlying tightness throughout your body is enough for that.Ā
You blink and look around a bit, trying to scan your surroundings without moving too much. But when you spot the chair in the corner closest to youāwhoās sitting in itāyour adrenaline spikes. Javi sits up out of the chair as soon as he sees your eyes open and on him. He moves to the side of your bed and your body jerks away from him on instinct.Ā
āGet away from me,ā you bite, though your voice is so strained itās nearly incomprehensible.Ā
You can see hurt flash in his eyes for a split second, but itās quickly replaced by anger. You donāt have time to dwell on that short moment of vulnerability before he has his hands on you, trying to hold you steady as you thrash and try to yell for help. He knows you wonāt be able to muster up enough noise to be heard.Ā
āFuckinā stop and listen to me,ā he spits, and you do, letting your body go limp before it gets any worse. You lay there and look him in the eye as silent tears sting your cheeks.Ā
āYouāre going to tell them you tried to kill yourself,ā he says calmly. You donāt realize you started shaking your head until he grabs your chin and stills you. āYouāre going to say you couldnāt handle the stress of the move and you tried to drown yourself in the sink when I got home and found you.āĀ
You say nothing, because you know thereās no point. Why waste your breath and hurt your throat even more?Ā
āYou tied a scarf around your neck, attached it to a weight, and threw it into the sink.āĀ
Oh, God. It makes you want to throw up, how elaborate his lie is. That would explain the bruising on your neck. He thought of everything, covered every track. You know you must be looking at him with pure disgust, but you donāt dare change your expression. You want him to see you, what heās done to you, how heās made you feel.Ā
Thereās suddenly a knock at the door, and Javiās expression changes to something almost tender. The hand tightly gripping your face moves to cup your cheek, the other to pet your hair. You feel panic and frustration crawling under your skin, consuming your body until you think you might scream. This is your chance to get away from him, but you know you wonāt.Ā Ā
All you have to do is tell the doctor you want to speak alone, tell them whatās happening, and youāll never have to go back. But what if he didnāt believe you and you only make it worse for yourself? Or worse than that, what if he does, and youāre taken away from Javi. Exactly what you want, but also the last thing you can ever imagine happening. Heās still there, you canāt leave him. Heās still there.Ā
So, even as it crushes your soul and makes your heart jump wildly in your chest, you say nothing as Javi calls for the doctor to come in, and a man in a white coat steps inside with a clipboard. He smiles at you, his eyes full of so much pity that it makes you swallow.Ā
āGlad to see you up, honey. We were real worried for a second there.āĀ
You say nothing, just watch the doctor as Javi continues to stroke your hair, then places a kiss on your head and backs away for the man to check on you. He comes to your bedside, opposite of your husband, and places his hand on your forehead.Ā
āStill no fever,ā he mumbles to himself, jotting something down on his clipboard. He brings a hand to your neck next, lightly pressing on the skin there with three fingers. He grimaces slightly. āThroatās still very bruised and swollen. How bad does it hurt when I touch it here?āĀ
He moves his hand up and places his fingers on a spot right under your jaw and to the left, putting a small amount of pressure there. You try not to flinch. Itās not a lot of weight at all, but it hurts like hell. You can only guess thatās where most of the bruising ended up.Ā
āHurts,ā you rasp. The doctor puts his lips into a thin line and brings his hand back away. He writes something down and then sets the clipboard on the nightstand.Ā
āHow long have I been here?ā you question, voice barely a whisper.Ā
āYouāve been in and out for about forty-eight hours now,ā the doctor tells you, glancing at his watch. āIām not surprised you donāt remember it, you werenāt very cognizant.āĀ
You nod, resisting the urge to look at Javi. Instead, you let your head lay back on the pillow and inspect the water-stained ceiling tile above your bed.Ā
āWhen will she be cleared to come home?ā Javi asks from where heās sat in the chair.Ā
The man sighs contemplatively. āIf all her vitals stay about the same as they are now for the next few hours, hopefully tonight. We would like to have somebody come talk to her to see where sheās at mentally first, since youāve said that you work and she stays home. We donāt need her trying something like this again while sheās alone.āĀ
āI can take time off,ā comes Javiās quick reply, making something twist in your stomach. If you werenāt so mentally exhausted, you might be surprised about that. He had told you before that it was hard for him to just take days off. Though you suppose it would make sense for him to be able to request time for a family emergency.Ā
āI think that would be best, but weāre still going to have someone in to talk. We need to assess her cognitive functions as much as we need to make sure sheās not planning anything drastic.āĀ
Even though youāre not looking at him, you know Javiās jaw is clenched. You know heās smart enough to hold his tongue to not give himself away, even though he wants to protest more. He doesnāt trust what you might say while youāre alone, and frankly, you donāt either.Ā
āCan he stay in the room with me?ā you croak.Ā
Thereās a beat of silence as you look back to the doctor. He looks at you, then to Javi, then back to you. āAre you sure you donāt want to talk alone? The social worker we have on staff is veryāā
āIām sure,ā you cut him off. āI want him here.āĀ
Thereās a sickening sense of betrayal coming from yourself as you decide your fate. You donāt know why youāre doing this, but you do. It hurts your head to try to decode what youāre thinking half the time these days.
The man watches you for a few seconds, obviously trying to gauge how much of a mistake it would be to let you make this decision. āIf thatās what makes you comfortable, we can do that.āĀ
Thereās a wave of relief as Javi leans forward slightly to cover your hand with his.Ā
āIām here, sweetheart,ā he comforts. You visibly relax, letting your body slumping down into the mattress. You let yourself zone out for a bit while Javi and the doctor talk for a minute more, just savoring the warmth of Javiās hand touching you so gently, so caring. You know you have his approval right now, and it feels so good to bask in it.Ā
You close your eyes and pretend to be asleep when the doctor leaves, trying to have Javi like this for as long as you can. Youāre transported back to one of the first dates you went on with him, leaning up to him in his truck, his free hand over yours as it is now. The smiles you exchanged, the kisses, the laughs. It hurts so fucking bad. To think youāll never have that again.Ā
Tears trickle from your shut eyes, a quiet sob leaving your lips even as you try to contain it.Ā
āOh, sweetheart,ā Javi consoles, genuine sympathy in his voice. It makes you want to cry more. You open your eyes and Javi gets up from the chair, coming to the bed as you begin to sob. You donāt know how to explain to him the grief youāre feeling over him when heās right there, but you donāt have to. You sit up the best you can and he cups your chin again, watching you tenderly with furrowed brows.Ā
āI know, honey, I know,ā he coos before tucking your head to his chest. āIāve got you. Get it all out.āĀ
And you do, you wrap your arms around him and cry into his chest until you can feel his shirt soaking your cheek. You shake and heave and clench the fabric until your tears go thin and start to burn your skin.Ā
Heās patient with you, holding you the entire time, whispering reassurances and rubbing your back, holding your head to him. It feels like your Javi. Yours. But it only makes you miss him more because you donāt know if itās true. Donāt know if heās snapped out of this awful trance thatās consumed him, or if heās only here momentarily when you need him most. Either way, you let his care overwhelm you, let yourself drown in the affection.Ā
****
Itās only when you open your swollen eyes a few hours later that you realize youād cried yourself to sleep in his lap. Youāre laying down now, Javi in the same spot he was the first time you woke up. Thereās a woman in the room talking to him, but youāre too groggy to think about what theyāre saying. More nonsense about your mental state, youāre sure.Ā
And just like that, the love that had consumed you a few hours ago starts to fade. Your mental state. The carefully constructed lies youāre about to tell this woman. She turns to you when she sees you try to sit up, rushing to your side with a gentle smile.Ā
āCareful, donāt want you straining anything,ā she says, placing her hands on your arms to help you. You nod at her, still trying to wake back up. Your eyes hurt from crying and your head is throbbing again. You really donāt want to talk right now, but you know you have to if you want to get out of here.Ā
āYou know why Iām here?ā the woman asks gently. Her name tag reads Chloe. She looks a bit older than you and has the most beautiful green eyes youāve ever seen. You decide you like her.Ā
You nod, then realize itās probably better to be verbal. āYes,ā you tell her.Ā
She nods understandingly, rubbing your upper arm in a comforting motion. āIāve been told youād like your husband to stay in the room while we talk?ā
You confirm again, glancing at Javi, who seems to still be in whatever state he was earlier.Ā
āAlright, Iām just going to ask you a few questions, and then weāll get you out of here. Sound good?āĀ
You nod, swallowing the thickness in your throat. āYou mind if I sit?ā Chloe asks, gesturing to the side of your bed. You shake your head no and she makes herself comfortable, clipboard in her lap. She doesnāt even look at Javi, which relaxes you a bit. Her sole focus is you.
āI know itās not going to be easy, but I promise to be patient. You can take all the time you need. Are you ready?āĀ
āIām ready,ā you reply before you change your mind about doing this with Javi.Ā
āOkay. Can you tell me how you tried to take your life last Friday? In as much detail as youāre comfortable with.āĀ
You take a deep breath, force yourself to not look at your husband, and pray you donāt mess this up.Ā
āI tried to drown myself,ā you lie quietly. āI tied a scarf around my neck and attached it to a weight. Then I filled the sink with waterā.ā You have to pause, emotion hitting you hard all of a sudden. You blink and swallow the lump in your throat. āI filled the sink with water and threw the weight in.āĀ
Chloe nods somberly, watching you with the same pitying look the doctor had earlier. āItās okay to cry, honey. Itās a hard thing to talk about. Youāre very brave for doing so.ā
You listen to her, bowing your head and letting your tears overflow. Theyāre slower than the ones youād cried with Javi. More quiet. They feel more like defeat than grief. Chloe writes something down and looks back at you.Ā
āAnd why did you feel like that was the best way to achieve what you were trying to do?āĀ
You bite your lip, contemplating for a second. āBecause I knew it would work over everything else. I thought it would.ā
She jots something down.Ā Ā
āThere are no firearms in your house?āĀ
āOnly mine, and it stays on me all day,ā Javi provides before you can say anything. Chloe whips her head around to him.Ā
āDid I ask for your input?āĀ
āNo,ā you say, before whatever just happened could escalate. The last thing you need right now is Javi getting angry. āJust his.āĀ
She turns back to you, gentleness returning to her face. She again scribbles something down.Ā
āTwo more,ā she tells you. āWeāre almost done. Youāre doing really well.āĀ
You nod at her, giving her a small smile.Ā
āDo you wish you had succeeded? Why or why not?āĀ
You answer quickly, maybe a little too quickly. You hate the way you still feel like youāre lying when you tell her no. āI was just overwhelmed that night. I was lucky that Javi came home when he did.āĀ
She nods, writes something down, and asks you the last one.Ā
āYouāre not going to try to take your life again?āĀ
āIām not. I donāt want to die.ā It almost hurts to have to say it. You donāt even know if thatās true. You put on a brave face though, needing her to believe it even if you donāt.Ā
She writes the last thing down and smiles at you. āOkay, Iām going to go talk to some staff and get you ready to go home. It was very nice to meet you. I hope things go well in your future.ā She holds her hand out for you to shake, and you do.Ā
āThank you, it was nice to meet you, too,ā you tell her honestly.Ā
You wait to hear the click of the door before you look at Javi. He doesnāt look angry exactly, but you can tell he didnāt like Chloe at all. But he still nods approvingly at you, taking your hand again.Ā
āYou did good, sweetheart,ā he says.Ā
*****
A couple of nurses come in about an hour later to take you out to Javiās truck. They watch as he helps you in, waves his thanks, and gets in the driverās side. You cuddle up next to him like you used to, and a calm feeling starts to ebb its way into you. He holds you tight the entire way back to the apartment, and after cooking you dinner, holds you tight as you fall asleep.Ā
This. This is why you stay.
*****
What are we thinkin'? š
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@survivingandenduring @kewwrites @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @missladym1981 @sofiparallel
@koshkaj-blog @sheepdogchick3 @movievillainess721 @jessie8605 @casa-boiardi
@justlulu @iamsherlocked-1998 @hjzghi-blog @glitterymanboy @letstalkaboutshtufff
@untamedheart81 @1nsommia @joelmillersblog
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Welcome home, baby boy š„¹š«¶š»
Today I became a dad of two again and Iām filled with so much joy I canāt believe this became a reality š
Fantti is a 4,5 year old German shepherd who was matched to me by my dear friend. Fantti needed a home and I have both that and all the love in the world to give him ā¤ļø
The best part is that both me and Aino have known Fantti for some time now, so bringing him home was super easy; it was like we come home together every day, so familiar and mundane. Heās such a good and well behaved boy Iām so proud of him and Iām also very proud of Aino for being such a good sport and accepting him to her home right away. š„¹
I canāt wait for all the adventures weāll share togetherā you came into my life just the right time and this feels like it was meant to be. Life has been extremely rough and depressing for a long time, but now I feel like we three are gonna be alright ā¤ļø
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Hello!! A question for you, not in a offensive light at all but I wanna ask why you like pavlevi so much and how come it doesn't make you uncomfortable with the age gap? We don't know pavs age which is fair enough but.. You get my point! I still love em tho. Maybe I'm a bit conflicted
Iām so sorry but you made a fatal mistake of giving me an opportunity to yap about them ( but thank you for being very nice abt the question, it means a lot :3 )
Slight rant under moreā¦ tried my hardest to keep it short but I have so much to say abt these fuckass losers š
For the reasons why I like Pavlevi so much. Itās because they are my two favourite characters, I need to psychoanalyse them and make them trauma bond or Iāll DIE.
Levi has the solitary soul, heās been alone for most of his life. What he seriously needs is connection. And I think most of the cast just canāt fundamentally understand him. (Iām not sure if Iām being biased and self projecting here because of my experiences being autistic but yeah š) And I genuinely think most of that cast would look at Levi with pity. Almost as if he canāt think for himself. And I think Levi hates it. Itās really a hard feeling to pin down, but it feels weirdly dehumanising?? Like say Karin or smth would mean well but it still feels like youāre being hang up to dry? And I think Levi fucking hates it when everyone is looking at him like that. And the pity ppl have for him comes from a place of being so disconnected from him. Most of them canāt really understand him or what heās gone through I suppose?? Itās not their faults, itās just how it is. Society has literally thrown him to wolves. His government striped him of his autonomy, has used him for itās benefit and now itās people look at him like this couldnāt have been avoided, that itās something so sad, to be pitied. Which is also why I love pavlevi bc Pav is the only person that Levi can truely connect with. Someone else whoās gone through the same bullshit, torn apart by the same world. They are both cut from the same stone, just at different stages and coping in different ways which I think is interesting. And itās so sad because why the hell does it have to be some Bremen fuck that actually treats him like a person and not just something to pity.
As for Pavās side of the coin. I just really like to torture him. Due to what heās gone through and seen, being in the army around the same age as Levi, if not younger. I feel like heād see Levi as being fit to make his own damn decisions. Itās none of Pavās business, Levi can do whatever and he honestly does not give a shit. But as they get closer I feel like I think Levi brings out all the guilt and shame Pav bottled up and pushed far down in his psyche. Likeā¦ heās had to kill so many just like Levi, all to even get a chance at killing Kaiser. All of it being a glorified elaborate destructive suicide mission. And heās very fucked up about it. Dread sets in for Pav because??? Heās a terrible person??? Heās had to wear this mask for so long, he doesnāt even know who he really is. Levi is just troubled and has been put in one unfair situation after another. Pav couldnāt move forward and purposely put himself in those situations and did those fucked up things. I also think itās interesting to think of them as like an intimacy of convenience. Bc they both know they have no future and might die at any second, but itās better to hold someoneās hand than be alone when you die.
Other tidbits!!
They are fucking funny, like cāmon getting bossed around by the enemy, and a LIEUTENANT on top of that, is fucking hilarious
I feel like you got this from the rant b4 but the Angst potential is crazyyyyy
Pav teasing Levi and making him all flustered, HELLOO??? I love blushy levi
Pav traversing caring for someone else that isnāt himself bc heās fundamentally a self serving person gggghhh
IFUCKING LOVE DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS RAHHHHHHHHHHH
The way their heavily different personalities clash would be fun
Having someone there who's gone through what you've suffered through is so comforting. you're not alone anymoreā¦.. IM SICK IN THE HEAD
I think Levi should be allowed to kiss boys as a treat
I also think he should be allowed to shoot Pav in the head as a treat
As for the age gap.. I donāt like it at all ofc. šš Itās definitely not ideal. And I can 100% understand how that can be a deal breakerā¦.. but I also feel like people baby Levi too much? He has 1 breakdown because he just got back from war, is going through heroin withdrawals, everyone in his home town has been turned into violent monsters, heās hearing voices and someone just tried to kill him and he gets labeled a wimp. You put a guy in the worst situation ever and he cries ONCE and ppl call him a crybaby and infantilise him š Heās stronger than people give him credit forā¦ but thatās more of a problem with fandom than anything.
Also likeā¦ I triedā¦.. I really tried to not like pavleviā¦.. But Iām way too fucking autistic abt them. Itās so bad that when I see them I get an adrenaline rush and do laps around my kitchen. Iām so serious. These guys are like pseudo drugs to me, I need to chop my head off.
And ofc I wouldnāt support 18 and 30 smth irl, thatās fucking grossā¦ā¦ā¦ And I would say the same for a stalker and her victim.. because look, I love S4marina, but itās basically in the same boat as Pavlevi to me..
This being a fandom that should primarily be adults, I feel like ppl should understand that. Yk, having better common sense and media literacy to understand this stuff aināt okay irl. I still realise itās not everyoneās thing and Iām not trying to convince ppl to like it, just explain why I like it (NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM LIKE I DO, I NEED TO DIE)ā¦. Anyway uuhm I understand it makes some ppl uncomfy, which is valid! Just donāt go into spaces where youāll be exposed to it ig??? If you seriously donāt like it, the block button/blocking tags is right there. I do that too !!
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I love your characters so much, they are all perfect blends of angsty and soft and attractive. š
How would the ROs feel about hearing an MC who is usually a sweet ball of tender sunshine get feisty with someone badmouthing the RO? Cuz sometimes our protectors need to be protected. š„ŗ
Not me coming back to asks because I gave up coding for the night-
Rook: He's...conflicted. He's seen flashes of this side of you before, but seeing you defend him? He doesn't deserve, and in his mind, they're probably right in some way. There's no reason to bare your teeth for him, especially when you're not normally like this. And yet. It's hard to deny the way his heart squeezes. When has anyone but you bothered to protect him?
Beck: He's uncharacteristically quiet. When you take his hand and the two of you leave the situation, you barely catch the 'thank you.' His head feels a little fuzzy. He's no stranger to the things people say about him, but it's been a long time since there was someone by his side to get him through it. He wants to protect you, especially if you're going to protect him.
Rhea: "You don't need to waste your energy on them." Rhea hasn't even glanced their way. She's used to it all. She's frigid, she's distant, she's a rich bitch who got in because of her dad's influence. There's no reason to acknowledge it. But when she sees how much it upsets you, she wraps her hands around your own and squeezes them. "Thank you for standing up for me, though."
Zoe: They feel nothing at the insults. They've known these their whole life, just like any magician who can't use magic. It's the same old script, but to you, it must all be so new. They wrap their arms around you, hugging you from behind. Their voice is a whisper, "It's alright MC. I'm ok." Their heart beat is even against your back, arms beckoning you to leave. They don't want you to waste their breath. Not on those who will never change.
Lars: Surprisingly, he'd let you. If someone tried to say shit like "Oh, you're letting yourself be protected now--" He'd level them with a threat to finally drive them off. When they're gone, he takes your face in his hands, and you half suspect a scolding. He isn't sure what he's feeling, and ultimately, he only sighs frustrated before dropping his hands and walking away. It's a waste of energy to protect him, but he liked it when you showed teeth. You're always surprising him.
???: You except something. The usual teasing or them stepping in with their own harsh words. Instead, they stare at you. But it's not really at you, it's through you. Their thoughts are far away, trapped in the past within the body of a lonely child. When you call their name, they snap back and shake their head with a laugh, "I didn't know you could sound like that, little moon." They reach for you, taking your hand, and pulling you into a run, away from whoever was bothering the both of you. And maybe to give themselves time to return to themselves.
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Hi!! I hate to intrude on your blog but I don't have a blog to talk abt this stuff (too risky) and I can't talk to anyone about it irl so I was wondering if I could go on a mini rant abt my ed bcos I'm a little fed up w myself rn š.
So, I've had what I like to call Ana Lite (TM) for a few years now (I used to eat smaller portions at meals to shrink my stomach/appetite) but it devolved into a full blown ed around Oct 2023. That's when I started seriously losing weight (and tracking it). Well, I've been fat all my life. And I don't mean skinny fat, or midsized, I mean fat fat. Like, (medically) obese. When I started I was 85.7kg. Between Oct and Dec of last year, I lost down to 72.8kg. I felt amazing, I had hit two of my gws and felt motivated.
Well, afyer some intsnse fluctuation, for the past 5 months or so I've maintained at 74.8kg. My honeymoon phase was over and I was no longer motivated to actually fast and get actual progress. Well, about 2 weeks ago I decided to change that. I weighed in then at 74.7kg and at the end of that week I was at 72.5kg (a new lw!!) I was (and am) overjoyed, but there's one issue. I fast as much as I can, but I can't avoid dinner or meals on weekends bc of my parents (my parents have both already asked me if im eating, i cant risk them knowing). My period was supposed to come that week, but as it normally happens when I fast, it didn't start until I started eating more on the weekend.
My period makes it so so much harder to fast bc my cravings get so much worse and you already gain weight on your period, which means I'm constantly bloated and feel fatter than usual. Anyway, my goal is to hit 59kg before I go back to school next year (important weight bc at my height it means I'll be 15 lbs under overweight) and it'll be so much easier if I lose as much as I can before summer starts bc once I'm home all the time it'll be a lot harder (I'm also currently unemployed, so ik getting a job again will help.) I have 2 weeks before summer hits and I really really wanna hit 68kg by then but I'm scared I gained weight this week š and I rlly just needed to talk about it bcos I haven't eaten all day and I'm about to go to the gym and I need to make sure I don't binge afterwards bcos I'm supposed to weigh in tomorrow.
(Also I feel rlly bad about this but my friend who is Chinese and slightly overweight very vocally hates her body and definitely has an ed but if I were to let her know I have one too or that ik she has one it wouldn't end well. That's not the part I feel bad about. This summer she's going to china to stay w her mom who is very skinny and very fat phobic and ik the ppl around her probably won't care if she starves herself and I feel so bad for feeling this way but I'm so scared she's gonna lose a ton of weight without me. She's always been skinnier than me and the way she talks about herself makes me feel so much fatter but I love her and we've been friends for such a long time. The one thing I have going for me is that I have skinny legs and she has expressed so many times how jelous she is of them and I feel so shitty that it makes me feel good about myself. Everything between us already feels like a competition, I just wish we could both be skinny without the drama. But also, i don't want her to go to the hospital or anything I want her to get better and all of this shit is just so confusing š)
So so sorry if I annoyed you! I just don't have an outlet for any of this stuff (other than my journal lol) and you seemed really sweet.
(š for me to find later if you do decide to post)
Hii!! Im not gonna respond to everythinf you said, my apologies!
But im so glad you were able to rant and please feel always welcome to, either anonymous like this or in my dm's youre always welcome ā”
Hope you feel a bit better :) and tysm for calling me sweet ahaha you seem nice too
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So I had a cool thought/idea to do with the seance in episode 7:
It seemed like the ghosts were only kind of visible when they wanted to be or with one person at a time and during the seance they could only hear Chucky but not see him.
However, if Nica had been there, what if she was able to see him the whole time. I mean, they were communicating with his spirit, right? And Nica had lived with his spirit possessing her for over a year and it got to the point where she could communicate with him in her head.
What if that caused her to have some kind of special connection where she could see him and talk to him as if he was just another person in the White House?
Even the experts may not have known of the possibility since it was directly related to voodoo.
I AM SCREAMING.
I have considered something like this for a WHILE!
Since Nica has been āridā of Chucky sheās kept a lot of Chuckyās tendenciesā¦enough that I considered briefly that at least a fragment of him was still inside her;
I will never get over her delivery to Tiffany in the courtroom when she says āOkay, itās a date!ā It feels SO like Chucky.
Not to mention that her obsession with revenge against Tiffany (while COMPLETELY justified) feels VERY extreme at moments for HER personality. I get that a lot changed and it is a normal/believable trajectoryā¦but I also feel like Chucky being inside of her for so long made a few things/feelingsā¦linger. š¬š§
I base a lot of this on the fact that while it makes perfect sense her main gripe is with Tiffany (and she did attempt to get Chucky from Caroline) she seemingly wasnāt near the White House at all trying to stop Chuckyā¦Chucky was the one that paralyzed her, killed her family, possessed her, brought her to Tiff. But sheās more focused on Tiffany who is behind bars. Seems like a very Chucky thing.
All this to say I LOVE this take! I can imagine my girl with what is BASICALLY super powers using them to find/help/communicate with Charles,
And AS IāM TYPING THIS Iām getting more excited because this kind of feels a bit like HORCRUXESā¦
How insane would it be if it turned out Nica and Chucky now share a kind of connection that they both use to try to spy on/find and kill the other?
GIVE ME BADASS SUPERPOWERED MAMA NICA!!! DAMBALLA, I BEG YOU!!! šš
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Tysm for the tags @fernando-jpg and @rubywritten !!!!
F1 Asks:
Who is your favorite driver?
Fernando and Seb! They come as a pair. Do not seperate :)
Do you have any other favorite drivers?
Yep! But mostly retired drivers </3 I love Mark and Jense! And then for current drivers, I like Oscar, and Max a bit as well(I can't help but feel loyal to him bcs he was my first fav)
Who is your least favorite driver?
I dislike being a hater on main but....#3 and #4. Also tbh I feel neutral to dislike about most current drivers, other than my 3 guys, so!
Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?
I'm mostly driver motivated, I think I'd follow Fernando anywhere, and probably Oscar too. I like and support teams as well but mostly just because my guy is there! It's like, I love Aston, right? They support Fernando, they're willing to do so much for him, they love him, the vibe is really good. But if he decided to blow up Aston tomorrow, I'd be like "I'm right there with you!!"
If you like teams, what team do you pull for?
+ HOWEVER! I am an RBR devotee. Like it's not even that much about the drivers, I like Max a lot, but I think I'll always keep my eye on RBR as long as I'm into F1. I just love the history of the team and their vibe. My fav team of all time will always be RBR 2009-2013, just so special to me š„¹ Not that I was actually around for it but, the way they evolved from a team that was mostly there to bring fun to the paddock to one of the most successful teams of all time, as well as being a fucking energy drink company in a sport full of car companies, is just so cool and inspiring to me. And I love the red bull golden boys so much(Seb and Max beloveds!!!) And I also have an addiction to red bull....But I got into them first so I have a special connection, even if I don't root for them all the time. Them and their aesthetic makes me happy :) they are F1 to me :)
How long have you been into F1
Probably over a year and half by now? I wish I could say I've been into it longer but unfortunately I am an American shjfkgkg
What got you into F1?
I've mentioned this several times before but. I read some oneshot in my prev fandom that was an F1 AU. And I was just like, enthralled. The first time I read it, I had to keep looking up stuff, and I kept going back to it. And then I went on the author's blog, and saw they talked about DTS and how to get into F1. So I tried watching DTS and it was alright I guess. But there happened to be an actual race that same weekend, so I tuned in, and was so into it!! Ah man there's nothing like that first race tbh. I knew only one driver, Max, and I rooted so hard for him and he won š„¹ it was just fun back then not knowing enough to be stressed and having pure focus on one guy. I'm happy where I'm at now, but that first race was cool :,)
Do you enjoy fanfic/rpf?
Yes of course >:) I think I probably looked at the ao3 page for F1 before even watching my first race actually, it's very habitual for me when joining a fandom. I draw rpf and write my own AU lore stuff, and meta and all that. And I think I check the ao3 page at least once a day š its an essential part of my fandom experience
How do you view new fans?
Hmmmm sometimes I feel like an old person, even though I haven't even been here that long. I think F1 has such a learning curve and barrier to entry compared to most fandoms. Like you have to learn so much about racing and the drivers as well until you feel like you actually have a good grasp imo. So I guess it's weird for me to see new fans bcs im like, oh god was I like that back then š I'm happy to see new fans ofc!! But it's also like, good luck on your learning journey š«”
If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?
I am not a good leader, I think we'd crash and burn if I took over a team š they'd be like "Catie! What should we do???" and I'd have a nervous breakdown. Go back in time to be TP for McLaren and be like, be careful who you invite to your garage at the Miami gp LMFAO
Are your friends and family into F1 as well?
Yes! My brother was into F1 before me(what a bastard for not getting me into it earlier.) Which is hilarious though because I pay for the F1TV account that he leeches off of. Like, damn who's the real F1 fan š„± I got my dad into it last season, and it was a very gradual process. He's a huge Fernando fan though, which is really fun, and sometimes he's much more positive abt the sport than me hahaha. He likes Fernando bcs they're both old men, and getting to see Fernando succeed last year is what pulled him into the sport. Some of my irl friends know of F1 but I don't think they watch all the races.
Are you open to talking to other fans/friends?
Of course!!!!! I am always desperate to talk to new people, feel free to hit me up always :D I will talk about anything F1, Fernando, Seb, Vettonso, etc related whenever :) I remember I got an ask a while ago last yr that's like "are you open to being friends/mutuals w strangers." It's like, um, yeah??? Its a lot of fun to be on here, I love making connections
Hmmmm ive seen a lot of people do this already so don't mind if I tag you and you've done it already aahh. But I will tag @suzuki-ecstar @sansebastinae @boisinnot @astronomical-light @thatdemonbish
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beginning to think it may never get better
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i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one
his name is toshiro š lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.
ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication
ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.
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My biggest flex will always be how I knew Neil was the more feral and dangerous one than Andrew this whole time even before tsc and seeing the entire fandom freaked out makes me want to kiss and hug Nora and just thank her for finally finally showing everyone and Iām not just crazy
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only took 2 years but he's done now
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happy fatherās day to the best dads š„¹
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