#it hurts to be something series

[amyispxnk]

It Hurts to be Something, Chapter 1 - Watch the Carnage Unfold.

Joel Miller x f!reader

Series summary: You and Joel were separated the night Cordyceps overtook the world. 20 years later, you finally find eachother - but things won't be the same as they were before.

Chapter Summary: A day that was supposed to be filled with fun and surprises ended up to be the beginning of the end for the world as you knew it.

A/N: WOOOO IM DOING A SERIES HERE’S THE FIRST CHAPTER IM SO SCARED TO POST

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: fluff, pet names, kissing, blood, mention of guns, infection, death

Series Masterlist || Next Chapter

DO NOT COPY THIS WORK IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

7:15AM the red numbers on the clock blinked as it beeped at a painfully loud level of noise.

“Alarm!” Sarah shouted as she banged on Joel’s bedroom door as he blinked himself awake. “Yeah, thanks honey!” He called back as he gently shook you to wake you up too.

“Hey.” He smiled at you, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes as you blearily looked up at him. “Gotta get up. ‘S almost 7:30.” He told you.

“Oh, shit. Okay, thanks.” You mumbled as you tried forcing yourself up and out of the bed, but it was so warm.. You just wanted to stay there forever. You couldn’t bring yourself to get up.

“C’mon sweetheart, we gotta go.” He said with a chuckle at your sleepy state.

“Fine.” You groaned as you got up, stumbling over to the bathroom and getting yourself ready, washing your face and brushing your teeth as Joel came behind you and wrapped his arms around you, pressing soft kisses to your neck which made you giggle slightly.

“What?” He grinned.

“Your beard’s all tickly.” You smirked as he let out a laugh before trailing more kisses on your body, making you laugh as you playfully pushed him off. He leaned back against the wall of the bathroom and watched you get ready, admiring you. Even without makeup and all that other shit you felt like you had to put on he thought you were the most gorgeous woman in the world.

“You gonna keep starin’ or you plan on getting ready too?” You teased as you started brushing your hair.

“Why can’t I admire my pretty lady?” He countered as you tilted your head at him, giving him a look.

“Because Sarah needs to go to school and I need to get to work and - So. Do. You.” You poked him in the chest with each word to add emphasis before ushering him to go shower and get ready too.

After about 20 minutes, you both came down the stairs. As soon as Sarah saw you she immediately commented on how slow you two were, and what the hell were you doing that took so long?! The language she used in the latter sentence earned her a stern glare from Joel as you laughed at her and prepared breakfast. There was no pancake mix, much to your dismay, and Sarah thought it was a great idea to make eggs whilst waiting for the two of you. You were scooping the eggs out of the pan when you saw not one, not two, but almost a dozen pieces of eggshell in there.

“Sarah, honey, how on earth did you manage to get all these shells in here?” You asked with raised eyebrows as you dug out another piece of shell. “What!” She laughed. “It’s extra calcium, for your old bones.” She teased as she walked up to you and grabbed herself a plate, barely sitting down before digging in and scoffing the food.

“Woah, woah there - calm down, don’t need you chokin’ this early in the mornin’.” Joel said as he sipped from his mug of coffee, kissing you on the cheek as you gave him his food and then sat with them at the table to eat.

After some of chatter about school, friends, how the contracting is going, Joel’s birthday - the topic making you and Sarah give each other a cheeky glance as you remembered what you had planned for him and making Joel look at you both confusedly - and so on, you all finished breakfast and you put the dishes away, doing some final checks on the house like checking the windows were locked and making sure the pink camellias Joel had gotten you were watered properly, before you all got into Joel’s pickup truck; you swore it was going to fall apart one of these days, paint peeling and engine sputtering for a good 20 seconds as Joel tried starting the damn thing up.

Eventually, it started to work and you all drove to Sarah’s school. You helped her out and offered to walk her up there - an offer which she swiftly denied, telling you that it was embarrassing and no one else did that, causing you to raise your hands in defence as you laughed at how worked up she got over it.

“Alright, alright. I’ll see ya later, okay?” She nodded and gave you a small smile, but you couldn’t help yourself and leaned down to give her a kiss on the forehead before walking away. She tried looking annoyed but she secretly loved when you did things like that with her, it was sweet.

You waved her goodbye and Joel started the truck up again, driving to your workplace.

“I told you you don’t have to drive me to work everytime y’know.” You said as you neared the hospital.

“Uh-huh, and I want to anyway. Not lettin’ you take the damn bus to work every mornin’, saves money that way and it means I get t’ spend more time with ya.” He grinned.

“That’s true.” You agreed as the car came to a stop in the parking lot.

“Okay, I’m gonna go then. You don’t needa pick me up today, gotta get your birthday party ready early and we all know you’re gonna take ages.” You smirked as you wiggled your eyebrows at him.

He tipped his head back against the headrest with a small groan. “Y’ still so adamant about that, huh?” He said as he looked to you sideways.

“Hey, it’s not just me! Sarah’s been wantin’ to do it for so long too, got some special stuff planned for ya.” You grinned, before getting out of the car.

“Fine. I’ll see ya later then.” He said, getting out of the car and kissing you one final time before getting back in the car and driving to his worksite.

10:39PM the analog clock on the wall of the reception at the hospital ticked as you looked up at it. Less than an hour left. Of course they needed you to work extra today, and of course you had to say yes because money is money and you want to look good in your department anyway, and this would show you could work hard. It’s fine though, you’ll still probably be home before Joel anyway.

People were filing into the hospital just as your shift was about to end a few hours prior, and they told you they needed you to stay. Something about people twitching like crazy, groaning and gurgling, with no clear reason as to why - so they needed you and as many people as they could to try figure out what the hell was going on and sort these people out.

No more than 5 minutes later, there was a crash and a shriek from one of the examining rooms and you rushed over with a few other doctors. One of them, Sam, opened the door and let out a yell similar to the one you’d heard before. When you went to see what was going on, the patient lurched onto him and pushed him to the ground, sinking its teeth into his neck before you could even process the sight before you in the room.

The doctor who was performing the examination in there was bleeding out onto the floor, flesh torn and teeth marks visible on her neck. Her eyes were wide and frozen, cold without any emotion in them anymore as her lifeless body lay there. You were positively horrified, and although you wished you were braver in that moment, you weren’t. You left Sam to die, figuring there was no way to save him and not wanting to take a chance if there was.

You didn’t even grab your bag, you didn’t even get out of your PPE or anything as you rushed out of the hospital, leaving the utter carnage that had erupted inside behind you as you took off down the street. You had to get home, you had to find Joel and Sarah and make sure they were okay. You’d hole up inside or something, surely he had a gun there, you’d be safe together, they just had to be okay.

You turned down the street and barely managed to shield yourself from an explosion of flames coming from a car which had crashed into a building, completely blocking your path. Shit, shit, shit. You didn’t have another way to get home which was fast enough - you couldn’t get to them in time without completely risking your life, and what would be the point if you got attacked and bitten?

Turning down a street corner, you found a store which had the shutters down but a side door which was cracked open the slightest bit, and you darted for it, not even thinking if any of those things were inside.

You rushed in and slammed the door behind you, panting heavily as you looked around. Noone was there. You searched for any stairs that might lead to a second floor which could have people on it, but there were none. You were safe for now, but you needed to get back onto the street, you needed to get home. Maybe there was a gun here, or something that would be useful. You needed protection if you were to get back.

You searched behind the counter and let out a sigh of relief when you found a handgun and some boxes with ammo inside the drawer with it, quickly pocketing them and peeking outside the shutters of the store. Still a total mess out there, you had to formulate some sort of plan before just running out if you didn’t want to get killed.

Your eyes darted around the scene before you until you saw an alleyway which had a sign with your neighbourhood name on it. Of course, how did you not think of that? There were a multitude of small streets that could help you get home.

You checked your gun one last time before bolting out of the store and running to the alley, pushing past screaming people on your way. You shoved a gate open at the end of the alley and you were about to turn onto the next street when you saw one of them, its back turned to you before it let out a growl and began to turn around. You hastily pressed yourself back against the wall, just behind the corner, concealing yourself as best you could and thanking God when it ran past you down the other way.

After what seemed like hours, you finally made it home. You pushed the door open and screamed for anyone - Joel, Sarah, even fucking Tommy, to no avail. You searched every room, praying for no bodies and you guessed your prayers had been answered when no one was there. That was good, but now you were alone. You looked around and noticed Joel’s coat was back on the hanger, meaning he’d gotten home already. That means the two of them were at least together, and probably safe too since Joel knew his way around a gun.

You paced around for a minute or two as you tried to gather your thoughts and figure out what to do.

You decided that you had to try to find them, even if you thought they were safe, you had to know.

Searching the house didn’t bring you many resources and you walked back out onto the street, if you could get out of the city.. Find somewhere with less people around, less of these sick people that could get you infected too, you’d be safe. That’s probably what Joel was thinking when he left, at least you hoped it was as you made your way out of the neighbourhood and as far away as you could get from Austin.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! This is the beginning of my first series ever and God I hope it’s good. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated and requests are open. 💞

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Heh...Literally nothing personal, kid.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[divineandmajesticinone]

4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.04

Great & Tyme

[zuzu-draws]

Do people still watch Kuroko no Basket? 'cause i currently am and these 2 got a massive grip on me atm

[crispywizardtale]

[direquail]

One of the many things I find funny and irritating is the slant of a lot of interpretations of Alecto's name (that it's about feminine rage)--on this here wlw internet in the year of our lord 2024, it's easily made to figure as rage against God, or rage against patriarchy, or religious oppression, and therefore an allusion to the idea that she's going to get her vengeance on John for betraying and oppressing her somehow, but like

John is the one who named her Alecto. He's the one who named her that. So, naming her "Alecto" is alluding to the embodiment of John's rage--their rage, since they are joined inseparably (John even explicitly says that when he first perceives her: "You wouldn't stop screaming. You were so scared. You were so goddamn mad").

He says of Alecto to Harrow, "In a very real way, you are [Alecto's] children". At a very surface level, Alecto is (depending on the text or tradition), one of the Furies--famously, in several surviving Greek tragedies, who punish Orestes for the crime of killing his mother. In fact, in Aeschylus' Oresteia, they declare that they are specifically bound to avenge matricide.

So the name "Alecto" alludes to the nature of John's mission and how he sees it.

It also implies that his divine rage, the rage that gives him power, the power that makes him divine, that he either represents or wants to represent, is feminine rage. He was chosen by Earth (which, Furies are sometimes the daughters of Gaia); he is her champion, however he's managed to fuck that up. Once the truth of that comes out, it becomes clear that all of his power comes from her.

And that's why you get statements from Tamsyn Muir like:

“[T]he God of the Locked Tomb IS a man; he IS the Father and the Teacher; it’s an inherently masc role played by someone who has an uneasy relationship himself to playing a Biblical patriarch. John falls back on hierarchies and roles because they’re familiar even when he’s struggling not to. Even he identifies himself as the God who became man and the man who became God. But the divine in the Locked Tomb is essentially feminine on multiple axes – I think Nona will illuminate that a little bit more."

So yes, he plays the role of Emperor and God and Teacher, with all of the things that implies. And I don't think it should be discounted. But he also is (and partly sees himself as) the chosen champion of a goddess, or what is for all intents & purposes for a human like him a goddess. He is her avenger, and while she sleeps, her avatar.

And I don't think we're meant to read him purely as a parasite who's taking advantage of her to gain power for himself, either. Or an oppressive, Kronos-like figure. Especially if you consider Palamedes' theory of the Grand Lysis, even if he was purely motivated by desire for power before (which I really doubt), there are parts of each in the other, now. What was clear and separate before is uncertain and interpenetrated. Is his rage his own, or hers? Is his mission of revenge his, or hers? If he wants power, is that his own selfishness, or her desire to survive?

And does it matter?

[heretherebedork]

The trauma and the loss of it all. the way pain has a way of hurting others, the pressure of these new people in his life that remind him of what he lost and not only that but take what he lost and try to recreate it.

Sheng lashes out because he's reminded not just of his mother but the loss of his mother, between not feeling well and watching her be hurt he's reliving one of his worst memories and missing his mother deeply, more deeply than any other day or any other time.

He pushes them away because the pain is too to be contained just within himself and that pain has to find a way out or it'll be too much for him to bear.

(All the memories, all the pain, right there and waiting, never far, twisting his loneliness up again and again.)

[maxescheibechlinichacheli]

I thought you fell into the water. I thought you wouldn’t come back up. I thought you were going to die. Is it fun messing with me like that? No matter how much I hate you, I don’t want to see you die. Do you want to see me die from a heart attack?

I’m sorry Khun Tongrak.

You bastard.

I’m sorry.

Let me go!

It’s all my fault. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

[starmocha]

12:30 PM Checkup Zayne + Son | 767 words | AO3 Zayne has an appointment with a very adorable doctor. A/N: Maybe I’m ovulating or something lmao but I want this man’s babies. But since he’s fictional, I’ll settle for writing little self-indulgent ficlets. 🫠

It was one of Zayne’s very few days off, and unfortunately, he found himself at the doctor’s office for a routine checkup. It was fortunate, however, that the doctor was someone he was very familiar with and trusted completely with his health. As a matter of fact, the very esteemed doctor was his three-year-old son and the so-called doctor’s office was his son’s bedroom.

He watched with amusement as the little boy, a spitting image of his father minus the hair color, adjusted his doctor play clothes. Zayne could barely contain his chuckle when his son put on the faux round-rimmed glasses and walked over to him holding a clipboard while maintaining a comically stoic expression on his young face.

“Patient’s name is…Daddy!” the young doctor declared, looking expectantly at his patient.

Zayne chuckled and nodded. “Correct, Doctor.”

“I have to listen to Daddy’s heart,” the little boy said, holding up his toy stethoscope. He pressed the toy to his father’s chest, and looked thoughtful as he “listened” to the grown man’s heart. After a few seconds, he nodded approvingly. “Heart is good, Daddy.”

Zayne sighed in relief. “Thank goodness, Doctor.” He blinked in surprise as his son pulled out a reflex hammer.

“Daddy’s knee now!”

Over the next few minutes, the young doctor performed a thorough examination on his patient, checking his ear, eyes, throat, and so on, all while diligently scribbling his notes down onto his clipboard. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he reviewed the notes from the wellness exam.

“Well, Doctor,” Zayne started, looking at the young boy expectantly, “Is there a diagnosis?”

The boy nodded grimly. “Daddy is tired.”

Zayne held back his laugh at the child’s acute observation. “What would be your prescription for such an ailment then?”

“One strawberry candy every day,” his doctor replied, adding another scribble to his clipboard.

Zayne actually chuckled this time. “Consider it done.” His voice took on a serious tone as he looked at the little doctor concerned. “Doctor, I believe my insurance isn’t covered under your practice. May I use an alternative payment?”

The young doctor looked thoughtful as he rubbed his chin again before holding up three chubby fingers, answering with a serious expression, “Three macarons.”

“Outrageous!” Zayne exclaimed, mock-offended, “My previous checkup only costed me one box of apple juice.”

Zayne wondered belatedly if his tone and expression might have seemed a touch stiff when he realized his doctor was starting to tear up. He knelt down to his son’s level and wiped at the boy’s eyes, apologizing softly, “I didn’t mean to upset you. Daddy is just joking.” He smiled when his son calmed down and he rubbed the boy’s cheek affectionately, “Three macarons it is, but I am afraid payment will have to be postponed until after naptime.”

“No nap!” The boy crossed his arms defiantly. “I still have to check Mr. Seal and Pan-Pan and the Windy Carrots and—”

“Even doctors take naps,” Zayne interrupted with a firm voice before softening it again, “One might even argue that doctors enjoy naps the most.”

The boy looked up at him dejected. “Do you nap, Daddy?”

“Yes,” Zayne answered with a nod as he helped his son remove the doctor costume and put away some of the toys. He gathered his son into his arms as he carried the little boy to his bed. “Sometimes I nap in my car or office in between surgeries.” He tucked his son into bed, kissing his cheek. “Now, won’t you be a good boy and take your nap for Daddy?”

“Story?” his son gave him the most pitiful pout a three-year-old can muster.

Zayne sighed, half-exasperated and half-amused. “You are just like your mother,” he muttered to himself before sitting down on the edge of the boy’s bed. “Alright, one story.”

Zayne outstretched his hand, conjuring up snowy imageries as he spun a tale with evil carrots that had taken over an innocent kingdom. Thankfully, one brave seal stood up against this evil force and taken them down along with help from Happy Snowman and its friends.

The boy watched the snowy scenery with rapt fascination as it changed following Zayne’s storytelling. As Zayne neared the end of his impromptu story, he noticed his son’s sleepy face, catching sight of a yawn escaping. He smiled to himself and quickly wrapped up the story as he re-tucked the sleepy boy into bed.

“Sweet dreams,” Zayne whispered, kissing the top of his son’s head as the little boy finally dozed off, “When you wake up, Daddy will take you and Mommy out for macarons.”

[misspoetree]

[24/24]

❄❄ kp + text post advent calendar ❄❄

[amyispxnk]

It hurts to be something. [abandoned 😮‍💨💔]

MASTERLIST

Summary: You and Joel were separated the night Cordyceps overtook the world. 20 years later, you finally find eachother - but things won't be the same as they were before.

Warnings: will be stated by chapter but generally - light fluff, angst, blood, violence, infection/injury, language, pining, idiots in love, no smut, no big age gap, more to come as series progresses

Pairing - Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: AHH okay I'm doing it I'm doing a series! I'm actually really excited to write this and I hope anyone who reads enjoys it

This is a kind of little thingie for 100 follows since I normally just do oneshots but I've spent a lot of time on this for you guys 😔🫶 I don't know how many of you followed for the fics or how many of you followed just because you like me (aw) but I'm so so grateful for you all. Thank you truly 💞

The series is heavily inspired by Promise by Laufey (and ig you'll see just why at the end?) ⬇️ and if this does at all well I might go crazy and make a series playlist

Chapters (new one per fortnight):

✯ Chapter 1 - Watch the Carnage Unfold. (12/11/23)

✯ Chapter 2 - Keep Them Safe. (22/11/23)

✯ chapter 3

✯ chapter 4

More to come..

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

Okay I've been meaning to respond to a post but Tumblr won't let me reblog it for whatever reason, but I feel like my response has enough context on its own that I can make it it's own post.

So this is in response to multiple posts I've seen people make about Wilson telling House that he wishes he had been an asshole like him, House responds that he would still have cancer, and Wilson says, "Yeah but at least I'd feel like I deserved it!"

There are so many people saying that Wilson had absolutely no reason for saying that, that they can't understand why he would say it, that it didn't need to be in there, and how dare he say that to House after House helped him so much after his cancer diagnosis.

There was a reason behind it, just because it's not a happy reason, doesn't mean it's not an understandable one. I think the way Wilson sees it at first is that House has spent his entire life pushing people away and hurting them so that he doesn't get hurt in return. House has abused and ruined every relationship he's had. House constantly hurts people, and yet, he gets to live. Wilson, on the other hand, has practically dedicated his life to helping and taking care of others. He's maintained this nice guy mask his entire life, and yet Wilson, who has lived what others would call a good life, who has been what others would consider a good man, is the one that gets cancer and is going to die.

Wilson feels like he wasted his life being a "good man" instead of just doing and saying whatever the fuck he wanted like House. Wilson is jealous of House. Wilson is laying there on the couch in insufferable pain with death looming over him, and here's Gregory House, asshole extraordinaire, who's alive and well (as well as he usually is). That has to really fucking hurt.

This idea that "omg how could Wilson do that?? He said that for no reason!!" Is just not true. Wilson said it because he's was in excruciating pain and terrified and just found out he was going to die in a couple of months. Wilson was scared, and he was lashing out, which is a very human reaction. House does it all the time, Wilson is not special in the way he reacts to pain. The entire series is full of House berating people and hurting them and saying awful things, and pushing them away. He does that to Wilson multiple times. And Wilson forgave him every single time. And so when Wilson is in pain and lashing out, House knows not to take his personally, and that's why he basically immediately forgave him.

House and Wilson know each other well enough that they can see behind the harsh words, and understand each others intent. Ideally, Wilson would not have said that, and he should have apologized, but that was not a crazy horrific reaction. It's true, House has done a lot for Wilson during their relationship, especially after his cancer diagnosis, but Wilson has also sacrificed for House. After the infarction, House lashed out and pushed away and abused everybody until they all cracked under it and left. Everybody except Wilson. Wilson put up with the constant humiliation, degradation, pain, and abuse from House.

Wilson put House before everything in his life, including his marriage. Later, Wilson refuses to vote to get rid of House, and therefore loses his spot on the board, and the job that he loved and put so much of his life into. All to protect House. Wilson lies multiple times to the police to protect House, risking his freedom if they found out. Wilson and House constantly sacrifice for each other, it's just what they do. Neither one of them is "better" or "worse", they just are.

If they switched roles, and House was the one with cancer, House would definitely lash out as Wilson, no doubt about it. And Wilson would forgive him. Wilson has such a realistic reaction. It doesn't matter how many times you see people diagnosed with cancer and think that it's not personal, that cancer doesn't have an agenda, nothing can prepare you for when it happens to you or somebody you love, and a lot of the time, it feels incredibly personal.

How we react to dying and sickness is not always rational, and anger is a stage of grief. This is Wilson trying to grapple with his death, and that doesn't always look pretty. Sure, it was a fucked up thing to say and House didn't deserve it, but Wilson wasn't just insulting him for the fun of it. He had a very realistic, understandable reason behind it.

Not going to lie, I see people all the time talking about this scene in particular, with such a surface level approach to it. They act mad or confused, and talk about how they have no idea how someone could possibly hurt their favourite characters. So yeah, Wilson saying it was a shitty thing to do, but there is no way it was the worst thing anybody said, and he had very obvious, complex reasons for it.

I honestly love this scene, and I think it gives so much insight into Wilson's character. Wilson finally lashes out and exposes his grief in such a raw, mean way is lowkey a pivotal moment for him because he's finally letting himself be the "bad guy." And yeah, they weren't forced to put this in the show. It's literally fiction. They don't have to put anything in. But it fits so well. So yeah, just because he has complex reasoning for why he said what he said, that doesn't mean the reasoning doesn't exist.

[desultory-novice]

A Silly Post

So I have that amazing Kirby 30th Anniversary collection of wall magnets, right? They're wonderful and I love them so much and have them hanging by my desk and look at them every day.

Until...

I woke up one morning to discover...it was gone! Apparently, I'd hung the magnet board I got to display them badly and they all fell during the night. I searched under my desk and could only find a few of them. The board, with the rest intact, fell behind MY CLOSET.

The rest of the Kirby gang are still trapped there, because MY CLOSET is huge, heavy, and completely unstable, and any attempts to move it could cause it to come crashing down! But here's the thing.

Check out the surviving figures...

Do they look like they'd make a fun cast for a big adventure story about rescuing the rest of the Dream Land gang or what?!

We're missing Coo and no Bandanna Waddle Dee to be found either, but you've got a good spread of key players, either way! (Dess is just happy because my beloved Marx and Magolor survived.)

Anyway, yeah, that's my brief summary of the plot of the newest game, "Kirby and the Impossible Closet" (Maybe this is the game where Kracko gets to be the last boss, finally?)

[veveisveryuncool]

finally back home after a long battle..

kirbytober day 1: together again/friendship

[crispywizardtale]

[justafriend-ql]

I love you, Ray. I'll never abandon you. ONLY FRIENDS Episode 4