#it is making typing far more difficult than id like it to be!

[sageandscorpiongrass]

hello!

could u possibly do a web weaving for all the people pleasers? i would really love it. thank u!

I will be a mirror, don't look at me as myself.

I Loved You Before I Was Born, Li-Young Lee | Louise Kaufmann | the moon: poems to heal your heart, k.tolnoe | Setting Myself Free, Julia Greef | Dear March—Come in—, Emily Dickinson | Neurodivergency Affirmation Sticker, thatautisticjoy (redbubble) | Likable, Mary Kethya Khuon | Come Over, Noah Kahan | The Landing, Marie Howe | Calling A Wolf A Wolf, Kaveh Akbar | Two, Sleeping At Last

[text transcription and image ID in alt text]

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hiii I LOVE YOUR WRITING💓💓

I'm a huge Yami simp and id like to request a fic where Yami is struggling to but trying his best to quit smoking cuz his s/o is pregnant? (Bonus: all the black bulls pitch in to help him quit)

Could you please make it Cute but funny too ?

Hiya! Thank you!!! ^^

Oh this was so fun to write, and I hope that you find it cute and funny!

Pairing: Yami Sukehiro x gn!reader (reader is afab) Ft. The Black Bulls Genre: fluff, comdey, slice of life Fanfic type: Oneshot Warnings: references to reader being pregnant, Yami says the "I'll kill you", canon compliant Length: ~0.8k

It had been a couple of weeks since you had told him that you were pregnant. And he had been absolutely over the moon.

At least after he had come down from the happy shock that he had been in, because he could barely have believed it. He could barely have comprehended all the emotions swirling in him, ranging from bliss, through happiness, to fear of being good enough of a father, since there was a small part of him that was terrified of him not being even a decent father since he had had no good role model of his own while growing up. Though someone could have argued that he had gotten a kind of practice with watching after the Bulls.

But that was different. It had been more like… being an uncle. Or just a father figure. But being a father figure wasn’t the same as being a father. So, he was worried.

He was worried about being good enough. For you and your child. Because he did want to be. He wanted to be a good father, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to surpass his own limits in this too. Though there wasn’t really a limit there to begin with, rather than simply trying to be the very best version of himself that he could be.

Which didn’t stop his nerves from being stretched during those first few weeks, because of which he took a cigarette break whenever he could; consuming even more packs a day than before.

But the thing was: he didn’t want to make you inhale the smoke. Or the baby. Which is why he always needed to go outside, far enough from you, so that there’d be no damage.

And he hated having to step away from next to you. Granted that you were still as capable as you were before the pregnancy, since you were so early into it that even the baby bump wasn’t visible. There wasn’t pregnancy cravings or morning sickness just yet, let alone trouble walking or picking up things… Not that he wanted you to be doing any heavy lifting in the first place.

Still. He hated being away from you. And so frequently.

So. Something needed to be done. And that something was to quit smoking.

Going cold turkey would be difficult. But doable. And he figured that it’d be best to get out of the way quickly, so going cold turkey would be what he’d do.

However, to do that he’d need help. Which is why he called a meeting with the Bulls one morning.

“Listen up you buggers,” he said while standing there with his arms crossed. “Your next mission is to help me quit smoking. So, if any of you catch me with a cigarette, or a pack of them, your job is to take it from me.”

Magna raised up his hand. “Can we use anything to do it?”

“Yeah. And if you don’t, I’ll kill ya.”

“You’ll threaten to kill us if we don’t give them to you just as you’ll threaten to kill us if we fail to keep them from you,” Nero pointed out with a monotone voice from the corner.

“I’ll kill you harder if you give them to me.”

“So we get to fight you?” Luck’s eyes sparkled.

“Let’s help Captain Yami!” Asta cheered, being the one to, perhaps, be mots eager to do this, while the hesitance of others was mostly caused by fear of how …ferocious their Captain could be.

But. They would help of course. And they would have done so even if it hadn’t been assigned as a mission.

During the next few weeks, the only one who dared to approach Yami was you, because though his nerves were thin as a hair, you were the only one to whom he not as much as scoffed. Not as much as squinted his eyes.

While for the rest…

“HAND THEM OVER OR I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU!!” Was heard from the distance.

The sound of an explosion.

“Luck! Catch!”

“HAHAHHAHAAA!”

“Rouge!”

“Captain Yami! Think about your health!”

“Seadragon’s Roar!”

“The basement will flood again…”

And meanwhile, you listened to the commotion, giggling to yourself. Because though it was difficult now, Yami would grow out of his smoking habit. You were certain of it. After all, you, and him, had the help of everyone. And after some time, the challenges would change to other kinds.

But you’d still do your best to enjoy the journey, which was quite easy in the grand scheme of things. Quite simply because you were happy, right there and then, with the life you lived.

[loonyoz]

All I’m saying is that id kill for a bg3 characters but Buffy au. I really wanna hear what other people think but here are my ideas so far:

gale as willow cus they both sweet nerds that eventually become powerful magic users (but like kinda problematically). Although i am considering him playing the role of Giles cus he could be using his knowledge as a mentor figure rather than as peer support.

Astarion as Spike cus I feel like that goes without explanation. Idk whichever emo fucked up but lovable vampire works best right?

Wyll as Buffy cus both are charismatic monster hunters weighed down by their responsibility to others. Also Wyll is absolutely the type of bitch to say shit like “well you were mythtaken”.

Maybe lae’zel as Kendra? They’re both very task oriented no bullshit type of people. But if the focus is to make the bg3 6 into season 1 main characters then It’d be kinda funny for her to play the role of Cordelia. Both bitchy and reluctantly helpful but in different ways

Maybe Karlach as Xander? Both have that loyal puppy dog vibe with a dash of horny lol. Problem is that karlach is more the reckless brawn charging in and Xander is more Everyman that’s realistically scared in difficult situations.

Shadowheart as Giles. Both have that sassy “I’m above this shit” attitude but helps anyway and genuinely cares. Both have a dark and mysterious past lol. Idk if that really works for her character tho

I admittedly have yet to finish watching Buffy don’t hate me but this idea has gripped my brain

[utilitycaster]

Hi I read your tags what character do you think it'd be fun for Travis to play if Chet dies in his sleep?? I kinda want Hardcore Caster Travis because Travis as a player with an abundance of spell slots is a delicious idea but idrk!

also throwing in this which I got in the interim!

[id: anonymous ask reading

I have a question/wondering about if (when if statistics have any thing to say about it) Chet dies what class you think Travis will play? Or your thoughts on type of character you would like to see?

(I myself kinda hope he goes for another high int character - maybe a gunslinger would be interesting to continue to balance out the martial classes with spell casters?

But I do think it would be interesting to add another cleric to the party as well. Maybe cleric of the Moon Domain from Taldorei reborn?)]

-----

Ok so Travis is, as I've discussed, on the (noncomprehensive) Emily, Aabria, Lou list of "I trust you implicitly with whatever character you make and even if I'm not initially won over I believe in you." With that said: I agree he should stick to high intelligence in terms of party composition. I also, anon #2, have really liked the idea of cleric. I know a two-cleric party is a lot to DM for but also I think Matt enjoys being able to really throw something big at the party, and while there are two full healers, Fearne is often better used in high damage and FCG's subclass does still make it difficult, plus were Chet to die that would be the loss of one of your three tanks. However, I think moon domain is a little too on the nose for this campaign. I actually would love to see a high-intelligence knowledge cleric: this would grant expertise in some of those key intelligence checks, and while it's far off, the level 17 ability is not unlike grim psychometry, which has already been an absolute delight to watch. I happen to think the read thoughts ability is obviously redundant in this part...but it also is, to be fair, fucking funny to have. Erathis or Corellon for the deity perhaps? I also happen to love twilight cleric just conceptually and for being incredibly powerful, AND for fixing the whole "no darkvision in the party" problem.

Other options: Eldritch knight, though that might be a little similar to Fjord in some of the flavors; or a wizard who is not too much of a glass cannon. Travis is on the short list of people for whom bladesinger would not make me roll my eyes because I think he could actually manage it (as Emily did so well in ACOFAF). I also would love to see another ranger on CR; the class has come a long way since Vex dealt with the unfortunate limitations of Beastmaster, I feel like a Horizon Walker would be attuned to the Moon Bullshit in a way that is different than anyone else in the party, and like...dump charisma and be smart to address the INT needs, and have twin scimitars like Drizzt except with less goofy names to address the Travis Needs Melee To Live (and He's Valid) needs. Really what I think is important is smart, not too glass cannon, low charisma for comedic purposes, and also I think playing someone younger and more obviously shippable even by cowardly people would create chaos in the party and the fandom in ways I would find highly amusing.

[coffin-contemplator]

❝one of tension & gaslighting❞

Summary:

“He would never admit it out loud but the fact that Hoffman is glancing at him so casually makes him more angry than anything else so far. But before he can work himself up any more, they are sat down in that bastard’s office while he goes on a search. Just like that.”

There are two inevitable things in a person’s life; death & asking the local PD for assistance when you work as an FBI agent. Although stubborn as he is, Strahm is relatively sure he could make it through just fine with only one of these remaining. Which one? Your guess is as good as anyone’s. 

Then there’s Perez—fairly younger and therefore more naïve. At least, that might be the case in Special Agent Strahm’s mind. Lindsey, in contrast to her older partner, is all for teamwork if it means access to certain necessary information. There’s not an ounce of judgment in her during these interactions, even though that’s what would be expected from a government worker approaching a representative of regular law enforcement. And yet, nothing. 

(Strahm realises, though, that Lindsey is the kind of person to claw their way to the goal; she’s very efficient like this.)

But neither Strahm’s nor Perez’s perspective of the situation is able to change the fact that they are indeed entering the local police station and that they are indeed showing their official IDs to the receptionist. 

They are let through almost immediately, which only fuels Agent Strahm’s anger (for what reason? He’s not sure, either). Because if this is how they ensure security right by the door, then it’s a fright to think how they proceed with the rest of their work.

Or maybe it’s just because he’s searching for excuses—anything but to admit that the prospect of seeing Detective Hoffman once more bothers him this much. 

Perez is the one leading the conversation, stating clearly the details regarding what they need and require. Her older partner is standing nearby, still annoyed and grumpy, almost like a child taken somewhere they don’t necessarily want to be; unable to take out his energy on anything besides people around. He would never admit it out loud but the fact that Hoffman is glancing at him so casually makes him more angry than anything else so far. 

But before he can work himself up any more, they are sat down in that bastard’s office while he goes on a search. Just like that. 

Strahm keeps stimming, and it’s shamelessly obvious. His leg is bouncing, his right hand clicking that pen he’s gotten from Perez for his last birthday. He clicks and clicks and clicks. His gaze never leaving the wide silhouette moving around the archive a few rooms away. Because yes, a lot of offices in here have these huge windows installed, that let you look right through the whole station without as much as turning all around. And yes, he’s staring, even though he has every possible opportunity not to. 

“Typical of them,” he mutters under his breath, seemingly not addressing anyone in particular (even though he’s the only one who truly believes that). “FBI shows up and suddenly all the essential documents are buried somewhere deep.”

Perez rolls her eyes but says nothing, used to this type of behaviour. She’s perfectly aware that her older coworkers aren’t exactly fond of the colleagues residing further down on the law’s ladder, and she’s learnt a good while ago that arguing on the matter leads exactly nowhere. The stereotypes established years ago are really hard to erase. The only solution is to frustrate quietly and ignore as much as possible, which fortunately isn’t too difficult when Peter is the only other person in the room. 

“That moron.” It’s clear that Strahm’s becoming gradually more agitated by a second, his other hand curling into a ball and clenching the leg of his pants as if desperately preventing itself from punching something. 

Lindsey sighs heavily, bringing her partner’s attention toward herself. She couldn’t care less, though. She’s not going to explain her own irritation, as the cause is something Peter would most likely deny. Even when it’s so obvious and visible. 

“Just look at him,” the older man spits out. And even though she usually doesn’t entertain his moods, it’s not like there’s anything better to do at the moment. So she follows his gaze, observing the detective, almost in the same way he does with suspects when she’s trying to catch something that they don’t want to reveal. Except that right now, there’s really not much to be found. 

“There’s no way he’s going this slow just because,” Strahm continues, without actually paying attention to his partner’s non-verbal responses. If he did, maybe he would’ve noticed the lack of interest sooner. “I bet he’s doing this on purpose, just to fuck with us.”

She wants to bang her head against the nearest wall. Peter couldn’t be more into that detective than he already is, could he? Every time they meet, there’s always all this unnecessary tension—and if that wasn’t enough, it’s only one-sided. Hoffman probably either couldn’t care less, or he’s waiting for the right moment to attack. At least, that’s what Perez chooses to perceive. 

But her patience is running thin. The only reason she even took Strahm along in the first place is because, after the increase of recent killings of law enforcers, the agents are required to move with work partners just to be safe. However, what seemed to be a great decision at a certain time is now taking a toll on her. 

And Strahm continues to complain about Mark…

If Lindsey were to be rational about this, she would probably recall the fact that Peter isn’t doing it to annoy her—he actually might not even be aware of the constant comments escaping his throat. To some degree, she’s probably aware of that still, yet the frustration and exhaustion are slowly taking over. This has been a long day and the substantial lack of leads isn’t helping the case, either. Not to mention that Strahm turns out to be right in one thing, which is Detective Hoffman taking way too long (which may or may not be caused by the fact that he, too, is casting glances toward the older agent, visibly entertained by Peter’s agitation).

God, maybe she should’ve listened to her mother and become a hairdresser like her sister. 

She grimaces at the thought. One of her job chores would probably be gossiping with her customers. No, thank you. She would rather get trapped by Jigsaw (perhaps, that’s a bit of exaggeration, but that brief reflection comes to her mind much later). 

“Fuckin’ asshole thinks he’s smug.”

Perez may lose her mind tonight. 

“Do you not hear yourself?!” She finally explodes. 

In his turn, Strahm’s focus finally moves to something besides Hoffman, his eyes curiously turning to her, completely caught off guard. If she hasn’t known him better, she’d say he may be even slightly concerned.

“I—” he stutters, not sure how to react while faced with Lindsey’s sudden outburst. “What?” He finally chokes out, albeit the reply isn’t especially eloquent. 

She stares at him. Really stares at him; her green eyes narrowing, piercing right through the other agent. Searching, trying to discover whether the man calling himself her partner is actually this oblivious or just really bad at hiding his real intentions. She finds herself leaning forward, elbows coming to rest on her knees, hands clasped. 

Is that guy really this stupid? 

Perez actually wants to ask. By now, she’s craving answers, because there’s absolutely no way these two have nothing going on behind the scenes. The tension, the gruffiness… And what was it about boys and girls and ponytails? Granted, neither appears to be a girl but the sentiment might still work. 

“You’re staring,” she exclaims. It’s somewhat weirdly satisfying, watching as the older agent looks around, checking whether anyone else is listening. Almost as if straight up confirming her suspicions. “You keep commenting, even though that’s the last thing you need to be doing right now,” Lindsey continues, now determined. If she can’t get him to admit the truth at his own pace, then she’s going to push him enough to break through the barrier he seems to have built around himself. 

She thinks some more about the ridiculousness of the situation, all too aware that Strahm’s been through not one but at least two different divorces. He never gave a reason and she never asked, imagining that being in a committed relationship with someone of their profession is sure to be tiring. But now that Perez analyses slowly, perhaps the reason was simpler than she’d anticipated. Maybe, just maybe, the women appearing previously in Peter’s life discovered the same exact thing she happened to stumble upon.

Strahm’s fidgeting brings her back to reality. 

“Well…” he begins cautiously, a light note of insecurity audibly present. “I mean it’s hard not to look when he’s taking all the space in there.” 

Perez freezes. But what’s even funnier is the fact that her partner freezes, too, almost as if just as shocked by his own words as she is.

A subtle grin climbs into her features, the woman realising what she’s just heard was a self-implemented admission. Almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy—a confirmation that her observation skills haven’t, in fact, misguided her. 

Strahm appears to have understood just as much. 

“Did you just—” she chuckles but gets immediately cut off by her partner. 

“I swear, it sounded better in my head—” 

Lindsey would probably continue to tease, enjoying the satisfaction of being right, if it wasn’t for Hoffman who chose right this moment to barge in, a neat pile of documents trying to escape his calloused hands. 

“Got them all,” he grumbles, his gaze avoiding Strahm, almost as if on purpose. “Took a while to find where those rookies put ‘em but everything you need should be in here.” 

It takes all her willpower for Perez to let go of her private voyages and focus once again on the job. It’s alright, though. She’ll make sure to bully Peter some more the next time she’s given the opportunity. 

She smiles at the detective. 

“We appreciate your help.”

Note: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Consider checking this fic on AO3 if you feel like it!

[rfxn-emulator]

Go ahead, give us the 5 page paragraph lore about Cho, im encouraging you to do it :]

Whelp, it's your funeral hehe.

Cholini Cortado is a 20-year-old nonbinary pansexual individual hailing from Andalusia who recently moved to America to escape an abusive home life. As the youngest of three siblings, Cholini harbors deep-seated envy towards those they perceive as superior to them and often puts on a cocky facade to mask their underlying anxiety. Though prone to escalating arguments, Cholini is known to break down in private, revealing a vulnerable side that few get to see.

They have debilitating myopia and stand at just 3'6 due to dwarfism, although they have defaced their ID to read "BIG" as a means of asserting their self-worth. Cholini works part-time at a café and spends their free playing 2D games like platformers, deck builders, and farm sims. They also have a passion for collecting items like plushies, train sets, and trading cards, and will enthusiastically share their expertise on any topic of interest.

Cholini is meticulous about everything they do, demonstrated by their expansive D&D campaign, as well as being a digital artist, though they'll never show their work. Due to being allergic to cats and fearing dogs, Cholini dotes on their iguana, Chelsea, whom they affectionately refer to as a dragon. They share a living space with their roommate, Donato, who often blows up balloons just to terrorize them.

Despite their tough exterior, Cholini is a deeply caring individual who goes out of their way to help those in need, in often unorthodox ways. They struggle with trusting others due to their difficult past, but once someone gains their trust, Cholini is fiercely loyal and protective.

ʸᵉˢ ᴵ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᴬᴵ ᵗᵒ ʷʳᶦᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᴵ'ᵐ ˢʰᶦᵗ ᵃᵗ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᶦᵛᵉ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶦᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵃˡʳᵉᵃᵈʸ ᵗᵉᵈᶦᵒᵘˢ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵈᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᶦᵗ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ

If this is a dissatisfactorally short yapping session I encourage asking any specific questions, no matter how stupid it may seem, cause I did attempt to avoid like really stupid useless information (like favorite cereals and shit) to avoid making it actually unreadable

Edit: As a DM I'm a big believer of show don't tell type character writing and am bad at designing my characters down to the details but can answer anything with confidence and canonicity if asked specifically, so I'll always give faster more concise lore if asked questions. No matter how long I work on a list, it would never have every detail of their life because I physically can't think that far in advance and honestly I can't even remember my own life without being asked specifics. If I was instructed to tell you everything I know about any character no matter how often I think of them, like Cho, AP Fakey, or any of my campaign characters. I genuinely couldn't tell you anything other than major events and personality. But, if I was asked something specific (IE: "how does your Fakey's anatomy work" or "what's your headcanon for everyone's favorite movie genre") I could make a genuine yapping post that wouldn't need to be written by AI. Making lists would restrain my creativity when it comes to art, because if all their history is already known, I'd have no motivation to draw it.

TLDR: I'm good at improv, bad at memory

Asking specific questions will get you an answer

[agirlwithdemonblood]

Celebrity Next Door - Chapter 2

Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)

Series Summary: Moving to a new location is difficult but living next to somebody you’d never expect to meet, and catching feelings? That’s damn near impossible to comprehend.

Chapter Summary: You stand up for yourself to your new neighbour, with no hope of ever getting close to him.

Warnings: Heavy angst! Jensen is a dick, anxiety, tears, fighting, swearing.

Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!

“How are you liking Los Angeles so far?” 

I chuckled at the question my boss, Angela, asked me and shrugged my shoulders, “It’s not what I expected.. But I didn’t give it a proper chance yet.”

She smiled and nodded, “Don’t worry, you will learn to love it! You find who you are pretty quickly here, also the amount of celebrities you will probably meet or run into is endless.”

I laughed at that one, Celebrities. Yeah, that would be fun to meet more celebrities.

I bit my tongue as I debated on mentioning the encounter with my brand new, grumpy ass celebrity neighbor yesterday but she knew where I lived, it probably wasn’t a good idea to leak his address to others.

“And your new office? Is it okay?” She questioned nervously. 

I grinned and looked around the wide room that was now mine, a huge benefit that came with moving to Los Angeles in the first place; the promotion and the office.

A little backstory; I was promoted to Regional Manager of a slightly well-known insurance Company, one that my father worked at many years ago, and thankfully managed to get me an “in” as a receptionist until I built my way to the top, and here I finally was.

“It’s perfect, the office I had in New York was small and stuffy, I swear I could move my bed in here if I wanted to.”

She laughed and nodded, smiling widely like she always did. Another benefit of working here, being surrounded by her happy spirit. 

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it! It’s great to have you on our team Y/N!”

I smiled widely and nodded, “Thank you, Angela!

The day went by as slowly as possible, there wasn’t much to do on the first day other than learning how things work in this office, meeting your co-workers, getting your proper ID and keys from security, and filling out a bunch of contracts and forms. It wasn’t much different than how the New York Branch ran things. The same type of clients, same responsibilities except just a little more added onto my plate. 

Finally, the clock hit 5:00 pm and I was free to head home. I climbed into my truck and sighed, as much as I was enjoying the new start and the opportunities, I’ve never felt more alone in this city.

New York was always moving, it was never quiet. You were never alone, not really. You were always beside somebody, with somebody, or around somebody. The only time you were ever alone there was at your house and at that point, it was nice to be alone after considering how much time you’ve spent in public. 

I was not used to being this alone though. 

The drive home was fast and quiet. I pulled into my parking lot, instantly noticing a figure standing at my doorway, his back turned towards me. 

I guardingly climbed out of my car, slamming the car door loud enough to bring attention to the man. When he finally turned around, my breath caught in my throat.

Jensen.

I smiled nervously and locked the car, making my way towards him.

“Uh... Hi.” I whispered sheepishly. 

He plastered on a dry smile and shoved his hands into his black hoodie pockets, not showing any reason why he could be here after our encounter yesterday. 

“Hi. We didn’t properly meet yesterday. I’m Jensen.”

I smiled politely and stepped closer, extending my hand towards him but the awkwardness filled me when he didn’t seem to care or make a move to do the same. I retracted my hand and crossed my arms, trying so damn hard to keep the anxiety from showing. “I’m Y/N.”

He nodded and his mouth curled into a smile that I couldn’t place, he halfway looked amused and looked annoyed.

“Well…” He started, his eyes reaching mine causing him to freeze. He blinked a few times before his eyes moved back towards his feet. “I uh… How much was the window? I’ll pay for the damage done.” I shrugged my shoulders and leaned against my railing, “It’s already taken care of, don’t worry about it.”

His expression become confused like he didn’t understand the words that came out of my mouth or if I was even speaking english. “Katie broke it, I’m happy to reimburse you.”

I shook my head and stood straighter, the nerves slowly dissipating the more he softened.

“It’s fine, I work for an insurance company so I pretty much got it fixed for free. Plus, you might want to save the money for the next time she breaks a window.” I joked.

I regretted it as soon as it left my mouth.

His expression changed from the soft Jensen I just encountered, to the same aggressive and annoyed one that I met yesterday.

“Sorry, that was a joke… my horrible attempt to lighten the mood,” I spoke regretfully.

He nodded and stepped down the stairs past me, mumbling goodnight before he disappeared to his own house.

If I could reach behind me and kick myself in the ass for my stupid comment, I would have. 

I’ve never been good with speaking with others, not really. I know, a big part of my job is communicating with clients but for some reason that was always easier, it was like reading from a script, I didn’t need to show emotion or be vulnerable. 

But when it came to speaking to actual human beings, having a conversation, opening up, that I was terrible at. 

It’s something I always faked, the confidence. People wouldn’t guess it by looking at me, but I was a pretty anxious person, I kept to myself most of the time. It seemed like with Jensen, my secret was becoming unraveled. 

The next morning I set up my computer in the room I chose to be my office, now that I was the regional manager I was able to work from the comfort of my own home two days a week. It was very much well needed for me to ease into this new lifestyle, I could be comfortable in my own environment, my own clothing, I didn’t need to speak to anybody, except for any meetings we had. 

After our second meeting of the day, I pulled off my headphones when the sounds of somebody shouting filled my ears. I peaked out the window and spotted Jensen on his porch, his voice booming loud enough to echo around the house like an earthquake. 

I pushed away from my desk and stepped out onto the porch to see if he needed any help, even though we haven’t gotten off on the right foot, I wanted to be neighborly and offer… something, if he needed it. 

But I won’t lie, it wasn’t completely selfless. I felt this need inside to make sure he was alright, to be close enough in case he needed somebody to talk to or even yell at if that would help him. I felt this weird, powerful pull towards him.

His voice only got louder as he clutched the phone to his face so tightly you swore it would snap in half any second. 

“You knew I had a fucking audition today, and you decide to let me know half an hour before I leave, that you can’t make it? Are you kidding me?”

I waited, cringing at the way he spits his words like venom, whoever was on the line crossed a line with him. “Whatever, yeah I’ll miss it. It’s fine. Have fun at the spa De.”

With that, he hung up and sat on his stairs, head in his hands looking defeated. My heart clenched for him, as much as he was a grade a jerk half the time i’ve encountered him, I couldn’t help but feel like there was an underlying issue to his additude. 

I stayed in my spot and glanced towards him. I don’t know if he could see me from where I was standing on my porch but if he could, he probably would have screamed at me for the way I was watching him, staring at him, trying to read him. 

He shook his head in his hands and swore loud enough for me to hear it and I felt my heart break slightly in my chest. I knew I needed to offer some help, clearly he had somewhere important to be and I could always offer to watch the kids while he goes, maybe that will smooth things over between us or at least offer a friendly face in the neighborhood. 

I crossed my yard to his gate and nervously opened it before approaching where he still was sat on the stairs. His head was still in his hands, his back moving up and down like he was attempting to breathe. 

I cleared my throat and his head shot up, his eyes glaring at mine instantly.

“Hi... I just wanted…” I started before I was rudely interrupted.

He scoffed and kept his head low, “Look, it was nice meeting you the other day but I don’t know what you think is going to happen here. We are not that type of neighbors, you don’t need to keep coming over uninvited.”

My smile dropped, my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, “What?”

“Is it because you know who I am? That why you keep coming over? You know who I am and you what? Want to creep? Want to get close to your famous neighbor? Want the inside scoop?.”

This time I couldn’t hold it back, I scoffed and backed up slightly, hurt and anger filling me. I wasn’t normally a confronting type of person, but this man knew how to push my buttons. 

“Are you fuckin’ kidding? First off Jensen, yes I know who you are but respectfully, I couldn’t care less. To me, your my neighbor, my grumpy ass neighbor who happens to be famous. The reason I came over here was to offer some help, or somebody to talk to considering you were just screaming so loud the entire damn block could hear you, but forget it, your an asshole. Screw being neighborly.”

His mouth hung open as he struggled to find words, I don’t even know if he heard me but I didn’t care. I didn’t want a response. I quickly stormed off and back to my own house, anger bubbling in my chest like sparkling water. My mind was clouded with anxiety and nerves and I felt like I was going to collapse.

As soon as I shut the door, reality came rushing back as his words and my own filled my head. I hated the fact that I felt like I was suffocating over a stupid argument with him, I hated that the tears were prickling at my eyes threatening to pour, I hated that he caused me to be vulnerable and show a side of me I didn’t even know I had. 

And  I hated that I lived beside him. I hated that I ever knocked at his door in the first place. 

I was done trying with him, done saying hello, offering a smile, and caring. I was fed up, finished. 

Jensen Ackles was not a nice person and I was done trying to be nice to somebody like him.

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! Like, comment and repost!

[tiredassmage]

swtor secret santa 2023

Happy Life Day @sheyshen! I got to be your Secret Santa this year! <3 I hope the holidays were kind and the new year brings you good energy!

There was so many delightful opportunities provided in your requests, half of my battle with this was choosing what to do! Finally settled on the chance to write a nice little pre-trip holiday moment for Ava and Jonas; I hope I've done them some justice and you enjoy! <3

~x~

Ava eyed the recipe laid out on her counter, carefully propped against the wall so she could see it over the arrangement of ingredients and supplies. This one had been fine-tuned over several years of family gatherings on Coruscant - handwritten as a testament to both care and age, a few pages pockmarked with notations of variations tried because of a different ingredient appearing in one of the markets or a hand that had been a bit overeager on the pouring and whisking here or there.

Usually, she’d like to wait and their mother’s kitchen on Coruscant would be packed tight with the kind of warmth and laughter that’d make any baked delights all the better - the “secret ingredient,” as it were. It was the kind of thing you’d move hyperlanes for, no matter how increasingly difficult the galaxy seemed intent on making that feel.

She frowned slightly and squinted down at the page, trying to discern a scratched measurement. It might be tighter this year, given everything. Frankly, she’d count it one of her miracles that herself or Jonas were free for any period of the holiday season.

She had briefly interrogated Jonas with a suspiciously quirked brow and an amused slant to her lips. She couldn’t entirely pass up the suspicion his quick smirk and easy lines about it being far too long since he’d last seen her ‘in her element’ weren’t to blame for some level of it.

For most, it was probably easier to imagine Jonas Balkar cutting deals with that sly tongue of his to get out of paperwork and reporting than saddling himself with more of it, but… Jonas wasn’t the most subtle creature she’d met. She could recall at least a fair handful of times such a moniker for the fellow spy may have made her roll her eyes.

That frown of concentration deepened a bit as a comm ring threatened to interrupt her careful mix of ingredients. A part of her nearly sighed instinctively; the odds that it was work related were historically not exactly in her favor and such interruptions had been almost suspiciously lacking over the last several days she’d been able to spend on last-minute shopping and packing for the still-hopeful trip back to Coruscant. Assuming this wasn’t such an interruption-

She brushed her hands through a towel quickly before reaching to answer the call. Eyeing the ID couldn’t bring anything but a smile to her lips. “Hey, stranger.”

“Stranger?” Jonas huffed in mock-offense, “And here I was hoping you might’ve been thinking of me. I wasn’t gone that long, was I?”

“Hmm,” Ava considered for a moment, feigning putting quite a bit of thought into the matter. “I don’t know… You’re the elusive type, after all. Maybe I thought you disappeared into some Mid-Rim sunset, never to be heard of again.”

Jonas shrugged. “Don’t try too hard to make it sound romantic now,” he teased. That lopsided teasing grin had been historically exasperating, but now..? Ava struggled to suppress a giggle. “Say though, you wouldn’t happen to be home, now, would you?”

Ava’s eyes narrowed as she paused, whisk in hand. “You’re up to something.”

“Can’t a guy earnestly inquire about his darling?”

“Jonas.” Ava cocked her head pointedly, a grin starting to struggle against the pseudo-interrogation.

“Well, you could at least let a guy in,” he said. “You know, it’s quite cold in some parts of the galaxy this time of year.”

“What?” She blinked in surprise.

“Answer the door, silly!” Jonas laughed.

And he was still chuckling when Ava found him at her door, a gloved hand over his mouth doing a poor job of masking that grin of his. “Really?!” she said, “You called? To answer the door.”

Another barely-contained laugh shook his shoulders. “All worth it to see the look on your face,” he said. Then, with a fairly theatrical flair, he offered a half-bow. “‘Honey, I’m home?’ better suit you?” Ava rolled her eyes and gave a tug on his arm to pull him inside. “Fret not,” he soothed, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, “I haven’t come empty-handed.”

“Who exactly did you bribe to get both of us free?” Ava questioned.

Jonas held up a free hand with a single finger raised. “Ah, ah,” he scolded lightly, “I haven’t even played my whole hand yet.” Another grin appeared as his other hand came back out of his jacket with his datapad. “For you, my dear.”

Ava’s nose crinkled and leaned back against the counter as she took it from him. “If this is reports you’ve dodged filing-”

“Now, now, that wouldn’t be such a merry way to spend the holidays.” He nodded again to the screen. “Go on. It isn’t going to be the season forever.”

Ava shook her head and checked what he’d left pulled up on the screen: ticket confirmations.

For Coruscant.

For both of them.

“Jonas!” Her eyes went wide. She tucked the datapad tight against her chest. “Who did you bribe for this?”

“Bribery?” Jonas shrugged. Only a kitten could match that kind of mischievous innocence in that crooked smile and glinting eyes. “I’ve not the faintest clue what you could possibly be suggesting of my fine character.”

She elbowed his arm. “Not to accuse you of modesty,” she teased as he huffed again, “but… thank you. I know the kind of work you dodged for both of us.”

“‘Dodging’ isn’t quite the word I’d use for it,” he grumbled lightly.

Ava giggled, “You know what I mean.” She checked his datapad again. “Well, we better get packing, I guess.” She elbowed him again, a bit sharper. “And just when I’d started another batch.”

“I’m sure I know a few other favors to take some along,” Jonas said with another smile. “C’mon then, I'll help you. They certainly don’t make themselves.”

“I do know where they tend to disappear.” She handed his datapad back over and tugged at his jacket. “You could at least make yourself comfortable. Look like you’ll stay awhile.”

Jonas rolled his eyes playfully and stepped out of the kitchen to hang it up. “Just long enough. We’ll have a flight to catch in a few days.”

[wheelie-butch]

Lupa Howl OC Lore Dump

Typed up all this for the monprom server so thought I might as well share it here too :) it's some basic background on my monster prom Oc Lupa and her main relationships.

Lupa Howl (23) is Scott and the Wolfpack’s *other* cousin. Her werewolf mum has her in prison and her human dad ran off, so she grew up passed around various mostly human relatives on her dad's side. This gave her strong abandonment issues and a shame attached to being a werewolf, as whenever she got passed onto a new family member she assumed it was because they couldn't handle how unruly she was or her monthly transformations. Growing up, she'd occasionally spend parts of the summer staying with her grandma + Scott + The Wolfpack and though she didn't know them well, those weeks were the highlight of her childhood.

She loves boxing and hoped to go pro, but those dreams were scuppered by an injury to her hand which limits her motor control. She's taken up kickboxing as an alternative, but she's lost her ambition. Her new disability is part of the reason she's come to live with her grandma + cousins now as she needs a bit more support at home, but she's so far hidden her disability from her cousins and everyone at school. Her abandonment issues contribute to her really valuing independence and seeing relying on anyone else as weakness, so it's difficult for her to ever admit she needs anything from others.

Now she's started at Spooky High, she's had some trouble fitting in. She doesn’t make friends easily, but she's hot-headed and competitive. The biggest issue is she's an incorrigible womaniser and serial heartbreaker, deliberately stringing along girls until they fall in love with her, then abruptly ghosting them. It's a coping mechanism for her abandonment issues (cant get abandoned again if you abandon everyone else first!!) but it pisses off a lot of people.

Her main friend is Dahlia, who she was unable to successfully ghost after seducing due to Dahlia's friendship with Scott and the Wolfpack so they're always running into each other. Dahlia doesn't seem bothered by their one night stand being a one time thing, she's just happy to hang out and do gym stuff together, and her constancy as a friend has led Lupa to start falling for her for real.

Lupa has a sometimes turbulent relationship with her cousins. She's only a month older than the Wolfpack but has always acted like she's much older and growing up she basically seemed like this super mature super cool awesome figure to them all. She had a fake ID first, bought the wolfpack their first beers, told them about dating girls, basically any cool teenager thing she did first and better and bragged to them about it. In the same way Scott looks up to the Wolfpack and thinks they're cool and wants their approval even though they're sometimes mean to him, the Wolfpack think Lupa rules and want her approval a lot even though she's often pretty mean to them. She often makes fun of them for being losers, not being able to date anyone, and especially she thinks they're very babyish for wanting to be a pack and not doing anything along. Since she sees relying on others as weakness, she thinks they're very lame and weak and that by bullying them she's actually helping because they 'need to toughen up' etc. Despite this, she does love them (will never admit out loud) and they have good times together too. Being closer in both age and temperment she can often get on better with them than Scott.

With Scott her relationship is difficult in other ways. He loves her and thinks she's great, and she thinks he's much more grownup and cool than the wolfpack (since he doesnt have the abandonment issues making him so pack-minded, he dates, and has hobbies beyond football), but she does still mostly see him as a kid. She doesn’t fully respect him as an equal which means he's easier to be around, but they cant be truly close yet. She'll often tell the wolfpack to be more like Scott and he's uncomfortable being put in the middle of their arguments. They share a room now she lives with him which he's happy about but it also puts strain on things. Lupa also slightly resents that Scott got to grow up in a werewolf household with his grandma and cousins and seems to love being a werewolf, as she was told when she was little she couldn't live with her grandma because she had her hands full with the Wolfpack, yet when Scott came along and then got abandoned he ended up with her. So sometimes Lupa compares herself to how cheerful and loveable Scott is and thinks maybe her grandma would have taken her in sooner if she was a better grandkid like him.

[redscharms]

I can't find my old post on Hong Joong's personality reading, so here's me reposting it (so freaking happy I kept a copy on my notes on this one)

Another group piqued my interest.

Ateez.

So, I did quick personality readings for them.

I don’t know the boys of the group yet, this is all based purely on my Tarot reading and intuition.

In a way this is me trying to get back to Tarot and testing my rusty skills.

Kim Hong Joong personality reading

He’s really intense. I’m just looking at his photo and reading the cards for now.

There’s a certain darkness in him, deep and dangerous. Another side to him that he’s not uncomfortable with.

He’s not necessarily proud of it but he’s not ashamed of it either.

Hardworking, proud and stubborn.

Keeps things to himself. Wary of others and only few people know ‘the real him’.

And these people are the ones he trusts the most.

He’s very intuitive. He can ‘feel’ other people and their intentions. Can immediately recognize a ‘shitty’ person and his attitude towards that person will be very cold. He’s not interested in showing any type id interest towards people he doesn’t like. Stays away from them, to him these people as if don’t exist at all.

Has hard time hiding his annoyance or disgust.

If he has to interact with people he doesn’t like, he’ll do it with cold politeness.

Great at playing the devil’s advocate.

Forgives but never forgets.

Loves money and can spend huge amounts of it on himself and people he loves.

For the people he cares about he would go to great lengths. He’s possessive of his belongings and his relationships.

Petty jealousy is something he can be guilty of.

Loves to make sure everyone he cares about are living a comfortable life but he also knows the importance of learning from your own mistakes and overcoming difficulties to cherish your accomplishments. So, he would never step in to help someone when he sees that it’s not his responsibility to do so.

Despite all the not so positive description so far, Hong Joong seems to be a very decent person. Extremely hard working, minding his own business and trustworthy.

He can be selfish but not to the point of stepping on others people heads.

He values integrity and morals.

He seems to be a very complex, slightly difficult to deal with, but overall nice human being.

He seems like someone who can be extremely patient one day and hotheaded the next one.

He is responsible and seems to be ready to take more responsibility than he can physically handle but because he’s so stubborn, he’ll burn himself out but he’ll do everything that he said he would.

Very competitive.

Not about cheating but will be extremely salty if he sees someone else cheat.

Can’t just ‘chill and play’.

Every game to him is a life or death competition.

A little but of a hoarder? Like has too many clothes for example. If someone threw away some of his very old stuff he wouldn’t even remember he had them to notice.

Mini sugar daddy.

Spends too much money on other if he’s in a good mood and he likes the person.

Never expects anything in return, very genuine in his affection.

But he appreciates a lot when the person is equally attentive in return.

If he lost his interest or worse if he’s disappointed in someone, that someone will never regain Hong Joong’s trust and sympathy.

He’ll become cold and distant towards them.

He can get extremely petty.

Mood swings.

One day he might approve the most stupid idea and the other day he’ll smack you in the face saying that you must be an idiot to suggest something like that.

Don’t let him near gambling games.

He’s a romantic. Idealistic but also pessimistic about it.

Probably believes in soulmates but doesn’t believe he’ll meet one.

Hopes for world peace but also wants to see the world burn. (Oh, that’s something I can relate too 😂 I like this guy ahahahah)

Likes children… okay that was random.

But he seems to want a family but also somehow keep his independence.

[safetycar-restart]

Ive been thinking about this for so long but dont know how down you are for semi angst, more like hurt/comfort headcanons... what are the boys apology styles like, say they say something they dont mean, i think of little charles just immediately bursting into tears as soon as he realizes what he saud, i see him as always sort of on the precipice to being little so i inagine when hes overwhelmed and he upsets mommy it just gets so much worse 😭

Little max on the flip side i see not being willing to admit what he did, i almost think of him as someone who just walks away, feelsbad and tries to silently make it up to you.i see his dom/mommy making him hold himself accountable though. I think it would honestly be a trauma response to his dad where he would just try to not stir the pot and move on, he also probably learned it from him cause i dont see that man apologizing... basically just like unlearning those behaviours so they can be healthy and happy together.

Id live to hear your thoughts on anyone else. i just dont have as certain feelings about the others in my head as these two ... exceot fir lando, hes a brat that takes ot too far repeatedly and then is a crybaby qbout it

I don’t know if it’s different people asking this style of question with littles or the same person but either way, I would die for you all of you I love this type of thing so much.

CHARLES:

All Charles wants, whether little or big, is to make his mommy happy, that's it. He tries so hard, but when he's little he's just so small and so vulnerable and there are so many things he can't do. He gets so overwhelmed very quickly, and it can lead to a meltdown very easily because the poor thing just doesn't know what to do.

He doesn't mean to be rude to his mommy, but everything is loud and scary and he doesn't know what to do and the next thing he knows, he's pushing you and away and yelling at you to stay away and curling in on himself. He doesn't mean it, he just doesn't know what to do or how to cope.

The actual meltdown doesn't matter the moment he's realised what he's done. Then he's having a whole other meltdown, crying his little heart out and begging for forgiveness, promising that he can be good boy, that he will be a good boy.

Of course you just hold him close and comfort him, promising him that you know he didnt mean it and was just overwhelmed. He sticks to your side for the rest of the day, like he's scared you might actually leave him if he can't see you at all times.

GEORGE:

I know you didnt mention George, but I want to talk about him because I think he would actually only apologise once he's in his adult headspace again?

He's so small when he regresses, mostly too small to even speak properly and far too small to realise that he might have hurt you with something. He can be quite fussy sometimes, especially when he's overtired and he just cant settle. He doesn't realise he's being difficult, and he really doesn't mean to, but he's just too small and can't express himself properly.

You two always get there in the end. And within an hour or two he's cuddled up in you arms, napping or listening to a story and being your sweet little boy.

But once he's back to his adult headspace, he'll remember how fussy he was and how much more work than usual he was and he'll come to you with his tail between his legs and apologise. Every single time he tells you that he understands if you don't want to be his caregiver anymore, which is absolutely ridiculous because that will never happen.

He'll often bring you flowers or chocolates or a book to say thank you for dealing with him, and he just loves you so so much.

MAX:

I definitely agree that Max really struggles to work through whatever he's done wrong. And yeah, it's absolutely a trauma response from his childhood. When max was younger, the only option when he made a mistake was punishment. That's it. There was no talking it through, no trying to understand or making it better. It was just instant punishment and being screamed it.

Because of this, max learned to hide whenever he had done something wrong because he didnt want to be punished like that. He would just try and make up for it in some other way.

Of course this usually fails because he cant properly take care of whatever has happened on his own. He's too small to clean up the milk he spilt or fix the picture he ripped or wash his dirty clothes. He needs you to do those things for him.

You can always tell when max has done something wrong or made a mistake, because he'll hide from you. Usually, max always wants to be with you. Not necessarily on top of you or even next to you, but he always wants to be able to see you and know you're close by. So if more than a few minutes have gone by with Maxie in a different room... then you know something has happened.

The first few times, max just starts sobbing instantly, so bad that you actually worry he might make himself sick. And it's over something that honestly doesn't warrant that reaction? He spilled some milk and now he's sobbing on the floor.

However, unlike Charles, you can't just clean up and comfort max, because he'll continue to feel bad and guilty and not let himself enjoy his time with you because he doesn't think he deserves it.

I think natural consequences would be best for max? He split his milk, so he doesn't get anymore milk. He had an accident, so he must help you clean up and then be in diapers, etc. You always talk it through with him very nicely and very slowly, praising him for being so good about it and helping him work through it all.

You're so proud of him the day he comes to you and tells you that he knocked over his sippy cup and now there is juice all over the floor, because he finally understood that he wouldn't be punished the way he was when he was younger.

[eveningspirit]

Many initial reviews of The Peripheral point out that the relationship between the main characters -- siblings -- is a highlight of the show. I want to sign under that statement with both hands. Flynne and Burton Fisher are dynamite.

Here be a review. With pictures

(because no one’s giffing this show yet, and I don’t know how ;) )

Burton is a gamer, ten years in the future, who gets people past difficult levels for money. The trick is that his sister Flynne is an effing genius when it comes to games, and sometimes (often?) it’s actually her who does the job.

[ID: Burton, shirtless, sits in a gamer chair, VR glasses covering half of his face, a device the size of a cellphone in his hands. He’s inside an old, messy airstream.]

[ID: Buton is still in his chair and still shirtless, some tattoos on his shoulders. VR glasses are transparent now. Flynne stands next to him, clearly angry.]

What I liked about that first interaction (in context of the whole episode, don’t get me wrong) is that they argue, Flynne is exasperated with Burton (I will get to the reason in the second part of this review). He blows her off, ignores her accusations and tells her to finish the level for him, because he “has to pee”. And she does it, sits in his chair and enters the game, grumbling that she’s late already.

That’s such a sibling dynamics. 

And then we have it juxtaposed with this moment:

[ID: Burton smiles]

“You know how proud I am of you, right? How good you are at this.”

[ID: Flynn looks up (at Burton) with an expression better described below]

Just look at her face. That’s a little sister who’s craving for her big brother’s approval, and is happy to receive it. And he knows very well she’s better than him, and he’s not threatened by it. There’s love, right there.

And constant bickering.

“Far as I can tell, [in the game] you’re gonna be a version of me.” “I should probably act a little dimwitted, then.”

or

“I was actually in your body!” “Felt like an upgrade, I bet.” “No, it felt fucking weird is what it felt like.”

Too many to quote. There are serious arguments there too, and there is an attempt to bond, which I loved. But first, I gotta introduce the second thing that made me fall for this show.

#

Burton is ex-military (so I have a type, so?). But future military, which means he’s equipped with something called “haptics”.

[ID: a closeup of Burton’s back, with a pattern of outlined shapes along his spine. Some lines end in circles the size of a dime, and some of those circles are blinking]

Those things are supposed to connect him with other soldiers in his unit, who happen to be his childhood friends (there’s an in-universe explanation for that) from the same small rural town in South Carolina. I don’t know if haptics enhance the soldiers’ physical abilities, but mostly the tool makes them act like one, and also allows them instant feedback from things like drones and whatnot. I won’t get into how it all works, the show does it better. ;) I’ll just say that those haptics cause pain.

Now, Burton and Flynne live with their mother (Flynne and Momma in the house, Burton in the airstream next to it), who has brain tumor and is also in a great deal of pain.

That first scene up there, where Flynne is angry at Burton, it’s her accusing him of stealing Momma’s pain pills (which are expensive and only accessible on black market because it’s ten years later... dystopia, much?). She later learns that in fact he was giving Momma his own pills, claiming that “he didn’t need them as much anymore”, when in fact he does need them. But Momma needs them more, right? And then Flynne apologizes for her accusations, and tries to get Burton to talk to her about all this, the pain and what he’s dealing with.

[ID: Flynne sits in the chair in the airstream, she looks somewhat uncertain. Burton stands next to her, fiddling with the gaming gizmo.]

Of course Burton blows her off, they bicker a little, but it’s clear that he appreciates her apology. And appreciates her -- in general.

Just one more picture, from the next episode, when it becomes clear that the game is something else, and that it’s not as much fun as they’d initially imagined. Flynne has to go back in. She’s scared, but Burton’s right there, literally holding her hand.

[ID: Flynne in the chair, in the head-set, with Burton facing her and reaching for her hand]

That’s just episode one and a glimpse of episode two. There’s a lot more good in this show, not to mention the main plot and the mystery, which is mind-blowing. Really good stuff. I can’t recommend this show enough!

It’s only been three episodes so far, the fourth comes out tomorrow morning. I can’t wait!

[letsrearise]

Season 1 retrospective part IV: ReArise's resident edgelord: Hiragii Takumi.

Takumi is, simply put, an ass. He's very much the jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold type, but his writing has enough texture and facets to make him fun to follow (extra emphasis in fun, given how season one's uneven pacing lends some hilarity to his arc).

[Image id: Screenshot showing Dorugamon Takumi with his arm extended forward and his hand outstretched. He's frowning gravely and his dialogue reads "You're the strongest Digimon. Let's go prove that to them."]

The weight of the world on your shoulders.

Upon meeting Takumi in the train wagon, one thing is clear: he's rude. While he will say things like "Don't get in the way" and "We're fine on our own", there's also another thing he will consistently repeat through the first act, the third, the first library incident and even as far as act 10, that is— that Digital Points are dangerous and you ought to stay away from them. His prickly attitude is both rooted in pride as well as a genuine belief others aren't equipped to deal with such dangers; whether because they're weak or don't have enough mental fortitude. He bluntly says as much to Herissmon, Michi and Mayu multiple times. Thus, he constantly declares that Dorumon and him will handle the issue alone and you should all go home. Or, alternatively, he'll silently judge you for your decision to get involved, even as he disguises it by dismissively telling Dorumon "Let them do what they want".

The fact he acts out of a sense of responsibility and rightness to deal with what others can't is pointed out through Mayu's act-10 assertion that he will help people in need. Takumi, of course, disregards her remark and questions her abrasively. This is because Takumi hates softening his words for the sake of saving face, and for him it's more important the others realize they're out of their depth than being nice. He values direct, truthful feedback even if he errs on the side of "brutal honesty".

More than acting for the sake of being good to others, Takumi takes on the responsibility because he's the one with power and means to do so. This is outright confirmed by his remark during the fight against Chaosdramon about how only he and Dorumon should be the ones to face the risks—as well as them alone having to face the consequences should they fail to rise to the occasion.

Strength and Independence.

During act 3, Takumi declares he and Dorumon aren't like the others, which is evidenced through the fact Dorumon can evolve. When in a rough spot, Takumi's mantra is that they're the strongest and can tackle anything that comes their way. His iron-fisted, unwavering confidence to tackle difficult situations, alongside his obstinateness, are arguably his chief traits. It's clear Takumi values strength as means for independence, which often puts him at odds with the others. He values being able to solve the challenges before him on his own as proof of his own capacity and power. This recursive and mutually strengthening nature to his values is the source of his fortitude and certainty over himself, which makes him extremely reticent to accept the others or act as a team.

Even so, he gradually starts recognizing the Tamers' mettle and seeing the value in acting together as a team as the threat the Spirals pose keeps on growing and exceeds their individual capacities, as evidenced through acts 10 to 13. This fraught, budding trust in the others runs face first into his pride and well-hidden fears. If there's one good thing about Keito being the first one to unlock the perfect stage is that it shook Takumi's confidence in himself. Takumi's self-assuredness over his own capacities is tied to his view of himself as the strongest/best, so we get to see a spark of envy and insecurity when this notion is challenged.

Dorugreymon's debut act is marked by Takumi's regression to his lone-wolf behavior, even more over-the-top now he's pushing his partner past what's reasonable. Perhaps shockingly, the fact they both double down on this attitude is what triggers the perfect evolution. This makes sense because it's a reaffirmation of their sense of self and values, but it's a little hilarious that their regression in behavior seems partly rewarded in this act. Still, Dorugreymon's brief remark that this wasn't done solely for their pride but also out of genuine worry over Herissmon's rampaging and their desire to be able to handle the situation should it arise again is a nice touch all the same.

Sunken cost fallacy.

Still, Dorugreymon's evolution act left the most troubling aspects of Takumi's behavior unaddressed — that is, his overconfidence and absurdly aggressive independence being reckless and harmful. While the pacing makes Gaiomon's debut feel jarring given Dorugreymon just evolved literally two acts before it, and the repetitiveness to the scenario (Takumi stubbornly pushing his partner past what's reasonable and insisting on acting alone) can make Takumi appear as though he ping-pongs back and forth too much during his development, it's still nice to see him get his first real wake-up call about how inconsiderate and ill-advised his behavior is with death appropriately looming over Dorugreymon.

Watching Takumi get grilled by everyone is equally satisfying. It's also important for him to accept others' feedback of his actions in order to get pushed to do better. Gaiomon is the perfect ultimate evolution for him, given how driven he is by his quest for strength and self-reliance. It's also nice to see his steely moral abiding shine through in a positive light.

This last stretch, with his perfect and ultimate evolutions, but also his reluctance to leave the town to its luck during the finale—even if he needs to join the others to help contain Rasenmon fury mode—give nice depth to his character, adding something more to his edgelord behavior from earlier in the season beyond tropey behavior. His constant, self-destructive insistence to deal with his issues alone fueled by his strong values hint nicely to his tendency to fall into Sunken Cost Fallacies and his struggle to form an equal, considerate partnership with Dorumon, which are flaws season two exploits nicely.

[paperclvps]

I give a pspspspsp, recently got Limbus have been loving it and have been directed to come to you to see which to play next

Oh, hi!

It's nice to hear from you. Thank you for coming on over and, I'll see what I can do for you.

Personally, right after I finished Limbus (since I was introduced to it by a dear, dear friend of mine, albeit somewhat late compared to project moon fans post limbus-) I purchased Library of Ruina.

I'm not sure if this is the best way to do it by any means, and it may be good to read around, but I'll list a few reasons why:

The main selling point Ruina had for me, was the obvious lore and identity tie ins- especially with the recent hells chicken event, of which the ids were pretty much identical to two of the characters from Ruina. Not only that, I wanted to know more about the 'factions' we have ids of so to speak, so I'd actually understand what was going on with them.

I wanted to know more about the world Limbus is set in, and it felt like a good idea to go from there. Especially with how similar the combat system is to Limbus, which I'd already picked up.

Ruina, similar to Limbus, is a turn-based rpg kinda game, though, if you're not a fan of games where you need to put together and build your own deck, it may be one you don't enjoy too much. I'm not much of a strategy person so I've struggled with enjoying it, and I've also heard that like a lot of project moon games the difficulty spike is quite harsh. The game is fun! Though, I personally play it for the story as I'm more story focused when it comes to games like this than the actual gameplay. Either way, it's worth the money and the time played, but I can't say I'd blame you if you just wanted to find a playthrough that displayed the story aspects if you're more of a reader writer type over a game mechanics person. That said, I'm aware Lobcorp is the first game by technicality, and I haven't had the time to play that one yet as I'm not much of a gaming person as mentioned previously. This one, as far as I know, is a management sim compared to the other two games. I would take the different game styles into mind before selecting which one you'd be most interested in playing first. Maybe take a look at early gameplay for each game to decide what you'd find the most fun, or challenging if that tends to be what you look for in a game. If you'd like to know a little more about thoughts on Lobcorp, my mutual @loveless-lovesickness seems to have been enjoying playing through that one. I do believe it has a lot of important lore to go over, that I'll have to look into further when I get a free second to enjoy other parts of the story, as I haven't really connected all that much with any of the characters post limbus which makes it difficult to motivate myself into playing.

With all that out of the way, do please remember that I started with Limbus, and that game fits my preferences more than either of the other two, so I may be biased! do take all I say with a grain of salt, and I'm sure there's a lot of longer term project moon fans on this website that can give you some better insight in the best order to play, for maximised knowledge and lore flow. I've enjoyed going into limbus with absoloutely no knowledge similar to Dante themselves, but may you find your game! Good luck, and most of all remember to take ample breaks if you find yourself frustrated.

[meatriarchived]

i cannot sleep for the life of me due to nausea, im running on maybe like. twenty solid minutes of the Essence of Sleep™ than any substantial sleep so. whatevers below may not make a lick of sense etc but imma just ramble until maybe my eyes kinda tucker out on me and whenever i become more human again ill revisit this so. possibly take it with a grain of salt

and also possible cw in the just case i ramble about anything like g.ore / injury / murder what have you. also nothing is meant to like. pigeonhole interactions into what this mess might have in it. i am simply wordvomiting at this point from lack of rest fingerguns

so when i think about the, what, i think they said roughly a month that maria's been missing? ( dont quote me pls but thats the estimated timeframe i have in my head so if its not then.... vague hand gestures ) with the implication that she's been captive so long, obviously comes with some thread-pulling on the usual M.O. of the family, which is typically yknow, kill quickly get the body taken care of so ideally no ones' missing their loved ones long enough to follow any trails. which, in that case, would mean that more than likely maria ( maybe others in the past ) were kept around as a plaything of sorts, a thing to toy with, to break.

and while i could see it being done so by johnny, for whatever his motive could possibly be to keep her alive for any prolonged period of time. frankly? i could more easily see her being kept alive for so long because of nancy. if maybe its just the womans' vitriolic nature that compels her to do so with a random victim from time to time, esp with her voicelines about some conjured up "attraction" regarding johnny on marias' part ( no ), its like. i could so easily see the woman being a big part of why they didn't kill her off as quickly - to teach her a lesson? to taunt her needlessly? to take out her sick anger on? who knows. but thats what im more inclined to at the moment when it comes to how i portray maria, esp in her Living aus.

its partly why ive got the itch in the back of my mind tho to possibly take on nancy when shes released ( i want to have more info on her esp before i decide to or not ). the woman just has so much venom in her and as much as it compels me to wanna hoist her up and throw her at a wall, shes like the hoyt of the game so far - theyre meant to be disgustingly cruel and vile and disturbing characters. but shes such a... nice foil in a sense to both luda and to maria.

like luda's not unfamiliar to killing, shes got blood on her hands in spite of her age, but shes not unnecessarily violent like nancy. luda harms or kills to get the job done - nancy has too much fun with it, she seems like she likes to take her time with people she fixates on and she seems as if she'd going out of her way to cause an abundance of unneeded harm to her victims. id argue that luda is respected in the family for her guidance and her role as matriarch, nancys' just lowkey straight-up feared to a degree because of how 0 - 10000 she can get. i can see them losing alot of potential food because she just...frankly goes way too far at times handling victims, that it makes the body mostly if not completely unusable to be butchered properly.

all that to say, yeah johnnys the one that herded maria to the family and sure i can see being why she wasn't killed immediately for likely just toying with her for a bit, tho with him i can feel the novelty of doing so could dwindle fairly quick; but i can see nancy being why shes still alive almost a month later, and in such rough shape yet still being kept alive ( in reference to her worse wounds being stitched up - if speaking with thomas in mind, he does enjoy sewing and will sew victims up if they arent ready or needing to be butchered right away so, could argue that he / bubba were told to do so by nancy to prolong maria's suffering. )

as for maria, in the aftermath of it all, its difficult to describe the types of injuries she definitely has because frankly when you consider the idea of her being alive for those weeks, her injuries must have been consistent and substantial, yknow? shes severely m.alnourished, severely dehydrated. physically shes a complete wreck and i truly think that until she saw ana and her friends? she'd gotten to the point of being shut down to it all and was simply waiting for death to take her in its arms ( which, i think if we think about nancy having a hand in keeping her so long, the lack of fight / reaction likely set her off in a different way than she's used to victims behaving and made her want to prolong marias life just to spite her ). like. at the end of it all, these people genuinely terrify and disgust and have t.raumatized her so badly, imagine being in her position for weeks.

maria's entire worldview and thoughts on people in general were so severely trampled on by this one singular family unit; she could never blindly trust people again, paranoia of being followed like she was, flinching from physical contact with people. she feels a shiver of fear when people smile broadly because she views it as having a sinister motive behind it. so much of her trust and willingness to see a shred of good in people by default just, shattered completely.

to note: i am still awake and my eyes are not tired yet and i am internally sobbing cause at this point im not going to get any sleep until later in the day cause i have errands to run in a couple hrs but im gonna cut this here dsfbjhkas

i'll end it here tho by noting that, should this make sense in terms of nancy by the time shes in game and all, then theres a good chance she'll ( unfortunately ) be added but also

in terms of the slightest sliver of a chance that, should one of the friends locate maria years after shes gone off to the pacific north west on her own and tell her about the plans to return to the house?

imma just be real and say maria may or may not wanna beat the ever-loving shit outta nancy if she somehow still has the audacity to be breathing- dsasdjk

[espectres]

The first signal of Keisuke nearby was just him politely clearing his throat to alert of his presence. This was accompanied with an odd sound – the ruffling of tissue paper. 

❝ Um. I heard it was your birthday... happy birthday, Suzuki-kun. I'm glad you're here. ❞ A smile was spared for the youth as Keisuke passed over a small gift bag, the next moment just a hand patting atop the youth's head. He tried to be mindful of the hairstyle, but more than that, he turned away to head off to let Shou open the gift in privacy. He didn't want to stand by with the expectation of a certain reaction or anything. Keisuke paused. 

❝ Please don't tell your father. I don't want to get into trouble. ❞

The gift bag contained a couple of different types of candy and a switchblade...

WAS THERE WORD OUT ? Shou thinks of Ootsuki, the latest to find out about the date by accident when their team was discussing fake IDs. Maybe he spread the thing without thinking, he isn't the most considerate individual out there. Shou's head tips to the side curiously, he certainly didn't expect anything on this day, it could fly by without as much of a notice from anyone and he wouldn't mind, he could suck it up without a problem, he wasn't a small child anymore, and nonchalance proved itself efficient among peers who had much greater things to worry about, and parents who didn't worry about the right things.

❝ Hoo - !!! ❞ He can only verbalize his surprise when handed the gift. The boy stares down, something new and bright glimmering in his eyes, but he remains clueless of how to react, what was he supposed to do ? Say that it wasn't necessary ? Things like "You didn't have to." and "Good wishes would've been enough." ;  they seem far fetched yet true, but all wrong when he really thinks about, when he imagines saying it out loud- And the affectionate gesture silence him further, he looks up with a weak type of annoyance knitting his eyebrows, something without much of a fight or clear dismay to it. He certainly hated when the hair was touched, that was beyond true- but there was something so reassuring about Keisuke, something different, something he can trust in that proximity, physical and emotional. 

"Thank you."  Lodges itself in his throat, uncomfortable and difficult and definitely harboring murderous intent in the way it clogged his breath and gagged his speech up until the other walks away, and Shou hates himself for being ridiculously helpless, ridiculously moved. 

He will find a way to say it, he decides before plopping down right then and there, being the impatient little thing he is and opening the bag without an ounce of grace. Candy catches his eye and the idea of sugar lightens up his mood without fail, Fukuda happened to monitor these precisely, afraid that Shou would instantly get diabetes the moment the healer looks away- There is something else, something very interesting. Shou holds up the tool carefully, instantly recognizing the thick handle and the delicate mechanical details, a button press and the sturdy form of blade shines like a threat in his grip. He turns it over and over, grinning ruefully as his finger runs along the silver tip, it must be pretty sharp. ❝ Nice ... ❞

Nice, nice, Keisuke was too nice to him. Just what the hell is up with that guy. Shou doesn't know, but he knows he likes this weapon in his grip and the fact that it could still prove itself useful even in the life of people with powers far beyond normal human threat. A lot about this whole deal should be worrying, but Shou finds himself grateful instead. His sense of carefulness and general awareness modeled into something disfigured and odd and fitting and understandable by only people like himself, like his teammates, like Keisuke. 

He pockets his newly acquired tool with a dozen of emotions running through his heart and veins, but a single thought remains in his mind, and it almost makes him laugh ;  his old man wouldn't give a fuck.