#it just means that i Didnt bother u with my bs which is such a win

[lorephobic]

i really do just be dumping my entire life story into the tags of this website. i love my tags. she is like a diary to me.

[mandalhoerian]

ayup it’s the person that sent those vera things like a week ago ?? yk the one that made a fool of themself by rambling about ur oc ! anyways i reread it bc ofc i did and. idk. it’s such an amazing fic like genuinely and i felt a need to express it. like outside of how well-thought vera is and how interesting her dynamics with marvin + leon are (and claire ofc) and just. the pacing and story progression. it’s all so well done. and i’m sure someone has told u this in ur ao3 comments but the way ur reinterpreting canon a lil and having vera shake things up is so fun and genuinely interesting which is why i went back and reread it all. it feels like there’s a lot i kinda missed the first time round with the nuances of vera’s character which was. very fun to go back around and see again. hope ur doing well <3

HI OMG WELCOME BACK IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU

(you aren't a fool it's my inspiration and motivation juice YOU TAKE THAT BACK🔪)

first of all you are A CHAD. The fic is 100K words oh god I can't imagine -- im happy it was more enjoyable the second time around at least 😭😭😭😭 It's amazing to hear that despite the fat word count, you think the pacing and progression is going well!

Unrelated tidbit but I really didn't know how to introduce Vera before starting the fic and was debating on starting from pre-RE2R in the summer of 1998, spend five chapters and so with Vera assisting Jill in her investigation and unravel things from there. But at the end I was like "literally nobody would read that" and thought what best technique is there by starting right in the middle of action and chaos? And the rest I winged it.

That had to mean I had to go through EVERYTHING about her life and how she got to that point by peppering the events throughout the plot as Leon and her story also progressed alongside it, and I couldn't gloss over anything, so it just expanded and expanded and expanded and I'm sure got boring as hell at places since she hides a bunch of shit from the others and good god do they have to be integrated to the plot of re2r AND UGHHHHHHHH. Thank you for telling me I havent messed up LMAOOOOOOO

About the canon. I have a bone to pick with some of the game and the story, I don't like how they went about a couple of things. This is me trying to lay the groundwork to fix them and everything by tweaking .

For example Leon pulling the "i have to talk to the chief first" bs and saying "Idk what happened it happened to fast" to ada like he was trying to make excuses like a child to his parent really irked me, especially in the original re2 he bent over backwards to get ben out of the cell so he could come along with them. (dont talk to me about how a law-abiding rookie he's supposed to be. that could have been done better. leon simply isn't a person to leave someone like that, and he was hearing about chef irons the writing on that could have been better) And the way Claire and Leon barely interacted when they are the core of re2 together was just not it. The lack of Sherry and Leon together was also weird when Sherry is a big part of why he was taken by the government and stayed, and how Sherry blatantly says he saved her in RE6. (I know they just completely wiped the slate clean off Sherry and Leon with RE4R backstory by just saying Leon just didnt have a choice but like. yeah) and also Ada. God Ada "(to the woman she wants to discreetly capture. since she's A SPY) We're here for the g-virus and i will now proceed to jump in front of the bullets" & "Where's Leon when I need him (has treated him as a nuisance the whole way)" Wong. Im sure there are a lot more things but i cant think of them rn but I am annoyed with Things

SORRY I JUST WENT OFF ON A TANGENT. But like. Having Vera involved and having her existence be a reason on changing things around is so much fun. I could just expand on child experimentation and the truth of the orphanage through her, it was always something wildly bothering me that they kept that plot so subtle in Claire's story. Birkins (or maybe just William. we'll never know) were using children in G-virus experiments WHY DIDNT THEY TALK ABOUT THAT MORE DUDE? That's why canon divergence makes things so much more interesting because it's not just transcribing the game and inserting an OC along the way, it's changing things and making new things up, keeping things fresh

GOD I TALKED SO MUCH SORRY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!!!!!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[ugbobae]

IM BO BAE  🡢 bobby

reintroducing my muse, im bobae. goes by bo, bobby, bae for the most part but appreciates any and all potential nicknames or puns made on and WILL steal them to use on merch. probably wants to open a streetwear brand on her own someday but that shit’s expensive. the girl is a hustler, grew up broke and is not about to go back to that so catch her putting food on the t a b l e and if you wanna call her out for selling out, well, be her guest. not that it won’t bother her, no she’ll be pissy and sad about it for sure. she’ll also vandalize your property if the situation presents itself. ya girl is a walking misdemeanor. she’s a rising star which means hongdae is turning it’s back on her, something she has extremely complicated feelings about.

her primary genre is electropop and she pulls heavy influence in sound from artists like yelle, yeseo, yaeji, neon bunny, iu (selectively) and others. i’ve got a playlist if you’re interested 6v6. basically i want all the drama and angst and all the possible heartwrenching bs so hmu!

we went to elementary/ middle school /kindergarten together on the wrong side of seoul and played latchkey kid mischief together while our dads finished lengthy factory shifts, we were basically family but life separated us for xyz reasons, now we’re chillin again in hongdae and its kind of weird but nice and nostalgic

we’ve mutually admired each other’s music for awhile now and are finally getting a chance to work together, but there’s a real possibility of backlash for either / both of us due to current rumormongering around bobby’s career so maybe you want to back out or maybe its kind of strained

we came up together in the scene before bo was ‘bobby’ and we were mad close. but, when bobae transitioned to a more electronica type of sound it became kind of strained, because you felt she lost her roots and in general both grew up a lot since then. so there’s some kind of spark or familiarity or wistful connection there but now they’re left feeling at odds trying to chase a lost friendship when our paths have diverged so much

a frequent dalliance, bobby doesn’t exactly NOT sleep around but she’s not a one night stand kind of girl either. she makes big promises and doesn’t follow through, so you can be guaranteed up to one to two months of fun fun fun and then its intermittently reappearing in your life every few weeks like nothing happened. out of sight out of mind?

ride or die besties, soul bonded, tell you everything, the one person that bobae actually doesn’t ghost out on unintentionally. literally she’d kill someone if you even seemed like you wanted it. maybe you’re exhausted by her though, she’s a lot. hopefully someone who is a slight foil to her, someone more solid to weigh down her flighty kite string.

literally just the messiest mess of obsession and love and just being completely over the top about each other, in destructive ways. like just fully a big mess of nonsense and back and forth and all the drama and theyre both just way in too deep and also fully hung up on their own issues and its visceral and brutal and soft and terrible and wonderful.

i’d also love any kind of obnoxious antagonism for the sake of fun, so feel free to throw that at me. those reasons tend to be more interesting if theyre predicated on existing stuff tho so no premade there!

SOUL CRUSHING ANGST FIRST LOVE EX. details tbd based on plotting i just love misery

spontaneous little bits and bobs

we always run into each other at the bus stop going to jog by the han and after awhile i finally came up to you to say hey and now we’re running buddies and its a nice safe space away from the judgement she usually gets but then oops she sees u around the scene and realizes where she knows you from finally and now its not the same

i heard you shit talking me when you didnt know i was around and then you caught me trying to vandalize your motorcycle / some other petty crime lol

i sang guide for one of your tracks and then you heard one of my new songs being shopped around and now we’ve become creative partners that play off each other’s ideas to develop one another, and maybe we’re mutual muses for each other n its just a great creative friendship full of mutual improvement

you caught me making questionable and likely dangerous choices when fully drunk and either went along with me and now we’re tight as fuck or dragged me back to safety and now we’re tight but also in the way where you resent ‘babysitting’ a fool when trashed

substance abuse friends enabling poor decisions idk

people who resent her for the choices she’s made for her career would be interesting too

[swatato]

fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED

That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;

Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.

They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.

And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)

Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.

And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.

Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.

Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this

and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8

His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.

The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.

I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

[i-hate-lloyd-garmadon]

@bemmiecake k den lol if you really werent talking about me and it was just a, coincidence then shit my bad lol

im on mobile so i cant add a read more sorry hoes its a long post

EDIT: finally there’s a read more

skybound is a bad season because of how poorly it treated its characters and trying to be "progressive" but instead just recycling the same harmful clichés and going nowhere with the problems it supposedly wanted to tackle.

the biggest issue i have with it is yeah, nya, this is by far her worst season, and i dont mean it as nya herself, or wherether she kicked butt in this season or not, but instead how the writers practically gave her no choice over her actions. she even says she didnt have a choice over becoming the water ninja, but its the writers who decided that, it wasnt wu, it wasnt jay, theyre fictional characters with no real life power. the writers ripped nya off all her will to choose, back in possession when they introduced her as the elemental master of water, she DIDNT have to become a ninja, her powers are not tied to lloyd in any way and she couldve stayed as a samurai just fine. but instead they decided to add more drama, because nya is a girl and girls are all about drama! right? they treat their only main female character SO badly, she's the writers punching bag for whenever they want to shove romantic drama in our face, neither pixal or skylor had it this badly (although each have problem of their own)

its not like the production doesnt know what theyre doing is bad, they do. if they didnt, then, skybound wouldnt have actually adressed these issues.

anyway, at the very start of the season nya's initial conflict is being treated in a very misogynistic way by the media. being seen only as "the girl ninja" or "jays girlfriend" and the whole love triangle bs instead of her own person.which is a very legitimate problem that not only happens to her or other fictional characters, but to women in real life, i was slightly impressed they even /tried/ to confront this concept. but of course, they had to go ahead and tie this conflict to a man, they just HAD to un-develop jays character to make more drama. im not saying nya should be isolated from men lol, but every. single. woman. in EVERYTHING EVER MUST BE IN SOME WAY INVOLVED WITH A MAN. Its not progressive to say "girls its ok to date men!", nope, no. what we lack of instead is a positive "girls its ok to be on your own!" message.

so it INFURIATES me that they tried to add "feminism" (if u can even call that shit feminist lol) by making dareth say ooc shit like girls can only cook and do their makeup so nya can tell him how WRONG he IS and that girls are STRONG and INDEPENDANT!!!!!1111(SEE WE'RE SO OPEN MINDED LOVE US) and making jay obess over getting back again. they didnt solve anything, everything felt as if some unknown forces (bad writing) forced nya to just accept everything that happened to her. in the end she didnt do anything that she wanted to do, she stayed as a ninja and her and jay got together again, even when she literally said she WANTED TO BE A SAMURAI and that she DIDNT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. ugh, the writers made her complain about how wu didnt let her choose and then they didnt let her choose what to do about it lol.

and of COURSE, they had to make it even worse, they just HAD to kill her off at the end. one of the oldest and most boring clichés in everything ever, and a misogynistic one at that. killing a female character just so her male love interest can grieve over her death is nothing new. and its even worse when you consider what happened to her in that entire season.

first she gets poorly treated by the media, she feels like shes not even a person of her own, nadakhan wants to kidnap her so he can marry her, then her ex gets obsessed with getting back together (jay was shit in this season), then she stays alone with said ex which probably influenced her decision on getting back with him (the whole "i knew from the moment we met" thing is so forced), later she gets kidnapped, forced to marry nadakhan and gets possessed by delara, only to die after in a failed tearjerker scene. how did her character develop? it didnt, she was used to develop jays character instead. all the things happening to her where to see how jay would react or act, not to make nya grow as a character. even after she was "part of the team" now they still treated her only as jay's love interest.

theres literally no lesson to be learned from nya dying lol we DONT need dead women in a kids cartoon, specially one that is directed at young boys. it being all erased at the end didnt make it any better tbh it just felt like this season was a waste of time.

tldr; the ninjago writers tried to be progressive but failed miserably

so yeah nya being poorly treated is what bothers me the most, ofc theres other things i also mentioned like jays un-development, dareth's ooc lines, and the bad messages this season gives to girls in general. but this post is already long as it is and my hands hurt from typing for almost an hour lol.

idk if im missing something but its almost 3 am and thats p much why i hate skybound, bye

[a-rain-atherapy]

so i recently got validation and reassurance on something that had been (and still kinda is) bothering me, suffocating me for the last three years... and it feels like both a metric ton of weight got lifted off me and like i swallowed a giant ton of molten-cooling lava

for the last three years id be lying in bed and then the depression negative thoughts would come flyin in my mind, esp around times when i was super stressed or worried or had like a bunch of shit backed up with looming deadlines, and the one thought that would always stand out to me was

‘Am I making you (my parents/family) proud of me?’

and the urge, the need to call and ask for validation was so strong i had my phone in my hands with my finger kinda hovering over the call button several times.

but it was usually anywhere between 3-6AM and even though theyve told me multiple times that they dont mind me calling them in the middle of the night for something , i still felt bad and didnt. id turn my phone off and put it down and just lie in bed until i passed out somehow or try to distract myself with my phone games until it got to the ‘i need to go to sleep now to be functional’ time and then fill my head of nonsense and entertainment shit i absorbed until i passed out somehow (who knows how falling asleep works i would love to knock out as soon as i touch the pillow but no. gotta lie around for half an hour almost unconscious but then gotta change position cuz the last one got uncomfortable suddenly or its too hot or w/e)

so this kind of mental tug of war kept happening and i never told anyone because why would i? that would be admitting to my feelings and i couldnt do that without taking the time to understand why i have these feelings and where they came from and that would 1) take a lot of time and 2) make me fucking emotional and cry. neither of which i could afford in college so i put it aside and never acknowledged them like the unhealthy coping mech it is. (still actually havent had a good self maintenance yet)

it was the worst senior year. i stopped taking my medication (with the hesitant ok of the psychiatrist) and things were ok for a bit and then it tanked and just kept falling and i didnt do anything except take my hands off the wheel and just watched myself falling. classes? skipped. meals? instant/super quick unhealthy shit or order-in. energy? barely. motivation? absolutely none. 

everything was tiring and too much and i essentially shut down during the last half-year of school beause it was just Too Much and i couldnt cope well enough. big shoutout to my homie roommates who were pretty supportive of my lazy lifestyle and supported my random super blaze passions including kpop and gaming.

but yea about a week ago woke up early for my ddads bday to make him an omelette as per his request which was then postponed till lunch but meh. had a chat with the mother about something i cant really recall but it somehow spiralled into me talking about my motivations and how i didnt really have any. going back to that one mean teacher of mine in 6th grade who made us write out our goals and hopes for the school year before/during/after the year and me being a simple child who just came to school day by day and did things day by day without really caring much about antyhing else wrote N/A on all 3 boxes because it was true. i didnt come to school with goals for learning anything because it was school? i didnt know what i was gonna learn? and i didnt really have anything that i wanted to learn? so no goals???? and she saw it and was all ‘this is impossible your’re lying’ or somethin. point is she made me take it back home, had my parents read and sign it ( my no goals) and change it to tell the truth. i wrote some bs i dont recall and handed it bakc with my parents signature (i dont think they really understood? and i dont think my teacher really looked at it again after that>?? so???? why bother???????) 

and my mom was all ‘yeah ok what about now though? are u ok with what u are now?’ and im all ‘yea i think im ok’ 

she asked me’ what about u is ok?’ like clearly shes fishin for some answer- my weight/hygeine/social abilitity whatever i guess

‘well im not dead right?’ was my reply no hesitation. and as u can geuss it, her response was ‘why is that ur first repsonse?’ and honestly i dont know? its true though? im not dead and thats ok. im decent i can still move i can eat if i want to, im not struggling as bad as i could be, so isnt that ok? theres nothign especially great or bad in my life right now so i guess im just ok. im middle grounding like i have for my entire life. and thats ok to me for now.

which prompted her responses+my dads that you know, i graduated college in 4 years thats an acoomplishment i should be proud of that because not even dad did it in 4 (it was 5) 

and then out of left field she comes in with the ‘im proud of you for that’, ‘im reallyt proud of you’ and it hit me like an emotional runaway train of feels. the validation that i had been wanting to hear for the last three years, just kinda thrown out there casually in conversation like it was a compliment. like a ‘oh ur hair looks nice this way’ or ‘you cooked dinner really nicely today’  it made me emotional enough to cry a bit, like the silent 1-2 tears, is still making me emotional remembering it. 

like truly. thank you for being proud of me, for barely dragginb myself through this last obstacle and for giving me a respite before i start tryin the next obstacle that is a fuckin job. im sorry if i made you worry about me before and im sorry for giving you stress about my stress too. 

(but what if she just said it but not really meant it? what if she lied? the way it was said was so casual what if she didnt really mean it? but the thing about validation is that i cant keep requesting it-it doesnt work that way. the first few times is ok but then at what point, what number of repetitions does the ‘Request validation’ button stop working properly? if at all? i think thats how i lost a friend in 7th grade, i asked her too many times if we were friends and she kinda gently? blew up on me and we havent talked since, so>????)

its not like theyll ever see this and im not really a personal feelings sharing kind of person so i dont think that ill tell them this either but its nice to get all my feelings out there. 

[the-warmest-hands]

November has come

monday: ran to utegym at polo fields and then ran back. went to spoke easy before they even opened and got a loaner stem, still needa order a real one. stuck my old bars on which kinda fit? (later on i tried to gun it on balboa bump and handlebars moved, soooooo maybe it doesn’t fit) went to school on that shit anyway no bar tape, so cold bars. COLD BARS COLD HANDS in arch worked on science room with ray, it was good and we made progress tuesday: sore from utegym cuz weak, did stretch (eric goodman), went to volunteering where i shoveled a hundred loads of wood chips and got a blister from hauling wheelbarrows of that shit. it was fun af tho cuz strong and also fatigue then went to work where it was chill af and the perfect amount of orders also it was halloween and i ate some candy. also sayaka put a eyeball bow in my hair cuz i was looking very unfestive wednesday: decided to be lazy and not go to utegym. then dressed super nice (in emily’s clothes) and didn’t even bike to school but i looked fly as fuck!!!!!!! and then got nothing done in arch. bussed home and read more of jacques pepin memoir which was so fucking good then biked to work more perfect level of work then biked home in less than 5 minutes cuz im fast af

damn im tired

tomorrow gonna utegym. gotta get dem abs #swimmerBodNoSwim also it’s november also work is dope yo fuckin dig that shit

thurs: no utegym cuz woke up late. dragged my ass to volunteering. then work. chill timez friday: utegym! then trip planning and quick stop at spoke easy to order replacement parts. then work. work was good. j is back

saTURDay: transplanting at OH50 / work 4 dayz

sunday: BUILD TABLE went to discount builders for studs, carried them the 4 blocks to noisebridge, measured and cut our pieces, then sanded, then started nailing shit together. coulda done a better job planning cuz we then had to use wood glue cuz we didnt want to have the screws be visible. clamped and left it there to dry

monday: science room with ray at enchante, then bussed to noisebridge to meet emily and do minor sanding. took table home via uber

tuesday: volunteering (tired af) trapping gophers! / work (still tired af)

wednesday: school? what the fuck i don’t even remember cuz i’m tired af hung out with ray and we got no work done because we were just talking about food (and now i have to do a million fucking things), then work which was brutal

thursday: biked to get various errand shit in potrero hill / discount builders since we were going that way anyway and apparently every other hardware store is like $$$$$$$ because fucking idfk, bought some pants at xroads cuz one of my two pairs of jeans ripped on tuesday (in the bikeseat crotch area, same demise as all previous pairs of pants) (maybe i should get a new saddle) (with what money tho) (but actually maybe) then went to work which was brutal also now i’m home and uhh i have to do homework

also since i like to be stressed all the goddamn time i’m going to spend all of my free time browsing requirements for grad school

why

why do this

i never even fucking browse internet anymore

because i am literally never on my laptop

because i have no goddamn time

this year is almost over

plz hurry

oh also splurged and got myself a croissant at arsicault finally (seriously i needa stop going to places just to buy shit for other people and not buying anything for myself??? DO THEY EVEN DESERVE IT) (but also seriously stop. i have no money for this) (also got emily one too cuz i mean, almond croissant? that had her name on it) (but also seriously. poverty rules everything around me. PREAM) (ok i want to die bye tumblr) (also misha are u happy w these xanga-esque angst posts LMAO all 4 u bro) (jk i know u have no time to read my bs)

also been listening to rly dope music lately like ACE OF BASE the best this shit gonna get me thru the rest of 2017 like how 3EB got me thru every programming job ever (”got me thru” aka “kept me from quitting even sooner” LMAO) goodbye tech forever goodnight moon

friday: wtf day even is it woke up worked on science room cuz ray couldn’t meet up for whatever reason who gaf (but also prolly i was more productive since i didn’t waste a hundred hours chatting) listened to a lot of ace of base a lot still listening to ace of base actually then went to work after i spent a hundred hours doing 1 insignificant af thing

work was ok started slow, then more orders, also ate a lot of candy in effort to stay alive talked to bosses after work and they said i was doing a good job but also seem to always be in a trance whenever im prepping. aka being slow af. okkkkkkk i will work harder on this also im dying and im prolly gonna cut OH50 tomorrow because i honestly can’t or i could just take the bus there and bring my laptop and work on science room project or i could not take the bus there and just work on science room project at home

i needa ride my bike on monday at polo field im dying

i need to clear my head

saturday: k i cut OH50 because i frankly couldn’t be bothered, and also did fucking nothing broke my window cuz i sat on it while putting up lights so now i have to fix this also my phone for some fucking reason isn’t charging so i have to figure out wtf is going on there uh work was good idk bosses gave me birthday gifts