#it is making me a bit more annoyed by ppl who insist on comparing this to hear/tstopper

[elekinetic]

unpopular opinion (?) people who try and defend jason annoy the FUCK out of me. yes he was mourning his girlfriend but also do these people honestly think he was a good boyfriend to her if she didn't go to him when she was struggling ????? do these people honestly fucking think that he was good to her, judging by how aggressive and possessive he was when he found out about the drug thing??? INSISTING that she wouldn't do that??? he was a bad boyfriend. point blank. he barely knew her at all.

not to mention that he is literally an 80s version of a trump supporter. that kid was bigoted and based all of his bullshit on HIS own religious values and no, it wasn't explicitly stated that he was racist or homophobic, but like. it's subtext (barely subtext actually imo. people need to open their eyes). he clearly was, or would've been explicitly shown to be if he had survived longer. jason was not and never will be a good person, we are not supposed to SEE him as a good person, we are supposed to see him as the shitty bigoted far right bible thumper asshole that he is. i really wish people would stop defending him.

also, i'm sorry if this was a bit unarticulate. im bad at wording things

no i get where you’re coming from. i generally agree with you, but i also think it’s more nuanced than that. he’s an archetype and representative of oppressive power structures, but he’s also an example of how oppressive power structures will harm the ppl they’re designed to uplift. his (comparatively limited) victimhood doesn’t excuse or alleviate the harm he causes as a conduit of oppression, but the way he’s written emphasizes that there are no real winners here, just a scale of losses. the tragedy of jason is that he drank the koolaid that was spoon fed to him. jason wasn’t irredeemable at the beginning of the story. fuck, he wasn’t halfway through! there was time to unlearn, time to amend. but people told him he owned the world and it led to his own undoing. you don’t need to empathize or sympathize with jason—he caused and perpetuated real, tangible harm and represents some of the most hurtful parts of the world. but i think what he represents is really interesting. 

also like he wasn’t a great boyfriend, but he was also sixteen. i understand why he didn’t believe that his sweetheart head-cheerleader doe-eyed girlfriend was buying drugs, especially given the way eddie leaned into his own reputation and the way ppl thought abt drugs in the 80s (reagan era, remember?)

he’s the kind of racist/misogynist that makes harmful assumptions, but he’s not the overt, out loud and proud kind. that’s billy hargrove. dude said “those people.” jason votes for bush. billy votes for trump.

I think there’s a lot more nuance to jason’s character than people give him or the duffers credit for, and honestly I think his character and what he represents is one of the most interesting parts of season four

[menalez]

"^_^ but thank u for taking the time to use that to actually defend actual lesbophobia that was expressed'

first of all I'm literally not defending it I agree she's lesbophobic and I've never liked ms-revived-frogs tbh she says so much shit off the cuff and then completely doubles down unreasonably. she's just a contrarian that think she's the only one that really understands anything. maybe a symptom of her age but im still not gonna give her a pass or then she'll just continue to b like that.

second of all I literally wasn't the anon that sent any of those original asks but I did know wtf they are talking about w piqued. idk about the rest im only talking about the piqued thing. i just think its crazy how radblr can correctly recognize those comparisons are lesbophobic and wrong, but when people call us dick worshipers or spread essays on how we're identical to men, suddenly thats no biggie and the only evil is that the bihets think they have the right to complain. piqued was the least bad person to reblog that shit essay bcoz she at least partly acknowledged some bits were bad, but she still thinks that the "bad" parts like comparing our sexual assaults to TIM completely fake murder stats or saying we're dick worshipers or the premise of the essay on how we're identical to men are completely acceptable to pass around even if their 'bad' if she decides she thinks its worth it, and us rape victims are pathetic if we take offense at her choice. and thats the thing even when u all say that harassment or abuse against bi women is "bad", a lot of ppl on here just treat it as like a fart in the room at most nothing real and nothing realated to real pain or oppression just annoying whining. ppl oppose it in theory but in practice they completely let ppl like that off the hook and show way more anger at any bisexuals that bring up the topic of how ppl harass us treating us like we're complaining over nothing. no ones gonna call desisapphic, ornitomoltorinco, like-a-ruby, eliminatedmighty, angrylesbianatwork, and dozens others that passed that shit around homophobes for making light of our rape and using it as a gotcha or misogynists for how they call us dick worshippers. no one's ever gonna spare any anger for them even if they mildly criticize, it all goes only into insisting that bi "male worshipers" exagerate everything and can be believed. And I'm not talking about you but rad spaces as a whole. I actually don't think ur that bad about bi women at all, u at least call bullshit bullshit when its direct, but you seem completely unable to call out sussy shit thats in between the lines, and the thing is i know u can coz ur smart and you do it all the time with other shit. but unfort a lot of people are alot shittier about bi women than u, i don't get why you have to pretend theyre not and bis are just making everything up.

“i just think its crazy how radblr can correctly recognize those comparisons are lesbophobic and wrong”

the idea that radblr is collectively recognising this as lesbophobic & wrong is laughable to me. i’m seeing more ppl outright justifying her lesbophobia n demonising me for criticising it than i am seeing ppl saying it was lesbophobic. and of the ppl calling it lesbophobic, almost every single one is a lesbian.

ur paragraph about piqued is.. literally nothing she even said. “TIM completely fake murder stats” is bizarre to say bc like.

the rate of transwomen of colour being murdered isn’t a myth. the myth is acting like trans women are the most vulnerable group, which overall they are not. however black or latam trans women are absolutely at high risk of being murdered:

and almost everything u took issue with is stuff she mentioned as an issue as well:

like idk i find it absolutely insane that of all the ppl u could have gone after, u specifically chose the lesbian who agreed with ur takes here and chose to demonise her. there’s also the fact that youre expecting *others* to go after what *you* find problematic *on your behalf* instead of just.. doing it urself? i mean none of u did shit when tagai/tonguehurt was harassing me and even happily grouped us together and acted like we were besties when she left. none of u cared when that general circle was being awful to me. and most of u directed not even 1/20th of the attacks directed at me towards the ppl u named above. and then on top of that ur like “hey why don’t u go after these ppl i disagree with harder? even tho we won’t call out the lesbophobia within our circles or call the ppl we disagree with out ourselves or anything else” .. just bizarre frankly

also i actually had no issue with ms-revived-frogs before ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i disagreed with some things but the lesbians are unempathetic stuff she said was shocking to me bc i didn’t expect it from her. her inability to take any accountability and readiness to demonise me despite me giving her the benefit of the doubt n simply politely explaining how she was lesbophobic was also shocking to me considering she made it seem like she was an ally to lesbians. so how u felt about her prior to that doesn’t matter to me tbh, no one needs to dislike or hate her or anyone else. but that lesbophobia should be criticised

btw never heard of eliminatedmighty, i did criticise angrylesbianatwork but she’s inactive now anyways, don’t know what ornito did, and at most i disagree with like-a-ruby and desisapphic on some things but i’ve seen ppl go after those two and literally no one else you’ve mentioned which.. again i do find it interesting that the women who say they want front row seats to see a woman being abused by her bf/husband and called women misogynistic terms such as bulldyke-rider or others in her direct circle aren’t ppl that y’all go after nearly as much as ppl like desisapphic

[kuiinncedes]

why are the episode titles like ,, in this font lmfao

[skunked-up-kicks]

About Allison yeah. I think people acknowledge she’s a bit ableist and classist but they erase the fact she was fine/complicit with Seth’s homophobia and treatment of Nicky (tbh it seems like all the upperclassmen were??) + what that post said. This isn’t hate I love Allison! But I think she’s much more interesting as a character with flaws that make sense with her upbringing and backstory rather than just #girlboss.

okay my response to this is ungodly long so, if you're interested...

1. her ableism

the thing is when people do acknowledge her ableism it's always with how she treats andrew (which makes sense cause it's the most obvious, and they're not wrong) but it kinda results in an issue. the way these fics that acknowledge this usually go is that allison calls andrew 'monster' and maybe talks about how he's 'psychotic' or something. then it goes one of few ways:

1) neil tells her (and usually all the upperclassmen as they get grouped together seeing as they all do this) not to speak about andrew like that, maybe he threatens her or something. the problem with this is that he's just scaring her into being silent, her mindset doesn't actually change.

2) neil gives a speech about how andrew is actually good, and generally how he's 'not as bad as she thinks' or something. now correct me if i'm wrong, but the issue i see with this is that, it's not actually telling her that her mindset about people with mental illnesses and/or trauma is wrong- just that andrew isn't the right person to direct her ableism too, but there are people out there who are 'as bad as she thinks'. it's kinda like the attitude that as long as andrew does enough to redeem himself he can be treated as human and not a 'monster' which is... yeah.

3) basically the same issue as the last one, andrew proves he's actually good because allison and the others see him do something outwardly affectionate. thereby proving he is actually all good now.

sometimes fics have a mix of these but basically the thing is that her ableism is never actually 'fixed' (for lack of a better word). most that happens is that it's no longer directed at andrew, but this is a worldview that she has, it's not just a dislike of andrew- realistically it's not just isolated to him.

to clarify though, i'm genuinely not intending to shame people who write these fics cause they are acknowledging her ableism, which is good. and similar with how people approach aarons homophobia, it's incredibly hard to write someone overcoming a prejudice. i certainly couldn't do it, and realistically maybe it's not somethìng that can be done in a fic. given that often it's a long-term process where you have to check yourself often.

it's especially complicated because she somehow needs to come to the realization that villifying andrew isn't right because despite the wrong that he has done- and he has done wrong, we can't deny that- he is still a person deserving of at least the deceny to not be compared to a monster and dehumanised in that way. she needs to realise that while andrew shouldn't do those things and can be called out for it, that the way he acts is a product of his trauma. BUT he is still responsible for his actions, and while she can rightfully choose to not associate with andrew, she shouldn't discourage others from doing so in the way that she does. it really is complicated and there's a lot of nuance there which makes it a hard topic to deal with cause... how do you write someone learning that?

but yeah, that's my thoughts on that.

2. her classism

i honestly don't see people acknowledge this a lot? i think one of the ways we see it manifest is how she talks about the way neil dresses... and in fics she often insists neil buys better clothes, usually more expensive ones. which is portrayed usually as her being a caring friend, which i get, but i think neil would actually find this really annoying lol.

i think an interesting way to look at her classism would be in her and dans relationship given the extreme differences they grew up. same thing with her relationship with seth, as he grew up poor too.

with seth, she might have sometimes been ashamed of the way he acted and dressed, maybe of the way he spoke too...? i can picture them fighting over that and her being a bitch about it. she would probably speak badly about the place seth grew up in too..

with dan, i feel like dan might get frustrated when allison, for example, doesn't know how much ordinary things cost (a thing a lot of celebs have shown to have no knowledge of). or dan might even get jealous or angry at the way allison can just throw away her moneyvand buy things carelessly (think of her reaction when her car got trashed, she could just get another 'toy'), while she was brought up saving money at any instance she could.

not much to say on this tbh... i think it would be cool to see this explored a bit more though.

3. complicit in homophobia

someone made a post on here about how allison would be the type of girl to preach equality while having a homophobic boyfriend... and yeah.. that's it really lol, hit the nail on the head.

again, a lot of people make her very progressive and woke, and i think this is tied to the very common hc of her being bi. (despite the fact that when betting on neils sexuality she doesn't consider bi an option which makes me think she is canonically straight..). i think it's hard for people to address the fact that she is complicit in homophobia while also headcanonning her as bi, cause it seems like she wouldn't be if she actually was bi. from my knowledge, bi women (and bi ppl in general) not being supportive of gay people and/or not standing up against homophobia isn't really a common issue? (pls correct me if i am wrong though) usually prejudice goes the other way due to the biphobia in the LGBTQ+ community. so it's hard to think about and write about.

when it comes to the other upperclassmen, i seem to remember dan and matt standing up against seth? though i could be remembering that wrong or getting it confused with a fic.

4. #girlboss

i highly agree with you that she really does just get reduced to just a #girlboss a LOT. and i think the same thing happens with the other female characters... i mean, just look at katelyn. there's no evidence that she is some kind of badass but many want to make her one.. but she can be an interesting character without having to fit this ideal #girlboss.

i understand wanting to make female characters cool and badass but in the process it feels like we're losing variety... i personally don't want the exact same personality and way of acting plastered onto every female character.

a strong female character is not defined by how much they can kick a guy in the balls but rather how well they are written, and to be written well they need flaws. and when making female characters #girlbosses we usually lose the flaws :(

like you said, this isn't to hate on allison. i just think sometimes we miss the parts of her character that make her truly interesting.. and i think that's a real shame..

anyway, i think that that's all that i had to say lol. if you read up till this point, thank you! and thank you for the ask anon :)

[lcgendcfzvlda]

☆ — wait , is that ZELDA KING ? dean lockwood has been looking for them . you didn’t hear it from me but , apparently the JUNIOR might know something about the whole omega chi & kappa tau situation . while they can be BRASH & IMPULSIVE , they’re far too WELCOMING & COURAGEOUS  to be involved , right ? those who know them say they’re reminded of FLANNELS WRAPPED AROUND THE WAIST, THE CLICKING OF A CAMERA, A COMPUTER SCREEN ILLUMINATING A PITCH BLACK ROOM, THE “IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA” THEME, BAGPIPES PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE whenever they’re around .  honestly , the DIGITAL MEDIA major should try to keep their head down . after the events of last semester , lockwood is out for blood . did you know that ZELDA is a member of GAMMA RHO ALPHA ? that might explain why their name is being brought up .

                                               you’re an explosion , you’re dynamite                                                   playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.                                                like for a plotting dm on tumblr , react for a discord dm                                                rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329 on discord.

WOOOO I really can’t keep myself from holding only one muse can’t I. WELL. This is Zelda , a bit more of a happy-go-lucky muse compared to Sam !! She’s both her own character mixed with a few others I have - I love her dearly , so please please please feel free to come at me for plots !! <3 HERE WE GO :

HISTORY

Zelda’s backstory isn’t anything special - growing up in Scotland her parents had a nice marriage , she grew up an only child , always got good grades

But she always felt... average. She never was really anyone to anybody , so Zelda had a bit of a knack for wanting attention and trying to get her voice out there. So some took this as endearing , some took it as annoying.

In high school , she was lucky enough to be selected for an exchange student program in Salem , Massachusetts - and then she’d meet the FIRST person who would make her feel special in SAGA ( Sexuality And Gender Acceptance ) Club , a cheeky blonde boy named Cyrus who had a tendency to hide in the corner of the room and not talk to many people. And they’d date for about a year , up until Zelda would have to go back to Scotland.

They had to break up when Zelda would leave , but remained extremely close and communicating daily through digital connections.

ANYWAY , that little one year romance sort of gave her more confidence to use her voice and try and light up the room - since if she could do it for one person , she could do it for multiple people. That’s what gave her the idea to pursue a career in DIGITAL MEDIA -  namely , film & video ( with digital art and photography on the side ) in the more comedic aspect. Screenplaying and the technicals behind sketch-comedy skits. Stand-up comedy , even though that was more performing.

Think like Saturday Night Live - and then think of all the technical stuff that goes into it besides the acting. The script-writing , camera angles , etc. Zelda just wanted to make people laugh.

Soooo… when she told her parents that would be what she wanted to do , her average home-life would turn sour CONSIDERING they didn’t want her to explore such risky career choices. An easier life would be to become a lawyer or a doctor - more stable. But that’s not what she wanted. So after a LENGTHY argument with her parents , Zelda would be thrown out of the house with only the money she saved ( thankfully , she’d always been the frugal one ) , and would call . . . her ex-boyfriend and his mother. Since even though they’d only been communicating digitally over the past two years , it still felt like home in Massachusetts.

Her ex’s mother would pay for a flight for her to go back to the United States , and after some time of adjusting , she’d get into Hollingsworth to pursue her career in Digital Media - staying there , but often traveling home ( being where her ex and his mom lived ) routinely.

Pledging to Gamma , her insistence for encouraging people to live their life to the fullest and readiness to include people in her free spirited antics would leave a great impression on the sorority - eventually even leading to her current position as its president.

CHARACTER / FACTS

So again !! Zelda is my trans female pansexual bby , 5’11 bc tall girls make the world go round and she is the LIVING EXAMPLE of the Halcyon label. She’s loud , carefree , optimistic - never really known to pass up an opportunity to have fun.

...that’s so basic of an intro to her personality BUT IN MY DEFENSE IT’S EARLY

BUT YEAH Zelda ?? Does not give a shit about anything. She holds no grudges towards anyone , waaaay too chill - but she flips from extremely chill and laid back to “HEY HEY LET’S GO DO THESE TEN THINGS” and it’s. Definitely a 360. But nobody’s ever seen her angry and it sort of makes people wonder if she even feels anger or if she has a secret dark side nobody knows about.

...She doesn’t. Zelda’s only habits when angry are that she’s short , to the point , and WILL call you out if you’ve done something wrong. But making her mad is extremely hard and she’ll only remotely get upset if you prove time and time after again to be a shitty person.

Which , can sort of lead her to get taken advantage of because of her chill nature - that’s how the previous issue with Gamma getting in trouble at one of their parties happened. Zelda got pissed. She knows she’s chill but she doesn’t think about how that could lead SOME people to thinking “oh I can do anything I want and she’ll be fine with it” because she doesn’t. Get angry about much.

ALSO THAT DOES MAKE HER A BIT NAIVE - just again. She’s easy to take advantage of because she believes the best in everyone and automatically assumes people will do the right thing as people. Doesn’t really understand why people will do things to hurt others and doesn’t really want to.

Also kind of jumpy like she’s a social person and definitely flips between lax and loud but it is SO easy to startle her.

AS FOR HER INTERESTS IN DIGITAL MEDIA - she is extremely talented with the entire Adobe Creative Suite , especially Premiere , Photoshop , and After Effects.

She has an Instagram dedicated to posting manips , edits , etc. she made in both PS & AE. You know those funky Insta edits you see all the time ?? Zelda makes those.

She ALSO does a lot of editing and promotion for Gamma - a lot of times they’re memey little videos or advertisements or skits that display how welcoming Gamma is , and they do a great job at leaving a good impression on possible recruits.

Her BIG thing though would be a little YouTube channel she runs where she often posts videos just around campus - think Billy On The Street , which is what she really wants to do with her digital media career.

“I’M RUNNING AROUND HOLLINGSWORTH WITH A PACK OF WILD LESBIANS”

“LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO”

She either wants to do that - or mockumentaries to put on Youtube ( or even documentaries in a whole that she approaches with her extremely sunny demeanor on conspiracies or the like ). She’d also like to film her own show to put on TV , either something like reality comedy , a reality show spoof , or even something like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or The Office or Brooklyn 99. Comedy film is her passion.

Commentary videos are ALSO something she’s considered , much like iNabber or Strange AEons , but she thinks mockumentaries , skits , and her other work

Also that person who Photoshops heads on people’s bodies and makes memes for all the group chats she’s in

She really doesn’t take herself seriously often but frankly that’s just Gamma as a whole so it WORKS.

A good portion of Zelda’s existence is a meme tbh I honestly adore her

She has a LOT of tattoos that were designed by her ex-boyfriend since he was an art major and now is a tattoo artist in Salem - I’d point you in the direction of Hannah Pixie Snowdon’s body art as a reference , just Zelda isn’t nearly as covered as she is.

This would be the best reference I can think of rn , lots of pretty designs and some animals, maybe some symbols and references from stuff. 

Olivia doesn’t have any tattoos but WE CAN CERTAINLY PRETEND

A lot of her spare money is made doing either graphics commissions or even photography from whoever needs her services !! The majority of her stuff has been done for cosplayers , budding models , budding actors and actresses , and even for other fraternities and sororities around campus. Zelda knows no rivalries when it comes to these things.

She’s also 100% that person who keeps around a polaroid camera so she can hang up pictures she takes she’s just That Person

Decorates the Gamma house with a lot of polaroids she’s taken and memey edits she’s done in Photoshop

INSIDE JOKES ARE HER THING

She also plays guitar and is fairly good at it but doesn’t have a band or anything rn bc she’s just someone who does it bc she wants to look cool ( and also bc the guitar’s a neato instrument but yeah she started it out just bc she wanted to play SOME kind of instrument at least )

,,,but she also knows how to play the bagpipes

and she owns a pair.

they’re in the gamma house. zelda plays them at meetings.

Also I can’t 100% guarantee she didn’t get her name from the Legend of Zelda series if y’all know me u know how much I adore that series so yeah

WANTED PLOTS / CONNECTIONS

GIVE ME A COMEDY SQUAD PLEEEEEEEEASE maybe even ppl she works to make a webseries or something with ?? give me people who work constantly just to make other people laugh

People she routinely takes photographs of !!

Whether they pay her or she uses as a muse for whatever

OTHER PPL FROM THE GREEK ROW THAT JUST DON’T… LIKE ZELDA FOR WHATEVER REASON

Maybe they think she’s too chill. Maybe they think she’s hiding something. Maybe they don’t like how she’s running Gamma but for whatever reason they just DON’T LIKE HER and I want enemies so fucking give me enemies

This is so general but more Gamma sisters would be lovely Zelda’s so eager to bring in more people to make their sorority feel like home

Give me crushes Zelda pines over !! Crushes that pine over Zelda !! Gimme that skinny love shit bc my god it gets me going !!

Hookup plots are also 100% acceptable bc again Zelda’s a carefree spirit and gives No Fucks

Also 100% down 4 cute romantic plots too - Zelda is ur regular poly pan babe w/ room in her heart for 12000 suns

it’s very on brand of me to place the romance/sex plots right smack in the middle as I’m thinking of what to put down

Okay when I was in high school we had majors and I was a Digital Art major and all the Visual Art majors had this bond with us for no reason so I’d really love some Vis. Art buddies that Zelda gets along with much like the bond she has with her ex-boyfriend now

OTHER PEOPLE TO DESIGN MORE TATTOOS FOR HER PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE one day she hopes to be a coloring book

I’D LOVE SOME UNLIKELY FRIENDS TOO JUST SOME GRUMPS ZELDA’S CONSTANTLY BOTHERING W/ HER SHIT

Memey group chat pls

THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW maybe i’ll do a more detailed / organized list soon but yeah !! Come at me !!!

[gloxinian]

ik i talked to him abt wanting to still be friends but, after thinking a lot, i’m really not comfortable still talking to somebody that was that toxic to me fr so long.  and ik posting this might not be the “classiest” thing to do but i feel like i have to get it off my chest bc otherwise a part of me is pushing to say “it wasn’t that bad” or to excuse it bc “well he apologized and said he wouldn’t do it again” even tho he kept doing these things and showed literally no signs of changing.  and i’m so tired of entering these conversations and having it lead to no change or be twisted to be about pitying him.  this isn’t really a callout or anything so i’m leaving his name out and there aren’t receipts or anything.  it might sound trivial bc i’m starting with the small stuff and working forward but idk.  i’m just tired and felt like i needed to write smth out.

im not sure the best way to word this, but i never felt like i could enjoy things or have things just fr myself.  the only way i could talk abt things was if i was criticizing them or it was smth he loved.  these are just a few things and alone each of them would just be annoying, but it all just compounded into making me feel miserable like i wasn’t allowed to love anything.

when i showed him a series that was very important to me, the first the he did was insult the art style, characters, story, etc.

when i started getting excited about pokemon swsh and the new pokemon, he immediately started mocking my favorite ones and sending me posts/articles talking abt how the game was going to be garbage, even after i asked him to stop.

when i got my first noise cancelling headphones and was excited abt how well they worked, he immediately told me that it was a good thing they were noise cancelling so i wouldn’t be able to hear him crying.

constantly glancing over my shoulder and making fun of what he saw me playing or enjoying.  new game he doesn’t play?  looks stupid/cheap/boring.  not doing great?  makes fun of me for doing poor even after i repeatedly tell him to stop.

and whenever he said something particularly upsetting like that headphones thing, he would immediately say “oh it’s an intrusive thought” or “oh it was just a joke” when i got upset and confronted him about it.  and he’d immediately turn around and make the situation about him and how i should be pitying him.

the worst examples of this come from over a year ago when i was still in college.  my depression was hitting me really hard bc i was back living at home instead of dorms, i was struggling really hard with classes, and had teachers that mocked me whenever i tried to ask questions.  i was actively suicidal during this time and had repeatedly expressed worries to friends and family that i wouldn’t be able to support myself in the future, that i was a failure, and i felt like my only option was to drop out so i would have at least some control in my life.  this was the lowest point i’d ever been.  i’m going to list a few things that happened from smallest to worst and it’s important they all happened during this time.  and he was aware this is how i was during this time.

he was friends with somebody that actively hated me.  fine, not that big of a deal bc friends don’t always get along with boyfriends.  but how this was handled was absolutely horrid.  this friend insulted me whenever i spoke, even told me i shouldn’t talk period.  he kept being friends with them and insisting we hang out more.  that friendship only ended after (1) they accused me of being a pedophile bc i felt physically sick hearing ppl talk abt loli/shota stuff.  and i was the only one who called this out for being so.  fucked up.  to call someone that for being distressed by even seeing cp terms.  he only said he’d talk to said friend after i was incredibly/vocally upset abt this. 

one night depression almost got the best of me and i stopped responding to any calls/texts/etc.  said friend got annoyed he was scared i might actually be dead.  this was the event that actually ended that friendship and honestly i’m mostly upset it took that friend literally not caring if i was dead for my boyfriend to actually give a shit how i was being treated.

he fucking.  cheated on me.  and told me how he was planning on moving in with the person he was cheating on me with “in case things didn’t work out with me”.  he knew i was suicidal over being uncertain about my future and did this, even telling me he was cheating on me BECAUSE of me being suicidal and uncertain.

the worst thing for me is that ofc he managed to make this about him.  maybe it doesn’t make sense for it to feel worse, but it does to me for some reason.  last time we even spoke about him cheating on me, he went on and on about how he hurt he was bc he felt used by the person he cheated on me with.  bc that person stopped talking to him after he told them he didn’t want to do sexual stuff anymore. 

things didn’t really get “better” or anything once i graduated.  if anything, they just got more stressful.  i was still stressed at whether i’d be able to support myself, but a bit more stable now that i had a job and a degree.  my ex moved in with the promise that he would be working to get a job so that he could support himself, grow confidence, and keep things equal.  i don’t.  have the energy to detail everything and don’t know if it’s right.  but the short of it is that i constantly had to nag him to even send out applications and he didn’t even want to go to interviews.  things got really stressful between us and it eventually came out (after i told him the relationship was unhealthy and unbalanced, that i had no desire to support him entirely as this was a source of extreme stress and a lot to ask of someone new to the work force, etc) that he expected me to fully support him financially and that was what he wanted.

he wanted me to fully support him financially, to take responsibility for improving his entire emotional maturity and recovery without taking any initiative, and to fully care for him once i got home from a full day of work (as i’ve been doing).  there was never a “what can i do for you?” or any signs/desire for positive change.  it was only “what are you going to do for me?”.  the relationship was incredibly unhealthy, unblanced, and it was clear that i wasn’t a partner but a surrogate caretaker.  and when i broke up with him, he accused me of breaking my promise to support him.

and i just.  i’m tired.  the whole relationship felt manipulative and unhealthy, looking back.  i don’t know.  maybe i’m wrong.  but i just don’t feel comfortable continuing to speak to somebody who repeatedly put me down, treated me like an expendable resource, and targeted the thing they knew i was most vulnerable about (my own independence and being able to support myself) when he knew that had made me suicidal in the past.

i know we have some shared friends and he’s probably going to paint me like some villain to you guys.  he already compared me to his previous abuser multiple times.  i don’t want to start some stupid “war” or drama or whatever and won’t push back or argue or anything because i have a ton on my plate both health and financially right now.  i don’t have the energy for stupid drama.  maybe i included more details than i should have, but i also left out a lot of details because i’m not really sure how much is appropriate here since this isn’t a callout or whatever.  there aren’t “receipts” since many of these things were personal interactions and i’m not looking to prove anything or make a callout.  you don’t have to believe me or read this or idk.

i just wanted to get this all off my chest.

[flying-elliska]

Idk if this’ll be worded correctly but I was reading that posted you reblogged about gender expression in clothing but also just people saying a person is queer baiting because of xyz. And here’s my thing as a person who’s ace spectrum and generally confused by many things 😂 while I do find it funny when people point out certain things like cuffed pants or just any random style choice and are like ok they’re bi, at the same time in general I find it quite strange that people in the community will then see other people who they don’t know and just because of the way they dress they’ll be like yeah so they must be gay. Idk how you feel about this but to me it’s like ok so people will get bullied for this sort of thing when they’re younger and I can’t help but compare that they’re saying a lot of the same things that these homophobic bullies would say. Context tho is EVERYTHING so someone saying that in terms of what they think their sexuality is can be harmless but it gets a bit weird to me when they become insistent on it. Maybe it’s cause I’m ace and I dress however the f I want but anybody seeing how I dress wouldn’t be able to guess that hey I don’t really want to fuck anybody 🤣 so I feel weird about it even tho I know maybe it’s harmless in most respects. But I feel like it’s a bit much when people are saying, an example, Shawn Mendes MUST be gay because of xyz. When he’s said he’s not and no one would really know. Unless they fully caught him balls deep in someone who didn’t identify as female and even then he could still be bi/pan/ any other sexuality! It’s like unless your that person why is it your business 😭 Sorry this got so long I just wanted to know your thoughts because you always have very insightful things to say lol

😂😂😂 great comedic wording anon

My take on this :

there's a historical aspect to this : when queerness was forbidden/reprimanded, queer ppl needed signals to find each other without alerting straight ppl necessarily, a sort of secret code. Still todat it makes finding each other easier. It's a signal. So yes for ace ppl it might be less useful in some ways, but also cool in order to find kindred spirits ? Idk

Queer culture, often tied with gender non-conformity, favorised the adoption of non-mainstream, subversive ways of presenting, dressing - often a way to rebel against an oppressive mainstream and express themselves - with their own fads and trends which then were recognized as "queer styles". A lot of those are about going beyond traditional beauty/desirability standards. There is a lot of history and pride in some of those and I understand why ppl would want to continue these traditions and feel connected to the wider queer community and its history. For groups that have traditionally been less visible, like bi ppl, I get why there is a hunger to create those codes even if it's a bit artificial at times.

Sociologically speaking it's common for subcultures to have their codes of appearance to distinguish themselves and bond over shared identity ; this has been fading somewhat as queerness becomes more mainstream in some places

Personally I think those things can be fun and cute when they're optional and you can be creative about it. It annoys me when people take them too seriously or judge ppl who don't look queer enough, or try to police who can or can't wear certain things like discussed in that post. The ideal is indeed, anyone can wear whatever the fuck they want (cultural appropriation and other offensive shit aside) so that means some people want to be more discrete and some ppl want to wear signals, and some ppl want to experiment - should all be possible !

I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with the fact that gender and sexuality can be fluid and blurry at the edges and so is gender presentation and they would rather keep ppl in boxes. And the queer version of this is that "men can't wear dresses unless they're outspoken about being queer" bullshit

And finally I think it's normal that people look for queer role models/icons etc and speculate a little w their friends when they recognize relatable things, but modern online celebrity culture has made some people deranged re:boundaries and how far they think it's acceptable to dig into ppl's private lives and that sucks. And the idea that they're entitled to total transparency from ppl they don't even know about this is some creepy as hell totalitarian surveillance culture bullshit and I do not vibe with it. It makes life hell for anyone figuring out their sexuality while in the public eye, esp later in life, and especially bi ppl, so I think it's also distinctly biphobic.

Anyway yeah I think overall I agree with you ! But also the way you dress can be a language so that can be fun to express things with and have shared codes and subvert heteronormativity/the male gaze/figure out new more expansive ways to be seductive and embodying your ideal gender/vibe etc etc ! But it should never be mandatory

[michellialeeids]

Week 5

Research Data Synthesis 

Questions

Quan-Lin shim 30 yrs / Designer at Catch / Zoom for day to day basis / collaboration / talking w/ clients / Business set up / company account / board room app / tv connection / part of zoom is interesting connects everyone / automatically share screen, zoom picks up / 

Two days WFH / I have set up / during week days / desk / large screen / laptop on side / duo screen / 

Macbook Pro 13 inch / Keyboard extension / 

Yes, lockdown last year / google hangouts / limiting / skype / 

Positive / Audio was super clear / upgrade / hear multiple people

Interface was confusing / 1 week / more around learning how to schedule meetings + google calendar 

Grid layout / filters & background / -> fun / engaging / 

Waiting Room (feature positive)/ Downside : notification counter not great / not noticeable / space bar mute /  Platform all in once place / for softwares

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Joseph Jeong / 19yrs / Student at Techtorium

Mornings : School - Attend classes physically or online / Get back home - get ready for work / Go to Work until late at night / shower / eat if have to / play games 

Desktop computer / Laptop (Asus Tough Gaming)

Yeah, through online articles/youtube videos in regards security breach 

Yeah, around Feb 2021 

My main purpose is to attend classes 

Discord / Microsoft Teams 

It was okay, quality (zoom classes / video camera and feedback / compared to skype - video feedback is bad when there are many people in one session) is pretty fair / very organizational use but not private use

When hosting a video calls on zooms - break out zooms - make people go in them and personal talks is pretty welldone / can create our own channels for whatever projects 

Neutral

No 

Function - satisfies purpose 

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Ryan Campbell / Designer Lead at Catch Design / 36 

Work FH / 2 days a week / tuesdays and fridays / work in the office rest of those days / at home work from small desk / at work : better situations / work off screen at both places / fuzzy internet at home / office: zoom calls in board rooms/ meeting rooms  

Macbook Pro / Android Huawei P20 :uses zoom on both devices

Yes, I use zoom at work / make decision between Micro Team and Zoom/ Zoom won/ Director made decision/ I got to know about Zoom at Catch Design : May 2020 

Lockdown Zoom with friends quiz night - social purpose / 

Main purposes : internal meetings / external client / some use team which is awkward / social purposes to catch up / corporate updates done via zoom 

The 40 minute time limit is really annoying (bad experience pissed me off)

Average - middle of the road - nothing amazing - found it hard to start a meeting / not intuitive / scheduling a new meeting & new meeting is confusing / sharing links is confusing (text forms ) / should really be one piece of text not a novel or words / copy and paste is confusing because there are 

Closing a zoom call (leave a meeting - and then quick leave (do you really want to leave?) / makes it awkward when in front of other (pause ) : worst user experience u cld possibly create - two step leaving journey = awkward pause / less possible to accidentally close the meeting . Security(should be chooseable) / Waiting room is auto ticked (WHY?) / Creating video conference call / casual meet ups 50%(majority) / client meetings 50% - so don’t want hardcore security like waiting rooms 

Basic functionality works for video  / video background filters / (beautifier mode) / video filters is great (only thing i like about zoom) / does its job

A lot of frustration / punishing!!! /  very painful / double close is painful / positive 

Single click close / intuitive point of view / just does video conferencing = a lot of annoyances / Zoom works well with external parties / Teams can only be within Teams / Audio is an issue : trying to connect bluetooth headphones is difficult (if could be done well solving issues for bluetooth connected devices - easy connect and disconnect ) shareability - sharing a zoom link it hard = feels like 30 different time zones / 3 different hyper links / not all of them are meeting links / easy to share screen / 

Social events : really hard to have everyone to have everyone visible on screen / layout is restricted / more than 8 ppl - can only see 5 at a time / on mobile is worse - need to change layout / connectivity / chats algd / doesn’t stand out that much / google meets : microsoft teams / facebook calling 1:1 communication / 

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Quentin, Front-End Wed developer - 41 / Catch Design / Father of two 

Sitting behind laptop most of the time / office / at home trying to take care of kids not coming in to home office 

Macbook Pro 

Yes, got to know about Zoom day I started with Catch, 1st April 2020 

Yes, it was a Wellington/ Auckland Catch Design conference meeting / first time using - was very simple/ was using google hangout before Zoom/ initial layout was different / hangout’s interface was different / nice and simple 

Virtual backgrounds / had worked for a company in UK - thought about masking my background 

Apprehensive / First day of work kind of nerves 

I never know when people add comments / chats - doesn;t know until someone says something about it / 

I bought shares in Zoom / it peaked / but it dropped so lost a bit of money / 

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Lie-An / 34/ IOS Developer 

Train Commute / Office 8:30 / 3-4 hrs / go back home / watch netflix series / go back to bed around 9 / not that tiring 

Macbook Pro / iphone 12 pro

& 5. Yes, previous employment started using Zoom for experimentation / as back up for google hang out / at Catch Design mostly used a lot / use it for online conferences 

March / April Last year (lockdown)

Meetings / conferences 

It was very quick, but interface isn;t that appealing. Has improved npw, the view itself is PC/ easy to start meetings / easy to invite / can be attached to google calendar

The speed of the software / interface: not that much : using Zoom - more focused on functionality 

Got used to it, understood how app works / frustration with iPad because it is hard to start meetings with the iPad Zoom 

The amount of time setting for the meeting / in hang out you can set a meeting for an hour/ for zoom there is a maximum limit if not pro user / background filters / notification reminder / (great!!) 

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Sam / 28 / Tech LEad / Architecting application / Developing Application 

Half of the week in office by team / half of the week work from home 

Macbook Pro 13 inch 

Yes, Forced to use it for work. 

Yes, Just Before lockdown, iPad /

Meetings - team aligned on project guidelines / social zoom calls over lock down - team cohesive, gather requirements / find out and gather information / show product etc. 

First impression : wasn’t a big fan at start, before installed - big security breach (no good first impression), as I got used to using it, good video streaming expereince - interface : didn’t find it user-friendly (clunky), I would prefer Google Meet (sharing links / less extra step) 

Video streaming itself is very good / good quality / core feature is great 

Frustration / installation amongst people 

To get used to zoom - couple weeks - 

Google Meets - runs in the browser - click the link - straight into the feature. (extra step / user journey)

Used zoom for presentation / after research / professional development / kinda education / knowledge sharing with the team / collaborative environment / pretty easy / screen share - 

iPad Zoom interface  / trying to join from ipad (look into it) 

Remote Control Panel for Zoom (connected TV). Consistency amongst interfaces with different devices. 

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Interview 1: Grace Chey,  21, Product Design Student

1. I am a 20 year old full time student in my last year of studying industrial product design. 

2. I am either at home studying by myself or is at school (going to lectures, workshops and labs) surrounded by school peers. 

3. iPad, Macbook

4/ 5. Yes, I was first introduced to zoom by my school (University of Canterbury) last year for online learning during lockdown

6. For lectures and meetings for group projects

7. At first I found it very complicated as it was a new software for me and I found the downloading and logging in process was very long

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Interview 2: Saem, 35, Work and Income CSR, Studylink Officer 

1. Work and Income customer service representative/ StudyLink Officer

2. Call centre office environment  or working from home office 

3. iPhone, P.C.

4. Yes, during NZ’s nationwide lockdown - through online media and family 

5. Yes, for a job interview 

6. Work purposes 

7. Easy to use, simple intuitive interface

8. Zoom meeting calls - being able to easily have group zoom meetings

9. Being able to easily see who is in the meeting from a small device like a smartphone 

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Interview 3: Ashley Jeong, 23, UX Intermediate Designer at Flight Digital

1. I’m a UXUI designer at a marketing agency. Have been working at the agency for 2 and a half years. I am 23 years old.

2. Physical environment at work is very spacious and well equipped with everything I need. Workwise, I have client meetings and workshops in our meeting rooms or at my desk doing work on the computer.

3. I use a 27inch imac as my primary screen and a smaller secondary LG screen at work. 13inch macbook at home.

4. Yes I know Zoom. I came to know Zoom when I visited Korea last year when covid first hit and church had to be done on Zoom.

5. Yes, beginning of Feb 2020.

6. Only use it for church. Have used it once for work because the client insisted we use Zoom. Usually use google hangouts at work.

7. Kinda confusing at first. Mostly because video meetings weren’t the norm before covid.

8. Fast access to the zoom room once I had the room code and password.

9. The thumbs up or hand wave emoji is nice to use when everyone is on mute.

10. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of Zoom. It used to be way faster but it’s very slow these days and laggy compared with google meet. I find the interface for google meets is easier and straight forward.

11. Nope. Currently doing masters and if we have class online we use gomeeting.

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Interview 4: Becky Jeong, 21, English Literature & Media Student

1. I am a 21 year old university student with a part time job. Studying a Bachelor of Arts degree, in my last year.

2. I go to my part time job every day, a Japanese restaurant on Upper Queen Street. I also attend my university classes. I go to the City Fitness gym in Albany a few times a week, and also attend church meetings or services. 

3. My Macbook air 

4. Yes I do. When we went into our first lockdown, we had to use it for uni classes and church.

5. Yes I have used it before. My first experience was when we had to have online classes for university.

6. We don’t use it for uni anymore, but we still use it at church for our daily 9pm prayer meetings.

7. It felt very unfamiliar because I hadn’t used some kind of video calling service in such a long time, especially in large groups.

8. Screen share was super helpful. I also like gallery view where we can see everyone rather than just the speaker.

9. At times I felt more connected to people because we could meet more frequently on Zoom more than we would meet in real life.

10. I don’t know about similar software. I only ever used video calling on my phone for brief calls and Zoom is already much more advanced than that.

11. Yes, we used it at uni. The features that were really useful were obviously the screen sharing so that we could see what the lecturer was referring to as they were talking, as well as the breakout rooms. We were in a class of 200, and then used the breakout room feature to split into groups of 4 or 5 to have discussions before coming back together. These features made online classes a lot easier and manageable. The chat feature was also useful because if a student had a question, we did not have to turn on our mic in the middle of class, but instead just ask on the chat.

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Interview 5: Sarah Lee, 20, Engineering Student

1. Student, 20 years 

3. Laptop

4. Through others 

5. Mid 2020

6. Attending online conference and meetings

7. awkward and uncomfortable lol

9. group meetings across the country and having new encounters from different cities

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Updated interview questions (student + lecturer) 

1. Tell me about yourself, your occupation and your age

2. What is your study/work environment like?

3. What device do you mostly use on a daily basis for educational purposes?

4. Do you know what Zoom is? Have you used Zoom before? If so, how did you come to know about Zoom? When was your first Zoom experience?

5. Have you encountered using Zoom the 2020 lockdown? Could you please tell us about your experience? 

6. What is your main purpose of using Zoom?

7. What was your first impression of using Zoom?

8. What was the feature you were most satisfied with during your experience?

9. What are some memorable feelings / situations you have experienced while using Zoom?

10. Would you bring a feature from any software into Zoom? What would it be and why?

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Harper

1. Harper, born in 1997. Currently studying at AUT

2. Study desk set up at home, university library because its newly designed and fancy

3. Laptop (macbook pro), imac in level 4 WE

4. Yes, I have used it before. During the lockdown my tutor introduced Zoom to us for virtual classes since we couldn’t come in physically. 

5. Nothing really special but being able to switch between gallery/speak view, chat, break out rooms is good. At first I felt comfortable because personally physical meetings are uncomfortable. But when I had to present my work on Zoom, I was stressed because sometimes the audio didn't work. 

7. Very simple and straightforward. I learned to use all of it in 1 class

8. Reactions and emojis. Also the pop out screen that minimises when you are in a different window, 

10. In blackboard there is a whiteboard feature where everyone can write something down. 

Describe Zoom in 1 word - ‘futuristic’. 

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1. Soumya, studying interaction design, 33 years old

2. Have own study space/desk at home

3. Laptop and phone: macbook pro and iphone

4. Yes I have. Started using it first last year due to uni through covid lockdown march 2020. 

5. My online experience was ok for the first time. It was engaging because of the break out rooms. It felt like in class where the lecturer jumped from each table. Peer to peer communication was good. It was quite awkward at times because only 2-3 people turned their cameras on, so very little social interaction. 

6. I use it for collab projects with my uni partner

7. Simple, functions are easy, but it would be better if it straight away shared the screen if you clicked on the button (right now there are too many steps) 

8. I was quite happy because I could finish and continue with my papers, way better than blackboard because you can't see who is speaking and all of the members. Zoom you can see everyone in the meeting

9. Share screen, reaction emojis are good as it lets people engage just like they are in a classroom

10. The break out rooms were great as I was able to have the 1:1 discussions and have engagement with the lecturer just as in real life. It was nice to have the time to catch up with classmates before class started.

11. For the chat, it would be nice to follow the facebook messenger system where there are separate chat boxes for different people. The current zoom chat system is confusing and can accidentally send to wrong people. 

1 word to describe: Reliable

For next week 

You should have completed your research 

You should have synthesized your findings into theme, then insights 

You should have several draft HMW statements to review. You will have some data! 

Be thinking about how you can present your research visually for your formative poster.